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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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AITA for making out with my best friend?

Ok so, my (16ftm) best friend (17mtf) and i were hanging out in the choir room during our shared lunch period because she had asked me to come there and cuddle her because she's been feeling terrible lately, and while we were cuddling she told me what the reason was: her partner (20, gender fluid) had cheated on her and she found out over our winter break from school (as of writing this, 1 week ago). She was really upset about it and ended up kind of just rambling at me about how she's going to give them another chance because she loves them and still wants the future theyve been planning together for over a year and a half.

A bit of context is needed before i get to the part where i might be TA. From late october of 2022 to early september of 2023, i had a huge crush on my friend and she knew about it since december of 2022. While i dont actively have a crush on her anymore, im the kind of person whose attraction/feelings never really go away fully. This didn't change anything about our friendship, but its also worth mentioning that she also had a crush on me for a few weeks until she started dating her partner in november of 2022. Throughout our friendship, we've talked a lot in a specific channel in a discord server i made with all my closest friends. That channel is named horny jail. This is relevant.

All of that is important because today when we were in the choir room and she told me about her partner cheating, she also mentioned that there was a small but extremely loud part of her brain telling her to use me as a way to kind of justify giving her partner another chance, because "if i do it then i can't be mad at [partner] for doing the same thing". She then clarified that "use" meant doing gay horny shit because of the things ive told her, not like emotionally manipulating me. She then asked if i would be okay with making out with her, and i hesitated for a while and thought it over because she was clearly very upset and on the one hand, i could help make her feel a bit better in the moment, but on the other hand i know she's going to regret it soon. As you can see in the title, i decided that helping her feel better in the moment was more important, so we made out for a few minutes and then we went back to class.

I feel like i might be TA because i knew she was incredibly vulnerable in the moment and would regret it, but i still made out with her and im like 10% sure it was partially me just indulging the part of myself that still is attracted to her.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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autism-alley · 3 months

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augh found my old post abt pjo and disability from before the show came out but it was on ye olde blog so i’m literally just gonna copy and paste, 3, 2, 1—

ok now that i’ve got it on the brain, i want to talk about disability in pjo and specifically how calling percy jackson dumb or treating him as such is not only a mischaracterization, but ableism. as a quick note, i’m keeping this to just percy to avoid having this already long post be even longer, but there are other disabled characters in pjo worthy of discussion, though i hit many of the same points in this post. i bring up percy specifically because he is mostly the character i have seen people treat as stupid.

percy is a dyslexic teen with ADHD who comes from a low-income family, raised by a single mother, and deals with an abusive step-father. i cannot stress enough how much of his character is shaped by that experience, but as hard as it is to single out any one part, i am going to focus on his ADHD and dyslexia. this kid has nightmares of being forced to take tests in a straightjacket as teachers ask him if he’s stupid and withhold him from recess with his peers. he is constantly labelled as “troubled” and blamed for things he didn’t do or aren’t his fault. he is told, over and over again, even from trusted adults, that he is “not normal” (othering him). he bounces between schools. he struggles to make friends. he deals with bullying. he has difficulty studying and reading, even when invested. teachers struggle to connect with him and tend to just give up on him. these are real disabled experiences, and rick does a good job at presenting them in the pjo books. sometimes, it feels like everything is a struggle. you are living inside a system that not only is restricting, but actively works against and punishes you.

in contrast, CHB is a great example of how when environments meet the needs of disabled people, it hugely changes how disabled we are in that environment. demigod brains are hard-wired for ancient greek, not english, and they’re born impulsive, with high energy levels that help them survive battle—but aren’t very good for a classroom setting. but by having them read books in ancient greek, regularly do lots of training/physical activities, and have genuine opportunities to express themselves...they function pretty damn well. percy discovers that while he struggles academically, he is brilliant in combat and capable of saving the world numerous times—he is a hero. do you know how important that message is for disabled children? disabled adults, too? that we can be heroes?

it is here, in camp half-blood, that percy finds a place he belongs, that shows him his worth—finally, somewhere is built to not only include him, but to nurture and genuinely prepare him for the world outside its boarders. however, i think people forget that just because percy functions in the world of CHB and the gods, that does not mean he doesn’t face ableism in the mortal world—and that there is an entire group of people who see ourselves reflected in his character.

i could talk on for hours about how much being disabled shapes percy’s identity and how he interacts with the world—like how percy’s humor revolves around coping with his environment and actually displays a very low self esteem after being looked down upon his entire life. this kid doesn’t even have to say anything and he screams i had a neurodivergent childhood. but about 5-6 years ago, when i was more regularly tuned into the fandom, every time i saw someone call percy jackson dumb or an idiot, even jokingly, i raised an eyebrow, and now that the series is getting fresh coverage from disney+, i have wanted to make this post. so much of this kid’s life and personality comes from being treated like he’s dumb or incapable, so it’s troubling to watch part of the fanbase reflect the harmful parts of this character’s upbringing. i truly hope it does not become common again. it’s also one thing coming from a neurodivergent/disabled person with similar experiences (and even then i personally find it a little uncomfortable), it’s another to be said by a neurotypical/able bodied person.

percy jackson’s experiences make for very important representation, and for people to characterize him as just a goofy, unintelligent guy is not only an insult to his character as a kid who is intelligent, but previously lacked the environment to show it, but also ableist. so in the dawn of the new tv series era, i ask that we cut that shit out. rick riordan did not create rep for neurodivergent and disabled kids for them to be called stupid by the fanbase. even jokingly.

#anyways yea just had 2 bring this post back #in light of the new show i’d say i don’t think rick has made percy just a goofy airhead but #his and all demigods’ disabilities do feel kind of side lined #and it is disappointing #like. percy’s nightmares of school have made me cry. it breaks my heart especially as a ND kid who had similar nightmares #so yes when i see fans just echo the belief he’s been told all his childhood? infuriating #pjo show crit #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo show #ris raves

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honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 7 months

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May I request a BG3 matchup?

30; afab agender; rampantly bisexual. Medical lab tech (not the cool kind), about to start grad school for forensic biology. I collect postcards and preserved specimens, and raise tarantulas + other bugs. Enjoy making nature journals, birdwatching, puzzles, music, theatre, museums, analyzing horror media, building models, working with clay, writing, reading, and board games (though I get a bit too competitive). Great in the kitchen. Autistic/ADHD. Get sensory overloaded easily. Love meeting people but mostly wish I could exist invisibly and not speak. Chronic pain limits physical activities. Most content during stormy days with candles and coffee, baking or doing a jigsaw puzzle with the windows open and music playing. Think I'm unattractive and obnoxious. OCD + bipolar dictate a lot of my brain. Tendency to word vomit and have difficulty articulating off of paper. Complain a lot and can be passive aggressive. But also like to see people happy and taken care of, and want to leave things better than I find them when possible.

A/N: Alright Tarantula Anon, since you mentioned you’re bisexual, but didn’t state a gender preference, I’ve picked out the best matches- one male and one female for you.

Your best Baldur’s Gate 3 Matches would be Astarion (Male) and Minthara (Female)!

➶ Astarion is also a character I would characterize as “rampantly bisexual” (or pansexual to be more specific in his case lol). Gender presentation isn’t something he factors into attractiveness. If he likes you, he likes you. If he thinks you’re hot, he thinks you’re hot, etc. You get the idea.

Being an immortal vampire, Astarion knows a thing or two about biology. Mainly about how to remain undetected among the human population. In the game, he explains how he never smells like a typical vampire or vampire’s den because he makes a point to scent himself with a mix of fragrances. And while he may not be a medical professional, he’s certainly had his fair share of anatomy lessons, be it distant viewings at the food of Cazador, from the many creatures he’s been forced to seduce. It’s not an exact equivalent, but I do believe he would be fascinated by the kind of work you do regarding live and preserved specimens.

And while I don’t think he’s a bug person (mainly because they were his one source of nutrition for so many years), I think he could be taught to appreciate them over time. Perhaps you could show him how all creatures, even small ones, are incredibly unique and have their own role within our vast universe. It’s humbling to think we are all so incredibly tiny and yet vastly important to the people around us.

There’s so much he’s missed out on experiencing, I think he’d quite like doing any of those activities with you: birdwatching, solving puzzles, listening to music, going to the theater or the museum, tinkering, making ceramics, writing, or reading, or playing board games… Anything! Everything! He especially enjoys the competitive nature of your games. He finds he quite likes the feeling of winning, and he plans on doing it more often. Don’t worry though, he’ll play fair. Well, fair for him, anyway.

He cannot eat so he doesn’t get to fully appreciate your kitchen prowess. But he does enjoy helping you cook. It’s strangely comforting for him to do something so domestic. It’s in moments like those, that he can see the rest of your lives together playing out.

Similarly to you, Astarion loves meeting new people. Or at least he thinks he does. So much of his extroversion was a facade, he’s not certain what part of his people skills are him and which parts were survival. So he needs time in between, away from crowds and strangers to calm down and recharge. He’s grateful that you often tug him away, reminding him to excuse the two of you before either one of you gets too overwhelmed.

He may not be a magic user, but he does what he can to support you in managing your chronic pain. He’ll get Halsin or Shadowheart or even Gale to lessen some of your symptoms. He doesn’t try to cure your condition, nor does he expect you to cure his. However, if finding a more permanent solution to your pain is something you’d want, he’s more than ready to take that journey with you.

He doesn’t think for a second that you’re obnoxious. And trust him on that. He’s met some of the most obnoxious, overwhelmingly annoying magistrates and lords in his first life. He assures you constantly: that you are nothing like them. You’re smart and kind and beautiful. Even if you can’t see it, he sees it for you. Astarion knows what it’s like to live with a body (and by extension a brain) that tells you you’re never good enough. There are still moments when he can’t see himself in a mirror for example, when he thinks of himself as a monster. He’s so grateful you’re there to comfort him and tell him otherwise.

His favorite thing in the world is to cuddle with you next to a large bay window, watching nighttime thunderstorms roll in, a book in his lap and you beside him.

☾ Minthara is often characterized as closed-off and cold. Which you could argue is true. Or you could see it as her being logical, and protective of herself and her heart. She is a drow, and by nature, well accustomed to the more gruesome side of human nature. She feels at home surrounded by macabre, whereas others may be disturbed. I think she’d find your work fascinating. And spiders are something she knows a lot about. Drows and spiders go hand in hand. She sees tarantulas as the perfect pet, they’re small enough to be contained but large enough to have personalities and be something incredible to watch.

She especially enjoys reading horror stories with you or visiting theaters or museums with horror exhibits. Perhaps one about ancient methods of torture- now that would tickle her fancy. And she appreciates your wit and candor when it comes to playing games or solving puzzles with you. So few people treasure such traits in a companion, but not her. She knows how important it is to have a discerning significant other, especially if you are going to be spending any time in the Underdark with her, where being perceptive is a must for survival. She loves your cooking. As a drow noble, she was familiar with the concepts of fancy feasts and indulgent desserts. However, due to her position, she could never truly enjoy them, for fear of being poisoned by enemies. With you doing the meal-making, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

Unlike you, however, Minthara is not that fond of meeting other people. She much prefers the two of you keep to yourselves unless otherwise necessary. People are tiring, and so often unimportant. She sees no need to waste her time and social graces on them. You’re the one she loves. If she’s going to do something with anyone or make an effort, it’s going to be for you and you alone.

She used to think admitting pain was weak, now however, she knows it takes an inner as well as outer strength. She will go to whatever length to ensure your comfort. Simply say the word and she will get it for you. In seeing your survival, Minthara has developed a great admiration for you as a person, seeing how resilient you are. That being said, she will not tolerate you speaking poorly of yourself. You are wonderful. You are strong in mind and spirit. You are intelligent and wise. You are gorgeous. You mean everything to her. She will not hear you put yourself down. She would not choose an unworthy mate, so do not think for a second that you are not deserving of her love and affection.

But by all means, do complain. The world can be so frivolous and pedestrian. She enjoys having someone who not only accepts hearing her own complaints but joins in with their own as well. You can be passive-aggressive in your grievances because she is extremely direct. If something bothers you, she’ll simply ask you if you wish her to kill it. And no she doesn’t care if that’s morally wrong, because for you, she would move heaven and earth if it made you happy.

She is fiercely loyal and now that she is your loving partner, you cannot shake her. She is utterly and wholly devoted to you.

#baldurs gate 3 x reader #astarion x reader #minthara x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 imagine #baldurs gate imagine #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate matchups #bg3 matchups #matchups

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ryuichirou · 5 months

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A couple of miscellaneous replies.

Anonymous asked:

I used to be pretty indifferent to the NRC school staff, but your art and headcanons made me warm up to them a lot, especially Crewel, so thank you!

Aside for his crush on Trein, what do you think Crewel's sex/love life is like? Does he prefer one-night stands or is he interested in finding a more stable relationship? Would he use dating apps or does he just go with the flow?

Aww you’re welcome and thank you, Anon! We don’t get nearly enough of the NRC school stuff in the game itself, but I still love them a lot, so I’m happy you also got invested in them and Crewel specifically.

I like to think that Crewel has quite an active sex/love life. For some reason I imagine him as someone who goes to very specific types of clubs and bars and meets people there (+ maybe people from the fashion industry?) but he could also use dating apps when he’s in the mood for those. Although he seems like the type who needs to see a person with his eyes first, to “smell” them and make sure that they have chemistry.

He doesn’t date; he’s never dated anyone “seriously” in his life. He has a lot of partners though, and he isn’t the nicest person to a lot of them. He doesn’t abuse them or anything, just ghosts a lot of people. He’s a bit of a mess, to be honest lol

Anonymous asked:

I read your twst first time HCs and I laughed at the ones for Jamil. He totally is that guy who’s either really experienced or he’s a total virgin who people just THINK is experienced. Plus that thing about sex as a form of self-punishment is just so on the nose for him I feel.

If Kalim was his first time when do you think it would’ve happened? After Overblot, before Overblot, at the Firework festival, etc.?

Thank you, Anon!! Yeah, Jamil has such a seductive vibe sometimes, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing, but in actuality it’s so possible for him to not even want to have sex at all lol he has too many things to worry about. I’m also happy you noted the self-punishment part! I feel like I come back to this idea every time I think about poor Jamil.

If Kalim was his first, I would say it probably happened after Jamil’s Overblot. We haven’t seen the Firework festival yet, so I’m not sure about the level of tension between them during this period… But maybe during Ch5? When they were staying at the Ramshackle, for example. Or even earlier, right after Ch4. Maybe everything that went down made Kalim reflect on his feelings towards Jamil and realise just how much he desires him.

Or maybe they were having sex actively already by the time we met them lol Kalim seems to be so comfortable around Jamil, it wouldn’t be very surprising to learn that all of his sexual awakening was tightly tied to his closeness with him. So I guess it all depends on his horny or childish you want Kalim to be.

artfulhero-m asked:

After all this time I think your art has convinced my brain to finally ship Lilia x Silver (because you're the only artist that I follow that ships it lol) and my brain has decided to tell me by showing me Lilia teaching Silver how to have a good time if you catch my drift wink wink (source: it was revealed to me in a dream)

Ahh, welcome to this wonderful ship! <3 Honestly more people should ship these two lol so any new shipper is always good news.

BUT OH GOD PEOPLE KEEP HAVING THE BEST DREAMS LOL Your brain literally went “do we ship LiliSil? Take a wild guess, here is a hint”..

It’s completely right though, Lilia has taught Silver everything he needs to know to have fun both by himself and with someone else~

Anonymous asked:

do either of you have a yuu/twst oc?

Not really, we aren’t that into yuus and stuff.

Anonymous asked:

Opinions on Kalim x Vil?

I loved that scene where Vil demonstrated a proper skin care routine on Kalim’s silly face lol it was fun.

Don’t have a lot of thoughts about them as a ship though, maybe it’s because we haven’t seen the events in which they interacted more.

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Me and my Tumblr fans have brought the life of something: Kalim Harem. Everyone is dating and sleeping with Kalim.

So here's the thing I can't help but focus on: Orgies

Like SO MANY ORGIES MY DUDE!!

I'm talking a fucking CHORE CHART WHEEL for those who are boning with him throughout the week until Orgy Date and something about Kalim just casually mentions the date in public is so fucking funny to me!

I feel like the first few times it was awkward for everyone to look at each other but soon it led to the others in the poly to bone each other without Kalim

So my question to you is; Thoughts of dorm orgies? I just get the vibe everyone's TOO CLOSE and the staff either doesn't know or know just refuse to say anything

Alright, it took me waaaaay too long to reply to this one, sorry for the wait!!

Yours and your fans ideas are quite creative as always lol And honestly you never know with Kalim. He seems so unassuming and innocent one moment, but he’s also full of surprises. He could be quite horny, and boy oh boy what a surprise it would be to the Scarabia students lol

(I’m saying it as someone who drew a comic of Kalim NOT fucking his harem because he’d rather sing and dance with them…)

Out of all the dorms, I feel like Scarabia is the most likely to have this type of ehh ARRANGEMENT. Other than that, Savanaclaw might do this type of stuff too lol

Oh and the staff won’t do anything about it anyways, Crowley is going to act like it’s not happening or it’s some kind of bonding moment for the guys lol

#replies

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rimeiii · 9 months

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WHB Prologue Speculations!

Now that I had the time to actually go through and watch the entire PV in its entirety properly (OP is sitting here with a cough, air quality in her country is so bad lately everyone is getting sick), the theorycrafting part of my brain is on overdrive mode so. I'm just going to ramble. And speculate. Mostly about Minhyeok. Because Minhyeok is amazing I love him holyshit.

Also I wanted to try out S3M3 Chongyue ASMR but he's still getting the final mastery level, so I let the brainworms win out. Maybe I did a little silly and did a character analysis regarding MC + Minhyeok and their potential trauma responses too, idk.

Without further ado...

(Spoilers for the prologue video, proceed with caution!)

1. MC and Minhyeok's trauma responses

I feel like the trauma regarding MC seeing their parents dead in front of them when they got home from school back when they were young is going to crop up eventually. Based on their reluctance to step foot in their house, it's likely they never worked through their trauma properly.

There is an active repression of memories here. The mind, deeming the memory dangerous and mind-breaking if it is to be remembered in its entirety, forcefully pushes it down from MC's conscious memory into their unconscious mind as a self-defense mechanism. Sure, they may not recall it now, but it lies in wait in their unconscious mind as it silently affects MC's behaviours and thought processes.

It will crop up eventually, I think. In what way, however, we may not know. Perhaps MC's reliance on Minhyeok is a subconscious decision to allow themself to be vulnerable and let someone take care of them. Perhaps MC now has a fear of loss, which manifests in their impulsive decision to make a deal with Satan to save Minhyeok, the only person they have left. The association between their house and their parents' deaths is still strong, which plays a part in them not wanting to stay there for long.

As an aside, the MC I'm making as my OCsona for this game is going HARD into this aspect specifically, might share her bio eventually on this blog. After I finish working on my Docsona bio that is aha-

And honestly, I do think he suffers from trauma from the incident, at least a little bit. Not to the extent of MC, whose mind repressed those memories to protect themself, but still a significant amount. He can still function in day-to-day life relatively well, and perhaps his tendency to care and protect MC is due to the fact he doesn't want to see her suffer/sad. MC already has a lot on their plate, no need for anything more.

Their attitudes towards each other can be interpreted to be a reflection of how their trauma affects them. MC acts more or less nonchalant about Minhyeok and his expressions of care at the beginning - it may be because they were watching adult videos when he talked to her, but at the same time it may be because they're already so used to having Minhyeok nag at her it became annoying. Or, they keep him at arm's length despite caring for him, because the trauma of losing their parents makes them hesitant to let him in.

And Minhyeok, who perhaps saw MC becoming distant as something worrying, took it upon himself to make sure they are taken care of. Because he loves them, cherishes them, and doesn't want to lose them to what he assumed was despair. Perhaps, he desperately wants MC to open up to him, and his love for MC makes him willing to wait however long it takes for them to do so. And until then, he'll remain loyal by their side.

As for who killed MC's parents, I'd like to think it's an angel. If MC is a descendant of Solomon, then it would make sense that one of their parents is also a descendant of Solomon, right? And the angels have been killing Solomon's descendants left and right - it's just that they've managed to frame these killings as accidents.

(I should make a oneshot for this.)

Which leads us to...

2. Who is the figure in front of MC in the flashback?

I'm pretty sure it's Minhyeok.

Ever heard of Chekhov's gun? It's basically a concept related to conservation of detail. Specifically, if a detail is mentioned in the storyline, then more often than not it has storyline relevance.

The figure who stepped in front of MC, the mention of a soapy smell intermingling with the scent of blood. And guess who's described to have a smell like soap?

That's right. Minhyeok.

Assuming the figure was Minhyeok, what was he doing that day? The most logical answer, assuming human Minhyeok, is that he was walking with MC back home from school to drop them off, when they came across that gruesome scene. Minhyeok's protective instincts kick in as he shields MC's eyes.

3. And about Minhyeok...

Minhyeok, who slides in front of MC to shield their eyes from the carnage that was their parents' death. Minhyeok, who continues to take care of MC after everything. Minhyeok, who cherishes MC so much from childhood, with a childhood promise of marriage.

Minhyeok, who dies protecting MC from harm, who seems to just know MC is in danger, who so readily sacrifices himself for the MC.

He may be MC's childhood friend, but as it stands, he as a character is still shrouded in mystery to us, the player. As many others have pointed out, his character archetype is MC's protector. He shields them from the trauma, protects her from harm, and takes care of her.

The fact he just stormed into his room to protect MC without hesitation. Was he warned of the danger MC is going to be in? How is his devotion to the MC so strong he's willing to risk his life for them? His love for MC is just that strong, is probably the main reason.

Or perhaps...he isn't completely human after all. Which sets up for angst potential, honestly. But that's speculation for another day.

4. About Minhyeok's story...

We see signs of his revival as Satan whisks MC to Hell, with how Minhyeok's body 'flinches' a little bit. So, it's safe to assume that MC's wish is granted immediately - as Satan had said. Demons don't lie, after all (but I imagine they can perform omissions of truth all the same, so don't trust everything a demon says).

As for what happens to him after the revival, the EN translation is a little bit finicky, but with my (VERY) limited CN/JP knowledge I assume that Minhyeok will wake up at the place right before he went back to his room, without any memory of what had transpired mere moments earlier. So, for all he knows, he was supposed to meet MC back at his room but finds them missing from his room. Assuming time flow on Earth and in Hell is the same, I'd imagine he'd start looking for them.

And that might be what the game meant by Minhyeok's story - what's going on back in the human world on his side specifically.

Without the memory of him protecting MC, it would be hard. I'd imagine the angels or demons getting into contact with him first, and promising to get him over to her. Which is how a Minhyeok romance would likely start...I don't know, though. Pure speculation on my part.

also satan's voice kinda reminds me of sesa from arknights help me

#what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad #whb #whb speculation #rimei rambles #this is so scuffed #whb minhyeok

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mcclainwilla · 5 months

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Writing Fight Scenes Part 8 - Illegal Strikes

Sorry this took a while to get out, school has been kicking my ass (but what's new) and I couldn't think of a topic to tackle, until I had a vision in my grocery store parking lot. Up until this point, I've been talking about 'honorable' martial arts/fighting techniques. But what happens if your character is just a cunt?

I'm going to talk about types of illegal hits (learned from my time in martial arts/watching UFC fighting, not from my own exploits) and when/why your character would ever want to do such a sucky thing

TW: injury mention, death mention, brief eye horror mention.

Please tread carefully if you're sensitive to violence! I fully anticipate having a personal case of the heebie jeebies by the time I'm done writing this post

Types of Illegal Hits

When I was still actively practicing martial arts, my instructor would sing (to the tune of 'head, shoulders, knees and toes') "eyes, ears nose throat and groin, throat and groin" which, honestly, is most of what you need to know. But I'm going to expand on that a little bit

Back of the head

Specifically, the junction between your character's spine and your neck. If you poke around, you'll find a little divot there. That is where the brain stem is, which connects the spinal cord to the rest of the brain. As opposed to the rest of the head, especially the forehead/frontal bone, the back of the head is kinda squishy/not well-protected by the skull. This is a magnificent design flaw, because the brain stem controls most involuntary vital functions like breathing and heart rate, which means that a hit to the back of the head could send a character to meet their maker

Throat

Throat strikes can also be life-threatening because, as you might've guessed, it will impact a character's breathing (or, in the worst cases, the neck bones). The larynx is at the top of the throat column, whereas the trachea is at the bottom. Ultimately, the terminology doesn't matter too much, because both are very bad places for your character to be hit. The suprasternal notch, which is the divot between the collarbones, at the very base of the neck, is not a fun place to be hit, but it won't kill your character (Rio, one of my characters, motherfucker unlimited, hits one of his classmates here and nearly gets suspended)

Eyes

Explains itself. A character would probably want to use their thumbs

Ears

There are a couple here. Right behind the ears/corners of the jaw are some particularly nasty soft spots. I used to think it was the eustachian tubes, but I could be wrong, maybe it's actually the lymph nodes, or something else entirely. Either way, I was once hit here with an oven mitt that was tossed at my face, and it brought me to the ground

Also, there's something called a 'thunderclap' which is basically a character clapping their palms over an opponent's ears (less of a cupping/holding motion and more of a simultaneous smack). The sudden change in pressure will rupture their opponent's eardrums, which 1. Hurts like a bitch and 2. Will at least temporarily deafen them

Knees

This one is kinda tricky because some strikes aimed at the knees are okay (kicking out the backs of the knees isn't fun, but it won't ruin a character's year), and some are not. It's not cool to aim at the front and top of the knee, because that's how dislocations happen. Your character ought to stomp, rather than kick - gravity gives some assistance and even if the opponent bends their knee in preparation, it still has a good chance of breaking

Why would a character throw illegal hits?

Because, clearly, they can be pretty devastating. I'm not going to tell you that a character can't throw these kinds of hits during a sparring match, but they really shouldn't, unless you're trying to prove that they are a bitch (like my kid, Rio). That's because friendly/instructional sparring matches are defined by a sense of mutual respect and good sportsmanship - the goal is to improve the skills of one or both parties, not to maim. But, on the other hand, it could be a pretty powerful characterization moment if a character gets worked up and smashes their sparring partner's knee in. Any character who disregards combat etiquette, whether intentionally or impulsively, is bound to build a reputation for themselves both within the narrative and among the fandom

Primarily, however, these underhanded hits are best utilized in a self-defense scenario, especially when your character is otherwise at a steep physical disadvantage (shorter/lighter/weaker/etc.) It's also okay to pull these out during a serious, but more evenly-matched, fight between two characters. Just, again, remember that it's really not nice, and that the victim character would probably be well within their rights to seek revenge at the next available opportunity

#writing #writing advice #fight scene #wip #wip stuff #martial arts #willa mcclain #sorry this is so gross #tw injury #tw death #tw eye horror

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artemisofmars · 1 month

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I think-

I think I'm having an epiphany about any I seem to be systematically denying myself the right to do what I really want to do.

Ending up in me just sitting around doing nothing.

Throughout my formative years in school, I was outperforming the rest of the class; I would finish all the math problems that were assigned for the lesson within the first 10-15 minutes. This would leave (some) of my teachers stumped about what to do with me. So I ended up just sitting around doing idle work (like reading a book) until the rest of the class caught up.

And the thing I really wanted to do, acting, was confined to specific times, not just during the week but only once a year, if that was part of that year's curriculum. So I'd be waiting the rest of the year until I got the permission to finally do what my heart wanted most.

In high school I finally seized the opportunity and I had 3 beautiful years of feeling like I was actually becoming myself. I even thought of going to Drama School instead of University. But even there, I denied myself, because "it's not what I'm supposed to do". "I'm so good at science, everyone will expect me to be a great scientist, not waste their time being an actress".

I went through college denying myself there too, even though theater was available as an extracurricular, telling myself "no, Enrica, nobody gave you permission to do that, you have to do your coursework first".

I am not allowed to give myself permission to do these things. I will know when the world wants me to participate in these activities. Until such time, I must focus on the work that is expected of me.

Now I am finally in a position where I should be in charge of my life and happiness,

But I never unlearned this need for permission.

So I just sit here, do idle busywork, until someone gives me permission to take part and act in their thing. I haven't even been able to get myself to join any of the local theater troupes, which would be so easy!

How do I unlearn something that has been so hard-coded into my brain? How do I allow myself to do what I really want, and not wait for someone to place their expectations on me, so I may fulfill those?

#well at least I have come to this understanding #but I'm really stumped as to how to learn to give myself permission #personal

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spoiledleaff · 9 months

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I'm sorry if I sound stupid, but why is your main goal to end up homeless...?

aii!! no, no, love, you’re not stupid at all! that was a massive fucking error on my part :’) sometimes, i swear, my brain thinks of sentences and words so quickly that my poor little fingers will skip words just to try and keep up QwQ i swear, i try to proofread my own stuff, haha! but, you know, when your brain is the one that came up with the sentences, especially when it’s something so small and quick, i have a much harder time trying to spot discrepancies :’D

but, no, i’m not actively working towards becoming homeless, my friend :’)

a bit of backstory — since i’m comfortable sharing this, but feel free to skip over this last paragraph! :D — is that my parents had found out that i was taking testosterone due to something completely out of my control, and even though i tried to come up with some bullshit deflection, they suspect that my personal opinions on lgbtqia+ matters has become ‘brainwashed’— you know how the story goes. so, they gave me a deadline for when i need to be out of the house. at first it was my birthday, but i managed to convince them to extend the deadline because i was traveling to visit my brother and there was literally no housing available or willing to take me. so, i managed to get the deadline extended to the end of the first week in august. otherwise, i would have to find a friend to stay with because if i ‘couldn’t leave the nest sooner, they fear i’d become to attached to my childhood home and try to attend my schools with a long distance drive’ or— just something very silly like that. i was so mad and kind of scared, i don’t actually remember specifics, haha.

so… yeah! i promise i’m not insensitive enough to be working towards something as detrimental as homelessness. i’ve been trying to avoid that throughout the summer. and… my deadline’s coming up, but i’m actively going through a lease with an agent as we speak, so hopefully i’ll be out of the house before my parents can kick me out, haha! :’)

i hope this helps clear stuff up, love! basically. i can’t type, haha!! :’D

#I fixed the fucking post lol #oh my god i can’t believe out of all the fucking words i skipped over?#IT WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE AHHHHHH #ooc leaf

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ashleywool · 2 months

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Why are people mad about the NYPD having a dance team?

I just can't quite fathom why, of all the legitimate things one could criticize the NYPD for, people are focusing their anger on the dance team.

And not only that, but it's an anger that transcends political views and opinions of the police--although the opinions behind this anger might come from different places, all of them are ridiculous.

Opinion #1: There's crime happening all over our city, police officers have no right to be dancing instead of fighting crime.

Ok. Let's assume that, while they are on duty, every NYPD officer is always putting forth their best effort to fight crime and equitably enact justice on behalf of every NYC citizen. (Which...I mean...*gestures broadly*...but humor me for a second.)

What do you expect them to do when they aren't on duty? Has it occurred to you that not every police officer is on duty all the time? Has it occurred to you that they're human beings whose brains and bodies--just like everyone else's brains and bodies--are incapable of doing their jobs 24/7 even if they wanted to? Aren't they entitled to have lives outside of their job just like the rest of us? Aren't they entitled to have relationships with their coworkers that don't have to involve extremely high-stakes life-and-death situations?

Opinion #2: The dancers aren't even that good.

And? Why do they need to be any good? They're not doing it professionally, they're doing it for fun. It's called having a hobby. Remember those? Hobbies? You know, those things that almost everyone had before the economy collapsed and it became normal and expected for us to abandon every activity we enjoyed unless we could find a way to monetize it?

Opinion #3: It's bad enough that my tax dollars are supporting a corrupt police state without having to also fund their dance team.

Regardless of how we feel about the system of police in general (which...*gestures broadly*...we have feelings), we need to understand that our tax dollars are not being used to fund the things that police officers do when they're off-duty. Sure, one could argue that as public servants, their salaries (and by extension our tax dollars) fund everything they do, but the same is true for firefighters, sanitation workers, public school teachers, public park maintenance staff, etc. Just because they (are supposed to) work in service to the public doesn't mean we have the right to legislate their entire lives, even if we don't like them or their jobs.

And even if our tax dollars did directly fund the NYPD dance team...is that really a bad thing?

The way I see it, if my tax dollars are going to be funding a gigantic police budget no matter how I feel about it, that police force had BETTER have a dance team.

In fact, I would prefer for my tax dollars to specifically fund the NYPD dance team. I would like to see them make the dance team an official and mandatory part of police duty. Nobody graduates from the academy without learning the Hot Honey Rag and performing it live on the Times Square Jumbo-Tron.

While we're at it, let's also fund an NYPD chamber choir, an NYPD jazz band, an NYPD improv troupe. Let's fund a whole Broadway musical with an NYPD cast, crew, orchestra, and theatre staff.

You know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? Let's allocate the ENTIRE NYPD budget to the arts.

Or just...just fund the arts.

I think...I think that's where I was going with this.

Probably could've just led with that.

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the-beskar-alchemist · 1 year

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Episode 2 thoughts

Here we go with more of my ramblings!

(Also just a reminder, I’m including game canon information so heads up if you need to bypass this post to avoid spoilers)

Thoughts below the cut....

It appears they’re making Indonesia “Ground Zero”, I don’t know if this is a result of Indonesia having a surge of fungal infections within the last few years, or if their environment would be considered potentially hospitable for the cordyceps. There’s also the fact that in-game the cordyceps seemingly started in the U.S. before spreading worldwide.

I’m not quite understanding the physiology behind the mouth tentacles thing, but I’ve seen enough hentai that it’s creepy either way

There’s a running theme of butterflies surrounding the girls (Sarah and Ellie)

Ellie’s sarcasm is on-point again, Bella really did bring our precious babygirl to life on a level that makes me so happy

I have to wonder about Pedro having to do things like move furniture, considering his poor back

So not anything significant, but I really appreciate that the leaning building from the game was incorporated into the background shot. A little sad that they didn’t show them going through that building like in the game, but I guess it would’ve been an issue of set design costs/extra film time.

Ellie actively avoiding mentioning Riley (“Matter of fact, let’s just keep our histories to ourselves” ~ Joel in the game), so that figures

Okay they moved up the hotel scene where Ellie pretends to be checking in, originally this took place in Pittsburgh at a later point in the summer, not Boston. And it was AFTER the thing with Tess.

Joel and Ellie’s awkward conversation-turned-moment of bonding, and her asking about Joel/Tess? Joel shot that shit down so quick lol

So they’re basically saying that the infected only last for 2-months, but they’re still some that last for years. This sounds like the infection not only deteriorates the brain but maybe the body temperature is so high for so long that the body eventually burns out….?

The infected have a connection, kind of like the hive-mind situation in Stranger Things. In-game the infected would just spawn out of nowhere even if an area looks clear (it’s a game so that’s a normal thing), it seems that this was their way of bridging the gap of how a clear spot would suddenly become overrun. Games like TLOU and Left 4 Dead had what they call “event doors”, or pathways that when taken would suddenly trigger hordes

Clickers!!!! But seriously they did a good job with the acting during this scene, I’m wondering if they did a “zombie school” type thing, kind of like TWD.

“You can’t deny that view” - so glad they kept this, it’s such an important moment for Ellie because of [redacted]

So Tess name-dropping Frank is interesting, unless in-game Tess knew about Frank and just didn’t tell Joel (HIGHLY unlikely), because in-game Joel doesn’t even know Frank exists, let alone have any contact with him specifically

Annie Wersching does a really good job of capturing Tess’ nuances, and the part where she’s foreshadowing her infection by acting defensive? Love it

Tess/Joel’s relationship being kind of one-sided isn’t much of a surprise. I’d imagine Joel prefers not to get romantically close to people because of past trauma

So the hive-mind connections trigger a horde, forcing Tess to sacrifice herself. In the game the military shows up and she holds them off while Joel/Ellie escape through the capitol building. To me the horde makes more sense because I never quite understood why the military suddenly went on a field trip outside of the QZ to coordinate an attack on a couple runaways when they could easily have left them to their fate with the infected and not waste time/supplies (same thing applies if they were going after the Fireflies outside of the QZ)

I’m enjoying the unfocused camera shots of the infected, it helps to leave some things to the imagination and makes it more scary/intense

The mouth-tentacles “kiss of death” thing is weird. It’s like the infected are coherent enough to want to actively spread the infection instead of just eating people. I’m also getting the impression that, kind of like in World War Z, they can sense when someone else is infected.

Definitely enjoyed this episode, the acting was really good and the story is moving a bit faster now. Still a lot of ground to cover because of [redacted]

Endure and survive!

#tlou #tlou spoilers #the last of us #the last of us series #pedro pascal #joel miller #ellie williams #bella ramsey #tess servopoulos #anna torv

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the---hermit · 1 year

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Hello! I just want to let you know I love your blog! As a university student I find it really motivating especially when it comes to productivity and self care 💗.

I wanted to ask how do you manage your time effectively when it comes to university work and relaxation time?

Hello! Thank you so much!! <33

It's a pretty challenging thing, and I will be honest with you I am still learning how to balance studying and taking time for myself. Especially now that I have started to commute to uni again to go to class, it's proving to be a constant challenge, because I have to change my routines way more often than I'd like. In general I am pretty aware of the moments of the day in which I am more energetic so I try to make to most out of them. I am much more active in the mornings, I don't mind waking up a little earlier it that means I will get more done in the morning and I will be able to stop studying a little earlier. Of course if I have classes I have to work around that, but in general what I try to do is to concentrate more studying hours whan I know I will be more productive. I also plan tasks that will take more mental effort and energy in those hours, and leave the easier tasks for when I know for a fact I will be a little more tired. I also have a no studying after meals rule. For me eating means taking a break, so after lunch I usually take one hour or one hour an a half just for myself, I'll either read or do anything I feel like to relax and just rest. And at night after eating my dinner I refuse to study. I have had this thing ever since I was in high school, after dinner it's my rest time of the day, I go to bed pretty early and I want to enjoy doing nothing before that. Some people study very well at night and I am not one of those people.

Another thing that helps me a lot with managing my time is to set very clear goals. My brain works much better on a weekly scale so it's what I mostly focus on, but I also try to have at least a general idea of my monthly goals. The way I do this is to have a specific monthly page on my bullet journal in which I write down all the studying materials I have to work on (let's say I have to read a book, I write down the page count of the book and the pages of each chapter so that I have a general view of how much I actually have to do). Each week I try to figure out what my priority of the week are and then I focus on that alone. I divide it up in the days according to what I don't have other things to do, and to when I know I will be more focused for a specific task. Generally I do a mid-week check in, in case I have studied more/less than planned. Focusing on one thing at the time has been helping me mentally because I feel less overwhelmed by everything I have to do. (there's a lot I could say about my planning method for uni and I might write a specific post if that's of any interest, I also have this pretty old post on some planning tips in case that can be helpful).

I cannot stress enough how important it is to schedule your rest/relax time in your planning system. I for example decided that I will not be studying on Sundays anymore, and that on Saturdays I am allowed to take more time in the morning whether I want to sleep a bit more or simply take more time to get ready and all. I genuinely write this stuff down in my planner. I have slots of time planned for not studying and not working. My body needs rest and I need time to do other stuff that is not studying and working, and as any other task I make an effort to fit it in my schedule. I know we are pushed into thinking that we should always be working, at the cost of our resting time, but in my self care journay I am learning to give space to what I need to do for myself without feeling guilty about. I know a certain period will be stressful? Well after that I treat myself with one day off, or an activity that I enjoy. During the day as I said I have specific moments in which I just do not study, and it's now become part of my routine to rest.

So to conclude this the most important things for me are:

a clear plan that includes goals and breaks/ time off to rest

figuring out how you work (when you are more focused and energetic and when you feel like you can take breaks and rest)

fequents check-ins to see how much work I have done/how much is left to do (pro tip: if by the end of the week you have already accomplished your weekly goals, instead of pushing yourself to do more consider rewarding yourself with more time off. Treat yourself and do not burn yourself out)

Okay I gave you a super long answer that I am not even sure is super clear (I have not reread it after writing so I apologize if I sound insane). Again if you need anything else my inbox is always open, I am always happy to help even if it's just sharing how I plan my studying and so on. Good luck with your studies and I hope you'll find a good balance between studying and taking time for yourself.

#as i said i wrote this without editing so eheheh it might be a mess but i trust you'll get what i mean even if there's probably typos #and questionable sentences #it's the end of the day kids i want to help but my brain can't do much more than this so i hope it's enough #cris speaks #ask #asked #asks #answered #balancing studying and rest #study tips #uniblr #studyblr #mine #the---hermit

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flockofdoves · 5 months

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whenever i try to figure out stuff about my specific form of stuttering (and im super interested in connecting my own vague theories about it to stuff other people have said after taking a psycholinguistics class this semester) i feel crazy because like no medical description of types of stuttering i ever see online match my experiences with it even though i feel like whatever is happening with my stuttering feels like it should be a relatively normal issue to happen to some people

like its not really that bad anymore im not looking for treatment for it but i just want to hear about other peoples experiences with similar and also be able to potentially understand whats happening in my body whenever it happens and its just so surprising to me how little i find whenever i look

but yeah. so curious if anyone else can relate to this or has thoughts or anything. trying to summarize my experiences:

started right around puberty when i was 11

it never was all the time just like random days or hours would be worse all of a sudden

mostly trouble with repeating the start of words or elongating the first vowel, makes getting whole sentences out really arduous

went away some time in early high school for the most part, but then randomly reemerged my sophomore year of college

for a while i theorized it just had to do with low blood pressure or low blood sugar from my eating disorder, because it turned out that when it reemerged that was when the worst of my ED started, but i'm well into recovery now and while stuttering can be a sign that i havent eaten enough in a while, and i certainly was stuttering worse at the worst of my ed, i still stutter at many times when i know i have eaten consistently and enough for a while

also feels like sometimes it can correlate with stress or exhaustion, but while of course i cant be sure i'm always recognizing when i'm stressed (having issues with dissociation and fibromyalgia feels relevant to that) it at least doesn't feel in the moment like thats always the case when i start stuttering, and sometimes feels pretty random

it feels like a specific form of brain fog distinct from other forms of brain fog i also experience in that its very actively irritating as if parts of my brain are turning off and on(?? not really accurate but idk how to describe it)

i also have had times of my life where i have had that same feeling while developing body jerks and facial tics (maybe also hand tremors but i think those felt more directly related to what i've later recognized as low blood sugar from my eating disorder)

i also theorized before that those facial tic episodes could have to do with tardive dyskinesia (had really really bad reactions to risperidone and abilify and was on each of them for years, and abilify side effects sometimes felt sorta similar, and my facial tics/tremors etc arent nearly as prominent now that its been years since i last was on those meds) but that doesnt really make sense to me when it feels so similar to my stutter and the stutter started before i ever was on any psychiatric medication

i tend to stutter or have those tics a lot more prominently around people i am comfortable with. sometimes while stuttering/etc it feels like if i really really tried hard and put a lot of energy into it i would be able speak without stuttering even if still a little slow and monotone, but despite the frustration that comes with not being able to fully express what i mean quickly, it still doesnt feel worth it to put in that effort unless i need to perform for strangers (wording it like this is a lot more intellectualized and makes it sound a lot more like an active choice, while in the moment its kind of all just vague instinctual feelings)

honestly i have no idea if any of the stuttering or facial tic stuff do or dont relate at all to other behaviors i exhibit like some of ocd compulsions that are less elaborated and more just 'i wouldn't feel right if i dont touch this in this specific way right now' / my habits of picking up on a random weird exclamation that i subconsciously vocalize whenever i think of something stressful and am in a comfortable environment / my issues with body focused repetitive behavior (especially dermatillomania)

idk!! brains are just interesting im just curious what other peoples thoughts are..

like i guess looking at lists of types of stuttering it could make sense to guess this is psychogenic stuttering but its just like crazy how nonspecific any talk of it has been. ive become kinda interested in neurolinguistics which obviously is still so so full of uncertainties and biases as a field but theres at least some physiological backing for the things it talks about so its just so disappointing when topics that i wish were more explored by it are instead just stuff im finding information about from a psychiatric framework..

#cpost

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give-soup-please · 2 years

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Is there a way we'll be able to keep updated on how you are after the blog closes? I've seen things like this happen before and I always wonder if the person that ran the blog is happy or even ok! If you want to leave it at this that is also fine. Either way, safe travels and a happy life to you.

(warning, long personal post ahead)

(I'm sorry. You probably wanted a simple answer, but I don't have one.)

I've had this in my inbox for a while, and I still don't have an answer, despite the fact that we've got less than a week to go. I'm honestly feeling very conflicted about what to do next. A lot of my wants and needs are clashing, and I don't know what to do. I want to keep in contact with people I've made as friends, I really do. There are definitely some users who come into my notes and make me happy to see. I love chatting with people in this format, and people actually care about what I have to say. It's remarkable.

I need a break from writing and social media. I started getting caught up in obsessing over notes and follower count, which ugh- There are so many other ways I could use my time. I need to write for myself again, but posting about myself and my snippets feels like crafting something for an audience.

I've been debating a few different things. I have a PO box now, if someone wants to send me something. I'm debating whether to make it public so everyone can join the fun, or to DM it just to the people who specifically asked for it. I don't know how connected I want to be to other people right now. I'm debating creating a second blog as a personal one, and leaving this one as an archive. I want to digitally hang out with people, but I'm a naturally anxious person and hanging out with people stresses me out.

The narrator is still in my head, and I have so many ideas that I want to explore with him. Not as headcanons, not as requests, but longer fic ideas. A friend and I were chatting about this earlier. I want to do a longfic slow burn about the narrator coming to our world and getting a chance to explore. This would be slow character development and have him go from his gameself to his more mellow and kind version that I created. Something long and fulfilling, more than 50K words if I could manage it. And that's just one idea of about five that I have. He has so much potential as a character. There are so many aspects of him that I'd love to play with.

There's so much I still want to do. I want to stay connected to you guys, but only if I can find a way that's healthy for me. Don't even get me started on the issues that come with being a full time student at a university. Competition is tough here. I'm already tired from the move in, and I've gotta be mostly recovered by the time school starts or else my grades are going to suck. Something far worse could happen if I'm not gentle with myself. And I have personal issues that I don't talk about often. I don't want the sight of my personal stuff to be a stressor for anyone. There are a few people who I used to follow, who constantly posted about their problems and their mental health, and I couldn't find a way to detach from them except to unfollow.

There's an active and angry part of my brain that wants to purposely self sabotage and burn out in my first quarter, because I really don't want to be in college at all. But there's nowhere else for me to go. Housing and food are covered for me due to scholarships and a hell of a lot of luck.

I don't like myself very much, for a variety of reasons. Resisting this part of my brain that wants to destroy myself is taking a huge amount of concentration and willpower. There's a reason that when I write personal stuff, it's always characters telling me that I deserve good things. "A story is not always for the listener, sometimes it's for the one who tells it." (paraphrased, welcome to night vale)

I usually keep my political beliefs out of my blog, but I so wish we had some sort of help for people who don't want to follow a preset career path. Universal income, or something similar. If I had the ability to have housing and food taken care of, I'd keep writing all the time. If there wasn't so much stress and pressure to be a student, to be productive, I'd be so much happier.

I guess I'm asking the crowd for advice. I don't want to leave, but I can't seem to stay either. That's the thing, I've always wanted segmented, clean breaks. But life is complicated, and my emotions keep getting in the way.

Many of you are very sweet, and I couldn't keep myself detached forever. You all collectively wore me down, and got access to my heart.

I can't tell if it's rude or charming that you guys got to me. (half-joke)

And the narrator- Don't get me started (or do, my inbox is still open) on this guy. If he was real, I'd be shaking him by the shoulders in frustration. I accidentally made him too real in my head, and now he's a constant companion. I'm working on getting my computer repaired so I can play the demo, which I haven't yet. It involves a three hour round trip to get the components fixed. I could watch a video, but I'd rather play the game myself so there's less of a barrier between us. There are no other characters I would go to these lengths for. I love him so much, and I want to write dialogue for him until the stars burn out. To put it another way-

The absolute bastard. If I ever find a way to crossover to his place, I'm going to have strong words with him because he had no right to capture my heart like this. He didn't even have to try. I'm furious about it. (but not really)

Hey, we got way off track in this ramble. Call that narrator-core.

#personal #not tsp related

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butididnottried · 10 months

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Of Billy antis and, apparantely, their, i guess, apprecation for Neil, more or less <3

Am gonna be “whiny” because why not Neil, whyyy never Neeeil, it’s fucking never fucking Neil, FUCK. HIM. All of my homies hate Neil.

So, this post, this fucking post, that was made, like, two days ago? Because of reason this one specific post snapped something in my brain. I don’t even know why, it’s typical anti post, with typical “oh how irremediable monster Billy is” arguments. Nothing new. Ok, the new thing is that op removed this post and apologized. Like, that’s nice and all, but also ??? People usually don’t behave like that, good for you op for handling that properly and nicely.

(I already wrote some of this post and it’s longer than i expected, so, under the cut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Funny thing is, that i started following fandom some time after season 4, because of how steddie flooded everything, and it was really nice, seriously, jut a bunch of fans cooing over their new blorbo. In a few weeks i learned very much about ST and it’s characters only from fandom (not valid very bad way of doing that, misinformation and bad takes and interpretations up to the roof xD), but from perspective of time i can recognize how weirdly selective that knowledge was, because, holy shit, from what i saw while there was no hate towards Billy, his existence was fully ignored. It took me over a month of reading fanfics before i came up to one with Billy in it (evil, very evil, because steddie need to happen somehow), and despite reading many fics with Max in them, i had absolutely no idea who the guy was. Like, the heck? Just some background bully character? With absolutely no connections to this disabled, kinda bitchy poor girl? Or fully abled, happy and with no worries bitchy girl. Depressed in canon? No sir, we don’t know her. Just superior characterization. :/

I don’t remember how i stumble to the Billy side of fandom, but wow, that was fast. While steddie side was - still then - nice nad fluffy and mostly with no real worries, Billy stans had the real, fat meat with thick gravy, and guys, my dudes, the most smartest girlies, you we’re and still are, taking this apart - child and domestic abuse, homophobia, racism, classism, repression, masculinity, objectification, parentification, disability, mental illnesess, ableism, prejudicions, writing of the show, themes, cinematography, all that stuff, just, mmm, delicioso *chefs kiss* And this is also how i learned about Billys antis, i saw how they behave and talk, how hateful they are and how steddies grew just to be most awful, sadly making ST fandom almost as bad as Star Wars fandom, if not at the same level. But. But i’m not active in the fandom, i’m one of these fans that are just stalking, watching, reading, reblogging. No, i never had to handle antis myself. (Like, it’s my third post about ST and in previous two i was just making fun of it xD) And yet i know how many, many of them are full of hate, almost deliberate ignorance and just horrible views. Listen, if somebody is harshly and negatively criticising the supernatural/fantasy side of a show, ok, we can talk and exchange opinions, because these parts of plot are not real, usually have no equivalent in real world, even if they can be metaphors for real problems, most times we don’t need to be so serious about these. But if someone says that abused character that is not, how to put it, not behaving nice about their abuse, deserve only to suffer and die, then big yikes on a red flag, because for 99,9% that’s also their opinion on real people. And like, i never was abused. My dad, while more or less neglectful, was against hitting kids, and in school, while bullied, i never was beaten up or in a real fight (but, yo, my good people, it was because i was radioactive back then so no close contact, why not), and still, i can have empathy, sympathy and fucking compassion for Billy. Just like i had it in elementary school after learning that one of my bullies was beating by his parents. We didn’t become friends or anything like that, but. It’s not that hard, to have some basic understanding.

Sooo, it feels like this is kinda too long already and not very necessary, but i just wanted you to know my, eeeh... where do i stand in fandom, my position towards it? Because it’s different, how i’m just silently hoovering above, and how you all are in this all, dealing with antis even for years, since season 2, and most probably many of you already had conversations about this, but in this almost a year i’m here i didn’t saw mentions of that thing. Maybe it was just talked to death and left behind. Because, honestly, i’m not a smart person, kinda of a dumbass even, and in no way i’m first to notice that. That thing, with antis, that i started this post with. Get back to the ponit, which is...

FUCKING NEIL.

Those two lines in post i mentioned, about “Runaway Max”.

“anyway, the amount of pure hatred i feel for billy hargrove just keeps intensifying with every chapter i read.“

“according to max, him and neil “have a lot of opinions about anyone who isn’t white and Lutheran and a man (128).“

Pure hatred for Billy. But Billy and Neil. Billy AND Neil. Are having these same bigotes views. With emphasis on “these same bigotes views”, because of course, yeah, sure, why not. But there’s no hatred for Neil. Only Billy. Neil is almost non-existent. He’s noticed only when it need to be made very crystal clear that abuse that Billy is going through is absolutely not an excuse for his actions, nuh uh, no sir, there’s a checkmark on this and that’s all, no need to say more abou that one particular man. He is schrodinger abuser - has everything to do with Billys behaviour and absolutely nothing at all. Seriously, Neil is talked about only on Billys side of fandom.

It’s fucking never “during season 2 Billy was just the worst, so violent and agressive, he was a bigot, a sexist, so SOOO so racist, a murderer and rapist and facist and nazi and he was speeding and smoking, drinking alcohol, having sex and throwing slurs left and right all the time, and he was abusing Max literally all the time and was controlling her every move just because he was an asshole and a bitch and dick and, oh the HORRORS, he was pursuing married, middle-aged woman that just simply could not say ‘no’ and cut that teenange bullshit behavior, becuase she’s a delicate and weak woman with no free wil and he’s an toxic man so she needs to do whatever he wants, i’m gonna faint any moment because of how vile and irremediable villain he is. Oh what’s that. His father is the same? Neil is using slurs? Violent towrads his own son? He’s the one making Billy hoovering over Max like a hawk? Is Neil treating Max like that? Is Max safe in her own home? What abou Susan? Oh, oh, Jail for Neil! Jail for Neil for one thousand years! And Billy too, because i hate them BOTH. They’re togehter just the worst. And in season 4, when Max admits that she’s happy that Billy died, and it’s truth and only truth and nothing more and less that just the truthies truth, and she says in her letter that Neil left? Oh, how relieveing that this monster is gone. Maybe Max and her mom are poorer right now and are living in a trailer, but at least they’re finally free of abuse, violence and bigotry.

Ah, no, sorry, it’s actually only about Billy. They just do not hate Neil. Why? Like, i know why, but WHY? I did not read “Runaway Max”, but i know that there’s a few pages long (good fucking god) of very depictive descrpition of how Neil beat the shit out of Billy. Seriously. Not only to the blood, but enough tto Billy having problems with event standing up from the floor. But his grown man hurting and teenanger is not that bad really, only kinda bad, not as much as his victim, we don’t need to focus on mr. Hargrove too much because his role in Max life is apparently not big enough to be in any way important. But i know that from Billy side of fandom, while antis are without any break relieving over and over how Billy cast dead cat on fire (not gonna lie, i personally also would not like that). But also it looks like this book is written in a way that makes Max an very reliabe narrator, that always says the most unbiased and objective truth. Well, at least antis are believing her every word. And yea, books shouldn’t at every step reminding reader that, hey, do not believe that person every word, they’re fucking kid and know almost nothing of world, but - and, eh, i don’t want it to sound like i’m throwing accusation at this book author, i don’t know this person and this is just how it looks from the outside, from opinions and quotes that i saw on both sides. But, it unfortunately looks like this author is more or less Billy anti themself, like they’re sharing and endorsing these same views at abuse. Maybe they don’t care, maybe before writing this book they watched the show once and had very shallow outcomes from it, maybe they weren’t digging deeper into that and wanted just get some fat check for writing a book for a popular franchise. Honestly, valid. But why then be so cruel and careless towards depictions of abuse? Just for shock value? Like Duffers? I guess :/

Anyway, antis. So fucking adamant of how they hate abuse, how it’s bad, how they are so good and right and caring, but the real abuser it out of their picture. It almost looks like they have nothing against him. Oh, Neil is calling Billy slurs, slapping him and humiliating? He can have that, be a violent homophobe as a treat, because i also hate Billy, so Neil is my kind of guy. But also Billy deserve to be called slurs and beaten up, so. Are they the same type of person? Antis and Neil? That’s why they don’t talk about him? Because they’re aware thay they would sound very similar to him? (i coneccted the dots lol) Neil with no doubt is a bigot. And many Billy antis are racist and ableist towards his fans. Victimblaming Billy for what’s happening to him. I’m sooo veRY PREtty sure that Neil do not want to do these things to Billy, but this boy just don’t know how to behave properly, like a real man, with respect and all that other bullshit, yadda yadda.

Maybe instead of stranger-rants bingo cars about bullshit that anits are repeating about Billy we should have this one shrek meme with Lord Farquaad pointing finger and text “child and domestic abuse apologizer”. Because there’s no middle ground on this topic. If in this situation you’re againts Billy, then you’re on Neils side. You’re against any kind of abuse, or you’re just an asshole that is using poor excuses to doom ceartain people to suffering because you don’t like them or they don’t met your very specific and weird (and more or less unethical) morals. God fucking not bless holy shit kurwa mać ja pierdolę. :/

Or, maybe, you we’re a victim yourself and that’s why you hate Billy. But, listen, if you wen’t through hell because someone was hurting you, why you think that there are people that deserve the same? When you know how horrible and scary that is? Did you deserved that? No. Then why someone else should be abused? Because they’re reacting bad to what’s happening to them? They can’t copy in a healthy way? Hey, hey. You know what, sounds like you also can’t copy healty, if you’re harassing strangers, calling them names and use your own abuse as an excuse for how you behave, while be very, agressively firm about how Billys abuse is not an excuse to be a shitty person. Get off internet, get off fandom, really curate your safe space and get away from antis, apply some self care.

#billy hargrove #neil hargrove #runaway max #stranger things #billys antis #child abuse #fandom wank #it took me fours to write that #what the fuck #i should be sleeping #asdfghjkl #gotta take doggo on a walk instead

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dwn024 · 10 months

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so is mantidman part of the megaman universe? whats his deal as a robot master sorry its my first day at mantidman school i hope nobody figures out i dojt know anything about him. and does he have any friends

correct he is in the megaman universe he’s a robot master!^_^ but he and his brothers and my other robot master OCs are mostly disconnected from the plot cuz my favorite type of fandom OC is “kinda just doing their own thing while the canon plot happens in the background”, they always gotta have that looming fear of being kidnapped and reprogrammed by wily for war but until then they gotta do regular chiller slice of life shit at their jobs

mantidman’s primary function is he was built to do pest control at a botanical garden, so like instead of tending to the plants or whatever he is specifically designed to kill any and all harmful or invasive insects with a very precise but VERY deadly laser. he is very good at this and it’s a very good stress relief (it has made him a damn good sniper) but he HAAAAAAAATES his fucking job especially because humans are always coming to the botanical garden on dates and he is a lonely shy hopeless romantic with zero relationship prospects so it makes him super jealous and sad LOL

mantid doesn’t really know anybody besides his brothers the rest of the DGN line, there’s eight of them in total (i need to redraw some of the others it has been FOREVER) and mantid is the second-youngest (or just youngest considering the Youngest youngest has yet to be activated). their creator is only known as doctor G cuz he was kinda absentee and recently disappeared pretty shortly after activating mantid (which of course all the others blame mantid for) so they all just call him doctor guy while they try to recall what his Actual name is. mantid’s brothers are all very uh Hectic the eight of them are all crammed into this tiny little one bedroom apartment/makeshift lab together and barely Any of them get along they are all constantly arguing or butting heads, it is an extremely dysfunctional family dynamic they got and mantid’s always getting the worst of it cuz he’s A) the meekest and B) the easiest target cuz the rest are all kinda pissed about the assumption that mantid made doctor guy vanish and also C) the rest of the DGN line are kind of just assholes in some way shape or form and mantid is the closest to A Nice Quiet One that they have. but this whole environment only lead to mantid’s computer brain psychologically developing very early on into He Literally Just Has Avoidant Personality Disorder Now Whoops he is so scared and on edge all the time Because of being stuck in this tiny house with his mostly shitty brothers. infernoman made him eat a lizard once as a joke

the non-DGN robot master OCs i have though like flamingoman and spiceman i intend to develop in storyline to becoming mantid’s friends because he deserves it^_^ spiceman was originally conceived as literally mantid’s ideal boyfriend and potential love interest, flamingoman is just a cool guy trying to get him to ease up a little

#oc #rmoc

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