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buckyalpine · 9 months

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Cheating!Steve x reader, Bucky x reader

Oh look, more cheating Steve with sweetheart Bucky to save us

A/N: Last year someone asked me for some mad angsty fic and I posted and deleted it so quick because it was god awful. Just awful. However, I had kept a draft of it cause even though I hated it and everything about it, I didn't want it gone forever. Upon rereading it recently...I kinda like it. So I decided to change some stuff (like most of the entire plot), switch around characters (I'm a Bucky girl) and repost. If you want to see the OG fic, I can post it again or just edit this to add it under the new version

Steve couldn't stand seeing you like this. In the hospital room, the needles prodding you, it all reminds him of hydra and the things he had seen on numerous missions. When you almost die, he's thrown back into the spiral where he has no hope for a future. And nothing changes after you get better. You had almost died once. Missions were getting riskier and you weren't always in the clear. In his mind, everything good in his life leaves him or gets ripped away eventually. Peggy was a prime example of that. It's just a matter of time.

Even in your injured state, your attention was all on Steve. You knew how much he hated seeing you hurt. It sent him into a dark place few people had witnessed. As soon as your eyes fluttered open, your tired eyes met his red rimmed, puffy ones. For days, every time you try to bring him back to you, he has his walls built up again.

He won't let himself love you more.

He drinks.

He drinks enough to get drunk. It takes bottle after bottles but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything any more. So much so, he decides to seek the warmth of someone else.

Because you almost left him.

You could die so easily.

You almost did.

Nothing matters any more. His moans of pleasure are empty but he's wrapped around her none the less. He doesn't stop until his body can't move, too exhausted to even think about guilt.

You have it all planned out. You were finally released from the hospital and the first thing you wanted to do was spend time with Steve. The team had left the compound so you could set up a movie night for you and the captain, you don't want to let him slip from your grasp, not after all you'd been through together. You didn't go through hell and back to lose him like this. You fought for your life to pull through.

There are snacks laid out on the table, a movie pulled up, some hot chocolate made just for you and him. You shuffle nervously, your heart beating erratically. You didn't spend 4 years with him just for this to end because you nearly died. No. He was worth the fight. His cold demeanor was not towards you but towards the fear of losing you. And that fear was from love. Love you both shared deeply for each other.

You knew he got back from the bar late; if he was too drunk then you'd help him to his room and talk to him in the morning. It was a new habit of his but you understood.

Except he never came. He always made it home. Not tonight.

Steve stumbled in the next morning, rubbing his eyes, seeing a small sleeping form on the sofa, snacks and some drinks laid out in the living room. He swallowed thickly when he sees you get up from the couch wearing one of his hold hoodies, making your way towards him.

"Steve?"

You have a soft smile on your face, but it drops when you get a closer look at him. Tears prickle at your eyes when you see the way his neck is littered in bruises, his skin still flushed. He can't look you in the eyes, not after what he'd just done.

"I-

You freeze before him, you don't want to ask. You don't want to know. The broken expression his face is enough for you. You wordlessly leave the living room, locking yourself in, giving FRIDAY instructions to make sure no one can enter.

"Did you talk to y/n" Bucky asks excitedly when he sees Steve sitting in the living room. He knows how excited you were about the movie night, spending days planning every last detail. His excitement drops when he sees the food untouched and you're nowhere to be seen. "Where is she?"

Steve remains silent, staring at his hands. The rest of the team enter the living room, hoping to find you both curled on the couch, but no. Nat's eyes narrow when she sees the hickeys on Steve's neck but something tells her they're not from you, you've never marked him like that before, you've always been so gentle with him.

"How could you?" She hissed, while the rest of the team look at her in confusion. It doesn't take long for them to piece things together. And it's a mess.

You come down to the living room, both Sam and Tony holding Bucky down on the couch while he glares at Steve, his hands still in fists. They all turn towards you with broken eyes, this is not what they ever wanted for you. The second he sees you, he breaks down. You're numb to his cries, his pleas.

He finds you leaving the compound at 1:00 AM from where he's still seated on the couch, something you'd never done before.

"Baby? Where are you going"

You ignore him, making your way to the garage. You were never able to sleep since and staying in bed only left you alone with your thoughts.

"I-I need some space. Don't worry about where I'm going"

"Y/n, please, just let me explain"

"No"

"I made a mistake, I-

"I don't care. I just want need some air"

"Promise me you'll come back?"

You shake your head, you can't even look at Steve. You scoff, shoving past him, not caring when he hisses in pain. His cheek is bruised, spots of dark purple and blue bloom around his eye and you'd seen Nat icing Bucky's hand earlier.

"Y/n, please angel, I-I just want to talk, just promise me you'll come back?"

"I promise" You reluctantly mumble, hopping on your motor bike and speeding off before Steve can call after you again.

You loved him so much.

You fought so hard to pull through for him, you heard every word he'd said to you when you were unconscious.

Tears clouded your vision.

It all happens too fast for you to comprehend.

The car doesn't see you.

The bend is sharp.

You bike is sent over the edge.

Darkness.

It's been a week.

You still haven't woken up.

It's all his fault. It doesn't matter that the driver was intoxicated. It didn't matter that it was dark out. You wouldn't have left the compound if he hadn't done what he did and it eats him alive.

He's not met with any sympathy.

No one bats an eye at his tears or sobs, too concerned about your well being to go and comfort him. Like clock work, every member of the team visits on rotation since they can't all be there at once. however Bucky is exempt from all hospital rules with one brooding, grumpy stare.

Bucky is by your side every single day. He doesn't say anything when Steve grips your hand, praying for you to wake up, silently praying himself while your heart monitor continues to beep. Steve refuses to move from your side but he's not given much of a choice when Fury summons him personally for someone mission related.

He's only gone for a few hours but that's when you finally stir. Bucky is on his feet instantly, paging for the doctor while stroking your hair.

"Hey pretty girl" Bucky whispers when your eyes finally focus, the knuckles of his metal hand gently caressing your cheek. The cool sensation helps you feel more alert. You smile seeing his baby blue eyes, feeling safe as he talks to you softly.

Everything hits Steve all at once. He didn't just betray you. He betrayed the team. His bestfriend. Himself. All the people who had faith in him to make the right choice, to do the right thing, to protect them. And he threw it away. Everyone waited a month for you to fully recover before throwing a welcome back party so you'd actually be able to enjoy it. Steve looked back longingly at the happy group gathered together in the living room, more emotions hitting him again.

He was happy you were alive. His sweet, sweet girl pulled through. H

He was envious of the love everyone was sharing, one he wasn't privy to anymore. He was invited, he was still apart of the team after all but he knew it wasn't his place.

He was jealous.

Jealous of the way you melted into Bucky's side. Longing to feel that warmth that he used to feel himself. Bucky had his arm around your waist, keeping you tucked right by him, taking care of you long after you were discharged. He wasn't going to stop any time soon.

There was something between you two, everyone could sense it. The soft gazes at each other and innocent kisses. Bucky wouldn't let a day go by without pressing his lips to your cheek, your nose, your forehead, the top of your head. He needed you to know you were loved and cared for. He stuck to his guns, claiming his actions were purely platonic but the pink blush on his cheeks proved that he was a bald faced liar.

Steve knows theres no one to blame but himself. He sighs and swallows the lump in his throat as you stand on your tiptoes to kiss the brunette, sealing you both together forever. He's always thought it would be the two of you standing together at the alter but how things had changed. The cheers of the crowd are a dull buzz to him. He watches Bucky swoop in for another kiss, this time dipping you and capturing your lips sweetly.

"I love you Mrs. Barnes"

"I love you more, Mr. Barnes"

Your happy, love struck giggles cause the first tear to fall.

He does his best to smile when you both walk by, flashes of what your wedding would have looked like. The white dress. The veil. The flowers.

if only he never-

But it was too late.

2K notes · View notes

onestepbackwards · 1 year

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Love That Bites

I’ve been playing Symphony of the Night randomized for months, and rewatching some stuff from the anime, this series has had me in a choke hold. I’ve had a thing for Dracula for Y E A R S and the first season of the anime did not help (Even if I have my gripes with that adaption). Unfortunately, there is very little Dracula x reader content out there, and I can only reread it all so many times. o(TヘTo) I also started writing this a bit before the Dead Cells x Castlevania crossover was announced, so that only fueled my motivation to write this. This series is also going to ignore some stuff in canon like some stuff in Aria and Dawn of Sorrow. Canon is just a sandbox and I’m making a castle. I hope you all enjoy the start of this new series! This is part 1, and is mostly setting up the scene for the story. Hopefully there will be more to come! Apologies if this chapter is a little messy. (❁´◡`❁) Summary: When you decide to take a vacation to get away from a toxic home life, you just expect a few days of relaxation to revitalize yourself. However, you didn’t exactly plan on finding the castle belonging to your family’s arch nemesis. Especially when he should be dead for the next century... CW: Reader is a Belmont, Anxiety and anxiety attacks, brief mentions of past trauma, mentions of toxic home life, increasing stress, death mention, paranoia and confusion, you’re safe though don’t worry. Word Count: 6016 words! First: Here! Next: Link

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All you had wanted was a break.

You wanted, no, needed to get away for a week. Simply put, your home-life had become unbearable once again.

Normally, you at least tried to plan ahead when you wanted to take a break away from home, but things had been piling up. You knew if you didn’t get out, you were going to crash and burn again, and that was the last thing you needed as of late.

So early in the morning, before anyone else in your home had awoken, you packed a few small bags, and loaded up your vehicle.

You left a note on your kitchen counter for your relatives, and quickly left. If you thought too much about it, you’d start feeling guilty again, and stay behind.

Thankfully, the quiet car drive had been a welcome one, every mile further away from your home only seemed to lift the stress off of you little by little.

It took a while to get to your destination, but a few hours were nothing to you, considering your profession.

When you have to go on hunts across the country, and occasionally around the world, you learn to get used to the long travel time.

The trip to your current destination had always been worth it, though.

It was a small cabin out in the countryside. Your family had purchased some of the land a few generations ago, and it was a sort of vacation spot, at least until recent years.

Not many family members knew about the property anymore. Your late mother had been one of the few that knew about it, and had still used it. When she was alive, she took you often as a kid to get a break from your training.

You had nothing but fond memories of the place.

The little cabin and surrounding wildlife had become more than just a place with fond memories as of late. It had also become a safe haven.

When things got rough at home, it became a habit to take off to said little safe haven.

So here you were.

The cabin was the same as you had left it, not that it ever changed.

You walked through the overgrowth on the porch, and pushed through the front door. The inside was just as old and dusty as you remembered leaving it a few months ago.

Despite the layer of dust, it still looked well kept and comfortable. Just like you liked it.

Lugging your bags through the entry, you let out a sigh as you made your way through the small cottage. When you entered the living area, you unenthusiastically dropped your bags to the floor, and fell onto the couch with a loud sigh.

You didn’t do anything for a while, simply staring at the ceiling as you sat, your thoughts fast, but your head feeling empty. Overwhelmed, but dissociative.

It was like this every time you came here, but you could finally breathe.

No yelling, no arguing, no working your days away with chores at a house. If you were lucky, there wouldn’t even be hunting involved. Just pure, unbothered peace.

A scoff left your mouth at the thought.

“Some Belmont I am…” You muttered to yourself. What Belmont doesn’t like going hunting? Your aunts and uncles probably still jump at the chance to do so, and your step family would already be out the door with weapons in hand.

You didn’t hate hunting. But nowadays, you were beginning to dread doing it.

Either you were hunting all the time, especially on trips that were long and hard on you, or you were at home, forced to play housekeeper half the time. Anytime there was a hint of a possibility of a monster near your city, your step family took the job. They essentially barred you from doing anything nearby, only having you do the tedious jobs.

As much as you liked traveling, you didn’t like doing it for a hunt that might be a bust half the time. When you arrived at your destination, either the monster was long gone, never existed, or was already killed by a local hunter instead.

It’s become a drain on your personal finances, and a drain on your energy. Especially since you were always ‘expected’ to come right back home. Didn't matter if you were an adult, they needed their precious servant back.

“What a joke…” You huffed, before closing your eyes.

Attempting to relax, you took in the scent of the area, listening to the slight breeze and wildlife from outside.

There was so much going on in your head, but the cabin was already helping, you could tell. Despite your thoughts, your body was already beginning to lose tension.

This was just what you needed.

You waited a few more minutes, taking everything in, before you got to work. Getting up, you grabbed your few bags, and hauled them off into a bedroom. You dropped them on the bed, and moved to the closet, looking for something specific you had left behind years ago.

Opening the closet, you pulled out an old backpack, and brought it to your bed. With memorized ease, you opened your bags, and tossed a few things in.

It’s not like you’d need a lot for a hike. Just a few snacks, some water, and a few weapons just to be safe.

You weren’t exactly afraid of monsters showing up, but being who you were, you couldn't afford to be too careful.

Chances were you’d be fine. Monsters were incredibly rare on this stretch of land, and the wildlife tended to keep to itself.

You paused though when you gripped The Vampire Killer. The whip that had been in your family for centuries.

Would you really need this for a hike to clear your head…?

You stared at it for a moment, battling with yourself in your head. You took it just about everywhere. Not so much for hunting, but so it wouldn’t end up in anyone else's hands.

Eventually, you came to a decision, and placed the whip to the side. The whip was safe here at the cabin, and you had several weapons. It would be fine. You would be fine.

With your mind made, you finished packing your backpack, and slung it over your shoulder, before heading for the front door of the cabin.

The door locked shut behind you, and you set out in a random direction. It was still early in the day, just around noon, you figured you could go out by the mountains. You raised a hand up to the sky, wincing at the light.

“The shade should be perfect to come back this way by 5….” you mumbled, and got to walking.

You wouldn’t be out longer than a few hours. By the time you got back, you could make something light to eat, and catch up on some reading, if you were lucky.

Wandering around, you followed a few paths, before turning around the base of a smaller mountain. You knew the area well, but still enjoyed venturing out and exploring.

Especially as of late, the beauty and nature of the area was an amazing way to clear your head and de-stress.

The walk was nice, and you swore you remember a lake being in the area. If you could find it once again, it would be the perfect place for a picnic.

It had only been an hour of walking when you turned the corner of the base of the mountain, where you normally would have been able to see the lake.

Something felt a little bit off, though. Despite the weather forecast being clear for the day, the sky seemed to be clouding up the further you walked. Then the further you walked, the more on edge you felt. It was as if you were somewhere you weren’t supposed to be.

However, instead of a beautiful lake surrounded by a forest and mountain range, you were met with a sight that made your stomach drop.

Out across the edge of the lake, just past the tree line, was a humongous castle. One you distinctly remember not being there in the first place.

Lightning occasionally flashed around it, and you could hear the thunder in the distance. Despite how dreadful the dark clouds looked above it, the weather almost seemed deadly calm. It faintly reminded you of the eye of a storm.

You felt sweat beginning to form all over you, and you swallowed thickly as you stared at the ominous structure. Your hands shook, and you were finding it hard to stand.

Dracula’s Castle.

There was no doubt about it. You had learned about this castle your whole childhood, and understood what its presence meant.

Sitting down on the grass beneath you, you took a shaky breath. If you stood any longer, you were worried you would faint.

How was this possible? Dracula hadn’t been vanquished for that long…. Right before you had been born, if you remember correctly.

Has someone resurrected him? Or was someone trying to take his power? You had heard of both scenarios happening, and you weren’t sure which one you wanted to be true.

Hell, you knew it was possible for Dracula to be revived just a few years after being defeated, if someone powerful enough wanted to.

But if you were being honest… You hadn’t expected Dracula to be back in your lifetime, or at least in your youth. You had somewhat hoped it wouldn’t be your problem.

You didn’t exactly want the fate of the world resting on your shoulders.

It had been something you had feared since you learned the truth of your lineage. That Dracula may very well come back, and you, or your future kids may need to step up and defeat him. That you might have to be the one to save the world from destruction.

Licking your lips, you tightly gripped a strap from your backpack till your knuckles went white, and looked up at the sky.

“Hey God? Why me?” you asked, genuinely serious.

As expected, you received no answer, just another flash of lightning and clap of thunder in the distance.

Your eyes then landed back on the castle, and you let out a nervous sigh.

You knew you needed to check it out, despite the feeling of dread in your gut.

As you got up though, a sudden thought struck the back of your mind.

The Vampire Killer was back at your cabin, almost an hour away.

Groaning loudly, you couldn’t help but smack your face in frustration.

“Of course! The one time, the one time-! Of all times to have decided not to take the whip with me!” You cursed, frustration building in your chest alongside the anxiety.

Yeah, you could go back to the cabin and go grab it, but that would be wasting possible precious time.

“Okay… So, it’s not the end of the world… Yet… People have defeated Dracula before without the Vampire Killer. Not a big deal.”

It was a big deal, to you at least. This was huge. Dracula could be planning to attack humanity at any moment, and the best weapon against him was sitting snugly on your pillow back at your cabin.

You sighed.

Still, as you watched the castle in the distance, you couldn’t help but notice something odd.

You didn’t see any monsters. Hell, you didn’t see any bodies outside the front of the gate. Didn’t Dracula have monsters all over his castle, inside and out? Not to mention all the stories you had heard, involving impaled corpses that tended to sit outside the castle every other resurrection.

It was quiet.

No monsters. No bodies. No Dracula.

It made you feel sick, like you were waiting for something to attack you from just around the corner.

But the attack had yet to come.

You weighed in your options. Could you really just leave and go back to the cabin? How were you so sure nothing was watching you right now? What if something followed you back, and found your cabin?

Another thought suddenly hit you like a freight train.

Just how long had Dracula’s castle been here?

It has been over a year since you last checked out this lake. The castle was in the perfect place to remain hidden from view at the cabin, being behind a mountain. The castle could have been here this whole time, just an hour away from you, and you were never the wiser.

The very thought sent chills throughout your body. Just how close to death had you been this whole time?

You felt like you were going to hurl.

As much as you want to leave, and puke from the overwhelming emotions, you force yourself to stand your ground.

You had to investigate.

It wasn’t up for debate. As much as you would like to throw excuse after excuse until it was nighttime, you did not have that luxury.

You came to a decision.

The most important thing you could do right now is head into the castle and check things out. You had some weapons on you, so it wasn’t like you were going in defenseless.

If push comes to shove, you could always make a hasty retreat, and head back over to the cabin. There you could grab The Vampire Killer, and return after regaining your strength.

Was it the best plan? No. But right now, any plan was better than nothing.

A thought passed through your mind as you took a step forward.

Should you call for backup?

You had your father and step brothers, and even your uncle and aunt. Quick, you pulled your phone out, only to sigh in frustration.

“No service. Figures.”

You should have guessed. There was just barely usable service at the cabin, why would there be any out here in the wilderness?

Looks like it was all you. No help was coming for you.

If you died… You doubted help would come for you as well. Your family would probably only come looking for your equipment, if anything. The chances of them looking for you, especially here at this lake, were slim. There wasn’t a question in your mind that they would miss the castle.

Just like you had for who knows how long.

Gripping your phone for a moment, you sighed, before shoving it back in your pocket.

Calling was no use. It really was just you against the forces of evil.

“So much for an uneventful, relaxing trip…” You mumbled, and reached into your bag. Pulling out a dagger, you gripped in your hand for a few moments, before finally heading towards the castle.

The walk towards the looming castle wasn’t as long as you had hoped it to be. All the while, it also felt like it lasted an eternity.

Must have been the impending doom and anxiety, which only increased with each step you took.

Why hadn’t you come across any enemies? So far, just like you had seen from afar, there were no monsters.

Even as you quickly approached the gate, you saw no adversaries. No undead armies. No wolf men ready to tear you to shreds.

Just an old, rusted looking gate.

You couldn’t help but wonder, what was Dracula’s game? In nearly every journal you’ve read with family members in the past hunting him down, his castle is filled with enemies of all sorts. Even at the gate, monsters are usually ready to attack.

Yet, it was quiet.

For a few moments, you could only stare. It was now or never, and you couldn’t exactly ignore the fate of the world.

Gently pushing at the massive iron looking gate, you were surprised at how easy the door gave way. It slowly opened with a loud squeak of the hinges, stopping just a few feet forward, waiting for more force to push it forward.

You were a bit dumbstruck.

Was it really that easy? You weren’t going to lie, when you approached the gate, you assumed you may have to find another way in, or some obtuse way of opening it.

Peeking your head in, your eyes widened at just how… empty the courtyard was.

There were a surprising number of plants and trees, sure, but other than that? The only sign of movement there was, was the plants moving from the wind.

It was ominous. The lack of any life, or undead rather, made your hair stand on end.

A low rumble of thunder went off above you, and you looked up at the dark sky. Despite being early in the afternoon, it felt so late with the clouds surrounding the area like this.

It was fitting, you supposed.

Steeling your nerves, you pushed the door open further, and stepped into the courtyard. Each step had you on edge, with you anticipating an attack that never seemed to come.

That didn’t stop you from keeping an eye out though.

Approaching the door to the castle was more or less the same as the gate. Though it wasn’t any less daunting. The doors towered over you all the same, and did nothing to quell your nerves.

“...Should I knock?” You mumbled to yourself, before shaking your head.

“Stupid… It’s a Vampire Lord’s castle, who of which I’m supposed to vanquish. ‘Should I knock…’ what a dumb question.” you grumbled to yourself. Though at this point, it felt like you were stalling.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open, fully expecting an attack.

But once again, you were completely surprised to see an empty entry hall.

“...Now this is definitely weird.” You mumbled, carefully eyeing the long, dimly lit hall.

You pushed past the door, and let out a small squeak as it shut behind you. The grip you had on your dagger tightened, and you shuddered at how the temperature seemed to drop.

It was cold. Unnaturally cold.

The air was stagnant, and hardly cold itself, but something about the area was nearly sapping your warmth. Was it your nerves? Or just some aspect of the castle being supernatural?

Perhaps it was the strange nerve wracking loneliness that seemed to echo with each step down the hall?

Either way, something was not right about the castle, and it wasn’t just the fact it was a being of Chaos.

It was the fact that the further you walked in, you were encountering nothing.

The courtyard and entry all weren’t the only empty areas. The large open room you entered after that had also been empty, along with the hallway and stairway after that.

Not a monster in sight.

There wasn’t even any sign of life in this place. Sure, you hadn’t encountered anything yet, but every room you entered, every hall you cleared…

It was as if nothing was here in the castle.

You weren’t going to lie. You were starting to have doubts about this being Dracula’s castle.

But at the same time, there wasn’t any explanation for this place otherwise.

Not to mention, the air in this place wasn’t normal. There was an underlying power in the air. The same kind that made your hair stand on end. The same kind that made the air feel colder than what it was.

What castle could feel this way, besides Castlevania?

“Still… none of this makes any sense…” you mumbled to yourself as you cleared another empty room. At this point, you were both extremely nervous, and incredibly frustrated.

You had combed through several parts of the castle at this point. It was getting late, and you were getting nowhere. Already you had been through what looked like an art gallery, passed by a library, and pressed on through a giant dining hall.

As you neared another set of stairs, you could only run a hand through your hair in irritation and stress.

Despite how much ground you have covered, you found no sign of this place being lived in. You only had so much daylight left, and you were beginning to feel like you were investigating a weird, lost cause.

Still, you persevered. If there was a throne room, you at least wanted to check it out. If you didn’t find anything, you would come back another day more thoroughly prepared.

And if you found something? Well…

You could hope for the best. Maybe if Dracula is there, he would be weak? It would make sense, given the lack of life and monsters in the castle. If he was weak, you wouldn’t have to worry about not having your whip, you hoped.

If not… Well, you could run away. Despite the lack of weapons on you, you still had a few tricks up your sleeve. You didn’t live this long as a monster hunter without learning a few ways to give yourself a back door for a fast escape.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too hard to figure out where the throne room was. It tended to be high up in the castle in nearly every iteration your ancestors talked about in journals.

Still, as you came across a final staircase leading up to a separate tower of the castle, you couldn’t help but be more on edge than ever before. The clouds circled above you, occasionally cracking off lightning and thunder uncomfortably close by.

“It really feels like I’m about to be in some final showdown from a movie…” You mumbled as you approached the door, your dread pooling in your gut.

However, much like the growing trend of this castle, you noticed something odd.

The door to the throne room was open, and creaked on its hinges. It was as if it was half hazardly pushed away by someone running out the room.

You briefly wondered if that was a bad sign or not.

Going against the little voice in your head telling you to turn back, you pushed past the door and walked in.

The first thing you took note of, despite the poor lighting from outside, you could see just how huge the room was. You could easily imagine it being big enough for a battle, or a council meeting.

Then there were the giant windows that occasionally lit up the room whenever lightning strikes. Some were even open, clacking open and closed from the wind outside, said wind occasionally pushing the curtains back every so often.

It certainly added to the creepy atmosphere.

Finally, there were the two most glaringly obvious parts of the throne room. The giant throne on top of a set of stairs, and what looked to be a statue kneeling in front of it.

You could only stare in silence. The tension you felt in the air was so thick, you felt it could snap at any moment like a stretched out rubber band.

Your curiosity pushed over your fear, and you found yourself walking forward. Each footstep echoing through the chamber, the sounds of your steps bouncing off the walls.

Coming to a stop a few feet away from the throne and the statue, you couldn’t help but feel… odd at the sight. A mixture of fear, dread, curiosity and intrigue turned in your gut as you stared down the statue.

It was Dracula.

Or at least… You thought it was Dracula.

The statue was big, despite the figure kneeling on one knee in what looked like pain or exhaustion. A hand gripping his gut, while another reached forward, clawed fingers pointing towards you. A cloak seemed to wrap around his body, but it hardly hid his large form.

The head was… a lot of things.

His face was hauntingly beautiful, much like you had come to expect from vampires. What was his hair seemed to beautifully frame his face, with his mustache and beard only adding to the charm.

However, under the beauty, you could see traces of what he really was. A monster.

Despite his handsome features, his face was contorted in what looked like a pained snarl. His fangs were bursting forth, large and ready to pierce.

And his eyes… His eyes were wide open, the whites a darker shade than the iris, which only added to his supernatural and inhuman look.

The room was silent, and you felt your blood run cold, despite the sweat on your skin.

It was Dracula, no doubt about it, but…

Why was he a statue?

Tentatively, you took a few steps forward, but still kept your distance.

You studied the statue a bit more, rounding it cautiously. After a few moments, you carefully stepped forward, and poked the shoulder, before jumping backwards.

Pure stone.

Your hands fell to your sides. It really was just a statue.

“Unbelievable.” You mumbled, confusion and disbelief clear in your voice.

Just what was going on? The castle was here, so in theory, so should Dracula. Not a statue of the guy.

“Unless…” You murmured, putting a hand along your chin in thought.

Dracula being turned to stone somehow… Perhaps that was the reason the castle was like this?

It made sense, the more you thought about it.

“It’s as if the whole castle is asleep…”

If Dracula was technically alive, but out of commission, then it would make sense. Though if you were being honest with yourself, you were still surprised you weren’t seeing some of his more powerful supporters. Surely you would have at least seen Death by now?

The deity was loyal to its master, appearing even when Dracula had not always been in control. So where was Death, or any other powerful monsters that no doubt would support the Lord?

Perhaps being petrified like this, also cut ties with his presence to those powerful monsters? He simply seemed asleep to them, or not fully revived. If he wasn’t fully around, or at least enough for any of his powerful generals to sense him, they simply did not know he was here.

Other than that, it was the only explanation you had.

It still made you nervous and uncomfortable though.

You continued to eye the statue. Was Dracula dead, or was he aware? What had happened to lead to this?

Thinking hard, you tried to remember everything your mother had told you about the last time Dracula had appeared. It was a long time ago, and your mother had only heard about what had happened from another family member.

Didn’t she mention that the Belmont who defeated Dracula last say something about a curse?

You cursed your poor memory, which had been worsening with your own health as of late. Shaking your head with a sigh, your frown deepened.

Still, even if you didn’t know all the details, this could easily have something to do with said curse you were briefly told about all those years ago.

Biting your lip, you placed your hands on your hips, unsure what to do, or where to go from here.

Obviously no one was in danger at the moment, even if you still felt on edge. Dracula was very much contained here in the castle.

But that left you with a bunch of different thoughts rushing through your mind.

You couldn’t really ask for a better spot for the castle to be, if you were being honest. It was hidden, right along private property. Chances of civilians finding it were slim. The less innocent lives you had to worry about, even if it was idiots trespassing, the better.

Then there was how to deal with the problem at hand. What do you do with the statue and the castle? You couldn’t just leave Dracula here could you?

“If I had only brought the Vampire Killer…” You mumbled under your breath, nails digging into your palms.

The whip was ancient, but incredibly powerful. It was strong enough to break down stone. You could finish the job tonight, if you wanted to make the trek…

But would that be wise?

…Did you even have much of a choice?

It’s not like you can actually do anything right now, anyway. Your dagger and other weapons can’t cut through stone. Not like your whip could. You would be here for hours.

You let out a sigh and rubbed your temples, exhaustion creeping up on you. Sure, you hadn’t fought anything, but this whole ordeal was adding onto your already existing stress.

Running a hand through your hair, and looking out a nearby window, another thought ran through your mind.

What if you revived him by destroying the stone? Even if he was cursed, you weren’t aware of the specifics, and you didn’t want to be the one to accidentally doom the world by trying to ‘save’ it.

Feeling your hair stand on end again, you quickly glanced back at the statue. Even if he was on his knees, he was still level height with you.

And it felt like he was looking right at you.

The thought made you very anxious. Was he alive? Or even aware you were standing right in front of him? A Belmont, debating on how to end his life?

Suddenly, the very thought made your stomach sour.

“I… Need to go. I need to leave.” You said, finally making a decision. You needed to get away from here.

You were not equipped to handle this.

A fight to save the world? Sure, you could improvise.

But whatever was happening here? No. No way.

Despite your conscious telling you to stay and deal with the problem, you tentatively took a step backwards. Then another. And another.

Your eyes stayed on the statue until you reached the door, and you quickly turned and left, shutting the large door behind you.

It didn’t take you long to hightail it outta of the castle. The main layout you had passed was burned in your mind, and made it easier to run through.

Though it wasn’t until you were out of the castle, did you feel like a weight had been lifted off your chest. The moment you passed through those large, ominous doors and into the courtyard, it was as if you could breathe again.

You didn’t wait to catch your breath.

Running through the courtyard, you sprinted out past the rusted gate, not stopping until you were long past the lake that sat in front of the castle.

Finally, when you reached the spot where you had first noticed the castle, you came to an abrupt halt. Panting, you turned around, and eyed the ominous structure.

It was late now, the sun had been setting for a while. However, that didn’t hide the castle from your sight. The dark clouds still hovered above, with lightning and thunder striking every so often.

You still couldn’t believe it. Dracula’s castle was here, for who knows how long.

And you were going to have to destroy it somehow.

“Lucky me…” You mumbled.

Taking one last look, you anxiously made your way back to your cabin.

The walk back, which normally would have been peaceful and relaxing, was nothing but a stressful venture for you. Sure, the castle seemed empty, and you could no longer sense it the further you walked. However, that didn’t mean you were safe.

For all you knew, you were being followed by an army of hell, just waiting to ambush you.

That… didn’t really put you at ease, even as you approached your cabin.

Cautiously, you opened the door. With your weapon ready, you made a quick search of your small home.

Thankfully, no one but you seemed to be here. You weren’t sure if that relieved you, or made your anxiety worse.

You decided to take it as a blessing.

Still, you didn’t rest. It was too late to drive back, nor did you want to just leave, knowing the castle was right there, just an hour away by foot.

Biting your lip, you eyed the Vampire Killer, which was still sitting innocently on your bed. You could practically hear it in your mind to pick it up and head back to the castle. ‘Use me! Use me! Finish the job!’

As much as you wanted to, you felt a sick feeling in your stomach. Something wasn’t right, and you knew it. You just needed to figure out what it was, before you made any hasty decisions.

One wrong move, and you could not only revive your family’s immortal enemy, but also potentially doom the world if you fail at killing him. This was something where you had to tread lightly, lest you make a horrible, world ending decision.

No pressure.

You stood next to the bed for a few minutes. It felt as if your mind was racing, but you felt unable to think at all.

With a sigh, you made up your mind. Grabbing your whip and a bag, you headed to the backdoor. You wouldn’t be hunting Dracula tonight, no, but you still had to ensure your safety.

Starting with some protective measures.

Thankfully, throughout the generations, your family came up with many different ways to ward off monsters and vampires from properties. If you wanted any sleep tonight, you would have to put some of these in place, at least for your peace of mind. It wasn’t something that would take too long, but better safe than sorry.

Even if you hadn’t seen a single monster, you weren’t going to risk your life by making assumptions. It was small mistakes that got hunters killed, and you weren’t going to join their numbers.

Setting up a few traps and enchantments took longer than you would have liked, but you weren’t going to take any chances. Your cabin already had some traps in place, but renewing everything wasn’t going to hurt anyone, let alone you.

When you finally sat down on your bed, you rolled onto your back, and blankly stared at your ceiling. The Vampire Killer in your hand tightly.

“What now?” you asked yourself.

The answer seemed simple. Sleep, wake up, and take care of the problem.

It wasn’t that simple though. You already had fought yourself about this for hours. Did you really need to now, right before bed?

You turned your head to the side, seeing your phone charging on your nightstand.

“I could call for assistance…” you said, toying with the idea in your head. But did you really want to invite that mess here? With how reckless your family at home was, you didn’t think it was a good idea.

Then there was the fact they would find this place. Your little sanctuary away from them. They would never give you peace if they found this place. In fact, you were sure your father would tear it down, or claim it was his, since he was the beneficiary after your mother passed.

They would never let you have anything like this. You knew they already had tried multiple times to find where you go when you disappear, you weren’t going to give them that luxury.

Most of all, you weren’t going to give them the last thing left untouched that had been your mother’s.

You could call your other family, such as your uncle, but you shot idea that down. You hadn’t really talked to your aunt or uncle in years since your father took over everything. For all you knew, their numbers had been changed again. As much as they’d probably like to know what was going on, you felt a bitterness in your gut.

As much as you loved your aunt and uncle, they hadn’t so much bothered calling or texting you these past few years. Why would they help you now? Maybe for some glory? ‘To keep humanity safe?’ When they haven’t even helped out family?

You snorted. No thanks.

Besides, it would no doubt take them hours to get here, and they’d probably tell your father about this place against your wishes. Something about wanting all ‘Belmonts’ on deck. Bah.

Turning onto your side, you reached over and turned the lamp on your side table off.

You could think more on this tomorrow.

#castlevania #dracula vlad tepes #dracula #dracula x reader #castlevania x reader #x reader #reader insert #Belmont!reader #eventual relationship #cw death mention #cw anxiety #cw paranoia #cw toxic family #long post #zed.writes #to be continued

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therealbattleangel · 2 years

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Hi, Battle! I hope youre having a great day today 😍 i have a pierre bezukhov request for you if youre down for it? Its if y/n and pierre were in an arranged marriage but theyre secretly in love with each other, and its been months since theyre married and they can not take it anymore and just profess their love for the other, not caring if the other one decides to leave (which of course they wont) but to their surprise, the other feels the same! Up to you who confesses first! Thank you in advance! ❤❤❤

An Arranged Marriage (Pierre Bezukhov x GN!Reader)

TW: None, just pure fluff baby

(Requests Open !)

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FLASHBACK

Pierre couldn’t believe that just a few hours before the moment that changed his life forever, he was happy, peaceful and just going through his life like he did every other day. That was until one of the workers at his new estate let him know that he had a letter. He wasn’t expecting any letters from anyone so he was rather surprised at the contents of the letter but was excited nonetheless. That was until he actually began to read the letter;

“Hello Dearest Count Bezukhov,

I am writing as I recently heard about your father’s passing. I am deeply sorry for your loss. However, congratulations on the new title. I remember seeing you as just a child and suddenly, you are now a Count. Me and Y/N are very happy for you. I do hope you remember Y/N. Now, before your father had passed, we had made an arrangement. I told him I was at a bad point when it came to money and he, being the kind man we know he was, offered me something. He offered to have you and Y/N wed. I thought it was a brilliant idea and me and your father signed off on it. I was hoping to send this letter sooner but Y/N is on their way to the estate now. They will explain more. I apologize for springing this onto you so soon after your father’s death but you know what they say, time waits for no man.

Sincerely,

The Y/L/N Family”

Pierre could not believe it. Y/N was his childhood friend who he hasn’t seen since he first left to study abroad. He hadn’t seen them in years. And now they were heading to his home to marry him? He reread the letter again to make sure that he was not dreaming or hallucinating the words. Then, he was suddenly filled with rage. His father arranged for him to marry someone without ever asking him what he thought of it. And to make it even worse, Y/N was still angry at Pierre for leaving without saying goodbye. Pierre couldn’t ever bring himself to say goodbye to them so he left without doing it and that hurt them deeply. But now, there was no running away. Y/N was on their way to his estate and they were going to get married.

Hours seemed to pass by so slowly as Pierre waited out his impending doom. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Pierre quickly walked to the front door, waiting as the doorman opened it, revealing an older, more matured Y/N. God, they were beautiful. Pierre shook that thought away before bowing his head. Y/N walked into the estate before taking a deep breath and smacking Pierre “that is for leaving me! Without any goodbye of any sort! For all the years you left me questioning if you were even alive!” They shouted as they continued to smack Pierre’s arm “how dare you not even write? Not even once? And this is how I find out how you are? By finding out you and your father planned with my father to have us wed? How dare you?” Pierre shook his head, still blocking his face “no, I was not a part in this decision. I just found out this morning about everything. Thanks to your father’s letter. I promise I had nothing to do with this.” Y/N sighed before they shook their head, sniffling as they tried to hold tears back. Pierre then softly said “he said that you would explain better when you arrived. Are you able to?” he said, his naturally caring persona finally showing. Y/N took another deep but shakier breath before nodding “we… Are to marry in three days time. Afterwards, I will live here with you. And my father will get a part of your father’s fortune. And so will I, though I have no interest in the money. The wedding will be held here in the garden. And until then, we… Can just loathe each other” they said before walking away, leaving Pierre to think through what they said. Three days? Loathe each other? Pierre never loathed them. He loved them.

END OF FLASHBACK; THREE MONTHS LATER

After the wedding, Y/N and Pierre kept their distances for the most part. They would eat lunch and dinner together, usually quietly but sometimes with slow banter, they would visit other parties together and act much happier there but other than that, they stayed apart. They slept in separate rooms and made sure their tasks for the day would never lead to them seeing each other. And for Pierre, this was torture. Pierre still loved Y/N, and had loved them since before he left to study abroad. But it seemed like Y/N was still angry about it. But now, Y/N had something else to be angry at him for; the marriage. It was clear to Pierre that Y/N did not want to be married to him. Why else would they be avoiding Pierre all the time? And Pierre has passed by maids gossiping about hearing Y/N crying late into the nights which made Pierre want to go and protect them, help them, comfort them, but he couldn’t. They lived this rotation for three months until one night, Pierre lost it.

Y/N and Pierre sat together, enjoying their dinners in silence. Suddenly, Y/N pushed the food away and began to walk away, causing Pierre to stand up “Are you alright, dear?” he asked, forgetting he was supposed to be hating them. Y/N shook their head “I just… I can’t be around you right now, I’m sorry.” Pierre then huffed “no. No more. No more of you running away from me. Look, I am sorry. I am sorry that I hurt you all those years ago and I am sorry that our father’s decided our fates for us without ever asking for our opinions and I am sorry that I am stopping you from being married to a man you actually loved but for god's sake, can you just not hate me? I want to take care of you and protect you even if it is just as a friend. But please stop running away from me, Y/N. I love you!” he shouted out before widening his eyes when he realized what he had said. Y/N widened their eyes too.

Pierre then sighed “I… I didn’t want to tell you like this but I… Love you. I have loved you since we were kids. That’s why I never said goodbye. I knew that if I saw you again… I would have stayed, just so I could be with you. But I had to leave so I did and never told you or wrote to you about it because I was scared. I was scared that you would hate me and it seems like my fears were right and I am truly sorry.” As Pierre spoke, he felt tears welling in his eyes. He then took a shaky breath before he hummed “if you want to leave now, I understand. I apologize for everything and I hope you can-” Suddenly, Pierre felt his face being cupped by two hands and felt someone’s lips against his. He then realized it was Y/N. Y/N was kissing him. Shocked, Pierre slowly pulled away before raising an eyebrow at Y/N as he panted “what… What was that for?” Y/N then looked up at Pierre which made him notice that they, too, were crying. But they were also smiling “Pierre, I… I never hated you. Never truly. I… I love you too. But I thought you left without saying goodbye because you hated me.” Pierre then shook his head “no, how could I ever hate you?” They then both smile at each other before pulling each other into another kiss, this one longer and more romantic then the last. After a while, Pierre pulled away before smiling once again. He then picked Y/N up bridal style, causing Y/N to gasp and giggle “what are you doing, Pierre?” Pierre looked down at Y/N with a smile “we are going to my bedroom. To make up for lost time.” Y/N then smiled up at Pierre before nodding “I will like that plan.”

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for this request. It was a lot of fun to write. Pierre is my sweet little cinnamon roll so I love writing for him. Also, whenever I get requests, I do them as soon as I possibly can because I am a try hard so I hope this is well written or at least good enough that you guys enjoyed reading it.

#paul dano #paul dano fanfic #paul dano imagines #paul dano x reader #pierre bezukhov #pierre bezukhov x reader #pierre bezukhov imagines #war and peace #war and peace fanfic #danonation

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kakusu-shipping · 4 months

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1, 2, 4, 11, and 18 for the end of year asks? :0

Aaah thankyou Echo!!! This post might be long, please forgive me!

1. Did you add any F/Os to your list this year? Were they from new media or just a newly discovered love?

Here's every romantic F/O added to the list this year, or at least that I can remember adding this year. Years are long and my sense of time is very warped so it may not be fully accurate.

Most are from new media, or just new parts of media, like the end of the Owl House and the New Pokemon Games. The ones that are new loves from re-visits are Heracross, Smeargle, and Keckleon from Monster Mind, Mario and Luigi from Super Mario, Makarov from Fairy Tail, and Jill from The Wayward Children series.

Though Mario and Luigi are also what I consider my first F/Os, they weren't officially on the list until the movie came out, so I'm counting them in the 2023 yearly wrap.

2. Did you reconsume any of your F/Os’ source media this year? How did you feel about the rewatch/listen/read/etc?

I rewatch Assassination Classroom every year in March and it makes me cry every time. I also replay Hatoful Boyfriend and Holiday Star every December for Kazuaki and Hitori, watch Baka and Test sometime around late Summer most years to ease my seasonal depression, and rewatch Mushishi at least once a year.

Other than that, nothing super meaningful. I rewatched a few LPs of Mario games, replayed through Paper Mario myself, watched Romantic Killer again, Reread Manly Appetites every other month or so, watched The Cat Returns once or twice, played more Pokemon, Restarted Monster Mind (still haven't finished it), and skimmed the Ouran Manga at the library while waiting for them to replace the volume they're missing.

HOWever, this latest reread of Down Among the Sticks and Bones is what got me to finally put Jill on the F/O list, so that feels worth mentioning. I love that book <3

4. Was there anything on your blog that you were particularly proud of this year?

No, not really. My drawings were all very incomplete and sketchy this year with long gaps between them, and my writing really flaked off suddenly, I haven't written more than a paragraph at all this year.

I wouldn't say I'm particularly proud of them, but I did really enjoy making moodboards last month and am kind of waiting for my health to settle so I can get back to them. Making stuff for other self shippers is a lot more fun than writing/drawing for myself atm.

11. Was there new media for any of your F/Os this year? If so, what was your opinion on it?

Yes FNaF Help Wanted 2 came out and gave us New Sun Content and I LOVED IT!!!!! He's such a bitch!!!! A shit!!! A snobby theater kid!!! He's so controlling and harsh I LOVE him <3 So happy to know more about him honestly and that he's not all UwU Caregiver that the fandom made him. I like soft characters, but he's a HORROR character he needs to be a little fucked up!!

18. Did you have a favorite trend in the selfship community from the past year?

I'll be honest, I don't pay much attention to what other people in the selfship community are doing. I follow the tags but if there's like a popular trend thing going around, I miss it every time.

My LEAST favorite right now though is the whole "Stolen from an Anti" thing. I have no qualms about stealing posts it's whatever, but I hate when it's says that in text at the bottom of the post. Just tag it as such so I can filter it please

#Thankyou for asking #Long post #Sorry sorry for the long post I wanted to put all the photos in there!!!!#Aaaah I've been wanting to go back to Monster Mind for a few weeks now but I'm #Soooooo sick I don't have the energy for it #And my MOUSE KEEPS DOUBLE CLICKING #Which would be back for a puzzle game...#Augh... anyway......#Thankyou so much for asking Echo #I'm so sad the tumblr year in review thing isn't happening this year #I really really like seeing who I posted the most about this year...#And using it to make a new banner #Hm what should I do then... I didn't do a Halloween one this year...#I don't wanna just wait till February for my birthday one...#But I can't.... draw.... right now..........#Augh......#I'll figure it out

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everythingsinred · 1 year

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what follows is a long, rambly, and possibly sappy thank you note to the best fandom ive ever involved myself in. if you have ever sent me an ask, commented on my fics, or replied to a post i made (or even liked it tbh)--then this post is for you. (and this is most certainly not a good-bye or even close; i just occasionally get into sappy moods)

i want to start working on a career that i like, and my mom’s recommendation was to start a writing blog (she insisted i dont call it that though--to call it a “website” so it sounds more professional when i apply for writing gigs). its not the first time shes given me that advice but i have for some reason always resisted that idea before. “nobody would read it” was always the bottom line. that whole “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has always been my outlook on anything i produce. its why i feel so poorly whenever i post a new chapter of a fic or any art ever. its why im taking so long on the next batch of ga essays. its why ive never formally submitted any writing ever for publishing. why would anyone read anything i have to write, especially with no dead fandom to prompt them? who would choose me out of all the aspiring writers out there?

for ga it was a bit easier after a bit of breaking through the initial anxiety of sharing bits of myself. its a small fandom. not much content going around. theyd take anything right? even if it was from me!

but something really weird happened these past few years in the ga fandom. i started writing essays and became more vocal, posting my thoughts, writing a long, dark, fucked up fanfic. i got feedback from people who wanted more from me. theyd ask me my thoughts on things, when id never considered myself an authority on anything or even very interesting to talk to (a lifetime of being the substitute friend will do that to you). ppl sent me asks about questions. they replied to my posts to further discuss things. me! what on earth?

then it got weirder. i posted my weird messed up little fic and now every once in a while ill get a comment from a person that says that my fic is their favorite, not just in the fandom, but ever. EVER. what? a couple of people have told me that they’d read anything i wrote, even if it had nothing to do with gakuen alice.

that they’d read something just because it was me.

this isnt a rant or a vent. something has changed in my self esteem in the past few years because today, when my mom told me i should start a “writing website” and post weekly writing, it actually sounded like a decent idea. no part of her advice was different than it had ever been, but i was. i could for the first time imagine starting a blog (website) and picture someone actually liking what they found there. and that’s bc of the ga fandom and bc of the writing ive done it for it and SPECIFICALLY the writing ive actually had the guts to share.

none of it has been perfect. im lazy when it comes to self-editing and when i finish writing a chapter im eager to just throw it out there instead of rereading it once, let alone twice. a lot of it has been imperfect, but you guys still read it. you enjoyed it, even. “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has never been a problem for you. for whatever reason, quite a few of you like me, like my writing, like my ideas and thoughts. a couple of years ago i wouldnt have been able to fathom that, not even in my wildest dreams.

im proud of myself for taking those first steps a couple years back, for posting those first couple posts and letting myself get involved in the fandom for a manga ive loved for half my life. im proud because if i hadnt done that, then maybe my self esteem wouldnt have developed like this. maybe i wouldnt have been able to picture a career in publishing as clearly as i can now. i obviously still have issues as far as my self esteem is concerned. i second-guess myself. i talk down to myself. i put off rereading bc i dont want to hate what i create. but you guys have helped me like my writing and helped me see that other people can like it too.

i am beyond grateful for that. i dont get a lot of traction or feedback like i would if i were in a larger fandom, but i dont mind. the feedback that i do get is of such good quality and has meant so much to me that it has potentially changed my life. i just needed you all to know that. that the people who have sent me asks, both on and off anon, requesting my thoughts on any topic; the people who leave comments on ffn and ao3, giving support ranging from long paragraphs to a brief sentence; the people who dm me or message me to share their thoughts on my work; the people who commented on my natsumikan essays telling me that ive helped them see something from a different perspective--you all have helped me see that there’s value in the things i create.

i just want to say thank you. it has meant so much to me so far to be able to feel so confident in my writing. i really didnt even notice the change until today. how bizarre is it that something so important can change without you even noticing? i look forward to sharing more with you, from more fics to the mikan essay (which still has to be perfect, just maybe not as perfect as it wouldve had to be a few years ago lol).

don’t be nervous that this a good-bye. it is not. it’s strange because whenever i’ve said anything like this (sent a message of adoration to a person i love, for example), people think it’s a bad sign. that i’m saying good-bye, or that it’s somehow a sign of something unsaid. i understand. this kind of nonsense sappiness (like all that stuff i wrote up there ^) is usually saved for the ffn bio when someone is leaving the site, for the good-bye post when someone decides to leave a fandom. “you’ve all meant so much to me and i’m leaving now.” that’s because usually people save all the important things for the end. you only say how you’ve felt when you say farewell. i don’t think life should be that way. i’m not saying good-bye, i’m saying i love you. i think people should say that more. i want people to feel good about themselves for what they’ve done, however small, to make my life--and undoubtedly the lives of others--a little brighter. and you have. you should know and i don’t intend to keep it to myself until i say good-bye (whenever or even if that happens).

tldr; i love you gakuen alice fandom <3 youre not dead because dead things cant give life the way you have.

#me and the gakuen alice fandom: a love story for the ages #my beautiful messiah.#if i ever come across as confident #especially in my older posts #that is incidental. i am always nervous to press post. this fandom has helped me grow so much yall have no idea #ga #gakuen alice #little anya things #this is partially a musing on my conversation w my mother abt the website #but also partially a response to every post on the ga tag complaining abt the dead fandom #i feel like its maybe unfair to judge the fandom based on how few ppl post (when its not even that few--i do track the tag)#when so many ppl love it and are eager to jump in on conversations to talk about it #it may be small but its passionate. passion is the lifeblood of any media that has stuck around in ppls hearts as long as ga has #i dont think that should be understated #my advice as someone who also mourned the 'death' of the fandom:#talk anyway.#youll bring all the ghosts out <3 and theyre for the most part quite friendly #if nobody reads this thats okay. i just needed to say it

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fictionadventurer · 1 year

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I had the (probably cringe) idea to write a yearly wrap-up of my blog in the form of a Christmas letter, but going back through the archive made me realize that there's a lot of memories that I want to address, so I'll casually take this month by month and talk about the things that seem interesting.

First up:

January

The year started off with an ask game where I recommended a book I read last year and an unread book on my shelves. It was tons of fun (and I'm considering doing it next year), though unfortunately it did not have the intended effect of getting me to read the unread books on my shelf. Of the books I recommended, I only read one (though I did read pieces of others and donated others unread when I decided I just wasn't interested enough.)

@magpie-trove started an ask game where mutuals played fairy godmother and chose ballgowns for people. I got several and they were lovely.

I watched the first couple of episodes of the new Around the World in 80 Days. I liked some parts, even though it was wildly different from the book, but I stopped watching when all of the character changes opted for the most cliche melodramatic backstory for every character.

I posted the first part of the Glorya M. Hayers Christmas mystery "The Christmas Card Caper", thanks to an interlibrary loan from @isfjmel-phleg. Unfortunately, distractions kept me from posting the rest, and it became less of a priority once the Christmas season passed. I would very much like to see if I can find where I stashed the rest of the transcription and post the remainder for this year's holiday season, but with my switch to a new computer, there's no guarantee I'll find it.

@freenarnian's Light in the Dark Academia trend swept through the circle of mutuals, leading to some beautiful moodboards. Jumping on the bandwagon taught me how to make moodboards, so I made several in January and used others for various projects throughout the year.

I finished off the first round of Imaginary Book Recs, and then archived them in a post that also provided Real Book Recs for the people who had requested them.

I read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Its weirdness baffled and delighted me.

I reread Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South for the first time (via audiobook) and adored it much more than I did on first read. The book became a very important part of my mental landscape this year.

@brown-little-robin inspired a challenge for people to write poems in response to Robert Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay". I caved to temptation and wrote my first poem in years. I had all but forgotten I'd written it, so it was an unexpected delight to remember that I wrote a poem this year, even if it's aggressively mediocre.

I posted the complete story of "Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch and the Frog Prince", which gives a Wodehouse spin on the fairy tale that provides an origin story for the hero of this particular universe.

I posted my long-overdue essay defending concise writing techniques from those who say they're only meant to keep you from using too many words by arguing it's meant to teach you when to use words for the best effect.

There were a surprising number of posts where we discussed the difference between lyric-forward and music-forward songs, and songs that are meant to be listened to versus sung-along with.

I finished off a few posts discussing characters from my Jane Austen with Superpowers Powers and Prejudice universe, which I proceeded to ignore until July, when I overhauled the universe.

#2022 fictional adventures

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ren-c-leyn · 2 years

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Happy STS Ren! Today I would like to ask about your editing process. You rewrite drafts for one thing, but what else do you do? What does usually change between drafts? Do you need distance to be able to see what needs to be changed? How do you evaluate the quality of your writing? Any editing tools/helps/rules that help you either to write or to edit later?

+ a writing update ^^

@writingonesdreams

Happy STS to you too, Dreams ^^

So, editing. It's not my favorite part but it's actually the most organized part of my entire chaotic process.

So, first, I have a confession to make - I do edit as I write. Sometimes line edits, if the typo/missing word/janky sentence are really, really bugging me. Mostly, though, it's me going back and making rough blocks of foreshadowing/events that needed to happen in earlier chapters to make my surprise plot twists make sense in later chapters.

The fact that I cannot do this part of my editing process with The Shackles of Time due to posting it as I'm going makes me very, very nervous as it is a key part of my writing. The problem with my chaotic style is not even I see some of the things that happen later on coming, therefor I could not foreshadow ahead of time. So, yeah. I reread Shackles of Time frequently to try to minimize this particular aspect of my writing/editing process. (I'm scared for when it gets long enough that I can't knock out a reread in a weekend. That's going to make future chapters a touch stressful XD)

When I finish a draft, I let it sit for a minimum of two weeks. Usually longer, but mostly because I'm juggling half a dozen projects all at different stages so things get dropped for a hot minute.

Sometimes I'll come back from letting it sit and do some minor to moderate edits, lines, some consistency tweaks, but no major overhauls of the plot. It honestly depends on how intensive the fixes to the story are needed if I do this or not. Usually this step happens when there's something about it that's bugging me that I can't quite pin down. If I do this extra step, I let it sit again for a minimum of 2 weeks.

Then I break out the physical notebook. Now, when I sit down with physical paper, that's it for the draft. No more edits, no more tweaks, it lives like that now. I read. Anything edits I need to make, particularly to character arcs, the plot, and other major overhauls get jotted down alone with things I really like about the draft that I want to keep.

Then I rewrite the entire draft using my notes and the previous drafts as a guide.

This process gets repeated over and over until I get a draft I want to keep. The requirements for a keeper draft is 1. No major overhauls needed, moderate and lower issues are easily dealt with without rewriting, plot holes have been resolved or can be resolved with a few added/deleted paragraphs, and the entire draft flows decently while I'm reading it.

Then I go through multiple editing passes to clean up the prose, add some detailing, scrap some filler words, and what have you until I'm happy with it.

That's not to say the finished product ends up flawless. I've reread chapter 1 of The Shackles of Time at least 6 times now and I still randomly find typos in it XD

As for your update, I finished up another celebration post. I just need to schedule it. I've been working on another one while doing other things today. Once I finish this one, I just have one left and then I'm done with the anniversary posts.

However, I have decided that I will be redoing The Shackles of Time's banner to celebrate it's second year. So all chapters scheduled after it's official birthday will have the new banner. I may decide to do a new banner every year as a sort of mini-celebration.

Other than that, I have nothing else to report. I've been making a mad dash to finish these up since October is just around the corner.

Thanks for stopping by, I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

#sts #writing discussion

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penrose-quinn · 2 years

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Hi Pen 😁

I'm thrilled you rb the writing ask post! I was secretely hoping you would so I could ask you some questions 😳. If you're not too busy and you still feel like it, I'd be super interested in 6), 11), 13), 50) and 58) (I hope it's not too much, feel free to skip some questions if you want)

I hope you're doing okay, please take good care of yourself and have a nice day ❤💗!

Hi Obsidian 💕

Thank you for asking! Ohh, I’m really not sure if I have interesting answers, but I’m flattered that you want to ask me anyway!! RL failed me so I’m actually bailing it atm haha. Dw not too much at all, I enjoyed the questions! I just hope I’m not overbearing with my answers. They’re a bit lengthy 👉👈

Likewise! Hoping you always have an awesome day and take care!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡⋆

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

Turned out to be more than a line, but I’ll just let this one slip! This one is from GL chap 11, just a snippet between Shin and Izana.

No one ever told him that nicotine shouldn’t be something he was supposed to crave – he didn’t mean to poison you the way he did – though he would to his little brother back then and it spared him a few more years until he could flicker one by himself on the same harbor, the same shade of night. Someday, the Black Dragon embroidered on his back.

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I never write things in order lol. I jump around so much that any poor soul who takes a peek of my notes will be so confused. I see it more as stitching up a bunch scenes together and then hoping it makes sense in post-editing. I'm sadly not organized enough to plot down what'll happen point for point. I go with the flow and what feels right 😔

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

Yup! I rarely work in complete silence in anything. My thoughts are too loud and it's hard for me to concentrate without music or some form of noise in the background. Currently, well mostly, As It Was by Harry Styles since I'm planning to use that as a header for the next chapter in GL. Somebody to Love by Queen because I'm thinking of Shin lol. Was even debating whether I should put this as the header at first. Ship to Wreck and Delilah by Florence + The Machine for GL!MC because nothing beats a soulful song about love and self-destruction. Hmm, a few songs from Metric, POWERS, and The Smiths in between. I'm sorry this is a lot of different genres 😅 but I usually run through multiple songs to find that specific mood for scenes.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

Oof, this is a hard one. I’m not sure how to describe it, though I suppose when it’s comes to my writing I cull out as much words as possible but still try - emphasis on try :’) - to make it vivid, evocative, and surreal in a sentence. I guess this comes from attempting to emulate Japanese writers and poets since they're such masters at capturing the right words while being so descriptive and subtle in a few, simple sentences.

Though I rely more on how people describe my writing because I don’t want to think too deeply about it haha. A friend and mutual of mine once described it as something that should be read multiple times because after every reread, they find new meanings to the words and actions of the characters, that there are these hints they have to work to find, just the 'blink-and-you'll-miss-it' nature of it. This comment always made my heart skyrocket ever since. That, and the stream of consciousness one from three respected writers (Hi Obsidian 💓) from three completely different fandoms. That one surprised me the most because all of you literally said the same thing and it made me happy :)

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

It's hard for me to cite a certain piece because I've already written a lot to recall something specific to be a favorite and I like my writing, even though I still think it's amateur. When it comes to figurative language, a pattern I like and notice is 'lost and found', death, distance, tenderness and violence, ghosts or whatever supernatural entity really, the act of bleeding, the act of devouring, and eyes that reveal more about the observer than the object of their observation.

It's the setting too! Seasons, surroundings, places, and even history/time as a way to convey the innermost emotions, sentiments, identities, and gradual changes of the characters and their relationships. Everything blends in so much that what's happening is surreal and a little vague which is which, what's tangible or not, is it really the rain or the sound of someone's heartbeat. That kind of thing 😊

#pen answers #i actually wasn't expecting anyone to ask me anything (i was following your footsteps in getting a mutual to rb lol)#i get excited over reading others' asks about their writing #not that i didn't get excited that you asked me 💕#thank you again for this!#writing

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falcqns · 2 years

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Fame Dr: like what sort of things do you do, like acting/training for roles (like stunt training and stuff), photo shoots, premieres? How do you deal with the paparazzi? Do you ever get overwhelmed? I’m afraid I’ll find it super scary and not fun, I know I could script that stuff out but idk if I should

when it comes to training for roles, it just depends on the movie! here's my roles and what i did to prepare:

tv shows:

The Witcher S3: i did some sword training, and learned to ride a horse again (i used to be a horseback rider but havent ridden in years so it was nice to brush up on it!). i had a dialect coach as well as i needed a british accent lmao

The Orville New Horizons: no real training required, just read a few books that Seth recommended to me so i could understand what i was saying and met with Neil Degrasse Tyson with Seth as well and he answered any questions i had

Criminal Minds: nothing really, although i did take a refresher psych course, and met with a forensic psychologist and a profiler to interview them and get a taste for the work they had to do on a daily basis

Murdoch Mysteries: nothing! just team bonding really, which i did with all of them!

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier: not my first marvel project but i sustained an injury during The Witcher shoot so i had to rebuild by core muscles a little. i also read the comics about my character.

Movies:

We're The Millers: no prep i literally showed up and did what my mom told me to do lmao

Knives Out 2: team bonding which was scary and i had just come off of The Witcher shoot (literally less than 18 hours after wrapping) and was exhausted but we all went out and partied. other than that, i met with Rian and rewatched the first one

Batman v Superman: oh dear lord. i put myself through literal hell for this role but i dont regret it. i was eating as healthy as i could and working out every day, plus fight training, and taking extra ballet classes to make sure my body was in the best shape it could be (shit was rough) so i could do my own stunts. met with Zack Snyder and read all the comics Kara is in. I only met with Henry once as despite being in the same film, we were only in 2 scenes together, and one of them i didn't talk so we barely connected (he literally forgot that we were in the same movie and thought they'd recasted the original actor for Justice League the big dummy)

Mama Mia Here We Go Again: i took some refresher vocal lessons since i've only ever sang praise songs in church.

Mockinbird: my first marvel project and it literally knocked me on my ass. i thought the training for Batman v Superman was rough, it was nothing compared to this and the sheer amount of time and choreography that goes into a single fight scene oh my gosh. when i wasnt training, i was reading every single marvel comic that had my characters parents in it, and was meeting with illustrators and writers because my character wasn't in the comics, but was actually an original character that took over the internet bc of a fanfiction in 2012, and they decided to add her in lol so that meant making new comics that fit into the mcu timeline and giving my character a back story before the movies. i also met with so many marvel executives, was constantly doing interviews and meeting new people and trying to adjust to script changes practically hourly. i literally couldnt move or speak when i got a break from filming. i loved every second of it though!

Spiderman No Way Home: had just finished filming Man of Steel 2 so no training needed physically, but rewatched my past marvel projects and reread some comics that Kevin told me to to remind myself of the character

Enola Holmes 2: read the Enola Holmes book series and a few Sherlock books. i also watched Sherlock Holmes (the one w rachel mcadams as she played my character before i did) but thats about it. Henry actually remembered who i was and recommended me for the role

Secrets of Dumbledore: wand training! i took a beginners latin course to help with pronunciation at the request of JKR

Multiverse of Madness: no retraining, finished filming NWH and went into preproduction for MoM immediately

Drawing With Light: re read the book, met with the author, and met with my dialect coach again

They Both Die At The End: met with the author and reread the book!

and ngl, i despise photo shoots. i hate them with a passion, but i power through because i know they're important, but other than for promo, i don't do photo shoots which can sound weird considering im working on a makeup line with Sephora but i chose to have my siblings model it instead (with their consent of course).

and premieres can be fun if you make them fun! the red carpet usually lasts for an hour or two before the movie actually starts, and (at least for me) i only ever do between 3 and 5 interviews on the carpet because anything else overwhelms me and i'll shut down. i spend the rest of the time talking to fans and taking photos, and i'll go into the theatre early to give myself a noise and speaking break before the movie starts, and then the movie starts, and its so much different from a regular movie screening. everyone stays until the end credits, every one claps for everyone, and not a single person gets up during the movie (u didn't hear this from me but my mom wears depends for premieres just in case). the director and executives and producers usually talk to the audience and thank them and things, and sometimes it happens before and sometimes i happens after. just depends on the timing and the studio really!

i fucking hate paparazzi. i don't hate the people bc i know they're just doing their job, but i find it a tad ridiculous they have to approach me while shopping for pads and ask me how i feel about Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian dating WHEN WE HAVENT BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 FUCKIN YEARS. they can take photos of me all they want, i dont care. they can literally blast "ava aniston shops for period products at 3 am in dri fit shorts, puma socks, birkenstocks that are falling apart and a red henley that looks like it belongs to chris evans" all they want but to ask me about an ex's new relationship pisses me off and crosses a line. and dont get me started on the way they were when my grandma passed away because how dare i go get a coffee when i should be at home comforting my grieving mother 🙄

and i absolutely get overwhelmed. my dad has gone viral a few times because he doesnt hesitate to yell at the paparazzi when they cross a line or when he can tell i'm overstimulated. i'm very thankful that i have someone like my chrissy boy who can tell when i've had enough and am going to meltdown/shutdown and removes me from the situation (literally called his mom to come and get me in front of them because they all know not to mess w mama lisa and her babies)!

you can always script these things out, but i didnt, because it gives me a better appreciation for celebrities and the things they go through, and i personally think its a part of the experience. and messing with the press is kind of fun (in the middle of gaslighting them into thinking chris and i are married and we're having tons of fun with it) so just remember that its your dr and you can change whatever you want within reason!!

happy shifting and i hope this helps! <3

#ava's anons #ava's sweet anons #ava's a shifter

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leonbloder · 2 months

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Make. Good. Art.

I'm a comic book nerd.

When I was in my early twenties, I collected comics, but my weekly comic bill got up to about $75, and with a new baby on the way, I decided my collecting days were over.

But I did amass a pretty good collection full of rare comics and a host of first editions.

During this time, I was introduced to author and creator Neil Gaiman through his Sandman series, which became one of my favorites. His use of mythology, religion, and pure imagination appealed to me.

Sandman was recently released as a series on Netflix, and I loved every episode. Other books of Gaiman's that have been made into movies are American Gods, Good Omens, and Coraline.

He's written scores of books and comics that have won almost every award you can win as a comic creator. He has worked on musical projects, plays, and episodes of Doctor Who, along with other TV projects.

It's not fair, is it? How can one person be so talented?

I discovered a book that Gaiman wrote on creativity a few years ago entitled Art Matters and read and reread it several times. The quote below is my absolute favorite:

Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art.

So there's so much about this quote that I love, and something about it is terrifying. There's freedom in this idea, but it comes only through a willingness to be vulnerable and to allow for failure.

If we want to become the people we long to be, we must be willing to fail occasionally. We need to be completely fine with making mistakes. We don't need to double down on denial when we mess up. We also don't need to blame others (which many of us do). And we don't need to try to cover up our blunders.

The trick is to allow ourselves to follow Gaiman's advice and make interesting, unique, glorious, and fantastic mistakes that speak to our willingness to try something new even when we have no idea how it might turn out.

Each mistake we make is a step in learning the lessons we need to discover who we are and how much we are capable of.

We also need to realize that if we venture nothing, we gain nothing. So many people spend a lifetime holding on to their god-given gifts because they worry that if they share them, they won't be well-received.

Who cares? Share them anyway.

Author Bob Goff once wrote, "Don't fail watching, fail trying."

I love that so much. There will be critics because there are always critics who risk nothing, share nothing, and then stand around critiquing those who do.

Critics are not your crowd, your people, or your audience. You are not sharing your gifts to please them because they are seldom pleased. You share your gifts because you can't keep the fire in your heart contained.

You share your gifts because there will be someone who resonates with what you are doing and will almost certainly tell you so by affirming your gifts and what your sharing has meant to them.

God has placed a desire in your heart and a purpose in your life. It may change with age, wisdom, or ability, but whatever form it takes throughout your life, be true to it.

Make. Good. Art.

And know this: Art can be whatever you are compelled to create, share, or let loose into the world.

Let it loose without fear. The world needs what you have to share.

May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.

#presbymusings #dailydevotion #leonbloder #dailydevotional #dailydevo #christian living #leon bloder #spiritualgrowth #faith #spirituality #art #fearless

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montanababe7 · 7 months

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Wrote this last year: She was uncommon. Unlike many. Most didn’t understand her. She thought for years this was her pain. Here is what she didn’t know. Jesus had set her apart for a unique purpose. She was different than most. She was supposed to be. Here’s the even bigger truth and a huge part of her testimony. She was supposed to be. She was meant to be that square peg near that round hole 🕳. She was never meant to be just like the rest. She wasn’t meant to fit in. She was supposed to stand out. She was a leader. Deep down she always knew this to be the truth of the matter. Religious Persecutions couldn’t stop that. A narcissistic & psychopathic birth mother couldn’t stop that. Every pain in the book couldn’t even stop that. Jesus has the final say in her life. Nope. Nothing could stop who Jesus called her to be.

For you see, Jessica was special. She was set apart. She didn’t always understand this. She had doubted who Jesus had called her to be for years. And yes, I understand that I have written this about myself in nearly third person trilogy form. I tend to do that when I’ve drank coffee later on in the evening, and when I’m somewhat sleep deprived. The point is. Jesus has been doing an awful lot of inner healing in my heart lately.

And frankly, I’m starting to understand more and more of just how much I’m liking my later 30’s and soon to be in the 40’s age group in just a few short years from now.

Not to mention, I think we all may just be in the tribulation time zone or in the great tribulation time era. And yes, I realize that I’m writing this at exactly 12:38 am. I’ve always been thinking an awful lot on seafood, and sushi, watching the hart of Dixie, izombie, and rewatching the dexter series, rereading the left behind series once more, reading a book on inner healing and working on my heart. Oofta. The point is.

We’re all going through lots of inner healing moments and yes. Things have deeply been shifting and changing in the realms of the spirit.

We’ve stepped into a new era. Something greatly shifted. Something is different.

The future is going to be amazing.

It’s pumpkin spice latte season for now.

And soon it’ll be peppermint latte season, yay!

Yup. I’m tired. Haha. When I get tired. I ramble and write about

A lot.

And than I think about food. Pinning on Pinterest. What to create the next day. What to write more on. Most importantly to pray for others. And pray. Read my Bible.

Much is coming. Jesus is moving quickly. Times have shifted. Needing to be ready.

Joy is just over the river bend.

Trust. Jesus.

Focus on Jesus and not on the waves 🌊.

There will be much to come in the latter days.

Trust Jesus.

Be there for others. Much is coming.

Get ready folks. Get ready. Pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray and rejoice.

Things are changing.

That’s all that Jesus has said for n o w.

Jessica Wolf

🙏🏼love

You guys:)

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reblogthiscrapkay · 1 year

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Review Of My 2022 New Year’s Resolutions/2023 Resolutions

Time for my yearly breakdown. This was, honestly and truly, one of if not the roughest year of my entire life so far. Sure, 2020 sucked for everyone and I remember my 2015 (I think) starting off really bad but ending okay, but this one takes the cake unquestionably. I am still in the grieving and recovery process. That being said, whatever progress I made on my resolutions pales in comparison to the fact that I am still here. *Reduce “Want To Read” list down to 60. Reread a book. Mild Fail. My read list is currently sitting at 77, which is one more book than it was a year ago. That being said, I reread a few short books this year, read everything on my secondary list that I got from the NTCE conference, and finally read The Count of Monte Cristo, the last book from my 50 Books To Read Before You Die bookmark and the longest book on my list. I can only consider this a fail to an extent.

*Watch all the important movies of 2021 and keep that movie list under control. Pass. This one endures as necessary and achievable. *Listen to 20 albums I already own. Pass. I did one better on this: I listened to every single album I had that I had never listened to. My music listening list is empty. I last made a real dent in it in 2020 but this year I was determined to just destroy it. *Play 10 new games. Pass. Speaking of destroying lists, I also completed my entire game list this year after having it become a monster from bundle buying in 2020. I spent basically all of August plowing through itchio games that I got until there was nothing left. It’s an incredibly freeing position to be in. *Run at least three times a week. Preferably four. Fail. I did some walking and actually lost a ton of weight over the summer but it’s slowly creeping back as it does every year and my strength is still nonexistent. *Go to at least two new places within pandemic restrictions. Pass. I went on a road trip around the Midwest and down to see my brother which included five new national parks and a bunch of major cities, my favorites being Charleston and Louisville. Then I took a spontaneous trip to Iceland that was amazing. *Make a new flower crown. Pass. It’s more of a laurel, which I ended up having the kids wear during Julius Caesar, but it’s something. I should have made something more daily usable but eh. *Finish writing something you’re proud of. Pass. I finished a play I had started winter break of 2021 and then also wrote a rather sad short story. Both were essentially therapy but I do think they turned out well. *Be better than last year. Fail. I was objectively worse than last year. I hit rock bottom. And yet, I managed to do a lot. 2023 RESOLUTIONS *Reduce “Want To Read” list down to 60. *Watch all the movies of 2022 that I care about. Watch/Rewatch all the movies on that list I made with Adam. *Get good at bass guitar. *Try game mastering a campaign. *Exercise at least three times a week. (Once the weather gets better. I live in an apartment now, and I can’t really run inside) *Go to at least two new places (This one is very likely already happening as I already have a trip planned for Spring Break to hit up four new and two old national parks and I’m writing a grant to go to Morocco but still) *Go back to doing something with your novel. *Be better than last year.

#resolutions #new years

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e-b-reads · 1 year

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bookworm asks: 1, 3, 4, 14, 23, 29, 30 🐛

(obviously feel free to only respond to a subset of these if i’ve picked too many, or if any of them don’t appeal to you!)

I am always happy to answer pretty much every item from an ask game! It's an excuse to talk about myself lol

what are you currently reading?

In between other, quicker fiction books, I'm slowly rereading Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point. (It's not actually a slow read, he's engaging, but it is when I only pick it up every other day or so.)

3. how have your reading tastes changed from when you were a child?

There's definitely been a shift in the default genres I reach for, from fantasy (I especially went through a high fantasy/swords-and-sorcery phase, even into the beginning of college) to mysteries. I still enjoy books for all kinds of genres, and still really like some of my childhood favorites, but if I'm looking for something totally new to me, it's less likely to be a chunky fantasy book, and more likely to be the first in a mystery series, cozy or not. Also and probably naturally, I'm less likely to reach for any YA because I'm now at an age where I identify more w/ adult protags than YA ones.

4. physical book or e-book?

If forced to choose, I will go w/ physical book every time, but I have nothing against e-books! I probably wouldn't purchase one, but I check them out of the library regularly.

14. what books have made you uncomfortable? why?

The most discomforting book I can think of right away is Richard Wright's Native Son, which I read for a high school class. It's supposed to be uncomfortable, and I'm glad I read it once, but I will never read it again.

23. genres you rarely read?

Well, I read a lot more fiction than nonfiction (except, lately, for academic articles). W/in fiction, I read most things, but I don't usually reach for horror, except occasionally in the case of books that also have something else to recommend them. W/in nonfiction...there's probably lots I don't read but can't think of. I don't seek out biographies or self-help books.

29. how do you organise your books?

Mostly alphabetical by author. Non-fiction gets its own separate shelf organized vaguely by topic; at this point, I own enough mysteries that they are also on a small shelf divided out from the rest of my fiction. And then I have a bookshelf in my bedroom, away from the rest, that's sort of my "favorites" shelf; functionally, this means it has all my Diana Wynne Jones books, and a few other selected ones, like Gaudy Night and Busman's Honeymoon (but not my other Sayers).

30. favourite book this year?

Impossible to choose one, but I have scrolled through my StoryGraph and see I read Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver earlier this year, and that is definitely a favorite. (It was a reread, so hopefully this counts.)

#an ask #an answer #the tipping point #malcolm gladwell #flight behavior #barbara kingsolver #and of course #diana wynne jones #my beloved

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hansolmates · 3 years

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distance learning (m)

banner done by the beautiful @eerieedits

summary; after their first hookup, jungkook isn’t so sure whether you’re serious about being exclusive. after all, people say things during sex. jungkook takes it in his own hands to figure out where you stand, and he realizes soon enough that eavesdropping is a bad habit pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, crack, insecure!jk, unresolved sexual tension, stressed!mc, this is really just unnecessary drama bc drama is fun™, sexting, dom kook’s still a meanie in control, posession kink, cock slapping, a blowjob, cockwarming, unprotected, creampie, squirting, (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) and of course the excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 6.1k a/n; haaaaaa three months later im finally posting pt 2! i figured that no matter how many times i edit/reread at this point i think it’s time to finally let this beast go!!! enjoyyy click here for part 1: remote learning drabbles; 01

if you enjoy this, please considering giving our pasta couple a like n’share💚

It’s been a week since the thing.

The remote-controlled vibrator thing.

The whole sappy-love-confesion-during-sex thing.

Jungkook is antsy, tail tucked in, perpetually wondering whether he went too far. You seemed to like it, and Jungkook definitely loved it. It was spicy and dirty and hot, and at the same time Jungkook thought he really made progress in expressing his feelings for you. Not only that, you said you liked him back!

At least, he thought you did.

“I really said I’d feed her lasagna and cum in the same sentence,” Jungkook bemoans into his pillow, which still lingers faintly of your Redken shampoo. “I’m disgusting. She thinks I’m disgusting.”

People say things during sex, Jungkook knows that. In the throes of passion and pleasure, people will say anything that comes to their mind, anything that fits the mood. Of course, you’d be tied in and say you like him back. But did you like him back as a friend? As a fuckbuddy? As something more?

“Fucking text her,” Taehyung is tired of Jungkook’s wallowing, everytime he checks in on the app developer he’s brooding in one of three places. Today’s his bedroom. Taehyung dips under the blankets, and steals Jungkook’s pillow right under his nose.

Jungkook suppresses a whimper, face melding into the blankets. Now that pillow is going to smell like Taehyung.

“Text her what,” Jungkook replies despondently.

“I don’t know, something along the lines of ‘I wanna follow through with my proposition of feeding you my cum and lasagna—not simultaneously. Wanna go on a date this weekend?’ It’s that simple,” Taehyung gets up in Jungkook’s face, dark eyes forcing him to bore right in. “Want me to do it for you?”

“Noo, I’m an adult I can—”

“I did it for you.”

Jungkook nearly knocks into Taehyung’s hard head, sitting up straight when he notices his phone behind his roommate’s back. This is what he gets for sharing passwords. Thankfully, the message is cleaner than Taehyung’s words, and you’ve already replied.

[1:23] Jungkook: would you like to go out for dinner this weekend? pasta and wine?

[1:25] You: it’s a busy week this week 🥺 raincheck?

“Was the sex that bad?” Taehyung frowns, reading the message twice.

“N-no,” Jungkook is sweating. He isn’t sure anymore.

Taehyung hands Jungkook back his phone, slowly, as if you’ll reply back with a change of your mind. Jungkook is a deflated balloon on his bed, feeling like a bum in his ratty sweater and a dateless weekend.

“It’s just that,” Taehyung puts a hand on his lip, mulling, “busy people don’t reply that fast. Like even if she wasn’t busy, there’s a fifteen-minute leeway before replying.”

This silly rule overrides Jungkook’s mind for the rest of the week.

The gyms have been reopened for months, and Jungkook’s trainer misses him dearly. Jungkook meets with Saeroyi in the morning, eager to get a few jabs in with some fresh equipment. He tries to move on, distract himself with a couple of pumps and a match with Saeroyi. It feels great to sweat it off, but it doesn’t help sway Jungkook’s incessant thoughts.

The ball is in your court now, Jungkook has nothing to do but wait. Some people are just bad texters, maybe you just happened to have your phone near you when Taehyung sent the message. Maybe you just wanted to cut Jungkook off as quickly as possible so you decided to reply fast and rip the band-aid.

No, you’re definitely not that cold-hearted.

Re-entering his apartment complex, his eyes linger towards where your room lies on the first floor. It’s all the way at the end of the hallway, and he’s tempted to just confront you and make sure that what you and him really had is indeed, over. Conversely, you could just really be having a bad week and you genuinely do want a raincheck.

Jungkook’s eyes trail to his form. Still in his gym clothes, and a little sweaty from the travel time. If he gets caught, he can just tell you he’s doing a cooldown by running across the hallways. Not the first time it’s happened, afterall it led him to you at one point.

He breaks into a soft jog, making a beeline to your front door. His feet squish against your old welcome mat. You haven’t changed it since Halloween, and he smiles fondly at the black scripted “Boo Y’all” written in script next to a chibi-ghost.

His heart beats faster as his hand lingers by the door, ready to knock. Deep breaths. Who knows, he could just be overthinking (like usual.)

“Fuck, Hobi!”

Jungkook freezes, his knuckles a centimeter away from your door. He backs up as if he’s been burned. His heart has fallen all the way down to his ass, and intends to stay there because now he feels like a damn fool.

The bed is creaking relentlessly, a rhythmic pattern that has Jungkook’s face crumbling at every spring. Jungkook’s face hovers over the door, his ear brushing against the wood.

“C’mon, bunny,” the male voice is teasing, “you know you love having me over. It would satisfy both of us if you’d just let it go.”

Bunny. A cute pet name, for sure. The way it rolls off the stranger’s tongue is natural, as if he’s been saying it for years. But what about being his doll, is that not good enough?

You’re huffy, taking deep breaths. He doesn’t want to hear anymore. Jungkook has put himself through enough self-wallowing for the week. What if he was just a stepping stone to meeting new people that will satisfy you better? What if you just needed one good orgasm to get your flow back, and Jungkook’s job is done? Sure, there were no strings attached when he proposed to have sex with you, but he thought…

No more thinking. Jungkook jogs away from the door, even going so far is to jog all the way up to the penthouse.

He hates this.

You hate this.

It’s been five days since Hoseok’s arrival, and you are going bonkers. Why couldn’t he get a hotel or an AirBnB? Because he’s cheap as fuck, that’s why. Your dinky cousin has been clinging to you like a lonely koala, and while you found it cute in the 5th grade, it doesn’t translate well nearly two decades later.

Every morning is the same. You make a subpar toast and Nutella breakfast, letting Hoseok’s slices go cold as you log in for work. You’ve been clocking in earlier in the hopes to finish the majority of your tasks before Hoseok wakes up, because by then you can barely function. Once he wakes up, he’s relentless, bouncing on the bed and talking your head off while you try to concentrate on whatever your boss is telling you. Whenever he jumps too hard, your cheap mattress causes your laptop to fly, and the only thing you can do is curse him out. Sometimes he plays Disney movies and sings in tandem, choreography and all.

You know that Hoseok is stressed and this is his outlet, and you don’t have it in you to stop his incessant habits. He’s visiting your area because of a lucrative job offer nearby and the interviews are sporadic, making Hoseok linger in your apartment for hours at a time until he’s summoned for whatever test they want to throw at him.

Most of the interviews are in the evening, and it’s when you can clock back in and finish your leftover assignments while Hoseok is also working. By the time he returns, you’re dog tired and so is he.

Every night, you try to move away from Hoseok’s clingy self, as he grapples onto your waist and slings a thigh over your belly. You wish it were someone else sharing the bed with you.

If you bring Jungkook into the picture however, you’d be burnt for the week. Complete crumbs. It would be too much stimulation for you, having to balance work, Hoseok’s incessant attitude, and putting on a face for Jungkook. Your relationship with the penthouse neighbor is barely budding, hardly watered considering Hoseok’s sudden visit. You cling to the fact that in a couple days you would be giving your undivided attention to Jungkook, most of your priorities out of the way, and most importantly, you’ll have your own room back.

Maybe you could surprise him by giving him a pasta dinner, just like he proposed.

Unable to get the thought out of your head, you blindly reach for your phone on the nightstand. It’s late, very late for a workday. The blue screen burns your eyes a bit, but you're determined to at least check up on Jungkook. You can’t take too long, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep and get him out of your head. Dear, unassuming cousin Hoseok is fast asleep next to you, due to the fact it’s nearly midnight. Making sure not to disrupt him, you carefully cup your phone in your hands, putting it on the lowest light setting.

[11:54] You: hey, hope work hasnt been as draining for u as it’s been for me ☠️ what’s your opinion on pasta sauces, red or white?

Jungkook is normally a fast texter, at least from your experience. It’s you that’s the sporadic texter, sometimes taking hours to reply, other times in seconds. It never really mattered until now, however. But it takes five, ten, and finally fifteen minutes before you get a response.

[12:09] Jungkook: ???

You frown, wondering what you said wrong.

[12:10] You: do you not wanna do pasta anymore? Are you craving something else now?

[12:10] Jungkook: i don’t think it’d work out

[12:10] You: why?

[12:11] Jungkook: im sure you know why, bunny.

Strange. He’s never called you bunny before, and in your opinion you think he’d be the bunny in the relationship—soft and cuddly on the outside, and an absolute horn ball in bed. Is this some sort of weird power play? Is he being passive aggressive on purpose? Whatever this game is, you’re not into it. Grumbling under your breath, you snake out of bed, looking blindly for your slippers in the dark. You’ll be in and out of Jungkook’s apartment in ten minutes.

Just as your hand brushes the doorknob, your new roommate calls for you.

“Bunny?” Hoseok calls blearily, and you’re staring straight at his cookie-printed eye mask, “what time is it, where are you going?”

“Um, out,” you reply shortly, “I forgot I left my laundry in the dryer.”

“Oh, m’kay. Come back soon, y’know I can’t sleep alone.”

It’s then you realize. Bunny. Jungkook thinks that Hoseok and you are a thing. He really needs to stop eavesdropping on you.

You feel your pussy frown. Your cousin is such a cockblock and he doesn’t even know it. Without an answer, you slip through your door and into the first free elevator. As you zing up the floors with the magical 1234 code, you work and rework your hair in and out of its style, wondering if you’ll look more presentable with your hair messy or thrown back.

As soon as you reach the penthouse, you burst into action. “Jungkook!” you cry, pounding the front door, “it’s a misunderstanding, open up!”

The door immediately swings open after the first three knocks, and you punch Taehyung in the chest.

“You look awful,” Kim Taehyung drawls. Taehyung is wearing nothing but a cranberry red silk kimono, and you have to avert your eyes and focus on his face, which is even worse because he’s looking at you like an all-knowing psychic.

“Gee, thanks,” you try to move past him, but he’s blocking the door.

“Jungkook’s in a meeting with some foriegn developers,” Taehyung talks with his hands, pretending like he has any idea of the nature of his roommate’s job, “when it’s this late he doesn’t leave his office until morning. Door’s locked.”

“Well then, can you relay a message?”

“Depends, is this message going to hurt him further?”

Oh my goodness, when Taehyung wants to be he is such an enabler. “Tell Jungkook he’s done wallowing. Instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe he should’ve just asked me why we couldn’t go on a date this week.”

“You could’ve also just told him you have a man on the side.”

“Ohmygod you two are two iotas of a combined braincell!” you shove your hands in your pocket, hotly scrolling through your phone so you can shove a picture in his face. “This is Jung Hoseok, my cousin who derailed my plans this week by crashing in my too-tiny apartment and forced me to raincheck with Jungkook. He’s a blabbermouth and would tell everyone—my parents, my grandparents, my great-aunts—about Jungkook if he found out I was dating, and I’m not ready for that,” you zoom in on the picture, despite the fact that the screen is practically touching Taehyung’s nose, “and the reason Hoseok calls me bunny is not sexual—you two are fucking gross—I had front tooth problems in elementary school and I had a brace on my two big teeth, it was not pretty.”

“Ah, bunny.” Taehyung echoes with wide eyes, looking at you as if you’re now the one with sage wisdom, “it all makes sense now.” He gulps, taking in the old photo of a mini-Hoseok and you, yourself frowning to cover your huge braces and Hoseok trying to pull your gums apart with his greasy little fingers.

Satisfied by Taehyung’s evident squirming, you decide you’re too tired to further this interaction. “Tell the other half of your cell for me, will ya?” You’re already turning away, pressing repeatedly at the elevator button, “I would love to go on a date with him as soon as he gets his head out of his ass.”

Jungkook is tired, but not tired enough to murder Taehyung and make it look like an accident.

When he has late meetings, Taehyung is usually quieter around the apartment, and even gets Jungkook a hot meal once he wakes up in the afternoons. Today, Jungkook slept through and through. Normally he’d wake up midway to Taehyung’s television dramas, or the clanging of last night’s dishes but nope, not a peep.

And today’s hot meal is takeout from Jungkook’s favorite ramen restaurant. That only means one thing—something has gone to shit and Taehyung feels guilty.

Jungkook sips his tonkotsu impossibly slow, hearing Taehyung’s words—your words from last night—clear as day. Taehyung even describes in detail where the nickname bunny comes from, down to how miserable you looked in the photo with your monstrously metal-bent teeth. Oh, how he wishes he can swaddle you between the blankets, hold you and comfort you while you deal with your family.

[2:45] Jungkook: doll, im so sorry

[2:45] Jungkook: please, i booked us a weekend at that new spa that just opened downtown. The tickets are flex, so if your cousin doesn’t leave by then week we can always reschedule

[2:51] Jungkook: baby doll…

This is far worse than believing you didn’t like him. Now Jungkook is antsy, knowing you deserve all the space in the world because of how silly he was being. You owe him nothing. If he just waited it out until you were ready, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He’s potato-esque throughout the day, thankfully Taehyung gives him space as he watches hours of mindless television.

You don’t reply until very late into the night.

[10:10] You: IM ALIVE--barely!! And mr. jeon, you’re not only a triple texter, but an ellipsis texter???? You’re asking for trouble

Jungkook has no shame, immediately texting you back. He can’t help it, he’s smitten.

[10:12] Jungkook: taehyung explained everything. It’s all his fault. Don’t ask why, it’s his fault. Im so sorry.

[10:12] You: mm, it’s okay. Just a misunderstanding. I was pretty upset last night, but i’ve been pretty tired this week so my fuse is short.

[10:14] Jungkook: you should go to sleep now, doll. We’ll have time together after your cousin leaves

[10:14] You: just a couple more minutes. Miss u and your cute face

[10:16] Jungkook:

[10:16] Jungkook: will this hold u off until saturday?

Jungkook is a pile of goo. Pink, warm, happy heart-glittered goo. It takes a minute for you to reply, and for that whole minute Jungkook is kicking his legs under the sheets of his bed like an eager five-year old who just gave his crush his Valentine. Maybe it’s taking you so long to reply because you’re trying to send a selfie of your own, running off to the bathroom to take a cute selfie if your cousin is asleep in bed.

[10:19] You: fuck, i kno that’s supposed to be a cute selfie, but i want you so bad. I want to sit on your face, let your lips glisten with my pussy as i cum all over that pretty face

[10:19] You: i wanna touch myself so badly but fuckin’ hoseok is out here snoring like he’s gon hack a lung. Panties are so wet 🥺🥺 your doll is needy for you, wanna be played with

[10:20] Jungkook: lfjsdl;fkjs;fjsoisfoisljsdfsdklfjsdklf

He throws his phone across the bed, feeling himself twitch in his red flannel pyjama bottoms. The thought of you so hot and needy when you’re ten floors down has Jungkook absolutely livid. He doesn’t know how he’s going to talk to you, comfort you without missing you like crazy.

Jungkook thinks back to what he has in his fridge. His contractor sent him a cheese assortment, maybe he can bring it down pretending to be a friendly neighbor. Maybe Hoseok can go to the convenience store to conveniently grab a bottle of wine. He can make both of you cum in five minutes, flat.

Akin to a dumb, horny teenager, he sighs. He rubs his palm longingly over his member. He’s horny, but he’s also eager to see your face. Talk to you, get reacquainted with your routine and sneak his way into it. He wants to be a part of your life, and he’s hoping you will too.

[5:02] You: Jungkook, you left me hanging last night

[5:05] Jungkook: baby doll… i wouldnt have been able to handle myself if we continued

[5:06] You: so you decided to dip :(

[5:06] You: could u play with your doll a lil bit, kook? Hobi left for another interview

[5:08] You: PNG.0901

Jungkook was a fool to believe that you would drop him like that. No, Jungkook can see now that you two are a match made in heaven. You have a bite, never afraid to speak your mind when needed. This translates to a hunger you shamelessly share with Jungkook, both sexual and romantically intimate. He almost wishes he could’ve seen you act like a bitch to Taehyung last night, he can only imagine how sexy you looked telling him off.

He has the technology to blow up your picture, the one that’s currently having him close his laptop and shove it to the side. He spreads his legs further across his glass desk, trying to find comfort between his tight pants as he absorbs every bit of your skin.

It’s nothing too risque, but it’s nothing short of sensual. The room is dark, but it’s very clearly a picture of your hand between your thighs. Again, you’re between your wall and bed, squished between your office chair with your legs spread as far as they can go. Your skin is so soft looking, plush as you press two fingers between your damp panties. Adorable.

[5:12] Jungkook: you know why i never replied last night? Because i was too busy jacking off to your dirty words doll. U really need your mouth washed

[5:12] You: wanna wash it with something else🍆

[5:12] You: please kook, i need something. Hoseok will come home soon and i might rip his head off. Help prevent a murder

Jungkook chuckles, clutching his phone closer to his body. He loves how much you’re opening up to him. Last week feels like so long ago, how you were all flushed and wide-eyed at the proposition of sex. He thinks you two can have a lot of fun getting to know each other, both emotionally and physically.

[5:15] Jungkook: i was gonna wait until i sent this, but i think my doll needs it. Here’s what i was doing last night

[5:17] Jungkook: MP4.13

He… has a meeting in five minutes. A very important, very serious meeting. Jungkook jacked off enough last night, now it’s your turn. He hopes you like it. It’s not a very long video, barely a twenty-second clip of him fisting his cock. Taehyung was still home at the time, so he had to keep quiet. However, he couldn’t get the image of you out of his head that night, rubbing your thighs together in a cramped mattress as you try to erase the dirty thoughts of him. A murmur of your name, and the image of his precum dripping down his knuckles. You hope it’s enough.

[5:34] You: u make everything so much easier💜✨

[5:35] You: MP4.234

Two minutes. The video you send is even shorter than his, barely fifteen seconds. You’re in a much more comfortable position, horizontal on the bed. Your shirt is ridden up to the underside of your breasts, one hand clutching your bare breast so hard he can see your cotton plush skin bulging between your fingers. The other hand has your panties shifted to the side, three fingers in your sopping cunt.

“Mmh—fuck, f-uck Jungkook—” the words are mere breaths, puffs of air as you reach your orgasm.

His call connects. He nearly drops his phone on the glass.

“Jungkook!” Andreas from Germany wishes him brightly, “you look great, glowing even!”

Jungkook blushes, and mutters something about having to go to the bathroom before they start.

Taehyung makes himself scarce on Saturday. He packs a duffel bag for himself and takes the PlayStation, knowing it’ll be a long weekend at Jimin’s.

Jungkook is on livewire for the morning. He even express-delivers a pasta roller to his house, and he spends all morning testing out the perfect pasta dough. His black apron is covered in flour, and he can barely comprehend the tutorial that’s teaching him on his flatscreen.

He’s on autopilot. He hasn’t contacted you since he sent that selfie, and he doesn’t intend to. Jungkook understands why you made yourself scarce in the beginning of the week, preferring to raincheck and pin your relationship for a better time. Jungkook’s brain is overridden with you, swollen with thoughts of you. You would never be able to focus if you kept in contact like you did last night, especially if you can’t get away from Hoseok.

Absence surely makes the heart grow fonder.

Slapping his hands against his trousers, he surveys his handiwork. His pasta is appropriately floured and wrung, each handful of fresh dough wrapped in little nests. Off the stove is a bechamel sauce, a base ready to be cooked in whatever kind of pasta dish you want. He thinks the two of you would have fun making your own non-traditional pasta dishes.

The soft knocks on his front door interrupts his train of thought, and he knows it’s you.

You stand in front of the door, impossibly small in a large shirt and a plain pair of leggings. At the sight of Jungkook, a smile as warm and sweet as hot chocolate worms its way to your face, and you collapse into his arms.

He sighs gratefully, sinking into your small body. When he pulls away, he can’t help but frown at your apparent exhaustion. You must’ve come back from something tedious, because sweat dots your brow and your eyes are still puffy and dark. Your chest arches bonelessly into his, hoping to melt in his embrace.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” he replies.

“It’s Saturday.”

“It is Saturday.”

You rub your nose between the fabric of his button down, “I should’ve been more specific when I wanted to raincheck on you,” you murmur into the white cotton.

“No, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” Jungkook whispers, even though you’re the only two people on the floor, “I’ll make it better, yeah? I’m going to love you so good tonight, won’t have to lift a finger—”

You shake your head, looking at him calmly. “Jungkook, it’s been a long week. Hobi got the job, I spent all this morning moving his two-ton speaker set into his new apartment. I don’t want anything gentle. I want you to rail me into next week,” Jungkook chokes on his saliva when you reach to cup his dick through his pants, already sporting a chub, “fuck me breathless. I want—no, I need this.”

Anything for you, but Jungkook isn’t going to let your mouth runneth over that easily. He wants that too, obviously. But again, you’ve made him wait.

Bending slightly, Jungkook whispers darkly into your ear, “Who said you can decide the rules here, doll?” he’s been waiting all week to slip back into this persona, one that has you shivering delightfully under his touch. A small, secret smile tucks itself under your lips as you tilt your head down, but Jungkook catches it. It shows you’ve missed it too. He lets your sneaky smile slide for now, only because he’s missed you so much and you’ve had a long day.

“If I wanna fuck you rough, I’ll fuck you rough. If I want to edge you until you're sobbing on the corner of the kitchen table, I’ll do it,” Jungkook spits every declaration into your skin, biting at your shoulder so hard you cry deliciously.

He drags you over to the living room, and he could sing at how easily you follow directions. Both of you have been tied up this week, and some hard sex would definitely ease that frustration, “Knees,” Jungkook commands, and you waste no time sinking to the floor, hands atop your knees.

You look up through your lashes, eyes big and glassy. His poor girl is tired, and he finds it all the more attractive that you’re willing to push that aside to make eachother feel good.

“Pretty, pretty,” he chants, pulling down his pants and letting his dick spring free, “suck.”

You waste no time, and he watches as your eyes dilate over the expanse of his cock, half-hard and ready for your mouth. Your nails dig into your knees as you start with featherlight kisses, finally turning into sloppy smacks as you lick all over his dick.

Jungkook groans, weaving a hand into your hair to force his dick down your throat. You gag at the sudden intrusion, but it doesn’t stop you from taking it like a champ. Hard, deep thrusts that he’s sure you can feel all the way in your stomach. You gag at each thrust, but don’t let up as your hot tongue wraps him up and licks at the pre-cum.

“Fuuuuck, doll,” he rips you away, his now hard dick springing away. He’s a little shaky on his knees, but he plants his feet down as he grips his cock, slapping the tip of it across your cheek. It smears your face, glossing your flushed cheeks in a mixture of your saliva and pre-cum. “Are you trying to make me cum first? So sweet, you don’t even care if you cum tonight, hmm? You owe me, making you believe you had another man.”

This isn’t true, of course. The both of you know it was just miscommunication, but it doesn’t hurt to play it up for pleasure.

“N-no Kook, I’m yours,” you grapple at his pants, pulling them down so he can get them off completely.

“Right. You’re. Mine.” With every punctuated word is a light slap to your cheek, and you take it. His cock bounces right off of you, until you finally move your head to suckle at the engorged tip, “I’m keeping you forever, doll. Don’t you know that?”

Throughout this whole process, you don’t move, other than the minute clawing at your knees. You’re so good to him. Jungkook pulls away and ignores the ache in his member for now, taking off your clothes for himself. It’s like unwrapping a gift, revealing every bit of skin reserved for his viewing. “So sexy,” he remarks once he’s got you bare, pulling you onto the couch. He’s still in his button down shirt, his date night shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. However, he lets your hands inch under the stiff fabric, feeling for his taut muscle.

He guides your aching cunt to his cock, sinking you down. It’s a tight fit, and you both moan at the brush of contact. Despite not being prepped, you’re still slick, and it makes up for it. He doesn’t thrust up or anything, just guides his lips to yours with a threadbare brush of his finger.

“Kook, d-do you want me to move?” you mumble against his cherry-flavored lip balm.

“Good dolls don’t move until they’re told,” your eyes widen innocently at the statement, and you crumple against his mouth, at his next words, “cum like this.”

“Awh shit, please no,” you tear up, burying your head between the crook of his neck, “I can’t wait.”

“Thought you wanted me to fuck you into next week. You can’t do this one little favor for me?” he’s being so mean, and you hate him for it. Haven’t you earned it? “C’mon baby, I thought you wanted me?”

It’s silent, save for the soft Italian restaurant music playing from whatever tutorial he’s hooked up to his television. It’s terribly cliche, like you’re in the porno version of a European romance movie. He thinks nothing of it, not when your juices are dripping on his thighs, your skin soft and pliant in his grip. Jungkook drums his fingers against your spine, seemingly uncaring that you’re stuffed deep into your womb.

On the other hand, it’s the only thing you’re acutely aware of. His thick, warm cock is nestled between your folds, right where it should be. You clench once, twice, thankful that this isn’t some crazed wet dream. States of sleep and consciousness have blurred this week, you’re lucky that you made it all the way up to Jungkook’s apartment.

You can’t cum like this. You need to bait him. You moan, the sound slow and rumbly against your throat as you weave your fingers through his dark tresses. Moving the strands aside to kiss his cold metal earrings you murmur, “I love this, Kookoo. I’ve wanted you all week, I was going crazy. I kept playing last week in my head over and over. I even put in my little vibrator, hoping you’d pull up the app.”

Jungkook’s teeth clench, and his grip is borderline painful as it digs into your hips.

“I haven’t been able to cum all week, and I want to do it all over you,” you husk, playing with the roots of his hair.

You can feel yourself dripping, wetness lubricating you even further and probably staining his thighs and couch with your arousal. Every second that passes is killer, and the fluttering towards your pussy tighten further as Jungkook’s cock twitches in response. Your pussy continues its ministrations, butterfly-like flaps against his hot member that have you vibrating.

“Mm, oh, I’ll cum for you,” and surprisingly, you might be able to. All this dirty talking has gotten you riled up. Just a little bit more and—

Jungkook shoves you off his cock, forcing you to land on the couch.

“No!” you cry, wiping your face. Your cheeks are ruddied, and you’re annoyed. The coolness of the autumn air has you feeling chilly, and you want to scream at Jungkook for disrupting your orgasm. You feel empty.

You’re not annoyed for long however, as Jungkook flips you on your back and gives you what you’ve been craving.

“You glide right in, don’t ya doll,” the friction is deliciously blazing, his hands pushing you further into the large couch as he takes you from behind. Hot, fast smacks against your ass come from the way his balls bounce back and forth as he pistons his cock in and out. “F-fuck, you’re so good to me. So good, I love having you like this. All pretty and dripping, you really know how to make a guy wait, huh?”

“Mmph! N-no—hng, but I’m y-yours, Kook,” you garble out, and you’re practically eating the throw pillow you’re propped up on as he slams you further into the cushions, so hard you may fall off, “all yours, honey. N-no more waiting. I want you, want you so badly—ah fuck!”

“It’s worth it, you’re worth it,” he says over and over, his thrusts becoming sporadic and losing their rhythm once he feels you clenching uncontrollably. He presses his two fingers to your sloppy bud, swirling around the juices eagerly. “C-cum, baby doll. You deserve it, yeah? Cum on this cock, let go.”

You’re starting to see spots, black and white alike. Finally shying away from his cock you rest on your back, but Jungkook doesn’t stop his fingers from flying across your clit. One look at his face and you’re gone. Pretty brown eyes, overflowing with affection. The feeling is different, and it’s the acute pressure between your stomach and pussy that makes you notice what’s going on with your body. The pressure finally releases, your eyes fluttering shut as you rest your cheek on the cushions. You dissolve, a mess on the couch as white hot liquid ejects from your body, spraying Jungkook’s thighs and cushions.

“Y-you just,” your lover’s mouth is parted open like a baby kitten, uncaring as to how the dark liquid stains his couch fabric.

“Squirted?” you answer breathlessly, a melty smile on your lips, “y-yeah.”

It sets him off, a button left dormant until now. The thatches of hair that surround his cock are dripping with your mess, a cold reminder that he got you to this high. He doesn’t hesitate to slip his cock back into you, and you gasp at the overstimulation. You try not to focus on how your body is a bundle of lit nerves, only to help Jungkook reach his completion.

“S-so perfect,” he warbles, pressing kisses to your jaw, chin, lips. Each thrust is deep, thick and heady with emotion. “Mm, I wanna cream this pussy sooo badly—mm, all mine, all wet and warm and so so sweet—”

He cries out your name, biting into your shoulder as your walls fill further with his hot cream. Your thighs are shaking from sensory overload, and Jungkook has to hold you down and soothe you into a state of reality to cling on.

Satiated, he nuzzles into your chest, feeling absolutely featherlight.

“T-thank you,” you say gratefully, when at least three out of your five senses return to your body. Your hands dip down to clutch his cheek, pinching lightly at the warm skin.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jungkook exhales into your breasts, “d-didn’t even feed you my cum yet.”

You scoff, pinching his cheek again. You’re aware of his softening cock between your folds, ready to seep the efforts of today’s coupling, but your stomach says otherwise. You crane your neck to make note of the kitchen island, staring curiously at the metal pasta roller and the little nests of carby goodness that decorate the cutting board.

“Feed me pasta first, please. You have all night to feed me dessert.”

Jungkook giggles into your stomach, he doesn’t mind feeding you in that order.

bonus.

“So.”

“So?” you have cream sauce on your lips, happily slurping on an angel hair.

“You haven’t told me you liked me back yet,” Jungkook rests his palm in the swell of his cheek, content with watching you eat from where he’s standing on the counter. He leans his upper body across the marble table, muscles rippling against his white shirt.

“Oh, I did!” you’re affronted, swinging your legs on the high chair, “I totally did last week!”

“Yeah, well. Can you say it while I’m not inside you?”

“Okay,” you blink, quirking him with a simple smile, “I like you.”

“That was anticlimactic,” Jungkook jokes at the brevity of your confession, yet his heart betrays the charm he finds in the three words.

You scoff, jabbing your fork in the little next of springy noodles. “What do you want to hear? I’ve wanted you since I’ve moved in? I think you’re really handsome when you pace the hallway doing work on your phone? I like the way you cook?”

“Keep going,” Jungkook sing songs, walking over to hug you from behind.

The stool swings back and forth as he rocks the two of you, softly and slowly so you don’t throw up your dinner. He noses into your neck, inhaling your scent and committing it to your memory.

“Mm, dessert first,” you insist, twirling around the stool so you can wrap your legs around his waist. “And then I can tell you exactly how much I like you,” your fingers play with the buttons of his shirt, walking the pads of your fingers across his chest.

Jungkook grins, hands reaching to cup your bottom and bring you to his bedroom. Of course, he’s always willing to satisfy your insatiable appetite.

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #btsguild #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #kwritersworldnet #jungkook fic #bts smut #bts fic

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quindolyn · 3 years

Text

General Relationship Headcanons || Sirius Black

”Request: hi, love! i adore your new remus headcanon and i was wondering if you could write a general relationship headcanon with sirius black? if not, that’s completely fine. have a good day!

Notes: Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m sorry this took me a little longer than I anticipated but I also went really over the top, it’s twice the length of my Remus Headcanon I just got really into it. I was once again inspired to write Dad!Marauders so maybe I’ll get around to that. I wanted to thank you all for such positive feedback on my Remus Headcanon. I hope you enjoy this. Also thank you anon, I love you.

Warnings: fluff, smut, a bit of angst, canon can go fuck itself, Sirius Black deserves to be happy, not proof read because I wrote most of this in one sitting and didn’t have the heart to go back and reread. The ending is a little choppy

Masterlist

Sirius Black was never shown enough love as a child

Even at age 11 you were able to pick that up, when you were dragged into a train car with four other first years. James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black

He seemed nervous, he kept on looking out the window of the train car and fiddling with his fingers

James tries desperately to get everyone to talk, he feels likes he’s responsible for forging your guy’s friendship

Remus, Peter, he, and you hit it off immediately and you see Sirius smile at some of your jokes out of the corner of your eye but he’s nearly trembling

When you guys start talking about what houses you want to be sorted into he turns green

And when James says how he doesn’t want to be sorted into Slytherin he looks like he’s about to vomit

“Are you alright?” You ask him, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder

He seems uncomfortable with the contact so you move your hand away

“I’m just a little nervous” He admits that he comes from a long line of Slytherins, you offer to hex James for saying that for him, but he lets out a quick laugh and tells you it's fine

He’s actually really worried that he’s going to be sorted into Slytherin whilst simultaneously being terrified about what would happen if he gets sorted into another house.

Ravenclaw could be one thing

Hufflepuff another

But Gryffindor, that just couldn’t happen

You don’t touch him this time because you saw how he reacted last time but you reassure him that it will all be fine and no matter which house he gets sorted into you’ll still be his friend, no matter what

That earns you a real smile

A smile that takes your breath away

And even though you’re too young to understand what you’re feeling that’s when you start to fall for him.

You hold your breath while he gets sorted

Like him you feel very conflicted, you’re glad he’s not in Slytherin because of what he shared with you about his family

But at the same time you’re afraid for him

You might’ve only known him for a couple of hours but you have an inexplicable attraction to him and the idea of him being so scared breaks your heart

If you’re a Gryffindor he sits next to you and the others but doesn’t really say much because he’s too busy trying to figure out what he’s going to do

If you’re in a different house then you send him a smile across the Great Hall and go to find him after the feast

“How are you doing Sirius?”

He brushes you off, tells you he’s fine but you can tell he’s not, you let it go though and decide to give him his space, telling him that if he ever needs to talk you’ll listen

The next day in the Great Hall he receives a Howler from his mother, telling him how much of a useless disappointment he is. He plays it cool like it doesn’t really bother him but you can tell that he’s hurt and it makes you unbelievably sad

Your first lesson that day is together and though you sit with one of your dorm mates and he sits with James, you watch him the entire time, you just can’t seem to pry your eyes off of him.

As the year goes on and he starts to come to terms with what his life is going to be like now, he starts to come more and more out of his shell

Answering questions in class, laughing boisterously with his friends during meals, hexing people in the corridors, pranking Slytherins for shits and giggles

But it’s almost as though he’s forgotten about you, he smiles at you when he sees you in the halls or in classes but he doesn’t actively seek you out like you wished he would.

And you’re too scared to because you told him that you would always be there if needed someone to talk to but he hasn’t come to you yet

So that obviously means that he doesn’t want to talk to you

And that’s fine

You’re not going to force a friendship

You still study with Remus in the library

And talk with James about his day when you bump into him

And help Peter if he’s having trouble in a class

But you and Sirius don’t seem to click the same as you do with the rest of them

This continues through your second year until about 5 weeks into your third year.

At this point he’s starting to physically mature a bit, not a lot, that doesn’t come for a few more years, but his shoulders get a little broader, he gets a little taller, his legs start growing hair.

Girls start paying him attention, and more attention than the harmless crushes from previous years

His blossoming looks paired with his wit and sarcasm have every single person in his grade and younger turning their head to take a second look

Sirius being the humble soul he is-

No I’m just fucking with you

Being the little shit that he is, all of this just goes to his head

And he becomes even more insufferable than he was

But you’ve never found him insufferable, not really

You just told yourself that because it was easier than confronting your feelings for him

One day he, James, Remus, and Peter pull a prank that ends up with you covered in quill ink while on your way to Herbology

You weren’t their intended target

You still spoke quite a bit with three of them

It really was just a prank gone awry

But it still sucked

You stalked back to your dorm abandoning your friends in the hallway, not making eye contact with any one as you passed by

Sirius noticed this

He couldn’t stop himself from watching as you jogged down the hallway

Head down

Trying to evade people’s gazes

He’d barely talked with you in 2 years but he was hit by a tremendous feeling of guilt

He hadn’t meant to upset you, he really hadn’t

So he told the others that he wouldn’t be attending History of Magic that day (what else is new?)

And instead took off for you down the hallway

Never mind your house, when you come back down into the common room after taking a shower there’s Sirius Black, lounging on a sofa like he owns the damned place, looking around the room, taking in every little detail if it's not his common room. If it is the Gryffindor common room then he’s staring up at the girl’s staircase, waiting for you to come down.

When you see him you blush

“Si-Sirius, what are you doing here?”

Immediately you become more aware of your appearance, fixing your hair and straightening out your skirt.

“I just wanted to apologize (Y/N) we didn’t mean for that prank to backfire onto you, we’d never do that to you, it was meant for Snivileus-”

“Severus”

“Yeah sure, whatever. What’s important is that you know that I didn’t mean for that to hurt you, I’m sure the other boys will apologize too I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry”

Does Sirius Black look… nervous?

“It’s fine Black, really I was just having a bad day.”

He doesn’t know why but your usage of his last name is like a knife to the chest, why wasn’t he just Sirius?

Then he remembered, because he’d barely spoken to you in the past 2 years

“I’d like to make it up to you though.”

You turn him down, telling him that that’s not necessary, you’re fine

But he’s not having it, so the next day when you sit down for breakfast you find yourself surrounded by not only Sirius but all of them

They’re acting like this is completely normal but you’re lost

What the hell are they doing?

“Making it up to you of course”

Suddenly they’re everywhere, he’s everywhere

The others were already friendly with you so its not as much of a difference

But all of a sudden Sirius Black is everywhere

Eating meals with you until you relent and come sit with him and the other Marauders at their spot at the Gryffindor table

Suddenly he’s hefting the bag off your shoulder and slinging it around his

The year seems to fly by with him at your side

Sneaking you guys food from the kitchens

They show you the invisibility cloak

Pitching the idea of the Marauders map

And all of a sudden it’s the end of your 3rd year and the care free, witty Sirius you’ve come to know over the past year had morphed into someone far more reminiscent of that scared little boy you first met on the Hogwarts Express

The night before the last day of the term you find yourself alone with Sirius in the Gryffindor common room

You ask him if he’s alright, the past few days he hasn’t been acting like himself

He doesn’t have the energy to try and lie to you anymore, he lets it all out, he tells you about all the backlash since he was sorted

He tells you about Regulus

And how they don’t even talk anymore, “I can’t talk to him (Y/N), I want to but if our mother knows that he associates with me then he’ll be punished, and punishments in the Black house aren’t getting grounded they’re, unforgivable”

You gasp at the implication and reach out to touch his shoulder, but then you’re thrown back to the train and remember how uncomfortable it seemed to make him

But it’s too late, by the time you realize your hand is already on his shoulder

You start to apologize and pull it back but his hand wraps around your wrist which brings your eyes to his

They’re brimming with tears

“Don’t leave”

You pull him into your arms, raking your fingers through his hair, whispering sweet nothings into his ear

Explaining that you just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable

He tells you it's fine, he likes it when you touch him

You two sit there in silence until you think Sirius had calmed down

You tell him you’ll write to him every day

He tells you that you don’t have to do that

You still insist that you will

You two sit there for Godric knows how long but eventually you yawn and that alerts Sirius to how late it's gotten

Tells you he’s sorry that he’s kept you up so late

You tell him it’s fine, it was worth it to make sure he was okay

He blushes but its too dark for you to be able to tell

He walks you to the staircase even though it’s literally 5 feet away

“Good night Sirius”

“Good night (Y/N)”

The next day on the train back to King’s Cross you purposefully sit next to Sirius so you can keep a hand on his arm the entire time

It’s so subtle but doesn’t go unnoticed by the other Marauders

Though they decide not to mention it, he’s having a hard enough day as it is

You hate watching him trudge over to his parents when you arrive at the station, you and James exchange an understanding look.

You both care about him so much, watching him be this wretched physically hurts you

As soon as you get home you sit down and write him a letter

He told you that he probably wouldn’t be able to respond to most of your letter

And that’s fine, but every now and then you get one back

And your heart soars

You count down the days until September 1st, when you finally get to see him again

When you’ll know for certain that he’s okay

You nearly have a heart attack when you can’t find him on platform 9 ¾, but he was just already on the train with Remus and Peter, waiting for you and James to show up

As soon as you can you ask him how he is

He’s doing better than he usually is after an entire summer with Walburga and company

He thanks you profusely for the letters

You tell him not to sweat it

You’re just glad you could help

Once you know he’s okay you allow yourself to relax a little and that’s when you notice that he’s grown up quite a bit since June

His shoulders continue to broaden, his hair is longer, but he looks thin, too thin

And you want to hug him again, but you stop yourself

The sexual tension between the two of you 4th year is unbearable

And borderline uncomfortable

Poor Peter doesn’t know what to do with himself

You write to him again every single day over the winter holidays when he’s forced home to his wretched blood family

When you’re both back at Hogwarts things are even weirder than they were before

Sirius clams up every time you get near him and goes vermillion in the face

You’re sitting in the library the second Monday of the term when he approaches you

“What do you want, Sirius?” You ask without lifting your head

“You sound frustrated.”

“I am Sirius! You’ve been acting weird for a week and I’m sick of it. What do you want?”

He just sort of stands there looking at you, because he didn’t expect you to yell at him.

He’s not sure if he’s ever heard you raise your voice in his entire life.

“I should leave”

“Just tell me what it is Sirius!”

Everyone is looking at you

“This was a bad idea!”

“What is it!”

“I like you!”

This wasn’t how he imagined telling you how he felt about you

Yelling it in the library

Which a bunch of 2nd years gawking

“You what?”

He suggests you guys leave the library for somewhere more private

You agree, and he takes you down to a tree by the Black Lake

When he first told you he liked you in the library you couldn’t believe it, this boy, whom you’ve harbored a crush for for literal years, likes you too

And this isn’t just any boy, this is Sirius Black

And that’s when you remember, shit, this is Sirius Black

“This isn’t a prank or something is it?”

He starts denying it before you can even finish your sentence, it stings a little that you would think that but he understands why.

When you tell him that you return his feelings his his face breaks out into a smile and he lifts you into his arms and spins you around

“Really?”

“Yes really, now put me down please”

He sets you down but he pulls you so close to his body you can almost feel his pulse thrumming through his body

He asks to kiss you and you let him

From that day forward Sirius always has an arm around your shoulders or around your waist

He likes to pull you into his side so he can whisper things into your ear

He likes it when you perch yourself a top his thigh when he sits down

He also likes you sitting in between his legs

And he likes to sit in between yours too so he can smooth his hands up and down your calves

As you get more comfortable with touching each other, he’ll like to slink down so that his head is right in between your thighs so he can just turn his head and kiss them

Having his hands on you reminds him that you’re there, and if you’re there with him then everything is going to be fine

He’s going to get through that History of Magic Lesson

He’s going to finish that Potions essay

One day James might finally stop talking about Evans

He’s not going to bite Snape’s head off

Everything is going to be just fine

He takes you on dates to the Black Lake, you guys like to sit on the dock and dip your toes in the water, especially when it's warm and sunny out

Sirius will slip off his shirt so he can tan a bit and you’ll set your head on his chest, with your toes brushing up against the water

By the time the two of you finally got together you’d already spent multiple nights in the Marauders dorm room

But you usually slept with Remus in his bed because his was the cleanest

But now that your Sirius’ he sleeps with your head tucked under his chin, your body pulled flush against his chest, his arms have an iron grip on you, you couldn’t get out of bed even if you wanted to.

Waking up with him when he’s had a nightmare and the two of you lie there, chests pressed together, fingers tangled with each other’s, whispering about whatever you can think of

When he can’t sleep he’ll lay his head on your chest and listen to the beating of your heart to calm him down

He loves to do this with your shirt off, not in a sexual way he’s just like a baby and skin to skin contact is good for him

It centers him

He really likes sneaking into the astronomy tower with you at night to look at the stars

You murmur into each other’s ears about everything ranging from the your purpose in the cosmos to the color you should paint your nails next, he always votes red and gold, no matter your house

Painting your nails the colors of your house in spite of him if you’re not in Gryffindor

He volunteers to paint your nails once and does them in red and gold

One year for his birthday you give him a bunch of old muggle magazines your parent/guardian sent you when you wrote requesting them

The two of you lay on your stomachs, elbows bent, legs tangling with each other in the air as you skim through them

You point out the different muggle contraptions and what they do and how to use them

When you get to a mechanic magazine you have to explain to an overly excited Sirius what a motorcycle is

He becomes absolutely enamored with them and begs you for more magazines and reading materials on them

For Christmas that year you get him a miniature motorcycle that you charm to fly around his dorm room.

If you’re on your house’s Quidditch team that idiot is there every single one of your games, decked head to toe in your house colors

He also frequents your practices bringing you water and food for when you’re done

Sirius can get pretty jealous

He’s always been insecure in himself so seeing other people get to friendly with you just hits all of his buttons

He never takes it out on you, because he knows how it feels to be the object of misplaced anger

Instead Sirius will come up behind you when you’re talking to them and loop him arms around your waist, pulling you close to him

Or if you’re sitting down he’ll put his hand on your thigh

He doesn’t go overboard, it's not like if you’re talking to someone he’s going to challenge them to a duel

He just needs everyone to know that you’re his

And he doesn’t share

Letting you do his makeup once after you begged him and now he’s the one who’ll beg you

“Please Princess”

He looks so hot in eyeliner

Like no one has the right to be that good looking

And the mother fucker knows he looks good

You and James plan extravagant gifts and parties for his birthday every year because no one on this planet loves Sirius Black more than the two of you and you’re dedicated to making up for so many lost years

You and Remus bake him a cake every year and he loves blowing out all of the candles, he insists their quantity matches his age, none of that cop out bull shit where its just candles in the shape of numbers

He wants to blow out all of them

Your first birthday together Sirius has no clue what to get you, because it’s not like previous years, you’re together now so this gift has to be special, it has to be perfect

He consults everyone he can think of

Lily

James

Remus

Your dorm mates

Hell, he even writes to your family asking what he should get you

In the end they all only make it worse because he has all of these wonderful ideas and can’t choose because what if he chooses wrong and you would have preferred something else instead

So he gets you everything he can think of

You told him 3 weeks ago how you wanted to try a new quill, he’s bought you 7 different types to try out

He can’t decide whether you’d be prettier in rubies, emeralds, or diamonds so he buys you each

You wish you could say that it lets up as years pass

And it does

But only slightly

When his parents kick him out of the house James floos you instantly, tells you its Sirius and that he’s going to be fine, but he needs you

When you get to the Potter’s he’s bloody and bruised and looks like Hell

You have to stop yourself from sobbing at the sight of him

No one gets to hurt Sirius that way

Absolutely no one

When he sees you he starts crying and opens his arms for you to come to him

You help bandage him up and wipe away the dried blood

Once he’s clean and in new clothes you take his face in your hands and press your foreheads together

“I love you Siri, I love you to the moon and back.”

That’s the first time either of you have said “I love you” to the other

He starts sobbing

You pull him into your arms with his head on your chest and you pet him hair, telling him how much you love him and that he’s safe, you’re never going to let anyone touch him ever again

James comes into his room that night, neither of you are asleep, Sirius is still crying only now silently and less violently into your top

Wordlessly James slips into Sirius’ bed on the other side of him and both of you hold him all night long, telling him that he’s safe and that he’s loved, and that he never has to see his mother ever again

That he has a family right there and neither of you will ever make him feel like this

You spend the rest of the summer at the Potter’s

You and James were already good friends but you spend the rest of the holidays bonding over your love and protectiveness of Sirius

Sometimes he jokes that his girlfriend is trying to steal his best friend, but he really doesn’t mind

He loves it actually

The love and protectiveness you feel for Sirius goes both ways

He will not hesitate to kick someone’s ass for you

He often forgets that he’s a wizard at these moments and throws a punch instead of a hex

Cleaning him up after he gets into a fight and scolding him for not thinking, a professor could’ve seen him, he could still get in trouble

When you graduate Hogwarts together the Potter’s come for both him and James

He cries when they congratulate him and tell him that they’re proud of him

Your family also tells him how proud they are of him and he hugs every single person there

You guys move in together, you live a 5 minute walk from James and Lily

He doesn’t wait 2 months before he’s proposing to you

You accept of course

Engagement sex

The man was virile when you were still at Hogwarts but when you first move in together he insists you christen every single room in the house

He loves to make you scream out his name as he overstimulates you

He’s not as hard of a dom as Remus but he’s meaner, he doesn’t just mock you

He degrades you (as long as you’re comfortable with it)

He calls you every dirty name in the book

He loves to put you in barely there lingerie and make you touch yourself as he watches

Will mock you while you do it

“What puppy, your fingers aren’t making you feel good enough? Course they’re not, you’re a desperate little thing aren’t you? Need my cock in order to stretch you, make you feel good. Look at how small your fingers are, how are they supposed to do anything?”

He loves to punish you

To the point where he’ll set expectations that are impossible for you to meet so he can punish you for them

You’re both very open with what you do and do not like and try experimenting a lot

He is so kinky

Loves to edge you and watch you squirm in his grasp

Won’t let you cum until you’ve begged long enough

He loves ruining your orgasms, especially as punishment after you’ve broken one of his rules, but sometimes he does it just to be mean

He has very talented fingers and can make you cum in a matter of minutes if he wants to

Loves eating out, your little whimpers and whines make him want to just destroy you

Enjoys watching your cunt clench around nothing

Will laugh at this and smack your clit

Gets you a collar that says “puppy” or “slut” on it

He’ll tug on it with his finger to get you to look at him

Back to the engagement sex, as soon as you say yes he is on you

You jerk him off onto your tits so he can see the ring on your finger while your hand is wrapped around his dick

Breeding kink breeding kink breeding kink

Especially when Harry is born

The minute he sees you holding little baby Harry in your arms he feels the overwhelming urge to take you there

When you get home that night he tells you how gorgeous you looked with Harry and how much he wants to have a little “pup” of his own

“Gonna fill my puppy with my pups”

Makes you lay with your ass in the air once he’s cum inside you to make sure none of it gets wasted

Will plug you full

“How’s that feel puppy? Good?”

He’s always been able to get you to subspace but now its like he barely has to try, loves calling you his good girl and telling you how well you did for him

You guys don’t get pregnant immediately, which Sirius does not take well

In his mind there’s absolutely no way that you’re the problem

It must be him

He sees his inability to impregnate you as his first failure as a father

Gets really sad

You tell him how much you love him and that this isn't him failing, it could very well be you who is making it difficult to conceive

You have very soft, passionate sex that night as you ride him

He runs his hands up and down your body as you tell him how good he’s making you feel

Maybe it was that night, perhaps it was a different one but a month and a half later the Healer at St. Mungos tells you you’re pregnant

He’s ecstatic

Sirius literally can’t stop smiling

Not that he wants to

But his face almost hurts from how much he’s grinning

Sirius is the best person to have with your when you’re pregnant

He’s always making sure you’re comfortable and that you have everything you need

He’ll try out all your weird pregnancy cravings with you

Especially if you’re feeling a little shy about asking for weird combinations

He loves kissing your belly

He’ll sing French lullabies to it as he moves his hands in circles on your skin

Man never slows down as you progress through your pregnancy, watching you swell just makes him fuck you harder

At first the prospect of decorating a whole room for an infant seems mundane to him

But as soon as you and Lily are pulling out the paint swatches and wallpaper samples he gets so excited and loves helping out

He has to have James and Remus come over to help him put together the crib, he just can’t do it

When he learns he gets to buy clothes for his kid he’s so excited

He and James spend hours going through baby clothes and like with everything Sirius has a very strong opinion about this too

“No Prongs, I’m not putting my child in that, I actually like them”

When the Healer tells you you’re having twins he loses his mind

He’s so excited

Twice the clothes to buy

Twice the toys

Twice the cribs and diapers

He’s thrilled

When the baby comes he doesn’t let himself freak out because this isn’t about him

It’s about you and your baby

He holds your hand the entire time and lets you squeeze however hard you’d like to

Kisses your knuckles and tells you how good of a job you’re doing

You’re in labor for 15 hours

And it nearly kills him

Seeing you in so much pain makes him physically unwell

He wishes he could take away all of your pain for you

But he can’t, so he does what he can

Feeding you ice chips

Massaging your back

He read somewhere that orgasming can help speed along labor

So he does what he does best and makes you cum a few times on his fingers

It's possible that that’s what actually worked

It could’ve also been something entirely different, but he will claim it was making you cum, that finally worked

Your son is born first, and as much as Sirius would’ve been happy with whatever sex, his heart swells with pride to know that he just produced the first half-blood heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black

Next is your little girl

He cries when he sees her

She’s so beautiful, and looks just like you

The two of you sit there kissing and doting on your children for hours until you eventually pass out because you just pushed two humans out of your body

Fast forwarding a bit, the first time his daughter, who has him wrapped around her finger, calls him “Dada” his heart swells and he looks over at you but you’re already staring at him, tears in your eyes you whisper to him

“You’re doing a good job”

tagging: @randomoutsiders

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