#i feel sick but i'm so happy

[upsidedownsmore]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok so uh i got commissioned by warframe and now I can finally talk about it oh my goddddd!!!!

article they so lovingly wrote with questions for each of the 5 artists is HERE !!!

so back in December DE reached out to me to do a glyph commission of Kullervo, and I'm still unbelievably floored that any of this has happened to begin with like ???

but yeah I'm super super stoked about this, THANK YOU DE THANK YOU!!!

wips and stuff below the read line!! :) :) :)

Idea sketches, in order of completion:

After getting feedback from DE, I went with the 4th one as the closer profile shot would work better for something as small as a glyph

wip sequence from linework to final:

The linework by far took the most time, but it paid off once I got to rendering! Having a single project I could focus all of my energy into after my growth from Tennotober was an amazing experience!!

Alternate grayscaled version of the glyph that I also like:

also here's a screenshot of the insane number of reference pics i had just in case lol:

Very interestingly DE actually wanted this drawing to be somewhat inspired by the work I did on Hollowframe (I KNOW RIGHT???), and they specifically had the Radiance in mind when thinking of the right feel for him, which was very fun to work in and slowly deviate from as I refined the drawing. if you told me two years ago that hollowframe would lead me to getting commissioned by warframe i wouldnt believe you but uhhhhhhhhh here we are i guess???

anyways that's all, ty again DE and the wonderful community team for giving me this opportunity and that honestly extends to this whole creator program deal as a whole!!

ok byyyyyyye :)

#warframe #warframe art #warframe kullervo #warframe tag #wf tag #wf #UpsideDownSmore's art #artists on tumblr #digital art #krita #i'm gonna explode #i'm finally released after 4 months #i feel sick but i'm so happy #ty guys :)

[clueless1995]

god sid, it really is fuckin brutal out here

#VERY quick and slapdash scream edit i literally cut it short because i got SLEEPY and i'm only like four days post surgery so nobody can be #mean only really niceys okay #mine #i promise i'll make a full version someday #sidney prescott #scream #happy halloween #tumblr pls process this before i feel physically sick Please #also tatum is an icon of a best friend i love her #tw gore #tw violence

[sleepanonymous]

Alright, this video hurts so bad to watch but! Vessel had runes painted on him?! Did we know this? Has this been talked about?!

(@thejawsoffate pspsps 🖤🙏 could you help decode? he's got them on his arms and neck but he's moving so much i can't make anything out)

#sleep token #vessel sleep token #vessel #video #song tmbte #song take me back to eden #on a side note #i really hope this man feels all the love we gave him last night #i'm so worried he's disappointed #or that he might feel like he let us down #and i just want him to feel happy and proud of himself #he's accomplished so much #and right before a major life milestone (i'm trying to be vague on purpose) #i hope he has the best night sleep he's ever had in his life #i hope he a speedy recovery from whatever ailment kept him from singing (be it sickness or an anxiety attack or both) #and i hope everyone close to him lets them know how proud they are of his accomplishments

[mulderscully]

— OLIVIA GATWOOD

#dwedit #rtdedit #doctor who #dw #dwgif #doctor x rose #ten x rose #tenrose #tenth doctor #rose tyler #otpsource #romancegifs #userdiana #usertix #useraurore #userlanie #usertom #i'm sorry about this. but it's rtd who is sick in the head not me #how does this still make me SICK all these years later + they had a happy ending? #i don't even know it's just so. like i feel it in my BODY lol the way they can't touch is so. eough

[sugarsweetvirgo]

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... 🐑🎄🎁

#cult of the lamb #merry christmas #happy holidays #ssv #art #digital fanart #sugarsweetvirgo #COTL #so fun fact i started this on the 12 #and i got sick. twice. so i put it off literally 1/3 the way through #but then it became the 25th and the irrational side of me was like “oh my god we need to get this done today” #yall know that feeling lmao #I'm still sick but i had to finish it

[sylvies-kablooie]

📷 tom hiddleston and sophia di martino at GQ and paul smith's dinner, feb 15th, 2024

#wish they were pictured together but. alas! happy to see them regardless #tom hiddleston #sophia di martino #btw i tried that trick to convert webmps to pngs and it did not work so i had to screenshot these like a peasant #the lengths i go to for these two smh! #anyway they both look great. apparently tom had been sick for weeks so i'm glad he's doing better. #being sick for weeks is something i excel at so i feel ur pain tall british man

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

[bitternace]

(12/12!)

last thing one sees before being struck with a thundaga :3c

[ID: two digital drawings of kingdom hearts character, larxene in her organization 13 coat. the backgrounds are light blue, and the colors are washed-out.

in the first image, she is shown with most of her back to the audience. one of her legs is raised at hip height, and the other is slanted as if jumping backward. one of her arms is bent at chest height with her knuckles facing upwards. on either hand, she holds four knives of her characteristic weapon, foudre. she looks over her shoulder with a daring expression, the tail of her coat flaring by the side of her body.

the second image is a close-up of her face. /End ID.]

#kh #kh fanart #larxene #kh larxene #kingdom hearts #my doods #spent a long time reconstructing this one because (i'm sick) i wasn't. totally happy with the pose but y'all #idk how foreshortening works i did my best #I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA FOR HER that was gonna start as marly/larx but i'm not sure it works since it's her month and all but man #I WILL wait until i'm feeling bvetter #her knives are so pretty but damn #DAAAAAMN

[stabbyfoxandrew]

not so happy happy wednesday! hope you'll be all back on your feet soon :(

I was about to go to bed when I saw you were doing wipw again (which is insane btw gods strongest solider wtf) hope your little break helped :((

Since I love both arsonist!neil and your guardian angel!neil equally I'd like to let you chose (just whichever you prefer to work on right now) anyway lots of love hope things will look a little better for you soon <3

(also happy new year!)

WIP Wednesday (1/3) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 86)

Without another word, Aaron pulls out a DVD and heads for the TV stand. Andrew blinks. What… Did Aaron get a movie on the way over here? What the hell? Andrew curses himself. He should’ve done something. It’s their fucking birthday and Aaron is doing all the work. Funny isn’t it, how things change? It was the opposite for so long, Andrew trying his best to connect in a way that mattered and Aaron refusing to meet him halfway.

Andrew supposes it’s better late than never to attempt some sort of bonding. Only took Andrew’s hypothetical death to get the ball rolling. If he’d known that… Andrew shakes his head. Aaron did all of this because of the fire last night? Huh. It seems like Andrew’s got a certain arsonist to thank for this strange visit. How annoying.

“Are you coming or not?” Aaron asks as he flops onto the sofa. 

“Yeah.” Andrew hops down off his bar stool and goes to grab each of them a fresh bottle of beer. And… These are his last two. Damn. He passes one to Aaron as he goes to sit down and adds alcohol to his mental grocery list.

#ty ty <3 i am feeling so much better! also i'm definitely not god's strongest solider because i am such a little whiny bitch when i'm sick #lol but ty for the love dumplin ILY ps happy late new year to u! <3 #andreil #aftg #WIP Wednesday #Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew #🕊️ #answered #tisaqslur

[blackbackedjackal]

I love how there was 0 reading comprehension with that ask.

I spent nearly $7000 ($6300 for the ER and $500 for his GP) for a /diagnosis/ only to find out Lobo has cancer that can't be treated without putting him through uneciassiary stress. I won't be pursuing any further treatments other than things to make him more comfortable while he's going through this (fluid removal, special diet, and medication).

I had saved up around 5k in our collective emergency medical fund for me AND him. That's what that money was saved for (over the course of like 12-18 months working my irl job). I still have to pay the remaining balance.

I know a lot of people have grown attached to him through seeing him on my blog, and I wanted to provide an option in case anyone wanted to donate to him. All the money that has been sent has gone directly into the fund to pay off the rest of his bills or buying him some food and treats that he likes. It's helped so much and I really don't even know how to express how grateful I am, not only for the donations, but any advice to help with his care and the time and space some of you all have provided to allow me to vent and make sense of everything. Not to mention all the kind and compassionate messages. Nothing has gone unnoticed on my end, I'm just so overwhelmed that I haven't had the energy to respond to everyone. However I will absolutely remember your kindness in turn if any of you all end up in a similar situation (which I hope no one ever does cause this hurts so much).

Anyway, again, messages like that don't bother me as it comes with such a lack of empathy and perspective that I can't relate. I easily brush off things like that as "wow someone's gonna have a bad wakeup call in the future and regret being an ass about this". But still it's like, the brazenness of it all is what gets me. Like "why didn't you use your personal medical funds to help other people in need?" Like why don't you be a more productive person and donate to those causes your damn self than sending stupid shit on tumblr?

Because I DO donate my time, resources, and finances to others in need. I don't make a huge ass deal about it, especially online, because it's something I've always done out of habit. If you wanna do good, just fucking do it. Because I truly believe the more good you put out in the world the more good comes back your way, and this whole situation is very much proving that theory.

#jackal's journal #I'm exhausted from crying #i spent an hour with him earlier massaging his legs and rubbing his belly and telling him I love him so much #only to get that mesaage a while later like #I love Lobo so much #I've always done my best to care for him and provide the best quality of life I could give him #and I feel so helpless now cause there's little more I can do now then love him and care for him #he's such a special dog and I'm not ready to say goodbye #and what's worse is I don't know when that will be now that he's sick #i just want him to be happy and comfortable until the end #and apparently I'm evil for doing so according to clown ass anon

[sataninsparkles]

I don't understand why people seem to dislike "Girl Dinner" and "Girl Math" so much.

Like, it's not about girls being unable to take care of themselves or make smart financial decisions. Girl Math is literally just about how under the capitalism small purchases that add up to a large number don't feel as expensive as one large purchase. It's the same phenomenon as being willing to pay $10 for a product but not $8 + $2 shipping. Or spending cash feeling different from spending on a credit card.

Or like why a bunch of people just started talking about how being a bimbo is just quirky sexism.

Yes, women can achieve great things, and they can be smart. We all support women's rights. But we gotta support women's wrongs as well.

After being told that you have to be smart and strong and do everything a man can do or you're a bad feminist and you're setting the movement back fifty years, the ability to just be dumb and carefree feels like taking off a bra.

Yes, women can be smart. But they can be dumb too. We can be weak and dumb and that doesn't make us "bad feminists" or "quirky sexists". It makes us human. And shaming women for their freedom to enjoy their life however they want is counterproductive. Men get to be as dumb as they want without shame, so why is it that when women are the ones who are dumb, you get offended and try to shame them into acting the way you want them to?

We can't have equality until you guys stop shaming women for every little thing they do. We can't have equality if we don't support women's wrongs.

#yes this is about that one post #I'm sick and tired of everyone acting like not knowing how to change a tire as a woman is “bad feminism” #Like if you can't understand complex historical concepts and code and do mental algebra and speak a dozen languages and lift your weight #then you're setting back the movement?? #I'm just generally sick of people saying that the expectations placed on women by society is unfair and then turning around #and making women feel bad for not being exceptional #I don't have to get 3 degrees and a doctorate and also lift cars in my free time #Everyday I understand Marina's lyrics better #You want me to write a feminist anthem? I'm happy cooking dinner in the kitchen for my husband #that lyric used to make me so angry but now I understand #Enjoying something or not being able to do something doesn't make you lesser #And you don't have to feel guilty for enjoying things #girl dinner #girl math #Some of you need to listen to Gloria's speech again and it shows

[mimleaf]

Gojo 💙

#spoilers in tags #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk 236 #today has been awful #please let nothing bad ever happen to Choso because #WHAT THE FUCK #I'm coping so hard #I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY #NOT GOJO #PLEASE COME BACK #RCT PLEASE HE DIDN'T GET HIS HEAD #literally how am I meant to read jjk if he's gone #Gege did him fucking dirty if this is it #off-screened GOATJO wtf #I actually feel sick this is so fucked up

[homeless202]

tfw when your parents don't remember that one thing they did, that completely broke you, radically shifted your path in life and severely altered both your brain chemistry and world view.

your reality crumbled around you one day bc of sth they said or did, and to them it was so insignificant and trivial it wasn't even worth remembering.

and now he's doubting and blaming himself. he's regretting making that decision based on something so irrelevant to everyone else but meant the world to him.

#fuck wanan for writing the most relatable story on earth istg #i feel sick #also let me point out the first speech bubble of the mom #<- she doesn't care about the sacrifice her son is making by simply being in that house #she doesn't care about his bruises #or the verbal abuse #all she cares about is her illusion of a 'whole happy family' #aka keeping up appearances #fuck both parents man i'm so done #let my baby go back home to the dorms now pls thx #no home #no home wanan #집이 없어 #webtoon #eunyung baek #meta

[esaari]

merry crisis

#oc #gabe #tbh i am not in a festive mood in the slightest. #which is sad because this holiday is probably my favourite #mostly for the food.. decorations.. the concept really of hanging out with people #but it's not like that anymore. this just feels like a regular saturday. so. #i'm going to have a very regular saturday and stay on my pc and maybe play a video game #my fam is not big on doing things anyways so it always feels like a sad and lonely time #i wont even get to go see my grandparents because my family got sick lol. #first xmas with one family member missing. missing grandpa always #i hope anyone who does celebrate has a lovely time #merry crisis and happy holidays my dudes #also i need to stop asking people if i should draw body hair cus theyre gonna say YES and then i gotta draw it #you may imagine whatever you want in the present.

[set-phasers-to-whump]

caretaking

prompt: "i don't feel so good", cold compress

whumpee: eddie diaz

fandom: 911

hi here's another eddie whump fic :) this one is pre-buddie and that's about all there is to know. hope you enjoy it!

They’re out shopping for birthday presents for Chris - Buck can’t believe how old this kid is getting - and Eddie is strangely silent. And not in the content-to-listen-to-Buck-talk-on-and-on kind of way. 

Something is up. 

Buck doesn’t want to pry, not yet. He trusts Eddie to tell him if something is really wrong. He might just be tired. It’s been a long week, and Buck knows that Eddie never sleeps as much as he should, anyway. 

They’re in the electronics aisle, looking at some ridiculously expensive headphones, when Eddie taps Buck’s shoulder.

“Hey, Buck?”

Buck turns his attention away from the pair of bright blue headphones he’s been eyeing. 

“Yeah?”

Eddie is looking straight at him, but also sort of through him. His eyes are glassy and unfocused and there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead that wasn’t there before. 

“I don’t feel so good.”

He sways forward a little, grabbing onto Buck’s arm to keep his balance. Buck can feel the feverish heat emanating from Eddie’s palms. 

“Okay, let’s, let’s find somewhere to sit down,” he suggests. The last thing they need is for Eddie to collapse in the middle of the store. 

But Eddie shakes his head. “I’m okay,” he mumbles, though Buck is sure Eddie knows he doesn’t believe him. “Can we…I want to go home.”

“Yeah,” Buck agrees. “I’ll get you home.”

They slowly walk out of the store, headphones forgotten. Buck lets Eddie choose how much contact they have. At first, they walk separately, though still close enough to touch. But then Eddie starts slowing down, and Buck knows what he’s asking for without him having to say it. 

He slips an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and takes on a bit of his weight. He’s really burning up. All Buck can think about is getting to his Jeep, getting Eddie off his feet and into the intense air-conditioning in the front seat. 

The walk through the parking lot is miserable. It’s the middle of summer and the air is still and hot. Eddie grabs onto Buck’s arm and leans more heavily onto him. His palms are clammy and Buck can hear him trying to breathe deeply and evenly. He’s sort of succeeding, but not really. 

In the car, Buck cranks the air-conditioning and points all the vents towards the passenger seat. Eddie leans his head back and closes his eyes, and Buck drives as fast as he dares to Eddie’s address. 

They’re only outside for a short time this go around, and being off his feet and in the cool air seems to have done Eddie a marginal amount of good. He walks inside without needing Buck’s support, though he does need Buck to unlock the door - his hands are shaking. 

Inside, Buck gets down to business immediately. 

“Go lie down,” he instructs. “Take off your clothes and don’t get under the blankets.”

He doesn’t think that last part is strictly necessary to even say aloud - no way Eddie is going to crawl beneath the covers when his hair is so damp with sweat he looks like he’s just come out of the shower - but it doesn’t hurt to be safe. 

While he waits for Eddie to get himself settled, Buck fills up a large glass of ice water, grabs a bottle of Tylenol and a thermometer, and dampens a washcloth with cool water. 

He finds Eddie in his boxers atop the covers, lying flat on his back with his eyes half-closed. 

“Sit up a little,” Buck says, and Eddie pushes himself into what could charitably be called a sitting position. 

Buck takes his temperature - 102 - and then hands him the water and the medicine. Eddie takes the pills with no resistance. He drinks the water until he nearly chokes on it. 

“How are you feeling?” Buck asks, as Eddie lies back down. 

Eddie shrugs against the pillow. “Hot,” he mumbles. 

“You’ve got a 102-degree fever,” Buck agrees. “Here.”

He carefully drapes the damp, cool washcloth onto Eddie’s forehead. For a second, Eddie stiffens up at the unexpected temperature change, but he quickly relaxes. 

“‘S nice,” he decides. 

“Do you need anything else?”

Eddie looks up at him, exhausted and miserable and open. 

“Will you stay?”

“Course I will. As long as you want.”

thanks for reading!!!

#whumptober2023 #no.13 #i don't feel so good #cold compress #911 #fic #eddie diaz #sick #fever #cared for #my writing #i say things #realized i fucked up tagging some other posts and now i have to go fix it. ough. #oh happy friday the 13th btw! (i say as i'm typing on the 6th) #best possible friday the 13th occasion though. spooky etc.

[neonganymede]

I got a couple of comments on one of my lesser known fics, and that actually made my day

#never underestimate the power of a reader comment #i'm having a really shitty day too so i absolutely needed that ;-; #i wish i had the energy to respond to the comments but i'm barely managing with work atm. i feel so sick today -_-;; #but that fic is incredibly special to me <3 i'm so happy people are still finding it and enjoying it