#i just wanna put my faith and trust in someone and not be wrong about it

[cainluvr69]

Surely, We Can Make Miracles Chapter 17

Previous Chapter

Borda Island Resident: Open the castle gate!

Borda Island Resident: Bring out the new lord…!

Borda Castle Guard: Stand down! If you break the castle gate, you'll be arrested for treason!

Borda Island Resident: Treason?! Just for asking her to help us?!

Mitile: … Everyone's in an uproar outside the castle… And when Leno's in so much trouble, too…

Riquet: I'm worried about Shylock, too. And about Lord Snow in his painting… …And Lord White, too…

Mitile: Where is Lord White…? Maybe we just can't see him, and he's right next to us… No, he should be at Lord Snow's side, right?

Riquet: Oz said he couldn't feel his presence anywhere…

Mitile: Oh no…

Mitile & Riquet: …

Nero: It's gonna be fine.

Riquet: Nero…

Nero: None of 'em are that fragile. Once Snow's all healed up, White's gonna show up again, too. That's why Arthur and Rutile are out searchin' for medicine for him. Just believe in 'em and be patient.

Riquet: …Okay.

Mitile: …Alright. Nero, is there anything that the two of us can do? We were told to wait here in the castle because it'll be dangerous in the ocean, but I really did want to go with them, too.

Riquet: Me, too. So if there's anything we can do for our allies…

Nero: … I wanna tell you kiddos you don't need to worry about that kinda thing, but this whole island really is in a tizzy right now… I ain't gonna pretend things aren't real touch 'n go right now. Something bad really might happen.

Mitile: Something bad…

Riquet: Nero… Why are the people at the gate so angry? I can understand being scared of the dragon and the natural disasters it might cause. But neither of those have anything to do with the people in the castle, do they? Why did they come to the castle, and why are they so angry at those within it?

Nero: It's 'cause the new lord ain't listenin' to what her people have to say. No one can trust someone who won't listen to 'em. But even if they don't trust her, they still have to rely on her. So they're all mobbin' her 'cause they're scared she's gonna up 'n abandon them in their time of need. Ignorin' their voices when they're scared and desperate is the same as ignorin' that they exist at all. So they're here to say, "We're here, we're alive." Y'know how Arthur and Rutile listen to whatever people have to say to 'em, even if they don't agree with it?

Mitile: Yeah…

Riquet: They'll even hear out people I think are perfectly fine to ignore…

Nero: Haha… Yeah, I get where you're comin' from. But the people who're spendin' their time listenin' to you on a regular basis… Aren't the people you're gonna be worryin' about up and ditchin' you when somethin' happens.

Riquet: … …I suppose that's true. Oz also didn't talk about himself for a long time. He wasn't someone I thought would come to help me when something happened. I thought it was wrong of him to be unwilling to help others despite holding such great strength. I didn't think he was really seeing me, and so I often made a big fuss about it. "Are you listening, Oz? Make sure you respond! Be sure to say things clearly!" Just like the island residents are doing now. Oz is just bad at talking to people. He isn't doing these things on purpose to spite people. But once Oz began meeting my eyes and listening to me, I stopped feeling the need to make such a fuss about it.

Mitile: … …I understand how they feel, too… I always want to make sure people are listening to what I have to say. I always feel childish and ashamed of myself when I say that kind of thing, so I don't like to, but… When busy grown-ups look back at me and nod and listen to what I'm saying… It feels like my words…and I myself really matter… So I was really happy today. Dr. Figaro really talked with me… It made me feel like he was really acknowledging me and putting his faith in me…

Nero: …Yeah, I know what you mean…

Mitile: You do?

Nero: Back when I was younger, there was someone I wanted to stop and look at me. I don't think I wanted him to praise me, but at the same time, I really wanted him to… I wanted him to see there was value in where we were. I wanted him to think there was somethin' worth keepin' his interest.

Riquet: Are you talking about your father?

Nero: I mean, no, but…

Riquet: Was it someone who guided you?

Nero: …Yeah, I guess you could say that…

Mitile: Did he ever stop and look at you?

Nero: Maybe halfway… But I never let my frustration with that bubble over. Because he did look at me. He was workin' hard and held himself back. He did listen to what I had to say to him. …The new lord here was prob'ly the complete opposite when she was talkin' to the head chef. She didn't listen to what anyone was tryin' to tell her. So everyone, the island residents, the wizards in the market, even the people in her own castle… All of 'em expect her to cut and run at the first sign of trouble.

Riquet: … Dianne said that it's her job to guide the people living on the island. So why doesn't she do that when her people are in so much distress?

Nero: Beats me… Maybe there's some kinda circumstances we don't know about… But anyways, there's way too much bad stuff all lined up in a row out here. Even a single misstep could end up with a full-blown riot on our hands. That guy'd be good at unifying everyone at a time like this, but…

Mitile: Ah… My brother and everyone else are about to leave!

Riquet: Let's go see them off!

Nero: Yeah, let's.

✦✧☾✧✦

We were about to dive to the bottom of the sea, to where Balthazar was lying in wait. The ones meant to wait in the castle--Nero, Riquet, and Mitile--came to see us off. Figaro didn't, but he couldn't let himself pause in Snow's treatment for something like this. Snow had been poisoned, White had vanished, Shylock had been kidnapped, and Lennox was being manipulated… And to heal them, to bring them back, we had to face off against a Northern wizard and a sea dragon. Going against that sea dragon in particular… Thinking about that made my chest ache.

Akira: (…Hwylryn…)

But I could only let myself think about him for so long. We didn't have a moment to waste right now. More than anything else, I didn't want to lose Snow, White, Shylock, and Lennox. We finished up getting ready to depart, and left the castle, standing just before the castle gate. On our way, someone from the castle called out to us. Everyone was in a rush around us, anxiety plain in their movements.

Castle Butler: Master Sage, Prince Arthur, how did your investigation into the disappearances go? In truth, I have something else I wish to pass on to you as well…

Cain: We'll need you to tell our comrades about that later. We've got stuff to talk to your side about too, though. Three corpses were found without their heads, right? Can you tell us why we didn't get informed of that particular detail?

Castle Butler: W-well…

Cain: I'd appreciate it if you could make time with Lord Dianne for us. I'd like to talk to her more in depth…

Nero: I'll take over from here.

Cain: Got it?

Castle Butler: Y-yes, sir!

✦✧☾✧✦

Shino joined our group with his scythe on his shoulder and his bag stuffed full of Rutile's medicinal herbs. Murr turned back to the rest of us while walking towards the front.

Murr: Okaaaay, let's get this show on the road! All of you can use magic that'll let you move freely underwater, right?

Arthur: I can, yes. How about the rest of you?

Shino: Yeah.

Heathcliff: I'll probably be okay. I put a good amount of practice into it during lessons. I haven't been able to put it into practice for a particularly extended period of time, though.

Rutile: Same here. I've played around in rivers and lakes before, but it'll be my first time going this deep.

Chloe: Um, I'm not super confident I can.

Murr: Rustica, can you help him out?

Rustica: I believe I can keep him breathing under the waves, yes.

Chloe: Wh…what else is there to worry about?

Rustica: I cannot swim, you see.

Chloe: Huh?!

Arthur: Really?!

Murr: Have you drowned before?

Rustica: Who knows? But I'm very certain I can't swim.

Chloe: Now that you mention it, we've never gone swimming during our travels…

Cain: Just leave the swimming part to me. As long as you can both breathe underwater, I'll take point and you can follow my lead.

Arthur: There's a big river in your hometown, right?

Cain: Yeah. You should come swimming with me sometime, your Highness.

Murr: So the Sage should be with Oz, Faust, Rustica, or me. We'll make sure they're covered.

Arthur: Thank you. The deep sea is not only dangerous, but also draining to navigate. If you start getting tired, please feel free to separate from the rest of the group and take a break. If you can float up to the surface and get to the sky, it should be simple enough to find land again. If you've completely exhausted your magic, though, you won't be able to fly. Lord Oz's magic will be more than enough to bring us all back to land, but at the same time, that will be difficult to do until dawn breaks.

Faust: That's true. Murr and I should be able to aid the rest of our students, but… We should have contingencies in place, just in case. All of you should keep a close eye on how much magic and physical exertion you're using.

Heathcliff: Understood.

Cain: Gotcha.

Shino: Yeah. Can I ask something?

Arthur: What is it?

Shino: How are we gonna kill the dragon when Oz can't use magic? If the Sage is with him, he should be able to use it, but he failed at killing it just earlier today.

Shino was staring at me, and I kept my mouth shut. I remembered what I'd done only a short while ago. I didn't want to hurt Hwylryn. The moment I'd thought that, the moment I'd let go of Oz's hand, he'd stopped being able to use magic. Eleven of my dear wizards bore an injury from <the Great Calamity>, a burden that restricted them terribly. When I, the Sage, touched them, the weight of that burden was lessened. We'd done this many times over now. Oz, who could no longer use magic at night, could use magic. The sleepless Mithra could rest… But there were also many times it hadn't gone so well. No matter how many times I desperately pray for it to work, those prayers are never answered… I still don't understand why it works some times but not others. But as of this last incident, I had a feeling I'd made the first step towards understanding that mystery.

Akira: (…It's because of my own heart…)

It took me a moment to realize I was clenching my hands.

Akira: (Wizards cast magic with their hearts. This must be the same principle…) (I think that if both I and the wizard in question aren't wanting the same thing, then I can't do anything to heal their injury from the Calamity…)

But even if we said that, there were still some points that didn't cover. For instance, I wasn't very good at letting Oz use his magic again during the Umbra Volans incident, at least at first. Nor when Shylock was suffering from his heart being set aflame, even when he was in so much pain right in front of me…

Akira: (…Even though Nova was able to do it…)

Though I was at a bit of a loss, I still put my thoughts into words.

Arthur: I see… So you don't wish to attack the sea dragon, Master Sage. That's why Lord Oz isn't able to use his magic right now… That's what you're trying to say, yes?

Akira: I mean, that just has to be it, I can't think of any other reason why… That's definitely how it feels to me.

Murr: Then while we're in the water, Oz, you need to keep your desire to protect us in alignment with the Sage's. Normally I'd want to do some proper experimentation to verify things, but we sadly don't have the time for that right now.

Faust: At the very least, we should be able to make sure the younger wizards all stay safe… Oz.

Oz: What.

Faust: If you feel that your heart and the Sage's aren't matching up, take the younger wizards back to shore. Can you do that?

Oz looked at me. I looked away, feeling like I was trying to run away from the intensity of his gaze. It wasn't a comfortable feeling.

Akira: (Oz must be really troubled by not being able to use magic…) (Normally everything works out just fine, but because of me…) (When Snow and White were in danger, I started getting all wishy-washy because of a dragon I'd only just met…) (That's what he must be thinking about me right now…)

I felt terrible that I couldn't meet the expectations everyone had placed on me.

Oz: Sage.

Akira: Yes…

I responded to Oz when he said my name. The voice that spilled from my lips was unbelievably small. But Oz's voice contained no blame or accusation within its thunder.

Oz: I believe I once told you to not let your role confine you.

Akira: …

I looked up at him, startled. He had said something similar to me before. Those words, too, had felt very precious at the time. I mustn't forget my own name. The weight of my role was such that it could blot out my personal identity. And now… I was the one who had begun to forget who I was. I'd started to think that if I couldn't fulfill the role I was supposed to play, then there wasn't any point in me being here in the first place. It wasn't that anyone had told me that. But still, the weight of responsibility had made my heart begin to curl in on itself. Akira didn't need to be here. The perfect, flawless Sage should be standing in their place. I took a moment to once again look around myself. Everyone's expressions were tense, taut as a drawn bowstring. Arthur, Cain, and Faust were staring at me, their gazes focused… As was Murr, with his wandering gaze, as well as Heathcliff and Shino, after they glanced at each other. Rutile and Chloe were too, both looking worried. And then there were Nero and Rustica, who looked like they were watching over me from far away. Riquet and Mitile were holding hands, but they were looking at me, not at each other. I could tell. All of them were desperately thinking about what they could do for me. "It wasn't all you sole responsibility. We can help, too." That's what it felt like they were saying to me. I took a slow, deep breath in, exhaled, and then opened my mouth.

Akira: It's not like I can be 100% about it, but… I think I can work with Oz to let him use magic as long as it's not for violence. If it's to help any of you, then I definitely think I'll be able to help.

Faust: Got it. Thank you.

Shino: I don't want to get dragged back to shore. I'll figure something out on my own.

Cain: I'm pretty confident in my diving ability. I dunno exactly how well that'll hold up in the deep sea, but…

Chloe: But, um, isn't that gonna be pretty bad in the definitely super small chance that we got forced to fight the dragon…? Oz can't use his magic for that, and none of the Northern wizards are here, either… I mean, this is totally hypothetical, okay?! I definitely don't want us to have to fight against a dragon that the Sage is friends with!

Arthur: You have a point… Master Sage, do you think opening a dialogue with this "Hwylryn" fellow would be worth a try?

Akira: A dialogue…

Arthur: Yes. If it's possible to avoid any conflict by talking with him, then…

Arthur's words made me feel a faint sense of hope.

Akira: …I don't think it's impossible, at the very least. Hwylryn didn't strike me as being super into violence. He was more playful and mischievous, if anything…

Chloe: A mischievous dragon…

Rustica: What a wonderful prospect. I hope we can become friends.

Akira: I hope so, too.

My tone had sharpened a bit, though I hadn't meant it to.

Akira: Actually, Hwylryn said a bunch of times that his brother was more predisposed to being aggressive. So I figure that means Hwylryn himself is a lot more mild-mannered than his brother was…

Oz: …I have never heard of a mild-mannered dragon before. Though they may not be needlessly aggressive, their arrogance and wariness are both very defined. I do not believe conversation will be an option.

Akira: H…Hwylryn can definitely be talked to.

Oz: …

Arthur: Your own wariness is entirely understandable, Lord Oz. But the one who has had direct experience in speaking with this dragon named Hwylryn and flown at his side through the sky is the Sage. Can we not have faith in what they say and make an attempt at negotiations?

Akira: Negotiations… That's right, he also talked about wanting to negotiate with me! It was when we first met… You remember too, right, Rutile?

Rutile: Yes, I do. In exchange for gemstones, he wanted us to share our torta di cocco with him…

Heathcliff: A dragon that wants to eat sweets…?

Shino: That's surprisingly humble.

Oz: …I understand. If that is what the Sage wishes.

Murr: So, what about Balthazar? Are we gonna try to persuade him, too? If he wants a proper apology from Oz and Figaro, will he get one?

Murr's words were as sharp as a blade, but I didn't see any intention to pick a fight or start an argument in his eyes. He was just simply trying to get a straight yes or no answer. Arthur hesitated for a moment before turning to Oz. Oz greeted him with a steely gaze.

Oz: I see no reason to. Being unable to control my magic as I desire is putting needless strain upon the younger wizards… For that, I will apologize. However, Balthazar has no understanding of his own sins. Power is everything in the North. Bowing my head to him will do nothing but spark his fury.

There was no hesitation whatsoever in Oz's words. Murr shrugged his shoulders and looked back at Arthur.

Murr: Well, there you have it. So we're not going to be persuading Balthazar to do anything, and instead we'll just take him out. I don't really know very much about him. But I do know he's got a real thing for Shylock, and that he was the one who sank Adams Island. That means he's got both the inclination towards and means for sinking an island. We can't say for certain he won't make the same decision again if he gets pushed far enough!

Chloe: So he might sink Borda Island?

Murr: Full marks!

Arthur: Then it'd be best if we made arrangements for evacuation and rescue operations ahead of time, just in case.

Nero: Gotcha. I'll make sure I talk to the new lord about it.

Faust: Sorry, and thanks.

Arthur: Now for our next point of discussion… What precisely will we be doing once we're underwater? Heathcliff. Can you tell us what you learned from Vespa?

Heathcliff: Yes. Balthazar has taken the other mermaids captive, and rules over them like a tyrant. He works them like slaves, imprisons them in a cage at the bottom of the sea…

Oz: …I have seen this cage.

Heathcliff: You have?! When…?

Oz: Before sunset.

Heathcliff: According to Vespa, several of the mermaids know where to find a sunken ship.

Murr: Is it Melissa's ship?

Heathcliff: She doesn't know for sure, but Balthazar seems to think it is. Apparently he's been trying to threaten the mermaids into guiding him to the ship so that he can get the cintamani stone of medicine.

Faust: And so he confined some of the mermaids to that end. Why are they refusing to show him where it is?

Heathcliff: Vespa told me to keep this a secret, so I can't talk about all of the details, but… It seems to be very close to a location of great importance to the mermaids.

Murr: I see! But she doesn't know where the sunken ship is?

Rustica: Oh my. She raised one of her hands and tilted her head.

Chloe: Maybe she knows…?

Nero: Nah, this is what she does when she doesn't know.

Cain: It'd be pretty bad if we got lost at the bottom of the ocean. Can you introduce us to anyone who does know where the ship is?

Vespa: …! …!

Cain: She raised her right hand.

Heathcliff: Apparently her sisters know. They're some of the mermaids trapped in the cage, though.

Faust: It's probable that one of them knows where Balthazar is, too. We should ask them after we've helped them.

Arthur: Then let's head for the mermaids' cage!

Rutile & Shino & Cain: Yeahhhh!

That was a chorus of voices I knew I could rely on. As we drew closer to the castle gates, we began to hear the voices of angry, desperate people.

Cain: What should we do? Should we take to the sky and fly to the ocean?

Arthur: No, wizards flying off the island right now when Lady Dianne has yet to address the people would only make them more suspicious of her. So we're going to leave through the front gate. I will talk to the island residents.

Arthur's expression grew serious. Cain put his hand on the hilt of his sword, and Shino adjusted his grip on his scythe. Oz and Faust both looked like there was something they wanted to say as they watched Arthur. And then Murr did a somersault through the air with catlike grace.

Murr: One last thing! We all gotta have fun on our upcoming expedition!

Everyone raised their heads to watch Murr as he tumbled through the sky. A golden moon hung in the cloudless sky, as if the torrential rains had all been a bad dream. <The Great Calamity>. It illuminated the darkness of our world just as surely as it would destroy it. And yet, for some reason, it felt like it was watching over us tonight. It was like it knew we were heading to the bottom of the sea, where its light wouldn't reach, its gaze a peaceful and gentle one… Murr narrowed his eyes like a contented cat, though he was embracing the moonlight and not a warm sunbeam.

Murr: It's a lot easier to take it easy when you're having fun. And taking it easy opens up more options than when you're taking things too seriously! The goddess of victory is gonna run away if you've got a frown on your face! Besides, you guys won't believe how pretty the sea is at night!

He was right. I steadied my breathing, and then opened my eyes. My field of vision that had been swallowed up by the darkness slowly began to expand. The moon's light reached out to all of us, all throughout the world, embracing us in its rays. I heard the sound of the waves from the vast, mystical place we called the "ocean" so easily, never considering how little we knew of what lay beneath its waves. And thus, surely we'd see sights we'd never seen before.

Cain: Open the gate.

Castle Gatekeeper: B--but…

Arthur: I will take full responsibility. Please, open the gate.

Castle Gatekeeper: You are…?

Arthur: One of the Sage's wizards, as well as the crown prince of Central Country. Arthur Granvelle.

Castle Gatekeeper: Y-yessir…!

✦✧☾✧✦

There were many people gathered beyond the gate, anger, anxiety, and frustration clear on all of their faces. This mob was clearly motivated by more than just petty irritation. They couldn't just stand around doing nothing, not when they were worried about their families, their coworkers, their friends--and so, their legs had carried them here. But as Arthur took his place before them, their angry yelling was quickly silenced. It wasn't because he looked every inch the noble prince that he was, no. It was because his eyes, the same blue as the sea and sky, were truly pure. He regarded them with the same expression as if he were addressing his friends.

Arthur: People of Borda Island, I cannot apologize enough for having caused you worry. I am Arthur Granvelle. One of the Sage's wizards, and the crown prince of Central Country. The local lord, Lady Dianne, has asked us to look into the strange incidents taking place on this island.

Borda Island Resident: She asked you to…? So she isn't just trying to cover things up for the wizards here.

Arthur: While our investigation has yet to conclude, we have reason to believe that these incidents involve Adams Island, which sank below the waves many centuries ago… And the wizard that sank it, Balthazar.

Borda Island Resident: The wizard that sank Adams Island?! Does that mean this island is going to sink, too?!

Arthur: We won't let that happen. In fact, we're presently headed to the bottom of the sea to prevent exactly that. I want all of you to help each other. I imagine that some of the wizards that do business in the market may be familiar with similar past incidents. Listen to what they have to say. Ask them what you should do to prepare yourselves.

Borda Island Resident: B… But will the market wizards even want to work with us?

Arthur: Of course they will. As long as all of you intend to help them, too.

Chloe: A… And because Shylock's in real big trouble right now! If you tell them it's for Shylock's sake, the older wizards will definitely help you with what's going on! I think!

Borda Island Resident: Alright… Then… We should find this "Balthazar".

Cain: Borda Castle should also be coming up with countermeasures. You should contact them when you've figured out what you want to do.

Nero: Yeah. I'll make arrangements for all that.

Heathcliff was smiling as he watched their exchange. He took a small, nervous breath and straightened his back. When he noticed I was looking at him, Heathcliff told me something.

Heathcliff: I started feeling like Shylock and the others who aren't here are still at our sides somehow… Shylock taught me a lot about how to enjoy myself. Lennox taught me how to be more stubborn… Lord Snow and White taught me how to have the courage to face a strong foe… So, it just feels like they're here with us right now…

Heathcliff gazed at the ocean's dark waters. I was reminded of something. Although Heathcliff was normally a shy and gentle person… It was his desperate plea that had first moved my heart after I'd arrived in this world. Heathcliff's desire to help his comrades and kind feelings had touched me, and made me put my faith in the wizards. I felt like I was seeing the same scene now that I'd seen that night.

Cain: Riquet, the rest is up to you!

Arthur: Please don't push yourselves.

Riquet: I should be the one saying that to all of you. Please take care and come home safe. Lord Arthur, Cain, I'll see you soon! You too, Oz!

Oz: Yes.

Nero: Shino, Heath, take care of Teach for me.

Shino: That's the opposite of what you usually say.

Heathcliff: You can leave him to us.

Vespa: …! …!

Heathcliff: Vespa'll do her best, too!

Faust: I'm already calm and composed. I'll be fine.

Mitile: Rutile, please make sure to get Leno back.

Rutile: I definitely will. Mitile, take good care of Riquet and Dr. Figaro, okay? And be sure to listen to what Nero tells you. …Mitile, let me see your face.

Mitile: …Please be safe, Rutile…!

Rutile: Mhm…!

Arthur: Now then, it's time for us to depart! <Pernoctant Nixzo>!

Cain: <Gladius Procella>!

Shino: <Matzah Sudipas>!

Heathcliff: <Repsev Aivulp Sunos>

Chloe: <Suispicibo Voitengok>!

Rutile: <Ortonik Setomaouge>!

One by one, my wizards chanted their spells and stepped into the water. First were the younger ones, and then the more experienced ones also sank into the water after them. The moon's light shined off the surface of the water. Seeing such a beautiful sight made me remember something with a gasp, and all of the wizards still on the shore turned back to me. I looked at Mitile and shouted to him.

Akira: Mitile! Can you ask the owner of that one shop to bake a torta di cocco, please?!

Mitile: Torta di cocco?!

Akira: Yes! And if Mithra comes back… Tell him to bring it with one of his doors through space, please! Hwylryn really wanted to eat it! So maybe it'll help with negotiations…

Mitile: Okay, got it! I'll find the shopkeeper as fast as I can and ask them!

Riquet: If we get turned down, we'll have Nero make it instead!

Nero: Man, I don't wanna try makin' a cake with so much ridin' on it on the first go… But I'll make it happen somehow! Take care of yourself, Sage!

Akira: Yeah…!

After responding, I turned back around to the ocean. I took Oz's hand in mine and held it tightly. He reciprocated the gesture, his fingertips pressing against the back of my hand.

Oz: <Vox Nox>

And we jumped into the water together.

Next Chapter

#.mhyktl #.eventtl #.main story tl #4th anni

[the-fallen-blue]

If one of your mutuals wrote a Wonder Woman story, what would you - theoretically - be most worried about them getting Wrong

I think I'd trust most of my mutuals not to get her capital-W Wrong in any important way. Like, no one who still wants to hear from me after thirty chapters of World of Wondy is going to Make Dudes Too Important or write a Mean Straw Feminist or have her just be totally incompetent, which are the things I, from experience, tend to worry the most about from her actual fucking canon over the years.

However, if one is actually seeking guidance, since this seems like as good an excuse as any, I do have like, a five-point basic guideline for Essentials To A Good Wondy Story that I put together as part of that essay series I never actually did about how I would do a Wonder Woman TV show:

Remember the Truth - Diana's ability to see things as they genuinely are, us and herself and the world, and that being the root of her power and her compassion, is such an incredible hook, such a great way to set her character apart from every other flying brick, so perfectly in line with her themes of equality and justice and inspiration. Remember that she sees things from that unique perspective and that that is her most powerful ability, and always look to it as your first and most useful tool when you're deciding what to do with the rest of this.

Leave no Heart Untouched - Diana is not here to save us, she's here to inspire us. Even if the main conflict is resolved by punching, there should at least be some minor side characters who change their lives for the better in some small way because of her influence. A redeemed thug, a businessman who goes nonprofit, even something as small as a kid treating his sister better, it doesn't always have to be Ares or Circe, but it should always be there.

Look Beyond Capes and Tights - corollary to #2, we mostly watch her do superhero stuff in comics and relationship stuff in fanfic, but her actual in-universe job is like 10% that, 90% the dedicated struggle for social justice. Rucka was very good at this and serves as a solid model - any full arc in any medium should have at least one brief scene of her pressuring politicians to put through a bill or note from an aide that adolescent drug use in Massachusetts is down 15% thanks to Myndi Meyer clubs or wtfever, because that is always the biggest part of her life.

Hold on to Wonder - Diana is not angsty. In fact, an obvious criticism of Marston is that his Wondy was perhaps having too much fun. Our girl is not naive, but she is very much an idealist and an optimist, a finder of silver linings, someone with a sharp sense of humor, who finds deep joy in her mission and the people she loves. I genuinely think that Berserker Sword Warrior Diana who actually smiles is more faithful (and certainly more fun to read) than Peaceful Diplomat Diana who's just miserable and fatalistic 24/7. "Being a good person sucks" is a terrible message.

Do Epic Shit - doesn't have to be plot-relevant, but this is a superhero here, you wanna have her punching a spaceship or singlehandedly hauling an oil tanker away from a reef or walking unimpressed out from under a collapsing building just for context or what's the point?

#ask box #anonymous #rabid wondy fan post

[darlingpwease]

hUH?? WHAT?! WHY??? /ht??

Exactly!! Yes!!! Sure he may have... issues... but don't we all?? He looks so rugged yet so soft,,, wanna pinch his cheeks-

Yes, unfortunately.. /j I completely forgot it was a monocle lol oops

😟😟 its not that bad, I still remember things– I remember the basic plot, which is just a ton of noncon porn,, I wanted to pamper him and steal him away

He is your king, always was and still will be, no matter what changes. On those nights where he's all alone, you make sure to be there for comfort. He protected you before in the past, and just as you had done before, you will protect him, especially with how fragile he's become. Make sure to take care of him, always looking out for him, and after the others 'visit' him, you make sure to tend to him properly, to try to give him at least some kind of escape.

-panna cotta

put yourself in my shoes.... when the second parent is a person who constantly goes to war, laughs at the sight of knives and reads such literature, it is no wonder to try to protect writebabies...... I can't just look at it knowing that this is the panna cotta who forgets where our kittens come from and doesn't consider us 'close enough', but at the same time stores kilobytes of noncon porn........... /t /j /nsrs

yes!!! yeah, he's a little fucked up, but he's cute!!! he's crying!!! he's wagging his tail!!! absolutely precious!!! he is so strong, but at the same time so desperate and needy!!! maybe he's a little,,, well, not the most stable,,,,, but that's okay!!! he's good!!! he doesn't bite (maybe)!!! pretty tall woof woof!!! <33333

you sound like the star who brought a new man into the house, tbh,,, don't tell me you liked him /t /hj /nsrs it's okay, you can be forgiven, given your characteristics~ /t /me too boo me too

,,,, you understand that this only makes things worse, love,,,, you are more likely to remember noncon porn than something else,,,,,, and I'm sure that of all the options 'noncon porn' this is the best,,,,,,, /t /nsrs this was one of the reasons why most noncon things don't suit me, I just want to take him to me and shamelessly spoil him,,,,, wrap him in a blanket & put in a cool dry place so that he can rest while I pamper him,,,,,,,,

no matter what, you promised that you would be faithful, and you will be faithful — even when he covers his face with hands, with shame and guilty pleasure feeling how you take care of him, as if nothing has changed and the position in which he is not humiliating,,,,, he took you in, picked you up, agreed to your position next to him, trusted you — and even if you can easily take control and take advantage, it's not that someone can stop you, you don't do it.

LEON thinks only about survival, — to stay alive more than suits him no matter what the cost — but when you gently touch his body, not for the sake of carnal desires or to breed him like an animal, but to remove other's traces amd marks, helping his body find a position in which the pain will be weaker, pampering him until he finds restless sleep in your hot embrace, cold as a stone, which is not something rare for him, but your warmth still causes a delicious bliss inside,,,, he doesn't know— he's not sure, that he only wants to 'stay alive'.

you are like the heat of a fire that makes him feel so good,,,,

when you come to him again, easily taking care of his already accustomed to such a body, which immediately relaxes in your hands, giving everything you want — the last thing you expect is a sharp grip on your collar and pressing down, and although he is not at all strong enough to be able to knock you down, you allow it out of habit rather than out of force.

but what can you say to his nervously desperate question, why exactly are you doing nothing when everyone has already managed to use his body — but it is you, it is you, who refuse all the time and instead give comfort and safety, like his harbor.

and it's so wrong.

#[📂] — voice from under the bed #❖.my jewelry #✮.panna cotta <3 #🥮 — dark fall #✉.leon

[n4talia-chaparro]

LIL AU RAMBLE UH--

since someone (Kai) in my inbox mentioned Tommy from the first CU movie I had a few things to say about that bitch ass character.

I ALWAYS wanted to draw a few background characters from the movie since their designs are well-made compared to the show, well never had a chance to put any of them for my future projects. Since Tommy is mentioned now I wanna ramble and share my ideas-

OK OK SO ABOUT TOMMY-

I think Tommy should be part of the surviving team or sum. He is probably well known for hiding in the locker like a fucking coward he is. I think the idea of him hiding in those lockers or any safe hiding spot fits the AU so well. It reminds me of this one old and nostalgic indie horror game that was released in 2015-2016 where you have to hide from 3 little ugly-ass muppets that are like a rip-off of sesame street or walk through a tight-ass hallway. I think it's called 123 Slaughter Me Street. I think????

It also reminds me of a few indie horror games, especially a new one that came out THIS YEAR. Uh maybe Last Monday by Alex Craig-

UH AND MURDER HOUSE BY PUPPET COMBO-

Enough of the game um but "What does the game have anything to do with the au" WELL GOOD QUESTION even tho you didn't ask but I'll answer it anyway!!!

There are 3 or more categories for each character. I'll only mention 3 because I don't know if I can mention all of them in one post like this but anyway.

There are 3 categories;

Survivors, dead, and the KR org members.

Each character belongs to the category depending on how the story goes (I think?). JUST LIKE ANY OTHER HORROR GAMES OF COURSE-

If Tommy never got seen by the man himself and didn't come out of the locker, he belongs to the survivor category. I just realized that if Tommy has been hiding in there for a long time, even if he was witnessing all those gruesome scenes through his locker door and holding the urge of vomiting, cuz obviously the damn AU itself contains gore like any normal horror games...

(What the fuck did you expect the au to be, family-friendly? If you are one of those cowards who will complain, get the fuck out)

AHEM. Tommy, on the other hand, is the type of person who finds a place to hide like any protagonist of the damn game whenever a monster/serial killer is finding them cuz when it comes to finding a way to head to class without seeing caught is the only thing that makes him scare because Tommy always been scared of Krupp in the movie and ends up hiding but with GP... my man had to run for his life before he goes to the wrong direction BRUUH 💀💀💀

But the dumb question is.

"Which category fits Tommy???"

He may be in the survivor category but at the same time, there's a chance he will fall in the KR.org category. Just hear me out.

There could be two options if Tommy was alive. He would choose being fucking killed and accept his faith OOORRRR be alive except he is forced to be part of the KR org where Harold and the other 4 members are.

We don't know if Tommy will trust Harold (well Harold was dragged and forced so pls keep that in mind he is forced to betray any victims) or any student because he is unaware of the KR group. All he knows is that he has been hiding inside his damn locker 24/7 and had to hear screaming and guts splattering around.

Which is silly because I don't know. Nobody fucking knows. Tommy is either a survivor or a victim whom GP NEVER had the chance to interact with because Tommy hides so well that GP doesn't even sense it. UNLESS the victim is very lost in the hallway and doesn't know where to hide or find someone for help and then doesn't sense any red flags from Gp. Even if he is a murderer he knows how to trick his victims and I'm sure Tommy will end up falling for it but did it happen in the storyline if GP was with the other MISSING CHILDREN?

I don't know. That mf has been hiding in there what did you expect- so uh I think that's all?

This is pointless ik but I wanna keep rambling and talking LOL

Silly note: which category fits him the most- pls let me know I'm curious and I don't mind any suggestions from y'all ! :ppp

#cu tbgdotgp au #cu au #natty rambles #GOD DAMMMMN TF HAVE I DONE- 😭😭💀💀💀💀‼️‼️‼️‼️

[thatslayer]

💕🎆

This one got kind of long so I tucked it under 'read more'. <3

🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?

I think that's always end game, but she just doesn't know how to get there. Faith's got a good reason not to trust anyone, especially men, and it's an unfortunate obstacle to getting close enough to her for anything long-term.

That's not 'no, never' - By all means, never let her hang-ups be the final word. I feel like people get the wrong idea about Faith's closed-off, 'get some, get gone' way of living and they give up right away - it's a defense mechanism, and while she might be happy to get physical early on then kinda lose interest, that's more to keep herself safe from heartbreak than anything else. She'd much rather be the cool one who doesn't care, it's way more fun, lol.

Faith's not going to fall into a stranger's arms right at the start of a thread. It takes time, it takes patience and it takes showing up. I know her bs is probably discouraging, and I apologize if it is --- and, I have so much respect for you for asking actual questions about the why and how when you don't always get why she's acting how she's acting. It's so helpful, it really is, and I'm glad you do that because it makes plotting with you so much easier. If it helps any, Randy's really growing on her. <3

This is adjacent to your question, but it's not aimed at you (you've been so lovely about Faith and her cold, black heart lol) - It does kinda boggle my mind that so many follow me knowing full well who Faith is from actually watching the show and *seeing* her use guys like tissues and walk away, and then the same muns get angry with me or give up when Faith doesn't fall in love with their muse immediately. It makes me wanna bite people, lol.

💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

HELL no, are you kidding me? Faith's done some wild stuff in her life, but she'd never put herself in a position where she wasn't the sole object of someone's affection because she's so insecure. So, so insecure. It's hard enough to get her to believe someone cares about her, but if you add a third person into the mix she'll be so jealous of them that I can't see it not imploding.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with polyamorous relationships, the problem here is Faith and that she's really not emotionally healthy enough and would take the whole thing wrong. Threesome is about as close as you're getting.

Accepting

#motivesrincidental #s+r meme #SinSlay

[pigeonwit]

Hi hi hello how are youuuu

wbwbwb do you have any thoughts about detective noir au Jack (also do you also picture him as Michael Jack wbwbw)??

(i’m thinking of designing him next now that i finished all kath’s designs wbwbwb)

[screaming crying throwing up] babe wake up potential new walkman-cat detective noir au design*!!!

(*potentially, in the future at a nonspecific date because we value taking our time and creating at a pace best for us in this house)

honestly man. im biased. im always seeing jack as michael. he is the only jack ever to me. and again i do not know noir very well, and this is your au, so whatever suggestions i have are free to just be thrown out. but,,, homme fatale is a great trope and its so rarely used and it WORKS for jack. hes shady, hes obviously putting up a front, youre not sure if you can trust him, he'd slay a sax-heavy musical motif/theme. but hes also vulnerable, when he does wrong he does it for a reason, hes a young person in a desperate situation and he wants out however he can, and the closer he comes to escaping this terrible situation hes in and getting to a better life, the more he has to sacrifice his own morals.

(also not to like. push my own wants here but if you're planning on using michael jack... hes already wearing red.)

disclaimer: i dont know what the plot of your au is here, i dont know what youre planning, i am JUST going off the impression i have so far; if thats wrong, if anything im saying goes against what you personally want for this au, literally just throw what im saying away. this is your thing, im just a suggestion box. a vibe generator if you will.

(although if you do wanna share what you have planned id love to hear it 👉👈)

in my own head ive just got a vague idea of jack and davey both being involved in the web of a very dangerous case that theyre both trying to solve, but both have different reasons for doing so. neither of them want the other to solve it first, but if they have to work together to stop the true guilty party at the heart of this case, they will begrudgingly do it - and learn more about each other in the process. just imagine shady shadowy homme fatale jack slinking around daveys investigation and fucking shit up for him that davey only realizes hours after jacks left - and hes furious about it but also DAMN that was kind of impressive. imagine davey effortlessly smooth talking his way around people until they just give him what he wants, because he KNOWS people, hes spent his whole life studying how to be Like Them, so he knows how to use that against them - and jack is just stunned because... wow, maybe this stuff shirt is more competent than he thought. imagine davey, who tries so hard to maintain a flawlessly black-and-white moral compass, having to put all his faith in a man who is very VERY gray. imagine jack constantly having his guard up around davey only to learn that underneath his 'rules were made to be followed' exterior is a very desperate man just trying to survive. i think thered be an aspect for both of them of putting all your trust and faith in someone you know could easily turn on you, and then being surprised and fascinated and touched that they cared enough not to do that. that theres someone out there in this very shitty world who is just kind without having a reason to be.

#as for like. vague details that come to mind - probably works at meddas speakeasy right? #backdrops of course but maybe he can be a suave shady bartender who manages to clock who davey is before davey clocks him #thereby lulling him into giving up some secrets without realizing #thats really it for me tho #ion the amount of effort youre putting into this is INSPIRING. i cant wait to see what you make next #but remember take your time be aware of your energy and if you need a break then take one!! #newsies #ask #jack kelly #walkman-cat #LONG post

[bittwitchy]

TAYLOR SWIFT MIDNIGHTS SENTENCE STARTERS: PART TWO

change pronouns/etc as needed.

Hits Different

“You made a mess of me.”

“I pictured you with other girls in love.”

“They say that if it’s right, you know.”

“Nothing has ever felt so wrong.”

“Oh my, love is a lie.”

“It hits different this time.”

“Moving on was always easy for me to do.”

“Skip town like an asshole outlaw.”

“Freedom felt like summer then on the coast.”

“My sadness is contagious.”

“I slur your name until someone puts me in a car.”

“I stopped receiving invitations.”

“I find the artifacts, cried over a hat, cursed the space that I needed.”

“I traced the evidence. Make it make sense.”

“Why is the wound still bleeding?”

“You were the one that I loved.”

“A wrinkle in time like the crease in your eyes.”

“This is why they shouldn’t kill off the main guy.”

“Dreams of your hair, and your stare, and sense of belief.”

“You once believed in me.”

“I felt you and I held you for awhile.”

“Bet I could still melt your world, argumentative, anthithetical dream girl.”

“Is that your key in the door? Is it okay? Is it you?”

“Have they come to take me away?”

The Great War

“My knuckles were bruised like violets.”

“Cursed you as I sleep talked.”

“Spineless in my tomb of silence.”

“Flashes of the war came back to me in a blur.”

“All that bloodshed, crimson and clover.”

“Sweet dream was over.”

“My hand was the one you reached for.”

“I vowed not to cry anymore.”

“I drew my curtains closed, drank my poison all alone.”

“You said I have to trust more freely.”

“Diesel is desire, you were playing with fire.”

“Maybe it’s the past that’s talking.”

“Screaming from a crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did.”

“Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed.”

“Hold you down on that icy ground.”

“That was the night I nearly lost you.”

“I really thought I lost you.”

“It was war, it wasn’t fair.”

“We will never go back.”

“I will always be yours.”

Bigger than the whole sky

“No words appear before me in the aftermath.”

“Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears.”

“Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness.”

“You were more than just a short time.”

“I’ve got a lot to live without.”

“Every single thing to come has turned into ashes.”

“I’ll say the words I do not believe.”

Paris

“Turns out it was the guy you hooked up with ages ago.”

“Did you see the photos?”

“I’m so in love I might stop breathing.”

“Like we were somewhere else.”

“On my page and on the whole world”

“Romance is not dead if you keep it.”

“I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever.”

“Confess my truth in swooping slopping cursive letters.”

“Be the tower at midnight.”

High Infidelity

“I didn’t know you were keeping count.”

“Put on your records and regret me.”

���I bent the truth too far tonight.”

“Your picket fence is sharp as knives.”

“Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?”

“Dragged my feet right down the isle.”

“Seemed like the right thing at the time.”

“You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love.”

“Do I really have to tell you he brought me back to life?”

Glitch

“We were supposed to be just friends.”

“I think theres been a glitch.”

“Five seconds later, I’m fastening myself to you.”

“I’m not even sorry, nights are so starry, blood moon lit.”

“I thought we had no chance.”

Would’ve, Should’ve, Could’ve

“If you tasted poison, you could’ve spit me out at the first chance.”

“The gods honest truth is that the pain was heaven.”

“Memories feel like weapons.”

“Now that I know, I wish you left me wondering.”

“If you never touched me, I would’ve gone along with the righteous.”

“If I never blushed, then they could’ve never whispered about this.”

“You made me feel important, and then you tried to erase us.”

“You’re a crisis of my faith.”

“I miss who I used to be.”

“This tomb won’t close.”

“Stained glass windows in my mind.”

“I regret you all the time.”

“I can’t let this go, I fight with you in my sleep.”

“The wound won’t close.”

“If clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die?”

“Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts.”

“Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.”

Dear Reader

“If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one.”

“Pick somewhere and just run.”

“Burn all the files, desert all your past lives.”

“If you don’t recognize yourself, that means you did it right.”

“Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart.”

“The greatest of luxuries is your secrets.”

“When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss.”

“I wander through these nights, I prefer hiding in plain sight.”

“No one sees when you lose when you’re playing solitaire.”

#taylor swift sentence starters #taylor swift lyrics #roleplay sentence starters #rp starter sentence meme #rp memes #taylor swift rp starters #midnights spoilers #anYWAYS

[in-christalone]

Girl please pray for me and my family because I have a feeling something is going to go down soon between me and some people if they don't stop talking about sensitive personal topics that I've made clear Is not something I'm okay discussing with them. I've been put into scenarios where they've said things where I felt an extreme need to explain myself because they keep making assumptions on choices I've made for myself that are just not true- and it's been going on for so long that I just need to remember to say that it isn't their life, isn't their choice and need to keep their worries to themselves, and then leave instead of engaging further.

(which, to clarify, what I'm trying to do, my choice, what I want to do, is absolutely not sinful. The bible clearly states in many places that it is okay and it's even encouraged. It's just something that has been progressing more and more to the point they're beating a dead horse. I don't want to specify what the topic is exactly, because I didn't even want to discuss it with these family members, but all they are doing with these comments and pestering me is driving me away from them, and I've noticed it's planting seeds to drive me away from God. I don't want to be another story of someone abandoning Christ and the faith because of any sort of religious trauma or what other human beings said or did. I have no recollection of actually truly doubting my faith until this started to happen. I don't actually think that this would cause me to leave the faith because I understand that there is a massive difference between God thinking something is wrong, and family trying to convince me to go against the biblical choices I made because they don't want me to make those choices. But it has ONLY been successful in making me doubt and damaging my relationships with these family members. Thinking about it, I literally just came out on the other side of a spiritual battle that ended up bringing me closer to God, and now this has come up and is trying to push me further away again...

I don't even know if I can trust their thoughts and opinions on Biblical matters anymore, and they're one of my main sources of fellowship.

I'm just putting this out there because I m getting so frustrated and fed up with these assumptions, and trying to be made to do something I don't want to do, even though what I want to do is perfectly in line with the Bible. I just want to be left alone. I want the relationship to be able to be repaired. It's just another trial that is weakening my relationships with them and God and both of those things had JUST started to get stronger)

I think I understand where you’re going with this, Family will especially try and be a match maker or tell you that your life is for nought if you don’t marry and have children. But you’re absolutely right, the Bible even encourages staying single and dedicating yourself to the Lord instead. So long as you are obeying Christ, the opinions of your family are worthless, because Christ always comes before all else!

Praying for you, don’t be afraid to reach out if you wanna vent or talk more about this

[kindaorangey]

sum scattered thoughts about miraculous under the cut including some spoilers for s5 e18

i wanna preface all of this by saying i don't think the writers did it deliberately and so ultimately it doesn't matter,

BUT,

everybody understands from the very first episode of miraculous that, by the end:

ladybug and chat noir will reveal their identities to each other

they will also be in a relationship with one another

hawk moth will be defeated, and his identity revealed, and therefore

the buttefly miraculous will be recovered

to extend the show beyond that (i.e. to pass the butterfly miraculous on to someone else) would be... shit, right? it'd remove the symbolism of adrien unknowingly fighting his dad, it'd devalue the wider current setup in favour of More Franchising...

it's bad worldbuilding, because it means we'll never get to see the butterfly miraculous outside of a villainous holder...

and yet in timetagger we find out that not only does this story continue well into the kid characters' adulthood, but ladybug and chat noir are still not together, presumably do not know each other's identities, and the butterfly miraculous is still being used for villainy, and by a different person

(it's one of my least favourite episodes for this reason. it breaks the projected narrative for no good reason and only offers "the future isn't set in stone" as consolation)

and there's another moment like this in 'emotion': when ladybug hands herself over to argos.

now, on her end of things, you see the ladybug vision light up on argos and that's how she comes to the conclusion that he's going to have to fix this himself. i think this was interesting in theory, but in practice ladybug should have shown a lot of doubt in having to give up control like this and put faith in someone else. she doesn't have ANY trust in argos/félix because she barely knows him - hell, she has issues entrusting alya and chat with certain things.

yet, when she makes this decision, she smiles and seems very calm.

this is just plain out of character for her, and it's part of a wider issue in the episode where marinette/ladybug mostly just does whatever the plot needs her to do even if her characterisation contradicts it. she's a passive participant in a very important episode and that feels... wrong, to say the least

but, well, fine, she makes the decision and hands herself over. it's something that has to happen for félix's episode arc to occur, and that arc is a good one, so i'm fine with it.

...but it also breaks the law of the ladybug vision. unintentionally, i think, and like i said, i don't think it matters, but if you really think about it...

marinette as a character - as the central protagonist of the show - is supposed to be the "most powerful miraculous holder in history" and at the top of santa's good kid list because she always strives to amend her mistakes and her strength comes not from her perfection but her willingness and ability to fix it when she messes up-

and so, naturally, you'd assume that the ladybug vision is a representation of her working out what to do. that's why it doesn't appear sometimes: she doesn't have the information/perspective she needs in order to know how to use her lucky charm

but. in emotion. like i said, she has no trust in félix. she hardly knows him. she certainly doesn't know enough about him to understand that he'll see the error of his ways

and, like, he doesn't see the error of his ways! not on his own!! adrien and kagami have to point it out to him!!

there's no reason she would legitimately think félix would un-thanos-snap everybody in the end. and when she comes back she says, "it worked!" like she didn't even believe it would.

it sort of presents the ladybug vision as this magical power ladybug inherits when she transforms, something external from her telling her how to use her lucky charm. so it's not ~indicative of her strength and intuition~ at all, lol. just casually undermines the entire reasoning behind her being the main character.

with a little reconstruction, the writers could've had a scene that shows marinette exactly how much adrien means to félix, and that félix intends to keep adrien alive. and, i dunno, maybe it could fit nicely into a wider arc of marinette letting her friends save the day sometimes, of her learning to rely on adrien and kagami in this instance. it'd end up being about her faith in adrien and kagami, not félix.

but as the episode is, this one moment is grossly out of character and if you think too hard about what it implies it starts to unravel the ~sacred principle~ of "every episode, marinette makes a mistake, but by the end has managed to fix it"

i just... fuck's sake, man. so much good and so much garbage going on all at once in this episode. it kinda sucked.

#thunder rambles #ml critical #ml

[junes-revenge]

Let the sun race me home, let the moon set me up.

It's hard to find time nowadays to reflect on myself. I feel like I'm an engine just constantly on the 6th gear, waiting for a bearing to burst just to total out after coming this far. Work is stressful, life is stressful but I'm on the right track and I'm glad I'm moving up in life. Gotta give something to get something right? And speaking of giving, I've been thinking of god a lot. Everyone around me, no matter what religion, is so intune to their belief and it feels like i'm just a robot without faith.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in myself (eye roll), but there were times where I had to look up, say a prayer and put my trust in the powers above. My family's blessed because they're devoted to Jesus. They never skip church, never skip daily prayers, never take things for granted and never miss a moment to thank the lord for any and every blessings. I never liked going to church, nor was interested in praying to something/someone I couldn't connect to, but I guess I'm finally close to god now, and it's one of the relationships I want to work on going forth. I pray for everyone around me, in and around my life, past and present.

Whenever I think of god a Kanye lyric pops up and it goes..

"I wanna talk to God but I'm afraid 'cause we ain't spoke in so long"

A lot of bad things in life happened, and I'd like to think if there is a god, who's out there protecting us, why would he let it happen? It's so childish to believe praying to him is going to grant you immunity to all evils in life. So many questions to ask, so many doubts in my head but one day maybe I'll find the answer in the form of salvation, if I ever will be granted one.

On to a more light hearted topic, the days are getting colder in Dubai, winter is finally here and I can finally bring out the hoodies. I want to change up my fashion sense, it's becoming stale and I'm just not feeling the shit I wear nowadays. It's like I'm subscribed to the autumn/winter Pantone palette t-shirt collection for life. I follow so many effin Instagram pages for inspiration and somehow it doesn't match BUT what I can say is that my clothes are better than before. Gone are the days of skinny jeans (puke) and shorts. It's all about the baggy cargos now babyyyyyyyyy!! I guess changing your wardrobe is a work in progress, just like life. And sure I don't have that Commes Des money right now but I do look good on a calm day (heh).

I'm glad to be where I am right now. Life is good and I'm sorry to the people I've lost touch with but it's funny how you get in touch with yourself when you fall out of touch with others. I miss my home, my friends, good Kolkata food (Dubai food are you serious right now what the frog) and a few special people. One day I'll make it up to them and then it'll be worth it. Until then, I'll let the sun race me home.

[hearties-circus]

Cousin asleep, now I can cry

#vent #my eyes are so heavy and tired man... #i just wanna put my faith and trust in someone and not be wrong about it #of course ive many good friends and good people in my life but i usually dont get to interact with them as much as the others #and the others get more of my trust and they keep not deserving it #sorry this is just hitting kinda hard bc ive realised how many of my irl friends fucking suck recently #g-d i miss when i was 6 and happy and excitable and nothjng was wrong and everyone i cared about was just so good (at the time at least) #is it healthy to mourn your past self this much? i think i havent stopped mourning all year #i dont think i will stop ever tbh #my younger is completely gone. theres nothing left. not even a name #and yeah thats a good thing. i could never be happy going as i was going and i probably have a brighter future going for me now but.. #i do miss the simpler times where i could just trust and love and not worry about it #and the fact that im still in a simpler time.. that eventually ill have be a 'functioning adult' i just.. cant i just have more time please? #if any of my mutuals or friends have some shady shit theyre hiding they better tell me right the fuck now bc i cant do this anymore man #ask to tag

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Wishmaker

Goddamn it... 

It's bad enough Astruc tastelessly axed Lukanette, but now he just had to show up to give a sarcastic eulogy at the funeral.

Let's get into the fourteenth (chronologically the eighteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Wishmaker

Right out of the gate, we get a “Chloe bad” joke with her insulting Marinette for being poor or whatever as she hands out flyers for an upcoming career fair. Chloe doesn't have much of a role in the episode, but she will be important towards the end, trust me. We also get a funny “Marinette stares lovingly at Adrien” joke while she sees him, so it's good the writers are at least trying to get their strange habits out of their systems now instead of later.

While reading over the flyer in his room, Adrien ponders a possible career as he doesn't want to keep being a model.

(The episode came out in English first, so I'm just going to be using quotes instead of screenshots of subbed scenes for this review)

Plagg: Don't you wanna continue to model?

Adrien: I don't think so, Plagg. I'm doing it now because my father asked me to. But now I realize I don't know what I'd want to do. I've never asked myself that question.

This is a really interesting dilemma for Adrien. Unlike other episodes that just have him feel sad for entirely superfluous reasons like Ladybug turning him down or generally moping about his mom, it feels like something you can really understand. He genuinely isn't sure what he wants to do with his life because he's had everything chosen for him before. I also like the use of the English dub saying Adrien modeled because his father asked him to, as if he couldn't actually say no. I also like how Adrien is still starting to lose faith in Ladybug for giving out Miraculous to everyone, which makes even more sense after his view of her was shaken in the previous episode chronologically, “Rocketear”. I also like how Plagg suggests ideas for a career for Adrien, like the two of them opening up a cheese shop together, which shows how Plagg cares for Adrien and wants what's best for him, ultimately highlighting how healthy their relationship is. He's almost like a big brother who gives advice to Adrien, even if it isn't the most sound advice at times.

On the other hand, Marinette already knows what she wants to do with her life, but the Kwamis start to argue over what she actually means by it by saying they know what she wants to do, a painfully accurate metaphor for the writers dictating Marinette's actions no matter how inconsistent they are.

Pollen: What's a career, dear Guardian?

Marinette: Oh. Well, it's... your job! Something really important that you do and gives meaning to your life!

Roaar: Oh! So, your job is being the Guardian of the Miraculous!

Mullo: Of course not! It's being a student!

Xuppu: Not at all! It's making presents for Adrien!

Marinette:Well...

Longg: She said “something important”, like when she crafted the big doll house to hide the Miracle Box!

Wayzz: Or when she designed the alarm for this room! What a masterpiece!

Marinette: Sure, I love crafting but—

Ziggy: You guys don't get it! What gives meaning to her life is to be in love with Adrien, or Luka, that's her job!

Fluff: Luka's the one with the guitar, right?

Kaalki: Her real career is being Ladybug and carve her name in history by her glorious deeds, of course!

Of course, their bickering somehow makes Marinette realize she isn't sure what she wants to do in the future after all.

We then cut to a reality show hosted by TV personality, Alec Cataldi. He's generally an asshole to the people on the shows he hosts and takes pleasure in humiliating or just being a dick to them, making you wonder how he still gets work with that attitude. Basically, he's the Alec Baldwin of the Miraculous Ladybug universe. The current show he's hosting is one where he roasts people for their jobs, making Andre a target by pointing how counterproductive his “business” is.

Alec: Here's a perfect example: Andre, the Ice Cream Maker, the ice cream man that is never around! Let me remind you how this goes: Andre doesn't have a shop, no one knows where he is, it takes forever to find him, and he gets to pick a flavor of your ice cream! You've gotta be kidding, Andre! Give me one reason why I should bother to chase after you when I could get my choice of ice cream in any corner supermarket!

Andre: Well, people don't just come for ice cream when they find me. They come to share their love and experience of magical moments! A supermarket cannot do what I do! I am a creator of magical moments!

Alec: “Creator of magical moments?” You've gotta be kidding!

I'm pretty sure that's what a lot of people thought of Andre when they first saw “Glaciator”. The idea behind Andre is that he chooses ice cream for you representing something about yourself, so he gives Alec a scoop of lime to represent his sour exterior and chocolate cinnamon to represent the dreams he still has within. Alec flinches a little at the ice cream, presumably because of how terrible of a combination that is, and decides to go to commercial to think.

Marinette talks to Andre about what he does, and he explains he used to be an office worker, with the only highlight of his days being making ice cream for himself after work. It eventually inspired him to quit his job and start making ice cream for everyone. It's a nice backstory, and I think a lot of people watching who are struggling to think about their future can relate to this like with the earlier scene with Adrien. It's also a nice touch for the flashbacks to reveal Andre has served ice cream to some of France's most famous couples.

(Jean Coutau and Jean Marais)

(Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin)

(Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet)

Granted, I'm wondering how old Andre is to have even met some of these people given Jean Cocteau died in 1963, but seeing how Master Fu is 186, I'm guessing the Miraculous Ladybug universe just has really good healthcare. Either that, or the people in this universe take Jay Kordich's diet very seriously.

Andre gives some ice cream to Marinette, who is soon joined by her ex-boyfriend who she never loved according to the writers. Actually, judging from her face when Luka talks about the very first guitar he made, the writers made another 180 regarding Marinette's feelings for Luka.

Of course, because the show wants to remind the audience Alec still exists, he makes fun of Luka for taking two years to perfect the delicate craftsmanship it takes to sculpt any instrument when you can just download an app on your phone. Your inner boomer is showing, writers, even if you were born after the time period for that generation. Luka retorts with some vague philosophical line he's known for that's one of the reasons why people are so mixed on him as a character

Luka: Musical instruments fill the space and space fills the instruments. No phone in the world will ever be able to do that.

Despite it being incredibly confusing, it gets to Alec, causing him to run off in tears. Luka and Marinette continue to talk, but it turns out that's Adrien decided to sit down nearby because of course he did. Though, like the last scene, it's a pretty interesting one as the three discuss what they want to do with their lives. There's also a really nice visual of a blimp with an ad Adrien was in passing by while Adrien talks about his father dictating his life, a really nice symbol. Of course, the scene is somewhat ruined by Luka suddenly deciding to be an Adrienette shipper.

Luka: You two will eventually find what's already in front of you, but you can't hear it clearly. Just let the melody flow.

He's referring to their uncertainty of their futures, but earlier on, Luka wanted to help Marinette be honest with her feelings about Adrien, and even before that, Andre was saying that Marinette and Luka didn't have to be in love to enjoy his magic ice cream. It's here when I realized this episode is subtly trying to end any chances of Lukanette still happening with so many little details. Right when the two spend time together, that's when they decided to help Adrien who showed up for no reason, preventing them from potentially coming to terms with their feelings for each other or at the very least discuss how hard it is to be friends with their history. And things only get more frustrating towards the end, where you'd swear someone decided to smother Lukanette with a pillow in its sleep.

Back to Alec, he's roasting a wig salesman (does he even have permission to film any of these people?) for his job, but as soon as the salesman puts a wig on him, Alec immediately gives us his life story.

Alec: When I was a kid, I used to have long hair, but everyone made fun of me. That's why I shaved it all off. I've been making the wrong choices my whole life. My TV shows are nothing personal. I make fun of people when they make fun of me when I was a kid. (Starts to tear up) I should've been the person I always wanted to be, trying to change the world instead of mocking it! (Falls on his knees) I've wasted my life!

I didn't paraphrase this at all. This is seriously what happened. He goes from mocking everyone he meets, to slightly doubting himself after seeing an ice cream vendor and a young musician, and then he starts having an existential crisis about his tragic backstory. It's not a bad idea, but if there was some more buildup in previous episodes, I'd understand. But this goes from confusing to straight out insulting towards the end. I'll get to that later on.

Shadowmoth notices Alec's emotions and akumatizes him into Wishmaker through his microphone.

Wishmaker has a pretty cool design. The grey skin color coupled with the mostly black outfit really highlights Alec's broken heart, and he looks pretty sinister. His powers... leave a lot to be desired.  Like the name states, Wishmaker has the power to make everyone's childhood dreams come true, like this one guy's dream is to be Santa Claus, so he transforms into Saint Nick without any hitch. Wouldn't it make more sense if Wishmaker twisted the dreams of his victims like a genie and made them miserable while they ironically lived out their fantasies by twisting around their words? Instead, all of his “victims” seem pretty happy, which doesn't really do much to make him a threat in my opinion.

So the aforementioned Santa starts dropping presents like bombs near Marinette, Adrien, and Luka, and they're separated by a giant robot. Marinette quickly transforms into Ladybug, and gets Luka to safety, though as soon as she leaves, Luka goes to check on where he told Marinette to stay for safety, and doesn't see her there. Instead, he sees his deadbeat father (transformed into a crocodile) drowning and goes to save him.

Ladybug meets up with Cat Noir (who transformed off-screen) and the two easily incapacitate the robot before engaging Wishmaker, avoiding his blasts. Apparently, they'll get their secret identities revealed if they get hit, so Ladybug goes to get Luka to help out as Viperion while Cat Noir holds off Wishmaker. Ladybug goes to get Luka, leading to the funniest joke in the episode.

She gives Luka the Snake Miraculous and he transforms into Viperion, immediately activating his Second Chance. For newcomers, Second Chance allows the user to set a point in time when activating it and if something goes wrong, they can go back to that checkpoint in up to five minutes. Ladybug also summons her Lucky Charm, a stuffed dinosaur toy.

Back with Cat Noir, as he engages Wishmaker, the Akuma starts to tempt him with the idea of living out his childhood dream, because he genuinely doesn't remember his. As Shadowmoth orders Wishmaker to use his powers on Cat Noir, Ladybug and Viperion show up, but in the chaos of the fight, Ladybug gets hit by Wishmaker, revealing her childhood dream as the “Knitting Fairy”, and exposes her identity to Viperion, who uses Second Chance to undo the timeline.

In the new timeline, Cat Noir's vulnerability gets to him, so he willingly lets himself get his by Wishmaker, not only exposing his identity as Adrien, but tragically reveals his childhood dream, to be whatever his parents wanted him to be. I feel like this works a lot better than some of the other moments where Cat Noir defied orders or screwed around on the battlefield because it's clearly framed as a moment of weakness on his part, and it was naturally built up over the course of the episode. The reveal of Adrien's childhood dream is a real gut punch too, as it shows just how much Adrien's life has been controlled by his family.

In the third timeline, Viperon deflects Wishmaker's blast meant for Cat Noir and redirects it toward a man whose childhood dream was to become a giant stuffed dinosaur. The stuffed dinosaur in question goes to give Wishmaker a hug, restraining him long enough for Ladybug to steal for Cat Noir to cataclysm (It's a microphone, how hard is it to break???) before she de-evilizes the Akuma. Ladybug uses Miraculous Ladybug to force everyone to stop living out their childhood dreams, she gives Alec a Magical Charm, and Luka decides not to tell Ladybug he knows both her and Cat Noir's secret identities. Why did Ladybug expect Luka not to know her identity when the whole reason she recruited him was to make sure nobody else found out her identity?

Now, while it isn't outright said, it's hinted at that now that Luka knows Marinette is Ladybug and Adrien is Cat Noir, judging from his dejected look after finding out the latter, he may be giving up on all attempts at the idea of getting back together with Marinette, and may or may not start shipping the Love Square now, just like how Kagami decided to ship Adrienette in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. I'm not saying the idea of Luka knowing someone's identity is bad, but it feels like this only happened specifically to stop him from having feelings for Marinette because now he knows Adrien loves her alter ego, and vice versa. Maybe it'll be touched upon in a later episode, but this was just a dick move by the writers in terms of ending all chances of Lukanette like this in order to ensure the Love Square has absolutely no competition.

So the episode ends with Marinette and Adrien deciding to focus on their futures while Alec starts a new show where he helps people live out their childhood dreams, albeit dressed like Style Queen for some reason.

Eh, he still picked a pretty cool Akuma to dress up as in my opinion. A lot of people have viewed this ending as evidence Alec is a drag queen with how he dressed up, coupled with the fact that he said something that was very similar to famous drag queen RuPaul.

Alec: And now, we're gonna love one another, starting with everyone loving themselves! Because how are you gonna love other people if you don't love yourself?

Though Astruc, being Astruc, once again decided to be vague when asked about the subject on Twitter, though at least the subtext is better than when he said he didn't make Juleka and Rose girlfriends because of censors while making it seem like a noble act.

Overall, this was a really good episode, though there were some underlying issues that really kept me from actually liking it. For the most part, it had some good drama with the main character, a rare scene where Marinette didn't stammer around Adrien, a creative (albeit flawed) Akuma with some good action, and an interesting idea with Luka knowing everything about the Love Square now.

There are just two big problems that really got to me about this episode. Let's get the obvious one out of the way, Luka. Honestly, he really didn't need to be in the episode. Sure, he gave some sound advice to Marinette and Adrien about their careers, but it felt kind of strange to see someone their age talking to them about their future when Andre, someone who actually had experience struggling to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, was pushed to the side. And like I said earlier, I think the only reason Luka found out about Marinette and Adrien's identities was to discourage him from thinking about getting back together with Marinette. After all, now that he realizes how “made for each other” they are, he can't stand in the way of the Love Square.

The problem is that in the context of the episode, we don't really see what made him see things that way. At least in “Mr. Pigeon 72”, Kagami consistently viewed Marinette's attempts to get her and Adrien back together as a subconscious desire to be with Adrien. It was dumb with how she decided to go to Team Adrienette at the end of the episode, but it was something. I'm glad the episode didn't force in too many Love Square shenanigans, but I think more should have been done to contextualize Luka's feelings towards the reveal. I get the writers wanted to make sure Lukanette had no chance of coming back, but this just feels rushed.

And then there's Alec's redemption arc. While it's not a bad idea in concept, the problem is that it flies in the fact of a recurring theme this season, that being redemption. Because, here's the funny thing: Alec blatantly said he became an asshole TV personality because of his history of bullying, and decided to retaliate as a result, but he eventually saw the error of his ways and turned over a new leaf. For long time readers of this blog, I apologize for bringing this up yet again, but what exactly makes this different from everything Astruc said about Chloe? You know, when he said that you make your formative choices when you're fourteen? Just like how Alec decided to become a reality TV host making fun of people after a troubling experience from when he was a kid?

Let's say that I agree with Astruc's views about Chloe. How is Alec different from what Astruc's said about Chloe for almost two years at this point? What makes Chloe, someone who was the victim of a troubled childhood who never got help, an irredeemable monster while Alec, someone who also had a troubled childhood and had even more time to get help while never getting any, capable of change? I thought he Alec made a formative choice when he was young and stuck with it, just like how Chloe started to fully develop at the age of fourteen. I mean, Astruc, you yourself said that Chloe's troubled childhood “was no excuse to treat people like shit”, according to you.

I'm just saying, dude, if Chloe can't be redeemed because of the stuff you yourself said, then that shouldn't apply to Alec either. When you really think about it, it's almost like Astruc either made up a bunch of excuses to not redeem Chloe, or he's a massive hypocrite for going back on his word. You can't really justify this kind of hypocrisy relating to Alec's redemption when you remember just how much of a hardass Astruc was when explaining why redemption was impossible for Chloe.

This coupled with the treatment of Luka really drags this episode from really good to blatantly insulting to certain viewers. Then again, these two choices just got to me personally. I feel like if those two things weren't there, things could have made this episode a lot better for me personally. I can see why a lot of people in the fandom still like this episode, but I'm honestly not a fan of it.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #thomas astruc #thomas astruc salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #luka couffaine #viperion #chloe bourgeois #queen bee #queen b #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #hawk moth #shadowmoth #shadow moth #alec cataldi #wishmaker #plagg #roarr #mullo #xuppu #longg #wayzz #ziggy

[chifuyuzu]

leap of faith — sano manjiro x reader.

word count — 1.3k.

genre — fluff fluff fluff, i love sweet mikey.

contains — cursing, timeskip SPOILERS present, reader is gender neutral.

description — sano manjiro is in love with you, and he realizes how much he loves you at the ass crack of fuckin' dawn.

author's note — hey besties, this is my first published fic here, kinda short but mikey brain rot is heavy. i hope you enjoy this cute fic before i rip your hearts out with some angst in a few days :^) reblogs and likes are always appreciated! and please give me feedback in my inbox! hehe, enjoy.

“it’s late.”

you know. but you still wanted to hear the sound of his voice before bed.

“mm… i missed ya’, is that a crime?” your voice echos through the receiver, the sound of your duvet crinkling in the background as you shift in place. sano manjiro was a busy man. always has been, always will be. being the leader of a biker gang was never easy—let alone some “new age” criminal organization.

you didn’t understand why manjiro persisted to play this game of russian roulette with his life. but it was never your place to overstep, especially since this was his life. it was all he knew, all he understood. you’re not sure what he’s doing, or if he’s even allowed to talk on the phone at this hour, but you still wanted to hear him. just so you know he’s alive and well.

you hear him chuckle, the sound of his feet scurrying against whatever floor his sandals were clacking against. the background noise that accompanied him earlier has dissipated; you realized he probably went outside to hear you better.

“your crime is loving a fool like me way too much. don’t think you’re sane.” he’s right. you’re actually crazy for even pursuing him. there was a lot of push and shove in the beginning, both parties scared of being hurt and getting hurt. but you were always there, even when manjiro went through whatever darkness was eating at his soul.

“crazy for you.”

“corny.”

“you love me.”

a pause. eerie enough to send shivers down your spine. why wasn’t he responding? did something happen? did you smother him too much? is he regretting—

“marry me.”

… not what you were expecting. especially not over the phone.

“sano manjiro, did you just propose over the phone? what kind of shitty rom-com are we in?”

“is that a no?”

“... never said that.” you wanted to marry him. but you wanted him to put that lifestyle behind, for the sake of the family you might have in the future. kids, dogs, cats, etcetera. you wanted him to be in, one hundred percent. but you knew he was too deep into this world to run now—especially since he’s so well-known as the ‘invincible mikey.’ you still longed for a happy home with manjiro, and a normal life.

“maybe you’re right. it’s not my style to ask you this over the phone.”

“try again later. when you’re really ready.”

the gag is, he is ready.

manjiro hurries home, blond locks hidden underneath a thin, black hoodie. he’s shaking, like a pomeranian in the presence of fireworks. his hand meets the left side of his chest, back pressed up against the grey colored wall of your shared apartment as he slides down to sit on the floor. it was four in the morning, and manjiro was about to shit himself.

he gulps, eyes peering around for you, double checking that you were fast asleep before he makes a phone call. his fingers tapped the back of his iphone, impatiently waiting for the other caller to answer. though it was the crack of dawn, he still needed some moral support.

“mikey? fuck you callin’ for at this hour? haven’t heard from you in mo—”

“ken-chin. i’m proposing.”

a loud ‘flop’ rang through the receiver, accompanied by the bedsheets seemingly slipping underneath draken’s feet. it was a huge bomb to drop, especially when the duo has been separated for months on end. manjiro hears more shuffling, followed by a few curses. “you’re fucking lying. the one you’ve been one since—?”

“yeah. i’m crazy as hell. but i love them. head over heels. i’m a goddamn simp.”

“why the hell am i the first to know, man?”

“you’re m’best friend, even if i need to stay away from you. and, also… you’re not the first to know. i asked them already.”

“you WHAT? don’t fuckin’ tell me you did it some dumb way like over the pho— you did. you’re impulsive enough to do it like that, too.” regardless of how long it’s been, draken still knows and understands manjiro like nothing ever happened.

“yeah… not romantic. but i can’t see myself with anyone else. i trust no one else. but i… am…”

“scared? man, you’re the head of a criminal organization. ‘course you’re scared. you don’t want the love of your life… to get hurt…” his voice trails off and manjiro’s heart tenses even more. the memories of the past still felt fresh. all the people they lost in tokyo manji… could never be replaced. not in a million years.

but the living must live.

“i love y/n. never felt like this before. i’d quit everything. but i would have to make sure they’re safe and whatever future we have together is secure. i know i promised takemichi that i’d protect everyone and that future he worked so hard to save… but what about mine?”

manjiro really did sacrifice everything for his friends. being the type of person who carries everyone else’s burdens takes a toll on his mental. he felt selfish for wanting to leave it all behind. but maybe being selfish was beneficial once in a while.

“listen—”

“do you think i’m stupid?”

“mikey. you’re not stupid,” draken sighs, shuffling again in place. “you just want to love someone and be loved in return. nothin’ stupid about that. what is stupid though, is you proposing over the damn phone.”

he’s not wrong. it was a spur of the moment decision that could drastically change his life forever. but with you, he doesn’t care. as long as you’re his, forever.

“how do you think i should do it?”

“well. i guess, tell me some sappy shit. how do you feel about them, and whatnot.”

“i don’t think i could ever imagine me with anyone else. a lot of people have tried to grab my attention but i only have eyes for y/n. sometimes when shit gets real hard…” manjiro takes a deep sigh, fingers threading through his hair, tilting back the hood to let it fall onto his back. “i think of y/n and i remember that even in this shit world, someone is here for me. someone cares about me. they make me feel like i’m not alone anymore.

i have dreams ‘bout us, y’know? me and y/n… kids running around. a little mikey clone. pissin’ them off because we want little flags on our meals. going to the park and letting kids be kids. maybe i’ll teach ‘em at a dojo like gramps did for me and my siblings. maybe i’ll teach ‘em about bikes—with your help, of course.”

draken laughs, letting his friend continue his little speech as he gets comfortable in bed again. don’t think i’ve ever seen mikey like this, ever, draken muses.

“man, we can own a whole zoo if we wanted. chifuyu could hook us up, in secret, of course. still have to protect everyone,” manjiro is grinning from ear to ear, head resting against the wall. “i wanna grow old with them. honestly, i didn’t think i’d make it to my twenties. more so, i didn’t want to live past twenty-something. but now… things are different. wanna be old and gray. see grandkids terrorize our children. die together.”

the tension in manjiro’s chest has faded away, only left with warmth that only you could bring him. his free hand reaches into his pocket to fumble with a small box, snapping it open to reveal the engagement ring his grandfather handed down to him.

he wasn’t the marrying type. but for you, he was.

“that all? you sound good like that, man. make an exception and let us come to the wedding.”

manjiro wants that more than anything. his friends, you... all safe. all happy. but again, the fear creeps up. he doesn’t know what to do with himself if any of you get hurt.

“... how do i tell y/n that?”

“you already have.” your voice makes him jump, knocking the velvet box out of his fingers and onto the hardwood floor. his face pales, followed by a huge lump forming at his throat when he sees your figure emerge from your shared bedroom.

“i-uh… i thought you were a-asleep.” manjiro mumbles, earning a huge laugh from draken on the other side. he hears him say something along the lines of ‘my cue to leave. good luck. send me an invite.’

“i was waiting for you.” 

he’s sweating now, a small bead forming at the base of his neck. his phone is now at his side, the screen flashing from draken’s caller id to the lockscreen photo of you on your first date together, a few years back. your eyes zone into the box, though.

“i was going to do this… better. god, i fucked up, huh?”

you’re laughing now, rubbing your tired eyes before you join him near the wall, picking up the box. “what makes you think that, dummy?”

now he’s confused. you wanted him to ask when he was serious, but in his head, serious meant rose petals, candles, someone singing celine dion in the distance.

without a word, you slip the ring onto its appropriate finger, holding up to the small rays of sunlight that peaked through the window from the approaching sunrise. manjiro’s hands fly up to your face, holding his whole world in his hands. his eyes are shiny, on the brink of tears. you nudge your noses together, foreheads connecting tenderly. your hands hooked onto the hem of his hoodie, bringing his frame closer as you whisper a soft ‘yes.’

“yes?”

“yes, i’ll marry you.”

manjiro’s lips curl up into the silliest grin you’ve ever seen him sport, before he presses a soft kiss to your lips. now he’s kissing you quite desperately. as if he’s trying to make sure you’re real, that this isn’t a dream. you feel his words vibrate against your lips, “gonna make you so happy, i promise. i love you. i love you so, so much.”

“forevermore.”

“forever yours.”

#tokyo revengers x reader #mikey x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers imagines #mikey imagines #🌧 — cloudwrites. #bro i love mikey sm please

[softrozene]

Too Long

Anonymous requested: Hello, I'm a silent reader of you and I really like your works❤️💗! Can you please write about Doffy wherein he finally found his lost love and actually pregnant when she left him? I know that it looks like impossible considering how evil he is but I just really wanna know how it will goes. Thank you! and Take care. Don't over work yourself! ❤️💗 and sorry if my English is broken.

Your English is perfect <3 and I am so sorry for the long wait, here you go Lovely! I had fun with this since I love Doflamingo despite his evil ways XD

Doflamingo x Female Reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst- Doflamingo is probably out of character because I write him with emotions and not as evil lol (if you need another reference just basically imagine him as Klaus from the Originals lafdkafds)

Words: ~1400

First things first- There are three ways I imagine this going

1.       (the most likely way) Doflamingo goes a tad crazy, gives no cares, and simply takes the child after deeming his lost love long unworthy of going with them for not telling him she was pregnant unless he can find some use of her or she proves herself rather quickly

2.       He keeps tabs on Reader and the child constantly but that is it. Takes no action unless necessary

3.       Actually puts effort into coming back into their lives by forcing them to come back to Dressrosa where he can spoil them silly

This scenario is going to be a mix of 2 and 3 because I want fluff lol. Anyway, enjoy:

-

Doflamingo stares long and hard at the piece of paper before him. The pictures that accompany them make his blood boil with anger, but his heart yearns with interest as to what happened. What this is. Why it happened but more importantly… Why he did not know.

The woman in the picture is beautiful… Very beautiful and very pregnant. A shock to him. She will always hold a special place in his heart. She taught him how to trust on a certain level and yes, even in the end she did leave him, the end of their relationship was left on a good note. Even so, he can’t lie about not looking for her.

After the mutual breakup, he looked far and wide for her, wanting the presence of a person he could trust right by him. He would try to persuade her to come back but… He never found her. Until now that is.

So… Why is just now finding out she left him… When she was pregnant? Why is just now finding out he is a dad?

The piece of paper is just the island name of where she is residing. Not too far from Dressrosa but not too close either. It saddens him for a moment. Did she not trust him? After everything they have been through together- All the learning of loving each other, the trusting, did she really not deem him worthy?

Him the King of Dressrosa?

He would like to think that he would be a perfect dad- Nothing like his silly foolish father who stepped down from the royal life he could have had. No, he would give the child everything they could have ever asked for. The mother of his child wouldn’t need to lift a single finger. He would spoil them, protect them, do anything for them…

So why?

It is a question he wants an answer to, and he will get an answer to. No matter what. That is what he promises himself as he looks at the next photo- One of his former lover no longer pregnant but… With the child- A darling little girl that has his blonde locks and her mother’s eyes.

The anger simmers down as he decides he will bring them both home. He will try to because of that little hope he has in his heart for growing a genuine family- Nothing like the one he helped destroyed, it means everything to him the longer he stares at the two faces.

The brief reminder of Corazon… Pains him but it will not be like that. Corazon simply did not have faith in him. These two… He will show them that he has their best interest at heart.

-

Finding them, was rather harder than expected. They were at the island that was disclosed to him by someone who recognized her but… (Name) really was too good at blending in with this island. It was rather busy. Cute for it being a bigger place.

So many families too, Doflamingo notes. The thought slightly irks him. Five long years without her and five long years of missing out on the child they created. He has every right to being mad. He has every right to go on a rampage.

Just as he wonders if he should demand someone to show him where she is- He hears a gasp behind him. One too full of shock that it grabs his attention immediately. However, what he did not expect was to feel tiny arms wrap around his legs- The way Baby 5 and Buffalo used to.

He glances down to see the girl from the pictures staring up at him with a wide smile. Her eyes are so gentle and for a moment… Remind him of only innocence as she stares up with genuine curiosity and happiness.

She even speaks to him- And in that moment he already knows that she has him wrapped around her finger- He would fight and kill anyone who would look at her remotely wrong. Is this what it is like to be a dad?

“Hello! I think you’re my dad!”

A laugh comes from behind him again and this time his heart feels like it is stopping because he knows that laugh so well. It haunts his dreams because he loves it so much- It used to be the sound that he tried to coax out of her every day. It is (Name).

He turns and indeed when he sees her… Doflamingo realizes just how long it has been. Too long in his eyes but… She looks as perfect as the day he first saw her. Those (hair color) locks and stunning (eye color). She has not physically changed in the slightest yet… She is still the most stunning person to him. Her eyes look down to their daughter before going back up to meet his.

“I need to put her down for a nap. She had a busy day at the school. I suppose you want to talk then?”

How is she so calm about this? The rage wants to come out- He wants to lash out but… He also just wants to hear her out. He wants to hear her side to everything. That and the way the little girl is holding onto his leg sleepily.

It just makes him melt. He says nothing as he follows the woman to her house. The place is too small for his stature but… Perfect for (Name) and their lovely daughter. It takes just a few moments for (Name) to put the girl to sleep and come back out to join him.

When it is about to grow quiet, he immediately asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

(Name) knows what he means. She has a sad smile on her face now as she asks back, “Were you ready to be a father? It is not as simple as you would have thought… It… How do I say this gently? You are selfish. Okay… That came out harsh but… You are. You look out for yourself and pull your family in with you.”

The pretty face that he is in love with does very little to comfort him after those words. That is until she continues.

“I was going to reach out when I found I was pregnant. I thought you would have liked to know but then I remembered why I left. I wanted to find myself and I did. Then… Then she was born, and I realized what being a parent is. You- Make all these choices hoping it is what is best for them and that is simply what I did. I thought you would not want to be in our lives, so I said nothing. I did not want you to have to choose between your dream of being the King of Pirates or her because we both know what you would choose,” (Name) says her tone sad now.

Doflamingo’s anger is valid but… So is (Name)’s in this regard because she is right. He does not say so because he knows he could have both. He will prove he can have both but for now…

“How does she know I am her dad?”

(Name) smiles at this. She pulls out a picture of Doflamingo and herself from her pocket. It is a good photo too. One of them hugging each other. He remembers it because the family kept photo bombing all the rest.

“I told her. Everything about you. I could not lie to her about who her father was. How much he did love me and would have loved her, but I also could not lie to her about how big your goals are. Of course, she is a child, so she does not understand. All she knows is that you want to be a bigger King. She has dreamt of meeting you for a while now.”

These words. He can salvage this. He can unite them. He knows he can. So, he will. He will have both the family and his dreams as he desires.

“Let’s give her a proper meeting then when she wakes up… And (Name), it is good to see you. I hope I can manage to convince you that Dressrosa would be a brilliant place for her.”

The way (Name) stares at him. Yeah, he can convince her.

#my writing #doflamingo x reader #one piece x reader #donquixote doflamingo x reader #fanfiction #scenario #one piece fanfiction #one piece scenario #female reader #fluff

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #meta by me #ted lasso 2x8 #a lesbian watches ted lasso #cw: suicide mention #cw: alcohol abuse mention

[bi-bard]

I Stumbled in at the Wrong Time (Pt.4) - David Budd Imagine (Bodyguard)

Title: I Stumbled in at the Wrong Time (Pt. 4)

Pairing: David Budd X Reader

Other Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Requested: Nope

Word Count: 1,613 words

Warning(s): mentions of bombs, death, and violence

Summary: After losing Julia, (Y/n) was heartbroken at David's sudden silence. However, (Y/n) was more heartbroken at how the two of them reconnected.

Author's Note: This is the second to last part. The last part is going to be an epilogue more than anything.

-----------------------------------

I didn't see David after the day at the hospital. He was busy, I knew that. I also knew that he wasn't really my bodyguard, he was Julia's.

I still wish he was there.

He was obviously in pain. I was still in pain and all I wanted was to have someone there that could understand my pain.

I didn't leave my room in the safe house. They still wouldn't let me go home so I laid in a bed that wasn't mine and tried to grieve.

One day, I finally woke up with enough energy to get out of bed and get ready. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.

At first, I noticed the results of my crying. Tired eyes, messy hair, distinct parts of my skin that look like I had cried. It was awful.

Then, I could only see Julia. I could see every similarity I had to her. It was like whatever force was in power was taunting me. Reminding me that I had to cope with Julia being stolen from me.

"You did so much more than I could," I mumbled quietly, like a prayer to her. I leaned down, rinsing my face with water.

I was finishing up my process of showering, getting dressed, and my other things when there was an emergency broadcast on the news.

I watched for a moment before my breath stopped.

David. In the middle of a park. A bomb strapped to his chest. He looked panicked. He was yelling something but it didn't seem like anyone was even attempting to listen to him.

I jumped when the door opened. A bodyguard was standing there.

"We need to evacuate," he explained quickly.

I followed him until we got outside. I asked where we were going. Once I found out what direction he was going, I ran the opposite way. I wasn't sure why I thought that this was a good idea. I wasn't going to be of much help but I felt a need to be there.

I found the group there. The police and... the woman that I was assuming was David's ex-wife. I walked over, ignoring the officers trying to keep me away.

"You're Julia Montegomery's sibling," one of the officers said as I kind of shoved my way into the group. "You need to go."

"No," I replied simply.

"We have reason to believe that this man is behind your sister's death," she explained.

"Good thing I know better."

Blind faith was not something that I was used to but David and I had been through a shit ton together. In a matter of maybe weeks, I felt like we were connected on a different level than most.

I'm pretty sure they called it trauma bonding.

"David," I called.

"(Y/n)," he called back, confused. I nodded. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I shrugged. I didn't know. I needed to be though, I just knew it.

I turned to look at his ex. She seemed confused to see me.

"You're the one he was on the phone with," she mumbled. I thought she was going to be angry with me. I nodded. "You really helped him that night... I'm sorry about your sister."

I nodded again, not sure how to respond.

The rest of the experience was a blur.

David led the entire bomb squad out of the park, down the road, and to an alleyway that I didn't recognize. He knelt on the ground, holding his arms out. He was talking about something, something to do with my sister's death but I didn't understand a word of it.

The people were talking about how best to defuse the bomb, the danger of someone being there to do it, or the risk of David doing it on his own when he didn't know.

I was too worried to care about my own safety. I grabbed their camera and the kit, walking it over to where David was.

"(Y/n), get out of here," David snapped quietly.

"Shut up," I mumbled. I turned to the police. "Tell me how I need to move this thing!"

"This is so stupid," David said.

"I'm not defusing it," I replied. "I'm just trying to speed up the process before they let you die."

"I didn't choose to do this... I didn't- I didn't kill Julia."

"I know," I looked him in the eye as I laid out the kit they had. I moved the camera however they told me.

When I moved back, I stayed next to the camera. I didn't want to leave David during this time. I couldn't. I physically couldn't pick my legs up to walk away from him.

"How many times are we going to be connected by an explosive," I asked.

David had just taped the weight down on the dead man's switch. He looked at me for a moment as he stretched his cramping hand.

"I hope this is the last time," he replied. I grinned a little. "Coffee would be better."

"Are you making a joke right now?"

"Coping, sorry," David muttered before looking to the group of people for the next explanation.

He was just finishing up the process when he looked at me again. I picked my head up a little bit, letting him know that I was here to help.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. I furrowed my eyebrows.

He finished the process, took off the vest, and then ran. He jumped over the half-wall on the other side of him.

"David, no," I yelled, going to look over the wall's edge.

A cop grabbed me, leading me away from the scene before I could even look for him.

After that, I didn't hear anything. I watched the news as much as I could but no one had any new information. The cops wouldn't tell me anything, despite keeping me in their main office for an extended period of time.

I was finally led to the safe house hours later.

They wanted to move me because David was still considered dangerous. I held onto my blind faith, refusing to go anywhere.

"I have guards and he can't scale a building," I explained. "I'm fine here. I'm safe."

I shut the door in everyone's face. I was not going to spend my life jumping from safe house to safe house. I wanted to go home but I didn't get everything I wanted.

It was the next day maybe when I heard about the arrests and the developments in the case.

"Sir," I asked the bodyguard outside my door as he hung up his phone.

"Mr. Budd has been proven innocent," he confirmed. I smiled widely. It was the happiest I had felt in weeks.

"I wanna meet with him," I said quickly, going back into my room to get dressed and cleaned up.

I was sitting at the counter of a small cafe, my obnoxiously sweet coffee sitting in front of me. I would drink it but it was too hot and I was honestly too nervous.

I looked at the door as David walked in and started walking over to me.

I stood up, taking in his appearance. Tired eyes, bruises and cuts on his face, and hair that was an absolute disaster. He seemed overwhelmed seeing me.

I grinned, tears in my eyes.

"Thank you for trusting-"

I hugged him tightly. He stopped talking, clearly not expecting the hug. I was usually good with boundaries... well I thought I was. I felt David slowly hug me back.

"Thank you for trusting me," he mumbled into my ear.

"It was really easy," I said quietly, chuckling through the tears building up in my eyes. I slowly stepped back, "Sorry."

"It's okay," he nodded.

We sat down at the counter after David had gotten a drink. We were talking about everything. What happened on the train, what happened to Julia, the fact that he was just almost named a terrorist. All of it.

"It's strange to think about," I said. "We are only in each others' lives because of tragedy."

"We can help each other," David suggested. "Heal together."

"'Together,'" I asked.

The idea seemed sweet at first glance but it didn't sit right in my stomach. Something told me that doing this wasn't going to be a good idea. Linking our progress wasn't going to be good for either one of us.

"David-"

I was caught off guard by David leaning over and kissing me. It was soft, nervous. I almost got lost in the moment before I realized what I wanted to say. I put a hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly.

"David," I said softly as I pulled away. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. "I'm sorry."

I leaned back completely.

"I... I don't think this is healthy," I explained. "I want to be with you, I do... more than anything. But neither one of us is okay. Not right now. I think going forward now would be good for us."

David slowly started nodding, leaning back, away from my hand.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, no, I understand," he replied.

There was a moment of silence.

"Maybe one day," he asked quietly.

"Maybe," I replied, grinning at him.

Soon after, we went our separate ways. I tried to hide any of my tears as I was led back to the safe house. I instantly started packing my bags. I was going home as soon as possible to pursue normal life... with the addition of much-needed therapy and professional help.

I had stumbled into David's life at exactly the wrong time... and nothing broke my heart more.

-----------------------------------

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