#i dont know how to do this help

[r4izx]

This masterpiece, I won't forget.

painter!scaramouche x gn!reader

summary: he paints you everyday, just to remember the face he had long forgotten.

- 904 words and 4,833 characters.

warnings!: implied death, slight spoilers to sumeru archon quest (?)

you took care of kabukimono. teaching him household chores, letting him live with you and all those kind actions that made him trust you. but just like every other of his companions and just like any other mortal, you die at the end. what did he expect? kabukimono always thought he was betrayed. leaving him? just like that? just like the rest? he knew it- you were no different- he assumed and believed such foolish thoughts. but that was because he was too naive. he realized only now that you truly cared for him. otherwise why would you waste your time to entertain a stranger like him? teaching him all kinds of emotions. why would you even accept him to your home? to the point he could call it his home as well? guilt builds up in his throat, he regrets everything everyday. but his biggest regret--

...is that he can't remember your face.

how long has it been since he last saw your face? a hundred- no, more than that, probably. several hundred years has passed since he last saw the face that saved him. saved him from internal emptiness. despite having no heart, every memory of you fills his chest with a warm, stuffy feeling. a bright smile coming from you in every memory. oh how he wishes to see your face. despite barely remembering what you look like, he paints you. every. single. day.

the moment he went from the balladeer to wanderer, he looked back to the past he tried so hard to escape even when you were included in his past. another one of his regrets it seems. all his paintings of you were never finished. he just can't get it right. he knows paintings aren't enough to replicate your radiance, but why does it not give off your vibe-- not even a bit? but still. he tries. he tries anyway. he continues to paint his memories of you. he remembers all the warm memories, every detail but just not... your face. in his paintings, your face is either blurry, scribbled at-- out of frustration probably--, or a face that doesn't resemble you at all. scaramouche wishes he would remember.

he thinks of every possibe way he could to remember you. asking the traveler, nahida, heck- even al-haitham for archon's sake! but it all leads to one thing. irminsul. he got his memories back from irminsul, so what are the chances? he went to irminsul. nahida didn't even hesitate to let him go because she for sure, already knows the reason why he wants his memories back. he doesn't pray to archons. he doesn't want to. but if... just if there's a slight chance of remembering your face. even if it's just a glimpse of it. he would even go as far as to beg to the archons.

he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, and remembering. deeply focused, he could hear fire crackling. maybe a little bit too loud. oh. too loud. and all of a sudden he sees a burning house. no- a home. his home. your home. he took steps closer to inspect it. 'this is definitely a memory' he thinks to himself. he had forgotten it though. impossible. what could it be in this memory that would make him forget it? especially if it included you- oh.

a faint call for help, slowly fading through the smile you let out. underneath all the burning rubbles, you were there. in a life and death situation. scaramouche now remembers. the one memory he wished he never did remember, even if it included you. the memory of you dying. now, you were a mortal. you dying wasn't really the reason why he wished to forget this memory. it was all because of another regret. he regrets it that he left you there. if he only took a step closer to you and lend his hand for you just like you did for him, maybe you could've been with him right now. but he didn't. at that moment he hated you. resented you. he was far too greedy. how many betrayals has it been? he swore he had good memory but there's no use to keeping track of things like this. he was too naive. when he was out there resenting you with his whole body, leaving you to death- you never hated him. until the very end of your life, you never did. why didn't you scream at him? tell him to go die? why did you smile? you were dying but you still smiled. at him. truly, every memory of you has your smile. this wasn't the way he wanted to remember your face, no. but if there was no other choice then, what could he possibly do? he regrets everything. but now he could finally paint your face. paint the smile that kept him safe and sane the way he is now.

alas, a painting of you is finally finished. just like how he filled in an empty part of your face in his painting, you once again has filled his empty chest with this warm, stuffy feeling. is it comfort? love? the feeling of security? he doesn't know. but what he does know is that he will continue to paint you for eternity. he will paint you until there is no more paint to paint with. until there is no more space in his canvas. because he doesn't want to forget you again. he doesn't want to regret anything, ever again. he truly regrets everything--

...but you.

#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #genshin angst #scaramouche genshin impact #genshin x reader #i dont know how to do this help #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #scaramouche angst #genshin oneshots #wanderer x reader #rai! ✍️

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[araneapeixes]

in the bathroom at the gay clubbbb

#a less edited version added for plausible deniability that its not a mirror selfie #bc i know astarion shouldnt be visible in the mirror. but the vision was too strong #anyways on the dancefloor shadowheart is doing those goth girl dances from tiktok #and astarion is doing the fork in the garbage disposal #they dont get any btw bc they get too drunk on tequila and end up throwing up outside and #astarion has to call wyll to pick them up. he does of course #at the same time laezel and karlach are getting into a bar brawl someplace else #and gale is going snork mimimi at home:) #i really like how the shading came out here. adding highlights really helps with 3d shapes #and the way ive shaded shadowhearts torso had me feeling like pygmalion ngl #bg3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #shadowheart #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 modern au #i NEED to draw shad in more outfits

[catmask]

okay. say i were to have a hand drawn frame animation. and a background i wanted to animate via tweening. and i wanted to composite that all together into one scene on one program. i already have the assets drawn but i need to put it all together in a very specific what.

What Fucking Program is that because ive been crashing my photoshop trying to do it in there and i KNOW i can make smoother animations than what its tweening feature allows. also it doesnt have timeline layers which is annoying asfuck

#btw i dont need anyone to do this for me i just need to figure out how to do it Myself but i dont know where to do it #like i have a very. specific idea of what i need. i NEED one of those youtube warrior cats animation bitches to HELP ME #i see the work you people do i KNOW what im trying to do is possible #scratchpost

[creekfiend]

While I'm talking about social stuff I had to learn as an autistic person

There's a LOT of social interactions between human beings whose purpose really boils down to being like that thing dogs do where they go "omg YOU'RE a dog??? I'M a dog!!!!!" And that's not a bad thing. Highly ritualized "meaningless" displays of human connection like friendly greetings and talking about things like weather actually do serve a purpose which is like idk ritualized displays birds do. YOU'RE a human? Omg I'M a human!!!! Wow!!!

And they don't have to be your favorite flavor of interaction. You can even think they're silly. But they DO serve a purpose or else they wouldn't be a thing.

#'why do people ask how you are if they dont want to know' its a ritual display. a lot of things are ritual displays #this helps ME a lot bc in other animals i think ritual greeting displays are cute #so i can just port in that emotion when i frame human greeting displays like that lol

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

#my art #my writing #who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life) #i dont know what this even is #i just work here #disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like. #most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis #so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps #i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction #if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #blood #love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor

[thedisablednaturalist]

I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.

And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.

But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.

Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.

So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.

Respect our rest.

#wrenfea.exe #DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends #this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated #also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to #thats what therapists are for #also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better #but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits #and not being pressured to push past them #ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method #like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method #and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself #and i need to adapt rather than push forward #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #cripple punk #cripplepunk #cpunk

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

#note: this is a kitchen in a house of change. they are still on the road w the party #not to say i think that maybe chillin out in one location with some loved ones and planned visits from their friends would fix siffrin #but i am saying that they do seem to hoard random items at every given oppertunity. which is an interesting habit #isat #isat fanart #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #isat spoilers #sifloop #isat siffrin #isat loop #sloops #lucabyteart #but yeah no i dont actually know that siffrin would wwwant to be . travelling literally forever. given the. well. um #that one QnA answer especially. the immediate deflective joking when asked how long they'd been a traveller. mm. #it's not like they chose this life is the thing. and we know they have a habit of forcing themselves to 'stick to the script' #i really do think they'd be better for some stability. its not like you cant have a house and also go on fun travel holidays also #(if you want my real opinion. why not just move to bambouche to help raise bonnie. but. that's fanfic territory at that point)

[chloesimaginationthings]

I saw your recent post regarding fnaf merch ideas and I whipped up these concept sketches as quickly as I could! (In between the 10 billion interruptions)

I thought of these for double sided keychains. Feel free to use the idea if they spark inspo, or don't, I just thought they'd be neat (note, these are rushed doodles)

THIS IS SO COOL TYSMM!! 💜💜

#ask reply #fanart #YOU DONT even know how helpful this is!! #I can’t believe I almost missed it #I had a pretty good idea of what charms I wanted to make and how they look #but these help a ton to confirm my own ideas of which direction to go #DIDNT NEED TO do this but means so much that you did 😭💗💗 #I love this TYSM for thr suggestions! #you guys are too good to me fr fr!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Barnaby from last stream! he's. Yeah <3

#the guy the dude the him! The Most Dog Ever can i get a yeehaw and a hawyee #i swear i will crochet that barnaby head #i know how to do it.... it can be done... #i need his head on my Shelf. or like #idk mounted on a wall plaque or somethin #that would be more realistic. i dont have much shelf space left! #too many books! too many trinkets! too many delightful misc. items! #but still. it would be nice to have him Nearby #part of him at least! #he can join the little home i havent made yet for the wally plush #scribble salad #barnaby b beagle #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #please excuse the hearts i simple Could Not help myself #he is - as wally would say - the most! #I Think I Made His Tie Too Small. Fuck #i mean uh um. little tie for a little guy!

[pastelhooman]

[WVW Exchange Event 2023!]

"The kisses on your lash, your ears, on the nose that keeps scrunching. The kisses on your hand, on your cheeks, and the exchanging soft words waiting for the break of day."

----- ID under break -----

A total of 6 pages of comics, starting with a close up shots of vash kissing sleeping wolfwood's nose, eyes, lashes, and he furrows them a bit. an overhead shot of the two of them in a motel room, on the bed with vash leaning over wolfwood from the left, laying soft kisses on him. their legs tangled. their normal outfits are thrown haphazardly on the floor, instead donning comfortable clothes. on the outside, the very first ray of lights are yet to shine.

"what a face you're making pfft" - vash says as he grabs both of wolfwood's cheeks, squeezing them a bit. wolfwood mumbles, "There's something that keeps landing on my face, it tickles." he grabs the hand that is on his right cheek. "Well you're letting it happens anyways right?" Vash muses, bringing the hand up to kiss on its knuckles. "Good morning Wolfwood. It's almost dawn"

"… Isn't it way too soon?" - wolfwood asks, but keeps to himself the prayers he's sending to god because the the boy on top of him was such a sight to behold. Vash flops down onto him, leaving the hand hanging and lace his own hand into Wolfwood's hair, peppering kisses to the side of his face. "Yep" - he answers - "But you woke up on your own tho" - facetiously. He giggles, saying that it was a joke after a beat of silence. A sigh, "don't make me upside you first thing in the morning." Wolfwood closes his eyes, hand combing through golden strands. "Heh, how merciful~" "We have a meet up with Milly and Meryl today, remember?" Vash reminds him, which does raise some vague memory. wolfwood hums, the other hand reaching around vash's torso, hugging him. " So, the sooner we arrive, the less likely she'll chew through my head." - Vash adds. "riiiight. And you were SO urgent in waking me up." in wolfwood's hold, both of them slowly turn to the right, towards the edge of the bed.

Well, you were just soooo cute, I couldn't help it! didn't thinkk you'll actually wakE UAA-!"

the bed creaks under the sudden shift in weight as wolfwood tosses vash over and under him, arms firmly hugging him, one at his back and one at his head, hungrily dives down to kiss. "!! Wolf-! Wait-!" Vash yelps, leg instinctively curls around the other's man hip to hang on, trying his damnest to grip on his shirt as HE is now half airborne, barely has any contact with the bed on his upper body. However, wolfwood seems to have another idea as he keeps deepening the kiss, pointedly holding Vash close, hands spread guarding the back of his head as both of them are sliding off the soft fabric.

"THUD!" a resounding fall, possibly enough to wake the room downstairs, followed shortly by laboured breaths amist wet smacks of lips. Heaves and huffs of air exchanging between the two bodies when the need to breath made itself necessary. They press close, cradling each other, and are lost to their own world. After a while they had to part. Metal arm shifts through black locks, caressing down to his nape and they hold eye contacts there, with lidded eyes, strands of saliva thins then breaks.

Wolfwood pushes up on his arms, looking smugly down at his now disheveled partner: "Now this is how it's done, Needlenoggin." he remarks. Vash tries to wrangle his thoughts back in order, but strings of Wolfwood's name and a wonderous question keeps filling his mind, of whether he should risk it all and have fun for a bit more. Regardless, snapping out of his trance, Vash sourly asks, with a wry smile and an aching head: "But did you really need to roll off the bed?" "Wrong side, whoops" - Wolfwood anwers unseriously, laughing as he finds the situation quite amusing.

----- End of ID -----

#sorry if the ID is weird it happens everytime i tried to ID my comics it turned into psuedo-fics- #the cap is the prompt btw #the exchange is basically secret santa except it was in may lol #it was incredibly fun to work on this!! #and originally i drafted this to be like 4 pages and it got longer and l o n g e r and i was like oh no #all is good i made the deadline dont worry #yeah only some ten minutes left before it was overdue lol #oh and the event was last month i just procrastinated and didnt post it on anywhere except fb mb #half the reason was because i do NOT know how to ID and half way through it was feeling like writing a fic and that took. time #didn't help that i started writing when i was very sleepy and basically forgot about it for weeks #wElL aNyWAys #hope you enjoy this <3 #i really really love the prompts that i was given there were 3 in total but i only did one #they were all superb #vashwood #woodvash #wvw #vwv #wv #vw #trimax #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun manga #vash the stampede #vash trimax #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #wolfwood trimax #wvw exchange event 2023

[katiky-png]

i drew them but like. i am a lazy worm

silly boy

#this is my attempt at reviving my blog (kind of) #help i forgot how to draw #how do you draw #someone teach me #how to draw #because i dont know how to draw #TOTALLY NOT ME EDITING IT WITH ANOTHER DOODLE BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO POST IT SEPARATE #ranchers #team ranchers #rancher duo #tangotek #tango fanart #tango tek #tango #jimmy solidarity #jimmy solidarity fanart #solidarity fanart #solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #solidaritygaming fanart #mcyt #mcytblr #trafficshipping #ig?!?!?! #trafficblr #katart

[soup-child]

The fact that Adaine "i don't know if im asexual im 15" Abernant and Riz "why is everyone so horny im definately aroace" Gukgak both being in the same show is incredibly important to me

#like i was just like adaine at 15 and have slowly shifted more towards riz but i like that both are shown #having 2 characters with similar aspec experiences and showing how they react differently is great #and do i think adaine is ace? not really i think if she feels attraction she would put that on the back burner while she deals with her #anxiety and her family being the worst and even now thats shes dealt with all that i dont think its a storyline shell dive into #i think what im trying to get at is that having people support her being ace would help adaine regardless of how she ends up identifying #and i think that riz having a friend (one who doesnt identify as ace) is important for him and feeling like he fits in while being aroace #i dont know if that made any sense but they are best friends #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #you'll have to pry aroace riz from my cold dead hands #<- thats my aroace riz tag

[tasenwrobots]

...and then they hugged

I imagine this frequently, might as well animate it.Not me animating for the first time without knowing shit about even the basics 💀

Based of this post of cass apocalyptic series made by the dude the myth the legend @somerandomdudelmao . You have inspired me to make my first ever animation thingie :]]

#JUST BECAUSE MY LAPTOP IS NOT WORKING DOESNT MEAN I CANT ANIMATE ON MY PHONE #(no but send help pls i cant live without my laptop #MEAJAJEAHAHA i should be studying dammit #was legit animating in the bathroom cuz i dont have time #maybe i dont know how to animate. but i do know how to draw #tmnt #rottmnt #cass apocalyptic series #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rexdraws #donatello rise #f!donnie #future donnie #future donatello #rise donnie #casey jones jr #casey jr #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt movie #save rise #artists on tumblr

[heartorbit]

i would advise against sneaking a bunch of silly billies into your castle

#project sekai #emu otori #nene kusanagi #tsukasa tenma #rui kamishiro #pjsk #proseka #prsk #polysho week 2023 #there that wasnt so bad #i hate taaaagging #Saki chortling her ass off btw. Do They Know #snailing towards drawing backgrounds properly... its helpful for my comms but im still so bad.... #My emu favoritism shines theough again in that its obvious i drew her first. Im sorry. kind of. #i dont have insane tags to put this time i have to get up for class in like 7 hours. i have a midterm. farewell.... #actually how could you put polysho week during my midterms. SICK. (ignored that i couldve used the time prompts r given in advance to draw) #ive always done this for fanweeks i try to draw on the day of like a sicko. INEED TO GONTOSLPEY #please stop following me if i check and i hit a milestone im going to feel bad. i dont look at it often enogub to cstch them when they happ #en. stop being niceys to me. #i was thinking of doing simple rqs or something... bc im grateful and it would be fun..... waugh.... #why didi stay up finishing this. my wrist hurts and im sleepy. Lord.

[st4rking]

tfw you, as a mind reader, have to team up with a man who thinks too much

Slight spoilers in tags

#wednesday spoilers #marvel spoilers #your honor they're my emotional support dysfunctional couple #as everyone should know #i love tony stark #hes baby girl (derogatory) #and I also love emma #I feel like they're great foils to each other but I dont want to talk about that #theres so much controversy around their wedding #however #people do not realize how funny their friendship could be #tony “i think a mile a minute” stark #Emma “Worst time to be a telepath” Frost #you could not tell me the shenanigans that would happen if the situation was not so dire. #if it was not life or death #emma would be flooded with Tonys nonsensical ideas against her will #she is being held hostage send help #yes i know emma wont read his mind without consent but also mindreading would be smart now #especially since they're kind of alone in this #I have so many thoughts on them #AND THEY SAID MRS. AND MR. EMMA FROST #Literally called Tony malewife #Also Feilong is terrifying as an Iron Man villain #The Invincible Iron Man (2023) #I know this isnt how Tony looked in the comic but this is how I draw my tony #tony stark #marvel 616 #diddlydoo #emma frost #irondiamond