#i am sometimes passive agressive in there so be warn

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

The witcher review - part 2

So here we are… this is the hardest post for me to write. Because I have to fight my inner rage to think straight and keep as much of cool as I can while I write. This is rare.

As always since the announcement, the general consensus is to hate no matter what, and I won't lie, it's driving me crazy. I had even a breaking point not long ago, stumbling on an "article" mourning Hector the horse that won't come back for S4, and turning a not returning actress as she left the boat for implicite bad scripts whereas her character is simply not returning story wise (in the books also).

Do I have to mention the constant rain of bad comments on every video or official posts ? Or the vast majority of the articles and reviews are over focused on one thing only, erasing from the existence of every other good work done ?

Because yes ! Curiously there is good work in there too. Sheer stupefaction ! The series is not that bad. And do you believe it ? Quite book accurate in the global storyline also !

Am I a tad sarcastic there ? Yes. Not in my points though. But I am really REALLY pissed off. And this is my last stand. I understand that I am a drop in the ocean. A little shit screaming into the void. A stupid arse loving the series for the stories it offers.

So… if you are still here, that's because you surely are in the same state of mental exhaustion than I am. Maybe angry too, or sad. Maybe you liked the series also and want something else to read other than "burn it down !".

[Pretty accurate representation of myself]

So... Here is the short version for those who don't care about the development of my review :

I loved it. Yes !

A lot of emotions.

Geraskier. I rolled down the hill again so hard and so fast that you can see burning traces on the grass on my path lol.

Buckled some storylines from the first season for the main characters and secondary characters too.

Perfect ? Certainly not. There are problems and I will address them.

Book accurate ? Mostly yes but no at the same time. The story is there, not told the same way. There are twists and changes but the checkpoints are validated and cohesive (believe it or not), catching up books threads and the divergent series' too. Some almost straight out of the pages in this second part too.

Proper send off to Henry ? If you aim for fulfillment, then no. But his ending matches with the beginning of the Hansa, so I am personally happy with it. Also it had more depth than what it seems.

So now behind this break, I will spoil the series in great lengths, as much as the books. I will probably go further than Time of Contempt because they included pieces from Baptism of Fire. Again I will say what works and what doesn't in my opinion. I am not on a solo thread of thinking.

But you know I guess even some gray is giving light in this infamous soup darkness. So let's go !

Warning : it contains mature subjects.

[Important note : I have read the RI article about Tomek giving explanations about plot simplification. I will address this in the flow in my review. Well kinda].

My detailed general point of view :

Even with a lot of twists and turns, I did like the series part 2 (and the series overall !). The second volume had me having emotional roller-coasters. If you care for any characters, they have their moments of raw emotions. Secondary characters included. That moment between Fringilla and Francesca for example or Tissaia's farewell… 😢.

Everything emotional with Jaskier had just me on my knees… 😭

It goes pretty much by the books in terms of events and uses pieces of them as framing devices. For the twists. Some are good, some less. What we have the most is one character doing something another would normally do. But most of the time this is fluid and it doesn't bother me much. Mostly I liked, loved even, the stories that were told behind.

In the middle ground. I don't see it as bad but more as an irritating thing.

There is a big change of plot with Yennefer (again) but this is more a problem of how to tell the story afterwards more than a big wrong like in S2, and I am just curious how they will handle some storylines from there. The irritating part though is that they have a tendency to use her too much for everything, so she runs everywhere. This is quite frantic in episode 6 but then it slows down fortunately.

Also the series doesn't fully go on the darkest side of the books. The rating 16+ is a bit overlooked in my opinion. There is blood and some monsters but this is a soft 16+. There is real gore in the books and the subjects are far more disturbing. The flesh monster tries to compensate for what is not told about Vilgefortz's experiments for example. But the mage is a f.cking lunatic. And if you felt bad for Geralt after his fight with him, go get some brutal internal pov of Geralt while he is literally destroyed. Also a part of Geralt's arc with the parallel with Ciri is more disturbing in its core. But they didn't go as far as with the Rats (yet ?) so they crafted another motivation, which is not a bad one, by the way.

This is middle ground to me because, for sure it would have challenged the viewer more, but some subjects may not be easily validated to show on screen to fill the rating.

On the wrong side (yes because I am not in a tunnel - I see goods and bads), for me there are some strong editing problems that put an uneven rhythm that can bore or frustrate, depending on the part. I was not bored but a bit frustrated sometimes so I can understand why some were annoyed, let's put it that way.

They seem to rush for the plot, cutting some breathing moments or dragging on some other parts. With a recurrent issue to make us feel the passage of time

For me this is what severes the series the most, especially in the second volume.

Also, on the visual effects, there are some issues too. Something is sadly unfinished there. It feels like the deadline was an immovable obstacle and they tried to rush everything they could in it.

So, here we are. Now I will detail everything ! Compare with the books when I can etc. Because I can't bear anymore reading all this dry "they did not respect the source material" thing, to say it politely. Maybe I will be annoying as hell. But this is how I work. I have feelings, I have opinions, like everyone else I can be passionate, but I can justify my position and I will do it.

SO !

Book accuracy ?

First, because I have to play dumb, these are the large blocks of the Time of Contempt only, just to have a visual idea of the proportions of the stories.

So now please tell me there is too much of Ciri, too much mages, too much politics… ** cough cough **

OK let's go. As I said in the short version, accuracy is a yes and a no for me. Let's begin with the no.

Things happen pretty much in the same chronological order but like in an alternate version of the books. In some events, this is not always with the good character carrying the moment. But this is the case from the beginning of the show. And although I found this strange sometimes I never felt confused by it. Some of them are necessary compression of narratives, some are holding arcs to fulfill and become relevant at the end. And the arcs, the stories told, are what appealed to me the most.

A large part of those switches comes from the invented parts for secondary characters. Because they had written things in advance. Why did they choose to set up a lot of them from S1, you say ? Because otherwise we would have to deal with a massive drop names with everyone having their agenda, popping out of nowhere, and trying to have the big part of the cake this season (2 to 4 in my picture). What would happen then ? Confused audience for those who haven't read the books or play the games. And if you tell me, but we are the audience ! Then why I read so many : "Why the politics ? Why Ciri desert thing ? Why the sorceresses ? This is boring and long, why no monster hunts ?" Well… 👆.

At least, I can understand the last statement from the gamers because the story is rhythmed by the hunts, but for the rest, lads, this is the book for Time of Contempt and a part of Baptism of Fire.

And this where my "yes this is accurate" lands.

Time of Contempt particularly contains a f.cking loads of politics, of mages and a lot of Ciri. Sure Geralt is the main POV in a good amount but in the politics part for the most of it. This is basically him in rooms with people, discussing. He doesn't do much other than that. To be fair, there are always good fights, he has always good fights, and this books provides, but the monster fights are not that over present and overall, Geralt is reluctant to kill in general except when he has to protect. He fights people… The real monsters of the stories.

What did I find book accurate in this second volume ? The Thanedd coup setup (the battle is almost pure entertainment). Ciri in the desert, definitely. Some parts of Brokilon. Tissaia's death is delayed in time but accurate. Dijkstra and Philippa general plot in Redania even if simplified. The false Ciri at Nilfgaard. Geralt on the road with Jaskier and Milva at the end.

The issues

As I said, for me the problem is really the choice of pacing that makes some parts feeling dragged and others rushed. Particularly in episode 7. This is the most book accurate part with Ciri, but the pacing of what is before and after makes it odd. She is the only one we feel the passing of time for. The Brokilon part almost not. But technically days had passed too.

I understand what they did there, trying to make us feel her isolation, but putting two parts with different rhythms together that way was what makes it crumble. Making a parallel between Ciri's struggle and Geralt's would have maybe corrected the pacing, and just having scenes with places, travel from afar, something that links the time and space with the characters (they did that a bit with the first episode and that was great !). But distance and time is an ongoing problem on this show.

Speaking of time, note that in the books Geralt stays a long time in Brokilon healing. A month like. And he was in a very bad shape for a long time during this period. This is for those who are unhappy to have him stuck in a bed moaning for too long.

Then the last episode has the major shift from the book with Yennefer. The birth of the Lodge of the sorceresses has one of the best ending arcs and the most twisted storyline with dragged moments. I am not against Yennefer being in the heart of the Lodge with Philippa doing her things on the side, because I understand that having that part told without main character to connect with would be hard for a lot of people but the fact that Yennefer is used has a plot insert too many times irritates me.

The scene where she heals Geralt for example is one that I don't like. In terms of emotions, this is great. But for Geralt this is wrong. I hope the healing is not complete, for S4, like in the books. Because the fact that he is experiencing phantom pain is a part that makes his journey psychologically interesting.

Now, that said !

And this is where I'll develop the good parts for me. And I am sorry if I become (even) more sarcastic but you know… I do what I can with my bleeding heart in front of so much hatred.

The arcs

This is where a lot of people sadly give reason to Tomek about the need for simplification, in my opinion.

They did simplify the plots, true that, but as soon as there are some under layers to dig, this is the big farewell of the crowd. Because I read things like : volume 2 is empty. Geralt is barely in it or without depth. They did wrong to him.

Know that if they really had stopped where Time of Contempt ends, then you would have just Ciri in the desert and the Rats. Final dot (cf my picture).

And if this is empty to you, maybe this is because you've erased the plotlines from your memory, or defining a character the way it is done in the book is not for you.

The series plays with circular references and mirroring characterisation but I guess this is unimportant. Lazy. Irrespectful. Uncaring. Or whatever. Because this is not forefront.

Maybe you wanted more than a rampage at a post frontier and the walk into the mist. I can understand that this is not satisfying in terms of fulfillment for his presence, I really can, but there is closure for his arc too in there.

But maybe you missed the full circle in this part of the journey for him too. And if you didn't. Maybe you don't care. I don't know...

I am not above anybody else. I watch things with my own perspective. Maybe you think I am stupid or currently arrogant or overlooking things. So be it. I am the stupid one then. I don't mind. But I'll do it anyway. I'll do my shitty analysis. So many scream. I have the right to stand my ground for what I appreciate. Who would read this anyway…

So let's get into the thematics and dig everyone's plotlines, shall we. I will divide this into parts and develop many characters through those aspects.

Blood family vs found family

Vulnerabilities

Loyalty and betrayal

Clinging onto the past and repeating history

Blood family vs found family

In the last part of S3, several characters have a defining moment about family. And they are mirroring each other within their relationships. They have been setup early in the previous seasons.

The accent is put on the found families and how strong their links are. For some more than blood. And then how sometimes, blood heritage goes against that.

We have obviously THE found family. Ciri, Yennefer and Geralt, extended to Jaskier (thank god!). They have all left their blood family behind. Book Jaskier not totally but the series one seems to.

The trio of Destiny as I like to call them, are three orphans linked by destiny but fighting it in the first place. This is only when they accept it that the family emerges. And this is a strong one. Their issues with their blood family define a part of their actions and how they grow.

Geralt was abandoned. In response to that trauma he printed in himself the will of never to do that to Ciri ever ! (vol 1). Even in the letter he wrote to Yennefer, he tells her that this is the first time he experiences real fear. And this fear is to lose Ciri and her… Losing against Vilgefortz made this fear a reality. So now in Brokilon when he is trying to walk back to Ciri even when he can't is the display of his desperation. He has to accept that despair first so he can heal enough to actually have a chance to succeed. This desperation transforms into rage that can burst at any time. He is calm on the surface, but a boiling volcano inside.

White Knight complex and neutrality (side note). In S1, in Blaviken we established that Geralt has a white knight complex and he tells the story to Renfri of how he chose neutrality, telling her a story that illustrates that. He saved a young girl from a rapist. And while he thought he did the right thing he ended up being the one treated like a monster. That is why he chooses not to get involved again. Renfri's story showed him that not taking a side was impossible but he sticked with it anyway. Neutrality became his mojo and tried to live with that, even teaching it to Ciri. Renfri's broach was a reminder of that silent promise he made to himself. And the Thanedd coup is the pinnacle of that resolution and desire to protect. Till the end he won't pick a side. But when he failed against Vilgefortz everything crumbled.

The last scene we have with him, that rampage doesn't come from nowhere as a lot likes to think. The soldier suggests he would rape the girl. And that's what triggered his rage. Yeah the same story that made him who he was… I guess this stupid and empty…

The broach he leaves behind is the symbol of the neutrality he abandons. He is a man with a huge scar inside and the only thing that can soothe him is finding his daughter.

Jaskier says it out loud beforehand in case you would miss what to come : the war outside is nothing in front of what Geralt would unleash on this Continent to find his daughter.

The arc of neutrality is closed. Time for a new one. A hurt dad, a warrior, roaming the Continent to find the child he promised never to abandon. No depth at all in the writing of this arc… yep yep.

But this is not the only layer of Geralt. We will see that in another point.

Now Yennefer. She has the easiest arc to get. Her blood family sold her and in her struggle to get control over her own life she hurt the two found families she had. First Tissaia whose mother side became apparent when she had to take the same responsibilities with Ciri. Then Geralt and Ciri when she succumbs to Voleith Meir. But her redemption arc fulfills her need to be a mother. Even if she fails finding Ciri and leaves that task to Geralt (which is a plot hole in a way*), she comes full closure with her motherhood duties.

And she has a beautiful and powerful new goal and it is turned toward the found family. She will make sure to make the world a better place for her to return to. Isn't that some of the strongest push parents can experience ? The need to make the world better for their children ?

(*) In the books, Yennefer is incapacitated so it is logical that she is unable to find her. Here they will need to find a good explanation.

The arc of Yennefer circles and mirrors the one with Tissaia in a very emotional way. For a part, this is one the lesson she gave to Ciri and the one she took so long to understand. Without control, power is nothing. When you have control you can move mountains.

The first day in Aretusa, Yennefer tries to commit suicide because she feels that taking her own life is the only thing she can control. Tissaia tells her that doing so, she didn't have control, she was losing it. And the rectoress did the exact same thing at the end… (she lets go for other reasons though)

Ciri is at the core of the found family and she lost every one of her blood family. Emhyr is the last one and you can't say this is a nice perspective. Yet she doesn't know. Then she grew being afraid of her own heritage. Her bloodline is terrifying to her and makes her feel like a monster. And she is trying to make the best of it, expressing idealistic thoughts and wishes.

The found family is her last grip on feeling safe and having a life. She clings onto them with everything she has. She is so afraid to lose them too. And… it happens. Her mojo is to find them.

Hallucinating, in the desert she confronts her blood ancestors who push every button of her insecurities. When she relinquishes her powers, this is her last stand to protect her found family from herself. She doesn't want to be Falka and burn the world down and them with it.

But then when she kills for the first time, she loses herself. The importance of a life was one of the last of Geralt's lessons, but she succumbs to a penchant to like killing (see her face when she killed the echnea) buried deep inside, exactly like Falka. That's why she chooses to call herself after her.

For those who find this too easy, that she should be used to visions and not break. OK then, get in the same state of desperation, get lost in a desert for days, hallucinate and try to stay strong. Too long ? I thought she broke easily…

One of the things that was so touching, on the first part of that desert wandering, was how much she tapped into her found family teachings. Geralt and her witcher brothers for survival skills. Yennefer for magic. And Jaskier… for comfort.

So now Jaskier. He is a different kind of protector. We don't know much of his past in the series to know about his siblings and past traumas but the found family is everything to him. This season proves it even more blatantly. He chose Geralt as his family very early on but the real turn into a proper family member dynamic appears with Ciri. The fun uncle or even big brother.

From S2, we saw him develop a strong protector side to his personality. He is willing to help those in need. The elves. Yennefer… Also he kind of protects Geralt, even under torture. S3, within the found family he isn't the strongest member. The weakest we could say. But we see that protector side to him, in the fights for example. Helping the wounded to get to safety. Or pushing people out of the way (Valdo or the last fight with Geralt). Or even helping Radovid returning home after a heartbreak...

Ciri has the strongest protectors possible. Geralt and Yennefer. And they are teaching her their skills. She has enormous latent power. What can a simple bard do ?

Answer : he protects the last drop of childhood she has. He is the one she can be a normal child with. Playing games, even having fun of the parents (lessons of smiling, imitating them in the wood,...). He is a confort person that grounds her in her normality.

Being a comfort. This is what he does in the found family. For each member. But this is particularly moving to witness for that lost child. And hearing her sing the song he sings to her to help her sleep, trying to stay strong in the desert, tells how much he was important to her too.

The trio of Destiny isn't the only one that struggles between blood family and found family. We have other characters that are much defined by this dichotomy. Like Milva, Dara, Fringilla and Francesca.

For Milva, we just understand that her found family is the dryads, whatever happened to her and wants to forget. Dara has lost all his blood family because of one of Calanthe's army's raids. His found family is the elves led by Francesca, with whom he has a feeling of being with his kind again, until he understands the path she is taking will just send him in a very bad place. He is tired and tries to rebuild himself with the dryades.

Both of them highlight what is nursing inside of Geralt, for us to understand his last fight. Dara speaks about the hatred he carries and is going to destroy him if he doesn't stop. Milva makes him speak about Renfri and his neutrality paradox.

This is not a sign of erasing a character to make others speak in his presence and having some kind of defining moment. That character then reflects on the other, defining him by a mirroring effect. Sometimes in the same way, sometimes in the opposite direction. Heroes don't have to always say things out loud for that to exist in them. Maybe some thought that Dara and Milva were taking the spot. I did not.

Now for Fringilla and Francesca this is a bit more complex. And for them, they go down the other way around for a long time. Blood family first.

It begins with Fringilla whose uncle is a member of the Brotherhood. The magic school isn't much of a found family to her as she has an anchor there. After Yennefer switches kings with her, she ends up in Nilfgaard having a totally different life. She built strong links there and in a way she found guidance and purpose. While she tries to serve her emperor she meets the elves and makes a very strong friendship with Francesca. She begins to move forward and that alliance blossoms into something inspiring. Especially when she saves the elven bady.

But as soon as this baby is born, the loyalty of the elves shakes and what I believe was her kind of found family begins to drift away. Francesca says to her that she values their friendship but blood is more important. Fringilla will try to find the support of her uncle at some point but he refuses to help her.

This is when Fringilla becomes independent.

The rupture is particularly strongly displayed in S3 when she watches her uncle die without any feeling for him.

On the contrary, Francesca sticks by blood first at all coast, and she loses everyone brutally. Not that she is wrong or anything else to be that attached to her kind. This is just the way it turns out for her. And by the end of it, learning that Fringilla hid the real murderer of her baby, she ends up pushing her from her life, severing the last link of possible family outside her kind. She is alone with her vengeance burning inside of her. Pretty much like Dara described it. Pretty much like an old part elf woman who let the rage consume her… Mirrors again.

Vulnerabilities

Maybe the biggest character who shows vulnerabilities and is able to demonstrate love is Jaskier. This is the obvious one. And I will probably make a separate post analyzing him and Radovid this season, because the games of masks plays a big role in Jaskier defense mechanism. Let's just say for the sake of this f.cking review that this so empty relationship for the majority is there to help us understand how and when he hides his feelings, how he speaks of real love…

He is probably the most open character to emotions and shows us a lot, but, even he, tries to hide his wounds to the others. For others.

So emotional shock after another, we can assess the damages and how strong he is for those he loves.

His main weakness, if I can call it that way, is his biggest strength too. Empathy. Makes him feel too much. And his love for others (especially Geralt) plunges him in deep vulnerable emotional states. This season, this is still the case, and to a great extent too. Don't get fooled by his levity, jokes and smiles.

But let's take a look at our trio of Destiny.

Ciri is vulnerable and afraid at first but she learns to hide it more and more, until everything is unveiled during Thanedd and the desert. She is so damaged by her abandon issues and she is living her worst nightmare. When she hallucinates, all of her ancestors push her buttons, poking at this particular pain she holds.

Yennefer has many issues and she is a insecure person empowered with strong chaos. We saw her struggle to free herself from everyone wanting to control her in S1, and on top of that to have her powers back in S2. That internal urge to be the one deciding about her own destiny, to be able to have a choice.

She goes to great lengths for that. Too far. Yennefer gives Ciri two valuable lessons based on her experiences. One about control and power. The other about making choices and their consequences.

And one thing I appreciate and shows growth in her character is that she lets the one she loves see when she is vulnerable and talk about it. Ciri, Geralt, Tissaia. Even Jaskier in her own ways, since S2.

But one of the biggest growth in that field is Geralt. If I wished they included more of the book's vulnerabilities early on for him (about the fact that he believes that his mutant condition excludes him to be worth his own emotions), they didn't cut it all and he had other vulnerabilities and insecurities worth the growth.

He is emotionally constipated and has problems expressing his feelings. Not the hiding part, when he is like, I am a rock, I don't feel, but more when he has to communicate his feelings.

In S1, he tries and fails with Yennefer at the mountain. But he shows a great deal of emotions, at the expense of Jaskier though. In S2, to help Ciri he has to open up. And we find him having deep introspective moments with Vesemir. Likewise, he is a bit more open to Jaskier with whom he shares his fears.

But in S3, for the first time, he expresses his feelings and exposes his vulnerabilities to Yennefer and they connect deeply then. Also when he is wounded and healing, he is open raw for a moment.

After that he brings back his kind of neutral face, but the last fight is one of the moments he bleeds what's inside.

Also like in the books, they show that even a character that strong can be broken.

This failure brings a lot out of Geralt for the future. He wants to die because of it ! He refuses healing because he wanted to die ! The only thing that kept him alive was to have news of Ciri and Yennefer. When Jaskier finally arrives (days after) this is what he asks only. He just wants to go knowing that they are well. He clutches Jaskier's wrist because he is his last hope to have this news. He empathises with him as he struggles to deliver the informations (that subtle stroke) but he needs to know. This is a silent "please tell me Jaskier".

Then he chooses to accept the healing when he knows Ciri is still in danger. He won't rest until she is safe.

But I get that the consensus is right. Moaning in a bed. Boring as fuck. No depth in it either.

Loyalty and betrayal

Here again I could speak for days about Jaskier. His portrait should be in the dictionary next to the definition of loyalty. Even in his faux pas, he doesn't betray because his heart is in the right place. When Geralt confronts him trying to push him to Redania, they simply have an honest discussion about it.

I could speak about Yennefer's betrayal also, trying to sacrifice Ciri in S2. But I wanna highlight some secondary characters that have arcs around this.

The first one is Cahir. At the beginning of the series, he is the definition of loyalty to his leader. He has almost a religious faith (S2). But the mission given to him leads him on a path to lose that faith. In S3, he is trying to get back to a position where Emhyr valued him, and he goes to the point of killing a friend to get there. The broken mirror symbolizes that moment of shift.

(This part I could have put in vulnerabilities but I won't come back on the character sonI put it all there)

He is mirroring Ciri in his fears. She had nightmares about him. He has nightmares about her. When they face, they face their own fears. When Ciri cannot kill him he kind of pledged her allegiance, setting up his obsession to join de Hansa to save her (they may drop the weird attraction thankfully).

For him to work fully, we needed maybe one more scene between the Thanedd coup and fighting with Ciri. This is Emhyr's lie about Fringilla's death and her last little push, telling him to think by himself, that cut the last string attaching him to his emperor. But Cahir cannot live that way. What he has done is too much, he needs to be free from his guilt. Hence he asks Ciri to take his life as a price to pay for the sufferings he caused her.

But this is not how she thinks (yet) and vengeance is not her solution. Winning the fight was enough for her to overcome her fear about him. She won a silent battle.

Cahir needs redemption so he goes by the only way he knows. He devotes himself to her. This can seem blurry because he has very little screen time this season. But here we are.

Francesca is loyal to her blood kind, but trying to find a way for her species to survive she betrays some of them, losing progressively the faith people have in her. The last one to have an undefective trust in her is Filavendrel because they share the same pain, I guess.

The dramatic turn for her is that she has to sacrifice the squirrels in order to save the others. So she kind of betrays them all at that point.

Though one of her last biggest sad moments is when Fringilla tells her the truth about Emhyr. The last scene they have together is hard. All is not black and white though we can understand Francesca's deep emotion and feeling of betrayal. This is not fair for Fringilla and this settles the down path for the queen of elves.

In the secondary characters we could play all day with Dijkstra and Philippa in terms of loyalty and betrayal. The frontiers are so blurred between them two. Dijkstra is loyal to Redania to a sick extent. Philippa plays by her own rules to the point that it is unclear who she is loyal to.

But the last but not least big loyalty betrayal moment goes to Vilgefortz and Tissaia.

Technically Vilgefortz is loyal to no-one. But he played for so long with Tissaia… Their story is the evil side of what could have been Geralt and Yennefer's if Yennefer had been truly malevolent. Tissaia is echoing the deepest hurt in Geralt's heart and rewinding everything why Geralt took so long to forgive Yennefer.

(Tissaia was way more developed in the series than in the books to help building the emotions for what is lost and internal struggles for other characters)

Clinging onto the past and repeating history

That you liked it or not, despite being not lore accurate, BO has a lot of circleling and mirroring meta. Elves being the oppressors of dwarves, and humain becoming the oppressor of everyone less. Or the funny parallels between the couple Eile/Fall and Jaskier/Geralt.

The simple story of Merwyn is an example that repeats itself in history. Francesca being her mirror through the length of another elven legend.

The elven queen is one character that is very changed from the books and has a strange setup for later parts with the lodge. But she echoes some other characters, and stories. There was a symbol in S2 with the white rose that was a foreshadowing of what would happen to her as it echoed Sherraewedd of whom we learn the legend of in S3. The same way that elven warrior did, she is the one that may lead her kind of a new path of extinction, sacrificing the squirrels to Emhyr for a land for the rest of them… Cintra in place of Dol Blathanna.

And in the same way if Merwyn who had the well being of her people in mind she clings too long onto legends of the past. Willing to find a new home for them.

Btw, she is set up as a vengeresse willing to burn the world down as everything she loved was taken from her. Does she not remind you of someone who could now do the same for his found family ?

She is the circling history for a part of elven history.

For the human part, still connected to the elves though we have Falka whose story is set up in S2 and nourishes Stregobor hatred. That burning hatred is seen in many characters with the effect it has on them. Ciri relinquishing her powers in order to prevent falling in that pit too is a first step to break the cycle but what is waiting for her is a pit of darkness.

Also we have Istredd the historian that digs to unveil the mystery around the monolithes. Very quickly said in S3 but he knows about the book of Monoliths. Vilgefortz knows already about it and he is yet to unlock their power. That's why he made Istredd prisoner during the coup. That mystery is one of the key component to BO story and the Wild Hunt that is now leaking in our dimension.

And those monoliths were there before the elves came. Dwarves and gnomes venerated them.

I know people are mad about this but I think this is an easy visual anchor for the gates between realities. And if you read the books you know who can travel through dimensions… So yeah. We are circling again there with this.

And now the Thanedd coup is the shock that finally destroys the old system but nothing emerges except chaos and favors Emhyr's. The wipe of the Brotherhood is also a not too subtle nudge to women getting free from patriarchy. In this battle we see the oldest and the male fall one after another. And in this mayhem I have to admit I loved Stregobor last stand. Delightfully twisted and satisfying.

Now there is one final point because one member of the old system has survived a little bit longer…

Tissaia has a bunch of lost children under her care. Every one of them rejects the model she is trying to preserve. She believes in the fragile peace they have created and maintained with the Brotherhood.

Fringilla sees another way with Emhyr and believes in his goal for quite some time, until she has the chance to evolve by herself and she discovers the true face of the emperor.

Working with Dijkstra, Philippa sees the crack in the old system. And she sees the opportunity to take a new turn as it crumbles.

Yennefer doesn't care about the system. She wants to regain control over her life. And she opposes Tissaia on a personal level. But doing so she adds cracks into the walls. She reconnects with her mentor when she becomes a mother to Ciri, seeing finally the mother in her she always has been. Yennefer doesn't protect the old system, fighting by Tissaia's side, she is fighting for her.

The final push that lead Tissaia to commit suicide is Yennefer saying that she is their mother and that they need her. Her children don't need her anymore. She is just a relic of the past. Because they love her, they cling onto her. But they have to fly. We see her abandoning her severe mask and going soft, accepting to lose control. She cuts herself the last string that holds them to the old system. And the Lodge of the Sorceresses is that : a new power emerging from the ashes of the old one.

And there so many other little parallels that I wish I would speak about. Little pieces for us to dig and get the layers under those characters. I didn't even get into the political part. But I have to stop somewhere because I am too long...

OK but why pointing out that repeating history, the past parasitizing the present, all the time. We are going nowhere. Do you think ?

Nenneke said to Ciri that she could be the key to ending the circle of hatred and the young woman idealized it. She doesn't know how. But she wants to put an end to all this. Does she succeed ?

Well I guess that no-one cares now.

The circle of hatred had won on this side of the spheres so...

Empty, without soul, unnecessary, diversity garbage, unfaithful, no actor good enough except one… you are so many so it means you must be right. But still I love this show. I can't help it.

I hope someone would appreciate the effort of the underlying structure of my garbage. Circle and parallels...

#tws3 #i am sometimes passive agressive in there so be warn #critical #both good and bad #spoiler i love the show #if someone has the courage to read all this.... #(i wish it was not limited to 10 pictures) #my potato gifs #long post #review

[streets-in-paradise]

Waiting - Andy Barclay x Reader

Requested by Anon

" hey can you make a story about Andy Barclay getting jealous at someone because they’re flirting there S/O. Btw it can be fluff or whatever I am having you have that choice thank I love your content ❤️❤️❤️❤️"

Sure, anon! And thank you for your kindness <3

Warnings: No proofreading, Insecure Andy being reassured by his s/o in fluffy and flirty ways.

Summary: A hopeless time of watching him unsuccessfully date other persons in front of you preceded the beggining of your relationship with Andy and now you can't believe he is the one feeling jealous.

Tags: @losersclubisms

Too long you had watched in the shadow of his failures, waiting untill he would stop ignoring the fullness of the woods for a single tree. As a server in the restaurant were most of his disastrous dates took place you had a privileged spot to observe the regular downfalls, convinced that you have never meet anyone with such terrible luck for romance. What started as an empathy driven approach just trying to help him out quickly turned into something else and you found yourself trully Interested on him.

Andy was a sweet guy who just have been lonely for too long. Everytime one of his dates would leave him heartbroken you were there to pick up the pieces hoping he would catch your signs. Getting to a point where you could start dating required a lot of patience from you, virtue that you lost after the redhead fiasco leading to directly asking him out by yourself.

It took him a while to understand you actually wanted to be with him, since at first he was convinced you did it out of pity. His way of loving made you feel as if your relationship was the best thing happening in his life and he was constantly afraid of loosing you.

He was not the kind of man who would start a fight over jealousy, but you could tell whenever he would be swallowing those feelings pretending to be just fine.

The first time it happened you realized he was so not ready to deal with other people flirting with you. A silly confussion with a stranger at a bar ruined the whole moment for him. The actual episode wasn't even a big deal, since you politely declined and sneaked your hands on top of the back pocket of the pants of your silently angry boyfriend to send a passive agressive message making the stranger dissapear.

Andy felt your hands softly squeezing his butt and that at least managed to distract him a bit.

" Did you notice how shocked he was? That dude couldn't believe i'm with you. " He openly commented. " … Sometimes even I can't believe i'm with you. "

" After all I have been waiting for you? " You sweetly complained. " How many cute people did i see you with before you stopped drowning in self pity and noticed I wanted your attention all along? "

He didn't consider that before, probably because those dates had such terrible outcomes he couldn't imagine you caring for that.

" Did I make you jealous?" He asked while a soft shade of blush in his face made him look down for a brief instant. " Me?? How?"

" I saw you put your heart and soul into each one of those, trying so hard for things to work because you liked those persons. That amount of dedication had completely won me over even before we started dating. " You frankly admitted. " They may have been desperate to run away, but I was there watching and wanting so badly to be them. You didn't have an easy life, i could tell that, but you are a wonderfull man so sweet, thoughtfull and handsome. A bit weird, maybe, but still adorable. You wanted love and I was desperate for a shot to love you, but there was always someone else rejecting you that you cared more about. "

" I was a fool, i know. " He apologized, still in disbelief. " Let's say I was misguided by the advice of an old friend. "

" You were driving me insane and I was so jealous of your dates. I began to ask myself what else could I do to make you notice me. I almost changed my hair colour but a friend told me that going redhead would have been too much. "

The confession made him chuckle.

" I love you exactly as you are … and I'm feeling quite jealous."

Verbally expressing his feelings was hard for him, but he did it in the spirit of his surprise.

" You have no damn reason for it, because i'm going nowhere. " You reassured him, pulling him closer. " I'm here with you and there is no other one I could want to be with ríght now. "

He was a happy, awkward mess evidently affected by your words in all kinds of ways.

For so, you decided to carry on taking things a bit further.

" Once we get back to my place you are all mine." You whispered close to his ear. " I'm going to show you exactly how much I love you and how wild you drive me. "

The insidious thoughts temporally faded under such delightfull promise.

#chucky 2021 #cult of chucky #andy barclay #andy barclay x reader #alex vincent #alex vincent x reader

[moooooooonsblog]

MHA BOYS AS BOYFRIENDS PART 2

Headcannons - sfw - I'll to keep it gn but fem pronouns may be used

Characters: Eijro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari

Warnings: Stupidity and not proof-read

(part 2)

Eijro Kirishima

He made the first move

He asked you out the most cliche way possible but your heart melted anyways

He wrote you a love poem (with the help of the lord of darkness and shadows), bought you bouquet of your favorite flowers and a bunch of snacks

oh, and to complete the cliche, he confessed to you on valentines day... right in front of your dorm.... while the girls were having a sleepover in your room...

Safe to say everyone heard the news in less than 2 seconds and mina (dont we all love her?) got it all on video

"Y/n, I'm in love with you, can I be yours?"

"Mina! Play that part again!"

"Y/n... you've been listening to the recording for the past 2 hours"

Kirishima is the literal definition of boyfriend material

Oh? Your back aches? Time for a spy day for the literal angel that bless the earth!

You had a nightmare and texted him at 3 am? He'll be there in 10 secs with his hoodie for you to wear and a bunch of plushies

He trys to cook for you, it's so cute! He ended up burning half the kitchen whilst bakugou yelling curses,,, but hey! It's the thought that counts

He's all for that PDA: Holding hands, an arm around your waist, not so secretive pecks on your nose- he just loves giving you attention

Not exactly the jealous type because he knows you can handle yourself (since you're super manly and strong ofc)

But he won't hesitate to step in as soon as you need him to, giving the person a passive agressive smile and an excuse the get the hell away from them with you in hand

"We're such a manly couple! Nothing can beat us!"

Kirishima LOVES training and working out with you,, he doesn't mind taking you to the gym for a date

don't worry, he does take you on real, romantic dates

you both often go to the arcade, town festivals, and picnics

When his hair grows out and his roots start to show, he comes to you to re-dye and cut it for him

spy days and movie nights

He usually keeps his cool around you, but sometimes he turns into a mess when you something -particularly- provoking

"Pebble! Look here! I found a ladybug!"

"Oh my god! let's adopt it as our child!"

Denki Kaminari

he confessed first... on accident

He and the bakusquad were hanging out in the common room, playing super smash bros (the only thing he can beat bakugou in, but you didn't hear that from me) when he started going on a rant of how perfect and hot you are

oh but of course you were literally standing right behind him as he went on and onnnn

"Y/n, she's just perfect! I'd do anything to score her, I'd never flirt with another chick again! Just imagine how our wedding would be: super fancy and expensive and-"

"I would prefer an outdoor wedding, what do you think?"

"Oh yes yes, I ca- Wait! Y/n?? H-how long have you been standing there??"

He was so over the top when you both just got into the relationship: constantly texting you, showering you with gifts and affection, wanting to spend every sec with you

But once you've both become more comfortable- nothing has changed, and I mean, you aren't complaining at all

kaminari's so touchy-feely and clingly and love-y and you absolutely adore it

he basically begged bakugou to accept you in his little friend group

"Gimme all your love and attention y/nnnnn"

you both love to play minecraft, watch youtube vids and listen to music together

chill evenings with him >>>>

he's definitely more of himself around you, but also allows himself to share some of his personal problems with you

you guys talk about mental illness and comfort each other when having a bad day

all being said, you get to see a side of him that no one knew existed

he's defiantly the PDA kind of guy

He'll shamelessly fawn over you in public, grabbing onto your waist, nose and forehead kisses and constantly clingly on to you- he always makes sure that you're comfy with that tho!

He's for sure the jealous type

he'll hold to you any way he could, whether that's holding on to the hem of your sweater or locking pinkies, he wants to feel secured when you're talking to a sus stranger

but, when the person seems to get to personal...

"Hey there, stupid-face! I know my partner is super hot and is a literal angel, but she's taken! Shoo now!"

arcade dates, random parking lots, and fast food places and connivence stores at midnight

#mha #mha x reader #denki <3 #kirishima x y/n #kaminari x reader #kiri <3 #headcanons

[astroyongie]

Worst Empty Houses Placements

Note: I woke up today and chose violence, so there is in my opinion some of the worst empty houses placements ! Please keep in mind this is my personal opinion and please take it lightly <33 Empty houses show the shadow self, the bad that we have in us 

Warnings TW: I sometimes mention disorders, addictions and mental illness 

1st House in Gemini: Their lack of personality and identity is awful. Here the person doesn’t know who they are, what they like, who they want to be. They just go with the flow, attach themselves to the stereotypes and become very superficial with everything in their life. It’s like nothing about their character is truth or genuine

1st House in Cancer: They are energetic vampires and their own self hatred is quite scary. Due to that pessimism they have upon themselves they become mean and manipulative in order to feed themselves with others and feel happiness that doesn't belong to them

1st House in Leo: They will pretend to be nice people, they are convinced themselves that they are but honestly, all they care about is their own little person. Their ego is dimensional, and even if they do things for people, it’s all for the self credit. 

2nd House in Scorpio: People with this placement can easily develop mental disorders that are mostly agressive to themselves and other people. They are unstable and insecure about everything in their life. They unable to trust people, trust professionals, friends even their own family. 

3rd House in Aries: Not that they lack intelligence of course, but people with this placement are aggressive in all ways, there’s no way you can hope and expect a normal conversation with them. They outburst with the most small thing, become physically, verbally and emotionally violent and selfish. 

3rd House in Sagittarius: Pretty much like Aries, Sagittarius in 3rd empty houses is impulsive and not compassionate at all with things they cannot understand. And they won’t do anything to understand your point of view or to search. They are irresponsible. 

4th House in Aquarius: If you have a parent or a partner with this placement, I am really sorry because for me it’s one of the worst overly. People with this placement don’t care about you, about their family, about their relationships. They lack empathy with everything, and even if you cry in front of them, if you are truly hurt they will still find a way to blame you for your own feelings. They are just completely detached from any relationship

4th House in Leo: Again, the Leo energy makes them think only about themselves and have like a god complex where they become detached from people to focus only in them. They don’t care if they hurt you or if you are expecting things from them. They won’t hold themselves accountable. The world pretty much involve around them only. 

Any 6th house is technically bad as they show physical and mental illnesses

6th House in Taurus: Besides the high tendencies to develop disorders with foods in general, this placement is sickly jealous and possessif. They can become very suffocating for their partners and friends, toxic and violent if they hold grudges. They could kill to keep someone away from the ones they love. 

6th House in Virgo: Their compulsive addictions are huge, mostly organizing and having everything under their control and it can be unbarring for people around them. Same goes for their relationships, they have the tendency to control everything about their partner from the way they act and dress, to when they are leaving the house and with who. 

6th House in Libra: They are clingy and dependent of a certain person in their environment, one of the disorders that it makes me think Is the borderline disorder. In any case they are very co-dependent and they will need someone else to do everything for them as they can become passive-agressive if their co-dependant person doesn’t do what they need, or tries to get away from the toxic relationship 

6th House in Pisces: Despite their physical health rarely being touched, their mental state however is deeply touched. People with this placement can involve depressions, complicated mental health problems. They get very sensitive and dependent of the people they have around for their own emotional support. 

All 7th houses in fire signs, Pisces or Aquarius are prone to cheat 

7th House in Scorpio: No matter how much you try people with this placement will never fully love you, will never fully trust you, will never commit entirely to you. They don’t trust anyone, are prone to cheating, and will always find a way to destroy their relationships 

7th House in Libra: They will arrive in your life, take what they can take what you have. Drain you from your love and affection, self-serving themselves before leaving you or saying that they can’t be in a relationship. 

7th House in Capricorn: Just like Libra, they are explosive and they will take from you what they can for their own advantage, mostly for their professional life or their goals. Once they have what they want they will become insensitive and unable to commit to you anymore 

8th House in Aries: The type of person that will throw hands for anything, that enjoys violence way too much, that always seeks problems for nothing. They are pretty toxic and they have a little liking to see others suffer

8th House in Scorpio: They aren’t scared of dying, they are intense and complexity perturbed, putting themselves into situation where they can lose their life. All for the trill, all for the triggering, the adrenaline. They are also very self destructive, this placement shows huge troubles with addictions in general. 

8th House in Sagittarius: Like Aries, they are completely careless and despite not being agressive to others they are complexity crazy and they will do things that can cost their own life but they don’t take it seriously. Everything is a game and they don’t care either if other people are involved on their nasty and wicked games

11th House in Aquarius: “can’t keep friends” N°1, as they are honestly dicks to people, unable to match their energy, to be empathic, to understand friends. They get rebiloius and hate not to be right. People get easily fed up with them due to their chaotic life and personality 

11th House in Gemini: “can’t keep friends” N°2 because nothing is enough for them, they judge people too quickly and are too superficial to actually appreciate anyone. They are also terrible liars, enjoying the twist the truth for their own favor 

11th House in Capricorn: “can’t keep friends” N°3 cause no one is too good for them. They are so snobby, pretending to people they aren’t. They are also insensitive and they suck at giving advice or comforting people even in their head they think they doing the perfect job. They just don’t care about people really 

All of the 12th houses but specially these

12th House in Cancer: They manipulate their own truth, liking themselves into deep denials about life, about stress. Their coping mechanism are shit honestly, like I said they prefer using denial over everything. They are also pessimists and they give up easily on things when it gets too stressful or too hard to deal with. 

12th House in Virgo: They will cry themselves to sleep pretending that they have everything under control. They can’t accept that they have a problem, can’t accept that it’s normal to be human sometimes. They don’t accept help either and become very petty when in deep distress 

12th House in Scorpio: Like I said before they are self destructive, into addictions whenever things are too hard to cope with. This placement is so intense, they feel things too deeply and will have a hard time seeing light In the end of the tunnel 

12th House in Pisces: Cry babies yes, but they feel pain so intensely that they can feel their heart breaking. they take too much and even if they do victimize themselves a lot, their over-sensitiveness earns them jugement from others when in reality they need help 

#astrology #astrology facts #empty house #astrology empty house

[fiore-rosewood9]

♫FrUk :D

Thank you for the ask, I will send a few songs that remind me of fruk, a whole playlist if you may, not only one song. I also touch a few of triggering topics as I explain the nations's personalities and relationships with one another so I apologize in advance if I upset/trigger someone and will put my trigger here - Warning - mentions of abuse, alcoholism, s*exual trauma. Under the explanation there is a playlist of songs that make me think of Ukfr/Fruk, so if anyone gets upset you can feel free to skip my general headcanons about fruk/ukfr relationship dynamics. There are too many songs that make me think of different characters or ships but I collected the ones that make me think the most of them.

I know the original song is by Lady gaga but this version is too sweet and cheesy for me so I chose the rock cover by the group Halestorm since I prefer it, it sounds more genuine and rough and kinda makes me think of the dynamic that ukfr/fruk has, that some people present is as just the enemies to lovers trope or them just fighting which is.....simply unhealthy????? Fruk is much more than that and I wish people would stop seeing it as a two dimensional thing, yeah they do argue on a lot of things and it is not the healthiest dynamic however it does work in my mind because they stick through thin and thick and that requires effort and true love since a lot of people nowdays do not take time to know the other person, they just jump into marriage and have a few divorces and just argue over everything and then separate, fruk is an off and on thing where they break and make. This kind of dedication is hard to find in today's couples. I know they're fictional characters and no one really cares but I practice my psychology skills and my knowledge of people around me, and I sometimes see people with similar or almost the same characters as fictional characters, they may not have all of their hobbies but they do act the same way. And certain pairs, no offence, just make me want to gag my self due to history with bad and toxic fans but if I look at it subjectivly and never encountered mean fans from a certain ship, I would say that they ship simply doesn't work. No ship bashing but as far as I know, people with this kind of personality from this ship that I dislike, and get upset when seeing fan art of, simply just do not get along and had a hard time divorcing, it is not only unhealthy and unbalanced, it is downright abusive because both partners seek control and to have the upper hand and this is not...what romance is about???? It is about two people taking care of each other, understanding personal space and boundaries, lifting each other up and yeah, they will argue a lot, sometimes for small things, sometimes for bigger things, but generally the point of romantic relationships is not someone using you, or abusing you financially and generally being better or bigger than you. This breeds insecurity and jealousy in the other partner and makes them feel inadequate. Usually such problems are not talked over and one of the partners acts passive agressive which is what ultimaltly leads to said divorce. So yeah, people can go away with their (BUT IT IS CUTE, IT IS SO FUCKING CUTE) pairing because real life pairings and how humans communicate and develop friendships and relationships isn't based on what your mind conciders and doesn't concider cute and there are lots of factors on whether relationship will ever happen like common interests, type personality, etc and just block me so I will never hear from them and their childish mindset ever again, which is why I blocked certain tumbrl fan art hetalia accounts who produce art of a pairing I (dislike) lowkey hate, for historical reasons, for manga reasons, for toxic fans who bullied me and made me go on 3 hiatuses reason and ultimatly in real life experience and psychology and how humans and the human mind works and what is healthy and unhealthy reason. Why should I support something where certain people have been hateful towards me and these same people that act like these characters and I know in my life are on bad terms in real life? Why shouldn't I just move on to something more realistic and more healthy, that I have seen that works with humans I know first hand? I am not a clinical psychologist and I have no power or saying in this but I had to write thesis and read books by psycholgists and analyze them in high school and my first year of Uni, in order to pass the year and I have also read reccomended books by a psychologist I went to because I wanted an advice on how to deal with my anxiety and talking to people, because my condition is extremely severe but I honestly feel stuck and try to improve but also feel confused, I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough to

self improve as a human. I sometimes come off as too cold or overly bitter and angry without intending to, and it sucks.

Francis is a really manipulative person and Matthew picked up that from him while part of Alfred's agression doesn't only come from confidence in his own abilities but the fact that England him self is an overly agressive person and is very dominant or at least used to be for a very long time, now he is more mild to keep his gentleman persona but he does suffer from severe anger issues which he hides while Alfred is prone to breaking things and screaming, Arthur is more prone to being rude, sarcastic and generally mean before he loses it. Matthew and Francis do not engage in fight if they can avoid it which is why sometimes people call them cowardly I think? And Matthew is a bit prone to being a codependent people pleaser as far as I see and he seems to have severe anxiety issues. Francis albeit charismatic and beautiful, is deep down in his core lonely.

I think that part of his pervertedness, shocking people with his s*xual humour and all of this sex obsession comes from trauma in his childhood and dressing like a girl. I wouldn't explain what the trauma in question was since it is not canon but I do headcanon that he had s*xual trauma and it is partly why Hungary dressed like a guy. I don't know if this is legit, it is bias from reading too much japanese fan comics relating to hetalia or just general history of humans and how they treated consent and what is moral today, wasn't amoral or against the law a few centuries ago, but I have seen artists touch on it. I think both Arthur and Francis suffer from neglect and they weren't particularly good fathers, in fact no country is, the whole FACE family is dysfunctional and while I love all of them, I kinda pity them. I think Rome was a bit discriminatory mostly towards France and never towards his other children while Arthur had to constantly prove him self and was bullied by his brothers. While other nations have suffered from trauma too (I headcanon that Prussia was burnt on stake and people threw rocks at him due to his albinism and being left handed) something similar happened to Arthur, who I headcanon that he was burnt for being a witch and Francis went a few times through the guillotine, or Arthur still having a bullet scar on his arm from the American revolution or Francis having nightmares from that day where Jeanne was burnt and waking up in his own sweat. Arthur also must suffer from workholism and alcoholism, judging by how much he works and goes to pubs to drink. Everyone chooses their own poison and how to cope with life and many use unhealthy coping mechanisms, hell, even I used unhealthy coping mechanisms a lot in the past and I am not proud of them, in fact, I try to improve.

I can talk about their history and how it relates to their mental health and what scars they have for hours but I would bore you. You came for a song and I am probably boring you so I apologize for writting a lot of words, in advance. I basically think that fruk/ukfr is the ultimate ship for many reasons because they click, I do ship spuk/engita/asakiku and many other things but fruk/ukfr is kinda like butter and bread, it is a great combination. I never said it is 100 percent healthy, however their relationship makes psychological sense and their personalities click. I know people like to present arthur as this dumb tsundere man that blushes and says baka, or he is this garbage rat dad that no one likes or francis is presented or at least used to be this perverted sex machine that touched other countries inappropriatly or at least the 2012-2015 fans saw him this way and while he still has the reputation of a pervert, what many young people in the fandom see as disgusting, I just see as an overly lonely man that just happens to have high libido and copes with it by having casual sex and just has a sex humour, the same way some people have fart jokes humour or darker, more cursed humour, I am really glad that fans mostly left off this whole - Francis is a r**ist and will grope you, in the past, because honestly r**e is not joke and as a character he clearly understands consent and boundaries and I don't think someone like him would do such a thing. Also Greece and Turkey have even higher libido than him and sleep around more, yet he is the ''pervert'', I don't get it??????????? but fruk is just so much more than opposites attract, they have a lot in common so I can't say they're full opposites, no one is truly. I have heard people ask why does anyone ship fruk when it is just opposites attract/enemies to lovers trope and I am honestly confused, because that is extremely rough generalization to say the least, it is like saying - All men/women are the same, it is simply wrong/uncorrect. I think they ''married'' five times - The Treaty of Paris (1657) formed an alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French Alliance (1716–31) formed another alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French blockade of the Río de la Plata (1845-1850). The Anglo-French joint invasion of Qing Dynasty (1856–1860). And the last one which is their official marriage The Entente Cordiale (1904) fought together in both World Wars. As far as I remember Francis tried to marry Arthur but he refused and why he refused is up for subjective opinion but I must write a whole thesis on why Fruk/ukfr works so well and people are not here for that, they're here for the music and I will provide. I also always saw Francis as the more gentle and more submissive partner, I just love to see him drawn in frilly beautiful dresses with bows and stuff and Arthur as the more dominant, I mean as a country he was a powerhouse during the 1600s-1800s and used to be a punkrocker, usually rockers are mentally tough and that man is extremely cunning and witty so...people drawing him as this useless baka uwu overly feminine anorexic boy that looks more like a tween rather than a 23 year old guy just assasinated his character in my opinion and it disturbs me but I am just some awkward human on the internet and no one values my opinion anyway because this is the internet and many people nowdays love to have hot takes and try to gain followers through clickbait stuff which sometimes goes out of control and everything just seems more fake and shallow to me, the more old I get.Okay that was my silly rant no one asked about but I feel really passionate about hetalia and Fruk/Ukfr. Anyway, I apologize again for my long rant and going all over the place, please enjoy this playlist

PLAYLIST WITH SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF FRUK/UKFR

1 - Halestorm - Bad romance - rock cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4NJs3NBIU

2 - Queen - Somebody to love - lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj69iA_goIk

3 - ABBA - Voulez vous - (I know everyone chooses Waterloo and while waterloo is a fruk theme, I think Voulez vous works too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwcgMVXuBJc

4 - London beat - I've been thinking about you - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixBryyQSrD8

5 - Santana - Smooth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc

6 - George Michael - Careless whisper - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

7 - Robbie Williams - Feel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk

8 - Michael Buble - Feeling good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI

9 - Edith Piaf - La vie en rose - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzViYkZAz4

10 - Chopin - Marriage d'amour (Spring waltz) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJ7kDva7JE

11 - Vanessa Carlton - A thousand miles - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERw2LuU6Jj8

#fruk #ukfr #hetalia fruk #playlist #reminds me of fruk #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #trigger #trigger warning #mentions of abuse #rant #vent #fiore rosewood vents #axis powers hetalia #hetalia headcanons #personal headcanon #fiore rosewood headcanons #hetalia world twinkle #aph hetalia #hetalia 2021 #hws #aph #personal problems #psychology #fans #social anxiety #A lot of thoughts #head not empty #overthinking #ranting

[the-drifters]

(Thanks for the follow! But this is a different fandom blog and mostly are nsfw, and I just want to warn so to save you from anything uncomfortable and odd things, but I am quite open to anything.)

In the comics, uatu and strange are friends and interact sometimes especially if the world is in danger. Maybe writers are going for it but a little different. This strange does sound passive agressive especially towards uatu but subtle? Like he's still salty it seems.

Hhnng still don't want him to be a big bad. But it would be fun to see him in the multiverse of madness since it's been rumored to be horror and he seems to fit well? He's an eldritch horror.

(yeah it’s all fine and dandy, my asexual ass can handle it. I happen to be familiar with a lot of the other fandoms I’ve seen stuff on your blog for tol)

Yee, I’ve never read any of the comics myself but I am aware they do interact occasionally, and that would be a fair inspiration behind the two’s dynamic in the MCU. And yeah that’s kinda how I interpreted it as well, Strange Supreme still kinda salty toward Uatu. Though it’s probably just me, he came across as kinda worn and gloomy in general with his speech, which would kinda explain the whole sounding so passive aggressive thing as well.

And yesss I totally would love to see him in Multiverse of Madness

#asks #iamfruits-blog #what if…? #strange supreme #uatu the watcher

[sweetiejunie]

Don’t mind me

Summary: annoyed, you wanted to get back at him

Genre: smut

Yeonjun x reader

=====================================

There he went again, screaming and laughing into the mic at some of his friend while they played, what you now know to be labeled as, an fps game. Sometimes you felt bad for his mic, having no escape from the torture, but at the same time, neither did you.

His computer was located a mere wall away from your shared bedroom, in the echoey living room of your home. On nights where he wanted to stay up playing games, you would head to bed first, neither of you seemed to mind really. Eventually, someways throught the night, you would hear the door creak open and a pair of arms would wrap around you.

It was currently 4am when you had once again woke up to the noise of your boyfriend hysterically laughing and swearing at his teammates when ‘did something stupid’ as he would put it. You never understood what could possible get him so riled up about a game.

This wasn’t the first time yeonjun has woken you up with one of his antics. It’s happened many nights before but every time you tried to talk to him about it, he would apologise and immediately forget what you had just agreed on.

Tonight, however, you weren’t having it anymore. You decided to do something about it, something more than just using words or having a chat with him. You wanted to mess with him... i guess you could say you wanted to fuck with him, both literally and metaphorically.

Wearing an oversized tshirt that belonged to yeonjun, you stepped out of the bedroom. The moment you opened the door, his voice was even more amplified, the only barrier left between you and him now removed. As much as you loved him, you hated him for interrupting your sleep.

Entering the dark living room, you spotted him at his usual corner, next to the TV, facing the windows. You walked up behind him and placed your hands on his, so very broad, shoulders gently massaging them as you wanted to first make your presence known.

He was only dressed in a simple tank top and sweatpants, yet he still managed to pull it off, looking absolutely amazing.

“Oh hey love. Sorry, did i wake you?” He asked, muting his mic and removing his headphone. He tilted his head up to look at you.

His skin glowed a tint of blue as mixture of moonlight and light emulating from the monitor screen reflected off him. As ethereal as he may have looked at that moment, you had to remind yourself you supposed to be mad at him.

“No it’s alright. Dont mind me, continue your game, i just wanted to watch you play for a while,” you said, in a sort of passive agressive manner.

You didn’t want to tell yeonjun your actual motive for coming out here, and you highly doubted he wanted to know either.

Turning back to his game, he unmuted himself and spoke with his teammates again. You took this opportunity to begin placing kisses along his neck.

“Y/n what are you-”

“Shh,” you placed a finger on his lips. Holding back a smirk, you continued, “like i said, dont mind me and continue your game. I’d like to play a game of my own, and the only rule is that you’re not allowed to mute yourself anymore.”

He looked at you in confusion. ‘Yeonjun where are you?’ You heard one of his teammates ask through his headsets.

“Your friends are looking for you babe, it’s rude to keep them waiting,” you said with a pout, showing yeonjun you were ‘innocent’.

Having no choice, he put on his headphones and returned his attention to the game. “Yeah I’m here, sorry. I just got a little distracted by something.”

You continued your actions, littering kisses along his neck, jawline and anywhere else you could reach from that angle. You smirked as you heard yeonjun try to swallow a lump that had formed in his throat.

Moving one side of his headset to the back of his ear, you leaned in. “Gosh babe, you look so hot in tank tops, you should wear them more often,” you said breathily, just loud enough for him to hear, making sure his mic couldn’t.

Running your hands up and down his bare biceps, you laughed as yeonjun pressed his lips together, afraid of replying you, afraid of what the mic would pick up.

Grabbing one of his hands, you lifted his arm up and slid between him and the table, straddling him. You placed his hand back where you picked it up and rested your arms on his shoulders. You watched as his actions froze, both in real life and in game.

“You better keep playing before they start getting suspicious,” you warned, looking at him with your doe eyes.

Unable to process what was going on, yeonjun didnt dare move.

“I said keep playing babe, don’t pay any attention to me.”

‘Yeonjun! Quick we need back up! Where are you!’ Hearing his teammates voice, immediately, yeonjun woke up from his dazed stated.

“I’m- I’m on my way!” He hesitantly replied them.

You gave him a look of approval as he tried his hardest not to be bothered by your actions. Seeing him struggle to keep his composure amused you. He continued talking to his teammates, attempting to sound like his normal self. I would tell you what he was saying but honestly, you didn’t really care about that.

You continued placing kisses on his neck, gently sucking on the skin, leaving subtle marks as you made your way down. Arms tighly wrapped around the back of his neck, you felt as he started to poke your inner tigh. You took this as an indication to start grinding on him.

Not wanting to block his view of the screen, you lifted your head just enough to see his expression. Pleased when you noticed how hard he was fighting back a groan as he grew harder underneath you.

You stripped yourself of his shirt. And lucky for him, or maybe not so lucky in this case, that left you in a pair of lace lingerie you had put on, knowing it was his favourite.

“You know, you don’t have to hold back. You could always just let your dear friends know how you’re getting laid right now,” you whispered into his ear.

Yeonjun swallowed hard, keeping his mouth shut as he felt your breath tickling his ear. He wanted to touch you so badly, but he could take his hands off the keyboard, not wanting to get killed.

Determined to get that groan out of him, you hands wondered down to your own core as you touched yourself through your panties. You continued, “fuck babe, i just want you in me so badly.”

You played with your clit and let out a whine. You knew how much yeonjun hated you touching yourself. You didn’t need to now that you had him. Yeonjun’s pupils were blown up with lust as he watched your little act.

“I’m so wet for you, i just want to ride you right now. You’ll be quiet for me right? Unless, of couse, you want them to hear,” grinning, head resting on his shoulder as your hands moved underneath his shirt. You pushed yourself down against him harder, adding the preasure you both so desired.

He chocked on nothing, contemplating his choices, hesistant to make a decision. Of couse, he did want to fuck you, but he didn’t want his teammates to know what was going on either.

You noticed his hesitation and decided to answer for him. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you. As long as you dont make too much noise, you won’t embarasse youself in front if your teammates.”

You pulled his pants and boxer down, just enough for his member spring free from its confines. You pumped him a few times, loving the sight as precum leaked from the tip. Spreading it down his shaft, using it as lubrication, you stood up slightly, pushing your panties to the side as you slowly sat down on him.

You let out a content sigh as he filled you to the brim, and yeonjun only wished he could do the same. You laughed slightly as you noticed how he started to respond his teammates with one word answers instead, his mind probably a mess of thoughts.

“You feel so good, you fill me up so good yeonjun,” you said as you started to move your hips on his cock. Using him however you pleased.

You threw your head back, letting out a moan, feeling him twitched inside you as he bite his lip so hard he could almost draw blood.

“Fuck junnie, I’m cumming,” you said, hands on his shoulder for support as you rode out your high.

By this point, yeonjun was in so much ecstasy he didn’t care about the game anymore, the screen just became one big blur to him as he ignored all the complaints he was hearing through the voice chat. Just as he was about to reach his own high, you stopped.

You stood up, getting off him and retrieving his tshirt off the ground. Giving him a wink as you made your way back to the bedroom, closing the door behind you. Leaving a very confused, and frustrated, yeonjun behind, wondering what on earth just happened.

You knew what was going to happen afterwards. Yeonjun hated being teased, and even more so, being left with blue balls. Most people would be a little more worried in this situation, but not you, you loved a rough and frustrated yeonjun.

You sat on your bed, legs crossed as you heard footsteps approach the bedroom. And well, you can guess what happened next.

.

.

.

=====================================

Am not turning into a smut blog but ill just write whatever i feel like writing at the time. And a little smut never hurt anyone right 😉 still not good at writing these sorts of things but I’m working on it!

Masterlist

#choi yeonjun #txt #txt yeonjun #txt writing #txt ff #txt fanfic #txt au #txt imagines #txt post #txt smut #txt scenarios #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun au #yeonjun ff #yeonjun smut

[shingia]

hi! I would like to request a matchup with one of the haikyuu boys please :D some things about me:

- female, istp-t, gemini (but definitely not a "social butterfly" ._.)

- um idk if appearance will make matching me easier but I'm 5'6", have long, straight brown hair, brown eyes, I have terrible vision so I wear glasses (and I'm pretty sure I look dead without them sksjs), and I'm not ~in shape~ so I'm kinda (very) insecure about my appearance. but it is what it is so I try not to think about it too much :') also my mom once said I have rbf so there's that

- hm for personality... I've been told that I act like a cat 😂 I think I usually treat people the way they treat me, if not in a more reserved way. if someone is being rude, I will not hesitate to passive-agressively call them out and insult them (I am a verbal fighter lmao). I have a lot of friendly acquaintances with whom I'm nice and joke around with, but with my few friends I can be extremely sarcastic and very much the mom friend. it takes forever for me to open up emotionally bc I am a master at bottling up my feelings ✌I can also be very stubborn, defensive, and sensitive, if someone says something hurtful to me I will immediately withdraw and will definitely overthink it

- some things I enjoy are: cooking/baking, listening to music (especially 80s music!), arts and crafts, reading, crime/mystery/thriller media, and driving on the freeway during sunset and at night (while listening to music of course) also I seem to enjoy waiting till the last minute to do everything (but I'm a pro procrastinater so it always works out 😎 except for my ap calculus class yikes hopefully I can get an A this semester)

- my love language is probably physical touch, but I'm honestly a bit of a tsundere and currently touch-starved so yeah >_> also I hate to admit it but I'm easily flustered, so if someone were to flirt with me by teasing and whatnot I would definitely blush (aghh that's embarrassing) and think about for forever

- if I were to be in a relationship it would be for the long-term, I do not find flings to be appealing. but I'm also lowkey afraid of heartbreak so... yeah o_o

haha I hope I didn't say too much 😅 I just found your blog and I have to tell you that it is so pretty!! the way you format your posts, the fonts, the titles, your writing... everything's just amazing! thank you so much for taking the time to do this matchup, I hope you're doing well and hopefully have some fun writing! please don't feel obligated to do this request if you don't feel up to it though!

🖤 a/n : awww that’s so nice of you tysm !! 🥺🥺 hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself ! (good luck for your calculus class btw!) 

i ship you with…

𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 ! (lucky girl)

• first of all : GLASSES COUPLE HELL YEAH

• since akaashi’s rbf game is pretty strong as well, you two would look unstoppable together

• the whole fandom probably agrees on the fact that akaashi wouldn’t give a flying fuck about appearance, so don’t stress yourself beacause as long as he loves your personality, he’ll love the way you look. and i know for a fact that he would love your personality. so yeah obviously praise is a huge yes - he’d always find ways to comfort you if you feel insecure

• i think he would even look up to you on some points, like « treat people the way they treat you » for example. i feel like he’d probably try to apply this to himself as a way to be more assertive maybe? just a thought

• and he would respect you SO MUCH for standing up for yourself and not take shit from people/call them out

• he might try to warn the person if he feels like they’re on a slippery slope, but quite honestly, i don’t think he would try to hold you back from insulting them lmao

• because i genuinely think that sometimes akaashi just likes to sit back and enjoy the chaos

• he definitely knows a lot about sarcasm so i think this would be your main form of teasing if there was to be one. he’d never risk to upset you or make you feel uncomfortable by saying something that’s plain hurtful, even as a joke

• and he would 100% understand your struggles with overthinking/bottling up your feelings so i’m sure he’d be very patient with them. so don’t feel bad about taking your time to open up, there absolutely no rush !

• i think akaashi would be v interested in literally all of your hobbies, but the fact that you like to read is definitely what makes him the most happy <3

• he’d be so ecstatic to lend you some of his books and read some of yours, that’s probably one of his favorite ways of bonding

• and oH GOD driving on a freeway at night with akaashi keiji ? absolute dream. + i’m sure he has immaculate taste in music, his playlists always fit the mood

• if your love language is physical touch then i only have one thing to ask of you : 👏🏼hold👏🏼his👏🏼hands👏🏼

• it’s alright if it makes you flustered, he’ll probably be blushing 100x more than you anyways

• bottom line : if you’re looking for a long and steady relationship, then he’s most definitely the one for you. my dude is not joking about these things 😌

<33

#matchups are closed rn :( #[matchups]🧩

[misinformedgenic]

The last post on this god awful blog

Hello, I ask everyone who see’s this to unfollow this blog, if you are following me. I can’t look at the reblogs and posts I posted anymore, without feeling incredibly embarassed and I know that I am being aggressive to the people who gave me notes but you know what I don’t care.

(Overall trigger warning: trauma,syscourse,swearing and apologies.)

My message for those who are anti-endogenic:

(tw: abelism,mental ilness)

The truth is, whether all systems are formed by trauma or some can be born that way or it can be formed by something else, it really doesn’t matter. All endogenic systems are just trying to exist and communicate their experiences, and instead of listening and supporting those who might experience their plurality differently from you, you just villanize them and insult them and do the exact same thing that neurotypicals have been doing to us for YEARS. Calling us fake, saying we are trying to get attention, saying we should be ashamed of ourselves for “appropriaiting” from people who had a more severe form of an illness or was priveliged enough to get a diagnosis . If you are traumagenic and you haven’t had that kind of experience, I genuinely envy you. That shit was done to me and it really hurt me. People called me attention seeking for saying I was depressed,or had social anxiety or that I was transgender, or that I was traumatised or plural when all I was trying to do was be myself openly and to accept myself. Why is it that when someone who experiences some sort of plurality and they don’t feel comfortable assosciating their system with trauma, you jump straight to accusing them of something as awful as FAKING or BEING A THIEF!

And yes I know being endogenic means it’s not an illness, but being called a fake for expressing who you truly are when you’ve been forced to hide who you are is such a awful experience. How could you be so callous and careless to even risk that happening to someone else, even once more, in this cruel world. Even if every single endogenic system, who says I can’t help being a plural, was trauma genic, they still associate themselves with that word, endogenic. When you say something horrible about endogenic systems, you are doing so much damage to those people. I mean, to assume without a shadow of a doubt that every single “veritable” endogenic system is actually traumagenic with the limited amount of understanding of DID/OSDD IN ITSELF, as opposed to how this phenomenon could work outside of a disordered framework, really shows you have your head far up your ass. But even then, it doesn’t matter because whether they ended up being traumagenic or not, according to science, no one deserves that treatment.

Even then,in regards to the post on this blog that got the most notes, we need to understand that people with plurality are forced to label their pluraility as a symptom of a disorder. Many systems who needed psychiatry and systems who didn’t and just masked themselves mingled, and they shared terms. This is still happening today, more then ever.

(Just in case you want to know, fictive is not a term used in psychology or psychiatry. It literally came from the soul bonding community, and people who are anti endogenic are still using it. If you don’t believe me use a web browser, and provide some sources to prove otherwise. I didn’t know this, and I’m not going to tag the OP who told me this,because I’m not sure whether they want to be tagged, but thank you. I felt pretty humiliated but it helped to come to realize what I was doing was wrong and that my opinions were wrong, and it helped me to become a kinder and more understanding individual.)

And we need to understand that systems shouldn’t be forced to be involved in exploring their plurality through a lense of trauma, because for many it doesn’t make sense because thats not how they experience it. Even if it is repressed memories ,sometimes or always, systems need a space to be systems without talking about trauma or applying trauma to it. DID and OSDD spaces are not providing that and in those spaces trauma is going to be talked about. Systems shouldn’t have to force themselves to think about trauma and go through pain, just to be able to call themselves a plural and have people acknowledge and accept them.

My message for any endogenic systems and their supporters:

I apologize for everything that you had to go through, from me and my behaviour. My behaviour was terrible and none of you deserved it at all. You deserve so much more than what you get from the anti-endogenic crowd, and you are absolutely valid, and I hope that in the future things will be easier all of you. You deserve love, acceptance and support, and I hope that nobody will ever be able to take that reality from you. You are doing nothing wrong by just being a plural, and it’s really sad that people were and still are fighting about this. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.��

Conclusion:

(tw: s***** abuse,ableism,self hatred)

I know I was guilty of what I criticized, and that is really embarassing, but I’m glad I realize that now. I admit I was angry because I was jealous and bitter and I didn’t understand the history properly around this community or how it formed. I went through a lot of online g******g and s***al abuse and my experience with being a system was horrible, I had to deal with alters who had horrible del****ns and wanted to incite gruesome s*** h*** and wanted to k*** me. My system has introjects of my a****rs and random men I see on the streets making pe****ted comments at me pretty much all the time, and I was really jealous of systems who could experience the joys of being a system while avoiding the horrible parts. It made me feel worthless and inferior, because all the interesting and fun parts of being a system could be paraded on TikTok or whether and displayed by people who weren’t f***ed *p and dis*****ng like I was. I am not saying that’s the only basis as to why anti-endogenics hold their opinions, but I am saying this because if you ever see those anti-endogenic posts of mine somewhere and I am very passive agressive or vicious, that’s where it comes from and it isn’t objective or fair.

end of abuse trigger warning.

I decided that I am going to delete all the mean comments I made on other people’s posts that didn’t get any response, so that not another person has to see it again, and for which did get a response I am going to apologize to all those I harmed. If you want to respond to my argument, I can’t stop you from reblogging and making a comment, and that’s your freedom on this website, but I am not going to be replying because discourse on here is so nasty and I’m just done with that. I would rather help contribute to a community of people who feel isolated and who will be empowered by building a culture around plurality, whether that be around trauma or not. I’m tired of focusing on my trauma, it’s in the past and I don’t give a shit about it. It just sucks and I hate it and I am done with it. I will need therapy for it of course,yadi ya, but in terms of my limited free time on this earth I would rather contribute to making people feel happy and supported then argue and be angry about something that is kind of pointless anyway.

So bye, I would like to make a normal system blog in the future and we’ll be using the same names but for now I need to shut the fuck up and reflect. 

- Luca

Also hey, on a additional note, my name is Milo and I allowed my name to be associated with this blog and it was irresponsible and unkind for me to do promote this kind of thinking. I am really sorry for any harm I caused by being a part of this blog. Additionally Stanley understands that his post on pride flags was inaccurate and he made some very nasty comments/did some nasty stuff to, he is very sorry to all those he harmed with his previous posts. He is in a really bad situation at the moment, which has gotten worse over time, he is a trauma holder and he is in a lot of emotional turmoil,so neither me or Luca wanted him to be involved in writing this specific post, but that doesn’t mean what he did was okay and all three of us recognize this now.

Best regards,

Milo.

[traumawings]

fighting with my mom, again.

probably won’t be the last time either. i can clearly tell she’s got a lot to say about this but she’s being passive-agressive just to hurt me a little extra. anyway this is a super long post, you’ve been warned.

so i wanted to like,, talk to my mom about moving out. she made a comment about the dishwasher and i responded "hah, i won't really have to deal with that anymore when i get out of here" (i'll admit, it was too late for a conversation like that and i could've been more tactful. idk i just thought i was being funny) and i don't even know how anymore, but at some point we were fighting about it.

and it may sound stupid, but i think that this fight with my mom, was actually just what i needed. it made me realize once again, just how much my mom isn't there for me and how much my friends are and most importantly, how much i can be there for myself too. because now, i can reassure myself again, that i am making the right choice by moving out. i am choosing what is best for ME and me only.

i mean, any other mom would support her daughter. sure they'd be sad to their daughter go, but they'd be comforted by the idea, that their daughter is finally starting to take steps towards possible recovery. instead, my mom just gets all cynical huffy and goes "i always did everything i could!!! i was always there for you!!" no the fuck you weren't and you know goddamn well that you weren't. that's why you're getting so defensive because if you just convince yourself hard enough that you always did everything right, you won't have to acknowledge the fact that you're actually one of the causes of your daughter's crippling mental health issues. god forbid that you feel guilty for hurting me so much, to the point where i have lost any sense of autonomy.

were you ashamed because S was sitting right there? are you afraid that people will see the REAL you? good. you fucking should be. you should be deeply ashamed of the things you've done to me, how much you’ve made me cry, especially these past few weeks. gaslighting me into fucking oblivion. i'm still doubting my own memories. i still ask myself, if i'm not the one who's truly abusive here. did i do enough? did i please you enough? i feel like i'm a fucking puppet and you're the puppeteer.

and of course, you don't know how i'm doing, REALLY doing. you don't want to know either, because deep down, you know i'm doing horribly, partially because of you. but it's easier to deny it. it's easier to deny that the things you say, make my heart sink and utterly destroy the tiny bit of happiness i was feeling at that moment. it's easier to deny that the only person who can make me sob like a child, is you.

i still haven't gotten over our last fight, y'know? i still haven't gotten over what you said to me. just thinking of it, makes me tear up and makes a lump form in my throat. "oh come on, you know that didn't really happen". i'm scared. what if you're right? what if i did make everything up? what if i read into things too much? you make me doubt myself more than anyone could. you ruined me just as much as dad, if not more.

and you constantly say that i'm "trying to control your life", just because i dont like it that you're constantly leaving to go see dad. your life? is that your whole fucking life? how pathetic. besides, who's the truly controlling one here? i'm not even allowed to look at you anymore, apparently, because my eyes are "cold" and make you feel like "you should just die". well gee mom, now you know what it's like, to feel so deeply hated by the person, who says they love you the most.

you're right, we can't fix this. but if you've known that for years, why did you never do anything about it? it's easy, to make your daughter into your fucking therapist, isn't it? it's easy to keep running away from the fact that you. need. some. goddamn. help, because you're suffocating me. i feel like i can't fucking breathe around you. and back at home, i didn't realize this. i always thought it was just dad who made me feel like that. sure, i still felt trapped when he wasn't there and i was alone with you, but i didn't even realize it anymore because i had grown so used to it, i thought it was just the after-effect of his awful fucking presence. but it's you too, mom. you drain me.

i just wish you truly cared sometimes. i just wish you would try to understand. i wish you'd hug me sometimes and tell me it's okay. it's okay to feel, it's okay to just be. i wish you'd acknowledge that you've hurt me and genuinely apologize and would actively work to better yourself. i wish you wouldn't tell me to "calm down" when i'm being hyper because i'm finally excited about something again. i wish you wouldn't act like i'm too much for you. i wish i was enough. i wish i could believe that you love me. but i don't think you, or dad love me. i don't think my parents love me. and how it fucking hurts, that they don't.

and i actually wanted to try to go to sleep on time today. fuck you for ruining that, too. i'm crying now.  

(sorry, this post is an absolute trainwreck. i just tried to write down as much as i could before i’d forget this feeling and the things she said.)

#putting tags later

[somuchbetterthanthat]

3, Timmartin, please?

I’m not sure I can do Tim/Martin justice, and I guess I am fairly unable to stray too far away from martin/jon? But I hope you enjoy this little piece, i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wished for. Trigger warning for suicide talk.

“Shut up!” exclaimed Martin, suddenly. “Just, just shut up!”

Tim blinked, honestly startled out of his bad mood for a second; there was something to say about Martin of all people glaring at you angrily - or was it disappointment? It seems far more his alley. Martin got petty, and passive-agressive sometimes, but genuine anger was rare enough that Tim tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, guiltily ready to see just how far this would go.

It’d been - well it’d been a while, since anybody had bothered with anger, with him. These days, Jon tiptoed around him like a martyr - or maybe like Tim was a martyr, he couldn’t decide which one was the worst - and Basira and Melanie just carefully avoided him. Only Martin sticked around. Of course Martin sticked around, trying to be kind and cheerful, which Tim couldn’t deal with either. 

“Something you’d like to add to my monologue?” he drawled.

“You know what? Yeah!” Martin said, fists curled. “You’re just! You’re just going on and on and on about - about vengeance and hurting and how ‘nobody will miss you anyway’ and that’s - that’s wrong and stupid and you’re, you’re stupid! You’re being stupid, and if, if you’re just going to remind us all all the time that you’d rather be dead than anywhere near us then you could just shut up!”

“If i’m not being cheery enough for you, you can still go hang out with Mr Sunshine over at his office,” Tim pointed out, and then, with a perverse sense of joy at being cruel, he added: “Oh, wait, he’s not there, is he? Again.” 

“Oh for - this isn’t about Jon,” Martin exclaimed exasperatedly. 

“Suure,” Tim said, crossing his arms on his chest. “Never is, with you, or wait - yeah, it is. Jon needs that, and Jon needs this, and Jon’s away and it’s sad but, oh no, Jon’s been kidnapped, again, and we didn’t do anything about it -”

“This. isn’t. about. Jon.” Martin repeated between gritted teeth. “I’m talking to you. About you. Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief around here, my whole life does not revolve around Jonathan Sims all the time! And I would appreciate it if for once, for one small moment, you got your head out of your ass and realized that I’m trying to be there for you. ”

Tim bristled. He wished Martin would let him be; he wished - it was easier, to think that Martin was angry at him because he was turning into an asshole, rather than to admit that, maybe, he was angry because he was worried. He didn’t want Martin to worry; Martin was not made for worrying, he was made for - puppies and flowers and gentleness, and that was why his crush on Jon was infuriating, and that was why him coming to Tim, every day, trying to talk to him and make him do things and make him enjoy life - ha! what life? - was even more tiring than everything else. 

“Yeah,” he said. “You really shouldn’t bother.”

“I can’t choose that, can I?” Martin snapped. 

“Yeah, you can,” Tim said. “Look at me, cheerfully not caring! God’s sake Martin, be a little selfish, just for once. Just pretend I’m not here, go your merry way! I’m not worth the bother so just - don’t.”

“Again with the -! I can’t!” Martin said. “I can’t just ignore you! You’re here, and you’re miserable, and you’re, you’re basically planning to kill yourself! Obviously I’m not going to stop bothering -”

“Why?” Tim asked at last. “We’re barely friends, coworkers is just a fancy word to say we’re prisoners of this place together, so, why, Martin -”

“Because I love you!” Martin cut him off, as loud as a yell, and then flushed bright red immediately, his head retreating into his shoulders. “I, I mean I care about you, and you may not think we’re friends but I don’t care, I -”

His voice faltered; he looked embarassed now, and Tim slowly got over the shock of his words, heart pouding furiously in his chest. That - 

“You love Jon,” he said, after a beat. It wasn’t even to be mean. It was a fact. The Institute was evil, Jonathan Sims sucked, and Martin was in love with him. 

“I told you, this isn’t about Jon,” Martin muttered. “And, and so what? It doesn’t - i mean that doesn’t stop me from - you just. You just keep saying, that nobody will miss you, and you’ve got your parents, and you’ve got - I know I’m not much of anything, alright? I know that. But I’m here, I would miss you. Because, because you’re great, when you’re not being an arse, and. And I love you! I love you. There.”

He raised defiant eyes towards Tim, and Tim’s flickered to the door before coming back to him. He studied Martin for a while and didn’t know when he started moving towards him, or when he put his hands on Martin’s collar. But he watched Martin’s eyes flutter with shock and hesitation, and he heard him say, more softly, maybe even hopefully “Tim?”

And when he kissed him, he tried to be as soft as he could, because Martin - Martin deserved puppies and flowers and gentleness. Martin gasped into his mouth, and leant further, eager, and Tim indulged him as much as he was indulging himself; how long has it been? he thought. How long since he had kissed anyone? Tim loved kissing. And passed the first beat of surprise, Martin was pretty good at it, too; his hands came to rest gently on Tim’s hips, and Tim’s fingers moved to pass through Martin’s hair. Martin shuddered against him, and Tim felt like crying, hollow and complete all at once. 

He moved away with one last peck, hand lingering on Martin’s cheek.

“You’re too good,” he said at last, low but as kind as he could manage. “You’re a better person that I’ll ever be, Martin. You deserve better. You deserve better than me, and you deserve better than him.”

“Tim,” Martin said, his voice too soft and pleading. 

“Thank you,” Tim said. “For caring enough to be angry.”

“Tim, wait -”

Tim turned around and left the room without looking at him. He gave Jon a levelled look in the corridor. 

“Thought you weren’t supposed to be in, today.”

“I -” Jon looked as hollow as Tim felt, except with more guilt. “I just - needed some more files. Before leaving.”

“Right. Well, have fun, boss.”

“Tim -”

“You should move along before Martin feels good enough to leave this room,” he said, tired more than harsh. “I don’t think he’ll want to see you right now.”

Jon looked hesitant, and a bit flushed; he opened his mouth, eyes darting towards the room, and then he sighed. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Course I am.” said Tim, and neither of them mentionned the fact they wished he wasn’t.

#the magnus archives #this hit close to home ha. #also this is sad #also i guess i can't stop being a jonmartin gal so i'm really really sorry #if that helps i'm totally here for jon/martin/tim tbqh #anyway #sorry #tma stories

[protezioni]

"stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and he’s a coward. and i am NOT a coward!" for Maemi/Zuro and "yes, she is a bitch. b i c t … h." for Shima/Ko :3

Yes of course! Thank you for sending this ask and I enjoyed writing it a ton omg Love you!

STAN ZETA @zetacomic !! SOME CHARACTERS THAT WERE SEEN IN THE STORY BELONGS TO THE CREATOR SUCH AS MAEMI AND SHIMA!!!

Zuro/Maemi

Day count of suffering? Still the same. The amount of suffering he feels every day? Increased. Yes, sure- the Protezioni were somewhat like new siblings to them, but he cannot ignore the fact that they could sometimes be as annoying as some other members of Zygos. A lot of the Protezioni members may have been welcoming, and some even encouraged to be close to them--- but as months passed by, he only got to notice how some other members masked their more ridiculous side through acting like such. Well, what was to be expected from them? They may have been in the mafia, but they were certainly like normal people... They acted like a bunch of students who were glad there were no classes tomorrow...

I mean, they even had this movie night where they invited the entirety of Zygos Academy! Where? In their living room! It was easy to tell their place was bigger than the academy... Maybe even too big. Sure, whatever. Everyone was down to watch movies together... But of course, one of the more loud and obnoxious members had to bring something up- Which he, of course, did not expect. Disappointed but not surprised? Absolutely. That was a good summary of how he felt at this exact same moment when someone decided to bring up an inaccurate comparison between him and... a character from the movie. A children's movie. About a chicken discovering aliens existed. How pathetic was that?! Who in their right mind would compare him to that character?!

Maemi was staring at Zuro who was leaning on the couch, with a bowl of Doritos. He munched on the chips as he continued to look at Maemi in the eye. Once he swallowed, he coughed to capture some people's attention. "You sure you aren't Chicken Little?" He wasn't satisfied with Maemi's squinting as an answer, so he only repeated the question. "Chicken Little ain't that bad, Maemi!" Is he seriously trying to tell him that it wasn't bad at all? I mean... who the hell gets compared to a weak chicken who can hardly do shit at first? "You see, there are pros in being that little chick! He's got some cool-looking glasses!"

Maemi sighed, his heads in his hands... Wasn't this supposed to be movie night? Why were they just sitting down in the living room and making theories about how he is just a black feathered Chicken Little who somehow got red eyes? "This whole thing is dumb." Maemi rolled his eyes, refusing to sit beside Zuro who only patted the empty space beside him. "No thank you. I'll rather not stay beside you and be teased during the whole movie." It wasn't that hard to figure out that he would actually do that if he were to sit beside him. There was just a smirk written all over his face once he rejected his offer... What does that mean? "What are you smirking at?"

"Wanna know?"

"I'm curious."

Zuro handed the bowl to Sepheir, who was sitting beside him for the whole time. He cleared his throat for a moment before gesturing to Maemi. "You look like Chicken Little." That was all he said. Nothing less, nothing more. He sighed louder and tugged on his longer bang in annoyance. They were right. This man was someone who always joked around, and he was a little shit. He had enough proof of that as spent a longer time with him... Now that he was aimed at him, he could only understand it better. Of course he'd aim at him.

Shoya began smirking and he nodded in agreement. "Never thought about Mae being Chicken Little until you brought it up, bro!"

"See? Someone agrees with my theories!"

Finally, the strategist responded, irritation obvious in his voice.

"Stop saying I look like Chicken Little. He’s dumb, and he’s a coward. and I am NOT a coward!" There was silence in the room as all eyes landed on Maemi and Zuro... There were some people who laughed, some people who agreed, some others disagreed and some people only looking at the scenario before them. That was a weird line to say, but it sounded way too familiar... Was it from those Kine videos? Kine was deleted some years ago! Whatever, the scenario before them was surely interesting to experience... Even if he knew there was a reference to that or not. Now, the people only got more quiet as they noticed how even the two were silent.

"Okay yeah, you're not a coward." Even if Zuro had such a personality, he wouldn't call him a coward. "But--- Chicken Little wasn't a coward by the end of the movie! Therefore, you being Chicken Little? Still valid, I suppose!" He hated the enthustiastic grin which was still on the face of his even if he said those words. Goddamn it- did he have to diagree with this man forever? He won't even budge! You know what? What's the point of arguing with him if it would definitely lead to nothing at all. He wouldn't change. "Got anything else to say?" He crossed his arms with a playful chuckle, while Maemi just began picking a book from the shelf.

He got a book, schemed through the pages to see how long it was then decided to read it. He placed the book slightly higher so the person could read the title of the book he was reading... His face was clearly done with Zuro's bullshit, and he had no ideas how to respond to him so he could finally drop the Chicken Little subject. Zuro only read the book with his eyes before bursting into laughter. "Did you get the message, or should I get another book?" His voice was passive agressive in a way, but he didn't sound mad at all.

"I don't know, Maemi. Why are Little Shits such blockheads is a good enough title."

Shima/Ko

They were waiting for the rest of the members of the BQ Thieves inside the restaurant itself. Shima was casually eating the burger, enjoying the coupons which he got from Aki after saying some words to someone... It wasn't that big of a deal... I mean, what could get better than some coupons to one of his favorite restaurants? He took another bite from the burger and he noticed how Ko was just sipping some coke float from his straw as he dipped his fries on ketchup-- but his mind didn't seem to be with him right now. "Hey, Morga--- Ko. Something up?" Jesus Christ, he almost called him by that chatacter from his favorite game. No answer from him. "Ko?" He repeated his name and Ko jumped up from his seat.

"I apologize for not noticing you sooner, Shima." He laughed nervously as he finally began to eat... Damn, what the hell was wrong? He usually spoke more than usual, and his topics ranged from tips, things about himself, mafia life or questions about how Zygos really works... Now he was more silent than usual. "I began to think about other things, I should have paid attention to my surroundings." He personally apologized and Shima placed the wrapper of the burger away before placed his arms on top of the table. This only caused the man who was still eating his fries to only observe what he was doing and wonder what his movements meant.

He didn't remember being this caring, or at least- he didn't remember showing his kindess so easily. But well, being more of a protagonist could be fun! There were bonus positive feelings that made him feel proud of himself, so there's that. "Want to talk about it?" His face was bland for a second before he looked away for a short moment. "I mean, we still have the others to wait for, and we don't really have anything else to do..." He tried to make up several excuses to hide that he may have been a bit worried for the male he was eating with... And well, his words did work. Hell yeah, protagonist powers always worked.

"Thank you for understanding, Shima. But I prefer not talking about this specific person in public. All I have to say is I feel pretty upset over the fact she did so much and she had no warning signs." Ko's eyes suddenly became a bit sad. "She has broken several members, but they all chose to forgive or forget her. In my case, it isn't easy to do that if she..." Woah Ko, that's going to spoiler territory... "... Yeah. Anyway, why I am like this is because I decided to go to the attic and see if there are any objects I could have used for training, but instead, I gained some unwanted memories and it's been affecting me." He closes his eyes before raising a finger. "But perhaps I could forget about it, people can be much more deceiving than you expect they are."

"Yeah, people can be bitches sometimes."

"Agreed."

"And deceiving? Holy crap, I should tell you about how one of my teammate can go from "I'm cute" to "die" real quick. That's fucking deceiving."

Ko laughed a bit, knowing who he was talking about. "Go ahead, hearing your stories would certainly be interesting.

"You see..." Shima began trying to look for an explanation before placing his hands on top of the table. "One time, I said something out loud by accident and the next time I knew it, Hamlet was dramatically crying over my supposedly dead corpse as he wrapped bandages around my room." One out of the many experiences with someone from Team Omega. "Then later on, I knew Haru did it. Who else could have done it? I was fucked up with a damn knife. Just for saying shit out loud by accident." Shima shivered at the mere flashback he had with his head and it ended up making Ko burst out in laughter.

"I know who that is... I have to admit, she is fairly pretty. But as people in Zygos act, she is also deadly." He began wiping his hands with a tissue. "She's injured you, as I've heard. Also, you have a story about her so there's that. She gave Sepheir more work that one time she stabbed Ace... She truly is a wild woman." He recalled some moments he had with her, and he admitted that she wasn't someone who he talked to a lot--- but through other people he knew how she acted. "Indeed, her looks may deceiving... But I cannot fully deny that I am quite attracted to her--- Wait no, more of curiousity than attraction." Ko brought this up and Shima only placed his two hands on his shoulder like a main character from an anime.

"You wouldn't want to be curious or attracted to her."

"Oh?"

"I don't want to attend to a cat's- I mean, person's funeral."

"Is she that much of a bitch to be able to hurt someone like me?"

"Yes, she is a bitch. B i c t … h." Shima began shaking hkm slightly, as if he was trying to snap out Ko from a dream. "Did you not hear me? She almost killed me! Not only once, so that makes you not a single chance to be protected by her wrath. I don't want you to die." He finally released him before sighing. "Fuck. Why the hell do you Protezioni have some guts to be close to someone so fucking dangerous? She can probably bite your head off." A chuckle from the person he was talking to. "I'm fucking serious! She can! She's like the dam Hulk!" He began to tall about hlw she worked again. "Decent and all until she gets fucking angry!"

"Thank you for the warnings, maybe I will stop being curious." Ko said this calmly as he only continued to sip his soda. This conversation was wild, talking about girls was... surely a topic to to enjoy. Hey, at least he got to enjoy this moment because of him. If not, the whole BQ Thieves could have found him all upset over something that shouldn't even be brought up. "Additionally, thank you for talking to me about such..." His words trailed off to something else as a smirk was seen on his face. "Joker." It was a complete reference to a game Shima played and he only felt the success sharpen in his mind.

"Mission Accomplished."

"That's right... I should call you that again sometimes."

"WHAT A WONDERFUL TIME TO SEE MT DEAREST FRIENDS IN SUCH A PLACE FILLED WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND AROMAS---"

"Sorry, we were late!! I and Ren stopped in a flower shop, we bought a bouquet."

"Yarohe and Ren decided to look at the flowers and Ren posed as she read the name of the flowers out loud. It was funny to watch!"

"About time you all came... We should order shit again... MOVE OUT!"

#ask #writing #zuro #ko #protezioni #maemi #shima #zeta comic #STAN ZETA

[guccifloralsuits]

Omg that ship thing!!! Do h*ylor I am sorry if you hate it if you do do zarry

ya know, haylor actually strangely fascinates me, for some reason. I hated it when it was going on, but thats because I was a *cringe* larr*e (in my defense I was a child dont come @ me) and the relationship threatened my reality, or what I wanted that reality to be. Now, I think it was a lot deeper than people/the fandom wanted to accept it as. Also I just answered a zarry one, so haylor….let’s see…

who is more likely to hurt the other? Harry. easily. Have you heard 1989? You don’t write an album like than unless someone did a real number on you…you can feel the heartbreak in some of the writing, it’s so full of emotion. I’m not a swift fan, but after falling in love and ending up burned, i listened to the album, and just. It put exactly what I was going through into words. The hurt, the anger, the missing him and the regrets. yeah, he def hurt her, in the endwho is emotionally stronger? Harry. He doesn’t let his emotions control his actions and words, ever. no matter how intense he feels the things he does. Taylor, on the other hand, is driven by emotions. She lets them fester, and she lets them come out in her actions and words (2013 VMAs, just saying). In some ways, that elevates her song writing capability (bad blood and it’s success for ex), but in others…it works to her detriment (the feuds she’s developed along the way) who is physically stronger? Harry, thats an easy one lmao who is more likely to break a bone? Harry, tripping on stage. I don’t actually know how clumsy Taylor is. this randomly made me remember the ski accident affair though haha oh my goddddwho knows best what to say to upset the other? ah, both, I feel like. Taylor in the passive-agressive disses to the media when it was all still fresh bc harry h a t e s media spotlight on that stuff, which she prob knew. (keep in mind, this is when the break up was still fresh. as time went on, Taylor stopped responding to celeb-newline bait questions abt the relationship). And harry for not responding in kind. Like, for all intents and purposes, he came off unaffected by the things she was saying (let’s look again back at the VMAs) and I think that pissed of Taylor, bc she was looking for a reaction. who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? Taylor, because I honestly think she cared more and was afraid harry would walk out if she didn’t. And he might have, honestly. who treats who’s wounds more often? Harry to Taylor’s, more because I see harry having a harder time opening up to people he’s in a romantic relationship w. He’s made some allusions to thinking of himself as not boyfriend material and I think some of that comes down to him feeling scared to let himself fall, to expose himself so fully to another person like that, only to get hurt in the end. Because of that, he doesn’t come to his sig others for comfort about any Deep Personal Issueswho is in constant need of comfort? This is hard. this is kind of around the time h’s friendship with Louis was dying, so I can see him coming to her for comfort about that, bc she was outside the situation and unconnected to their relationship (unlike almost everyone else in harrys life at that point). I also see Taylor as a vent-y type, so both? but I don’t think they’d go That Deep, just stick to external stresses and not internal woundswho’s most likely to walk out on the other? Harry aka cruise ship stranding to go sit with older men in a hot-tub (I shouldn’t b laughing he’s the worst but  I lived when that happened)) who will propose? harry, but after Taylor arranged how and where it would happen, and wrote out & sent him what he should saywho has the most difficult parents? I can see Harry’s as not disapproving but like 👀👀 ok harry let’s see how well this is gunna go down we support u hon but this is gunna blow up in ur face who hogs the blankets? they share, sharing is caring who gets more sad? this was kinda in one of harrys ah, messier years…but Taylor’s rep started getting t o r n when they started dating, and I lot of it was propagated by this fandom. before, like. She had boyfriends, but it was never really media talk. When haylor happened? God. She got dragged dude, and I could see that making her sad/affecting her a lot who is better at cheering the other up? harry. he’d show up at midnight w flowers and no warning, and they’d go driving down the empty highway with the windows down and it would make Taylor just…forget about the media, and the spotlight, even for just a moment. who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? Taylor to harry who is more streetwise? Harry, I think who is more wise? Harry, because he just lets things roll off him in a way Taylor sometimes still struggles to. He doesn’t get caught up in the little things, or the small/negative comments. Taylor needs to work on that, in my opinion.who’s the shyest? I see them both as pretty shy but good at faking extraverted who boasts about the other more? Both pretty tight lipped bc the media are hungry as hell who sits on who’s lap? Taylor on Harrys, but harry on Taylors when they got drunk 

Anyways, hope this was satisfactory. I don’t know Taylor all that well and I don’t pretend to, but. I do have A Lot of thoughts about Haylor (I just never share em bc this is a…sore subject for some, still). 

Send me ships and I’ll answer these questions about them 

#asks #haylor #harry styles #Taylor swift

[astroyongie]

Hey, is it ok to ask how would nct 127 be like when they get angry based on astrology? Thanl you in advance 💐

note: omg like I wasn’t supposed to publish this one so soon, but I am a sucker for angst and I knew I just had to write it ! so thank you so much for the request ! 

warning: angst 

Taeil

It gets a lot to make Taeil angry but when it does expect lots of judgement 

Would argue with the person or situation that made him upset 

It might not seem but his Taurus mars makes him really intense when provoked

So Taeil could actually engage himself into a physical fight if his anger is important 

He wants to solve the issue on the spot. So it wont matter if he has to argue for hours but he wont leave a open argument without solving 

His cheeks would get red and his hands would instantly curl into fists 

He wont forget easily. Even if he forgives whatever made him angry he wont forget about it

Expect even cold comments about it. Like lets pretend his s/o made him jealous with someone else. Yeah well, he would sometimes make passive-agressive comments about it like “yeah you have that friend of yours to keep you company anyway, right?”

Johnny 

Johnny is really scary when angry, not only because of his body proportions but also because the energy around him is insanely big 

His killing look would really make anyone terrified of him

He can also be very impulsive so depending on the situation that made him angry he can engage himself into a verbal or physical violence 

Would be very very moody when angry.

Would turn off any emotion. Like If he is arguing with his s/o and he is really angry, even if his s/o is crying he wouldn’t bat a lash. wouldn’t care a bit. not his problem. 

Yeah johnny can be emotionless when angry because anger controls most of his body and it would be worst if its during a mood swing

Expect him to provoke a lot as well

Would be sarcastic and have a very heavy humor just to annoy the person who made him angry back

Also won’t communicate with them until his anger dissipates 

Taeyong 

This sensitive boy won’t lead well with anger or any other negative feeling

Based on his chart he is the type of person that would get angry very quietly 

It can also be really auto-destructive 

Meaning he would always find a way to harm himself in any type of way, even unconsciously just to lead with anger

Taeyong would be dead silent, and his eyes would be really intense and small

Expect his hands to shake

And also him bitting his nails in an attempt to calm himself down

He wouldn’t be into violence so he would probably stay quiet about it and not start a fight or a big argument

Will probably give very small direct answers if you try to communicate

His anger always turn into hurt after a few time

He would be over sensitive about it, so don’t expect him to bring it up

Depending on what he is angry about he might forget it or forgive it. Unless its something like betrayal and cheating, or rude and harsh critics coming from someone he loves

Doyoung 

Doyoung doesn’t like physical aggressiveness. Like he enjoys to play around and tease however when it comes to the real feeling of anger he would rarely engage into violence 

And if he does its really because the situation had made him lost his mind

however Doyoung would use a lot of manipulation during his anger and make sure the person he is angry with would feel beyond guilty 

He would provoke them with his words and his anger would turn into satisfaction If he saw the person broken

It’s just his way to protect himself 

Expect him to also be really hurt and to use those feelings against however made him feel like that

Would probably need a moment to calm myself but would be open to actually solve things

He would also apologize for his harsh words but deep down wouldn’t regret it depending on the intensity of things

Also his body would be a trembling leaf when angry 

Yuta

Honestly Yuta Is personally the one in NCT that I wouldn’t want to make angry 

The aura around him would get so dark and heavy it can make anyone uncomfortable

He would be restless when angry 

Meaning his anger would last days and it won’t let it go easily 

Wouldn’t think twice about engaging into violence if necessary

Because Yuta is a very good hearted person he would still try to control himself before beating the hell out of someone ( and also because he has a very sensitive side that makes his aggressiveness paradoxical), but when negative intense feelings take possession of him, he loses all reason

Don’t even try to communicate with him because he wont listen

Even less if he is anger against you

Would be so silent. He would ignore your existence to an extend  where you mean nothing to him so he can cope with the feelings that come with anger, like disappointment, fear and hurt.

The worst with Yuta is that his scorpio nature would make him very vingative. So you angered him, he would make sure to pay you a hundred times worst

Jaehyun 

Jaehyun also is the type to stay quiet about it 

He is very tolerant due to his Taurus Moon placement, so it would need to be something very serious for him to get angry

And when he does he closes himself and pushes himself away from the person or the situation that angers him

That because he doesn’t like violence and because he also knows if he keeps getting rubbed on the wrong way he would do something stupid and engage himself into something that would end up with someone hurt 

He would be very defensive as well so he would blame others 

Jaehyun is also very passive-agressive. He would speak in a certain sarcastic  way yet his words would have a lot of agressiveness. Like you know he is hell mad

However despite that, he enjoys peace way too much so he would want to solve things, however it would be hard for him to do the first step

He would re evaluate things before trying to solve whatever issue made him angry

In any case, he needs time to think and time to heal from his feelings

Winwin

Sicheng don’t lead with anger well

His anger makes him very stressed and he would feel a lot of pressure. His scorpio nature would make it very explosive as well, so honestly pissing him off wouldn’t be a good idea 

He would use criticism to fight back his anger. Meaning however made him angry can expect a lot of bad words coming from his mouth 

He is also very restless when angry, however he would try to avoid physical violence

He is the type that would not even argue you know ? Like you made him angry, he would say some words to hurt back. Then things would esclate, and Sicheng would simply send a death glare, his hands would tremble and he would turn around and leave making sure to slam a door shut

Because he knows if he stays he would blow up

And he wants to avoid to go into deeper darker sides of him that he isn’t comfortable with 

He would be also sensitive about it and wont forgive so easily

Would distance himself and he just like Taeil he wouldn’t forget even if he finds courage to forgive.

Jungwoo

When angry Jungwoo would be very putty, silent and defensive.

If the person asks him whats wrong tho he would be provocative and make them understand whats wrong by using riddles in a way

Is the type of person that would feel more hurt than angry

His eyes would become really expressive and big when he argues. Even if violence wont probably happen, Jungwoo would still throw points into the other persons’s face`

would make them understand it’s their fault and if they don’t fix it quickly he will stay hurt

Would be very tempted to manipulate and get all the guilt into the other person

Might play victim so his arguments get more prominent 

He can also be really risky and impulsive so if he is really angry he might blurt out things he dont think just to hurt the other person back

However would end up coming to the person and forgive them for what they might have done because this baby wont hold grudges and he is able to work and process his feelings

Mark

Mark is also the type of person that would literally tremble in rage 

He has a lot of pride so if he gets angry during an argument expect him to do everything to make his point clear 

Would be very defensive as well. 

Like he would try to justify his anger and make sure the person know the reasons why he is angry and why they need to apologize 

Expect lots of body movements when he argues since he cannot control all the adrenaline he is feeling

He might get into physical violence if things happen too fast and too intensely. However if its a progressive anger that develops with the situation, the violence would come with words 

He would want apologies right on the spot , because else he wont forgive

His anger might take some time before dissipating so he would be bitter during this time.

Will expect for the person to come after him and to show they regret whatever they did that made him angry

Haechan

Hyuck can be very dangerous when angry, both to himself and others 

He will engage into violence most times

He is the type of person, who would argue a lot. He would use very hurtful words and probably put more wood on the fire

That because he has no self control when he is really angry. His hands would turn into fists, his face would become red and his all aura would change

He also wants to win arguments, so no matter what made him anrgy, Hyuck would make sure to make the person feel guilty and turn things into his favor 

Expect him to be really sarcastic beside the aggressiveness. He would treat the person like pure garbage if they make him angry 

The thing is that Hyuck also turns anger into hurt

And he hates to feel hurt, and because of his self-conscious nature and auto-destructive behaviors things can get really bad 

He is the type that would argue, punch walls until his knuckles are bleeding, win the argument by leaving but then would cry and would use bad ways to cope with it

#nct #nct 127 #nct taeyong #nct taeil #nct johnny #nct doyoung #nct yuta #nct jaehyun #nct winwin #nct jungwoo #nct mark #nct heachan #nct angst #nct headcanons #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct astrology #nct blurbs

[lilyonlife-blog]

Hi everyone! I would like to tell my story so honestly that it may cuts into your meat. I am 24..very young yess….I have things behind me, that is BEHIND ME so it needs to be passed from my mind, from my soul and keep the good inside. And the meaning of the experience. (IF it has?) So right now I am living in Budapest, in Hungary, in a district which is very much of the suburb and nothing ever happens here. Or if it has, not with me. The school in front of me, very boring college that I started in 2014 and I will finish in this year. Since high school my life was „interesting”. In high school I had my life, it was nice with some struggle but most of the times I felt good. Maybe the only thing I could not understand never, is why i am staying always alone with the biggest questions of life, with the struggles of my little life, with the things that really matters in the moment, why passes away without being answered? Without find someone to understand me? I had this problem since always. Many times of my life I was lonely and felt that nobody really cares. I had a kinda loud strong, outgoing personality so it did not seem but I was feeling it inside and I just did not want to tell it. It was so much inside of me that so many, so many times I kept it when I had the feeling that people leaving me, that they forget me, that I am just sitting alone in my house, in the school and nobody asks how I am, what is wrong? Do you feel alright? Let’s do something. Many times I felt I am neglected and I did not find the way out of it. I wanted company but it finished fast. The games over, the chitchat is over and I was able to talk about so many things but I felt others are not that fascinated by those as I am. It was just small things. So I grew up like this. I was not unsatisfied, I was more like experiencing and identify myself like every tennager. In the same time I never felt I need to study or do the things right. Any time I got dissapointed, I got so alone in life that suddenly everyone forget me and nobody thought where I am? I felt that If people DO NOT care if I live or no then why should I be good at school? Why should I struggle and sit all alone, when my reality is so lonely and should I make it even more? Just for a fucking grade? Just for a person that I do not know says, okay you are alright, your mind works well here is a 5 to you. And then WHAT? IN WHAT it changes my life? We did not make a chat after lesson about what grade you get. If at home I would say I got a good grade they say okay you are good but it does not change anything. In the next moment the reality is what happening. I needed care and fun and excitement, and good talks and coriousity. This was my life. High school was a nice time of my life I do not complain. But I went abroad for a summer, I got to the end almost total alone there too even If i was speaking english and tried to make it fun, I met with very passive people, but one man was liking me and I liked him back. We enjoyed life. We drinked and smoked. And it was perfect for me even if I had bad times there too sometimes. But what waited for me at home was way more interesting. In the end of the summer I felt that suddenly all my life, that I felt my „reality” falled apart, nothing that I thought about was the same as I remembered. In school I was in my last year and I started to feel the nightmare I never imagined. I felt meaningless. In a place where I find good stuffs and strenght in me. At home I ain’t got and nobody waited for me for real. I was living at home, sometimes with my grandmother but I knew that I never pass in their mind and my biggest problem was always if I got home and nothing happened. For a time I was able to handle but when my balance gone, in a sense like I do not get enough attention, fun and connection nor in the outer world nor in the family life I felt I am dying. And instead saying the truth I started to be rebel. I was not the person to say, hey care about me more! Love me more! IF you don’t I GO AWAY! In my thoughts and in reality too. But in real world only big shoutings were that demonstrated my pain inside. This is how it happened, that I runned back to another continent to a guy that was so much a past already that I should not care about. But he cared a little bit by internet and this was my runaway train about the line of love and care. This was my „gap” betweet the lost way I was feeling in both side of my life. But the guy was fascinated by me and still he was living his life. He did not had these problems. He had others..So when I left I felt it will not be alright. What I am gonna dot there? And I got very anxious, I did not love him the way I wanted, I did not do my things the way I wanted. He did not care enough, I did not care enough. We were both lost. I got even more depressed and lonely than ever in my life. But I stayed. I looked back to Hungary and thought about what future waits for me and I stayed. I waited maybe maybe it will be ok. I tried to warn people about my current state, my well being, my soul that is kinda dead inside already because I feel trapped no matter what I do but nobody really took it serious. So I got so much anxious, I was feeling weaker than ever I was not able to fill up myself from nowhere. I felt like I used to feel. That nobody understand me. That nobody understand my reality. I did not have big goals to fight for. I tried to learn the language of the country but in the same time I did not want it. I did not even wanted to be there actually. But i did not care. We tried some drugs and I wanted to live a free life but it did not happened in this way. It was more like compulsion, a prison where I putted myself. Altought I did not want to do anything, I was lack of motivation and I did not care about the world, I felt I am cutted out from the world, from my reality from the „ circulation of blood „. This is how it went and I got home..Okay let’s skip to the life of Budapest. I am living here for 4 years but I had no joy at all yet. Maybe I am going away. But where? I feel that nothing is my place. I can not find a place to be, to feel good for years. Everywhere I went I went with a thought in my mind (which many times was proved that  is not valid) that I am outgoing I am fun and I will find people for myself. And actually everywhere I was more lonely that ever before. I felt a little bit good in my home and spend days with people but in the end I did not matter truly to nobody. And I went to Greece after my trip with this guy and it was just right. Some people hated, some liked some did not bothered and the job I had to do did not made me satisfied at all. There also I ended up all by myself and I left all alone without the need to say goodbye. So If I wasnt enought broken inside and lonely and frightened and lost I came to Budapest to „start” the „tipical life” of a 20 years old. Even if i had no mood at all for college, let’s do it! Of course I moved to a student hostel like it will be fun maybe but nobody talked to me and was not interested. At home was the same situation and no guy around. I was 20 or 21 but I felt younger than ever. I did not like the appereance of me so young. I will be 24 but I still look sometimes 19 or something. I feel I look younger than my teenage years. I am young but inside I am devastated and more than just young... I had different kind of issues but the feeling of not matter was the worst. I started to be so depressed for years, I went to another university which I felt I may want to do something with in the future. It succeed I got in. But many times i felt is that all? Why we running these circles? I was not a complaining girl but behind my cheerful personality I had always big void and pain hidden. And I was doing my circles, living in places which was not matter, meeting with people who did not matter, doing jobs just to do something. I left abroad for experiece Erasmus and I felt that it is just me here. Everything I will experience will be the thing I WILL DO. They will let me to do. Like a child, okay go, have fun we do not care. And I spin around myself like a freak. I entered into groups I had no real connection with anybody. Like it is alright but I felt so much pain and a lack of so many things I desired. And I will be 24. I had suicidal thoughts and I got so much negative that I decided I will not be like this anymore. All of this things was so small. It sounds big to travel and handle all by yourself, and stay alone but actually it is just life. So many things happened and I am still here. I survived the worst. Nothing is too serious. I know that there are many people struggling and If someone I know what is pain and what is expecting kindness and all I experience is strange looks to me for nothing. So many ignorant people. But I can not stay on this.  I can not define my life through other people’s perspective. Life is a road that needs to be ridden. I am the key for my happiness. Even if I know it, I do not feel it. I need cigarette, alcohol, drug, something to make my feelings right. I am a chainsmoker and I live inside my mind and my feelings are like a trash many times. I cry a lot, I am agressive and when I sit and study I feel like a little child that was putted into the corner and fuck you. Do your thing until we live! I never wanted to waste a moment from my life, I preffered to be around people. Live nice things, eat, laugh, talk, share. And ironically I felt that I wasted most and I stayed alone much more that I should have. I was at points in my life many times when inside I felt deal. Like nothing ever can help me. I am hopeless. I am lost. I do not find anything to live for. Nobody wants to be with me for real. I am like a little puzzle in the whole but things only happen when I do something. Normally no one looking for me. I could be dead. And even when I do something I got so much resistence and I asked DOES IT WORTH? I used to be the drunkest person everywhere. I am strong but I can handle life very hardly. I felt many times that it is nothing happening around. When it did. I have some kind of things like ADHD and some other issues that psycologist and psychiatrist told me…..Anytime I went to these doctors no one really helped, gave some stupid medicine and that is all. First I feel good but after, everywhere I started to feel hopeless and helpless. Eventually people forget me when I am still there. They do not do more things or more attractive or anything like me, it just happens. And I feel in the outer world while I move that I do not feel alright I need help. It happened all the damn time. But after all this time I am the one who wants to change. I know I can do great things, If i stay positive and If I put my energy into something I care it can be beautiful! All life in front of me and I can not live in this circle. If I feel I AM NOT ENOUGH. I will make myself rich INSIDE. Because any money I had, many times I felt the poorest of all. Lack of everything that matters. Always feeling a big miss a big void inside and my heart was feeling pain for real. I knew that this is my life and I am everywhere like a nobody! Nothing great will get out of nothing. We talk about things that does not matter we do things but this will pass and no good memories, no connection, no laugh, no life for real will remain. I felt I will die without get in touch with anybody for real! I payed money to psycologist to relax and have nice images in my mind. IN MY MIND! So why to pay for something that I can also do at home? Having nice images and relax for a half hour. I can use this money to buy food for a homeless or buy a nice clothes to me. Which can be as a therapy! I can use my energy, my time and my effort to do great things! I know I have this hard circle and sometimes It gets harder but the power is in my hands to change it! I used to have great memories and beautiful feelings. I can feel it. I will not remain the person I am now I do not need this circle anymore. I need to be confident, I need to have trust in me, more presistence. And i can be kinda funny if I want. I can make good moments when nothing is right! I have a mouth, I have 2 hands, I have energy inside, I have thoughts! I had success. All these things, This road I wrote to You. I wanted. I tried, I had anything in my mind about it. And I am here. Considering that the loneliness and the pain and unfair things happened, so what? My anger, my hate I can put into something better. Life is not fair. Many times I got negative things for something that never happened, only in other people’s mind. I am alright and I got hate for doing nothing particular. I want to do better things, I want to be more. So You, NEVER never underestimate your power. I felt shame to be alone many times. I was walking around the city just to not be at ANY PLACE. I had to have the feeling always that I am something exception! My time was passing I did not find nothing good in life anymore and I got only the bad things. I can not be a Victim of my own life! I need to get up and do something worthful! Be MY own Boss! What I experienced in my life that people liked to put me away! To not even hear from me, see me! I am a nice girl in the world, nothing there is nothing that is so so bad that I need to get this and I needed to fight it all alone!  I did not make like a real trouble nowhere and people acted like I am a piece of shit. They would step on me if they could. They looked through me. But it made me stronger! Much stronger for life.

I got the feeling many times that I have something to shame. That I am different from „normal”. When I am just me. Nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I need time yet to really be the person I want to become but I will never give up. All the lies that people found out of me, the easy way to wants to get rid of me just gave me strenght!!! I can become better in so many fields! Like writing, writing this…. I cheer my mistakes but I try to make something meaningful in my life! I will always stay powerful and always strive for better! I can not say I will not be in this anymore because I am always in this. I am not sure why exactly. These people never talked with me any sentences. These people turned their back to me and pushed me away frome the moment we met.  But I will not make myself feel bad or anxious or sad or make myself to feel like a piece of shit in this world! Because I am not! I will never give this pleasure to nobody..and I take it as a lesson for a lifetime….I do my things. I need to do MY THINGS. MY part….I can not repeat myself anymore. The mind is a powerful creature.