#i am. sick.

[official-rolli-und-rita]

And is the update that removes tumblr live with us right now?

#lifeblogging #i am so sick of this shit GET IT OFF MY DASH!!

[beaft]

i swear mobile games aren't even games anymore they're just vehicles for ads. i've gotten really into sudoku lately so i downloaded a sudoku app. multiple 40-second unskippable ads per game. solve a grid or a line of numbers and you get rewarded with an ad. need a hint? watch two ads. not to mention all the ads are for other mobile games, which are themselves vehicles for more ads for other mobile games and so on, like a set of matryoshka dolls that all want you to download their app and subscribe for £6.99 a month. remember snake? we used to love snake. it was a kinder world back then

#be shh now #i am so sick of being advertised to!!!!!! anyway #containment breach

[littlematchagirlll]

you know what, fuck joe biden. fuck joe biden. i am so deeply enraged tonight. thousands of palestinians have been murdered in a genocide funded by US tax dollars, and his administration thinks it's a good time to post memes?? most young people i know are living paycheck to paycheck (or debt to debt), and they think they can appeal to us by posting goddamn memes? at least one hundred people were killed in rafah due to an israeli air strike during the superbowl, and biden posts a dark brandon meme? what the absolute fuck? over twelve thousand children have been murdered in cold blood by the israeli military, funded by the united states, funded by my goddamn taxes, and biden tweets about seats on airplanes? i can't afford to buy meat, but thank god part of my paycheck is being spent on bombing children. i am ashamed i voted for him. if i ever met the man, i would spit on him. i would throw both my shoes at him. i am disgusted and angry. god fucking damnit

#i have been filled with rage since october and it is only growing #i am sick with rage #we have watched a genocide in real time #and watched the united states fund it #absolutely disgusting shit #fuck joe biden #joe biden #biden #united states #israel #palestine #free palestine #free gaza #gaza genocide #gaza #genocide #rafah #🍉

[absentlyabbie]

taking my life into my hands to resurrect this godawful hellpoll and let it run for a week this time

#tumblr polls #my polls #poll #rice v potato #let's see if we can avoid getting weirdly and vehemently racial with it this time! #i am making this choice while sick and brain muddle-y so let's hope i don't regret it #last attempt at this seven months ago managed to get over 6k votes in 24 hours #let's see if this will once again be rip my notifications

[fairycosmos]

people when mental illness actually makes you unpalatable and disappointing instead of just making you quirky online

#sorry that i am actually sick #in a way that isnt getting better

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[thethoriumreactor]

human alastor

(With a bonus baby al)

(Ignore whatever tf I did with the microphones idk how they work I’m sorry)

#I love the fact that he’s half French creole cause I am too we’re twinsies #(Im not a serial killer I promise) #I’m still sick and feeling miserable #He’s my emotional support serial killer #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel alastor #radio demon #thorium.art #hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin #hazbin hotel art #vivziepop #human alastor #the radio demon #cw blood #sorry i forgot

[finisnihil]

“They finally made this theme more blatant-" Why does it need to be blatant. What's wrong with subtlety? Concepts can be underused but subtlety is not neglect.

Blaring all your concepts and themes is not good writing. It's so disruptive to a story's flow when the characters look off the screen to be like "See? This is the concept. The idea. The theme."

If you can feel the hand of the author becoming too heavy that's bad.

For example: I see people saying Azula's abuse in ATLA is more blatant in the live action and it's good because "it's being discussed more". It already was discussed at length. The show made it clear she was a victim at every turn, every behavior, every reaction, it came from a place of trauma. It was made clear that she was scared of ending up like Zuko because Zuko was an example of what would happen to her if she failed. When she says she's better than Zuko it wasn't just because she was raised to think hersef superior to him but because Zuko failed and failures get mutilated and exiled, failures are abandoned. In that final Agni Kai the music is morose and somber because this isnt some epic battle its a fucking tragedy, the burning out of "Ozai's brightest light" and Azula finally succumbing to her terror and trauma she was repressing now that her worst fears are realized. How can you see a fourteen year old girl chained to a sewer grate wailing and writhing and breathing fire desperately as unsympathetic? Even Katara and Zuko are horrified as to what has become of her.

The writers weren't looking us in the eye and saying "See? She's a victim too" when they wrote this, they weaved it in. They weaved it into her obsesison with symmetry, her extreme perfectionism, the way she talks about Ozai, the ways she calls herself a monster, her isolation from those with healthy home lives, all the ways she held herself together and ultimately all the cracks and seams that she shattered down when she fell apart. It did not need to be blatant to be clear.

#Finis Analyzes #Nihil Dreams #ATLA #avatar the last airbender #Azula #I’m so fucking sick of people saying stuff like this #Please learn media literacy I am begging you #The narrative is not going to hold your hand and play tour guide and point out everything #Stop acting like it has to #You can analyze it yourself I promise

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[wolfythewitch]

hello sailor

#i dont think im using that phrase right but he IS kind of a sailor so #tagamemnon #art #digital art #odysseus #odyssey #the odyssey #greek mythology #i am a Sick so heres an ody that looks as miserable as i feel

[ghouljams]

König would be so good as a period buddy :(

He's got those huge hands and I bet he just radiates heat, he'd massage your back while you lay on him, he'd press his hand against your stomach to try and soothe the cramps. He'd be so attentive, he was raised by his mutter to be a good boy and this is important good boy activities :( fetching heating pads, candy, easy food when your hormones fuck up your appetite, soup and tea. König would just coo at you each time you whined, he hates seeing you hurting but you're so cute and needy :(

He'd love period sex. You're so squirmy and embarrassed, but you're so hot on his tongue and you make such pretty sounds for him. There's something dark and possessive that growls with pleasure seeing your blood on his cock, feeling you tremble and cry because your hormones are running wild. You're just so cute! You're adorable, he just wants to eat you up. Maybe he will, he's already got you basically confined to bed. Why ever let you anywhere else after this?

#cod x reader #x reader #könig fanfiction #könig x reader #könig cod #könig call of duty #könig mw2 #könig #f!reader #könig x f!reader #afab!reader #tw periods #period sex #i am in so much pain lol #ghoul is very sick rn

[mintytrifecta]

Enough depressurized blobfish. I'm here to spread living blobfish propaganda.

Look at them. Gorgeous. Wonderful. Living comfortably at depths to over 1,200 meters in the ocean. Be nice to them.

#ENOUGH OF YOUR DEAD BLOBFISH IM SICK OF IT #marine biology #Blobfish #Marine bio #Fish #Ocean #Ocean creatures #Thedeeps #Deep sea fish #Putting it in every tag I am serious I am no longer joking respect the blobfish #Sea life #sea animals #Psychrolutes marcidus

[lazylittledragon]

hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

#ramble #literally very hot. like very hot #there is so much sweat #'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it #trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do #and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT #i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me' #*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones* #it's all fearmongering and it's SICK #personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL

[l0verseyes]

YOU'RE THE STAR OF THE SHOW, BABY! ⭐

#i am sick of looking at this.. take it #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #draws

[danijaci]

Sneaking glances

#himmel #sousou no frieren #frieren: beyond journey's end #frieren #art #my art #fanart #CRYINGG #they make me sick #i am unwell

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #request #kofi commission #cuccicakes #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #I am still extra sick! #but I am well enough to finally get to this other commission I agreed to literally the day I got extra sick! #and make a couple doilies for the craft fair in december! #which is progress. #after basically doing Nothing for the better part of 7 days.