#i didn't talk about twilight because i'd need to read twilight

[purplerakath]

Toxic Ships

Before I get to the meat of this thought I can’t get out of my mind, this isn’t about Toxic Ships in the sense that ‘characters harmful to each other’ as that’s not what I care about, and often that’s good storytelling with a purpose. Lost on parts of the audience due to poor critical media literacy but that’s a fight for another day.

This is about Ships toxic to the show as a whole. With a larger ‘excuse to talk about old ABCFamily/Freeform series’ as the main course but an overall wide topic under the cut here about how these sorts of things happen to shows, books, and movies.

So overall, a toxic ship on this rubric is one that, through focus, actively harms the story it’s in. Either actively because the show is putting time into it when it has other more important plot beats it should focus on. Or passively because the nature of the ship is antithetical to the themes and message of the work.

It isn’t a measure of how pure and good the romance is, because I will say this right now: Romeo and Juliet isn’t detrimental to the plot of Romeo & Juliet. It is in fact *the plot*. And all things in it web off from this nineteen year old and this fourteen year old who really want to bone.

Like- yes, a ton of death could be avoided if they didn’t, but that’s the plot.

I’d say the most basic is a forced heterosexual love interest to avoid the active leads being seen as gay because if it was just two dudes hanging out in an adventure plot without a girl that’d be kind of gay. Usually it isn’t that damaging because those sorts of love interests aren’t given a ton of time or plot energy, but it would count as what I’m looking for.

But my comparison will be two relatively comparable ships from shows on the same network in close to the same time frame. Where both ships are equally ‘bad’ for the involved characters, held up as good in their respective fandoms, but one of the two hugely hurts its show.

Study One: Switched at Birth Bay and Emmett

So Bay & Emmett get together halfway into Season 1, break up before the end of the same season, are awkwardly possessive of each other through S2 and S3 while broken up, get together in S3 by Bay cheating on her current boyfriend with Emmett. Have the worst possible break-up in S4 for the worst possible reasoning all around. Bay gets called out on her shitty vindictive behavior, then end S5 not reunited.

They are messy, complicated, actively harmful to each other, and completely fine as a baseline relationship for the show as a whole.

While Bay and Emmett aren’t together, it’s clear they care about the other’s health and happiness (save that S4 thing I alluded to), and when they are together it’s generally sweet outside of pressures from outside of their relationship. Emmett spends all of S1 struggling with his parents divorce. And then Bay is suffering through being a main character in an ABCFamily series in S2 and S4.

It’s messy but it’s also *fine*, it doesn’t hurt the show overall, their chemistry is strong. And outside of their relationship are about the best written characters in the main cast.

And our other (less shining example)...

Study Two: The Fosters Callie and Brandon

So similarly they get together in S1, break-up afterwards. Are off most of S2 but perpetually pining for each other while trying to do their own things. Pine more for each other in Season 3 before sleeping together when both are having a rough go. Then can’t be together cause of the lede I am burying right now. Spend Season 4 doing their own thing, and then we revisit this will they won’t they in the series Finale in S5, at Brandon’s wedding. To someone else.

Because they started as foster siblings and become adopted siblings.

Now, if this was just the first two seasons. Callie wanting to blow her life up in spectacular fashion because Callie’s bad at self-preservation, realizing things can be good, then letting this die and never touching it again I’d be okay. It’s a messy teenager feeling plot and I am fine with those. It is doomed out of the gate and not a good tension mark for the series as a whole. But the plot kept going. Forever. All five seasons. And that’s the problem. They can’t be together it undermines the very message of the show. It’s not a great Brandon character beat because his sudden lust on first meeting her is just that. It doesn’t do anything. Every time it blows up a ship with an actual chance it just feels insulting. Because of how clandestined it is they can’t be called out on their behavior.

And the writers really liked it and I cannot get behind that at all!

And both of them have better tension points to come back to. Callie’s a self-destructive mess due to years of being ground down by a system that convinced her she doesn’t matter, so she fights tooth and nail to protect others at the detriment of herself. This is a much stronger line to explore, but we can’t as we have to keep going back to this plot.

And Brandon is trying to save every pretty girl that crosses his path, which never really gets addressed out loud? The why of it. But he dates Talya (insecure basketcase), Callie (see above), Lou (token normal girlfriend), Cortney (single mom), and Grace (literally dying). Brallie makes Brandon a weaker character through how his plots warp into moony-eyed possessive jerk.

I’m not going to go so far as to utopia.meme if Brallie wasn’t a major plot beat. But it’d be way better. Callie’s plots are better without this ship. Brandon’s plots could be amazing without it. Callie and Brandon interacting outside of this specific plot would be better without this plot looming over them in the eyes of the rest of the cast.

And why bring it up in the Series Finale!?

And I guess my lesson is...

It’s great to have romantic subplots, friendships, friendship+, love, and what-have-you ground and humanize your character whatever ways you get it. But make sure that the narrative doesn’t undercut or overstay it’s welcome.

It doesn’t need to move your story forward on it’s own, but it absolutely can’t have it hold your story back. That’s kind of the gist of this.

#writing theory #writing advice #switched at birth #the fosters #i didn't talk about twilight because i'd need to read twilight #and honestly I don't think it's that bad #but mostly because like R&J it is the plot #i also didn't do PLL because I don't have time for that #and literally so many ships would hit toxic for the show #just not the lethal toxicity of Ezra

[whateversawesome]

Let's Talk About Yor

Something is going on with Yor lately. Have you noticed it too?

Even though she wasn't in every chapter of the latest big arc (Wheeler-Yuri-Twilight confrontation), the arc started with her and ended with her and I think there's a reason for that.

As I mentioned before, Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. She surpasses Twilight on this, who struggles with his own emotions and the emotions of others too.

So the way Yor works is by becoming aware of an emotion or a change within herself and then she reflects on that. Then, things happen to her and she reflects some more about that issue or emotion, which is usually connected to the things that are happening around her.

Example: Look at the chapters leading to the cruise arc. Fiona showed up and Yor started questioning her place in the Forger family. Everything seemed to be cleared out during that same visit, but then Loid went to a tennis tournament with Fiona and Yor kept thinking about this. When the tennis challenge happened, even though Yor won, this didn't make her feel better, quite the opposite. Finally, Loid reassured her during that date in the bar, right after he got kicked on the chin.

That should have been it, right? Wrong. More things kept happening to Yor and she kept thinking about her place in the world, whether or not she should keep her assassin job until we finally get to that moment when she realizes her reason to keep on living and protecting is her family.

I get the feeling we're now at a similar point in the manga. Somehow everything keeps pointing to Yor, specifically to Yor and her relationship with Loid. Look at what's happening to Yor and tell me what you think is coming:

1.That chat with her office friends about gripes, marriage and welcome home kisses.

2.The welcome home kiss that never happened when she got home.

3."The fight" she had with Loid, or more specifically: thinking about her husband while he was shot by Yuri. (Those sad eyes said a lot!).

4.That honest talk she had with Twilight where she tells him she wants to take care of him.

5.Her chat with Yuri, where her brother asked her if she loves Loid.

6.Meeting the Authens, a real marriage, and seeing them kiss. (The Authens' Theory here.)

See what I mean? If we take into consideration the way Yor grows as a character and the way she realizes things, then where is this heading?

It's clear Yor is about to realize she has feelings for Loid!

The way the story keeps pointing at a kiss with giant arrows is not a coincidence. For Yor, who is inexperienced, a kiss would mean true love and a real marriage (which is what she wants). If the almost kiss didn't happen at the beginning of the story (when Yuri visited) is because back then, the marriage wasn't real. Maybe they liked each other and a little more, but they had just met.

Now about the first twiyor kiss...we'll you can read my theory on that here. And I'd like to add a little more...

I know I said I wanted it to happen in the movie, but I admit I was being waaaay too optimistic about it. Sadly, I don't think it'll happen in the movie. Like some of you mentioned, that moment belongs to the manga and I agree.

However, all that is happening with Yor is leading to that kiss. I still believe she'll be the one who takes that step and will be the one who kisses Twilight. I insist; it's part of her character arc, which is about gaining confidence in herself, becoming a woman, and feeling worthy of love.

At this point, she's on the verge of figuring out her own feelings and after that happens, she needs to accept them and then figure out how she wants to proceed. I believe it won't be an easy task for her. Knowing Yor, she won't want to inconvenience Loid and impose her feelings on him. She also won't want to risk what she already has: her family. So it will take a while and maybe a little encouragement (maybe from the Authens?) to get to the point of actually want to act on these feelings.

But it's coming.

#spy x family #twiyor #loid forger #yor forger #sxf #spy x family meta #spyxfamily #loidyor #loid x yor #spy x family anime #spy x family manga #spy x family theory #twilight #spy x family twilight #thorn princess

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 96... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

OMG!! THIS CHAPTER WAS BOTH SO GOOD & SO HILARIOUS!! 😆

This chapter is probably gonna be a new favorite of mine, especially because of that absolutely unexpected thing that happened right before the end of the chapter...!! 😵 So let's talk about it, shall we? 😉

Mission 96 starts back where we basically left of...

...to see who will get to dance with Damian!!💃

To figure this out, Ewen and Emile come up with some challenges to see who is worthy to dance with their Boss Man!! 😆

The first challenge has to do with endurance so the young ladies have to stand on one leg and clap to the until only remain... And since Twilight's there to help Anya win at cost, of course he has a way cheat!!:

But then, THIS HAPPENS...!!:

ANYA ABSOLUTE NUT! 👏🤣👏🤣👏🤣👏🤣

Also... What Twilight said about his arm after Anya's silly antics was ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS TOO!! 😂😂😂

Moving on to the second challenge, the girls must do an obstacle course and who ever are the five fastest will advance to the third and final round!! 👏 A lot of the girls are struggling, but Anya is off to a great start!!

They had to jump over a hurdle (which Anya fell on her face afterward, but still kept going 😂), get through a trap zone (which Anya ripped her dress and stuck for a bit LOOKING LIKE THIS...!!):

THIS FACE OF ANYA'S KILLED ME!! 🤣🤣🤣

The final part of the obstacle course was the Inchworm Crawl, AND ANYA GOT THIRD PLACE, so she's still in this!! 👏😆

The third and final challenge was a quiz about Damian, and Twilight thought that he had it in the bag, but...:

Twilight you silly, silly man...! 😌

Anyway, since this is quiz, of course Anya is gonna use her mind reading abilities to get the right answers...!! Though she almost slips up when she answers a question that probably only Damian, Emile and Ewen know, she makes up for it by missing some questions...!! Anya and one of the other little girls only needed one answer to win, and the question was: Who does Damian love the most?

At first I thought the answer was gonna be Anya, but I'm pretty sure that Ewen and Emile still have no clue that Damian likes her...! 😅 So everyone guessed, but Anya knew what the answer was...:

MY HEART...!! 💗🥹💗

And so, Anya was victorious and got to dance with Damian!! 🎉

HELL, HENDERSON AND MARTHA EVEN GOT TO DANCE WITH EACH OTHER!! 💗😍💗 (This chapter is GOATED for that as well...!!! 👏😆)

Besides that, though Damian and Anya were having some trouble dancing with each other at first, they started to get hang of if it!! 😁 And then...:

EXCUSE ME, WHAT!?!?

Luckily, Damian didn't believe her, but THIS BOMBSHELL may have some ramifications if Damian just casually mentions this to either Melinda, Donovan or someone else dangerous in the future...!! 😱 I am confident that Damian if does eventually believe what Anya told him, he would most definitely keep her secret, but if he doesn't realize it soon, who knows what could happen...!! 😥

And that was Mission 96...

...A FREAKING AMAZING CHAPTER...!!! 👏👏👏

I still can't believe Anya told Damian the truth, though he doesn't believe her yet, it is very possible that he will in future...!! 😊

And to all those that those that thought that Damian would be the first one to know that Anya can read minds, I tip my hat to you guys...!! 👏😄 (Also the damianya shippers are EATING GREAT!! 👏😆👏😆👏😆)

Anyway, I think that's all I wanna say, especially since I know that I'd be here while spouting out theory after theory about what is to come (and wonder if this is gonna lead into Mission 100...!! 🤔) So until next time; take care, be safe out there and be kind to one another...!! 💗 LATERS!! 👋😄

#spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #Mission 96 #spy x family manga #sxf manga #spyxfamily manga #spy x family spoilers #sxf spoilers #spyxfamily spoilers #manga spoilers #anya forger #loid forger #damian desmond #becky blackbell #ewen egeburg #emile elman #henry henderson #martha marriott #I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT ANYA SAID TO DAMIAN!! 😵 #WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR THE FUTURE!?!? 😱

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Little Favors

Title: Little Favors

Word Count: I lost count

Warnings: !EXTREME FLUFF AHEAD! Y'all don't even get it. So much fluff. The only warning I can come up with is a use of the slut word and a couple innuendos because Kol. Oh, also, canon is whatever I want it to be.

Summary: You know what? Adventures in Babysitting. That's all you need to know. Let's see if you guys can spot all the places where the reader almost becomes aware of the supernatural! || Kol Mikaelson x reader || Here lies my Masterlist ||

A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone so here's this surprise fic in celebration of this account reaching 300 followers. Thanks to everyone who's supported me!

✨STORY BEGINS BELOW✨

"Hey, do you wanna come over for a bit?"

You sent the text and bit your lip, hoping against hope that he'd say yes. Seconds later, your phone chirped with a reply. 

"Do you even have to ask?"

A relieved smile spread across your lips.

"Yeah, still do. Thanks tho."

"See you soon, love."

You raised a brow at that.

"How soon exactly?"

His response was almost instant.

"Very."

Your head snapped up as the doorbell rang through your house. How was he always doing that? If you didn't know better, you'd think your friend was the Flash or something. Peeling yourself off the couch, you wandered over to the front door and threw it open. There, standing on your front porch, putting away his earbuds was the most handsome boy alive - or at least within the tiny town of Mystic Falls. You leaned your head on the door and lifted a brow.

"So what's your excuse this time?" You asked, suppressing a smirk. Kol just chuckled, dragging a hand through his slightly damp hair. Good heavens, he was hot when he did that. The sight set off a round of butterflies in your stomach. 

Kol Mikaelson had moved into town with his family about two months earlier. He was a senior at your high school, along with his younger sister, Rebekah. They were Irish twins or something - you didn't quite know the specifics. Of course, in a town as tiny as yours, Kol and his family quickly became the talk of the town and despite not being one for drama, even you could admit that there was plenty to talk about. The family was English, and wealthy and all of them were outrageously attractive. Honestly, your first thought about them had been something along the lines of: "What kind of wacky Twilight crap is this?" It was so weird and, as ashamed as you were to admit it, you had avoided the new kids at first.

Such a course of action had been extremely difficult, primarily because you shared four classes with Kol and he'd been seated next to you in all of them. What are the odds, right? But, wait, it gets worse! Every day, when you say down, Kol would greet you with a smile and attempt to start a conversation. With dark hair, amber eyes, and a square jaw - not to mention that crooked smirk - the guy was so gorgeous, you didn't even know what to do. Intimidated by his status, his good looks, and his excellent sense of humor, you just tried your best to pretend he didn't exist.

Well, it hadn't taken him long to get fed up with that act. So one day you'd walked in to see a note sitting on your desk. It was addressed to you and written in perfect cursive, because of course his handwriting had to be impeccable too. The note read: "Dearest Y/N, I'm sorry I exist. If there's anything else I've done to offend you, then you have my sincerest apologies. Now, will you please stop acting like you've seen me commit murder? I'd really appreciate it. Your neighbor, Kol." Unable to contain your laughter, you'd started a timid conversation with Kol and the two of you had hit it off pretty quickly after that.

You'd learned that Kol and his sister were simply two really nice kids just doing their best to fit in at a new school, nothing more than that. As you got to know him a little better, it surprised you that Kol desired you to be his friend. He was intelligent, talented, and beyond attractive - one of those instant popular kid types - he could have been friends with anyone, yet he chose you. No one ever chose you. Ever. You had spent your high school carrier being invisible, and you were good at it! So when the most attractive guy in the twelfth grade started hanging out with you, people started paying attention and rumors got rolling pretty quickly.

Were you dating Kol Mikaelson? That was the question everyone at school was trying to answer. To be perfectly honest, you had no idea. He'd asked you to hang out a few times at different places around town, but he'd never labeled it as an actual date. And sure, he flirted with you quite a bit but that boy flirted with just about everything with a heartbeat! As far as you were aware, he only liked you as a friend which was exactly why you were trying hard to hide your nerves right now.

"I know it's crazy, but I swear I was right around the corner when you texted," He said.

You narrowed your eyes. "Doing what, exactly?"

"Just walking." He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "Trying to clear my head."

"Really?" You scoffed. "In the snow?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's barely snowing, but yes."

You hummed. "Right…"

"It's the truth, love," Kol said. He rubbed his eyes.

"Uh, huh."

"I'm being completely honest!"

"You better be," You said, grinning. "Otherwise, the only sane conclusion I can come up with is that you're stalking me."

"As gorgeous as you are darling, that's not the case." Kol snickered and stepped forward, leaning his weight against the door frame. He crossed his arms, looking down at you with those droopy, amber puppy-dog eyes that you'd been in love with for as long as you'd known him.

You swallowed thickly. That position perfectly accentuated his lithe body, for a high schooler, the guy was insanely well built. Ugh! And those eyes! Those eyes made you want to throw yourself at him or disappear and you didn't know which one.

"Well, good. 'Cuz that would be creepy," You replied a little quietly. Kol hummed and nodded.

"So…" He trailed off and leaned closer almost conspiratorially. "Do I get to ask why you invited me over to your house on a Friday night?"

You tugged on a loose strand of hair, twisting it around your finger. "I mean, you are kinda the only friend I've got…" The only other person you'd consider a friend was Matt Donovan and the two of you really weren't close.

"I know." He smirked. Oh, he really wasn't making this easy on you.

"So I thought I might ask for your help?"

Kol wet his lips and tilted his head innocently. Geez, he was so much taller than you. "With what, exactly?" He asked.

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. "W-well my parents aren't home and-"

His brows shot up and he blinked. "I don't believe this…" A slow impish grin spread across Kol's face and he leaned closer, eyes raking your body as he loomed over you. "Y/N, are you propositioning me?"

If you had been drinking water, you would have done a spit take. You felt like your whole body was blushing and you might as well have looked at Medusa for how still your limbs became. "N-no! Uh… I-I-I… um…" What were you even supposed to say to that? Why did he have to be so attractive?! It really wasn't fair!

"Are you sure?" He asked, stepping that much closer. "Because I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." You thought you saw Kol glance down at your lips, but you must have been imagining things. 

You twisted the fabric of your shirt between your fingers, struggling to find something intelligent to say. "That-that's not… I mean, that's not what I-" You sighed. "This would be a lot easier to explain if you came inside." You opened the door wide so he could come in, but he hesitated.

Kol raised a brow, almost surprised. "You want me to come in?" 

"Yeah," You mumbled. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." He shoved himself off the door frame and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. You stepped back a good four feet, trying to dispel some of the tension. He glanced over his shoulder, gesturing at the coat rack behind him. "Mind if I-"

"Yeah, sure."

He shot you a little smile and stripped his jacket off before hanging it on the coat rack. He must have noticed your bare feet because he took off his shoes too, kicking them next to the door. Then he turned back to you and cocked his head. 

"So, your parents aren't home…" He started.

"Nope." You shook your head. You couldn't seem to stop blushing. What was your problem?

Kol nodded, rubbing his lower lip with his thumb. "It's just you and me then?" He asked, taking a step closer to you again. His eyes were slightly hooded and there was something in them that you'd never seen before. It was… admiring, bordering on hungry. 

You shot him a nervous smile. "Well… not exactly…"

His brows drew together and he lifted his head a little. "What do you mean? Who else is here?" His voice was calm enough but he seemed almost suspicious. You didn't have time to wonder why.

"Meow, Meow!" 

The high-pitched whine came from just behind you and his eyes flew wide. You smiled sheepishly and slid one step to the side. The boy dropped his gaze down to your feet. Sitting on the floor, poised exactly like a little kitten, was your baby sister. The two stared at each other for a moment before Kol threw his head back and laughed. It was a vibrant, sincere sound, full of light-hearted mirth. He doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees. Clearly, he found this situation rather humorous. 

"I'm sorry…" You hissed, biting your lip.

Kol waved a hand. "Don't be! It's completely fine." He tilted his head and knelt to be closer to the little girl's height. "Hey there, little one! How are you?"

"Meow! Meow!" Your baby sister responded. 

You nodded and shrugged. "This is my baby sister. Her name's Nora and she's a two and a half year old menace to society."

Kol snorted. "I don't know about that, darling. She looks pretty harmless to me." He waved at the little girl and she recoiled, hiding behind your leg.

"Meow, meow! Meow, meow!" She said, pretending to tremble. This was her newest little game. 

You sighed. "She's also a cat."

"Ah! I see," The boy hummed, keeping his eyes fixed on the little girl. He must have known she wanted the attention. "Is your big sister right? Are you a kitten?"

Nora nodded. "Meow, meow!"

"Oh, alright then. So, if you're a little kitten, then you'll probably want to sniff my hand so we can become best friends. Isn't that right?" He held his hand out as one does for a cat or dog. You raised a brow as you watched your baby sister crawl over to him. She sat up when she reached his hand and grabbed it, bumping her nose against his knuckle. Then she flipped it over and rubbed his palm against her cheek. He chuckled. "Hello, Nora."

"Purrr. Purrr." She said.

Kol grinned. "Awww! You're a cute little kitty-cat! Aren't you?" He scratched her chin a little bit before scooping her up so he could stand. 

"Careful," You warned. "She'll lick you too."

The instant you spoke, Nora stuck her little tongue out and licked his cheek. He blinked and you pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning. Much to your surprise, Kol didn't so much as frown. He just laughed, shrugging.

"Still better than, Henrik!" He concluded, wiping his face with the edge of his sleeve. You regarded him questioningly and he nodded, explaining. "Henrik was my youngest sibling. When he was this young, he was convinced he was a wolf cub. He would bite your legs, he would bite your fingers, and he would bite your face - it stopped being cute rather quickly."

You snickered, relaxing a bit. "Is Henrik much younger than you?" You wondered.

Kol's face fell and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no, actually… Henrik, um… He-he passed away some time ago," He said.

"Oh." You whispered, fixing your eyes on your feet. You were such an idiot! "I-I'm really sorry, Kol. That was a stupid thing to ask."

He shook his head. "No, it wasn't. I wouldn't have raised the topic if I couldn't handle the questions it was bound to insight."

Wow... He was really well spoken… His voice sounded like a snowfall: gentle, playful, and pure.

You blinked. "O-oh, okay. Um, well I'm sorry I asked you over here then."

The boy sent you a quizzical look. "Why?"

"I mean, it's not for fun," You pointed out, scuffing your toe against the floor. "My parents left me in charge but this time I just need a little bit of help entertaining and wrangling them…"

Kol tilted his head as Nora cuddled up against his shoulder. "Them?" He asked. Your sheepish smile doubled in intensity and you let go of a nervous chuckle. 

"Y/N! WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THE PIZZA GUY?!" A shrill voice pierced the air from one of the upstairs rooms. You flinched and Kol's face filled with understanding.

"Ah…" He nodded. "So, there's two of them…"

"Unfortunately…" You sighed, then took a deep breath. "I'M NOT FLIRTING AND HE'S NOT THE PIZZA GUY! NOW, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" The boy in front of you flinched and you sent him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Kol. She's eleven and I swear this is the only way to communicate with her."

"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, Y/N!" Your sister screamed down.

Kol glanced up there and huffed a laugh.

You sighed again. "I am so, so sorry."

"No, no, darling, it's fine. Seriously, stop apologizing!" He said. "You just shocked me is all. I guess I figured that screaming at one another was only the default language in dysfunctional families like mine."

The relief that flooded your body was palpable. "Really?"

"Of course," He assured you. "In fact, watch this." He shifted a hand to cover Nora's ear - the one that wasn't tucked into his shoulder - and looked up. "ACTUALLY, SHE IS THE BOSS OF YOU, UNTIL YOUR PARENTS GET HOME! SUCKS TO BE YOU, LOVE!  SO WHY DON'T YOU QUIT WAILING LIKE A BANSHEE AND COME SAY HI!" He finished shouting and shot you a wink.

You smirked, crossing your arms. "That was impressive." 

"Thank you."

A moment later a petite H/C girl came bounding down the stairs. She swung her weight around the banister and stopped right in front of Kol, staring up at him with scrutiny. She put her hands on her hips and spun to face you.

"Is this the boyfriend you wish you had?" She demanded.

You slid your tongue over your teeth, reminding yourself of all the reasons you shouldn't deck a child. "Ainsley," You addressed with a razor-sharp smile. "This is my friend Kol. He's gonna help me take care of you and Nora tonight."

Ainsley shot him a dirty look and turned to you. "I don't need another babysitter, I've already got you."

"Well that's a shame, because I'm not leaving for the whole night," Kol said, smirking. "And I'm afraid you got it wrong, sweetheart." He gestured to you. "See, she's the girlfriend I wish I had."

You flushed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear - it was a nervous tick. Ainsley spun back to face him.

"You talk funny," She declared. 

"Ég get talað fyndnara," He told her with a smug smile. The foreign syllables rolled off his tongue effortlessly - almost like he'd been born speaking them. What language was that? The rough sound of it made your stomach attempt gymnastics.

Whatever it was, it made Ainsley giggle. "You're weird!" She said.

"Why thank you, love." He held onto Nora and dipped into a flourishing bow for her and she laughed again, clapping.

"Wanna come see my dinosaurs?" She asked him, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "They're in my room!"

The enthusiastic gasp he made for her was very convincing as he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh, wow. I would love to come see your dinosaurs, Ainsley. But is it okay if I talk to your sister for just a second first?"

"Okay." She shrugged. "I'll go get 'em ready!" 

"Alright! You go do that and I'll be right up," He said. Ainsley squealed with glee and rushed back upstairs again. You watched her go for a moment before turning back to Kol.

"That was actually amazing," You marveled, staring at him with wide eyes.

He shrugged. "That was nothing, I-"

"No, no. You don't understand," You cut him off. "Ainsley hates everyone."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone!" You stressed. "She's at that stage where she knows everything about everything all the time so when she doesn't know someone she hates them and if they're in on her act, she hates them. In other words-"

"She hates everyone," He finished, nodding. "Bekah did the same thing, except she never grew out of it."

"I pity you."

"You should." Kol flashed you a grin and adjusted Nora in his arms. She made that little purr noise of hers and nuzzled him. He shrugged. "What can I say? The ladies love me."

You huffed a laugh and shook your head, focusing on the floor. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to," You said quietly.

The boy frowned. "What are you talking about, darling?"

"Well, I just-" You'd definitely made this seem like something it wasn't. Would he be mad? "I-I mean, you're not like… disappointed, are you?"

"Disappointed?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Darling, I get to avoid my family and spend time with a beautiful girl. Why on earth would I be disappointed?"

Because for a second there you acted like you wanted me…

You pushed that thought away and shrugged, rubbing your arm. "I don't know… I-I thought-

"Woah, woah, sorry to cut you off, love. But what happened to your hand?" He demanded. You hardly blinked and Kol had somehow crossed the room. He was standing right in front of you, only inches away. You jumped as he reached to take your hand. "Easy! Easy now! I just want to look at it," He said. You bit your lip as Kol gently took your hand.

He trailed his fingertips over the reddened, burned skin, just barely skimming over the marks. Pain flared up in each one despite his best efforts and you hissed, snatching your hand away. 

"Darling, what happened?" He pressed, a little more urgently. "Did someone do this to you?" Something flashed in his eyes, something more than the usual mirth or amusement he offered you. It was intense yet soft.

"No, I, uh… I burned myself making muffins," You admitted. "It's fine. I'll be fine."

"This is why you wanted my help, isn't it?" He asked, the way he regarded you made you pretty sure he doubted your tough facade. "Because it hurts more than you let on?"

You sighed. "I didn't treat it right originally and now it's coming back to haunt me," You confirmed.

"I see." Kol raised your injured hand to his lips and pressed a feather-light kiss to one of the few unburned areas. "Tell you what, I'll help you with your sisters - entertain them, and get them to bed - then I'll help you dress and wrap that properly, alright?" He offered.

You shook your head, trying to laugh his kindness off. "You don't have to do that."

"I know," He responded. "But I'm going to anyway." Then he leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead, shooting you a smug and very knowing smirk before turning and climbing the stairs after Ainsley. "Alright! Let's see those dinosaurs!"

You followed him up and pointed the way to Ainsley's room. She sat there on the floor surrounded by dozens of tiny dinosaur figurines no bigger than an inch. Kol knelt next to her, carefully avoiding crushing any of them. 

"Wow, these are exquisite, darling," He said, picking one up to examine it. "The details are stunning. Where did you get them?"

Ainsley beamed. "I made them!"

Kol shook his head. "Nah."

The girl frowned. "I made them out of clay," She insisted. 

"No, you didn't."

"I did so!"

"You did not! There's no way you made these, they're just too fantastic," He teased, shooting you a wink while your sister wasn't looking. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at his antics. 

"I'm not lying!" Your sister rounded on you. "Y/N, tell Kol I'm not lying!" She demanded.

He turned to you expectantly and you shrugged. "She's not lying."

Kol's surprise was extremely convincing, even to you. "I can't believe this! Ainsley, darling, your work is fantastic!"

The little girl smirked and glanced back at you, waggling her brows as if she'd won some sort of competition. You took a deep breath, running your tongue over your teeth.

"Ainsley, are you gonna tell him all their names?" You prompted. You didn't miss the grimace that flashed across Kol's face at your words. There were so many little dinosaurs, that naming all of them would take a while. 

"Not all of 'em." Ainsley shook her head. "Just my faves."

"You do that," You encouraged with mock enthusiasm. Kol shot you a look that reminded you a bit of a captive being made to walk the plank and you just smirked.

The girl picked up each one to introduce them individually. "This one's Diplodocus, this one's Deinonychus, this one's Ankylosaurus, this one's Baryonyx, this one's Compsognathus, this one's Archaeopteryx, this one's Dilophosaurus, this one's Coelophysis, and this one's a T-Rex!" She announced with pride.

"Ah, I see." Kol took that last figurine from her, inspecting it. "Now, I can't say that I'm familiar with most of those names you listed, but I do know this one. In fact, I went to go see the first skeleton of one ever found in a museum a while back!"

"Wow!" Ainsley gasped. "How big was it?"

"Colossal!" He exclaimed. "I think one could eat you in one bite. Om nom nom!" He reached up and chased Ainsley with the figurine she'd given him.

"Ah no! I don't wanna be eaten!"

"Too bad, love. The T-Rex has other plans."

"Oh." She dropped to the ground and started twitching. "Bleh! I'm dead."

Kol laughed and glanced back at you, grinning wide. "So, now that this one's dead, Y/N, when do I get to see your bedroom?" His tone was perfectly innocent but the expression he wore was anything but. His eyes skimmed over your figure and you realized you were wearing your slightly revealing pajama shorts. You knew you were blushing and he seemed excessively pleased with himself as you struggled to find something to say.

"Hey! I'm not really dead," Ainsley complained. "I was just pretending!"

Kol winked at you and turned back with an incredulous expression. "Really? Oh wow, that was extremely convincing. You should become an actor."

"Maybe I will!" Ainsley grinned, picking herself up off the floor. "Oh, and you can keep that by the way."

"I can keep this?" He affirmed, holding the T-Rex figure. Ainsley nodded. "Thank you! What an honor, lovely. I will cherish this gift for all my days." He stood and ruffled the little girl's hair in a casual gesture, but Ainsley didn't seem to like it very much. She recoiled from his touch like she'd been burned, jumping back and slapping his hand away with a yelp. She drew away from him, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Y-you're cold," She hissed, regarding him with a suddenly distrustful glare. 

Kol was quick to back off. His brows drew together and he raised his hands non-threateningly. Confusion swam in his deep brown eyes. "Am I?" He wondered. He held his hand out to you.

You didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. His hands were soft and you supposed they were a little cool, but not cold. Not odd. A thin scar bisected his palm diagonally and you wondered where he'd gotten it. You shook your head. "Ainsley, what's wrong?"

"He's cold!" She insisted. "Don't you feel it?"

You shrugged. "He feels fine to me and Nora seems pretty chill." The toddler was still sitting cozy in Kol's arms, meowing happily. "Maybe you're coming down with something?" You suggested. 

She just crossed her arms and huffed, glaring at Kol. You glanced at him and he shrugged, scratching his neck. The atmosphere in that room was incredibly awkward for a solid minute before you cleared your throat. 

"Who wants to play a game?" You asked, desperate to clear the tension. One could have cut it with a knife. 

Kol raised his hand. "I'm up for it! Ainsley?"

She scowled. "Do I have to?"

You sent her another sharp, forceful smile. "Heck yeah, you do, sunshine."

The little girl lifted a brow in challenge, putting her hands on her hips. "What's in it for me?" She demanded.

"Ah yes, the negotiator," Kol snickered. You sent him a scathing look and he quickly tried to cover his laughter with a cough.

"We can watch a movie after," You decided, turning your attention back to your sister. She hummed and pretended to inspect her fingernails - you were pretty sure she'd seen that on TV somewhere. Annoying as she was, that little brat was going places. "I'll let you pick?" You offered.

She flicked her eyes up to yours. "Emperor's New Groove?"

"Whatever you want," You sighed, rubbing your temple with your good hand. Kol was still trying ridiculously hard not to laugh.

"What about your hand, Y/N?" Ainsley asked, grinning like a satisfied Cheshire cat. "How will you play with us?"

You glanced down at the flaming red and pink marks that crisscrossed your fingers and palm, stretching up to your wrist. They stung and burned on their own, moving just made them worse. You frowned. "I guess I'll just have to watch you guys play."

"Oh, that's too bad." She didn't mean that one bit and you had to lean back against the door frame to keep yourself from throttling her. Ainsley shot you one last devilish smirk before rounding on Kol. "Do you know how to play Gin?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," He said, smiling amusedly. "Is that what you'd like to play?"

She nodded vigorously and swiped a deck of cards off her bedside table. "I'm gonna kick your butt!" She giggled.

"Is that so?" He hummed, shooting you a grin. You sent him a thankful one in return.

Nora sat up against his shoulder. "What about me? I wanna play!" She whined.

"But if course!" Kol exclaimed. "You're going to be on my team and help me beat your sister." 

Nora gasped and nodded. "Meow! Meow!" She chirped. Kol chuckled and kissed her forehead lightly. 

"There's a sweet little kitten."

"Why don't we go downstairs so you guys can play at the table?" You offered before they got anything started.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," He agreed. You shoved off the door frame and started for the stairs, glancing back to see Kol reach for your sister's hand. "Come on, Ainsley. I won't bite." She hesitantly took it and you turned back before he could see the smile that spread across your face.

Thirty minutes and eight rounds of Gin later and Kol seemed to be regretting his decision to play with your little sister.

"How?!" He demanded after her eighth consecutive win. "How is this possible? How are you rigging the deck when I'm the one shuffling?"

"Told you I was gonna kick your butt," Ainsley said smugly, leaning back in her chair.

"This shouldn't be statistically possible," He muttered. In his lap, Nora stood up and "pawed" at his chest, meowing in pity.

"Statistic probability does not apply when Ainsley desires to win a card game," You supplied, ruffling your sister's hair as you stood.

"It's uncanny," He agreed, nodding. You weren't aware of Kol's eyes lingering on you as you stretched, reaching your arms over your head. Wandering over to the pantry, you opted to search for a snack the four of you could enjoy during the movie.

"Say, Ainsley darling, have you ever played Poker?" Kol asked as soon as your back was turned.

"Kol!" You warned.

"Sorry, darling!" He called back. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Wanna learn?"

You snorted and spun around on your heel. "Kol Mikaelson, you are not going to teach my little sister to play Poker!" You lectured, trying your best to contain your laughter.

"She'd be a bloody prodigy, love!" He defended. He too was struggling to keep a straight face.

"Uh, huh. A prodigy with a gambling addiction."

"A gambling addiction? With me as her mentor? Inconceivable."

"The image of you mentoring anyone terrifies me to my very core," You deadpanned. "Ainsley, go put something on and if Kol ever tries to teach you anything, run for the hills."

"Got it," She replied, hopping out of her seat and running off towards the living room.

Kol leaned against the counter, folding his arms as he watched you search for some junk food. You selected ice cream - holding the frozen tub felt glorious on your burns. His eyes never left you for a second and the faint smile he wore never faltered. You stood on your toes to reach for some bowls off the top shelf and felt your cheeks burn under his undivided attention. Setting the bowls on the counter, you took a breath in an attempt to settle the butterflies that were using your stomach as a bloody airport. If you turned to face him, you knew you'd lose your ability to speak, so you feigned nonchalance.

"You're staring," You pointed out in hardly more than a whisper. 

Kol hummed. "Am I?" 

"You are." You nodded, trying to keep your pitch from rising. "What is it back there that's got you so interested?"

You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Definitely not your legs."

His comment lit your cheeks on fire and you buried your face in your hands. Why did he have to be such a cheeky bastard?! 

You turned back to face him, biting your lip and crossing your arms over your chest. "You just can't stop yourself from making those sorts of comments, can you?" 

Kol grinned. "I don't exactly try," He said.

"Of course, you don't." You sighed, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "And I assume you just shamelessly flirt with all your friends."

He shrugged. "Pretty much."

"Good policy." 

Especially if your intention is to keep this socially awkward bundle of anxiety guessing every second of the day…

You smiled thinly and turned back to start scooping ice cream into the bowls. You gripped the ice cream scoop in your good hand and tried to transfer some of the surgery goodness but only succeeded in pushing the tub around on the counter. The burns on your left hand flared with pain as you absentmindedly attempted to use it and you whimpered, biting your lip to keep from crying. A frustrated growl escaped you as you glared at the frozen treat. 

Kol's hand wrapped around yours, gently lifting the scoop from your grasp. "Let me help you out, love," He coaxed. His voice was as soft as snow - the kind you make angels in. 

You sighed. "I can scoop ice cream, Kol. I'm not a complete invalid," You insisted.

"I know," Kol hummed. He swept your hair over your shoulder and ran a hand down your arm. His touch felt like lightning across your skin. "But you are in a lot of pain."

You glanced at the burns covering your hand. They stung and seared constantly. "Yeah…"

"Then move over and let me help you," He pressed, leaning on the counter next to you. He stared you down and you tried your best to stay strong but those soft amber eyes drilled into yours and you lost.

"Fine!" You relented, backing off. He smirked and took over. 

"So how's the hand holding up?" Kol asked. He paused and cleared his throat. "Still the same or getting-" He cut himself off with another cough. "- getting worse?"

Your brows pulled together and you frowned. "Pretty much the same," You answered. He nodded, coughing into his sleeve a few more times. You blinked, starting to worry. "You good?" Kol sent you a thumbs up but kept on coughing. You reached up to touch his shoulder and he flinched away from you. "Kol?" You moved around to face him but he doubled over, coughing more frantically. You couldn't see his face. Was he in pain? What were you supposed to do? 

"I-I'm fine." He waved you off, straightening back up after a moment. His voice was strained and he looked extremely uncomfortable. "I'm alright."

"You don't look fine," You said.

"I-I just…" He trailed off.

"Kol?" He didn't respond.

For a moment, he just stood there, watching you. Kol tilted his head to the side slowly. His brows were furrowed but his eyes were far away and there was something in them. You didn't know exactly what it was, but it made your skin crawl. You didn't like it. He swallowed thickly, wetting his lips. His hands were wrapped around the counter's edge and his knuckles were white. Was he having a seizure or something? What was his problem? He took a shuffling step backward, blinking rapidly. 

"KOL!" You snapped your fingers in front of his face and he jumped.

"Yeah? What-what is it?" He shook his head as if trying to clear something away.

You stared at him with wide eyes. "Do I need to call 911?" You demanded, voice rising. 

"No." He shook his head. "No, it's just a-a dry throat… I'm fine. I-I can handle it."

Why did he sound like he was trying to convince himself?

You raised a brow. "You sure? 'Cuz I did not pass my CPR class…"

Kol huffed a laugh, smiling wryly though you didn't get the joke. "Yeah, I'm fine. Can we just… Can we open a window or something?"

"Uh, huh… sure." You nodded slowly, giving him a last once over to be safe. You edged over to the window above the kitchen sink and shoved it open. The air outside was freezing from the snowstorm but you could hear Kol's sigh of relief. He muttered something under his breath.

"Heilagt helvíti, ég er of svangur í þetta…"

It was that language again, the same one he'd spoken earlier. You weren't sure how you knew but you were positive of it. The way it rolled off his tongue was too natural to be something learned. It had to be a native language… But wasn't he from England?

You wandered back over to him again, more than a little worried. "You're absolutely positive you're okay?" You asked, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

He nodded and maybe you were reading too much into it but his smile seemed oddly tight, almost forced. "Of course, I am."

You bit your lip, rocking back and forth on your heels for a moment. "Do you want something to drink?" You offered.

His eyes flicked towards you for a split second. He clenched his jaw, nodding. "That would be nice. Thank you." He cleared his throat again, rubbing at his eyes.

You drummed your fingers on the countertop before grabbing a cup from the cabinet and moving to the fridge. You opened it up and glanced over the contents. "So, we got milk, orange juice, grape juice that tastes like wine, grape juice that tastes like grape juice, apple juice that Nora may or may not have attempted to chug out out the bottle, or - the good ole' family favorite - water," You listed. "What do you wanna have?"

You weren't prepared for his response. It was so quiet - hardly a whisper - and you were certain you weren't meant to hear it.

"You."

Your whole body tensed and you blushed like mad. 

"W-what was that?" You called over your shoulder. Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

"I said milk is fine," He spoke up a little louder.

He lies…

Or maybe you were just going insane.

You ran your tongue over your teeth, trying in vain to calm your rapid heart rate. "Okay." You pulled the gallon of milk out of the fridge and kicked the door shut with your foot. 

"I'll put this away," Kol said once he was done with the ice cream. 

"Thanks." Yeah, your heart rate wasn't slowing down any time soon.

"Not a problem, darling." He brushed past you to tuck the ice cream away.

Once you finished pouring the milk, you turned to pass it to him. "Here's some-" The words got caught in your throat. He was standing a lot closer than you'd expected, watching you with a smirk that set your cheeks on fire. You snapped your mouth shut and just shoved the glass towards him.

"Thank you, darling." Kol took it from you, which was a relief because your hands were trembling so viciously you might have dropped it at any second. He leaned back against the counter, looking as perfect as ever and you dropped your eyes to your feet. "Are you alright, love?"

You shrugged. "Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"You seem rather agitated tonight - stressed," He observed.

"Well, I did burn my hand."

Kol frowned. "No, I don't think that's it."

You swallowed, your throat was suddenly as dry as a desert. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the hottest boy in a one-hundred-mile radius is standing in my kitchen drinking milk. You thought. Perhaps it would be best to tell the truth, he always seemed to know when you were lying.

"I mean, it's just that you're the best friend I've had since kindergarten," You blurted out. 

Kol raised a brow. "I am?"

You nodded. "You are. A-and I'm kinda freaking out, because we don't even know each other crazy super well and yet, here you are, at my house, helping me take care of my borderline insane sisters." You let go of a breathy laugh, though it sounded rather forced. "I know you'd probably rather be, like, anyplace else but I didn't have anybody else to call and I just want you to know how grateful I am that you came."

You hadn't realized before that exact moment that you'd never really seen Kol smile. You'd thought you'd seen it, but those glimpses had never been the real thing. When Kol smiled - really smiled - it took your breath away. It was bright and warm, the kind of smile that makes everyone else smile too.

"You don't have to thank me," He claimed with a slight shake of his head. "But I do think I know how you can repay me…"

You crossed your arms over your chest. "And how is that?"

He shrugged. "Say it again."

"Say what again?"

"That I'm your best friend."

"Really?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "I've never been anybody's best friend before."

You rolled your eyes. "I don't believe that for a second. You must have had loads of friends before you moved here."

"Not really, actually. I annoy people."

"Well, you don't annoy me. Most times."

"So that makes me your best friend?" He pressed.

You opened your mouth to say the words he so desperately wanted to hear but someone cut you off.

"WHAT'S TAKING YOU GUYS SO LONG?" Ainsley shouted from the living room.

Kol's response was immediate - premeditated even - as if he'd been waiting for her to say those words. "LEAVE US ALONE! WE'RE MAKING OUT!" He yelled back, grinning like a maniac when Ainsley started gagging obnoxiously.

You smacked your forehead and sighed. "You're gonna get me in so much trouble… and we didn't even do anything!"

"What are friends for?" He shrugged. 

"Best friends," You corrected.

"Right." He smirked. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he guided you towards the living room. You stiffened at his touch. Oy vey, you were so obvious, but you couldn't help it! Kol leaned down to your ear as you reached the living room. "Relax, darling. It's just me."

That was the problem.

"Ooh! Ice cream!" Ainsley cheered. Nora, who had been sitting on the floor, looked up from pretending to lick her arm… at least you hoped she was pretending. Both girls hopped up to take the treat.

Kol held the bowls out of their reach. "Ah! What do we say?" He asked.

"Please?" Ainsley begged with her best doe-eyes.

"Very good, darling." He passed her the ice cream. "Nora?"

The little girl reached up. "Gimmie!" She demanded.

Kol glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and you just shrugged. "I don't know where she learned that, but it wasn't me!"

He looked back down at the toddler. "I'm sort of tempted to give it to her, because that's a very assertive attitude."

"And that's bad parenting."

"He's not my dad!" Nora said. "Now gimmie!"

"You have to say please, kitten," Kol insisted.

"Gimmie it please!"

"There it is," He said.

"Now!" She commanded.

"Alright, alright!" He lowered the bowl into her greedy little hands and she squealed in delight. His gaze shifted from the toddler to you and back again. "That one's going places," He announced.

You rolled your eyes. "Tell me about it." You sat down on the couch as Ainsley started the movie and Kol moved to sit beside you. Stretching his arms and legs as he settled in, his arm just so happened to wrap around your shoulders. You smirked.

"Smooth."

"I know." He winked.

About halfway through the movie, the doorbell rang. You had no clue who it could have been as your parents weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow. Both you and Kol got up to answer it and you waved a hand.

"It's okay, I've got it," You said.

"Well I'm coming with you." You shot him a questioning look. He shrugged easily. "There are some serious creeps out there, darling. I just want you to be safe."

“Takes one to know one,” You teased, walking backward towards the door.

“Exactly,” He replied. Then his expression sobered just a little bit under the dim light of your foyer. Kol’s humor was usually arrogant or self-deprecating in one way or another but that expression told you that there was something underneath that. That boy was by no means insecure, but ego and pride aren't the same as self-esteem. His honest opinion of himself wasn’t a positive one. You didn’t like seeing that.

“I don’t know how you do it.” You rolled your eyes, chuckling. Your tone was easy because you’d never been too great with people. You always said the wrong thing when you tried to be genuine, so you favored humor instead. "How can you manage to be so egotistical while also being self-loathing, and yet secretly kind all at the same time? You’re like some wacky combination of Emperor Kuzco and Shrek."

“Oh is that what you think?” He said, shoving your shoulder playfully. Kol scrunched up his face. "I was a perfectly nice guy and they ruined my life for no reason!" He quoted in a perfect imitation of Kuzco's American accent from the movie. That sound made you uncomfortable for some odd reason.

You squirmed a little. “Okay, first that was excellent. Second, never do that again please."

“Aww! Thank you, Y/N/N. It’s always good to be appreciated,” He continued in that American accent. 

“Ewww. Staaaahhhp!” You complained with a feigned gag.

“Stop what?” He poked you in the ribs.

You jumped out of his reach, smacking his hand away. "That!"

"I have no clue what you're talking about." He cheekily grinned. Ugh! It was so cute… but the accent was still terrifying.

"That voice!"

"What? Does my impression of a stupid American bother you?" It was even more unsettling when he was insulting Americans while talking like one. He skipped ahead of you, blocking your way to the door and you laughed.

"Yes! It's gross, you're not meant to be American."

"Would you prefer Français?" He asked, switching accents. "May I offer you a baguette? Perhaps a croissant?"

You snorted. "That's worse, and culturally insensitive!" You pointed out.

"Italiano?" He waggled his eyebrows, smirking as he swapped accents again. "Rome is an impressive city."

"Ugh! No!" You cringed. The doorbell rang a second time followed by a few incessant knocks. "I know! I'm coming, keep your pants on!" You called at the door. It was only a few feet away, but Kol was blocking you.

"Wha' 'bout Sco'ish?" The boy swapped again. "Sco'ish is a'plen'y o' fun. When a true bloody Scott gets a'talkin', ya' can't even tell what them's a sayin'. I mean, is moose loose in the hoose or are ya' wantin' to go'in grabb'a bagg'a chips, pal?"

You blinked, completely clueless as to what he'd just said. "What?" You cackled, shaking your head. He spoke so rapidly, and none of his words even sounded like words. "How are you doing that?"

Kol shrugged. "Eh, I've traveled. Picking up accents is a… hobby of sorts,” He said, reverting back to his natural silk-like speech.

You narrowed your eyes, quirking a brow. "Kol?"

He hummed, tilting his head innocently. "Yes?"

"Are you stalling?"

"Nah...'Course not." His smile thinned almost invisibly. 

"Cool. Now, will you let me get to the door please?" You asked, crossing your arms.

Kol swept his tongue over his lower lip, watching you for just a moment. His expression was something soft with a twinge of fear - or at least you thought that’s what you saw, He replaced it with a smirk before you had a chance to remember it. “As you wish,” He muttered, finally moving out of your way.

“Thanks,” You said as you moved past him. You couldn't see why he was trying to stall you. Maybe this was a byproduct of having lived in such big cities as he had. Crime rates were high in places like London, Moscow, Paris, or New Orleans. You'd never had to worry about that, nothing bad ever happened in Mystic Falls. You found it sort of sweet that he was so worried though, standing directly behind you like a bodyguard as you looked through the window at who was outside. You smiled. "You can relax, man. It's just Matt."

Yet, he didn't relax. When you twisted the knob, Kol quickly wound his arm around your waist, swiftly pulling you into his side. You blushed furiously, cracking the door open just slightly to keep the warmth inside. The snowstorm had gotten significantly worse.

Matt Donovan stood on the doorstep, hands shoved in his pockets against the cold as he shivered. He didn't have the money to afford a good coat to keep him warm, but he smiled at you with more warmth than anyone else in town ever had - aside from Kol of course. He was friendly but the two of you just weren't close. The blond had only ever been your friend out of proximity. In a town as small as Mystic Falls, it's a little hard not to get to know your neighbors from across the street.

"Hey, Y/N!" His teeth were chattering violently.

"Hey, Matt! Move it or lose it 'cuz I'm closing this door," You stated dryly. Opening the front door just wide enough for him to slip inside, you slammed it shut again as soon as he was in the clear.  Kol's grip on your waist tightened as Matt stepped over the threshold and you bit your lip, pretending not to notice.

“Oh, hallelujah, it’s warm in here!” The blond-haired quarterback relaxed almost immediately once inside, closing his eyes and sighing. "You're an actual angel, Y/N/N," He said.

"Naturally, but what's the reason this time?" You smirked.

He groaned. "My payment was late by one day and the electric company shut my heat off."

You hissed in genuine sympathy. "Geez, sorry dude. That sucks."

"Tell me about it," He huffed. Matt opened his eyes and smiled at you. Then his gaze shifted to Kol and he startled, taking a step back as his eyes flew wide. "What the- Kol?" He sputtered.

Kol waved. "Hey there, mate."

Matt's face drained of color and you blinked, glancing between them. Weird.

"Y/N, what's he doing here?" Matt questioned. His tone was icier than the storm outside.

"Indentured servitude," Kol replied easily. You huffed a laugh.

"I lured him here under false pretenses and roped into doing my bidding," You explained, smirking. "Why?"

Matt's eyes remained glued to Kol. "No reason." Yeah, there was definitely a reason all right. A tense silence lingered in the air for a moment.

"So… Did you need something, Matty?" You wondered, rocking back and forth on your heels.

He blinked and shifted his attention back to you. "Yeah, no, um… yeah." He shrugged, gesturing vaguely. "I was just wondering if I could borrow your, uh, phone charger. Mine kinda… broke."

"Of course!" You chirped. "I'll go get it while you wait here, yeah?" 

"Yeah." Matt's eyes drifted back to Kol as you were speaking. You glanced back at Kol but his expression was carefully, perfectly, unreadable. What was that about?

"Okay… Right." 

Kol's arm around your waist was rigid but you tapped his hand twice and he let go. His fingers traced along your back as you moved away, pressing firmly into your skin. His hands were still cool.

You tried to shake the odd behavior off but couldn't help listening in on their conversation as you climbed the stairs.

"Speaking of things that break, how's the hand doing?" Kol asked casually. "I heard that was quite the injury you had a while back. Multiple contusions, eh? Nasty business that. Especially for a… quarterback was it?"

"Nah, I'm fine." Matt waved his hand, though his voice was oddly tense. "It wasn't as bad as it looked. Actually, I'm more interested in Y/N's hand. What happened there?"

Kol laughed, but you knew it wasn't genuine. "Ah, yes. That was a little misadventure in the noble profession that is baking, believe it or not."

"Wow, that's crazy," Matt said flatly. 'Yeah, I-I don't believe it."

"Don't you?"

"Nah."

Satisfied that their conversation seemed somewhat normal - aside from the obviously forced civility of it - you ducked into your room and retrieved your extra phone charger. You also grabbed a blanket from your hall closet because you knew Matt didn't have enough. Then you went back down the stairs. 

Your two friends were right where you'd left them. Matt was glaring daggers and Kol's smile looked a bit more like a jaguar bearing its teeth than it did an actual human expression of happiness. The animosity simmering between them was thick enough to warrant a Dr. Suess book.

"Here ya' go, Matty," You said, dropping the items into his arms. "Phone charger and a blanket because Virginia law is stupid!"

There was relief that he didn't want to show when he smiled at you. "No, no. Y/N you don't have to give me this, just the charger is more than enough."

"Well, you might as well save your breath 'cuz I'm not taking it back." You smirked.

"You're a lifesaver." He chuckled.

You winked. "I know."

He sent you a grateful smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Well, uh, thanks. Have a - have a nice night." 

"We will," Kol chimed in.

You almost missed the scowl that flickered across Matt's face, it was there for a second and gone the next. Then he turned and opened the door. You held it open as he stepped out, Kol trailing your steps like a shadow. His arm wound itself securely around your waist again, squeezing lightly for a moment. The gentle pressure made you dizzy, but it was gone just as quickly - you must have imagined it. 

"I guess I'll see you later," Matt said with a small wave. You flashed him a smile.

"See ya." You expected him to just go, and he moved to leave, but he stopped. Just as you were closing the door.

"Y/N!" He called out at the last second. 

You cracked the door open just enough to enable conversation. Kol's fingertips pressed in at your waist just slightly more - almost possessively… but that was just ridiculous. Right? You shook the thought away.

"Yeah?"

The blond's eyes flicked to Kol one last time before landing on yours. There was something in them, it was desperate but reserved. Like there was something he was begging you to understand. But he didn't tell you what it was. He just said:

"Stay safe." 

You nodded. "O'course." 

Then he turned his collar up against the wind and stalked away through the snow. You thought you saw him shake his head as you closed the door. How odd.

You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until the door clicked shut and you released it, leaning your head against the wood. 

"That was so weird," You mused, just trying to make sense of it. "What's his problem, am I right?" You huffed breathily. Kol just shrugged.

"I haven't the faintest," He replied, shaking his head. "Vicious small town paranoia perhaps?"

"Maybe, I guess." You shook your head, baffled. "But Matt's usually just nice to everyone." You stood there, worrying your lip as you tried to puzzle it out to no avail. Your friend pulled you away from the door and your thoughts a moment later.

"Really?" Kol's arm around your waist dropped lower, his hand resting like a ghost's on your hip as he accompanied you back towards the living room. "That's the strangest thing. He's always just seemed to hate me. I don't even know what I did!"

"Huh. Weird." You gave up on trying to figure it out and shrugged. Returning to your place on the couch to continue the movie, Kol once again took up the spot next to you but he didn't let go. He leaned back and took you with him, holding you close as he guided you to lay across his chest. You were hesitant to curl up with him. What if you were misinterpreting this? Your fears were quickly swept away, however, when you felt him tug your body closer.

"What are you, a stiff?" He chuckled, tucking your head under his chin. "I want you to lay down, love. Now, come here." He dragged you closer and this time you went with him, letting yourself get comfortable. Kol pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your hair and you shivered.

Holy crap, this was a cuddle.

Kol was cuddling you. 

Your cheeks flared unreasonably warm and you prayed for him not to notice your heart racing faster than a rabbit's. He probably would, you could certainly feel it. 

"What's this for?" You wondered, trying not to let your voice tremble. You thought you did rather well.

"Mmm. You're warm," Kol mumbled into your hair blissfully, curling himself around you a little. 

"Well I have other blankets, you know," You pointed out, snickering. The boy's hand found your good one and tangled your fingers together.

"True," He acknowledged. "But none of them would be near as effective."

"How do you figure?" 

He shrugged a little, rubbing circles into the back of your hand with his thumb. "Well, the average human's standard body temperature is ninety-eight degrees and there's two of us. Add that together and that makes one hundred and ninety-six degrees. Simple!"

You snorted. "Yeah, well I'm ninety-eight percent sure that's not how that works."

"Of course that's how it works!" He scoffed. 

"You guys are gross," Ainsley muttered, shaking her head.

"Meow, meow!" Nora climbed up onto Kol's lap and curled up into a little ball, clearly not at all bothered.

"Plus a cat," Kol added. "That makes two hundred and ninety-four degrees."

"You're full of it," You sighed.

"Oh absolutely."

By the time the movie was over, Nora was fast asleep and Ainsley was well on her way there. Kol, you were pretty sure, was two and a half sheets to the wind himself and, if you were being completely honest, you too could feel the figurative wall approaching fast. Yet, you didn't want to move. You were beyond comfortable just where you were. Too bad your absolutely platonic cuddle puddle couldn’t last.

You knew this crush on him was stupid. You knew that.

You weren't a fool. Kol was your closest friend and you knew his reputation better than anyone. The boy was a troublemaker and a notorious flirt - a well-warranted reputation. The number of girls you knew he'd slept with was too high to count, not to mention all the others you had no clue about because you weren't exactly what one might call in the loop. Sure, all those other girls were complete sluts anyway, but that wasn't the point.

The point was, that wasn't you.

You may have been a nobody, but at least you had no delusions about becoming something more - someone popular. You didn't want attention and you didn't need it. Especially not from a hundred or so underage wannabes with self-esteem issues. No thanks! 

You weren't going to throw your dignity away just because Kol or any other boy wanted something. You were worth more than that and you knew it. You weren’t going to lower your boundaries for anyone and you knew Kol knew that already.

So why did he put up with you at all?

See, that was the question that had you doubting. You meant nothing to anyone. No one would care if he screwed you over - doing so wouldn't bring him any sort of sick praise or status, though he didn’t seem to crave those things like every other high schooler did. So why make the effort to talk to you? Why would he go out of his way to help you tonight if he didn't care at least a little bit?

This was all so confusing. You didn't want to think about it anymore.

"Look at that, bedtime," You announced quietly. Kol stirred underneath you and you sat up, raising a brow as he rubbed at his eyes.

"I wasn't sleeping," He claimed, jabbing a finger at you. 

You snickered. "Yeah, yeah… just resting your eyes, right?"

"Exactly." He grinned. You rolled your eyes and detangled yourself from the boy's arms, much to his disappointment.

"You know who's not resting her eyes though…" You trailed off, tapping Ainsley on the shoulder. She slapped your hand away drowsily. 

"Iss' not bedtime… I’m-I'm not tired," She protested, slurring.

"Liar." You smirked. "Come on, you gotta get up so you can go to bed."

"I'll sleep here," She argued.

"No, you'll sleep in your bed."

"Too late."

You grimaced and Kol spoke up from behind you, tapping Ainsley's leg.

"Come now, love," He urged. "Don't make me carry you."

She shook her head. "You can't carry me, I'm a big girl."

"I can and I will," He warned.

You sighed. "Kol, don't. You'll hurt yourself."

"Oh, how wrong you are, darling," He whispered into your ear. You blinked, startled by his sudden proximity.

He settled his hand on your back and rubbed a few comforting circles before slowly, experimentally, sliding it lower. His fingertips danced along your spine, down to the base where he stopped.

Kol lifted his hand away and adjusted his grip on Nora who he had already scooped up. Holding her in one arm, he bent down and used his shoulder to hoist Ainsley up too. She naturally wrapped her arms and legs around him like a little Koala so that probably made things easier. Though it made it no less surprising to you as he began climbing the stairs a minute later with little to no effort. Together, Ainsley and Nora must have weighed about a hundred pounds and Kol wasn’t an athlete as far as you knew. So where the hell was he pulling that kind of strength from? You shut your gaping mouth and followed after them.

You arrived on the second floor just in time to watch Kol tuck Ainsley into her bed, covering her with a few extra blankets in light of the winter storm. Nora hadn't woken despite being moved and she was quickly tucked in a well. 

"Meow, meow," She mumbled.

You offered Kol a smile from your position in the hallway and he just rolled his eyes, turning out their lights as he shut their bedroom door.

"That was adorable," You voiced under your breath. 

"I bet," He hummed. "Your turn, darling. Let's go fix that hand."

You groaned. You'd been dreading this the whole night. What if treating your burns made them hurt worse? Wouldn't they just go away on their own after a while?

"What if I changed my mind about that?" You tried, lamely attempting to hide your burned mess of a hand behind your back. 

He shot you a very pointed smile. "Not an option, sweet thing. Now, where do you keep your first aid kit?"

"My bathroom," You sighed, pointing. 

"Thank you." He placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you along though you didn't exactly fight him. You just complained more than anything.

"My body, my choice right?" You huffed, walking through your bedroom doorway and immediately turning to enter the bathroom. 

"In any other scenario, absolutely." The boy smirked, closing the door. "Unfortunately this is not any other scenario and you will take care of your body even if I have to do it for you."  

You huffed and rolled your eyes. Using your good hand, you hoisted yourself up to sit on the counter. "This is gonna hurt, isn't it?" You asked wearily, watching him search for the first aid kit.

"Just a little bit," He assured, pulling the kit out of the towel closet. He opened it up and started rummaging through the thing.

“You lie.” You deadpanned.

“Indeed,” He hissed, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Just trying to ease your nerves, love.”

"I think this is a violation," You grumbled.

“Well, in that case, shame on me," He replied cheerfully. The boy grabbed a spray of some kind out of the kit and held it in one hand, offering the other to you. "Might want to hold onto something for this next bit."

You were in no way prepared for the pain that came next. Kol sprayed the chemical solution on your arm and you bit back a scream. The burns stung. Your eyes welled with tears and you kicked your legs out, nearly crushing the poor guy's hand in your grip. He tried his best to keep you calm, muttering encouragement the whole time while you verged on hysteria.

"Kol? Kol, that hurts! Please don't do that, it hurts!" You hated letting anyone see you cry, but this was the most pain you'd endured in years. "Kol, please? Please, it hurts so bad. Just stop. Kol please stop!" You sobbed quietly. 

From the expression on your friend's face, you would have thought that hearing your pleas hurt him as much as your burns hurt you. He looked guiltier than you'd ever felt.

"Shhhhhh, shhhhhh. Darling, it's alright," He soothed. "I'm almost done. Just a few more seconds, love. You're doing so well." His voice was shaking. You blinked away tears but they seemed incessant on falling. "There, that part's finished," He breathed what felt like an eternity later.

You choked down another sob and focused on your breathing. The scorching sting in your arm began to fade bit by bit as Kol pulled out bottles of aloe and antibiotics. He sighed deeply, unable to meet your eyes.

"I'm just trying to help you," He said quietly. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain."

You nodded, slightly more rational now. "If not you then it would have been someone else later and that probably would have hurt worse," You reasoned. Your smile was tight but genuine. "I'm kinda glad it was you. I probably would have Spartan kicked anyone else."

"I'm honored," He snickered. Kol grew quiet as he shifted his attention to gently applying the aloe and antibiotic onto each of the burn marks. He was very careful and extraordinarily gentle as he wrapped the area in bandages. 

"Where'd you learn how to do this?" You wondered, watching him with fascination.

The boy smirked, shrugging. "I was a dumb kid," He admitted. "Got hurt a lot." He secured the outermost layer with a few hooks and sighed. "There, almost as beautiful as you."

You rolled your eyes. "Kol Mikaelson, are you flirting with me or yourself?" You demanded, feeling uncharacteristically bold.

"Definitely you." The boy's lips twitched up into a crooked smile, as he leaned against the counter next to you. “I have been for quite awhile. Would’ve thought you’d notice.”

You blushed, bowing your head to avoid his amber eyes. "Believe me, I’ve noticed…” You hesitated, forcing a laugh. “I’ve watched you flirt with everyone."

"I know; yet, no matter what I try, I just keep on running back to you. It’s the strangest thing. Anyone else and I’ve never looked back or looked twice. But when it’s you, I can’t seem to stop myself… and I don’t think I want to.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line and you shook your head. “Kol, d-don’t do that. Please? Don’t make me sound like… like…”

He tilted his head. “Like what?”

“Like…I-I don’t know!  Like something I’m not!” You scowled.

“Like special?”

You froze. Suddenly you didn't feel so bold anymore. He was so close to you, hardly an inch away. Your throat felt too dry to talk. 

“Yeah.” You looked up, nodding. “I don’t like liars, I-I can’t stand a liar, Kol. So just-just stop, okay? This here, w-what you’re doing right now, it-it isn’t funny.”

The boy frowned. “No, darling, I’m not-”

“Not what?” You interrupted. “Not trying to chat me up? Make me feel all special just because my parents aren’t home and you think that means I’ll make some sort of exception for you? Well, the answer is no. I guess this is what I get for choosing the wrong friends.” You tried to hop off the counter, but Kol stepped closer to you, positioning himself to stand between your legs.

“That’s not what this is,” He said. Kol leaned closer, resting his hands atop the counter on either side of you. “Darling, I’m not trying to hurt you.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to fight off the blush invading your cheeks. “Right. As if there’s any other reason someone like you would ever acknowlage someone like me. I’ve never qualified as special in my entire life.”

"I don't think that's true," He murmured, sweeping your hair over to one shoulder. "I tend to avoid ordinary people." 

"Then why are you here?" You demanded in a dry, derelict whisper. 

His brows pulled together and he frowned slightly, but it wasn't directed at you. "There's… a lot of reasons, I think," He said. "I-I'm not all that good at telling the truth, especially when that truth envolves… well… me. But-" His voice trailed off and he swallowed thickly, seeming almost pained.

"What?"

His lips twitched up into a nervous smile as he glanced away. “You mean more to me than anyone else becasue when I’m around you I don’t feel alone. I feel at peace. My world has been crashing down around me for as long as I can remember and I’ve always been running, or hiding, or fighting for my life. But when I’m around you and you’re happy, you-you smile at me and I can pretend that-that I’m normal and that everything’s alright.” He bowed his head, smiling thinly. “I’ve always hated depending on anyone for anything, but when I’m holding you, things calm down. Its quiet wherever you are and I can just live in that moment, where the only thing you ask of me is the very thing I want.” Kol looked up at you through his lashes and you could never resist those soft amber eyes. “Why would I seek the company of anyone else when I know you’re the only one who’s ever sought mine? Darling, it’s not your body that I want… well, it is but-” He cut himself off with a sigh and a slight laugh. “What I’m trying to say is, I want you. I want you because you’re my best friend and I want more.”

You blinked. You hadn't been prepared for a full blown confession… and that one didn't sound very platonic. He had you trapped between his arms and you couldn't run even if you wanted to. But why would you? You would never run from him.

You bit your lip, there was no going back to anything if you asked what your heart wanted to know. "So, y-you really like me? As, you know, more than a friend?" Your command of the English language was legendary.

Kol grinned. "What more would you have me do? Propose?" He laughed. "Or would you prefer I just make out with you right this very second?" 

Blushing deeply, you cleared your throat and twisted your fingers together nervously. "It's not my fault… I mean, when you're a senior in highschool who's never been asked on a date, you learn to ignore anything that might be considered a hint," You admitted. "'Cuz it just never is."

"I see…" His voice trailed off. Kol paused for a moment and you felt your cheeks color as his eyes skimmed down your figure. He made a slight movement towards you but stopped and met your eyes. "May I?" He asked in a much softer tone. The playful gleam you usually found in his eyes was replaced by something much softer. It was soft like cotton; yet there was something hungry there too.

"What?" Your voice was hardly more than a whisper. 

"May I touch you?" He clarified. 

Maybe he was lying. Maybe he only wanted you for your body. Maybe he would throw you away once he realized you wouldn't give in to him like any other girl. Maybe he just wanted to use you.

But if any of that were true, he wouldn't have been there for you when you needed him. 

You smiled softly. "Yeah." He smiled.

Keeping his eyes on your face to watch for the first sign of your discomfort, he settled his hands on your waist. When he moved them, he did so slowly - achingly slowly - smoothing them tentatively, hesitantly, over your hips then lower to your bare upper thighs. You should have worn longer shorts, but you didn't object. You didn't do anything. You didn't know what to do. 

Your heart was racing and you couldn't breathe properly. 

"Do you like that?" He hummed. His lips were at your ear and you were hyper-focused on him but your brain refused to believe it.

In one swift movement, he dragged you in close - dizzyingly close - pulling you into his chest. The boy leaned down and rested his head on your shoulder, nudging his nose against your throat lightly, almost teasingly but you got the feeling that there was more to it than that. His touch felt like snow before the cold sinks in. The pressure of his fingers on your skin set your senses on fire as Kol squeezed your thighs in a gentle, precise grip. Your eyes fluttered closed. He traced his hands over your sides - up and then back down - and then Kol squeezed again. The boy's fingertips dug into the flesh of your thighs and you couldn't help the soft moan that escaped your lips. His touch felt… good. Like aloe on a burn. Yet, addicting like the rush of adrenaline. 

You nodded. "Is this real?"

His grip on your thighs tightened and he leaned in closer, skimming his lips over your throat. "Exactly how obvious do I have to make my intentions before you believe them to be genuine?" He whispered, almost pained.

"Pretty freaking obvious, apparently," You laughed. 

Then you felt it - a tiny feather-like pressure, soft and sweet against your pulse. Your breath hitched and Kol pressed his lips against your throat again - his kiss was sweeter than candy and you wanted more. You shivered and felt his lips twist into a smirk at your reaction. His nose nudged at your throat he took a deep breath, humming contentedly as he pushed a stray lock of hair out of your face.

He pulled back and captured your lips in a soft, adoring kiss. His hand slipped beneath your shirt, setting fire to your skin though his hands seemed colder than they had been a few hours ago - almost unnaturally cold. Kol broke away from your lips, smiling blissfully for a moment. When he came back again, he slid his tongue along your lower lip, asking sweetly. You granted him his request and holy criminy that boy was an insanely good kisser. Every time you flinched at something he did, he would squeeze your waist tenderly, reassuring you that he would never hurt you.

He didn't stop. With each kiss, the boy's lips lingered on your neck, savoring the sensation. "You, darling, smell divine," Kol whispered the words between kisses as though they were something he wasn't meant to tell you. After a few more sweet pecks, Kol opened his mouth and kissed you a little harder. The boy moaned a little and his mouth moved against your neck, harsher, needier. He tugged on your waist, drawing you deliciously against him and you couldn't help but gasp when you felt the tentative sweep of that boy's tongue glide along your skin. Kol shuddered and clinched your thighs; you took it he liked what he tasted.

Never.

"How's that for a hint?" He asked smugly. 

"Pretty good," You laughed, taking a moment to catch your breath. Kol pressed a kiss to your temple and pulled away. "Wait-"

"Nora's crying," He informed you.

Your face fell.

"Of course she is."

Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln @r13mar @rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99 @railingsofsorrow @apolloroid @thatweirdoleigh @misswe03 @eat-cake @felinegrate Hey, if your name isn't on here and you requested to be tagged, send me a DM to let me know! Tumblr wouldn't let me tag some people and I'm really sorry about that...

#my name is cas and i write stuff #fanfic #fluff #kol mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #the originals #elijah mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #kol mikaelson x reader #the vampire diaries #kol mikaelson fanfiction #kol x reader #the originals fan fiction #tvdu #tvd fanfic #so fluffy #kol being soft #friends to lovers #chaotic friends #henrik mikaelson #smidge of angst if you squint #angst and fluff #fluffy fluff #kol mikaelson fan fiction #kol mikaelson headcannon #matt donovan #fan fic #fan fiction #klaus mikaelson x reader #elijah mikaelson x reader

[doberbutts]

I have to tell you I adore you and all your fabulous fur babies!

I would like to ask if you can talk about your experience being on t, specifically the mental and emotional aspects of the hrt process. I have read a lot about the physical changes that happen, but I don't see anyone talking about how your personality, mood, energy, etc. change.

Thanks!

Hey thanks!

Honestly while there is a lot of misinformation regarding what testosterone does to your emotions, I feel lucky that my endocrinologist never really said anything except that I may feel wild mood swings or have trouble controlling my anger in the first few months as my body and mind adjusted to the new swing in hormones.

This is pretty normal for any hormone you take- when you first start, you may find yourself experiencing mood swings and feeling emotions more intensely. That's why kids deep into puberty tend to be, um, a bit out of control with their emotions. It's also why this happens again as you age into your twilight years, when your body once again changes its hormone output and can set things a bit out of whack. Or if you get pregnant. Or if you start hormonal birth control. Or if you take a steroid for something not even sex hormone related. Messing with your hormones can seriously throw off your grasp on your feelings and moods.

But the good news is, it's not permenant. By the time you're 5 months in, you should start feeling more like "you" again, unless your dose changes for whatever reason. And, even better, the "you" you feel like? Usually is a much more mentally happy person.

On a personal level, I didn't have random fits of anger. Which is interesting, because I have a documented anger problem that I have taken anger management for because I have had black-out rages [usually inspired by one of my sisters deliberately hurting one of my pets] [for instance she swung one of my pet rats at the wall by the tail like she was going to kill him and the next thing I know our mother is pulling me off of her as I'm pummelling her face with my fists on the ground and I do not remember the in-between] [I'm not sorry, fuck around and find out, don't hurt my animals and I won't hurt you] [also this sister sent me to the ER in a previous fight where she'd bodily picked me up and thrown me through a window so like. Don't feel too bad for her that I finally snapped and gave her a taste of what she constantly did to me]

In fact, I've had *multiple* people who know the "before" and "after" tell me that I'm much calmer and more emotionally steady than I've ever been. And that I'm happier too. I also used to anger-cry a *lot*, pretty much any time I got angry I'd also cry, but that also stopped happening so now I don't really get angry and when I do I don't cry about it.

I would say anxiety's probably about the same but depression is much better. Compared to who I was before leaving my hometown vs now, I can confidently say that I no longer consider the odds of whether my shower curtain rod can hold me for long enough. I'm much better at recognizing when my mental health is getting bad and when I need to take a step back. I get stressed and I can go "okay, I need to break away from this before I completely lose it" well in advance. Which is great! Mental stability and joy and security for the win!

I will say I don't really cry anymore. It does occasionally feel like I'm not really able to. One of Creed's songs came on and I teared up and my throat got all fuzzy but I think only one of two tears actually came out, vs losing him pre-T we're talking ugly cry scream-sobbing in my [now-ex]'s arms. Which, yes, some of it is just distance from the grief since it was two years ago. But also I've never been so in control that I only cried a literal couple tears' worth. Usually the waterworks start and then take a long time to end.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Have some more LU Boys in Healthcare snippets that I didn't know what to do with

"Did you not hear me? I said I can't breath!" the patient yelled, leaning forward in her bed.

Legend's eyes scanned over her once more before looking up at the monitor, which clearly showed her oxygen saturation within normal parameters. Sure, she probably felt short of breath, he wasn't going to deny what she was feeling, but there was nothing he could do at the moment because her body was physiologically stable.

"Ma'am," Legend tried again, feeling his ire rise as she gulped in breaths as if she were drowning. "I understand what you said, and I understand you feel like you can't breathe. I'm not denying that. But your color is perfect, your oxygen saturation implies that your blood is getting all the oxygen it needs, and--"

"I need some oxygen!"

Legend cleared his throat, scowling behind his mask. "Oxygen is not going to help you in this situation. There are a lot of reasons you could be feeling like this. I need you to focus on your breathing--"

"Get me a damn doctor if you're not going to do anything!"

"Sure thing," Legend deadpanned, exiting the room and closing the door behind him. He saw Sky, who was hovering outside the room as if he were ready to hop in and rescue him.

"I freaking hate people," Legend grumbled.

Sky smiled weakly. "Well, some can be difficult, yes."

"No. No. I hate people."

"Excuse me?"

Sky and Legend turned and saw a person in street clothes with a visitor wristband. She looked anxious and very lost. "I'm--I'm sorry, but I'm trying to find my husband, he was just brought in by ambulance and they let me back but I can't find the room they said he was in."

Legend's face immediately softened. "Of course, ma'am, I'll show you. What room are you trying to reach?"

Letting a guiding hand hover behind the visitor's back, Legend talked gently to her as they made their way to the room. When he got back to the nurse's station he saw Warriors and Sky smirking at him.

"Shut up," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, right of course, Mr. I Hate People," Warriors laughed. "By the way, your difficulty breathing patient is hitting her call bell."

Legend groaned.

XXX

Twilight hummed as he scrubbed a bladder scanner clean with some bleach wipes. "You know, I was debating becoming a nurse. I just don't know if I want to deal with all that schooling."

Ilia leaned against the counter, watching the monitor on the wall since one of her patient had been de-saturating a good amount throughout the shift. "You're our best tech, Twi, so I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't hurt the unit. But I think you'd make a great pediatric nurse."

"But the schooling, Ilia. It sounds horrible."

"Oh, it absolutely is. But it's worth it."

Ilia gave him a reassuring smile before hopping off her little post as she saw the monitor beep in yellow, indicating her patient probably needed suctioning again. Twilight stared at the wipes thoughtfully. Maybe... but then he remembered his EMT and CNA classes and all the hours of sitting around and lectures and reading and exams. Ugh.

"Twilight!"

Turning, Twilight saw his favorite five-year-old transplant patient walking towards him with open arms. He gave the child a huge smile and reached out. "Hey, buddy! Back from your scans already?"

"You said we'd do story time," the child said with a giggle as they hugged.

"I did, didn't I? Tell you what, you head back to your room with your nurse and I'll be there in a minute, okay? I've got to finish cleaning first."

The child nodded excitedly and followed his nurse as everyone in the unit waved at him. Twilight beamed, sighing happily.

Well, he supposed he could keep deliberating about nursing school, but he knew he was doing plenty of good where he was in the meantime.

XXX

Hyrule stared curiously at the pickup truck haphazardly parked halfway into a driveway and halfway on someone's yard. There was no damage to the vehicle from what he could see, so at least that was something. He looked over at the police officer who approached.

"So what's going on?" he asked the officer.

"I was trying to pull him over for driving erratically. Apparently he's been drinking so he tried to outrun me and parked his car beautifully in that driveway as you can see," the officer explained, giving a wave to the truck like she was on a game show. "After he got out he tried to run and jump the fence over there and instead he fell onto the ground. I just want him checked out to make sure he's okay before he goes to jail."

Hyrule nodded. "Got it."

"Just be mindful, he hasn't been cooperative for us at all," the officer advised.

Hyrule hummed in acknowledgement, already going through different questions and issues that could be wrong with the patient. Strolling to the police vehicle, he opened the door. The patient was a young man, and the smell of alcohol slammed into Hyrule's nostrils, making him clear his throat a bit in an attempt to cover a cough. The man's skin wasn't torn up at all, and Hyrule saw no immediate sign of injury, so at least that was something.

"Hey, buddy," Hyrule greeted. "What happened?"

"I fell," the patient muttered.

"Did you hit your head?"

"No."

"You take blood thinners?"

"No."

"Anything hurting?"

"My ankle and my knee."

After figuring out which ankle and knee, Hyrule looked them over. The man's knee was a little red, almost resembling rug burn. His ankle looked perfectly fine and there was no difference between the one that was bothering him and the one that wasn't. Hyrule indicated as such out loud to keep the patient informed and then assessed his vital signs.

As he got the man's blood pressure and reported his findings, the patient said, "Okay. Thank you, sorry to bother you."

Hyrule pat him on the shoulder. "That's what we're here for."

As soon as the paramedic dipped back and the officer appeared, the patient's demeanor completely changed.

"To hell with you, I didn't do anything wrong! I'm not telling you jack shit!" the man practically spat in the officer's direction as she closed the door.

Hyrule stared at the patient through the door, feeling annoyance fill him at his rude behavior, and then he sighed, looking at the officer. "I don't see any reason for him to go to the hospital."

The officer smiled and gave a thumb's up. "Perfect."

Just as Hyrule turned to head back to the ambulance, his radio beeped and another call came through. He paused, thinking about where the other crew was, and then realized he and his partner were up next and they'd have to take it.

Sighing heavily, he walked over to his partner, who was waiting by the ambulance. "Well, guess we have to deal with somebody else."

"It's another law assist," his partner replied.

Hyrule blinked. "Another? Good grief, has the whole city lost its mind tonight?"

His partner shrugged and marked up on the radio to say they were responding. The secondary information indicated a motor vehicle crash with entrapment. The two looked at each other, eyebrows raising as the dispatcher spoke more.

Picking up his pace, Hyrule headed for the ambulance. "Well, time for another adventure!"

Climbing into the passenger seat, Hyrule pulled out his computer to look at his call report. He knew he'd have to finish all this paperwork later as he headed to the next incident, so he just jotted down some quick notes to ensure he'd recall this particular patient later:

Drunk as a skunk, Humpty Dumpty took a fall and scraped his knee after he tried to parkour over a fence and failed miserably.

#lu in healthcare #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu legend #lu twilight #lu sky #lu warriors #lu hyrule #emergency departments are just filled with high emotions and chaos #pediatric units are filled with happiness and cheer #if anybody knows someone who works with pediatric patients on a regular basis give them a hug because they're freaking superheroes #and yes I took those notes on a call once because I had to get to another one and needed to make myself laugh #writing #and yes I've seen patients completely flip from polite and helpful with EMS to rude as hell with PD and it makes me sad and annoyed #none of this had any plot but whatever

[mysticbewitched]

MYSTIC AAAA OKOK I've been thinking of sharing this success story online but I feel like a lot of your audience need a serious self concept / confidence boosts and proof that mindset really is the goddamn KEY so here it is :))

this was YEARS ago, I was a teeny tiny middle schooler stopping by 7/11 on my way home from school. I grabbed my snickers bar and waited in line. in front of me was this reallyy cool and cute highschool guy. for some quick context: where I'm from, you can use your bus card to buy shit at certain places like 7/11.

I wanted his attention, to seem cool in front of him, you know? so like out of the blue I started scenario daydreaming. "what if the card machine (the one that lets you use your bus card to pay for shit) isn't working today? and the boy wouldn't have any actual money to pay for the thing he's got?" i have money "what if, in Cute Guy's time of need, I give him the money I was going to use for my beloved snickers bar?" middle school brain man she was so boy crazy. ANYWAYS I then think to myself "what's a cool way to ask someone if they need money?" because of course. immediately I start brainstorming on "cool" ways to ask if he needs money. I start panicking and thinking stuff like, "quick you have to think of something to say!!"

and guess what? seconds after that, when it was his turn in line, that exact scenario happened. the machine wasn't working, the boy didn't have money, I was all, "hey, you need cash?" and lmao yes that was what I came up with. I had hit maximum cool girl energy as I'd hoped, I gave the boy my candy money so he could pay for his bubblegum or whatever the fuck and I STRUTTED OUTTA THERE LETS GOO

now let me tell you, I did not fuckin know what manifesting even was. I literally thought I had had a VISION 😭 but looking back jt was so clear. I embodied the mindset immediately, I didn't think something like "ohh this isnt actually going to happennn" NO I submerged myself completely and anticipated it was already true, that it was just about to happen, that it was inevitable. and it manifested in seconds.

so bitches, embody the mindset, trust yourself, don't even acknowledge the "possibility" (because there is no possibility) of your desire not manifesting.

love you mystic!!

Little Bear, you are starting to become one of my favorite followers.

You are absolutely awesome as hell, my friend.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me, and reading this just blew me away. Wow, this was wild. Your reaction to this event going down must have been funny as hell back then. I'm sure you felt like you were in the twilight zone at this point.

Isn't it best the damn thing ever to be the operant power of your own reality? It is absolutely priceless and simply amazing.

It's such a beautiful thing to truly wake up from the dream and realize your power and the complete control you have over your entire reality. With all of that said, I'm so incredibly glad to hear that you realized the mindset truly is the key to easy and effortless manifestation success.

This is what I have been preaching about since day one, guys. I know exactly what I'm talking about here. I share my knowledge from deeply studying the law of consciousness for two years, being involved with witchcraft for five years, and looking back on my past successes with conscious manifestation.

It was *always* about the state of the mindset.

You just need to change your mindset to the mind of a confident manifestor, and all the struggles with your manifestations simply disappear. It's truly that easy.

Your self-doubting mindset is the only thing standing between you and your manifestations. Why are you doubting yourself? You are the creator.

This is all about faith in yourself.

Love you too and I send so much love to you. 🖤

#manifestation #loassumption #law of assumption #manifesting #law of manifestation

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

❛ you’re important to me, you piece of shit. ❜ for Ghost!Peter and Aro?

I forgot I had this au, haha.

Warning: I have to make references to twilight cause this au weirdly takes place during the plot of those books, movies, whatever. Movies, cause MS is in them and is pretty, and the books are worse.

On with the fic!

--

"I don't trust him." Peter grumbled as he trailed after Aro, leaving the large chamber where vampire business took place.

That 'teenager' with the dead eyes that came here from the states gave Peter bad vibes. He kept glancing past Aro's shoulder while they were talking, as if he knew Peter was there.

"Why do you not trust him, Peter?" Aro asked as they turned a corner, heading for Aro's chambers.

"He just... okay, I know a lot of you guys have spooky, super, special, awesome vampire bullshit powers that basically allow you to do weird shit. Or really lame shit."

Aro glanced at him over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

"Well, can a vampire have the special power to sense the dead?"

"In a sense, we can always sense the dead because we can always sense when you are alive." Aro smiled as he opened the doors and closed them quickly. Peter sputtered and glowered before going through the doors, turning the lock as he did.

"Ass." He hissed at the vampire. "You know what I meant. I meant... can a vampire sense a ghost?"

Now, this made Aro think. "Not that I can recall. Seeing as ghosts are not... normal."

Peter gestured at himself. "Then call me a fuckin' anomoly or whatever, I'm still a dead guy floating around your house cause you killed me."

"Yes, well, I do not believe that Edward can sense your soul or anything like that. However, he can read minds."

"Like... like you can?"

"Oh, no. Well, where I simply need to touch, or be close enough to basically 'read' someone's mind and history, Edward just hears all thoughts at all times. I'm shocked that he hasn't gone insane yet just by all the noise."

"I'd probably pop my ear drums if I was him, then I wouldn't have to deal with such a horrible power." Peter muttered.

Aro shrugged as he started to remove his jacket. "It is rather troublesome to hear all thoughts, but it is also helpful to know what your enemy is thinking. Seems that he can also hear the thoughts of the dead, how fascinating."

Peter didn't like how Aro sounded pleased about the concept. "I still don't trust him."

"And why is that?"

"Because he came here because of some human girl? Seems like a trap."

Aro set his jacket on the back of a chair and turned to Peter. "You suspect he might cause trouble? I doubt that, the Cullen clan keep to themselves, they have no need to fight me and mine. In fact, their leader is an old friend."

"You seriously don't think it's suspicious that he came here randomly cause of some lame girlfriend of his? For real? Especially after telling you about werewolves?"

"I understand your troublesome thoughts, Peter, but he is no threat. Besides, I think it would be wise to keep him here for a while." Aro smiled.

"Why?"

"Why? Because he could be a good ally to my people! A power like that is very important!"

Peter glared. "You’re important to me, you piece of shit." He mumbled to himself, why should he care if Aro might be in danger, the guy killed him after all. But... still. he actually liked Aro, might even l-

"You think I'm important to you?" Aro asked and Peter looked up at him, seeing surprise on the vampire's face.

"N-no! I don't! Fuck you, you heard nothing!" Peter shouted and flew up through the ceiling, wanting to be as far from Aro as he could possibly be. He totally didn't seem an amused and charmed smile on that bastard's face, nope!

--

It's cute that Peter cares about Aro, even if he did murder him.

#vincturi #john's drabbles #ghost (vampire) hunter au

[whatyourusherthinks]

SPY x FAMILY CODE: White Review

Ugh. I don't like anime. I can't really justify why, because things I don't like about anime is also found in stuff I like, like superhero comics or kaiju movies. There was already an anime movie in our theater. It was called Dragon Slayer or Demon Slayer or something, either way I didn't watch it because I haven't seen the anime. I haven't seen the SPY x FAMILY anime either, but I have read the manga. It's something that I can only read in very small bursts, but I do keep up with it. So I have no excuse to not watch this movie. I watched the sub version, but keep in mind I'd still complain about the voice acting in the dub.

What The Movie About?

For convoluted reasons, a spy needs a fake family for a mission. He adopts a little girl who is psychic, fakes a marriage with an assassin, and they adopt a dog who can see the future. For other convoluted reasons, the family takes a vacation up north.

Honestly, if you don't already know the premise of the show, don't watch the movie. Not that you won't understand what is happening, it is pretty straightforward. But there are plenty of minor elements and character dynamics it skips over because the movie expects that the only people watching are people who've seen the series.

What I Like.

So the set-up of SPY x Family is really good. The main characters are great, and the idea of an entire family with each member having a major secret is a really good comedy premise. And the movie is just playing the greatest hits really. Do you like the joke where Yor is freakishly strong and no one seems to notice? They have that joke. Do you like the joke that Nightfall is obviously in love with Twilight and he doesn't notice? They have that joke. Do you like the joke of Anya mispronouncing every other word? What is wrong with you?

I will admit, I was down on the movie until the ending. The ending is pretty awesome, real damn fun, and gorgeously animated. It's almost always balls-to-the wall action, and all of the action looks really cool. The way they showcase motion is incredibly impressive. To be frank, I was barely paying attention until the climax started, then I was grinning. Every family member gets several moments to shine as well, it's incredibly fun. Yor fights a cyborg from Wolfenstein, it's amazing.

What I Didn't Like.

This movie takes a while to get going. In fact, the first half of the movie is really random. Part of the reason why is because they want to showcase every minor character in the series for at least a second, and part of it is because they are trying to be a showcase of every story beat the series pulls. Subplots kinda just come out of nowhere and resolve themselves are weird moments, never to be mentioned again. And the comedy, for me personally, is very hit and miss. The tone itself is hit or miss as well, thinking about it. One second we'll be focusing on the wacky side character obsessed with fortune-telling, then that wacky side character has a serious conversation about CUTTING OPEN A CHILD, then there is a hallucination sequence involving a poop god. All back to back. My final two criticisms are incredibly personal, and I don't know how many people will agree with me. One, I find Anya's voice annoying. I don't usually find how character's sound that bothersome. (Gurgy from the Black Cauldron doesn't bother me at all, actually. Neither does Jar Jar.) But for some reason she does. I think it's the combination of the volume of her voice with her "cutesy" way for talking. Two, THE MOVIE KEPT TEASING ME WITH MY SHIP. I, like many other fans I suspect, want Loid and Yor to end up together for real. They are, as the bards of the interwebs say, OTP. If they actually end up together I suspect it won't be until the end of the series. If it turns out something else, I would be sad but not disappointed I suppose. But I could do without all the almost kissing and getting intimate until Yor punches Loid and all of that kind of thing. It feels like being at a busy restaurant while starving, seeing the server heading towards your table with a tray of food, but them turning the corner right when they should arrive at your table.

Final Summation.

Honestly, thinking back to my experience, I mostly just remember the finale. That finale is really fun! But I think I'd rather just watch it isolated on YouTube or something. Which isn't to say the rest of the movie is bad necessarily. I guess my recommendation come to this: If you like SPY x FAMILY, you will like this movie. If you've never seen the show, but are interested in the premise, maybe check out the movie to see if you'd be interested in delving deeper. Otherwise, there's more fun and interesting movie out right now.

#SPY x FAMILY CODE: White #Recommended Movie

[vazaha-tya]

blood supremacy in harry potter is at a crossroads between xenophobia/racism (not as we understand it), ableism and classism but with jkr having no in depth of understanding of these issues, it really ends up in a sort of twilight zones where power dynamics are incomprehensible. and considering power dynamics have everything to do with discrimination, it's really frustrating

(i'd mention speciesism for the way centaurs, house elves etc are treated but that's a common problem in fantasy. besides, the parallels between centaurs and secluded indigenous communities + house elves and chattel slavery are so fucked up i think analysing it is just gonna make me mad. she should have never touched that with a ten foot pole)

wizard-raised magicals are both the minority according to the subtext (witch burnings, smaller population, inability to blend in, need for their locations to remain hidden) with muggles being their dominant counterpart and the majority because they essentially hold the power to fight back on a higher level than muggles do. hence the xenophobia/racism parallel, which is incomprehensible because of the way the lines between oppressor and oppressed are blurred. she also tried to make it a parallel to antisemitism but talking about that is not my place i think. from what i said before i'd imagine the problem with that is kind of obvious, i mean, the subtext alone, yikes.

the pureblood-muggleborn relationship looks more like a classism thing, especially with the subtext of purebloods being wealthy and having status (+the whole blue blood idea is kinda obvious) and this idea of muggleborns being sort of upstarts encroaching on this "higher society" and introducing their commoner ways. more straight-forward than the former but even there lines are weirded out by the way muggle things really do seem to replace stuff that could be read as parts of wizard culture. muggle holidays are fic writers' favourite example of that and for good reason. how does celebrating halloween make sense? and christmas? the yule ball kind of indicates some awareness of pagan holidays and everyone swears by merlin, i doubt wizards are christian. it mostly stems from jkr thinking of worldbuilding as aesthetic rather than foundation but it really implies weird stuff about how all of those muggle things came to be introduced

the ableism discussion is the only one that has clear and delimited power dynamics but it's pretty obvious it's not done on purpose. here, squibs and muggles are clearly considered less than wizards. i'll admitmy first thought about it was like "duh? i'd rather have magic than not" then i kinda slapped myself because that is not the issue there. of course it's better to be able to do something than not. i wish i didn't have worms for brains and a high chance to inherit my mom's chronic illness. the problem is that not being abled doesn't make you less and yet, that's pretty much never argued in HP. just look at the way filch is treated. at best he is pitied, at worst mocked and scorned. it's really nasty

anyways, listing everything that's wrong in the books would take hours but i have a google docs titled "unhinged ramblings on the nature of blood supremacy in harry potter" so i thought i'd at least share the sparksnotes before deleting it

#harry potter #hp #tya rambles #hp meta #harry potter meta #blood supremacy #everything is fcked up and making sense of it is hard #but harry potter is one of my hyperfixations and i can't let it go #i wish i could because the transphobia issue alone makes me sick #but here i am #writing fics to salvage a little bit of the series #but the more i write the more i realised i can't solve everything #so i might as well complain about it here as well

[captorations]

tw: animal death (nonviolent, elderly.) long post which also features kittens named after TLT characters, to which the warning does not apply.

this is Twilight. he was named for the streaks of orange on his belly, which were even more pronounced as a kitten. not for the vampire series, thank you very much; that nonsense didn't take off until a few months after i named him. he was chosen to be a ten-year-old's first pet because his response to being picked up by a human, as a recently-captured feral kitten, was to purr. not stress-purr, either. his default response to any kind of attention was to purr, absurdly loudly, and this never changed at any point in his life.

he could be grouchy and unpredictable at times, and he never cared for other cats in his space, but he was quite content to live his life alongside mine. he was never a lapcat, preferring instead to curl up somewhere nearby and burst out into purring if i so much as looked at him. i learned his language, able to determine the difference between and meanings of his vocalizations, and he learned mine, responding to his name and offering attention when i was upset. one of the first times Twilight ever came up on my bed with me, when we were both very small, was after a nightmare. sure enough, he was often at my side as i struggled with constant nightmares throughout last year.

but, well. you read the warning. he passed in february, peacefully and painlessly. i miss him dearly. he was my companion for what will for a few years yet count as the majority of my life, and i will always be grateful to him for waiting to go until the evening my partner arrived back home, so she could be with me when he went.

he was, and i recognize that i am quite lucky to have avoided it for so long, the first lost loved one i've had to grieve. and i did grieve. i always will, a little bit. i may have cried while writing this. that's one of the reasons i didn't talk about it here until now.

the other reason is a happier one. i wanted to have good news along with the bad. and i do!

of course i'd thought about what i would do when Twilight passed. my plan was to find a bonded pair of adult cats in need of adoption. but then, as Twilight started to inch past the division between "old cat" and "elderly cat," my partner happened to befriend a feral breeding pair and work to socialize each year's kittens to, hopefully, make it more possible for them to be domesticated by someone else. no TNR programs out there in the sticks, and it wouldn't be ethical to try to domesticate the feral adults.

so. when Twilight passed, and once i had recovered from the worst of it, our attention turned to this year's kittens. it wasn't by any means a guarantee. we couldn't steal them at the ideal age, as the mother was clever and cautious, and taught them to be the same. all the more so because my partner had stolen one of a previous litter to be her mother's pet.

there were so many factors going into this. how many kittens would there be? how many would, and unfortunately this was something we could do nothing about, survive long enough to be socialized and captured? would they like us? would we be forced to make a heartbreaking choice, leaving one or even multiple kittens to remain wild, with all the danger and hardship that entails?

well, the answers to those questions are, in order: two, both, yes, and no. in other words, everything went perfectly. and i'm very glad it did, because i can't even pretend i didn't practically fall in love with them on sight.

i honestly thought my partner was messing with me when she reported a black cat with gold eyes and a grey cat with silver eyes. that couldn't be real. there was no fucking way the universe was handing me two kittens that perfectly match major characters from the locked tomb series, i.e. the most powerful influence on me since homestuck itself.

but no, that's what actually happened. and even though the grey kitten's eyes eventually turned gold too, it hardly mattered, when their personalities started lining up with the characters they resembled. i didn't plan to name my next cats after tlt characters. in fact, i'm a little wary of giving animals the names of characters at all, even derivatives thereof; i prefer to appreciate them as their own selves, not a reflection of another.

however, i make a policy of not ignoring serendipity. we captured them effortlessly, mostly thanks to my partner's work in socializing them. both my partner and i had name ideas, but we agreed not to discuss them until the kittens had been examined by a vet, both in case of health concerns and to confirm genders. sure, gender is fake, and even faker for pets, but whatever.

the vet visit was yesterday, and as we suspected, both are female. so, after comparing notes and compromising on names, i present to you: Nona and Millie, respectively.

i actually had planned to name the black kitten "Hark," but my partner convinced me otherwise, and honestly she's right. Nona suits her better, in personality, in her capacity for violence (against toys, neither has scratched or bitten us even once since capture) hidden by a meek and easily spooked front, and in her habit of following Millie's lead but sometimes wandering off and trying new things and/or getting into trouble. i'll get over the weirdness of the directly copied name soon enough. it's already led to fun sentences, like "Nona spent the entire ride home hiding under a towel." (Nona likes to hang out under things. Millie prefers to climb things. in my partner's terms, Nona is a bush cat and Millie is a tree cat.)

meanwhile, Millie is a double reference. she's mostly named for Camilla Hect, but also for the Millie from warrior cats, who is one of the MVPs of the series, fight me. as mentioned, Millie usually takes the lead between the two. she's a little more cautious about new things, but will accept them after Nona inevitably tries them first. she defaults to protecting Nona when they're both spooked, taking point in the defensive huddle.

please appreciate Nona hiding in the top right photo. she is a black cat who knows she's a black cat, and acts appropriately.

they've adjusted incredibly well. it took about a week for them to be indistinguishable from domestic-born cats, at least when they're around me. my partner handled socialization, getting them accustomed to humans enough that we could capture them with minimal stress. i'm handling domestication, the process of guiding them through their new environment and the expectations of exclusively indoor, household animals. (these expectations are: being cute, not causing too much chaos, keeping us company, and seeking attention at whatever frequency they choose.)

we're both very good with animals, but i have the advantage of being raised by two veterinarians. so even though they were almost four months old on capture, older than is recommended for domestication attempts, i was pretty damn sure i could pull it off. and i did, not least because they're both very smart and adaptable in their own right.

so! thank you for reading this absurdly long post about the personal life of an altogether fairly generic tumblr user. as a reward, you get a video of Millie being annoyed at Nona for going somewhere she can't follow. (note: when Millie goes somewhere Nona can't follow, Nona gets sad and upset and meows pitifully about it.)

#you're welcome. #kittens #the locked tomb

[bebeiaarts]

My Opnion About My Childhood Cartoon (MLP)

I know it's been a while, but I've never talked about it, and I cry with nostalgia. I really didn't like the ending of MLP, I didn't want it to have shown them old, I wanted it to end with them still young. And I also didn't like that Twilight grew up like Princess Celestia, I don't think there's any idea that anyone who becomes a princess grows up like that. I don't understand, she doesn't have old woman wrinkles either, she's immortal now? And the way Spike grew up got ugly too. I thought the ending was more sad than happy.

I know it's normal in life to show that we grow and age, but every time it's illustrated in a series, it's much sadder.

I've been watching it since it premiered in 2010 with my cousin.

I used to be Twilight and my cousin Pinkie. We were very similar when we were little;My cousin was always the happy crazy one who wouldn't sit still like Pinkie, she also has similar hair. When I was little I loved math, I was smart, I had straighter hair, today I wear glasses, and I've always been shy and can't make friends online.

(Of course, physically you don't need to look like a character to identify yourself, but I'm just telling you my case).

Every time I see something related to MLP/EG I cry, because of nostalgia and remembering the good times when I was a kid and I spent the whole time watching until season 6, After that I think the story went downhill a bit.

Not to mention that there are a lot of unanswered things, like, the others stayed single?

Why Twilight isn't wearing her replacement crown for the element of harmony she did once at the end of season 4? Instead, she's using a copy of Celestia and Luna, which they turned their crowns into one for Twilight (Because yes).

Why does Twilight wear a necklace now? (She really became a copy of Celestia).

Why did Celestia and Luna leave everything on Twilight's shoulders?

And her castle? After everything they've been through, she's simply going to abandon her castle?

Did Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack become a couple in the end?

Also Twilight could have stayed her usual size, or at least Cadence's size.

Were her two pupils destined to be princesses too?

If Pinkie ended up with Cheese (I always shipped them), I'd like to see Twilight with Flash, and Spike with Rarity (After he grew up). And the end of the book closing, is this all just a story? But in episode 1 of the first season it showed that Twilight read that book.

I'll be honest, I love MLP and EG so much, but a while later I loved EG more. But this series also took a hit, making episodes instead of films, changing their designs, not having a Sunset Shimmer from this world, the Twilight pony never returning there. Scootaloo being defective in her wings made me really sad that she will never be able to fly, since she loves it. But if she doesn't mind I'll be more relieved (even though it's a cartoon)

I also know that at some point the show had to end, but everyone loved this one, and now they're changing it to MLP 3D for a new children's audience, it's horrible! They were still going to win a lot with MLP: FIM, which was the best version of MLP since the 80s in my opinion. And today's children could follow the old ones.

I think they could have done better.

But anyway, I'm very grateful for this wonderful cartoon that was a big part of my childhood, it was always there to cheer me up at any time .

(just like Sonic).

#mlp #mlp fim #my little pony #equestria girls #eg #mlp eg #opnion #cartoon #childhood #memories #my little pony friendship is magic

[androgynealienfemme]

"Painkillers. I think I must have taken every pill short of the ones they use for birth control. I mean, like, I wouldn't know how to begin to get pregnant, but I could deal with modern technology coming up with a treatment to ease this one pain that won't let me rest in peace sometimes.

I may not be anybody's prize-winning puppy, but I'm all I've got and I like to take good care of the old girl. It took me a long time to understand the kid and get used to my evil ways, but I came around, I like being a butch. I like being with other butches with our nicknames and ball games- women with muscles and pretty faces. I don't believe in bisexuals and cannot for the life of me find a femme. I don't like men and I don't let them fuck me.

For me to live in this man's world, I need some kind of painkiller, something I can pull out at a moment's notice and put between me and the men on the street, because sometimes, I could really kill 'em. They're just the foulest beasts walking on two feet and they're always in packs, just like dogs. It wouldn't be so bad if the women that like them so much would keep them on leashes, curb them, and shoot the strays, but the dudes be all over the place pissing and dropping their turds every which way. And even faggots piss on trees.

So, like, between the men and the dogs, I need some way to keep the weight off my head. I live in New York City, and we dykes may be everywhere like the t-shirts and buttons say, but there aren't that many of us running around loose and free. And I get tired of watching my back and front, and having to look sideways because these men are so damn crazy.

It's not like there's a neighborhood or a space that's all our own where we could have gone to, hung out at, and worked through our growing pains as baby butches. I guess a lot of us learned our ways alone and in secret and we still come out with all the different styles of butches. I really dig on how I can always tell another butch, even if she's in straight drag.

I know for me, I used to read a lot of books. They had this soft-core pornography in the sixties that I gobbled up as a young girl, with titles like Strange Friends, Forbidden Love, The Twilight World, and The Lonely People. On the covers there'd be these women looking very unhappy, like they were yearning for something they'd never be able to have. I could tell just by the titles which books were meant to be about me, and after a while, I knew that if the last page had a man and a woman talking together, it wasn't a happy ending.

It was hard buying the happy endings. I was in my early teens going to the counter with all the shame and fear that the man I'd have to pay would know what I was reading about, and by that, know what it was- something bad, a subject for pornography. I'd sneak the books into the house and wouldn't even want to share them with my brother, who'd been my first and best friend, and is one man I'd kill for still. I'd feel worse about myself, because he and I had always shared our various and assorted treasures like dirty books, but not these: I'd read them by myself under the covers with a flashlight and hide them under my mattress until Friday, when my mother would change the sheets, and on that day, I'd hide my secret life in the closet.

I used to buy the idea that I was "sick." The "sick" theory gave me some whys and wherefores about the way I had to take to bed to learn about what straight boys and girls are able to go find out with each other in alleyways, backyard, parks, and the movies. I didn't know then that what I was reading was truly the perverted version. That pornography was written for straight men- including all the psycho-socio-anthropological scientific bullshit studies on gay women were written by Ph.D.s.

I look back now and see where those books and their ideas rotted my guts and crippled my moral structure. The real crouch and limp came from the drafting of my people - women-loving women- as the whipping girls so that straight society could feel high and holy.

Folks can see the most honorable and upright butch bopping the streets, minding her own business, and they can have a righteous fit over her. We don't have to do anything except be our natural selves and some of these people will think they have a perfect right to use us as toilet paper and then go home to plot us into their fantasies. Men always do this to women any which way: wiping all their mess on some woman who is by herself and they're in a bunch in front of their corner store. After they make their little comments and noises, they're all smiling and at ease and feeling good and cooled out with each other.

If you watch the woman, she looks embarrassed and angry. She feels stupid and she's usually trying to cover that up and pretend that none of it affects her. Now if she's the type of butch who won't calmly take the shit, the men will have to work harder to take it to another level if they want the satisfaction that comes from wiping a person away. They have to go and tell each other that she wants to be a man, or they can act as if they just can't understand "freaks" and how, "If she wants to be a man so bad, why doesn't she come out and fight like one?" Then that dude's brothers can go into their man act and have the pleasure of holding him back from suppposedly going after her ass. They'll be soothing themselves while trying to pull this one and be saying, "Hey, man. You got to be cool, because that is a woman and when she meets the right fella, she'll straighten up and fly right." And he says, "Yeah, man, I just got all beside myself. Bulldaggers and faggots, jim. Hey: you know they both use toilet paper for padding," and they laugh and slap five and their eyes are shining. Their whole beings lighten up. They've jerked off and are relieved.

Okay, that's them. They got to feeling whole and healthy, but the butch-type woman who said, "Fuck y'all. You can keep your shit and kiss my ass behind it," is mad as hell and fit to be tied. She doesn't have anybody on hand that she can make sense to. There's no dog she can kick or make a nigger out of to transfer her shit to, so she's got to carry the load and steam with those juices, sweating it out alone. She probably takes it home and finds it in the mirror in frowns and frustration.

So you can see why I talk about a painkiller. I would like to have a pill that I could share with everybody fair and square. We'd all pop it and come the next day, the streets would be cleared of men, the straight women would loosen up, and the butches would be at least with each other. That's what I would call medical attention for a serious disease that's getting epidemic. I think we should give the afflicted hope: let them know: homophobia can be cured."

"Butch on the Streets, 1981" by Donna Allegra, The Persistent Desire: A Butch/Femme Reader, edited by Joan Nestle (1992)

#the persistent desire #the persistent desire: a butch femme reader #Joan nestle #Donna Allegra #lesbian #lesbianism #lesbian history #butch #butch lesbian #femme #femme lesbian #butch history #butch lit #butchfemme #butchfemme history #lgbtq+ #lesbian lit

[wtl-archive]

Intermission 03: Monster Line Epilogue

Read all the pages in order here.

Blog Info

Artist Credit: NugatorySheep

Okay. We can finally talk about him. Because this? This is the last you're ever gonna see of him. (Which, to be fair, was the original intention.)

This was always planned. I know I've said that before, but I think it needs to be restated.

Before I had any idea how much I'd fall in love with these characters or their stories, before I had any idea of how I wanted anything organized, before I had any plans to keep Druid around after the first chapter, before I even had the explanation for what happened to Druid's timeline to have it be so bleak in the first place, I had this scene in my head. Its one of the only elements of his story that managed to stick throughout all the changes to the plot and all the additions to the story. This one bit stuck, and I actually managed to keep it close to how I initially envisioned it.

In the grand scheme of thing this isn't some revolutionary moment. I think that's why I managed to keep it at all, because in terms of getting Druid back into the story after chapter one it isn't absolutely mandatory, but it's not detrimental either. It has significance, but if it were never in the story to begin with the entire AU wouldn't fall apart. Besides the fact that it has Cactus' cameo, there's nothing objectively wrong with it. But this still means a lot to me, and it's not something I'm willing to just throw away.

When I first started scripting this AU, it was meant to be a series of snapshots in each of theses timelines. You get a glimpse of what the world is like, but there's plenty of room for people to fill in the gaps with their own interpretations about things. There's cliffhangers and unanswered questions that you're never supposed to get an answer for. You visit for a bit, get a snippet of the world's story, then you leave. Think the Twilight Zone, Black Mirror, or Love Death and Robots.

I like to joke a lot that I was going to kill Druid at the end of the first chapter, and while his death was pretty much an unavoidable ending for him even after I decided to make him a more permanent member of the cast, the original ending for him wasn't quite as simple as that. He would manage to capture White, and he would still get fully corrupted in the process, but that was it. We would never see him again, dead or alive. His final fate would be a mystery.

What we would see however, is where the bubble ended up: back at the temple, where the only sentient life that wasn't a gem monster was waiting. The oldest version of this was not a cactus Steven, just a generic plant Steven with a few other variants that were an array of different plants/veggies/fruits. And, now that all of the other Diamonds were caught, they would begin the process of healing the gems, starting with Pearl. Druid's timeline might be bleak, but this little moment gives a potential way out of the nightmare. Maybe there's still a chance for the gems to find a cure even if Druid can't.

You might think that's terrible storytelling, and that an ending should more satisfying than that. I'll agree to disagree. This story might be unorthodox, but it's not bad. There's things I wish I had done differently, but this isn't one of them.

So much of this AU's story got changed, deleted and shifted around. So much of it got taken out of my hands. That's to be expected of course given the nature of it, and I certainly wasn't expecting to be able to keep all of my original vision intact, that's just unrealistic. I said yes to a lot of things, some of which in hindsight probably shouldn't have. I tried my best to be accommodating at every possible turn. I tried, I did my best, and somehow it wasn't enough. Everyone thought that I didn't care. A year and half of work, but sure, I didn't care!

This first chapter was the one thing I could say was actually mine. Besides some things here and there, it was all me. Its the one territory that I owned, and it was the only thing I had left that I could say with any real confidence I did all on my own. This was me.

I'm saying all of this so you can understand why it bothered me so much when I was told to just delete it. There were so many things that I was okay throwing away prior to this. I removed a bunch of posts from the blog. I gave away two of my favorite characters. I relinquished control of so many things. This was the last thing that was MINE. This was ALL. I. HAD. LEFT. I was so tired of saying yes, or being pressured into doing what everyone else wanted to do. So for once in my worthless life, I said "no". I said no, and I wasn't going to give any other answer, Cappy and Liam be dammed.

Fact of the matter is, Cappy and Liam stopped being a problem for me the second they walked out the door, it was everyone else making it my problem that continued to make working on this AU a fucking nightmare. Cactus' overarching role in this AU was irrelevant the moment Cappy left, but this cameo was decided upon well before then and the original agreement was just this cameo and nothing more. All the stuff that was planned after that was just a bonus. This intermission was finished before he chose to leave. It still would've happened regardless of whether or not Cappy decided to expand Cactus to have his own timeline, and I refused to destroy the one thing I had left because of other people insisting Cappy keep being an issue for me despite him having fucked off months prior.

At the time I said no and left my answer at that. I didn't bother trying to pour out my heart and explain why this was so important to me because, well, every other time I tried to say no and explain why, it didn't matter. Any time my opinion was different, there was nothing I could say that would convince anyone to side with me. Despite being the supposed leader of this project, my voice was completely useless and I had no authority. Whenever I tried to set my foot down, I was the bad guy. It was always a fight and I always lost. This time there wasn't going to be a chance to fight, because I wasn't going to change my mind.

Just for once I wish I could get someone to take me seriously without having to be an asshole about it first.

#chapter one #the monster line #story post #walk the line #walktheline au #au/niverse #steven universe #su #comic page #intermission #kinda went off but... this has been bothering me for a long time. #old wtl content

[legendofzoodles]

*Sprays you like a houseplant*

I really appreciate you further writing smoke signal, as I really enjoy reading it (and I hope you enjoy writing it, I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to do something just bc I like it but I'm getting off topic).

I really like Time's role in the story essentially acting as a human slap to Wild's face, I found their face off really cool and while I don't think Wild is going to pay any mind to it past "oh..oh well", I think that it's really going to bite him when he eventually reunites with a very angry chain.

Speaking of chain, Twilight is gone, and seeing as though he can literally turn into a wolf I don't have to wonder if he's following Wild. What I DO wonder though, is if they meet up before Wild meets reader, and they fight and separate, or if Wild and Twilight stumble upon reader together, and if they do, how that's gonna effect the chain reunion (bc Twilights pretty protective of Wild, esp now that Wild just lost his...s/o????), maybe he'll distract the chain long enough for Wild to have a moment alone, maybe he already did and meet a hostile chain halfway back. How will it effect their dynamic? I doubt it'd stay the same, esp not since he handles their food.

Rambling over, really enjoying the story and thought I'd leave a ask/comment

Thank you for taking the time to message me dear anon, and for watering this here flower! (art by astrelle) I like writing Smoke Signal, I wouldn't write it if I didn't feel inspired. Though because people asked for a continuation I’d be lying if there wasn’t a bit of pressure, but now I’d getting off topic 😂

I love that you got those interpretations from the story, and all those story threads are really interesting. I haven’t really thought about it yet but the whole thing is either gonna force the chain to be more honest with each other, or just make them drift apart and act more like co-workers than trusted friends. That’s the only way these sorts of things can go, you either get to the root of the problem and fix it, or you don’t.

But anyway I’m really glad you enjoy the story! btw i do actually have a houseplant, it’s an orchid white :)

Wild characterisation notes here:

More on Wild, he’s basically not thinking- not that he’s stupid, just that he’s fixated on getting to s/o. There’s a small chance they’re in danger/need help, but that’s a small chance too much, he’s not gonna let anything happen to them. He won’t fail them. This is a version of Wild who’s for lack of a better term, severely emotionally constipated. 

He spent years prior to the Calamity locking away his feelings and not dealing with them in favour of training- and I suspect that’s been a coping mechanism of his even before becoming the appointed knight. Sure he got to let loose a little 100 years later, but he had to fight the Calamity all alone while picking up his lost identity, being reminded of his failure and being told about his old ‘perfect’ self by others. Then after that went back to being the appointed knight to a near stranger who secretly wants the version of him that died. 

He hasn’t given himself much time to process it all, preferring to distract himself with endless missions and quests, and thus all those problems are just kinda sitting there. S/o has tried to help and while Wild appreciates it greatly, he can’t open up or return that affection very well. 

And he’s even worse with the chain, even Twilight and Hyrule who he likes a lot. Inner insecurities drive a wedge between him and members like Warriors and Sky, who in his eyes are just superior knights. He straight up envies pretty much all of them in some way, like the child who stabbed Ganon in the head first time, while he couldn’t make even it to Hyrule castle. He hasn’t talked about any of this stuff, that would be weakness. They don’t know any of this is going on since he acts goofy and friendly save for the occasional outburst, so it all just festers out of sight.

Regarding what Wild did it’s less about a breach of trust (tho it is about that for sure, especially with Twilight and Rulie) and more about the error in their judgement. Most didn’t trust that Wild would stay put and watched him like a hawk as he prepared dinner, but they expected him to something like create a loud, possibly explosive distraction and make a run for it.

As shown when he backed away from Time’s challenge he didn’t want to hurt any of them. plus he doesn’t see it as a big deal, from experience he knows you can wake if danger finds you, and while it probably wouldn’t be pleasant for them they’re seasoned heroes, so they’ll be fine. 

#linked universe #linked universe fanfiction #Lu fanfiction #lu fanfic #lu fic #lu wild #lu time #lu twilight #lu hyrule #lu flora #smoke signal lu fanfic #zoodles ask #lu #linkeduniverse

[abbysprettygiiirl]

(previous nonnie) !! first off, i relate so much to how you feel. it sucks so much to feel this way, like you're not pretty, not worthy of being loved and stuff like that. :(( but know that u are loveable !! just because you think that way of yourself, doesn't mean others think the same. your brain is just bein' mean to you. and it sucks sm to feel this way but know that you're not alone !! and hey, ain't your username "abby's pretty girl?" :3 u r pretty !! <33 and you seem so sweet !!!

for artists you mentioned, i've only listened to montell fish once or twice but definitely will listen to some more! i love billie eilish as well !! and 'm so excited for her next album hehe. i also like salvia plath. lana, i do like her music but like – born to die era !! < 33 🍒 never heard of saint avengeline but will def check them out !! :3

and i'll listen to the songs you mentioned !! hehe. personally, been obsessed with rizha's last ep. mostly "bella swan" !! also looove "mutt" by sophie meiers. :3

i will watch the semmelsweis movie ! never heard of it, but why not !! and you said you're interested in medicine? do you wanna work in that field? if so, that's so cool !! and if not, it's cool too. i like movies that involve medical procedures tho i don't know shit about medicine stuff haha. and those movies are so good ?? white chicks is one of my favs as well. my favorite movie 4ever will always be la la land tho. :(( also i need to watch the new mean girls.

also um. don't judge me. but i never actually watched a twilight movie 😭 and no harry Potter either (cause i don't like the world, but thats my opinion.) never watched glimore girls either. i need to watch arcane tho !! also. you're the first person i met who watched feel good <33 mwaaah !!!

i need to read the twisted series but first, need to read the two books on my tbr !! (truthfully yours by caden armstrong is my next read.) and do you have a favorite poetry book? or favorite poem? :))

ALSO TULIPS. mwaaaah !!! tulips for u !! 🌷🌷🌷💌 they're my favs too !! love them sm. they're so prettyyyy. <33 and from your name, i would've thought lilies were also your favorites haha. ;3

anyway !! sorry this is so long but i want you to know that i'll gladly listen to you ramble about your day or books anytime !! (tho m anonymous, cause im actually shy to text haaa >_<) btw, can i be 🌷 anon? :3 mwaah !!!! bisouuuus

I'm gonna cry, u r so fckin sweet:(

did you read the rolling stones article in which billie gave an interview? I was like OH LORD.

aww, I listened to "mutt" by sophie meiers, cute music, but still sad, it is really from a dog's vision? :( (ANYWAY, ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME MUSIC? I HOPE SO, BC IF NOT.. THEN I'M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED)

I don't really know what I want to do, I'm really interested in medicine, but I'm too lazy to study (and too scared to fail).

if you watch the movie Semmelweis, I'd be interested in your opinion about it, so if you're interested, by all means write how you liked it!! <33

I've heard of la la land, but I've never seen it, but maybe I'll watch it!

everyone has their own opinion, it's totally fine if you don't like Harry Potter that much, everyone has different tastes <3

Arcane is so FCKIN AMAZING, I've watched it like four times, can't wait for season 2 omg I'm sooo excited!!! about feel good.. I loved it, Mae and George were so cute:(

omg let me know if you manage to read the book you want! <3 here are my favorite poetry books, and there are two more books that I forgot to mention, but they are about fashion:

(I wanted to buy them in English, but unfortunately I didn't think of ordering online😭)

fashion books:

TULIPS ARE THE BEST!!!🌷💕

I also like lilies, but their scent is too strong for me:/

IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY, I LIKE WHEN PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO ME, REALLY!! :)

thank you so much again, I'm glad that someone will listen to me ramble about some fandom stuff ^^ (don't worry, I'm also a shy people!)

Of coursee, you're my 🌷 anon from now on!

XOXO

#lily's 🌷anon #lily is yapping