#i kinda died when i saw that

[xiewho]

no time to celebrate

#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason #i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside #BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!! #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes #they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz) #so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up #joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real #dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die #i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years #my art

[even-disco-baby]

SOLA — Her Innocence, Sola— the anti-innocence— turns to face you. In the distance, you hear the tattoo of propellers, turning, sucking all the air. A strong wind whips her long, dark hair around her face. Her simple black gown billows behind her. The same gown she wore the day she resigned.

She has your eyes.

“Hi, Kim,” she says simply. “You don’t look well.”

PAIN THRESHOLD — Her voice is so familiar, and yet the moment she stops speaking, you cannot recall its sound, no matter how hard you try. And you have tried. Innumerable times.

AUTHORITY — What makes her think she would even *know* the difference between you looking well or unwell? She’s being presumptuous. She doesn’t even know you.

INLAND EMPIRE — She never will.

“I’m doing great, actually. Never been better.”

“Hey, I’m trying my best.”

“I’m *not* well. I’m so fucking unwell. I can’t take it anymore. Please, help me…”

“I’ll live.”

SOLA — “Hm…” She smiles apologetically. “Well, that’s all we can really ask for anymore, isn’t it?”

EMPATHY — She wishes more than anything that this was not the case. That you could ask for the world and have it.

RHETORIC — She tried to give it to you, and this is how you repay her? You’re gonna be in *deep* shit trying to explain that insignia you stitched onto her jacket.

“Um, about the jacket. It’s not what it… well, no, it *is* what it looks like. But I don’t— it’s— there’s nuance.”

“Is that really all you have to say to me?”

“I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Where are you going?”

SOLA — Her Innocence looks away from you, toward the wind. “Away,” she says, her voice distant and strange. “Yes… I’m stepping down, you see. The world doesn’t need me. It never needed me, really. It’s best for humanity to think for itself. No… it already *does* think for itself.”

She turns back to you with a small smile. The thought brings her peace.

PAIN THRESHOLD — But what does it bring *you?* She’s leaving you forever. Abandoning you for lofty ideals.

AUTHORITY — Let her go. Let her see how little you care. Don’t give her any satisfaction.

HALF LIGHT — Stop her. You won’t be able to live without her.

VOLITION — You have already lived almost all your life without her. You don’t need her. You have *never* needed her.

“What if the world *does* need you? Who are you to make that decision for the entire world?”

“Fine. Go. It’s none of my business.”

“So you’re just going to leave me behind again.”

“Please, don’t go. *I* need you.”

SOLA — “What else is an Innocence appointed to do?” Her smile turns wry. “You see? This is why I’m stepping down.”

Distant propellers turn and turn in endless circles. She glances toward them.

YOU — “Fine. Go. It’s none of my business.”

SOLA — “I suppose not.” Her voice and her face betray nothing. No sign of remorse.

YOU — “So you’re just going to leave me behind again.”

SOLA — “That was never my intention,” she says softly. “Surely you know that.”

INLAND EMPIRE — You will never truly know. No one will.

SOLA — She stares out at the horizon through the tendrils of hair that almost seem to threaten to swallow her. Her expression is strange and ambiguous, shifting every time you try and look directly at it.

YOU — “Please, don’t go. *I* need you.”

SOLA — She looks at you, and her eyes are full of what might be genuine sadness. But they could also be full of anything else.

“Oh, Kim… You must make do with what you have. I don’t know what else you want me to say…���

RHETORIC — What?! There are a million other things she could say! Forty-one years worth of possibilities! She could say *anything!* Anything at all… Even if she’d only left you a single word, it would be better than this…

VOLITION — It’s pointless to wish. Please, no more of this. It’s too sad.

“You could say that you’re sorry.”

“Say that I turned out all right.”

“Say that you’re proud of me. That you love me.”

SOLA — “Then I’m sorry.” She closes her eyes. “It was terrible of us to leave you alone.”

Her voice is utterly calm and emotionless.

PAIN THRESHOLD — No… Wrong, all wrong…

YOU — “Say that I turned out all right.”

SOLA — “You’re a good man despite it all. That is all I ever hoped for you.”

Again, there is no warmth to her words. No conviction.

VOLITION — Lieutenant… Please, don’t do this to yourself.

YOU — “Say that you’re proud of me. That you love me.”

SOLA — “I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. You wear that jacket well.”

Her eyes have nothing behind them. A pair of two millimeter holes in the world.

“I love you.”

PAIN THRESHOLD — Your lungs seem to constrict at her words. Your chest hurts more than it’s ever hurt. This wind is hard to breathe in.

YOU — “No! Don’t you fucking get it?! You don’t love me!”

SOLA — “Then I don’t love you.”

YOU — “You should be *ashamed* of me!”

SOLA — “Then I am ashamed.”

YOU — “I betrayed you! I betrayed everything you stood for! I’m a fucking cop!”

SOLA — “Then I am betrayed.”

She proclaims it as dispassionately as she proclaimed her love.

YOU — “For god’s sake, *say something real!*”

SOLA — She just looks at you. The propellers keep on turning.

DRAMA — She can’t speak for herself, sire…

LOGIC — Of course she can’t. Of course…

PAIN THRESHOLD — Your lungs feel like they could collapse. Empty, crumpled, dark. Hot tears prick your eyes for the first time in what feels like a long time.

SOLA — “Do you understand now?” she asks gently.

LOGIC — She cannot speak for herself because you do not know what she would say.

There are many memories that you have been slowly recovering, little by little. Your mother will never be one of them. Her, the revolution, the aerostatic brigade— they all died before you could even comprehend loss.

AUTHORITY — You did not become a detective so that you could find your lost mother. You became a police officer because you did not want to end up like her.

VOLITION — She can neither forgive you, nor condemn you. She is dead, Lieutenant. She can only be what you make her.

RHETORIC — You’re asking your own echo for answers…

SOLA — “Humanity must think for itself,” she says again, turning again toward the wind. “What point is there in asking me where to go from here? I’m a failure. We all failed…”

RHETORIC — The revolutionaries failed their children, and the children are failing their parents, and all of them are dying, dying, dead… What’s the point in any of this anymore? I cannot argue in favor of any of it.

VOLITION — There is a point. There is a way forward. But you won’t find it here, Lieutenant.

“I hate you. You made me everything I am and then you just *left.*”

“I miss you… How is it even possible to miss someone you never met? It’s like someone ripped a part of me out and all I can do is bleed.”

“I don’t know what I am. I need you to tell me what I am.”

SOLA — One last time, she turns back to you. She slowly bridges the gap between you and reaches out a hand to cup your cheek. Her fingers feel like your own.

“You are whatever kind of animal you choose to be,” she says, so quietly that you don’t know how you can hear it over the distant roar of engines. “I cannot make that choice for you.”

EMPATHY — She died hoping that you would grow up with the freedom to choose to be whatever you wanted. Instead, the world that raised you hardly let you dare to want anything.

VOLITION — But you can still make a choice. Humanity can still think for itself.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #swap au #should i tag sola? i kinda doubt i’ll ever need to use that tag again LMAO #anyway um. yeah. #tbh as fun as the swap au stuff is i wasn’t all that interested in it until my brain was like. SWAP DREAM SEQUENCE #and now suddenly i have like. lore for swap kim. #his breakdown isn’t bc of a breakup it’s over a crisis of identity #at first when he wakes up and starts inspecting stuff like his jacket and his notes #he starts finding out things abt his mother (a revolutionary aerostatic pilot who died and passed down the jacket to him) #and at first he’s like ohh i see im investigating her disappearance! #but he’s not. she’s dead. she died when the moralintern crushed the commune #kim grew up resenting both his parents for dying in a failed revolution #leaving him to grow up alone as a gay disabled seolite orphan #he became a cop and drank the moralist koolaid bc he didn’t want to be like his parents #and also bc he wanted to not be so powerless (and to be able to take shit out on other ppl just like canon kim) #but also just like in canon his experience in the rcm was just more of the same shit #he felt constantly humiliated and like a hypocrite and just compartmentalized hardcore #then he came to martinaise and saw the scars of the failed revolution and finally just snapped and broke down #he doesn’t even know what kind of animal he is other than he doesn’t want to be it anymore #so he pulls harry’s epic mind wipe binge and etc etc #anyway. coughs

[glindaupland]

231209 Julian Kim Music Library // Act 4. L'invito - Til I Hear You Sing (Love Never Dies)

Add another POTO actor singing (the Korean version of) 'Til I Hear You Sing' to the list

#realized i got the date on this wrong at first lol #i mixed up the two concerts #shaking my fist rn stop making me enjoy lnd in some kind of way #but when i saw this setlist before i was praying for video so god bless #also lol the phantom whose interpretation is least likely to become lnd erik #김주택 #kim ju taek #julian kim #kim joo taek #love never dies #poto korea #miraclass #미라클라스 #ngl...kinda wanna hear this at a dongseok concert

[decisions-at-3am]

I'll know you're gone when flowers die, The landscape beginning to dull. When the sky slowly greys, All colour fading away.

When your books and diaries, All carefully crafted. Painstakingly handbound. Lie there waiting, gathering dust.

I can't bring myself to shift them. To see your handwriting stop, Such finality would shatter me. In my mind, you're still here.

When I stop turning to look, Expecting you nearby. That's when I'll know you're truly gone, When even shadows don't linger.

#writerscreed #original poem #spilled ink #dark academia #original poetry #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #my poem #my poetry #writers and poets #writerscommunity #sad poem #🧮 #i saw a prompt 'when flowers die' #and it made me think of 📚+🧮 #it's from 🧮's pov when 📚 dies (it's an earlyish death) #i made myself tear up writing this (i would've cried if I wasn't cringeing at myself so hard) #it kinda made me sad in the same way the 'don't go where I can't follow' trope does #title: I know you're gone #idek if it's good lol

[localghostgorl]

The Vallakovich family. Vargas, Lydia and Viktor as invisioned by me.

I do commissions!  

#curse of strahd #lydia petrovna #vargas vallakovich #viktor vallakovich #curse of strahd pc #original character #rpg character #dungeons & dragons 5e #grisha #okay so welcome to the vallakovich family #its not finished quite yet because i havent drawn in a while #theres gonna be grisha's late birth mum and also izek thrown in there #idk if its canon but in my game izek was taken in by vargas when his family died #and i decided that grisha saw izek as his big brother bc they basically half grew up together #also drawing vargas was really fun. it was kinda like aging grisha bc theyre supposed to look really similar #also rip im not even in that game anymore and dropped out like 2 months ago. so you know this has been sitting in my folders for A WHILE #wip #ghostart

[yeonban]

I have to say my favorite part about Aha's character is how pivotal they are to the story and how subtly they lead the universe to lean into one direction or the other while everyone mainly continues to see them as a hehe xd lol jester cringefail little havoc creating guy intent solely on trolling everyone

#muse: aha. #By all means they Do very much enjoy trolling and deceiving people bc it's FUN! but they're also So Much More than that #besides Fuli whose entire Thing is to know & remember everything and Qlipoth who saw parts of the future & is one of the oldest aeons #I'm pretty sure Aha is the next best informed aeon out there AND they're smart enough to act well with the info they have in mind #Altho not even their followers can tell when they're being /fr or /j bc Aha insists on clowning kinda like in the yell wolf 3 times story #Also one thing that gets me every time is how Aha was clearly down horrendously for Akivili but they can't go against their path #so emotions like sadness or grief are forever locked for them unless they want to cease to exist; so when Akivili died Aha could just laugh #I say this ^ bc Aha is the Only aeon who can tell the Trailblazer in SU isn't the real Akivili #and yes that does in part stem from how Aha learned the truth of the world (all is a simulation to begin with; SU is just a different kind) #but there's another layer to it too - they knew Akivili better than any other aeon including Qlipoth who also seems to have had a crush #Aha staring at the Trailblazer for less than a second in SU when they posed as Akivili: Heeey FAKE Akivili howdy!

[asgardian--angels]

...prayer circle for izzy hands

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #i'm actually getting nervous for jenkins et al for tomorrow bc if they do kill off izzy i fear there will be a riot lmao #i'm so on the fence #because part of me is like 'djenks would never do that - he loves izzy's character and no one perma-dies on this show' #and narratively it would be strange (though not completely out of the realm of possibility) for him to die after this whole arc #and surely the whole team is aware that folks would be furious #(me personally i'm down with whatever happens so long as it fits the story but i know a lot of folks would be legit upset) #but i cannot shake those images from the bts of person-who's-definitely-con lying on the deck as ed puts a coat over him #and then the funeral and grave on the beach #THAT ALL BEING SAID i'm holding onto that one reviewer on twitter who saw the finale already #and said they have as much faith if not more in jenkins and co after the finale #i do find it hard to believe they'd really sacrifice izzy like that #even though i can imagine at least one scenario that would make it plausible but it would still be kinda shitty #I just... mmmm.....i really dont know how this will go #and im afraid to be around fandom when or if it does lol #ultimately my greatest fear is that if they do kill him or another beloved character off it affects our renewal chances #like no matter what happens yall gotta campaign hard

[dockaspbrak]

i miss my cat

#hes been dead for almost 6 months #im still so sad #i miss my little guy ijgorijgerg he was so sweet he never did anything wrong #i drew image hahaha;;;; #trying to do some readnig for class and idk death is on the mind but i also saw a post abt fur so i guess that made me tjhink of him #they let me pet him when the vet yakno and eogijeriogj he was still so soft #worst part is i kinda hate all cats now for not being him? a littlebit? idk how to deal wit h that tbh i always thought i loved all cats bu #just that i lvoed him more than any other but #now its like i see how they arent him more than i see the good qualities #i miss him so much its like he died recently still #sorry this is so sad ionjgoiejrg i hope no one reads this

[watanabes-cum-dump]

I will not suffer alone sO-

Edmont singing Leaves From The Vine for Haurchefant.

Little soldier boy Come marching home Brave soldier boy Comes marching home

Here's a full version of the song bc I hate myself

Like... it fits doesn't it? Do you think Edmont regretted caring more for his country and prestige in that moment? Bro is not winning any father of the year awards but he loves his boys and he fucked up bigtime. Edmont is a terrible father but to me he loves them. I think subconsciously in the back of his mind he also tried to put the Fortemps name before any of them. But when Haurchefant died I like to think he was like "Oh shit. I don't care about the Fortemps legacy anymore I just want my sons to be safe."

ALSO DO YOU THINK ARTOIREL AND EDMONT REGRET NOT DEFENDING HAURCHEFANT WHILE HE WAS GROWING UP BEING COLLECTIVELY BULLIED BY ISHGARD'S NOBILITY!? I am so fucking normal abt Haurchefant and the Fortemps you have no idea

And to think it still says Greystone on his grave :(

#i'm gonna cry he's edmont's little soldier boyyy uuueeeeeee #i was fucking devastated when haurche died at the vault AND THEN WE HAD TO GO HOME AND TELL HIS DAD!?!?!?! I #i never want to break the news to someone that they outlived their kid #and artoirelllllll ueeee #idc to me artoirel is the loving protective older brother i like to think he lost his shit behind the scenes #and emmanellain :( #i give him shit for being pathetic but like... can you imagine losing your brother? damn #i kinda wish we saw other NPCs visit Haurchefant on like a schedule or smth #like sometimes it's soldiers from camp dragonhead #sometimes it's edmont or his brothers #i wish emmanellain would visit since he's at dragonhead now #anyways #normal normal kou you are NORMAL #ffxiv #haurchefant greystone #haurchefant de fortemps #ffxiv heavensward #Youtube #edmont de fortemps

[hondayota]

found this sticker in a pack i got from amazon

#GO IN HARD COME OUT WET I THINK I DIED LAUGHING WHEN I SAW IT #rambles #jude talks swimming #<- kinda

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Glass Onion really was just me yelling about how stupid Miles is the entire time and then feeling the satisfaction when the other characters realized it too

#I was on the miles hate train from the moment I saw him but also when he said the mona lisa’s smile appears and disappears I was so pissed #like yes the meaning of the mona lisa’s smile changes every time you look at it I can get behind that #but the smile itself does not disappear!!!!! the restoration of her smile was like a whole thing!!!! what the fuck are you talking about!!!’ #‘that is the Aegean sea’ one of my favorite lines ngl #glass onion #glass onion spoilers #technically I guess? #ok spoilers starting here #also I can’t have been the only one who realized that the handwriting on the envelope that said ‘love andi’ #was the same as the handwriting on the invitation that said ‘love miles’ #bro couldn’t even get original with that #love the fact that blanc didn’t even get the chance to solve the puzzles so he just trashed them to miles’ face just cause he could #an icon honestly #also I truly don’t think that’s how allergic reactions work like he would not have just died that quickly but I guess it must have been bad #also also for the record I called the allergic reaction thing from the second he dropped cause why else would they mention that #to be fair I fully thought that the fruit in his drink was a straight up pineapple so I am kinda dumb but it did remind me of the allergy so #helen brand you will always be famous #anyways i’ll shut up now #autism (mads) speaks

[tonya-the-chicken]

I have this feeling like everyone pretends that russo-ukrainian conflict is extremely complex when it's simple as heck while simultaneously pretending israeli-palestinian conflict is extremely simple when it's complex

#every time I see people discussing it I find new information and it never freaking stops #there's like 20 different things at play #meanwhile russia bombed us at 4am unprompted #people act like it's a game where you pick a player to cheer on #when it's more like maybe you should feel sorry for israelis murdered by hamas. And maybe you should feel sorry for palestinians in Gaza #i stand with israel i stand with palestine have any of y'all tried standing with international laws #I still cannot believe I saw pro-palestine peoples laughing about hamas's atrack when civilians died #maybe all these days I am just recovering from the shock tbh #vent #kinda tired tbh I have my own war to worry about

[jhirowolf]

Being the most confused little popsicle from the overly positive Deadpool & Wolverine trailer reactions because for me it was mostly a miss in terms of what was shown, the comedy was mainly a total miss for me, i am confused as fuck by the timeline and what is the TVA trying to accomplish, not to mention i just hate the TVA, the visuals seem cool tho, i like Deadpools new costume, i am curious about Patch, a bit confused that Wolverine, who's name is in the title, doesn't really even show up. Maybe all the multiverse bullshit left me too jaded (it's so cheap, lazy and boring way to bring fan-service and cameos, with there being only few things that got it right) and the Hype-train missed me.

#Deadpool #deapool 3 #deadpool & wolverine #my thoughts #also the Marvel jesus line was so cringy to me #maybe part of it is also all the 4th wall breaks #whitch i don't like when Deadpool does too much #it's just a lazy thing to do and usualy leads to cheap unfunny jokes #the trailer made me question if the previous two movies were also actually not that great #guess i am gonna rewatch them today #it definetly won't revive my love for the MCU #that kinda died as i got more into comics and saw what they're doing to my favorite characters #i hope the movie is actually gonna be good and i am gonna like it tho

[superpointlesschicken]

Ok

so

like what if...

Al.

#AU Where Ed dies after they get back from training with teacher #it's a similar diesese to what Trisha had #idk #but he died #Al the little bean that he is tries to bring him back #because Ed was the only family he had left #right?? #He becomes mute and loses both his legs #cuz #like he loses his ability to bond with others through conversation #so he can't like make friends with other kids anymore #And he loses his ability to move forward #When mustang finds him he's like #“you do that all by yourself kid? I saw the basement” #Als freaked out and he cant talk #mustangs kinda mad coz the kid wont answer him so he's like #“Bro answer me you annoying little brat” #Pinako comes in at this time and is like #“he cant talk idiot.” #mustang's like #oh #I have so many ideas for this AU #Fma #fma au #au art

[bones-n-bookles]

Why did my coworker call me handsome twice today

#me and him are like. chilling. we have bro-hugs most times we greet eachother and fist bumps or he gives me a shoulder pat #when my wrists are too fucky #i cried on his shoulder when a dog i loved died #but he said hey handsome when he saw me today and then later handsome when i left work and im so ????????? #i dont mind; its just new and im kinda ????????? why is this a thing now. why change. #he doesnt know im trans (or gay; though thats easier to guess lol) and ive heard hes not cool about trans people so im a bit uhhhhhhhh #please dont confuse the twink ive already got too much going on in the field of my romance life #anyways #idle rambling #living up to the tag ✨️

[deus-and-the-machina]

xenoblade 1 is interesting because when I first played it I had really mixed feelings. mostly I think because it had been slightly overhyped for me. there were so many videos with masterpiece in the description and people saying it was their favorite.

there was a lot that first turned me off during the story (namely the way it handled its female characters made me frustrated at multiple points) and also how they handled the revenge arc because I have very very specific taste in revenge arcs and I just dont think it landed for me. 

I think I appreciate it a lot more now that im fully deep into the series. I do like a lot about it, from its gameplay to its environment to a lot of the little cast interactions, to just shulk existing. yeah. yeah its alright

#I remember when fiora died and dunban reyn and shulk were all talking about it I couldn't help but just be acutely aware they'd killed off #the only girl in the cast for their revenge quest and it put a sour taste in my mouth. at least we got sharla soon after who they ALSO did #dirty :(((( and they do bring fiora back but man. girl you've been through so much and have a GOD in your body but all you can think about #is how your bf will feel are you serious. its like they saw the backlash to shion and went ok women no more being realistically upset for #you gotta wait like another game or two :/// you get to never confront or be mad about the guy who stabbed you or the guy who wanted you #brainwashed and also forcibly altered your body irreversibly no your boyfriend gets tobe mad about it. be nice and optimistic darnit #and every lady in the party has their story tied to a romantic relationship in some waytoo. l'man. at least melia got her moment in fc #and its like. its odd bc I dont really DISLIKE any of the major 1 characters its on a scale from liking them to being upset on their behalf #like you have so many charming moments and interactions and I WANT to like you. but they just did you so dirty :(((( #idk ive wanted to get that out there for a while. I have very messy feelings on 1 which is kinda ironic bc a lot of people considered it the #less controversial one for a long time lol. and it is. but still. #siren says #xenoblade #xenoblade chronicles #im constantly on my hater arc btw but I only let it out occasionally bc I am constantly worried of backlash online. I keep my bitching to #friends mostly lmao and oh do they know all about it