#i just wish it was set up. that it didn't just come from nowhere. that the show was good

[rhythmantics]

the zoey that lives in my head was the kid of a park ranger from BC who used to let her tag along all the time, wrestling bears and roughing it animal-style, until she let slip to her classmates that she and her dad resorted to eating grubs when they got lost one summer. It being a small and conservative town, they never let Zoey the Bug Eater live it down. capitalizing on her love of indie music and vintage clothing (and her existing skill with sewing, which she learned from her dad), she decided to totally re-invent herself when she auditioned for the show. pretending to be your average hipster girl from Vancouver, she is desperate to make friends, and certain that no one will like her if they know she knows 20 ways to skin a deer. but her survivalist instincts lurk just beneath the surface...

#td zoey #total drama #total drama revenge of the island #i just wish it was set up. that it didn't just come from nowhere. that the show was good #i have hcs like this for all the roti cast -sob emoji- #can you imagine the hijinks. the antics. zoey desperately trying to pretend that she's a girly girl who's never even touched a tent before #desperately trying to figure out whether she should act grossed out by something by seeing what anne maria/dakota think

[gyuwoncheol]

Slowly; All At Once

Pair: Mingyu x f!reader

Genre: fluff, best friends to lovers with Mingyu, boyfriend material!Mingyu, slight angst.

Summary: Kim Mingyu fell in love with you slowly, but you fell in love with him all at once.

Warnings: short hair Mingyu (yes this deserves a warning. He looks too good), rowdy house party setting, mentions of alcohol, angst (but not with Mingyu), mentions/allusions to a panic attack/sensory overload, kissing, fluff because mingyu is so sweet and protective 😩 Half proofread.

WC: 5k

Author's Note: listen, short hair Mingyu is SO boyfriend coded okay, it just does things to me.

“Gyu?” You spoke as loudly as you could.

“What’s up?” Your best friend answered through a yawn and you would’ve regretted disturbing him so late in the night but you really needed him now.

“Gyu, i’m so sorry..”

Mingyu sat up from his position in bed, the drowsiness in him suddenly gone at the sound of your voice trembling. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his senses heightened, suddenly now hearing the loud music in your background.

“Could.. if you’re free, c-could you come get me?”  

Mingyu was already slipping his shirt on and turning off his tv right after you asked. “Where are you? Are you okay? Are you in danger?” He quizzed, rushing down the stairs to grab his car keys and the hoodie hanging off the hooks.

“I’m at Jamie’s house. So many people, I jus’ wan’go home,” you slurred, stumbling into a corner of the house party you were at.

You could hear the sound of his engine rumbling to a start and somehow, that made you breathe a little easier. That was the thing about your best friend, when you needed him, he would be there, any time, any day, no questions asked. “Ok hang tight. I’ll be there.”

The line went dead as you cowered a little more to the corner of the house party you were at. The more the crowd grew, the more out of place you felt. Sure, most faces were familiar to you as they were the same ones that walked around your school building but no one was really close enough to you. Jamie, herself, was nowhere to be found. You weren't a stranger to house parties, you actually enjoyed them but this one really made you feel like you didn't belong. The crowd was quite rowdy, noise was obnoxiously loud, people were shoving drinks to you left and right, frat boys— both those senior and junior to you— were hitting on you, and, well, the sight of your ex-boyfriend's tongue down your ex-roommate's throat just wasn't exactly what you expected to see tonight. 

You wished you had stayed home instead or spent your Friday night with your best friend watching Shark Tank episodes and talking about all the inventions you both could make and would definitely get invested on. But no, you had begged off from Mingyu this one time, telling him that you wanted to let loose a little bit and hang with some of your girl friends.

The night started fine, you and the girls having cocktails after dinner at a bar nearby, until one of them had all but dragged you guys to the house party a common friend was throwing. What you didn't know was all their boyfriends had already been there, eventually leaving you alone as soon you all walked in the doors. 

You wanted to get out of there but as you looked at the volume of people in front of you, you were sure you wouldn't be able to push through them without getting pushed around. You felt trapped, your breaths becoming shorter whilst you tried to calm your heart. You were in need of air and of water real bad. 

"Hello?" you picked up your phone at first ring.

It was Mingyu. "Where are you?" 

"I-i'm by the end of the hall towards the kitchen at the back." 

Mingyu grimaced at the mixed smell of alcohol, cigarettes, sweat and weed in the place, not to mention the huge crowd that the party had gathered. He spotted numerous acquaintances and friends who all excitedly greeted him, offering him shots and beers but he ignored all of them, brain laser focused at finding you. It took him about five minutes before he reached the hall you were in and immediately spotted you thanks to his height which allowed him a “bird’s eye view.”

"Y/N," you felt a towering presence stumble in front of your crouched position, but was immediately comforted at the owner of the voice. It’s a really good thing you knew his voice well because you were still getting used to his new and much shorter haircut.

"Gyu!" You sighed in relief, hands immediately gripping his forearm as you steadied yourself against him. He kept a protective hand on your waist, caging you in between him and the corner to shield you from the crowd. He noticed the natural blush on your cheeks from the alcohol and the slightly far away look in your eyes. He could tell you weren’t exactly drunk, but he could also read the fear and sadness in them. He gave you a little bit more time to steady your breathing and comfort yourself in his presence, whispering "it's okay's" and "you're alright, I'm here." 

"Gyu, I'm dizzy," you declared. You weren't drunk, just slightly tipsy at most, it was the stuffiness in the room that had you wanting air.

Mingyu glanced back at the amount of people in the hall, mentally mapping the fastest way out to the closest door, before turning back to you. "Y/n,” he cupped your cheek to guide your eyes to his, "We'll make our way out, okay? Hold on to me?" He laid out his large hand for you to take and you gripped it like a vice as you gave him a small nod. 

There are many reasons to be thankful for Mingyu's height and build, and tonight, as he pushed through the crowds with one hand tightly intertwined with yours, was one of them. You were only but a few steps away from the door when your face collided with Mingyu's back. Someone had blocked his way and you were too slow to stop yourself when he did.

"heeey leaving so soon?!" A very familiar but very drunk voice slurred. It was Jung, your asshole of an ex-boyfriend. "You just got here,bro." 

"Not here to party. Just—" 

"Oh come on, Mingyu! At least take a shot!" 

"Yeah!!" another party goer whom you recognize to be from the same frat as Jung cheered on, "In fact why don't you and y/n take a shot together!" Two shot glasses filled to the brim with tequila were suddenly raised at you both. You made a face, hiding yourself behind your best friend’s broad back, hoping it would be enough to make you disappear.

"Y/n!" Jung sang-song in a way that had Mingyu gripping your hands even tighter, "Why don't you take a shot for me, baby? It's still too early to call it a—"

"Don't touch her." Mingyu growled at your ex who was attempting to bypass him and snake an arm around your waist, "Let’s go, y/n" Mingyu pulled at you, desperately hoping to just get the both of you out of there.

As you stumbled past your ex, you yelped when you felt his hand pull on your free wrist, almost yanking you away from Mingyu's hold. "Cmon, baby. Just one more shot. Like old times." A disgusting smirk was plastered on Jung's face, one you wanted to wipe off with a punch.

“I said. Don’t. Touch. Her.” Mingyu repeated louder and firmer this time, pulling your caught wrist and now purposely standing in full height to tower over your drunken ex.

“Gyu, let’s go,” you whisper, noticing that the exchange between both boys have suddenly gained the crowd’s attention.

“Oh come on Mingyu, it’s just a shot!” One of the other guys pushed.

With a roll of his eyes, Mingyu took the shot glass and downed the liquor easily. But it wasn’t until he took the second shot of tequila— supposedly yours— and poured it down his throat that the crowd erupted in cheers. “Happy?” Mingyu sneered at Jung, “now, let us go.” 

“Still her savior, huh?” Your ex called out, making Mingyu freeze in his tracks as he tried to navigate through the crowd, “you still the best friend? Or are you finally the boyfriend now?” 

You felt your breath get caught in your throat at what you just heard. But nothing could have prepared you for the next thing that tumbled out of your best friend’s mouth. 

“So what if I was?” Mingyu looked back at your ex bitterly, eyes filled with anger, “At least I know I’d treat her right.”

You had no chance to see the sour, defeated face Jung sported, but the crowd’s ‘oooh’s’ were enough to let you know that Mingyu definitely had the last laugh in that exchange. Everyone had even made space for you both to successfully exit, not wanting to mess with the 6 foot 2 man. 

Mingyu watched you carefully as you stabilized your breathing, the fresh air paired with the water he had just given you was slowly erasing the dizziness you felt earlier. He had his hands in his pockets while you looked up at him, your back leaning on his car, and a thick silence in the air. You wanted to say something, you wanted to say a lot of things actually, but didn’t know how to start. 

“Here, put this on,” Mingyu said softly, grabbing his hoodie from the back seat and pulling it over your shivering frame since your dress did little to protect you from the cold. You hummed in satisfaction, the warmth of the cotton shielding your exposed skin and the smell of him grounding you even more. 

“Thank you, Gyu. For saving me. And for taking that shot.” You squeaked, looking down at the ground, wanting to say many other things but it’s all you could put together for now. 

Mingyu’s mind however, wandered some place else. Like how you were still so beautiful right now? Looking so tiny in his hoodie, cheeks flushed and your makeup a bit smeared. To him, you were still the prettiest thing his eyes had seen. God he just wanted to kiss you. If only you were in your right mind, no alcohol in your system and not reeling back from what could’ve been a panic attack. And maybe, if only it didn’t ruin the friendship. 

‘I’d die for you,’ is what Mingyu would’ve wanted to say. “Hey, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it… as long as you’re okay. I mean… you are okay, right?” 

He stood closely in front of you, watching intently as you tried to form words but your growing silence did nothing to quell his worries. 

“Y/n,” your best friend’s voice firm, “did something happen back there? Are you hurt? You think your drink got spiked? Did someone harra—“

“No, no!” You confirmed, sensing the agitation in his voice, “nothing happened to me. Was just really overwhelmed with the crowd… the boys were annoying, the girls left me, and I… i didn’t even know Jung was dating Cass now.”

Ah, there it is, Mingyu thought. It always has something to do with your stupid ex.

“Cass? Your ex roommate, Cass?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Dating or not, they were definitely making out,” Mingyu could hear both the pain and disgust in your voice, “i just don’t get it.” Yeah, neither does Mingyu, why were you still so hung up on this— 

“I’m over him, you know?” 

“What?” Mingyu looked at you so quickly, he might’ve gotten a whiplash 

“I’m over him.” You confirmed and Mingyu would be lying if he said he didn’t want to just jump in joy right there and then. But your face still looked sour, angry even, like you had just been forced to chew on a whole lemon. “I realise now I was such an idiot for even loving him. But Cass? Really? My ex-roommate? I don’t know.. I know we’ve broken up months ago but it just feels weird. She knew how much he hurt me.. she even wanted to, and I quote, ‘stab him in the gym,’ but now she’s practically dry humping him in the middle of the worst house party known to man?!” You frustrated, your voice reaching a higher pitch than you had expected only to fall down to a very quiet whisper, “i just… I can’t help but feel betrayed.”

Mingyu noticed a lone tear roll down your cheek, the back of your hand immediately wiping it away. He knew how close you were to Cass, he still remembers how you cried to him when she suddenly cut off communication with you and moved out of your apartment. For the longest time, you had thought you did something wrong and had beaten yourself up over it. But now it all just made sense. 

Your best friend pulled you in for an embrace, mumbling about how you deserve better and how he’s sorry this happened to you.

“God,” you scoffed, “i’m sorry, i’m such a loser… everything about tonight just makes me feel so… alone.” 

“Hey now!” Mingyu pulled back harshly, holding you firmly by the shoulders, an arms length distance between you both. “I take offense to that. I’m literally right here, you know.” 

“Exactly. When you really could’ve been sleeping peacefully, or maybe even be on a date with some pretty girl. Instead you’re here, rescuing your pathetic excuse of a best friend.”

“Well.. you know what?” Mingyu challenged, pulling you in again into his arms for a warm hug, “there’s nowhere else i’d rather be. Now let’s get you home, yeah?” He assured instead, opening the door to the passenger seat of his car. You slumped into the seat and Mingyu went as far as strapping your seat belt for you, your lips just mere centimeters away from his. He stopped to look at you, eyes scanning yours before dropping to your lips momentarily and then back to your eyes again. You could feel the tension in the air and you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until he finally moved away and closed the door gently. 

Mingyu couldn’t help but notice a few tears escaping you as you looked out the car window, lone tears slowly falling on your cheek. You couldn’t really shake the idea from your brain of your roommate and your ex getting together, the betrayal just squeezing your heart in pain. Maybe the alcohol also just heightened your sensitivity too. When the car stopped at a red light, a gentle squeeze on your left hand had you looking up to your best friend, soft eyes matching yours as he flashed you a lopsided smile. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. You knew his action was that of comfort, as if to tell you you weren’t alone. 

Mingyu kept his hand tightly on yours throughout the ride, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand and that small action really helped keep the sad thoughts away. It wasn’t until you reached the exit of the freeway when you noticed Mingyu suddenly take a left turn. 

“Where are we going?” You squeaked

“Mine,” Mingyu confirmed, “is that ok? I just don’t wanna leave you alone for now, and i don’t think the sight of Cass’s empty room is something you’re ready to see either.”

You pondered on his suggestion quickly and knew it made sense. If anything, your best friend’s comforting presence is exactly what you needed right now.

The moment you got to his place, everything was like clockwork. He let you shower and freshen up, then handed you one of his large shirts and one of your old shorts you kept at his place for sleepover nights like these. 

A bottle of water was left by the bathroom door when you had finished. Drink this all before you go back down, Mingyu had written in a note and you cooed at the thoughtfulness of your best friend.  As you got to changing, you couldn’t help but notice just how much comfort his place brought you. His bedroom— and the rest of the apartment— was littered with photos of the both of you through the years. Your favorite conditioner was in his bathroom. He had a little basket in his closet that had things for you— hair brush, your favorite makeup remover, a few of your skin care items (which he bought himself), some old clothes, and even sanitary pads. You smiled at the sight of the little disney nightlight he had bought especially for you last year because even though he liked his lights off when he sleeps, he knew you hated the dark. You knew he kept some of your favorite snacks in his pantry, and he always had a pint of your favorite ice cream in his freezer. You were grinning by the time you had thought of all these things. You were feeling way too giddy and and then it hit you, those are butterflies you feel in your stomach. You felt like a tidal wave just hit you, your brain suddenly replaying every encounter with Mingyu and the longer it went on, the more you felt your heart being squeezed. You’re reminded how he didn’t even hesitate to pick you up tonight, or take that shot for you, or how he might’ve just thrown a punch at Jung if he so much laid another finger on you. You remember the tension in the car when your lips were inches apart. Yup, definitely butterflies. You simultaneously cursed yourself for not seeing it sooner. For not feeling it sooner. Do best friends really go this far? Could Kim Mingyu be in love with you? Better yet, did you just fall in love with him? There’s no way. Right? Mingyu was simply a really nice guy, and he would be especially kind to you, his best friend, and you are just very, very appreciative of it.

Yeah, just best friends.

That’s all.

So why do you suddenly want it to be more? 

Mingyu, on the other hand, was a ball of nerves in his living room. The events of tonight made him feel like he might not be able to hold back his feelings any longer. Seeing you tonight, your helpless self in such a huge crowd of people and then silently crying in the car just awakened something in him, like a very strong urge to protect you and embrace you in so much love that you won't ever remember the feeling of being hurt. He loves you very much, for quite some time now actually, and not just in the best friend kind anymore, he knows that much. But he can't quite figure out when it happened. There was no specific moment or grand gesture that made him think "i'm in love with my best friend." Your friendship certainly began platonic, no hidden intentions or attraction. It started when both your chaotic selves ended up paired for a group work in freshman year and you just haven't been separated since then. Over time, he's unconsciously made more space for you in his heart. What started as him giving you food every now and then so you could test his culinary experiments eventually turned into packed meals every Tuesdays and Thursdays when your classes stretched until 8 in the evening. He began omitting mustard in the dishes he cooks for you because of your allergy, even though he personally loves it. He once helped you do groceries and noticed you liked to buy your juices and milks in large cartons, and so he eventually scheduled his grocery days the same as yours so you wouldn't have to carry everything by yourself. You brought out the best in him. He witnessed your thoughtfulness and kindness and that made him want to be a better person for himself. One day, when he cracked a lame joke, he realised nothing sounds sweeter than your laugh. Mingyu always listened to you, even when you spoke nonsense most times. Your crazy ideas were something he questioned a lot before but now it's what makes him laugh the most. Kim Mingyu fell in love with you slowly, he never stopped himself from it because he's learned it was simply impossible. The joy you brought to his life was unexplainable. So he just let it happen, but he'd never tell you that, not when it could mean losing the single most important person in his life. But tonight, it seemed his heart was bursting at the seams and he wasn't so sure how long he could control his mouth from vomiting the words. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have you sleep over tonight. 

"Gyu? you good?" you asked, sitting beside him and getting under the same throw he had placed over him. He looked so soft and cuddly in his dark gray sweatshirt he changed into. God, he looked every bit of boyfriend right now.

"Huh?" 

"You were spaced out," you giggled

"Oh. Yeah, i'm ok, just waiting for you… Was the shower ok? Did you drink your water?" 

You nodded and pointed to the empty water bottle you had placed on the coffee table in front of you, "I'm alright, Gyu. Tired but feeling much better." You punctuated your words with a small thank you and a kiss on his cheek and Mingyu tensed. The scent of your shampoo washed over him and even though it was only a few seconds, it's like he could still feel your lips on his cheek. You saw his eyes grow wide and his shoulders slightly square up but whatever it was, he chose to stay silent. 

"okay!" he announced, trying to break the awkwardness he was feeling. "movie?" 

"about that... could we... maybe talk first?" 

An ice bucket might as well have been thrown on top of Mingyu's head, either that or have the ground open up to swallow him whole. He seriously might not keep his feelings at bay this time around. "uhhh... a-about what?"

"About what happened in the party." 

"Oh," your best friend relaxed a little, "I thought you were fine? You said no one hurt you right? I mean, of course aside from seeing Cass and—" 

"Gyu," you interrupted him with a hand on his forearm, turning to the side so you could face him, "I don't mean that."

"Then what?" 

"About what you said to Jung," your voice barely above a whisper, "about being my boyfriend..." 

At that very moment, the both of you paused, the same thought in your brains: will my heart actually start beating out my chest?

"Oh. What about it?" Mingyu played it off and you gulped hard, maybe you shouldn't have brought it up. You normally thought you could see right through your best friend, but this time, he seemed so nonchalant about it all and if you were being honest, it broke your heart a little. 

The tanned boy waited for your answer, eyes holding a glint of fear as he watched you look at everything else in the room except his gaze, "I just... I don't know. You said if you were my boyfriend, then you'd be treating me right." 

"I would." Mingyu responded a little too fast, making your eyes find his immediately. He cursed himself for the lack of self control, now literally biting his tongue to stop from spilling the rest of his feelings.

"Then am I crazy for thinking that... that all you've done tonight was treat me right?" 

You watched your best friend swallow hard, eyes boring into your soul. You waited in bated breath for a response but Mingyu opened his mouth only to close it, and then open again. Mingyu steels himself, genuinely wanting to run away from the conversation. If he spoke any further, he just knows he'd lose his best friend and get his heart broken, so he chooses to point out the obvious instead. "Well, you are my best friend."

"is that all you want me to be?" There it goes. The million dollar question. It's now or never, Kim Mingyu, he hears the subconscious in his brain. He could feel the sweat on his back, his hands fidgeting under the throw.  Mingyu was not fond of how straightforward you were being. It's like you were ready to catch him red-handed and then tell him to start acting like a bestfriend instead of some love-sick puppy, or worse, stay away from you altogether. This is it. The end of a friendship he so carefully protected even if it meant it will never be more. 

"What do you mean?" He croaked, his throat feeling drier more than ever. Oh, if only Mingyu knew just how nervous you were too. 

You closed your eyes shut, inhaling sharply to muster up some confidence as you carefully place your heart on your sleeve.

“Because I look at your place and your life, and though I see a lot of you in it, I see me too. Pictures of us, my favorite food always in your kitchen, my number in your speed dial. I think about the past and all that you've done for me, laughing at the stupid shapes I think the clouds are forming, listening to me vent about all my frustrations, holding me when i cry about a broken heart, you’re there. You're always where I am. And it might have taken me long to realize this, but maybe you do love me more than just your bestfriend. And I just I hope i'm not too late to tell you that when I think about all of it, it hits me like a truck that I'm in love with you too."

If Mingyu was deaf, then everything you just said is probably the one thing that would help him regain his hearing. Every single word was loud and clear, your last sentence obnoxiously ringing in his ears, yet all this six foot something man could reply was an awkward “huh?”

You blinked hard at his dumbfounded expression, the back of your eyes immediately stinging with tears. Your efforts of confessing dying together with your heart. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks in embarrassment, hands flying to cover your face because wow, you seriously just misread the whole thing. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I- i must’ve misread. For—forget I said anything.” You mumbled, your voice shaking towards the end.

“No, no!” Mingyu panicked, his large hands prying yours away from your face and then cupping your cheeks, “i’m sorry. I love you. I heard you, loud and clear. And I love you, more than just a best friend. I’m so in love with you, have been for a while now.” He inched closer to you, the shyest smile on his face.

His eyes glanced at your lips before looking back at you again, asking softly, “Can I?”

With a small nod, he slotted his lips to yours and you immediately hummed in relief. Your eyes fluttering close with how gentle he was. His lips were slightly chapped but they were so pillowy against yours.

“I love you,” Mingyu mumbled in between a kiss, not being able to contain the smile that was breaking on his face. He swore he saw fireworks explode, his stomach churning in the best way possible.

“I love you too,” you responded as you broke apart for air. Both your eyes were twinkling, pure happiness just flowing through your veins.

He couldn’t quite believe it. Just moments ago, he was certain he’d end the night without a best friend. “Could you say that again?” He asked shyly, and if you weren’t just so whipped for the man, you wouldn’t have indulged him.

You climbed onto his lap, grinning as you placed your hands by the sides of his face. “I love you, Kim Mingyu. I’m so in love with you,” you obliged, peppering kisses on his cheeks and nose and lips.

Mingyu let out that tiny giggle he does when he’s really happy, the crinkles in his eyes appearing and his canines showing. “I love you,” you said one more time before properly latching onto his lips again. This time, your kiss was slightly deeper. He continued to mumble i love you’s to you in between before finally slipping his tongue into your mouth. Mingyu let out a low hum of sayisfaction when he felt you run your fingers through his short hair. His large hand stayed firm on the small of your back while the other was on your neck, making sure you couldn’t pull away too far or too fast, not that he should worry, the warmth of his body alone was already drawing you impossibly closer to him.

You rested your forehead on his when you broke apart the second time, matching grins on your faces as your eyes looked deeply at each other.

“You scared me, you know?” You scowled out of nowhere, your fist hitting his chest playfully.

“What?”

“I thought I really misread. Thought you didn’t actually love me.” The pout that appeared on your face was one Mingyu had seen before, but this time around, it pulled at his heartstrings even harder.

“Well I thought you saw right through me and didn’t want any of it. Thought you wanted to stop being best friends even.”

You raised a brow at him, tilting your head to the side slightly, “well now you’re not just my best friend, you’re also my boyfriend.”

The squeal that came out of Mingyu’s mouth was definitely one you wouldn’t expect from someone as large as him, but you loved it nonetheless, even though he paired it with a bone crushing hug that had your face uncomfortably smushed on his hard chest.

“G-gyu… c-can’t br-breathe.”

“Oh sorry,” he pulled back, still giggling from the thought of being called your boyfriend. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this happy before and it makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter even harder.

You felt soft lips on your forehead, another “I love you” rolling past Mingyu’s mouth.

You responded back with the same three words, allowing yourself to look into his eyes intently, marking this important moment in your brain. You’ve heard of best friends falling in love and then falling out of love, the friendship sinking together with it. You knew there was no certainty that you and Mingyu wouldn’t meet that same fate, and it scared you for sure. But there was something about being in your best friend-now-boyfriend’s arms that just felt right. Like you were home. And somehow, that was more than enough to take away all the fears. It took a while, but you’ve never been more sure of something than you are now of loving Mingyu.

“So… we’re really doing this?” Mingyu asked as he tucked your hair behind your ear. You looked beautiful with the light pink that dusted your cheeks and the deeper crimson on your slightly swollen lips.

“As long as it’s with you.”

#svt #seventeen #svthub #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #svt imagine #seventeen imagine #svt fic #seventeen fic #svt one shot #seventeen one shot #mingyu #mingyu fic #mingyu fluff #mingyu one shot #mingyu imagine #kim mingyu #paula writes ✨ #Slowly; All At Once

[homunculus-argument]

I think it's always supremely funny when something has a character who's distinctly more Genre than everyone else in the setting - like everyone else is living in the kind of "everyone shits themselves when they die" kind of miserably drab Game of Thrones kind of low fantasy setting but there's just this one fucking guy on an epic high fantasy quest because he saw a bird do something weird and This Was An Omen That He Must Embark On This Journey, while everyone else is like "dude why do you talk like that."

Even better if it isn't even the same genre as everyone else. Just living in their own world that's clearly internally consistent but incomprehensible to anyone else. Funnier yet, when once it has been firmly established that this dude just lives like this, it's dramatically revealed that there's two of them, literally just one other person who's exactly like this, too.

Like the story is just some normal family slice of life comedy, except one of the dads is just Like That. And then some completely bat shit insane weirdo shows up out of nowhere trying to fight this guy, and the dad just responds in the exact same style of dramatic right back, with no hesitation. Nobody but his wife has any idea what the hell is going on, and she wishes it was not going on. Their kids ask their dad what the hell that was about, who is this guy.

And he just goes "Forgive me for keeping this from you. I can see now that my attempts to keep the shadows of my past a secret from you, in order to protect you, have been foolish. I should have prepared you for this day. The consequences of the failures of my youth. You see, I was not always the man that you know now as your father."

(His wife chimes in from the other room, saying "don't listen to him, kids. He's literally always been like that.")

And this other weird guy barges in like "Brace yourself, villain! I have come for my vengeance! For years I have sought you, tracked you like a beast as you have fled like an animal, but now I have cornered you here. You, traitor who were once my brother, who robbed me of the life that should have been rightfully mine!"

And without skipping a beat the dad turns to him like "You fool! Still you are blinded by your own insolent pride! It was not I who schemed or sought your downfall, but it was your own arrogance that brought you down!" And their battle continues while this guy's family calmly watches from the side.

And the mom explains that yeah, they used to know each other in college. Both of them were already like that when they met, and they were best buds at the time, almost all the way through. No, they didn't start fighting over her. Nobody else but them even knows what this beef is about. And all the while this background story is being explained, they're watching two middle-aged dudes engaged in combat with shitty mall katanas in a grocery store parking lot.

[venuslore]

𖥔 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𖥔

summary ; after being rescued, emotions are high when jj finally comes to terms with what happened between you on the island.

notes ; jj x best!friend reader, ANGST, profanities, eventual fluff, kissing. let me know if i forgot any !

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

nobody in the entire world had ever made you feel so unapologetically yourself as jj maybank did. from the moment you met him, you knew he would become a constant in your life. just talking to him felt as easy as breathing. it was comfortable and warm, and he made you feel seen - jj made everything feel easy with you. 

and yet, as you stood on the lawn outside his house, you had never been so afraid of doing just that as you did now. 

ever since you got back from the island that jj had dubbed ‘poguelandia’, things had been significantly different, like, something had shifted the dynamic among the group. john b was acting weird, sarah was nowhere to be found, kie and pope were on lockdown, cleo with him, and jj… well, jj had been distancing himself, but specifically from you. 

it all felt so wrong. you were pogues, you were meant to have each other's backs through everything, so why did you all feel so disconnected?

with each and every step you take, your nerves only seem to intensify, knowing that you were only a few seconds away from seeing jj. the way things had been left with him you weren’t expecting him to be excited to see you, but you wondered if he would even care that you were there.

making your way around the bend of the house, you're immediately taken when you catch sight of the yellow tape and eviction notice stuck to the front door. do the other’s know about this? you think to yourself. is this why he’s been so closed off from the rest of us?

you all knew that it was going to be the hardest for jj to come back to kildare. he had no one to welcome him back or tell him how worried they were, and now his home was being taken away from him. it hurt your heart to know how much he was dealing with, and there was very little you could do to help ease the burden. 

sure, he may not like the place as much anymore, but it was all he had left after luke bailed on him. everything other than the pogues, everything other than you - which, at the moment, you weren't so sure about either. 

you hear him before you see him, the sound of metal clanging together followed by an array of curse words filling the air, and your heart sinks as you turn to see him over by the marsh, working on his bike. he looked so peaceful, despite the swearing, and in his element, unaware of your presence and the fact that you were only a measly fifteen steps behind him. 

had you not already seen the eviction notice, you would've been arguing with yourself to leave, but there was no way you could do that now. you were there to check on jj, and if anything, he was going to need you now more than ever. 

a lot had happened on the island, and so many memories had been made – ones that you would cherish forever, while others you wished you could forget altogether – but you never once imagined how different things with jj would be now. 

as you slowly approach the blond, you try to think of something to say to break the ice but come up short when you eventually reach him, deciding on, “do you need a hand?”, instead.

jj takes a quick look at you before returning his attention to his bike, “what are you doing here?” he asks in a way that makes you believe he doesn't want you there. 

the bluntness of it catches you off guard, immediately setting off a panic inside you, and you fumble over your words for a moment before settling on what to say next. though you were sure from the way he looked at you, that he didn't really care. 

"well, we haven't really spoken since we got back and i just... i wanted to make sure that you were okay," you lift your shoulders into a small shrug, hands fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you offer him a friendly smile - a smile that's fast to fade when he finally turns to look at you properly. 

“i’m fine,” is all he says. 

you thought that after spending an entire month together, he would know better than to lie to you. you could tell that he wasn’t fine, that something had severely changed in jj. the light that once filled his eyes while you were on the island, spending your days in the sun catching fish, going for late-night swims and making coconut bras, had surely vanished. replaced by dark circles that encapsulated his eyes, proving that he hadn't been getting much sleep either. 

“are you sure? because i just-”

“i’m fine,” he repeats, cutting you off in the process. “in fact, i’ve never been better.”

you gesture back to the house where the front door was covered in police tape. “what’s going on, j?”

this time when he speaks, he purses his lips with what you can only assume to be irritation as he continues sifting through his tools again, “i said i’m fine, y/n. just leave it.”

you don’t push him any further, knowing just how stubborn the maybank boy was. he wouldn’t let someone help him unless he was tied down and forced to. jj hated handouts, he hated feeling like he owed someone, so he preferred to do things via his own methods. 

“okay. i’ll get out of your hair then,” you nod, burying your hands into your pockets now. “just let me know if there’s anything i can do.”

if he hears your words, he doesn’t bother to show or acknowledge it, too busy tinkering with his bike to pay you any mind. though, you don’t make it very far, only a couple of steps, before he’s opening his mouth to speak once more. 

“haven’t you already done enough?” he mutters, scoffing as though he couldn’t believe the audacity of you wanting to help him. 

a mix of emotions floods over you as you take in his words, the comment setting a pang off in your chest, and you turn back to him with disbelief, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

there was a bitterness to his words that lets you know his attitude towards you was about so much more than just wanting to know if he was okay. he spoke as if he was blaming you for something, and there was only one thing you knew it could’ve been. 

one thing that you knew jj would be willing to use against you. 

the cool night air nipped at your skin as you and jj lay on the sand, heads resting in your arms, as you stared up at the starry night sky. you didn’t think you would ever get used to this – sharing such a serene moment with jj – but it had quickly become a nightly ritual in your new island life. if you weren’t watching the stars, you were sitting by the fire, or on nights when the water was still a little warm, you’d be sneaking in a late-night swim. 

“would you stay here forever if you could?” the question comes from him so abruptly. “i mean, if you had the option to go back to the obx or stay here, what would you choose?”

“it depends, am i staying here alone or are you guys here with me?” you roll onto your side, resting your head in the palm of your hand as your view changes from the night sky to the blond who seemed to hold the entire galaxy in his eyes. 

jj chuckles to himself, “we’d be right here with you, always.” he scrunches his nose at the end, though it feels like there’s a secret weight to the question you don’t know about. 

“go back, obviously,” you roll your eyes, watching as jj’s face contorts into an expression of faux sadness, and you playfully tap him on the shoulder, before sitting up, “i’m kidding. i’d choose to stay. if it’s where you’ll be, then so am i.”

a small silence ensues as jj thinks over your answer, and just as you had predicted, there was more to the question than he was letting on. he didn’t care so much about whether you would go or stay, he cared about whether or not you would leave him. 

“what about you? if i were back in kildare, would you stay, or would you come back?” you twist his question.

his brows meet in the middle as he sits up to join you, and he pouts his lips as he pretends to be thinking really hard about it, “i’d go… wherever you are.”

“yeah?” 

“yeah,” he nods, sharing a look that seemed to only be reserved for you. his eyes dancing over your features and his lip tugs up into a smirk, “after all, what’s paradise if you can’t share it with the people you love?”

you knew he didn’t mean it the way you wanted him to, but hearing him say it, and hearing him say that he would follow you back, ignited a feeling in your tummy that no one else ever had before. there was something about the way he spoke with you as if nothing else in the world mattered, and with the way the moon and the stars were shining down on him, you couldn’t help yourself. 

you lean forward, but where you expected him to pull away, he meets you in the middle. there’s an urgency to the kiss, like, he had been waiting for it just as long as you had, and the second your lips touch, you feel sparks exploding inside your chest. 

if anywhere in the world is worthy of being called ‘paradise’, you think, it must be this moment right here. 

he tries to deepen the kiss, pushing into you more, but before he can pull you closer, pope’s voice calling out to you both causes you to pull apart, and you’re left breathless. your chest rises and falls dramatically as you try to regain your breath, while jj coins his fingers through his hair. 

“we, uh, we should probably go,” jj swallows hard, but something in him has changed. he refuses to meet your eyes, refuses to show you any sort of emotion. he doesn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s dusting off the back of his pants and heading back to the group, leaving you bewildered by what had just happened. 

“wait, jj,” you follow after him, but he doesn’t bother to stop, his mind solely on getting back to the others. “jj, stop, can we just-”

“no, y/n. we can’t… we can’t be doing shit like that,” he looks disappointed as he stops dead in his tracks. “just… it never happened, okay?”

that was your last night on poguelandia and had you known it would be the last, you certainly wouldn’t have let it end the way that it did. you had tried to talk to jj the next morning, but with the events that followed over the next few days, your mind had been elsewhere. 

it was hard trying to get used to being back home, to not waking up with your friends, but eventually, the kiss with jj was all that you could think about; consuming your every thought. 

it’s jj’s voice that cuts you from your thoughts, filling you with the same guilt that had been riddling you for the past week or so, “look, i really don’t have time for this.”

“just like you don’t have time for me anymore?” you retort, earning yourself a pointed look from the blond. you didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it was the truth.  

he snickers, dropping the tool in his hand on the table, before leaning against it, “no. it means, i don’t have time for this. look, you don’t need to worry about me anymore, okay? just… go, y/n. go back to your family, and your home, and let me be.”

the sound of your heart thrumming rapidly in your chest fills your ears as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. this wasn’t the jj you had spent the last month with, he was rigid and cold, and there was a look in his eyes – a twinge in his gaze as he looked at you – that made you believe that this was all your fault. 

jj had never been so ruthless with you before, and seeing your best friend in such a way had you sick to your stomach.

“where is all of this coming from, j?” your voice is shaky, and yet, the only answer you’re met with is silence as your biggest fear manifests before your eyes.

you felt so small – small enough that you hoped the world would open up and swallow you whole – while jj busied himself with his tools once again, moving on as if he didn’t have a care in the world. like, everything that had happened that night, and everything he had said, was because of you. as if he hadn’t played a part in it too. 

deciding that you weren’t going to take all the blame for this, you walk to the other side of the table so that he has no choice but to look at you, “you can’t just shut me out like this, okay? you’re my best fucking friend, j, and i’m not going to let you push me away.”

for a split second, jj closes his eyes as his head falls between his shoulders. you wondered what was going through his head, if he even cared about how you were feeling, or if he was just thinking of a way to get rid of you. but the words that leave his lips aren’t what you were expecting at all. 

“please… just go home, y/n.” he lets out an exasperated sigh, but when he sees the determined look in your eyes, he knows that you’re not going anywhere. so he takes matters into his own hands and starts to walk away.

“jj, please stop. if i could take it all back, i would. i would take it all back in a heartbeat, but i can’t,” you feel a weird sense of deja vu as you follow behind him desperately, much like you had that night on the island. “i see the way you look at me, how much you resent me for it, okay? i see it. and i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i ruined everything.”

there’s a falter in jj’s movements as he hears the last bit, knowing damn well what it felt like to be the reckoning of all chaos in your own life; to continue down a path that he knows he shouldn’t, but does anyway.

jj looks sad as he slowly turns back around to you, clearly regretting how he had reacted to everything. he starts toying with his fingers, anxiety and worry written all over his face.

“y’know, i keep trying to tell myself that what happened between us meant nothing, that it shouldn’t have happened,” he pauses, heaving a deep breath. his movements become jittery, one hand slightly balled as the other clenches at the air. “but no matter how hard i try, i can’t stop thinking about it and about how badly i wanted it to happen.”

“so why do you keep pushing me away?”

“because it was wrong, and i knew that it was wrong but i still did it anyway.” 

“was it wrong because we’re pogues or was it wrong because it was me?” your question lingers in the air for a moment, the silence almost torturous. 

all that could be heard was the gentle rise and fall of the waves in the distance. 

jj opens his mouth to speak, but he closes it before he does, giving you the answer you needed. you had tried to brace yourself for his answer, but nothing could possibly have prepared you for the hurt you were now feeling. 

“got it,” you nod, drawing in your bottom lip and clamping your teeth down to hold back the tears that were begging to see the daylight. 

you knew that being a pogue was important to jj – you were the only family he had – so much so that he would end a friendship over it. you knew that there was no getting through to him now, and after everything you’d heard, you didn’t want to stick around any longer. 

turning around, you bury your hands into your pockets and start to walk away, not caring about holding back the tears anymore as they slowly start to roll down your face. your vision blurring and eyes glazing over as you trudge across the overgrown grass. 

“it was wrong because we’re pogues,” jj’s voice causes you to turn back. “and being a pogue means that we stick together, but i can’t… i can’t lose anyone else, y/n. especially not you.”

confused, you take a step back in his direction, wiping away at the few tears that had fallen, “jj, i’m not going anywhere. you know that, you know -”

“-no, i’m dead serious. i’m not going to risk losing you or fucking this shit up like i do everything else. i won’t do it,” he grits his teeth, hands reaching behind his head before falling back to his sides out of frustration. “and i don’t know why everyone leaves me, but they do – maybe i’m cursed or something – but i sure as hell am not going to let that happen with you.”

“that’s not going to happen, jj.”

“you don’t…” he pauses, a pained expression on his face before it softens. “...you don’t know that.”

you could see that he was in just as much pain as you were over this, his baby-blue eyes glazing over with a mixture of fear and despair. you take another step towards him and, at first, he moves to take one back but stops when you reach for his hand. 

“do you remember what you said to me that night? about staying on the island?” he nods. "you said you'd go..."

"... wherever you are." he heaves a deep breath. 

"i meant what i said, j, and i know that you meant it too," you move closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body suffusing through him. "and i mean it when i say i'm not going anywhere."

“you promise?” he feels almost stupid for asking it, but he was craving the reassurance.

and you give it to him, “i promise.”

with delicate movements, he lifts your hands to rest against his chest, his eyes not daring to leave your gaze for even a second. he gives you a warm smile, and you smile back, the pad of his thumb rolling over your knuckles before he drops them to caress the sides of your cheeks. 

a seed of fear had awoken in your tummy, but when he raises his brows at you, you know that he was certain about what he was doing. you nod, giving him approval and he meets your lips as everything you had been holding back erupts into a long, passionate kiss. jj’s hands move to the back of your head where he pulls you in closer.

this kiss was nothing like the one you shared on the island, it was full of promise. a promise to each other, that no matter what was to happen between you both, you would never leave the other because you were pogues for life, and pogues stuck together.

#— ꒰ ‧ ₊˚ vee daydreams ˖꙳‧ ꒱ #jj maybank ᰔ #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank oneshot #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank #jj maybank x pogue!reader

[coconutdays]

emotion

s. you get stuck in your crush/study buddy's room during a freak storm.

w.c. 1.8k

w. gn! reader (I thought a fem reader when writing this, but then I noticed that I didn't really make it gender coded! so I figured it was a plus it came out this way!) , suna! x reader , fluff! suggestive! bc there is some steamy kissing and of the making out

a/n: Earth spun a wheel between Rin, Osamu, and Atsumu for me to write for and it so conveniently picked Suna Rin

Ending up in the same room as your classmate/crush during a storm, at night, with no electricity had never been on your bingo card for the year. Yet, here you were, blinking back into reality seconds after the lights just went out.

"Shit" Suna sighs. You can hear him start to move, making out the shadow of his body standing up and moving towards his beside drawer.

"I have a candle in here." He mutters, the obvious rummaging being heard before it ceases after you somewhat see a cylindrical shape in his left hand. The smell of paraffin going up into flames accompanies the slight bit of light coming from the match he just lit, it fades away the moment he blows out the match after getting the candle to light.

It isn't much, the light coming from the medium sized candle, but it lets you fawn over his face, his entire being. It's a flattering light and it sets a mood you wish you could do something about.

"You think the Professor will cancel the test?" He shivers a little when he sits down across from you again, rubbing his hands together.

That's the reason you were here in the first place, to study for that damn test.

Suna had sat next to you at the beginning the semester after getting there at the last minute and the last open seat had been the one next to yours. Ever since then, you had exchanged small talk and numbers with each other. It happened frequently, befriending the people sitting next to you in class, some days it was a great help to ask each other if the other had done the homework, understood yesterday's lecture, or if they had notes because one of you couldn't go to class that day.

But you only got excited when Suna asked you for your version of the notes from the previous lecture. Everyone always complimented your penmanship, but the first time he got your notes for reference against his, he sent a text:

lol you write really pretty

You smiled to yourself at it when he sent it and could only send a thank you back.

He didn't really befriend anyone else in the class and neither did you because of it. You didn't have the chance to when any free time in the class where the professor hadn't started lecture yet was taken up by conversation he tried striking up with you. It automatically made you study buddies by the time this first test came around.

"Well if it looks like the rest of the campus, or at least half of us lost electricity too, then it might be a no brainer to save it for another time."

He lets out a puff of air as a sarcastic laugh at the situation, "It's like that shit you say. Being delulu is the--"

"Solulu." You finish for him, giggling.

He lets out a 'heh' and leans forward while hugging himself even tighter, "Sorry you got stuck here. The storm really came out of nowhere."

"I'm sorry I got stuck here." You counter, your body starting to shiver at the increasingly cold air filling up the room with harsh cold rain storming just a window away and no heater to protect against it. "I'm in your room after all."

"It's fine," He says, his eyes acting a bit more fox-like than usual as he stares you down before he adds, "Let me give you one of my hoodies, it's getting cold."

And before you can interject and say that won't be necessary, which it really won't--you don't need Suna's hoodie, you're fine freezing to death if it means you don't have to breathe in his intoxicating scent clinging to your skin--he's getting up and walking to his closet.

As quickly as he gets up, he's coming back and handing you a hoodie, the specifics of it like the color or design not something your eyes couldn't register at the moment.

"Thanks." You meep out, basking in the moment your head first slips through it and you feel the hoodie envelop you. You didn't know what was keeping you warm now, the actual material draped over your body or the fact that it was Suna's and he had worn it before, it was his.

When you look back at him and squint a little, you can tell he's wearing one of his own too. One he rarely wore--yes you noted how frequently he wore his hoodies, you couldn't help but make the observation.

"Well if we think tomorrow's test is gonna be cancelled..." Suna drags on, "We can play Mario Kart on my switch?"

You weren't one to frequently come across the opportunity to play on a switch, so you asked, "It can work without wifi?"

"Yea, " He nods, "it's the only I can think of to keep us occupied while we wait to see if the electricity comes back any time soon."

You can think of something else.

And so does he, but he won't tell you that either.

While he gets up to get his console from his desk, you nervously near his bed.

"Hey, Suna, can I play on your bed?"

A shiver runs up his spine and his eyes go wide as he's disconnecting any unnecessary wires from his switch. Time stands still for him and-

"Suna?"

"Yea!" He manages to blurt out like it's not big deal as he comes back to you with the console in hand. When he joins you in sitting on his bed, next to you, propping up the little screen across from both of you, he says, "And you can call me Rintaro. If you want."

You lean over a bit to look at him curiously, noticing a slight change in his demeanor, as if he had something else busying his mind. His eyes seemed caught up in a thought.

"Sure."

That small observation of yours became a thing of the past soon after you had finished playing two matches against him.

He had become your worst enemy.

"You do not let me catch a break!" You laugh and yell at the same time, shoving him with your shoulder.

"Just because you don't play it often, doesn't mean I have to go easy on you." He defends himself, smirking as he looks at you from the corner of his eye while he picks a new map to play on.

You toss your controller to his side of the bed to throw an over exaggerated fit.

"Well now I don't wanna play if I'm gonna keep getting bullied like this." You haughtily huff and cross your arms

Suna jokingly rolls his eyes and is about to ridicule you when you're both suddenly enveloped in darkness again.

The candle must've gone out.

And for some reason, the lack of light made for a lack of noise in the space between the both of you. The rumbles coming from the storm outside filled the void between the both of you and eventually closed the space between you two when a monstrous crack of thunder and lightning made you yelp and grab onto whatever was near.

The shock of the sudden noise had you breathing a bit quick and with your arms around Suna's torso, who instinctively put his arms around you too.

It was quiet, yet not at the same time.

The roaring storm outside was noisy enough,

but you and your study buddy weren't saying anything.

Your hands can feel how sturdy he is underneath the layers of his shirt and hoodie. He's big, an obvious fact considering he is tall and a volleyball player for the school, but it seems so much more prominent when your hand feels so small compared to his huge back.

His breath tickles your ear and you move your head back when you shiver because of it.

His face is now in front of yours because of it. And now you're both in a position to kiss. You can feel his body and mind contemplating it, by the way his head moves a little and how his breath starts to sound. You don't doubt that you're probably doing the same.

When you feel his hand squeeze around your hip, you give him a small peck on the lips. It took all of your courage and some of the intensity from the moment to do it.

You have no opportunity to berate yourself for doing it when he chases after your mouth immediately when you're about to pull away.

And now you're making out with...

"Suna." You sigh, feeling him manhandle you onto his lap

"Rin." He breathes quickly before he reaches for your mouth again.

You can't help the mewl you let out from savoring the moment like the repeated relief of taking off your shoes after a long day of walking.

"Rin." You repeat after him.

Rintaro, Rin, is breathing just as heavily against you as you are. He's going as far as you are, whatever you do, he does in return. When you swipe your tongue against his lips, he does the same, except you open your mouth to him when he does.

And now you're both kissing with tongue.

You moan particularly loud and he juts his hips up into you right before he pulls away from you, the look in his eyes something you so agonizingly wish you could see right now.

"I like you a lot." He confesses, moving his hands down to slither across your thighs and hold them there.

"I like you a lot too." You say back, gripping onto the hem of his hoodie.

"Yea?" Rin breathes against you, going back in to kiss you

"Mhm." You sigh in relief.

"Fuck, "He can't help but push up into you, "You're so fucking pretty."

"You think so?"

"Know so." He groans and heads towards your neck for an assault, holding you in place by the back of your neck. "I want you so bad."

You grind your hips against him, turned on by the confession, "I want you bad too."

BOOM!

And you get scared shitless by the bitchy thunder again, dragging you away from the intensity of your increasingly intense makeout session with Rintaro and into a breathless heap of laughter with him. He had fallen back onto the bed, dragging you down with him and into his arms, snuggled into the crook of his neck.

"Does this mean I can finally follow you on Instagram?"

"Huh?" You're still dazed from the oxygen sucking of a makeout you just shared with him

"I found it a long time ago, but you never gave it to me so I didn't wanna seem like a stalker. You looked really pretty in your post last week though. I like pink on you."

"Stalker!"

#suna rintarou #suna x reader #haikyū!! #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #suna rintaro x reader

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Hi hi!!! I just found your blog and I love how you wrote Astarion. I have a small request if you're still taking them!

Because of Halsin's one line about how his wildshape is hard to repress I have a headcanon that certain druidic animal forms get triggered by certain emotions. So what if a druid Tav was hurt or scared and got stuck in animal form, and Astarion had to calm them down long enough for them to shift back/get healed

Aww, I like this. But some TW: The reason for them being hurt/scared is fucked and involves dead children. I killed off some NPCs for this one (but they live in the real game I swear!) Also set in Act 2, after he confesses. Just so you know! Don't trigger yourself for this.

~

There was a reason that Astarion always tried to convince you to not leave him behind at camp. Mostly because it could be dreadfully boring, doing nothing but sitting there waiting for your return. But also because he didn't like being out of the loop. There had been many moments, too many, where he had been the sole reason you were still standing. Whether that be stabbing someone in the back who held a dagger to your throat or being the one to help you back on your feet from the brink of death, Astarion had gotten very good at keeping you alive.

He didn't trust anyone to watch out for you the way he could, a belief that was instantly strengthened when the group came back. With you nowhere to be seen. It was only Halsin and Shawdowheart, beaten and bloodied as they limped their way forward.

The sight of them had Astarion on his feet in an instant, an awful feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as he waited for you to slink out of the tree line to join them. But nothing.

"Where are they?" Astarion asked, his voice loud and fraught enough to cut through the others questions on what happened, "Why isn't Tav with you?"

Neither of them answered, instead they swapped a knowing grimace. The silence was enough for Astarion's blood to go cold, the worst jumping to the forefront of his mind. B-But that couldn't be. The two in front of him wouldn't just leave her to die, would they? He would hope not, otherwise he'd be forced to bleed them both dry. Astarion was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even realized how heavily he was breathing, how his hands were trembling at the very thought of your being gone. Your corpse just left behind for the wolves in the cursed Shadowlands.

"Astarion, breathe," Halsin said gently, the behemoth of a man suddenly standing in front of him, his hands gently resting on his shoulders, "I know where they are, they're okay. They just... aren't exactly themselves right now, or at least not the version you know."

"If they're okay then why in the hells aren't they here?" Astarion seethed back at him, swatting his touch away before steeping back, "You just left them out there? Alone?"

"It's not that simple," Halsin started, right as Shadowheart piped up, "Karlach is with her. We aren't that incompetent."

"Well considering that our leader is missing, I wouldn't exactly call you capable," Astarion barked back at her, already turning back towards Halsin, "Take me to them. Now."

The venom in his voice would have surprised Astarion himself if he was capable of thinking about anything but you dead in the middle of nowhere. He barely even had the patience for Halsin to get adequate healing, but it was better than having to wait for him to limp the entire way there. He felt antsy and off center for the entire journey, completely foreign emotions taking over him. He didn't care about people like this, for the precise reason that it led to these horrifying moments of uncertainty. He didn't know what he would do without you anymore. He didn't want to ever find out.

It figures that you would go and almost get yourself killed right after he admitted a portion of his feelings to you. And now everything he wished he'd said was invading his every thought.

"Oh come on now, don't make that face! You know me!"

The sound of Karlach's voice was enough to bring him out of his own head. She was up ahead, kneeling next to a small cave opening as she spoke, "For something so cute, you're being a bit of a pisser right now. Aren't you?"

Astarion didn't miss the bodies littering the way between where he stood and the cave, a mix of homely gnolls and dead tieflings, some that he unfortunately recognized from the grove. He didn't take the time to examine them closely, but... he was aware that many looked young. Much, much too young to have died here.

"There they are," Halsin sighed as Karlach cooed at the cave opening, "They've been in there since we stumbled upon all of... this."

"They've gotten less scratchy at the least," Karlach added, standing up with a stretch, her gaze pointedly avoiding the massacre in front of them, "But they won't stop hissing up a storm. I tried to pull them out by the scruff and almost lost a hand, so I'm thinking we may have to wait this one out."

Astarion ignored her as he got closer to the cave, his eyes widening at what he saw. It was you, or at least he was thought it was. He was well-aware of your druidic abilities and he had seen you polymorph into a ferocious beast many, many times. But never like this. No, you always had a human air about you when you shifted, the reality of your true shelf always shining through your eyes, never without perfect control.

But now, you were cowering in your panther form, your eyes daring back and forth, your coat so covered in blood that it nearly looked like you had been swimming in it. You even hissed at the sight of him of all people, your teeth bared as you backed farther against the cave wall, nothing but pure animal fear and rage behind your eyes.

"It can happen sometimes," Halsin explained with a frown, "Tav is very connected with this form, perhaps too connected. Enough so for it to take over when they're particularly distressed. It used to happen to me even, many, many moons ago. It can take hours to change back, maybe even days. And it can be very... difficult to remember your life outside of instincts."

Well wasn't that just fucking awful? Figures there had to be a drawback to such a powerful advantage. But he'd be damned if he'd leave you out here alone for days. And he doubted that the extra audience would help with anything.

"Leave us," Astarion ordered, his eyes still on you, "I'll find a way to bring them back to camp."

Halsin and Karlach exchanged a glance, obviously weary at the idea. Karlach cleared her throat, "Astarion, I know that the two of you are, um, close, but I don't think you can do anything-"

"Watch me," Astarion said, his words petulant even to his own ears. But he meant it. If anyone could help you through whatever this was, it was going to be him, "If I'm not back before the sun rises feel free to look for me. Now leave."

"But she could kill you on accident! And if my best friend had to wake up to that-" Karlach tried to argue, interrupted by Halsin putting a strong hand on her shoulder, "Just because part of them is lost doesn't mean all of them is. Astarion can handle himself."

Astarion was a bit surprised to receive the druid's support, but he wasn't about to argue over it. He nodded at them, "I'll be fine. Now go, I don't think the crowd is helping with their nerves."

Astarion watched them walk away, only relaxing when they were out of sight. It felt like he could finally breathe again. There you were, safe and sound if not a bit... changed. But he could work with that.

Astarion sat cross-legged to the side of the cave entrance, his voice soft but scolding as he spoke, "'I'll be safe Astarion, don't worry about me Astarion, you're such a little overthinker Astarion.' And now look at you, trapped in a cave with a cat's body. Darling, I think it's high time that you start listening to me."

Astarion hadn't been expecting an answer, but the pitiful little chirp you let out brought a smile to his face. He scooted a bit closer to the entrance, careful not to actually cross the threshold as he spoke, "I'm serious Tav, do you know how horrible it was to see them come back without you? I'd say a punishment would be in order, if you weren't too busy giving it to yourself that is."

Another small, dejected noise, but it sounded closer this time. Astarion glanced at the entrance, smiling when he saw you sitting there on all fours, your tail twitching as you peeked outside. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing to do but Astarion slowly brought his hand up, hovering it right in your face while praying that you wouldn't take the chance to bite it off, "It seems like you haven't lost the faculty for understanding language yet. Lick my hand if I'm right."

You did, your large sandpaper tongue gliding over his palm before retreating. You looked... different than before. In a good way, but not a whole way.

"That's a good kitty," Astarion praised, laughing at the way the pet name made your brows scrunch up. Perhaps you weren't fully yourself, but enough of you was there for him to know you'd be getting him back for that little quip, "Oh don't look at me like that. You're the full-grown adult in the body of a glorified housecat."

The little growl you let out at that just made him laugh harder, "A very pretty housecat. Does that help my love?"

You didn't answer. Instead you turned with a huff and retreated back into the cave, your demeanor much more relaxed than before. Relaxed enough for Astarion to venture in there after you. It was a small space, just large enough for a panther to lay and a man to sit. You didn't hiss or growl as he settled in, just watched him with sharp eyes.

Astarion didn't like it. You were usually so tactile with him, always finding reasons for touch, even if they were simple. Standing shoulder to shoulder, intertwining your fingers together, hugs and kisses innocent enough to make Astarion melt. Even in your animal form, not touching you just felt... wrong.

But Astarion also wasn't trying to get mauled. He kept his hands to himself, his head cocked as he stared at you, "Are you honestly going to stay all the way over there? We might be here all night darling, you wouldn't want me to be cold would you?"

Perhaps that was manipulative phrasing, but at least it worked. You shuffled closer, resting your head in his lap while staring up at him with those big eyes.

"See?" Astarion cooed down at you, taking the chance to pet your head, "Isn't that better?"

You didn't answer, instead you closed your eyes, a light purr coursing through you. You really did make an adorable panther, even when your fur was crusted with blood and the tiniest bit of gore. Perhaps you didn't smell that best at the moment, but you sure were cute. You fell asleep there, right in his lap, your body finally fully relaxed.

This wasn't exactly how Astarion intended on spending his night, but there were plenty of worse things. Like having the bury the love of his life for example. Or watching a gnoll tear into their corpse. But luckily enough for him that didn't happen. No, he had you with him, safe and sound. Panther or not, he loved you, and one of these days he would get the courage to admit it out loud. Hopefully sooner than later, considering how easily you could be taken from him.

Astarion hadn't planned on falling asleep with you, but you were so warm, and the sound of your happy purring was nearly hypnotic. The next thing he knew he was out, awaking hours later to a dark cave and a different weight set in his lap. But not an unfamiliar one.

Astarion glanced down, breathing out a sigh of relief when it was you back to normal, seemingly shifting in the middle of the night. You were laying in what seemed to be an extremely uncomfortable position, your cute face smooshed against his leg as you slumbered.

"There you are," Astarion murmured, the quiet sound of his voice still enough to jolt you awake. You blinked your eyes open, sitting up with a start as you frantically looked around.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Everything's okay," Astarion said gently, tugging you back to him, "You just had a little... incident. That's all."

You nodded, the memories from the day seemingly hitting you all at once. He could see the tears start to well up in your eyes as you stared at the ground, "I... I remember the tieflings. We found them too late. And I saw one of those things gnawing on... on Silfy. And another on Mattis and I just... lost it."

Oh gods. Astarion didn't exactly have a soft spot for children, but the thought of seeing one of the ones you had saved, eaten alive was horrifying. Even against the things he had seen.

"Come here love," Astarion murmured, holding his arms out; his heart breaking at the look on your face.

You went to him, nearly collapsing in his arms as you cried into his shoulder, "I didn't save them. I- they were right there. And I didn't save them."

"You can't save everyone," Astarion said as he stroked your hair, "Not every life can be your responsibility. It just can't."

"Why not?" You sniffled, looking up at him with tired eyes, "Why does this have to keep happening? Why can't I do something about it?"

"Because the world wasn't made for people like you," Astarion said honestly, "It is cruel and horrific and it doesn't deserve you. But it needs you anyway. It needs someone who cares, despite everything that proves you shouldn't. And that's not fair, but it's true."

Part of him could scarcely believe such words were even his own, let alone that fact that he believed them. But he did. You couldn't save everyone, no. But that didn't stop the fact that those you could mattered. That your kindness and passion for good did mean something, it meant enough to help hundreds of people. And enough to change him. Astarion would never be the same after meeting you. He didn't want to be, but even if he did the change was irrevocable. Because that's just the effect you had on people. And he felt so damned lucky that he was one of them.

You nodded against him as you let all of your tears out, his words meaningful but not enough to stop the pain completely.

But that was okay. Astarion wasn't going anywhere.

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #asks #you'll pry my long posts out of my cold dead hands #tw for kids that do not live #which is not canon #the kids mentioned can very much live in game #but drama #gender neutral tav

[taesanrot]

[found you] sungchan x f!reader | 0.7k words fluff, a little angst but not really, brother's best friend!sungchan, mutual pining, college au kinda... note. reader is eunseok's younger sister and a sophomore not sure if that was too clear. hope u guys enjoy! one two three

you crossed your arms loosely and began the short walk to your apartment. checking your phone, you see a couple texts from your friends, asking how your dinner date had gone. you sighed.

sungmin was sweet; he was cute and respectful and he should’ve been everything you wanted. but somehow, you felt nothing with him. your friends, the same ones who had set the two of you up, convinced you to give it time, but after your second date you ended things, smiling at him softly and telling him you didn’t think it would be a great idea for the two of you to keep seeing each other. he almost begged you to let him walk you home; it was starting to get dark. but you honestly just wanted to get away from him and stop rubbing salt on the wound. so here you were, walking to your campus apartment in a comfortable silence, staring at the ground and filing through your own thoughts. 

that silence didn’t last too long as you heard someone call your name confusedly. “y/n?” 

you looked up and squinted, barely registering the tall figure that had called out to you. they jogged towards you and you sighed in relief as your eyes focused on the mystery figure's face. jung sungchan. 3rd year student also attending your uni. your brother’s best friend and roommate. and unfortunately, the reason you even went out tonight. he was the person you wished so desperately that your heart would forget. 

“hi sungchan.” you managed a weak smile. you could barely look him in the eyes, you face felt like it was on fire every time you looked at him. you felt your pulse jump as he looked you up and down, eyeing your outfit. “going somewhere?” he tried his best to fake surprise. he already knew exactly what your plans were — eunseok had mentioned it earlier that day. 

“y/n’s seeing that guy again.” eunseok rolled his eyes after checking his phone. he didn’t understand why you were suddenly going on dates. "i thought he was boring?" seunghan, their third roommate replied, looking up from his cereal.  

sungchan walked past the two boys and opened the fridge, grabbing a protein shake. he turned and leant against the countertop, twisting the cap of his drink open. “huh? what guy?.” sungchan tried to sound as unbothered as possible. he wasn't doing a great job at it. eunseok raised an eyebrow at the taller boy. seunghan bit back a laugh.

“some senior yunjin set her up with. park sungmin…. you know him?” eunseok smirked, pretending not to notice the way sungchan’s jaw tightened slightly. "i'm going to the gym" sungchan huffed out as he finished the last sips of his drink, crumpling the bottle with more force than necessary before tossing it.  

you looked down at your skirt and blouse, laughing dejectedly. "yeah, dinner actually. i'm on my way home now." although he was over the moon to hear that things with you and sungmin were clearly going nowhere, his eyes softened at the sadness in your voice. "didn't go well?"

"not really, i just wasn't into it, ended things tonight." you looked down, toying with the end of your sleeve. he grimaced. "is that why you're walking back alone?" you nodded. he scanned the area around the two of you. "you could've called me, you shouldn't walk alone so late"

you chuckled softly. "it's okay, i'm a big girl. i can make a five minute walk alone." he broke into a smile and you swear you could feel your heartbeat in your ears. he checked his phone quickly before looking back at you.

"well, me and guys were gonna watch a movie at our place tonight, wanna come along? seems like you could use some company."

you bit your lip in contemplation. you honestly thought spending more time with the one person you were avoiding was a terrible idea. but you also couldn't bear the thought of being alone in your apartment. what's the worst that could happen anyways?

"sure. are you heading there now?" sungchan smiled happily at your answer. "i was gonna pick up some snacks first, there's a convenience store around the corner."

"let's go."

[bonus]

as the front door shut and the tall boy left the apartment, seunghan looked up at eunseok again, chewing the remainder of his cereal. "doesn't it bother you?" eunseok finally let out a laugh. "that he likes my sister? no, i think it's pretty funny, maybe he'll do something about it for once." eunseok's phone chimed with a message from yunjin, a response to him asking where his sister was going tonight. "plus... i'm pretty sure she likes him back."  

#jung sungchan #sungchan #sungchan x reader #sungchan imagines #riize imagines #sungchan fic #sungchan fluff #sungchan angst #sungchan smut #riize fluff #riize fics #riize angst

[spacebarbarianweird]

The Skin I Hate

Astarion wakes up from yet another nightmare but this one brings even more disgusting memories that he is used to.

TW: Mentions of SA, mild self-harm Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, f!tav, established relationship, post-game Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

The weird perk of being an elf is being conscious when dreaming.

Non-elves are blissed with sleep, letting the dark void consume them for a night. Meanwhile, adult elves have to see their own past and re-live the memories in these few hours of meditation.

When it's good memories, it is a dream. When it's bad, it's a nightmare. And unfortunately for Astarion, his memories only fuel the despair.

"Here you are, boy," he hears his master's disgusting voice. "Such a handsome young elf you are."

Cazador is dead. It's not real. It's yet another nightmare that has come to haunt him. The old vampire was so pathetic he didn't even bother to hunt himself, fearing the only thing he could truly enjoy as an undead. There is nothing to be afraid of. Astarion stabbed him twenty-eight times, slaughtered him like a pig he was.

But nightmares keep coming, and there is nothing Astarion can do to stop them.

"You don't want to do this, but you are still doing it."

Astarion remembers everything. He doesn't remember his past when he could see his reflection or the sun, but his mind has preserved all the memories he wishes to forget.

The desire to peel his skin off. The dirty touches. The never-ending tortures and hunger. Sometimes, Astarion thinks this is the reality and the last two years are just a hallucination, an evil trick. Freedom, safety, a woman to hold. It’s all unreal.

Astarion is still locked in the tomb, isn't he? He is still in the kennel, flayed and beaten. He is still in his master's full power, doing every disgusting thing he orders.

… Astarion opens his eyes. He sees the wooden ceiling above him. He hears birds chirring in the distance - it's late afternoon, warm and sunny. Astarion can't understand where he is; the nightmare still holds a grip on his mind. The undead heart feels like a tombstone in the chest.

There is an urge to hide, run, and return to his master because the longer Astarion is absent, the more painful the tortures will be.

Then, he sees a set of armor, too small for him to wear. A travel sack with food he doesn't need, and a sword he doesn't know how to fight with.

Tav.

The realization resembles a lover's embrace, gentle and strong. It was indeed a nightmare. And this is the reality for Astarion. Freedom. A journey under the starry night sky. Days spent in shelters like this abandoned hut in the middle of nowhere.

And Tav's love.

Her trust, her caress. Her loud laughter at his jokes, her concentrated face when she takes care of her weapon and armor.

Their innocent mockery of each other. "Astarion, what does it say?" she asks, pointing at the board at the tavern. "Tav, I still can't apprehend how you lived up to being an adult without getting reading skills." "Oh, I am sorry I was too busy surviving! Not everyone is born in cities!"

His little brave Tav, whose heart is big enough for them both. His fierce companion who believes in him a hundred times more than he believes in himself. Her imminent faith in good, in people. In the chance, there is a cure for vampirism, in the idea that evil forces will always be defeated.

There was time when he thought Tav was just stupid. It took him a while to realize her faith comes from dark places. She knows the sorrows of this world no less than him, but she chooses to always see the light.

And Astarion chooses to be with her.

“Look what you have done to her”, something dark whispers in his ear. "She has to hide in shadows with you. If it wasn't for you, she could stay in the nearest village and sleep comfortably, but because of you, she has to stay here, in this wretched hole of a place. You are tainted with blood and pain, and you taint her as well."

Astarion tries to shut this voice up. But he can't. His own skin feels disgusting as if covered in acid sweat. His body is dirty. His touches are cursed. After everything he did, after everything done to him, after all these people he slept with, after everything happened to him in Cazador's mansion - he has no right to ruin Tav.

Astarion stands up, trying to shut the voice up. The hut is so small it suffocates him, but he can't go outside; the sun still shines.

"Damn! Gods damn you!" he screams, but the voice sounds hoarse as if he broke it in his sleep.

Maybe he did.

Nails dig into the skin, causing dull pain. Astarion makes a sharp movement, leaving deep pink strains on his left arm. Pain is pleasant and familiar. He keeps scratching the skin as if trying to peel it off.

Blood starts dripping to the floor.

The pain brings temporal bliss, and the sight of his bloodstained hand somehow comforts Astarion. Tears stream down the face - tears of desperation. Of darkness.

"Astarion," he hears a quiet voice. "Please, stop."

He turns his head and sees Tav. She wears her camp clothes, a pair of trousers and a shirt. Her hair is wet. She probably has bathed in the nearest river. Feet are bare and covered in soil. Astarion notices a blade of grass stuck between her toes.

Tav approaches him and makes him sit on the floor. He tries to drop the sleeve to cover the injuries as if it could trick her.

Tav gently touches his neck, avoiding the bite mark. Her touch is thoughtful, kind, and warm. She smells like sunlight. Astarion freezes, staring at the wall, not knowing how to look at her, not knowing what to do.

"What happened?" she finally asks. "I got used to your nightmares, but this is the first time you harm yourself."

"Nothing"

Tav sighs and stands up. For a moment, Astarion thinks she will leave him, but she just kneels at her travel bag and gets a healing ointment. He usually applies it to her after fights with monsters while she jokes, "You should see the other guy!".

The ointment prickles the skin and accelerates vampiric regeneration.

"Tell me," Tav asks.

He shrugs. "There is nothing to tell. Nothing you already don't know, just another nightmare. Tell me how the world looks under the sun."

"Astarion, you are my love and my life. But if you keep pretending everything is good when it's not, I will hit you with something heavy."

"You are so adorable when you try to threaten. Like a hissing kitten."

She laughs, and he can't take his eyes off her smile.

Then, Tav takes his injured hand in hers and caresses the knuckles. She waits for him to answer.

"If you woke to me trying to peel my skin off, would you want to know why?" she seriously asks.

He gulps. Of course, he doesn't need to tell now. Tav won't force him. He can tell her later when he feels more like it. Or never tell. It's his right for privacy. But it means Tav will be more preoccupied than usual, that the next sunrise she won't leave his side, that she will offer him her blood more than usual, more than she can give without complications.

Astarion can't do this to her even though he has a right to do so.

"I feel disgusting," he finally admits.

"What?" she is shocked. "Why?"

"I feel my skin is dirty, and no matter how strong I scrub it, I can't escape this feeling. I have done terrible, loathsome things, and the same things were done to me. Any time I touch you, I feel like I taint you, burden you with my own nightmares."

Tav is silent. Her eyes study his face. Is this remorse in her eyes? Sadness? Anger?

"Astarion. I am going to ask you a question", she finally says, "And you will answer it. You will not try to lie. You will not try to banter. You will tell me the truth. Did he force himself onto you?"

Astarion stares at Tav in disbelief. How can she know? How did she guess?

She touches his cheek, and it causes tears to flow again.

"Yes," he answers shortly and bites his lower lip. "Many times. Before he grew tired of me and sent me to the streets."

Tav doesn't say anything. Instead, she opens her arms and hugs Astarion, pressing his head against her collarbone. He can't see her face, but he knows there are tears on her face as well.

"How did you know?" he finally asks. "Tav … did anything… like that…"

"No, I was never assaulted. But every girl, whether she is an elf or dwarf or a human, a peasant, or a noble - knows such things. We are warned about it from a very young age. Even when it doesn't happen to us, we know someone it happened to. I think I guessed the moment you told me about your past."

"You disgust me," he remembers a cruel voice as if its owner wasn't the one who made Astarion disgusting.

She pulls away and kisses his forehead. "You are more than this. More than your trauma, more than your past. You are brave, smart, kind, even if you don’t want to admit it. I know what you are, what happened to you. It's a part of the deal. But please don't hurt yourself. If you do this, you continue Cazador's work. Because he would have mutilated you. The only thing he could not take away from you was your appearance, your face, your beauty. It was the only thing left from the past self. You can't see the reflection, but at least you know you look the same as 200 years ago. And your master needed it to lure victims. He couldn't take it from you without consequences for himself."

Tav puts her hands on his shoulders and looks at his eyes.

"Sooner or later, he would have found someone new, someone innocent to do your job, and he would have mutilated you. He would have taken the only thing you were left with. Every time you try to harm yourself, every time you hate yourself, you continue his job. I don't fucking want this. You don't fucking need this. The bastard is dead. You killed him. We can't change what happened to you. But it means he can't return either."

Astarion puts his hand on his knees and smiles. "I don't deserve you."

"You do deserve me, and I deserve you. There is no part of your body I find disgusting."

Astarion instinctively covers his bite mark. Tav notices it and gently removes his hand. She looks at the bite mark closely as if studying.

Long ago, they agreed he didn't want his bite mark to be touched, and Tav carefully avoided it. He couldn't know what this scar looked like but was sure it was repulsive.

And then Tav kisses the bite mark.

A shiver goes down Astarion’s spine, there is a forgotten memory of being bitten by a hungry monster who didn't know any better than to attack a weak, dying person.

There was a time when Astarion prayed to the gods to save him. Every divine creature he remembered – Lathander, Loviatar, Selune, Tyr, Savras – and a hundred more. No one answered. But what if someone did? He just needs to figure out which one is responsible for making sure Tav is born and survives through childhood, and who put her right in front of the Nauthiloid. When he does, he will become a man of this god.

Then Tav pulls away and looks at the entrance to the hut. "It's still hours till sunset. Is there something I can do to make you feel better?"

You don't need to do anything – the sole presence is enough.

"Сould you give me the book from my bag?"

Tav smiles and opens his travel bag. "There are two books"

"The green one"

"They are both green!" she pointed at the volumes, the cover of the first one was the color of wet leaves, and the other resembled a malachite.

"The one you like more."

Tav hesitates, looking at the covers, and then chooses the second one. When she sits beside him, Astarion wraps his hand around her waist.

"What does it say?" she asks.

"The History of the Western Heartlands," he opens the first page. "But you are going to read it yourself. I don't want you to be dependent on my reading skills."

"Oh", she pouts. "I knew you don't like reading to me!"

"I like reading to you," he says, "And I want to teach you to do the same. Come on, it's not difficult. I need to concentrate on something anyway, and teaching an adult person to read will definitely be a complicated task. I will read, and you will follow the text with your eyes, then I will ask you to repeat what I said. Deal?"

Astarion presses his finger at the first line. "The history of the Western Heartlands is a history of endless battles and destroyed empires.-"

Tav repeats after him. It takes them a few hours just to make it through the first page. He sees her anger when she can't remember a specific letter and almost childish delight when she manages to read the word without his help.

When the sun finally sets, they pack their bags. Astairon helps Tav to put her armor on, tightening the belts, and they leave together into the night.

"You do feel better, don't you?" she asks, walking a few steps ahead of him.

Astarion concentrates on his feelings. The disgust and fear feel like a distant nightmare, something he can easily brush off. Even the bite mark Tav touched so gently stopped causing so much mental pain.

"Yes. I feel great, my love."

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 #astarion romance #baldurs gate astarion #astarion fics #astarion fanfiction #astarion x f!tav #astarion x female tav #baldur's gate tav #astarion angst #astarion fic #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #tav x astarion #spacebarbarian fics

[orgverse]

san's red hair got me and @sanjoongie going crazzzyyyyy. so please enjoy this while i make topaz suffer. N E WAYS this is also apart of a pornstar au that i'm currently working on, so enjoy!!

for the two, almost three, years you have known san, he has always had black hair. you remember watching videos and seeing him with different colored hair, but never in person. when him and wooyoung had reached out wanting to film a video with you and hongjoong, he had just cut and dyed his hair back to black from the blonde mullet he hand. and since then its been black.

so you were throughly surprised when you opened your apartment door and was greeted with bright red hair. your jaw dropped, literally. you probably would have started drooling if san didn't start teasing you. "you'll catch flies, star girl."

you were def going to be seeing stars soon.

san had volunteered to help you with your stream tonight since seonghwa was away visiting his parents, and hongjoong was busy editing the film you just finished shooting with yunho.

"no wooyoung?" you asked when you noticed the louder of the two males nowhere in sight.

"nah, he says he wants to stay home and watch the stream instead. think he said something about wanting to support his fav girl," he told you he walked into the apartment and removed his designer shoes. you noted how sexy san looked with his entire outfit. simple, but san was good at making simple look sexy.

his black tank top doing well to show off his muscles and his slim waist, and his jeans hugging his body nice and framing what little ass he has. but you won't tell him that because he would argue he does have an ass. sure, san, sure. he takes off the jean jacket he had been wearing and hangs it over the computer chair that seonghwa usually sits in.

he towers over you as he watches you pull up the website, love-heart-xx, and set up the stream. you remember san mentioning how he had streamed too back before he stopped and focused solely on just porn films.

"you're setup is very cute. very you," san says when you get up to let him sit down. that's when he finally takes a few moments to look around the room.

"o-oh, you think so?" you ask, a little caught off guard by his words. san nods his head, red hair bouncing with the movement.

"all the decorations are cute and welcoming, it makes it feel like its your personal bedroom and not a separate one. it feels... lived in," he explains and you feel a heat spread through your body at his words.

you've always admired san, having watched him since he first started his career in the porn industry. you kind of wish you found him when he still streamed. it had always been a goal – a dream actually, to film with him.

and now he's helping you with your stream. un-fucking-real.

"well, i'm going to go get ready! i'll be right back!" san doesn't say anything, but nods his head and gives you a smile before you're turning and walking out of the room.

walking into your actual bedroom you share with hongjoong, you find your lover sitting at his computer, headphones on, and eyes focused on the video editing program in front of him. you notice he's at the part where you and yunho were making out. yunho's hand holding your chin as his tongue licks over your own before he's sucking on it. you remember that scene and knowing what comes next makes you rubs your thighs together.

no, you needed to get changed. walking over to your walk-in closet, you go over to the section that was specific for streaming. you dug through your clothes before pulling out a dark blue lingerie set. when you walked out of the closet, you noticed hongjoong had his headphones off and was turned facing your direction.

"hey, babe," you said putting the lingerie on the bed before you take your shirt off. you notice hongjoong is looking at you, his eyes focused on how your breast bounced a little before you're taking your shorts and underwear off.

"i thought i heard you sneak in. is san here?" he asks and you nod your head as you step into the blue lingerie bottoms before putting the bra on. you look at yourself in the full-length mirror, turning to look at every part of you. "does this look good?"

hongjoong lets out a sigh before he's standing up and making his way over to you. his arm wrapping around your waist as he takes in your appearance. "you look beautiful," he says kissing your neck. he gives your ass a good pat before he walking back over to his desk.

"are you going to try and watch some of the stream?" you ask, making your way over to the door. hongjoong nods giving you a smile.

"of course, i'll do my best to pop in."

"okay! so usually seonghwa just sits here and kind of moderates chat. usually while i'm talking to chat, he'll jump in, but you don't have to if you don't want to," you tell san as you sit on the bed. you look at yourself in the monitor setup in front of you as you attempted to make sure you looked good. "do i look okay?" you ask, looking towards san.

"perfect," he says making you look away from him, a little flustered.

"you can go ahead and hit the button, san," you tell him shyly. he lets out a small chuckle before he's clicking the 'start stream' button and you watch as the stream starts and viewer start pouring in.

"hi guys!" you say, smile overtaking your face as you wave to the camera. the chat on the side of the screen being filled with your usual watchers greeting you. tips easily coming in. "i'm doing good tiger-star! hope you're doing well! ... oh! you like this piece, rubyred? i'm glad you like it, i've been wanting to wear it for a while!"

san watches you with a smile on his face. he takes in how natural you look interacting with your chat and... chatting with them.

"oh!" you say clapping your hands and earning san's attention, "seonghwa couldn't be here today... i know sunshine-sparkle, i'm sad too, but! we have a lovely person who agreed to cover for him tonight! ... no hotpants it is not patrick star," you deadpanned that last part making san chuckle. "sannie is here!" you say looking towards the male how leans forward just enough to stick his hand in front of the camera.

mega_yn_fan : holy shit THE choi san!!!

guylovescheese : FUCK! how much to see him fuck your pussy???

a_lexa_star22 : i would gladly pay to see that happen!

"do you think they want me to fuck you?" he teases making you let out a small laugh. suddenly, you see a rather large tip come in making you almost fall off the bed from how far you leaned over to look at it.

"holy shit! thank you wooenergizer for the three thousand dollar tip," you say, still not comprehending the sudden amount.

"oh, that's wooyoung!" san says, right before you read the message he also sent in with the tip.

"three thousand to see sannie finger you," you read out loud, feeling flustered by the message. wooyoung really had no self-control or filter.

san lets out a chuckle before he's standing up from his seat and crawling onto the bed next to you.

"if chat gets to ten thousand i'll fuck this pretty pussy," san says, spreading your legs to gently pat your clothed cunt. "sound good?" san adds before looking at you and you nod your head.

you let out a breathy moan, hips jerking forward as san fucks you hard and fast with his fingers. the wet sounds from your pussy mingling in with your moans, your manicured nails digging into san's thighs. he had removed his pants a while ago, leaving him in just his tank top and underwear. you feel his hard-on rubbing against your backside.

his other hand gropes your breast, your bra being pulled down to let your breast out. he pinches your nipples and gives it a good tug making you let out a whine at the feeling.

"s-sannie, please so-s-so good, fuck!" you say, tilting your head back to let it rest on san's shoulder. you could feel the tension rising within you, your orgasm coming soon. you attempted to close your legs but san didn't let you.

he pulls his fingers out of you and you whine at the empty feeling. san uses both his hands to spread your legs, throwing them over his own legs to keep them open. you moaned at how you could see your pussy on full display to for everyone watching. your pussy dripping with juices that run out of you and you can see it glistening under the lights.

you yelp, jumping and whole body bouncing when san suddenly gave your pussy a good smack before he's rubbing furious circles on your clit. "s-s-sa-san!"

"look at that, star girl, your chat got us to five thousand. that's halfway. should we switch it up?" he asks and you wonder who's he's talking to.

"hm... hungry2ho says they want you to sit on my face. i don't know hungry, do you think y/n's been a good girl enough to sit on my face?" san asks and you clench at the thought of sitting on san's face. he suddenly grabs your face, turning you to look at him. his eyes half-lidded as he meets your lustful and almost fucked out ones. "do you think you deserve to sit on my face?"

"p-ple-please san, i-i've been good! let me please," you're begging him now and san can't help the smirk that paints his lips.

"well~ since you asked so nicely, who am i to deny my pretty star girl," san says and you can feel your thighs tremble. "open your mouth," his voice is commanding and you do it without a second thought. you let out a loud moan as you watch san spit in your mouth, allowing it to run down your tongue and throat. "such a nasty girl. no wonder wooyoung is so fond of you, just like him," he says before moving to lay on his back, his bright red hair a heavy contrast to the cream-colored bedsheets.

"oh fuck– san, san! your tongue feels soooo good~" you say with a moan as you rock your hips back and forth. san had a tight gripped wrapped around your legs and waist as he kept you pinned down to mouth. his nose bumped against your clit, rubbing and stimulating it nicely as his tongue licked and fucked your pussy.

you glanced down, running your hand through his soft hair to see his eyes staring intensely at you. he stare honestly made your heart skip a beat as you felt his moans vibrate through you and shake your core. san kneaded the flesh of your ass before giving it a firm smack. the sound resonating through the room and you were sure anyone watching could have heard it.

wooenergizer : look at how you're falling apart on sannie's tongue 👅 can't wait to see you fall apart on his dick... again 🍆💦

you couldn't but let out a hearty laugh at wooyoung's comment before you see others in the chat agree with him. knowing wooyoung was still watching also made your heart skip a beat, because along with san, wooyoung had also been someone you admired within the industry.

"mmh~ san, fuck so good! i think i'm gonna cum!" you say, letting your head roll back a little as you grind your hips again, san's nose once again nudging at your clit.

"hold it, pretty star," san says, voice just as stern and intense as his eyes. you feel yourself clench when you notice the lower half of his face is glistening with your juices.

"sannie," you say, hand running through his hair as your other one runs over your body, feeling yourself and groping one of your breast. "please fuck me."

"i don't think your viewers want me to fuck you. you're still only at eight thousand," san says in a rather mocking tone.

"fuck– please, please let sannie fuck me! i need his cock so badly!" you beg looking at the camera and indirectly looking at your viewers. your eyes were pleading with them and hoping that your begging would convince them to continuing to tip you.

fuck, you felt like such a cock slut right now. but you couldn't deny how good san's cock was and how badly you wanted it.

and then it happened. you heard the familiar sound of being tipped and you immediately had to do a double take on it.

k.yeosang tipped $5,000.

your viewers must have seen the tip as well as the chat immediately exploded in excitement at the tip, knowing it was only a matter of time before they got to see you take san's dick.

"yeosang!" you say, chest warming when you realized it the male who had donated to you. "thank you so much! wow, you definitely didn't have to tip that much, but i really appreciate it!" you say, sliding off of san and letting him sit up so he could see the tip as well. he ran a hand down your back, noticing how your legs slightly trembled.

k.yeosang : make sure to invite me next time 😉

"i'll def keep in it mind, yeo," you say, not being able to stop the smile that overtakes you. you feel san pressing open mouthed on your neck and trailing down your back. you allow san to to move you so you're resting on your hands and knees, and you can't help the yelp that escapes you when you feel san gently bite your ass. you watch yourself and san through the monitor, feeling your excitement start to swell up as he removes his underwear and tossing them to the floor. you arch your ass, high into the air and gently sway it in an attempt to tempt san to move faster.

you moan as you see him pump his cock. the angry red tip, leaking with precum which his is using to lube himself. "s-sannie," you call out earning the male's attention. he smirks, running a hand through his hair before he's positioning himself at your entrance. you couldn't help the breathy moans that left you as san entered you. stretching you out, but sucking him in nonetheless.

"you sound like a bitch in heat, y/n," he laughs as he gently positions you, hands gripping your hips as he starts off with a harsh and fast pace. your mouth was fixed in a perfect o-shape, unable to close it and also so easily lost in pleasure that you couldn't make a sound.

having san fuck you was like a new experience, each and every time. of course it was mainly different because of the films you did together. each scenario being different enough from the last that it gave you a new experience each time.

and this time was no different. you couldn't help but shove your face into the sheets. wanting a moment to just feel san's cock abused your insides, yet the sudden sting to your scalp said otherwise. san held your hair harshly, gripping it to the point it was almost painful.

"don't hide your face, y/n, your viewers paid good money to see you get fucked by me. don't make them waste their money," san says as you feel him rest his body weight on top of you.

"i-i'm sorry!" you said, however who you were saying it to, you weren't sure. you felt tears start to brim your waterline, but thankful san let go of your hair in favor of using both his hands to prop himself up. the sound of skin slapping skin ringed in your ears. his cock rubbed against your walls, stretching you out over and over again and it made start to see small white stars in your vision.

"s-san! sansansan so-s-so fuuuucking good! ugh– please, please let me cum!" san presses a kiss between your shoulder blades before he's thrusting even harder. the tension in your stomach building up, waiting to snap and explode any moment now.

"fuck, i am too, my star. gonna let me cum inside you? give your viewers a good creampie?"

"yes! fuck, yes! fill me up!" you begged, you noticed your arms were now in front of you, hanging off the edge of the bed. you swear you feel a line drool run down your chin, but you arms feel so much like jelly that you don't have the energy to wipe it away. not that you care anyways.

then suddenly, you feel san pulling out and you feel your approaching orgasm quickly escaping you. you're about to scream, throw a fit before san is hoisting you up off your stomach on onto your knees. you are left slightly confused and dazed before san is entering you again. his arms hooking underneath yours to keep you up right. this new position allowing everyone to get a good few of san fucking your pussy.

"go ahead and cum," you hear him whisper and just like that, the coil snaps inside of you and your cumming with a loud and well... pornographic moan. san gives you a few more thrusts before he's sheathing himself deep inside of you and also cumming inside of you with a low groan.

you are out of breath, covered in a layer of sweat when san pulls out of you and quickly positions you on the bed. legs spread wide apart before he's getting off the bed. you watch him with dazed eyes as he picks the camera up – you want to complain about how he's ruined the perfect position you spent months working to find, but you don't have the energy to say anything. instead you watch him as he does a close up on your pussy which slowly begins to leak out his cum.

his fingers come to spread your pussy lips, showing off how much cum he truly stuff you with before he's scooping some up on his fingers. "fuck look at how well he's took him, such a good pussy," you hear him say at one point.

then san is panning the camera up to your fucked out face, his cum-covered finger easily slipping inside your open mouth. you have just enough energy to eagerly suck on his finger, tongue licking up his cum and cleaning his fingers. when he's sure your done, he removes them with a pop sound the rings around the room.

"tell your viewers bye," san says in a cheery tone making you smile at both him and the camera.

"bye-bye~" you say smiling, waving, and blowing several kisses to the camera that goes further away from you as san goes over to the computer to end the livestream.

san put the camera back on the tripod before he coming over to the bed. he pulls you more towards the edge of it by your ankles and you laugh at how easily he does it. his strength showing once again. he rubs circles onto you ankles before he's leaning over you.

"thank you, san," you say pressing a kiss to his cheek. you notice a faint pink dusting san's cheeks as he pulling away from you.

"of course," he says with a cough, "you know i enjoy spending time with you," he says adds on making butterflies swarm around your stomach.

"really?"

"really. now come on, let's get cleaned up and go bother hongjoong for food," san says with a smile as he helps you off the bed and begins walking you towards the door before he's stopping. turning to you before adding, "i would love to do this again soon. maybe even watch you and wooyoung have some fun."

"gosh, shut up and take me to the bathroom, you fool."

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez san x reader #ateez san smut #san smut #san x reader

[deartrent]

a valentine's exchange — taa

summary: when valentine's day comes to an end, it's your turn to give trent your own kind of treat

warnings: contains smut (18+, mdni)

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader

notes: this was kind of rushed and a day too late sorry!

"thank you for today," you'd just come back from the most dreamy valentine dinner date, something you didn't even know trent was capable of coming up with, let alone organise.

"anything for you baby," you both crashed on the bed, one of trent's arms around you as you cuddled into his side. he looked extra fine today, you couldn't tell if it was the all black fit he'd picked for today, your favourite cologne dripping off of him or the fact he'd dedicated the entire day to spoiling and treating you. you couldn't have imagined a better first valentine's day with trent.

he insisted that valentine's day was all about you and as you'd been dating for a little under a year, you quickly realised his love language was gift giving, taking any opportunity to spoil you rotten, just to show you how much he loved you.

you still felt guilty though, not having any surprises in store for him, on a day that is all about showing love. just once you wished you could pay him back, but you also knew you had nowhere near the capacity to ever gift him the way he gifts you.

you had to get creative and while trent was getting ready for bed—or so he thought—you changed out of your dress and slipped into a black lingerie set you kept for special nights like these. trent didn't ask, but you knew from the looks, the kisses and the subtle touching that he wanted more, and you were going to give him just that.

trent walked out of the bathroom, unaware of your plans as he turned off the bathroom lights and looked up to see you standing in front of your shared bed, your hands on your waist. a smile formed on trent's lips at the sight of you, slowly walking your way as he took in your frame, "what's happening here?" trent towered over you, a smirk on his face. you smiled back at him proudly, looking at him through your lashes, "it's my turn to spoil you," you lifted your shoulders, placing your hands on his waist as you held onto his shirt.

trent simply watched, anticipating your next move. you had no idea what you were doing, you just knew you had to blow his mind to reward him for giving you a valentine's day you could have only dreamed of. you slowly lifted his shirt over his head, trent assisting you, "i loved your outfit, but i love this more," your warm hands traced over trent's abs, all the way down, as you lowered yourself until you were eye level with his growing bulge. trent stood confidently, chewing on his bottom lip, growing impatient from your teasing.

you struggled to pull trent's sweatpants down, freeing his cock from the tight space in his boxers. you stifled a laugh, excited about pleasuring the man in front of you, whose eyes turned dark with lust. his cock twitched in front of you, as though it was screaming to be touched. you rose from a crouch onto your knees, one of your hands wrapping around the base of his shaft, as you spat onto his tip, your hand moving up to spread the natural lubricant over his tip, trent groaning at the sensitivity.

you loved teasing trent, seeing him in distress and eager to feel your touch gave you a sense of power and dominance you craved every once in a while.

your tongue circled around trent's tip, leaving kisses every now and then to get him as riled up as possible. trent struggled to keep his eyes open, his lips parted as soft moans and groans escaped, occasional curses leaving his throat. you knew it wasn't going to be long until he would take over, his naturally dominant nature surfacing. you didn't mind though, you loved trent being in control, but for now, you just wanted to see how far you could really push him.

with a soft grip around his base, you repeatedly tapped his cock against your tongue, holding eye contact as you watched him get weak under your touch. one of his hands moved to the back of your head, while his other hand held his shaft. you knew he had hit his limit when he slowly pushed himself into your mouth, your lips wrapping around his cock as you tried to take as much of him in as you could. your muffled coughs were trent's sign to pull back, your eyes shimmering with tears, a silent response to the tightness gripping your throat.

you took over from trent once again, your hands holding onto the back of trent's thighs as you moved your head at a quicker pace, attempting to take all of trent with each suck. the wet sounds of his cock pumping in and out of your mouth echoed through the room, mixed with trent's grunts. you quickened your pace, feeling trent's legs tense up. the precum leaking from his tip gave away that he was close to release.

you took a minute to catch your breath, wiping away the hair stuck to your tear-stained cheeks, while trent started jerking off, planning to release his cum all over your pretty face, "fuck," he cursed, his breath coming out in deep pants, his head tipping back a little, before focusing on you once again, "open your mouth for me," you silently obeyed, your hands still on trent's thighs as you opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue to catch every drop spilled from the head of his cock.

his strokes became faster but irregular, his groans becoming louder as his cum spewed out, marking your face and chest. coming down from his climax, the lust in trent's eyes didn't disappear as he helped you up, before turning you around, your back facing him. pushing you onto the bed, he got rid of your lingerie, the panties made of silk drenched with your wetness. you felt trent's hand on your back, pushing you further down as you arched for him, exposing to him what he'd been waiting for, "good fucking girl," trent mumbled just loud enough for you to hear, his hands brushing over the skin of your bum.

the tip of his cock grazed against your slit, your clit swollen and throbbing at the slightest contact. placing both hands on your hips, trent inserted himself into you, making sure to bury all of him inside, and keeping it there as you sunk your nails into the bedsheets, your eyes closing, your walls tightening around him. the force and pace of his thrusts increased and so did the volume of your moans, throwing around curse words as you cried out his name, not knowing whether you begged for mercy or begged for more.

"keep going," you were breathless, the pleasure almost too much as trent's hands held your waist, pulling you in with every thrust, his hips clapping against your bum with every pump, neither of you caring about how loud you were being, "fuck, oh my god-" you cried out, the climax building up inside of you almost unbearable to hold as your eyes rolled back into your head, "i'm gonna- fuck" you continued, your moans sounding like melodies in trent's ears, who started losing his pace as he reached his own climax. the final thrust threw you forward and if it wasn't for trent's grip, holding you in place, you would've fallen onto the bed.

trent plunged his cock in and out a few times, his cum leaking out of your pussy as he dragged himself out slowly, "fucking hell," trent collapsed next to you on the bed, his arm held out for you to join him, "that was fucking hot," he chuckled, as you cuddled into his side once again, your favourite place to be, "that was some going cross-eyed type of sex," you joked, sharing a laugh with the love of your life.

"you know that was my way of thanking you for today," you added, your hand resting on trent's tummy as you both stared at the ceiling. you heard trent snort, "remember the previous dates i took you? i think you forgot to thank me for those," you rolled your eyes, slapping his chest, before pushing yourself up, "you're not getting more out of me today, i'm exhausted." you tore yourself away from trent's warm body as you walked towards the bathroom to get cleaned up. trent intertwined his fingers behind his head, watching your naked figure disappear into the bathroom, a satisfied smile on his face, a content warmth settling in, his mind clouded with you.

and only you.

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x you #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold blurb #trent alexander arnold one shot #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold fic #trent alexander arnold smut #trent alexander arnold fluff #trent alexander arnold angst #taa x you #taa x reader #taa #taa blurb #taa one shot #taa fic #taa smut #taa fluff #taa angst #taa imagines #football fics #football one shot #football blurb #football smut #football fluff #football angst #football imagines #football x you #football x reader

[entitled-fangirl]

Two idiots in love. (P4)

Joel Miller x anemic!reader

Summary: Joel and the reader continue to navigate their feelings for each other, but it starts to become more and more clear as time progresses.

Warning: blood, guns, death, cursing

Masterlist

Parts 1, 2, 3, 5

..................................................................

Ellie walked out of the building to join Joel and Y/N.

Joel was knelt down by a car, his hands prying at the gas cap. Y/N was leaning against said car, and the two seemed to be arguing.

"Joel, please. I can help you sometimes…"

"No. You don't need to be doing any of this stuff. Bad for you."

Siphoning another car.

Ellie sighed as she neared, "We have to do this every hour?"

The two peaked their heads up at her.

Joel calmly explained, "Gas breaks down over time. This stuff's almost water. Back in the day, we'd drive, 10, 12 hours on one tank. You could go anywhere."

She nodded, "So where'd you go?"

Joel looked up at her again, finally rigging up the tubing. "Pretty much nowhere." And he brought the tube to his mouth.

He blew into one tube, making gas come out of the other and into their small fuel tank.

Ellie smiled, "Nice! How does that work?"

He tilted his head back and forth, "It's a siphon."

Ellie looked confused, and Joel realized he needed to dumb it down a bit.

Y/N smiled as well. Joel was such a patient man.

"It's when liquid travels against gravity," he looked a bit confused, "…because pressure…"

"You don't know."

Joel became defensive, "I know it works."

Ellie turned away, walking towards another car.

Joel reprimanded, "No wandering."

The girl sighed, "Okay." And set on the hood of the closest car. "This is your fault then."

Y/N laughed as Ellie pulled her joke book out of her bag, watching Joel become more annoyed at each joke.

…

"Alright. I think that's enough for today."

Joel turned the truck off the road and into the forest.

Y/N got out carefully, and moved to the bed of the truck to get the small camping grill Bill had left them.

Joel stopped her, "I'll get it, sweetheart."

He set it on the ground where they would make their camp.

She smiled, "Well, you get us unpacked, and I'll make dinner?"

He considered her proposal, "Alright."

…

The two adults watched Ellie eat her food with an animalistic speed. 

"Slow down," Joel reprimanded.

"This IS slow." 

Y/N smiled with a small chuckle.

Ellie finally slowed down, "What am I even eating?"

Y/N finally spoke up, "That is 20 year old Chef Boyardee ravioli."

"Well, that guy was GOOD."

Joel grimaced, "I actually agree."

The silence ensued until Ellie spoke up, "Can we start a fire though? I'm freezing."

"Now, why am I gonna tell you no?"

"Because infected will see the smoke…"

Y/N spoke up again, her plate untouched, "…no. That's not it at all…"

Joel nodded, "Fungus isn't that smart. This is too remote for Infected anyway."

Ellie gulped slightly, "…People?"

Joel just gave a look, but it was enough to tell her she was right.

"So, what are they gonna do? Rob us?" Ellie scoffed.

Joel stared down at his food, "No. They'll have way more in mind than that." He glanced over, seeing Y/N's untouched plate, "Eat."

She sighed slightly, "I… I'm not that hungry."

He straightened his shoulders, his voice becoming demanding, "Eat, Y/N."

She shook her head. She didn't mean to be defiant, but she couldn't bare to eat food at the moment. 

Joel set his plate down. She knew his tone well. He was angry, but trying to mask it for her. "Sweet girl…"

But she stopped before he could continue, "Joel, really. Please don't push it."

He stared at her for a while before nodding, going back to his food.

…

Joel and Y/N woke up early, under the same covers as they always did. Joel began to pack up as Y/N offered to start a small pot of coffee.

Joel took the offer, running a hand over Y/N's messy hair. He took note of her puffy eyes from sleep and the sweet smile that she wore.

He wished he could hold that picture forever.

They began their duties, as made quiet small talk to avoid waking Ellie. "Joel..?"

Joel turned to look at Y/N over his shoulder, "..Yeah?"

"Somedays I wish I had your accent…"

Joel actually smirked at the woman. God, she was a treasure. "My accent?"

"Yeah. You have this accent. I don't know. I like it, I guess."

He nodded, unsure of what to say.

So, she continued, "I think I just like your voice. It's… soothing. I don't think the accent would sound as nice with me."

Joel just let her talk. She hadn't spoken this much since Bill and Frank's. 

"…I wish I could've met you before all of this…"

This made the man stop packing. "…what?"

"I.. well… you know? What you were like and… what you did, what you wore, how you talked. What you were like with your daughter…."

Joel was unmoving. He was thankful his back was to her, or she would've seen the expression on his face.

"…Can't I be a little curious?"

He sighed. Of course, she could be. He would tell her anything in the world her heart desired if she asked.

Finally, he spoke. It was slow and calculated, "You can be."

"Do you think we would've been friends? Our old selves?"

This woman would be Joel's end. And he would love her for it.

He finally turned to look at her. She sat on the ground next to the pot of coffee. Her big eyes staring back up at his in concern for his answer.

He sat in the silence for a moment as he thought of what to say. He settled on, "…you wouldn't have liked me." And he moved back to the truck to pack.

She tilted her head, "You don't know that."

He spoke over his shoulder, "I do. And I don't even know why you're around me now, if I'm being honest."

She misinterpreted him, her eyes saddening, "Well… do… Do you not want me here?"

Joel immediately turned around with wide eyes and slight panic. His voice hardened, "That's not what I said. And don't say that ever again."

She was thrown off by his sudden defense. It confused her, "…but you said.."

"You're not leaving. I won't let that happen."

A nod and a confused look was all Joel got from the woman in front of him.

She stood up, walking her bag to the truck. She stood next to Joel, and placed the bag in the bed.

They said nothing. They weren't sure if there was anything to say.

Joel finally sighed, turning to her. He reached up with one hand, placing it on the bag of her head, letting his fingers play with the strands of hair, "Listen, sweet girl. I only meant-"

"What the fuck is that?"

Ellie interrupted the two.

Joel sighed as he dropped his hand and looked over to Ellie, "You don't like coffee?"

Y/N sighed at the lost moment, her shoulders slumping.

…

Ellie woke up in the backseat as Y/N muttered road names under her breath to Joel as she stared at a road map. Joel would only nod or hum lightly at the names.

Ellie thought it was strange, their little secret language to each other.

But she only opened her eyes when she felt the truck stop.

They were at the outskirts of an abandoned city.

And the underpass needed to keep driving was blocked by a semi truck that had crashed.

"Stay put." Joel muttered as he got out with his gun to investigate.

Ellie took this time to get caught up. "Where are we?"

Y/N looked over her shoulder, "Kansas City."

Ellie nodded, "So, you and Joel are..?"

Y/N sighed, "You heard us this morning?"

"Yeah. I think he likes you a lot."

The woman leaned back in her seat. "Doesn't matter, Ellie. You shouldn't get too attached to people. They always die."

"But Joel-"

"-I said, it doesn't matter." Her voice grew pleading, "Don't get too attached to us, Ellie."

The girl knew she didn't really mean that.

Joel got back into the truck, his hand reaching out for the map in Y/N's hands.

Ellie noticed the way their fingers grazed each others. "So how far back do we have to go?"

Joel stared at the map, tracing potential roads until he sighed. He gently set the map down in Y/n's lap. "Screw it."

He turned the truck around, driving through the city to get back on the highway. 

But half way through, he cursed under his breath, "Where the fuck is the highway?"

Y/N hummed, "I'm turned around now. Just… give me a second."

Joel spoke up, "Don't look at the state map, hon. Look at the inset."

"Either way, I'll still be confused."

She spoke under her breath, trying to figure it out.

Joel turned, "It's gotta be the right…"

"STOP!"

Joel hit the brakes at Ellie's plea.

A man was in front of the truck, holding his side, "Please! Help me!"

Y/N's head perked up at the cry, "Joel…?"

"Put your damn seatbelt on."

Ellie stared at the man, "Aren't we gonna help him?"

"No."

And Joel hit the gas, making the man jump out of the way.

Y/N noticed the person on the roof of the next building, their feet kicking at a barrel.

And it fell towards the truck.

"JOEL!"

Joel tried to swerve, but couldn't avoid it.

It hit the windshield. 

It made Joel blind to the row of nails that now pierced the tires. 

The truck swerved, crashing into a building harshly.

Joel immediately reached out for Y/N, his hand on the back of her head like earlier, but in a more panicked state, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You're not hurt or nothin?"

"… I don't know…"

When Joel pulled his hand away from her head, it came back slightly red with blood. 

"Shit."

Y/N noticed the blood too, looking at Joel with a worried expression.

He wanted to comfort her, but the bullets that pierced the truck reminded him of the situation. 

"Belts off. Get out."

Ellie and Y/N got out on the passenger side, blocking themselves from the bullets. 

Joel followed suit.

He reached into the backseat through the window, grabbing his gun.

He turned to the girls, "You see that hole over there?"

They looked over to the hole in the wall.

"Can you squeeze through?"

Y/N only stared.

"When I say go, you crawl to that wall, and you squeeze through and you don't come out until I say, okay?"

A bullet broke one of the windows.

"And they're not gonna hit you." 

Joel noticed Y/N's wandering gaze. He wanted to be soft, but he was too panicked to go so. "LOOK AT ME!"

She did.

"They're not gonna hit you. Take Ellie with you."

She stopped, "but I can't leave you."

He took her jaw in one hand, "You sweet, sweet girl. I'm gonna be fine. Let me worry about you. Stay down, stay low, and you stay quiet."

She knew not to argue.

"Alright. Go."

And with that, the two girls crawled to the hole in the wall with determination. Joel peaked over the top of the truck bed to shoot back.

He made sure the two got through.

He shot one easily, but another man was still out there. And judging by his taunts, he was enraged. 

Silence.

Ellie and Y/N only stared at each other with wide eyes. Unsure of Joel's safety.

A gunshot.

Y/N couldn't help it. She just barely peeked out from the hole to check.

Joel stood tall, the end of his gun smoking just slightly. 

He reached down to reload.

And it was jammed.

The door opened and a young man stepped out, ready to fight.

Joel was too.

Y/n heard the sound of rustling and the occasional grunt from a hit. 

She wasn't sure who was winning. 

But she was going to make sure it was Joel.

She stepped out while the man had his back to her.

Joel noticed and his eyes widened.

When the man saw Joel's gaze, he followed it. To which Y/N threw a heavy punch to the man's face.

The man was thrown off but not for long enough. 

He reached forward, grabbing Y/N by her hair and pulling her to him.

Joel took that as an advantage and wrapped his hand around the man's neck, the other over his head, ready to snap his neck. He growled in the man's ear, "Don't fucking touch her."

Though the man was the only one with the gun, he was at the disadvantage.

Y/N stared into the man's eyes, trying to read his thoughts.

Finally, he muttered, "You're gonna fucking pay, old man."

This angered Joel. He didn't want to just kill the man. He wanted him to pay.

So, he threw the man backwards into the floor, continuing the fight.

Y/N fell to the ground herself, cradling her head in pain. She was already losing blood from earlier, and she was beginning to see stars.

So, when Joel was on the ground, being choked by the man, Y/N was of no help.

Ellie stepped out, shooting the man in the leg. 

It gave Joel a moment to collect himself and his breath. His eyes immediately flickered between Ellie and Y/N. 

The man backed up to the door on the ground. 

He was just a boy.

And he began to plead, "NO, no, no it's okay. It's okay. It's over. We're not fighting anymore."

Y/N pushed herself up onto her knees. Her face contorted in pain.

She couldn't help but feel bad.

Especially when he continued, "I'm gonna go home. I'll tell everyone you're good. I… I don't know what to do. My legs don't work."

He started to weep. "My mom isn't far, if you could get me to her."

Joel started to get up.

"Please. We could trade with you guys. We could be friends. I didn't know. I'm Bryan."

Joel approached Ellie was an angry expression, holding his hand out for the gun in her hand.

She sighed and handed it to him.

And Joel took out a knife, turning back to the boy.

The boy began to plead again, "Wait, wait, wait."

Joel turned to Ellie in rage. His voice was low, "Get back behind the wall."

Ellie just stared.

Finally, Y/N spoke up quietly, "…just go."

When Ellie turned to leave, Bryan began pleading loudly, "I'm sorry! Please, no! I'm sorry!"

Y/N turned to Joel once Ellie hid. A tear fell down her face at the sight. Her voice was almost a whisper, "Joel?"

But he wouldn't listen. "Close your eyes."

Joel was an unmovable force. Merciless and cruel. For everyone that stood in his way. 

It scared her slightly, watching his eyes turn murderous.

She had killed before, sure. But never had she looked so… bloodthirsty.

Not like he did.

She closed her eyes, listening to the man's cries for his mother until they were silenced.

She didn't dare open her eyes until she felt Joel's breath on her face. 

His eyes scanned her carefully. "You okay?"

"No."

Joel's jaw clenched. "Alright. We'll fix this. Let's get you cleaned up, Darlin."

And just like that, the murderous glare was gone, and Joel had returned.

And this Joel was hers.

............................................................

Author's note: I'm gonna make a tag list for any continuing parts I make. Comment if you want on it and I'll add you!

Part 5

#joel miller imagine #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller tlou #joel tlou #fanfiction #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou #tlou imagine #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

yo i hope your requests are open?

could i have a chubby reader with her stepdad’s friends who all want her? like she’s in college and they’re offering to cover her, they take her clothes shopping, etc

thanks <3

Been stewing on this for a bit—

CW: chubby fem reader, older men, smut

───────────────

Alright alright, let's set the scene

Your parent gets remarried while you're at college, and you're fine with that. You've known your new stepdad since he started dating your parent in high school, he's a real stand-up guy and you respect each other. He's been nothing but kind to you and always given you space and freedom.

You don't even meet his friends until you come back from college one summer break.

They're all around his age, 30s and 40s, older than you by a decade or more. You don't meet them until your stepdad hosts a barbeque. Your parents insist that you attend, so you do, suspecting you'll have to answer lots of questions from your older neighbors. You wear a cute two piece outfit, a floral off the shoulder top and a solid colored tennis skirt. You don't think much of it, but you realize during the party that you probably should've worn something more conservative.

Your stepdad's friends? Oh, they're lewd. They're not normally like this, but something about seeing your soft plush curves on display has them itching to get their hands on you. They grab some beers and crowd around you, asking about college, if you're having fun, if you have a boyfriend. You're polite, but you can feel them staring at every inch of you, peeking down your crop top and at your exposed belly. You're not used to this type of attention, so you just assume they're trying to be nice, to humor you with their stares.

Oh, if only you knew what they were thinking. If only you knew that while they were standing beside your stepdad at the grill, all they could focus on was how you bent over to grab a drink out of the cooler, your skirt riding up your thighs. They imagined flipping up your skirt and finding soaked panties underneath, ripping off the flimsy fabric and slipping their cock into your wet heat. They couldn't stop imagining how your chubby pussy lips would cling to their cock, the base covered in creamy cum as you spasmed around them, your moans high pitched and whiny. Several of them had to excuse themselves to the bathroom to calm down, but it barely worked since all they'd do when they came back was stare at you. They're disappointed when you eventually leave the barbeque and escape to your room, but they know they'll see you again.

Not even a week later, they're over at your house watching a game with your stepdad. You're roaming around the house in an oversized shirt and boxers, and these men are practically salivating at the sight of you. They fantasize that you're wearing their clothes after a lovely night of sex. They talk to you when you come downstairs for a snack, meeting you in the kitchen to "grab another beer", asking you what you're up to on your day off. You're polite and humor their questions, trying to ignore the subtle flexing of their muscles. You think nothing of their attention, soon teetering off to your room again to watch TV, much to their disappointment. They wish you could sit on their lap while they watch TV, hands roaming your plump frame while they nurse a beer. Perhaps another time.

They keep showing up at your house over the summer, usually on the weekend. They're always so nice to you, giving you all their attention when you enter the room. And they even start helping you out! When your car broke down and you had to go to work, one of them drove you to your job while the others stayed behind and fixed your vehicle. When you wanted to go shopping and didn't have anyone to go with, they took you to some plus-size friendly shops and even paid for your clothes. When your date stood you up and left you all alone, gussied up with nowhere to go, they practically fought each other for the chance to take you someplace nice (ultimately, they ended up just cooking for you at home and watching a movie after).

It's safe to say that they're all head over heels for you. They're all single, either never been married or divorced, but they wanna change that. They want to have a pretty lil thing like you by their side, hanging onto them, letting them spoil you. They wanna fuck you senseless, in every position you can imagine, in the bedroom, living room, shower, even the kitchen. They want to worship you the way you deserve, and they jerk off almost nightly to the thought of you.

Imagine their disappointment when the summer ends and you have to go back to school. They see you off, helping load your things into your car. They each give you their number in case of emergency and your parents aren't available, but they hope it could lead to more. They sadly watch you drive away, feeling their hearts break as your car disappears. They go home gloomy and depressed, already missing their plump ball of sunshine.

Imagine their joy when you text them that night and say that you miss them.

───────────────

#ask #smut #☀️ asks #chubby reader #fem reader #chubby fem reader

[mazeruffleposts]

Hashira's React! Pt. 2

HAPPY LATE VALENTINES DAY!!! I wanted to do something for the Hashira, especially since I haven't written for them in a hot minute now. I do plan on making a Hashira's React! special for my birthday, even though it's already passed.

Content Warning: Fluff

Word Count: 2031 words

Proofread? No.

Hashira's React to Sweetheart!Reader surprising them on Valentine's Day! Reader surprises them with something nice that they have been planning for a while!

Lacuna- A blank space. Used in place of your name

GYOMEI

Gyomei is a simple man, he never would wish for anything fancy or over the top from you, his love. Though to be honest, the holiday still snuck up on him. He had been so busy leading up to it that it had slipped his mind.

Que to him spending most of the day traveling back home after a ridiculously long mission only to find that the house is damn near empty, save for the few attendants cleaning like all is normal. You are nowhere to be found.

He assumes that you were out doing something in the nearby town and didn't think much about it. He goes to the private bathroom you two share to freshen up.

About two hours or so later, he greets you at the door with a big ol' hug.

Insert surprise Pikachu face when you inform him you want him to follow. You lead him down the path leading to a small creek near the house.

There you set up a small picnic with his and your favorite foods. To top it all off you brought out a book that you had been interested in reading for a while, but put it off till you could spend time and read it to him. Knowing that he loves your voice.

"My dear Lacuna, you are a true blessing. There is no better gift you could have given me than your time and affection. I feel loved beyond words."

TENGEN (+ Hina, Suma, And Makio)

Tengen is a sucker for the dramatic! He loves to see what all his partners come up with for special occasions and will go out of his way to help when he can. Though he can't help but feel a little bummed to think you and the other wives haven't planned anything special this year. He took it as his chance to swoop you all up for a surprise trip somewhere. The four of you WERE planning something, and for once you were able to keep him from finding out about it beforehand.

He had recently been so busy with a rather nasty demon's nest a few districts over and hadn't been able to come home for a while. The letters you all sent never spilled anything about the surprise you all had.

After trudging back home over a few days flowers in hand for each of you, he finally stepped through the threshold of the house and was greeted with the sight of all four of his partners dressed in extravagant kimonos, hair done up, and bright smiles.

The Halls and rooms of your home had decorations ranging from hanging lights to written letters proclaiming various reasons why you all love one another. The aroma of the good food you all had been helping to prepare took him by surprise a bit.

"I honestly shouldn't be as surprised as I am to find you all did something so wonderful. My heart is bursting at the seems with how much I love you, thank you."

Que Tengen taking a moment to greet each of you with a hug and a plethora of kisses.

KYOJURO

You and the lovable Flame Pillar have been together for almost a year at this point, and Kyojuro has been counting down the days to do something special for you but ended up being surprised. Coming home after a surprise rescue mission with none of the gifts he planned to shower you in, he found the hallway leading through the house covered in various flower petals.

The savory smell of your cooking, which he swears is better than anything he has had, fills his senses as he follows the path you so obviously made for him.

Doesn't know what to think when he gets to the other side of the house and sees you set up a little date spot in the garden. You in your favorite yukata, surrounded by candles with that soft smile that just melts him.

Poor man's brain shuts off at the sight of you. He was rooted to the spot in pure awe of your beauty, never noticing how your melodic voice had been calling out for him to join till you walked over to him and waved a hand in front of his face.

The blush on his face when he realized he'd been staring made you giggle. He made up for the silence and oogling by swooping you into his embrace and kissing the crown of your head.

"I must truly be a blessed man... Coming home with nothing to give but my love, yet you welcome me with open arms. My dear Lacuna, you warm my heart more than the strongest fire ever could."

OBANAI

Isn't one for the dramatics or anything regarding the holiday, even after making you his. He wouldn't ever want you to do anything for him.

Similar to Sanemi, he's not fond of dramatics in relationships till he's in one with you. Now all of a sudden he finds himself panicking as he walks home late with nothing but a couple bentos with your favorite foods.

The entire walk to your shared estate consists of him kicking himself over waiting till the last minute and trying to convince himself that you won't be upset. He should have gotten you a plush bear or something.

You're waiting on the engawa before he even enters the estate grounds. You are dressed in a yukata to match his Haori, which he blushes profusely over but will never admit, and you hold what looks like a journal and a single red rose in your hands.

When he finally gets up to you, he's panicking, but nonetheless calms down when you greet him with open arms. Suddenly he's questioning why you would have been upset with him.

He does that adorable head tilt as you explain how you know he thought the holiday was stupid, but you still wanted to do something for him. Que handing him the journal and the rose, telling him that for the past few months, you've been writing letters about your daily life while he's away accompanied by small poems just for him.

Yeah, that blush has him feeling completely flustered now. You both eat the bentos on the engawa together as he reads the journal.

"My Lacuna, the love you continue to devote to me is truly special. I hope you know you are truly my everything, even when I don't say it."

MITSURI

Is much like both Kyojuro and Tengen. She's been counting down the days to plan something rather extravagant for you. But sometimes, the simple things mean so much more

Everything however seemed to be going wrong in every possible way. Not only did she burn the food she was trying to make for you ahead of the date she planned, she got called out to a mission the day of.

Now she's walking home late, wrapped up with nothing but herself to give you. Not that you would complain...

When you answer the knocks at the door, you find your girlfriend on the brink of tears. She doesn't even notice you dressed up in a silk Kimono, instead, she flings herself into your arms apologizing.

After a few moments of you comforting her, she finally takes a look down the hallway and into the main room when candles are lit.

Que surprised face when you tell her you had heard about the surprise mission and wanted to give her a good meal and warm bed to come home to. Now she's crying again and spinning you around out of pure joy as she tells you she'll make breakfast for you in the morning and spoil you.

"Lacuna, my love! I can never express how much I truly adore you! But I will try my best to shower you with it~"

SHINOBU

Isn't one for holidays, but was planning on doing something small for you. However, she ended up too busy to go through with it and was rather bummed.

An influx of slayers needing patching up plus a whole solo mission on the edge of her district took up the majority of the day and night for her. She was practically stomping her way up the path to the separate house you two share but was shocked to find you opening the door for her with a cup of warm tea held out.

Telling her that her crow informed you of the chaos and that it was alright. After taking the tea from you, you lead her down the hallways to the large private bathroom where you set up a whole ass spa just for her. To top it off, you said you bought her a new Kimono with Sakura blossoms embroidered on it to match the one you had on. Now her cheeks feel warm

She embraces you with the first genuine smile she's had all day.

"No matter the chaos of the day, there is nothing more that I enjoy than coming home to you. Well, besides your love, my dear Lacuna~"

GIYUU

Never really paid much attention to the holiday in the first place. So it ended up sneaking up on him and now he's panicking.

Spent most of the day training at his estate while you were out. Only remembered the holiday when he went to Kocho's that afternoon to do something.

However, it gave you ample time to set up your surprise for him.

Giyuu unfortunately didn't give you a whole lot of time before he came back, BUT you were able to set up the main room for a cuddle space.

Came in as you were setting up the snack stash and ended up staring at you as you rearranged the literal mountain of blankets and pillows to your liking.

Got spooked by you squealing as you turned around to him staring. Spent the next few minutes mentally banging his head on the wall because he should have said something.

Was genuinely surprised to hear that you had planned spending the night cuddling him and showering him with affection. Was also surprised when you brushed off the fact that he didn't have anything for you. He thought you'd be upset, but was shocked to hear that it wasn't required to gift you something, that all you wanted was him as himself.

"There's very little I could do to properly show how grateful I am to have you in my life, my Lacuna... Trust when I say you are a blessing to me."

SANEMI

Similar to both Giyuu and Obanai, he doesn't care for the holiday until it hits him smack dab in the face and now he's panicking trying to figure out what to do for you.

You were well aware of his dislike for the holiday but still wanted to do something to show your appreciation for the man. For the month leading up to the holiday you'd been sneaking small purchases and hiding them away in your shared home.

He had a feeling you were up to something but never could find anything out of the ordinary.

After a rather disappointing meeting with a few of the Hashira to discuss recent demon activity, he came home socially exhausted.

You met him at the door with a gift basket. Its contents are hidden by colored paper with a note attached. His name is written by your hand on it surrounded by various colored hearts.

Didn't know how to react when you practically shoved it in his hands. After a few minutes of convincing, you got him to read the small letter.

Big, bad, buff Sanemi Shinazugawa was on the verge of tears as he read the heartfelt confession you made him explaining all the things you loved about it. Did in fact shed a tear when you said you couldn't put everything on it that you wanted to say.

Opening the gift he found various homemade sweets, including Ohagi.

"My dove, you continue to shower me with love even when I feel undeserving of it. There is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for you~"

You still managed to surprise him with matching Kimono's the next morning that he begrudgingly wore just for you.

Credits to @cafekitsune for the dividers used in this post. They are wonderful, go show them some love!!!

#demon slayer #tomioka giyuu #giyuu x reader #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x reader #tengen uzui #tengen x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #shinobu x reader #shinobu kocho #mitsuri kanroji #mitsuri x reader #gyomei himejima #gyomei x reader #obanai iguro #obanai x reader #kny x reader

[virtualreader]

roadside temptations

rickgrimesxfem!reader

summary: the car breaks down on the way back to the prison when you and Rick were coming back from a small run, and you figure out a way to kill time.

word count: 1,7k.

warnings: fingering, manturbation (female reciving), thigh riding, unprotected sex (p in v), cursing, praising, dick riding, etc. not proofread.

requested: yes (by anonymous).

+18 content below, minors dni, nsfw, please do not read it if you're uncomfortable with this topic!

As the car continued along the road, the gentle rumble of the engine slowly began to transform into a more noticeable rattling sound, and the once smooth ride became slightly more unstable as the vehicle began to wobble ever so lightly.

You and Rick had gone on a supply run to gather the essentials - medical supplies and food - and anything useful you could find. Given the current state of things, you knew that every little thing counted. It was supposed to be a day's journey; however, as luck would have it, your vehicle did not seem up to your wishes, as it malfunctioning and running slower than usual.

“That doesn’t sound exactly nice and smooth,” you said, pointing out the worrying clatter coming from the motor. “Do you think we should stop and check it out?”

"It's probably best if we do," Rick agreed. He didn't want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere, having just a couple of hours left until sunset. "'M gonna pull over to that siding, and I'll take a look at it.”

Rick did as said, stopping the car when he had reached the pull-off. He opened the driver’s seat door and step out, heading to the front of the car. You watched as Rick popped open the hood and began to inspect the engine, a troubled expression breaking across his once calm features after he poked around a bit.

Rick followed instructions and stopped the car at the pull-off. He got out of the driver’s seat and walked to the front of the car. You observed as Rick opened the hood and inspected the engine.

After poking around for a while, a troubled expression crossed his previously calm features. Rick slamed the hood shut with a loud bang, and, with his thumbs in his pockets, returned to the car, behind the wheel.

"Looks like we're stuck here for a while," he said, turning to face you.

“If only you’d listened to me when I told you,” you scolded Rick. “We should’ve checked everything was in order before setting off.”

He was in such a hurry to depart that he didn't even stop to verify the condition of the engine. He was to blame for your setback.

While you rebuked Rick, his gaze remained glued to your lips, moving as you spoke.

"Are you listening to me at all?" you asked Rick, shaking your head in exasperation.

“God, you're so fucking hot when you're mad," he said with a smirk.

"You're a lost cause, you know that, right?" you sigh, still trying to hold onto your annoyance with Rick, on the brink of succumbing to his pleading eyes.

"Maybe," Rick responds with a wry smile, "but you long for this lost cause to touch you." His voice is playful and teasing, and it has the abillity to snap you out of your anger.

It's not that you don't appreciate Rick's sense of humor and charm - it's just that sometimes, it can be a little too much, especially when you're in a stressful situation like this one. But as he sits there beside you in the car, his eyes sparkling with mischief, you can’t help feeling the fluttering butterflies, the same ones you got back when he first started flirting with you.

As he moved his hand along the exposed skin of your thigh, you felt a rush of desire course through your body. The warmth of his touch sent shivers down your spine and you found yourself yearning for more. You wondered what it would be like to have his hands explore every inch of your body, to feel his fingers tracing patterns on your skin as you melted under his touch.

You gave in to your desires and crossed over to the driver's seat, straddling Rick.

In a sudden and spontaneous movement, he grabbed your arms and pulled you closer to him, pressing his lips against yours in a fervent and ardent kiss. If you could not make it home, you might as well enjoy the privacy the deserted roads provided.

You interrupted the kiss, opening your eyes to observe his face, which you held in your hands. You noticed the way his eyes sparkled in the fading light, and the way his lips curved into a small smile. How you had gotten so lucky to have found someone like him in this chaotic and unpredictable world?

You buried your face in the crook of his neck and sucked, savoring the salty flavor of his perspiring skin. The lustful action elicited a grunt from Rick, and seeing him enjoying it only made you hornier.

Unable to resist the temptation to indulge your erotic desires, you began rubbing your denim-covered pussy on Rick's leg. The sensation was electric as you indulged in your carnal urges, your body responding with increasing arousal and a sense of unbridled wildness.

"Behave, babygirl, " Rick gasped, trying to keep some semblance of control. “Quit that if you want me to please you anytime soon.”

But you were relentless, the friction sending waves of pleasure through your body.

Rick's voice was strained as he fought to keep his composure, his eyes locked onto yours with a mixture of desire and amusement. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and the intensity of his gaze made your heart race.

Despite his warning, you couldn't resist the temptation to tease him, to see just how far you could push him. You continued to grind your hips against his leg, feeling the friction and the growing wetness between your thighs. Your breathing became more and more erratic as the pleasure built inside you, and you could tell that Rick was struggling to keep up his facade of control.

"Are you trying to drive me insane?" he growled, his hands tightening on your hips. "Because if that's your plan, it's working."

You smirked, feeling a sense of power in the way you were able to affect him.

"Maybe," you said, your voice low and sultry. "Or maybe I just want you to take me right here in this car."

Rick's eyes widened at your boldness, and for a moment you thought he might actually give in to your demands. But then he shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips.

Rick pushed a hand against your chest, gently but firmly, conveying both his desire and authority, moving you back so he could access the button on your shorts, and, using just one hand, he undid it effortlessly. There was little space inside the tea green Hyundai SUV, hence the steering wheel digging your back as the man under you battled to roll your pants down.

"No panties?" You gave a feeble smile as the corners of your lips turned up when he realized you weren't wearing any underwear under your shorts. "You sure are a dirty little slut, ain't you?”

His large hands griped you tights, spreading your legs so you were stradling his lap. Your eyes closed, anticipation taking over you when his hard boner grazed your crotch through the denim fabric. You moaned in response to his fingers caresses in your cunt, which soon turned into a swifter rub, his middle and ring finger at both sides of your clit.

As the passion between you and Rick grew, you heard him whisper in your ear, "You can get louder, can't you?" and you responded by letting out a moan of pleasure.

The sound only seemed to encourage him as he continued to touch and explore your body, his hand working its way up under your shirt until he reached your tit, stroking it between his cold fingertips. You were completely under his spell, and you loved every moment of it.

A gasp left your mouth when he slided a finger inside you without prior notice.

“Rick.” you muttered in a submissive wail.

“What do you want, honey?” he teased, adding another finger to his pumping. “Is it me?”

You hummed in agreement, your eyes closed and head tilted backward as your walls squeezed his fingers. Signs of an impending orgasm emerged, the swell of bliss making its way up your core.

Yet, your expression of rapture quickly changed to one of disappointment when Rick's fingers left your hole, the sense of emptiness outweighing any pleasure.

"If you want to come, you better beg," he growled in your ear, and you knew you were completely under his control.

“Please, Rick” with a soft whimper, you begged him to take you, to make you his completely. “I want you, I want you to fill me.”

Without a second thought, his own urgency beyond human limits, Rick pulled the lever under the bottom of the seat, and it swung back, increasing the wiggrling space. He pulled up his shirt and pulled down his trousers before freeing his throbbing member from the suffocating fabric of his stone grey boxers.

At the sight, your mouth watered, and you eagerly mounted his erect, precum-dripping cock. you began to bounce up and down, your hips meeting in a sensual rhythm with each thrust.

"Attagirl," Rick praised you amidst his own gleefulness.

The car may have broken down and left you stranded on the side of the road, but in that moment, all you could think about was the intense desire that had overtaken your body. You wanted to feel Rick's hands over you, as your bodies melted into one, to be completely consumed by the zeal of this moment.

“Are you going to come for me, baby?” Rick whispered in your ear as you rode him, your hips moving faster and faster as you approached the brink of orgasm.

You moaned in response, your body writhing with pleasure as Rick's hands roamed over your body, touching you in all the right places as you rode him harder and harder.

You reached your peak, your body shaking with ecstasy as you came hard, your walls contracting around Rick's cock as he pumped into you one last time before spilling his own release inside you.

As you collapsed against his chest, breathing heavily, you couldn't help but think that getting stuck on the side of the road might have been the best thing that ever happened to you.

#twd #amc #the walking dead #twd x reader #twdxreader #rick grimes #rickgrimes #rick grimes fanfiction #rick grimes x female reader #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes smut #rick grimes x reader smut #rick grimes fluff #rick grimes x reader fluff #rick grimes x y/n #twd rick #grimes

[whiskey-bumblebee]

Let Me Put My Lips to Something

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Fem!Reader

Accessibility/Diversity notes: Reader taking birth control is central to the plot, in this one reader is a member of the BAU, reader has breasts and is shorter than hotch

Word Count: 3367

Warnings: extensive mentions of birth control, inappropriate workplace relationships, extensive innuendo, brief mention of guns

@ssamorganhotchner thank you for turning this into an actual idea <3 hope you enjoy ;)

It's been a few weeks since you stopped using birth control, and it's already affected your life more than you thought it would.

There was this guy you'd been seeing, Johnny, who was sweet enough, and patient with your hours. But as your hormones changed, it was as if he was a piece of fruit which had started to rot. You noticed that he chewed loudly, that he looked at your boobs instead of your face when you were talking, that his beard wasn't actually all that clean. His blue eyes, once kind and full of humour, started looking beady and demanding.

You sighed as you saw the three bubbles appear and disappear, bobbing up and down almost like a buoy in the ocean. He was clearly typing his response over and over. You couldn't blame him.

I'm so sorry, Johnny. I'm just finding it too hard to maintain a relationship and my job at the same time. I'm wishing you all the best. You're a lovely guy and I know you'll find an amazing person. Please, please understand that it's me, not you.

It was a neatly-crafted message. If only it was true.

In the end, he replied with a simple thumbs up and a smiley face.

Then there was your other problem. And here he was, right over your shoulder.

Aaron offered you a quick smile as he set your coffee down on your desk.

"Thanks, Hotch," You didn't look up, setting your phone face-down.

"You're welcome," He replied easily.

You and Hotch were working through some of the preliminary paperwork in some precinct in the middle of nowhere. Why didn't you ever have cases in the Catskills? Or Nantucket Island? Or Palm Springs?

Prentiss and Morgan were off doing interviews with locals, and Reid and JJ were... Honestly, you weren't actually sure. You weren't really listening. Your problem was requiring more of your attention than you'd like to admit. It was embarrassing, frankly. And now that he was back from the coffee run, your limited run of productivity would come to an end again.

Fortunately, if he'd noticed that you were having to re-read everything five times to comprehend it, he didn't mention it.

You tapped your pen irritatedly against the top corner of the file, and curled your hand into a fist over and over again, trying to work out some of your tension.

Sighing again, you took a sip of your coffee to try and still your mind. It was so fucking frustrating. Normally, you were sharp. Normally, you were an adult who could tune everything out. You were a good agent, it's what got you hired in the first place.

With your mind racing, you missed the table when you went to set your coffee down. You reacted just in time to catch it, but it sent a few drops splattering onto your pants nonetheless.

"Crap," You breathed.

Hotch raised his eyebrows at you. "Everything okay?"

You squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath, fighting hard not to shout at him.

"Okay," He said, finally. "What's going on with you?"

"I spilled some coffee," You gestured towards your lap.

He left his desk and you watched as he asked one of the local officers something. He turned around and made eye contact with you, and you didn't care enough to pretend that you hadn't been looking at him. He gestured for you to come over to them.

"There's a bathroom just down the hall. They have a Tide pen for emergencies."

You nodded and walked in the direction he'd pointed in. You heard him following you, and you rolled your eyes.

"I'll be fine, Hotch."

He kept following you.

"I want to ask you something," He said firmly.

This side of the precinct was quieter, near the break room and the supply closet. If there was a place to yell at your boss, this was it. So you stopped, and turned to face him.

"Hotch, I'll be-"

"No," He shook his head. "What is going on with you? If there's something affecting your ability to work on this case, I need to know."

You glanced down either side of the hallway and tugged Hotch into the bathroom. He looked startled as you closed the door behind the both of you.

"This isn't appropriate-"

"You said you wanted to know." You said, lowering your voice. "So I'm going to tell you."

You walked towards him until his back was against the locked bathroom door. He put his hand on his hip, running his large hand over the fabric. For a moment it almost looked like he was going to touch himself. The thought made your knees weak. You closed your eyes and tried to steady yourself.

When you opened your eyes again, you realized he was searching your face for any indication of what was going on. He looked scared, and you glanced down at the hand that had been wandering his hip. It had stilled, now, and you realized that he was gripping his gun.

You backed up completely.

For a fleeting moment, you were grateful that this was one of the bigger station bathrooms you'd been in. There was an open shower, a sink, and a toilet, which gave you a little more space to put between you.

Hotch said your name softly. "You're scaring me," He whispered. "Please."

You rested your head against the cool, tiled wall behind you. "I'm off my birth control. And it's affecting me."

"Oh," Hotch replied, and you could have counted the ways the tension visibly melted off him. Most importantly, he wasn't holding onto his gun for dear life. "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me-"

Your gaze flicked up to meet his, and he immediately stopped talking.

"It's affecting me because I had to break things off with this guy that I've been seeing, and I should be sad, but the only thing I can think about is you." Your sentence started off strong, and waned until you could barely whisper the last word.

"It's nothing to do with you, you're not leading me on," You said quietly, trying to reassure him. "I never used to think about you, but now... The way you look, the way your suits fit, the way you smell-"

Your voice gave way to an almost-silent moan and you tipped your head back, closing your eyes. Sure enough, underneath the smell of bleach and paper towels, there was his scent. Certain, confident, bold, clean, distinctive.

"I'm sorry," You whispered, your eyes still closed. "I know it's unprofessional, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

You blinked your eyes open, and Hotch was a shade of red you'd never seen before.

"I promise, it's just pheromones or something, it's just while my hormones are regulating and then I'll be back to normal," You said quickly.

"I'm not sure," He started. "...how to address this."

You found yourself wishing that the ground would open up and swallow you.

"Do you need to fly back to Washington? I could wear a different cologne, or..."

He was more flustered than you'd ever seen him.

You shook your head. "If it would make you more comfortable, I can take sick leave until I'm over it," You sighed. "I wish it could have been anyone else. If it was Derek, or my barista, or anyone..."

A flicker of something resembling offence slipped across his face, but it was gone just as soon as it appeared.

"I'm going to say something," He said lowly. "And if you say no, we can pretend I never said anything, right?"

You nodded, and watched as he chewed his bottom lip. "Right."

"Would it help to get it out of your system?"

Your breath caught in your throat. It was the only thing you'd been able to think about for days, and here he was, offering it to you on a silver platter, no questions asked.

"Hotch," You breathed, staring at his lips. "God, yes."

"Okay." He nodded. "How do we do this?"

Without even thinking about it, you were walking over to him, and once again, his back was pressed to the bathroom door. He was taller than you, but his breaths were short, his chest heaving, and he was watching you, no idea what your next move would be.

You cupped his jaw and immediately, your brain knew it was wrong. This was Hotch, the person who signed off on everything you did at work. He was your boss, and his skin was warm in your palm. There was the slightest sensation of stubble against your skin. Your whole body felt hazy and warm, like you were swimming in a lava lamp.

You leaned into him, and he leaned into you. Inch by inch, you neared each other until your lips were touching from sheer proximity, rather than pressure. His breath smelled like the black coffee he'd been drinking, and his shirt was soft beneath your fingertips. He rubbed your nose against yours, nuzzling into you.

Then his mouth was on yours, and his thin lips parted easily. All of this tension, all of this agony, and he was kissing you like a whore the second you asked for it. His tongue traced the tip of yours experimentally, then slipped underneath your tongue, testing how easily you'd let him take control. You gasped for breath, inhaling deeply through your nose and curling your tongue against his. He smiled into the kiss and traced the shape of your tensed tongue, then leaned back slightly. You followed him, not wanting the moment to end. He ran his tongue over your lower lip as he slipped away, nipping your lip as he went. You moaned and pressed your lips against his, so hard that you felt like they might bruise.

His hands dropped to your hips, squeezing you tenderly. He manipulated your hips so you were at a slight angle, and he pressed his erection against your body, dragging himself back and forth. He gasped quietly and dropped his head back against the door, finally breaking the kiss.

"Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?"

"You really think you're the first person I've fucked in a bathroom?" He breathed against your ear.

Your eyes were wide when you looked up at him, and he cupped your cheek, bringing an edge of affection to the whole affair. He held your gaze for a while, and you couldn't read his expression, but you had a strong sense he was trying to tell you something.

With his other hand, he guided your hand towards his cock. "Is this what you've been thinking about?"

There was a sharp knock on the door, and Derek called your name. "You alright?"

You dropped your hand back to your side, taking a step back.

"I'm fine," You called through the door. "Could you bring my go bag and make sure nobody else comes down this corridor?"

"You got it," He replied, and you heard his footsteps receding.

Hotch cleared his throat. Suddenly, you couldn't look him in the eye, so you turned away, washing your hands.

"It's probably for the best," You said quietly. "We can forget about this, right? Like you said?"

You knew you were lying as the words passed your lips. If anything, the beast inside you was snarling in its cage, clawing at the inside of your stomach, more desperate than ever. You'd had a taste, and now you had the hunger.

"Right," Hotch replied quietly.

Turning around to drop the used paper towel in the bin, you saw that he was staring at the floor. In slow motion, his gaze tracked up your body towards your face.

"Fuck it," You breathed, closing the gap between you and kissing him, both of your hands pressed to his cheeks.

His hand came to the back of your neck, his thumb stroking the tender skin there. He murmured your name.

He turned away from the kiss. "You should wait for your hormones to settle. You're not thinking straight."

"It can mean nothing," You said, trying not to let your voice drop into a desperate whine.

Hotch let go of you completely, his hand resting on the door handle.

"It won't mean nothing to me," He breathed, and left before the words had time to sink in.

________

You know that something's really wrong because the team doesn't even tease you about the fact that you and Hotch were in a bathroom together. The car ride to the hotel was completely silent. Hotch was driving one car, and you'd been obvious about making sure you were in the other one.

JJ walked into the bathroom while you were brushing your teeth. Her face was apologetic as she handed you your phone.

"It's him," She said quietly.

You spat out the toothpaste and rinsed it down the drain.

"Am I going to lose my job?" You whispered.

She shook her head.

Taking the phone from her hand, you read the text quickly.

I'm sorry for questioning your judgment.

It's fine, You quickly typed back, hitting send. You were right.

For the second time that day, you watched the three dots bob on your screen, except this time you found yourself actually caring what would eventually pop out of them.

I could have done it if you meant less to me. That kiss was...

Heat rushed to your face, and you locked your phone, slamming it face down onto the bathroom counter.

JJ looked alarmed. "What? Please tell me you're not getting fired."

You shook your head. "Can we talk about it, actually?"

She nodded quickly, and you grabbed your phone, walking over to your bed. You crossed your legs and she sat on her bed, facing you.

She smiled at you encouragingly, but her expression was laced with worry.

"I stopped my birth control because it was starting to have some really bad side effects," You began. "And I'd heard that sometimes your mood changes, your taste in people changes..."

She nodded again.

"And," You breathed deeply. "For some reason, I'm like, super attracted to Hotch now. And it's making it really difficult to concentrate. He asked me about it, so I told him."

"Oh my-" JJ stopped herself. "That was brave."

You shook your head. "That's not it. At that point we were arguing in the bathroom, so there was nobody else around, and... We kissed. And it was... crazy."

JJ shook her head with surprise. "What? You and Hotch?"

You nodded.

"So what did he text you?"

You passed her your phone, and she read the last few messages. "Oh, wow. What does he mean about your judgment?"

"We were going to do more, and then he said that we shouldn't, because my hormones are all over the place, which is true."

"You should reply," She said. "He's probably panicking. It's way out of his comfort zone to be so open."

"I have no idea what to say," You sighed.

"Well, don't you want to... you know?"

Despite everything, you laughed. "Yeah, I mean. I still find him attractive. And he's a nice guy, and god... today..." You fanned your face.

"So what's stopping you?" JJ smiled genuinely.

"He said something."

She frowned.

"Promise this will stay between us?" You said.

"For sure."

"I said that it didn't have to mean anything, and he said that it wouldn't mean nothing to him."

"Oh, wow," JJ said again. "So he likes you?"

You buried your face in your hands. "I don't know. And now I feel like an asshole because it's like... It's like I have this power over him, and now that my hormones have changed, he has a chance. Do you know what I mean? It's like in high school, when the popular girl all of a sudden changes her mind about the nice guy, and it's like, no, you don't deserve him, this whole time he's been pining over you and you never even noticed," You rambled.

"Well," She said slowly. "I'm a big believer in following your heart. And if your heart is saying that the kiss really was something, then... I think it does mean something, even if you don't want it to."

You flopped back onto the bed. "You're right."

JJ moved to sit beside you on your bed.

You picked up your phone, pulling up your messages with Hotch.

I need you. You typed. My body isn't letting me lie to myself anymore. I need you, Aaron. And I need you tonight. I don't mean that I need your body. I mean that I need you in a way that I find fucking terrifying

You showed the draft message to JJ. "It's coming on a little strong, but?"

JJ nodded. "If it's true, then it's perfect. He's been hurt before. He needs the truth. And honestly," She stroked your forehead. "I think he needs you too."

You were silent.

"I think that's why the team has been so careful around you both today. Maybe you never noticed, but it feels like everyone except you and Hotch saw this coming. And all at once, it happened and then immediately unhappened."

"Really?" You hadn't realized you'd been holding your breath.

She nodded. "It's like your perfect person has been there all along, and neither of you noticed."

You pressed send.

If you're mocking me, I want your two weeks notice on my desk by Monday. If you're serious, we should talk, He replied.

Your phone vibrated again.

You know where my room is.

_____

Your fingertips traced the skin of his back gently. The room was dark, curtains closed, lights off, except the light in the bathroom, which provided just enough light that you could make out Aaron's silhouette.

"Did you finish?" He murmured, nuzzling into your chest.

"Three times," You laughed. "You're an excellent lay."

He chuckled quietly, the sound muffled into your skin.

"We didn't get to talking," He said.

"How long have you...?"

He swallowed. "A while."

One of his thick fingers traced the shape of your left nipple. You reacted without meaning to, arching your back into his touch and sighing happily.

He watched your reaction, and the spark of arousal caught fire when you realized what he was doing. He was studying your body, the way it reacted to him. He was memorizing what made you tick.

"Today," You started quietly. "You reached for your gun when I came towards you. Were you really scared of me?"

He shook his head. "It was just muscle memory. I think you could hurt me if you wanted to, but I knew you wouldn't."

"I've never felt anything like that before. Needing something, someone, like that. I can't even describe it," You said, rambling into the dark quietness of the room.

"Trust me, I know the feeling," He breathed, taking your nipple into his mouth.

"Aaron," You moaned. "We should get some sleep."

"We should," He replied, sighing and rolling onto his back. You took advantage of his new position to rest your head on his shoulder, draping your arm over his stomach.

"I think this was meant to happen," You whispered, afraid that saying it out loud might shatter this fragile thing that was starting to form. "I know it's going to be complicated, but I feel like I was made for you."

He wrapped his arm around you. "You're perfect. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

You thumbed his chin. "Don't try and be the hero. I like you, Aaron. I want you to be lucky to have me." You smiled, leaning in for a short kiss. "If you want me, I'm right here."

He smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Oh honey, you already have me."

A happy sigh left your chest, and before long, you were asleep, feeling safe and comfortable for the first time in... forever.

A thousand different thoughts were running through Hotch's head. It only took one look at your body curled against his own for those doubts to cease.

"We'll work it out," He whispered. "I was made to love you."

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner/reader #hotch x reader #hotch smut #hotch fluff #hotch one shot #my writing #fanfic #criminal minds #bau!reader #hotch

[ghouljams]

Build Me a Castle of Memories Rating: M Word Count: 6.8k Tags: hurt/comfort, christmas fic, Ghostxf!oc/f!reader, background Pricexf!oc, dissociation, anxiety, grief, 09 Ghost's backstory, Ghost reconciling with his past, dad!Ghost, baby oc Summary: Ghost has never had what you would call a happy Christmas, but you have and that chafes more than he wants it to. He wishes it didn't, but he doesn't know how to stop it. Maybe he was doomed from the start.

“Simon, wake the fuck up, we got chores.”

Ghost folds his pillow over his ears and rolls over, away from the pounding of your fist against the door. There’s nowhere to escape the noise in the little one room house, but damn if he can’t try. He presses the pillow more tightly against his ears, squeezes his eyes shut. He feels like a kid again, your insistent knocking filling in holes in his memory he’d rather forget.

His father banging on the door, screaming as he tries to shield Tommy. His mother’s voice attempting to pacify him. The crack of skin against skin, the soft shocked noise that comes from being struck. A sharp yelp, a plea, but the banging on the door doesn’t stop.

Ghost jerks awake again. His mind struggling to disconnect from the past and focus on the present. How long have you been trying to wake him? He tosses the quilt off and grabs his mask. He needs to get away from this memory, and you’re just in time to help. The mask is pulled on as he goes to yank the door open. 

You stare up at him, unapologetic for the early hour. Actually you look a little annoyed it took him so long to get up. Your eyes drop down, and Ghost leans against the door frame to let you look. One nice thing about Texas he supposes, it’s still warm in the winter. Warm enough he doesn’t need more than a pair of shorts to sleep in. 

Your eyes pull back up to meet his and he cocks a brow.

You’re cute in an oversized jumper and shorts. He wonders if you’ve started chores, must have since your boots already have mud on them. “Is it a Ghost day today?” You ask, referring to his mask. He hums. 

“What do you need, Princess?” He’s already tired of the direction this conversation is taking. Better to keep you both on track and avoid unnecessary topics. December is starting to chafe despite the climate. The feed store had giant candy canes out front the last time he passed it, and a tree lot has already been erected by the church. Must be a merry time of year, not that Ghost’s ever enjoyed it.

“Momma wants the Christmas tubs, and I need another set of hands with the trailer.” You explain, dangling the keys from your fingers. Ghost hums again, you shouldn’t have trouble with a few boxes of decorations, not enough to need his help at least. It’s a good excuse to grab some time alone with you though, one he’s happy to take.

You’re always a welcome distraction from the tightness in his chest.

“Lemme get my boots,” He grumbles, turning back into the house. He leaves the door open for you, knows you’ll follow him in and make yourself at home. It’s charming, you’re charming, if a little annoying.

Sure enough the door clicks shut behind him, and he hears you fussing in the kitchen with the kettle. Ghost is tightening his belt when you offer him a to-go mug of tea. It always tastes better when you make it, the thermos is warmer, the bitterness a little softer, the sugar a little sweeter. 

He burns his tongue on the scalding liquid as you pluck his hat from the coat rack by the door and settle it on your head. You toss a smile over your shoulder at him, and it’s like a sunrise over the hills.

The darkness of memory scurries back where he can lock it. The house feels gentler somehow, he feels gentler. Softer around the edges when he rubs his thumb against your cheek. 

“Come on ya big softy,” You laugh, patting his chest, “The quicker we get started the quicker we get done.”

Ghost huffs, “They’re Christmas decorations, how long could they take?”

-

Ten tubs in Ghost decides your mother is insane.

The shed that they’re all in seems dedicated solely to Christmas decor. There are light up reindeer and inflatables, boxes overflowing with lights, and tubs. Tubs upon tubs of heavy ass decor. You hand him another box to find space for on the trailer and Ghost is forced to reconcile with the fact you’re hardly breaking a sweat. You give a soft noise of effort when you lift a tub from the floor or pull one off a tower, but otherwise… Ghost spends a fair amount of time on the walk between the shed and trailer thinking about it. 

Maybe they’re not that heavy.

He comes back to the shed to see you stripping your jumper off, the dark tank top underneath hits him like a train. You fold your jumper neatly and place it on top of the tub you lift off the ground with a huff. You blink at him when you turn to take it to the trailer, and a smile creeps over your face. 

“Pick your jaw up baby, you’ve seen worse than this,” You tease, shouldering past him just to bump his arm with yours. Baby. You could call him anything you wanted and he’d have to stop himself from following after you. How can one little word make his chest swell and tighten?

How could he ever want to raise a hand to someone that made him feel like this?

Fifteen tubs, nine light up reindeer, and more lights than Ghost has ever seen. He boxes you in as you’re locking up, leaning heavily against his arm on the shed door. You turn to lean against the rough wood as you tuck the key back into your pocket. He holds your chin with his fingers, thumb rubbing against your skin as he takes you in. You give him a confused sort of smile and settle your pretty hands on his chest.

“You ok, big guy?” You ask, your voice light to disguise your concern. Ghost tips his head, quiet. It’s the season, he wants to say. It’s bitterness and resentment that creeps in every year at this time. It’s the smiles of kids swinging their parent’s hands and chattering about santa. It’s the sun shining and the wind blowing without a chill, like it would hate to ruin a perfect December with snow. 

“Fine,” Ghost tells you. Your brows twitch down like you don’t believe him. He kisses you quick before you can ask again. 

-

“Swear you got more of this stuff every year,” Price gripes back at the house, his smile telling Ghost he truly doesn’t mind. Your mother eagerly pops the lids off each tub to inspect the contents before telling Price where to take it. It’s a slow process, slower than the initial loading, but easy enough. Ghost takes a huge tub from you, this one clearly labeled “garlands.” It’s unwieldy, but not too heavy. He shifts it up over his shoulder to get it up the steps to the farm house’s front door. 

“Thank you for helping Simon,” You mom smiles at him, her hand light on his arm. Something about her touch sears against his skin, her smile chokes him, he’s glad for his mask as he holds her gaze. He nods and continues into the house.

Outside he can hear your mom arguing with you about something. A well meaning sort of tone that carries through the air without yelling, never yelling. Your huffing and whining hardly seem to break the atmosphere. No harsh words, no physical altercation, no familiar ending. 

Price passes Ghost on his way out and pauses. His eyes dart to him as he brushes past before he’s out the door again. Ghost sets the tub in the living room with the others. He pats the top, stares at the red lid, pats it again. His stomach twists. He pats it again.

Why can’t he move away?

He pats it. Job done. So why is he still standing there? 

He pops the lid off the tub and stares at the pine green garlands, nestled in with fake snow and little red baubles. Christmas-y. His fingers skim the fake needles. Plastic, of course, crushed and bent in places from years of wear. Where do these go? Ghost glances around the room, it feels smaller with all the tubs. The first garland has been lifted from its place by the time you wander by with your own tub, and your jumper on.

“Better leave it, Momma’s particular about her decoratin’,” You tell him, setting your box on the dining table. Despite your warning you tug your tub open and pull tablecloths and centerpieces free. Apparently you’re allowed to help past moving boxes. 

Ghost drops the garland back into its tub and presses the lid shut. He goes to grab another box.

-

For how many tubs there were, the actual decorating goes fast. “Plenty of hands,” You mum, Duck, she told him to call her Duck, tells him with a smile.

There’s a heavy weight on Ghost’s chest, something too large to wrap his arms around. He doesn’t say much as he helps get reindeer plugged in, and fluffy cotton snow tucked around ceramic houses. He finds himself outside with a cigarette between his fingers more often than he’d care to admit. The choke of smoke in his lungs is more familiar an ache than the other one. Nameless, because to name it would mean acknowledging it. 

Ghost watches the wind rustle through the dry grass, his eyes trained on the wide horizon. He wishes he could change the shape of his shadow, knock off the parts that dig into his skin. He’s tired. Maybe he should find somewhere to go for the next few weeks, get away from the festivities. Just for a while. Just until it stops hurting. The screen door knocks against the frame behind him.

“You’re quiet,” You lean against the porch railing, eyeing him. You’re so damn observant it kills him. Ghost snubs his cigarette on the ashtray next to him and lets the last of the smoke leave his lungs.

“So I’ve heard.” He tells you, turning to push past you and back into the house. If he stays around you too long he might say something he can’t take back. It’s better like this.

Price is busy enough with the upstairs decorations that Ghost doesn’t feel bad making a beeline for the living room. Red and green cover the place. The mantle over the fireplace hosts a christmas village, the couch boasts flannel throws and christmas pillows, miniature christmas trees in various styles are set on every horizontal surface. Somehow the room feels warmer, the twinkle of fairy lights giving everything a soft glow. 

How could he have anything to say around this? All this- Fucking hell why do you have to be one of these families? A happy family. You don’t even have a proper tree yet but there are already presents set in the corner Price partitioned off as the “tree spot.” 

Ghost rubs his thumb against one of the garlands hung up around the entryway. So this is where they went. Your- Duck waves him over when he makes eye contact, offers him a baby of a hammer and a few tiny nails.

“Make yourself useful and tack up the cotton,” she smiles at him. He gives a short nod and follows the line of her fingers to the line of cotton circling the room, nestled neatly over a thick garland. Duck surrenders the step ladder to him and Ghost is quick to take over. He tucks the cotton into place and pushes the little nail into it, taps it with the head of the little hammer.

“We have to re-plaster every other year or so,” Duck says behind him, filling the silence with her voice.

“I can tell,” Ghost grumbles, eyeing the little holes that dot the wall. He tacks another length of cotton snow to the wall, squishes it up against the ceiling and drives the nail in. He looks back down at Duck and holds his hand out for more cotton. She’s already holding the next batch of it, apparently well versed in this whole decorating business. 

“You should’ve seen the wall before we started fixing it,” She hums, “years and years of holes.” Ghost says nothing. These holes are nothing. Years and years of holes knocked into walls, covered by picture frames and curtains. “Most of these decorations have been in the family for years,” She tells him, background noise to the drone of his thoughts, “We still use my mom’s plates for Christmas dinner.”

“You ever broken one?” He asks, feeling his throat tighten as soon as the words are out. He squeezes his fist, the points of the nails digging into the meat of his palm. 

“Of course,” Duck’s tone is alien to him, it’s all alien to him, “that’s what happens with old things, but I don’t need the plates to remember her.”

Ghost stares at the wall, the plastic needles of the garland, the red bows and white cotton. He bounces the weight of the hammer against his fingers, unseeing. There’s something at the edges of the statement that feels targeted, that speaks to an understanding he wishes she didn’t have. You don’t know me, it says, but I know you. Something wet tickles his fingers, he can feel the warmth of it dripping from his grip. 

Remember when you had things you could carry with you? He asks himself. Pictures, smiles, something more than a memory? When’s the last time he visited their graves? Are they clean? Has anyone brought them flowers?

“They’re just things Simon,” his memory whispers, voice watery, like it doesn’t want him to see it cry.

Someone touches his arm, and asks, “Simon?” in a voice so close to his mother’s that he jumps, and nearly topples off the step ladder. A pair of hands press to his back to keep him steady.

“I’ll be alright,” his memory finishes, like a hand stroking his hair. He feels small. It hurts.

He drops the nails from his hand, lets the hammer fall free as he grips his wrist with a shuddering breath. Shit. Small puncture wounds dot his palm, nails still clinging to the meaty base of his thumb. He focuses on his breathing, pushing the pain down into its tightly lidded container as he steps down off the ladder.

Duck grabs his hand before he can shoulder past her towards the bathroom, inspecting the damage. Damn doctor. She clicks her tongue, the same way you do when you’re upset. She spreads his fingers out, opens his hand as she prods around the blood.

“Doesn’t look like any permanent damage done,” She smiles up at him, a mother’s smile where he’d hoped to see a doctor’s, “Just needs cleaned up.” Simon swallows.

“Let’s get it over with.” He responds, the same way he always does to medical.

-

Ghost studies his bandaged hand in the quiet of his bathroom, water patters against the tile of his shower in the silence. Plain gauze and bandaging, the same as it always is. No stitches needed. No permanent damage. Just plain gauze. And bandaging.

He rubs his thumb against the rough bandage, feeling its familiarity.

He sighs and leans back against the sink, presses his hand over his eyes to block the buzz of the overhead light. How much longer does he have to wait before it all stops hurting? 

-

Things quiet down after the house is decorated. The holiday lulls into something almost palatable. You’re over less. In the week following Ghost finds himself sleeping alone three days in a row, finds himself unable to sleep when he does have you in bed with him. You hug close against his chest, your legs tangled with his and your breaths soft and even. He can’t lose the time he has with you to sleep, his lips press against your forehead as he feels like an outsider in his own skin.

“You should come stay in the main house,” You offer over your coffee, “until the holiday is over.” Ghost hums.

“Wouldn’t want to disturb the Christmas cheer,” He sips his tea, scrolling through the news on his phone. Never anything good, never anything that makes him happy he left the service.

“I want you there,” You press, “we want you there.” You always do that, make it sound like you aren’t enough to convince him, like he needs more than you to ask for something before he grants it. 

“I like my space,” He looks up from his phone, and his heart twists at the sadness in your eyes, he fixes his eyes back on his phone, “I’ll think about it.”

“Maybe closer to Christmas? I know it’s not-” You hesitate, he hates hearing you hesitate, it doesn’t sound right to his ear when your confidence wavers, “With my parents around, I know it’s not ideal, or romantic, but-”

“I don’t like sleeping alone either,” Ghost finishes for you, swallowing his own feelings down, “I’ll think about it princess, promise.”

“Ok,” You smile, and kick your feet up into his lap under the table. 

He spends the whole day thinking about it. Spends the day thinking about sleeping in a guest room, about seeing Price in the morning outside the bathroom, about family meals, about waking up surrounded by cheer when he feels anything but cheerful. He walks into the kitchen to grab lunch and finds the counters covered in unfrosted Christmas cookies, sprinkles and colorful icing laid out with joyful care. It makes his chest tighten uncomfortably, his memory working overtime to remind him of the clatter of baking sheets and the shouting that comes after the smell of burning flesh. 

He skips lunch.

There’s something broken in him, Ghost knows that better than anyone, but he can’t stop the sharp edges of it from cutting. There’s something angry clawing at his ribs, licking his scars until they itch, choking his throat with dirt and earth. He snaps at Price while the cattle files past, and wishes his captain wasn’t so damn sturdy. “I know son,” Price tells him easily. It hurts more than it has any right to. All of it hurts more than he knows it should.

He holds you in bed at night and stares at the wall, tracing the path of the moon by the light it casts through the windows. He just needs to make it through the holiday.

-

Easier said than done.

Christmas seems to take over the ranch the closer the holiday gets. Presents appear piled under the tree, cookies tower on plates just out of reach of the dog, carols seem to always be playing, and the television happily hums with every holiday movie he could think of. You catch him under a mistletoe and Ghost feels like he’s quickly reaching a boiling point. Your joy, usually so infectious, now seems tailor made to destroy him. 

He’s not mad at you, he knows he isn’t, knows exactly what this feeling is. It’s the same feeling he had in primary school watching other kids excitedly chatter about Christmas plans. Jealousy. Why did the universe see fit to give everyone else a happy family but him? He was just a kid. Kids don’t deserve that. Why did he have to go home to hell when you came home to Christmas carols and twinkling lights? 

He tried so hard to be good,

And it never mattered.

Still, he doesn’t want to ruin the holiday for you. He follows you around town while you Christmas shop, smiles when you smile, offers you new jokes to hear you laugh, stops to look at the little display in the antique store window. Somehow it cheers him up, buying you a gift. It feels small, but genuine. He tucks the little felt lined box into his pocket and rubs his thumb against it when his thoughts start to drift away from you. 

You squeeze his hand, your fingers intertwined as you walk. It feels reassuring for the first time in days.

-

With your gift in the back of his mind Ghost finally feels like he’s getting a handle on the whole Christmas situation. He can do this for you, he can give you a good holiday. You deserve a good holiday, even if he feels like a recruit getting pushed into action without so much as a vest. It still chafes at him, but Ghost has gotten good at ignoring uncomfortable feelings over the years. He shoves down the green eyed monster, and tries to throw a tarp over the old wounds that threaten to reopen. 

He ignores the twitch of your mother’s brows, the clench of Price’s jaw, your hopeful smile. It’s strange how… easy it is to join the holiday, like you’d been waiting for him, holding a place for him to slot into. The warmth of it sinks into him, wraps around him gently where he’d thought it would try to pierce him. 

He still hasn’t worked up the courage to take you up on your offer. He can’t look at you when he leaves, can’t see that tinge of disappointment in your eyes. It feels colder when he goes back to his little house. You’re so busy with your family, and he’s been holding himself back from you. He’s never been a coward before, but it’s better than the alternative. Better than letting you know how hurt he is, how broken he is to be jealous of your happiness.

Ghost tugs the towel off his mirror and stares down his reflection. His fingers squeeze the edge of the sink, knuckles white as he leans against the porcelain. It’s the season, he tells himself for the hundredth time, but it isn’t, is it? There’s a piece of his father lodged in his soul, dark and cloying, desperate to get out of the cage Simon shoved it in. The little voice in his head that asks why anyone else should have something nice if he didn’t get to. 

He grips the sink tighter, keeps his eyes focused on their reflection. 

The world is unfair and cruel. That’s why he joined the military, to even the scales. It’s his mum’s fault really. He swallows the lump in his throat. God she would have loved this, loved all this Christmas bullshit, pushed him to enjoy it, pushed him to stop holding you at arms length. She would have loved you, and you would’ve gotten on with Tommy like a house on fire.

The sink cracks under his hand.

It’s shallow, but he hears the break like a bell. It pulls his attention from the mirror as he rips his hand away and inspect the damage. He shoves down the guilt that tries to bubble to the surface. This is exactly why he’s keeping his distance. He wouldn’t be able to survive hurting you, can’t stomach the thought. He’s not his father, he can give you a good Christmas. He’s going to give you a good Christmas.

He’ll kill himself before he puts you through the sort of holidays he had.

-

Christmas eve creeps up without Ghost realizing, and all of a sudden he can't escape the warmth of the main house. There are no chores for him to do, you and Price having gotten up early to finish them. There's no help he can offer, Duck shoos him out of the kitchen. Every time he attempts to leave you drag him back to the couch. It's suffocating. Price follows him out to the porch to smoke, and he realizes he hasn't had a moment to himself in hours. Ghost can't turn a corner without bumping into someone. You're all just… hovering.

And yet no one has said anything. That almost makes it worse. The atmosphere inside the house is warm and festive, but Ghost can't help being reminded of a funeral. It's the sort of long dirge that seems to have no end in sight covered in a Christmas carol. There's plenty Ghost can ignore, but this is pushing it. He's both scrutinized and ignored.

You laugh and make jokes, Price snags cookies off the plate, Duck asks about santa. The dog is handed a bone and jumps around excitedly. The lights twinkle and carols ring through the house. Ghost doesn't think he's said a word in an hour, there's no point. “Big family syndrome” Soap had said once, “makes ya louder even when there's just the two of ya.”

It's too loud. It's too normal. It's too happy when he feels like he's going to break. All of the anger and hurt in his chest that wants so desperately to explode only makes it that much worse. He can't do this.

Ghost pushes back from the table when you settle your hand on his knee. He balls up his napkin and tosses it onto the table, turning to leave as your chair scrapes against the floor. He hardly hears when you call after him.

He just needs a minute of silence, a moment for his grief. He just needs two Goddamn seconds where he doesn't have to pretend he didn't lose everything. Where he can hate Christmas in peace.

Ghost presses his hands against his eyes, he can’t stem the stream of anger and hurt that pounds at his ribs. Why? Why can’t he push this down like he always has? Why does it feel so much bigger, so much meaner? It's never been this bad before, he's never had grief boil like this.

He doesn’t raise his head to the crunch of hay underfoot. You’re coming to try and comfort him, he supposes. He doesn’t want you to see him like this. 

“Go away princess,” He grits, as you take a seat next to him.

“Oh that’s cute,” You mother hums, “she is like a princess isn’t she.”

Ghost looks up from his hands, glares at Duck to try and dissuade this line of conversation. Somehow this feels worse than if you or Price had come after him. He doesn’t know your mother well enough to anticipate her script. Open water without a life vest.

“I like to come out here when I’m upset too,” Duck smiles, looking out the open barn doors. The texas sky is darkening, the first pinpricks of starlight starting to make their appearance. Somehow it feels like Christmas, even without the cold.

“I’m fine,” Ghost looks towards the doors too, clasps his hands together where he leans over his knees. Duck hums again, quiet and patient. So assured that Ghost would spill his heart to her that he almost wants to. When he glances at her again she isn’t looking at him, her eyes watching one of the barn cats sleep with a soft smile.

“You know the first christmas I had with John was two years after Goose was born,” She tells him, “he was still in his fatigues, fresh from the airport, and I was so mad at him-” She laughs, “-because he didn’t want to hold her for a picture.” Something in her smile strikes Ghost as sad, he can’t take his eyes off of her. “He said he didn't want to get blood on her, and I-” a shaky breath “-I don’t know. Eight months in combat and he couldn’t touch his daughter, I just wanted to make him forget about it.”

“That’s your sob story?” Ghost raises a brow.

“That’s why our Christmases look like this,” Duck turns to him, “I’m sure your mother had the same thought.”

“You don’t know my mother,” Ghost grits, squeezing his hands tighter, “There wasn’t any- We never had a happy Christmas, the old man wouldn’t have allowed that.”

His father always felt so big. Always stood so tall and hit so hard. He was impossible to go against, impossible to ignore, the threat of him always hanging over Simon’s head. Christmas especially he seemed to haunt, a monster around the corner ready to pounce. He delighted in others' misery, it was no wonder he seemed to take such joy in destroying the holiday.

There was no father Christmas, no meal good enough, no decoration that didn’t end up destroyed. Good china smashed and ornaments shattered. Just things, his mum would say wiping snot from his nose, not worth the tears.

“It couldn’t have all been bad,” Duck tells him quietly, “your mum wouldn’t let it all be bad,” her grip on his hand tightens, “I wouldn’t.”

“It was all shite,” Ghost assures her with a harsh chuckle. “Just about the only Christmas that went well was-” Ghost stops, frowns as he stares out of the barn. Duck is quiet next to him, letting him sink into the memory. The first Christmas after he kicked his dad out. The first Christmas after Tommy had Joseph, his pudgy little fingers reaching for the shiny ornaments on the little tree they had. His mum had baked cookies. It was the first time she’d actually managed to get them all iced without anyone storming in to scream at her, or throw the tray on the floor. They’d sat on the floor playing Father Christmas, passing out presents with smiles. It was warm, and quiet. Just how he’d always wanted it to be.

Duck’s hand cups his face, her thumb brushing against his cheek with a startling gentleness. Simon looks at her and she smiles at him, something warm and watery in her eyes. He feels the tightness in his throat reflected back to him, feels the wetness tracing lines over his cheeks brushed away with care.

“You two would’ve gotten on like-” He shakes his head, looks away from the ache in his chest, “Doesn’t matter now.”

“She would’ve been proud of you,” Duck says, and it hits him like a bullet through the heart, “I am. We all are.”

And he realizes where you get it from, realizes why you change your ‘I’s to ‘we’s. It’s not a worry that you won’t be enough, it’s an assurance that he has more than just you. 

Simon looks at his hands, unclasps them to rub his thumb against the pinprick scabs that dot his palm. It hurts, the ball of grief in his chest bounces around hitting nerves and making everything feel bigger and scarier than it is. It eclipses everything, impossible to ignore. Duck settles a hand on his shoulder and grief presses too hard against his throat. His vision swims, and a tear falls into his hand. Duck squeezes his shoulder, an ever present warmth at his side as Simon tries to stem the flow. 

“It gets easier,” Duck's voice is soft, sympathetic, “but the good times always hurt worse than the bad ones.” Simon shakes his head, and looks at her over his shoulder, she swallows down the sadness in her smile. “I'm sorry baby,” she tells him, her sincerity hitting him the same as Price's, “I'm so sorry.”

Simon nods, he feels small and far away. He's too big to want to be held like a child, too old, yet Duck pulls him into her arms and he can't do anything but curl into her grip. His hands grip her jumper tight, keeping her held in place as he takes the offered comfort like a starving child takes grapes from the pale man’s table. There’s no judgement as tears stain her sweater, no harsh words or calls for him to “be a man”, only the quiet of the barn as Simon lets himself feel the grief he’d been avoiding all month. For years really. Ever since he found his family dead, felt the cold grasp of understanding wrap around him that he’d never have the sort of Christmas normal people have.

Not when his gifts were soaked in blood, not when he burned the last good things in his life.

“Why don’t you stay with Goosey tonight?” Duck offers, cutting through the tears, “The guest room is a mess, and I know she won’t mind.”

Of course you won’t, you’ve been trying to hold onto him all month. Trying to pull him out of the past as desperately as he was trying to avoid it. The first good thing in this chapter of his life. He should’ve been holding onto you, not pushing you away.

“You’re a good man Simon,” Duck mumbles, her voice quiet enough that he almost doesn’t catch the end of her sentence, “they wouldn’t blame you.”

He says nothing, just curls a little closer, and imagines it’s his mother saying those words.

The house is quiet when he and Duck walk back inside. Price sits on the couch reading, and opens his arms for his wife when she wanders over to him. His captain pulls her onto his lap and brushes her hair off her forehead, a quiet moment of affection in front of the fire that speaks to years of familiarity. He can only hope to have that with you someday, but first maybe an apology is in order. Simon bypasses the happy couple to go upstairs, following the lights to your room. 

He pushes the door open as quietly as he can, watches you look up from where you're sitting on the edge of your bed. Your eyes water, but you smile for him. Simon steps inside, and closes the door behind him with a soft click.

“Momma finally convince you to stay here tonight?” You ask. Simon hums, and holds his arms out for you. It's entirely too endearing how quickly you rush into his hold. You press your head against his shoulder and Simon does the same, burying his nose against your neck to breathe in your familiar scent. Somehow it settles in his bones like coming home. God, he missed you. Missed the way you feel in his arms, the way you melt against him with a sigh like he’s all you’d ever need to be happy.

“You were waitin’ on me,” Simon says looking at the still made bed. The room is bathed in the soft glow of Christmas lights, and you stare up at him with a funny sort of smile, the kind that makes him think he’s said something colossally stupid.

“I’m always gonna wait on you,” You tell him, like it doesn’t mean the world to him. Always, you tell him, and Simon wonders again how one little word from you can make his heart feel like it will burst. You reach to cup his face, stroking your thumb over his stubble with a fondness he’s never seen before. It makes him want to tell you he loves you. 

“I have something for you,” You say before he can spill his heart. You lean out of his arms to swipe a present off of the dresser next to you. You hold out a flat parcel, wrapped in brown paper with a neat red bow. It’s simple, but the way his name is written carefully on it, far flung from your usual chicken scratch, speaks to the care put into it. He lets you go to take it gingerly, turning it over in his hands to check the seams.

“We’re more of a presents on Christmas family, but I thought you might like this early.” You explain as Simon carefully slides his finger under the tape holding the paper together, gentle not to rip it as you watch him. He turns the picture frame over in his hand and freezes.

Grainy and just barely colored is a photo of Tommy’s wedding. The happy couple smiles up at him, with Simon and his mother standing at his brother’s side, while their new in-laws stand with Beth. His fingers trace the smile on his face, the way his mum holds onto his arm, happier than he'd ever seen her. He looks up to meet your eye, your unsure smile.

“Where did you get this?” Simon asks, looking back at a life he'd buried years ago. You step closer, settle a hand on his.

“I called a couple genealogy places in Manchester,” you explain, “figured your mom might've put an announcement in one of the local papers. They faxed a couple photos over.” You pause, unsure as Simon looks at the photograph. He looks back at you when you've been quiet a moment too long. “I have one of Joseph under the tree, I can go get it.” Your nerves bleed into your voice, your tone softer than Simon's ever heard it. 

“I gotta have something to open tomorrow,” He tells you, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close to his side and kissing your forehead. “Thank you.” Simon feels quieter, you wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze.

“I know it's not much,” you murmur, and Simon cuts you off.

“It's perfect.”

Somehow looking at the photo makes his heart feel lighter. It’s tangible, physical proof of the life he lived, and of the people he lived it with. He wonders if it was really so easy to find, you must have gone through a lot of effort to find this picture. The kind of effort you only put in for someone you love. 

“Got something for you too,” He sniffs, settling the picture back where it had been.

“You do?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Simon flicks your forehead, and you swat at his hand. He grabs the little hinged box from his coat pocket and tosses it to you. You barely fumble it, popping the lid open with a smile. He almost worries you hate it the way your face screws up, your lips pouting and your nose wrinkling.

“I love it,” You tell him with a wavering voice, pulling the necklace free of its velvet prison. The little porcelain charm hangs gently from the silver chain, a tiny white goose with an orange beak and a blue scarf painted on it. You hold the charm in the palm of your hand, studying it. “Can’t believe you got me jewelry,” You joke, trying to cover the water brimming at your lashes, something Simon is happy to brush away with his fingers.

“Thought it was cute,” He supplies, you nod.

“It’s perfect,” You unclasp the clip on the chain, and hold it out to him, turning so Simon can pull the two ends around the back of your neck.

“I ever tell you that the bartender no-showed the reception?” Simon asks, helping you clasp the necklace. You laugh, trying to keep your voice down.

“No time like the present,” You smile over your shoulder at him, the sun peaking over the mountains just for him.

-

Simon holds his daughter up in front of the family Christmas tree, her little pudgy fingers reaching for the shiny ornaments as her eyes reflect the lights. She kicks her feet excitedly, cooing at the display and letting out eager huffs as she attempts to escape her father’s arms. He’s never seen anyone so excited about a few decorations, but the glee that radiates off of the baby is enough to lighten anyone’s mood. 

“Don’t let her grab anything,” You call from the couch. Simon pulls Mary back into his arms and steps closer to pull a little fuzzy teddy bear ornament off a branch. He jingles it in front of her grubby little fingers with a smile.

“This one’s yours,” He tells her quietly, “don’t tell your mum.” Tiny fingers wrap around the soft toy, and pull it close. It’s amazing how different the holidays feel with a baby, it’s like experiencing everything for the first time all over again.

Mary holds onto the little bear and Simon holds onto the ornament hook, keeping it out of her mouth as she gums at the ornament’s ears. He’s almost tempted to let her keep it, except that the baby has more presents under the tree than any of them. The perks of being less than a year, he supposes. Having doting grandparents helps too. 

Not that Simon can blame them. Mary smiles at him around the bear’s arm and his heart melts a little. Christ, how did he ever make something this perfect? “How many of these did you say you wanted?” He asks over his shoulder.

“As many as you can carry.” You hum. Simon bounces Mary in his arms, and pulls the ornament from her grasp when she switches her focus to him. Tiny fingers reach for his face, soft baby skin feeling over his stubble and giggling. He catches her hand and presses it to his lips, feeling the way Mary squirms in his arms, her chubby legs kicking excitedly.

“They’re all going to be good,” He promises her, “every Christmas-” he kisses her hand again, “-and every birthday-” another kiss, “-and everything in between. For the both of us.”

#cod x reader #x reader #simon ghost riley #x oc #cod x oc #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #simon riley cod #simon ghost riley x oc #simon riley x reader #ghost cod #cowboy!ghost #captain john price #john price x oc #f!reader #cowboy au #cowboy!price #oc: goose #oc: duck