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#i just. i don't even know what i want. do i want to be completely alone so i'm the only one who can hurt myself?
sakrafka · 13 hours
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A post I made a few days ago, it mainly concerns twitter and instagram but I thought I would share it here too because I only see people talking about mass deleting their insta! I got hundreds of comments on this post over instagram, so here are some clarifications:
I’m in support of Cara, I made an account too (follow me there hehe) I just find the constant panicking and fear-mongering extremely stressful and tiring. Yes, everything about this sucks, but we don't know the end of it yet. Yes, we should make more accounts! But I don't think we should fully give up on these sites so suddenly. I’ve heard that insta started implementing opt out buttons for AI in some countries, so I think we should wait and see what’s gonna happen before leaving the site completely. What they're doing is literally illegal and I just hope they'll be sued eventually.
Even if you don't want to "migrate" to Cara fully, I think you should definitely make an account! Cara is the platform we, artists have been waiting for for years now and I hope it will stick.
I want to adress a mistake I made - I said AI was a “hot trend” but I worded it badly. What I wanted to say is, I believe they will make more regulations for AI with time. But I know it’s here to stay - in Hungary, art universities, studios and ads already use AI :,)
No I don't have any problem with fetish art, yall do what you want! I said that because Cara currently doesn't allow N.S/FW on their platform.
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erwinsvow · 2 days
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rafe looks even cuter when he's asleep.
you don't know how the thought has never crossed your mind up until now—it's so alarmingly obvious to you right now. you stare—a bit stalkerish, even for you—but that doesn't deter you at all. you watch his chest rise and fall with each breath, the way he's completely crazy, sleeping firm on his back with one arm on your waist and the other tucked behind his head.
maybe rafe seems even cuter just because he's escaping all the stress of his real life right now—firmly asleep with hopefully nothing but nice dreams about you. and as much as you try to avoid it, you are the primary cause of all of rafe's stress. he worries about you from dawn to dusk, even when you try to convince him there's nothing to be worried about.
it's become something of a habit for him—taking care of you, making sure you're okay, even when he's not around. and you—well, you've gotten quite reliant on it. on him. you're not positive—but you think rafe likes it.
even now, on the verge of waking him up because you can't sleep, you hope he doesn't get mad. it doesn't stop you though.
"rafe," you whisper, pushing his arm softly, and then a little harder. "rafe. rafe."
he groans, eyes still shut. the third push has him blinking, staring up at the ceiling and getting his bearings.
"what time is it?" he slurs, clearly still half-asleep. "still dark, kid, go back to bed-"
"i can't sleep," you say a little too quickly, your restlessness presenting itself quite clearly. "please. i don't know why. i'm scared."
rafe closes his eyes, but then opens again, no matter how hard it is to stay awake right now. he sits up a little, propping his back against his headboard. when he turns to look at you, he doesn't feel so tired anymore.
you look really awake, like you haven't had an ounce of rest since the two of you went to bed hours ago. fiddling with the straps of your nightgown, you look up at him the way you always do—like rafe can solve any one of your problems in a minute.
and he likes it. rafe doesn't even try and hide it anymore—he loves it and loves that about you.
"what're you scared of, huh?" he asks, voice still thick with sleep. you breath in and out, trying to figure out how to explain.
"i dunno. i just am."
"okay," rafe says quietly. he closes his eyes for a few moments and then opens again. your lips curl into a pout automatically—you feel bad for waking him up. "how can i help?"
"i don't know that either. i just want to feel close to you."
"m'right here, kid-" rafe extends an arm around you, bringing you into his chest. you curl up against him like you always do, breathing in the scent of his skin and the warmth from where his hand rubs your back. but it's still not enough.
"i want to be even closer," you murmur, feeling a little more tired but not nearly enough to actually fall asleep.
"how d'you suppose i do that, hm?" you look up at your boyfriend—cuter still with his eyes closed like this.
"can't you just.." feeling surprisingly bold—probably from how wired yet exhausted you currently are—you sneak a hand over rafe's pajama shots, pressing your hand down until-
"jesus, kid. gimme some warning, huh-"
"what? you said you're 'never too tired for that', remember?"
"well, i lied. c'mon baby, just go to bed, i'll fuck you first thing in the morning."
"hmpf," you scoff, turning around and taking much of rafe's comforter with you. you don't have to see rafe to know what's going on—he's rolling his eyes and sitting up, probably has his head in his hands for a moment.
"jesus, kid. you're gonna kill me. c'mere," rafe says, turning you back around to face him with just one hand. your body flops next to him, staring up at rafe, seeing what he'll do next.
"we don't have to do it," you finally say, watching rafe move around in the sheets for a few moments. "can't you just... put it inside?"
"sure i can. c'mon," he says, and you climb onto rafe's lap as swiftly as you can. it doesn't take much—he slides up your nightie with one hand and pulls down his shorts with the other. you feel rafe prodding at your tight hole when he grabs at your tits, letting the skirt of your sleepwear fall back down.
"you just said-" rafe cuts you off.
"still gotta wake him up, remember?" you roll your eyes but they end up rolling all the way back. rafe slides in quickly—you almost fall onto his chest at the feeling.
incredibly full, realizing this is exactly what you needed, you let yourself curl back up against him. rafe's saying something quietly to you, one of his hands firm on your ass and the other on your back, but you can't even hear him.
"thank you rafey," you murmur, interrupting him without even realizing. "this is what i needed." rafe presses a kiss to your hair and you fall asleep before you even hear him whisper back.
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— kArMa'S a B*TcH!
requested by @chaotic-toasters (thank you for being a therapist when needed!)
hope you enjoy the chaos, hehe.
requests are closed currently, however, feel free to drop to talk at all!
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summary: reader needs therapy after witnessing that music video.
pairings: steph catley x reader, beth mead x reader, lia walti x reader, leah williamson x reader, kim little x reader
warnings: nothing but pure chaos and trauma over a certain music video...
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Having lived in Switzerland, it wasn't often you got to see your auntie, so its' safe to say today you was thrilled about being able to hang out with her and more so, you'd be going to training with her and seeing the rest of the girls.
You'd been having so much fun hanging out with all of the girls, even joining in on winding some of the girls up.
"Hey, Y/N! C'mere a second, kid!" Your going about minding your own business, snacking on a sandwich in the canteen when your called out by Beth and Steph.
Poking your head up with the sandwich half hanging out your mouth, you tilt your head, "I didn't do it!" Your quick to protest.
You wouldn't call yourself a troublemaker per-say, but well, eh who're you kidding? You love being the centre of chaos.
Your auntie Lia wouldn't agree so much, it was one of the reason why you're stuck over in England for the time being right now.
Beth chuckles in amusement, "That's not why we're asking you to come over here," She pauses as she waves her hand slightly, "Come sit with us!" She encourages.
Shrugging your shoulders, you get up from your seat and make your way over to the two older girls, "What's goin' on?"
"We want to show you somethin', kid. You like watching music videos, don't you?" Steph wonders, holding her phone out in her hand but you can't exactly see what it is thats' on it.
"Er yeah, I do... Why?" You tilt your head in confusion but non the less plonk yourself down on Beths' knee instead of sitting on an actual seat.
What's the point of that when its' far less comfy, right?
"Perfect," Beth smirks and shares a look with Steph, "You'll like this then."
"Whos' music video is it?" You wonder, curiously.
"JoJo Siwa," Steph chimes in. "Your auntie told us that you like her music, kid."
"I do like her music," You nod in agreement. 
Without further ado, Steph moves the phone to balance up against her water bottle before she clicks play on said music video.
You weren't completely aware of the fact that your reaction was being filmed either.
You really didn't know what to expect, given that all of all JoJos' videos you have seen in the past were normal, compared to this...
You were thrown off by the pitch black darkness, mysterious vibe of the music.
"Should I... Should I be scared about this?" You look between the two older girls with a slightly worried expression, "Wait, should I?"
Neither Beth nor Steph said much but laugh slightly, awaiting your reaction as the beat of the music started to play.
"Oooo, there's water," You take in the scene of the start of the music video, bopping your head along to the music casually, "Mysterious vibes." You state, wiggling your fingers like they sparkling.
All too soon that your watching the video and your mouth drops open, shaping the perfect 'O' shape as you stare in horror at the music video you're literally being forced to watch.
"What the--  She's making out with another girl!" You exclaim in shock, "My eyes... My innocent eyes!"
Even if you wanted to escape from watching it, you couldn't do that, considering that Beth had her arms tightly wrapped around your waist so you couldn't up and leave.
"Ah! My eyes!" You repeat as you shriek in horror, immediately trying to shield your face behind your hands. "This isn't the JoJo Siwa that I remember!" You exclaim, keeping your hands over your face while you shake your head profusely.
"Just watch it, kid. It's not that bad," Steph chuckles, amusedly.
"NOT THAT BAD?" You exclaim in horror, whipping your head to look at the Aussie, "THIS IS... THIS IS HORRIFYING!" You whine, trying to wiggle out of the blondes' arms.
"It's certainly a lot different," Beth jokes.
You continue to shake your head profusely, "Turn it off! Turn it off! I can't even... I need bleach-- I don't want to watch anymore!"
Unfortunately both of the older girls' continue to laugh at your own expense, finding the situation completely hilarious.
Of course they'd watched the video previously and as soon as they did, they knew you were the perfect one for them to film a reaction to watching this music video, considering your usual love for JoJo's music.
"This... This isn't even music-- I don't like it!" You begin to try and claw at your eyes, definitely not keen on the music video in front of you.
You manage to somehow worm your way off the blonde's knee, wriggling all the way to the floor as you do no more than lie there rolling around as you make a lot of noise shrieking like a banshee while clawing at your face, trying to scrub the memory of the video.
"Turn it... Turn it off, please!" You plead with them both, hearing the tune in the background as you continue to roll around on the floor like it would solve all of your problems.
Beth snorts in amusement at your overdramatic performance on the ground, "I don't see what's so bad about it, Y/N. It's just a music video." She comments.
"Just a music video? Bethany, that is pure vulgar-- That is... That's not even music!" Your absolutely horrified about the video; Why would anyone create something like this and actually put it out there?
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The commotion you began to make was soon spotted as you lay on the floor by the rest of the girls.
"What's going on with your niece, Wally?" Leahs' the first to spot your not so normal behaviour.
"Is she okay?" Kim frowns, concerned.
Lia looks over to you and furrows her eyebrows, "I... I don't know," She watches you continue to roll around on the floor as she realises she should find out what's wrong with you. "Y/N, what's going on?" She wonders, concerned.
"My eyes, auntie Lia-- My eyes!" You exclaim, still trying to claw at them to try and block out the horror that you just witnessed.
"What?" Lias' left even more confused, trying to make sense of what is actually going on.
"Help me, auntie! Help me!" You continue to roll around dramatically on the floor, "I can't... I can't even-- I don't like it!"
"What? Y/N, sweetheart, I can't understand what you're talking about here," Lia admits, confused with your unusual behaviour compared to usual.
"Let me try," Leah suggests, getting up from her seat and joining the small group before she crouches down to your own level, "Hey buddy, what's goin' on?" She wonders, concerned.
"Pain! So much pain!" You exclaim dramatically while you still attempt to claw at your eyes.
Leah and Lia share a confused look, "Wha-- What're you talkin' about buddy, what's happened? Are you hurt?" She questions.
"Yes, yes I am hurt!" You somewhat whine in response, "I need... I need help!" You state, attempting to wriggle round on the floor, but thats' difficult with Leahs' hand resting on you to stop doing exactly that.
"Your hurt?" Lia immediately kneels down beside you and tries to inspect which part of your body is injured, "Where hurts, Y/N? Tell me so I can get help!" She panicks slightly, trying to figure out what it is that's exactly wrong.
"You... You can't help, the pains' in my eyes-- I need to bleach them!" You murmer, trying to erase the memory of the video but having no luck.
"What?" Lia's even more confused now before she glances at the older girls' giggling to themselves like school girls, "What is going on?" She asks.
"We thought we'd show Y/N the new music video that JoJo Siwa released," Beth snickers, finding it hilarious to watch your initial reaction to it.
Lia furrows her eyebrows even more confused than before, not understand whats' so bad about that.
"Are you girls crazy? Why... Why an earth would you show a little girl that type of video?" Kims' voice barks aloud, overhearing the conversation.
"Hey! I'm not a little girl. I'm almost 13, you know!" Your quick to protest, causing from the mid meltdown. "I'm... I'm traumatised, auntie Lia!" You exclaim.
"Show me the video? It can't be that bad," Lia gestures for Steph to press play on the video, so that herself and Leah can understand it and within the first minute or so in, her expression completely changes, "What is wrong with you two? Why an earth would you traumatise my niece with that sort of video!" She barks at them.
"Exactly my point," Kim waves her hand off, like she was talking sense the whole time.
"That is... That is one crazy video," Leah murmers as her eyes widen in disbelief, knowing its' no wonder the way that you suddenly reacted when you saw it.
"See, auntie Lia? Its' pure trauma... I need therapy!" You whine dramatically, shaking your head profusely, "Months and months of therapy!"
"Well, shes' not wrong there," Leah snorts, trying to stifle her laughter when Lia looks at her unimpressed, "But eh, yeah, seriously, girls... Why would you show her that?" She tries to act like the responsible adult that she is.
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Safe to say that Steph and Beth found the whole situation most amusing to watch you freak out mentally, of course taking the opporunity to taunt you with that god-awful song.
At any given time of the day...
Curse that stupid song that exsists.
Like the moment that you're peacefully minding your own business, sat on the sidelines of the pitch messing around with your Nintendo Switch, having a blast on Mario Kart when Steph decides to walk over to you, casually picking up her water bottle to take a few swigs before she starts to hum that familiar tune.
"No," You whine, going to cover your ears.
You swear that Steph even smirks at you at one point, before she continues to go about humming the god-awful song.
"No, no, no stop-- I need bleach... I need to bleach my ears out!" You whine dramatically, trying to block it all out, "STOP ITTTTT!"
"kArMa'S a BiTcH--"
"Auntie Lia! Auntie Lia! Help me, Stephs' singing that song!" Of course you tattle-tale straight away, being the shit-stirring little menance that you are, "Auntieeeee Lia, make her stop singin'!" You continue to whine dramatically.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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totheblood · 11 hours
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protective!spencer reid headcanons
a/n: this is a remake of one of my headcanons i did for ellie but i completely rewrote it cause yea... AI AUDIOS throughout, also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses
spencer is extremely protective of you, more than anyone else in his life... he just doesn't know how to show it
he knows that the job entails danger and as much as he doesn't like it, there isn't much he can do about it
but that doesn't stop him from trying
when you partner up on cases together he always makes sure he enters first, a hand outstretched to make sure you're always covered
"it's clear, you can come on in now," he would whisper, gun still drawn. 
"spence, you don't have to do that every time."
"i know," he'd say with a small smile, "but i want to."
he tries not to coddle you. he has seen you take down unsubs twice your size(which he would be lying if he said it didn't turn him on), but sometimes his protective instincts just take over.
he'd rather put himself at risk than see you hurt. even after you're cursing him out, hands in a balled up fist banging on his kelvar vest. 
"what the fuck was that?" you'd yell, face getting hot, "i had him, and you could've gotten yourself killed,"
with an ice pack pressed to his forehead where the unsub got a punch in he closed his eyes gently, "i know, i know... i didn't even think, i just saw his hands on you and i just... look, i'm sorry for scaring you but i'm never going to be sorry for protecting you."
but when you get injured on a case, he just loses it
"what were you thinking, running in like that with no back up?" he'd scold while gently dabbing at the wound on your arm. 
"spence, I'm fine, it's just a scratch."
"just... be more careful next time, okay?" he'd say softly, looking around to make sure no one was watching before pressing a gentle kiss to your forhead, “i… can’t lose you.”
or if you were partnered with someone else and you came back with even a semblance of a bruise, he'd have his eyebrows furrowed, lips twisted into a scowl as he approached you, hands gently holding your arms, his face softening when you wince at the contact
"what happened?" he'd say voice tight, looking up at morgan who was trailing in behind you, looking guilty as ever. 
as derek opened his mouth to speak, you spoke up, "it wasn't his fau-"
"i didn't see him coming," morgan shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, "i got him off of her the minute he was on her."
"he shouldn't have had a chance to be on her," spencer spat back angrily.
"spence, it all happened in a matter of seconds," you say, voice sickeningly sweet as you tried to sooth his nerves, "i didn't see him coming either,"
"i know," he sighed, closing his eyes as he took a shaky breath in, "i know, but all it takes is one second and you could be..."
"i know," you pull him into a hug, his tall frame leaning down to wrap you in his arms, "but i'm here and i'm okay."
his protectiveness extends beyond the field too. 
the team would be out for drinks at o'keeffe's, you with a saltrimmed glass as you sat next to him. as you licked the edges, and drank your margarita with a satisfied grin, he would smile to himself, his smile dropping the minute a tall gruff man approached the two of you 
spencer's fingers twitch as the man puts his hand on the small of your back, taking notice in how your body tenses immediately and you laugh nervously. 
when he was in front of the team he wasn't your boyfriend spencer, he was your coworker spencer and as much as you planned on keeping it that way, spencer's patience was wearing thin each second the man's hand was on you. 
he'd cringe as you lean away from the man, mumbling some excuse like "i have a boyfriend," which made spencer's lips quirk upwards, just for a moment before he realized the man was still leaning into you, whispering, "he doesn't have to know,"
it's then that he steps in, getting up from his seat and stepping in between you and the man, flashing his badge at him with a quirked eyebrow and tight voice as he said, "i believe my colleague has made it clear she's not interested."
after a long case, one he knows hits you harder than the other's he is insisting you go to his apartment with him, his hands linking in yours the minute he's in the car and rubbing soothing circles into your palm
his voice is soft as he speaks over the radio, "everything okay, baby?"
"yeah," you would mumble, but he knows you too well and he knows that's not true. but he also knows you well enough to not bring it up again, choosing to distract you with your favorite songs on the drive or a warm bath when you get home, pressing sweet kisses all over your face as he bathes you
when you're sick, he shows up with:
homemade soup (his mother's recipe), herbal teas, and your favorite books which he reads to you, despite your protests for him to stay away.
instead he'd be telling you to open up as he fed you chicken soup while speaking to you gently, "did you know that chicken soup can actually help reduce inflammation? the chicken and vegetables in chicken soup actually inhibit the migration of neutrophils which can help you breathe better."
in public, his eyes always find you. especially at work he is glancing over at you from his desk, pen in his hand tapping the desk as he looks over at you for the thirteenth time that hour. 
"she's fine, kid. she's not going to magically disappear from her desk," derek teases, as he leans on spencer's desk, looking over at where your eyes finally met his and gave him a soft smile. 
"i know. i just like seeing her smile," spencer replies, voice soft as he smiles back at you. 
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hellodropbear · 18 hours
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like she used to (IV)
alexia putellas x sister chapter I, II, III
sorry this took longer! have been very busy with work and uni for the past few days :)
~~~~~~
Aitana has been suspicious of something all week. I feel her eyes on me during training, when we're in the locker room, as she drives me home and as I walk up to my front door.
But she doesn't say anything and I am grateful. Because if she did say something, I don't think I would be able to answer without telling her every single thing on my mind.
Nobody wants that. Not me, not Aitana. Probably not Alexia either.
So instead, I sit in the midfielder's car quietly, only speaking when she prompts me to, although even that has slowed down over the past few days. She was confused the first time I told her I didn't want to stop for ice cream, and I was grateful that she didn't ask again.
"you're sure? You've never refused ice cream before, lena!"
All I could do was shake my head, keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead.
I get home and I go straight to my room which is easy enough, considering Mami comes home from work late. I am supposed to be going to school, but Aitana doesn't know that and Mami doesn't know any different. She thinks I am there, and as long as I pick up the phone to my personal tutor in the evening, the school won't bother contacting my mother.
I shouldn't be skipping school, but I can't face going there and being asked all those questions about how great it is to be training in the first team, to finally have broken through into a squad that I would hopefully play with for most of my career.
But it isn't great, not really. My life has become a game of hide and seek, escaping rooms that my sister enters, too afraid to even face her.
I am not scared of her, more of what she will say. I am barely coping as it is and anything she says will just make it worse. It is best to just leave her alone, keep my distance.
And I think she thinks the same. She said she was going to take a step back, after all.
Not that is has been any different from before she took that step back. Her back was already against the wall, on the other side of the room from me. Any further and she would leave my life completely which does not seem possible, considering we play for the same club.
But I wish she wasn't so far away, I wish that I could just reach out and grab her attention, for her to know that I needed help without even having to ask.
And it hurts me, more than I'd like to admit, that her friends know exactly how to make me feel better, to make me feel valued, worthy. But she is just there, like a fly on the wall, always watching but never doing anything.
Even the more clueless ones have started to realise that things are not perfect between me and Alexia. We are never in the same room together, I leave training with Aitana every day. It is obvious, we all know it.
So they don't push us together. They don't talk about Alexia to me and they don't ask why we don't drive home together, why she isn't the first person to give me a hug if I score in training.
They don't want me to be compared to her any more than I already have been.
Because on top of all the personal issues, there is a lot of pressure, being her sister.
'Will Elena Putellas follow in her sister's footsteps?'
'The younger Putellas - set to be better than Alexia Putellas, but still hasn't come off the Barcelona bench.'
I've seen the articles, of course I have. Nobody ever mentions it though, nobody mentions the pressure I am under, the pressure I feel to live up to the expectations.
Of course I will not score as many goals as her, of course I will not make a debut at the end of the match like a midfielder often does. It is a lot harder for a centre back to come on as a last minute sub. It is harder for a centre back to score so many goals.
There are feasible reasons why they are saying these things, but none of the news sites think to explore those reasons, exclusively focusing on the negatives.
I don't bring it up because I think that if I mention something even slightly about my emotions, every single thing I feel will all come rushing out, a tsunami wave that will destroy everything I have worked towards.
I have to be strong; I can't let a little bit of pressure overcome me. Alexia had pressure, and she was never swallowed by it.
Alexia was not weak. I can not be weak.
But it feels like the tide has been pulled back, brewing in the deep dark depths of the ocean, preparing to build and build and build until it all becomes too much, until it is here, a huge wave ready to swallow me. Too late to escape, too late to stop it.
But quelling the wave does not seem like something I can do.
The only thing I can do about it is play my piano.
It is thing I am most grateful for, my piano that brings me closer to my father, the one thing I have that nobody else does.
I may not have his memories, but I don't think any memories could match the connection I feel, just sitting on his stool, my fingers dancing on the keys that his hands once graced, the keys that we used to play together.
It was the one thing that we shared, just the two of us. Something that neither of my sisters or my Mami could understand. All they know is to leave me be when I am playing the piano. I don't want to be interrupted and they don't want to face the wrath of my anger if I am stopped before I am finished.
Because it is the only way I can express my emotions and the emotions do not stop coming until the song is finished, until there is a puddle of tears in my lap, fed by the streams that track down my cheeks.
So they leave me be. I want them to leave me with my emotions when I play the piano. But they also leave me with my emotions when I sit in the lounge room, staring at a blank tv screen, staring out the window at just about nothing in particular. I wish they would realise that I don't always want to be left with my emotions.
I wish they could notice that something may be wrong, something more than just the loss of my sister.
Because it feels like more than that. I have never felt so lost in my life.
There is just so much going through my mind at any one time and I can't let it out because once I start I will not be able to stop until my walls have burst and I am nothing but an empty shell of who I was before.
Everything I once was is gone.
Replaced by confusion, hurt, sadness.
And I don't know why, because Alexia isn't all of me, football isn't all of me.
I know it shouldn't be but it feels like it is and even though Alba is right there as well, and Mami and my friends from La Masia, all I can think of is the fact that my older sister doesn't want to be my older sister any more.
And I can't stop thinking about what it could be like, if it was still what it used to be.
~~~~~~
I spend another two weeks wallowing in my confusingly overwhelming emotions before Mapi decides to intervene, intercepting me as I walk towards Aitana after training once again.
"No, you are coming with me today, pequena!"
I didn't even realise Mapi was here, her rehab finishes at the same time as Alexia, an hour before training ends.
She beams and throws her arm over my shoulder, ignoring my disgruntled expression.
"I will see you tomorrow, ABC." I murmer softly, but both Spaniards can hear it.
They both think I am too short to see the concerned look they throw at each other, but I notice it. I notice everything.
Mapi guides me out of the facilities and into her car and I can feel her concern grow as she inspects me from the drivers seat.
"You are not ok, Elena."
Her words are soft but understanding. It surprises me how she could just pick it up like that, I thought it was less obvious.
I thought it was less obvious because nobody has brought it up to me before.
I shake my head, not trusting myself to say anything without crying, although at this point it feels inevitable.
"That's ok. It's ok to not be ok, you know?"
I nod and she continues.
"When you came over the other week, I told you to talk to someone, but I don't think you have, have you?"
I continue my vow of silence by shaking my head, my eyes concentrated on how my hands shake and fidget in my lap.
I am too concentrated on my hands to realise that my eyes have filled with tears, to realise that the first one has slipped out. I only notice when the fat tear lands with a splat on my thumb and I stare at it, my mind full of confusion and unfamiliarity.
I don't understand how I feel, because I feel sad, and angry. They are normal emotions, ones that I have always felt, just usually in a less aggressive and persistent way.
But I feel so... lost, isolated. I feel alone and that is something I am not familiar with, not at all. Usually, I would talk to Alexia about my anger and sadness, but this has been going on for so long, slowly chipping away at my self-confidence, at my happiness. Now all I can feel is the loss of someone. Someone so important.
I may be dramatic, but how else would I describe it? She decided she was too busy and threw me away, a piece of rubbish. How am I supposed to cope with the fact that it's all I am to Alexia?
We used to be so strong as a family, we were always there for each other, nobody left behind. But I can't help but feel like I have been, just a bit.
Mami and Alba love me, Mami and Alba are proud of me. But Mami gets home after I go to bed and Alba has her own life, her own friends. She doesn't need to be pulled back by her little sister who has lost the ability to deal with her own emotions.
It would not be fair for me to pile my problems with Alexia onto Alba. It would not be fair to make her pick a side.
Alexia could be the person that helps me. We have similar schedules, interests, personalities. She knew me like the back of her hand and I knew her equally as well. But I don't think I have ever felt so disconnected from her.
Mapi snaps me out of my daydreaming when she speaks again.
"It is not healthy to keep everything inside of you, pequena, so we are going to the beach and we are talking. I am going to force it out of you because I miss my bright little best friend."
She reaches over and wipes the tears from my eyes, awkwardly pulling me into a hug.
"Everything is going to be ok. You are going to be ok, Elena Putellas, because you have me."
I nod, leaning back into my chair and using my palms to wipe my eyes as Mapi turns the car on and begins to drive out of the carpark.
"Thank you, Mapi." It is a whisper, but she hears me loud and clear, offering me a watery smile before focusing her attention right back onto the road ahead.
The car is quiet as we drive to the beach, Mapi just humming along to her song.
Mapi has always been a big talker. She always says she finds silences uncomfortable and sometimes even slightly overwhelming, so she talks. She talks and talks at a speed that makes it practically impossible to register what she is saying, and the inability to comprehend her spoken thoughts is only heightened by the way she jumps from topic to topic, her voice only increasing in speed and excitement as she gets more and more carried away.
But she is Mapi, and Mapi always talks, so I got used to it, finding her chattiness endearing, she was fun, always happy.
Which is why it is so meaningful when she isn't speaking, like she knows that her words are fruitless and likely not particularly tasteful - they won't be received well.
She is silent as we walk down to the beach and as she lays her rug and pillows out, sitting down and motioning for me to sit down next to her.
She is quiet for a few moments, like she is debating within herself on what she should say and when she should say it, captivated by the way he waves crash onto the sand cyclically, the beaming rays of sun showering the crystal water, the first indicators of the imminent sunset.
When she speaks, it is slow and it is quiet. Her words hug me in a way that has been missed for so long, and I immediately soften; she would have noticed my shoulders relaxing underneath her arm.
"I remember when I first met you." Her eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on her face. "It was before I even joined Barcelona, at my third camp with Spain. I had heard about you before, from Alexia, I knew so much about you from how much she would gush about everything you did every time I spoke to her. In person, over text, she was obsessed with you and sometimes I didn't understand why it seemed like all she spoke about was her little 5 year old sister."
She chuckles, but I stay silent, still staring out at the ocean.
"But then I met you and I immediately understood why she wouldn't stop talking about you. You radiated this happiness, like a little sunbeam. Alexia got you from the barricade after a match, it was only my second ever appearance, but Alexia brought you right over to me and introduced us. You grabbed onto my leg and held it, almost yelling about how cool it was that there was another player to meet."
I smile. I have never heard this story before.
"And then the next time, you recognised me and I was so surprised, so happy. But you were also happy, Elena, you always were smiling, laughing. You would hang from your sisters shoulders and whack her on the back, swinging around in her arms and laughing so loudly that we could hear you from the other side of the pitch. You were always like that, every time I saw you. I found myself looking forward to spain camps even more, because I got to see little Elena Putellas with her big smile and cheeky personality. But recently, I think you have lost a bit of your spark because you do not seem as happy. You seem miserable, lena, and I want to help you find that spark again because I promise, it is not gone forever. It has just been buried so deep by all these emotions that are so big and overwhelming and you can't even find who you are anymore."
Her words strike a cord, and I find that my eyes fill with tears once more, but I do everything I do to hold them back as I speak. There is a long moment of silence as we both look out at the waves before I break it with a quiet inhalation.
"I am so scared, Mapi." My voice breaks but I continue anyway. "I don't know who I am anymore and it is so scary. I don't know what happened or where I went but one day I woke up and I was just a miserable shell of the person I was and I don't know what to do."
She is quick to pull me into a hug as the tears start falling because we both know that once I let out the first cry, I will not be able to stop. Her soft hands through my hair and calm words that flow through the small space we occupy will do nothing to calm the turmoil I am feeling on the inside.
Thinking about it only makes it worse, like I am shaking everything up so it rises to the surface instead of letting it lay undisturbed deep inside of me.
But Mapi's words were like stepping into a turbulent plane, shaking uncontrollably, fear falling over me and triggering emotions that I didn't even realise I had inside of me. The dirt hazes up the water until everything is a big whirlwind of confusion. Emotions moving around to quickly to capture them and try to understand them.
The things I want caught up in the whirlwind of unwelcome mess, the whirlwind that I can't seem to get myself out of.
The injured centre back whispers calm words of affirmation into my ear for a while, her hand stroking up and down my back. It keeps me down to earth, does not let me fall into the trap of a million emotions.
"We will find who you are again, Elena. I will always be here to help you. I am right here."
I want to tell her that I want my sisters to be there to help me. I want Alexia to come back and I want Alba to realise that there is something wrong. But neither of them were there like Mapi is. Alba has tried to be there for me, but she doesn't get it because I don't know what to say.
But all I do is cry in her arms. The sobs soften into quiet whimpers as the sun sets, casting a yellow glow over the beach, but we stay there even as the air becomes cooler and the sky becomes darker.
Mapi decides that I will not be going home that night, not trusting me to take proper care of herself and instead taking me back to her apartment again.
Ingrid is there this time, and she looks at her girlfriend with concern when we walk in, immediately noticing my red face and puffy eyes.
"Hey, Elena." She smiled at me, but I was preoccupied by the little black cat that had begun to circle my legs.
"We had a chat on the beach and decided that because her Mami isn't home, she would stay here the night again."
I picked up Bagheera, tickling under her chin as I sat down on the sofa, trying to ignore the wary glances that were being sent in my direction by the Spaniard and Norwegian.
"I don't know what to do."
Mapi's words were hushed, and by the way she immediately spoke more quietly when she saw my head whip towards them, it is clear that they were not for my ears.
But as I fiddle with Bagheera's fur, I dissect her words. More than I should and definitely more than she wants me to.
She doesn't know what to do with me. She doesn't know how to help, how to fix what has been broken.
She doesn't know whether she should talk to Alexia because it would break my trust. Because telling Alexia could just make it all so much worse.
I think I have been holding onto hope that she really is that clueless and is trying to do what she thinks is best for me. I try to hope that is the reason this has all happened, and not because she simply has forgotten about me, or because she doesn't want to be responsible for me any more.
But honestly, I think it is a mix of all of that. And I think it has evolved from guilt, not watching my games, wanting to avoid the awkward conversations that could have arisen if she had apologised to me.
I wish she knew that an apology would make all the difference. A sincere one, from her heart.
Unprovoked. Just her, being truly apologetic.
Because as humiliating as it is, I would do anything to be back in her arms. I would do anything to have my older sister back, I wish that she would just do something that would make this all go away, to pick up the pieces of my shattered insides and stitch them back together. Eventually, the stitches would dissolve, I would forget all about them and I would be able to function normally again.
But Alexia is not a surgeon, and she would not be able to do that stitching seamlessly. She would use glue, but even that won't put it all back together so perfectly.
There is no way for her to just put it back together and pretend it never happened, to move on like this was just a blip. Because I am different now, I have grown. She has missed so much of my early teenage years - the years that I have most needed her help.
But I am not even sure that Alexia wants that any more; I don't know if she wants to fix this all up and move on.
The dinner table is quiet as I pick at my meal, Mapi encouraging me to eat more than a few bites, claiming she won't leave until my plate has been cleaned up.
Ingrid doesn't utter a single word, instead her green eyes piercing through my skin. I feel exposed to Ingrid, as if she can read everything, understand everything, just from one simple glance.
It is ridiculous, but she is deep in thought so I don't say anything to her either.
It is only when Mapi opens her mouth again that Ingrid's eyes flick over to her girlfriend.
"Does Alba know you feel like this? Or your Mami?"
It is a simple question, but strikes a chord.
No, neither of them know. Neither of them have even noticed a change.
I shake my head roughly, and Ingrid releases a scoff.
I look up, offended.
"What?"
She turns her head to me, confused, so I continue.
"It is not my fault! It is not easy to talk about these things."
"No, no. Elena, that was not directed at you."
She seems apologetic so I have to believe her. I push my chair back, attempting to leave the room with a clutter, cursing my misty eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day.
But me exit is not as seamless as I would have liked, and Mapi is standing right in front of me when I get up, wrapping her arms around me.
It is supposed to be to trap me, but Mapi's arms will never not be a comfort.
I immediately relax into her grip, sighing softly.
"I am so confused."
~~~~~~
Mapi's hands were running through my hair, my lap on the sofa as the tv played that evening. It had been an hour since dinner and the three of us had moved into the lounge room, the silence being filled by the Spanish show on the screen.
But there was a knock on the door and Ingrid sighed, standing up to open it, knowing that neither Mapi or I would get up.
It was both surprising and unsurprising to see Aitana standing there, her hair messy and over of her face, as if she had just been in bed.
"Is Mapi still awake?"
She didn't bother to greet Ingrid, clearly here for a reason. Why else would she have arrived at almost 11 at night.
I couldn't hear Ingrid's response, but I could hear Mapi speaking to me.
"She's worried about you too, Elena. You-"
I love Aitana, I always have.
"I know she is, she is terrible at hiding it. But she has avoided bringing it up. If she wanted me to talk to her I would try my best to, but she hasn't."
Again, I love Aitana and I know she has my best interests at heart. She knows I need to talk about everything to someone, but she also knows that I don't want to. She doesn't want to push even though I can tell she is worried. She is stressed.
Ingrid and Aitana enter as soon as I finish speaking, the Spaniard almost running to where I am lying, placing her hand on my cheek.
"You have been crying."
It is blunt, a bit surprising. I don't really know what to expect from Aitana, she has always been the light hearted one who never would shy from telling me how great I was, but we have never really spoken about melancholy emotions like these.
I suppose there has never really been a need to in the past, that is what Alexia and Alba were for.
She sits down on the floor in front of my face, her knees up to her chest as she stares at me, intensity in her eyes. It is not unlike the intensity she often displays on the pitch, motivated and passionate.
"I will help you." She is decisive. "We will fix this."
I nod softly and she runs her hand down my cheek.
"You are too young to be feeling like this, little Lena. I am sorry I let it get this far."
I look at her in confusion and she pauses before continuing.
"I knew something was wrong. I went to your games at La Masia."
I can tell Mapi is listening closer now.
"I know she didn't go to any."
Mapi gasps, quite loudly, and Aitana gives her a frustrated look, rolling her eyes softly.
"I should have said something to her. She doesn't realise how important you are, how lucky she is to have you."
I frown at her words.
"Lucky?"
It hasn't something I'd ever considered my sisters to be, having to look after a small child for most of their adolescence. Having to please me for so long.
"I used to dream of having a baby sister like you, she is lucky."
Mapi decides it is her turn to add something to the conversation.
"She loves you, Elena, she always has. Of course she thought she was lucky. She needed someone to help her pick on Alba."
There is suddenly a lump in my throat. I think it is the mention of the before that triggered it. The memories are too hard to handle, I usually avoid them at all costs.
My eyes become wet again, apparently, but Aitana just laughs softly.
"You two were just so mean to her, the poor thing."
Mapi lets out a chuckle from above me as well, and I find my mouth turning upwards into a smile.
"I probably should apologise now, shouldn't I?"
Aitana shakes her head, not able to hold back her laughs and Mapi is the same from where I can not see her.
It is when I finally laughed that I feel Mapi soften beneath me and see Aitana exhale a soft sigh of relief. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did. I notice everything.
"We will fix this, ok?" Aitana was somewhat serious again, her hand patting my face. "We have a day off tomorrow, I will be here and we can all talk. We can all decide what to do next."
"Why are you two doing all this for me?"
Aitana sighs and Mapi's hands pause in my hair.
The midfielder looks above me, as if encouraging her to reply, but I speak up again before she can.
"Alexia is your captain, your teammate. She is your best friend, Mapi. Why are you doing so much for me when we are not speaking?"
There is another pause. It looks like Aitana is about to hit Mapi on the head, but the Spaniard speaks up before she can.
"Alexia has so many people behind her. Alexia is strong, she is experienced and she is older than you. You are just young, pequena and you are so lonely and lost. We want to help the both of you, but we need to help you first."
She pauses and Aitana finds the time to interject. It is like they have been talking about me.
Come to think of it, they probably have.
"You looked like you were going to burst. We knew that you and Alexia weren't speaking, that both of you were having a hard time because of it. But Elena, you looked destroyed. We couldn't leave you to your own devices any more. And Elena, we are doing this because we love you. So, so much."
"Alexia loves you too. More than us. She just does not do a great job of showing it, that's all."
I sigh softly, falling backwards into Mapi's lap, wondering just what I have done to deserve this.
How luckyI am to have my older sisters friends there looking out for me.
Because my family was falling apart and it was my fault. I couldn't do everything alone.
I choose not to think about what would happen if Mapi and Aitana weren't here like they are.
A tear slips down my face again, but this time it is not so sad. It is full of emotion, a grateful tear. Not quite happy, but not sad either.
"Thank you."
~~~~~~
hope you enjoyed :)
this chapter was more to gauge where elena is at, sorry if it was boring!
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Text
⋆。°✩ DARLING, DON'T BE AFRAID
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Summary: Despite living with Xavier for the past few weeks, you still haven't taken the plunge to see if all this time together make you anything more than roommates especially when he disappears again in the middle of the night. Determined, you decide to question him on where his feelings lie. You just never thought a simple kiss on the cheek was the only push needed.
Pairing: Xavier x Fem!Reader
Content Warning: Roommates AU, Vanilla Smut (A lot of it. Like 7k words of smut), Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Emotional Sex
Word Count: 12,000~
Note: Sequel to Do Roommates Sleep Together. This part can be read as a standalone. So not necessary to read part one but it adds more context.
AO3 Link
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You make a final decisive pull of the trigger. A loud pang resonates in the air and smoke spirals off the barrel. The Wanderer disappears in a wisp of debris and dust that is quickly caught in the wind.
Xavier stands a few feet in front of you. His sword twirls with one final arc of light illuminating behind the sharpened tip before it dematerializes in his hand.  You’re oblivious to the way his eyes search and find you on instinct as you run eager fingertips on the warm barrel of your pistol. 
“Mission completed. We should report back.”
You raise your head to meet his gaze while your gloved fingers remain faithfully on your weapon. The adrenaline from a successful mission is still surging through you.
“I want to test out my guns some more.”
His eyes soften at your response, but the weight of his gaze is still heavy as he walks towards you and places his hand on your head. 
“There will be more Wanderers tomorrow,” he murmurs. His thumb gently brushes your forehead before his hand swoops back over your hair. Though your hands were still itching for another battle, your mind was weak to the calmness of his tone, like the slow tumble of waves on the shore, as he coaxes your head back to look at him more directly. “Let’s go home.”
This time you do not protest. Even if you did, what could you possibly say? 
Your aggression relaxes along with your shoulders, allowing you to give in to his request with a quick holstering of your twin guns. 
You return to headquarters and give your mission report to Jenna – pausing only to poke fun when she mentions how much Xavier’s reporting time has improved since the two of you became partners – then you start on the way home with the sun kissing at your back.
Laughter fills the air on the streets. Immediately, you feel warm inside. It was only thanks to the work you do every day that citizens could enjoy this peaceful dusk without fear of monsters scrambling to destroy the city like so many years ago. 
It’s rewarding to know you hold some small part in the safety of the city after almost dying in the catastrophe as a child. You breathed it in fully, letting joy fill your lungs as you savor the calm moment. The emotion is only highlighted by the fact that when you look to your side, you can see Xavier there, putting weight to the empty space left in the wake of your family’s death. 
Walking home together in the past was a random occurrence, happening whenever your busy schedules after missions aligned. As freshly cemented roommates, it was almost a given you’d walk home together now. Not just to the apartment complex, but to an actual shared home. 
This path you go along every day has become special in that time. It’s full of promises, the kind you could only wish for on snowy New Year's evenings as you tied red ribbons to the shrine gate and prayed for good things to happen in your life. Not a lot of those wishes came true but Xavier did. 
In that way, you were a fortunate person. 
It was only your guess if he felt the same. You want to ask him. Unlike when you’re fighting Wanderers, you’re not brave when it comes to Xavier - a part of you prefers to leave things between you unsaid. It’s safer that way as you can keep living in a beautiful world of your own illusions. 
Therefore, you’re unable to help yourself. Pinching the sleeve of his uniform, you tug on it gently to gain his attention; Xavier looks at you with glossy glazed eyes. He’s always so sluggish after missions. His steps slow and methodical, like a robot, as he barely manages to straighten his spine and raise his head.
“Chin up, Xavier. We’re almost there.”
“I’m exhausted,” he says. 
You don’t need to hear him say it to understand. You think you’ve become good at reading his body language by now. Donning a sympathetic smile, you shift your hand, aiming for a lower target, and entwine your fingers with his under the guise of leading him faster.
“My next solution is carrying you by the way.”
A smile cracks on his face, impossibly light as his gaze drifts to the hold you have on his hand. “I don’t think you could carry me.”
“You dare doubt me?” Truth be told, he was right. He was tall and muscular and much thicker under that uniform than he looked. He would probably crush you under his weight if you tried to lift him. Despite how improper it was to think, you wouldn’t mind if he wanted to place his weight on top of you in another way. You tick up the corner of your lips into a surprisingly innocent smile opposite of the images in your imagination as you flash your bicep to him. “I’m very strong.”
“I think it would make more sense if I carried you.”
“I can walk.”
“I don’t see why that matters,” he says with a yawn, and you smile.
“Are you sure you won’t drop me?”
“If it’s a choice between falling asleep and dropping you then I’ll definitely stay awake. Otherwise, you might end up carrying me after all,” he says. Xavier always manages to be unfailingly charming. Given the mystery of his past and the way he carries himself, you often question exactly what kind of upbringing he had. You almost ask but your interrogation doesn’t have the chance to plant seeds when he stops in front of you and kneels. 
You thought he was joking when he said he’d carry you home but that doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms over his broad shoulders and letting him scoop your legs up around his solid waistline. 
His clasp on the back of your thighs makes you shiver. You feel like a touch-starved virgin that the simple strength of his hands over the thickness of your pants incited such a reaction out of you, so you bury your burning face against the back of his neck. 
“Are you alright?” he asks.
Xavier must feel your hair against his neck, and you use the fact he can’t see your face to your advantage as you nod against his nape.
“Just hungry.”
For his part, Xavier doesn’t question your sudden hunger. Instead, he asks what you’re in the mood for and starts to list the restaurants that you pass on the way to the apartment complex.
You lay your cheek against him, watching the many buildings pass you by until you point out one you don’t recognize, flashing with many signs about a grand opening.
“How about that one?” you ask.
Xavier chuckles, continuing on in his steps past the building in question. “It’s not that great.”
“How do you know?”
“I tried them out.”
You squeeze into his shoulders, pushing off of them in a childlike manner and an even more dramatic gasp. “Without me?”
“I was going to bring you something back, but they weren’t very tasty. I like your cooking a lot more.”
You know he can’t see you, but you puff out your cheeks anyway. You wrap your arms tightly around him again, willing your heart not to skip when his back tenses as your chest compresses against him.  
“Are you asking me to cook dinner for you? I’m quite exhausted after all that running around,” you tell him sarcastically. 
He accidentally makes you regret your teasing when he agrees with a compassionate offer, “I’ll cook for you today.”
Hearing the word cook from his mouth makes your stomach sour. If there’s one thing after all these months you learned, it’s that Xavier is a…creative cook to put it gently. Or rather, he has zero cooking ability if it involves electricity. You didn’t mind. The two of you make it work with you doing most of the cooking and him cleaning up after, at your own behest, because if he had his way, he’d be in the kitchen much more often. 
“On second thought, I’ll cook.”
“You still don’t trust me,” he says with a sigh. Guilt tingles through you. However, your continued survival outweighs the guilt that the memory of his puppy eyes can draw out of you. “I’ll handle the cold stuff, and I’ll leave the meat to you.”
“Deal,” you say, nuzzling your head against his neck. 
When you get home, the night pans out like it always does. The two of you take turns in the shower with dinner being cooked shortly after, and the human garbage disposal known as your roommate leaves very little work for you to do once all is said and done. 
You decide to start on the last of chores for today while Xavier washes the dishes. It’s routine to check the plants before going to bed as the many potted flowers were like your own children after you spent so many hours tending to them, finding the perfect ratio of nutrients and water to keep them thriving. 
It is also routine to hunt down the birds so lovingly named Fatso and Alarm Clock by the sleepy man of the house to give them some of the seeds and nuts you regularly brought home from the store. You told Xavier that happy birds would stop eating his strawberries when in reality you liked to spoil them. 
So, you spread out the seeds on the ground for them, leaving them there for later. 
“If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”
You can’t help the laugh that leaves you. As much as he complains about the birds, you think, if his constant curiosity about the birds’ day-to-day lives was anything to go by, that he’d miss the two fluffy creatures if they were to ever find new nesting grounds. You turn back to the balcony door with a cheeky grin. “I have experience with things that don’t leave after you feed them. You enjoyed dinner a little too much.”
It’s hard to see in the fading light but Xavier blushes and brings a shy grip to the back of his neck. “Last I checked you moved in with me.”
That silences you. There’s no denying his observation, and you fail to notice him getting closer until he reaches his hand out to help you up. You willingly reach out, hand sinking into his touch as he lifts you to your feet. 
The coolness of your palms touching slowly births a lingering warmth. The soft squeeze around your hand makes it hard to let him go but eventually you must. Otherwise, you might say things that are better kept to yourself as you walk back into the house and close the sliding door behind you. 
With a pounding heart, you retire to your room early.
This room is a little different from the master room at your old apartment. The wall color is a little different brighter and it’s smaller. Luckily, you made the space work pretty easily by migrating half your plushie collection into Xavier’s room, checking like a dutiful mother to make sure he was treating them right and placing them with love should they roll off his dresser.  Sighing, you change into slightly more comfortable clothes, choosing a random pair of soft shorts and a tank top to wear before climbing into bed. It’s ten when you finally let your eyes slip shut, and it's around eleven you feel someone touching you.
Your eyelids are surprisingly heavy; you can barely pry them open enough to see the wisp of grey-brown hair shadowing medium-blue eyes. You don’t protest as you feel his fingertips brush along your waist or when his knee digs into the mattress, sinking you towards his weight.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he wants. You raise your arm enough to let your fingertips greet the curve of his chin in silent acceptance. Slowly, you drop your hand and squeeze his bicep. Like a good little soldier, he follows the order to fall into the bed with you. 
The most comfortable position is to slot your arm on top of his as he hugs your waist, props his leg on top of yours, and spoons your back. There’s absolutely zero space between your lower halves; and if he notices how you, with a small amount of shame, subtly shift and push yourself back on him a little more, he doesn’t say as he lolls his head against the curve of your neck while his incredibly light exhaling on your skin comforts you after a long day. 
With a flutter of your eyelids, you slowly slip back into sleep with the happiness that comes with being roommates with your crush. 
It’s times like these that make you think maybe he loves you. It’s also times like these that make you forget that despite all of the endearing things about him and despite how much you care about him, you don’t truly know a lot about him.
Xavier has always been a man with a lot of secrets. You’ve known this since you first met him asleep in the forest. It’s true that you once accepted the fact you’d never learn all his secrets but that was before whatever this abnormal relationship that the two of you found yourself in. 
Even after living together for more than two months now, you still had no idea where he would go when he would sneak off in the middle of the night. You didn’t question where he goes anymore, you found that he wouldn’t give you a straight answer to save his life. You merely stayed up until you heard the sound of the door opening or the warped echo of air being sucked into a vacuum, indicating he teleported inside. 
So, when you wake up at two in the morning, finding yourself alone and the side of the bed where he laid mere hours ago already cold, you’re not surprised.
Getting out of bed, you slip on your slippers and drag your feet to the balcony. It’s a familiar situation when you collapse into the swing chair, with nothing but the cold and the chirping of the birds to keep you company until he undoubtedly returns with his body hosting a family of fresh wounds.
It’s incredibly frustrating because you love him and seeing him hurt, without you having been there to prevent it, drives you crazy. You wonder why he won’t tell you, and your heart sinks, as quickly as a stone cast in a lake, with the idea that maybe you were the only one thinking that your relationship meant more than it did. Because even after all this time, you still aren’t close to him in the way you want. 
Clenching your fists, you shove your eyes against them. It was all so infuriating when he ran off to fight Wanderers or whoever and left you all alone to overthink and worry about him like some helpless house plant. It was enough to make you want to cry as the strange foreboding sense of losing him begins to echo inside of you, making you nauseous.                                                                                 There’s only one way to get rid of this feeling. Taking in a deep breath, you settle to give him a piece of your mind about sneaking off so much and also to bite the bullet to confess your feelings. 
It was only a matter of waiting for him to actually return home and to get your heightened nerves to stop firing in every direction in the meantime. 
By the time you heard the door to the apartment creaking open, you’d nearly fallen asleep in the wicker swing chair. You swallow down the bitter taste of fear, ignoring the tumultuous waves it makes when it hits your stomach. You’d never get anywhere if you didn’t face him. 
Carefully, you hop up from your seat and make slow strides into the apartment. It’s still dark in the house; you hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights earlier. Yet Xavier carries a lightness around him, mostly imagined by yourself, that makes him easy to spot in the darkness. 
For a moment, things seem normal as he takes a few stiff steps forward. Suddenly, he falls forward, the white of his uniform nearly a blur with how fast he collapses onto the sofa, but it is nothing compared to the speed at which you rush to his side. 
You call his name, press two fingers to his throat, and let your eyes slip closed with a desperate concentration as you search for his pulse behind the blaring red of his collar. 
It’s a gradual pace, averaging twenty beats a minute and slowly rising. For anyone else, you’d immediately rush them to the hospital. For Xavier, that number is a relief. 
You hold your hand to your pounding heart, practicing deep measured inhales to calm it. It appears he fell asleep as soon as he entered the room, with only enough awareness to kick off his shoes at the door. 
It looks like your lecture will have to be postponed for another day. 
You’re thankful for all the training you had to take to become a hunter because it takes an enormous amount of effort to throw one of his arms over your shoulders and drag him to his bedroom. You make a mental note to never let him question your ability to carry him again as you sit him on the bed and shuffle off his uniform jacket, leaving him only in his pants. 
In a tender motion, you gently cup his face and examine him. Dirt cakes his face; and when you brush it away, there’s a small cut on his cheek. It hits you again just how reckless and secretive he can be, echoing with a bitter thought that he didn’t bring you again. The only bright spot is the little cut is his only injury this time. 
Laying him on his back, you leave for only a moment to get a warm washcloth and an adhesive from the bathroom. It’s a blue band-aid with a cartoonish pink bunny on it, something a kid would love and has probably been collecting dust in the drawer longer than you’ve been alive. 
It takes all the seriousness out of your body when you return, clean his face off, and place the colorful bandage on his cheek. It’s hard to believe this narcoleptic pretty boy was the strongest member of the Hunters Association. 
“I didn’t think when we moved in together I was going to become a babysitter,” you commented with a little huff and poke of his cheek. “You’re terrible at taking care of yourself. Can’t cook. Can’t stay awake. Can’t tell someone when you’re going out. I bet you didn’t even lock the door when you came in. …What if a Wanderer floated in after you and trampled all the flowers, or did you just not want to leave any for me tomorrow?”
You know your complaints are falling on deaf ears as he cuddles up to his pillow without a care in the world. But if you didn’t complain, you’d get depressed instead. Dropping to your knees, you sit on the floor and prop your elbow on the bed to get a better look at him. 
He looks so peaceful.
There’s no tension, no crease to his expression. It’d be easy to mistake him for a normal young man if it weren’t for the strong humming of his Evol tickling at the wall of your resonance.
“I’ll let you sleep, but you’re getting it in the morning! I expect answers. Otherwise, I won’t cook breakfast for you,” you attempt to sound threatening in your words with every poke to his cheek a not-so-silent promise to follow through. “I’ll take my missions with the new recruit all the ladies at work gossip about. And the next time I get a snack shipment, I’m letting Jeremiah have first pick!”
With one last prod to his face and no reaction otherwise, you stop your demands and sit back on your legs. 
Bit by bit, you feel your energy dissolving. It’s no use. It’s all empty threats. You’ll probably not cook for a few days, eat in front of him too, at least until he gives you those puppy eyes, and you’ll fold just like origami paper. You’ll still save him the snack you know he likes even if you allow Jeremiah first pick of the rest. And you’d never be interested in the new recruit or anyone else. 
Xavier can be distant and formal. For others, his hyper-independence was evident. Taking on missions alone and avoiding group settings is just the way Xavier’s personality works. He’s reliable and gets along with everyone at a surface level and he’s known to go out of his way to help others without seeking validation for it so it never ruffled any feathers when he goes off on his own or rejects an invitation to drink with the others after work. 
They didn’t see. They didn’t see how easy it was to care about him. They appreciate him but they weren’t aware of how intensely and passionately he could feel when he unfurls that independent nature. How he always quietly adjusts his dominant foot to point your direction whenever a Wanderer appears. How his voice drops and his touch becomes the smallest bit more graceful and careful when he sees you upset. How sweetly he looks when he sleeps.
It makes your resolve crumble and your heart squeeze, something only he can do without even being awake to know it. 
“You’re lucky I like you,” you mumble to him. 
As you lean closer, you easily ignore the stirring in your gut that tells you to stop. 
The bandage is a little rough against your lips as you seize the chance to kiss him. It’s a short and small thing, much more delicate than your prodding from earlier because you want to indulge the romantic in you. You want him to somehow sense the feelings cultivated in your heart over the past few months though impossible when he’s asleep.
You don’t let it last long. Instead, the desperate urge to feel his heat against you spurs you to rest your forehead against his cheek. It’s warm and soft, and the faint scent of pine trees of the no-hunt zone fills your nose. You savor being this close to him, allowing yourself to indulge in it until the heat on your skin starts to match his, and you finally let him have peace for the night.
With no need to remain in his room, you stand and pivot towards the door, wondering how you’ll manage to grasp any form of sleep tonight. However, you don’t make it two steps before there’s a tug at your arm.
You yelp as you’re pulled towards the bed while the shock has you stumbling forward into it. The hand leaving your arm in favor of grasping around your wrist stops you from falling completely but your knees have already buckled. You’re left nearly a head under him when he finally swings his legs over the side of the bed and shifts into a full sitting position. This position is oddly familiar. When you uncertainly force your eyes up to meet his face, this vulnerable angle becomes unmistakable.  
His voice is husked and rasped from sleep, sending a chill up your spine when paired with the swirling shadows darkening his blue eyes under his hooded lids and dark lashes. That’s the look of a predator, of the association’s strongest hunter, and you face the inkling realization that you’re the prey. 
Nervously, you begin to divert your eyes. He takes a page out of your own playbook and reaches under your chin to guide your sight back to him as you fight not to whimper at the pressure of his thumb pushing down as if he wants to part your lips. It isn’t until now that you notice how close you are to his lap and how another few inches would drop you to your knees.
“Why worry about Wanderers following me home when you’re so much scarier.”
“What do you mean?” 
Memory has never been your friend. This though is the first time you’ve forgotten how to breathe when his fingers completely close around your wrist. His hold is firm, preventing you from wringing your way out of his grasp, but it doesn’t hurt.
He might as well take that grasp and use it to squeeze your heart instead when he brings your hand to his face. You’re unsure what he’s planning; the awkwardness of the situation makes your fingers straighten and twitch away as he holds your hand closer to his face. Sensing your trepidation, he closes the last of the distance instead by tilting his head into your hand with the same affection as always as he lets your fingertip brush against the silly little bunny bandage. 
The familiarity of the motion puts your heart a little more at ease but not enough to bring your breathing back to you as he mumbles, “I don’t remember giving you permission to kiss me.”
Your lips part with a silent puff while your brows push forward, highlighting the confusion in your mind onto your face. He takes advantage of the moment to nuzzle your hand. It’s a notion you can’t appreciate as his words finally sink into your mind and reform into a horrifying conclusion.
“…You were awake the whole time.”
He chuckles so easily at the dry peep that echoes from you, the rivet of that warm sound collects in your palm and makes your face scalding hot. You didn’t face a burning heat like this even when fighting one of those flame dragons. All the while, Xavier was laughing at you…
“Not the whole time.”
With your head catching up, you find enough of yourself again to actually glare at him and smack his shoulder. “That’s not the point!”
With another display of strength, he locks your other wrist, pulls you up, and then snatches you into him. Luckily, you’re able to flatten your palms against his chest to brace yourself. His heart as well as his face is unnervingly calm compared to your own organ that’s currently orchestrating its escape from your chest, battering your ribcage even harder as you unconsciously stretch your fingers over his naked skin. 
You don’t like this. This bullying, which you only describe as such because you can’t think of a word more fitting for the way he’s treating you, is too one-sided. 
“It was on the cheek,” you argue with a steeled voice. You fake the confidence to stare him back down, choosing to trade your determination to confess to him tonight in exchange for preserving your pride. “It was friendly.”
To your satisfaction, your declaration of war makes him the one to pause this time. His eyes widen and there’s a quiver in those waves of blue that he hides by glancing down and away. 
“…Is that what it was?”
You nod. “I wasn’t…going to do anything else.”
Xavier smiles, shaking his head, and there’s a new determination in his eyes that causes your teeth to clench down on the inside of your cheek as he leans closer. 
“In that case, is it okay to return the favor?”
He doesn’t give you the time to answer. He’s already closing the distance, his dark lashes already fluttering, and his lips already puckering to kiss you as you’re squeezed flushed against him, only your palms stopping your chest from colliding with his. 
“Wait!”
Hearing your disapproval, he pauses, but that cheeky grin still doesn’t dissipate. 
“What's wrong?” he asks with a sigh. You’re sure it’s not a true question. “Am I not allowed to give you a friendly kiss as well.”
The implications make your stomach twist while your thighs squeeze together pathetically with the sudden throbbing of arousal that spikes through you as you tumble further and further into this rabbit’s trap.
“I—that’s!”
“So, you were misbehaving,” he concludes from your sheepishness. “I guess that means I need to punish you instead.” He breaks his hold around one of your wrists to ghost his fingertips along your cheek and down your neck until all you can do in response is breathe out a moan, much to his surprise given by the rise of his eyebrows and the slight dust of pink on his bewildered face. “…I didn’t think you were that sensitive there.”
Your mind swims with the traitorous thought of wanting to show him where you’re more sensitive dancing in your mind before you can sweep it away. When his fingers dance along your neck again, you whimper and hold in another moan.
“Don’t hold back on my account. You know my most sensitive spot after all, as hunting partners, it only makes sense for me to know yours, right?”
You can hardly think of a response to that. It’s true. You know his biggest weaknesses and as you come to terms with the situation you run your thumb over the plump inside of your thigh hesitantly. It takes you almost an entire minute to decide on what you want to say, and you don’t notice his hold on your wrist weakening.  
“My weakness—” 
Suddenly, your arm drops back to your side.
“I’m kidding,” Xavier states; the small smile he normally wears comes back to his face as you look up at him with wide eyes. “I was only curious as to what your reaction would be.”
The tension in the air wanes and buries itself in your heart. The embarrassment clings to every cell living in you, unshakeable as you try to keep a brave face. “You’re cruel.”
“Am I? You were the one touching me, all the while promising to run off with some rookie,” he reminds you. 
“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t—you’re so frustrating,” you scream at him, and this is the first time he appears to take you seriously all night.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes out, with less teasing and more concern. He wraps an arm around your waist. His legs slot between yours, leaving your knees to collide with the plush of the bed as he hugs you tighter and tighter until you’re nearly seated in his lap. “Don’t be mad. I only thought—” 
“Xavier?”
“Did you really mean it then?” he redirects. He snakes his other arm around your waist, this time when he holds you it feels…weak, and his pursed lips and narrowed eyes hold back a troubled emotion. “That it was in a friendly way?”
Your breath hitches at the swirl of his thumbs nervously circling the small of your waist. Nervously, he waits for an answer you long lost in the rapids of the constantly changing tides of the last few minutes. 
“If you meant it…if you truly wanted to kiss me,” he pauses, trying to find his voice. The one to tell you that you’re all he thinks about. “Then you should have woken me up.” His face holds a serene glow that completely enraptures you as he looks up at you. “I wouldn’t have rejected you,” he swore.
He loved you so much it ached. Moving in together should have been enough to prove it. He guesses not; because when he thinks you want him back, you’re so hesitant to accept. Even now, you’re unable to respond. 
This cycle has become painful, even for someone as patient as himself, the wait when you’re this close to him is agonizing. So, he decides now to be the one to end this circle the two of you found yourself in with one decisive motion. 
He tests the waters, not knowing if he’ll swim or drown, but he has confidence in his ability to read your personality and actions as he cups the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss. 
Your mind empties immediately, your body on autopilot when it registers the warm, silky skin of his lips on yours. Closing your eyes, you willingly tumble and fall into the taste of him, chasing after it when he breaks away. 
“There. We’re even,” he says, but to you, that’s far from the truth. You’re far from even after all the heartache and sleepless nights he’s been putting you through, after all the push and pull that left you aching and wanting both in your heart and between your thighs. 
The self-satisfied smile on his face quickly fades as you grope his shoulders, digging your nails in like you’re afraid he’ll escape. Your knees press to the top of the bed as you plant yourself more onto his lap. He braces his hands on your hips to catch you as you run your hand into his hair and crane his head back, so he has to look you in the eye.
His ears pinken at your sudden brazenness, but it doesn’t reflect in his voice as he smiles at you. “Are you trying to get more?” 
“Am I being too greedy?” you ask. He chuckles at the jut of your lips and the pleading eyes before you press another demanding kiss to the corner of his lips. 
Xavier moans from his throat as he latches onto your jaw to redirect your kisses to his lips. Kissing him is nearly maddening, the twitch of his muscular thighs under your ass making your mind hazy. With one hard squeeze at your hips, he catches up to the zealousness of your kisses. 
His tongue pokes and prods at your mouth. However, he doesn’t need much permission to keep going as you open your mouth wider. His mind skips and lags at just how quickly your mouth overtakes the slick appendage. It leaves him more than a little out of breath and flustered with the rate your mouths keep parting and meeting, tongues desperately searching and licking the inside your mouths as if this is the first meal you’ve had in weeks.
You’re hungry to memorize each other despite having all the time in the world now to do just that. When the two of you finally indulged enough and earned enough satisfaction, you’re able to calm down and readjust the pace. 
“I think we’re both greedy,” he jokes about the both of you before sliding his tongue back into your mouth. This time he’s slower as he presses down on your tongue, causing your teeth to lightly graze over the top of his.
There are too many sensations going on for you to keep up. The way your breasts hug his hard chest has you feeling sensitive while the heat seeping from his tongue stroking in your mouth has your stomach bundled in tight knots that won’t know release until he’s inside of you. 
Dreams were nothing compared to this. Nights filled with nothing but inappropriate thoughts of him turn into nightmares at the slim chance of having to face them again should this go wrong. 
Impatiently, his fingers curve into the hump of your ass to anchor you and encourage you to grind on his lap, or rather grind against the hard tent brazenly making its presence known with each hurried roll of your hips.
You whine from the separation of your sexes when he begins to lift you up, but your complaints quickly die in your throat. They’re replaced by a squeal as he flips you and your back bounces on the mattress.  
Xavier climbs over you, his face flushed, breath ragged, and overall, he’s just absolutely beautiful to you. Reaching up, you cup his cheek and play with the ends of his hair, unable to recall the last time you’ve felt this high. 
“Xavier,” you whisper breathlessly as you swoop his bangs back to see more of his handsome face and save it to memory. “What are we?”
Xavier tilts his head, furrowing his brow at your question, and there’s a second where a ray of doubt breaks through the clouds of lust in his irises. “We’re…whatever you want to be.”
“I want to be with you,” you say. Those words tumble out more effortlessly than you ever thought. 
Xavier overlaps your hand with his, holding on tight as if to prove a point. “You are with me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t,” he corrects. Then, he dazzles you as he always does, “I want you to tell me so there’s no mistake, and you can’t take it back later.”
You inwardly become embarrassed when it crosses your mind that this is the first time you’ve ever confessed to him without multiple drinks in your system. It’s too late to turn back now that you’ve crossed the Milky Way and landed on the other side. 
But why would you when you’re so close?
“I want to be with you always. Whenever and wherever you are. Whether that’s having fun together or fighting. I-I love you, and—”
“And I love you,” he answers. You’re not sure if you’re jealous or relieved that he can say those three words without hesitation.
“I don’t want anything to be between us. I don’t want any more secrets or hidden things. I’m tired of this. I just want to be real, more than partners or roommates or whatever other title that isn’t boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Okay,” Xavier agrees as easily as he agreed to be roommates with you in the first place. 
“Okay?”
“I want that too,” he agrees as he repositions himself on top of you and his lips curve into a small smirk, “girlfriend.”
You’re accustomed to the finicky organ known as your heart tightening with pain when you’re overwhelmed; this time when it skips a beat, it’s welcomed. Smiling, you gaze up at him as he releases a slow, strained breath. It’s validating to know he’s been just as nervous as you.
Everything suddenly becomes full force again when his knees move to either side of your legs while he pins your hands above your head in one tight fist. His teeth nip at your earlobe, and his free hand gropes at your breast, fingers outstretching to fully take it in his grasp. Wet kisses burn on your throat, each one firing off a rapid signal to arch your back. 
“Slow down,” you whine before cutting it off with a moan as he hits a particular delicate spot. The discovery spurs him on, like a pet with a new toy, and he bites your nape once again causing your hips to jerk. With a burning desire building in your stomach at every touch, you pitifully hug your thighs together to try to ease it. “I didn’t get a chance to absorb all that,” you tell him, mostly to get some time to catch up. It backfires wonderfully as he grips onto the bottom of your tank top.
“I have a better way to help you understand.”
The sheets shift with his movement, your lower half dipping towards him as if he holds his own gravitational field. He settles between your legs and strokes against you with one slow, languid rock. It instantly makes you throb. It’s painful how hard you clench over absolutely nothing, panties gathering the lust that’s dripping from you.  
You simultaneously hate and love him for causing this need that’s bubbling inside you. 
Large hands press your shirt further up your torso. “Arms up,” he demands softly, which you have no problem obeying, and he quickly lifts your shirt over your head.
He lowers his hands to hold at your waist, and they fall still on you as he takes in your naked skin. You’re not privy to his thoughts. The silence of the room feels defean-ing now that your needy gasps of air aren’t filling it.
He pauses, eyes taking you in as you raise your eyebrows at his hesitancy. Xavier smiles, mumbling out, “Just thinking where to start.”
Xavier smiles at you so tenderly. Everything about him is incredibly soft on first appearance. He has big blue puppy eyes, he prefers white, cozy clothes, and his voice is just as gentle as his appearance. Everything about him is soft except for his hands. 
Those are hardy and battle-honed, worn with calluses built up with every swing of the sword he’s taken since he was a child, enough of them to slay thousands of Wanderers over the years. 
They drag.
Oh, they drag so dangerously slow over your skin, dipping into the pudge of your stomach and highlighting a small circle in the warm, buzzing glow of his Evol. The rays shine gold over your flesh, shimmering brightly in the dark of the room. 
“Here,” he states before hunting down another spot on your torso. A beauty mark, like a beacon, earns the sharp eyes of a hunter. He zones in on the vulnerable location, creating a golden target. “Maybe here.”
You squirm with every mapped spot he creates. “Xavier.”
The residue of his power leaves your skin humming; you’re overly aware of each spot he highlights with his power. You like to think your senses would still be heightened regardless of this little game. After all, you’ve been wanting him to touch you forever.
Every night next to him felt like torture, being unable to touch him more than a hug when all you could feel on your back was his hard chest, his arm tight around your waist, and the outline of his cock against your ass as he sighed in your ear.
It runs through your head that he must have put more thought into touching you than you assumed as he continues to stripe lines over the top of your thighs right under your night shorts, making your breath heavy in your throat. You’re no longer sure if he’s marking you to tease you, to track what parts of your body he’s claimed for himself, or to simply make you laugh from the humming of his Evol tickling you like fuzzy static on an old tv screen. Even as he smiles at your shallow giggles, there’s no denying the aura of possession radiating from him that makes you antsy when he finally presses his finger to your sternum.
“Let’s start here,” he says followed by a soft hum as he tattoos a line straight between your breasts, leaving you highlighted in slowly fading graffiti.
“About time you decided,” you say with an playfully exaggerated roll of your eyes. He cocks his head at you with a sly smile.
“I can’t help if I want to touch all of you,” he murmurs. Any response you had ready dies when he licks the encircled zone of your shoulder then swiftly to the notch of your throat, drawing a moan out of you that you didn’t think you were capable of until you met him.
Tilting your head, you allow him more room to work as he kisses your chest. His warm tongue slips through the line he marked, his nose dragging against you as he litters your engorged skin with kisses. 
“More,” you beg. Who was he to keep you waiting any longer?
He slips a fingerpad over the tip of your nipple, gently pressing down and then rolling it. It does nothing to satiate you. Satisfaction keeps escaping your grasp, the goalpost of what’s enough moving further out of reach with every pinch and pull of your pebbling nipples. Chasing it makes you brash, and you give a hard push to the back of his head. 
Just as you want, he spoils you. He bites and nips the supple skin, drawing out soft pleas from your angelic lips. When he finally graces you with the slick, velvety lap of his tongue on your pert nipple, you mewl and arch. His lips are a little rough after being out all night, his hunger for you more palpable than ever as he gropes harder and sucks at your wet skin. 
Your aching pussy throbs with every brush of his clothed cock. Your patience drains more and more as you crave something to fill you. It isn’t until he switches sides and gently nips and suckles around your other teat that you realize he’s been fingerprinting you with his Evol, the polka dots slowly fade away each time he adjusts his hand to knead your breast.  
“You’re still being cruel,” you manage between moans. 
“I think I’m being very fair,” he reasons, recapturing your lips to silence your complaints, and it works as your mind keeps repeating when his tongue makes a temporary reservation back in the confines of your mouth. 
When he parts with you again, he cements it with a soft kiss then another. He keeps peppering them on you so fast that you almost miss the way his tongue darts over your bottom lip before his teeth bite down. 
Xavier sighs between his kisses, each one adding more pressure, turning from loving, adoration-filled into needy, heavy smooches.
“Wanted.”
Another kiss that leaves you whimpering.
“To.”
He fondles your chest again, alternating between rolling and pinching your sensitive, puffed nipple then grasping your bare tits in his hands, molding and kneading them.
“With you.”
With your thighs closing at his waist, you curve your back and meet the sloppy buck of his hips. There’s a rush of excitement leaking from you when his kisses trail back over your breasts, hitting the tiny ring of bite marks he seared on you before tracing across the targets of light decorating your belly. 
“So bad.”
Skin on fire, legs spread wide to accommodate his chest as he sinks lower to press wet kisses to your stomach, you call out to him. “Xavier, baby,” you whisper and brush his hair to get his attention. And does he give it to you when his eyes flick up to look at you from under the grey tuffs of his hair.
Your mouth goes dry at the sight. 
You bring your finger to your lips, not only to pry them open so you can speak but also because you need to bite on it. Otherwise, the surge of lust in you at the sight of his head so close to your cunt and the back of your thighs resting on his broad shoulders would cause you to cum right there. 
“My most sensitive spot…is my legs…”
It doesn’t take long for him to catch on, and he quirks his eyebrows up at you with false concern. He lowers his head to kiss your stomach again, this time noticeably closer to your mound. “Are you sure you want to tell me that in this situation? It isn’t wise for the prey to put themselves at a disadvantage.”
“I said no secrets,” you remind him, curling a finger to beckon him back up. Inwardly, you curse that he decides to bring your legs with him by keeping them propped up on his shoulders. Somehow, you manage to ignore his obvious teasing and poke at the cutesy adhesive still stuck on his face. “If you were listening, you should know you’re still in trouble for sneaking off so much without telling me.”
“It wasn’t on purpose,” he tells you, a layer of remorse riding his explanation. “I wasn’t expecting to go anywhere.”
Amused, you shake your head at how boyish he sounds as he defends himself while he pulls off that wide and pleading look to bolster his cause. Even with your amusement, you’re not willing to let him off just yet. Sternly, you tap his cheek again. 
“That’s not going to work this time.”
Pouting, Xavier holds onto your hand, stopping your playful jabs. “Please give me a chance to lighten my sentence, Miss Hunter, it was unintentional,” he negotiates with a kiss on your palm. The sincerity in his request eases your heart enough to allow him a little wiggle room, or perhaps it’s the slick trailing more between your folds. 
“You only got until morning to make a case for yourself.”
“I’ll make you forget by then.” He snatches up your ankle towards his face, a much more pleasant position than your last, as your muscles were starting to ache from having your knees pushed to your face. 
He caresses your ankle, pressing an airy kiss. The little bump of his nose against the ball of your ankle tickles, making a giggle cascade from your lips as you slide lower with the pull of your leg.  
“Silly,” he mumbles before shuffling off your shorts. Your underwear comes off with more of a fight, the stickiness soaked into it causing the dainty fabric to cling lewdly to your skin and outline to the shape of your cunt. 
You don’t often hear Xavier curse but that’s what happens along with his tongue rolling over his upper lip when he catches the image. He reaches out and his fingers twitch, threatening to curve against the spreading stain in your panties but he resists and hooks his fingers into the waistband. He takes his sweet time watching the doused material peeling from you with thin strands of cum sticking to it.
It takes him more effort than he’d like to admit to resist diving straight in. Instead, he keeps it slow, sensual, as much for his sake as yours as he skims his lips up your calf.
He does the same with your center, carefully pressing two fingers against you as he holds your leg up on his shoulder. His mouth stays on your inner thigh, but his eyes are entirely locked on his fingers and the way they effortlessly collect your cum and slip between your lips with barely a push. You can feel his breath shudder out against you before he forces it down with a bite of your thigh but that does nothing to hide the way his entire body tenses when his fingers slip from your clit all the way to your clenching hole. 
It does nothing good for your ego or your sanity to think how normally calm and collected Xavier is losing his composure just by touching you. How he’s so obviously turned on when you haven’t nearly returned as much as he’s been giving you. 
He presses his hands at the crook of your thighs, pushing your legs further apart, and quenches himself between your legs. His name leaves you in one low drawn-out sigh. Sure, you were baiting him when you told him your weakness, but you weren’t expecting him to abuse the knowledge so readily. 
He held your legs blood cuttingly tight to keep you from squirming away from his wriggling tongue, and by the moan that reverberates from his chest and the strong jerk against the mattress when your juices hit his tongue, you think he would only be satisfied if you crushed his head between your straining thighs. When he suckles your clit; when his voice, muffled, hits your pussy; when his biceps tighten around your legs as if encouraging you to do so, and when his eyes meet yours with a silent demand, you know that’s exactly what he wants.
At the plunging of his fingers in you, you break down, catch his head in a vice-like grip, and push him into you. Your heart flutters and the remaining butterflies in your stomach migrate away at the growl he lets out. Your walls happily clench around those thick fingers, your dripping hole making it easy and smooth work to pump in and out of you. You’re not sure when he decides he would rather feel your muscle tightening around his tongue instead, but you can only respond with the tilt of your head back into the sheets and the stroke of your heel on his bare back when it happens. 
The only thing better is his palm grinding down on your clit, alternating between slow rotations and rough sporadic grinding that has your toes curling and your eyes glossing with the buildup of tears.
“You’re too loud,” he comments yet he doesn’t stop, in fact, he presses down harder, making you whine. “You’re going to wake the neighbors.”
“Since when have you cared what the neighbors think?” you barely manage to whimper out. 
“I’m not worried about them. I just don’t want anyone else to hear what only I should,” he remarks, lapping up the juices spilling down your legs.
His confession is a surprise to you. You never took him to be so possessive. But if that possessiveness is what kept his tongue swirling on your swollen clit and an intense moan escaping your lips then you didn’t mind. 
However…
His fingers weren’t enough anymore. 
Choosing to surprise him, you decide to turn the tables on him. You jerk your legs, catching him off guard but not enough to tip him over. He looks at you with concern. It doesn’t stop you from trying again with extra force this time until you can weaken his grasp and force him down on his back. 
Having the world’s strongest hunter under you was only something you could dream of—first as a rival and now as a lover. The adrenaline has you tunnel-visioned as you straddle his stomach, your soaked cunt making a waterboard out of his abs, which Xavier has also picked up on if the dusky pink on his cheeks is anything to go by.
You grab his hands, gripping tight to regain his attention. Xavier looks taken back especially when your fingers interlock his and pin them back. Whether he’s shocked or curious you don’t know, and you also don’t ask to borrow his power. 
“You’ve been having too much fun,” you tell him as you check to make sure your finger is sufficiently coated with light. “For my turn, I’ll attack here and here,” you whisper, marking off his chest and drawing a line across his neck.
There’s a hint of worry finally when he sees you’re aiming for his weak spot. “If you’re trying to teach me the best spot to kill Wanderers, I already know.”
“More like the best spots to defeat a Xavier,” you remark, flattening your palm over his heart, finding your own thumping when you verify that you finally managed to raise his heart rate to the levels of a normal human.
“You’re pretty forward today.” Xavier reaches out to hold your hips and cocks his head at you with an inquisitive glance. “Are you always this easy to excite or is it because of me?” 
You feel your face heat at his question. As if he didn’t already know the answer. No one else could make you like this. Needy. Shy. Aroused. Flustered. Confused. Infatuated and in love more than you’ve ever been. 
Your eyes soften. “And if I said it was you?”
“Then, you can use me all you want,” he confesses and gently coaxes you back to sit on his hard cock. You smoothly slide your hands to his shoulders, rotating loving strokes into his fair skin before you stop to free his cock from his pants.
It springs readily into your palm, so responsive. You reward him by letting him have a little taste of you. He tries to hide the hitch of his breath as if he could hide any reaction from you right now. It’s so hard to get him to react to anything, and your brain won’t let you miss a single moment as you sit back onto his lap and grind.
His cock slides between your lips, so big that you can feel it stroking you fully, his swollen, dribbling head making you whimper whenever it bumps your clit. 
“You, you’re so—” he begins, his eyes flitting from the gentle shake of your tits to his cock glistening between your folds, but he loses his voice to a low whimper when you increase your pace. It’s not on purpose but you can’t help yourself; you’re aching for him just as much as he is for you. “Hah, please...” 
His cock is leaking onto him with each sleek thrust, a little pool of precum glistening on his belly as your hips buck. It makes your stomach twist and your insides twitch to see him so excited for you.
“Not yet,” you tell him, brushing fingers across the length of his throat. His mouth parts with a croak that plasters a crooked smile on your face.
His eyebrows knit, and he frowns as you decide to tease him a little by slowing your strokes while your nails continue to follow the thick vein protruding from his neck as he desperately holds down his whines. 
“And you call me the cruel one.”
He was gorgeous under you. Beautifully flushed and sheened with sweat. His lips were so close to quivering each time his swollen head was swallowed back under your heat. It’s strange how his pitiful expression actually excites you, leaving you wetter and funneling this cycle of him repeatedly scrunching his face before relaxing it with a moan. 
“Please,” he asks again, this time more politely, pleadingly, and downright cutely. He knows what he’s doing because you decide to take pity on him when he gazes at you. “Please let me have you?”
It takes only a second for you to reposition yourself and hover over him. There’s a split hesitation when it registers that you’re actually going to have sex with him and how large he actually is with his cock standing tall and the tip kissing at your entrance.  You press downward anyway.
The stretch is both painful and pleasurable, straining your nerves as you lower. The wince on your face is accompanied by a hiss on your lips. However, Xavier is there again to catch you.
“Let’s take our time,” he instructs.
You nod, slowly thrusting halfway onto him. Each rise and fall of your hips coating him with your cream little by little makes it a bit easier to sheath him each bounce. 
“Good girl,” he whispers soothingly. Face constricting, he bites down on his lip to hold in a weak groan. It’s not your fault that the praise made your walls flutter and tighten.
When you finally suck him in completely, your eyes roll. 
“There you go,” he continues. He slides his hand into one of yours, encouraging you to hold onto it as you slowly and pointedly follow the curve of his cock, “Just like that,” he rasps out.    As you take him in fully, your pussy reaching his lap and pushing against his balls, you find it hard to concentrate on the exact words leaving him.
You take a minute to sit with him fully sheathed inside of you, allowing your stretched core to get more accustomed to his cock and also for the high of joining with him to cool off. Otherwise, you’d lose control.
You feel so full. It’s a wonderful sensation, and the pleasure increases tenfold when you lift your hips then have him stretch you again.
Rubbing your fingertips into the back of his palm, you lift and slam back onto him again, causing a ragged groan from you both that ricochets off the walls of the room. It isn’t until now that you recognize how bad you’ve been needing this.
Needed him. 
You’re still nowhere near understanding why this need is inside of you. Anyone can give you pleasure, and he’s not the first, but nothing quite matched the warmth overtaking you when his cock pistons and rubs against your nerves as you ride him. 
The thought that Xavier was right about fate being written in the stars barely breaks through the thick fog of arousal clouding your brain. The heat spurs you to bounce harder to meet his jerking thrusts. 
He sighs under you; the pressure on his lower half increases while your eyesight blurs and your head angles back. You’ll both be each other’s undoing at this rate, he thinks, as he watches the beads of sweat accumulating in little shiny droplets on your forehead and on your bouncing chest in a light sheen.
Chasing that desire to see you undone, he pulls you to a halt, burying himself deep inside of you, before pressing his hand to your mound, brushing past the patch of damp hair to zone in on your sticky, swollen clit. 
The instant whine of his name makes him dizzy. Centuries have gone by, and he’s never heard you say his name with such wanton desperation nor seen you grind onto him, stirring his cock in you as if your sanity depended on it.  
His certainly depended on you. Always has especially in the many decades he thought he’d never see you again. That need is even clearer from how sensitive yet eager his cock is to you squeezing around it as you shudder on top of him while keeping an unbearably tight hold on his hand. Your movements come to a near stop except for the occasional rut to prolong the rush of your orgasm. 
The sight of you breaking down on top of him threatens to make his eyes roll back as he squeezes onto your legs for grounding. Your strangled gasp followed by your muscles relaxing tells him that you’re coming down.  
“I take it you’ve finished,” Xavier says with a smirk, and you only have half the mind to swat at his chest like a lazy cat. Your legs burn, your chest unable to fill with enough oxygen to catch your breath. You think you’ll skip the gym tomorrow but Xavier has other plans.
“I’m not finished,” he reminds you. 
You look down at Xavier; you’d been so busy finding your own pleasure, you didn’t realize he hadn’t cum yet. You feel a lingering guilt but he swiftly takes the situation into his own hands.
You’re still too sensitive to fight back as he slides his cock out of you with a wet pop. It takes two swift movements for him to lift you off of him and roll you onto your stomach.
Your chest feels restricted, tight to the mattress as he presses on top of you, his grey-brown hair rubbing your shoulder as he cuddles your back. It’s an affectionate notion, distracting from the pressure in your lower half as he slides off the last of his clothes and thrusts his cock back inside of you. 
You thought you were filled to the brim the first time, yet this angle was different. It felt much tighter, and the slightest shift of his hips had you muffling moans into your arms. 
“I want to hear you,” he sweetly requests, yanking on your hips to raise your ass higher and pull you further away from the muffling effects of the bed. Your fracturing mewls mix into his grunts, both sounds washing out the sloppy, wet paps of his cock pounding into you. 
His hand swoops down your bending back in one long soothing stroke before his head collapses onto you. His grunts are loud, tumbling right into your ear along with the slapping sound of his hips meeting your ass. Your legs feel like jelly, and the rest of your body becomes weightless as your mind only focuses on his cock recklessly burning its way through you.
Xavier’s breath rolls against your back along with his forehead as he buries you under his weight; his grip on your thighs tightens to an unbearable degree, leaving you to wonder if you’ll have marks in the morning. 
You don’t really care if he does when he moans your name and heat fills you, spreading with each sporadic thrust until he finally bottoms out inside you one last time and holds until he completely empties. 
Taking his time to enjoy the sensation, he waits before pulling out of you, making you whimper with the sudden void. Shakily, you collapse back into the sheets and flip onto your back with a sigh. His eyes are still half-lidded as he watches you; he chews briefly on his bottom lip, reminding you of the look in his eyes earlier. 
“Xavier,” you question but he silences you with a kiss, which you tiredly return. His fingertips slide down from your knee to your thigh, and he teases your opening, the mixture of cum making it easy for him to stroke your still spasming pussy. 
Xavier sighs against your lips before moving his kisses to the swoop of your neck. “You’re so beautiful and all mine.”
Your mouth parts with a dry moan as he slides thick fingers over your clit. It starts to ache from his touch but it’s hard to deny him, even as he tortures you with his methodic and precise rotations over the bead.
His name is on your mouth, each syllable heavy on your tongue. You leave garbled gasps in his mouth as he makes out with you while your hand draws down his chest, attempting to make a mental map of every twitching muscle and healed wound on the way down.
Your heart jumps with the twitch of his cock when you wrap your hand around it. There’s going to be no trouble getting him to rebound, you think. He’s already thickening again with the warm strokes of your hand and tracing of your fingers over the slowly beating vein lining the underside of his shaft. 
Xavier doesn’t even let you finish exciting him before he rolls back on top of you and settles his head between your breasts. Between all the cum in between your legs and his half-hard cock, it isn’t as mind-numbing to have him inside you. What is different is to feel him twitching and growing inside you with his renewed thrusts. 
You’re hiccupping by the time he pushes your legs back and starts to hit deep inside of you, leaving the corner of your eyes tearing. You’re overwhelmed with everything. The uncharacteristic amount of energy he possesses as his hips snap into you. How each powerful rock leaves tingles aftershock-ing inside you, ruining your chances to recover before he does it again. The heavy scent of sex mixed with pine overwhelms your nose. His sweaty chest blocks out any light in the room, sealing any notion that you can be distracted by anything other than him as he pushes up your knee towards your chest.
You’re quickly working up to your second orgasm; the painful cramping in your foot tells you it’ll be bigger than the last. You’re right. When you come undone again, it’s with a shrill sob. You’re too out of it to even register when he finishes until he starts kissing your neck again.
He’s still inside you, you realize once your mind finally lands back on earth. His cock is resting in the heat inside you, waiting for him to work the two of you back up again. You know that’s the goal when his thumb gently brushes over one of your nipples again. Your sore insides constrict and strain. You don’t think you could survive a third round. 
“Xavier, please, no more.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice dry and husky in your ear as he kisses under it. 
“Too much,” you tell him, pushing on his chest to make some space between the two of you.  
“I didn’t catch that,” he coos defiantly. When he notices that you’re being serious, he obediently pulls out of you. His kisses become smoother as he pecks your lips. “What’s wrong? Is it aching?”
You nod then puff your cheeks in frustration when you see the amusement on his face.
“It’s not funny!” you say, holding onto that angry, childish pout until his smile turns sympathetic. 
“You’re right,” he agrees and shifts off you. Quickly, he locates his briefs on the corner of the bed. He steps out of bed and pulls them on. To your surprise, he leaves you, alone and cold.  
“Where are you going?”
Xavier disappears without answering you and only the sound of running water gives you any sort of hint of where he might’ve gone. When he returns, it’s with a rag dangled in his hand. 
“A boyfriend should help clean his girlfriend up after times like this,” he explains and leans over you; he presses the wet cloth between your legs; the rag is incredibly soothing on your bloated skin. It’s a blessing to your sore muscles as he starts to massage and clean you. “It feels better already, doesn’t it?”
“I guess,” you answer pitifully, grumbling a bit because the look on his face still seems like he’s teasing about your neediness. 
“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s my fault you’re a little sore.” He’s definitely taunting you, but you don’t have the energy to fight about it. “All done,” he remarks, tossing the rag to a forgotten section of the dresser. He carefully climbs back on top of you, waiting for the moment your hand finds his bicep to guide him down next to you. 
It isn’t the first time he’s been this affectionate, and it won’t be the last time. However, this time feels more special than any time you’ve slept together, and not just because you can feel the stickiness of his sex-clad skin against your naked body. Well, that’s part of the reason.
“Something on your mind?”
“Nothing. I’m really happy,” you explain. 
“If it really makes you that happy, maybe we should do it more often,” he offers, and you pinch his unwounded cheek to punish him. Jumping back, he knocks your hand away and caresses his wounded face. “I’ll need another bandage if you keep doing that,” he complains weakly. 
“You only have yourself to blame!”
Xavier sighs. “You’re always right,” he concedes, more so that he can cuddle you without fighting rather than actually agreeing with you, you fear. 
“I don’t believe you.”
“Are you really doubting your boyfriend?” he asks. Heartbeat skipped, you clamp your mouth shut as he unfolds the blankets over the two of you. 
It’s finally settling back into your mind that the two of you are a couple now. “I’m still…not used to it yet with you being that.”
“You will get used to it the longer we’re together. The same as I will.” Xavier sighs, happily so. “Although, we might run into the same problem again.”
You blink at him. “Why?”
Thoughtful, Xavier hums then explains, “First comes love then comes marriage as they say.”
He catches you off-guard once more. As always, Xavier is forever forging on ahead with little regard for convention. “Aren’t you thinking too far ahead?”
“Maybe,” he agrees but there’s no drop in his confidence as he smiles at you and draws his hand over your hairline. “But I loved you since we met.”
“Xavier, please,” you beg, finding your favorite place to hide your flustered face in the crook of his elbow. 
He can’t help but laugh at you as he curls his arm around you. “Especially that,” he confesses and places one more kiss on the top of your head before inviting you to go to sleep. 
You do, falling asleep against his chest less than thirty minutes later. For him, sleep is elusive for once as he mulls over the day’s events.
The word girlfriend on his tongue is sweet. The idea itself burns wonderfully in his chest, but it isn’t enough. He knows he still needs to wait a bit longer, take his time, your bashful response to his prodding was enough to tell him that it isn’t time yet. It’s hard not to rush when this is the closest he’s ever been to the one thing he truly wants. 
Xavier guesses he’ll still have to rely on his dreams for a little while longer. It’s okay, he tells himself, it’ll work out this time. He’ll find a place to settle with you and have a quiet life, a place where he can see stars. 
And this lifetime, when he asks you to marry him, he hopes you’ll say yes.
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aettuddae · 3 days
Text
business matter — chapter 58.
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↳ synopsis: two of the most important kpop companies covet a partnership with a huge global brand, only to be surprised when the deal is extended to both labels. fearing potential sabotage and cynical strategies to secure exclusivity for just one of them, both CEOs resort to desperate measures. in a bid to maintain trust and prevent betrayal before the signing, they come up with a pact: forcing a fake relationship between the leaders of their star girlgroups. if one side attempted to fail the other, they threaten to expose it all to the conservative south korea.
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masterlist | prev | next
[written chapter]
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all the lights in seoul went out. although the girl had not yet fallen asleep completely, the shock after the blackout had awakened her. once she understood what was happening she might have gone back to sleep if something hadn't abruptly crashed into the door and then slammed it open, without her even getting out of bed. from the dark house, serim emerged holding her phone that had the flashlight on and once inside the room she aggressively kicked the door to close it.
"what are you doing…?" karina whispered.
before she could hear her, serim made an olympic leap towards the bed where the blackhaired woman was resting and, ignoring the complaints and pushes that she gave her to get out of her bed, she managed to hide under the sheets. they both fell silent and then only serim's heavy breathing could be heard.
"what's going on?" the youngest asked stoically.
“what's going on, karina? there was a blackout." she said obviously.
“yes, serim, i can notice that, but why are you in my bed?” she spoke into the air since jang was completely covered.
“promise me you won’t laugh.” she asked.
“i won't laugh." she assured, already trying to hold back her laughter.
from beneath her, in the part of her body that was underneath the blanket, she felt serim poke her abdomen with her little finger. karina tried to stop her, but she continued until she understood what she wanted and put her hand under the coverlet, with her pinky extended, and she intertwined it with serim's, sealing her promise.
“i am very afraid of the dark.” she admitted. “since i was little, i could never get over it.” she sounded upset, like she was having trouble breathing. “i hate to thank you, but luckily you're here because i don't know what i would have done if i was alone during the blackout.”
“are you still afraid of the dark?”
"do not judge me!"
"i'm not!"
serim began to poke the contrary's abdomen repeatedly and quickly to annoy her, to which karina tried to get away from her and catch her hands to make her cease the action. out of nowhere, a loud crash was heard causing serim to let out a sharp scream of terror accompanied by a jump on the mattress, and then move disastrously and frantic trying to cover every small hole that led to the outside, messing up the bed, and approaching karina to cling to her body so that she would save her from whatever the threat was. due to the position in which she had ended up after so much rolling around on the bed, the closest extremity of yu within her reach was her legs, so she hugged one of these tightly.
“serim, serim.” she tried to detach her from her leg without results, so she rested her hands on her back. “it was the neighbor upstairs colliding with a chair, nothing's wrong, don't worry.” she patted her skin, frustrated at having to take care of a 26-year-old. “come, get out of there.”
the youngest took the girl by one of her arms and carefully pulled it upwards, trying to get her out from under the covers, but she resisted, clinging to her body tightly so she could stay there below.
“no, karina, i can’t.” she refused, her voice fragile. “what do i do if the boogeyman is out there in the dark?”
“the only thing out here in the dark is me and the oxygen that is not reaching you right now.” she continued to exert force. “namu, don't worry, i'm here.”
“i don't know if i'm more scared of the boogeyman or you.”
"come here." she finally got the older girl to uncover herself and take her head outside, although now holding on tightly to her shirt. “it's okay, you're scared, i'm not going to do anything bad, don't worry.” she tried to calm her down.
barely seeing her image with the little light that filtered from behind the curtains of the room's large window, yu noticed that her hair was a mess due to all the movement she made before, so, leaving a hand on serim's shoulder, she took the other to fix the locks that were in her face.
“you don't mind me sleeping here, do you?” jang asked weakly, fear and vulnerability impossible to hide.
“five minutes ago i would have told you to leave, but now that i see that you are seriously terrified of the dark, i can't be that mean.” she laughed softly. “what does it say about myself if you choose the boogeyman instead of me?”
“i could make great jokes about you and the boogeyman, but i'm scared so maybe another time.” she said with a sad voice and her lips forming a pout.
the blackhaired found that comment cute, so she couldn't resist a light smile, and giving a caress to the girl's cheek, as if it were a reassuring, friendly pat. she turned her body that was on her side facing serim and lay down on her back, but the oldest didn't move, instead she took advantage of her change of position to wrap herself around her arm and hide her head on her neck.
“namu, you can't sleep so close to me.” she carefully tried to push her body.
“i need to be touching you to know that there is someone and not be afraid.”
she babbled with her face still between karina's shoulder and jaw, moving to circle her torso and hold onto it, lacing her fingers with the fabric of her pajamas that draped over her ribs. by hugging her more securely, the young one could no longer separate her from her, and on the other side, she only felt her getting closer and closer. due to the little space between their bodies, the vocalist's nose constantly rubbed against the other's skin, and this one couldn't help but be distracted by this detail.
“why is your nose cold?” she asked in a low volume.
the girl returned to the previous position she was in, standing on her side, face to face and impossibly nearer to serim, who, due to the motion, remained holding the youngest in her arms, and upon noticing this, she rested her hands on her waist and lower back to press and attract her towards her.
"i have no idea." unlike her voice moments ago when she was scared, now her words came out in a serious deep tone typical of when you just woke up, still in a whisper.
yu held her face gently between her fingertips and moved closer to her, brushing their noses lightly once, taking a second to appreciate the sensation of the recent touch on her skin before lifting her chin again to rub her nose against jang's again and then maintain that contact for a moment, going back and forth slowly and tenderly, until she brought her lips to the opposite tip and left a kiss there.
before separating from her, serim moved towards her to capture her mouth with her own, but karina turned around, lying face up, quickly, avoiding the connection.
"i can't, i have a boyfriend." she remembered, that sentence coming out between labored breaths, as if she had just run.
serim rolled on the mattress, ending up on the opposite end of it, the back of her hand falling on the dancer's chest, keeping contact, she gave a frustrated sigh.
“so, you don't do it because you have a boyfriend,” she reiterated. “not because you don't want to." observed.
"think whatever you want." yu dismissed her, returning to the same sour tone with which she always spoke to her, adjusting her pillow to go to sleep.
“karina." the woman called after a moment of complete silence.
"now what?" tha named one asked tired, she was sleepy.
“can you hold my hand?” she asked shyly.
“namu…”
“it's not romantic at all, it's just that i need to be in contact with you to be reassured that there is someone else and i'm not alone in the darkness.” she explained honestly.
the youngest didn't react, so serim thought that she would not pay attention to her and so began to breathe with difficulty as she became aware of the lack of light again and felt helpless in it, but before she lost her composure she felt the touch of karina on her skin, sliding along it in search of her hand. the oldest made her task easier, tapping on her to make it simpler to find it. yu then wrapped her palm around jang's thumb, holding it steady, bringing calm to serim, and finally helping her fall asleep.
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(!)
— taglist [CLOSED]: @yoontoonwhs @cwpiqwon @aliceiwk @xen248 @gtfoiydlyj @rinapomu @aeriuchinarga @multiliker @somedaydream @impossiblesharkcashrebel @yjiminswallet @haerinsloverr @yerimbrit @73vyn @dni-unavailable @yizhuobberi @sewiouslyz @yeetaberry127 @masuowo @yallatalla @aerithykly @chaenniefirst @minfolio @starrynini05 @hotluvlet @wmnrhot @mineige @lisaswifey @brocoliisscared @fae-the-wanderer
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echobx · 2 days
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bottom rafe bottom rafe bottom rafe bottom rafe bottom rafe bottom-
summary: reader is overstimulating Rafe, basically porn without plot
warnings: handjob, oral (male receiving), praise kink, p in v (unprotected)
word count: 873
author's note: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to write this 😭😭😭 I just woke up and got the urge for it idk. I hope you like it tho.
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“You're being so good to me,” you coo and bat your lashes at the boy underneath you. You'd’ve never imagined that of all people, Rafe would be a bottom but the way he is babbling incoherently is making your arousal puddle in your tiny panties.
“Can't do no more- oh god-” he pants as you keep on jerking him off and approaching his third orgasm that night.
“You can give me one more, baby,” you pout before leaning down to kiss his pink tip, tasting the cum from his previous releases. Your tongue remains there, licking and slightly pressing against his slit until you hear his head fall back into the pillows and long white spurts of his cum land on your face, but mostly inside your mouth.
Rafe is panting and even if you wanted to give in, you promised him to not do it. You promised to only stop once he's done to your liking, or if he utters the safe word, but you know he won't do that because he always has the need to prove himself to you.
“No more, please,” he begs, and you smile up at him, your hand is still wrapped around his length, softly squeezing and slowly pumping.
You give him a sweet and innocent smile, “but, baby, you said, until your balls are empty.” You cup his balls with your free hand, rolling them in your fingers and squeezing just enough to hear him whimper. “These don't feel empty to me, yet.”
“Just one, please,” Rafe babbles and you purse your lips.
“We'll see about that.” There's a spark in your eyes, one that he doesn't miss, and it nearly makes him cum again. He's completely overstimulated and tired, and sore, which he had never imagined possible.
And when your head dives down to lick a stride up his massive cock, he can't help but moan. He's fully at your mercy, and you love every single second of it. Teasing his tip with your tongue, sucking on it as if it was a popsicle before taking him fully. Letting him hit the back of your throat a few times, making him curse and whine with it.
“Y/n, I'm gonna- please,” Rafe is almost pleading, but he would be dumb to say the one word that would make you stop. Especially when you start to take him even deeper, deep throating him until your nose presses against his pelvis. This is what he trained you for, and it's the best gift you could've given him.
You slither your tongue along the base of his cock as you bop your head, and you can't stop your hips from grinding on his leg, desperately seeking your own release.
It doesn't take much longer for Rafe to cum, his dick twitching inside your mouth and your eyes fixed on him. His face contorts with pleasure, his abs flex and his legs tremble beneath you as he fills your throat with his hot seed.
But you don't even think about stopping. Swallowing hard around him, you keep on sucking him off, taking every last drop of his cum from him before letting your teeth lightly grace over him as you pull him out of you.
“Look at you, all fucked out,” you tease him and softly slap his dick against your cheek.
“Can't- please, baby,” he mumbles, but you know he can, and you know he will.
“Promise, just one more,” you say and sit up. “I feel so very empty, baby,” you coo and he mewls a little but nods. You get up and free yourself of the tiny piece of fabric that had stopped you from fucking him before.
A loud moan escapes the both of you when you sink down on his semi. You love having Rafe under you, to be able to control him completely. But you love it even more to feel him get hard inside you, the way his dick twitches and the low whimpers that fall from his pretty lips.
“You're such a good boy, Rafe,” you praise him as you start rolling your hips, feeling the stretch his cock gives you, makes you see stars every single time, but you continue nevertheless.
“Love you so much, baby,” he muses, and you lift yourself up, slowly and deliciously before ramming down. You know he can't keep it together for long when you do this, but that was the goal.
“Fuck- keep going- love you,” he babbles as you bounce on him and just minutes later he spills into you, groaning as he finishes, and you lose yourself in it. Clenching around him and screaming his name as you come undone and fall to his chest.
“Do I have to say it?” Rafe asks through heavy pants, his hand stroking over your back.
“Five is a good score,” you giggle breathlessly.
“Next time, it's your turn,” Rafe sighs, and you can feel him drift off into sleep, while his dick is still buried deep inside you.
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please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho
taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @drwstarkeyy @immyowndefender @julczimozart @notdxbya
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deoidesign · 1 day
Text
How I save time on backgrounds as a full-time webcomic artist
Hi! I make webcomics for a living, and I have to be able to draw a panel extremely fast to keep up with my deadlines. I draw about 50 panels a week, which gives me about 45 minutes per panel if I want any semblance of a healthy work-life balance.
Most webtoon artists save time on backgrounds by using 3d models, which works for them and is great! but personally I hate working in 3d... I went to school for it for a year and hated it so much I completely changed career paths and vowed never to do it again! So, this is how I save time without using any 3d, for those of you out there who don't like it either!
This tactic has also saved me money (3d models are expensive) and it has helped me converting my comic from scroll format into page format for print, because I have much more art to work with than what's actually in the panels. (I'll touch on this later)
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So, first, I make my backgrounds huge. my default starting size is 10,000 x 10,000 pixels. My panels are 2,500 pixels wide, so my backgrounds are 4x that, minimum. Because of this, I make them less detailed than I could or that you might expect so it doesn't look weird against my character art when I shrink portions of it down.
I personally find it much easier to add in detail than to make "removing" details look natural at smaller sizes, but you might have different preferences than I do.
I also make sure to keep all of my elements on separate layers so that I can easily remove or replace them, I can move them to simulate different camera angles more easily, and it's simple to adjust the lighting to imply different times of day.
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Then I can go ahead and copy/paste them into my episodes. I move the background around until it feels like it's properly fitting how I want.
Once I've done that in every panel, I'll go back through the episode and clean up anything that looks weird, and add in solid blacks (for my art style) Here's a quick before and after of what that looks like!
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This makes 90% of my backgrounds take me just a few hours. This is my tactic when I'm working in an environment that an entire scene, or multiple scenes, will take place.
But many panels will inevitably have a location that's used exactly once, and it would waste time and effort to draw a massive background for those. So in 10% of cases, I just draw the single panel background in the episode. I save all of these, just in case I can re-use it later (this happens more often with outdoor locations, but I save them all nonetheless!)
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I generally have to draw about 2 big backgrounds per episode, and 3-5 single-panel backgrounds per episode! At the beginning of an arc/book the number is higher, but as the series is continuing and I'm building up an asset library of indoor and outdoor elements to re-use for the book, the number generally goes down and I save more time.
My series involves time travel and mysteries, so there's a lot of new locations in it and we're constantly moving around. If I were working on a series that was more consistent in this aspect, this process would save me even more time!
Like I said earlier, this also saves me a lot of pain and gives me a lot more options as I'm converting from scroll format to print format!
panels that look like this in scroll format...
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can look like this in print!
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because I drew the background like this, so I didn't need to go through the additional effort to add in the extra detail to expand it outwards at all.
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Anyways, I hope this helps someone! As always if it doesn't help, just go ahead and disregard. This is what I do and what works for me, and I feel like I only ever see time-saving tips for comics that involve 3d models and workflows, which don't work for me at all! I know there's more people like me out there, so this is for you!
Enjoy!
Also obligatory "my webcomic" if you want to see this in action or check it out!
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wrioluvr · 10 hours
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subby vampire x dom male reader pt 2 pt 1
thank u guys for liking kliff!! he's so baby. felt kinda mean and thought about a scenario where reader is like, a regular monster fucker and poor kliff finds out he hooked up with another vampire and gets super jealous teehee... but this is wholesome tho.
content: reader is kind of a player, blowjob (reader receiving), reader loves tormenting the poor old man, more plot-focused than pure smut
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★ ; 🦇🍷. . ♱
after visiting kliff at his crumbling manor a few more times, you decided that you were getting tired of making the trip out into the woods everytime, and invited him over to your house instead, an invitation he eagerly accepted. though he kept a calm composure, inwardly, his thoughts were running wild - he would finally be able to bask in a whole home full of your scent.... maybe even steal a few small trinkets he could toy with whenever he felt lonely... or... or even get a feel of your bed, where he fantasised about waking up next to you and spending the rest of his days as your faithful househusband. oh, how delightful.
"thank you ever so much for allowing me to enter your abode. i am most honoured." thanking you profusely, he elegantly sat down on your sofa, only to immediately scrunch up his face in discomfort. you stared at him, puzzled. "what's wrong? you don't like my home?"
"no, no... it's not that... it's just that... this scent is so familiar. in an unnverving way..." he mumbled, talking to himself. suddenly, a look of recognition, mixed with horror, dawned on his face. "correct me if i'm wrong, but... there's not a chance you've had another vampire over.... is there?"
"oh! i forgot you vampires have a heightened sense of smell. yeah, i hooked up with another vampire like, 3 weeks ago." you said nonchantly, like it was the most insignificant thing ever. kliff merely gaped at you, aghast at your casualness. "so... so... i'm not your first vampire relationship?" he asked meekly, almost like he was afraid of the answer.
"well, yes. i dated, hmm...." you start to list them on your fingers. "two vampires, one werewolf, one merman... oh, right, and one evil ass fairy. he was mean."
poor kliff looked like he was about to collapse, his hand clutching his chest dramatically. thankfully he was sitting down, otherwise he would have fallen over. "where on earth do you even find these creatures?"
"i get around."
"and you never thought to mention this?!"
"i mean, i didn't really think it was important..."
kliff sighed, suddenly feeling a little insecure at his complete lack of romantic experience in contrast to your many flings. "may i at least see what your past vampire suitors looked like?" he didn't want to admit it, but he was suddenly feeling very clingy, even more than usual. he had to be better than all your exes! so that you wouldn't leave him like you left them!
"sure. here you go." you pull out your phone and show him a picture, only for kliff to gasp loudly and clutch his chest even tighter. what a drama queen.
"HIM."
"you know him??"
"that little whore was going around sleeping with every man and woman in town a hundred years ago! i cannot BELIEVE he is still so promiscuous in this day and age. he even seduced you..."
"woah! language, kliff!"
kliff stops mid-ramble and clears his throat in embarassment. "my apologies. this is most uncouth of me. i do not know why i am getting so frustrated over this. the two of you are not seeing each other anymore, correct?"
"yes. you're the only one i'm seeing right now."
"and, if i may be so bold to inquire,,,, how was he like as a lover?"
"he was kinda annoying." kilff let a smirk escape his lips upon hearing this. "i knew it-" "the head was good though."
"what- what does 'head' mean?"
"he sucked my dick." you say bluntly.
"oh, good heavens."
"don't be a prude! wait... kliff, are you jealous of him?"
"i most certainly am not."
"at your big age? please be serious." you tease, amused at how possessive he suddenly got.
"do NOT make fun of me. i said i'm not." the pout adorning his face said otherwise.
kliff barely noticed it, but slowly he inched closer and closer to you, eyes scanning your neck as he frantically searched for bite marks.
"did he bite you anywhere? did it hurt? you must know, i would never even consider drinking from you, right?" he took your hand, eyes searching desperately for validation, any form of praise that indicated you thought he was the better vampire.
you rolled your eyes. "jeez, kliff. i didn't take you for the possessive type. don't worry, none of my previous vampire lovers have drunk from me."
that did little to reassure him, since he was on the same page. "then... then... i must be better at this 'head' thing!" he declares, face full of misplaced determination. you almost double over laughing.
"it's not a competition! my god, you're so unserious."
"it does not matter to me! i must be better than that lustful shame of a vampire at every aspect. especially since we are of the same species."
"okay, okay. calm down. i'll let you try."
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
"just let me know you can't breathe or whatever. i'll guide you through your first time, yeah?" kliff nods, a blush extremely prominent on his undead features as he knelt between your thighs. he quite enjoyed this... submissive position.
"also- watch the fangs." the authoritative, yet gentle tone of your voice sent shivers down his spine.
he himself could be considered a monster, but he paled in comparison to the monster that sprung out of your pants once he clumsily undid the zipper. kliff gasped, a look of pure lust and nervousness written all over his expression as your slightly erect cock hovered over his face.
"so... basically... you just put it inside your mouth, then start sucking it. easy enough, right? come on, don't tell me you've never heard of a blowjob in your entire existence."
"of course i have..... i admit, i own quite a bit of... erotic fiction." he mumbles, eyes still on your cock, cheeks growing redder by the second. "but, goodness, it's so different seeing a real phallus up close. especially one of your size."
"phallus??? just say cock."
"mhm...." he hesitates, unsure where to even begin. flustered, he looks up imploringly, silently begging for you to guide him.
you chuckle at his frozen state, completely at a loss on what to do. "so needy. i'll help you."
tenderly, you run a hand through his soft hair, applying just a little bit of power to tug his head forward, guiding him to your tip. obediently, he opened his mouth, taking the shaft inside. it was warm, his rough tongue grazing over your tip, causing you to grip his hair a little tighter. kliff let out a masochistic moan in response. slowly, he ventured further down your length, but unable to reach the base without gagging. he looked up at you with apologetic eyes, but you squeezed his shoulder to let him know he was doing well. "good job, kliff. you're a natural." spurred on by your praise, kliff found a lewd rhythm, mouth bobbing up and down in a continuous passionate attempt to make you feel good.
your small grunts of pleasure kept him going. panting, you ask, "you sure you've never done this before, kliff? you're so good." he frantically shakes his head, mouth still full of cock, as if the idea that he engaged in such intimate acts with anyone but you was horrifying. he was loyal like that. it was intoxicating, the head only vampires could provide - fangs lightly grazing your cock's sensitive areas, the slight thrill unmatched. merman head was sloppy, werewolf head was rough, but vampire head was a little dangerous. you liked that.
soon enough, you were about to cum. you warned him, patting his shoulder twice, he vigorously nodded, giving you permission to cum inside his mouth. he'd only ever been used to having blood in his mouth, so having your cum inside instead was a new experience. but he liked it. maybe a little too much, as he swallowed it so enthusiastically. you gazed upon him affectionately, finding his virgin excitement over such lewd matters endearing.
"how was i?" the breathless question hung in the air, a reminder of the atmosphere thick with your intertwined tension.
cupping his face with one hand, the other stroking his hair soothingly, you muttered the words he most wanted to hear. "you were better than him."
kliff jumps into your arms, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. "thank you. you're the absolute best." he's so content to spend the rest of his days with you. treat him with care, yeah?
>ᵥᵥ< 💘
tags: @4eaever @szapizzapanda @flyingsquids @vampmasc
omg i'm so happy with this one, one of my fav writings i've ever done so far. i felt like i characterised kliff and captured their dynamic quite well here hehehe
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chriss-slut · 2 days
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Pls pls write a one shot abt this. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeVwJ6f4/
Begging
Significant Other
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~ Chris Sturniolo x fem!reader ~
Synopsis: basically, inspired on this tiktok.
Warnings: none, just fluff and making out <3
A/N: It's a little short and i don't think it ended well but i tried :) and thank u for the requestt!!
Me and Chris date for about 6/7 months now. We're really affectionate with each other, and when i say really, i mean really. PDA is literally our thing, always holding hands, always glued to each other or even kissing while we're inside or outside. We really don't care about what other people think and if we could, we probably would even hook up in public, yeah...
Anyways... I'm now at the triplets house, I've been here for a week now, and we're kinda having a party. Almost all of the triplets' friends are here. Some of them in the livingroom part chatting and others in the kitchen, eating and chatting as well.
I'm with Chris sitting on the couch, well, I'm sitting on his lap to be more specific.
Everyone is chatting among them while me and Chris are just listening to them. Chris speaks too but not as much as the others. i keep silent cuz i don't know about what they're talking. I've been looking at Chris this whole time. Even though I'm on his lap, we didn't cuddle much today and yesterday so I'm needy for love.
"What's up, babe?" Chris whispers at me as he catches me staring at him, while his friends are talking in the background.
I shake my head quickly, getting out of transe "Uh.. nothing! Sorry!" I say, trying to brush it off, and i look at the group of people talking.
Chris frowns at me, not buying it. "No. You've been staring at me for too long. What's happening?"
I sigh, Chris knows me too well. "Alriight... i miss you, that's just it!"
"Miss me? I'm literally under you!" Chris speaks softly, chuckling softly.
"Not like thaat! I miss being with you, cuddling with you, kissing you... those kind of stuff!" i whisper at him.
Chris smirks at me and leans in to kiss my neck softly "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've gave you what you wanted!" he speaks softly against my neck.
I shiver softly "I dunno... I didn't want to bother you, I guess." I whisper softly, my hand massaging his scalp.
"You'll never bother me if you want love..." He mumbles softly against my neck. Chris starts nibbling and sucking on my sweet spot in my neck, making me moan lowly and shift my position in his lap, so I'm hugging him completely.
Chris smirks again and run his kisses up to my face, kissing my cheeks, nose and lips. When he gets to my mouth, i can't help but deepen the kiss.
Chris returns the deep kiss and we start making out in the middle of a huge group of people, his hands now cupping my ass and my arms around his neck.
All of the voices in the background fade and the only thing we can hear is our muffled soft moans and the sloppy noises of our tongues and lips against each other.
After a while, our session is cut off by a voice.
"Chris!!! Stop almost eating Y/N and get your ass here!" Nick yells for the - god knows how many - time from the kitchen.
Chris pulls away from me and growls annoyed. "What?!?" He yells at Nick.
"Chris, I've been calling for you for 10 minutes! Are you deaf??" Nick yells back.
Chris rolls his eyes "And are you blind? Can't you see I'm busy??"
Nick rolls his eyes as well "You're busy making out? Did you know you can do it at any time of the day without being in the middle of a party??"
Chris sighs "Jesus Christ..." He taps my ass, indicating for me to get off him.
I stand up and sit on the spot we were as Chris stands up as well and goes over the kitchen.
I take a deep breath and wipe my mouth, cleaning the saliva that was around my lips. I stay zoned out, thinking about our make out.
"Hey, baby, I'm back!" I get cut off my transe hearing Chris speaking to me while standing right in front of me. i look up at him and smile. I move to the side, giving him space for him to sit down next to me.
"What did Nick want?" I speak softly, leaning against Chris.
Chris wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me to his chest. "Just a random annoying shit... Don't worry about it, I'm here now" he says sweetly at me, smiling.
i smile back at him "okay, then..." i lean to peck his lips "i love you, you know that?"
"i love you too, baby" i speaks softly, leaning to kiss me again, this time, more intensively.
I hope you liked it!! Pls tell me what you think in the comments, i'd appreciate it :) xoxo <3
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barcaatthemoon · 4 hours
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Can you do Alexia for “It’s… different. With them, I spent most of my time longing for something that wasn’t even accessible. With you, I simply feel alive.”
I love your little blurbs❤️ They’re how I reward myself for completing tasks at work!
thank you, i've honestly had a lot of fun writing them. it's nice to have something small to get the fic momentum going.
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different || alexia putellas x reader ||
it was the simplest things that always caused your feelings to hit you like a truck. alexia hadn't so much as looked your way once she had started to kick the ball around with the children. you knew how important it was for her to bring something worthy back to her hometown. she wanted to make things better and help in every way she could think to.
"i don't think i have ever been so proud of her," eli said, breaking your focus on alexia. you nodded in agreement. this meant the world to alexia. "i know that you do not feel like it, but i am proud of you too. you helped her more than you know, mija."
you had never been good at taking praise, and now was no different. your cheeks heated up with a mix of embarrassment and shame. truthfully, you didn't feel like you had done anything for alexia. this was all her, you had just been her girlfriend for the most part.
"gracias eli." you bowed your head towards alexia's mother.
"i mean it, talk to her. have the big conversations that you are afraid of, nothing bad can come of it. your love is special." it was hard, but you did take eli's advice that night. alexia had brought you back to her childhood home for the night, even if her bed was far too cramped for the two of you to get comfortable.
"you did good today, ale. everybody is so proud of you for this, it's going to be amazing," you told her. alexia smiled as she turned just enough to stare at you in the light coming from her tv. "i wish that i could do something special to help people. sometimes i feel like nothing. i mean, you've had a pretty impressive string of girlfriends."
"you are nothing like any of them, you're different."
"ale, that's not exactly comforting," you chuckled. you knew that alexia didn't mean it like that, so you couldn't help tease her.
"it's... different. with them, i spent most of my time longing for something that wasn't accessible. i didn't know what it was until you came alone. with you, i simply feel alive. all of this, i did it because i felt like i could with you supporting me. don't ever feel like nothing because to me, you are everything mi amor." alexia cupped your cheeks and leaned in to kiss your forehead. you scrunched your face up a bit, only to relax it again after alexia gave you a proper kiss. "now, let's get some rest. i promised the girls i would come to the park bright and early for a pick up game."
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— What if I'm not good enough, anymore?
pairings: beth mead x reader, vivianne miedema x reader
summary: reader has self doubts that she won't be as good as she was when she makes her return to the pitch.
Warnings: heavy angst, talks of mental health and a minor eating disorder.
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Okay, I won't lie. This was, well this was hard to write and there was a lot of tears throughout because its' a little too close to home right now with things going on, but you guys wanted it, so here we go.
Let me know what you think!
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"What if I'm not good enough now?" The thoughts spiral through your brain.
It's your number one fear. It's the thing that keeps you up at night, lying awake with those thoughts plaguing your mnd.
You know you shouldn't be thinking about things like that, but your mentality of your injury was overshadowing the physical rehab your still yet to get the greenlight for yet.
Would you be good as you were when you come back?
Sure you've watched each of the girls come back from their injury and make a return to the pitch, some of them a bit more rockier than usual, but now they're striving and you can only hope that your own journey will be as smooth sailing.
Your impatient though, both incredibly and insufferably impatient.
It's a downfall that has come back to bite you in the ass, one too many times previously.
Could you blame your dad for that though?
Growing up, hes' only ever pushed you. Pushed you to push through the pain; Your dad was an impatient man himself, one with a temper and he didn't believe that letting you rest was the best thing sometimes.
The first few months of your recovery after your surgery felt long, all you felt was agitation and more so frustration not being allowed to do things that you once took for granted.
You really did hate depending on those around you, you felt like a constant burden despite that fact that all the girls kept on reassuring you that you weren't, but in the back of your mind, you always thought different about it.
The one thing you never realised would be as hard would be the mentality of it all, the physical pain was tiresome and therefor, your mental health was taking a battering rapadly.
"You okay, kid?" The familiar voice of your team mum speaks up to get your attention.
Your too wrapped up in your thoughts to barely even hear her, "M' fine,"
"You sure? You seem quiet-- What is it, does your knee hurt? Do you want another pillow?" Beth tries to offer her help, assisting you with whatever you need.
"I'm fine, Beth!" You shout loudly.
You hadn't meant to snap at Beth of course, but your emotions got the better of you and your temper has always been your worst enemy, amongst other things.
"O... Okay," Beth is taken back by your sudden burst of anger. "Well, you know I'm just through the kitchen if you need me, okay?" She reassures you.
"Mhm," You barely acknowledge her precense, choosing to stare blankly at old episode of Bones you'd put on to try and disract your mind.
You wanted to retreat to your bedroom, but after the last time where you remembered the staged intervention with a certain blonde english skipper, you thought against the idea of that.
So for now, you'll just sit on the sofa, wallowing in self-pity and get attached to fictional characters whos' deathes are inevitable.
"Have you noticed that Y/N is uh..." Beth whispers, hesistant for you to overhear her from the other room.
"Distant?" Viv guesses straight away.
The blonde furrows her eyebrows and nods in slow motion, "Well, yes, uh and a bit snippy as well. Should we talk to her?" She wonders, trying to figure out the best approach to talk to you.
"It's probably a good idea--" Vivs' agreement is cut off.
"You know I can hear you guys, right?" You make your voice known, of course you knew they would be whispering about you.
After all, your not a complete moron to not hear it.
"Y/N," Viv begins to speak.
"I don't like it when you talk about me like that!" You uneasily stand up on your feet, going to move towards the direction of your bedroom for a bit of peace and quiet.
"At least use your crutches!" Beth shouts aloud, gesturing to the item that is currently the bane of your life.
"Bite me!" You respond, scowling at them as you shuffle slowly past, trying to withhold from wincing at the sudden shooting pain in your knee.
At least you do a good job to hold your tears back until your in the confindments of your own bedroom, comforted with the blanket that you can wrap around you and try to block out the rest of the world.
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As soon as you got the go-ahead from the doctors to start your rehab at the training grounds, you were virtually jumping for joy.
At least you was on the outside; Inside on your head, it was a completely different story. You were battling your own inner feelings of doubt.
Of course from the minute you'd been allowed back in the gym, every single of your team mates were more than supportive of this step forward in your recovery.
They all knew you'd been finding it difficult, and sure enough most of them had even got the brunt of your anger.
Starting out with your rehab process, you had to start with light excercises but in your head that didn't feel good enough.
You want to be out there on the pitch already, you hate the fact that the healing process is taking so long.
You didn't feel it was fair at all, why won't your stupid knee just heal already?
"You've got this, Y/N!" One of the pyshios' encourage you to keep going with the current training excercise, something so simple felt so hard to you now.
Viv smiles encouringly as she cheers you on from the sidelines, "You're doing great kid." She states.
"Keep pushing!" Leahs' right there beside her, her voice gentle but still managed to hold a firm tone in a way to keep you going.
"You can do this, kid!" Beth chimes in, trying to keep her own tears of happiness at bay as she watches your journey to recovery step that step forward. "We're so proud of you!"
Tears of frustration were visable, even the simplest of tasks felt so gruelling; There were even times whether you questioned if you wanted to hang your football boots up, but that was an easy way out.
Football is your life and its your passion, you'd be gutted to do that.
You had to push forward, you had to do better. You had to be better!
If only it was that simlpe, right?
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Nobody warned you off the setbacks in the journey. You had to figure that one out yourself, even the slighest knock and it was a step backwards.
It always seems to be one step forward, two steps back.
You shouldn't have pushed yourself, you should have known better, but of course, your stubborn streak let you down.
In your own opinion, your recovery wasn't going as quick as you wanted it to. So you took it upon yourself to train extra hard in the gym, sure it was difficult under the watchful eye of the older girls' as they wanted to make sure to not let you overdo it, but you had your ways.
Making excuses and staying late at the training grounds once the team had all gone, pushing yourself to the extreme - Unaware of just how much damage you'd be putting yourself through.
Damn stupid knee injuries.
It works to keep your extra training sessions a secret, at least for a while, until one night when your caught red handed, by no other person that the stern blonde English skipper, so just so happens to have come back to pick something up that she'd forgotten.
"Y/N?" You recognise that all too familiar voice all too well, having been on the recieving end of a few lectures.
You freeze in your spot on the treadmill, which isn't very safe in itself, "Shit-- It's not what it looks like!" Your quick to protest.
"Oh? So your not overworking yourself in the gym then, hm?" Leah quirks, raising an eyebrow.
"No, well, uh yeah. I guess?" You stutter your words, knowing you've definitely been caught out now.
Leah can't help but chuckle amusedly, "You guess?"
"I, uh... Look I know it looks bad, but I needed to do this, Le." If you've been caught out then you're at least going to try and fight your reasoning for it, even if she doesn't believe you.
Judging my her facial expression, the blonde definitely isn't fooled.
"Come on. Lets' go, baby England," Leah motions you to follow her, holding out her hand for you to take.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you shut the whirring treadmill off and gingerly look at her, "Why-- Where are we goin'?" You ask.
"Well first I'm taking you for something to eat and then I'm taking you home, its' already been a long day," Your English Captains' quick to tell you, although before you have chance to protest, she continues to speak. "And you shouldn't be pushing yourself anymore than you already are, alright?" She states.
"But..." You still try and protest against the idea.
"No buts, I know you haven't eaten much, buddy," Leahs' firm voice interjects, still continuing to hold her hand out for you to take. "Come on. Grab your stuff and lets' go,"
You should have known it would only be a matter of time before you were caught out.
How could you be so careless, though?
You didn't think you not eating enough would be that noticeable, but apparently not.
Begrudingly, you step off the treadmill and clutch onto her hand to steady your uneasiness coming off it, "Are you going to tell Beth and Viv about this?" You ask, cautiously.
"I have to," Leah replies in agreement.
"Why?" You fight the urge to whine, even if makes sense for them to know, you wish they didn't have too.
"You can't push yourself, kiddo. You know how serious this injury is!" Leahs' firm voice makes a return, not missing the chance to make it known how much of a bad decision this was for you to make.
You know it looks bad, you do but yet you still couldn't help yourself.
You wanted to get better. You wanted-- No, you needed to do better.
"But I'm so fed up, Le," You grumble, walking in the direction of the changing room to grab your stuff. "Why... Why won't it just fuckin' heal already?" You don't mean to swear, you've never been one to use colourful language, but your frustration is at it's brink right now.
"Whoa, easy on the language there, buddy," Leah jokes, chuckling as she wraps her free arm around your shoulder. "Listen, I know your frustrated, but its' going to take time and you know this. You can't rush it, or you'll make it worse!" She states, firmly.
"Stupid knees' injuries suck," You murmer, gathering your stuff together before you make the exit from the training grounds.
Leah chuckles as she unlocks her car, gesturing for you to climb in the passenger seat, "Yep, yes they do," She agrees with you.
"I just want to be out there on the pitch already," You admit, slumping down into the seat once you have buckled yourself in.
The blonde smiles sympathetically at you, understanding your frustration, "That day will come, but for now, you've just gotta trust the process and let your body heal," She pauses before she continues. "I know you don't like it and all, but you have to just be patient this once, buddy."
"Even if it takes forever?" You resist the urge to groan and throw your head back.
"Even then, because it'll be worth it when you make your return to the game," Leah promises you with a gentle tone of voice.
"Yeah, but, what if..." Your sidetracked from what you are going to say, trying to not spiral into your dark thoughts once again.
"What if?" Leah furrows her eyebrow.
You swallow the lump that forms in your throat, "What... What if I'm not as good as I was before I got injured?" You confess the fear that's been plaguing your mind for god-knows how long.
Leah looks at you concerned, "You don't know how its' gonna be, but what I do know is that whatever happens, we're all behind you," She promises you as she gives you a kind smile and gently squeezes your good knee. "The day you eventually do return to the pitch, you're damn sure we'll all be there cheering as loud as we can," She promises you.
"Even if you're on the pitch as well?" You can't help but giggle.
Leah proudly nods in agreement as she grins, "Hey, I'll personally stop the game just to welcome you on the pitch, baby England." The blonde winks playfully at you from where she sits in the car.
"Your silly sometimes, Le," You mumble, finding it hard to take the blonde serious in this very moment.
"I know you're all up in your head about this, but it's going to be okay," Leah words stick firm in your brain as you smile. "Your not alone in this journey, you're never alone. We've got you." 
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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atlasmoonglade · 11 hours
Text
University AU Enemies to lovers
Joost Klein x fem!reader
Warnings: swearing, PiV (protected), 18+ only
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It's a Friday evening, soft music is playing through the speakers on Max's desk, mixing in with the chatter of your friends. Everyone is sitting in different spaces around the room, some on the desk, some on Max's bed, you and Olivia rest on Max's roommate’s bed. Red solo cups of beer are scattered amongst the room. It was calm and then the door swung open.
"Yooo!!" The entering voice rang, instantly earning a happy response from Max, who hops off his bed and heads towards the entrance.
“Joost!” Max exclaims, arms open wide to embrace his friend. “Where the hell you been, man?”
"Consider my good time ruined" you mutter.
"Be nice" Olivia pats your knee.
"I am always nice. It's him who always starts shit. That di-"
"Hey, Y/N" Joost greets, taking a seat on the opposite bed. "Hey, Olivia."
"Hey, Joost" Olivia smiles. When you don't say anything, she nudges her elbow into your side.
You roll your eyes. "Hi, Joost"
"C'mon, that's all I get?" he teases. "What's wrong? You tired?"
"You have no idea" you say, finally looking at him. He is wearing a green long sleeve polo shirt and a hat, his blond messy hair sticking out the front it.
"Aw, is it past your bed time?"
"And the day is just starting for you? Let me guess, you just rolled out of bed."
"Oh, God" someone says "Here they go again."
"Max invited me here. I am more fun than someone who sits with a sour face all the time."
"Why are you talking to me? Don't you have anything better to do?"
"You know" Max says. "if you two just - I'm gonna say it - fucked one good time. You would get over this rivalry already."
Your jaw drops, you look at Olivia, who just shrugs.
"Don't ever say that again, Max. Ew" you say disgusted at the thought.
"Ew?" Joost says offended. "You would be lucky if I even considered it."
Your jaw drops even lower. "You arrogant asshole" you sit down straight. "And this is who you all want around?"
"Stop it you two." someone says.
You can't see yourself ever getting along with him. This "rivalry" as your friends call it has started a long time ago. During the first week of introductions, he asked you to speak louder, which completely messed up your track of thought and earned some laughs from the auditory. So, after the first homework tasks, you called his presentation uninspiring and poorly structured. He took the last internship place, which he knew you wanted. So, you assigned to write the final paper with the professor, he was planning to ask. You showed his old embarrassing Youtube videos to a girl he wanted to ask out, which lead to her blocking his number. So, he fucked your roommate, while you were still in the room. He calls you short tack, princess, anything but your name, making fun of the fact that he is taller than you. List of insults you call him is too long.
"I'm gonna head out" you stand up to leave.
"I'll come with you" Olivia left with you.
You take your favorite seat in the auditorium, noise of chatting students around you as you take out your laptop. The professor walks in, prepared to start the lecture. The room falling into gradual silence, as the door opens and Joost walks in. You watch him take his place further up, he notices you looking and flips of you off. You mock him and flip him off back.
At the end of the lecture professor announces "As you all know the final paper consists of a group presentation. I took liberty and divided you into pairs. I will also email you the list." he pulls up the list on the projector screen. You search for your name. As soon you see it, the color drains from your face.
No. No, this must be a mistake.
A groan is heard from the back of the auditorium. "Professor, I am not working with her." Joost says annoyance clear in his voice. "Switch me to be with someone else."
You are sat in disbelief that you got assigned to write the final paper with Joost.
"This is a final list." Professor looks at the whole class. "Drop this attitude and act like grownups."
As the lecture ends, you hurry to the professors desk. "Sir, this is not going to work. He is going to sabotage my results. Can I just switch with someone?" you look at him with pleading eyes. "Anyone else."
"I assigned pairs randomly, so everyone has equal chances. You have to learn to work with everyone." he says. "This is final."
Joost rushes past us towards the exit. You roll your eyes. This can't be happening.
You meet with Olivia and tell her everything. She laughs in shock at first, but then insists you'll be fine, that you are adults and both want this done one way or another. You knew it’d be a miracle if Joost and you made it through 15 minutes of working on something together. 
You and Joost still haven't talked about it, as if pushing it to the last minute would solve the problem. It is halloween night, you are getting ready for the party, your costume is inspired by Britney Spears in her music video Baby one more time. You finish braiding your hair into two braids, fix your skirt, wait for Olivia and you head out to the party.
Loud music, neon lights, you already had a couple of drinks, feeling a nice buzz. Someone from the group of your friends suggests to play Spin the bottle.
"Hell yeah, let's do it." Max puts his hand around you. "C'mon grumps, you joining us?"
You push his hand away. "I am" you make kissing face at him. "Always dreamt of kissing you" your voice full of sarcasm. You and Max burst out laughing.
Your usual group of friends and a few people you met at the party find space in the house to set up the game, music still loud around you. Olivia brings the bottle, as you are all sitting in a circle, ready to start.
"Is there still space for me?" a voice behind you asks. You turn around to see Joost, his face painted to resemble a skull, he is wearing a black suit, which doesn't properly fit him and a red tie.
"Sure, man! We've been looking for you." Max makes room for Joost to sit next to him, opposite of you.
"I was a little busy with this girl I met." he says as he sits down. "Glad I found you guys just in time." his eyes find yours and he smirks.
"We are so lucky" you say contemplating if you should just leave. Olivia looks at you shaking her head as if trying to tell you "don't start it again", you roll your eyes.
For the past 15 minutes there was a lot of cheering as people kiss. Some give just a little peck, others fully commit, tongue and all. Max is currently making out with a girl from an acting class. Her hands are in his hair as they deepen the kiss.
"Okay okay. I am afraid you will start fucking soon." someone says. "I am not drunk enough to see that."
Everyone laughs and they pull apart, going back to their places.
It is your turn to spin the bottle, you down your drink and reach for the bottle. You give it a good spin, watching it, already knowing you will just give a little peck to whoever it lands on. The bottle slows and comes to a stop. You follow the neck of the bottle, it points to Joost. Everyone erupts into loud cheering and whistling.
"Finally!" someone says.
You look at Joost. Universe must be punishing you for something.
"Bring it on, princess." he messes up his hair. "Hope it's not gonna be your first kiss." he licks his lips.
"Pass." you say with a smile and cross your arms against your chess.
"No, that's not how this works" Max chimes in. "No skipping your turn."
You groan and look at the ceiling hoping you can just die on the spot.
Joost stands up and offers you his hand. "We will go somewhere private. Won't give you all a show. It is her first time, has to be special."
"Oh, shut up" you say. "Let's just move on, everyone"
"Just trust me." he kneels down next to you. "Can you do that for once?" he says looking into your eyes.
You stand up without his help and head towards the first room you see, you can hear his footsteps behind you.
You walk in and close the door behind you as he walks towards the window.
"I am not kissing you." you say.
"I wasn't planning on that" he replies and opens the window, he takes out a pack for cigarettes from his pocket, puts one in between his lips and reaches for a lighter.
"You should quit that." you point at the cigarette in between his fingers.
He chuckles and takes a drag of a cigarette as we stand in silence.
"About that presentation.. " you start.
"I emailed the head of the department asking to let us switch partners." he looks down at his shoes. "He said no"
You look at him with your eyes wide.
"You would hate to work with me that much?" you ask shocked he went that far.
"I was doing it for the both of us. You know it would be a disaster. But since we are stuck together, promise me you won't fuck this up for us." he lifts his head up to look at me.
All of your anger returns. You can't believe you were about to offer him to put our differences behind you.
"Fuck you, Joost. Why do you think I would be the one to fuck this up? You are the unreliable one. Always gone somewhere doing fuckall with whoever." your hands ball into fists. "Fuck you" you say again and storm out of the room.
You leave the party without saying bye to anyone, you just need to go back to your room to calm down.
The street you walk back to the dorm is silent, lit up only by sporadic streetlights. It's late enough that everyone is already asleep or partying. Your head clears from the alcohol. You are deep in your thoughts, and suddenly you hear fast approaching footsteps behind me. You don't have enough time to realise what is happening, you feel a heavy hand on your shoulder. A flight or fight response kicks in and you scream, turn around and throw a punch, not risking waisting time to think about it.
Your fist connects with something.
"Ouch. You fucking bitch" you open your eyes to see Joost holding his cheek. It's not until you smell a familiar scent, cigarettes with cologne, your panic subsides a little. You think of how stupid your argument over the presentation was. The fear of being robbed or worse, has made you realise that Joost is not the enemy and never has been. Your hands start to shake and you burst into tears.
And then you hug him, your arms tight around his middle, he tenses but then wraps an arm around you, feeling you tremble.
"Hey, hey" his voice getting soft. "What's wrong with you" his other hand is still holding his cheek.
"I thought you were a murderer." you let go of him, still shaking.
"I called your name, you didn't hear?"
"No" you say "What are you doing here anyway?"
"No one knew where you disappeared to. I went looking for you." he says letting go of his cheek. The paint of a skull on his face has rubbed off from sweat throughout the night and you can see hints of red from where you hit. You start to feel sorry and embarrassed that you reacted that way. You reach out to him, but drop your hand before it reaches to touch his cheek.
"Let's not tell anyone about this." he suggests. "We can't give them the satisfaction of knowing you hit me"
It draws a laugh out of you and it makes him grin.
"It's the least I can do. I really am sorry, Joost."
"You are nuts for reacting like this...but I really didn't mean to scare you." he says. "Let me walk you home."
You walk together in silence.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier at the party." he says suddenly. "I realise I was kind of an asshole"
"Kind of?"
"Ok, yeah, I overreacted. I guess what i'm trying to say is.. Let's just do that presentation and not kill each other. I already felt your knuckles on my face, don't want that again"
You look at him, seeing the red mark again. "My room. 7pm tomorrow. Let's at least start it"
Olivia left to go to a friend’s place, you changed into comfortable pants and a cropped sweater. You sit at your desk, and wait. You’d told Joost to come at 7. 
There is a knock at 7:14.
"Come in" you say slight annoyance in your voice.
"I'm sorry, short stack"
"I was starting to think you weren't gonna come" you turn in your chair to face him.
"I'm here now" he says taking a seat next to you, smell of cigarettes filling the space.
"I started writing a rough plan." you show him what you wrote on your laptop.
After 30 minutes of you two working out an agenda for the presentation, Joost leans back on his chair. "Wow"
It makes you look at him. "What?"
"Look at us. Not arguing"
"It's only been like half an hour" you look at your watch. "The night is young"
Maybe he has brain damage from the punch, but he can’t lie to himself, that night after the party shifted things. Seeing you so terrified caused a change in him. Feeling your arms around him, clinging to him and trembling so hard, softened him towards you.
He catches himself thinking you look so good all wrapped up in your shared work. He hooks his foot around the leg of your chair and pushes you closer to him.
"What are you doing?" you push yourself back.
"Why are you so far away from me?"
"I am not. I am an appropriate distance from you." you look at him as if he is crazy.
He pushes you closer again and leans in. He acts on an instinct, closes the distance between you and crashes his lips against yours. You press your hands against his chest and push away.
"What the hell was that?" you ask touching your lips.
He is just as speechless as you are. Speechless, and confused, and out of breath, and so pretty. Has he always been that pretty? 
You grab onto the hem of his shirt and pull him back in, pressing your lips together in an aggressive collision. Joost's hands grip your waist and he urges you to straddle him. Without breaking the kiss you put your legs on each side of his and sit on top of his thighs. He grips your hair and deepens the kiss, earning a moan from you, which makes him push up into your clothed core. You feel him hardening.
Joosts hands slide down to your thighs, he scoops you up in his arms, standing up and lifting you up with him. Your legs are wrapped around his torso, your hands on his shoulders. He supports your weight so easily, all while sliding his tongue into your mouth. He carries you over to the bed, dropping you on top of the mattress. He looks down at you with a grin.
"These fuckers were right." he laughs. "We needed this" he leans back to you, his hands sneaking beneath your sweater, pushing it up until your bra is revealed. He looks into your eyes. "Is this okay?"
"Yes" you moan, "Please".
His pushes your bra down, enough to reveal your chest. His lips wrap around your nipple, wetting it with his tongue and applying light suction. A soft moan left your mouth, and you grip onto his hair. He can't stop himself from smiling. He sucks harder, just to hear you make some noise. Any noise.
You rubbed your thighs together for some relief. Joost noticed this and proceeded to stick his hand down your pants, fingers sliding underneath the band of your underwear. He smirks at how soaked you were already and rubs your clit as he licks a trail up to your neck. You tighten your thighs around his hand, gasping at the friction and pulling at the bedsheets. His cock is pressed against the zipper of his jeans, getting to the point that it was excruciating. So, as he massaged your clit, he undid his pants and pushed them down his legs. 
"Do you want to do this?" he looks at you.
"Yes." you reply with no hesitation. "Condoms are in the drawer."
He gets off the bed, finds the pack of condoms, tears the foil with his teeth, and watches you as he rolls the condom on himself. You’re absolutely gorgeous, better than he could have ever imagined.
"How do you want me, princess?” The nickname finally getting a new meaning.
"However you want it.”
"We are doing acrobatics then"
It startles a laugh out of you, and Joost thinks he might love that—the way he makes you laugh.
He takes off your pants together with the underwear, bends your leg, pushes it away from him, closer to you, which reveals your slick core to him.
“Gotta tell me how you want me, and fucking quick.” he groans, just the view of you makes him do mathematics in his head to stop from cumming on the spot.
"Missionary works me." you prop yourself on your elbows.
So he climbs onto you. He kneels between your legs, then pushes them apart obscenely wide. You stay propped up on your elbows, watching him, but when he settles between your thighs, you fall back against your pillow.
“Good?” he asks.
"You haven’t done much,” you point out. 
"Smart-ass.” He reaches down and grasps his cock at the base, and drags the tip through your folds. He coats himself in your arousal, feels the heat of your pussy even through the latex, then notches himself at your entrance. He looks down and pushes into you. He goes slow but steady, and he hears a small gasp fall from your lips.
He remembers the way you clung to him that night, and he wants to capture that feeling again.
He picks up a steady pace, holding your legs apart, kissing your neck. One of his hands makes its way to your clit again, you arch your back as he starts to draw circles around it.
He feels you clench around him. "Joost. I'm so close" you moan and he watches you come undone beneath him, proud of himself — to the point of cockiness. Giving you a few more forceful pumps, he hides his face in your neck, and releases himself into the condom.
You want to remember this forever. Him panting, moaning in your ear. He taps the side of your thigh, pulls out and throws out the condom. You watch him pull up his jeans and sit down at the desk again.
"Let's do this thing"
You and Joost are sitting next to each other in the cafeteria. Max and Olivia join you.
"Look, both are still alive!" Max jokes.
"How did it go yesterday?" Olivia asks looking between the two of you.
A deep blush spreads across your cheeks.
"Wait." Max looks at you, then at Joost. "Did you two...?"
"No way!" Olivia gasps.
"Ok, shut up guys." Joost says
"You owe me 20 bucks" Max says to Olivia.
"Fuck!" Olivia exclaims
"You bet on us?"
"Last year!" Max takes the money from Olivia.
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melodic-haze · 2 days
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Hmm i just had a thought about the recent fic w Arlecchino
What if she had a muzzle on w bunny suit🧐
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☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader
☆ — TYPE: NSFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Breeding, size kink, reader has a cock/strap referred to as such
☆ — NOTES: I'm ngl it's been several Arle fics now that idk which one you were on ab but it's okay gwenchana. Anyway you lot really want to breed her huh (same though)
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Good luck convincing Arlecchino to wear a bunny suit actually HAHAHA
She'd do anything for you, really she will!!!! She's so dedicated to you—worshipping you in the same way a diety was meant to be worshipped—that it's actually scary for the both of you, how much of a hold you have on her. But she has some reservations about such a risqué bit of clothing 💀
Not like you blame her though, considering how it wasn't usually her style. Lucky for you, however, YOU get special treatment :3 all it takes is one look at the outfit, one look at her and some time and voila!!! She'll concede—hell, she might even surprise you :3
"You're.. you're sure, right? I know you were kinda against it at first—I feel bad if I ended up forcing you into something you-- mm."
A finger was on your lips, the gesture's message quite clear as your beloved spoke amidst your commanded silence, "I'm sure, yes. I admit I am.. apprehensive, but your longing gaze is more than enough to convince me to, ah.. experiment."
"Really..?"
"Yes. You do not take me for my word?"
"No, I do! It's just..." You huffed out a sigh as you gently took the hand on your lip and took it in your own, "I just don't want you to feel as if you were obligated to entertain my every whim."
You see her eyes soften at your concern and she squeezes your hand as a form of reassurance from your often-so-stoic lover, "You should know better than to believe I would ever compromise my own comfort for something like this."
"And besides," she continues, "surprisingly, I've come to enjoy being.. well, your prey of sorts. Perhaps the outfit may elevate the interest to another level, hm?"
You couldn't help but stare at her, boldness practically radiating off of your lover despite the position you both know she truly holds within the privacy of your bedroom walls. Such boldness prompted an imagined flash of images in your mind—blackened hands all tied up, drool escaping her lips within confining barriers, tears escaping as sinful noises of wet skin-to-skin impact echo along with her moans—and you feel something akin to a hot flash within your core.
Ever so observant, her eyes go half-lidded as she looks up at you, her grin a touch sharper than before, "I see that I have awakened your imagination."
"Maybe."
"You need not imagine it, my beloved." Her voice reduces itself to something of a low purr, "All you need to do is command me, and I will do whatever you wish."
"That's a dangerous promise to make."
"Coming from a dangerous woman such as I, I dare say it balances the scales."
I love dialogue lol anyway tell her to do so and she will do it ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ and next thing you know you're facing a woman much shorter than you've always known her to be, clad in such a revealing outfit and a muzzle to prevent her from biting so much. She had 'protested' against the latter at first, but you both know from the way that she so very easily accepted such a thing that she was all for the extra torture, not being able to make a mark on you (she forgets that her nails'll probably do the job for her anyway LMAO)
When she's laid out 'helplessly' on the bed as you tower over her, when you put your hand on the flat of her stomach and the both of you see the clear size difference, when you look at her and see so much anticipation and carnal lust practically glazing her eyes? Oh god the both of you KNOW you're not going out this room for a WHILE
She is COMPLETELY at your mercy—you can toy with her all you want, alternating between overstimulation and edging her with whatever is at your disposal until she can't take it anymore so she has to actually beg you to fuck her dumb and reduce all trains of thought into mush. She considers begging as below her, and yet she can't help but let out these reluctant pleas that only seem to gain a more.......willing quality with them in due time. Just make sure to torture her until her composure snaps, giving her her own sort of medicine and having her experience her very own mindbreak through overwhelming pleasure
To see this woman, who is so utterly feared to the point where crowds would part for her in fear that she would plunge her blackened hands into their chest and staining them red, cling to you and hump your cock like a bitch in heat is such a harrowing contrast.......but there is certainly that feeling of something more
Perhaps it's the fact that there was the urge to pin her down into a mating press and stuff her silly until she gets kids on her own ☺️ seeing her take all these children in at the Hearth and not having any herself.....why, for some reason you found yourself feeling like you just had to give her some children of her own. She seems to adore them, so whyever not ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
Even as dazed-out as she is, she can see something change inside you as your objective goes from fucking her silly to something a lot more feral. Doesn't necessarily help that, yk, you have her in a bunny suit. And yk how bunnies just love to breed
As much as Arlecchino had tried to tell you to slow down for a brief moment, it's as if all noise has been blocked out from your senses, save for the sounds your lover makes and the sinfully wet noises that are produced as you piston into her again and again and again and again.
You roughly pushed her down into the matress, now damp and messy from a mixture of your bodily fluids, as you made sure to bottom out inside her as quickly as you drew back—the harsh assault on her hole had hit spots within her she didn't even realise you could hit, not to mention the force of your movements being more than enough to easily stretch her out and mold her insides to fit you and only you.
It was obvious that there was no way any mercy was going to be given to her. The Harbinger could only lay there and take everything you give her like some kind of fleshlight, the 'fight' within her long gone (if she even had some left in her to begin with).
God I need to separate these bc I can't just choose one thank yew bc both are very very very VERY good
If you had a dick:
You were so utterly determined to fill her and making sure your seed takes by the end of your session. If it meant basting her insides with white-hot cum and having it all stuffed inside her to the point where it has no where to go but out by force, then you'll cum inside her over and over again until you can't anymore.
And when your hand goes to press down on her abdomen, you can see the mixture of cum inside her practically spray out at the edges. She can't take it anymore, even she says so, and yet you can't help but wonder just why is her pussy still milking you as if her life depended on it?
Because she's greedy.
Because right now, no longer was she Arlecchino—she was your very own rabbit, hungry for your potent seed.
If you're using a strap:
You know of your limitations—without anything extra such as magical means, you cannot actually have her bare your children. But whyever would you let that stop you, especially when you had benefits that more than makes up for your lack of organic appendages?
If you had the real thing then you could stuff her silly until it takes (and even beyond that), but one can easily make up for it in other qualities such as size and shape.
And really, whatever's stopping you from filling her to the brim with artificial cum instead?
The world is your oyster, and Peruere was nothing but your very own porcelain fuckdoll at this point.
I need to breed her every which way idc if I don't have a dick, if there's a will there's a way
When she realises what you're trying to do, she can't help that sudden jolt that completely overtakes her—her hips practically shoot from the bed, pushing your cock in even deeper, before you push her back down while she lets out a silent scream. By GOD the fact you want to breed her, fill her, make sure a child of YOURS growing inside her, making a mark beyond just her skin.........oh it gets her going in ways she never would've fathomed before
By the end of your VERY long and productive session, it's VERY clear you've both fucked like rabbits from the mess all over the place and the liquid practically gushing from her abused hole. After everything, you finally take off her muzzle, only for you to lead her drool-coated mouth all the way down to the base of your cock to clean it up. She doesn't even protest either, easily taking it like a good girl and making sure that she does a good job in cleaning you up and finishing you off. All you need to do is plug her up properly, feeling all the cum stuffed inside her through the small pauch of her abdomen, where her womb is 🫶
"..I had known this was a possible outcome, and yet I cannot help but be surprised by your control, or lack thereof."
You groaned, covering your face with your hands as you rolled on your side, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me! You just looked so irresistible and before I knew it I just--"
"Don't take my words as a form of reprimand, darling." You feel her hands take your own from your face, her lips finally kissing them—you—after a long time of having it muzzled, "I enjoyed it. You are already aware of my.. likes and dislikes, especially when it comes to the rougher parts of the activity. I gave you control, and you willingly seized it."
"I guess..."
"And besides," she muses with a small smile on her face, "I am.. not necessarily opposed to the thought of it."
"Of what?"
"Getting bred."
A warm flush spreads through your cheeks as you gave her a light swat, "You! You are so shameless! What happened to being polite and cryptic?!"
"Do we really need such pleasantries by this point? Seeing that you were rather determined to take me all for yourself, after all..."
"Oh my god."
A deep laugh rumbles within her, the sound so rare and precious that you'd want to keep it all to yourself, and you can't help but laugh along with her as you bask in the afterglow. When your laughter settles down, the two of you end up with your legs tangled up together as you lay there in companionable silence.
Though eventually she decides to break it, "Shall I go and run us a bath?"
"You can stand after all that? Geez, seems like I did a bad job," you joked.
Arlecchino huffed out lightly with a smile, "No, you've rendered me utterly near-useless—a feeling that I don't usually enjoy. Yet the fact that I don't seem to mind it all that much should show that you are special to me."
You feel that heat in your cheeks again at the proclamation, "Archons, and when I aim to have you all sappy like that in public you don't even dare move a muscle."
"Time and place, dear. Time and place. Now," she questions again, "shall I run us a bath? We can take care of the mess later."
You nodded, "Mm, if you don't mind then. But can we take it together?"
You see her eyes crinkle, the glow that the red crosses within them softening like a tender flame, "Of course. I shall be back in a few moments, then."
She gets up, and you pride yourself for being the reason why your lover temporarily goes off balance from a sudden tremor in her legs before collecting yourself.. and you can't help but stare at the remaining cum staining the sides of the plug and the apex of her thighs as she walks off.
She doesn't take the plug off when you go and take the bath together. Wonder why 😋
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adirtylittleheart · 3 days
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REMEDY You and Matt are suck in a house full of people during a relentless summer heat wave. With frustrations running high from the heat and lack of sex, you find a way to help and remedy that. Warning: 18+ Smut. Fucking. P in V. Public (but private). MattXfem reader & oc (see below) Notes: Please note that I am putting this up as a READER and an OC. So, the first section will be the READER and the second is OC. I've had so many people ask me to please make it reader and others want it OC. So, I'm going to try and cater to all. I hope this works...if not I'll return to the drawing board and try something else. Maybe post two separate? Let me know what you think - I'll see DM's quicker cause somedays I don't have the time to get on and I have a lot of activity. THANK YOU ALL THOUGH FOR READING. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME.
REMEDY The heat was unbearable. The Sturniolo family went to The Cape for the summer, with girlfriends and significant others tagging along. The house wasn’t huge and some of us had to share sleeping spaces and set-up camp in the living room. We were tight knit and we all got along like a house on fire, so it wasn’t a problem but lack of sleep on the hot, sweltering nights was another story. With severe heatwaves come some complications like; power outages and malfunctioning air conditioners. It was the kind of heat that pressed against one’s skin. Where you wanted to fan yourself down, but all that seemed to do was move the hot air around. The hot, humid breeze did nothing but tease with the promise of relief.
‘’The fucking weather!’’ Matt groaned, ‘’This was supposed to be a great trip for us…for you,’’ he said looking disappointed
‘’Well,’’ I said, and leaned forward then gave him a kiss, ‘’if it’s any conciliation, I’m having a great time.’’
‘’You would in this heat,’’ Matt said through a laugh, ‘’you’re the only one here that will get through this unscathed. You’re the only one here that actually enjoys the heat, which makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with you. How come you’re so perfect and not even the heat will get you?’’
I laughed, ‘’so…I’ve meant to tell you a long time ago, but there was never really a perfect time to do so, but I’m from this little planet called -’’ I was saying when Matt let out a laugh cutting me off
‘’Shut up,’’ he said and pushed his lips to mine. Just a few days ago, I accidentally overheard Matt talking to Nick and Chris and found out a few things that didn’t know, and that had me feeling like I was the luckiest and most blessed person to walk the earth. Mind you, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I sure am glad I stopped in my tracks when I walked past the kitchen and heard my name. They say you never hear anything go about yourself when you eavesdrop but I’m a testament to that being complete bullshit. He had said to them that he knew without a doubt that I was the one he wanted to marry, have kids with, and spend the rest of his life with. That he loved that I loved his family as much as they loved me and that I was always willing to help out… and most of all he loved that I was definitely up for anything. The biggest smile crossed my face when he said he loves how I make everything fun and exciting in his eyes. He also said he loved that I came across as a little saint to everyone else, but I was definitely a little devil when it came to fucking. At that point I walked away – I was happy and it was all I ever needed to hear.
Matt sighed next to me as we lay on the blow-up mattress. The heat really was relentless and stifling. Every time we moved, it felt as if the sheets were clinging to us. A fan was blowing cool air but it was as helpful and equivalent to puckering one’s lips up and blowing air out of them. It was so hot, we were all struggling to sleep. I sensed that Matt was not only frustrated by the heat but also that with so many people in a house sharing, we couldn’t do much in the sex department, though we certainly found ways. Matt and I said that we would sleep in the living room on a blow-up mattress while Chris and his girlfriend shared the couch.
‘’Are you okay?’’ I whispered when Matt once again let out a groan
‘’It’s like we’re in a desert or something,’’ Matt mumbled and sat up. He reached for a glass of water on a nearby side table and made some kind of sound then he looked at me with horror. ‘’The fucking ice has melted in the glass already,’’ he said, his voice laced with disbelief. It concerned me because Matt was generally calm but he was definitely agitated by the heat.
I lay for a moment, staring at the ceiling wondering how I could help him. My eyes swung from one end of the ceiling to the other, then back again. I suddenly sat up, finding the remedy to maybe both the heat and lack of sex problem…even if it was only a short reprieve. I slid off the mattress and then padded to his side, and put my hand out, palms up.
‘’Come on,’’ I whispered
‘’You two might as well just talk, and not whisper,’’ Chris said
‘’Shut up,’’ Matt said loudly through a laugh
‘’Fuck off,’’ Chris replied with a chuckle
‘’Sorry, Chris,’’ I said with a giggle. They never ceased to make me laugh with their friendly banter
‘’Nah (y/n), I mean it’s so hot, we can’t sleep anyway,’’ Chris said, his girlfriend giving a ‘’mhm’’ in agreement.
Matt put his hand in mine and I pulled him up. ‘’Where are we going?’’ he asked, his movements were slower than mine in the heat.
‘’A walk,’’ I said softly as I lead him to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of ice cold water and handed it to Matt as he looked at the time on the microwave, it’s glowing green telling him it was two in the morning. He sighed thinking it was a long way from morning but still the weather on the news had said it would be an equally hot day, if not hotter. I hesitated closing the door because the cool air felt so good on my hot skin. I had on what I can only describe as a t-shirt that I had taken a pair of scissors to. Matt had given me one of his old t-shirts and we cut the sleeves off, along with the neck line, widening it to help with the heat. I really didn’t mind the heat, but this? This was something else. I felt for everyone else because if I was feeling it, they must have been suffering. I closed the door and smiled at Matt, who gave me a weak smile back.
We slipped out the door, quietly into the night, ‘’Should I put a t shirt on?’’ Matt asked
‘’Show me one man who has a shirt on in this weather and I’ll give him a thousand dollars,’’ I said
‘’Does that include me and does it still stand until we get back?’’ Matt asked
I giggled and smacked his tight ass, ‘’always,’’ I replied
‘’Where are we going?’’ Matt asked and slipped his hand into mine. Our fingers intertwined and he lifted our hands and then he gave my hand a kiss. ‘’Thanks for this, it is slightly better out here.’’
I smiled at Matt, ‘’the park,’’ I said simply
The moon was full and illuminated the way for us. It was quiet but for the water lapping to the shore. The roads were dead and the park deserted. People had either passed out from the heat or were sitting in front of fans hoping to cool down. The park was relatively close to the house, but hidden and nestled amongst trees. I led Matt to the swings and Matt sat on one while I sat on the other, right next to him. I started swinging softly while Matt only moved back and forth slightly on the swing, keeping his feet on the ground. He took a sip of water, and offered me some, but I shook my head with a warm smile.
‘’Matt? Remember that park we went to at Evan’s house?’’ I asked and stopped the swing, then got off, ‘’you know, when he had that party?’’
‘’Yeah,’’ Matt said as he put the bottled water on the ground, and then it hit him. His eyes went big and his award-winning smile formed on his face. How could he have forgotten that?
‘’Yeah?’’ I asked and bit my bottom lip seductively
‘’Fuck yes! Hop on,’’ Matt said and I squealed softly with excitement as I grabbed the chains and lifted myself onto Matt’s lap, sliding my legs over his as I sat down, my legs handing over his on their side of the swing. Matt smiled, because the last time we both had fumbled a lot trying to work out how to do it but now we seemed to have mastered it. Well…we were going to find out.
‘’How did I get so lucky?’’ Matt asked me softly
I smiled at him and placed a hand on his cheek and tilted his face up a fraction, ‘’I’m the lucky one,’’ I whispered and lightly brushed my lips against his.
My hand slid down his neck, and his chest, and then my fingers danced above his shorts elastic, as Matt deepened the kiss. It was never pedestrian. His kisses always made me feel desired, and wanted. I got drunk on our kisses. Matt moaned into the kiss and I felt his hands by mine. I knew he was getting impatient so I moved my hand and brought it to my pussy and moved my panties to the side while he pushed his shorts down as much as he could. The small piece of material was wet already and I felt Matt’s cock, now free of his shorts, as hard as a rock, between us. That alone sent every nerve in my body tingling.
His hands found the straps of my shirt and he pushed them down, over my shoulders. I smiled into the kiss and pulled my arms out the straps, letting the material fall softly. Matt broke the kiss, eager to get a nipple into his hungry mouth. I moaned, dropping my head back and arched my back, pushing my titties forward so Matt could take in more. He was a genius with his tongue no matter where it was on my body. I bit my bottom lip and slid my hand between us and closed my hand around Matt’s thick shaft. He was rock solid hard and I smiled wickedly because his pre-cum had run down his shaft, leaving him slick. He sucked in a sharp breath from the touch on his painfully erect dick but it felt so fucking good. I lifted myself, aimed his dick at my little tight entrance, then I slid onto his dick agonizingly slowly, savouring every inch going in. We both groaned loudly with simultaneous pleasure.
‘’Oh god (y/n),’’ Matt moaned, ‘’you have no idea how good that feels.’’
‘’Oh, but I do,’’ I said with a grin and licked my hand of the pre-cum, making Matt swear under his breath. ‘’Start swinging. We don’t want to be caught,’’ I purred.
‘’I’ve been wanting to fuck you all day’’ Matt said curling his hands around the chains,’’this won’t take long.’’
I smiled, as I also curled my hands around the chains, the cool metal making me even more aroused, ‘’me too.''
Matt laughed and pushed back with his legs and then let us fall forward on the swing as he tucked his legs back. He sure was going to have one hell of a workout keeping the swing in motion. I knew without a doubt he could handle it though. We were soon gliding through the air, back and forth. Every time we went back, I would slide down his dick and when we got to the furthest point, having to go back down, I would push down on him as forces of nature worked. We moaned loudly with sheer pleasure every time that happened and Matt groaned feeling himself deep inside of my tight, wet pussy. When we went back down, I was lifted up, his dick sliding halfway out, exposing him to the cooler air, then he would slip back into my hot pussy.. The contrast of heat and cool air in motion sent a pleasant shiver up his spine, never feeling anything like it.
Matt loved everything – the way we had to be so close, the way we molded into each other, the fact that we had to rely upon and trust each other. The tightness around his hard throbbing cock, the way my hair flew out and fanned behind me when we went up, and then around me when we went back down, and…. he loved the look on my face with my breasts firmly in front of him. He wanted to touch them, grab them but he couldn’t. Fuck! It was the most blissful torture ever. The deep penetration on the up was something different than normal penetration. It was a force that could only be achieved in their current position and situation.
Matt could tell I was close as my pussy started fluttering around his cock, my body got tense and I dropped my head.
‘’Ooh, Matt…shit, Matt…’’ I said with urgency as I felt my muscles tightening, the rush coursing through me and pure ecstasy shoot over my body. I let one hand go from the chains and put it around Matt’s shoulders, looking for more purchase. I pushed my face into the side of his neck as my walls clasped around Matt like a vice grip. The sheer strength around him set him on the very edge. My loud screams and moans were muffled as I buried my face into his neck and shoulder. I let go of the chains with my other hand to grip him tighter as Matt brought us to a stop. My fingers dug into his muscles and my body shook against him. Once we were stationary Matt grabbed my ass and lifted me, and then pushed me back down on his cock.
‘’FUCK YES, (y/n),’’ Matt moaned as he felt a splash. The sound of my moans, the feel of my skin, and my smell were so intoxicating to Matt as he slammed me down on him again and let out a growl as he felt his orgasm shoot out from the base of his balls and run through him. I lifted my face and we locked eyes for a second before my eyes went big as I sucked in a breath.
‘’Kiss me,’’ Matt said through clenched teeth knowing I was coming yet again. Matt wanted to scream too, because it was so incredible but he knew he couldn’t as my walls locked around him again. He shot a massive load into me, rope after rope, after rope. After holding it in all day, wanting me all day…it built up. I pushed my lips to his, our tongues immediately meeting. The kiss muffled most of my screams and moans but a few escaped into the quiet night. Neither of us cared at the very moment. Matt’s dick twitched at the last spray into my pussy, and I still lifted and rammed myself down on him two more times before I slumped onto him, breaking the kiss. Matt slid his arms around me and sat like that for five minutes, panting, trying to catch our breath. In the distance, we heard laughter, and Matt slowly slid his hands back down my back as I sat up straight again. He found the straps of my shirt and then pulled them up. I then pushed my arms into them and he let the straps rest on my shoulders. He pulled his still-hard dick out of my warm, wet, overflowing pussy, a low moan escaping him, not wanting to but having to pull out.
Matt looked over my shoulder and I turned my head as we heard low talking in the distance. A couple were walking on the side walk but I knew the couple couldn’t see us, and that we had the vantage point.. Clearly two lovers where out on a walk also trying to escape the heat. They were in the distance, but I could tell they were holding hands and very much into each other. I watched them disappear into a thick of trees and I turned back to Matt.
Matt smiled and gave me a half nod, ‘’they should try the swings,’’ he said and I burst out laughing. I pushed a hand between ourselves and pulled my panties back into place and then grabbed the chains and weakly pulled myself up and climbed off of Matt. As my feet hit the ground, I tried to stand, but my legs buckled and Matt grabbed me to stop me from falling.
‘’I’m fucking spent,’’ I said with laugh
‘’That was…something else. Fucking amazing,’’ Matt said through his own laugh
‘’You’re a mess,’’ I said
‘’So are you,’’ Matt said with a laugh. We were both covered in sweat with our combination of cum and juices sticking to our skin, our hair matted but looking so satisfied and elated.
I looked down and saw some of Matt’ cum running down my leg. I smiled and took my index finger and ran it up the zigzag line it had formed, collecting it. I then lifted my finger to my mouth and licked it off.
Matt smiled, ‘’you're so fucking hot,’’ he said, noting I didn’t do that for him, I did it for myself. I wanted to taste him, savor him.
I let my eyes fall back on Matt as I swallowed and smiled. ‘’I can clean you up,’’ I said
‘’Not this time. You can hardly stand... we’ll take a quick shower when we get home,’’ Matt said and somewhere along the line, Matt had put his dick away and fixed his shorts because he pulled me down onto his lap.
‘’Do you feel better?’’ I asked Matt softly
‘’You have no idea. Thank you, baby. I love you so much,’’ Matt said and gave me a kiss.
‘’Good,’’ I said and ran my fingertips along his stubbly jaw, ‘’I love you too.’’
‘’I’ll piggy back you home,’’ Matt said and smiled to himself because he had the best little vixen saint and I was the remedy he needed. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! You are very much appreciated. <3
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For the OC Version babies! The heat was unbearable. The Sturniolo family went to The Cape for the summer, with girlfriends and significant others tagging along. The house wasn’t huge and some had to share sleeping spaces and a few even set up camp in the living room. They were all tight-knit and everyone got along like a house on fire, so it wasn’t a problem but lack of sleep on the hot, sweltering nights was another story. With severe heatwaves came some complications like; power outages and malfunctioning air conditioners. It was the kind of heat that pressed against one's skin. Where you wanted to fan yourself down but all that did was move the hot air around. The hot, humid breeze did nothing but tease with the promise of relief.
‘’The fucking weather!’’ Matt groaned. This was supposed to be a great trip for us…for you,’’ he said looking disappointed
‘’Well,’’ Eden said and leaned forward to give him a kiss, ‘’if it’s any conciliation, I’m having a great time.’’
‘’You would in this heat,’’ Matt said through a laugh, ‘’you’re the only one here that will get through this unscathed. You’re the only one here that actually enjoys the heat, which makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with you. How come you’re so perfect and not even the heat will get you?’’
Eden laughed, ‘’so…I’ve meant to tell you a long time ago, but there was never really a perfect time to do so, but I’m from this little planet called -’’ Eden was saying when Matt let out a laugh
‘’Shut up,’’ he said and pushed his lips to hers. He knew with out a doubt that she was the one he wanted to marry, have kids with and spend the rest of his life with. She loved his family as much as they loved her and she was always ready and willing to help… and he loved that she was definitely up for anything. She made everything fun and exciting. He loved that she came across as little saint to everyone else, but he knew she was definitely a little devil when it came to fucking. She adored and loved Matt, and never a day went by that she didn’t feel lucky and blessed to have Matt and his family in her life.
Matt sighed as he and Eden lay next to each other on the blow-up mattress. The heat really was relentless and stifling. Every time they moved, it felt like the sheets were clinging to their bodies. A fan was blowing cool air but it was as helpful, and equivalent to puckering one’s lips up and blowing air out of them. It was so hot, that they were all struggling to sleep. Eden sensed Matt was not only frustrated by the heat but also that with so many people in a house sharing, they couldn’t do much in the sex department, though they certainly found ways. Matt and Eden said they would sleep in the living room on a blow-up mattress while Chris and his girlfriend, shared the couch.
‘’Are you okay?’’ Eden whispered when Matt once again let out a groan
‘’It’s like we’re in a desert or something,’’ Matt mumbled and sat up. He reached for a glass of water on a nearby side table and made some kind of sound and then looked at Eden with horror. ‘’The fucking ice has melted in the glass already,’’ he said, his voice laced with disbelief. It concerned her because Matt was generally calm but he was definitely agitated by the heat.
Eden lay for a moment, staring at the ceiling wondering how she could help him. Her eyes swung from one end of the ceiling to the other, then back again. She suddenly sat up, finding the remedy to maybe both the heat and lack of sex problem…even if it was only a short reprieve. She slid off the mattress then padded to his side and put her hand out, palms up.
‘’Come on,’’ she whispered
‘’You two might as well just talk, and not whisper,’’ Chris said
‘’Shut up,’’ Matt said loudly through a laugh
‘’Fuck off,’’ Chris replied with a chuckle
‘’Sorry, Chris,’’ Eden said with a giggle. They never ceased to make her laugh with their friendly banter.
‘’Nah Edie, I mean it’s so hot, I can’t sleep anyway,’’ Chris said and his girlfriend let out a ‘mhm’ in agreement.
Matt put his hand in Edens and she pulled him up. ‘’Where are we going?’’ he asked, his movements were slower than Eden’s in the heat.
‘’A walk,’’ Eden said as she led him to the kitchen. She first opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of ice cold water then handed it to Matt as he looked at the time on the microwave, it’s glowing green telling him it was two in the morning. He sighed thinking it was a long way from morning but still the weather on the news had said it would be an equally hot day if not hotter. Eden hesitated to close the fridge door because the cool air felt so good against her hot skin. She was wearing an old t-shirt Matt had given her and they took the scissors to it, cutting the sleeves off and widening the neck area for her to be cooler. She really didn’t mind the heat but this? This was something else. She felt for everyone else because if she was feeling it, they must have been suffering.
They slipped out the door quietly into the night, ‘’Should I put a t shirt on?’’ Matt asked
‘’Show me one man who has a shirt on in this weather and I’ll give him a thousand dollars,’’ Eden said
‘’Does that include me and does it still stand until we get back?’’ Matt asked
Eden giggled and smacked his tight ass, ‘’always,’’ she said
‘’Where are we going?’’ Matt asked and slipped his hand into Eden’s. Their fingers intertwined and he lifted their hands and then gave her hand a kiss. ‘’Thanks for this, it is slightly better out here.’’
She smiled at Matt, ‘’the park,’’ Eden said simply
The moon was full and illuminated the way for them. It was quiet but for the water lapping to the shore. The roads were dead and the park deserted. People had either passed out from the heat or were sitting in front of fans hoping to cool down. The park was relatively close to the house, but hidden and nestled amongst trees. Eden led Matt to the swings and Matt sat on one while she sat on the other, right next to him. She started swinging softly while Matt only moved back and forth slightly keeping his feet on the ground. He took a sip of water and offered Eden some, but she declined, with a shake of her head and a warm smile.
‘’Matt? Remember that park we went to at Evan’s house?’’ Eden asked and stopped the swing, then got off, ‘’you know, when he had that party?’’
‘’Yeah,’’ Matt said as he put the bottle of water on the ground, and then it hit him. His eyes went big and a smile formed on his face. How could he have forgotten that?
‘’Yeah?’’ she asked and bit her bottom lip
‘’Fuck yes. Hop on,’’ Matt said and she squealed softly with excitement as she grabbed the chains and lifted herself onto Matt’s lap, sliding her legs over his as she sat down, her legs handing over his on the side of the swing. Matt smiled because the last time they had fumbled a lot trying to work out how to do it but now they seemed to have mastered it. Well…they were going to find out.
‘’How did I get so lucky?’’ Matt asked her softly
Eden smiled at him and placed a hand on his cheek and tilted his face up a fraction, ‘’I’m the lucky one,’’ Eden whispered and lightly brushed her lips against his.
Her hand slid down his neck, his chest, and then her fingers danced above the shorts elastic as Matt deepened the kiss. It was never pedestrian. His kisses always made her feel desired and wanted. She got drunk on their kisses. Matt moaned into the kiss and Eden felt his hands by hers. She knew he was getting impatient so she moved her hand and brought it to her pussy and moved her panties to the side while he pushed his shorts down as much as he could. The small piece of material was wet already and she felt Matt’s cock, now free of his shorts, as hard as a rock. That alone sent every nerve in her body tingling. His hands found the thin straps of the sleep shirt and he pushed them down, over her shoulders. Eden smiled into the kiss and pulled her arms out of the straps, letting the material fall softly around her middle. Matt broke the kiss, eager to get a nipple into his hungry mouth. She moaned, dropping her head back, and arched her back, pushing her titties forward so Matt could take in more. He was a genius with his tongue, no matter where he placed it on her body. Eden bit her bottom lip and slid her hand between them and closed her hand around Matt’s thick shaft. She smiled wickedly because his pre-cum had run down his shaft, leaving him slick. He sucked in a breath from the touch to his painfully erect dick but it felt so fucking good. Eden lifted herself, aimed his dick at her tight little entrance and then slid onto his dick agonizingly slowly, savoring every inch going in. Both Eden and Matt groaned lowly with simultaneous pleasure.
‘’Oh god Eden,’’ Matt moaned, ‘’you have no idea how good that feels.’’
‘’Oh, but I do,’’ Eden said with a grin and licked her hand of the pre-cum, making Matt swear under his breath. ‘’Start swinging. We don’t want to be caught,’’ she purred
‘’I’ve been wanting to fuck you all day’’ Matt said curling his hands around the chains,’’this won’t take long.’’
Eden smiled as she also gripped the chains, the cool metal making her more aroused, ‘’me too, babe.’’
Matt laughed and pushed them back with his legs and then let them fall forward as he tucked his legs back. He was sure going to have one hell of a workout keeping the swing in motion, but she knew without a doubt that he could handle it. They were soon gliding through the air, back and forth. Every time they went back, Eden would slide down his dick and when they got to the furthest point, having to go back down, she would push down on him as forces of nature and gravity worked. Eden moaned loudly with sheer pleasure every time that happened and Matt groaned feeling himself deep inside of her tight, wet pussy. When they went back down, Eden was lifted up, his dick sliding halfway out, exposing him to the cooler air, then he would slip back into her hot pussy. The contrast of heat and cool air in motion sent a pleasant shiver up his spine, never feeling anything like it. Matt loved everything – the way they had to be so close, the way they molded into each other, the fact that they had to rely upon and trust each other. The tightness around his hard throbbing cock, the way her hair flew behind her and fanned when they went up, and then around her when they went back down and he loved the look on her face with her breasts firm in front of him. He wanted to touch them, grab them but he couldn’t. Fuck! It was the most blissful torture ever. The deep penetration on the up was something different than normal penetration. It was a force that could only be achieved in their current position and situation.
Matt could tell she was close as her pussy started fluttering his cock, her body got tense and she dropped her head. ‘’Ooh, Matt…shit, Matt…’’ Eden said with urgency as she felt her muscles tightening, the rush coursing through her and pure ecstasy shoot over her body, and she let her one hand go from the chains, putting it around Matt’s shoulders. She pushed her face into the side of his neck as her walls clasped around Matt like a vice grip. The sheer strength around him set him on the very edge. Eden’s loud scream’s and moans were muffled as she buried her face into his neck and shoulder. She let go of the chains with her other hand to grip onto him tighter looking for more purchase, as Matt brought them to a stop. Her fingers dug into his muscles and her body shook against him. Once they were stationary Matt grabbed Eden’s ass and lifted her, then pushed her back down on his cock.
‘’FUCK YES, EDEN,’’ Matt moaned and he felt a wetness on his skin. The sound of Edens moans, the feel of her skin, her smell was so intoxicating to Matt as he slammed her down on him again and let out a growl as he felt his orgasm shoot out from the base of his balls and run through him. Eden lifted her face and they locked eyes for a second, before her eyes went big and she sucked in a breath.
‘’Kiss me,’’ Matt said through clenched teeth knowing she was coming yet again. Matt wanted to scream as loud as Eden because it was incredible but he knew he couldn’t as her walls locked around him again. He shot a massive load into Eden, rope after rope, after rope. After having to hold it in all day, wanting her all day….it built up. Eden pushed her lips to his, their tongues immediately meeting. The kiss muffled most of her screams and moans but a few escaped into the quiet night. Neither cared at the very moment. Matt’s dick twitched at the last spray into her pussy, and Eden still rammed herself down onto him two more times before she slumped onto him, breaking the kiss. Matt slid his arms around her and they sat like that for five minutes, panting, trying to catch their breath. In the distance they heard laughter, and Matt slowly slid his hands back down Eden’s back as she sat up straight again. He found the straps of her shirt and then pulled them up, Eden pushing her arms into them. He then let the straps rest on her shoulders and pulled out of her warm, wet, over-flowing pussy, letting out a groan not wanting to leave the warm confines of her tight pussy, but having to.
Matt looked over Eden’s shoulder and she turned her head as they heard low talking in the distance. A couple was walking on the sidewalk across the road but they knew the couple couldn’t see them, and that they had the vantage point. Clearly two lovers where out on a walk also trying to escape the heat. They were in the distance, but Eden could tell they were holding hands and very much into each other. They watched them disappear into a thick of trees and Eden turned back to Matt.
Matt smiled and gave her a half nod, ‘’they should try the swings,’’ he said and Eden burst out laughing. She pushed a hand between them and pulled her panties back into place and then grabbed the chains and weakly pulled herself up and climbed off of Matt. As her feet hit the ground, she tried to stand, but her legs buckled and Matt grabbed her to stop her falling.
‘’I’m fucking spent,’’ Eden said with laugh
‘’That was…something else. Fucking amazing’’ Matt said through his own laugh
‘’You’re a mess,’’ she said
‘’So are you,’’ Matt said with a laugh. They were both covered in sweat with a combination of their cum and juices sticking to them, their hair matted but looking so satisfied and elated.
She looked down and saw some of Matt’s cum running down her leg. She smiled and took her index finger and ran it up the zigzag line it had formed, collecting it. She then lifted her finger to her mouth and licked it off.
Matt smiled, ‘’your so fucking hot,’’ he said, noting she didn’t do that for him, she did it for herself. She wanted to taste him, to savour him.
Eden let her eyes fall back on Matt as she swallowed and smiled. ‘’I can clean you up,’’ she said
‘’Not this time. You can hardly stand, we’ll take a quick shower when we get home,’’ Matt said and somewhere along the line, Matt had put his dick away and fixed his shots because he pulled her down onto his lap.
‘’Do you feel better?’’ Eden asked Matt softly
‘’You have no idea. Thank you,baby. I love you so much’’ Matt said and gave her a kiss.
‘’Good,’’ Eden said and ran her fingertips along his stubbly jaw, ‘’I love you too’’.
‘’I’ll piggy back you home,’’ Matt said and smiled to himself because he had the best little vixen saint and she was the remedy he needed.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! YOU ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED <3
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