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#i believe that you will figure it out šŸ«”
foxbirdy Ā· 1 year
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Help, I'm kinda stupid (bad brain disease and chronic illness shit) and scared but I really am wanting to do field work shit. I'm almost graduated from college but feel like I learned pretty much nothing and don't feel like I'm employable at all. I am highly motivated but I just like, don't know what the future holds!! How do you be a person with a job? How do you do the difficult things you do?
Hello ā™„ļø before I get into this I must give a disclaimer: I am by no means an expert! I am just some guy. I can share what I've had smacked into me over the course of my adult life, but it's definitely not gospel. Take anything I say about my own lived experience with a grain of salt, because it might not necessarily be true for you! Ok. Disclaimer over, let's get into it:
1 - Anon, you are not stupid. If you almost have a degree, you are killing it! I cannot even tell you how many people I know in field work who hated getting their undergrad with the passion of a thousand suns, and scraped through it by the skin of their teeth! I know lots of people who don't have degrees at all, and have no intention of getting one! Be proud that you almost have your degree.
2 - I do not have my degree! I am still working on it. I have a couple semesters to go. Everything I have done has been in the context of being a student, or someone with some college coursework and some practical experience. My brain is also not designed for the higher education system! The ADHD that makes me miserable in university work (understimulated, unfulfilled, unfocused) is also what makes me thrive in the field (performs best in high-stress environments, prefers novelty to routine, settled by working with my hands and body, excellent multitasker, intense focus on physical project work). Do not equate your ability to be a model college student with your employability.
3 - You already have the chiefest qualification required for fieldwork, which is that you are highly motivated! I've said this before, phrased differently, but the quality that most opportunities are looking for in a candidate is sheer audacity. The willingness to do crazy shit. The belief that you can do anything if you try hard. They need someone who's motivated enough (or unhinged enough) to say things like: "Yes, I will sleep on the ground. Yes, I will eat weird food. Yes, I will hike into work every day, hauling gear. Yes, I will not go crazy if I can't access the internet for weeks at a time. No, I will not turn homicidal if I'm working, eating, and sleeping with the same eight people for months. No, I've never driven a truck and trailer, but I will learn how. No, I don't have that certification, but I will get it. No, I've never used that software, but I will figure it out." If you can a) endure difficulty with enthusiasm, and b) not be phased by unknowns, you are more than halfway there.
4 - Put yourself out there! Drag yourself out of your comfort zone, within reason. Apply to things you think you have no chance of getting! Apply to things that scare you a little! Do research. Figure out what you want to do, and start where you can. Ask for help - it will make you connections! The worst that anyone can say to you is "no," and that isn't so bad. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes you have to work at a coffee shop for a few months in-between jobs. Sometimes you'll have to wait for weeks to get more information on travel, and sometimes you have to pack your bags and get in your car within 72 hours. Go with the water cycle, move with the ups and downs. Be confident, be adaptable, have audacity, and nail your resume to the door of anything that looks cool. Godspeed and good luck out there!
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avrizl Ā· 6 months
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authors note - i legit have not written in a YEARšŸ«” please excuse this bs i need to feed you guys.
bf!mike holding you as you cry into his arms, stroking the back of your head lovingly, ā€œshhh.. itā€™s okay.. iā€™m right here..ā€ he never fails to make you feel safe with his touch.
bf!mike cupping your face ever so gently as he kisses you softly and lovingly, as he pulls away to look at you he rubs a reassuring thumb over your cheek.
bf!mike peppering your face with kisses as he walks into the door after a long night shift at the pizzeria as he wraps around you tightly swinging back and forth because he truly believes he will die without being around you for longer than 6 hours.
bf!mike smiling with a glimmer in his eyes as he sees the lights on the christmas tree you guys put up together, he hasnā€™t seen one in full like this since he was 13.
bf!mike buying you flowers at literally every chance he gets, there isnā€™t a room without flowers in a vase and all of the past bouquets heā€™s gotten you have been dried and the petals are in a vase.
bf!mike who will literally do ANYTHING. for you and i mean anything this man worships the ground you walk on and literally is obsessed with you.
bf!mike who believes you look beautiful no matter what youā€™re wearing, or how your hair is, or if you have makeup on or not. no matter the situation he is going on and on about how beautiful you are and how you get more and more beautiful each day
bf!mike who feels incredibly guilty because he can never cook you a nice dinner (he burns it almost every single time) ā€œiā€™m so sorry.. i just wanted to make you something niceā€ with the biggest puppy eyes ever he says this and your heart melts. (when youā€™re gone he lives off of lunchables).
bf!mike who runs you a bath when you donā€™t feel good like he goes all out like epson salt and ALL. and candles too and he brings you snacks. ā€œ ā€˜m sorry you donā€™t feel good baby.. i wish i could make it all go awayā€
bf!mike who smiles at you lovingly when you play with abby, or draw with her, carry her around, and tuck her in bed. he sees you as a motherly figure to her, and he can tell that abby trusts you and loves you a lot.
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astrologylunadream Ā· 4 months
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Everything About Your Future Spouse +Traits & Initials šŸŒ¹šŸ‘¤šŸ’ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
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Hi it's Lunadream~ This is my first future spouse reading for you guys, so let me know if you wanna see more readings like this one.ā¤ļø We will learn everything on your future spouse and specific details about them. hope you find your messagešŸ„°
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!ā™” If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 This is a general reading for many people! (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~ā¤ļø
Pile 1šŸŒ¹
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Pile 2šŸŖ·
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Pile 3šŸ’
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Pile 4šŸŒ·
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Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~ā™”
On to the readings ā€”> šŸ’•
Pile 1šŸŒ¹
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Sign energy: Cold, Darling, Concert, Silence, Provide, Saturn, Aries, 5th house, 4th house, Sun,āœ”ļøā™’ļøā™‹ļøšŸ«”
šŸŒ¹All about your future spouse: I kinda felt there would for sure be some successful energy from this pile's future spouse lol. Not necessarily prideful but definitely they know their worth, and I'm typically seeing an entrepreneur/family business thing going on with you twošŸ˜šŸ šŸ’¼ I love this couple's energy so much. Idk why but I'm getting some of you may be Aries-Aquarius relationship or Aries-Cancer relationship. They could have Capricorn, Aquarius, Aries, Leo, or Cancer placements in their chart. Omg your spouse will know how to mix work and play so well!! Like one minute they are serious down to business and the next dragging you off to a concert and jamming out with you LOLšŸ¤£ You guys may tie the knot sometime in winter. It's in the cards my pile 1's this person WILL PROVIDE.šŸ’øšŸ’°šŸ’ Like your future spouse will dedicate so much to their family, and they will make a great parent I'm hearing for those who are interested in thatšŸ˜­šŸ’— Omg so like at their work space they are super cold and sooo different from the way they are at home with their spouse/family, at home they are literally so sweet to their partner and love playing with their kids but they DON'T PLAY at work oml like people they work with will have mad respect for your future spouse, I'm kinda getting boss energy so that could be because everyone is under your future spouse or working for them.šŸ˜ŽšŸŖœšŸ” They show authority to others I'm seeing people greeting your future spouse like saluting to them (maybe they're in high position), bowing to your future spouse, ect. Your future spouse is so soft spoken and sweet with my pile 1's, meanwhile at work they may be more stern or harsh. They don't mind stepping on toes to give everything to their family.šŸ„ŗšŸ’šŸ’ž Ride or die for their family vibes. Seriously you will mean so much to this person, you will be a huge highlight in your future spouse's life. It's so sweet, so loving.šŸ„¹ā¤ļø
šŸ’¬Initials: X, F, V, U, R
šŸ“Locations: North america, North, Australia, South, Europe (These can be significant to you or them, or places you meet, travel or live togetheršŸ„°)
šŸ’¼Occupations: Entrepreneur, Public figure, Manager, Business owner, CEO, Finance, Artist, Politician, Media Influencer, Property owner, High status official, Entertainment industry
šŸ’ŒMessages from your future spouse: I can't believe it, I can't look you in the eyes, You left an impression on me, Come to your senses, I'm so tempted (šŸ˜) Extra cards: Public image, Connection, Synchrony, Sagittarius, Cupid
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!ā¤ļø
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Źš(ļ½”Ėƒ įµ• Ė‚ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the red rose emoji~šŸŒ¹ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next readingšŸ’‹
Pile 2šŸŖ·
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Sign energy: Eyebrows, Decor, February, Train, Siren, Chiron, 11th house, Water, South node, Earth,šŸ¦‹šŸ‹šŸ˜°šŸŒ
šŸŒ¹All about your future spouse: Okay so definitely getting water sign energy with this one. Your future spouse has such adorable traits!!šŸ˜©šŸ’— They may be born in february so Pisces is likely. Aquarius, Earth or Water placements too. They may work online or have an online business, it's something really clever and innovative I'm hearing. Your future spouse will have a very delicate occupation like it's nothing extreme or dangerous it's actually super simple and successful.šŸ˜‡šŸ“Ø This may be designing, home related, advertising, ect. I just feel like their job is so sweet idk why. It really suits them and they have such a calm and gentle work space. Your spouse will make money online or that is a source for themšŸ’øšŸ’»šŸ’« You may connect with them through social media or that is where you first see them. They are intuitive and have exceptional ideas, I feel like they really think out of the ordinary.šŸ’” For some of you this spouse may have a job that requires getting on a trainšŸš† My pile 2's your future spouse will be unique and very interesting to you.āœØļø They will heal your past, like you can depend on them.šŸ«‚ Their eyebrows may be a noticeable physical trait of theirs. Your future spouse may live near a bridge or water, also you guys may have a small thing of growing your own fruits or vegetables?? For some of you that may be the case, it's really cute omg.šŸ„ŗšŸ©· This will feel like a very healthy relationship for you both, a breath of fresh air. I feel like this person can be whatever you want them to be, like they will change for the better for you.šŸ’— Omg can can we talk about how worried they get over you?? Like if you get injured or they think the slightest thing is bothering you, they will ask you what's wrong and comfort you until you feel better.šŸ˜¢šŸŒ§šŸ’ž Like they just know. Your future spouse has soft siren vibes imo, not the intense scary kind but the adorable floppy fish vibes idk??šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£ They are just there for you whenever you need themšŸ’“ This is a really soft and innocent relationship you guys will have. :D
šŸ’¬Initials: F, Z, L, W, J
šŸ“Locations: U.S.A, Turkey, Hawaii, Indonesia, Australia (These can be significant to you or them, or places you meet, travel or live togetheršŸ„°)
šŸ’¼Occupations: Brand owner, Home design, Online marketing, Architecture, Interior designer, Online business, Editor, Graphic design, Freelance artist, Social media management
šŸ’ŒMessages from your future spouse: I get lost in your eyes, All you have to do is ask, I'll tell them myself, Have you thought of me lately? I think you're a great person (They love my pile 2's vibešŸ˜ŠšŸ©·) Extra cards: Above, Blood, Embrace, Union, Unrequited love
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!ā¤ļø
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Źš(ļ½”Ėƒ įµ• Ė‚ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the pink lotus emoji~šŸŖ· Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Wish you the best and see you in the next readingšŸ’‹
Pile 3šŸ’
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Sign energy: Love letter, Wish, Spouse, Chiron, Long, Cancer, Aries, Mercury, 1st house, 3rd house,šŸ˜­šŸ„²šŸ¦‡šŸ‘…
šŸŒ¹All about your future spouse: Wow interesting my pile 3's your future spouse is so recognizable, you will notice them right away.šŸ˜šŸ˜ā¤ļø Prominent signs for them are Cancer, Aries, Virgo, and Gemini. They will be so into you from the start lol like serious about you. They will confess many times to ensure they have you, They could have long legs or something long in their appearance, their tongue could be.šŸ˜¶ Anyways they will speak to you first I'm hearing, it will not be hard for them to strike up a conversation with you. You will be shocked by their forward approach, they may be surprisingly honest in the beginning like "let's get this thing straight, I'm into you" kinda thingšŸ¤­ā¤ļø But like once you become closer you will see how romantic and loving your future spouse gets with you!! They will compliment you and flirt with you so much, and probably the type to keep telling you they want to marry you.šŸ šŸŒ¹They are witty and romantic as hell. The type to brag about their family with you (if you have one) and tell others how in love with you they are. They will talk up my pile 3's so much.šŸ„ŗšŸ’ž Their job may involve communicating with many people. Your future spouse will help you through things that have been affecting you for a while. You will really want to commit to this person I'm hearing, once they got you.. you won't wanna leavešŸ˜ They speak openly about the things they want and leave it out there waiting for you to fulfill themšŸ’‹ Like saying they want affection without actually asking or telling you they're cold just to see if you'll cuddle them.šŸ„ŗ This is so sweet, they know all the words to say to make you blush.šŸ—£šŸ’Œ Your future spouse will know they want to marry you upon first meeting or the early stages of the connection, also for some of you this person has been wishing and hoping to marry you or find you for a long time.ā³ļø Once they have you they won't stop telling you how pretty/hot you arešŸ˜³ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„ They are great communicators, like really smooth.šŸ˜Ž Kisses with them will bešŸ’‹šŸ‘… And hugs will bešŸ«‚šŸ˜‡ That is all I will say about thatšŸ™ˆ My pile 3's your future spouse will be so caring and doting to you, they will take good care of you guys!!
šŸ’¬Initials: N, U, X, B, K
šŸ“Locations: Canada, Finland, Peru, Africa, India (These can be significant to you or them, or places you meet, travel or live togetheršŸ„°)
šŸ’¼Occupations: Writer, Poet, Personal trainer, Motivational speaker, Public speaker, An activist of some kind, Family business, Preacher, Blogger, Screenwriter, News reporter, Broadcaster
šŸ’ŒMessages from your future spouse: I can't help myself, Just dance with me, I wish, There's distance between us, So what if we're a thing? Extra cards: Listen, Kitty, Ego, Enchanting, Comment (Yeah they are one with their wordsšŸ’¬ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„)
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!ā¤ļø
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Źš(ļ½”Ėƒ įµ• Ė‚ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the flower bouquet emoji~šŸ’ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Wish you the best and see you in the next readingšŸ’‹
Pile 4šŸŒ·
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Sign energy: Hater, Age, Walk, Leo, 10th house, 7th house, 5th house, Gemini, Moon, Chiron,šŸ§±šŸ¦„šŸ”žšŸ¦„
šŸŒ¹All about your future spouse: There is a lot going on with this pile.šŸ¤Æ Your future spouse is someone very important, on the top of success in their field.šŸ”šŸ’¼ They are charismatic and good with all kinds of people, they know how to gain respectšŸ¤ You guys may have a significant age gap with this person, I'm getting they are older than most of you. My pile 4's feel more youthful, that is the vibe I'm getting from you guys. Your future spouse has a masculine energy and approach to things, very dominant feel. I'm getting model/acting/CEO/millionaire/high up official vibes.āœØļø Take what resonates but I am seeing not everyone will approve of your relationship with them.šŸ˜¬šŸš« For some of you this could be your mom or someone who is protective over you, they may not want you to marry this person. Your future spouse will be very well off in terms of financešŸ’ø I'm getting the vibe they may push you guys away at first, maybe you want to rush into things with them but they don't think you are ready.āœ‹ļøšŸ¤Ø They may put their walls up at first, but eventually they will realize you are worthy and successful in their eyes.šŸ‘‘šŸ’ At first your future spouse will come off dismissive of you since they are used to having many admirers that get on their nerves, your future spouse may have issues with gold diggersšŸ’°šŸ§² I'm seeing people tryna put their hands on them and they're just like šŸ™„ get the fk away. LOL they hate it. Everyone thinks they are one of a kind and want a piece of them, your future spouse will recieve so much attention.šŸ‘€ Also people will be jealous of you and your spouse like why her/him??šŸ˜’šŸ˜¤ Your relationship will be sought after by many. Your future spouse may also take walks often, that could be something you two do together.šŸ„° They will protect and provide for my pile 4's, nothing will get in their way of you guys seriously.šŸ„ŗā¤ļø When you two are finally committed things will get spicy aswellā¤ļøā€šŸ”„
šŸ’¬Initials: W, C, M, T, D
šŸ“Locations: Turkey, Hawaii, Canada, Brazil, Thailand (These can be significant to you or them, or places you meet, travel or live togetheršŸ„°)
šŸ’¼Occupations: Public figure, Business owner, Entertainer, CEO, Entrepreneur, Model, Acting, Investor, Marketer, Producer, Fashion industry, Brand ambassador
šŸ’ŒMessages from your future spouse: You're talking nonsense, Smile for me, We might move too fast, You're my addiction, Listen up (Lol they're like listen here pile 4 you belong to themšŸ˜­šŸ‘‡) Extra cards: Skin, Beach, Compulsive, Beloved, Expand (I'll leave it to you guys imagination on that onešŸ˜³)
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!ā¤ļø
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Źš(ļ½”Ėƒ įµ• Ė‚ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the tulip emoji~šŸŒ· Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Wish you the best and see you in the next readingšŸ’‹
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!šŸ’—šŸŒŠšŸŒø
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/šŸ’Œ -Lunadream <3
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sunflowerskies00 Ā· 1 month
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too sweet, part 6
to go to bed before the daylight
series master list
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liked by lhughes_06, jackhughes, and others
yourusername: quick trip to jersey to see 2/3 of the goons
tagged: lhughes_06 and jackhughes
lhughes_06: the way you refused to wear my jersey
jackhughes: plz she would've worn mine if she wore one yourusername: this is literally why I didn't wear one and have the jacket- so you two goons can't fight _quinnhughes: she wears my jersey when she comes to my games yourusername: QUINTON you weren't supposed to tell them lhughes_06: you wear Quinn's jersey and not mine?? I'm literally you're twin???? jackhughes: this is betrayal in it's worst form yoursername: you guys are so dramatic I can't
_quinnhughes: so you go to jersey but won't come to vancouver?
yourusername: quinn bffr I'm going to be there in like two weeks _quinnhughes: you still went to jersey first yourusername: luke is my twin? we literally shared a womb- i missed my twinny lhughes_06: so basically she's saying I'm the favorite yourusername: not what I said actually lhughes_06: agree to disagree
rutgermcgroarty: so you just go to jersey and forget about all of us?
yourusername: calm down I go 30 seconds without answering a text and it's like the world is over rutgermcgroarty: the world is over yourusername: anyone ever told you ur a drama queen? rutgermcgroarty: hmmmm don't think so yourusername: well then allow me to be the first- ur a drama queen luca.fantilli: y/n spitting facts markestapa: rut we've definitely called you a drama queen before dylanduke25: most dramatic guy I know rutgermcgroarty: i did not come here to be bullied rutermcgroarty: also have we all forgotten edwards exists?? yourusername: fair you guys might be tied for most dramatic edwards.73: i am not dramatic yourusername: yes you are rutgermcgroarty: yes you are markestapa: yes you are luca.fantilli: yes you are dylanduke25: yes you are lhughes_06: you definitely are
alexturcotte_: what a supportive sister
yourusername: fr! i'm the best I know alexturcotte_: best hughes child confirmed trevorzegras: ^real jackhughes: my own friend picking my sister over me. smh you can't trust anyone yourusername: maybe you should just be better jackhughes then they wouldn't pick me
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liked by _quinnhughes and others
yourusername: had to come to vancouver to see huggy bear play *see second photo for what i wore to the game*
jackhughes: still can't believe you wear his jersey but won't wear mine to a game
lhughes_06: seems unfair really yourusername: i am not picking between the two of you so get over it
_quinnhughes: thanks for flying all the way here ā¤ļø
yourusername: thanks for letting me take over your apartment _quinnhughes: anytime kiddo trevorzegras: well isn't this just a wholesome little comment thread _quinnhughes: well it was until you got here trevorzegras: rude _quinnhughes: true
dylanduke25: sooo you're on your back to mich then? we can't handle him anymore
yourusername: he's a big boy he'll be fine yourusername: but yes I'm literally on my way back now rutgermcgroarty: thank god I can't take this moping luca.fantilli: fr pity party of one up in this bitch markestapa: can you ask the pilot to fly faster please? edwards.73: you guys are a pain yourusername: bunch of drama queens
taylorrose: a traveling queen
yourusername: traveling queen sponsored by my rich hockey playing brothers taylorrose: at least they're good for something yourusername: amen lhughes_06: rude jackhughes: rude _quinnhughes: rude
username25: thank you y/n hughes for the captain quinn content
yourusername: anything for the people šŸ«”
edwards.73: come home
yourusername: i'm working on it, i can't make a plane go faster markestapa: whipped rutgermcgroarty: a little bit obvious there dontcha think bud? lhughes_06: wtf is going on trevorzegras: c'mon bud use your brain you can figure it out
username45: so we're all just ignoring these weird exchanges in the comments? cool.
username32: just let them think they're slick
tags: @love4ldr
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moon7jay Ā· 6 months
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omg I'm so in love with the way you write šŸ’–
can you write first time with jungwon but his girlfriend is a bit traumatized by men cause of her bad experience? we really need gentleman jungwon yaay
I rarely write soft sex so bear with me if this isn't as good anon šŸ«”
DELICATE (y.jw)
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MINORS DNI
Warnings : mentions of trauma, panic attack, smut, ig that's all?
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Your mind went blank upon hearing the glass bottle crash on the floor, no longer intact it was shattered into pieces with the perfume it held inside gone to complete waste as the expensive fluid seeped into the carpet.
your hands shook as u heard jungwon's voice calling for u from the other room, your throat tightened and your vision started to become hazy, terror filling up your body, freezing it from inside out. You stayed rooted to your place, your heartbeat sounding too loud in your ears as u heard jungwon's footsteps get closer to where u were.
Panic was beginning to overtake u, your mouth gone dry and hold tightening on the dust cloth you were holding in your hands. Your eyes began to water and it was becoming difficult to breathe
"Baby what was that noise? You okay? " Jungwon's voice sounded muffled to you with the blood rushing to your brain. You looked up at him with distraught eyes as your boyfriend finally noticed the shattered perfume bottle.
His perfume bottle, to be precise.
"I-im so sorry, sorry j-jungwon I'm so s-sorry,it was an a-accident"
his head snapped up at hearing your trembling voice, taking in your shaking figure he took a step forward towards u. This action made u flinch, your trauma induced reflex working faster than u could comprehend, bringing two hands in front of you to protect yourself from the oncoming strike as you let the dust cloth fall to the floor and shrinking yourself in size as u begged for forgiveness.
Jungwon was stunned. What the fuck.
He halted his advance towards u instantly upon seeing how terrified u actually were of him. At the same time, he couldn't just stand there while u sobbed on your own. He slowly approached your crouched figure and took your hands softly in his own, removing them from the front of your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, terrified eyes looking up at him to gauge his next move.
"I'm not going to hurt you baby" He whispered in a soothing tone, hoping it would bring u back. He wanted to puke. Seeing you like this was something he didn't want even in his worst nightmare. You thought he was gonna hit you? You? his sweet little love? he felt an insane urge to scream
Your form stayed frozen, quiet sobs and sniffles coming from your mouth as u stared into his love filled eyes. He loved you. This was your jungwon. He would never hurt you.
"I-ill buy u another, i-i promise I'm so s-sorry, please" u started crying again, fear overtaking all your senses, just the thought that he could stop loving you or leave u over ur stupid mistakes made you cry harder. Why were u such a loser, no wonder your ex didn't love you, no wonder he called you worthless, all u did was destroy things.
"Hey hey hey, look at me y/n, look at me baby-his warm hands cupped your wet face, breaking your inner monologue-i don't care ok? I don't care about that stupid perfume bottle, u can break hundreds of them, here, break this one too I don't give a single fuck"
He grabbed another expensive perfume bottle from his collection behind you and handed it to you
"Just stop crying, I love you, nothing matters more than u y/n, nothing, do u believe me baby? " He asked exasperatedly, his own eyes filling up with moisture just thinking about how deep your past suffering must be for you to react this way. His thumbs continually swiped under your eyes as warm moisture kept seeping from your eyes. But u were beginning to quiet down, nodding slowly,your body had stopped trembling and jungwon took this as a cue to finally wrap your heaving form in his arms. God you were so small, he felt a raging urge to hurt whoever had dared to damage your self esteem in such a drastic way.
He sighed in relief when he felt your arms coming up to wrap around his neck, burying your face in his chest, sniffing quietly.
Jungwon realized that day that you were someone very delicate and fragile at heart. the fact that you had given him the privilege of coming so close to u even after all that u had been through, he thanked his lucky stars for that. You were his baby and he swore to always treat u in a way that would give u no chance of experiencing that hurt ever again.
His hands tightened around your warm, soft body, kissing your head and whispering sweet nothings in your ears, letting u know that he loved you.
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your giggles were like music to his ears, watching you like this was something he could do all day, just listening to you talk about random things and adding his own jokes here and there, making you laugh and hit his shoulder. This was all he wanted. You were all he wanted. and damn did he want u so bad.
He could not focus on what you were saying as his gaze pivoted to your delicious lips, he needed a taste and he needed a taste right now. He leaned towards you and cupped your cheek in his palm. you stopped mid sentence and stared into his eyes nervously, his face was inches from yours and the proximity was making u fidget.
"I want to kiss u baby, please tell me u want that too" He whispered and watched in amusement as you blushed profusely and gave him a small shy smile. A small nod from you was all he needed to capture your tempting lips in his own. The kiss started off as soft, but your taste was addicting as he delved further into your mouth, pressing his tongue against your lips, biting softly on your lower one which made u gasp in his mouth, giving him the chance to protrude his tongue into your warm mouth. Your taste was addicting, he reached deeper, licking into your warm cavity with passion. Your hands fisted the couch material that u were sitting on. The kiss felt so good. You had never been kissed with such want before. you were trying your best to return his passion by tangling your tongue with his own when all of a sudden you felt his other hand beginning to slip under your tank top, caressing your naked skin. Jungwon felt your body stiffen underneath his touch and he stopped his movements immediately, pulling back from the kiss. He heard your sharp inhale before he saw the tears gathering in your eyes. He immediately cupped your face "baby what's wrong, did I make u uncomfortable? " He asked softly, trying to understand your boundaries regarding physical touch.
He knew physical touch didn't come easy to you, it was something you struggled with on the daily and you and jungwon had come a long way from the first day when u flinched even from feeling him hold your hand and now u were wrapped around him like a koala everyday. There was progress and he didn't want to ruin it.
"I-im sorry, I don't know what happened" u whispered, a few tear drops rolling down your eyes. This was your jungwon, he would never do anything to hurt u, u reminded yourself. He cooed and shushed you, kissing your tears away
"It's okay baby, I'm willing to wait for u for however long it takes, do u understand me? " He asked and u nodded. Your arms came up to wrap around his neck and u stared deep into his eyes guiltily
"I don't want you to think that I don't want you, because I do " u whispered but jungwon shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you into his lap.
"Never. and I mean it y/n. Never do something u don't wanna do just because u want to spare my feelings. I love you and I would never forgive myself if I ever became the person u have been running from till now"
His words made u tear up and u buried your head in the crook of his neck. U don't remember for how long he whispered sweet confessions and how proud of you he was in your ear until u eventually drifted off to sleep in his arms.
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You loved kissing jungwon. And u guessed he loved kissing you too because everytime u both were in a close proximity, his mouth was on yours, desperately making out. But the more time you spent in your boyfriend's arms with his tongue in your mouth the more your desire for him deepened. Your thighs desperately rubbing against each other, trying to get some sort of relief from the burning feeling between your legs.
And u knew that jungwon saw it too, u had seen how he would break the kiss to look down at your rubbing thighs and his eyes would darken and he would kiss you harder, messier. But he never dared cross your boundaries even once. His hands staying respectfully above your clothes, caressing your sides or holding your face, never venturing to touch the parts of you that u hadn't given him permission to touch yet.
And you were beginning to feel so safe around him. Jungwon was your safe place, your safe haven. so different from your past. so loving that u weren't used to being desired this way.
His every action screamed his adoration for you, making you gasp at how someone like him could want someone like you. And as much as he wanted you, he respected you. So much so that he taught u how to respect yourself and your emotions.
u weren't used to that. u weren't used to this. and even though everything was new to u and there were so many new feelings to process, you were sure about one thing. u wanted to give yourself to jungwon. u wanted to feel him intimately.
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"um, wonie? " your hesitant voice captured your boyfriend's attention from where he was sitting working on his laptop, atop the couch
"Yeah sweetheart?" He asked u, his eyes looking at your figure sitting in the middle of the bed in nothing but his shirt. you blushed at the nickname and played with the hem of his shirt, making it ride further up your thighs. Your breathing became heavier when u saw how jungwon was ogling at your exposed thighs. One thing about your boyfriend was that he might not be able to touch u with his hands but his eyes were always caressing you every which way. His eyes and lust filled gaze were the reason it had been so difficult for u to control your desires from spiralling like this.
"Do u want to kiss?" u asked shyly, this was the first time u had taken initiative in matters like this
You almost laughed upon watching how fast your boyfriend was shutting down his laptop and sprinting to come close to you on the bed
He made u lie down on your back as he hovered over you, this was the first time u had been underneath him and u could tell that jungwon liked the view
"U know I always wanna kiss u baby, always wanna taste you" He whispered before lowering himself and capturing your lips in his own. You wrapped your arms around his neck, opening your mouth to make way for his tongue, slowly sucking on it, making him groan into your mouth. The sound reached straight between your legs and u were pulling away from the kiss to stare into jungwon's eyes. His panting breaths falling on your face
"Can-can we.. " u trailed off under his intense gaze, suddenly feeling too shy to tell him what u wanted. He sensed that as he bent down to kiss your nose
"Hey, tell me" His soft voice filled with absolute adoration made u more confident
"can we-can we try something new today? " u said, ur eyes looking for a reaction on his face, you bit ur lip when he smirked in shock and joy.
"Yeah? U wanna try something new baby?"
U nodded, pressing yourself closer to his body hovering over yours
"want u so bad won, please take me" u whispered at him and his jaw clenched.
Jungwon cursed under his breath and bent down to suck on the delicate skin of your neck
"Fuck u drive me insane y/n" He whispered, his hands moving down to caress your thighs, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth at his touch but before he could pull his hands away u were holding his hand there by urs.
"I'm okay, I'm okay I promise wonie" u assured him. His grip tightened on the soft flesh of your thighs at your words and he started caressing your flesh.
A sigh escaped from your lips upon feeling his touch, his touch made u feel safe, it didn't make u wanna run away. U closed your eyes and tangled your fingers in his hairs as he sucked small love bites throughout the length of your neck, his palms caressing every inch of naked skin they could find, finally getting the opportunity to grope your pretty body.
His pulled away to gather your shirt on your abdomen, revealing your panties underneath. You heard him curse some profanities while he pushed up the shirt further up your body, revealing your naval which made u bite your lower lip. His fingers prodded at your naval and he looked up at you with a hooded gaze
"Can i? " He asked, his voice heavy with lust and u nodded without asking him what he meant. U just knew that u were ready for whatever it was that he wanted to do. That's the reason why u were caught off gaurd when he started licking your naval, rolling his tongue around the skin of your abdomen, just licking your flesh, making out with it. You fisted the sheets around your head as he continued his ministrations. It felt so good.
His hands reached at the back of your bra and he was asking for your permission again. Soon enough u were left in just your panties, sweet moans filling the bedroom as your boyfriend kept sucking and groaning around your nipples, his hands rubbing over your slit from above your panties. Your fingers were buried in his hairs, pushing him further into ur flesh.
"J-jungwon, please, please" u begged for your boyfriend's touch, feeling your body burning, getting flushed with wanton desire
Jungwon came up to bite your lower lip and groaned at how wet you were, your slick beginning to ooze out from where he was rubbing u over your lace underwear.
"Gonna give u everything u want baby, ask me" he whispered and u moaned at the way his fingers were still pressing on your clit.
"I-inside, won please" you were too far lost into your desire to feel shy any longer. Jungwon looked at you with want, making u drip more. He watched your pretty body heaving and squirming underneath him and his inner beast growled to take and take.
But the way your big, innocent eyes were still fidgeting, his heart felt full of love for you. you were quite literally his everything
"R u sure y/n? We don't have to do this right now, I promise" he kissed your cheek, even though you could feel his hard on pressing against your thighs. You shook your head and kissed him deeply
"I'm sure, I've never been so sure about anything before baby, please make me yours" You whined and jungwon almost came in his pants at the pornographic sounds u were letting out.
Jungwon wanted to eat you out, but the bulge in his pants was starting to hurt, he needed to be wrapped inside your soft and warm pussy folds soon. He lifted himself off of you and finally unbuckled his pants, running his hungry eyes all over your panting figure as he got rid of all his clothes. God he had imagined u like this, naked and pliant underneath him on his bed a lot of fucking times but the real deal was a thousand times better.
You gasped upon seeing his hardened cock and u unconsciously rubbed your thighs together
"That's so big" u moaned and jungwon nodded
"worried it isn't gonna fit sweetheart?"
seeing u nod in worry had him chuckling. He hovered back over your body and inserted his tongue in your mouth while his fingers finally slipped aside your panties and started rubbing your clit in the earnest, swallowing your sinful moans.
Your hands tangled themselves in his locks again and u tugged hard when he inserted a finger in you experimentally, moaning softly
"Fuck, you're fucking soaking baby, so fucking hot" He whispered in your mouth as u continued to squirm and take his fingers in you. One became two , two became three and soon enough you were a blabbering mess, your wet walls clenching around his fingers, making him curse. Jungwon's tongue was tangled with yours when he decided to pull his fingers out of you, bringing the slick coated hand in between your kissing mouths, making you suck and lick on your own wetness while he did the same. Exchanging saliva and your wetness while u both made out messily.
"Taste so good baby, u're driving me crazy" Jungwon groaned, pulling back from your mouth and finally tugging at his cock. Groaning at the momentary relief, precum oozing out of it's slit, just turned on beyond belief. He ran his cockhead over your pussy, bumping your clit with his dick, making u gasp and moan, your hands fisting the sheets as you prepared yourself for the intrusion
"Ready? " He asked, his eyes looked loving as they stared at you, asking for your consent again and it made u fall in love a little harder with him. You nodded with a faint smile and he smiled back at you, coming back to kiss u deeply and lovingly, intertwining his one hand with yours, holding it beside your head while with the other he guided his cock inside of you, finally breaching your entrance in one thrust, swallowing up your screams.
Your hands came up to dig your nails into his shoulders as jungwon pulled out and thrust right back in. snapping his hips against yours with passion. You both stared into each other's eyes, panting and moaning into each other's mouth as he made love to you, your bodies brimming with pleasure
"Feels good yeah?" He groaned, hitting your cervix head on, his cockhead reaching that spot inside of you which made your mouth fall open, too lost in the pleasurable stimulation. u could only nod, bringing him down to kiss you again. Your thighs were covered in your leaking juices, the squelching sounds making it impossible for u to hide your desire. u were impossibly wet
The room was quite except for the skin slapping noises that your lust filled bodies were making, your hips chasing his hips, trying to grind back and moaning out your ecstasy. The tight, wet grip of your pussy around his shaft was making jungwon hungry, hungry for more and he started going deeper in you,wrapping your thigh around his waist. His thrusts remained slow but deep, stroking your insides, making you throb and clench.
Groans and whimpers of pleasure filled the room, whispers of "baby more" and "so good" being exchanged between the passionate sex. This was heaven.
"I love you" u whimpered as you felt yourself unraveling on his cock, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, making him groan at how u deliciously clenched around him, pushing him closer to his own high
"I love u so much baby, your pussy feels so good" He moaned capturing your lips again, fucking you through your orgasm, his hips snapping faster and harder
Needles to say, jungwon took u slow and deep all night long, u both not getting enough of mating and grinding, using your hips to pleasure each other. He fucked u. No.
He made love to you.
He made love to you like u were something delicate, something precious that he needed to handle with care.
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sparklingchim Ā· 1 year
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long way home 26 | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 4.9k
genre: dilf!jungkook, friends to lovers, angst
warnings: ... emotions šŸ«”
summary: the one where decisions are made.
a/n: i can't believe m actually typing this out but we're at the end of lwh !!! thank u to everyone reading this series <3 i love uuuu <3
chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
masterlist | long way home masterlist
ā­’ā˜†ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā”ā˜†ā­’
The coffee shop is eerily tranquil today. There arenā€™t many customers.
Only a few people linger at the tables near the windows and a single person stands in line.
The only loud noise comes from your phone pressed to your ear as Seulgi screams and yells at you.
You definitely should have waited until you entered the break room, because youā€™re afraid Seulgiā€™s voice is loud enough to hear.
ā€œYou promised me you would talk to him!ā€
You close the door with a push of your palm.
ā€œI know, Iā€™m going to.ā€ You sigh and sit down at the table. ā€œI just donā€™t know when exactly.ā€ You sound sheepish, a worried crease appearing between your brows.
"Did he text you at all?ā€
ā€œNo. Why would he? I literally kicked him out of my place.ā€
Seulgi groans at your reminder. ā€œTell me why you did that again?ā€
ā€œSeulgi,ā€ you whine. You need her advice. She had already done the scolding part days ago.
ā€œI know, I know ā€“ I'm sorry,ā€ she replies, softer now ā€“ less accusing.
You fidget with your fingers. ā€œShould I text him?ā€
ā€œNo, thatā€™s not a good approach,ā€ she dismisses.
ā€œAt least itā€™s something,ā€ you retort. You could send him a short message. Though youā€™re not sure what it would contain. Hi, I'm sorry for making you leave, can we pls pls pls talk I miss you. You grimace. Maybe a call would be more suitable.
ā€œY/n,ā€ Seulgi says, snapping you out of your thoughts. ā€œYou know whatā€™s more important than figuring out how to approach a conversation?ā€ She pauses, but you stay silent. ā€œBeing ready to tell him the truth.ā€
You told Seulgi of your feelings for Jungkook the day after he confessed to you. She sat on your couch and watched you intently after you announced in a flustered tone I have to tell you something, right after you had talked about what had happened the day before.
You waited for a reaction, but none came. She had a vacant expression. ā€œI know,ā€ she said then, shrugging nonchalantly. ā€œYou think you were being secretive about it?ā€ A puzzled look spread across her face.
You felt your cheeks grow hot.
ā€œAre you?ā€ Seulgi presses.
ā€œYes. I think I am.ā€
ā€œGood, because this isnā€™t gonna fix itself,ā€ she says. ā€œNot unless you finally have the courage to be honest with him.ā€
Sheā€™s right. And even though itā€™s scary, you have nothing to lose. You have already lost your two favourite people in the world.
ā€œAnd now go and talk to him.ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€ Seulgi canā€™t possibly mean that.
"Go to his place and have a conversation with him.ā€ As if it were that easy.
ā€œIā€™m at work, Seulgi.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re taking a break right now,ā€ she counters.
ā€œYeah, but-ā€
ā€œNo buts,ā€ she interjects. ā€œJust go and get your friend back. Or future boyfriend, whatever.ā€ Seulgi is unwavering. But your doubts and hesitations slowly start to fade. ā€œI canā€™t keep watching you be sad. It breaks my heart,ā€ she adds, in a much smaller voice.
ā€œSeulgi,ā€ you pout. She has seen you at your lowest points, and of course you know that she is compassionate, but when you hear her voice, your throat tightens.
ā€œYouā€™re gonna leave now?ā€ she asks.
Itā€™s a bit hectic and far too spontaneous, but her words have planted determination in your mind. But maybe that is exactly what you need. This way you donā€™t have time to overthink and come up with possible scenarios that make you doubt everything and give you sleepless nights.
ā€œI am.ā€ You take a look at the clock. You still have time left, but itā€™s definitely not nearly enough for walking to Jungkookā€™s apartment and talking to him. You have to do this now. If you postpone it to later, youā€™re not certain if you still have the bravery to do it.
ā€œThe next time you call it better be to tell me that Jungkook is your boyfie.ā€
You ignore her. ā€œIā€™m gonna hang up now, I donā€™t have time. And thank you, really, without you Iā€™d probably never do this.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s what friends are for,ā€ she says warmly. You wish you could hug her.
After the call you leave the break room. There still arenā€™t a lot of customers and youā€™re thankful for that.
ā€œJimin.ā€ You walk up to him. Heā€™s loading cakes into the display case. He gives you a sweet smile.
ā€œHey, uh ā€“ I kinda have something quick to do,ā€ you start, gauging his reaction. ā€œDo you think you could ā€“ Itā€™s just something really important and I donā€™t know if I can do it later and-ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay, y/n,ā€ he interrupts, the smile still on display. ā€œIā€™ll cover for you, no problem. Do what you have to do, there is no rush.ā€
He doesnā€™t ask for a reason. He doesnā€™t ask how long youā€™ll be away. He doesnā€™t ask any questions. You would pull him into a hug if you werenā€™t in such a hurry.
You tug at the tie of your apron at your back and pull it off your body. Jimin reaches out to you and you hand him your black apron.
ā€œThank you. I promise Iā€™ll be back soon!ā€
You donā€™t know the outcome of this, but you will take the initiative and at least try to make things better than they have been the last couple weeks.
Youā€™re a little hopeful, and you have yet to find out if you are foolish for that.
With your heart pounding in your ears, you rush out of the coffee shop.
~
The walk from the coffee shop to Jungkookā€™s apartment isnā€™t that long, but it gives you time to question your choice.
You stand in the elevator of Jungkookā€™s apartment building, wondering whether you should press the button that will take you back down.
Earlier, a guy walked out of the building when you were about to ring Jungkookā€™s doorbell. You were able to slip into the building without announcing your presence to Jungkook. You feel more comfortable this way, though your hands start feeling clammy.
The elevator stops at Jungkookā€™s floor. The steps that lead you to his apartment door are uncertain, ready to turn and sprint down the stairs.
But you didnā€™t come here just to run away. You want things to be good between Jungkook and you.
You take a deep breath and press the doorbell.
A few seconds pass. Then, the door opens.
Jungkook stands in front of you. His long, dark hair is a fluffy and wavy mess on top of his head, adorned with little wispy flyaways around his face. Heā€™s in casual clothes ā€“ black sweatpants combined with an oversized white pullover.
He seems startled to see you.
ā€œHi,ā€ you say, a little breathless.
ā€œHi.ā€ His usual mellow lilt carries a rare hesitancy.
ā€œDo you have time to talk?ā€ A lump forms in your throat and you swallow it down.
ā€œYeah, sure.ā€ He makes room for you to enter and closes the door behind you. You change into a pair of slippers and follow Jungkook to the living room.
ā€œIs Nabi sleeping?ā€ You canā€™t help but ask. You kind of hoped to see her. You missed her and maybe she couldā€™ve eased your nervousness a little.
ā€œI put her down for a nap a while ago.ā€ Jungkook sits down next to you on the couch, a considerable distance between you. He glances at the clock hanging on the wall. ā€œShe should be up soon, though.ā€
When his eyes draw back to you, you feel a little helpless. You remind yourself of what Seulgi told you. This isnā€™t gonna fix itself.
After sorting the chaos in your head, you say, ā€œI wanted to apologise for being so selfish all the time.ā€
Jungkook parts his lips to speak, but you continue before he can say anything. ā€œIā€™ve never fully tried to look at things from your perspective and narrowed my mind to what I thought was the best solution.ā€ You pull your sleeves over your hands. ā€œIt shouldnā€™t have been that way.ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay,ā€ Jungkook replies, flashing you a tiny smile that disappears soon after. ā€œIt doesnā€™t matter anymore.ā€
ā€œI shouldnā€™t have made you leave. That was heedless and inconsiderate of me,ā€ you admit, biting your lip in guilt. ā€œYou opened up to me and I didnā€™t know what to do. There was a lot in my mind, and I just needed some space for a moment ā€“ I'm sorry, truly.ā€ You avert your gaze to the carpet. ā€œI honestly didnā€™t prepare what to say, I just ā€“ I left work because I needed to talk to you.ā€
ā€œWhy do you sacrifice so much for me?ā€
He insinuates more than leaving work in the middle of your shift.
A string tugs at your heart. Jungkook was honest with you, itā€™s time to be honest with him too ā€“ and maybe to yourself as well. Itā€™s time to acknowledge the feelings you hold for him in a hidden little niche of your heart.
Itā€™s difficult to bare that part of you when youā€™re so used to hiding it.
ā€œBecause I love you.ā€
You said it. And you mean it. Wholeheartedly so.
You canā€™t foreshadow his response and what will happen, but youā€™re glad you said it. The relief that courses through you was worth it.
Jungkookā€™s stare is intense. You donā€™t know if itā€™s the intensity of his stare or what youā€™ve just confessed, but every single bone inside of you feels ignited. Youā€™re burning from the inside with sheer anxiety darting through you, while Jungkook remains silent.
Your words hang in the air, so simple and yet so daunting.
Jungkookā€™s pierced eyebrow twitches. He opens his mouth but not a single sound passes his lips.
You donā€™t blame him. Three days ago you shooed him away after he told you the exact same thing. In retrospect, you deeply regret that decision. But at that moment, you were overwhelmed and needed to be alone. Sort your thoughts. And then talk to him again.
You shift in your seat. ā€œJungkook.ā€ Itā€™s a soft murmur of his name, a trace of pity and urge creeping in your voice.
The spark leaves Jungkookā€™s eyes and he casts his gaze away. ā€œIt doesnā€™t change that you made me leave. You still donā€™t want anything to do with me. Right?ā€
You shake your head vehemently. But he is still not looking at you, so you say, ā€œThatā€™s not true.ā€ You sit closer to him, fingers curling against the fabric of his sweater on his elbow. ā€œThat night was overwhelming for me. I made a mistake when I told you to leave, but I didnā€™t know what else to do.ā€ Doe eyes lock with yours. You realise how much you missed his glimmering eyes that hold the night sky within them. ā€œI wouldnā€™t be here if I didnā€™t want you back in my life, Jungkook.ā€ His sweater crumples into a tiny ball in your palm. ā€œI missed you.ā€
His answer is immediate. ā€œI missed you too.ā€
Your chest feels light. A giddy warmth encloses you like a blanket.
ā€œIā€™m sorry. For the way I acted,ā€ you say.
ā€œItā€™s okay. Youā€™ve already apologised.ā€ He looks down at your hand grasping his sweater. You should let go, but even the smallest hint of physical touch feels reassuring.
ā€œI know but I just ā€“ I just think weā€™re equally as responsible for how things have turned out.ā€
Jungkook nods. ā€œYeah, definitely.ā€ With a sigh he leans back. His tatted fingers vanish in his dark hair as he cascades through them.
ā€œI really wanna try this. I want to be with you.ā€
He unclasps your fingers from his sweater and holds your hand. Itā€™s an innocent, small gesture and still, your skin buzzes with delight.
ā€œY/n.ā€ The way he whispers your name, tender and careful, as if not to break you. ā€œDonā€™t you realise how much more you deserve?ā€
Your brows furrow. ā€œBut...ā€ You squeeze his hand. ā€œYouā€™re all Iā€™ve ever wanted.ā€ His thumb strokes the back of your hand.
ā€œI promised myself to get over you after we graduated high school,ā€ you tell. ā€œBut that clearly never happened.ā€ Looking at both your hands you feel silly for ever thinking you could suppress your feelings for Jungkook.
ā€œHigh school?ā€ he inquires.
You feel small beneath his sharp gaze. ā€œWell, yeah.ā€ You shrug. ā€œYouā€™re like. Really pretty.ā€ Heat crawls up into your cheek. ā€œAnd we hung out like 24/7. It was not that hard to fall for you.ā€
ā€œI mean, same.ā€ The corner of Jungkookā€™s mouth tilts upwards.
Your lips form a tiny ā€˜oā€™. He has feelings for you since high school? It doesnā€™t make sense. ā€œBut you never shut up about how weā€™re such good friends,ā€ you accuse him. All these years. And you didnā€™t know.
ā€œOh, yeah. That was...ā€ He trails off.
ā€œThat was what?ā€ You level him with a raised brow.
You see the struggle in Jungkookā€™s eyes. You donā€™t want to push him, but there are no more lies between you, no more secrets and untruths. You want only total honesty from now on.
ā€œI thought I wasnā€™t good enough. That you deserved more.ā€
You shake your head in denial. ā€œWhy would you ever think that?ā€ The years you spent with him as a teenager are full of happy memories. There were no big fights, and you donā€™t think you ever said or did something that made him feel that way. Heā€™s been your best friend for so long. You love him just the way he is. ā€œDid I ever make you feel like that?ā€
ā€œYour father once told me not to try to pursue anything more than friends with you,ā€ he explains hesitantly. ā€œThatā€™s why Iā€™ve always talked about being such good friends.ā€
ā€œHe said what.ā€ Youā€™re stunned. What was your dad thinking?
Jungkook pulls your hands to his lap. ā€œHe only meant the best for you at the time.ā€ He remains calm but little bubbles of anger prick at your skin.
ā€œI donā€™t care what he was thinking.ā€ You scowl, lips drawn into an angry pout. ā€œSo youā€™re telling me that if my dad hadnā€™t said anything, we wouldā€™ve-ā€
ā€œDonā€™t get mad now,ā€ he interrupts, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tucks an errant strand of hair behind you ear. ā€œYour dad didnā€™t have any ill intend. I know we couldā€™ve saved us a lot of time and misunderstandings but looks at us. Years later and weā€™re still in love. It doesnā€™t matter if in high school or now. Itā€™s the same love. Just - ā€œJungkook flashes you a cute smile. ā€œI think the only thing that has changed is that I love you even more.ā€
You bite down your lip. This. This is all youā€™ve ever wanted.
ā€œBeing apart from you was terrible,ā€ you say, scooting closer to him. ā€œI spent so much time thinking about you, you know that?ā€
He chuckles. ā€œI think I do. You never leave my mind, y/n.ā€ His hand around yours feels strong, protective.
ā€œNever?ā€ You ask tentatively. Looking at him through your lashes.
ā€œNo,ā€ he confirms, a subtle, gentle shake of his head. ā€œNever.ā€
Youā€™re not even that close to him, but your entire body prickles at the proximity of Jungkook. The weeks without him have made you forget how it feels when youā€™re with him and now your body reacts to it like anticipating the last book of a fantasy series.
You need him closer than this. And itā€™s almost as if Jungkook can hear your thoughts, because he lets go of your hand and instead pulls you by your waist into his side. His hand lingers at your waist. And you might just feel like your skin is on fire.
ā€œI like this better.ā€ Jungkookā€™s voice is low, and so so close, it sends shivers down your spine.
ā€œMe too,ā€ you mumble. You have your chin propped up against his arm, looking at him with a small smile. You grow shy beneath his gaze, and you donā€™t even know why. ā€œIā€™ve always wanted this.ā€ You clasp your hands around his arm.
ā€œGood,ā€ Jungkook agrees, voice an octave deeper. Oh. More goose bumps. ā€œBecause Iā€™ve always dreamt of this too.ā€
His other hand comes up to your face. He cups your cheek so delicately, the warmth of his palm is a soothing distraction from your racing heart.
Jungkookā€™s eyes dart between your eyes and lips, a question floating in the air that he is too afraid to ask.
ā€œJungkook.ā€ Itā€™s a plea, a request a yes, please kiss me and make me forget the world for just a moment.
Jungkook bends down. Your heart thumps against your chest and when you feel the softest hint of his mouth against yours, it stops beating.
The kiss is brief, gentle. A mere brush of your lips. Your eyes flutter open when Jungkook pulls back again, just the tiniest bit. He gives your waist a squeeze. His lips left a glimmer of tingles on your lips, and you ache for more.
ā€œI spent so long waiting for this moment I was worried fate might never let me have you,ā€ he whispers against your lips.
ā€œYou have me, Jungkook.ā€ It leaves your mouth like a promise. ā€œIā€™m here.ā€
Your hands loop around his neck and you surge forward, pulling Jungkook into another kiss. He moves his lips against yours in a practiced manner, as though you did that every single day of your lives. Like he is the missing piece of your heart to make you whole again.
Jungkook tugs you closer to him. You raise to your knees and throw a leg over Jungkookā€™s thigh. He follows your movements with his mouth, the softness in the beginning switching into a frantic, messy kiss.
You sit on his thigh, hands diving into his fluffy hair. You pull at some strands when he bites down your lip, moan into his mouth when he pushes you closer at your lower back and you graze over his thigh. With every sweep of his lips, another broken bone of your body mends.
You never want this moment to end.
You didnā€™t know you needed this so desperately, but now that youā€™re in Jungkookā€™s embrace you never want to let him go. Just you two, forever.
But then a sudden cry blares through the apartment.
Jungkook draws back. His forehead is against yours.
You two need a second to come back to the real world. The afterglow clouds your rational thoughts like the night setting after a beautiful summer day.
Your breathing is laboured, so is Jungkookā€™s. Your hands slide down to his neck and down to his shoulders.
ā€œNabi woke up from her nap.ā€ His nose scrunches at Nabiā€™s wailing. He plants a tiny smooch on your lips, lingering close for a chaste moment before he gets you off his thigh.
You think about waiting until he returns with Nabi, but you canā€™t wait to see her tiny, bubbly form after so long.
Before Jungkook leaves the room, you scramble to your feet and reach for his hand. ā€œI missed her,ā€ you whine and Jungkook leads you to the nursery with a promising squeeze of his hand.
When you follow Jungkook into Nabiā€™s room, you take tentative steps towards her crib. Nabi is curled up in her little blankets, her round doe eyes shimmering with tears. Instinctually, you coo at her sight. Your heart softens.
ā€œWanna hold her?ā€ Jungkook asks. His eyes never left you since you entered the room.
You nod ā€“ way too animatedly ā€“ and you think you see a smile spreading across Jungkookā€™s face out of the corner of your eye.
Ever so gently, you swoop Nabi into your embrace. Her little sobs ring throughout the room and nip straight at your heart. ā€œMy baby,ā€ you murmur. You rock her in your arms. ā€œI missed you so, so much.ā€ She is wearing her baby bear romper, the material a fuzzy brown with two little bear ears attached to the hood.
Nabi is a small, fluffy bear and youā€™ve missed this tiny human so enormously.
Her doe eyes ā€“ an exact replication of her dadā€™s ā€“ stare up at you. The cries subside into whimpers, her puffy lips trembling.
ā€œNabi.ā€ Her name bubbles past your lips in a whisper. You brush your knuckle against her doughy cheek. ā€œDo you remember me?ā€ She blinks through her thin, wet eye lashes. Having her in your arms unfolds a gloomy feeling in your chest. Yes, you are happy to see her again, but how were you able to spend more than two weeks without her?
ā€œAre you crying?ā€ Jungkook suddenly asks, stepping forward.
Itā€™s only then you discern the tears pricking your eyes. ā€œNo,ā€ you deny, sniffing a little.
A soft chuckle springs from his chest. Jungkook stands behind you, nuzzling his head to the side of your face. His burly arms envelop your waist. ā€œDonā€™t cry,ā€ he mutters. He faintly nudges your cheek with his nose. ā€œYouā€™ll never be separated from her again.ā€
ā€œI wouldnā€™t survive that.ā€ Your lower lip juts out as youā€™re in awe with Nabiā€™s cuteness. She has your heart.
ā€œShe wouldnā€™t either,ā€ Jungkook retorts. His hushed timbre so close to your ear is drawing you back to him. You slowly rest your head against his chest. His voice. You could listen to him talk for hours with no end. ā€œNabi wouldnā€™t settle for sleep if she didnā€™t have some of your clothes in her bed.ā€
With a quick tilt of your head, you glance up at him. And then your eyes travel to Nabiā€™s crib. You see something in a lavender colour peeking from underneath Nabiā€™s blanket. A top you must have left here.
You thought you had successfully managed to restrain your tears, but here you are again, with new tears stinging your eyes.
ā€œYou can't just say that.ā€ Dolour cloaks your voice. ā€œItā€™s gonna make me cry.ā€
ā€œSweetheart.ā€ He pecks the crown of your head. ā€œItā€™s okay now.ā€ Thereā€™s a hint of amusement swirling in his tone. But his touches on your body are soft, soothing.
Nabi has gone completely silent in your grasp. You boop her nose. A smile unfurls on your face. So little. A broad smile blossoms on Nabi as a reaction, pudgy cheeks scrunching her twinkling eyes. The absolute sweetest giggle sparks from her. Your heart clenches at the sound.
But then your eyes spot her reddened gums and the faint white outlines of her teeth.
You gasp. ā€œShe is growing teeth already?ā€ With a swift whirl of your head, you stare at Jungkook, eyes wide.
ā€œYeah, and sheā€™s been really fussy about it.ā€
ā€œOh my God,ā€ you utter, looking at the little baby in your arms whoā€™s growing up too fast. A subliminal melancholy sets in your tummy. ā€œShe was just a tiny baby and now she has teeth?ā€ You ask, appalled.
ā€œNot yet,ā€ Jungkook says. ā€œBut it doesnā€™t matter how fast she grows ā€“ she will be my little baby forever.ā€ Nabiā€™s eyes are drawn to Jungkook as he speaks. ā€œIsnā€™t that right? Hm?ā€ He leans over your shoulder, squishing her doughy cheek with his fingers. Nabi squeals, another smile displayed on her mouth.
You give Jungkook a kiss on his cheek. His eyes are sparkling just like Nabiā€™s. Jungkook turns his face to you. ā€œAnd you,ā€ ā€“ his lips brush over the corner of your mouth ā€“ ā€œYou will be my baby forever too.ā€
You laugh against his mouth.
ā€œWhat.ā€ He raises his brows, a pleased expression on his face.
ā€œYouā€™re silly.ā€
ā€œNo, Iā€™m not.ā€ He pulls you closer to him. Your back is flush against his lean body.
ā€œIā€™m just saying the truth.ā€
ā€œOh, yeah?ā€ Playfulness flashes in your eyes.
He gives you a firm nod. ā€œYeah.ā€ Jungkook gently strokes your hair over your shoulder. Your skin tingles when his digits unintendedly skim over your neck.
ā€œTell me another then.ā€
ā€œI love you.ā€ He didnā€™t let a second pass before answering. ā€œIā€™m so incredibly in love with you.ā€
Your heart flutters in your chest. ā€œI love you.ā€
His loving eyes bore into your soul. No one has ever looked at you the way Jungkook does. Like you are beautiful, a work of art.
A deep warmth of domesticity floats in the air. Itā€™s a vast contrast to how you have been feeling in the past days.
You share a sweet kiss with him, but it gets quickly disrupted by demanding babbling from beneath you.
"Yes, I love you too, missy,ā€ Jungkook says, brushing her thin hair from her forehead. Her brows are deeply furrowed. He gives her a kiss there. Nabiā€™s trembling pout changes into a beam. ā€œAlways needy of attention, huh?ā€
ā€œJust like her daddy,ā€ you tease, grinning at Jungkook, before you leave the nursery with Nabi.
Jungkook catches your waist in the hallway. ā€œYouā€™re right,ā€ he admits, a smirk curving his lips. He pulls you into his side as he walks you to the kitchen. ā€œThatā€™s why I donā€™t wanna spent any second of my life apart from you anymore.ā€ Jungkook pecks your forehead.
A shy smile sets on your mouth. You sir down at the dining table and watch Jungkook opening a cupboard with Nabiā€™s food.
Nabi has found interest in playing with your hair, occasionally tugging at it.
ā€œNot a single second?ā€ you ask mindlessly, eyes focused on Nabi.
ā€œIā€™m being serious.ā€ He pops open a jar. ā€œYā€™know what.ā€ Jungkook turns around to you. ā€œYou should move in with me.ā€
Your head snaps to him.
You search for a hint that tells you that he doesnā€™t actually mean it, but Jungkook doesnā€™t budge.
ā€œI mean it,ā€ he confirms.
ā€œI canā€™t just move out of my apartment like that,ā€ you reason.
Jungkook shrugs. ā€œJust stay with me.ā€
It sounds so simple from his lips. And maybe it is. Seulgi has already taught you today the simplicity of just acting without overthinking too much beforehand.
ā€œThat way Minjun canā€™t bother you anymore.ā€ Something flashes in Jungkookā€™s eyes. ā€œNext time I see him Iā€™m gonna break his neck.ā€
You ponder for a second. ā€œI mean, I spent most of my time here anyway,ā€ you say. ā€œBut lets not rush anything.ā€ You donā€™t want this to be ruined before it has even properly started.
ā€œOf course, baby.ā€ He turns to the counter again. ā€œOnly if you want.ā€
You watch from behind as he prepares Nabiā€™s food. The contours of his shoulder muscles flexing with his movements conjure butterflies in your tummy. Hm. Maybe you should consider moving in if this is what youā€™ll get to see every day.
ā€œWaking up next to you for the rest of my life sounds like a dream, honestly,ā€ Jungkook flirts. You donā€™t have to see him to know heā€™s grinning annoyingly.
Youā€™re glad he doesnā€™t see the way your teeth involuntarily sink into your bottom lip at his teasing voice.
ā€œYour daddy can be insufferable sometimes,ā€ you whisper conspiratorially, looking down at Nabi. She babbles something in return. You giggle and Nabi squeals in delight.
ā€œWhat are my girls talking about?ā€ Jungkook asks.
ā€œNone of your concern.ā€
You hear him huff. Suddenly, you remember that you left work during your shift. And that you promised Jimin to be back as soon as possible.
ā€œJungkook,ā€ you gasp. He immediately turns to you. ā€œI have to go back to work. Jimin is covering for me, but I've left him for way too long. I-ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay, Iā€™ll drive you back.ā€ Jungkookā€™s calm voice works like a miracle cure for your panic. ā€œIā€™ll just feed Nabi real quick and then we can leave.ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t have to. I can walk back.ā€
ā€œI want to,ā€ Jungkook says. ā€œBesides, we can eat our cookies again. Itā€™s been so long since Iā€™ve eaten one.ā€
ā€œI havenā€™t eaten one in so long as well.ā€ The last time was together with Jungkook.
Jungkook blinks perplexed. ā€œHow have you survived until now?ā€ He closes the distance between you, the back of his hand against your forehead. ā€œAre you sure youā€™re okay?ā€
You roll your eyes and swat his arm. ā€œIā€™m perfectly fine.ā€
ā€œWhy are you on a cookie diet?ā€
ā€œReminded me too much of you,ā€ you mumble.
ā€œBaby,ā€ Jungkook coos. His knuckles trace the skin of your cheek. ā€œIā€™m sorry. Iā€™ll buy you as many as you want.ā€
You grin mischievously. ā€œFor the rest of my life?ā€
ā€œOf course.ā€
ā€œDaaa,ā€ Nabi gurgles.
ā€œYes, Iā€™ll buy you as many cookies you want too, once you grow your teeth.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s gonna be so soon.ā€ You pout.
ā€œWeā€™ll always have time to make a second b-ā€
ā€œJungkook hurry.ā€ You push him away. ā€œPoor Jimin is covering for me, and Nabi is gonna starve.ā€
ā€œOkay, okay,ā€ he replies, though he doesnā€™t go back until he traps your mouth in a tender kiss. Itā€™s a short kiss, but it messes with every coherent thought in your brain.
You wait for Jungkook to bring Nabiā€™s warm food. He opens the cutlery drawer and fishes out her tiny, pink spoon.
You smile when you think about the phone call youā€™re gonna have with Seulgi later. The next time you call it better be to tell me that Jungkook is your boyfie.
The ambiance is cosy ā€“ Nabi snuggled up in your arms, Jungkook sending cute smiles your way as he gets her food ready ā€“ a feeling of utter contentment that has your whole body at peace.
Itā€™s been a long way to get here, but you finally feel at home.
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zhaosbin Ā· 1 month
Note
what about fwb with gyuvin?? AND MAYBE HIGHSCHOOL AU!! like everybody thinks that you are just friends but in private it's something else..
ohhh i'm obsessed with this idea...THANK U ANONšŸ«”
just friends ā€” k. gyuvin
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summary: to your peers, you and gyuvin were the best of friends...only you and gyuvin knew how far that friendship really went
reader: gyuvin x afab reader
warnings: fwb, dom!gyuvin, sub!reader, sex in a janitors closet lol, MINORS DNI
the dreaded day had finally come...monday. to make this particular monday more bearable, you and your friend hanbin had decided to meet up at a cafe before school started. you both order a small iced coffee and sit down at a booth nearby for a few minutes.
"did you study for mrs. choi's exam yet?" your friend asked you curiously. you quickly snap your head to look at him.
"we had an exam?" you say with an almost terrified look on your face. your friend, being used to ur laziness when it comes to school, simply laughed at you and offered to help you study as he always did.
"maybe if you weren't so busy with gyuvin, you would've known" hanbin says while giggling. you roll your eyes at your friend. everybody knew you and gyuvin were best friends, almost inseparable these days. it didn't stop them from teasing you both about it though.
"i already told you, there's nothing going on between us. we're just best friends"! you semi shout while hitting hanbin with you bag.
of course, you didn't like lying to your best friend. but you couldn't exactly tell him you were fucking one of his closest friends, could you?
ā€”
you walk into your fourth period class exhausted. of course you got stuck with gym first period and had to go the rest of the day sweaty and tired. you take your seat next to your desk mate gunwook and you two casually talk about your days before the teacher comes in and begins the lesson.
unfortunately, the subject being taught right now was math. you couldn't care less about fractions and exponents right now. not when your phone was blowing up with text messages and calls. you knew right away who it was.
from: gyuvin šŸ‘¹
y/n
y/nnnnn
can you come to the west wing?
please
it's important
answer me
from: y/nšŸ«£
gyuvin i am literally in class
you were surprised when your needy "best friend" didn't immediately answer your message. putting your phone away, you went back to trying to figure out what ur teacher was even teaching.
a few moments later, a rather hard knock on the door snapped you out of your trance. the teacher looked annoyed until he opened the door to see his favorite student. kim gyuvin.
"im sorry sir, may i borrow y/n for a yearbook picture"? gyuvin says with a perfect smile on his perfect face.
you have to stop your jaw from hitting the floor. you cannot believe the nerve of this guy. the teacher, who absolutely ADORES gyuvin, immediately nods and motions at you to gather your stuff.
you both leave the classroom as gyuvin shoots the teacher a wave and another award winning smile. when the door finally shuts, you immediately slap his shoulder.
"are you crazy! what could possibly be this important?" you shout at him in the empty hallway.
gyuvin immediately pulls you to the closest janitors closet. he takes your hand and you look at him confused, until he places it on his very obvious boner.
"im sorry, i just couldn't stop thinking about being inside you again" gyuvin says casually like it's something normal.
you shake your head in disbelief, but you couldn't lie to yourself, just the thought of you making him hard was a huge turn on.
gyuvin could tell you were slipping into your submissive role already, the state he most adored you in. he placed a stray hair behind your ear and smiled at you.
"do you wanna help me out?" gyuvin asked with those beautiful puppy dog eyes. although u could tell he really needed this right now, you know he wouldn't force you into anything you didnt want to do.
instead of responding, you pull him in for a long and heated kiss. what started out slow and innocent turned into gyuvin shoving you against one of the shelves in the closet.
you gasp as your back hits the shelf. while part of you wanted gyuvin to publicly be yours, you couldn't deny how exciting it was having these secret sessions only the two of you knew about.
gyuvin moves from your lips down to your neck, being careful not to leave any noticeable marks there.
growing impatient, you nudge your knee against his crotch as he lets out a deep groan. gyuvin giggles at your lack of control and quickly gives in and lifts up your skirt. yeah, this was definitely his favorite part of the uniforms you guys had to wear.
he moves your panties to the side and immediately feels the wetness between your legs. you let out a sweet whimper, possibly one of gyuvin's favorite sounds in the world.
he slowly rubbed circles around your clit just to get you to relax a bit more. this only continued for a few minutes because he was simply too impatient. he needed to be inside you again.
helping him undo his belt, he quickly gets rid of his pants and throws them somewhere behind him. he then takes out a condom and rolls it onto his length, fingers fumbling due to his speed.
gyuvin gives you another sweet kiss as you feel him finally enter you. he groans at the feeling of your tight walls around his throbbing cock.
knowing the last time he was inside you was only two days ago, he wastes no time in fucking you mercilessly against the shelf.
your latch on to him and rest your forehead on his chest, his strong arms holding you up.
"fuck, you always feel so good around my cock baby" gyuvin pants almost breathlessly.
you moan in return, barely able to speak a sentence due to his cock hitting all the right spots inside of you.
trying to focus on something, you glance down at his hands. those veiny fucking hands.
as of gyuvin could read your mind, he wraps one of them around your throat. you knew it was game over for you.
"gyuvin i-im cumming" you're barely able to spit out before your orgasm shakes ur entire body. knowing you can get loud when you cum, he takes the hand that was around your throat and places it over your mouth.
"hold on baby, im almost done" gyuvin says as he kisses your forehead. he only manages to get a few more thrusts in before he's cumming with a deep moan.
he pumps into you a few more times before finally pulling out and helping you to stand. when you guys make eye contact again, you both let out a laugh. you couldn't believe this was your life.
after you both clean up the best you can, you exit the janitors closet together. when you step outside, you see hanbin standing on the other side of the hallway, a look of disbelief but also humor on his face.
"I KNEW IT!" he shouts loud enough for anyone passing by to hear. you and gyuvin look at each other and he grabs your hand.
"let's just make it official" he says with a look of adoration on his face.
176 notes Ā· View notes
nevvdrinksteaa Ā· 2 months
Text
history // charlie walker
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~~
pairing: charlie walker x reader
original prompt: youā€™re paired with charlie walker for a school project, it gets dirty
warnings: 18+ nsfw smut, porn WITH plot, afab!reader, slight angst (charlie thinks you hate him for like 5 whole minutes) pet names, oral (male and female), dom!reader, sub!charlie, begging, making out, fingering, whatever the fuck itā€™s called when you grind against sheets to make yourself c*m, overuse of the nickname ā€˜charā€™, never written for dom!reader before (bare w me), no specific reference to body type !! please let me know if i forgot anything!
word count: 3.1k
this is NOT proof read so if there are any mistakes ignore them! i believe that anyone of any shape or size and anyone of color can enjoy this. i donā€™t believe there is any description of physical appearance (please please correct me if iā€™m wrong, i donā€™t want to make assumptions about anything!!)
please send in more stuff for me to write because iā€™m in the mood to zoom šŸ«”
~~~
1:40 PM
you sat in history, your last period class, shaking your pencil hearing it tap, tap, tap with every move. eyes trained on the clock wishing the last twenty minutes would fly by quicker, eager to get your weekend started.
ā€œfor this project, you are all going to be in partnersā€
everyone shot up from their bored positions at their desks, starting conversations with friends deciding whoā€™s working with who. you look over at your best friend, grinning.
ā€œsettle down, your partners were pre-chosen. i think we need some variety in the groups we seeā€
the class started to groan as the teacher stated that the partner lists were posted on the board, stating specifics on the projects and that it will be due on monday. everyone started to get up from their seats to check the list on the corkboard at the front of the room. you started to write down ideas, assuming your partner would find you.
of course itā€™s due monday, there goes my weekend. whatā€™s the point of your parents going out of town if-
ā€œuhm hey, i think weā€™re partnersā€
you look up, noticing charlie walker standing at the front of your desk, looking at the floor in front of him.
ā€œyou think or you checked the list and know?ā€ you smirk at him, giggling to yourself.
ā€œyou got me there, i saw it on the listā€ he states, settling in the chair beside you.
he started rambling, talking about ideas he has for the project.
ā€œokay charlie, here's the dealā€ you state bluntly, ā€œmy parents arenā€™t home for the weekend and i really want to get this project finished as soon as possible so i can have friends over on saturdayā€
he was taken back at your tone, shocked at the rude nature. he figured you didnā€™t like him, and wanted to get it over as soon as possible so you didnā€™t have to be seen with him. why else were you so angry when you had always been so sweet to everyone? werenā€™t you two friends?
ā€œwell we can do it after school and work on it today, iā€™m good at history so we should finish it really soonā€ he says quietly, trailing off towards the end.
ā€œperfectā€ you say, grabbing your phone and handing it to the boy. ā€œgive me your number and i can text you my addressā€
the final bell rings and the class starts to gather their things. you sit up from your spot at the desk, collecting your books to leave. ā€œiā€™ll shower when i get home and you can come over after, does three work?ā€
ā€œsounds good.ā€ he doesnā€™t look up from the desk as heā€™s still writing down notes.
ā€œsee you later, charā€ you say, giving him a smile he doesnā€™t notice.
walking back to your locker, you catch yourself thinking about him and how awkward he is, finding it indearing. you were excited to work on your project with him, you had a crush on him for a while and you hadnā€™t had any courage to say anything to him.
you grab your things and start the trek to your car, stopping your friend to tell her about your plans for today on your way out.
ā€œthe universe is giving you signs partnering you up with charlie, maybe itā€™s time to tell him about your crush.ā€ she says, shoving her shoulder into yours as she walks.
ā€œyeah right, heā€™s so infatuated with kirby i would just embarrass myself if i told him i liked him.ā€ you state rolling your eyes. ā€œheā€™d laugh in my face probablyā€
ā€œheā€™s too sweet to do all thatā€ your friend says stopping once you reach her car, ā€œcharlie walker is probably not the type of person to be rude about letting someone down, heā€™d probably say thank you and talk about a movie thatā€™s about to come outā€
she unlocks her car as you laugh at her joke, trying to ease the nerves in your stomach. you wave goodbye and turn to leave, hearing your friend shout out her window ā€œdonā€™t do anything i wouldnā€™t doā€
you laugh as you walk to your car, sitting in the drivers seat and starting it before heading home.
maybe sheā€™s right, i should just say something.
~~~
you wipe the steam off of the bathroom mirror after stepping out of the shower, skin red from the burning shower you took. you start to pat your damp skin dry before you heard a knock on your door. checking the time to see it was 2:45. fuck, heā€™s early.
you wrap yourself with the towel tightly before you start down the steps to answer the front door.
ā€œheyā€ charlie starts, face starting to get beat red after noticing you in a towel. you notice him start to fidget with his hands.
ā€œyouā€™re early charā€ you say opening the door wider and waving him in. ā€œyou can wait in my room while i get dressed, itā€™s upstairs next to the bathroomā€
you both start to walk up the steps and you point to the right when you get to the top. ā€œitā€™s on the door on the left, get comfortable and iā€™ll be right thereā€
you hear charlie hum and grip the strap on his bag before he turns to your room. you step into the bathroom and finish getting dressed, drying your skin and putting on comfortable shorts and a crop top. you head back to your room and stand in the doorway, noticing charlie with his back to the door, looking at the pictures and vinyls hung on your walls.
ā€œyouā€™re not going to steal anything, are you?ā€ you tease, sitting on the middle of your bed with your bag, pulling out your history books.
ā€œof course notā€ charlie says, ā€œjust looking at all your stuffā€
he takes a seat across from you, where he had preset his books and notes from class. you grab your phone and turn on some music, asking if the choice was okay and a hum of approval in response.
ā€œso, where should we start?ā€ you ask.
~~~
you guys worked on your project for about an hour before you heard your stomach growl. you drop your pencil and look up at charlie who was scribbling away. ā€œare you hungry, char?ā€ you ask
he hummed no at your question and you started to get anxious at his lack of response, he normally would talk your ear off about anything and everything. ā€œis everything okay?ā€
ā€œyeah, why wouldnā€™t it be?ā€
ā€œyouā€™re just really quiet today, i wanted to make sure everything is alright with you.ā€
ā€œi just want to finish this project so iā€™ll get out of your hair, i know that you donā€™t really want me aroundā€
his response caught you very off guard. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, shaking your head back and forth softly. ā€œwhat are you talking about?ā€
he shrugged his shoulders, not looking up from his lap.
ā€œchar, look at meā€ he looked up at you, trying hard to keep eye contact. ā€œwhy would you think that?ā€
ā€œyou said earlier you wanted to get the project over with so you could make other plans this weekend.ā€
you noticed him look back towards his lap and you were confused on what he was talking about
ā€œi figured since you donā€™t like me, you wanted to get rid of me quickerā€
your eyes softened, realizing you didnā€™t phrase your comment from earlier properly. you immediately felt bad, you never wanted him to think that you didnā€™t like him. you liked charlie, quite a bit actually. he was very smart, charismatic, and oh so sweet; you couldnā€™t believe he thought you hated him.
you scooted closer to him, setting his hand on his knee. he looked up towards you with a nervous expression.
ā€œi donā€™t hate you, iā€™m so sorry that i made you think i did. i was just upset earlier that we were given a weekend project the same week my parents were out of townā€ you gave his leg a little squeeze
ā€œohā€ he replied, holding eye contact with you. ā€œnow i feel stupidā€
ā€œdonā€™t feel stupid, it was all my fault. iā€™ll hang out with you all weekend just to prove to you i like you.ā€ you paused, wanting to say something more. you took your hand off his knee and put it in your lap, looking at the ground, you took in a deep breath.
ā€œactually char,ā€ you start to trail off, feeling the nerves all the way down to your toes. ā€œi really like youā€
ā€œwhat?ā€ you felt the bed move, charlie shifting in his seat
ā€œi donā€™t expect you to feel the same, i know you have a crush on kirby, robbie told me a while ago, i just felt like i needed to tell you before i lost the courage toā€
charlie didnā€™t say anything, he felt so dumbfounded by your sudden release. he didnā€™t know what to say, he liked you to, he just never knew how to express it. he liked how kind you were to everyone and how you always loved to listen about everything he has to say.
you got up from your seat quick, anxiety crashing at his silence. ā€œiā€™m so sorry, just forget i said anything. iā€™m going to grab a waterā€ you state, heading towards the door
ā€œwaitā€ you heard him get up from the bed and head towards you, ā€œdo you mean it?ā€
you make eye contact, ā€œof course i mean it, i wouldnā€™t say it if it wasnā€™t true charā€
he stood directly in front of you, ā€œi like you tooā€
neither of you said anything after that, all that could be heard was both of your breaths and the quiet sound of radiohead coming from your phone. he looked between your eyes and your lips.
ā€œdo you want to kiss me charlie?ā€
ā€œyesā€ he says softly
you felt his lips on yours, pecking slightly. he was so nervous, you knew you had to lead
ā€œdo you want to make out with me?ā€
ā€œpleaseā€ he nodded quick, looking back to your lips.
you lean forward to kiss him, hands moving up to the back of his neck. you could feel his hands on your hips, barely making contact. you slightly pull away, catching your breath.
ā€œplease touch me charā€
you felt him grab your waist, pulling you back to his lips. you rake your fingers through his hair, pulling at the root slightly. he whimpered at the feeling, gripping your sides harder.
you started to walk the both of you slowly toward the bed, not breaking away from the kiss. you settled into his lap, feeling his hands glued in place.
ā€œyou can touch me anywhereā€ you say breathless, pulling away
ā€œiā€™ve never done this beforeā€ he admits shamefully
ā€œwe can do whatever you feel comfortable with.ā€ you reply, playing with his hair.
you felt one of charlieā€™s hands leave your hip, slowly heading towards your chest. he let out a breath when he felt you werenā€™t wearing a bra. he was gentle with his touch, as though he was scared to break you. your hand found his and pressed harder, encouraging his movements.
he started to kneed his hands, rubbing his thumb back and forth over your nipple. you let out a soft moan, pushing your lips back to his. you started to grind your hips back and forth, earning a breathy sound from his mouth. he opened his eyes to look up at you and you took the opportunity to bite the bottom of his lip, moving immediately to his neck, rubbing his cock with your hands.
ā€œis this okay baby?ā€
ā€œfuck- yes pleaseā€
you start biting and kissing the skin below his ear, moving your hands to start unbuttoning his shirt. he shrugs it off his shoulders and you start to make your way down to kneel on the floor, kissing and sucking his skin on your way. you look up at him as you fumble with his zipper, batting your eyelashes at him. he sits up slowly to help pull his pants down, taking his underwear with him. he sets his hands on either side of his legs, slightly gripping the sheets with nerves.
you take his dick in your hands, shocked at the size, before spitting on it. you rub your hands up and down earning a moan from charlie.
ā€œfuck- please i-ā€ he trailed off when you kissed the head, tasting salt on your lips.
ā€œplease what baby?ā€ still stroking his cock
ā€œi need more, i want more pleaseā€
you lick a long strip from his balls to the tip before putting him in your mouth. slowing going up and down using your hands to help with what you canā€™t fit. you grab charlieā€™s hand, moving it from his side to the top of your head. he laces his fingers in your hair, slightly pushing and pulling with your movements.
ā€œi think iā€™m going to cumā€
you pull off, stroking him quick with your hands, ā€œare you going to cum in my mouth char? be a good boy and cum in my mouth for meā€
he nodded, eyes shut tight as his head leaned back. ā€œsay it charlie, tell meā€
he opened his eyes, locked with yours. wiping a tear from your face, so fucking pretty.
ā€œiā€™m gonna cum for you like a good boy fuck-ā€
you went right back to work, taking him deeper and blinking the tears from your eyes. you wanted to see charlie cum so bad, you felt your hands move down inside your shorts. rubbing your clit over your panties.
ā€œfuck, iā€™m cumming, please let me cum. wanna be good for youā€
you moaned around his dick and felt charlie grip your hair harder. his dick started to twitch and you felt your mouth get hot, cum filling your throat and mouth. you pulled off slowly, swallowing as you went, keeping your mouth open to pump the rest of his cum on your tounge.
charlie was a rambling, moaning mess. whispering how good it felt and how good you were. he saw you give his dick one last kiss and come back up to meet him face to face.
ā€œthank youā€
you gave him a quick kiss, giggling. ā€œyou donā€™t have to say thank youā€
he wanted to say it a hundred times over, he couldnā€™t believe that he just got head for the first time. ā€œcan iā€¦ā€ he trailed off
ā€œcan you do what char?ā€ you sounded so innocent, like you didnā€™t just finish choking and gagging on his dick.
ā€œcan i do you now?ā€
you got close to him, kissing up his neck. ā€œyou want to eat me out baby?ā€
ā€œyes, please. please let me make you feel goodā€
you nodded and stood up from your seat next to him, pushing your notes to the bottom half of the bed. you slipped your top off and pushed your pants down your legs, getting comfortable by your pillows. ā€œcome here charā€
charlie was quick to move above you, taking your lips to his, touching anywhere his hands could move.
ā€œi might need some helpā€ he sighs sheepishly.
ā€œstart by moving all the way downā€ you say as you give him a quick kiss for encouragement. ā€œdo whatever you think is right, iā€™ll tell you if i donā€™t like itā€
he nodded and moved to your neck, kissing and licking, keeping his hands roaming. you felt him reach your nipples, his hot breath close before sticking his touch out to lick one. he saw your lips open to let out a quiet gasp of air and started to suck, earning a moan in response. he moved his hand, pinching and pulling at the left while he kept his mouth at the right, then switching.
ā€œjust like that pretty boyā€ you said as you move your hand to play with his hair.
he was blushing at the pet name, feeling his cock getting hard against your hip. he started to move down, kissing anywhere and everywhere he could, scared youā€™ll change your mind. he makes it past your stomach and to your thighs, gently pulling them apart.
he lets out a subtle groan, ā€œso prettyā€ he mumbles. ā€œcan i touch you?ā€ he says rubbing his hands up and down your thighs.
ā€œof courseā€ you sigh, anxiously waiting for his touch
he slowly brings his hands to your pussy, collecting your wetness on his fingers and spreading it around. he finds your clit and starts to rub in small, slow circles, watching you raise your hips slightly.
ā€œright there babyā€ you say closing your eyes.
he brings his mouth to your pussy, licking a long strip from your hole to your clit. ā€œyou taste so goodā€ he says lowly, almost to himself. he continues to play with your clit and eat you out. trying different rhythms and motions based on your movements and sounds.
ā€œchar, please put a finger in. iā€™m so closeā€
charlie is quick to push in and up, finding that sweet spot. you grab his hair, pulling at the root.
ā€œfuck yes, right thereā€
he canā€™t help it, all the mumbling and moaning makes him start to grind into the bed, intoxicated by you. he can feel his cock, hard and throbbing against your silk green sheats.
he slowly slides in a second finger, curling them upwards, taking your clit between his lips and sucking softly.
ā€œiā€™m gonna cumā€ you felt your body start to feel fuzzy, stomach pulling at the feeling. ā€œfuck charlie, iā€™m cummingā€
you felt yourself tighten against his fingers, grinding down on his tongue, which was eager to lap up your release. you heard him whimper, seeing his hips stutter against the bed.
he pulls his head up from your pussy, making sure to not look at you in the face. ā€œiā€™m so sorryā€
you look at him confused, leaning forward to see the wet spot on your sheets. you smirk at him, grabbing his hand and licking your juices off his fingers.
ā€œdonā€™t be sorry, this was amazing,ā€ you lean forward to kiss him ā€œand knowing you came from eating me out is kinda hotā€
you giggle as you lean back, still catching your breath. charlie moves beside you softly rubbing your hand. ā€œso what do we do now?ā€
you look up at him, ā€œwellā€ you start lacing your fingers with his ā€œfor now, we lay here until we fall asleep. then tomorrow morning weā€™ll wake up and shower and maybe finish where we left offā€
charlie grins from ear to ear, ā€œoh yeah?ā€
ā€œi mean, if thatā€™s alright with youā€ you mumble
ā€œbeing with you is alright for meā€ he says, kissing your forehead.
270 notes Ā· View notes
normansnt Ā· 3 months
Note
Okay so I, myself, is trans masc and have bad body dysphoria. If itā€™s alright with you could I ask for something with Alastor and the reader cuddling or something with fluff along the lines of being overly sensitive about what they look like and such? If youā€™re not comfortable with that then something with angst (I love angst) with Alastor and male reader?
HERE YOU GO LOVE
I hope you like it I did put a bit of angst in it since you said you liked itšŸ«”
Ok Alastor might be a bit OOC but likešŸ˜Ž
Warnings: body dysphoria
Handsome boy
(Alastor x trans male reader)
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Here you were again. Staring at your reflection in the mirror. You did this almost every day.
You hated your body, since it wasn't even yours. You truly didn't want to look at it, you were struggling to tear your eyes away. You just hated it so much. You just wanted to take the scissors and cut off everything that shouldn't be there.
Being born in a body that was never yours. It was like prison.
The tears started rolling down your cheeks. This was nothing new to you. crying was almost a daily routine at this point.
"Dear, are you ready to go?"
You heard the static voice of your boyfriend from the other side of the door.
"Shit" you whispered to yourself as you hurriedly went to put on your binder but thats not so easy.
You were staring hatefully at your body for too long apparently.
You were struggling to put on your binder when Alastor opened the door. The moment he entered you got it on but it was of no use. He has seen it. The prison you were born in.
He was standing there in the door. The smile fell from his face.
"Darling?" He asked.
"...please leave." You managed to whisper.
You never told him. You were scared that he would leave you.
However even though you never said it directly he knew. He knew because he had the tendency to over analyze everyone and so after some time he figured it out.
He knew the basic concept of being trans. He worked in the radio business after all he has met trans people. However the moment he noticed that you, his lovely boyfriend, were born as the gender which you aren't he started to get deeper into the subject.
He learned everything that is about transitioning, body dysphoria and most importantly, how to help with these.
Alastor surprised himself truly, he has never done this much for someone, but you, you were so important to him. He has never loved anyone as much as he loves you (perhaps his mother).
Alastor always believed that what a person looked like or presented themselves as had nothing to do with their value or personality, in fact he found the whole idea of connecting looks to self worth foolish. Male, female, neither, both it didn't matter to him much.
"My love" he proceeded to walk over to your kneeling form.
"Can my lovely boyfriend look at me" he said as without the static in his voice.
This got your attention and you looked up at him, he was wearing a small smile, not his usual grin, a smile that said: everything is ok.
Your eyes were red from crying as you looked up at him. The moment he noticed that his eyebrows wrinkled.
"Oh, dear, we cannot have that" he said at last as he lifted you off the ground (with the help of a little magic lets face it the man is a twig) and sat down with you in his lap on your bed.
"My darling, you do know I love you, yes?" He asked.
You hesitantly nodded your head.
"Lovely, then you also know that I love every part of you no matter what, you will be a gorgeous man in my eyes with or without female body parts, hmmm?"
You didn't answer to that.
"Well, now you know. I am aware that what you youngsters call 'body dysphoria' is. A major problem for you do not think I don't know how much you cry."
You looked up at him in shock, you were always so careful to be quiet.
"In fact that is why we were going to go out today I was going to get an answer out of you" he chuckled a bit.
"However, I think perhaps staying in is a better option for tonight?" He looked at you questioningly.
You nodded again.
With that confirmation Alastor hugged you even closer to him and laid down on your bed with you clinging to him.
"My handsome boy." He said
He hugged you and kissed your forehead. He started singing quietly with the static back in his voice, he knew you found it calming.
His singing was lovely, it was slowly luring you to sleep. Before you fell asleep you mumbled a 'thank you' to which he gave another kiss to your forehead as you drifted off, feeling loved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you guys enjoyed (especially u @coffeewithcocoa) I just wanna say as a last word to every trans person out there that remember you deserve love and are worthy of affection.
Love you all have a great morning/night/afternoonšŸ’—
148 notes Ā· View notes
happy74827 Ā· 6 months
Note
sub!matthew x reader PLEASE I need him. I am loosing it !!!!šŸ˜‡
Surprises and Candles
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[Matthew Patel x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: It's your one-year anniversary, and given the surprise he gave you, you decide it's time for him to have a surprise of his own.
WC: 2393
Category: Spice/Lime
One Sub!Matthew coming right up šŸ«”šŸ«”
怎ā€¢ā€¢āœŽā€¢ā€¢ć€
ā€œClose your eyes!ā€ Your hands covered his shoulders. You were a giggling mess while he looked at you, slightly confused. His body was trembling a little, waiting for something to happen. It was almost midnight, and he was dressed in all black with a small red tie.
You had been dating for almost a year and had never gone any farther than kissing, but you were determined to change that. Given that it was your anniversary and youā€™d just gotten back from a Broadway show, you decided it was time. You had seen him all dolled up, and it was hot, so you wanted to make a night of it.
Matthew was like a little puppy when he got excited. He was getting giddy with anticipation just from your smile. When he first met you, he didn't believe that someone so lovely would want to spend their life with aā€¦ well, with him. But now he had his own place and a good paying job, he felt like he could really make it as an actor, but it was all because of you.
It was his idea for the Broadway show. You mentioned to him about how you were interested in musical theater. You mentioned a show all the way back in your childhood, and since Matthew memorized everything that youā€™ve ever said, he remembered it. And when it made a return to Broadway, he made sure he had the tickets to see it with you.
You were over the moon, especially when the leading lady tripped and fell on her face on opening night. A little comedy to lighten the mood, right? Matthew got all dolled up, you dressed to the nines, and you went out to celebrate your one-year anniversary. It was perfect.
The moment you two got home that was when your plan to make the night special began.
He still stood there, still confused, but he was a good sport about it. So he obliged and closed his eyes. You told him to stay put as you ran into the bathroom. When you came out, you had a few items in your hand. He looked so cute and handsome that you couldn't help but kiss his cheek before you stepped back.
"I want you to hear my voice, and only my voice, okay? I don't want to distract you," you said. ā€œButā€¦ uh, it involves your fireballs.ā€
You could feel his body tense up. His jaw dropped, but you ignored him as you backed away, placing a set of earbuds in your ears.
You figured the best way to calm him down was to hum an old lullaby he heard from you. As you began to hum, you changed into your ā€œsurprise.ā€ Matthew was mumbling up a storm. You couldnā€™t hear him that well, but you could tell he was worried. Scared.
It didn't help when you finally told him to open his eyes because when his eyes met yours, they went wide. His heart was racing, and so was yours.
ā€œDo you like it?ā€
It was something youā€™d never thought youā€™d wear in a million yearsā€”a red, feathered bridal robe. The top was adorned with ruffles, while the bottom was simple but elegant. It was made of silk and came in a small box.
You remembered when Matthew took you out to eat one time. You had mentioned your grandma used to own one and would wear it all the time. He thought it was the cutest thing ever, and since he seemed sad when you mentioned you didn't end up having it, you had one delivered.
He looked over at you. His jaw was on the floor, his eyes glued to you. You were smiling and twirling and laughing, all for him.
"I got it at Victoriaā€™s Secret. A pain to get there, but every time I do, itā€™s worth it."
He gulped, "ā€¦whoā€™s Victoria, and why is she in secret?"
You rolled your eyes, walking over to him, "Matty, itā€™s a store. Victoria is the store."
He still looked confused as you put your arms around his neck. Your heart was pounding, not because of him but the fact that all those memories of your grandmother in the robe flashed in your head. You hadn't seen her in years, and here you were, wearing something so feminine in her honor. You gave him a little wink as you leaned in and kissed him.
His arms wrapped around you, and he kissed you back. His tongue pressed against your lips. You opened your mouth for him and let him deepen the kiss. It felt like he wanted to swallow you whole. His hand reached up and started to caress your cheek. His other arm squeezed your ass.
When he finally pulled away, he had this gleam in his eyes. A look you've only seen on his face when he talked about his dream to be an actor.
"Donā€™t I look like Mrs. Claus? I feel like Mrs. Claus.ā€ You giggled again. You tugged at his tie, pulling him even closer. Of course, he was already close. You were practically in his lap. But you wanted to make sure he got the message.
Again, Matthew didnā€™t say anything. He just gulped down some more air. He looked at you up and down, and it honestly felt like the whole room was getting warmer. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, "Matty, what's wrong?"
His body shook a little, and he gulped. ā€œN-Nothing, I justā€¦ā€
"I thought you liked it?" Your voice was soft. Your eyes met his, and you could feel your heart thumping even harder. You really were nervous now. With every minute he didnā€™t speak, the more scared you became.
ā€¦Did he hate it? Was it a bad idea? Did you overdo it? Oh God, what if you went too far?
Your words mustā€™ve finally been processed in his mind because he quickly shook his head. He bit his lip as he stared at you, "No, oh no, no, no, I do, I love it, you're amazing, this... this is amazing." He paused again and took another breath. His eyes widened, "I'm just... wow."
"Thank god. I was worried." You laughed nervously. "This was expensive, so, uh, if you don't like it..."
"You look like you. I love it. It's perfect."
"Are you sure? Because-"
"I'm absolutely positively sure. I promise this is... oh my... wow."
Matthew was still a bit shaky, but you were relieved. It was dark in the room, but even in the dark, you could tell he was blushing. It was a look you could get used to. You felt the butterflies in your stomach, and you gave him a little smirk,
"Well, since you like it so much..." You started to kiss his neck and nibbled his ear. "...and you're so handsome..." You could feel his grip tighten. His face was in the crook of your neck, and you could feel his hot breath. "...I can show you just how much I love it."
"Is that what my fireballs are..." His voice was so raspy. You loved when he sounded like that. He only spoke like that when he was completely and utterly flustered. "...are for?"
You let out a little giggle as you took his hands into yours. You intertwined your fingers and kissed the back of his hand, "Kinda, I have candles. A lot of them."
"Wait, why? What for?" He sounded so confused, and you just smiled as you pulled him into the bedroom. You were right about the candles; there were practically thirty of them, all lined up and ready to be lit. And there was a small table set up with a nice bottle of champagne and a bottle of red wine. The bottle was already open.
"I might have been a little lazy... but looking at it, you can tell it's a lot of work," You admitted. "And I was trying to be fancy, but-"
"This is great!" Matthew finally broke his hand free from yours, and he immediately took off his jacket. You could feel his smile. He snapped his fingers, the tip of his index became a small flame, and he quickly lit each of the candles. Luckily for you, Matthew used his mystical powers enough to know the exact amount of power needed to light every single candle in this room. The first time he "attempted" to use his fireballs on purpose, he almost burnt the apartment complex down. It was his apartment, too, fortunately.
Once all the candles were lit, he waved away the flame from his finger and turned towards you again, waiting. His mouth hung open a little, his eyes wide with anticipation. He was trying to control his excitement, but it was no use. You saw it written on his face. He looked like a kid waiting to open a birthday present.
You took the initiative; you always had to; Matthew was still in his own head. He had a tendency to overthink things. It took some time for you two to get to know each other, and he still had that anxiety and self-doubt that'd been ingrained into him since his youth. But with some time, some patience, some trust, and love, he finally started to believe you.
And now here you were, kissing him passionately and slowly, pulling off the tie that hung around his neck. He reached up and touched your cheek as you kissed him, your hands still caressing the small of his back. He made a small noise; the sound was music to your ears. He made the cutest sounds when he was flustered. You let out a giggle as you pulled away, "Oh, I'm just getting started, Matthew Patel."
You kissed his cheek, his neck, his jaw; you even nibbled at his earlobe. You could hear him trying to take in air, but he was failing. His hands went around you, squeezing your body as if to tell you he was yours. All yours.
You could hear his voice break a little as he whispered your name. It was almost inaudible, but you heard it, and it made your heart beat even faster. You pressed your body against him as you moved him to the bed, laying him down. He looked up at you with those beautiful brown eyes. The sparkle and glint in them told you that he wanted you, but he was too scared to ask. You kissed him again, letting him relax.
He moaned into the kiss, and you smiled. He had no idea what he did to you. You straddled his body as you pressed your chest to his. You could feel his body temperature rising, and despite the fact he was always above room temperature, he became unbelievably hot when he got this worked up.
He tried to kiss you back, but his body was shaking so hard that it was impossible. His eyes closed tightly, and his arms wrapped around you. You took in a deep breath and unbuttoned the first few of his buttons before kissing his neck. You could hear him gulping down more air, trying to stay calm, as your lips met his collarbone. His body shivered beneath you. You sucked, bit, kissed, and nibbled at his skin, all while working on the buttons of his shirt.
When you pulled back, you had to laugh. Matthew was in a trance. He wasn't saying a word; his hands were now limp on the bed. He looked like he had just been hit with a bolt of lightning or like you had just kicked him out of a plane with no parachute. His face was bright red and glistening from sweat. His hair was sticking up in all different directions. His jaw was practically on the floor, and his eyes were glazed over.
He didn't even seem to realize you had stopped kissing him because his arms started to flail around as he started to sit up, "Wh-wh-why did-" He swallowed hard, "What was-"
You kissed his cheek, and he fell back into bed again. His chest was still rising and falling. He looked like he was going to have a heart attack. He opened his mouth and then closed it again as if he was trying to say something. Finally, he mustered the strength to mumble your name.
You only replied with more laughter as you continued to kiss his chest and stomach. His hands went around your waist. You could feel him trying to grab hold of something, anything. He couldn't even control his own body anymore. His fingers were shaking, and the grip on your waist was so tight that you were sure it would bruise. But he was still breathing. His eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling as if it held the secrets of the universe.
You knew you had to stop teasing him before you went any further because he wasn't going to last very long if you continued to tease him. And the longer you teased him, the more he would panic and the less likely he would be to enjoy it. So you slowly kissed his chest and his stomach, and then your lips went back to his.
His breathing finally started to even out when he returned your kisses, but he still had a little twitch in his body. A sign of nervousness and anticipation, but still, he was relaxed enough to be able to kiss you back. He was a lot calmer now than he was when he first saw you in the robe. And that was your goal all along.
So, as you two lay there, kissing in the candlelight, you knew you made the right decision. You knew Matthew was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The moment your eyes met his, that first time he helped you with your luggage, it all made sense. It was almost as if the world knew you two were meant to be.
And, as the robe shredded off you and his hands met your bare skin, you realized he felt the same. And as his kisses went lower and lower, and his fingers gripped your thighs, you knew this was going to be a night you would never forget.
197 notes Ā· View notes
jymwahuwu Ā· 11 months
Note
I'm ascending with all this yan Jing Yuan content, thank you for feeding us šŸ™
Ngl you got me giggling and kicking my feet over this stupid man thing, affectionate.
But have you considered Jing Yuan subtly using Yanqing?
Jing Yuan knows you have a soft spot for the kid, it's hard not to, he's very endearing, and knows you'd never do anything to hurt the kid.
Yanqing is very oblivious to his guardian's true nature, he just thinks you're a bit bashful is all about dating the general. The kid adores you and always begs you to come visit, how can you say no to him?
You don't want him to ever be afraid of you, it'd hurt your poor heart too much, so you never lash out when Yanqing is nearby and tolerate Jing Yuan's antics.
Jing Yuan, being the rat bastard he is, would use this to his advantage.
But I also love the idea of Yanqing being a platonic yan for you, always clinging to you when you're walking the streets of Luofu. Keeping tabs on things that you like or people you interact with to keep dear ol dad in the loop, definitely might've eliminated someone who got a little bit too chummy with you or most likely went to Jing Yuan later on and in a few days that person is suddenly convicted of a serious crime.
You three are like a little family to him, poor kid has always wanted a mom and you're perfect! You seem to fawn over him and when does accidentally calls you mom/mama/etc you never correct him, if anything you encourage him to do so since you believe he needs a maternal figure (also to balance out Jing Yuan's influence over the boy)
Yan Yanqing is highly aware that you're weak to his whims, so he's going to take advantage of it. He really is like Jing Yuan in that sense, but his love for you is purely familial.
Sorry for rambling djxjcjcj I just got excited about the possibilities
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Both possibilities are fantastic šŸ™ˆšŸ˜ššŸ’•And sorry for taking so long to reply like I lost touch on another planetšŸ„ŗ
TW: yandere(jing yuan), platonic yandere(yanqing), non-con
You can't resist this precious cinnamon roll, especially with his puppy eyes on the attack? He tells you about his experiences in Cloud Knights. Yanqing may act proud in front of you and crave recognition and praise.
If you tell him that your relationship with Jing Yuan is not the expected couple relationship. He is just harassing you. This truth will break the heart of this child. Jing Yuan is aware of this and uses it as an excuse to bring Yanqing to visit your home, groping you in the kitchen while you prepare your afternoon tea, and putting his fingers in your panties. You still hold the tray of milk and cookies in your hands as you flee from the kitchen, panting.
If Yanqing is platonic yandere? The core of platonic yandere! yanqing is: He is afraid that you will leave him and the general, and disappear silently from the long life. After all, you have nothing to do with them or have an obligation to be around them. You can leave anytime. He feels care and sincerity in you. He wants him to have a mother who loves him. Is it that difficult?
Just like what you described! When you wandered the streets of Luofu, Yanqing followed you closely, helping the general watch out for all possible threats. Yanqing noticed that there is a guy who is too close to you - why are you giggling when talking to him? He even grabbed your hand and confessed to you? Never mind, this dangerous man will be deported to a remote planet soon šŸ«”
496 notes Ā· View notes
wlntrsldler Ā· 1 month
Text
poisoned mercury | smau: stories! (after hard launch)
a/n: just wanted to post more of luke and five star flirting. hehe.
smau masterlist | series masterlist
yn_yln posted a story!
weā€™re going to the championships!
tagged clarisselarue.
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clarisselarue replied to this story!
clarisselarue: BACK TO BACK šŸ”œ šŸ†
yn_yln: YEAAAAA BABY
clarisselarue: home court advantage šŸ˜ˆ
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: IM SO PROUD OF YOU FIVE STAR
lukecastell4n: SEE YOU SOON
yn_yln: WDYM SEE YOU SOON
yn_yln: ARE YOU COMING TO THE CHAMPIONSHIPS
lukecastell4n: duh i wouldnā€™t miss it for the world
yn_yln: BABY WHAT
yn_yln: CALL ME RN
lukecastell4n: šŸ«”šŸ„°
connorstoll posted a story!
pretty sure this is dangerous. put your seatbelts on!
tagged yn_yln and lukecastell4n.
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travisstoll replied to this story!
travisstoll: youā€™d think they havenā€™t seen each other in 10 years the way theyā€™re always on each other
connorstoll: FR šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: goddamn im whipped
lukecastell4n: is this how i always look when im with five star
connorstoll: yes. itā€™s sickening
lukecastell4n: oh well šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø
yn_yln replied to this story!
yn_yln: SJSJSJSJKSK
yn_yln: sigh i love him
connorstoll: please get out of my dms with this shit i already get enough seeing u two in person
yn_yln: HATER
connorstoll: AND IM PROUD OF IT!
clarisselarue posted a story!
yn_yln can sleep anywhere šŸ˜­ (as long as lukecastell4n is there)
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lukecastell4n reposted this story!
lukecastell4n: my five star ā­ļø
yn_yln reposted this story!
yn_yln: my favorite place in the world šŸ©·
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: fuck you got me kicking my feet in the air
lukecastell4n: have i told you that i love you today?
yn_yln: about ten times šŸ˜­
lukecastell4n: yikes im lacking
lukecastell4n: i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love yo-
liked by yn_yln.
yn_yln: youā€™re ridiculous šŸ˜­
yn_yln: i love you so much
travisstoll posted a story!
forget luke we want yn_yln as the new front man for poisoned mercury šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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yn_yln replied to this story!
yn_yln: haha youā€™re so funny trav
travisstoll: your rendition of hopelessly devoted to you deserves a grammy
yn_yln: OH GOD I SANG THAT?
yn_yln: I DONT REMEMBER
travisstoll: ā€œsangā€ is a stretch. i would use ā€œscreechā€
travisstoll: i figured when luke had to carry you out the karaoke bar šŸ˜­
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: LMFSOOD
lukecastell4n: remind me never to buy her green tea shots ever again
travisstoll: we shouldve known it was gonna get bad when she said ā€œi dont even feel anythingā€
liked by lukecastell4n.
lukecastell4n posted a story!
five star down šŸ˜­
tagged yn_yln.
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yn_yln replied to this story:
yn_yln: OH MY GOD IM SO EMBARRASSED
yn_yln: YOU HAD TO CARRY ME OUT THE BAR?
lukecastell4n: donā€™t be embarrassed
lukecastell4n: if u wanted me to carry you home, all u had to do was ask
yn_yln: how do u manage to make me blush over the phone castellan?
lukecastell4n: can i come over and make u blush in person?
yn_yln: ā€¦.
yn_yln: doorā€™s unlocked
lukecastell4n: eta 8 minutes
liked by yn_yln.
chrisr0driguez posted a story!
would you guys believe me if i said three minutes ago they were in a heated argument about the best girl scout cookie
tagged lukecastell4n and yn_yln.
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yn_yln replied to this story!
yn_yln: THIN MINTS FOR LIFE
yn_yln: anyone who says otherwise has no taste
chrisr0driguez: gotta go with my boy on this one
chrisr0driguez: samoas >>>
yn_yln: ā€¦ i need to have a talk with clar about her choices
chrisr0driguez: Y/N?!???
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: FIVE STAR JUST TOLD ME U SAID SAMOAS WERE BETTER
lukecastell4n: i knew i could count on you
lukecastell4n: my brother šŸ¤
chrisr0driguez: šŸ¤
liked by lukecastell4n.
lukecastell4n posted a story!
she loves me i swear.
tagged yn_yln.
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yn_yln reposted this story!
yn_yln: unfortunately šŸ˜”
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: u were made to humble me huh
yn_yln: duh
yn_yln: but i love you
yn_yln: i miss you already
lukecastell4n: stop i will drive this tour bus back to north carolina
yn_yln: would u pls
read by lukecastell4n.
travisstoll replied to this story!
travisstoll: if luke doesnt reply its because we locked him in the bathroom bc he tried to convince the driver to turn around to go back to unc and bobby got annoyed
travisstoll: we like bobby we dont want him to quit
travisstoll: and he looked like he might if luke kept begging
yn_yln: HELP I WAS JOKING
travisstoll: now y/n
travisstoll: u should know better
travisstoll: luke does not joke about u
yn_yln: pls let him out the bathroom heā€™s sending me voice memos from his apple watch
travisstoll: fine
102 notes Ā· View notes
tangerinesilk Ā· 10 months
Text
ļ¼ I CAN SEE YOU : TANGERINE X FEM!READER
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tangerine is going on a solo missionā€¦ well, at least he thinks he is. with lemon missing by his side, heā€™s left with one other option that is supposed to make his job easier. unfortunately for him, youā€™re not the easiest to work with. stubborn, strong-minded and feisty. youā€™re both so alike yet nothing has made your bloods boil more than each other.Ā 
rating āœ· r (18+ minors dni!)
warnings āœ· (very quick) smut: fem receiving, kisses all over bodies, a needy but quick hj, p in v, dirty talk, praising, implied rough (consensual) sex / others: cursing, drinking alcohol, mention and use of guns and violence, male hurting female (?) but not between main characters, mentions of blood and wounds.
tropes āœ· enemies to lovers!!!, person a is all talk no bite + person b knows that but still pushes them, playful banter, hiding together in small spaces, fake dating (?), if one is hurtā€“ the other goes a bit crazy, says ā€˜i dont careā€™ then cares 5 seconds later.Ā 
word count āœ· 6k!
songs that fit the vibe āœ· i can see you - taylor swift | moth to a flame - swedish house mafia + the weeknd | king of my heart - taylor swift | attention - charlie puth | nonsense - sabrina carpenter
a/n āœ· so i made a poll a months ago and this trope + pairing won! iā€™ve honestly been wanting to write a dave lizewski one as well and got a request idea. so.. we will see lmao. i will probably post then maybe edit later if there's still things i don't like... also, if you couldn't tell but im kind of a swiftie so i will love to write fics inspired by whole ass albums y'all.
but i hope this is what u guys expected and wanted. i actually do love writing for tangerine. just gives into my delulu thoughts. also, if you guys would like a plain pwp fic and not all of this fluff and dialogue stuffed inside, pls let me know bc i am definitely into that idea. šŸ«”
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ā€œYou had to go and get yourself shotā€¦ then you wonder why you have to wear a bulletproof vest. Fuckinā€™ hell.ā€Ā 
Tangerine kept his voice at a hushed tone, basically talking under his breath as he strutted through the grand hall of the hotel. Golden light glossed over his figure, passing by couples who were at standing tables with their cocktails.
ā€œWell, Thomas said-ā€
ā€œThomas didnā€™t say shit. Donā€™t get me fuckinā€™ started now.ā€
Lemon already knew Tan was in a bad mood. Another Thomas the Tank Engine factoid wasnā€™t a playful move right now.
ā€œHey, mate. Donā€™t get all fussy witā€™ me. Youā€™re just mad about your new partner for the night.ā€ Lemon rolled his eyes.
ā€œCanā€™t believe I canā€™t be held accountable of myself. I can handle it on my own but you had to call the fuckinā€™ princess-ā€Ā 
ā€œSheā€™s good. Your denial is obnoxious, bruv. Itā€™s only a night, you get in and get out.ā€ Lemon replied, holding his wounded side as he laid in his bed back in England, ā€œWhat happened between you two that youā€™ve got beef like this?ā€
ā€œNo time to explain nor do I have the patience.ā€ He arrived at the small bar to the side of the room, ā€œIf I leave her behind, can I take half the pay thatā€™s supposed to be hers?ā€ Tangerine asked.
ā€œSheā€™s supposed to be wearing a red dress. Youā€™ll see her thereā€¦ and please donā€™t cause a scene.ā€ His brother begged.
ā€œNo promises.ā€ He replied before hanging up.Ā 
Tangerine blows a sigh past his lips, quickly asking for his drink of choice before scanning the mass of people around him. His blue eyes could only search so fast for the man that the hit was called on, causing him an instant frustration when heā€™s already worried about you ruining things regardless of how long youā€™re together.
ā€œHeā€™s next to the woman in the tacky gold ballgownā€¦ about two feet away from the ice sculpture.ā€ Your soft voice suddenly spoke next to him, ā€œBut, I didnā€™t need to tell you that, right?ā€
The smirk on your face burned at his nerves and you noticed the clench in his jaw.
ā€œWell, if it isnā€™t the fuckinā€™ Queen herself.ā€ He said in a stern tone, ā€œWhat? Germany was too borinā€™ for ya? Had to figure out a way to ruin someoneā€™s operation?ā€
ā€œLemon is the one who called me in, and it isnā€™t about you. Itā€™s about the pay outā€¦ youā€™re bound to screw something up with your ā€˜shoot first, ask questions laterā€™ tactic.ā€ You trailed, rolling your eyes as you turned your head away.
ā€œAnd Iā€™m certainly not afraid to use that tonight and not your fucked up, painfully long mind games like some fuckinā€™ psycho thilling killer.ā€ He spat as his drink was place in front of him.
You narrowed your eyes at him, ā€œFuck you.ā€
ā€œDarling, Iā€™m flattered, but we have more important things to do right now.ā€ He lowly groaned, purposefully looking at his target so his back was facing toward you.
Behind his tall stature, you glimpsed past his shoulder and saw your target chatting up a woman.Ā 
He wonā€™t be smiling for long, you thought.
ā€œAlright, Iā€™ll wait for him to slip away, follow him and you go through the kitchen.ā€ Tangerine said under his breath, keeping quiet for only you to hear him.
ā€œTo go where?ā€ You ask, walking around him to stand face to face.
ā€œErmā€¦ā€ He sighed, ā€œWhatever car or vehicle you got here in, drive yourself back to whatever place youā€™re staying and Iā€™ll figure out how to wire you the money.ā€ He shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.
He took a step but you placed your hand on the center of his chest, ā€œNot so fast. Iā€™m not going down if you make a mess of this.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t make messes. Well, actually, I get away with them once Iā€™ve done ā€˜em so, I donā€™t need to worry about a liability.ā€ Tangerine smirked, a bit of a tilt to his head. Cheeky bastard.
ā€œThe only liability here is the one who is ready to pull the trigger in his back.ā€ You said before huffing, ā€œIā€™m not sorry for what happened in Paris, but that was my choice. So, Iā€™m going with you because itā€™s our operation. You knowā€¦ I donā€™t need a fucking helping hand either.ā€ You practically growled.
The two of you held a long gaze, creating a tense eye contact before he sighed, ā€œDidnā€™t even say anythinā€™ about Paris, but if youā€™d like to assume Iā€™m still mad ā€˜bout that, be my guest, princess.ā€
His shoulder bumped yours, making you clench your jaw before quickly following behind his tall stature. While he seemed persistent, you grabbed his hand which made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the dance floor.
He turned, ā€œAm I your babysitter?ā€
ā€œNo, youā€™re my date. Hold my hand, you idiot.ā€ Your eyes pierced through his.
As he looked down at your hand, he slowly grasped it, your fingers intertwining with one anotherā€™s before he proceeded through the glamorous crowd.
Couples swayed and waltzed between each step you took, assuming you were unnoticed by your target. Tangerine kept his eyes on him, easy to with the frosty-white full head of hair he had slicked back. The woman in the tacky dress ran her hand down his shoulder, pressing her lips to his ear to whisper something which made you and Tangerine veer to the side at a standing table.
ā€œAre they movinā€™?ā€ He asked, facing his back toward them.
Your eyes smoothly shift, taking a quick glance at the assumed couple. You ran your hand down Tangerineā€™s arm, accidentally feeling how toned his bicep was through the thick fabric of his suit jacket. You almost glanced down, wanting to give another squeeze before clearing your throat. A heat rose on your cheeks as you turned your head to face away from him.
ā€œY-Yeah, near the bathroom. Thereā€™s also a backdoor that leads up to the second floorā€¦ lots of private rooms for reasons that are obvious.ā€ You said in a hushed tone, moving away from him to the other side of the table.
ā€œAlright, since you wanna tag along, Iā€™ll follow them and you cover the door.ā€ Tangerine suggested once again.
You furrowed your eyebrows, ā€œYou do understand what teamwork is, yes?ā€
He chuckled, ā€œYes, I go up there, shoot a few rounds, then we make a getaway.ā€
ā€œWill you just trust me?ā€
ā€œYour trust means nothingā€¦ I need to know youā€™re not going to fuck anything up. Just like in Paris.ā€
You smirked, ā€œSo you do have that against me.ā€
ā€œWell, itā€™s not like it was your best. Leave me with a shot in the arm, Lemon on the ground and you, little miss greed, get away with your cash. If we all did this job for money, we wouldnā€™t be riskinā€™ our lives just runninā€™ around killinā€™ or resucinā€™ people just for someoneā€™s dime. You obviously do though.ā€
You narrowed your eyes, ā€œYou donā€™t know meā€¦ā€
ā€œNor do you know me soā€¦ā€ He huffed, ā€œLetā€™s just do what we have to do.ā€
There was tension between you, as if there was more fo a protective instinct than hate toward one another. You couldn't figure out Tangerineā€™s deal. Why was he so hostile toward you? Yes, what happened in Paris was fucked up, but he wasnā€™t the type to hold a grudge. He didnā€™t take shit from anyone, so why were you getting under his skin?
ā€œShit!ā€ He grunted under his breath, seeing your target disappear into the hall.
The two of you hurry, yet still try to act casual to not raise eyebrows, and exit into the same hallway. As you push open the door, you hear the two talking in the stairwell before another door closes.
ā€œYou got your gun on you?ā€ He asked as his hand slid into the back of his pants.
ā€œOf course.ā€ You scoffed, tearing up the slit in your dress. He saw the small pistol strapped to your thigh, making his mouth a bit dry.
He nodded, ā€œGoodā€¦ā€Ā 
Taking a quick breath, Tangerine opened the door. You slipped through and he followed behind, your backs facing one another as you scanned the hallway. It wasnā€™t narrow but if anyone slipped out of one of the rooms, they were right in your sights.
ā€œIā€™ll take this one, you take that one.ā€ He whispered, pointing his gun to the opposite door of his.
With your heart in your throat, you slowly crack the door open and donā€™t see anyone before a body flies from behind and slammed the door open from Tangerineā€™s side. The woman lied dead on the floor, blood all over his dress, and just as you turned around, a punch slid across your cheek.Ā 
Instinctively, you ducked to dodge the second jab and swoop under to get on the other side of the man as Tangerine wrapped his arms around the guy to pull him to the ground.
Tan loudly grunted as he tried to gain control, basically attempting to straddle him in order to push his arm against his neck. Even with all his strength, the man gripped his hands around Tangerineā€™s arms to throw him off along with trying to push his knee between his crotch.
ā€œWatch the door!ā€ Tan directed to you.Ā 
You nodded, catching your breath with your back against the wall by the door. The adrenaline ran through your veins and heard your heartbeat in your ears as one tear of blood dripped down your cheek. The crack of bones made you turn your head, seeing the manā€™s body go limp as Tan began to stand over him.
He quickly walked over the man, as if he was in the way, and comes to your side.
ā€œHe nicked you bad. Lemme see.ā€ Tan said, your eyes meeting his as he held your cheek. The touch of his hand seemed to be some comfort, his thumb wiping the blood away and trying to see how bad the wound was.
ā€œBastard.ā€ He muttered, ā€œCā€™mon, letā€™s go before someone comes up.ā€
Without a word in, he grabbed your hand and dragged you behind his lead. You two headed for the exit door down the other side of the hall as you heard footsteps rumble from the other stairs you came up.
ā€œWait a minute.ā€ Tan said, fiddling with his belt buckle.
Your eyes widen, ā€œWhat on earth are you doing?ā€
He smirked, ā€œRelax, darling. You flatter yourself too much.ā€
You rolled your eyes as the sound of his belt slid against the fabric of his belt loops before curling the leather strap around the door to keep it locked. The two of you fled down the stairs and suddenly found yourselves in the kitchen area. A few eyes followed as you both ran through, very obvious that you were running from something, but still aimed to get to some kind of exit.
With sudden luck, Tangerine saw his car across the street, instantly knowing which way he was supposed to go. Without skipping a beat, he grabbed your hand once more and the two of you ran across the street. Hopping into the passenger seat and Tan taking off was like a blur, just happening in seconds.
ā€œY/N?ā€ Tan saying your name woke you from your trance.
ā€œHuh?ā€ You asked, shaking your head.
He quickly turned his head, ā€œYou alright?ā€ He said with concern, one hand on the steering wheel and his foot easing off the gas.
ā€œY-Yeah, Iā€™m okay. I donā€™t know what happened back there.ā€ You trailed, a bit embarrassed. You were never one to let your guard down, wellā€“ enough to get hit right smack in the face.
ā€œAre you sure?ā€
You turned your attention to him, ā€œIā€™m fine, why wouldnā€™t I be?ā€ You asked rhetorically.
ā€œā€˜Cause of that big cut on your cheek.ā€
You narrowed your eyes, ā€œAlright, whatā€™s your big plan now, Einstein? Were just going to sleep in your car and hope we donā€™t wake up decapitated?ā€
He half-chuckled, ā€œYou truly think so little of me, donā€™t you?ā€
ā€œIs that rhetorical?ā€
Tan rolled his blue eyes, ā€œWeā€™re goinā€™ somewhere safe.ā€
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
You wanted to believe you were strolling into some kind of trap. The lobby had a classic aesthetic to it, pale gold wallpaper and a wall of keys behind the person at the small front desk. You two placed your go-bags on the red carpeted ground as Tangerine checked into a room.
ā€œHello Mr. Tangerine.ā€
Oh, great. Heā€™s some guest of honor here.
ā€œā€˜Ello, Colin. My usual room.ā€
ā€œIs that what you say in front of all the girls?ā€ You tilted your head, standing behind him.
He rolled his eyes, ā€œā€˜Cuse her.ā€
The man chuckled, crinkles by his eyes, ā€œHow many nights are you staying this time?ā€
This time. You could scoff out loud but you didnā€™t want to hear the tude from him.
ā€œJust overnight. Nothinā€™ too serious.ā€
ā€œWell, enjoy your stay, as always.ā€ The man nodded before Tangerine thanked him.
The two of you head toward the old elevator, watching him quickly press the up button before you stand by his side. You half chuckled, ā€œIā€™ve never seen you act so kindly toward anyone, tell me, does he see you bring girls through here all the time or-ā€
ā€œHas anyone ever told you to shut your pie hole?ā€
ā€œHmm, not verbally. But, those eyes of your say enough for meā€¦ youā€™re too predictable, sometimes, Tan.ā€
He gave you a lingering look as the door opened, passing him into the elevator. The two of you make your way to the fifth floor and the hall is eerily quite for a hotel full of private contractors and assassins. You had your hands behind your back then patiently waited for Tangerine to jiggle the key into the lock, opening a door to a huge room with a surprisingly wide view.
ā€œYouā€™d think the curtains were closed.ā€ You muttered as he walked over, closing them anyways.
Suddenly, he stripped from his suit jacket and you couldnā€™t help but see how tight his button up was around his biceps and chest.
ā€œDid you get that a size too small?ā€ You ask as you chunk your heels into the corner.
ā€œWell, I certainly canā€™t kill fuckinā€™ bloaks wearing baggy clothes now.ā€
ā€œBut, you can in a three piece suit?ā€ You cocked your eyebrow.
He licked his lips, ā€œAs if your dress is a flexible material.ā€ Tangerine said as he pulled his rings off, placing them on the night stand.
ā€œI can say the same for your pants.ā€
Tangerine wanted to look down but didnā€™t give into your comment. You place your bag down on the bed, grabbing your silk pajamas nearly folded on top and changed in the bathroom.
ā€œGod, just go to bed. Weā€™ve got a long day tomorrow.ā€ You somewhat groaned.
You sit on the top of the bed, unfolding the duvet before shoving it off to get underneath them.
Tangerine paused, ā€œWhat the fuck do you youā€™re doinā€™?ā€
You furrowed your eyebrow, ā€œThis thing called going to sleep. Try it sometime, youā€™d be less grouchy.ā€
He rolled his eyes, ā€œI know that, smartass, I mean whatā€™re you doinā€™ in the bed that Iā€™m goinā€™ to be sleepinā€™ in too?ā€
You rolled over, putting your weight on your elbows, ā€œI know youā€™re dramatic but this takes the cake for top performances.ā€
He faked a laugh, ā€œIf you donā€™t get your ass out of that bed in two seconds, Iā€™ll throw you in the tub with a pillow.ā€
ā€œOh, wouldnā€™t you like to. Fine, do it.ā€ You said before laying flat into the mattress, staring straight at the ceiling.
He didnā€™t care for your equal amount of sarcasm, but he just gave you a cocked eyebrow.
ā€œOkay, fine. Iā€™d rather sleep on the floor anyways.ā€ He said, stretching his arms up and behind his head. Your eyes quickly admired his muscles before turning back.
ā€œBe my guest, princess.ā€ You scoffed, slipping on your pajama shorts, ā€œIā€™ll enjoy my big comfy bed.ā€
You pulled the heavy duvet over your waist, curling up with the dense pillow beneath your head.Ā 
Tangerine stood there, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched you roll on your side. He tilted his head back before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it on the desk chair. Although your eyes were closed, his side of the bed sunk in and you tried to hold back your smile at his faded stubbornness.
With your backs facing one another, you two just listened to the silence of the city. It gave you a moment to think of Parisā€“ the last time you were with one another or much rather supposed to be against each other. You were a double agent, not exactly proud of it but you let greed take over your motivated justice.Ā 
Having to scam Lemon and Tangerine wasnā€™t your finest hour either, you thought about it for months and finally coming face to face with Tangerine (out of the two, he wasnā€™t the one you would want to bump into again), all the guilt came rushing back like the snap of an elastic band.
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
The morning sun runs through the thin silk of the curtains, shining over your bodies in the bed. You wake up to the sound of light snoring, happy that you could sleep through it, and Tangerine in a deep slumber with his arm over the bed. He suddenly looked like innocence, so soft and tender, simply laying there like it was any other day.
You sit up, putting your hair out of your face then head to the bathroom. When you turn the light on, youā€™re almost surprised to see your reflection. Forgetting about the scar against your cheek, you look more rough around the edges. You sigh as you run your fingers over it, remembering the way Tangerine did last night.
After washing up, you go back out and Tangerine is now standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Your eyes quickly shift up his body, admiring the tattoos in their random places and how the band of his briefs rest on his hips. You sealed your lips from smiling at how sharp his v-line was accompanied by the happy trail disappearing into his pants.
ā€œSleep good with that stick in your ass?ā€ You retort, passing him.
He rolled his eyes, ā€œ...Youā€™re annoying, ya know that?ā€
ā€œOh, youā€™ve made that clear.ā€ You mocked him as you closed the curtains more, ā€œThatā€™s why I love to do it.ā€
Tangerine flicked on the lamp, giving the room a warm glow.
ā€œAlright, I say we lay low today. Better to be out of sight andā€“ā€
You cut him off, ā€œStuck in this room together?... are you trying to kill me tā€“ā€
He then put his hand over your mouth, looking deep into your eyes, ā€œYes, stuck in this room where we can keep an eye on each other and you canā€™t screw me over again.ā€
Your heart stopped for a split second, as if he couldnā€™t have been more of the controlling one. He took his hand away and you gulped, ā€œYep. Fine. Fair.ā€
Tangerine pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek before you go to your bag in the chair thatā€™s pushed in the corner of the room. You slightly bend over to look inside your duffle and his icy eyes canā€™t help but look up the back of your thighs and straight at your ass and lower back. How he could easily put his hands on your hips and make you hold onto something.
He shook his head, feeling like he was coming down with something to even imagine that thought.
You pulled out an old novel and sat yourself back on the bed, hoping that the hours would pass as you sank further into the broken-in mattress.
Tangerine sat down in the chair nudged into the corner, adjacent from your view, and he pulled out his gun that was conveniently tucked into the back of his pants.
ā€œAre you actually holding me hostage?ā€ You furrowed your brows, but didnā€™t take your eyes from your sentence.
ā€œWhatever fantasy youā€™d like you believe.ā€ He trailed, opening his gun and emptying his rounds into his palm.
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
Suddenly, you leaped out of a deep sleep. Your book laid open on your stomach while an extra pillow was between your legs. Your eyes fluttered open, thinking the past few days has been a dream, until you noticed Tangerine wasnā€™t sitting in the chair. You quickly looked around before hearing the bathroom door open and he stepped out, shirtless and in new dark slacks that rested on his hips.
Your mouth became dry. How could you dislike him so much yet here you are, ready to jump his bones as he crossed the room.
ā€œWhat are you getting dressed for?ā€ You asked, rubbing your eyes.
He half-chuckled at your groggy voice, ā€œI want a drink.ā€
ā€œOh, like youā€™re not just going to abandon me here like I did you?... Where you go, I go.ā€ You warned him.
He rolled his eyes, ā€œDonā€™t be so dramatic.ā€
ā€œA bit hypocritical coming from you.ā€
Tangerine just ignored your smart comment and opened the door, letting you through first before he followed. His eyes, once again, trace your lower back and trailed down your legs. His cheeks flushed pink as he quickly looked away, clearing his throat as he caught up to you so you two were walking side by side.
You pushed the faded down button as you pushed a big breath past your lips. Tangerine put his back against the wall and crossed his arms, his muscles basically restraining in his light button up. As you turned around, you rolled your eyesā€“ but not at him, just at yourself. How could you have any little feeling for someone who also annoyed you to your core?
He took your silence as a bit of a tease. To be fair, you two didnā€™t really know one another. You met once before and then you simply betrayed him. Quickly, you were dead to him, but now youā€™re forced to be together and it raised an important question to himself too. Why was he helping someone who obviously canā€™t be trusted?Ā 
Tangerine furrowed his eyebrows at that thought, knowing he would have thrown you to the wolves last night after you closed your eyes. He played with his watch a bit before the elevator dinged and caught both of your attentions.
After entering, the low-sounding shifting mechanics of the elevator were the only sounds between you two. You heard Tangerine sniffle, seeing him stretch his neck out of the corner of your eye, but you kept a straight view to the doors. While Tangerine thought you were continuing to give him the silent treatment, you were lost in your own thoughts of the past.
You flashbacked to your last night in Paris together, and remembered how the guilt creeped up on you knowing that, in a few hours, youā€™d have to betray both Lemon and Tangerine. Before knowing them, you didnā€™t care, but now that youā€™ve realized how hard you were falling for Tan, it felt like a double edged sword. If you didnā€™t do it, maybe you could stay with himā€“ have a life together. But, if you went through with your selfish heist, youā€™d lose the guy who made you comfortable with being vulnerable after a long time.Ā 
Obviously, you regretted your decision.
ā€œIs this what you want?ā€ You simply asked.
Tangerine quickly turned his head, ā€œWhat?ā€
You rolled your eyes before facing his direction, ā€œThis.ā€ You gestured between the two of you, ā€œThe weird animosity and constantly arguing and nit-picking?ā€
He never thought youā€™d be so bold to point it out, ā€œI mean, we donā€™t like each other. Simple, isnā€™t it?ā€
ā€œI guessā€¦ā€ You trailed, facing back toward the doors.
Tangerine licked his lips, wondering if he should utter the words on his tongue.
ā€œ...But, that doesnā€™t mean we canā€™t start over.ā€
You looked over your shoulder once more before turning around to him, ā€œYou mean that?ā€
He arched his eyebrow, ā€œShould I regret it now?ā€
Just as the elevator dinged, the doors slowly opened and the hotel lobby appeared empty. You smirked to yourself, ā€œWhy donā€™t we catch up over that drink, huh?ā€ You sort of teasedā€“ not sure if it had purpose.
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
Your drink tasted smooth, easily trailing down your throat as you leaned your head back to finish off the rest of the liquor in your glass. Once you tilted your head back straight, you were met with Tangerineā€™s signature eyebrow arch.
ā€œDonā€™t worry, Iā€™m paying for my own drinks.ā€ You sighed, placing your glass back down on the wooden table top.
ā€œAs long as I donā€™t got to carry you back up to the room.ā€ He sighed, sounding more defeated than witty, then his blue eyes glanced down then back into your eyes.
You hummed, running your finger along the rim of the empty glass.Ā 
ā€œā€˜right so, whatā€™ve you been doinā€™ since we lastā€¦ā€ He cleared his throat, ā€œsaw one other?ā€
You crossed your leg over the other, ā€œNot much. Actually, itā€™s the first time Iā€™ve been out for a while. After leaving you guys, I laid low in Tuscany.ā€
ā€œFor how long?ā€
You shrugged, ā€œFive months? I was on the countryside and I wanted to be aloneā€¦ā€ then, you smirked, ā€œI heard that you were in Kyoto.ā€Ā 
Tangerine could chuckle about it now, ā€œFor a bit. Had a job to do for some psychotic, fucked up family. The dad called in us, they were all turinā€™ on each other. Whole fuckinā€™ thingā€¦ā€
ā€œAs inā€¦ā€ You trailed, ā€œAgainst one another? The whole family?ā€
He just nodded before taking a sip of his drink.
You raised your eyebrows, ā€œWowā€¦ and you got out with no bruises or cuts? Bullet holes?ā€
Tangerine licked his lips before he presented the side of his neck, lighter skin over his tanner tone to show the scar. You carefully reached out, brushing your fingers against it which made a tingle go up his spine. You sit back down as he turned back in his chair, and he seemed to tense up.
ā€œAmazing you survived it.ā€ You sealed your lips.
He crossed his arms, ā€œI supposedā€¦ā€
A comfortable silent fell between you, the light, jazz music playing at a low, and Tangerineā€™s eyes trailed up the side of your bare leg. He didnā€™t mean to stare this much, but he felt more vulnerable than usual. One thing you knew is that Tangerine was a layered person, you had to take time to get to the center of him and realize heā€™s not so cold once you get to know him.
ā€œFive months in Tuscany, I bet that was lovely.ā€
ā€œNot really. I isolated the whole timeā€¦ I wanted to be by myself, but I felt bad about what happenedā€¦ what I did in Paris.ā€ You admitted, but didnā€™t look into his eyes, fearing that he would turn on you in a second.
Tangerine sighed, ā€œYou had to do your job, we did oursā€¦ thatā€™s ā€˜bout all that can be said.ā€Ā 
Assuming from the lack of eye contact and his tone, he seemed hurt too. You could easily let it boost your ego, but, you actually felt a relief. This hatred youā€™ve held against each other has finally come down and even though it wasnā€™t actually said, both of you can feel hostility leave the room.
You bit the inside of your cheek, ā€œRemember, weā€™re starting over. Clean slate. I hope Iā€™m making a good impression so far.ā€ You raised your eyebrows, lifting your glass again just to drink the mixture of watered down liquor.Ā 
He chuckled, ā€œYouā€™re just lovely.ā€
The comment made your face get hot. You blame the accent and how it can just get under your skin.
ā€œI donā€™t think youā€™ve ever called me something so nice.ā€
Tangerine smirked, ā€œFunny since weā€™ve just met, darling.ā€
Darling.
It was the first time you heard it as a term of endearment then pure spite.
You rolled your eyes, but you could humor that Tangerine was going along with it. This new cheeky side of him was something you didnā€™t think existedā€“ maybe it was the liquor talking, but you hoped it wasnā€™t just that simple.
ā€œSo, what brings you here?ā€ You continued to tease, placing your elbows on the table, ā€œBusinessā€¦ or pleasure?ā€ Your hand laid on top of his, brushing your fingertips along the chunky rings that perfectly fit his fingers.
Multiples thoughts sounded through both your minds.
ā€œMaybe itā€™s the liquor.ā€ ā€œMaybe weā€™re a little over our heads.ā€ ā€œMaybe weā€™re bored.ā€
But, Tangerine held your hand on top of the table, gently holding it as his thumb grazes over your knuckles.
ā€œDependsā€¦ā€ He trailed, now leaning in too, ā€œWhat are you here for?ā€
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
In just a few minutes, you two were back in the room you felt trapped in for hours.
Tangerine pressed your back against the wall, a tingle running up your spine from the coolness of the wallpaper. Your lips pressed together over and over, tilting your head before biting his bottom lip. He effortlessly lifted you up with his hand under the back of your thighs, and your ankles meet around his back.
He needed so bad, desperate evenā€¦ and the feeling was mutual.
He put you down on your feet again, pressing a kiss against your scarred cheek then another on your jaw. His light kisses run down the middle of your breasts as his hand lifted up the end of your skirt. You pushed your hips out as your back was against the wall still, watching him pull down your panties in an instant. You kick them to the side and Tangerine placed your leg over his shoulder, kisses along your inner thigh and your hand ran through the front of his curls.
Suddenly, his tongue ran over your swollen clit before sucking on it. With one hand in his hair, the other caressing your breast and running your thumb over your nipple.
Tangerine panted, moving his hand against your pussy lips. He pushed them apart, showing your tight hole and how you clench around nothing. He lowly groaned, running his fingers over your clit before sliding his two fingers into your pussy. You bite your bottom lip to hold back the moan stuck in your throat, watching him suck your clit and finger you at the same time.
Just as your climax neared, he felt your cunt tighten around his fingers. He couldnā€™t end it like this so, he took them away. You let your leg down, watching him come back up and tower over you.
ā€œIf Iā€™m goinā€™ to make you cumā€¦ā€ He sighed, ā€œIā€™m gonna be deep inside you when you fucking crumble.ā€ He said so low before pressing his fingers against your tongue, and you tasted yourself.
You pulled his hand back, running your thumbs over his tattooed hand.
ā€œNot if I make you cum first.ā€ You trailed, moving his hand down so you could kiss him.
He could drop to his knees in an instant, but Tangerine surprisingly kept his composure.Ā 
You smirked as you pushed him toward the bed, the back of his knees hitting it to make him sit down. As you stood in front of him, he leaned on his elbows as he watched your dress drop to the floor. It pooled at your ankles and when his eyes shifted back up, so glossed over, your bare body was the center of his attention.
ā€œHmm, I donā€™t think youā€™ll last.ā€ You taunted.
As much as he could snap back, you straddled him and pulled apart his tightly buttoned shirt. Your hands ran over his toned and tatted chest before reaching down to his pants, unzipping the fly and he shuffled a bit to shift them off his hips. His cock was hard, restrained from his boxers and you felt flattered.
You giggled, leaning forward to share a slow kiss with him. Your bare pussy rubbed against his cock as you moved closer to him. A low groan mumbled between your makeout, and you pushed him back so you two both fell on the bed.
Your hands pressed into each side of the mattress, gaining strength to help yourself grind against his hard. His big hands tightly held your hips as you continued your smooth momentum, whimpering at your clit being rubbed by your harsh grind.
As heat rose in the room, your right hand dipped between the two of you, and ran over his hard cock once more. Tanā€™s lips now desperately met your jaw before taking a light bite at your neck. The feeling of your hand caressing through his boxers could make him release right there.
Becoming more impatient, you finally pushed your hand into the band of his boxers and he once more moved his hips to shift out of them.Ā 
ā€œFuck, your cock is so bigā€¦ can barely hold it with my hand. God, I want you to stretch me outā€¦ā€ You moaned, ā€œIs that okay?ā€
You purposefully let him believe that he was in charge, and you were falling into the submissive role. Tangerine gained a bit of confidence from your desperate comments, and he sat more up on the bed.
ā€œFucking christā€¦ā€ Is all he could say.
He moved the swollen and red tip against your wet slit, also aching and needing your walls to wrap around him now. At first there was pressure, pushing the tip inside your hole then slowly guiding your hips down to completely take in every inch of his cock.Ā 
Once he bottomed out, your body lightly shook as your lips brushed against his. He was fully inside you, the tight and warm feeling making him wither beneath you.
Tangerine moved his hand, kissing your shoulder, ā€œGod, you feel like fuckinā€™ heaven.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t stop. Pleaseā€¦ā€ You huffed.
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
Then, it was morning.Ā 
The rising sun peaked through the small split of the curtains. As you tried to shift, your body ached throughout every muscle. A small groan left your lips, but you were pulled back by a strong arm wrapped around your waist.
It snapped you back into reality. Last night really happenedā€¦ and you were okay with that.
Tangerineā€™s tattooed arm unconsciously tightened around you, holding you close still as he still slept behind you. You barely look over your shoulder and saw his face, his eyes still shut and his curls looked wild.
You faintly smile as you turn around to face him, and thatā€™s what woke him up. He pulled his arms back and rubbed his eyes from the brightness of the sun coming in. You run your finger along a curl on his forehead, pushing it to the top of his head and your heart melted from the sight of those blue eyes.
ā€œDid last night really happen?ā€ You mumbled, but with a faint smile on your lips.
He placed his hand gently on your cheek, caressing his thumb against your jaw.Ā 
ā€œI think the real question isā€¦ā€ He trailed, ā€œDo we stay another night or go back to pretending to not know each other's existences?ā€
You bit your bottom lip, lightly giggling, ā€œI think we pick secret option three and go somewhere else. Get away for a whileā€¦ see where this is going. Donā€™t you?ā€
Just at that moment, Tangerineā€™s phone vibrated in his pants that were on the floor next to the bed. He turned over on his other side, reaching down to pull it out and reading a text Lemon just sent.
ā€œGot a call about a job in Budapest. Are you in or overstaying your weekend?ā€
Tangerine smirked at himself, then felt your lips press against his neck. You placed another kiss on his shoulder, leaving a tender love bite before he turned back around to kiss you. Maybe it was the natural thrill of the chase, but you loved the not knowing.Ā 
Whatever was next, you could only hope that he kept it interesting.
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315 notes Ā· View notes
kechiwrites Ā· 1 year
Note
Bd ghost who asks ā€œwhose pussy is this.ā€ and wonā€™t resume until reader says the special words (the special words are ā€œyours daddyā€) šŸ«”
see now you got me considering...
baby daddy ghost and reader
cw: breeding kink, daddy kink, mentions of pregnancy
because i truly believe this would end in a stalemate, can you imagine? the GALL. the AUDACITY of this man to try and make you call him daddy, SIR YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILD BARELY KNOWS YOU.
but jesus would he make it hard to stay strong, sinking deep inside your messy, weeping cunt inch by inch, sliding into your pussy like he never left. His hands are all over you, pushing against your stomach, skating over your stretch marks, pressing into your hips, meticulously cataloguing every unfamiliar change and quirk of your figure now that you've had Tommy.
and the filth is pouring out of his mouth, groaning about how happy he was about fucking you full, leaving an indelible, undeniable mark on you, how disappointed he is that he didn't get to see you get really heavy and round with his kid. How he wants to do it again, and he won't fuck it up this time. can't fuck it up this time. he says he'll marry you, make the four of you a real happy family; you, him, tommy and tommy's little brother. the kid he's fucking into you tonight.
he thrusts against your swollen cunt, holding your face in one of his hands so you can't look away when he presses his forehead to yours, urging you, begging you to call him daddy, "tell daddy to fuck a baby into you, tell me you want it."
it's only because you were pent up, you'll rationalize when he's in your shower and you're remaking your bed. If he'd caught you at a different time, you wouldn't have conceded. wouldn't have whimpered for daddy to keep fucking you. wouldn't have willed your body to him when he asked.
thankfully, you mutually decide to never bring it up again.
2K notes Ā· View notes
onigiriico Ā· 7 months
Text
Mikoto audio drama (t2) - English TL
[ links: Spotify | YouTube ]
Mikoto-ing again šŸ«” I know I say this like every other post, but I 100% recommend listening to the audio alongside the translation! On one hand the VAs just did an amazing job on this, and on the other hand I also feel like it'll. probably make the switches more obvious than I can convey in text lol
Little disclaimer about the way I translated the DID terminology here: I know the correct term in English is "alter", but in the JP audio they're consistently referred to as "personalities" (äŗŗę ¼ / jinkaku) while the closest Japanese equivalent to "alter" seems to be č‡Ŗꈑ / jiga, from what I could find. I generally try to stick as closely to the JP terminology with my translations as possible, so I mostly went with "personality". I really don't want to offend anyone here so I hope that's a somewhat okay choice ahshbsdj
Okay. Okay that got lengthy. As usual, if you find any mistranslations, have questions, etc etc feel free to send me an ask or hit me up on Twitter where I drop by, like, once a month šŸ˜… And now without further ado:
ā¬‡ļø translation under the cut ā¬‡ļø
(Es enters)
E: Mikotoā€¦
M: Ahā€¦ Hi, Warden-kun.
E: Youā€¦ are Mikoto, right?
M: Uhā€¦ What are you talking about? It really feels like itā€™s been a while, doesnā€™it? How have you been? ā€“ Huh? Whatā€™s thatā€¦? Chains? Oh, no. Take them off!
E: I refuse. Youā€™re too dangerous. Physical restrictions are necessary.
M: Ummā€¦ (laughs) What are you saying, restricting someone who canā€™t even hurt a fly?
E: You really arenā€™t aware, huhā€¦
M: Well, I meanā€¦ I do get it. Iā€¦ go out of control while Iā€™m asleep, right?
E: ā€¦
M: The others told me about it. How I got into a fistfight with Koto-chan and whatnot.
E: Seems like it, yeah.
M: I wonder if itā€™s likeā€¦ some kind of sleepwalkingā€¦? After all, Iā€™ve been losing sleep more and more often recentlyā€¦ Manā€¦ Itā€™s really troublesome, isnā€™t it?
E: Mikotoā€¦
M: The others are all scared of me. I can tell by looking at the way they act. Because I read the room.
E: ā€¦
M: Itā€™s pretty tough, isnā€™t it? (laughs) Ever since I came here, so much has been happening that I donā€™t understandā€¦
E: ā€¦ You reallyā€¦ do laugh when youā€™re suffering, huh?
M: Huh?
E: You donā€™t get angry. You donā€™t scream. You laugh, like itā€™s a minor inconvenience.
M: Ahā€¦ I guess so. I might have that kind of trait.
E: ā€¦
M: Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? Iā€™m pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities.
E: Is that soā€¦
M: (laughs) ā€¦Butā€¦ itā€™s not coming to an end. All of this. With things Iā€™ve never even heard before, the whole tiā€”
E: ā€¦
M: ā€”the whole timeā€¦ I have to make all these irritating experiencesā€¦!
E: You came out, huh.
M: Hey. Looks like you havenā€™t gotten a beating yet, Warden brat.
E: ā€¦!
M: Hah? What, are you scared?
E: Like you didnā€™t get beaten by Kotokoā€¦!
M: Hah. That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep, and itā€™s not like I lost there.
E: Multiple personalitiesā€¦ Am I right with the assumption that the you Iā€™m talking to right now is another personality of Mikotoā€™s?
M: Well, I guess thatā€™s about right.
E: I see. What do you want me to call you?
M: Huh? Youā€™re accepting this pretty readily, arenā€™t you. Wouldnā€™t the whole multiple personalities thing normally raise some eyebrows?
E: Yeah. I also didnā€™t think it was real, at first.
M: Figures. If it wasnā€™t me, I wouldnā€™t believe it either. Iā€™d just think itā€™s a lie someone came up with to get away with murder.
E: But Milgram acknowledges that [it is real] in your case. I simply accept that as the truth, and develop my thoughts from there. So? What do you want me to call you? Your name.
M: No clue about that. Just call me whatever.
E: ā€¦ For convenience, Iā€™ll be calling you John.
M: Sounds like a dogā€™s name.
E: Itā€™s derived from John Doe, the name given to unidentified bodies. Do you like it?
M: Canā€™t say Iā€™m very fond of the way youā€™re flaunting your knowledge.
E: ā€¦ Anyway. Youā€™re acting pretty calm today, arenā€™t you? I thought of you more like a monster of some sort. I wasnā€™t expecting to have such a proper conversation with you.
M: Donā€™t get cocky! If not for these chains, I wouldā€™ve beaten your face in by now, brat.
E: Ohh, scary, scary.
M: Hmph.
E: John, you are not a prisoner of Milgram. The fact that Milgramā€™s usual restraints are ineffective against you is more proof for that than anything. Milgram has judged that Mikoto is the prisoner, and you, as his alter, are an exception.
M: Huhh, I see. So thatā€™s why you believe that thereā€™s multiple personalities.
E: Thatā€™s why I thought I would try and talk to you as a key witness today. Iā€™m rather glad that youā€™re being cooperative.
M: But, you knowā€¦ This isnā€™t a good thing, probably.
E: What do you mean?
M: I (boku) might be trying to disappear.
E: ā€¦
M: Evidently, the time I (ore) have been fronting has been getting longer, so this ā€œmeā€ has been able to stabilize. Isnā€™t that the reason we can talk properly?
E: ā€¦
M: If I had stayed a monsterā€¦ maybe that would be better.
E: ā€¦
M: What?
E: Youā€™ve turned out to be much more rational than I expectedā€¦ Iā€™m surprised.
M: Iā€™m a university graduate, after all.
E: (sighs)
M: As for altersā€¦ Why do you think theyā€™re born?
E: In precise terms, itā€™s called dissociative identity disorder ā€“ generally speaking, [it refers to] when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created to try and isolate [the original personality] from the resulting trauma.
M: Yeah. Iā€¦ probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress.
E: Stressā€¦ Namely the environment of Milgram, right?
M: Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. Thatā€™s why heā€™s entrusting me with his heart.
E: I see.
M: Not like I can blame him. From his point of view, heā€™s being blamed for a crime he canā€™t even remember.
E: If thatā€™s the truth, thenā€¦ youā€™re the one who committed the murder?
M: Yeah, itā€™s me. I killed them off.
E: ā€¦
M: So Boku really didnā€™t do it.
E: Can I askā€¦ why you killed them?
M: They annoyed me.
E: Who did you kill?
M: Just someone who was walking around nearby.
E: ā€¦ How many did you kill?
M: Canā€™t remember. I was first born back then, you know. Itā€™s kinda fuzzy.
E: How can you talk about that so calmly?
M: (sighs) According to the law, how would this go for Boku?
E: With a psychiatric evaluation, thereā€™s a chance of a reduced sentence, but depending on the number of victimsā€¦ the death penalty might be inevitable.
M: ā€¦! Iā€“ Iā€™m the one who did it! Boku was just sleeping!
E: Is this really something that works that conveniently?
M: Just put yourself in Bokuā€™s shoes for a moment! He was bottling up all his stress! He kept dealing with it all by himself the whole time, until it exploded! Itā€™s not like he just decided that he wanted to hurt somebody!
E: ā€¦
M: Heā€™s not the type of person who could do stuff like that! He always looks out for others, always reads the room, always tries to get along with people around him! He canā€™t do stuff like thatā€¦ He was on the verge of exploding! Thatā€™s why I was born. Itā€™s obvious, isnā€™t it? Boku didnā€™t do anything!
E: Even if thatā€™s trueā€¦ Even if it wasnā€™t what Mikoto wanted ā€“ someoneā€™s life was still lost.
M: ā€¦!
E: Even if it was you, John, who was in [your body at the time] ā€“ thereā€™s no way for you to prove that. At the very least not in a way that would be accepted in court. It could still be judged that youā€™re pretendingā€”
M: Youā€¦!! What do you think?
E: Iā€¦?
M: Iā€™m the one who did it! Boku didnā€™t do it! You know that because of Milgram! I donā€™t care about the law, I want to know what you think!
E: ā€¦
M: Pleaseā€¦ forgive Boku. Iā€™m the one who did it.
E: ā€¦ I canā€™tā€¦ judge that right away. Itā€™s not something that I can easily decide to forgive. In fact, Mikotoā€™s mental footage was so violentā€¦ itā€™s unforgivable. Thatā€™s how I judged.
M: That could also just be a fake or owed to the multiple personalities, right?! Boku really isnā€™t at fault! Iā€™m the one who killed them!
E: ā€¦
M: Are you really satisfied [with the unforgiven judgment]? He turned into a murderer overnight!
E: What you did could still be considered a sin, though!
M: ā€¦! ā€¦ I thinkā€¦ I might be the person Boku wishes he was. The person who stubbornly stands his ground, who doesnā€™t cry himself to sleep from stress, who gives people their payback. If I, the ā€œoreā€ personality, hadnā€™t been born, Iā€™m sure Boku would have reached his limit and fallen apart.
E: Johnā€¦ youā€¦
M: Itā€™s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everythingā€¦ and the weakness of Boku, who couldnā€™t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. Butā€¦ thatā€™s all there is to it. Is that a sin?
E: Iā€™ll be considering that after this.
M: After talking to you, I get that you couldnā€™t forgive what I did. And Iā€™m fine with that.
E: ā€¦Yeah. Thatā€™s right.
M: The one Milgram is supposed to judge is Boku ā€“ Mikoto, right. Heā€™s not me ā€“ so, not John.
E: Precisely.
M: Please, forgive Boku. If you donā€™tā€¦ Iā€™m sure he wonā€™t be able to deal with this any longer.
E: ā€œA sin committed by another personality isnā€™t a sinā€... youā€™re telling me thatā€™s how I should judge?
M: Yeah. If you forgive Bokuā€¦ Iā€™ll disappear.
E: ā€¦
M: Thatā€™s right. Iā€™ll have to disappear eventually, anywayā€¦ Disappear, and take all of it with me. Iā€¦ was born to protect Boku, after all.
E: You wereā€¦ born for itā€¦
M: Yeah. If itā€™s for Boku, Iā€™llā€¦ do anything.
(machinery whirrs, bell rings)
E: Johnā€¦
M: Wā€¦what? A dogā€™s name?
E: Mikotoā€¦?
M: Warden-kun, you own a dog? What breed? No, wait, let me try guessing firstā€“ A toy poodle? Actually, maybe you surprisingly prefer the ugly-cute kindā€¦ like a French bulldog!
E: ā€¦ Noā€¦
M: A pug, then?
E: Itā€™s not the name of a dog!
M: Ehhā€¦ Then whatā€¦?
E: ā€¦ Itā€™s the name of yourā€¦ friend.
M: (laughs) I donā€™t know anyone like that~
E: ā€¦ I bet you donā€™t.
M: Huhā€¦?
E: Prisoner no.9, Mikoto. Sing your sins.
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l0vegl0wsinthedark Ā· 11 months
Text
Yours, Always and With Love
Warnings: (implied) MCD, angst
For @longdaytogo šŸ«”šŸ„²
~
Dear "Mycroft",
I think I've finally figured out who you are. And I think it is bloody bollocking funny that I ended up with you as my pen pal. Are you really in the States? Merlin, I want to know what they think of you over there.
And you're wrong. There are people who miss you where you used to live.
You fucked up my nose,
HP
~
I don't know who you think I am, but I'm not that person. You're not always right. You're can't be all good. People like you don't survive for long. I'm nothing like you and even I barely made it. You think you're special but you're just another fool like me. Find a new life like I did. Your government does not deserve your loyalty.
You deserved it for spying on me,
D. Mycroft
~
Malfoy.
I don't do what I do out of a sense of loyalty. I do it because I want to be of some use. I'm definitely not all good and am most certainly a fool, you're right.
People keep writing about my bravery. They don't know I fake it. They don't know how afraid I am all the time. If I were less afraid, I'd find that new life.
HP
~
Dear Potter,
I think I might enjoy tales of your masked cowardice. Write some down and send them along with your next letter.
You do what you do because you were brainwashed into thinking that it is your purpose in life. It is decidedly not, I assure you.
Fake it one more time and find that new life. You'll thank me for it. And maybe you'll stop whinging about your crooked nose.
Sincerely,
Draco Malfoy.
~
Dear Malfoy,
Is my nose actually crooked because Hermione insists it's not, and Ron always starts talking about Ludo Bagman's nose? Needless to say, they're not very convincing. I now know why my dates never owl me back.
Speaking of which, I've had help throughout all of my many celebrated adventures. Perhaps if I had help (read: company) I might actually go start that new life. Find a new name too, maybe, while retaining my real initials of course. I'd hate to have to change my signature.
What do you think fits well with "HP"?
Best,
Harry
~
Dear Hideous Pumpkin,
I think your dates might owl you back if you shaved that scraggly beard off and found new glasses. You look like an expensively dressed homeless person in all your press photos.
We have a way of finding what we seek, I think. Three weeks ago, all I really wanted was to make a connection. Now I'm writing this one prat every other day and it feels quite fulfilling, rather.
You do have company. Look closer.
Best,
Draco M
~
Malfoy,
Sorry about the late reply. Work-related rubbish that you're probably not interested in.
I actually have been considering new frames. Do you think I should get bedazzled ones? I think they're in vogue now. They might help bring out my eyes or something.
It's a funny thing: connection. Kind of unpredictable where one might find 'em, right? I think I'm glad the pen pal agency connected me to you. It's definitely a fulfilling connection.
I'm writing this at 3am right before I run into work and get assigned a new mission. I'll be undercover and incognito so receiving/sending mail won't be possible, so I'll respond next when I'm back home. To make up for it, I've written down some of my earliest memories of my life in the cupboard and how I once locked my cousin in there. Go nuts and I hope you pull something as you laugh at me, you prat.
I'll be thinking of you.
Harry
~
Dear Potter,
I enjoyed your little collection of memories. You really were always an idiot, I've learnt. I don't know what on earth possessed you to believe that any of it would make me laugh, though. You rightfully blame me for a crooked nose but you don't think to unapologetically ruin the people who stomped on you like a bug when you were a baby and then proceeded to keep you under their boot until you were eleven?
I'm flying to England on the 24th. I'll be staying at the Ritz, London. If you're back from your mission and you're well, ring me at the hotel and ask for D. Mycroft. We'll have dinner or something. My treat.
I truly despise your job. I don't like the idea of you cut off from me the world like that.
I hope to see you soon.
Draco
~
Potter, I'm writing only because it would be incredibly rude of me to leave without telling you. I don't know what you think of me after last night. I might have asked you, if you'd been here when I woke up.
I'm sorry.
Malfoy
~
Draco, you absolute fucking idiot.
You write to me instead of ringing me on the number I gave you? And then I stroll into the fucking Ritz clutching sausage rolls and shitty coffee and the receptionist has to politely insist that I bugger off because "Mr. Mycroft has checked out already"?!
TEXT ME with your phone number and address. I'll book the next available flight to you.
You fucking idiot oh my god.
Harry
~
Dear Hideous Pumpkin Head,
You left three of your socks here and none match. Also, I know we only just hung up but I still wanted to write because somehow it's harder to insult you when I'm in front of you or listening to your voice.
My sheets stink of you. I'm never leaving this bed, I think.
Draco
~
Draco. Can't call. Destroy your phone and SIM. Stay within wards. Don't lose sight of your wand.
I will contact you as soon as possible. I am so fucking sorry. My god please be safe I am so sorry.
I love you.
Harry
~
Harry,
Did I really need to get a new owl? I'm perfectly safe and I am not afraid. Not anymore. Not when I have you.
I'm hoping that when you write me back, it will be to tell me that you've handed in your notice. The new flat here is enormous and it feels empty without you. Tell me when you'll be shipping your stuff and I'll make arrangements to have them brought here.
I can't wait.
Love,
Draco
~
Harry, why won't you answer your stupid phone? Honestly, I'm tempted to write to the Ministry right now, if only I hadn't spent the last fifteen years wiping away all traces of my existence. How's the notice period going? Have you started packing yet? It's very, very quiet here and it's unsettling. I may end up getting a talking bird and it'll be your fault.
Please call me.
Love,
Draco
~
Harry your phone is turned off and I can't think why and I am writing separately to Granger as well. If I don't hear from either of you in three days, I'm coming back there and I don't care about fucking dark wizards. I'M a dark wizard, as I was reminded often. We'll fight them off together.
Please I can't bear this respond.
Draco
~
Granger says you went missing eleven days ago. I don't care if you're undercover. My owl won't come back without finding you first.
~
Dear Harry,
Today I woke up and looked out the window and it was snowing. Almost Christmas already! That night at the Ritz you talked about your horrifying Christmas experiences as a child and I vowed to rectify that as soon as I'm able.
I've hung up twenty-two stockings, my darling, and they all have your name on it. I have a list of things I think you'd have loved and I'm going to find them all and stuff those stockings until they're bursting.
I'm getting our tree today. You said you'd always wanted a real one. I wish you were here so we could decorate it together. I hate ladders.
I keep thinking about I can't believe it's been six months alre I want you here I can't pretend anymore Please come take me away with you
I miss you. Every second of every minute, I miss you. I love you more with each passing day. I want you to come back Harry plea
Yours, always and with love,
Draco
~
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