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#i first thought of this in like october so i had a lot to say (and i still have a lot more)
81folklore · 2 days
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i can do it with a broken heart - f1 grid
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parings: gn!driver!reader x platonic!f1!grid x ex!jacob elordi
summary: after yn and their ex break up, they carry on as best they can and no on had any idea how bad they were struggling
notes: george is in this but he does not drive for mercedes, yn does. i also used a mixture of fem and masc pictures because i couldnt decide and thought you could just imagine whatever you wish!!
notes 2: probably the longest fic ive done so far but im pretty proud of it. the time stamps above each section are semi important so i would keep an eye on them!! also i know ive been gone for so long but i do not promise ill be back. alsoooo i know i only included a bit of the grid but i kept getting distracted and then couldn’t figure out how to include everyone!!
masterlist
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march 2024
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charles oh my god i cant believe my cat is finally the pfp
i have been waiting for YEARS
max yes well you better enjoy it because it’ll change soon and you’ll be back to waiting again.
lando jesus max do you have to use punctuation???
alex be glad he doesnt use captials
oscar one thing at a time lando, we dont want to scare him
max ???
lando anyway
yn mate you ok?
yourname im fine? ur scaring me you never ask how i am
lando yeah but usually your not single
lewis oh no! you and jacob split?
yourname yeah, wasnt working anymore
charles ah im sorry, that must suck😣
yourname i mean it does but its been coming for a long time so its not surprising
fernando hello! yn what is wrong? you always use emotes!
yourname theyre emojis nando, and im fine just a bit lost
fernando do not worry, i will come and find you!
yourname no, i dont mean literally just..we were together for so long i dont really know what to do now you know?
lando i get it, you wanna play tarkov with me???
yourname cheers ill get on now
george let us know if you need anything!
may 2024
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liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 814,583 others
p✌️ was just what we needed this weekend!
thank you to everyone who came out and supported myself and the team and huge thank you to the team for working so hard all weekend⭐️
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mercedesamgf1 mega job this weekend yn👊 *liked by author*
landonorris nice to share the podium with you mate
yourusername same time next race?
user33 loved seeing you back on the podium
user2 absolutely smashing it this season
user21 more podiums please🤲 *liked by author*
user3 fourth podium of the year first p✌️*liked by author*
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*pretend it says after march i changed dates around last min*
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august 2024
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liked by lukehemmings, charles_leclerc and 1,124,642 others
did some reading, painting and writing
baked some good food and spent time with some good people, also got a cat…not bad for summer break☀️
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user66 AHHHHHH
yourusername ahhhhhhh
user26 cats name plsplspls
yourusername norman🐱
lukehemmings nice music👍
yourusername woah arent you the guy who wrote mum?!
mercedesamgf1 ready to see you back on the podium
yourusername always!!!!
user74 have you had funnnn??
yourusername yesss!! ive been doing lots of things i enjoy, basically treating every day as my birthday😋
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*was supposed to write them instead of her sorry!! was doing two stories at once and kept getting mixed up😅*
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october 2024
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liked by mercedesamgf1, gracieabrams and 1,291,638 others
p☝️ for the 3rd time this season, very very pleased
huuuuuge thank you to the team, every single one of you who worked tirelessly over the summer break and every moment since then, these have been for you⭐️
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user55 what a good season to be a yn fan *liked by author*
user6 these races have been incredible to watch, so proud
yourusername ⭐️⭐️
gracieabrams woop woop!!!!
yourusername 😝😝
user2 gracie??
user41 why have we not had any personal photo dumps yet😕😕
user88 right we miss seeing you yn!!
yourusername sorry guys😣ive been suuuper busy working on something i just honestly forgot
user41 NEW PROJECT?? WHEN?? (also pls dont feel bad we love u)
yourusername soon!! (and i love u guys too)
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november 2024
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liked by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 3,689,921 others
tagged: taylorswift
i cannot believe i get to say this, but my new friend taylor just released a new album and i was able to write a song on the album
im honestly not sure how this came about but i had so much fun writing this and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in a way ive never done before
i poured my life and soul into this song and im so glad taylor is the one who is singing it and really bought it to life
send some love to my friend and go and stream THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (most importantly i can do it with a broken heart😉)
comments have been limited
taylorswift thank you for trusting me with this song, so much love🤍
yourusername NO THANK YOU!!! i will be forever grateful⭐️⭐️
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yourusername added to their story
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seen by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 729,282 others
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charles i feel completely betrayed yn
fernando oh no😟! what did yn do?
charles THEY DIDNT TELL ME THEY WERE WRITING A SONG??
AND WITH TAYLOR SWIFT HOW COULD YOU☹️☹️
yourname sorry charles, surprise?!
charles ill forgive you because its a good song
yourname thank you my life just got infinitely better!
yuki very good song yn! has been on repeat☺️
yourname thanks yuki, glad you like it!!
lando I LOVE IT TOO
but seriously are you ok?!
yourname yeahhh im better now
was just a lot to navigate
lewis glad you found an outlet! but remember you can always talk to any of us
yourname i know and i appreciate it, i really do
alex yn was that twitter thread right?
yourname mate youre going to have to elaborate
alex user56tweetlink
yourname oh pretty much yeah
some things were changed with taylor but not much
fernando just listened to the song yn! very nice👍well done!
yourname thank uu
max good song yn!
now
lando can you please tell me what you meant on your twitch stream!
oscar max is kind of scary
max dont make me talk about that interview next oscar!
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rylie-m · 3 days
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redemption
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Summary: In which Y/N Thomas is left to raise her and Rafe Cameron’s baby after he refuses to take responsibility for it. He shows up after two years, ready to redeem himself, but is it too late?
Chapter 1:
5 years ago - September 2nd
“Are you by any chance from the Outer Banks?” you ask the boy sitting next to you in your freshman year English class. “I am, why?” He states, with a very charming smile. “You look familiar. Do you know Topper Thornton?” He nods and chuckles slightly, “I do.” “Topper’s my cousin,” you smile softly at the thought of the younger boy who you loved like a little brother. “Yeah?” He asks, “Where are you from?” You smile and flip to a page in your notebook, “Charleston, but I’ve visited the Outer Banks a lot to see Topper and the rest of my family.” 
5 years ago - September 5th
The party you’re at is already packed, the smell of weed and alcohol is in the air, and the noise is enough to give you a headache already. As you and your friend, Ella, start to walk up the stairs to the frat house  you hear, “Hey! Y/N, right?” 
It’s Rafe. 
Unfortunately (for you) charming, extremely put together, and just bad enough to get you in trouble. That’s how Ella described him when you asked about him. And that’s the impression you got from his instagram. 
“Yeah, you’re Rafe, right?” He smirks and nods while walking over to you, abandoning his friends. Ella sighs behind you and shakes her head subtly. “Hi Ella,” Rafe smiles, obnoxiously. “Hey, Cameron.”  Ella gives Rafe an unimpressed look, “Y/N and I are busy. Good to see you.” She grabs your arm and drags you into the frat house, looking for her boyfriend. 
4 years ago - October 1st 
Ella finally picks up the phone and you immediately squeal into it. “Rafe asked me out! Finally!” You giggle and you hear Ella chuckle softly on the other side of the phone, “Took him long enough, I’m happy for you. Tell me all about it.” You both can hear each other’s smiles on the other side of the phone. 
3 years ago - August 22nd 
You and Rafe are laying in his bed, after getting back from a week-long visit to the Outer Banks, where you had met his family, who undoubtedly loved you, for the first time. Even his father, who clearly faked his support and affection for his son the whole week, this was easy to tell only because Rafe had told you all about him and his father while driving there, as a warning for you, just in case. 
“I love you,” He says, smiling into your stomach as you run your fingers through his hair. “Don’t see a future without you in it.” He mumbles and you smile, probably the widest you’ve ever smiled. “I love you, can’t wait to be with you forever and deal with the wonderful in-laws.” You laugh, teasingly and he chuckles, half out of embarrassment and half out of humor. Rafe had watched you immediately get along with his whole family and after telling you about his struggles with his family, he thought that you would think he was the problem, but you understood his point of view and believed him wholeheartedly.
3 years ago - August 23rd 
“Rafe, I’m pregnant. That’s why I’ve been sick. Went to the doctor’s today.” You stated, shaking from nerves and speaking in short sentences to make sure that he got point. Rafe stares at you, unmoving. His eyes are colder and emptier than you’ve ever seen them. It’s the way his father looks at him. “I don’t- I don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, Rafe.” You stutter, trying to get him to say anything, do anything. Anything but what he’s doing right now. He quietly stands up from his bed and towers over you, “I’m sorry.” He says, looking away. “You know I can’t do that right now.” Your eyes widen, “Do what? Take care of a child? And I can? Alone?” He sighs and opens his door, “I’m sorry.” He says coldly, waiting for you to leave. Your eyes look at the door and immediately water. “What happened to being excited for the future? You never meant that, did you? Rafe, I’m twenty. I can’t do this alone!” You hope to get to him somehow, but you can see his walls are already built taller than you could ever break down. After taking one last look at him, you walk out of his room, for the last time. Preparing to raise a baby alone. 
2 years ago - April 23rd 
“You would have a baby on Earth Day.” Sarah laughs, while walking in the room. You smile at her, and the joke. “He’s already a little hippie.” Wheezie says from behind her, while holding flowers. “Hi you two,” You smile and give them weak hugs from your spot on your bed. After you let them go, they immediately swarm the cot that your newborn baby is laying in, cooing over him instantly. Sarah looks at you, “What name did you decide on?” 
“Crew Joseph Thomas.” You say, with a weak smile. They both coo in awe at him and his name quietly. You hear Wheezie mumble something about using Rafe’s middle name to Sarah, who quickly shushes her. 
A few hours later, Wheezie leaves to go get some food, leaving just you and Sarah in the room. “Did you tell him?” She asks, and you shake your head. “He said he couldn’t do it. I’m respecting that. I don’t think he should be in and out of Crew’s life. He’s either completely in or completely out.” You shrug, watching Crew sleep in his aunt Sarah’s arms. Wheezie walks in, frantically, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” You and Sarah look up, confused. “What?” You say, furrowing your brows. “He’s here.” You and Sarah both look at each other, and your brain goes completely numb. “How did he find out?” Sarah asks, and Wheezie shakes her head, shrugging, “Maybe Rose told him, or dad? But I think he saw me.” She looks at you, apologetically, “I’m so sorry.” You sigh, “It’s alright, Wheeze. It’s not your fault. He was gonna find out at some point, better here than anywhere else, I guess.” 
After a few minutes of sitting in silence, there is a knock on the door. Sarah and Wheezie look at you, and you nod. Sarah hands Crew off to you and grabs Wheezie to sit outside. She opens the door and rolls her eyes at Rafe, pushing her and Wheezie past him and into the hallway. He walks in with his hands in his jeans pocket, trying to shrink in on himself. Maybe if he did, he wouldn’t be in a hospital room with his ex-girlfriend and their baby. He sniffs, “Hey.” You watch him walk across the room and stand at your feet, awkwardly. “Hi Rafe.” You say, quietly, “His name is Crew Joseph," watching Rafe eye Crew in your arms. “Joseph?” He asks, his eyes widening slightly and you nod. “Cameron?” He asks, finally making eye contact with you. You look at him and shake your head slowly, “Thomas. Thought it would be easier while he grows up.” He deflates slightly, but nods, “Yeah, no, makes sense.” 
There’s a moment of silence before you look down at Crew, who is now wide awake, “Do you want to hold him?” You ask quietly, not wanting to startle Rafe even further. You did feel slightly bad for him, you had all of your pregnancy to prepare for this moment, but Rafe is just now showing up and seeing his baby, without seeing the birth, or your pregnancy stomach. He looks up at you, and his lips separate, before closing back quickly. “You don’t hav-” “Yes, ple-” You both speak at the same time. He chuckles softly, “I do, I want to hold him.” 
After Rafe gets settled on the bed, at your feet, you pass Crew to him. Crew whines softly, and Rafe looks up at you, worried. You smile at him, reassuring him, “He’s fine. He’s just getting settled.” Rafe nods, trying to play it off, “Right, I remember Wheezie at this age.” He says, quietly. You smile softly at him, this is your Rafe. Well, not anymore, but he was. This is who you knew, not the cold, angry boy who threw you out of his room when you told him. He speaks up, “I can’t stick around. You know I can’t. I’m sorry.” He stares at Crew, staring up at Rafe from his place in his father’s protective arms. You nod, you expected this, you knew he wouldn’t stick around, you’ve prepared for it. “I think you should know that we’re moving back to Charleston after I graduate.” You say, just because he doesn’t want to be involved, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t know where his son is. 
After an hour of sitting with Crew and Rafe in peaceful silence, Rafe has to leave. With his hand on the doorknob, he turns to look at you, “I’ll be in the Outer Banks after this year. If you need anything, please let me know.” He says, quietly. You nod, “Rafe.” He looks up at you, “He’ll grow up knowing who you are. He’ll know who is dad is, but I won’t say why you couldn’t be here.” He blinks rapidly and nods, before closing the door. 
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jeannereames · 2 days
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And Alexander Wept for Hephaistion....
If you don’t mind, I wanted to ask, you said something along the lines of: by the time Alexander was coming closer to his death, he had recovered from the grief of Hephaistion’s death (if I’m remembering this correctly; I’m so sorry I have a fuzzy memory) how long do you think he mourned Hephaistion?
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This was an ask via message, so putting it here to reply publicly, as it may be of interest to others.
First, however, I want to mention a pair of articles I wrote many years ago now, but which are still valid:
“The Mourning of Alexander the Great,” Syllecta Classica 12 (2001), 98-145.
“Some New Thoughts on the Death of Alexander the Great,” with Eugene N. Borza (lead author), The Ancient World 31.1 (2000), 1-9. (I wrote the last 1/3 of it.)
The first, in particular, is an in-depth analysis of Alexander’s behavior after Hephaistion died. I’m still rather proud of it, as it brings together two quite diverse fields: bereavement + Alexander studies. If I had a critique for it now, it’s that I didn’t analyze the stories inherent in the primary sources, but that also wasn’t my intention in writing it. I specifically say that I do not plan to pick apart which reports of Alexander’s behavior are likely authentic and which aren’t. My goal was to evaluate all of them in terms of possible evidence of pathological bereavement, according to the (then) DSM III-R (et al.).
TL;DR version of the article: Alexander’s mourning was NORMAL and followed recognized patterns, if one allows for the loss of someone extremely close, a spouse/similar.
Yes, there were complicating factors. BUT he did not go crazy with grief.
Unfortunately, this article is far less known than the “An Atypical Affair” article on Alexander and Hephaistion’s relationship. That’s too bad, as the “His grieving was extreme!” persists among even some of my colleagues, never mind those outside the field of Macedoniasts. (It’s also admittedly possible that they were simply unconvinced by my arguments, but in that case, one usually cites and says so.)
If I could put a giant blinking neon light on one of my earlier articles to get it more attention, that would be the one I’d point to.
The second article—or my 1/3rd of it anyway—deals with the possible effects of deep mourning on the immune system of adult males of Alexander’s age group. Yes, according to some limited research, it does have an impact that increases susceptibility to infectious disease. Add his poor overall physical health after all those battles (and Macedonian-style symposial drinking), and he was just too spent to fight off the typhoid or malaria or whatever fever disease got him.
Ergo, he died roughly 8 months after Hephaistion. We don’t have a date for the latter’s death, but sometime in October or November of 324 BCE is the window. Alexander died June 10th, 323 … or possibly a day or so later if he were in a paralysis too deep for his breathing to be ascertained. (As per Gene’s part of the article.)
The dating is important, as it affects where he (probably) was in his mourning process.
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Mourning follows a somewhat predictable pattern, and one of the biggest mistakes made by those unfamiliar with human mourning is to underestimate (often by a lot) just how long mourning takes … even perfectly normal, healthy mourning.
For a major loss, main mourning takes up to a year. No joke. That’s why bereavement counselors try to keep the bereaved from making any permanent decisions within that year. They’re still very much being buffeted by the winds of grief, even if they want to pretend they aren’t. But even after the year anniversary—and marking it with some sort of formal ceremony helps!*—mourning continues off-and-on (sometimes really intense for a few hours or even a few days) for up to 5 years. Again, no joke. Some bereavement studies experts don’t really consider a person truly recovered (note I never say “over it”) for as long as 10 years.
Additionally, ANY deep loss triggers mourning; it doesn’t have to be death. A divorce will result in mourning, even if the people in the marriage wanted to divorce. It’s still a “death” of sorts. Moving some distance away, graduation, and retirement can all set off mourning. This surprises people, that mourning can attach even to “happy” circumstances. Anything that includes an ending will set off mourning, albeit it may not be that intense.
But THE #1 and #2 most devastating losses are the loss of a child and the loss of a spouse/spouse-like figure. Period.
So, a slight correction to the question, I didn’t say he’d recovered from his mourning, but that he was beginning to emerge from the deepest parts of mourning.
What do I mean by that? There are (roughly) 3(-4) major phases of mourning. The speed at which we pass through these varies, dependent on the type of death and our closeness to the deceased. (The first article goes into that in more depth.)
Shock phase, which is typically anywhere from a few days to about 2 weeks.
Deep mourning phase, where the bereaved must come to terms with the loss. The bereaved cycles through a series of stages (not the best term) and, more importantly, struggles with certain TASKS of mourning (as per Worden). Again, the length of this phase can vary, but for serious losses, it can take up to 8-9 months, with the worst of it usually hitting 3-6 months. There is an intense focus on the deceased and the bereaved person may want little to do with new people and vacillate between wanting to talk a lot about the deceased or wanting to give away all their stuff because it’s too painful. Anger, bargaining, depression, self-blame … all are typical of this phase. It’s INTENSE. It really does take months, and people routinely underestimate it.
Re-emergent phase, where the bereaved begins to take an interest again in the external world, may make new friends and new plans that don’t involve the deceased. The deceased is far, far from forgotten, but the bereaved is learning to live without the dead person.
Continued bereavement would be a fourth phase past the one-year anniversary, where the bereaved will still experience grief, sometimes very intense when triggered by a particular memory, a birthday, or anniversaries. But the overall “worst” part of mourning is past.
Finally, especially in the deepest part of mourning, the depression felt by the bereaved is on par with clinical depression, but (except for rare cases) the bereaved absolutely should not take or be prescribed antidepressants as these interrupt the mourning process.
Yes, it hurts like hell but one can only go through, not over, around, or under. Through.
In some cases, however, bereavement becomes “complicated,” resulting in what’s referred to as pathological bereavement, by which I mean only not normal (I wouldn’t even say abnormal). Sudden death (as with Hephaistion) IS one factor that can complicate mourning, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to full-blown pathological grief. In the article, I evaluate all Alexander’s listed behaviors and explain why my final conclusion is that his bereavement was sharp, but not pathological.
Alexander’s behavior in the last few months showed aspects of the third phase. He was planning (or probably returning to planning) his next campaign and thinking about improvements to the city of Babylon apparently with the intention of making it his eastern capital. Yes, he was also planning Hephaistion’s funeral, but the other two things were new and show re-engagement.
So Alexander’s mourning had not ended before he died himself, only shifted. Even if he’d lived another 5 years, he’d still have experienced bereavement off and on.
Remember, grieving takes TIME. More time than you expect.
If you know someone going through grief, especially for a family member, beloved, or very close friend … give them space. Let them cry. Encourage them to talk about the lost person if they want to, but don’t force it if they don’t want to. Don’t argue with their theology/beliefs about death or their gallows humor, but also don’t shove your theology/beliefs about death, or your gallows humor, onto them. Read the room.
MOST OF ALL, JUST BE PRESENT. It matters less what you say than that you’re there. They may not even remember what you say later; they will remember you showed up.
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* In fact, world cultures that have traditional, one-year anniversary ceremonies routinely show better outcomes for mourning individuals.
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buttercupart · 8 months
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depending on when you headcanon the war/banishment of monsters in UT to have happened theres a prrrretty good chance none of them know what a gregorian calendar is nor the notation of it
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neverendingford · 4 months
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#tag talk#I made three new earrings. I've wanted to turn pennies into earrings for a while and I bought a small grinder wheel attachment last month#and I finally felt like making them. two are a silver wire pair for my sister and one is a blackened wire single for me#I refuse to give presents exactly on Christmas but I'm going down there because I care about my sister even if I don't about my parents#and she cares a lot about Christmas so I'm glad I made her something. she's one of the only people I feel comfortable giving gifts to tbh#anyway I'm not posting pictures because I don't feel like it and idk. I don't feel like posting on tumblr for real.#but I still wanna say the words into the void yaknow?#first new earring design I've made since march/april since my lantern earring#I've had even more people asking whether I sell them and like. no I don't. I don't want to make them for people I don't know or care about#I'm not about to mass produce my passion projects that help me express my identity. that would be honestly really fucked up.#like. yeah this lantern design I thought of while sitting next to a nice trans girl who made me feel okay to be myself.#let me just make fifty of it. this earring that I created at my point of recovering from almost bleeding to death. let me mass produce it#this shell earring that I made sitting with my boyfriend in the park on a windy october day. let me make it until I hate it.#this spiral shell earring that I made from a shell my cousin found while we wandered the wash the year he stayed for three whole months#no. everything is memories. everything is a part of me. everything I make because I love it. if I don't love it I throw it away.#I'm not going to mass produce these. I'm not going to sell them online for fucking... for fucking money.#like.. what should I do? be like “yeah I sat down and made some art for an hour. pay me some cash for it. that feels disgusting to me.#anyway. I made some new earrings and I'm glad because now I've got a good gift for a sibling that genuinely cares. and also for myself#cause I was getting a bit bored of the earrings I've got. I needed a new one for a while
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smutoperator · 2 months
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Versace On The Floor
Ning Yizhuo (Ningning) x Male Reader
Tags: anal, armpit licking, ball throating, creampie, crying, fashion, feet worship/footjob, (lots of) floor sex, mirror fucking, mouth gag, photoshoot, prone bone, rough but romantic, (lots of) screaming, spitting, throatpie, water play
Word count: 6569.
Shanghai, China, October 18th, 2023
Versace had been searching for a new ambassador for the very important East Asia market. They already had their pick set in mind: a short girl from Harbin, China, going by the name of Ning Yizhuo, also known by her cute stage name of Ningning. They had already been scouting her for a few months and even sent her some of the brand's clothes and accessories for her to test. It truly seemed like a perfect fit, but they needed a few extra tests.
Ningning was invited to Versace's icon dinner, taking place in Shanghai. They were aware of her potential and wanted to make sure she would sign her contract in her home country of China over her workplace in Korea. But before she was going to attend the dinner, they told her she had a photoshoot to make.
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"Perfect, amazing pose." You were the photographer for Ningning's photoshoot. Her ability to model truly impressed you. Truth be told, while Ningning was only a few days away from turning 21, she had a long baggage of training and had proven to be a true ace. There was no art she wasn't unable to craft, and modeling seemed pretty easy for Harbin's ice princess.
Ningning was so stunning, you felt like your pics weren't doing her beauty justice. The lens of the camera just couldn't capture how beautiful she was. Regardless, the Versace team supervising the photoshoot seemed to have largely approved your pics, even though you felt a bit underwhelmed and thought you could do much better.
The photoshoot was successfully wrapped up, but there were still a few hours before her dinner was going to start. The rest of the Versace staff left, but they instructed you to stay alone with her, giving you instructions on what to do to Ningning next. You then communicated it to her: "They want to make you a global ambassador, but they told me you need to pass some tests before becoming one."
"What kind of tests?" Ningning asked, a little confused but willing to grab such a unique opportunity. "They are, let's say, a little naughty," you replied, still a little embarrassed and not believing the task they gave you. "Naughty? What kind of naughty?" she asked.
"Sit, and I will show you," you told her. Ningning obliged, sitting on the chair where you had just taken pictures of her. Then you gave her the command, "But this time, instead of crossing your legs, I'll need you to spread them." "Ok," Ningning replied, still a little embarrassed as well.
You dove under Ningning's stunning Versace black dress, pulling her panties to the side and unveiling her butterfly-shaped pussy. "What are you doing?" she says, shocked. "It's part of the test; just stay calm," you reply. Ningning feels a bit wierded out at first with your tongue licking her folds, which are just as pretty as the rest of her body, but slowly eases up as you continue to move under her dress and touch her thighs.
"Get up, take your panties off, and go to the mirror," you tell Ningning, who obliges. You place a gag in her little mouth as Ningning faces the mirror. "Versace's next Global Ambassador is right here; she only needs to pass this test and be a good girl to me," you tease her, giving Ningning a massage right at her boob area with her dress still on. "You're gonna need new makeup for the dinner; this one is going to be ruined soon," you threaten her. Ningning looks a little scared but also very excited, wondering what is coming next.
You reach under Ningning's dress and start fingering her pussy nice and slowly. Even with the gag in her mouth, you can still hear her moaning nasally. "Shhhh," you ask her not to moan that much as your right hand now pinches her tits while the left one remains working on Ningning's pussy. "Your moans are so classy, I think you're a perfect fit for the brand," you tell Ningning as you put extra heat in her pussy, making her knee bend a little.
You pinch Ningning's pussy lips. "They look like wings from a butterfly," you say as you spread them out, and they get a lot of your attention. You then lift Ningning's arms up and turn her around, looking at her perfect doll face as you start licking her perfect and clean armpits. Every inch of her body is perfect, indeed. You give Ningning's right armpit some hard licks. "Oh shit," she says under the mouth gag as you search towards her most sensitive zones.
You never take your attention out of Ningning's pussy, fingering it harder, which makes her moan louder. "You look like such a great fuckdoll," you tell her as you now move to her left armpit, with a pair of fingers now penetrating inside her pussy. You aggressively lick her pits before lowering her bra straps, unveling Ningning's soft and ripe tits, which you promptly suck like a baby. 
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHH~," Ningning lets out many high note moans as you move fast between her pair of boobs while putting lots of heat inside her pussy, as you know, with three fingers penetrating her vagina, leading her to scream endlessly. As you finish the finger-fucking session, Ningning rests her head against the mirror, drained by your overstimulation. You take your hands out of her pussy and let her juices pour right into her mouth, but only teasing her as it's still covered by the gag. Instead, you put your hand inside your own mouth and taste them, following it with a torrid kiss on Ningning's covered mouth.
"Whore, whore," you keep repeating to Ningning as you spit on her tits and slowly move down her body, lifting her dress and ducking your head under her pussy, licking it and sniffing it as hard as you can. She smells really good; to a point, it sends you to the heavens. Your sloppy tongue spits all over her folds as Ningning lowers her head to watch you eat her out from up top. "That clit is so fucking hard already," you tell her, as queefing noises come out of her pussy.
You spit on Ningning's pussy as you finish your cunt-eating session, turning her around and pinning her against the mirror, already with a new target in sight as you start tonguing her asshole. Just like with her pussy, you're impressed by its cleanliness. Class, etiquette, and hygiene—Ningning seems to indeed check all the boxes for Versace. Your mouth feasts on Ningning's anus as she continues to moan like a whore, filling the mirror with the steam of her breath.
Ningning's asshole is so tight, tastes so good, and has such a great smell that it makes you go feral. You bark like a dog as you move your tongue up and down her anal folds. Her moans are all you need to know why she's so well regarded as a vocalist, as they are loud, stable, and hit some of the hardest notes. "Whoa," Ningning says as you lift her little body up, grabbing her by the legs and placing her high heels in your thighs as you continue to eat her ass while she clings to the mirror to not fall down.
But as things continue to go on, Ningning takes on a more active role. Sensing how much you like her ass, she starts bouncing it in the air while you tongue it. You quickly try to restablish your dominance, pinning Ningning back while she reaches her hand to now be the one caressing your ass. You sniff her black hair, and just like everything else in her, it smells amazing. "Good girl, I want to hear your beautiful voice," you tell her, taking the gag out of her mouth. Ningning lets out a radiant smile as soon as you do it.
You tongue-kiss Ningning, and she quickly answers, turning her head to face you and interlocking both your lips. You grab her neck a bit, but let her take the initiative as she blows you away with how good of a kisser she is. Is there anything this girl can't do?. "I can't wait to fuck the shit out of you," you whisper in her ear between more and more torrid kisses. You choke Ningning as she fills the mirror with fog from her breath. "Look at this whore," you tell her. "Perfect to get pounded until she gets her global ambassador title," you continue as you spit on the mirror, leading Ningning to put her tongue out and lick it immediately. More kisses ensue. Good god, just Ningning's tongue is already sending shockwaves all over your body. You wonder what's going to happen when you actually start fucking her.
Your belt gets unhooked in a snap, and your urge to have Ningning, please, takes your already throbbing cock to the next level. You tie your belt to Ningning's neck and tell her, "You're my pet now.". "Yes, be my owner, and I'll be your fucking bitch," she says. "Then get on your knees," you reply as you take your pants off, and your hard cock immediately springs out of them. Ningning doesn't need any commands, as she already starts licking the sides of your shaft before inserting that throbbing meat in her mouth.
Ningning can't stop moaning even while sucking cock, as she also imprints her long nails all over your crotch. You respond by choking her a little bit more with your belt. Ningning pins her head against the mirror and starts sucking you off with her hands behind her back. She was truly like those A+ students who can ace any evaluation you throw at them. "You like it?" you asked her. "Yes, I fucking love it; it's so meaty and tastes so fucking good," she replied.
"Open your mouth; let me see how much you love it," you ask Ningning, who quickly follows. At first, you barely put half of your shaft in before shoving your full length inside Ningning's tiny gloryhole. "This one will go so deep I'll make you cry," you bragged, but Ningning resisted, instead engulfing your whole sword down her throat. You kept forcing it, but it took a long time before she finally gagged.
"So that's how I assume you already do your throat training," you mocked her. "I wanna see you cry like a whore," you kept going, but Ningning was insanely strong. You knew you needed much more to break the ice princess than shoving a girthy microphone down her throat. You sloppily fucked Ningning's face to get your cock wetter, but she barely bulged except for a couple gags. Even after pressing your whole weight against her face and shoving your balls inside her mouth as well, she still stayed put against your attacks. Ningning was a good fuckdoll, but she was no pushover.
"Bite me," you asked Ningning, who left a huge mark in your left hand with her teeth. Ningning barked as she bit you as hard as she could, like an untamed pet who doesn't have any owners. Her face was that of a girl who would do anything to become the next Versace girl, and you knew it. You had to slap her in the face to prevent your order from backfiring and have her leave your fingers bleeding.
"So now you're crying," you told Ningning as you saw tears flow down her eyes following a few slaps you gave her doll-esque face. "Should have done it earlier," you reprimanded her as you grabbed her by the neck and sat on top of her before switching back to romantic kisses and giving her tits a little caressing. That didn't last long, though, as you grabbed Ningning by the hair and dragged her down the floor on her knees like your pet, making her fall down. As soon as she did, you spanked her ass. "Bad whore," you said. "You need to be punished.".
You placed your fingers on both of Ningning's bottom holes, as your index and middle fingers penetrated her pussy while your thumb penetrated her asshole. "You know what? There is something much better to do," you say as you put your cock on Ningning's pussy in one go. "AHHHHHHH. AHHHHHH. AHHHHH," she immediately screams as you pin her body to the floor, going rough on her but at the same time very passionate, as you kiss Ningning to the rhythm of your pumps inside her vagina.
"Holy shit, you fuck my pussy so good, oh God," Ningning praises you. But truth be told, she's the one who deserves all the praise. You just go hard because you know she can take it, and holy shit she does it like a pro. You thurst full speed in and out of it, and Ningning loves every second of it, but especially every inch of it stratching her out. As you finish the first round of fucking her beautiful butterfly pussy, you give her ass a tap and leave her lying on the floor, staring at her sexy fuckholes.
Ningning gets up and crawls in your direction. The hard floor is nothing for someone who is always banging those strong knees on dance practices every day. You sit on the floor as well, as she starts taking your shoes off. As soon as she does, you nearly kick her in the face; her reflexes save her from it. In fact, you wanted to make her sniff your dirty socks as punishment, and soon enough, she did. You go even further, shoving your toes into Ningning's whore mouth. "I want to see if you can sing with those now," you laugh.
As Ningning takes your sock off, she ends up falling for your trap, with you tying them around her mouth. "Shut the fuck off and obey your master," you say as you kiss her with your socks in her mouth, before spitting on her face and then putting the other sock inside her hole. "Are you my pet?" you ask. Ningning just nods positively. You continue to tie her up, as now you fully wrap your belt around her neck.
You plow Ningning's pussy from behind as she tries to scream even with her mouth completely shut off. Her nipples scrape the floor as they bounce each time you pound her. "Shut up, little cunt," you tell her as you dive her head to the floor. But Ningning is incapable of obeying. Her mouth was born to sing, and she does it a lot, even while getting stretched out by a big, meaty cock while pinned to the floor. "Fucking whore, fucking whore," you repeat as you remove one of the socks and now try to fuck her mouth with the other sock still inside it, stretching Ningning's tight singing hole to the maximum.
As you free Ningning's mouth, you keep spitting on her. This time, you try to tame her by shoving your balls in her mouth, but she takes it with no issue, wrapping her tongue all over them. "If you like to use that tongue so much than eat my asshole," you order to her. Ningning dives her mouth into your dirty anus as you masturbate yourself watching her lick it clean. " Finally acting like a good whore, cleaning your photographer's asshole," you "praise" her.
You lock Ningning's head around your neck, making her sniff your butthole even harder. Despite your sweatiness and dirtiness, she keeps it cool and continues to lick it. You try to make it harder on her as you jiggle your ass all over her face. "Now you're the dirty whore I wanted," you say, but that only leads to Ningning sticking her tongue even deeper in your anus.
You get up and grab her hair once again, dragging your little pet towards the chair where Ningning once sat like a queen on her throne. This time, however, she kneels on it with her ass up as you spank her again. You lick her butthole as Ningning spreads her legs a little on the chair. "FUUUUUCK," she moans as you stick your middle finger up her tight butthole. While you may try to treat Ningning like a useless whore, the truth is that you in fact worship her, as you literally turn into her ass kisser, giving her tiny little ring kiss after kiss and praising its tightness.
"Let me get in there," you say as your finger and mouth are soon replaced by something much bigger as you grab Ningning's cheeks and start fucking her ass. She moans like she usually does, even better now with no restraints in her mouth. Her anus is so tight that after a few pumps, you have to pull it out and then struggle to come back as you keep missing it. Ningning has to come to your aid as she lifts her left leg to give you an easy entrance to her asshole.
Ningning feels the burn as you push deeper into her tiny bumhole, but her eyes are full of lust, and she keeps telling you to push harder. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight in there," you tell her as she moans close to your face. You let Ningning close her legs and wrap your cock like a hot dog sausage as she moves her hips up and down your shaft for you to watch before you surprise her with the deepest insertion yet.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD,"  Ningning screams to the top of your lungs. This is truly the first time you see her voice crack. You punish her by going even deeper and giving her already red face an extra spank, as she starts begging for God at each pump you give deep inside her asshole. "FUCKKKKKKK. AHHHHHHH. YESSS!" she continues to scream. She's been told to be like this, always expressing her emotions through her voice.
"Oh shit, the way you scream is so sexy," you tell her, pushing her head closer to yours as you keep stretching her ass. Ningning just can't stop. At this point, you are just relieved that you decided to have the photoshoot in a more isolated building, because otherwise thousands of people would hear her screaming.
"I fucking love you; I want to fuck you until you lose your voice," you tell Ningning as you keep going harder and harder in her butthole. "Scream for me, you fucking bitch," you tell her as you spank her ass five consecutive times. Ningning instead opts for her sexy moans before she has to cling onto the chair as you keep shaking it left and right.
"Bad girl," you tell Ningning as you put her on her knees. She jiggles her ass and masturbates your pole before you insert it back deep in her hole, moaning a lot in between. "Don't move," you demand as you spank her now completely red butt, and she rests her head on the top of the chair. "Say you're my toy," you demand of her. "I'm your toy; I'm your toy," she repeats using her aegyo voice. "Then feel that cock," you tell her, grabbing her ass and pumping inside Ningning's anus slowly and deeply. You hit the perfect spots as she beautifully moans.
You grab Ningning by the belt around her neck, treating her like she is your dog. Her face is now redder than her cheeks as she closes her eyes. "Yes, treat me like your toy. AH. AH. AH. FUCKKKKKKK," she keeps saying. "Let me see that face." You push her closer to you as Ningning continues to scream. "Shhhhhh," you tell her, but she ignores your claims for silence, screaming even harder each time you hit deep in her asshole.
You had enough of Ningning screaming and put your belt on her mouth. To no avail. You can only muffle it, but Ningning keeps yelling as if she were at a singing competition. "AHHHHHHHHHH," she yells. You grab Ningning by her arm and keep fucking her hard in the ass; she can't stop screaming. Her legs tremble as she puts her right one in the air, barely able to hold herself with the hard speed of your poundings.
Ningning looks tired as you remove the belt from her mouth. But you are far from done, pushing her little body back to the floor. "Ride me," you demand as you push Ningning back up and sit on the chair where you just obliterated her. "YES. YES. YES!" she screams as she spreads her legs, and you put your cock back in her ass and the belt back in her mouth, trying to resist as you push your big meat up her butthole. "FUCK. Oh God!" she screams, even if it's muffled by the belt.
You free Ningning from the belt as she gets her eyes destroyed, taking the belt off again. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!" she instantly screams as you do it. Her little body is very easy to place under a full Nelson, as her legs are now spread at a 120-degree angle, and your arms lock her as you grab Ningning by her head. Ningning has to start fingering herself as you quickly move into stimulating her tits, but never lifting the gas off and fucking her ass every single time.
You have to slow down not to cum as you move an already tired Ningning into the table to the side of the chair, still with your prick inside her ass. She screams as her face stares at the floor while you destroy her tiny hole and mount on top of her as if she were just a useless cow. You have to bring the other chair to rest her head on, as she keeps yelling. Ningning's face turns red after so much screaming, but you shut it once again, this time with her mouth. She is a mess that can only hope that all this rough session is enough for her to become the next Versace girl as you destroy her asshole in a rough prone bone.
"DAMN FUCK!" Ningning screams as you show no mercy towards her, having to push her head against the chair to endure the endless fucking. She pants hard, and her face is now redder than a tomato as your roughness gives way to some passionate kisses. "You're the best girl I've ever fucked," you gently tell her as you put your thumb in her mouth and fully top her, your cock still buried deep in her ass. Ningning never looked so sore, but she also loves how intensely you fuck her.
After a little rest, you come full force to pound her tight ass, this time stomping all over her little doll head. Her butt gets spanked, her tits press against the chair, and she's completely pinned like a submissive whore. "AHHHHHHH FUCK!" she screams once again as you replace your fast thrusts and move to slow but very deep hits inside her butthole, inserting your thick cock balls deep inside her.
"Stay there," you tell Ningning as your rough session ends. She moans and pants as her body stays on the chair. Your spanks turned her fully red, and her legs barely moved. You keep looking at her, pondering your next move, until you decide to once again grab her by the hair. You really like how good it looks, despite how messy she is right now. You're kind and give her some water to drink before feeding her your cock, making a splash inside her mouth. You keep this weird mix of water and sausage, giving Ningning a little more as a reward for sucking it good, despite having her mouth already full.
Ningning bursts the water on your cock as you insert it deep in her throat. Despite all the rough pounding, she can still take a big one in her mouth with ease. Maybe you just haven't broken that doll enough. As you finally empty the bottle and fuck her face a couple times, you two now get on your knees and passionately kiss each other on the floor.
You put your washed cock back on Ningning's tight cunt, letting her do the riding this time. Ningning doesn't look as strong as before, as her bounces initially only get half of your length inside her pussy, but she quickly adjusts to take it deeper despite her very sore hole up top that winks every time she gets to the base of your shaft. You give her butt a little slap, and she answers, increasing the pace. Her screams are now fully back, and despite her tiredness, she still manages not to crack.
"Good girl," you praise Ningning's ride as she slides straight down your pole, then tilts her body down to let you spank her even further. The redder you turn her snowy skin, the better. "I want you to cum all over that cock," you tell her as she steadily bounces on it. After a few screams, Ningning stops and sits with your shaft fully inside her, letting out her orgasmic moans as her pussy clenches all over your meat. Ningning goes insane, making the chair move a lot as she twists and turns while riding your cock.
You give Ningning very passionate kisses and grab her by the waist as she gets closer to you. "I love you, I love you," she says, never stopping her bounce. "Then cum all over me," you demand of her, who screams as her pussy creams your cock with juices. You rest your back on the chair as Ningning is now in a straight position, bouncing on your dick, while you grab her by the belt wrapped around her neck. "Keep going; ride me like a little toy," you tell her. Ningning beautifully moves up and down your shaft as you grab her waist.
You make it harder on Ningning, spanking every inch of her body like she's just a ragdoll. Belly. Pussy. Face. Nothing can escape your heavy hands. But your favorite target are her bouncy tits. "Oh yes," she screams as you land a heavy hit on her boobs before groping them. "Oh my God, what a fucking whore!" you say to her. Ningning moans as you move close to her to give her more kisses. Every time you treat her rough, you compensate, showing how much you love her. And she knows, wrapping her arms around you like a cute girl who only wants to feel loved.
Without ever leaving her pussy, you move the kissing session elsewhere by pushing Ningning back to where she belongs, the cold, hard floor. You top her on a torrid missionary, giving her pussy slow pumps as you continue to interlock your lips with hers. Ningning licks her chops as you press her whole body to the floor and kisses her neck while fucking her passionately, spreading her legs as you deeply mate her, rocking your hips sideways as her moans get more and more out of breath.
Ningning holds her hands against the chair as you now move around her tits, kissing and sucking them multiple times. After a few more kisses in her mouth, you switch to a fast pace as clapping sounds come out every time you pound her pussy. "YES, LIKE THAT, LIKE THAT," she yells as you hit her cunt hard, sticking her tongue out as you spit in her mouth and go back to treat her like a fuckdoll. 
You find some love for her armpits, licking them once more and adding them to your spitting session, but what you like the most is spitting on her face, showing your disapproval of how much of a slut she is. "That fucking cunt is so tight," you tell her as you keep pounding her. Ningning keeps yelling as you pick up the pace, pounding her against the floor like nothing. 
You put her legs up in the air and play with her asshole, going in and out of it to tease her. "YEAH. FUCK!" she screams as you keep doing it before surprising her with fast pumps in her gaped butthole. "Oh yeah, fuck!" Ningning screams as you grab her left thigh. "Open that ass," you demand of her as she spreads her sore cheeks and shows her huge gape. Her holes wink as you go back in, groping her tits, choking her, and treating her roughly as she remains lying on the floor.
Ningning gets obliterated on the floor as you keep fucking her mercilessly. "AHHH!" she yells, her body bouncing at each thrust. You start fingering her pussy and put her upside down. "OH MY GOD. What?" she asks as juices flow out of her wet vagina and her legs tremble, making her scream even further: "FUCKKKKKKK". You apply so much pressure to her pussy she collapses back on the floor, yelling as she orgasms and her body twists and turns. You drag her body across the floor and then massage her tits as she cums.
You put Ningning back upside down to torture her pussy even further, putting all your fingers inside of it and massaging her hole. Ningning lets out a perfect high note as you make her cum, and her hole gets even wetter. You spink her at the floor and turn her dizzy, her only reacting the way she knows best: screams and more screams.
Ningning once again gets fucked hard against the floor, but this time it's her mouth that gets your throbbing cock going in and out of it at full speed. You don't even look at her, just treating her like a bunch of fuckholes that are only there to please your cock. You shut her throat down, having enough of her screams, which come as soon as you free her mouth for a little second. But Ningning wants more, as she sucks your big dick on the floor before you react by sitting your whole weight against her doll face and putting your cock back in her mouth.
"Choke on it, bitch," you tell her as your balls also go inside her mouth. She tries to push up, but you slap her in the face. "I told you to choke on it," you say as you punish her. This time, you drag her by her knees and send her back to the mirror. You two made a mess a while ago. "Look how dirty it is; I think a whore got in there," you say as Ningning pants and licks the mirror. The mouth gag goes back in her mouth as you want her to watch herself get destroyed.
"Shhhhh," you tell her as you get close to her body. Ningning looks into the mirror as she sees your devilish face, ready to fuck her even harder. You wrap your hands around her pussy and then let her wrap your hands around your cock, grinding on it. Soon, her hands are tied behind her back, and she watches herself look like a mess in the mirror.
"Look at you, Versace's next slut," you prank her as your hands go back to massage her butterfly-shaped pussy. Ningning reacts and matches your moves down low, jerking your cock off. "Do you love me?" you ask her as she nods positively. "Now you do. I took it all the way; you should love me. Because what I tell Donatella will be what is going to decide your future with the brand," you say, taking the gag off Ningning's mouth and kissing her passionately as tears flow out of her eyes.
"Don't cry. You're a good girl," you tell her, as she can only pant and massage your cock, nothing else. But she doesn't listen and continues to cry. "I'm going to miss you after you're gone," you tell her. Ningning hasn't looked this emotional since all her hard work paid off and she was selected to debut for Aespa. She loves you too, and she's ready to join the Versace family. "After we are done, I'll think of you every day. We haven't even finished, but I already missed you." You continue to proclaim your love for Ningning, the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.
"I fucking love you, and I'm gonna show it," you say as you pin Ningning back against the mirror and put your cock back in her pussy. Just like earlier, she instinctively holds her hands against it, letting out a crying moan as you insert your cock back in her already used-up hole. You go slow, letting her enjoy each thrust your veiny pole gives her pussy to the fullest. Ningning's tears suddenly turn into a smile as you show your love for her with faster and faster poundings.
"YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES." she wholeheartedly approves as you fuck her in front of the mirror, her high heels stomping the floor each time you hit deep in her pussy. "You're mine," you tell her as she closes her eyes and goes back to her beautiful screams, the image of her doing it in the mirror looking amazing. You keep telling Ningning she's yours as you grab her arms and place them behind her back, with her just trying to keep her balance on top of her heels.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ningning screams the hardest as you treat her like a sex doll, fucking her like there is no tomorrow. Her body shakes, and she almost falls down. As soon as you stop, you turn her around and kiss her instantly. But you're very opportunistic, taking advantage of her passion and lust to drop her back to the floor like a ragdoll. "Lick your master's feet if you really love me," you tell her as your fetishes get sicker and sicker, and Ningning obliges, her body lying back on the hard floor as she worships your toes.
You once again do your favorite thing for her: drag her tiny body across the floor by her pretty hair. Ningning looks weaker than ever; you now have full control over her. You finally take her heels off, taking your turn to worship her feet. Amazingly, just like everything in her, they smell like roses. Ningning gets so excited that she shoves her left foot in your mouth, and you don't punish her for it; the deeper the better.
You wrap Ningning's legs around your neck and draw her body close to yours as she slides on the floor. You too continue to hotly kiss each other as she slides further and puts your cock back in her pussy, her ass frictioning against the floor as she moves up and down your shaft while giving little sexy out-of-breath moans to your face.
Suddenly, you take back control and hump your ass against the floor to fuck her. "Oh yes, oh yes," Ningning approves, as she has now nearly lost her voice. She no longer screams, only whispers. As you grab her neck, you give her more declarations of love while never losing sight of her tight pussy. "I love you, my little butterfly," you tell her as you wrap your arms around her leg and pound her pussy faster. As Ningning regains her strength to yell, you put your arms in her mouth. "Bite them if you love me," you demand. And she does all that while still letting out her classic muffled screams.
Ningning looks completely wasted and exhausted as she collapses on the floor. But she still wants your cock as she wraps her feet around your shaft and uses them to jerk you off. What a naughty girl. She just holds herself to the chair's legs and extends her body on the floor, moving those beautiful feet up and down that big cock. You just enjoy the perfect view of her tiny naked body while she does it, holding the urge not to shoot your cum all over it as her little footjob massage puts you on the edge.
"Fuck, yes," you approve of Ningning's footjob. But you need not lose sight of her as you push her back close to you and put her in a spooning position. "Come here," you tell her. Ningning's tongue is completely out of her mouth, indicating how tired she is. Her efforts to gasp for air make her tits move a lot as you just give her pussy some slow and deep pumps, waiting for her to recover.
"Finish inside me, please," Ningning begs as you lift her left leg and pound her wide open pussy. She starts cooing like a baby at each thrust you give her, harder and harder poundings. Ningning's pussy clenches all over your cock as she waits for you to coat her insides with cum. After nearly an hour of fucking this ice-cold beauty, you're now tired too, taking some pauses to hiss her and look at her beautiful but now super messy face.
You caress Ningning as tears of joy flow out of her eyes, tenderly placing your hands and running them over her now ultra-red skin. You go very slowly, letting her kisses heat you up. As you regain your strength to fuck her hard, she senses you getting closer: "YES, YES, YES, PLEASE CUM ALL OVER MY PUSSY," she screams. You detach a little from Ningning to take one final look at her perfect body as you grab her legs and attack her pussy at full speed.
"OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD," Ningning screams as her vaginal walls smash your cock, soon leading to your pulsating member finally giving in and filling her pussy to the brim. Her body shakes on the floor as your cum flows out of her hole, and both of you collapse after such an exhilarating hour of intense sex, staying there for a couple seconds. As Ningning finally manages to go back on her knees, you feed your still-hard cock into her mouth, balls deep. Her warm mouth and your insatiable desire for her make it explode again, filling her throat with your warm load as well. Ningning gets fully emotional and cries as you hug her and kiss her cum-filled mouth for one last time, which you hope isn't the last.
"Welcome to the Versace family, Ningning. But even better, welcome to my world," you tell her as the security staff tells you to leave. "Your time is up," they tell you.
Ningning takes a long shower and gets ready for the dinner. It goes perfectly. She leaves an amazing impression on the whole Versace family. They know what she did in that room. You have already briefed them. But Ningning is not aware of it.
The months go by. Versace gets even closer to her during Aespa's comeback, with her constantly wearing their clothes. But her promotion seems to have never come. That is, until she receives a notification from Donatella herself, telling Ningning she'll be their next global ambassador.
After so much effort, Ningning is finally one of the Versace superestars, and as she arrives at Milan Fashion Week, a familiar face is there to greet her.
"Meet your new personal photographer, Ningning. Well, I think you know him already."
1K notes · View notes
gimmeurtmi · 4 months
Text
no nut november — 2min
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pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader x lee minho
tags: established relationship, polyamory, smut!!!🔞
warnings: swearing, alcohol, throuple, heavy mxm, use of “bunny”, “bubs”, "baby," clubbing, voyeurism, a no nut november bet, 2min who are little shits, reader is implied demisexual but can be read otherwise, fingering, multiple orgasms and overstimulation, lmk what i forgot <3
inspo: i mustn’t say 🤭
notes: one might ask, “lils, why tf are you posting a no nut november fic in january?” and i will simply answer “time is but a cage i cannot be locked into.”. no but seriously i had this idea in like october and well. you know. so i finished it now because i missed my 2min throuple verse! im not madly in love with this and i didn’t know how to end it but i also thought it was lowkey cute so here it is!!! mwah! <3
{ wc: 4638}
“You two are crazy,” you scoffed, before taking another sip of your brightly coloured cocktail. It was Minho’s birthday celebration, albeit two days later than the actual birthday, but it was the weekend and easier for your schedules to align for a night out. 
“Come on, bubs, we’re serious,” Seungmin said, pushing his elbows forward and inching closer to you. It was odd of the pair of them to sit together and not fight for the seat beside you on the booth, but now you’ve understood they had an ulterior motive tonight. Trying to rope you into their craziness. 
“I have no issues with not having sex,” you start, shaking your head at Minho’s brow raise, “you both know that’s not the thing I care about here.”
“Exactly,” Seungmin grinned. “You love us and not our monster di—“
“—shush!!” You quickly urged him, watching your waitress approach your table to check on your service. You order six more shots. 
“I don’t understand the game, then,” you looked between them, eyeing them suspiciously. 
“We were talking about it, and I think out of the three of us Seungminnie is least likely to make it,” Minho explained. 
“But I’m a virgo,”
“But he’s a virgo,” you both echoed. Minho rolled his eyes with a small fond smile on his face, shaking his head. 
“Yes, there’s that. And we kept going back and forth about it so we thought we should just try it and see who actually makes it a whole month.” 
“This is incredibly stupid,” you decide, quickly shutting your mouth when the waitress arrives with your shots. You take one immediately and down it. 
“You’ve done stupider things,” Seungmin said, leaning back in his chair. He’s close to admitting defeat, you can tell. And so can Minho, so he turns his full attention to you and grabs your hands. 
“It’ll be so fun, come on. Imagine how frustrated the puppy will get when he keeps trying to hump our—“
“—hey!” Seungmin slapped Minho’s shoulder, earning an endeared giggle from the older. 
“Why do you two wanna do it so bad?” You squinted at Minho, watching as he fixes his gaze on yours in determination. 
“Because I wanna be right,” he rubs his thumb against your hand. “I think he’ll crack first, and then you. And then me.” 
“I will last a whole month. Maybe even two.” 
“Bubs, this isn’t just no sex with us. This is no touching at all. Nothing,” Seungmin tries. 
“No kissing even?” You squeak. 
“Yes kissing!” Minho practically yells, squeezing your hand tightly. He looks between the pair of you, alarmed as his bunny teeth peek out of his gasp. “Definitely lots of kissing!” 
Seungmin laughs almost evilly at the pair of you, his bangs hiding his eyes slightly as he shakes his head. 
“So just no sexual stuff,” you try to clarify. “That’s too easy.”
“Then let’s do it!” Minho exclaimed, grabbing one of the two shots placed in front of him and downing it with a dramatic head swing. 
Seungmin rolls his eyes before downing one of his pair. 
“I feel like you two are up to something,” you say, tapping your fingers against Minho’s palm. Seungmin scoffs. 
“Why would we be up to something, bubs?” 
“Yeah, bunny,” Minho blinks innocently, “what would we be up to?” 
You scrutinise Minho’s ears, studying them carefully for any sign of redness—but the ambience is relaxed and luxurious around you, which for whatever reason means there’s barely enough light to tell if Minho’s ears are telling the truth or not. 
“Hey,” Seungmin grabs your arm, squeezing softly, “let’s just forget about it, then. Hyung and I thought it would be funny but if you don’t want to then there’s nothing to discuss.” 
“I’ll think about it,” you conclude. 
It’s then you remember the other round of shots you each have waiting in front of you, and gesture to your boyfriends for a cheers. You dedicate it to Minho’s birthday before clinking your glasses together. Then, after three more rounds, Minho decides he’s ready for the club. 
It’s packed full of people, Minho’s arm protectively wrapping around your stomach as he shields you from behind. Seungmin holds your hand tightly in front you, the three of you single file as he pushes through the sea of party goers. It’s just the last Saturday of October, it shouldn’t be so busy, but Minho says he wants to stay so the three of you stay. 
Seungmin pushes all the way to the very heart of the dance floor where the bass is so loud you feel it in your ribcage. You can barely see anything around you—bodies pushing you from one side to the other, but you know it’s safe since Minho is completely behind you. Like your personal shield. 
You tug Seungmin’s hand, pulling him closer to you until he stumbles, Minho’s other arm reaching for Seungmin’s spare one. 
The three of you start dancing along to whatever overplayed club tune is on, so close no one could possibly separate you. So close you feel Minho’s hardness against your ass. You couldn’t exactly classify it as dancing, at least not by any standards Minho would allow. You’re basically just grinding on each other in time with the music. It’s a very fast song. 
“Seung,” you have to yell in his ear, “he’s gonna get needy if we keep dancing like this.” 
Seungmin, always quick to solve problems—or indeed, make them worse—grabs Minho by the back of his head and kisses him as messily as he possibly can. The grip on your hip tightens, and even the music isn’t loud enough to drown out Minho’s deep moan. You aren’t actually sure if you heard it or you could feel it vibrating against you but soon Minho grabs your jaw and starts kissing around it, Seungmin attaching his lips to yours. 
The three of you aren’t the biggest participants of PDA, mainly because of the judgemental eyes that it brings with it, but the veil of alcohol and club induced horniness means you know you can get away with it here. Besides, it’s so dark and incredibly loud that no one is really paying attention to the three of you anyway. 
You feel Minho sucking onto your skin, your senses clouded by Seungmin’s tongue—but Minho’s hands are obviously inchining higher and higher, getting dangerously close to your chest. 
“Min,” you let out softly, detaching yourself from Seungmin for only a moment to let out your weak sounding warning. 
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Minho grumbles, grabbing Seungmin and you by the wrist as he pushes his way outside. 
A very tense taxi ride back, and almost two hours of worshipping the birthday boy later—the three of you fall on the bed, naked and sweaty and spent. 
As the one with the most working limbs, it’s your turn to get water and snakes and warm clothes to change into. You quickly wrap yourself up in your fuzzy robe before running to the kitchen. You grab two bottles and the fruit Minho cut up before you left “just in case” as if you weren’t all aware your evening would end the way it did. 
When you returned, hands full, you saw a rare tenderness shared between your boyfriends you don’t often get to see. 
They’re too often caught up in their fake bickering and inability to show their feelings that it can be easy to forget just how much they love each other. 
You try not to make too much noise, not to disrupt their bubble as you watch Seungmin, a love sick puppy look in his eyes as he combs Minho’s sweaty hair back from his face, before he leans down to kiss him ever so softly. 
Minho barely moves, which is expected after what the pair of you did to him, and smiles softly against Seungmin’s full lips. You feel your heart bursting at the sight of them, so wrapped up with each other, and it gets harder and harder not to join them. Not to mention your full hands. 
You slowly sit down on the bed, Minho’s fingers blindly reaching for your hand and you wrap your fingers around his once you put all your items to the side. You were going to grab clothes too but Minho isn’t going to let go of your hand any time soon—so you simply admire the scene, your boyfriends exchanging soft kisses. 
“Hyungie,” Seungmin giggles after a few minutes, “you can’t fall asleep yet.” 
“But—“ he puckers his lips up, perfectly pillowy as he demands more kisses. His eyes are closed shut, a small muted whine leaving him as he’s left kissless for more than two seconds. Seungmin looks up at you with his signature shit eating grin and gestures for you to give him an apple slice, promptly shoving it into Minho’s puckered up lips. 
Minho only opens his eyes for a moment to recognise what’s been shoved into his lips, before he obediently gets to eating his fruit with his eyes still shut. 
Seungmin gestures to the water bottle, telling you in sign language he’d like to dunk all of it on the incredibly peaceful Minho below him. You laugh loudly before crossing your hands in an X. 
Minho silently demands more, and you have to sit him up this time to properly eat and hydrate, and the three of you finish all the fruit and water in relative silence. 
It’s only after you’ve washed and dressed (and Seungmin changed the sheets) that Minho speaks up. 
“That was a really good birthday,” he mumbles, incredibly tired now that most of the adrenaline wore off. 
“You’re gonna be really sore tomorrow though,” Seungmin chuckles, ignoring the pout Minho sends his way. 
You giggle, agreeing with Seungmin before you wrap your arms around his middle and promptly fall asleep. 
Seungmin makes your coffee the way you like it the next morning. Minho is still asleep and you decide you don’t want to disturb him yet. 
The pair of you listen to the news for a bit and then put on a rerun of a variety show before you speak up halfway through the episode. Seungmin quickly lowers the volume. 
“We should do it,” you say, sipping from your lukewarm coffee. 
“Do what?” 
“Your stupid no sex for a month pact,”
“Was the sex that bad last night?” He blinks at you, mouth gaped and perfectly round. 
“Maybe it was just that good that you broke my cunt and I need a month off,” you raise your eyebrows at him. 
Seungmin starts to smirk just as a grumbled voice says, “yeah, me too. Never touch me again, Kim Seungmin.” 
Minho crashes on the chair next to yours, groaning as he sits down, before nuzzling his face into your shoulder. 
“So you two agree I have a monster d—“
“Seung!” You both yell out. 
*
November 28th 
The boys have been away for weeks. 
They didn’t quite consider the pact they made was perfectly timed with their packed schedule and so there was no real way for you to break it anyway. Even if you were to resort to the classic solution of phone sex, they rarely had time. 
There was always a good night text, and a good morning selfie, and the unappealing close ups of Minho’s food for the day. Your group chat was still as active as ever with the boys exchanging stories and you sharing all your personal gossip with them. 
But there was no time to think about the bet. 
That was until they came back home two days ago.
You were doing perfectly fine before they had to be in your house every day, sharing your bed, walking around with just a towel after their morning showers. 
Both of them were incredibly irritating that way—existing next to you without instigating anything, without sharing tender kisses with you while they touched your body.
You meant what you said then, of course the sexual aspect of your relationship wasn’t a top priority but there was an intimacy you craved with your boyfriends that you always felt during sex and with them being gone for work for the better part of a month, it was the first thing you wanted when they came back. 
But you stayed strong, you wouldn’t let yourself be the one to lose. 
Last night you fell asleep before the boys even came back home, but at some point you felt hands around your shoulders and a knee against yours and so you knew they were back with you. 
And in the morning after blinking your eyes open, you were met with Minho’s beautiful face. You smiled softly to yourself, a content sigh leaving your chest as you snuggled closer to your boyfriend. The other side of the bed was empty, but you could hear a faint melody coming from the shower, so you knew Seungmin was awake and well, too. 
After spending the morning cuddling with a half sleeping Minho–Seungmin only annoying you once when he walked over and kissed your shoulder in greeting, before shaking his wet hair all over the pair of you–you had to get up to do some errands around town. 
Your boyfriends offered to come with you but you insisted they shouldn’t, after all, Minho could barely keep his eyes open for more than ten minutes and Seungmin had a vocal lesson in an hour. You didn’t want them to go out of their way for you when you needed to take care of boring adult stuff anyway. 
While you were still stuck in traffic, Seungmin sent you half a dozen pictures of Minho’s sleeping face with a text that said ‘help me hide his corpse’. 
You knew Seungmin was obviously bored but you couldn’t possibly help him from so far away, instead you challenged him to a game of one on one trivia through an app you both liked. 
At one point, when your phone said you were still thirty minutes away from home, Seungmin didn’t take his turn–so you concluded that either Minho woke up or Seungmin found something more interesting to do. 
When you got back home half an hour later, you discovered exactly what it was that Seungmin found more interesting than your trivia game. 
“I’m home!” You announced as you walked in, quickly taking your shoes off and washing your hands. It was quiet in the house otherwise, and with the door to the bedroom closed you assumed they were both napping again. They always came home tired from their schedules and the mixture of jet leg so you tried your best to make a snack as quietly as possible. 
But then you heard a moan. 
“Seungminnie,” Minho said softly through the walls, “so good.” 
You quickly snapped up from your chair, rushing towards the bedroom. 
You had no doubt about what you heard (Minho was never good at volume control) but you still wanted to confirm it fully. Slowly, quietly, you opened the door to the bedroom. And there, sure enough, were your boyfriends half naked, kissing, their hands down each others’ boxers. 
They haven’t noticed you yet, Minho's eyes were closed in pure pleasure as Seungmin switched between kissing him and moaning against his cheek. You could see both their hands moving in sync as they jerked each other off—still completely unaware you could see everything. 
At least you won their stupid bet. 
You always love being the centre of their attention, but watching them was a completely intoxicating experience. Getting to notice every little quirk of Minho’s eyebrows as the pleasure took over him, watching Seungmin’s uncaring facade disappear as he gets lost in the feeling his boyfriend provides. You could feel your wetness soaking through your clothes, you could feel the dull throb of arousal between your legs—but you didn’t want to do anything other than watch them. You should probably make your presence known, but all you wanted to do was keep watching.
You could tell Minho was getting close since he scrunched his eyes shut and started whimpering out Seungmin’s name, and you could tell Seungmin was close since he wasn’t making any noises at all, and you watched in awe as they sped up their movements. 
“Hyung, I’m close,” Seungmin whimpered out. 
“Me too,” Minho groaned. “Together baby, okay?” 
You had to stop yourself from moaning out loud at their words, from gushing at the small kiss Minho pressed against Seungmin’s lips before the pair of them groaned out together as they came. 
Seungmin is the first to open his eyes, and he reaches for some wipes to help clean them both up. He smiles, soft, as he kisses Minho’s cheek. 
“Do you feel better, baby?” He asked, barely above a whisper. 
Minho smiles, one thin line, as he nods quickly before shutting his eyes and snuggling into Seungmin’s chest. 
They still haven’t noticed you. 
“You want to sleep more?” Seungmin asks as he plants a kiss on the top of Minho’s head. 
“I wanna make dinner before Y/N gets back, she’s probably gonna be hungry when she gets here.”
You feel your heart speed up at the mention of your name, but they haven’t even looked in your direction yet. So you don’t move. 
“Okay, let’s rest for a bit first,” Seungmin concludes. Minho hums in agreement, moving closer to his chest and planting a small kiss on his heart. 
“I don’t think she’s been eating well while we were gone,” Minho mumbles, “you two are exactly the same. If I don’t cook it’s only takeout for your lazy asses.” 
“That’s rude,” you chuckle. 
They both gasp, and Minho’s eyes shoot right open as he realises what he’s heard. 
“Bubs!” Seungmin yells. “H-how long have you been home?” 
“Long enough,” you smile, as innocently as you can allow yourself, before making your way over to the bed. You sit on the edge of it trying your best to keep a serious face as the boys look at you slightly apprehensive. 
They both sit up, moving away from each other as if to prove that definitely nothing happened between them two seconds ago. 
“But how long?” Minho asks, eyes wide. 
“I should ask you two the same thing, no?” You tilt your head to the side, eyebrows high on your face. 
Seungmin chuckles nervously, looking at Minho before looking back at you. 
“Nothing happened, you know. We were just cuddling,” Minho is quick to say. 
“Right,” you nod, “of course.” 
“Seriously, bubs, it’s was just—“ 
“—you two cumming at the same time?” They both let out a sigh of defeat, realising they can’t possibly lie to you since you’ve seen it all unfold. 
Minho shakes his head softly before reaching for your wrist. He rubs his thumb against the back of your hand before sighing softly. 
“Truth is, we made the bet because we wanted to see how horny you’d get,” Minho rolls his eyes, “but it just made Kim Seungmin more unbearable than usual.”
“Lee Minho,” he says quickly, “that is not the truth.”
“He doesn’t even respect his elders,” Minho mumbled at you, a disapproving frown on his lips. You roll your eyes before turning to Seungmin with a questioning raise of your brows. 
“Hyung got horny first,” Seungmin corrects him. 
“I did not,” he retaliates. 
“You did. You dragged me to the dressing room after MuCore and you—“ Minho slaps his hand onto Seungmin’s mouth, his upper lip curling in on itself as he tried his best not to yell too much at his boyfriend. 
“It was a frustrating day,” Minho explains, trying to regain some of his pride back. 
All you can do is laugh. “So your plan to make me horny backfired on you?”
They both nod. “I was embarrassed about it so we didn’t want to tell you, we thought we’d just let the month end and not bring it up again.” 
“Hyung,” Seungmin sighs. They share a look between themselves, something you can’t understand, before Seungmin turns to you. He plants a soft kiss on your cheek. 
“I’m sorry we didn’t say anything. We had a lot of sex this month,” 
“Like, a lot,” Minho agrees with a giggle. 
“And we wanted to tell you! But we also thought it would be funnier if you cracked like Minho did.”
“I told you guys it was a stupid idea,” you grin. 
“You’re not mad we didn’t tell you?” Seungmin asks, and Minho squeezes your hand tightly. 
“No,” you shrug, “it’s not like you did anything wrong. You just proved that I’m the best out of the three of us,” you giggle—laughing harder when Seungmin’s mouth gaps. 
“So it’s all good? We’re fine?” Minho asks. 
You hum softly. “You had a lot of sex this month, right?” They nod. “And I haven’t had any at all.”
“True,” Minho starts playing with your fingers, a small smirk forming on his lips. 
“So we need to balance the scales a little, don’t you think?” 
“Oh, definitely,” Seungmin nods eagerly, jumping forward to grab your hips and plant you firmly on his lap. 
Instantly, Minho straddles Seungmin’s knees, wrapping his arms around your middle. Seungmin grabs your jaw, crashing his tongue against yours as you moan into his mouth. You didn’t realise just how much you were craving your boyfriends touch until that very second you received it and then your whole body lit on fire with the longing you had for them. 
You didn’t even need to ask for more, as before your brain could even tell your tongue to use words, Minho was taking off your shirt and bra. He cups your tits, pinching and twisting your nipples as you moan loudly. 
A month without touching yourself, days of your lovers cuddling up to you in your sleep, and then watching them cum at the same time has all caused you such extreme horny brain fog you didn’t even know what to do with yourself or how to react. All you could do was throw your head back onto Minho’s shoulder and let your hips chase the pleasure you craved against Seungmin’s lap. 
“Seungminnie,” Minho coaxed softly, “can you suck on bunny’s tits for us?” 
Seungmin eagerly nods, his hair jumping with the motion before he wraps his full lips around your nipple. Minho kisses your shoulder before he runs a hand through Seungmin’s hair with a soft, “good job.” 
Seungmin’s lips sent waves of pleasure up and down your body, an aching throb shaking against your core as you grow more and more desperate. Luckily, neither one of them is in any position to make fun of you or hold it against you. In fact, they’re both so eager to keep making you feel good. 
Minho slips his hand into your underwear, quickly finding your clit and rubbing figure eights against it in a bruising pace. 
You don’t think more than ten seconds pass before you grab Seungmin’s hair tightly, and chant out that “I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” 
Minho kisses your neck as it rushes over you, while Seungmin squeezes your thighs as they start shaking. 
Your vision blurs for a moment or two before you refocus, and catch sight of a bewildered Seungmin wiping his lips. 
“Bubs that was so fucking quick,” he sighs, amazed. “How?” 
“Min, I need another one,” is all you provide for an explanation. 
Minho is quick to follow his orders and resumes his previous pace as he rubs your clit again. It takes a few seconds longer and Seungmin notices, so he quickly gets back to teasing your tits for the extra stimulation you’d need. It doesn’t take long after that, and although your walls flutter around emptiness it’s so much better than not cumming at all. You moan loudly as it hits your entire body. 
Minho plants kisses all around your face as you catch your breath, but you don’t even care about breathing. You mumble out, “more.”
“My turn this time!” Seungmin rushes out, pulling your underwear off and softly rubbing your sensitive clit. 
Minho leaves you with a firm kiss before he lays back down next to Seungmin, watching your face with laser focus. 
“You’ve been waiting for this, bunny?” He says lowly. You nod quickly as you make no effort to stop the broken moans tumbling out your chest. “Your cunt has been so eager for us, huh?” 
“M-Min, I’ll fucking cum again—“ Seungmin applies more pressure to your clit, rubbing as hard and as fast as he can before you fall forward with the impact of another orgasm. 
“Holy fuck,” you say once you catch your bearings. 
“That was fun,” Seungmin grins. “Want more, bubs?” 
“Yeah, yes,” you moan, still aching for more as your clit throbs, “want something inside me.” 
The boys exchange a look before Minho rubs your shoulder. He drags you off Seungmin’s lap, slowly, before he places you between the pair of them. 
He makes sure to spread your legs as you get comfortable on your back. 
“I’m not ready yet,” he says with a small kiss to your temple, “think my fingers will be enough?” 
“Please,” you nod. 
“I’m not ready either,” Seungmin says while lacing his fingers with yours, “but since my hand is much bigger wouldn’t you prefer my fingers?” 
“I-I-I,” is all you manage to stutter out, your brain too slow after three orgasms. You don’t even know who they’re trying to tease, you or the other, but there’s only one thing on your mind. “I just wanna cum.”
“But you already did, my pretty bunny,” Minho brushes your lips together softly, “are you gonna be so greedy that you’ll ask for both our fingers for a fourth orgasm?” 
“How many times has Seung made you cum in the past month?” You manage to accuse. 
“About fifteen? fourteen?” Minho shrugs. 
“Then you owe me twelve more,” you whine. 
Minho nods slowly, blinking a few times before he smiles. “Mine or Kim Seungmin’s?” 
“Both,” you groan, “just take turns I don’t care.” 
“Fuck that’s demanding,” Seungmin chuckles dryly. “Guess we do owe her, though.” 
“Guess we do,” Minho shrugs. 
Seungmin leans down to kiss your neck softly and you feel his hand sliding up your thigh, slowly circling your entrance before sinking inside you. The stretch feels so good it echoes to your thighs and you moan loudly as it deepens. You feel Minho’s fingers crawl up your thigh before your walks tighten as more slips inside you. You blink your eyes open to see it was in fact both of them. 
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” you sob out as you feel six fingers inside you, a loud and wet noise accompanying their movements as they slide their fingers in and out, perfectly synchronised with each other. 
“Minho-hyung made me cum twenty times, so we owe you thirty two all together,” Seungmin says simply. 
You clench tightly at those words, at your boyfriends’ promise, and they both smirk at each other when they feel it. 
It was a long evening after that, the boys insisting on going until you had to tap out and say you couldn’t take anymore. They kissed you softly and apologised again but you told them they were certainly forgiven. You didn’t even actually need twenty nine more orgasms from them. But they insisted that was the only way to make it up to you that they even suggested such a silly bet just to get a reaction out of you. 
Minho does eventually feed you, and Seungmin brushes your hair after your shared shower, and they promise to keep kissing you until you fall asleep.
They never break any of their promises to you, and by the second week of December their debt is cleared too.
1K notes · View notes
wandasgf · 7 months
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WEST COAST. mdni. 18+.
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pairings: older!natasha romanoff + f!maximoff!reader
summary: in which natasha agrees to help with a bake sale and you both stumble into admitting your feelings
warnings: legal age gap (natasha is 43 and reader is 22), pining lesbians, top!natasha, bottom!reader, finger sucking, light dom/sub dynamics, fingering, brief daddy kink
wc: 5.7k
a/n: thank you very much for this request, it gave me brain worms, also this is not proof read so :]
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“Come on, Tash, please? Mom said you’d go with me because she’ll be busy with B and T’s school fair.” You practically beg the older woman, holding your cell phone carefully between your cheek and shoulder as you finish mixing up the ingredients for the cupcakes you were baking; it wouldn’t be the first time you dropped it in some cake batter if you weren’t careful. Half of them were for Billy and Tommy’s school fair and the other half were for the bake sale you were helping out with at your university. You had taken it upon yourself to do the baking this year because you knew your mother, Wanda, would be busy with work and getting your younger brothers ready for the fair. They were always very hyper and excitable, it took a lot to round them up. You didn’t really mind though, you did have some extra free time and you always got restless when you truly had nothing to do.
Natasha chuckles on the other end of the phone, “Your mom can say anything she wants, sweetheart. That doesn’t make it true, that just makes her Wanda.” She can practically hear you rolling your eyes as you groan at her response. She’s typing lazily with one hand as the other holds her cellphone, not paying nearly as much attention to her work as she should, especially with the deadlines coming up for this quarter. She can’t help it, though, you rarely call her like this, and when you do she wants to give you as much attention as she possibly can. “Besides, I thought this was something you could handle on your own. You’re a big girl, aren’t you? A little bake sale shouldn’t scare you.”
“Ugh, I’m not scared, you jerk. I just think it would be a little easier if I had someone to help me! And, I want to check out everything else too. I heard the haunted house this year is gonna be amazing! Peter’s working on it with MJ, I just have to go,” you put the phone down on the counter and put it on speaker, not wanting to risk dropping it while you pour the batter into the cupcake tray; that wouldn’t be the first time either. “It won’t be as much fun if I’m by myself, and Kate will be busy trying to make people want to join the archery club. Please? It’ll be so fun, I’ll even give you a cupcake for free.” You try to bargain with her, knowing that she’s always been a fan of your baking since she’s so terrible at it herself.
The bake sale was a part of your university’s fall celebration. Every October, they held a bake sale, a club fair, a haunted house, games and some other things in the week leading up to Halloween. This was your fourth one, and usually, you’d force your friend Kate to help you, but this year she’d agreed to help out with the archery club before you could ask. Not that you minded, because when you brought it up, your mother had absentmindedly suggested that maybe Natasha could help you since she couldn’t, and you would never say no to spending time with the redhead. You don’t know when exactly your schoolgirl crush on your mother’s friend turned into the very real thing it was now. You wouldn’t even say it was a crush because at this point you were certain you were damn near in love with the older woman, but you knew it was something you could never have. So, even as you and Natasha grew closer as you grew older, becoming something akin to friends now that you’ve reached your early twenties, all you could do was cherish the time you got together. 
You can hear Natasha sigh before she responds, “Fine, but you better make it two or I’m leaving before you get to that haunted house.” You’re about to thank her profusely before she speaks again, effectively cutting you off before you even started, “Now, listen, I’d love to stay on the phone with you, but if I’m gonna take the day off tomorrow, I’ve got some work to finish. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” 
You both bid each other goodbye and once you hang up the phone, you smile giddily. Natasha was going to take the day off tomorrow for you. Natasha, who was always busy with work, was going to take the day off so she could help you with your silly fall bake sale. “Oh my God… Oh my God!” You feel like a teenage girl with a crush again, getting so excited over something so simple, but you just can’t help it because you know if anyone else had asked, Natasha would have said no. You check the time to make sure none of your family members would be home soon before you call Kate. You just have to tell her about this. You have to get out all your nervous excitement and giddiness before you see Natasha tomorrow, you’ve always been afraid she could see right through you and your feelings. You didn’t need to be more obvious than usual tomorrow. 
And, yeah, you do make two cupcakes specially for Natasha with red icing because you know it’s her favorite color even though the rest of the icing is orange and black. 
-
Tomorrow comes quicker than both you and Natasha would like. You, because you still don’t know what to wear, and honestly, you’re a little worried Kate might come by and say something stupid. She’s always telling you to just put it out there and let Natasha know how you feel, but you can name at least a thousand reasons why that is the worst idea she’s ever had. Not including when she broke the church’s bell tower by accident when she was a freshman. First and foremost being that Natasha is your mother’s best friend, Natasha is twice your age, and ruining the little platonic relationship that you have with Natasha would hurt you more than when Karolina Dean moved away in the seventh grade when the two of you had what you would now call some sort of situationship. 
And Natasha, because she doesn’t really know why she agreed to do this at all. She really does have work she needs to get done and there’s truly no reason she couldn’t have told you to ask one of your university friends to help you, she knows Kate isn’t your only friend, far from it. Well, the first part of that is a lie– she does know why. She knows exactly why she agreed to help you, she agreed because you asked. What she doesn’t know is what she’s going to do around you today with no one as buffer. No Wanda, no Billy, no Tommy, not even her sister Yelena, it’s just you and her. Sure, there would be other students on campus and coming up to the bake sale table, but in her mind, it’s still just you and her. She doesn’t like when it’s just you and her, because when it is everything feels too real. Suddenly, when it’s just the two of you, there’s no reason for her to hold back. And she knows she needs to hold back, she has to because there’s no world in which you would ever be allowed to be hers. 
You’re holding up different sweaters in the mirror, trying to figure out which looks better with the particular shade of denim you’re wearing, when you hear a knock on your door and your mother walks in. “What’s up?” You turn your head to look at her before turning back to the mirror, still trying to decide. “The one with the brown in it,” she hums, walking over to sit on your bed. She’d always been able to tell just what you were thinking even if you didn’t ask. “You’re overthinking this sweater a lot. Are you sure it’s just Natasha that’s going to be with you today?” You weren’t prepared for her question and your eyes widen just the slightest and you hope she doesn’t notice. “Yeah, just Natasha. Kate’s doing her archery thing, and I think America is helping MJ and Peter with the haunted house.”
“Okay… Well, if there was someone, you know it’s okay for you to tell me, right?”
“Mom!” You groan, she seriously cannot be doing this right now. You’re a grown woman, for god’s sake… but you do appreciate how much she cares for you, you just can’t tell her. Ever.
“Alright, alright! I just wanted you to know. The boys and I are going to be leaving in a few minutes. You should come say goodbye to them, I think they’re going to stay at your father’s tonight...”
You make a noise of agreement, nodding. You know there was a ‘but’ that she wanted to say, but you both knew what it was without her saying it out loud. They were supposed to stay with Vision last weekend too, but that never happened. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.” 
Wanda squeezes your shoulder as she walks past you, and you wait until she’s shut the door before you let your head fall back slightly, staring up at the ceiling. You can’t help but think she’s known for a while, and you feel slightly nauseous at the fact. If she knows, maybe Natasha does too, and that just can’t happen. 
Natasha arrives a few minutes after Wanda and the boys leave, opting to pull into the driveway when she sees the lack of her friend’s minivan in it. She told you she’d pick you up because it made no sense to take two cars and she had to pass your house to get to the university anyway. She takes two seconds before she turns the car off and gets out. She’s too old to be acting like an insecure teenager, she can do this. She’s dressed for the occasion, wanting to fit into the fall theme, wearing a nice knit sweater and a casual pair of pants. 
Her heart squeezes when you open the door and you’re wearing your own knit sweater, she forgot how cute you looked during the fall. “Tasha! I’ll just be a few minutes, I have to get everything packed up and put my shoes on, but then we can go. Come in!” You’re out of her sight as quick as you stepped into it, wanting to get everything done as quickly as possible. You didn’t want to make her wait. 
“I was hoping you wouldn’t make me stand out here the whole time.” Natasha steps inside, wiping any dirt off of the bottom of her boots on the doormat. She’d take them off, but there’s no point if you’ll just be leaving in a few minutes, anyway. Sue her. “Where are those cupcakes I was promised?”
“They’re on the counter, the red ones.” You call out from the kitchen, you weren’t expecting her so early or maybe you’d lost track of time after you said your goodbyes to everyone earlier. It’s a comfortable silence as you move around the room, packing everything up while Natasha eats her cupcakes, offering to help you every few minutes, but you just wave her off. She wouldn’t usually let you do that, but she was enjoying the food, so she’d settle for not letting you bring anything out to the car, she’d do that herself. 
“Okay, done!” You say, proud of how quickly you’d gotten everything done, and turn to look at Natasha only to find her already looking at you. You feel heat rush to your cheeks and you avert your gaze quickly. “I can see that. You put your shoes on and I’ll bring everything out to the car.” She doesn’t phrase it as a question, but you open your mouth to object anyway, only to be interrupted before you can speak, “It’ll be faster this way, won’t it? Go put your shoes on, cupcake.”
The name leaves you grumbling as you huff and walk out of the kitchen, knowing she’s right. Natasha only chuckles before she starts bringing everything out to her car, making sure that nothing is going to accidentally get squished or have their containers tipped over. Once everything is settled, she grabs the latte from the cupholder in the front seat and meets you at your front door as you’re locking it, “This is for you because I know you spent way too long in the kitchen last night.” 
“Non-dairy?”
“Of course.”
“Then thank you.” You take the cup from her, your breath hitching when your fingers brush and bring it up to your lips to take a drink. “Oh my God, this is good.”
“I figured you’d like it. Now, come on, weren’t you the one who said we needed to get there early?”
-
The car ride passes comfortably, with the occasional small talk, but mostly the radio playing quietly in the background while you sip on your latte and Natasha taps against the steering wheel in time with the song. You find that you don’t need to talk to enjoy your time with her, just being with her is enough. Feeling her presence around you is enough for you to feel relaxed and get that warm feeling that only Natasha can give you. When you arrive and Natasha finds somewhere to park, you take a quick scan of the quad. Thankfully, she was able to find close parking, which is a miracle, really. Your eyes light up when you spot Professor Potts standing near an empty table which you can now only assume is for the bake sale. 
“I’ll be right back, I just have to go talk to Professor Potts for a second.” You point behind you with your thumb and then turn to leave. You only take two steps before you’re turning your head to look at Natasha again, “But, actually, since I know you won’t let me help, you can start bringing everything over to the table. I’ll be right next to it.”
Natasha laughs a little under her breath at how quickly you went from ‘you’re not carrying everything yourself, Tasha’ in the car to ‘actually, you do everything’ now that you were actually here. “Yes, Ma’am.” She teases, and you roll your eyes at her before starting to walk over. 
It doesn’t actually take long for Natasha to bring everything over to the table, and by the time she’s done, you’re wrapping up your conversation with Professor Potts– Pepper, as you usually call her. You were just double checking the details of the bake sale and what the prices were supposed to be before you properly set everything up, but you didn’t think Natasha would be particularly interested in that conversation, so you figured she’d be happy enough to bring everything over while you talked. “Oh! Pepper, this is Natasha. Natasha, this is Pepper. She’s one of the professors who helps run the student societies!”
“It’s nice to meet you, Natasha. I didn’t realize Y/N was bringing her partner today.” Pepper smiles and holds her hand out for Natasha to shake. 
“Oh, she’s n–”
“It’s nice to meet you as well. It was a bit of a last minute thing, something about Kate and archery, but I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Natasha shakes Pepper’s hand, mirroring the other woman’s smile. 
“Speaking of Kate and archery, I’m sure you two can manage this just fine on your own, because I have to go find her and make sure that her ‘advertising’ of the archery club doesn’t include any actual arrows this time.” Pepper sighs, and Natasha just laughs like she knows exactly what it’s like to deal with Kate’s antics, before Pepper walks off.
You stare at Natasha wordlessly for a couple of seconds, thinking maybe she’s going to say something about the fact that she just implied the two of you are together, but instead she just raises an eyebrow at you. “Are you going to tell me how you want this table set up or am I just supposed to guess?”
“Oh– no, yeah, I’ll help.” Your cheeks heat up as you start telling her where you want everything placed and start to write the prices on the little chalkboard easel Pepper had put on the table. You quickly forget all about the incident as you start setting things up and your friends stop by the table to talk before going to tend to their own responsibilities. You don’t really pick up on the way they all point out Natasha’s presence, meaning to tease you, but you just tell them happily that she’d agreed to help because Kate couldn’t. 
The rest of the bake sale goes on like this until you run out of things to sell, some people making comments about how good of a pair you and Natasha made or saying something about how they didn’t realize you’d have someone with you here today. You seemed to ignore it, not saying anything about it or giving any indication that it made you uncomfortable, but Natasha was quick to pick up on what the implications were. It didn’t help, she realized, that the color palettes the two of you chose to wear complimented each other so well that it looked a little like your outfits were matching. 
The way in which you acted as if these comments were normal and that you might have expected them or even welcomed them makes Natasha’s brain go haywire. She can’t help but think of all the things this could possibly mean, but the final thought her brain lands on is that she can’t help but wonder if it would be wrong of her to bask in this for just a little bit. She had already not corrected Pepper when she implied you were together– though, that was more so because she didn’t want to embarrass either of you. So would it be so wrong for her to lean into that? To let everyone think you were a couple? To treat you like you were her’s for just a little bit? She doesn’t think so. 
You’re in almost a daze as the rest of the day goes by. Natasha takes you to the haunted house like you wanted and holds your hand the whole time so you don’t get too scared. If you had known Yelena was helping inside the house, you might not have wanted to go so bad. She’s still holding your hand when you exit the haunted house, and she continues to hold it when you talk to Peter and MJ when you spot them outside. She lets go when she gets a phone call and gives you an apologetic smile and excuses herself, but not before giving your hand a little squeeze, and you feel your heart leap in your chest. All of this feels too natural, being with Natasha like this. Holding her hand, laughing with her, walking with her. It’s now when you realize just how close you and Natasha have been all day and you stumble in the middle of your sentence while talking to MJ. 
“You okay there?”
“Yeah!” It comes out too loud and too quickly, “yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, you know. Long day and late night last night baking.” 
“Mm… Nothing to do with your woman over there?” MJ points not so subtly over at where Natasha is currently talking on the phone.
Your eyes go wide, “She’s not– she’s not my woman, MJ!”
“You’ve been holding hands this whole time and she’s… here instead of at work,” she gives you a look like she doesn’t believe you at all, “seems like your woman to me.”
“Yeah! Mr. Stark only ever takes time away from work if Ms. Potts asks him to and you know how they are, Y/N.” Peter chimes in.
You feel your face go red hot and you groan, “can we please stop talking about this right now?”
“Stop talking about what?” You jump when Natasha suddenly appears beside you and wraps her arm around your waist. 
“Oh, we were just talking about how scared Y/N got in the haunted house.” MJ lies smoothly before giving you a look. 
“Yes, but now we’re done talking about that and we should get back to our table to clean up properly.” You change the subject, trying not to focus on Natasha’s arm wrapped around you, but it’s lighting your body on fire and it’s very hard to focus on anything else. She squeezes your side softly and nods, “sure. It was nice talking to you, MJ, Peter. Good job on the haunted house.”
You barely let Peter get out a “Thanks, Ms. Romanoff!” before you’re slipping out of Natasha’s hold to grab her hand and practically dragging her away from them. She heard the conversation starting from you stuttering over the implication that you’re together, but for you, she can pretend she didn’t hear a thing. So, instead of bringing it up, she gives your hand a soft squeeze. “It’s okay that you were scared, you know? You don’t need to be embarrassed, Yelena can be pretty terrifying when you actually get a look at her.”
“Tasha!” You scold, swatting at her shoulder, “don’t be mean to your sister,” but you can’t help but giggle just a little bit. She only chuckles, and despite the way you’re both struggling to decide whether to bring your feelings up or not, you settle into the comfortable existence you share with each other. 
Before you know it, you’re in Natasha’s car again and on your way to her house. She said she just had a couple of things to do in her home office before she would take you home again, but she would try to be as quick as possible. Technically speaking, your mother should be done with Billy and Tommy’s school fair and you could just ask her to come pick you up, but you don’t tell Natasha that. You would much rather get to spend some extra time with the older woman (and you love the way her house smells) than go home and inevitably spiral as you think about the day and everything that’s happened with her before calling Kate and spilling everything. 
When you get there, she tells you to make yourself comfortable and help yourself to anything in the kitchen if you want to before she disappears into her office at the end of the hall. You settle down on her couch and scroll through your phone for a few minutes before you start to get bored. You consider the fact that Natasha is working on her day off and think that maybe she’d appreciate a coffee, especially if she didn’t have to make it herself, so you stand up and wander into the kitchen. It’s nice and modern, but it has a few personal touches that make it distinctly Natasha. You notice that the coffee maker is right on top of the counter and you look in the cupboard for a mug before you get started on making her coffee. 
You’re pretty sure that the only thing Natasha likes in her coffee is a little bit of sugar, so you take a little look around the pantry until you find some, and when the coffee is ready, you pour it into the mug before adding a little sugar. You hum to yourself and make sure you haven’t spilled anything on the counter, picking up the mug and then starting the path to Natasha’s office. This all feels so natural, that the usual nervousness of doing something like this for the older woman doesn’t even creep in until you actually see her. 
You knock on the door, waiting a second before opening it with your free hand. “Tasha?” You push the door open and Natasha looks up from the paperwork on her desk to greet you with a smile. “You get bored out there, sweetheart?” She puts her glasses up on the top of her head and turns to look at you properly. 
“I. um, made you coffee. I figured you might want some since you weren’t expecting to have to work today.” You walk towards her desk and when you’re close enough, she takes the mug from you and leans up to press a soft kiss to your lips as a sign of her gratitude, “thank you, sweetheart.”
Your brain short circuits.
She almost drops the mug onto the floor. 
You just look at her, frozen, for a few seconds as you watch the wheels turning in her head. She puts the mug down on the desk carefully as she tries to figure out what exactly she’s going to say now. She hadn’t even really thought about it before it happened, it just felt so natural and like something she’s supposed to and allowed to do. But in reality, kissing you has never been any of those things. She’s never done that before even that one time you got so drunk, you practically begged her to. She’s been very careful with her actions and with restraining herself, but now? What does she do now?
“Natasha...” Your voice comes out almost like a whisper and for some reason, you’re a little afraid that she’ll tell you to leave. That she had just been caught in the moment and she would never knowingly kiss you under any other circumstance. 
Natasha opens her mouth to speak, but then she gets a proper look at you standing nervously in front of her and she mutters a ‘fuck it’ under her breath. “Come here, baby.” She pushes her desk chair out slightly and guides you into her lap without any kind of resistance from you. You fidget in her lap, not used to this kind of proximity with the older woman. “I’m gonna kiss you again, alright?”
With those words, it’s like a switch flips and you surge forward to crash your lips against hers. She lets out a little surprised noise before she kisses you back properly, moving her lips against yours and resting her hands on your hips. She lets you lead for a bit until you get a bit too bold for her liking and she grips your hips harder as a warning. She was in charge, not you, and she was going to make that very clear. 
Almost immediately she’s dominating the kiss, and you tangle your fingers in her hair. Her glasses fall off somewhere behind her, but neither of you really care enough to check where. You only pull away because you need to breathe, and when you do, your chest is heaving and you’re a little dazed. Natasha coos and reaches up to cup your cheek, rubbing her thumb against your soft skin. “Do you need a little break, sweetheart, hm? You look a bit flustered.” She teases before swiping her thumb across your bottom lip, and you grumble slightly, “I’m not–” 
Natasha pushes her thumb into your mouth and presses down on your tongue before you can finish, “ah, ah, don’t talk back to me, Y/N,” she scolds, and you whine quietly. You want to bite down on her thumb in retaliation for the use of your actual name, but you know that will only make things worse for you. Not that things are particularly bad right now, you’d probably take anything Natasha gave you, but you’d prefer her cooing over you and doting on you at the moment. 
Instead, you suck softly on her thumb and you know it’s the right decision when she hums in approval. It was almost too easy for the two of you to fall into this rhythm, like you were meant for each other. You both knew exactly what the other wanted and you’d do anything to please her while she’d do anything to keep you happy. Her other hand squeezes softly at your hip before it begins playing with the waistband of your jeans. “We’ve had a long day, huh? You did so well at the bake sale, you deserve a reward, don’t you?”
You nod, looking at her pleadingly and whining softly. Your clothes feel too warm and you want her to touch you, and she’s wearing too many clothes, and you want to touch her, but her thumb is in your mouth and you can’t just push her away. So, you opt for looking like a kicked puppy until she understands what you want. 
“What is it, hm?” Natasha pulls her thumb out of your mouth and you chase after it slightly until you realize that maybe she wants you to actually tell her and you open your mouth to speak. Your breath catches in your throat, though, when her other hand trails down and cups your clothed cunt. “Do you want me to touch you, is that it?”
“Tasha, please.” You whimper. You can barely feel anything through your jeans and it’s already driving you crazy. You just hope she’s not the type to tease. 
“Alright, alright, arms up.” Natasha chuckles and waits for you to follow her instruction before slipping your sweater off over your head. Her eyes darken as she takes in your bra clad chest and she greedily gropes at your breasts for a moment. “So pretty,” she mumbles, leaning in to kiss softly at your neck.
You moan softly and you clutch at her sweater. Natasha’s hands on you feel better than you ever could have imagined, and you’ve spent more time than you care to admit imagining this. She’s not too rough, but she’s not too soft either. She touches you with the perfect amount of force and it makes your head spin. 
Her hands trail down your chest and then your stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake, before her fingertips dance across the waistband of your jeans. “You looked so cute today in your little fall outfit. Do you know how hard it was for me to keep my hands to myself?” Natasha pulls back, her skilled fingers now moving to unbutton your jeans. “You make things so hard for me, sweetheart. It’s like you’re trying to torture me.”
“I just like to look nice for you, Tasha. Is that wrong?”
“Up.” She taps your thigh, and you stand so that she can tug your jeans down for you to step out of. Normally, you’d be a lot more shy about undressing like this for the first time, but right now you just can’t seem to care. 
Natasha pulls you back down into her lap and then pulls you in for a kiss. Her hands find purchase on your hips and her tongue finds its way into your mouth, easily gaining dominance over you. You moan into her mouth as your fingers tangle in her hair again, trying to pull her impossibly closer. 
And then finally, after what seems like forever, she slips one hand inside your panties. The gasp you let out when her middle finger ghosts over your slit is like music to her ears, and she pulls away from the kiss so she can see your reactions properly. 
“No teasing, Tasha, please.” You whine, your hands dropping to her shoulders. “Shh, I’ll give you what you want, sweetheart.” She slowly begins rubbing circles against your clit and you’re all whimpers and whines as she does. 
She takes her time, using her other hand to tug the cups of your bra under your breasts so she can play with your nipples, pinching them and rolling them between her fingers all while keeping the same steady pace in slow circles around your clit. She basks in the noises she’s able to pull from you even with the lightest of touches. She considers taking you to her bedroom so she can fuck you properly, but she think she wants ot save that for another day. This will have to do for now. 
“Inside, please, Tasha.” You whimper pathetically, hands bunched up in her sweater as you try to be good like she wants you to. She takes pity on you when she pushes two fingers into your drooling hole. She curses under her breath, “God, you’re so wet, sweetheart. Is this all for me, huh?”
You nod, desperately wanting her to move her fingers. “All for you, Tasha.” You attempt to bounce up and down on her fingers, but her free hand moves down and holds you still. “Please, I can’t– mph!” You interrupt your own begging when Natasha begins thrusting her fingers in and out, the angle forcing the heel of her palm to press against your clit. You bite down on your bottom lip to stifle your moans, embarrassed about how loud you’re being already. 
“That’s it, baby.” Natasha breathes, taking in the sight in front of her with eager eyes, “You take my fingers so well, sweetheart.” She praises, curling her fingers inside of you. You reward her with a particularly high pitched moan and you just barely notice the pink tint of her cheeks. It seems she's enjoying this just as much as you are. Something about having you like this drives Natasha wild. Being able to hear your moans and see the expression on your face makes her almost lightheaded with desire. 
“Oh God, Natasha.” You moan loudly when she grinds the heel of her palm against your clit and presses against the sensitive spot inside you at the same time. Natasha coos, and it doesn’t take long with her fucking you like that for you to get close to the edge. “Tash– I’m gonna– Please–” You beg, pleading for something you’re not even sure of. 
“Shh, I’ve got you, sweetheart. Be a good girl for Daddy.”
Natasha’s words tip you over the edge with the help of her skilled fingers and she guides you through your orgasm, letting you ride it out before pulling out her fingers and bringing them up to her mouth. 
“Fuck, I don’t know if I’m done with you just yet. I might have to take you to bed instead of taking you to dinner.”
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writella · 6 months
Text
The Confession
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Synopsis: Confessions shared with the wrong person gone so sinfully right.
Details: rick grimes x reader, afab!reader, smut—masturbation, unprotected sex, riding, both rick and reader being desperate in the dark. I made the exact reason for the confession and occasion very vague. 18+, wc: 2.6k. Proof read, but there might be some errors.
A/N: Not sure how much I like this one, but I had this idea back in early October and I wanted to finish it and give you guys something after a whole month.
I miss you, I’m sorry. Hope you’re all well!! With love from writella. ♡
Your voice is solemn and heavy as you sigh before starting, “I don’t do this very often,” you say, “I hope this is okay.” Your eyes lowering shamefully as you stop. It’s only the first sentence and you’re finding it hard to continue. It’s almost as if there are needles piercing into your throat. “I just feel so embarrassed,” you admit.
Then you pause.
No response from him comes after.
Only silence fills the dark and hallow space of the wooden confession box. Only your thoughts, every creak you made on the built-in bench, and the light wind that rustled from the cracked door were heard.
You wait a second longer.
Hoping.
But still, nothing.
Part of you was suspecting that Gabriel would have been more inviting, telling you it’s okay; and doing so with his kind and gentle voice, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t doing anything it seemed. You only saw the silhouette of his face when you walked inside— the outline of a nose and mouth, really. He seemed to be sitting as far from the small barred window as he could, but you didn’t dare look again. You didn’t even turn on the light fixture in the corner. Your fear was all too big, and his unwavering quietness made it worse.
Maybe you had come at the wrong time, maybe you interrupted him. You almost wanted to ask. But maybe confessions happened in complete silence… you didn’t know anymore, but at this point, you were hoping so. You had already wasted five minutes and managed only one sentence. Perhaps he heard the fear in your voice and was just trying to be a good listener… yes, maybe, you pretend as you urged yourself to start again:
You breathe in sharply, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The words come out in an uneasy, hushed whisper. “It happens a lot and I know it’s wrong. And you’re probably going to look at me differently after this, but I have to tell someone so I can stop.”
Your eyes screw shut, the next phrase coming out jumbled and continuous as you try to explain yourself quickly: “I’ve journaled about it and told myself it’s wrong but it’s not helping.” You start to weep, almost laughing at yourself, “I feel so stupid.”
You sigh and you almost think you hear him do so too, but you keep going.
“I’ve been thinking about someone,” you finally say. “For a long time. And I know it’s bad, I know it, but I do it anyway. It's all I think about.”
Another pause.
You catch your breath.
You wait.
But nothing.
So, you start again.
“I think I love him sometimes.” And if you couldn’t get any more timid, your cheeks flush, and your voice grows quieter, “I like his hair, and his eyes, those button-downs he always wears…” you smile at yourself, these were silly things, “Even his beard.”
And then you hear him shuffle, and a light sound is emitted.
It startles you, but silence ensues again thereafter. Maybe you imagined it.
“I like his kindness too. People would usually say strong or giving, but that’s what I like to tell him— that he’s kind. I think he’s kinder than other people give him credit for. He’s just protective. Everyone, and especially himself, we put a lot of pressure on him to make the hard decisions, but, really…” and there it is, “that's not the only way I think about him. There are things–” your throat tightens again– “ things that I think about. And things that I do.” Your eyes screw tight as you force yourself to say it, “I touch myself.”
Another bout of silence comes before the question.
One you’d never suspect.
“Can you describe it?” The voice asks, dark and curious.
The cool spring air of the night turns cold, but it adds no relief to the summer heat that burns in your heart as it begins to beat painfully. The texture in his voice, the inflection at the end that lined the sentence as a request, it rings through one ear and out the other and back again in a cycle.
You knew who it was.
“What?” You shriek so lightly as if playing dumb would help you now. He knew who you were talking about, you made it so desperately obvious.
“Can you,” he repeats steadily, “describe it?”
“I… shouldn’t.”
“What other better time could there be?” You can’t tell if he truly means it. His voice remains firm and lets out no hints of his true intentions, but despite doubt, you start anyway. He’s right after all, you’re in here because there hasn’t been a better time.
“I- I start by touching up my thighs, trailing up slowly… I always get so nervous… I never do it fast because I know I shouldn’t do it while thinking about you- about him,” you correct yourself, squeezing your thighs together, your hands gripping the bench tightly.
“But you do it anyway.”
“I do,” you reply meekly.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?”
“I can't.”
“What happens when you finally reach all the way up?”
“Gotta touch myself.”
He puts his hands on his knees, making sure his voice stays leveled. “Where do you start?”
“Rubbing my clit.”
“Do it.”
And then you do. You truly can’t help it. Your fingers slide down your hips to the front of your heat, chilly fingers pressing up against your lips over your underwear.
He hears the little sigh as you finally allow your finger to reach your clit in between.
“How does it feel?”
“My fingers are cold right now, so,” a quick breathy laugh leaves you, “ good, really good.” You rub your fingers in slow circles, but your hand and hips jerk, forcing you to speed up, but you try, try to not seem so pathetic to yourself as if there was any attempt at going back now.
His voice’s a slight strain as he asks, “And what do you think about?” He starts to rub his thighs, feeling his cock stir to the side of his jeans, making the material feel tighter than it truly was. His fingers trail closer, knuckles brushing against his erection. He’s pretending like he can stop himself too. “What does he do in your head, sweetheart?”
“He watches,” you say as your movements speed up again. You really can’t help it now, his voice edges you on. Your hand goes under the band of your underwear, fingers collecting wetness below to bring up to your clit, “He’s standing at the edge of the bed,” you tell him, “he’s unbuttoning his shirt, and then he starts taking off his belt… He’s smiling.”
If only you knew that hearing how bad you wanted him was making him do the same thing on the other side.
You’re panting now, one foot comes up to the bench as you slide yourself over to press your back into the corner of the wall, your head tilting back as well, using the assistance to grind into your hand. “He thinks I’m pretty.”
“That's cause are.” He’s lowered his pants now and takes his cock out from under his boxers. Your words make his mouth gape and his eyes close as he begins to stroke himself. “You really are.”
His smile fades as he bites down on his lip lightly. You’re so needy for him and so desperate to admit it. It makes him feel powerful. Almost God-like, despite you both starring as the other’s tempter. So sweet and sinful the sounds you’re making are. How could he not give in? How could he not make you wet for him even at church and stroke his cock as it happens? You’re making it so easy with every whine and little moan you try to withhold. He could hear you getting restless, but he wants to make you want it more, “Keep goin’,” he tells you. “What’s happening now?”
“I put two fingers in,” you whine, “not big enough. Never enough.”
You let your two fingers stay inside you as you press your palm down on your pussy, rubbing your clit with the underside of your hand. You stop for a moment to take off your pants and underwear entirely, discarding it on the floor before you return to your spot. You put one leg up on the bench as you continue to finger yourself.
“I want him so bad.”
“How bad, sweetheart? What would you let him do?”
“Anything, Rick.” You say it louder than you intend, you’re losing yourself. “Anything for him.”
“Anything?”
“Everything.”
After that only nonsense comes out, simple sounds of desire and pleads. It was becoming too much to talk.
Rick felt the same. His hand on his shaft made quick and short movements, his lips parted and pink, more red on the bottom than the top from when bit his lip again at the words anything and everything for him. He repeated it in his mind, listening to your sweet little whines in the present. His head tilts so far back that it bangs on the wooden wall and he hisses.
It reminds him to compose himself.
Even after you let out another moan of his name, and he swears he could almost hear just how wet you are now, the squish of your fingers going in and out, louder and louder.
He swallows hard and takes a breath before he says, “What if I say I want you in here right now?”
That’s when your movements completely stop. You can hear the wind swirling again. You were speechless.
He turns to the netted window. You two can’t see each other but you know he’s looking. “C’mere.” He says slowly. “Now.”
And after that, your body takes control. Swift and instantaneous you move from your door to his, shutting it hard. You don’t even take a moment to look at him, it was too dark anyway, and that’s not what mattered. You’ve already dreamed of his curls, and the pierce of his blue eyes. You knew what he looked like. It’s time to know how he felt.
Rick takes off his shoes and fully lowers and discards his pants. Before he could even consider his shirt, you’re on top of him. You’re kissing his face, your lips and tongue missing his lips by just a little, but it doesn’t matter.
You begin to rock, your wet pussy making the length of his cock and thigh slick before it's even inside of you. You couldn’t help yourself and it makes him laugh, all cocky and proud. Something that you’d cross your arms to, even quip back at in any other situation but right now, it’s so fucking hot.
His hands latch onto your hips, his legs slide back to hit the wall. He raises your frame and you grab him. Your sticky fingers lace around his dick and then you both lower yourself down onto him.
You try to bottom out fast, but his nails dig into you, slowing you down. Your face reaches back with a pout and a whine as he says, “Wait,” even after he’s inside of you.
Your pussy quakes around him. You’re both trying to hold it together, but he’s faring much better than you.
His hand holds your jaw, thumbs caressing your cheeks and a tear falls from your eye, all the sensations becoming too much.
His eyes trail the sight as it rolls down and he tells you, “You’re right. I do think you’re beautiful.”
And he kisses you. Tongue slipping past your lips just as quickly as they depart, going to whisper in your ear: “Go on now,” he smiles, “show me everything.”
You begin to rock against him instantly. Initiating the kiss this time, your tongue slips into his mouth but his goes on top of yours. He grabs the back of your neck, deepening it, and you continue to take charge below as you ride him.
You squeeze around his cock tightly with every movement forward and you hear a strangled groan come out of him as his dick twitches at the sensation.
It makes you moan so loudly, you could wake somebody up.
But it doesn't matter.
You could even come right now just from feeling him inside you for the first time.
And it doesn’t matter.
“I've wanted you for so long, Rick!” You tell him.
He’s all that matters.
“You’ve got me.” He tells you breathlessly, kissing down your neck with his hand tugging on your hair. “You always could’ve.”
Now you know you’re all that matters too.
Your head tilts to the side, eyes closed, and mouth open for each pretty sigh and slight hiss that come out as he bites and kisses.
His hands lower to the hem of your shirt and he pulls it off. You start to undo the buttons on his too.
It’s fast and rushed and messy, but now your chests can meet. You press into him. Your hips are rocking hard. Your clit meets his pelvic bone making you whine and moan again. “Really good,” you say.
Rick’s hands slide to grab your ass, helping you go faster until they rise to your hips again. His thumbs press into the crevice of your hips and legs and he starts to bounce you on him.
You grip onto his arms, assisting him in his efforts. Your eyes are still closed, you’re smiling— already in a state of bliss, yet relishing in the fact that he was pushing you further and further into the dream-like feeling that was to come: your orgasm was close, and the string of airy moans made it evident to you both.
The way his hands move to caress your waist, trail up your back, roll over your arms, and back down again feels like gliding on ice. You felt him everywhere.
“Come on,” he tells you.
“I'm trying, I want to.”
“I know,” he affirms. He takes hold of your upper arms, letting his hands slide down to yours that tightly gripped his biceps and placed them on his shoulders.
You bounce yourself down on him harder, switching it up to rock on him and give your clit attention, then repeat it again.
Once you’re back to bouncing Rick takes one hand on your hip, helping you go faster while the other rubs your clit as vigorously as he can.
Your mouth is open wide, pants and squirms, and pleads coming out wildly. You almost feel like you’re making the whole box jump along with you as you bounce, and bounce, and bounce, and then… there it is: you shout his name and he speaks back to you, you both come together and ride out your high.
A glow emits as you smile, your head crashing into his as you catch your breath.
Then a noise erupts.
The church door closes.
Steps become louder and louder until they reach the open confession box door.
Rick puts his finger to your lips, silently quieting you both. Your eyes are owl wide knowing what the person in the next section would find in there. You almost squirm but Rick slots his finger into your mouth to stop it. “Quiet,” he mouths as the person next to you drops the wet garments they just touched, almost running out of the place as fast as they could.
You lower your face to his shoulder. Embarrassed, you sigh, “What are we gonna do now?”
Rick is unfazed: “Well,” he starts, picking you up by the hips, securing your legs as you wrap them around him, “we could do this one more time.”
He locks the church door and then walks you down the aisle and onto the podium, placing you gently on the ground. He’s standing above you. Just like it all your daydreams.
It was his turn now.
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byuntrash101 · 5 months
Text
what you deserve
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soft dom!juyeon x f!reader x mean dom!hyunjae smut | mdni 4.2k your bf younghoon is just a dick... your best friends just want to show you what you deserve nsfw tags under the cut
slut shaming reader (hj calls her easy), lots of teasing, fingering (because have you seen juyeon's hands? gotta put those to use), begging, pet names (princess, doll, baby, kitten), praising, degradation (slut, whore), slight dumbification, nipple play, unprotected sex but reader is on the pill (these stunts are performed by professionnals don't try this at home), spitroasting/eiffel tower, multiple orgasms (f), oral (m), creampie, double penetration, anal
a/n: would you believe me if i said it took 1 whole ass fucking year to finish this? (yes i started writing on the 1st October 22) (smh)
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Deep down you knew it wasn’t true. You knew Younghoon couldn’t be your soulmate. Most of the time he would ditch you to go hang out with his friends and not return your calls or texts for the whole night then turn up home completely drunk and smelling of an other woman's perfume, even if he denied it every time. So saying Younghoon wasn’t the best boyfriend was to say the least an understatement. 
Deep down you knew that. You knew he didn’t really love you but just used you for entertainment purposes. 
So why? Why? Did you still believe that little voice in your head? Despite the sleepless nights, despite the countless tears shed, despite the pain. You still believed you two had a chance, you still believed you could fix him… 
But did you still love him?
“What are you doing?” the stern voice of Hyunjae erupted from beside you, sitting with you on the comfortable and cushioned couch, making you jump and hurriedly hide your screen from his scrutinizing eyes.
“Huh? Hmm… Nothing” you lied, quickly typing out the rest of your text to your boyfriend.
“She’s talking to Younghoon” Juyeon snitched, seated right at your other side, as he perfectly accomplished a dangerous maneuver with Princess Peach’s pink kart securing the first place right in front of Hyunjae.
Hyunjae groaned but you didn’t know if it was because he was certain to lose the race or if it was well… because of you. 
“Y/N!” He shouted putting the controller down before even finishing the race.
Well… you knew now.
“I can’t believe you’re still with that fucking asshole” Hyunjae whistled through gritted teeth.
You knew Hyunjae despised Younghoon, hence why you were trying to hide away the screen from the eyes of your best friend. But as you turned the device the other way Juyeon snatched it from your hands. 
“What did she send ?” Hyunjae avidly asked.
“Please don’t read it” you asked Juyeon, pleading eyes bordering on begging to preserve the ridiculous trace amount of pride you had left and not read yet another text in which you bent over backwards for your ungrateful boyfriend.
“I’m not gonna read it” Juyeon declared. You exhaled in relief while Hyunjae scoffed. “But I am going to take it away for the rest of the night”. 
“What? Please give it back” you tried to reach for it but Juyeon was way taller and had longer arms there was no way you would be able to take it back from him.
“No. Just enjoy a fun gaming night with us. Okay?” Juyeon smiled at you with that adorable eye smile that you’ve been unable to say no to since middle school.
“Fine”
You played a little more Mario Kart but it was as if the atmosphere had changed.
“Can I ask you something ?” Juyeon finally asked. 
There he goes again… You thought.
The three of you were best friends for almost as long as you could remember and you knew them like the back of your hands.
When something awkward like that happened Hyunjae and yourself would rather ignore it and you would give each other time to forgive and forget but not Juyeon. He would just bluntly speak his truth.
“Sure” you said as you paused the game and Hyunjae groaned again.
“Why him?” Juyeon asked, putting his phone down. You sighed in annoyance and the 
question.
“I don’t know, Juyeon, OK? I don't know why I love him.” You said as you rubbed your aching temple.
“You can do so much better though!” He protested while Hyunjae looked at you with stern eyes.
“You deserve someone that’s going to be thoughtful and kind” Juyeon almost whispered with his deep voice, bringing the back of his hand to your cheek. 
With this simple touch the atmosphere had changed again. Juyeon’s cat-like eyes fixed on your lips, leaning dangerously as you felt his warm reassuring touch on your cheek. It felt safe and somehow you didn’t have it in you to pull away.
“Someone like me? Maybe?” he murmured, his lips grazing yours. He paused right there. Giving you one last chance to pull away, to remain faithful to your morals but… how could you? You felt the heat radiating from his face and his soft breath fanning your cheeks. You didn’t want him to stop. 
So he leaned in to close the distance between your lips and finally kissed you. The electric charge from the thrill of kissing your best friend traveled from your lips all the way down to your core, making your guts stir in excitement.
Juyeon’s hand moved from your cheek to your nape to gently press your lips further onto his own, slightly parting them to let his tongue lap at yours. Heat pulled in your lower stomach while your eyelids fluttered close, losing yourself in this kiss. Juyeon’s large palm sliding up your thigh as he kissed you softly.
“Right, my princess? “ he whispered, breaking the kiss, leaving your lips yearning for more, you nodded, looking at him through your lashes when you heard Hyunjae scoff behind you.
The brief sound brought you back to reality. You whipped your head to your side where you are greeted by the icy cold gaze of the older one, eyeing you scornfully. 
“You’re wasting your time” he said, maintaining the unwavering eye contact. “She doesn’t care about this…” he brought his hand to your cheek caressing slightly before he shifted to entangle his slender fingers around your hair “She only likes pain” he said before suddenly giving a quick and sharp pull, ripping from your lips a surprised whimper, which made Hyunjae smirk evilly.
“I knew it” he whispered, bending over you and pressing his hot lips to your cheek. "You only yearn to be treated like the little whore that you are. You want to be my little slut. Want me to hurt you, huh?" he said before he used your hair again to make you turn your head, breaking your neck into position and crashing his lips onto yours. The difference with Juyeon was blatant, overwhelming even. Hyunjae was devouring you. It was clear he wasn’t intending to ask for anything. He was demanding, he was taking what was his. And you were ready to give it all up to him… To them.
You felt Juyeon’s rough hands wrap around your waist from behind while he planted soft kisses and bites from your nape to your ear. Licking and nibbling around it while you felt his hands make quick work of rolling up your skirt past your waist line. You gasped when his large palm brushed against the thin skin of your inner thigh which Hyunjae saw as an opportunity to kiss you even deeper as you moaned into his mouth.
“Spread your legs for me, doll” Juyeon cooed, lips still pressed to the wet patch of skin on your neck. “Good girl” he praised when you did. His large palm brushed over your clothed center and you arched your back in an unpremeditated reflex, pushing your hips forward onto the older man. You felt Hyunjae’s lips pull into a sly smirk.
“Really?” he said, breaking the kiss “Already offering yourself like this?” he chuckled. "You're so fucking easy. Anyone could get it with you"
You whimpered and squirmed in embarrassment but kept your legs wide open nonetheless, which Hyunjae didn’t fail to notice. He scoffed.
“What a little slut you are” he drew back, eyes sweeping across your whole figure to finally settle on your most private part.
When Juyeon finally pushed your panties to the side and let the living room ceiling light shine directly on your center you felt like you were going to faint from the adrenaline rapidly rushing to your brain, making your breath itch in your throat. Hyunjae caught his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Look at that we barely even touched you and you’re already this wet?” Hyunjae spat with one cocked eyebrow, peering at your slicked and glistening folds with disdain.
You opened your mouth to talk back, to defend yourself but you could only deeply sigh in bliss as Juyeon's rough hand brushed against your unclothed bundle of nerves. And it was only then that you realized how right Hyunjae was and how wet you actually were. 
Your wetness had soaked through the panties and was nearly dripping down to the floor. Juyeon had no trouble gathering and spreading it all over you. He gently and slowly circled your swollen nub, teasing it, lewd wet and squelching sounds erupting from the shameless act. Making you inexorably wetter and hungry for more. 
He kept teasing you slowly as he laid wet kisses on the side of your neck, heavily breathing into your ear while Hyunjae palmed his hard member through his tighter-than-ever pants thoroughly enjoying you being spread in full display for him.
After what felt like hours of teasing you finally gathered the courage to protest in the form of a tiny high pitched whimper.
“What's wrong, my baby?” Juyeon huffed into your ear before sucking on your lobe, the heat from his mouth raised goosebumps on your skin.
“Please” you mustered, barely above a whisper.
“Please what?” he asked as you felt his lips on your neck being pulled into a smirk.
“Please I want your fingers inside me” you murmured as if you almost didn’t want the words you were speaking to actually be heard but to no avail. Both of your best friends heard you clear as day.
“Pathetic” Hyunjae said as he seemed to be palming himself with more pressure, looking anything but displeased.
“Anything for you, my princess” Juyeon cooed and immediately sunk his middle finger inside you, a disproportionately large palm resting over your mound. He circled his finger deep inside and you felt his blunt nail graze on your g spot which made you whimper and throw your head back, resting it on his shoulder.
The dull pleasure was making your head spin so much that you didn’t even hear when Hyunjae unzipped his jeans and slipped out of his boxers.
“Yeah finger fuck her. I’ll fuck her throat” he scoffed while he approached you, hard dick in hand. “Come here” he said as he forcefully pulled you towards him. The hot tip pressed against your closed mouth and precum glazed your bottom lip.
As if the stars aligned, at the exact same time as Hyunjae pushed his cock past your lips Juyeon slipped a second finger inside you, thick and long fingers stretching you out so perfectly. You moaned as Hyunjae slipped inside you, his taste spreading on your tongue, adding even more fuzz to your already foggy thoughts.
“Fuck” he said under his breath, grabbing a fistfull of your hair, bending your neck backwards and forcing you to look up at him. The pain on your scalp took your mind off the rising pleasure Juyeon was inflicting on you and you looked up at the older male with teary eyes while he kept on pushing his dick inside your wet mouth until he had to force the last couple of centimeters down your throat. And he stayed there. Look down at you as you choked on his length.
“Such a good girl for us. You take him so well, baby” Juyeon praised you as he picked up the pace, making your eyes roll back. “So pretty all stretched out and wet for us.”
“Keep your mouth open” Hyunjae whispered before finally pulling out to let you have a quick breather before he smashed his hips back into your face, setting a rapid rhythm. The burning sensation in your throat made your heart race and as Juyeon was having his way with you, circling and flicking your clit you felt the precious build up of your release forming in the pit of your stomach.
“Fuck” Hyunjae groaned as he kept on the furious pace. “It’s like this mouth was made for me. Perfectly fitted little cocksleeve” he tugged at your hair again, making you moan on his length.
You almost lost your mind when Juyeon brought his second hand to circle your clit as the other one was still pumping in and out of you. Your muffled moans grew louder on Hyunjae’s cock, the vibrations making him shiver. 
“Baby you’re so tight” Juyeon murmured in your hot ear. “You wanna cum?” he asked, slipping a third finger inside you and you almost came on the spot as you were deliciously stretched out top and bottom by your best friends. “You can cum, kitten.”
It’s the only thing you needed as your body was waiting for this command to immediately let go of the knot. You quivered and moaned, while your jaw went lax around Hyunjae. Your center tightly gripping on Juyeon’s digits, desperate to ever let them go. Twitching and spasming in delicious bliss.
“Good girl” Juyeon cooed as he gradually slowed down allowing you to ride off your high at your own speed.
“I can’t believe you fucking came already.” Hyunjae spat at you with mean eyes as he pulled his cock from your agape mouth, you took a deep breath and sighed in bliss.
But you looked down when you felt two hands going up your thighs and you were met with Hyunjae’s glacial eyes.
“You won’t need that anymore” without a heads up he tore away your panties, ripping them to shreds with a grunt as you gasped in surprise. “I want to know how this little pussy feels like” he whispered through gritted teeth, eyeing you like candy, avid hands pulling at your hips to bring you closer to the edge on the couch. In some kind of protective reflex you wanted to close your legs but Juyeon hands that were still glistening with your wetness kept them open.
“Can you be a good girl for us and keep your legs nice and spread like this?” his deep voice asked softly. The tone was soft, slightly contrasting with the strong grasp on both your thighs.
You nodded.
“Good girl”
Hyunjae didn't wait for a second. He brought his scolding hot tip to your folds and glazed himself into your juices, thoroughly coating his length as he pumped his fist around it a couple of times before pushing the tip in. 
Immediately your eyes rolled to the back of your skull and your arch your back into the couch, biting your bottom lip trying not to moan. That attempt turned out to be a failure as Hyunjae progressed inside your wet heat. When he bottomed out you let out a small cry of pleasure. As Juyeon felt your thighs twitch lightly he withdrew his hands to bring them up to your chest and kneed your breasts. His large hands lifted your top and pulled on your bra releasing your beautiful tits which made Hyunjae grunt as he fucked himself inside your cunt. Juyeon’s big palm laid over the two lumps of sensitive flesh and worked them gently, his fingers curling around your nipples to roll them around.
“So pretty, baby” Juyeon cooed into your ear, looking over your shoulder at how your tits bounced every time Hyunjae drilled his cock into you. Juyeon can’t take it anymore, he also wants to know how you feel around him and you feel him slip from behind you. You instantly miss his warm hands over your body. But the disappointment is short-lived. Because you feel his hand softly wrap around your jaw, pulling your face to look up at him. Your gaze quickly dropped from his gentle eyes to his thick cock laying heavily in his hands as he pumped himself a couple of times approaching the wet tip to your lips. 
Instinctively your lips parted to let your tongue swipe and have a taste of his essence. Which made Juyeon hiss in pleasure, fist growing stronger around his cock, making the veins of his forearm pop. He drove his cock into your mouth, earning a low grunt from him. You lips painfully stretched to accommodate to Juyeon’s girth.
“Fuckk” he cursed under his breath. “Such a good girl taking my cock like this”. He said wrapping his long fingers around your nape, giving you an encouraging push. You didn’t need more to quicken your pace, gobbling his cock as far as you could manage without hesitation.
“What a fucking whore” Hyunjae grunted as he gave you one particularly strong thrust, the sharp pleasure making you moan on Juyeon’s length. “You love cock so much? Look at you swallowing his cock like it’s your only goal in life?” He picked up the pace smashing his hips into yours. Your attention switching from Juyeon to Hyunjae. “Is that it? You’re only goal is to be filled with cocks?”
“Phhfuckk” you attempted to say, your mouth full to the brim.
“So pretty baby.” Juyeon cooed as he started to thrust into your mouth when your attention got diverted. “So pretty full of cocks”
The coil in your guts tightened again as your gaze fluttered between Jueyon’s soft smile and Hyunjae’s mean eyes. Once again close to the edge.
“Keep going. She’s going to cum” Juyeon said to his friend. Not daring to take his eyes off your wet ones. Hyunjae scoffed.
“Again?” he said, gripping your thighs tighter and drilling his cock into you harder as he felt your cunt clamp around him, dangerously fluttering. “Go ahead and cum. It’s all you’re good for.” he said, one hand leaving your thigh to slap against your cunt. The pain made you choke on Juyeon. 
“Fuck” he grunted while your mumbled intelligibly, earning another slap before Hyunjae started to draw small and quick circles on your swollen and painful little clit.
That made you cross the edge again. Your body shook against Hyunjae’s relentless hips. Your pussy clenching around him and fluttering in delicious and intoxicating pleasure. Screams of bliss muffled by Juyeon’s length, making him shiver, bucking his hips into your mouth a little harsher.
Hyunjae pulled out quickly and wanted to stuff you back but was interrupted by Juyeon.
“Come on man, it’s my turn now” Juyeon said, taking his dick out of your mouth, letting you take deep breaths as you slowly came down from your high.
“Fine” Hyunjae spat as he got out of between your legs. “I was almost done” he mumbled.
Juyeon sat beside you on the couch once again he looked at you and patted his thighs.
“Ride me baby” he said and you immediately hopped on his lap. Your tits shoved in his face he took a deep breath, letting his brain be soaked with the pheromone filled smell of sex that was imprinted into your sweaty skin.
You took his length between your fingers and pumped a couple of times before you sunk your hips into his cock.
“Ffffuck” Juyeon sighed, before licking a big stripe between your tits, collecting the glistening sweat.
Hyunjae didn’t miss one second of the show. He pumped his cock as he watched you bounce on his friend’s cock. Looking attentively at the way your pussy spread wide to take him in, spitting him out covered with your slick, all of that forming a beautiful soundtrack of moans, grunts and squelching wet sounds.
Hyunjae kept on fisting his rock hard and dripping cock as the same rhythm as you lifted your hips and let them smash back down. 
“How is it in there, dude?” he asked Juyeon.
“F-fucking great” he responded not taking your tits out his mouth.
“Yeah I know. Slutty cunts are the best. Because they just suit anyone.” He said letting his free hand slap your ass. Making you arch your back and bounce even harder. A silent plea for more. And it’s exactly what you got. “And this one she’s one real easy whore. Letting anyone fuck her raw” He spanked your ass again, even harder this times, leaving a beautiful print behind on your skin. “Isn’t it right, slut?”
“Yesssss!!!!” you panted, bouncing even harder, the familiar build up heating up in your guts again, Juyeon’s large hands gripping the underside of your thighs and aiding you bounce on him while he muffled his moans in your chest. “I’m a slut a real fucking whore for you. I love both your cocks so much”
“Is that so?” Hyunjae said, tilting his head, his lips being pulled in a sly smirk as an idea blossomed in his lust soaked mind.
He approached his tip to your ass, rubbing his hard-on on your cheeks. Before leaning over and spitting a big wad right into your pucker. Making the hole blink.
“Since you love our cock so much. You don’t mind me taking your ass, right?” he said pressing his tip still wet with your slick into your only available hole. 
“Oh G-god” you chocked when you felt your ass being spread open.
“Please” Hyunjae chuckled still pushing inside you. “Just call me Hyunjae” he said cockily as he pushed the last inch into your bottomless hole. 
“Fuckkk it feels so good” he cried out stopping your hips, your nails digging into Juyeon’s shoulders, urging him to fuck up into your cunt. He did so immediately. His dick grazing against Hyunjae’s inside your ass.
“Fuckk” the older one hissed when he felt the coming and going of his friend through the small membrane that separated both your holes.
He started to fuck into your asshole as soon as you looked accustomed to him. He loved to watch the way your asshole dragged into his cock every time he pulled out just to welcome him back into your warmth once he pushed back in.
“Fuck baby you’re so good to us” Juyeon as lightly tugging at your erect nipple with his teeth. “So pretty for us. So fucking good.” He panted fucking his hips uo into you, making your pussy cream around him, wet sounds bouncing of the walls.
He was so close. So fucking close he could taste it.
“Fuck kitten. I’m going to cum soon” he said, grip growing stronger on your thighs.
“Yeah please. Please!! Please fill me up!” you urged when you felt another slap into your ass.
“What a filthy fucking slut begging for cum like that” Hyunjae groaned. “Want mine too whore?”
“Yees fuck please. yesyesyesyesyes!!!” you chanted, feeling both of your holes grip around the cock that were both plowing into you, rearranging your guts so deliciously. 
“Then fucking take it” Hyunjae says slipping his hand into your hair and pulling harshly. Letting his cock pump your ass full of tasty hot cum, his hips absolutely rutting into your ass, grunting and moaning. So much so that it made the cum spill out and drip on his friend's cock. But both of them couldn’t care less.
“Fuck baby. ‘m- c-” Juyeon can’t even bring himself to make full sentences and follows right after Hyunjae. You feel his enormous cock twitch inside you, delivering an ungodly amount of white hot cum right in the deepest part of you, if it wasn’t for the pill you were taking you’d be sure to be knocked up right away. His dick brush again against your soft spot and the way you feel both your holes filled with cum make you tip over the edge. And you find yourself squirting all over both their dicks in a pleasure filled scream. Your juices spray out of you in big streams, completely soaking Juyeon laid under you which makes his hips stutter a little. This orgasm is the most intense one of the night, making both your holes flutter. Your cunt clenching around Juyeon and your asshole blinking around Hyunjae while you pant and moan in complete euphoria.
The next few instants are a blur. None of you speak, only pants and sighs can be heard. All three of you, piled up on top of each other, drained and content. But the blissful silence is interrupted by the low vibrations of a phone..
A phone? your phone!
Juyeon haphazardly reaches into the pocket of his jeans laying somewhere near and holds the device to you.
You have dozens of unread texts from Younghoon and even more missed calls. Poor thing… he’s not used to you going silent on him. Not his precious and naive girlfriend.
You pushed your messy hair out of your face and picked up the call.
“Yeah?” you say voice sounding a little rough, nothing surprising given the things that were just in your mouth and roughing up your throat.
“What the fuck are you doing? Why aren't you answering your texts?” Younghoon asks, panic seeping in his rushed voice.
Hyunjae chuckled coldly behind you.
“Come cuddle baby.” Juyeon said, pouting so much it was audible.
“WHO THE FUCK IS THAT???? Y/N??? IS THAT JUYEON???”
“Hmmmm” you hesitated before Hyunjae snatched the phone from behind you.
“You guys are done. Don’t call her again”
“WHAT THE F-”
bip bip bip
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IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤
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wongyuuu · 2 months
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lens of ice | yjh | two (final)
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pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, these people are just in soo love, smut word count: 17k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, masturbation (f) a/n: i can't belive i actually managed to finish this one! i started to write it maybe in october and it took me forever but here it is. again, thank you to @ressonancee for giving me the idea and putting up with my shit💓
part one || part two (final)
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The thought of going back on your word crossed your mind, truthfully. You weren’t even sure why you said yes to dinner with Jeonghan in the first place.
It was a recipe for disaster. It was the only way you could possibly describe the situation, to begin with. The flirting had gotten out of hand, to the point where Seungkwan was already angry and had said “if he grows balls big enough to ask you out, please say yes, this tension is annoying”. Vernon had agreed.
When you heard that from Seungkwan, you thought that he was crazy, that he had completely lost his mind. While it was safe to say that you had developed a crush on Jeonghan, something completely inappropriate in your work, it was hard to tell where he stood.
You liked to think that from day one you were able to say what was on Jeonghan’s mind. You had been able to say that he was holding back on his answers and you called him out on his shit, something that proved to be very efficient, because after that he started to answer all of your questions with honesty. Or at least, you liked to think that he was.
It never really crossed your mind that Jeonghan might have some sort of interest in you. You thought that he was flirting more for sport than for anything else.
The rumors ran around, about how he was sort of a player but he was careful not to date any other skater. Not to create a sense of discomfort, someone had said on a forum online.
It was something that you had yet to ask him. About his love life. And there were two main reasons for that: 1) you didn’t know if it was something that he wanted to talk about and unless he had a wife or a serious girlfriend, it mattered very little to the documentary; 2) you didn’t want to know the answer.
It had never happened to you like that before. You had done so many interviews, went to many places, met so many different people, and not a single one of them was able to captivate you quite as Jeonghan had.
You knocked on the door and waited. A second later, Jeonghan opened the door. You had grown too used to seeing him in comfortable clothes, shirts that were way too big for him, sweats. The only piece of clothing that showed any shape of his body were the pants he used to practice and even then, everything was hidden under a large hoodie.
The man in front of you had tailored pants and a dress shirt on, the sleeves folded back, revealing his arm.
You cleared your throat, suddenly unaware of what to say.
“I was thinking you had given up,” he said with a smile, almost uncertain.
You shook your head immediately.
“There was a lot of traffic today, it’s a friday after all”
It was indeed friday but there wasn’t as much traffic as you made it seem. The truth was that you were late to leave your apartment. Just as you were leaving you got cold feet and sat down on the couch for about twenty minutes, wondering if you were doing the right thing.
What if whatever happened that night, let it be good or bad, affected your job? Realistically speaking, there was no way that it wouldn’t. If it turned out to be a bad date, then things could get awkward. And if it turned out to be good you simply wouldn’t know how to handle yourself or him.
“Sorry that I didn’t take you out, out. And this is all that I had to offer”
He took a step to the side, giving you enough space to walk in. Although you had been to his home many times and sort of knew how it looked from the heart, it felt different to walk in without having Seungkwan and Vernon at your back, carrying one too many bags of gear. The place looked all too different and familiar at the same time.
“No, this is great actually” you smiled at him.
Your smile grew bigger once you saw the table he had set. The room was half lit by candles, in the center of the table was a small vase with fresh flowers, the city behind the window a perfect canvas. A bottle of wine waited for the two of you and the plates, delicate porcelain, were set. Instead of sitting opposite each other, Jeonghan made it so that you were both facing the window.
“You said you liked the night view,” he said while scratching the back of his head.
You turned to him, smiling, wanting to reassure him that it was perfect.
“I really do,” you said softly “Did you cook?”
The apartment smelled heavenly. It was the smell of homemade food if you still even knew what that was like. At least you had never ordered food that smelled like that. Maybe ordering was something that you weren’t that good at, or maybe Jeonghan was just one of those people who went above and beyond even when just ordering.
“I did,” he said proudly “I don’t know if it tastes good, but I followed the recipe to the T”
He pulled the chair out for you, his smile sweet while he watched you. 
The little butterflies on your stomach found life again, suddenly floating around. You wanted to face-palm yourself. Just a few months before you thought the worst about Jeonghan and suddenly there you were, saying yes to a date with him, your heart hammering inside your chest. 
With one of his hands still on the back of our chair, Jeonghan reached for the bottle of wine, pouring some of it into the glass in front of you.
You expected him to sit by your side but he took a step back, making a turn to the kitchen. You started to get up to follow him, but Jeonghan came back and pushed you onto the chair again. 
“Let me help you,” you laughed, looking up at him.
Jeonghan scrunched his nose at you and shook his head. 
“You stay right here. I’m just going to bring the food out”
He squeezed your shoulder before moving to the kitchen.
You rested your chin on your hand, looking at the city in front of you. There were very few parts of town that had such a beautiful view, not that you were one to enjoy looking at lit-up buildings. But maybe it was the moment, it was the way the way your skin tingled where Jeonghan’s fingers had touched you. You pressed a hand to your chest, urging your heart to calm down a little.
You liked to think that you were only feeling that way because it had been a long time since you had dated someone, since anyone had shown real interest in you, since you wanted to get to know someone past the work environment. 
There was a little movement to your right before Jeonghan came back into the room. He set the dish in front of you and while you weren’t too sure what it was — it looked like some kind of stew — it smelled and looked amazing.
“I have to admit that I don’t usually cook a lot, or at all most times” he laughed “Most times someone comes in and cooks enough for a week or two, following the diets I have to be on. So all I have to do is take it out of the freezer and eat”
You watched as he set the dish in front of you, steam coming out of it, and put some on the place in front of you. He did the same for himself before finally sitting by your side. 
“I never saw someone around here, besides Joshua”
You took a sip of the wine before taking the spoon in your hand. 
“She usually comes when I’m out for practice, or in these past few months…” Jeonghan was in the middle of his sentence when he saw your writhed face “What’s wrong?”
“I’m really sorry,” you said, covering your mouth with both hands, trying to hold back your laugh.
Jeonghan looked at you, laughing too, but he was in complete disbelief.
“It can’t be this bad” he reached for his spoon.
You were already laughing when Jeonghan started to cough, taking a large gulp of the wine. How had he managed to fuck up so bad was beyond him. He followed the recipe to the details but somehow it tasted bitter.
“Did you taste it, at all?”
“I… no?”
He groaned when you started to laugh at him again but somehow ended up right along with you. 
“I swear I followed the recipe,” he said again. 
He wanted to have a nice date with you and get to know you better. Although it wasn’t going exactly as he had planned, seeing you laugh like that, so loudly and carefree somehow made it all worth it. Jeonghan made a mistake that he shouldn’t have, one that with someone else would have turned the night into a complete disaster but with you, it became something to laugh about. 
And Jeonghan loved the sound of your laugh. Since he met you on that first day, he wondered what it would be like to hear it. You had gone off on him, baring guns in both hands, your hostility screaming at him the entire time. 
He had done his best, or at least he thought he did. However, on the very next day, you called him off on his shit and said that the footage they had was unusable because he hadn’t been honest enough. 
Jeonghan hadn’t been honest enough with anyone, ever. He wasn’t even sure that he was honest with himself. He always worried about whether or not he was able to move forward. Pushing forward was one thing, actually living was another one, entirely too different. 
Throughout most of his life, Jeonghan only knew how to push forward, like a bull. The world around him mattered very little, the people around him mattered even less. 
Somewhere along the way, Jeonghan became all too obsessed with numbers and the love he had for the sport became a shadow. Even then, when he was doing everything in his power to make it to the next Olympics, his last, he wasn’t really sure it was something he still wanted or if he was doing all of that simply because it became second nature to him. 
Skating was like breathing but it had become awfully painful to do so. 
And then you came in and for the first time, he wanted to impress someone. Who he already was, or the version of him he showed, did nothing for you. You looked bored most of the time. Talking with Seungkwan about it had made things clear in his mind. And he felt it in the way the original direction of the documentary had changed. 
It wasn’t just about the sport anymore, how he was healing to make it to the competition. It truly became about him. 
“Maybe something was rotten, don’t worry about it” you patted his hand, reassuringly. 
Jeonghan saw a chance and he took it, holding your hand. For a second your fingers stilled in his, your eyes a little wide looking back at his. He almost pulled away from you, his dropping a little when you didn’t seem to want his touch. 
Then your eyes grew a little softer and ever so lightly you held his hand back. 
“I really wanted to have a nice dinner with you, though”
You couldn’t help but smile at his cute pout. 
“Maybe we could order something?” you pointed at the wine in front of you “In my experience, wine and pizza are a great combo”
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You were the first one in the office, which was a first for you. Not that you were someone who was constantly late. It was just that you were usually the last one to leave. 
However, sleep wasn’t something that came to you. You were too giggly, your mind wandering through places that normally it didn’t so you thought that working a little was maybe a good idea to take your mind off things. 
Not things. Someone. 
Yoon Jeonghan.
Despite the initial accident, the night had been nothing but perfect. When was the last time you had fun? Actual fun, not the kind you sort of force yourself to have not to bother others, or to try to fit in some sort of situation. 
The night with Jeonghan had been so easy. Conversation simply floating around you. You didn’t feel like you were there to interview him or to be interviewed. You were just talking, getting to know each other in a way that was so entirely different from how things had gone between the two of you until then.
Jeonghan, you learned, was a menace in school and with his sister, always playing pranks and still somehow managing to get away every single time. I could make such an innocent face and everyone would just fall for it, he said at some point. There was no hint of regret in his voice and his eyes were filled with mischievousness while he talked. 
“There were these kids who made fun of me because I was a small kid. I tried to let it go but it went on for months. One day,” he said smiling, the memory of the day still completely fresh in his mind “I was already angry that I couldn’t make a move, I don’t even remember what it was, to be honest. They kept picking on me, saying these snarky comments so I waited. One of them left his bag behind, with his skates hanging off of them. I filled both of them with boiling water. I still remember his mother screaming at him”
You gasped, sort of laughing but also a little bit in shock at the mind of a 9-year-old. But awfully dangerous too, for both of them. 
“What if he put the skates on?”
It was hard to mask the horror in your voice
“It was after practice, while we waited for our parents to pick us up. He left his skates back and went to play because his mom was late. I just wanted to ruin his skates, not for him to get hurt. I took his takes to the kitchen, poured the water in, and let it sit there for about ten minutes before I put his bag back where I found it”
Your laugh was too spontaneous and Jeonghan couldn’t help but laugh along. Since the moment he saw you for the first time, he thought of you as beautiful but watching you laugh, so openly and carefree was breathtaking. His heart behaved in a way that he didn’t see coming. 
“I think we need to send you to a doctor because I refuse to believe you’re normal”
Suddenly just holding your hand wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss you, he wanted to know what it would feel like to press against yours and have you want it too. His mind, he had decided long before he even met you, was the kind that liked to play tricks. So maybe it was playing a trick and it came up with the thought that you wanted to kiss him too. Maybe he was imagining that your eyes moved from his eyes to his lips from time to time.
He wanted to make the first move, he knew that if he didn’t the chance of you doing it was very little. At the same time, he was scared that it might push you too far. You had gotten surprised enough when he held your hand.
Realistically he knew that it wasn’t much but the two of you worked together and there was still so much more to do, the Olympics were still months away. And although you weren’t going to see each other every single day in those months, you would still have enough meetings. 
So what if he read it all wrong and things suddenly became awkward again? The last thing he wanted to do was go back to how it was when you first time. You had been cold and distant but for an entirely different reason. 
“Jeonghan?” your voice had been the quiets he had ever heard from you “It might be the wine talking so if I do say something weird please blame it on the alcohol and tomorrow we pretend that I never said anything at all”
He looked the the two bottles already empty and the third one by the middle. It was, indeed, a lot of wine. 
“Is everything okay?”
You sighed, eyes closed for a second before finally looking at him again. 
“I need you to kiss me, okay?” you said exasperated “Because if you don’t I don’t think I…”
Jeonghan’s lips were on yours before you even finished what you were saying. He hoped that it was along the lines of I don’t think I will. 
Your lips, he decided right then, were his favorite thing in the entire world. He loved that when he pressed harder you made way for him, your lips parted to give him full access. Your hand moved from his chest, up to his shoulder, and then the nape of his neck, lightly tugging at his hair. And when you let out a small whimper on the back of your throat he swore his entire world almost became undone. 
The night had turned, somehow, into a make-out session. The two of you ended up on his couch, hands all over each other and bubbling laughter. And you refused to complain. It was everything you wanted and then so much more. 
Leaving had been so hard. All you wanted to do was to lose yourself in Jeonghan and all that he was and that silently promised to be, even if it was just for one night. You had to force yourself to leave and Jeonghan didn’t make it easier for you. If anything, he did his best to make it as hard as possible. 
He went down with you, and waited for the cab by your side, your hand tucked inside the pocket of his jacket while he played with your fingers. 
“You could let me take you back” you looked at him, eyebrows raised “I don’t mean driving but I could get in the cab with you and then come back”
“That’s just a waste of time. I’ll text you once I get home, I promise”
It was clear that your answer wasn’t the one he wanted but it was the only one he was going to get. He pulled you closer to him while you waited for the cab. The position was awkward you didn’t want to move, not in the least.
You were there for a couple of minutes before the taxi finally pulled up by your side. Jeonghan opened the door for you and waited for you to get inside. 
“Sir, I may not look like it, but I am crazy. So I hope you can get her some safe and sound”
The driver looked at you from his rearview mirror, eyes wide. 
“He really is” you played along “He once threw hot water at a kid”
Jeonghan laughed, a little too hysterically, too much wine you were sure. He stuck his head through the window and quickly kissed you. 
“Seriously, text me as soon as you get home”
With a groan, you hid your face in your hands, knowing fully well that the warmth in your cheeks didn't come from the weather but from the memory of Jeonghan. You laughed a little, remembering how you had to assure the driver that Jeonghan wasn't actually crazy and that he had never thrown hot water at a child. The man didn't seem to believe you but that mattered very little. 
You were overflown with a sort of happiness that was new and also so very scary. 
That giddiness was something you always wanted to feel, but never actually got around to it. Your previous boyfriends, not that there were many of them, never really managed to get that much of a reaction out of you. That was not to say that you didn’t like them at all, because you did. You wouldn’t have stayed with them for a second too long if there were no feelings at all involved. 
Your feelings for them, however, were so small compared with the way you felt about Jeonghan. It was one date, just one night, and it felt as if your entire life had changed in a way you thought that there would be no coming back from. 
“You’re early,” someone said behind you. 
You felt as if your soul had just left your body when your entire body jumped at the new sound. You had been so lost in your thoughts that you failed to notice Seungkwan walking in and of course, Vernon right behind him. 
“Jesus, what the fuck” you ran your hands over your face before turning around to face him. 
Like most mornings, Seungkwan had a coffee in his hand and his phone in the other one. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure you had ever seen him without a coffee in his hands. You weren’t sure how someone could drink so much coffee and still function but then again, he was drinking iced americano most times and the coffee in there had so much water that you were sure most of the caffeine was deluded so…
“So…” he wiggled his eyebrows at you.
God, you hated the fact that he knew. Behind him, Vernon also had an expectant face. Of course, he too wanted to know. The problem was that you didn’t want either of them to know. It was something you wanted to keep to yourself, locked behind countless doors. And maybe, just maybe, if you were lucky enough you’d get to savor that feeling again if a second date with Jeonghan ever happened. 
“Do you want to go over something or we can just… you know, work?”
“Aaah” he complained, carefully setting his coffee on his desk before spinning your chair until you turned to him “You can’t leave me in the dark like this”
“Us, actually,” Vernon said, doing the best he could to hide his smile. 
You had always thought that Vernon was someone who was on the quieter side of the world. Mostly he kept to himself but when paired with Boo Seungkwan? The man could be just as troublesome as the other one. Pair that with the fact that both of them were good friends who often went out together and you’d get yourself a perfect mix for a gossip disaster. 
Seungkwan, as the one who is so friendly everyone just wants to spill their deepest secrets because he looks like someone who’d always offer crazy advice. 
Vernon, as the quiet one everyone wants to tell their secrets because he looks like someone who’d keep all of them just to himself. 
The one thing everyone seems to forget is the fact that those two are friends and they talk. Hopefully only amongst themselves but you weren’t willing to bet on it. There was no way you’d want people to know that you went out with the one person who you were working with. The celebrity, most of all. 
“I’m not saying a word” you just shook your head and moved away from him "We have a lot of work to do, so get going".
“You’re not saying a word about what exactly?” Jihoon said, coming up from behind Seungkwan.
The younger man looked somewhat in distress, his eyes wide going from you to Jihoon, then back to you again. It was at that moment you realized that he had never really crossed your mind, in any way while you were Jeonghan, ever. He wasn’t even an afterthought or anything of the sort. He wasn’t even your boss. Jihoon was no one. 
“I went on a date last night, that’s all”
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It was as if you were the one entering the ice, the one who was being watched by so many eyes. Instead, you were one of the people watching. Your legs were shaking up and down, up and down, and there was no real way for you to stop it from happening. You felt as if your future was the one in line, not Jeonghan’s. 
To you, the only real consequence of him not making it was that that documentary would be canceled, for him it meant that everything he had worked for was lost and his last opportunity would never come. 
So, the reality of it was that you were nervous for him. Because you had finally gotten a real glimpse of Jeonghan and you knew how much it meant to him, all of it. He downplayed it, yes, but it was on everything he didn’t say. 
You could see it in his eyes whenever he mentioned figure skating, which was surprisingly very little when you didn’t have a camera on his face. It was clear in the practiced every single movement with such care, always aiming for precision, in an almost healthy way. 
Jeonghan downplayed it a lot but the sport meant everything to him. 
You sat in the bleachers, Seungkwan to your left and Vernon to your right. The three of you hadn’t gotten permission to be closer to the ice, or anywhere near really. Athlete after athlete performed, every single one of them doing so well that you felt your heart start to beat in a mismatched way. 
Your stomach was tied in knots, a lump on your throat as if you were about to spill your guts out at any given moment. You were too nervous and you hated it. Because if Jeonghan saw you, which you doubted, you wanted him to see someone who was confident and sure that he was going to do well, not someone who looked like she was about to faint. I will find you in the crow, he said the night before.
“You look like you’re the one about to be evaluated,” Seungkwan said.
He patted your hand, which unknowingly gripped your thigh as strongly as you possibly could, your knuckles turning white. 
“How did he do this for so many years?” you whispered
The question was more to yourself than to Seungkwan. 
In one of the many conversations, you had with Jeonghan, coming to mind. 
“The worst part of it all is being compared to other people,” he said, eyes distant, as if his mind was taking him to somewhere he didn’t want to be but at that moment he didn’t have a choice “Because what if I’m having a great day but the other isn’t? What if I had more chance to practice than others? What if I have an injury and the other doesn’t? We’re never on the same scale”
He looked troubled, eyes brows furrowed. You took his hand in yours, your fingers massaging his palm. His eyes looked a bit clearer when he turned to you but still, there was so much vulnerability in them. For a moment it was like seeing the same boy from the videos, someone who seemed powerful but was still so scared.
And ultimately that’s what it was. Fear. 
It was his last chance and he was scared if might fail. Jeonghan wasn’t too sure that he could live with himself if he did. 
“Truth is, there’s never going to be a scale. Ideally, it would be great but that is not the reality of it. I think your best should be enough, always. You’ve doing everything you can and we can all see it” you scooted closer to him on the couch, resting your shin on his shoulder “To me, you’re the best in the entire world, ever. It’s not much, I know, but I hope you know that I will unconditionally root for you”
Maybe it was unfair for Jeonghan to think like that, but for the first time in many years, he truly felt as if someone was by his side. You held his hand because you knew that he was scared, you cared and the reasons were yet unknown to him. Either way, he was going to hold onto it.
“I think that for people like us it sounds excruciating, but I bet he’s used to it” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back.
He hates it too, you wanted to say to choose to stay quiet. If there were things Jeonghan wanted to keep a secret, even if it was opposite to what you were supposed to do, you would keep your mouth shut. 
Even before the screams, you felt something swift in the air and it could only be described as Jeonghan. It was as if the air suddenly turned electric and his present, all on its own, larger than the small arena you were in. When you finally saw him, the air got stuck in your lungs.
On a daily basis, Jeonghan was an extremely handsome man. Almost inhuman and unfair to others around him. But that day, while he walked in, he was indescribable. Nothing about him was normal.
It was like seeing a work of art in motion as if a painting on display in a fancy museum had come to life and was walking among the mere mortals of that gymnasium.
Jeonghan wore blue, a color that you discovered was his signature. In every competition he participated in, even as a child, Jeonghan wore blue. Whether it was the entire outfit or just some detail. He always wore blue.
And then, like a moth drawn to a flame, Jeonghan's eyes met yours and he smiled. A different smile than the one you had seen him give so many times before. It was more natural, even sincere. You wanted to have smiled back and waved at him, but it was as if your entire body was frozen and any movement was impossible. And maybe you didn't want even more attention focused on yourself. The people sitting next to the three of you were whispering among themselves, so the last thing you wanted was for them to find out that that beautiful smile was directed at you.
"I don't know what's going on between you, but if someone smiled like that at me, right in the middle of the arena, with dozens of people watching, I'd get married immediately" Seungkwan didn't share the same feeling of remaining still and silent, but at least he was polite enough to whisper at your side.
A whimper escaped your mouth, but you chose not to say anything else. Because, in truth, you didn't even know what was happening between the two of you. There wasn't a conversation, a simple "yes, we're together", but whatever it was, however long it lasted, you were willing to enjoy every second of it.
Jeonghan positioned himself in the center of the ice, eyes closed, and took a deep breath, once, twice. The first chords of If I Could See You Again sounded through the scattered speakers and a new and completely unknown feeling spread throughout your body. Pride, perhaps.
One after another, Jeonghan executed the moves with precision, almost exactly like he had done in training. You couldn't tell if the differences were good or bad, which could take or add points to the total.
Almost at the end, with just a few seconds left until the end of the short program, Jeonghan lost his balance. Not to the point where he fell, but enough that he had to touch the ground to stop himself from falling. The three of them said, in unison, "shit", Seungkwan making a crying sound in the back of his throat.
With one last turn, the performance came to an end and the song ended. Even with the mistake, the crowd exploded in screams and applause. The famous rabbits and stuffed animals were thrown towards Jeonghan. Following the people around you, you also stood up, clapping your hands.
Your heart begged Jeonghan to look in your direction again, even for a second. Jeonghan raised his head and the smile he gave was that rehearsed one, that you had seen many times before and that wasn't even remotely real. The irritation at his mistake was clear in his eyes, but no one seemed to notice.
He bowed to the judges and the audience behind them, sliding across the ice to catch one of the swooping rabbits. Finally, he turned towards you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. Throwing all caution out the window, you said "you did well" without making any real sound and hoped he understood.
Despite the bad taste in his mouth, left by his complete inability to complete the performance without mistakes, Jeonghan felt as if the hand that was squeezing his heart loosened when he looked at you. He waved once more to the audience and skated to the exit. His coach was waiting for him. The man's face was a strange mixture of relief and frustration.
"You did well," he said, even though the words were the same as yours, the intention was completely different "It wasn't such a serious mistake, so it shouldn't have too many points deducted. If it goes well tomorrow, we can advance to the world championship"
Jeonghan nodded. He didn't need to hear that, he knew, better than anyone, what was at risk and what he needed to do.
A performance without errors, that's all he needed.
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At the request of Jeonghan's coach, there was no filming after the performance.
"He can talk about everything tomorrow. Now he has to focus on the free program"
You had no arguments to argue and you didn't want to either. Filming was, by far, your last concern. All you wanted to know was if Jeonghan was okay. You spent hours debating whether to call him or not, and in the end, you decided not to.
The big truth was that you had no idea where the lines were, which ones you could cross, and which ones you should religiously stay behind.
Therefore, you chose to send a text. Are you okay? was all you ask. Then you sat on the bed, legs crossed, and waited.
You didn't know what to do if Jeonghan would respond, or if he was concentrating to the point of not going near his cell phone - which was probably a good idea.
Jeonghan had the fourth-best score among short programs. Seungkwan explained that despite the mistake and the near fall, Jeonghan had moves that were considered difficult to execute and those were worth more points and he was precise in almost all of them, which resulted in him having a good score.
"If he hadn't made any mistakes, it's possible he would have come first," he commented, a hint of sadness in his voice.
Seungkwan was easily a fan. He didn't make the slightest point of hiding it. You weren’t one at first, you knew the bare minimum about skating, but as time went on, as you got to know Jeonghan, it was completely inevitable.
"I'm sure he can do it" Seungkwan assured.
The phone vibrated at first and half a second later the screen lit up and Jeonghan's name shone on the screen, a photo of his smiling face above his name. You hadn't uploaded a photo when you saved his contact, but you were sure who the culprit was.
"When did you put a picture of yourself on my phone?"
Jeonghan felt relief wash over his body just hearing your voice, knowing you were smiling on the other side. He was able to take a deep breath for the first time since the morning.
He couldn't quite understand how he had gotten into that situation. He couldn't even pinpoint a catalyzing moment, the moment he realized something was changing. One moment you were just someone he had to work with and then you became someone he longed for. There was no middle ground. It was like someone flipped a switch in his mind and his heart, as he could finally just be. No strings attached, no fear.
With you, he was simply Jeonghan, the person. Not the athlete, not the guy who appeared on television now and then. He was just another guy, with a normal job, a normal life. There are many normal ones, Jeonghan, yours may be different from mine and that's okay, you said it once.
Maybe that was the moment he realized he was in love with you. Maybe perceived isn't the right word, but it was the moment he allowed himself to feel.
"It's an inconceivable fact that you don’t have a picture of me on your phone"
You laughed at it and he wished he could be close to you. He wanted all your moments, no matter how small and bad they were, to be engraved in his mind.
"My phone has a password," you said. Your tone wasn't reproachful, you weren’t irritated. If anything, you were happy to be talking to him, that he was in your life.
"Your birthday isn't a very clever password," he said, laughing.
You wanted to ask how he knew, but the answer was pretty obvious: Seungkwan.
"Are you okay?" you asked, tone cautious. "No pain?"
You hated having to change the subject so abruptly, hated that you were the one changing the light tone of the conversation. But you had to know, you had to ask.
It was a second, nothing more than that, that turned on a warning light in your head. Jeonghan was sitting, waiting for his score announcement, when his face quickly contorted. It was there and then it wasn't. But you had seen that scene before, you knew exactly what it meant.
"Yes, I am," he said, still trying to keep his tone light.
"Jeonghan..."
He wondered when you were able to understand that he was lying. It didn't really matter. Jeonghan liked knowing that you knew him well enough to know the difference. It was the first time anyone cared enough to understand.
Jeonghan realized that by your side, he experienced many firsts.
"A little discomfort, but I told the doctor" he was quick to say, knowing exactly what was coming next "I have ice on my foot right now. I can compete tomorrow, it won't be a problem"
He wasn't lying. He felt the discomfort after his body cooled down and told the doctor. Maybe it was in the hopes of having a fair reason to give up. He had never talked about being in pain so quickly.
"I'm not confident" he admitted "It's like I was 12 again, in my first competition. I think I was more confident before, to be honest"
He lay down on the bed, staring at the hotel ceiling. It was a simple beige ceiling, hideous, but somehow, it gave him some peace of mind.
“You did really well in your first competition,” you said, hoping that would somehow help him.
Jeonghan just hummed in response but stayed quiet. He had too much on his mind, you knew. It was the shadow of a possible new injury, the idea of not being well enough to perform the movements easily, and the fact of not being confident. Everything had turned into a big snowball and he no longer knew what to do with all these problems that seemed unsolvable.
"Do you remember that day, when you were training and everyone was around? Even Jihoon showed up to watch, which was quite strange by the way" Jeonghan said yes, quietly, which was enough for you to continue " You weren't confident that day either and asked everyone to leave"
"Except you," he said.
"Yes, except me" you smiled, the memory still fresh in your mind, as if it had happened the day before, and not months before "We were there for another half an hour and you didn't make a single mistake after getting it right. I know it's harder now, that you can't kick all those people out of there, but you can imagine that it's just the two of us again. I told you before and I can tell you as many times as you need to hear, I'm rooting for you unconditionally"
Jeonghan sighed, his body finally relaxing completely.
"You could be more eloquent in your cheering," he said, his tone mocking.
"If I'm too eloquent, we won’t use Vernon’s videos," you said laughing.
Your laugh, Jeonghan decided, was the eighth wonder of the world. It was his choice and the only right one among all the possibilities.
"You could at least smile"
"That I can do"
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You sat in the same place as the day before, the only difference was that Seungkwan was on the left and Vernon was on the right. But you were in exactly the same place as you promised Jeonghan you would. Not that you exactly had much of a choice, it was assigned seats, but at least you were lucky to have the same ones.
Also like the previous day, Jeonghan was the last to compete. You watched them all carefully, trying your best to spot mistakes, but you could only see the obvious ones. When, for example, the athlete who was in second, taking into account only the short program scores, fell. You knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't contain your squeak of joy. Both Seungkwan and Vernon laughed, but you knew they shared the feeling.
Everyone wanted Jeonghan to do well, of course.
Exactly like before, the world seemed to stop when Jeonghan entered. And this time he knew exactly where to look, where you were in the crowd. When he smiled and you smiled back, he felt like he had made the right decision at some point. Because, somehow, you were there and everything seemed like it would work out.
And even if everything went wrong, Jeonghan felt like he would be okay too.
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You wanted to scream with the rest of the audience when Jeonghan took the podium in second place. You knew it wasn't what he wanted, but you also knew I wanted it more than he expected. But, as you had told him on the phone, if I were more eloquent, all the footage would be lost.
You excused yourself from Seungkwan and walked to the other side, where it was empty. When the silver medal was finally placed around your neck, you clapped and screamed like the other girls next to you. Jeonghan's free program was perfect, the deductions made by the judges, according to Seungkwan, made no sense at all - but you were sure it was the fan version of him speaking than anything else.
If it weren't for the lowest score from the previous day, Jeonghan would have been on the podium in first place. However, when he finished his presentation, he seemed to care little whether he had gotten a good score or the position he would get. He seemed satisfied with his performance. His smile as he bowed to the audience was genuine and joyful.
"Will you allow me to be honest?" Joshua said beside you.
You brought a hand to your heart, your body moving involuntarily away from him.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"
You smiled and shook your head. There were a few times that your and Joshua's paths crossed. He was Jeonghan's childhood friend and would occasionally appear. You were so focused on Jeonghan and on his performance that you hadn't noticed that you hadn't seen Joshua on either day of the competition.
“Of course,” you said clearing your throat.
Joshua stuck his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes still focused on Jeonghan who was walking down the podium and returning to the locker room. He looked at the medal, a small smile on his face, almost completely covered by his long hair.
"I thought you would be a problem, but I'm glad I was wrong"
When Jeonghan was out of sight, you finally turned to Joshua. He seemed to apologize with his eyes.
“A problem,” you repeated, to make sure you weren’t hearing things.
He scratched his head and smiled.
"Yes, a problem. You have become a central point for Jeonghan in recent times, I thought you could be dangerous to reach the goal of the Olympics. But looking at him now, I think you were never a problem, but rather the solution"
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It was impossible to contain your smile for the rest of the night. Everyone left together after the press conference, which for once was not a fiasco.
You and Jeonghan never told anyone else that you were together. You want to know for sure what it was. But when everyone arrived at the restaurant, the two of you, Seungkwan, Vernon, Joshua, and the coach, everyone just seemed to move in a way to let you and Jeonghan sit next to each other.
Every time he placed his hand on your leg, a new wave of heat spread throughout your body. You were sure that Jeoghan knew what he was knowing, that he knew the effect it had. When you looked at him, he was looking at you smiling. He looked like a naughty child, who knew he was up to no good and was just waiting for someone to show up and tell him off.
The coach seemed uncomfortable, and now and then he cleared his throat. He only knew the rumors about Jeonghan, he had never seen him with a woman before. Joshua acted as if it were just another day, something he was already used to. Seungkwan and Vernon exchanged looks and laughed, you were sure you would have to deal with them later. The teasing would be tireless and at this point, it would be impossible to stop rumors from spreading around the office.
The thought that others might know what was going on between you and Jeonghan didn't scare you, at least not the way you thought it would. You were afraid that people would think you were less professional because of this, and that you might lose credibility. But none of that seemed to matter.
For the first time in a long time, you were happy. You didn't care if they knew because, at the end of the day, it was nobody's business.
You had made a name for yourself and it had nothing to do with your personal life.
And Jeonghan... he made you feel things you had never felt before. Your other boyfriends, as much as you liked them, didn't compare. The feeling you had for them seemed insignificant in comparison.
You wanted, as absurd as it might seem, to take care of Jeonghan. Not that he needed it, you knew he could manage just fine on his own. You wanted to be someone he could share his problems with, someone he could count on. You wanted to be someone who could be a safe haven, someone he didn't need to hide from.
And you thought, to a certain extent, you had become that person.
And without realizing it, even if unintentionally, Jeonghan had become that person for you too. When you had nightmares you wanted to call him, to be comforted by his sweet voice. You liked it when he held your hand, just because he liked it. You liked that he sent texts at random moments that made you smile and that left everyone around you wondering what had happened.
You had never believed that I could fall in love, not like that. The mere thought of liking someone like that seemed impossible, at least to you. You still had memories of your mother crying, right after your father left. You had promised yourself that you would never let anyone approach you like that. But Jeonghan showed up and it was as if the thought had never crossed your mind.
After the initial shock of meeting Jeonghan, it was easy to understand why people fell in love with him.
Even at that moment, when he wasn't doing anything much, just talking to Joshua and Seungkwan, the infamous butterflies didn't seem to leave you.
"Do you want to leave?" he asked suddenly.
Everyone had already eaten and some were waiting for dessert. It felt wrong to get up.
"Are you tired?"
As if on cue, Jeonghan closed his eyes and yawned, making everyone laugh, even the coach. He grabbed your hand and pulled you lightly, his head slightly tilted towards the restaurant door.
"We're going now," he said as he took your hand and in his and guided you out of the restaurant.
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The thing about Jeonghan is that you never wanted to let him go. Once he was around you never wanted him to leave. So when he offered to take you to your room and said yes when you invested him in, you almost giggled like a teenager. 
Is that how people felt when they liked someone? You knew the feeling of liking someone, yes, but it was different. A new feeling that was both exciting and scary. Your brain was partially inclined to run away and partly desperate to just stay. 
When liking someone you always think back to your mother and how she never really recovered after your father left. Of course, she smiled and had many happy moments over the years but there was this distinct glow in her eyes that simply vanished the second he left. 
You had always promised yourself that you would never give someone that much power over you and while you knew that you weren’t quite there yet with Jeonghan, you knew that there was a high chance of becoming something so great one day you’d have no control over. 
Without much thought, you took his hand on your and kissed his knuckles. 
"What 's that for?"
You shook your head, still keeping his hand close to your face, sighing when he cupped your cheeks.
"Nothing, I'm just really proud of you. You did so well today"
Jeonghan laughed, his eyes going top your eyes then to your lips then back to your eyes again. 
"I didn't win" he felt the need to remind you.
You turned your face to the side and planted a kiss on the palm of his hand.  
"It was your first time back, you did fantastically"
"Thank you for being there," he said, voice suddenly serious "It really meant a lot to me"
You stood on your tip toes and gave him a peck on the lips. 
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.” 
Jeonghan wasn’t ready to let you go, not when he finally had you in his arms again, without anyone around. He pulled you closer to his body, his left hand at the base of your neck. He kissed your cheek, first the left one, then the right one, the tip of our nose until he finally reached your lips. 
At first, the kiss was sweet, tentative, kind even. The tip of his tongue touched your bottom lip. Suddenly it was like all hell had broken loose. It was him and you but everywhere. He ran his hand down your neck, to your back until he reached the hem of your shirt. Goosebumps erupted when you felt his skin over yours. 
His touch was so small, so insignificant, but it had such a great effect on you. You were out of breath partially from the kiss and partially from his touch. It was too little but also too much.
You pulled back from him and the look in his eyes was almost enough to bring you to your knees. You had never really seen the whole “his eyes darkened” thing but in that moment there was no better way to describe him. Jeonghan had a look in his eyes that you had never seen before, different from anything you had witnessed.
It took your breath away.
“I’m gonna” you pointed at the bathroom and quickly left him all alone in the room. 
You needed a moment, hell not even you knew why you needed a moment. Your heart felt like it was about to combust with how quickly it was beating. You just needed to gather yourself, and maybe calm down a little bit before you went back into the room. 
You twisted the faucet over the bathtub. A shower would have been faster, yes, but a little too fast. You didn’t wait for it to completely fill up to get in. You pulled your clothes off swiftly, leaving them on the floor beside the tub, before getting in.
Your mind was racing. Maybe a good way to describe it would be to say that there was a puppy with too much energy running from side to side in your head. 
Five minutes went by before you heard the door opening and Jeonghan walked him. To his merit, his eyes stayed on your face the entire time until he sat down by your side. 
“Is everything okay?” he asked, shin resting on the edge of the tub. 
That was such a good question because you had no idea if there was something wrong. There isn’t, a voice said inside your mind. There was no reason for you to have run off like that. 
“I’m not used to this,” you said as you reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers in his. His hand was so warm against your cold one “For a second it was too much”
“Did I…?” 
You started to shake your head before he could get another word out. 
“No, no, no” you sat down on the tub and moved as close to him as possible, spilling some water out in the process but Jeonghan didn’t seem to mind “I like you, really like you”
“Is that such a bad thing?”
“In my world? Yes”
In your world, Jeonghan had managed to gather, all emotions made you want to run away. It was easier for you to deal with the bad, the sad, the hateful. The good part of it was hard because you had no real starting point for it. 
“Let me show you my world, then”
He didn’t really wait for your answer and he leaned over the edge and captured your lips in his. His touch was tender as he crawled your face, leaving a trail of kisses from your lips, down your neck, till your collarbone. He smiled against your skin when he hit a sensitive spot that made you go a little breathless as a small moan left your lips. 
Jeonghan ran the tip of his index finger across the valley of your breasts before cupping one of them in his hand. His thumb running over your hard nipples. Your moan was swallowed by his lips. 
Your entire body became hot under his touch. Melting, falling apart and he had barely even touched you at all. It was too much but not at all enough. 
Jeonghan kept exploring your body with his hand, running it down your stomach. Ever so slowly he moved his hand further down. 
A gasp left your lips when his finger found your clit, drawing small, slow, circles. You leaned forward, your forehead pressed on the crook of his neck. His skin was warm, hot even. You turned your head to the side slightly until your lips came in contact with the skin of his neck. You pressed small kisses on him, sucking his skin at the same time he applied more pressure against you. 
Jeonghan pulled back for a second, his focus solely on you, on your hooded eyes, the way your cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink, how your lips were slightly parted, the way his name came out of your lips in the sweetest moan when his finger slipped over your folds, teasing your hole. 
He was so completely enamored by you, in ways he never thought to be possible. In his past relationships, he had always been careful. He didn’t want to get caught but also didn’t want to fall too much. His life only had one direction, one goal. When he was by your side he just wanted to slow down a little and enjoy every single second he could with you. 
Jeonghan wanted you to feel the same, this new sense of freedom that only came with these feelings, this desire to know every corner of someone’s soul. 
Your grip on Jeonghan’s arms thighed, your eyes watering as you let your head fall back. He pushed two fingers into you, slowly until he was knuckles deep. He sucked in a breath when your walls squeezed around his fingers, pulling him deeper as he curled his fingers and then slightly opened them. He rubbed the heel of his hand over your clit as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out.
He was hard inside his pants, the zipper of his jeans making minimal pressure, not anywhere close to what he needed but he was happy with what he got, with the day he saw you let all of your walls down around him. 
Jeonghan leaned forward a little, taking your lips into his, his tongue exploring your mouth as he moved his fingers faster, his thumb rubbing on your clit just as fast. 
“Jeonghan…” you cried his name, again and again as your breathing got shallow. 
You held his face in your hands, your thumb over his bottom lips, your eyes never leaving his as you became undone in front of him. Your legs quivering, your body arching until your chest was pressed against him, your loud moans filling the bathroom alongside the sounds of his fingers moving in and out of you at a relentless pace. 
“Don’t stop, please, don’t stop” you asked
He had no intention of doing so, not until your body stopped shaking until you rode the last of your orgasm.
It was the most beautiful sight in the world. The seven wonders? Nothing compared to you.
Breathing heavily you leaned over Jeonghan, small spasms still making your body shake. You had boyfriends before, fucked all of them, some of them weren’t even your boyfriend and it had never felt like that, earth-shattering, live altering. You kissed him tenderly. 
God, you  were in love with the man.
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You never thought of what it would be like to wake up in someone’s arms. It was never something you thought about too often when you had a boyfriend and it wasn’t something you craved. Being on your own, was something you were used to, whether it was on life or in your bed. Waking up to Jeonghan was something entirely new experience and one that you could never say that you didn’t like. 
His body was turned to yours, and his hand possessively held your thigh. Most of his face was covered by his hair and this time around you didn’t shy away from pushing it away from his face.
“This is not creepy at all,” Jeonghan said, his eyes still closed. 
You were startled for a second, your body involuntarily moving away from him and then settling back into him. This time your fingers weren't feather-like. You allowed yourself to fully touch him, to enjoy the feeling of his skin against yours.
“I can leave, if you want” 
You slightly rose from the bed, but it was far enough for Jeonghan. He tugged at your waist and pulled back on the bed and got on top of you.
“You’re not going anywhere”
Jeonghan pressed his lips over yours and you felt your body melt under him. Was there ever a better place in the world to be? You weren’t too sure if there was, but if such place even existed you didn’t want to know. 
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“Tell me a secret,” he asked.
It was almost noon and you were still in bed with Jeonghan. He had asked for room service a couple of hours before and after eating both of you got back in bed, cuddling like two teenagers in love. 
“I used to have a crush on Jihoon,” you said with a laugh. 
There was a moment of silence, Jeonghan's body growing stiff by your side. That wasn't your intention at all, you wanted to bring a laugh out of him, and not make him uncomfortable. 
“I don't think that's something you say while in bed with a guy, naked” 
You laughed giving him a quick peck on the lips.
“You said to tell you a secret, that’s the only one I have left to give you,” you said pushing a strand of hair away from his forehead, smiling at him “When I met him, I didn’t know that he was going to be my boss, in fact I thought that he was regular employee like me. A couple of weeks later I found that that not only he was my boss but that he also had a long-term girlfriend, who is now engaged to”
Instead of focusing only on the crush part, which was one Jeonghan had no real desire to know about, he turned all of his attention to the first part of what you said, that you had no other secret to tell. 
Though he thought of it as impossible, as everyone has secrets, he knew that you were somehow telling him the truth.
“And now?” 
He propped his chin on your shoulder, his eyes shining as he waited for an answer. 
You found that running your hand through his hair and playing with it was a new hobby and one that both of you seemed to enjoy. Jeonghan had fallen asleep twice while your hand was on his head.
“Now he's just a boss who's made me take a project I didn't want” you ran your finger over his nose and booped the tip “But now I’m really glad I did. Maybe the best decision forced on me in years?”
You couldn’t help but laugh when Jeonghan placed several loud kisses all over your face.
“Your turn” 
You lightly pushed him away, just enough to see his face again. 
“I’m constantly terrified,” he said after a few minutes in silence “I keep seeing myself falling on the ice, like it happened last night. When I close my eyes, that’s the only thing I see”
It was something hard to admit, even to himself. Failing was like a shadow that daily dark cloud following him wherever he went. His mind and dreams were filled with images of him doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do, of what he was expected to do. 
Though he had been practicing hard, to exhaustion even, and did his best to put a great face, telling everyone just how confident he was, the truth was that Jeonghan wasn’t confident at all in himself. The chances of him making it were very low and though he did manage to get a good score and placed high on the podium, he wasn’t sure it would be enough to get him to the Olympics, much less to win it. 
“I’m not a sports person, right?” Jeonghan nodded enthusiastically and pushed him, making him laugh “But I think sometimes falling is inevitable. You know something I believe in? You”
Jeonghan couldn’t help but smile at the words. He felt as if the hand squeezing his heart had let go of him. He felt light.
“If there’s someone in this world that can go through all of this, injuries, surgeries, rehab and still get to compete on the same level as before. Maybe even better. I believe in you. I hope you can too”
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Months Later
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Jeonghan hissed as he slowly pulled the sock off. The usually cream skin was turning an ugly dark shade of purple, his ankle already twice as big as was supposed to be. He wanted to scream out in frustration. 
Of course, he had to get hurt again, of course, it had to be on the day before he was set to compete. 
It was like whoever was writing the script of his life enjoyed putting him through pain. Jeonghan finally felt as if his life was falling into place. He was feeling healthy, he felt as if every time he got on the ice he was getting better, improving his performance every single time. And then there was you, who came into his life seemingly like a storm and turned his world upside down in ways he wasn’t aware he needed. 
He had never felt more at ease, comfortable, than when he was with you. It had been a very long time since there was any need to shoot at his place but he always found himself calling you, or going to you. On days when you had to work late, you’d still come over and crawl into his bed, attaching yourself to him as if it was where you were supposed to be all along. You’d place a kiss on his spine and drift off to sleep without a word. Then, if there was no early schedule or practice, the two of you would just take turns cooking and talking about everything and nothing at all.
When he was with you, Jeonghan knew he had found the balance he had always looked for. It wasn’t the loud and reckless kind of relationship like the one he had before. With you Jeonghan felt at peace, home in many different ways. He liked to think that you felt the same way about him too.
Maybe he was being too greedy in wanting the creer, the legacy, as well as the love life but there was no way he was willing to let either one go, even if it meant that his blood would be covering the ice at the end of his performance. 
“How are you” the door to his shared room was suddenly flung open and Joshua walked in “feeling…?”
His friend's voice got lower as his eyes moved from Jeonghan’s face to his ankle, then back to his face again. Joshua moved without saying a word. He opened the mini bar and pulled whichever can was colder. 
“Does Bumzu know about this?”
It was weird to hear his coach’s name and he wasn’t too sure why. He said the name countless times since he was a teenager, he even said it earlier that day, but you had never said it. You’d always refer to him as just coach, even while directly talking to him. You never said his name and the man didn’t seem to mind it either. 
Jeonghan looked back at his foot and then at his ankle. He had no idea how it had gotten that bad. He felt a little pain after the eighteen-hour flight so as soon as he settled down in his room he put some ice on it, which had seemingly done the trick. It looked fine. No purple bruise, no swelling. His ankle looked fine and felt fine, so he left to attend the open ceremony and then headed to practice for the next two days. He felt nothing. He was fine. 
Until he, clearly, wasn’t.
“Does she know?”
Joshua pulled his leg up on the bed and put his feet up on two pillows. Jeonghan hissed again when he felt the ice against his skin and let his body fall back on the mattress.
“No, and she can’t know” he covered his eyes with his arm, sighing “I’ll tell Bumzu tomorrow”
“Don’t you think this should go into the documentary?” Joshua asked as he rolled the can from his ankle to the arch of his foot rhythmically “Don’t you think your girlfriend should know about this?”
Jeonghan played with the word on his tongue for a second. Girlfriend. Neither of you had ever labeled the relationship, too focused on the moment, on enjoying what you had and charging forward together. A label didn’t seem all too important. It was the kind of relationship that was always evolving but somehow staying the same. 
“If she finds out, she’ll ask me to stop” he paused finally looking at his friend “And if she does, I will”
He couldn’t help but think about your face. The way you smiled while holding his hands in yours sitting on his couch, just a few minutes before the two of you had to leave for the airport. Your eyes shone as you told him how much you believed in him, that you knew he wanted to win but it would be okay if he didn’t.
It was the kind of speech he heard many many times before in his life and he always hated it. It always seemed shallow, just empty words thrown in the wind. But when it came from you, when those words left your lips they felt genuine, he knew it wasn’t something you just said because it was what you thought he wanted to hear.
“I’ll scream the loudest this time,” you said laughing as you ran your fingertips over his eyebrows and then tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. Jeonghan couldn’t help you lean into your touch. “I’ll be sitting away from Seungkwan and Vernon, so there really won’t be any way for me to ruin the footage”
The words I love you slipped out of Jeonghan’s mouth with ease, as they have always been there, like he was used to saying them. It was never been easy for him, even to his mother and sister. He loved them, of course he did. He showed it to them in all ways he could think of, but he never said. At least not as an adult.
Home, he had decided. Your eyes were his home. You were. 
Jeonghan was certain that he would remember that moment forever. The way you leaned forward, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The way you whispered I love you too. How you broke into a smile when you chastely kissed him and added so much it’s insane.
“Maybe she would be right” Joshua’s voice pulled him back to reality “Maybe you should stop. What if this gets bad enough that you can’t even walk anymore? What if…”
Jeonghan sat back up again. 
“Do you remember when we were kids and I told you that I wanted a gold medal, an Olympic gold medal?” he suddenly asked.
Joshua closed his eyes and sighed. Obviously, he remembered it but he wished Jeonghan didn’t. Most of all, he wished Jeonghan wouldn’t use a promise he made almost twenty years before. 
“Shua” Jeonghan pressed, his tone almost desperate. He felt bad, of course, but it was the only thing he had to stop Joshua. His last weapon to use. 
“I promised I would help in any way possible since we all knew I wasn’t that great of a skater”
It was a stupid promise, made by stupid boys but even as adults they both stuck to it, like it was some sort of pact.
“The best way to help is to keep it a secret for the next 3 days”
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The thing about competitions is that they are exhausting but not just for the people actively competing but for those working on the sidelines as well. you had been following Jeonghan for months now, to all sorts of competitions, rehab, and just his life in general. 
In almost all of them he managed to make it to the podium and each time he looked brighter, and happier with his performance and the outcome. Though everything seemed to be going just fine, there was this itch in the back of your mind, telling you that there was something wrong with him. 
Jeonghan seemed to be taking good care of his body and he was periodically going to the doctor. You weren’t too sure if that was a good thing. On one hand, it was good because it meant that he was in constant care for a serious injury. But it could also mean that he was in pain and that itch on your brain was right. 
Whatever it was, Jeonghan wasn’t willing to share. He kept saying that he was fine and you were trying to believe him, you really were. But there was something in his eyes, in the way his body moved a little more stiff than usual. He had not looked at your direction once - which was something unusual.
The rational part of your brain said that it was just stress, crazy high amounts of it tugging at all of his nerves and muscles. It was his last chance so it was natural. He was an athlete focused on the competition ahead, of course, he would be a little different from what you were used to seeing. 
However, the irrational and insecure part of your brain told you that regretted saying that he loved you and didn’t know how to take it back. That didn’t make any sense at all. Jeonghan wasn’t the kind of person who just said things to please the people around him. He would rather keep quiet than say something he didn’t mean. You knew that. You knew him. If he said it, then he meant it. 
So why was he…
“Is he hurt again?” a familiar voice asked to your right. 
You had completely forgotten that Jihoon would attend as part of the documentary crew. He had mentioned it the last time you spoke on the phone a couple of weeks before, he also sent an e-mail the day before you left but it had completely escaped your mind.
You blinked at him, your brain not fully registering what he said. 
“What?” you asked.
Jihoon raised his eyebrows at you. He pointed at the rink where Jeonghan and the other skaters were warming up. His warm-up was different from what he usually did. He was just moving around, barely using his left foot. 
“He’s not using his foot a whole lot” Jihoon pointed out. 
He kept talking but his voice became just a distant sound as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, frantically searching for Joshua’s number. He was by the rink talking, in what you assume to be a hushed voice, with Bumzu. 
You bit your lips while the phone rang. Despair spread through your chest when Joshua pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed it to the coach. Both men visibly sighed. 
Tears started to well up in your eyes the moment Joshua’s tired voice greeted you.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Tell me what’s wrong with him, please” you begged.
Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around, making sure that you couldn’t see his expression. A terrible sign.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, everything is going according to plan”
“I may still be confused about some rules but my eyes work just fine, Joshua. Something is wrong, even Jihoon can see it”
You watched as he shook his head. 
“He’s just hiding his game. We prepare a new program, entirely different, he doesn’t want to show any of it or overwork himself during the warm-up”.
Alarms went off in your head and a whinny sound left your lips. You were well aware of the three pairs of eyes on you, judging the very uncharastically way, so unlike yourself, you were behaving but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 
“Listen“ Joshua’s tone was stern, irritated. Not once had he sounded like that “This is a competition, the biggest one could ever take part in, as well as his last one ever. Yes, things are different this time around. I need you to understand that and not add any pressure or stress on him. Can you do that?”
He didn’t really give you a chance to reply.
“He’s here as an elite athlete and you’re here as the documentarist in charge of capturing every second of it. I highly suggest you start acting accordingly”
The line went mute. The pressure on your head, on your heart, was so big you let your body fall on the seat again. Joshua had never been quite as harsh on you, or at all. He had always been soft spoken, and polite. You doubted that even under the obvious stress of the moment he would act like that. Something was definitely wrong but he wasn’t willing to share, which meant that Jeonghan’s condition was bad. It also meant that he didn’t want you to know what was wrong, the extension of the problem.
Seungkwan was suddenly by your side, his hand on your shoulder. You pushed the single tear that rolled down away and stood up again. 
“Is everything okay?”
You just nodded and took the camera he had in his hands, adjusting the settings as an excuse to stay quiet long enough to be able to regain your ability to speak once more. You pushed the camera into Jihoon’s hand with a little more force than necessary, not really caring that he was your boss. His only reaction was to furrow his eyebrows at you one more time. 
“Make yourself useful, will you” it didn’t matter if he was there to just watch or not “Do not lose coach out of sight”
You turned your body to Seungkwan and Vernon.
“Seungkwan, you're with Joshua. Vernon and I will focus on Jeonghan” you pointed at the seats you were supposed to take, indicating that Jeonghan would have two different angles on him, Vernon simply nodded “Jeonghan’s condition is less than ideal so we need all of their reactions. Don’t miss anything, every blink is important”
Seungkwan called your name, his fingers gripping the sleeve of your shirt around your wrist. The concern was evident in his eyes. He wanted to ask, but wasn't sure if he should and you weren’t sure you could speak without breaking into tears. Whether his concern was for you or Jeonghan, you didn’t know. Perhaps a mix of both. 
“It’s our job, we should act accordingly”
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Jeonghan finally let his body fall on the bed. It had been a long day and he had never felt more exhausted before in his life. But more than that, he was in pain. 
His first program had drained him. 
Every time he moved his foot it was as if a needle was being forced into his bones. Truth be told, Jeonghan wasn't even sure how he was still standing, how he still managed to walk straight without curving his body in pain. Skating was still a wonder in itself. The idea that both his mother and sister were watching from home maybe was something that helped push him forward. Maybe knowing that you were somewhere in the crowd also helped. 
He didn't dare to look for you, didn't dare to look in your direction but he could swear that he had heard you cheer every time he landed, every time he executed a new movement. Having you there and hearing your voice, even if it was a daydream of his crazy mind, had been enough to push him to the end of the program. 
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and reread your text for the hundredth time. He just stared at his phone for the better part of the day, like the small device held all the answers in the world. All it did though, was call you and that was something that he didn't allow himself to do. It was what he wanted the most, to hear your assuring voice, but he shouldn't. He couldn't. He was satisfied just looking at the black screen when suddenly it lit up with a notification and your name attached to it. 
"I will always be rooting for you! No matter what happens you'll always be number one" a second later another text followed "I love you"
Your message was sweet and loving. Jeonghan knew what it meant though. You didn't say anything, but it was clear that you knew something was wrong. Joshua had assured him that he didn't say anything to you but you weren't dumb.
He felt bad for keeping it a secret from you, for pushing you away, but in his mind, it was his only option. It turned out for the best that his coach and the federation didn't allow you and your team to follow him. Watching from the bleachers was all you could do. 
Even if their decision somehow benefited him, Jeonghan hated it. He hated the idea of everything that was going wrong. He hated that he was in pain, and once again, hated that the one person he wanted to comfort him was the one he was pushing away. In a way, he felt as if he was drowning and there was no one to even see that there was something off with him. 
Jeonghan heard the door opening but he didn't turn around in bed to see who it was, certain that it was only Joshua or maybe Bumzu coming in to check on him. He just turned further into his pillow, wishing for the day to be over soon. He couldn’t even think about his performance, which hadn’t been bad, to be honest. 
“So you get injured again and you decide that I shouldn’t know. That’s not very nice, Jeonghan”
He felt his heart in his mouth and he jumped on the bed, suddenly sitting on the middle of the mattress, grimacing when he felt a sharp pain up his leg.
“I wonder who you wanted to keep it a secret from, the team in charge of the documentary or me”
There you were, leaning on the door with your arms crossed over your chest, frowning at him. He could cry while looking at you and perhaps the tears were inevitable because his eyes were already burning.
“How are you here?” he managed to ask.
You gave him a sheepish smile and showed him the badge on your neck. A picture of Joshua greeted him while you took a step close to him and Sar by his side on the bed.
“I stole Joshua's badge and wore it flipped around, no one really bothered to check if it was really me”
You took Jeonghan's right hand into yours, intertwining your fingers with his. It was almost a natural movement at this point and you weren’t surprised when he leaned forward and rested his forehead on your shoulder.
Throughout the entire day you had thought about what you would do, how you'd approach him. There was no right way to do it. You had two options: scream at him and tell him to just stop, that it wasn't worth it, or you could just be there for him, offer him your support in any way you could. And while the idea of screaming was great, you knew that it wasn't going to do any good. In fact, it would probably only worsen the situation that was already bad.
“I don't know what to do,” he said, slightly turning his head towards your neck and taking a deep breath, allowing himself to be completely lost in your scent.
“How bad is it?” 
If Jeonghan wasn't willing to share it with you, decided that keeping it a secret was his only option it was probably bad but as moved away from you and pulled his pants up you enough to show the purple bruise on his ankle you realized that it was far worse than you could have imagined.
“Oh my God” you covered your mouth to stop yourself from saying anything else. 
You thought back at his program, how he executed all of it flawlessly, how he was in second place — only 0.2 behind the first place — how he had a real chance at winning despite all odds.
“It looks worse than it feels, but it doesn't feel good either”
You pushed his hair back, away from his face. His eyes were filled with unwashed tears, so desperate. Seeing him like that was like having someone squeeze your heart with all of their strength, as if trying to turn it into ashes.
“I'm so close to it and I can see it, it's right there. If I just…” he balled his hands into fists as tears finally ran down his face “I just need to do well, do what I've been practicing and I know I'll get it. But this…”
He punched his thigh, eyes closed.
You took his face into your hands, delicately making him look at you. You had no idea that your heart could break just by looking at someone, had no idea that you would feel that way for someone else in your life. It was a crazy thought, a realization that there was someone else in the world that could make you feel like that. 
When you told Jeonghan that you loved him it wasn't a lie. You didn't just threw those words around. Your heart was his and it was shattering for him.
You knew what it meant to him, all of it. Jeonghan might have made it seem as if he was just there to win and call it a day but you knew that it ran deeper than that. It was his last everything when it came down to it. His last competition, yes, but it was also his last everything. The last time he could say figure skater Yoon Jeonghan, after that he would just be retired. He hated the media a little too much to try and be one of those sports celebrities. 
“If they tape you up, give you enough painkillers, do you think you could do it?” your words were shaky as you spoke “Do you think it's possible?”
Jeonghan couldn't really believe his ears, in what you were saying to him. He was certain that you would tell him to stop, that it was okay, that he didn't have to go all the way to the end. It was a good run, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, he could almost hear your voice in his mind. 
But right there, in front of him, you stood doing the exact opposite of what he expected.
“I thought you'd tell me to stop”
You kissed his face, close to his eyes, where his tears had stained his cheeks. The first one was quick, the second lingering a little bit more.
“I probably should, but it's not what you need” you kissed his forehead, nose, and lips “You're a force to be reckoned with, Jeonghan. If there's someone in the world that can compete in these conditions it's you”
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Your heart was oddly at peace with everything. Sneaking into Jeonghan's room had been reckless but necessary, for both of you.
It was scary to imagine him getting injured again. You knew how hard he worked to be able to even get on the ice at all. You knew what it meant to him, so telling him that it was okay to just try felt natural and in some ways the only right option. 
Leaving his room had been hard. All you wanted to do was stay there with him, comforting him, in silence. You just wanted to be by his side but you knew that wasn't possible so you left after kissing him.
Maybe telling him to push through was a bad call, maybe telling him to quit was what was best for him but you tried to put yourself in his shoes. Had it been you, with your last chance ever, would you stop or would just just say fuck it and go down trying?
The answer was easy: you'd do the exact same.
“So…” Seungkwan asked as the four of you walked into the gymnasium “Is he okay?”
Seungkwan was a good friend and someone who worried about Jeonghan. He had been the first one to warm up to him and talk with him. Jeonghan liked him too, calling him Seungkwannie and even inviting him for dinner on occasion. 
“Not really,” you said as you finally found your seats “But he's going to compete anyway”
“Can he even do that?” Jihoon asked, “Should he do that?”
Your shoulders rose as you sighed.
“He's doing what he thinks is the best option for him”
The conversation ended just like that. There was nothing left to say. All any of you could do was sit and wait.
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Jeonghan skated into the rink. His face was serious, no emotion on display. It was a mask of a man who was focused on what he had to do. He eyes the center of the rink, unblinking. 
His costume of choice was very simple, just a plain black blouse with silver and blue details on the sleeves and around his neck. His hair was tied back and away from his face. 
Looking at him one wouldn’t be able to say that he was in pain, that his ankle was twice its normal size, so close to just giving up. No one could tell that he was shaking. It was imperceptible to those on the bleachers that his heart was beating so fast, so loudly, that he could feel it in his ears. 
He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Once. Twice. Again. He thought of you, with your hands clasped together in a silent prayer, he thought of his mother and sister watching him from home. He thought about himself two and a half years before, how hard he had worked to get to that rink one last time. He thought back to his ten years old self, when he first dreamt of the Olympics.
Winning was his only option. 
Jeonghan opened his eyes as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 
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The entire gymnasium erupted in loud cheers while Jeonghan thanked the audience, one side, then another. He bows his head a few times, catching one of the bunny dolls thrown at the rink in mid air. His smile is beautiful and large. He became pure happiness and you know that it couldn’t be any different.
Jeonghan managed to deliver his performance in complete perfection, no obvious mistakes were made. You were certain the judges would find something to deduce points but there was no way that he wouldn’t place first.
He waved at the crowd and somehow the cheering got even louder. It’s not his home country but it felt as if everyone in there was applauding him more than all of the athletes before him. And maybe that was really the case.
Jeonghan’s injury had been disclosed to the public right before the beginning of the competition and people love the idea of someone who can overcome whatever it is that stops them, an injury, a disease.
Jeonghan whirled around one more time, hand in the air waving, when face his contorted, his beautiful smile gone and he fell to his knees.
One second.
Two seconds.
Five seconds.
He didn’t move an inch, he didn’t get put but he also didn’t do much else. It was when you started to worry that there was something wrong. Even from that far back, you saw his arms shake, his eyes shut close, and his hand balled into fists. It became painfully obvious that there was something wrong.
The cheering and applause didn’t stop or got quieter. If anything, the volume only got louder. The crowd seemed to think that he was still thanking them, that he was overwhelmed with emotions, that he was exhausted after such a perfect performance.
He did the unthinkable, he managed to finish his performance flawlessly, lading jump, after jump, after jump. And he did, on the last performance of his career, at his last Olympics.
Jeonghan hadn’t announced it yet, but that was his last everything. After that day, he would leave behind his days in figure skating and would try to search for something else to do with his life. It was the last of him, ever, and he ended it on such a high note.
After more than a year of following him, talking to him, and understanding who Jeonghan was and what his stage persona was, you knew that it was not the emotions he was feeling. Although the man could be very humble at times, he wasn’t to that extent. He wouldn’t be on his knees for a full minute.
That’s when you saw coach run to the ice, two paramedics right behind him.
You rush down the bleachers, trying to see what’s happening on the ice while trying not to fall face first. The coach talked with Jeonghan, and whatever the older man said got a reply and Jeonghan shook his head. You didn’t know what he’s saying.
I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I’m not in pain. I’m just tired.
Those are the words you wished he said, on just a collection of them
Vernon took the camera and did a run down of the crowd before turning it to Jeonghan, still on his knees. You didn’t know what to do. The two of them were right behind you, Vernon and Seungkwan, their footsteps way too loud for you to notice that the crowd had finally stopped cheering, finally noticing that the situation wasn’t as good as they first expected it to be.
Your eyes never really left Jeonghan. The only thought going through your mind at that moment was to get to him as fast as possible, to hold his hand. That simple action wouldn’t mean much, you knew that, and you would do it more for yourself than for him. But you liked to think that in such a moment, he would want you by his side.
The paramedics raised Jeonghan, his arms around their shoulders while they carried him out of the ring. One of his feet slides with ease, while he holds the other one up in a weird position, slightly tilted back.
That’s when you knew. The issue on his ankle. He took it too far with the performance and practices, landing on it time and time again.
You stopped in your tracks and turned around. You pressed your hand on the lens of Vernon’s camera pushing it until he finally lowered it.
“Stop filming, right now” it wasn’t a request, your voice wasn’t kind. It was an order, one you needed him to follow “From now on, nothing gets filmed”
Vernon looked confused, his eyes darting to Seungkwan, as if asking for help in a way.
“But it’s our job,” he said.
You shook your head.
“Our job, what we needed to film, ended the second he landed that jump. Now it’s not the time to record him”
Seungkwan understands what you’re saying, he too pressed a hand on Vernon’s camera, pushing it even further down, shaking his head and his friends looked at him worried.
You turned away from them, eyes immediately falling on Jeonghan.
For a moment you thought that they wouldn't let you through. Security had no idea of who you were. So why would they let a strange woman be anywhere near the athlete? But they did let you through. You didn’t know how, you didn't know why, but you also didn’t dare to question.
They just moved out of the way, making a path for you. You followed the coach back to the locker rooms, ignoring the fact that you shouldn’t be there, not in the male one anyway.
You finally reached Jeonghan. His face was pale, paler than usual, his lips were turning purple.
“Jeonghan” his name leaves your lips in a breath.
He reached a hand for you once the paramedics laid him down on a stretcher.
“Baby,” he said, voice barely above a whisper “I did it. Did you see it?”
You pushed his hair away from his forehead, surprised with his cold sweat.
“You did it, you were fantastic”
He smiled at you, his eyes not really focusing on you or on anything else.
“I think I broke something,” he said, voice low “I don’t know, it just hurts. A lot”
You looked at his coach, the man didn’t know either, but his eyes were focused on Jeonghan's ankle. Your eyes move to the paramedic, who as carefully as possible trying to remove his skates.
The doctor that accompanied Jeonghan since the surgery finally approached him. The man too looked as white as a candle.
Jeonghan had finally taken it too far. 
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“You cut your hair, '' you said, as you tucked your legs under your thighs, sitting comfortably on the fluff carpet in Jeonghan’s living room. 
Seungkwan stood behind you and by his side was Vernon. It was the place where it all started, so it seemed fitting that it also ended there. 
Jeonghan nodded, running his hand through the loose strands. You drummed your fingers over your thighs, thinking about how just a couple of hours before you were playing with his hair while he had his head on your belly because your stomach is being noisy and I want to sleep when you told him he could move, he just hugged your waist tighter rubbing his face on your skin nope.
“I thought it would be a good change” he pouted a little, unconsciously “I still need to get used to it.”
Why did you think it would be a good change?”
He narrowed his eyes for a second. He had that conversation with you before. For a moment he forgot that the version of you he talked with was his girlfriend, not the documentarist sitting in front of him. 
“I started to grow my hair after the whole incident with the press” he made a dismissive gesture with his hand “I think I sort of wanted to hide from them and the hair helped a lot. In a way, I think a new haircut symbolizes a new start? You know, now that I’m no longer an athlete”
You nodded, smiling at him. It always took his breath away, your smile. He loved the way you had been constantly smiling around him, the frown that seemed to have a permanent stay between your eyebrows when you first met was nowhere in sight.
“How does it feel, being retired?”
“If you asked me that four years ago, I’d say that it sounded like my words nightmare. But now after so many injuries and surgeries, it felt like the timing was right. If you think about it, the way it ended for me was pretty epic”
Jeonghan matched your smile as the memories started to flood his mind. The way he almost blacked out due to the pain in his ankle, the way the crowd screamed so loudly and he refused to believe that it was because of him, at least not until Bumzu came back to his side, his eyes red with unshed tears.
“You fucking idiot of a human, you did it”
You had kissed his temple multiple times, telling him how brave he was, how strong he was. "Most people would have walked away before even getting on the rink” you had said later that night after all of you had finally gotten back from the hospital. Jeonghan was prohibited from using his foot and needed to have surgery once again after the worst part of the swelling subsided. 
He remembers refusing to be taken away to get his ankle checked until he saw with his own eyes that he had won. He was carried out by Bumzu and Joshua despite the doctor’s cries that he should be taken to the hospital. You followed the three of them close behind. 
Jeonghan smiled at the screen hanging from the roof. His name stood at the top of the list, in big letters, the number one attached to it. 
As he stood on the podium, gold medal around his neck, Jeonghan saw you clamming and screaming, a huge smile on your face as tears ran down your cheeks. He had finally gotten his wish, to see you being as eloquent as possible, cheering for him. 
“Most people would agree with you”
“I feel bad about making my family worry though. But they understand, I think”
His sister has screamed at him over the phone, angry that he asked them not to go watch him — mostly because he was scared to have them there while he failed — that he never told them about his injuries. But also happy for him. Truthfully he didn’t understand some of what she said, talking while crying was not her forte. 
You looked back at Seungkwan over your shoulder and both of you nodded. Jeonghan watched as you closed the small notebook in your hands and put it aside. 
“This is the last question of this documentary, so make your answer a good one, okay?” you said teasingly “Now that you can’t skate again, what are your plans for the future?”
Saying that Jeonghan wouldn’t be able to skate again was maybe a little exaggeration. Sure, there was no way he’d ever be able to compete again — nor did he wanted to —, but maybe after he was all healed he could do it again just for fun. That wasn’t something he was going to say directly at you. You had gotten worried after his new injury that even conversations about past competitions made you shiver, it had gotten so bad that you had nightmares about him getting hurt again and in those his end was never quite as good or epic as the one he actually got. So Jeonghan thought that it was for the best to not talk about it, at least for the time being while he still hadn’t been cleared by his doctor.
“With my career?” he bit his lip, truly thinking about it “For now, nothing. I’ve been competing for almost twenty years, in the rink for about 22 years, I think I deserve to stop and just not do anything for a while. In my personal life, I want to spend some time with my family, which is something that I always skipped because practice was just more important. I haven’t spent a birthday with them in years”
He tilted his head to the side, his eyes on you. 
“I have a girlfriend, right. And she had this little notebook, I think she might be a little obsessed with notebooks and pens, and everything stationary related” he whispered the last part making you roll your eyes “She writes in those places she wants to go to. So, if I can convince her to take a few vacation days, I want to take her to those places”
“You suck,” you said.
“You didn’t seem to…”
Seungkwan took a step forward and blocked the view of the camera, his eyes wide.
“Okay, that’s a wrap everyone! Thank you!”
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metalhoops · 1 year
Text
Dating Steve came with a lot of unexpected twists. The first and most glaringly obvious was that Eddie never expected the two to date in the first place. He’d  relegated the idea of ‘dating Steve Harrington’ squarely in the realm of fantasy, along with evil wizards and hell dimensions. So what did Eddie know? It’d been a strange year.  
Steve was a morning person, much to Eddie’s dismay. The downside of sleeping beside a morning person, and being hypervigilant about their every move, was that it forced you to become a morning person. Eddie blamed the aforementioned evil wizard and hell dimension
Before Steve, Eddie would be lucky to roll out of bed before noon. Yet now he begrudgingly found himself up with the sun. At first, he’d tried to roll back into bed when Steve left for his morning jog, but he was finding it harder and harder to get back to sleep. He’d worry about Steve, sue the guy. The town was cracked in two and they were all waiting with bated breath for Vecna to return. So he’d sit on the front stoop of the trailer with a mug of coffee in his hand and his blanket around his shoulders, waiting to see Steve’s familiar figure materialise at the end of the trailer park’s gravel drive. 
Another unexpected twist about dating Steve was how much the guy genuinely cared about the stuff Eddie was into. He’d started sitting in on Hellfire and Eddie’s band rehearsals. Eddie would sit up late at night creating new NPCs for their campaign and Steve would watch curiously or surprise Eddie by sliding over and skimming over his notes. 
“Make the shopkeeper guy a goblin,” Steve remarked and Eddie would snort. 
“You only say that because you like it when I do the goblin voice.” 
“Yeah, because it’s funny and none of the kids are going to want to flirt with a goblin.” Steve was still horrified and emotionally scarred from the time he’d watched Mike Wheeler try to seduce the elven barkeeper during the last session. 
“Are you saying you wouldn’t flirt with a goblin, Harrington?” Eddie teased putting on the silly and grating tone, Steve had affectionately named Eddie’s ‘goblin voice’.  He leaned over into Steve’s space, placing an overdramatised and sloppy kiss on Steve’s cheek.
He snorted and shoved Eddie’s shoulder gently. 
“Don’t push your luck, Munson. I love you, but not that much.” 
And of course, Steve had been the first one to say ‘I love you,’ because Eddie had always been a coward. Of course, Steve said it at least once a day, and of course, Eddie still hadn’t gotten the courage to say it back, because he kept waiting for the day when he woke up and realised that his whole relationship with Steve had been an elaborate dream. 
Eddie didn’t know exactly what made him decide to start joining Steve on his morning jogs. Ask anyone and they would tell you Eddie Munson was not a jogger. Steve talked about his morning runs like they were a meditative experience, all cool breeze, still streets and dopamine. 
Eddie went for a jog and felt like his lungs were twin stars on the brink of collapse. To him, running was akin to the slow heat-death of the universe, but he did it because he was sick of sitting on the damn stoop waiting for Steve to come home because he loved him and he sure as shit didn’t know how to say it. 
The next surprise came early one morning in late October, when he and Steve climbed out of bed without needing an alarm and Eddie found the cool breeze on his cheeks and the familiar beat of Steve’s steps in time with his comforting. That morning, he realised he didn’t hate running, not when it was with Steve. The revelation shook something free in Eddie’s skull, something he’d been grappling with for months. 
When the two arrived home, skin sticky with cold sweat, Eddie made them coffee. They sat together in front of the trailer watching the sun turn the same blood red as the Upside Down sky. Eddie thought he’d be okay with starting every morning like that, so long as Steve was there. 
“You know, Stevie,” Eddie breathed, unable to look at Steve when he said what he needed to say. He was brave, but not that brave. 
“I think I love you too,” Eddie whispered.  
“You think?” Steve chuckled at his side. He turned to face Steve and saw the man hiding a wide grin behind his mug. Eddie rolled his eyes and nudged his shoulder against Steve’s.
“Alright, fine. You win. I know. I love you.” 
Eddie had to fight to get the words out, but the second he did, he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders because he knew it was true. It’d been the first time he said it to anyone. He’d never gotten that far with another relationship. He and Steve were in uncharted waters. 
Steve set down his cup, practically tackling Eddie to the dirt with the force of his hug, all hope for not making a big deal out of the confession blown out the window. Of course, Steve was a hopeless romantic. 
The only thing that stopped the two from making out on their front lawn was the fact that Hawkins was the antithesis of progressive. Well, that and a sleep-deprived Max who stomped out of her trailer to throw a balled-up pair of socks squarely at Steve’s head as she grumbled about the hour of the morning. 
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nolita-fairytale · 8 months
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what it would be like meeting mikey berzatto as the most important person in carmy's life:
a/n: ok so it is in fact canon in my 'make my heart surrender' series that the main character never got to meet mikey. however, i've been thinking a lot about what it would be like if she had met him when she and carmy were working together in new york so i wrote a lil somethin' about it. it can absolutely be read as a standalone piece with a pastry!chef reader.
takes place october 2021; reader x carmy are best friends and colleagues but it has not gone further than that.
trigger warnings: drug usage, high mikey b, swearing, family drama, depression
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how you end up meeting mikey:
halloween weekend of 2021. mikey ends up in new york city for the weekend because he followed a weekend fling for a party. they got into a huge fight over who knows what, and he finds himself in new york city, figuring he might as well go see his brother.
it's a busy night at the new-york-city-fine-dining-establishment-that-shall-not-be-named, carmy is knee deep in expediting while the pastry side just happens to be overstaffed.
your general manager, kate, comes in, letting them know that there's a man outside who's asking for carmy. "he says he's your brother." "my brother?" while carmy doesn't think he can step away, in one shared look, you decide to go since you're his best friend -- the only one he trusts to handle it anyways.
you head out to the front of the restaurant to address the situation finding michael standing outside of the restaurant, pacing on the sidewalk. you recognize him from photos, but he looks different, and it's not hard to figure out that he's kind of strung out -- high on something, though you're uncertain of what.
"you're not carm." "no, i'm not. sorry, but carmy couldn't come out. so he sent me." "shit... the guy can't even make time to see his big brother?" "i don't think he was expecting you." you watch as michael's eyebrows rise in reaction to your comment. "he would if he could. it's just... we're doing 400 covers tonight and uh... well, he runs the kitchen so." disappointedly, as if he's accepted that he's not going to see carmy after all, he says, "yeah yeah okay... i didn't know i'd be here either. i just, i -- i gotta catch a flight anyways. will you let him know that mikey stopped by?" "of course."
by the time you get back in the kitchen, you want to protect carmy from the state michael was in so you don't mention the fact that he was high. "what did he want?" "just wanted to stop by. i think he uh... found himself in the city. surprise trip or something." but carmy doesn't completely buy it, instead, focuses, head down on finishing dinner service.
at the end of the night, carmy offers to walk you home, so the two of you head out of the restaurant, eager to unwind from a long night. as you're leaving, michael's still waiting outside of the restaurant and he doesn't look great -- looks like he's coming down from whatever you assume he took.
"michael, what're you doing here?" carmy asks, in shock that he's even here in the first place. "thought i'd come surprise you." "i mean, what're you doing here? in new york?" mikey sighs, a smirk on his face as he answers with: "never trust chicks on motorcycles, carm. they'll leave you high and dry in a brooklyn loft for a few good lines of coke. he chuckles. and while he doesn't exactly find it funny, carmy makes his best effort to try and laugh too, it coming out more like a dry exhale. mikey pivots, as if he's putting on a well-practiced happy face, though there's a sadness in your eyes that you think may haunt you for the rest of your life.
"i'm sorry. where the fuck are my manners? i'm mikey. mikey berzatto. i'm this jagoff's brother." you introduce yourself, and mikey's enthusiastically corralling you to grab a drink with him. carmy keeps looking over at you as if he's checking in, trying to get a read on you as he hesitates to answer. cautiously, you agree, wanting carmy to spend time with his brother. "one drink," he warns mikey.
the three of you make your way to a bar across the street that's open late, and as soon as michael has his first drink, it's like he's a completely different person. he's charming, larger than life, quite the storyteller and you see a side of carmy that you've never seen before. as you watch him listen to his brother, you can see just how much he admires his older brother. while you know carmy is hurt that michael barely calls or makes an effort to keep in touch, sitting here with him now, you can see the way that carmy looks at him -- like he put the stars, the moon, and the sun in the sky. there's a deep admiration and he's almost childlike in the way that he looks up to him.
after the first round, you head to bathroom, wanting to give him and mikey the time. carmy had promised one drink, but you're open to staying if he wants more time with his brother.
"this your girl, carm" "mikey, stop it." "then please tell me you're hittin' that." "michael!" carmy hushes his brother, a warning and protectiveness in his voice as he does. "are you fuckin' serious right now? what, you're teling me you're not?" "she's.... my friend." "shit. wish i had a friend like that. ya friends or are ya... you know... friends?" carmy just shakes his head, jaw clenched, glaring at michael, wishing he'd stop. "shit, i thought i taught you better than that, bear." "just friends. i'm serious, mike. cut it out." "oh come on! the chick's smokin' fuckin' hot. and i can tell that you like her. i'm not blind, bear. i see the way you-."
it's that sentence that pushes carmy in a way that he doesn't like at all. "don't talk to me like you know what's going on in my life." "carm-." "can't even pick up the damn phone and then you just... waltz into town acting like everything is okay?" "well, if you ever bothered to come home. you know mom's been askin' about you. never fuckin' call her-." "oh don't bring mom into this!"
when you return from the bathroom, there is a palpable tension between the two of them that you're not sure how to navigate the thick silence stewing with things left unsaid.
"everything okay?" you ask.
"i think we should go," carmy grits out, clearly upset over the conversation that just transpired between them. "uh... yeah, okay." "it was nice meetin' you sweetheart," mikey grunts, an empty shot glass that wasn't there previously on the bar top. carmy noticeably rolls his eyes at mikey's comment as you grab your things and close out your tab.
on the walk home, you ask: "you wanna talk about it?" "not really," carmy answers. he's quiet on the way home and you can tell whatever was said between the two of them really hurt him. as you finally get to your place, carmy sighs, as if he's ready to get something off his chest. "thank you. for doing that." "for what?" "for comin' along. even though it like... colossally blew up." "you ever gonna tell me what happened?" he shrugs, "i don't know." "okay... well, while i wait for you to burst like a pressure cooker, then inevitably spill the beans," you begin, and he smiles, because you know him too well. "wanna come up for a movie or something? get your mind off of it? it's halloween. maybe i'll even let you talk me into a scary movie this time." you finish asking him. and it's the moment that carmy realizes that you're such a breath of fresh air, especially in contrast with his earlier encounter with mikey. "uh.. yeah. think i'd like that."
the two of you go up to your place, put on a movie, and end up falling asleep on the couch together, only to pretend the next morning that it's not that big of a deal (it is, in fact, a HUGE deal).
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joelalorian · 1 month
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Fall Into Me - Chapter Three: No Mirror for Monsters
dbf!Joel x f!reader
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Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.
Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.
Word Count: 4.3k
Chapter Warnings: Mature, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, confusion, and self doubt. Joel goes on a date but not with you. Two idiots falling and pining for each other. Lotta swearing, because, yeah, I like it. Reader has long enough hair for a ponytail and likes comfy clothes. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used by her dad.
Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics
Thank you for reading this little tale! I did not expect all the love - my heart is fit to burst over all the wonderful comments and reblogs!
Chapter Two | Main Masterlist
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“Good morning, Millers!” you greeted as you let yourself into their house the following morning. Nearing late October, it was a beautiful day outside and the crisp morning air made you happy. It would heat up later, but for now you were enjoying the comfort of a beloved hoodie and yoga pants.
“Hi darlin’,” Joel replied with a lot less enthusiasm as he leaned against the kitchen doorframe. Still nursing his first cup of coffee, his sparkling personality hadn’t kicked in yet. “Sarah’s just gettin’ dressed. Want some coffee?”
“Nah, don’t drink the stuff. Smells good, but the taste is just…” You scrunched up your nose, at a loss for the right word to describe how utterly disgusting you found the taste of coffee. You moved through the house to join him in the kitchen.
Turning back to the counter with a chuckle, Joel poured himself another cup and shrugged. “There’s no accounting for taste, I guess. More for me, then.”
“There’s the silver lining!” you teased. “So, you guys have any big plans this weekend?”
“Nah, should be qui—Oh shit, I almost forgot!” Joel closed his eyes, bumping a fist against his forehead. His gaze was shuttered when it met yours again. “Would you mind watching Sarah on Saturday evening?”
“Yeah, sure. I don’t have any plans, so I’m happy to hang with the nugget. You got a hot date or something?” You meant it as a joke, but the way Joel winced clued you in. Your face fell at his next words, and you hoped he didn’t notice.
“Uh, yeah. Tommy set it up.” Joel drained the rest of his cup, tossing it into the sink, and ran an anxious hand through his curls. “First one in a while, ya know.”
No, you didn’t know. But it wasn’t really your business, was it? Sarah’s arrival in the kitchen saved you from having to say anything else as the little girl launched herself at you.
“Hey nugget,” you said, wrapping your arms around her little body as she clung to your waist. Despite your best efforts, your greeting lacked your prior enthusiasm. You could feel the heavy weight of Joel’s gaze on you like a laser, but you refused to look in his direction. “You ready to go?”
“Uh huh, I already ate breakfast,” Sarah said proudly, spinning to hug her father. “Bye Dad, love you.”
You turned away, already heading for the door as Joel pulled her in for a bear hug, feeling your heart constrict at how much they loved each other. You didn’t bother to say goodbye.
Joel had a date.
A date who wasn’t you.
Man, that fucking sucked.
Could you blame the guy, though? He was still young and handsome, hardworking and responsible to a fault. And, most of all, he didn’t know that you harbored growing feelings for him. Nor could he ever find out, you reminded yourself, not when your dad was his best friend.
The ride to drop Sarah off was full of silence, your mind weighed down with thoughts of Joel and the valiant effort of trying to convince yourself to stop thinking about him. Coming out of the fog as you moved up in the school drop-off line, you wished Sarah a good day and watched as she bounced up the steps into the building. You envied that sweet obliviousness of youth.
Driving away from the school, anxiety started to kick in. The thought of going back to your house to sit alone as the four walls closed in on you made your stomach churn. You drove around for an hour, no real destination in mind, and ended up at Peace District Park. With nothing much else to do, you walked the trails of the urban oasis and let nature work its magic in calming your nerves.
It worked.
As you sat on a bench watching songbirds flutter around the flora, you texted one of your best friends from high school who still lived in the area. You needed a girl’s night out.
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Distractions were dangerous in his line of work, but Joel struggled to get his mind to focus all morning. He fixated on the way your face fell and your entire demeanor changed when he mentioned the date, like you were disappointed, hurt even. But that couldn’t be, could it?
There was no way you felt something for him. Was there?
Joel went over and over every interaction between you two since the day you met, trying to see if he was reading into things too much. He wasn’t the most observant guy, he knew that well enough, but there were moments when he’d catch you gazing at him with this look of wonder in your eyes… that had to mean something. Right?
Fuck. He was really bad at this stuff. So out of practice and lacking confidence.
Maybe he just imagined it all. Maybe you had something else on your mind and didn’t give a shit about someone like him going on a date.
What could he do about it if you liked him anyway? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So, what did it matter. You were JB’s daughter and Sarah’s babysitter, nothing more and nothing less.
Joel’s mind continued to cycle through the same thoughts all day, until he smashed his thumb with a hammer because he was so distracted. Pissed off and in pain, he called it a day a couple hours early, leaving Tommy in charge of the site. He needed to get home and put some ice on his thumb.
By some cosmic coincidence, he arrived home at the same time as you and Sarah. He couldn’t hide his thumb from your eagle eyes as the three of you entered the house.
“Jesus Christ, Joel!” you hissed, trying not to swear in front of Sarah, your delicate hand already reaching for his larger, dirtier one. “What happened to your thumb?”
“It got in the way of a hammer,” Joel mumbled, doing his best not to wince as you gently prodded at the swollen digit. He also did his best to ignore the softness of your skin and the warmth of your touch on him, wishing you would touch him everywhere. “You don’t have to fuss, darlin’. It just needs some ice.”
“Oh, hush up, you. Go wash your hands then sit down and relax, I’ll get you some ice and aspirin to help with the swelling. You’re lucky it’s not broken!”
“Bossy lil’ thing, aren’t you,” he grumbled, doing exactly as you ordered once his boots were kicked off to the side of the foyer. Sarah nestled against him on the couch once he sat, fussing over his thumb just as much as you did. His lips quirked upwards at the thought that it meant you both cared about him.
You returned minutes later with a bag of frozen peas, two white pills, and a bottle of cold beer in hand. “Take these,” you directed, offering him the pills and beer. Once he swallowed, you placed the bag on his hand, carefully adjusting it to wrap around his thumb. Your teeth bit into your bottom lip as you concentrated on not hurting him and he nearly groaned as an ache built up in his belly at the sight.
“Thank you, darlin’,” Joel said, voice deep and husky before clearing his throat. His eyes clocked your movements as you stood up straight and your eyes widened when they met his half-lidded gaze. He catalogued the moment to add to the growing list of moments between the two of you that hinted at something deeper, something more lingering in the air.
You waved off his thanks and headed back to the kitchen, calling over your shoulder, “I’ll make some dinner for your two before I leave.”
He wanted to follow you, to let you know he wanted you to stay for dinner, and maybe watch a movie with him and Sarah afterwards, but Sarah’s sweet little voice distracted him.
“Will you help me with my homework, Daddy?” She peered up at him with eyes that matched his own and his heart swelled with love.
“Of course, my little nugget. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
They worked on math problems until you called them for dinner, Joel relieved at the break. An exceptionally bright girl, Sarah didn’t really need his help, but she enjoyed it when he tried. Math made his head hurt, a headache starting to build between his eyes. The headache grew at the sight of only two plates full of spaghetti on the table.
“You’re not eating?” Sarah’s voice squeaked, making her dissatisfaction clear. Turning to him as you shook your head, she added, “Daddy! Tell her she can stay!”
Joel’s mouth barely opened before snapping shut again. You were already speaking, cutting off whatever he would have said.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, nugget. I gotta go now.”
“Oh, okay.” Sarah’s disappointment broke his heart, and Joel felt helpless.
“You sure you can’t stay? I thought maybe we could watch a Disney movie after.” He looked at you with unmasked hope in his eyes. He wanted you to stay even more than his daughter did, but he couldn’t tell you that.
Something flashed in your eyes but disappeared before Joel could figure out what it was. “Sorry, I have plans with a friend and I can’t stay. You two enjoy the movie without me,” you said with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I’ll come by at 4:30 tomorrow, okay?”
Joel nodded, cringing at the reminder of his date, and watched you leave with a pang of disappointment rivalling Sarah’s.
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Emily never changed. She was still the prettiest girl in the room and funny as hell, lifting your mood just like she did back in high school. The pair of you sat at a swanky bar downtown, catching up like you never missed any time together. You stayed in touch a bit over the years, but the distance and different priorities led to your friendship taking a back seat to everything else. Now that you were back, it was easy to dive right back into that unbreakable bond the two of you always shared and pick up where you left off.
You didn’t realize how much you missed that bond until now.
The bar filled with the typical Friday night after work crowd as the two of you sipped at your drinks and rehashed the past few years. Soon, the conversation moved to your current love life – or, more accurately, your complete lack of one.
“So, you seeing anyone lately?” Emily asked, signaling to the bartender that you were ready for another round. “Last I heard, you were with that dude… what was his name? The one that would gaslight you and always insisted your tears were weaponized when he made you cry.”
“Yeah, Tom. That asshole. I wasted too much time on him not knowing any better, but we broke up about a year and a half ago, thank God.” You cringed at the thought of all the emotional damage you had to overcome after that one. You worked hard on finding yourself again after that disaster. “No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
Ever the receptive one, Emily picked up something in your tone that you couldn’t hide. Tilting her head curiously, clocking your movements with her sharp eyes, she continued, “But there’s someone who caught your eye? Do tell!”
Without hesitation, you launched into a long-winded explanation of how you met Joel and how you’re now a mess over the guy.
“Dad’s best friend, huh? When did you become such a cliché?” Emily teased, her shoulder gently bumping yours. “He sounds dreamy, though!”
“I am not a cliché! We don’t all get to all get to marry our high school sweetheart because we met ‘the one’ when we were 15. Talk about a cliché!” You cackled, drawing the attention of two men in suits a few seats down from you, but you ignored them.
“Alright, alright,” Emily mock surrendered. “Back to dad’s best friend. What is the problem? The JB I remember is a cool guy who wouldn’t have a problem with you dating his friend, not when said friend is only a bit older than you and such a good guy.”
That caught you by surprise. “You really think my dad would be okay with it?”
Emily shrugged. “I mean, I haven’t talked to your dad in years, but I remember him being a pretty reasonable guy and he always wanted the best for you. Why wouldn’t he want you to be with someone responsible and caring like this Joel guy?”
You nodded thoughtfully, your teeth worrying your plump bottom lip. “Even if my dad was cool with it, there’s the fact that Joel is not interested. He’s going on a date tomorrow, for fuck’s sake.”
After a moment of consideration, Emily asked, “Does he do that often? Date, I mean.”
You shook your head, fingers dancing absentmindedly along the edge of the bar. “Apparently not. He said it’s the first one in a long time.”
Emily’s eyes narrowed. “And you don’t find the timing suspicious?”
That caught you off guard, your eyes darting to hers. “Should I?”
Shoulders shrugging beneath long layers of dark hair, Emily hummed. “Maybe? From what you just told me about your interactions, I find it interesting that he’s suddenly going on a date. Makes me think he has feelings and he’s struggling with them just like you are.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about that.” You blew off her observations, you couldn’t afford to start having hope now when he was going on a date tomorrow. Instead, you changed the subject. “So, how are you and Ed doing?”
The rest of the night passed in a blur of conversation and mixed drinks with the occasional interruption from a few brave men hitting on you. It crossed your mind to flirt with one or two of them, but you were having too much fun catching up with Emily and blew each of them off. Before you knew it, the hour was late and Emily’s husband, Ed, picked you both up to make sure you got home safe.
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“What the hell am I doing?” Joel asked his reflection as he tried on his fourth shirt from his closet. He wasn’t looking forward to this date at all, his mind a mess between feeling guilty about leaving Sarah, the confusing mix of emotions revolving around you, and his complete lack of confidence.
Torn between trying too hard and not trying at all, he huffed in frustration, ripping the buttons of the shirt open before tossing it onto the growing pile of discarded clothes on his bed.
He had no business going on a date. What had he been thinking when he agreed to go?
Joel slumped onto his bed in defeat, his right fist coming up to bump against his forehead. How could he ever think that going on a date would get his mind off you? Not to mention, he felt like a dick for asking you to watch Sarah while he went on said date.
God, he really wasn’t good with this kind of shit.
A glance at the clock got him moving. You were due to arrive shortly, and he had to pick Annica up for a 5:30 reservation Tommy insisted he make. There was no room to dilly dally.
Another glance through his closet and Joel settled on a blue flannel and dark jeans, paired with newer black boots. Best to just be himself, he thought. Using a bit of gel, he pushed his curls back from his face. His beard was freshly trimmed, and he ran his truck through the car wash earlier in the day.
“That’s as good as it’s gonna get,” he said to his reflection before leaving his bedroom, the doorbell ringing as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Joel opened the door to find you standing there, your feet shifting uncertainly. You looked tired, yet beautiful as always and he gulped. “Hey, why didn’t you just come in? You have a key.”
“Hey Joel,” you greeted with a shrug, your voice quiet. Your eyes scanned from his head down to his feet like you were drinking him in. “Just didn’t feel right, I guess.”
“Ok?” Confused, he waited for you to explain, but you kept your mouth shut. Something was off with you. He wondered if something happened last night – you said you had plans, had it been a date of your own? His heart skipped a beat as he shook his head clear. “Well, come on in. You doin’ alright, darlin’?”
“Mmhmm,” you hummed back causing Joel’s brows to pull into a frown as you followed him into the house. “You look nice. Ready for your date?”
Was it just him or did it seem like asking that question pained you? What the fuck was wrong with him? Shaking his head free of thoughts like that, he blushed. “Oh, uh, thanks. As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” After a beat, he added, “I’m kinda nervous, actually.”
Joel watched your eyes soften at that. “You shouldn’t be. Any woman would be lucky to go on a date with you.”
Including you? he wondered. There was a wistfulness to your voice that shattered him, leaving him ready to ditch his date and stay there with you and Sarah. “Hey, I, um—”
“You’re here! Finally! Come on, I want to show you something!” Sarah sprinted into the living room, grabbing your hand, and stealing your attention before Joel could finish his sentence. Maybe that was a good thing. God only knows what was about to come out of his mouth.
“Slow down, nugget! I’m coming,” you laughed as the young girl dragged you toward the stairs. It was the first smile of yours Joel glimpsed since you arrived, and his heart beat heavy in his chest when you turned to speak to him over your shoulder, your broad smile dimming with your next words. “Have fun tonight, Joel. You deserve a nice night out.”
“Thanks, darlin’,” he replied, the words heavy in his mouth. Clearing his throat, he called out, “Be good, Sarah! I ordered pizza for you both, should be here soon.”
“I always am, Dad! Love you!” Sarah yelled down the stairs, her attention already focused on whatever she wanted to show you.
“Love you, too.” Joel continued staring up the stairs long after the two of you were out of sight, a sense of yearning knotted deep in his chest. Forcing himself to look away, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door, once again asking himself why the hell he agreed to this date in the first place.
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“Can we go see it tonight? Please?” Sarah gazed up at you with her dark eyes widened like a baby cow and you were powerless. How did Joel ever tell this precious, sweet girl ‘no’? It was impossible.
“Let’s see what the showtimes are first. We can’t be out too late.” Scanning the movie listing Sarah pulled up on her tablet, you found the showtimes for the latest kid friendly adventure movie she wanted to see. “There’s one at 6:30. We can totally do that one and still have you home for bedtime. Sound good?”
“Yes! Can we get popcorn?”
“Of course! No trip to the movies is complete without popcorn.”
The two of you ate some pizza before getting ready to go. You liked getting there early enough to find your seats and see the trailers before the movie started. Texting Joel on your way out the door to let him know you were taking Sarah out, the two of you climbed into your car.
The movie theater was busy as usual for a Saturday evening, but you found a good parking spot beneath a light post not far from the entrance. There were lines for tickets and concessions leaving you relieved at arriving early. With tickets in hand, you led Sarah to the shortest of lines in front of the concessions counter. That’s when you saw them.
A tall blonde with big hair and legs for days, wearing tight fitting jeans like a second skin and yapping away while walking closely with a taller man with broad shoulders and curly, dark hair. The man’s sleeves were rolled up, his left hand placed low on the woman’s back, gently guiding her as she gripped a bucket of popcorn and a fountain drink. Another fountain drink was clutched in the man’s right hand. As if he felt the searing heat of your jealous gaze, the man turned, and your stomach plummeted.
Joel’s dark umber eyes met yours in surprise, his hand dropping from the woman’s back as he watched your face fall. He looked uncertain, like he didn’t know whether to carry on with his date or rush to your side. His eyes darted to find Sarah standing at your side, her focus on the snacks displayed within the glass counter. Forcing a half smile to your face, you dipped your head in greeting and turned to move forward, your attention refocusing as it was your turn to plan an order. All the while, your mind raced with thoughts of Joel and his date. Knowing that he wouldn’t want to introduce his daughter on a first date, you never told Sarah that you saw him.
Handing the bucket of popcorn to Sarah, you said, “Careful now. I’ll grab napkins and carry our drinks.” You led the way past the concessions toward the designated theater, which was, thankfully, on the other side of the building from where Joel and his date had been heading.
You phone buzzed in your pocket once you and Sarah were seated – in the middle of the aisle, at Sarah’s insistence, because you’d have the best view. It was a text from Joel.
JM: Sorry darlin’ just saw your text. Hope you and Sarah enjoy your movie.
Torn between responding or just leaving him on read, you went with a third option and gave his message a thumbs up before shoving the phone deep into your pocket. Minutes later, you relented with a sigh, pulling the phone back out to respond a little kindlier.
You: Thanks. I didn’t know you were taking your date to the movies or we would have gone somewhere else.
Bubbles appeared as he was typing, but you didn’t want to see what else he had to say. Silencing your phone, you shoved it back into your pocket.
You were distracted the entire movie, staring blankly at the large screen as you over-analyzed every detail about Joel’s date. She was closer to his age, maybe even a bit older, with big, perky boobs and a pretty face covered with a thick layer of makeup. Her hairstyle fit the old quote, “the bigger the hair, the closer to God” and likely took her an hour or more to style. She made an effort, that’s what seemed to matter. Meanwhile, you sat in the theater with your hair scraped back into a messy ponytail and wearing worn jeans and a hoodie. You felt like a child compared to Joel’s date.
Part of you wanted to hate her for having all the features that Joel apparently found attractive, but you couldn’t. It wasn’t her fault the man you were pining over wasn’t the least bit interested in you.
Finally, the credits rolled, and you pretended to have paid attention to the movie as you listened to Sarah gushing over it for the entire ride back to the Miller house and in the moments between brushing her teeth and tucking her into bed.
The living room couch was particularly comfortable when you sat on it, your body settling into the pillowy cushions with a sigh as you stretched across it. Staring at the ceiling, eyes blinking tiredly, you wondered when Joel would be home, both eager for and dreading his arrival. Still mortified over nearly crashing his date and self-conscious about not fitting the mold of what he found attractive, you wondered what you’d even say to him when he walked through the door.
The pull of sleep too strong to fight, you submitted to the emotional exhaustion, dozing off until a gentle shake of your shoulder caused you to stir.
“Darlin’, go sleep in the spare room,” Joel murmured as you blinked your eyes open.
It took you a moment to come back to your senses, your body following his orders before your brain kicked back to life. He stepped back as you got up, one strong hand reaching out to hold you steady as you wobbled. You met his eyes as the haze of sleep began to clear. He gazed at you with such a soft look you trembled.
“You okay there?” he asked with a quiet laugh and your eyes flicked down to his mouth, catching the glint of something on his cheek, just above his beard. Focusing on that spot, it became clearer. A very distinct lipstick mark. He wasn’t even bothering to hide it.
Wrenching yourself from his gentle grasp, you slipped on your shoes and pulled your keys from your pocket.
Joel watched your every move, confused and clearly not wanting you to leave. “Hey, where are you going? Just take the spare room. You’re still half asleep.”
Shaking your head, you avoided looking at him. “Nah, Imma head home. G’night Joel, see ya Monday,” you said, turning your back on him as you headed for the door. Unable to help yourself as you wrenched the front door open, you added, “Might wanna go clean your face off.”
“What?” his baffled question echoed behind you as the door closed.
tbc
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roosterforme · 3 months
Text
Beer Boy and Sugar: The First Lost Year (Bradley Bradshaw x Reader)
Part of the Lost Years series for Beer Boy and Sugar
Warnings: language, longing, angst (series fits chronologically between Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time)
Banner by @mak-32
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Year One
"Bradshaw."
Bradley was pulled out of his comfortable daydream when he heard Natasha Trace call his name. He looked over at the only friend he'd managed to make since he moved to Rhode Island for flight training five months ago. It turns out, nobody much wants to talk to you when you're a bit of a miserable prick. 
"Yeah?"
She nodded back toward the hangar and said, "Captain Price wants us to use the simulator."
"Right," he replied softly. Once she was gone again, he turned to look out at the rough Atlantic Ocean and shivered in the late October air. He was freezing cold. He was always fucking freezing cold here. He missed Virginia. He missed being warm in his bed in his fraternity house. He missed you.
"No," he whispered, closing his eyes and focusing on some deep breathing. "No. You can't." Every thought of you was painful, and he needed to get past this. He kept promising himself that one day, he would wake up and be on the other side of this ache, but he was such a damn liar. Deep inside, he knew better. 
How was it supposed to stop hurting when all he could think about was you, equally cold in Chicago, wrapped up in his Grateful Dead shirt and listening to their songs? It had already snowed there; he checked the weather frequently. He memorized the University of Chicago campus map and thought about where you might be, always afraid you were in a library study room. With someone else. Because the only thing worse than thinking about you cold and alone was thinking about you moving on with someone new. But you were perfect. Bradley's perfect Sugar. Of course you didn't need to be with him to be happy. 
Eventually he turned toward the hangar and walked through the frigid wind. He completed the simulation perfectly in almost no time. Trace was every bit as good as he was, and Bradley silently rejoiced whenever they were paired together. She was serious but not too serious. She was smart but never cocky about it. She didn't waste a lot of time talking if she had nothing to say. She reminded him a lot of you. 
He wasn't interested in her as anything more than the friend he desperately needed right now, but it was hard to open up to someone new when he could only think about one thing. There were a handful of really attractive women here, but Bradley found himself unable to focus on them. Besides, he finally understood that quality always beats quantity. You started teaching him that lesson as soon as he felt the urge to paint his bedroom door white. 
He avoided the tables full of students in the cafeteria, picking one off to the side instead. He figured if he gave the appearance that he didn't want anyone around, then they would leave him alone. He was only mostly successful.
"Can I join you?" 
When he looked up at Trace's dark brown eyes, he nodded and pulled his tray a little closer to him so she could sit on the other side of the table. "Yeah, sure."
She ate half of her food before she said anything. "Hey, thanks for not being creepy."
He looked at her calm face in confusion. "What do you mean?"
She shrugged and said, "Some of the other guys are a little creepy towards me, Hayes, O'Malley and Butler. They think it's funny to mess with the girls."
"Seriously?" Bradley asked, setting his fork down. "Which guys?" He wished he didn't feel the sudden urge to break something; he'd been able to manage this feeling for a long time, only letting it surface when he wanted to pound Jeff to bits for touching you. It would probably feel good right now if he let this emotion take over for a little bit.
"Don't worry about it," Trace replied easily. "It's nothing I can't handle. I just don't like eating alone if I can help it, because then they come over."
Bradley nodded, picking up his fork again. If there was anything you wouldn't like, it would be Bradley losing his place in the Navy because he couldn't manage to stay out of a fistfight. "You can eat with me whenever you want."
Her muttered, "Thanks," was so soft, he barely heard it. He wanted to tell her not to thank him, but the silence between them felt pretty nice. She took a few more bites before she asked, "So what's your deal, Bradshaw? You're awfully quiet for someone who can pass all of the exams on the first try and makes the simulators look easy."
He laughed. "I could say the same about you."
"I guess," she replied, "but I'm always the one initiating conversation with you, not the other way around. It's a girl, isn't it? You miss your girlfriend?"
She didn't ask it unkindly, but it felt like a slap to his face. He swallowed hard, once again wondering why this hurt so fucking bad after five goddamn months. But he'd never tried to actually talk about you with anyone else. Maybe it wouldn't be as hard as he thought it would. 
He cleared his throat and looked down at his tray. "There used to be a girl. I think maybe she thought she was doing me a favor when she dumped me. Or maybe she was just trying to protect herself. And I can respect that."
"Ouch," came Natasha's soft voice, and Bradley had almost forgotten he wasn't alone. "You were in love with her." 
It wasn't phrased as a question, and once again Bradley felt like she physically hit him. He had never admitted it out loud before right now. "Yeah. I was in love with her." He set his fork down one last time before he met her eyes. "I'm still in love with her."
Later that night, he cried himself to sleep, dying to hear you call him Beer Boy and push your fingers through his hair one last time. Dying to ask you why he couldn't have two dreams.
---------------------
You were twenty-two years old. You lived in one of the most exciting cities in the country. And you were single. But you never really felt like going out when the other graduate students invited you. Every time you did go, you ended up at a bar that was way too loud or a frat house that was way too uncomfortable. Nobody knew how to play beer pong correctly, and every guy was wearing a backwards cap.
It made your heart ache.
"Hey." 
You looked up from your computer to see Jared staring at you with a smile on his face and his hat spun backwards on his head. "Alex and I are going to one of the library study rooms and then out to get a beer. You coming?"
Both of those things sounded amazing, actually. But not with him or Alex. Not with anybody at this school or in this city or even in the central time zone. You shook your head. "Thanks, but not tonight. Maybe next week?"
Jared looked dejected. "Aww, come on. You're too pretty to be sitting here working alone." He probably though he was being charming, but he was nowhere close to the level of sweetness you were used to.
You sighed softly and shook your head again. "Thanks but.... maybe next week."
When he finally left, you tried to return your attention to what you had been working on. There was no shortage of classwork or research to keep you busy seven days a week here, and that was a very good thing. Because it was days like this one where you started to think about Bradley and you couldn't stop. As soon as you let the memories creep in, you were done. 
You closed your computer and sucked in a ragged breath. Through the blurry tears filling your eyes, you pulled up the bottom of your hoodie and ran your fingers along the soft, tie dyed cotton of the shirt you were wearing underneath. If you closed your eyes and thought about Virginia, you could almost believe the shirt still smelled like him. You could almost hear him sing what had become your favorite song.  
"Shit," you muttered, standing and shoving your computer into your backpack. You would finish working from your dorm room. You just needed to get out of here right now. 
The icy cold air smacked you in the face as soon as you walked outside. Apparently it started snowing in October here. It had been snowing steadily for days. You missed Virginia. You missed the stupid Beta house. You missed the way Bradley felt like your own personal furnace when he cuddled with you. Sometimes you thought you'd made the worst decision of your life.
The urge to cave and call him as soon as you got to your room and cranked up the heater was so intense. Then you remembered that you broke his heart and your own with a handful of sentences and the admission that you loved him. Well, you still loved him, but he almost certainly hated you. And that was fine. That was completely okay as long as he was focused on keeping himself safe instead of thinking about a long distance relationship. He had a dream bigger than you, and he deserved to live it out.
You curled up in a ball on your bed and listened to Easy to Love You by The Grateful Dead exactly eleven times in a row while you cried. You did the math in your head; that was just over forty minutes of crying. Last week when you broke down, it was closer to an hour. Maybe things were on the upswing now. Maybe the pain would start to fade. It had already been more than five months since you left his room while he sat on the edge of his bed, agony written on his face. 
"Why?" you asked yourself angrily, certain nobody else would ever make you feel as good as he had for the handful of months you'd spent together. He taught you a lot about yourself, and now you understood the importance of giving someone a second chance. How crucial it was to look past the surface. 
You buried your nose in the fabric of the colorful shirt, turned the song on one more time, and fell asleep with unshed tears and a tightness in your chest. When you woke up the next day, you found more snow on the ground when you put on your boots and jacket and headed outside. You remembered exactly where to go, because you'd seen it so many times before. You headed for the tattoo parlor near campus with a pocketful of cash and the hope that this would make you feel better and not worse.
Once you were lounging back with the Grateful Dead shirt pulled up, you pointed to your math tattoo. "I want it just below this one. It's a specific song lyric. And I want it in this font."
The tattoo artist looked at your skin and then the words you'd written out before checking the font you were pointing to in his binder which happened to look a bit like Bradley's tidy script. 
"The Dead," he said with a smile. "I dig it. I can do it for a hundred bucks."
You nodded and handed him the cash, and just a few minutes later, he got to work. If he thought you were crying softly because of the pain from the needle digging into your flesh over and over again, then that was fine with you.
-----------------------------
I'm fine. We are all fine. Year two is up next.
PART 2
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Compromise: cbf!soap x f!reader
Despite what you said you spent every moment of your free time waiting for Johnny.
It was subconscious at first. You constantly looked at your phone for any missing texts or phone calls, or a voicemail. Eventually you found yourself waiting for him to reach out.
The months went by and there was nothing.
You went to class and studied with your mind on Johnny. You had no clue how basic training worked, if he had any free time or if he decided to completely cut you off. You couldn't blame him but you never thought it that much because it made you feel awful.
Ever since he left you had felt incredibly numb. You weren't sure if that was worse than feeling miserable all the time, though you did know if you didn't keep yourself busy you'd probably either be crying too much or would just be frozen.
By the end of October you were used to it. This was going to be the way your life would be until the heartbreak wore off, until his absence was only mildly upsetting.
You sat on your bed in your dorm one evening and your phone rang.
You hesitated to pick it up for only a second before you saw that it was him, it was Johnny.
"Johnny?" You asked immediately, your vision blurring and your throat tightening.
"You picked up...!" He sounded surprised and relieved.
A few tears fell at the sound of his voice but you felt relief, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
"Yeah, um, how is it? How are you?" You asked him as you wiped away the tears.
"It's good, I'm good." He was vague but you didn't really care. "Better now that I'm talking to you."
"Me too."
You both went silent but it was comforting knowing that he was on the other end of the phone. You wondered what this meant, if maybe he was coming home.
"What's going on?" You wondered hopefully. "Are you finished...?"
"Yeah, basic training is over but I'll be going to advanced training tomorrow." He explained and you frowned.
You shouldn't have gotten so hopeful.
"Oh...how long is that going to be?" You asked and tried to hide your disappointment.
"Depends. It might be until the end of April." He said and you sighed.
That was seven months from now. And there was no telling that he'd even come home after that. He might have to go to another training he might start work.
You both we're already nineteen by now too (having missed each other's birthdays since he was gone). Would he be twenty before he came home? Would he come home at all?
"But I'll have a lot more time to call..." He trailed off and you perked up. "If that's something-"
"You had better call me when you can!" You exclaimed and he barked out a laugh.
"I will, I promise."
It was like the seeing the sun again after constant rain. You stayed on the phone with him for hours catching up with him the best either of you could. Just being able to hear him, to know that he was going to call you again was enough to have you feeling better than you had in months.
It was well into the night when you started falling asleep. You had classes in the morning and you didn’t care but the day was catching up to you.
“I should go.” Johnny said and you huffed.
“Don’t want you to.” You mumbled and he sighed.
“I’ll try to call you tomorrow.”
You hid your face in your pillow trying to your hardest to not get upset. You didn’t want to say goodbye, you didn’t want to possibly never hear him again.
You just wanted him with you again.
“I miss you.” You whispered.
“I miss you too.” He said back softly.
Neither of you were willing to end the call for a couple minutes. You knew both of you needed to go to bed but you just couldn’t.
“Goodnight, bonnie.” He said and you sniffled.
“Goodnight, Johnny. I love you.”
Silence.
“I love you too.”
Johnny ended the call and you stared into your dark room for a couple minutes.
You hoped he would call again tomorrow.
A/n: see alls great! *pushes upcoming angst away* promise
Tags: @elysian0612 @cassiecasluciluce @pepsicolacoochie @hayleybarnesx @tiredmetalenthusiast @misshoneypaper @sodavrr @ghostslittlegf
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