#i need to finish the programming project 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[send-me-a-puffalope]

why did my teachers think it was okay to give us like one single weekend to finish all of our midterm projects and study for our tests.

#slight vent #i have 3 projects and 3 tests #i’m halfway through my lit/history project and halfway through my psych project #and maybe a quarter done with my programming project #which is fucking insane btw cause how tf am i supposed to code a whole video game in like 3 days on top of everything else 😭😭😭 #and some things he hasn’t taught us and just thinks that we should just be able to figure out like HELLO???/?/// #I DONT HAVE TIME TO TEACH MYSELF NEW CODE #ITS THE MIDTERM/FINAL FOR THE CLASS?????? #and once the weekend starts i’ll have no one to trouble shoot my stuff and fix my bugs so literally i’ll be hopeless so 😭😭😭 #my calc teacher JUST finished teaching us everything we need for the midterm TODAY. THE MIDTERM IS ON WEDNESDAY. BRO. #my physics teacher doesn’t let us copy down any of our idk test questions or take our old assessments home to study #*old #so we get to look em over for like 20 mins and hand em back. which doesn’t exact fucking help me when i’m studying for the midterm. #WITH NO STUDY GUIDE. #my teachers even said that this years midterms are worse than previous years cause they’re all in a row instead of split by a weekend #we’ve had 2 delayed openings and 1 early dismissal this week which means we have less time to work on our midterm projects in class 😭😭😭😭 #i’m so overwhelmed i’m gonna explode #by the time i finish these projects i’m not gonna have anymore energy/time to study for my tests. WHICH IS THE HARD SHIT BTW.

[pallases]

#ANXIETY!!!! #finished the report (before 1 actually which is i think a new record for me) resume still needs touching up but that’s fine. the real #problem is the program due early friday afternoon and then the other one due monday night neither of which i think i will be able to finish #on time GODD #the one due friday is technically supposed to be a partner project but i have no idea what’s going on there bc our compiler doesn’t allow #you to share files and we don’t have a google doc or anything so ive just been picking at it on my own mostly unsuccessfully. going to text #her tmrw morning to see if she’s made anymore progress on her end bc uh. #then the one due monday i haven’t even started and i know it’s a hellish assignment bc everyone else in my class is struggling w it and mos #of them have been at it for days (i have not been bc band + taking 4 more credits than most of them + theatre stuff etc there’s been no #time 😭 he literally told us not to start it the day before which. i’ll probably be able to start it friday night so not quite that bad but #like. absolutely not good either) #absolutely not looking forward to that. it’s never ending ‼️‼️ and don’t even get me started on auditions friday i don’t think i’ll be able #to practice beforehand… it’s fine #personal #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles

[asteraceaye]

I am so stressed

#I was sick for a week and suddenly I'm so very behind now #it's crazy how when you're sick and you miss days you get behind! it's fucked even! #but I'm super stressing out about my portfolio too because it went from 17 pieces max to 10 #and I'm like :))) #so I'm scrambling #i don't like my portfolio i don't think it's that great #if i had time i would recreate a piece but then we're back to I'm behind already so i don't need to be adding another project #I just want to have my major declared and be entered into the program #but that stresses me out too because you have to retake advanced studios because there's only so many so you can't like #speed run getting your credits so I'm going to be graduating later #but that's a problem for later my problem right now is that my well rounded portfolio showing my strengths shrunk #i gotta focus on my illustrations now #thank god i found a portrait that i did that's pretty (imo) and plays around #solved my problem of having to create another project out of my ass #absolutely just #aster rambles #ALSO!! I HAVE AN OIL PAINTING I NEED TO FINISH TOMORROW #YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I GOT FOR THAT?? NOT MUCH I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE STUDIO HOURS BECAUSE THEY DON'T POST THEM #I'm legit going to sneak in take my canvas and go home #I went into a studio today to work on one of my projects that really should be done and there was a class in place 😭 #mortifying I'm never going into the studio during regular hours again #catch me in there like a gremlin at 3am

[rileyclaw]

Hii! First off i just want to I'm such a big fan of your art and animatics! Your art is just so expressive and unique its addicting to look at 💞💞

I was wondering if you could go over how your process or tutorial in making an animatic? Whenever I try to start to make one, I get jumbled up and end up ditching it lol

I'm sorry if you get this question a lot 😭

So sorry it took me so long to answer this- I was in a Busy time (diseaseridden with covid and being punched by finals) when I got the ask and wanted to answer it with some stuff Im using for my next TOH animatic!!

I'll say one thing first: I get jumbled up and ditch so many animatics. For every one animatic I release, there are three to five more I have that have NEVER seen the light of day (yet). And that's okay!! It's fun just to make them for me, and I hope it is for you too!! Animatics are scary because if you're working on it alone, it can be really hard to be your own cheerleader to keep up the mojo to keep going. So that makes it really special when there is that project that makes it to the finish line- cuz you can look at it and go "holy crap I made this. holy crap i MADE that look how SICK that is dude!! all that work and look at the turnout!!"

The following stuffh is just my personal process and is by no means representative of a professional animation pipeline, but this works for me as a Lonely Artist! It all begins with the idea - whether it's a song, or just a story you wanna tell. In the case of the one I'm gonna demo here with , I wanted to animate Hunter's first day as Del's apprentice!

The first thing I did was write a script. Not fancy or AO3-quality, but enough that I understand the pacing and the visuals of each shot. I usually just put this in a doc or put it in a script format, if I feel fancy.

Then, I take that script and find music that I think would fit for it- and remix it (if needed) to fit the pacing/mood/etc! This is what this new animatic looked like before I began ANY artwork- this is a me thing because I'm super inspired by audio as opposed to visuals first. But you might be different- this is just how I like working personally!

Then begins the research! I find references for characters, background layouts, and create a style guide for the animatic that tells me how thick lines will be for characters, backgrounds, if there'll be tons of value or no. I make a turnaround for each character so I can refer to them because Im gonna be drawing them over and over a LOT and want to be consistent! Luckily TOH has no shortage of references, so I based my work off them.

THEN, I can begin drawing. I'm a little,,, (a lot) ADHD and may not always do this process, but if you're new to animatics or daunted by the task at hand, make beat boards of the entire project.

This is just a page of rough thumbnails that get your visual idea down - look how rough and quick these are!! I try not to spend over a minute on each beat board if I dont have to, unless it's a particularly complex shot.

When it gets to the stage where you're ready to begin the actual scenes, I personally tend to do backgrounds first because I like to set characters into backgrounds - and for every animatic, I have the Awkward Blue Sketch Stage which is basically my beat boards timed out as an animatic.

I used Storyboard Pro for this (Toonboom, not free ): icky), but the process can be replicated across most art platforms in whichever way you feel most comfy with! This is so I can time the drawings before I devote time cleaning them up-- which can make for some Pretty Funny looking little guys but theyre important!! trust!!

Once a big sequence of shots is cleaned up (I usually do 40-60 second chunks at a time), I export the .mov and send it to my editing program (which in this case is still Premiere Pro) - and then repeat this process again and again until.. it's done??

Here's like a TL;DR list of basically everything I said summed up:

• Make a loose script or bulletin of the idea! Do your research!

• Depending on what kind of animatic you're making, time it to music!

• Make a beat board of very loose gestures for your shots, and time them - then move on to refinement & cleanup!

• Combine all shots, refine music cues and timings, add any last needed VFX, and export!

There's no secret recipe or anything, it's just learning a pipeline that best suits you, whether it is for something professional or something you want to make for fun because you just love to make!!

#riley talks #long post #SORRY ITS LONG but i couldnt just put a bulletin list like “this is the ONLY method that works” bc thats not true!!! #everyone works diferently especially artists #and this is just my specific method of working #im very fortunate to have programs that make animatic-making a little easier #so i hope whoever wishes to make one in the future finds something that works well for them!! i have a blast making storyboards/animatics!! #text post #ask #tutorial #idk how to tag this lol

[zemi-noelle-art]

Your LPS customs are soooo amazing!! Like genuinely so inspiring 😭 I wanna get into it but I have no idea how!!

Thank you so much!!! that really means a lot! And I'm really honored to hear I've been inspiring people with my work<3 I can provide some tips on starting the hobby if that helps! this'll be based on my own experience though of course! I can firstly say that getting into LPS customizing was pretty simple for me, because I already had most of the supplies I use for other projects, and it was only a matter of getting the bases themselves to paint on. Of course I have the LPS I grew up with but I didn't want to ruin those lol. I use those blank bootleg LPS bases they sell on amazon. You can also use authentic LPS but I'd recommend making sure you're not painting over a rare one like a big 5 or Savannah Reed first lol. A good starting point is to draft out the design you want on paper/digitally to see what kind of custom you want to make. for me I use digital templates and paint over them in my art program. Templesta on DeviantArt has some really good ones! For paint I use acrylic. Get a teeny tiny paintbrush for detail work along with a couple other sizes as well and those should be all the basic supplies you need to start! You can also get more complex with it and use chalk pastels, water color pencils and glitters too. Get creative! see what supplies you can use to take your customs to the next level. As a tip, make sure to water down your paint and do multiple thin layers. Patience is key because that paint is not gonna want to stick to the base at first. A lot of the actual painting process does come down to practice and a steady hand.

If you want to seal your customs which isn't necessary but gives them a nice finish, I recommend Liquitex high gloss varnish to seal the eyes. There are some good matte varnish sprays out there but I recommend doing your own research on those, as they can be resin based and therefore need a bit of caution and prep to handle. I personally use Mister Super Clear matte spray to seal the base of the custom, and I always spray outside with gloves and a respirator.

And though I have done sculpting I don't consider myself well versed enough to recommend supplies for clay but I've heard Green Stuff and Apoxie sculpt are good clays to use, but be sure to do your own research on those as well.

The monster high doll customization community is a good place to look for material research! A lot of the process of the face-up is pretty similar to painting LPS. That's actually what got me into customizing in the first place; I just watched a bunch of Dollightful, Enchanterium, and Moonlight Jewel's videos and said to myself "Wait a minute, I could do this with LPS!" I also of course recommend watching other LPS customizer's videos to see the process of how they make their customs, and show them some support as well! Pumpkinscustoms Is a really big inspiration for me and HelloStudios, Mr. Crazy Ray and LPSCobalt have really good videos on making customs.

And once again, if you don't wanna dive right in you can just draw them, whether using a template or not to see if you like the process and the design! You can even make a bunch of designs digitally and once you feel ready to tackle a real custom, start there! ahaha I didn't know I'd be writing a whole-ass Essay but I hope all this helps!! Thank you for enjoying my work!

#zemi's ramblings #ask zemi #lps customs #lpsblr #lpscommunity #doll customization #advice tag #rotten-g0blin

[flipppyflopp]

YOUR STYLE IS SO CHARMING OMGGG YOU ARE AMAZING!!😭💗💗💗💕💕💕 May I know what you draw on and what program you use???🥺🥺🥺 And how much time do you spend on one comic?😳💕💕 I'm really curious but you don't have to answer if you don't want to!! Have a nice day🥰🥰🥰

YOU ARE SO SWEET THANK YOU!! 💕💕

I’m more than happy to answer all your questions! I currently use Procreate on my iPad for all of my drawings. I used to use Clip Studio Paint on my laptop, but I decided to splurge on a new iPad last summer and needed a new art program, so I chose Procreate because I heard a lot of great things about it! I really like it and feel it’s so easy to use.

As for my comics it really depends on several factors: the length of the idea, the coloring, and my passion for the project overall! The last one can be very important as if I’m really invested and excited about an idea it can take me about 3 days to complete, one day for sketching and preliminary lineart, day two is dumping colors and finishing lineart, and day three is shading. I’d say typically on average about 5 to 7 days for a comic that’s four to six pages long! The recent one of Silver and Lilia painting took me five days, though it would’ve taken four cuz I was just lazy on one day last week and did like a text bubble and called it quits lol

The process kinda looks like this, I’ll use an upcoming Sebcroc ceremonial robes comic to show my process:

Step 1 is sketching it out to know what dialogue I want, where to place characters, making sure to make each page different so the layouts feel fresh and not dull/repeated:

Step Two is actually lining everything. Usually I start with the text and text bubbles, then move on to characters. Eyes usually come last because I sometimes find them hard to draw…

I would show step three, but I haven’t actually colored this one yet, but imagine the page is colored and full of life! Then I just repeat on other pages till it’s done and ready to post. Thank you for the lovely ask, hopefully I answered all your questions! 💕

#thanks for the ask! #ask box #my process can be all over the place #but I really love making comics #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fanart #twst fanart #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #fanart #my art #doodle #art

[thyandrawrites]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

What a lovely writing meme, thanks for sending it my way! And thanks to @bittermoonswrites and @draphrawrites for thinking of me as well! I'm answering you all at once 💙

First I have to mention my one longfic, Butterfly Effect. If you're new here, it's an exploration of Dabi, Hawks, and the Todofam. It began as a dabihawks project but then sort of muted into my own idea of how all of these plotlines could've intersected and given the characters closure and healing. As my first and only longfic it has a lot of imperfections, but I hold it very dear to my heart. I even printed a copy for myself and I reread bits of it from time to time

Then for sure Stitches deserves a mention. As you may know from my meta, conflicting relationships rife with miscommunication and ugly feelings are one of my fav things to write about, and here I did just that. Set in a canon divergent timeline, Dabi is taken captive by the heroes instead of Compress and does his time in Tartarus. There, the monotony of his captivity is interrupted by a visit from his mother, and they finally have a chat after 10 and some years

Cold feet is another big favourite of mine. This one didn't get as much attention as some of my other dbhwks works, and I wonder if it's because I write an unpopular, canon-adjacent Dabi that the fandom doesn't much vibe with. But that's exactly what I love about this story! :') Personally, I think this is one of the best Dabis I've ever written. I tried to explore the duality of his need to be noticed and valued for who he is vs his fear of being vulnerable, all filtered through Hawks' similar self-repression & devil may care mask. If you want to make me happy, give this a read. It might not be your cup of tea in the end but it would bring a smile to my face to know you gave it a chance :')

A thousand paper cranes is one of my most self indulgent works, and for that I must mention it. It's an AU where Touya and Keigo were trainees in the same HPSC hero program, until something went horribly wrong. basically it's a childhood friends to villain boyfriends journey with a twist :') I published this way ahead of its time. It would've done numbers if posted today. Smh.

My last fave is a still unpublished work, but if you're curious about it shoot me an ask and I'll share a snip. Since basically all recs on this list are character study pieces, you guessed it, so is this one. This time it's Todosiblings-centric. Pov Touya, post canon, deals with Touya's healing post war and explores his dynamic with all his siblings in an attempt to get them to finally talk about their problems. Actually, someone should kick my ass and tell me to finish it. I exhausted all my meta energy with ch 2 but the Fuyumi chapter needs to be wrapped up so I can post this 😭 smh the writer is such an ass for leaving me hanging like this (I'm the writer)

Thanks again for sending me this question! 💙💙

#Realizing as I type this that I have a Theme #And that's writing deep dives into a person's pov to attempt to give the character closure #So many of my fav pieces do that it's a wonder how I never noticed before #Ali replies #Bnha

[neonsbian]

thinking abt the way i got into thai bl...im literally not normal 😭 like i was working on my stupid honors program project (a novella abt a heavy subject matter) and the stress of not only writing it but having to think abt said heavy subject matter AND having to finish it in like 2 months was killing me so bad so i decided to unwind by watching a cute little romcom and i go on my pirating site to see what romcoms are popular now and notice that my school president is always trending and i was like man i dont wanna watch a high school show but i watched it anyway bc i was like well i just need something dumb to take my mind off things for a bit and ended up loving it and then i watched mlc and bad buddy immediately after and was like wow these are all great shows what other thai dramas are out there and then ended up watching 13 full dramas in the month of march 😭

#not counting my rewatches of bbs and msp... #i dont think i posted abt any of them besides bbs msp and mlc #maybe like a gifset of a few others #but my mental health during that period of time....genuinely one of the worst periods of my life #and i have no one to blame but myself lmao #if ur wondering i did finish writing that novella and then i wrote another draft and then passed my program and graduated somehow #i actually did watch a couple thai dramas pre this mental health crisis but i didnt get invested till p recently #thats how they get u lmao #vinnie talks

[itlivesproject]

hello friends! i suppose i should introduce myself now that the game is fully released: my name is sarah, but you will know me as the abel simp anon :) (also, in the q&a when you said you were desperate to find out who i am.. i actually lost my mind slightly because i admire you all so much, i couldn’t stop thinking about it😭, so thank you for being so lovely!)

i wanted to try to keep this as short as possible but i am known to ramble so hopefully that’s not too annoying! (edit: this ask is very very long, i just had so much i wanted to say, apologies in advance!)

firstly, i want to say thank you for being such a welcoming community - i’m pretty quiet and i don’t really share my interests much irl so to have this community means the world to me! i want to give the biggest thank you to you, the it lives project team, because without you guys none of this would’ve happened. i know it’s said a lot (but it’s true) how IMPRESSIVE this whole project has been from start to finish, i am honestly in awe of you all. from perfectly building upon already loved characters to creating your own, to your incredible world building and art (and i don’t even want to think about the nightmare that was programming all the many many variations), your storytelling capabilities are off the charts, seriously! i also want to quickly say that the few people who sent asks in about me made me feel so cool, like a tiny internet micro celebrity😭

i wanted to tell you a little bit about me! first of all, i’m british, so feel free to now read all of my asks in a silly little accent☕️. fun fact: i’ve followed lindsay for quite a long time and saw her original post at the very beginning asking if anyone would be interested in helping to create a third instalment… i actually almost signed up to be a writer on this project as i’m an english student and an avid it lives stan*, but i knew that with my schedule with college i wouldn’t have been able to give it the time it needed and deserved, but retrospectively i definitely couldn’t write anything as incredible as what you guys have produced, and as much as i would’ve loved to be on the team, being a fan has been the best experience i’ve had in a long long time!! *i am actually such an it lives nerd that i once made a powerpoint to tell my friend the entire plot of both ilitw and ilb, and she is eagerly awaiting for when i give her a powerpoint on the plot of ilw😭

i spent so many hours on friday unprivating all my ilw posts as, before this, my blog was completely empty of fandom posts, as like i said before i’ve always been pretty insecure about sharing my interests, and i grew pretty fond of my ~mysterious anonymity~ so feel free to see how long i’ve been secretly reblogging everyone’s posts for now that they’re public lmao

i also finally started speaking more in the discord yesterday (here’s to boosting your self-confidence!) and someone told me that’s how they figured out who i am, so i’m very interested in who that was and how they knew it was me👀

this project has seriously changed my life and i’m so sincerely grateful for everyone involved, you all have such a special place in my heart. thank you for taking care of ali, kassie, and sadie (my devon, harper, and rowan) they could not have been in safer hands🫶 (because i do not have it in me to do a disaster route, they are all ALIVE and HAPPY and abel and sadie will get married and live happily ever after)

so far i have cried 4 times in the last 2 days because i’m so devastated about this project ending, in fact i have an 8 minute long video i sent to one of my best friends just talking and crying about how much i’ll miss the game despite the fact that the community will always still be here (i’m just very dramatic and emotional in case you haven’t noticed that over the past year or so😭)

let me wrap things up because i’ve definitely overstayed my welcome in this ask😭 i don’t think i’ll truly be able to put into words how much this project has meant to me over the last year or so, and it has been an absolute honour to see you and your project grow and flourish. but most of all, it’s been a privilege to be your abel simp anon and it’s safe to say this is an experience i’ll cherish forever and never forget

-forever yours, with so so much love, sarah, aka the abel simp anon💓

(ps. this definitely won’t be the last time you hear from me, i’m clingy as hell😘)

Oh dear Abel simp anon aka Sarah ❤️❤️

First of all, we (especially I) loved getting your asks, it was always fun as hell to read a good chapter liveblog and I was always really excited to see your reaction to the Abel scenes (seriously it made my day) 🥰🥰

Also that’s crazy that you almost applied! I’m glad you enjoyed being a fan so much, we really enjoyed having you as one. And a fellow English major! That’s always so exciting to me 😂

I’m honored we had such a big impact on you and truly we’re so glad you were along for the ride with us, it’s always amazing to know someone has been a fan the entire time. Keep speaking out in the server and posting on your blog, we’d absolutely love to keep hearing from you! And don’t you worry, Abel and Sadie will be happy together forever 🥰🥰

#abel simp anon #mod maggie #ask

[silviakundera]

Lighter and Princess Episode 6

idk if this is on purpose or not by the stylists, but it struck me that he now looks more mainstream. Normal hair, more standard clothes. Is he tweaking his look into what he thinks is more her type? 🤔

Ren Di is completely my type as a university student. Don't leave me girl, I still need my eye candy 😭

can't believe I'm stuck here with class president, ML in his self-important brat era, and a version of the FL that I'm not even horny for 😭😭

Professor X uses a very suspect metaphor to convince FL that ML is not her mom. The true captain of this ship.

wow, that's the lamest bar fight I've encountered in a cdrama. and that's saying something.

but now ML is wooing FL by commenting on her code. That's... pretty much how I had Mark win over Eduardo in my most popular TSN fic. 🙈 So, valid.

"Miss Zhu, what's wrong with me?"/ Nothing. You're good. / (sexual tension you could cut with a knife) / "They're coming." / "Who is afraid, you or I?"

OKKKKKKKAY that was chemistry. And you obviously, obviously are so into each other. So just get together already. I suppose I've been there. They're drawing it out because they're enjoying the mutual chase.

ML totally deserves to be in a horrible bitchy mood after Random Female Extra spilled coffee on his computer (justified homicide tbh) and yet, my dude, there were a hundred more times you'd be justified to be a jerk to Annoying Class President. Like, the 1 (one) thing that's not legit is to shame her for not being as smart as your canon-certified genius self. There are so many other valid reasons she sucks.

As she immediately demonstrates. ugh, can't stand her.

Episode 7

sigh, my second hand embarrassment squick is not enjoying the bid subplot. They do suck at design but ML's methods are also very immature. Most rl professionals wouldn't do business again with a partner that pulled that bullshit on a bid, even if they won it. The narrative tries to excuse it but NO. This is the type of engineer who needs to be transferred to more independent tasks, who you quarantine from having to work with others before he death spirals your staff turn-over rate 😂

His boss boyfriend shtick is age appropriate dumb, so it's endearing. He's been creating reasons to allow her to stick with him for a long time now. And she's actively participating, while pretending to have no choice.

ML recovers his image in my eyes with his practicality at his project being swiped by the org higher in the hierarchy. Pick your battles. It's one thing between independent companies, but this is an internal fight they can't win. They don't have the political muscle in the uni. Unless the professor wants to go to battle for them, or if her mom has a connection. But even then, why spend your social capital that way? I'd just take the L and move on. [Edit: I'm on ep 10 and have to laugh because she DID leverage her connections to win the battle. well ok then, girl! 😂 ]

Episode 8

ha ha I'd also do absolute bare minimum (if that) on the stolen project, so I'm feeling FL at the start. Guys, this is where malicious compliance shines!

ML and Annoying Class President uniting to protect FL was not what I was expecting to start this episode.

"As for Li Xun's matter, I care." sigh. A fool, but a romantic one.

Evil Project Stealer is incompetent. That should be its own vengeance in a way. But sadly there are always those people who are incredibly skilled in managing up and so they coast forever.

Her minion is actually pathetic, though. Those grad school traps where you're blocked from finishing your program & get taken advantage of are very very real. It happens in North America too.

Cutely drunk FL is an overused cliche BUT I am enjoying the dynamic of Ren Di with the budding couple and most importantly, FL is indeed adorable smooshing her face into his neck. and then clutching his hand ❤

I applaud her crawling into his bed. But the fact that he wasn't in it reduces 2 stars.

A+ collapsing against his shoulder to sleep, though. awww he admitted she affects him.

#lighter and princess #cdrama #lp spoilers

[mueritos]

Specific art ask thing: 1 or 8

1. Art programs you have but don't use

I only have procreate CSP and I use both regularly, so none! I used to have sai downloaded but I absolutely hate sai...I used to use photoshop as well but fell out of love with it when I bought CSP back when I was like fucking 11

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

sigh...my first webcomic, STATIC. it's still on tapas today and it was one of the reasons why I grew a following in the first place. it was a fun project that I was pretty disciplined with as I worked on it for basically the entirety of high school, and then resigned myself to never finishing it. I've accepted that, and I enjoy the story, but I definitely needed to stop it because it was so sad 😭 so working on it made me sad lmfaooo but it helped me learn a lot ^-^

#muertoresponds

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

JULY!!!!!

hello everyone, lads and lasses, i hope you are all well and happy! buckle up because this post is going to be long for i want to put down as many details as i can - i'll just go straight to the point that i'm uncharacteristically on time for this July post because i just can't wait to relay the news!

here we go, the main highlight of this month is that i can finally confide in you guys for what is the true nature of my project because it went super duper well! and if you follow me on instagram or twitter, yes: i got accepted to Dentistry UI's Orthodontic Residency program ✨

look at that. i still can't believe it says i got in. still feels like a fever dream, but it's real 🥺

so July has been such a tremendous emotional rollercoaster for me... well honestly the past year has been one. i prepared for the SIMAK UI exam since October 2022 because there were just so many things to take care of, not to mention actually studying for the exam(s). yep, there were different exam steps and each has a challenge of its own. before i explain them and the timeline, i just want to put a disclaimer that orthodontic residency is one of the hardest to get into and i went in with complete surrender of how the result will turn out. there were 19 candidates and only 11 are accepted.

there were eight different exams: TPA (some sort of academic potential test), GMAT English test, MMPI (and i quote from Google: "The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory is the most common psychometric test devised to assess personality traits and psychopathology."), orthodontic theory computer based test, orthodontic theory essay, English essay, orthodontic wire bending practical exam, and the last being an interview with the professors of the department.

if the amount of tests already made you cower, then the dates and intervals of when the exams were held will tip you over the edge: all eight exams are done in just the span of four days! i remember checking out the schedule and got a headache immediately because i was so worried of the time constraint. and the way that there's an exam day where i had four exams done... i literally ate next to nothing and got a bit sick afterwards (sorry, a force of habit with so much stress lol)

so many went in as an effort to put my best out there, and it wasn't easy. to get into residency programs it's a well known public secret that you need to have an insider or a recommendation letter from higher-ups, and really... i have none. i remember my mum saying that all i have is Allah's help. as anyone who know me may guess, i did everything i could (obviously) 😂

for the orthodontic theory exams i had to read two thick textbooks that took me two months to finish, because it was just too much of new information i need considerable amount of time to understand the theories. there was no guideline on what to expect or what kind of question will appear on the exams, so i just blindly read everything and try to make a sense out of it. i think 6 months before the exam week every day was just me reading anything orthodontics related, revising them, working on sample exam questions i have from my previous clinical years, and practicing wire bending (it got me bruised fingers for weeks) i think for this time i can say i'm very proud of myself for being able to push through despite many hindrances, for getting in on my first shot because as i stated earlier many ortho residents had to try twice or even thrice until they're accepted.

the exam week went from July 2nd to July 6th, i think i was a zombie during this time because i couldn't eat well at all and my brain just programmed my body to react as best as i could to everything that transpired in those five days 😭 the announcement was on July 25th and i was on a clinic shift where i had a patient one hour before announcement time and it felt like i was downright insane counting down to the moment i refresh the website... i remember jumping up and down as i see congratulations written 🥺 on July 26th there was a meeting for all residents and i finally got to meet my 10 'classmates'! to be frank i'm so nervous of what's to come but as always, i'll meet it when it does. class will start around late August/early September, so wish me luck for the next three years of residency!

second highlight is my East Sumba trip!!! as usual it was my dad's office trip again for the nth time and i thoroughly enjoyed it as it was five days after i was done with SIMAK UI's exam week! the trip lasted for six days (2 days of journey to and from included) and let me tell you: Sumba. is. so. beautiful. i ran out of objectives, all i could do while exploring just a small portion of Sumba is praise Allah's name because what else would i do? nothing manmade will ever replicate or even come close to the omnipotent presence of nature. i went to Wairinding Hills (it's a hit tourist spot that showcases Sumba's unique terrain, the sunset view is one of a kind), Tanggedu Waterfall (super blue, cold waters here i could spent hours just submerging my feet in it, the view is also great), Walakiri Beach (the special part about beaches in East Sumba is that it has mangrove trees as a way of land protection and during sunset, it gave the impression of the sea mirroring the tree and the people, so yeah top notch photo spot) and of course seafood culinary trip! being near the sea in every direction it gives access to fresh water creatures and the cuisines are heavenly. i thoroughly enjoyed my time here 🥺

from this East Sumba trip i finally decided i'd rather go exploring Indonesia's hidden gem islands rather than going abroad, and i'm not saying this to make a jab to other countries really, it's just i can't believe there are still so many undiscovered untouched ethereal parts of nature in my own country and it's so close to home! i feel like it's a top priority in my bucket list to see them at least once in my life. the only disheartening thing is how the government seems to not care even an ounce about these places. i wish they would notice and make sure the locals can actually benefit from these full of potential tourist spots. also really sad to see most of the tourists here are foreigners because of how expensive domestic flight tickets are to these secluded islands. i sincerely hope for a better plan for these issues...

i know i'm jumping a bit on the timeline here but back again to July 29th i got to see a longtime friend, Nurul! our fathers work at Bank Indonesia and we met while we were in junior high school on a BI event. and i love the fact that even a small inconsequential occurrence turned out into a friendship that stays strong through the years 🥺 we had lunch and watched Oppenheimer together!

then at last July 30th i went to an orphanage that my parents are patrons of, and held a lil celebration of me becoming an orthodontic resident and my sister graduating. it was fun seeing all the kids i've first met back in 2018 as i was starting my clinical years to be a dentist and they are a major part of my journey from becoming a dentist to now a resident. we had lunch and i gave mini dental health education and free dental health checkup - it was hilarious how the boys were more embarrassed than the girls about doing the latter!

that's it for July. oh how time flies :) it's always a mind acrobat looking back and, though it hasn't settled fully yet, knowing how far i've come... i've said this 348573495 times but really, it's an amazing feeling to see things i didn't understand back then are now starting to come back to me in full circle. especially how now i understand never giving up and conceding decisively go hand in hand. life will reveal its secrets and why things go the way they are, all in good time.

dear friends, be patient, do good and be good 😉 good things come to those who wait - they're coming our way. see you in next post!

#alhamdulillah #masyaAllah tabarakallah #i'm officially back to school #yet again #bismillahirrahmanirrahim #excited for this new journey!!! #LET'S GO

[felixantares]

11 22 19 ayo

omg some of those are so fun!! 💚

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

I have such a hard time killing my darlings 😭 I never want to. But I do it!! even though it’s hard! I did it not even like a week ago. There was a whole severitus plot line in build me no shrines that I was super attached to and I cut it, because it wasn’t working. I was crying the whole time and now I have a separate severitus fic that is in no way related. But yes I have a darling graveyard, usually they don’t stay dead long and get turned into new fic ideas

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I mean, I’ve been doing creative writing forever it feels like. I wrote little short stories as a kid and drew really terrible comics. My mum got me this novel writing program that had a code for an online forum when I was around 12, and so I started writing a novel (I finished it too! I was 13 and it’s actually insane, the plot makes no sense, but like!! I did it, 45k of nonsense. my mum was so proud) but I joined the forum and it was a bunch of other kids all 12-17 who wanted to write books too. I kinda stopped for a while in high school and uni because I’d been told I couldn’t do anything with writing, that it was too hard to make a career out of it and I was better off doing something practical (haha jokes on them I went into art). Then in like… 2016? I had a brief little period where I wrote a couple Merlin fics, they didn’t do super well and I got a couple nasty comments that kinda put me off writing fanfic at all. Then in uhhhh August last year I got really into Harry Potter again after I broke off a toxic friendship with someone who said I couldn’t be queer and also like Harry Potter, so as a giant fuck you to them I joined the first HP discord server I found — which I kinda found my people right away and now I’m quite happily inhabiting my little corner of the internet and writing my stupid little stories.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Okay I don’t think I’m crazy organised but then I’ve been told I am, so idk make your own calls. I’ve got 2 physical notebooks, one for my two long WIPs and I just kinda put a coloured sticky note in the pages whenever I switch the fic I’m writing for, and a second book for random ideas and notes and stuff that usually gets transferred to the appropriate document later. The idea notebook is very small and lives in my pocket in case I’m out and need to write an idea down. But I don’t really take a lot of physical notes. My docs and folders though are perfectly organised. Docs are put in folders with their fic (or in the case of one shots, a folder for that) or like my general writing folder if it’s a resource, but I have a naming system that I use for all my projects, based on what kind of file it is so they get tagged with like [OUTLINE] or [WIP] or whatever is relevant. There’s a colour coding system within the documents (so like as I’m writing, notes to myself are always blue, notes on a character are green, sections that need editing are highlighted in red, sections that I’m currently working on are orange… and a few other colour keys that I won’t bore you with) and then I have a spreadsheet I use to track wc goals and overall progress and stuff. I’ve thought about using that “make your own wiki” site that was shared with me a little while ago (or I’ve got a subscription to WorldAnvil for my D&D notes, so maybe that) to start organising my lore notes a bit better, but that’s a fairly large project and I might just stick to what’s working for me.

#felix talks #ask game #harry potter #on writing

[sharpth1ng]

I just finished watching Scream 2 and here’s some of my thoughts on it

First of all RANDY MY BABY literally sobbing rn 😭😭😭

Mickey was good but he can never be Stu

Mrs. Loomis WHAT FUCKJNG PLOT TWIST

My love-hate relationship with Gale is just growing stronger w this movie I swear

Sidney needs to just live in a tower and never come down at this point I swear to god

And finally, WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY EXPECT WHEN THEY MADE A MOVIE 😭😭😂💀💀 them: glorifies literal homicide and makes it look cool and fun and gives everyone masks and everything | also them: oh no why are the kids using the masks we gave the to go and murder people 😱😱😱

Anyway, overall a great watch 10/10 would (and probably will) watch again and excited to watch the rest!

- 🌂

Ugh it SUCKS to lose Randy right? Apparently Kevin Williamson regretted killing him off

Mickey is best enjoyed without comparison to Stu imo. He’s his own kind of weirdo. Also tbh no one can compare to Matthew Lillard

Love Mrs Loomis. Love Laurie Metcalf. I’m not the first to say it but MOTHER.

Lmoa Gale pisses me off in this movie but her hair is insane and I kind of like it

Sidney needs to enter the witness projection program it’s ridiculous

Tbh I’m resistant to the idea that movies cause real violence (resisting the urge for a Billy quote) mostly cause there’s not much evidence of that fr, but it’s still like EXTREMELY INSENSITIVE that they would make the stab movies directly after this happened? And clearly against the victims will. Feels like the Stab movies are equivalent to the stupid fucking Dahmer tv show IRL.

Yay, glad you enjoyed!! Tbh scream 2 is a fave.

#lovely to hear from you 🌂anon #scream 2 #ask

[adhdthoughts]

Yeah, so.. today is an elvanse-day, I was studying for my exams (on 26.04) in the evening and had a midnight flow.

My gf told me (at around 00:00), that I should stop and get to be in time, so I can take my Elvanse tomorrow for a potential productive day, but I was just in the flow and wanted to continue.

(If you didn't read my recent post: Elvanse is hard to sleep on for me, so I better take that early.)

So I continued till 02:00. And now I'm doing posts on here, even though I wanted to sleep already, and it's 03:40 now.. 💀

I really miss my gf 😭, she went to her parents (they live in Austria, about 10h by train) for 10 days in total and comes back in 2,5 days. Thats another 3 nights sleeping alone 😔. I sadly couldn't go with her, because I need to study for my apprenticeship exam and because thats for sure not enough, I have to do a programming project that should be done in 80h that I need to do in the same time-window on work as learning for the exam. So you learn new stuff on work, probably need to do smth for that home while studying. So I'm kinda totally in stress and that's why I couldn't go with her. Her dad had bd and invited me to join them all to a spa/hotel in Hungary. I mean I hate to travel that much, but not being apart of gf and being together with her in the hotel room would be nice. (Giggity)

In 1 month we have 1 year anniversary :3 🥳.

It's going pretty good between us, we want to cuddle and kiss the same amount and never had an argument or dispute so far and we met almost every day or at least spending almost every night together.

I really should study more so I have more time for her when she comes back, because we both really need our cuddles and attention after so long apart. (I swear 1 week apart is so fkn hard for us, it's a disgrace.)

But it's not as easy as said. Sure it would be cool to study now and have more time for her when she's here, but that's sadly not how it works.. :(

So yeah.. Idk if I can my medication tomorrow I wann have a good sleep finally (not really getting that on working days, because I'm too long awake and need to get up "early").

But I'm kinda afraid if I can do it, because my company kinda wants their apprentice/trainees to have good grades and rn, I don't really now how to learn for all that and get my project done in time.

I also want to have time for my gf (I can't study so much anyway) and also have time for my hobbies (gym, wakeboarding, streaming). Especially streaming on twitch sparks much joy for me.

It's hard being me for the next 2,5 weeks, I'll have a really shitty, stressfull time..

I also want my company to keep me after I finished my apprenticeship, so I better get good grades on exam/project.

😭😭😭

Its (04:15 now, fml) 💀

#adhd #my adhd #adhd problems #living with adhd #adhd feels #adhd mood #lovesick #in love #love #cute gf #couple #elvanse #apprenticeship #trainee #apprentice #hobbies #no time #bad time management #fml #medication #adhd meds #twitch #streaming #studying #exams #exams are killing me #i should sleep #sleepless #lonely #1 year anniversary

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 5/21/2022

I forgot to do this yesterday!!

WELL, I wrote 3049 words worth of Renji and Ichigo eating pie in a diner with Byakuya’s dad. I alluded to it in the tags, but got really excited about this one, wrote a bunch, realized I had a bunch of continuity errors, and it took me most of a week to massage it back into something workable. I am happy enough with the end result, but that was more stress than I wanted to put myself under for this writing challenge, and I think I’m pretty relieved that it’s nearly run its course. I have one in mind for this coming week, and then one last one that is sort of a What If? challenge and also sort of not, you’ll just have to wait and see on that on.

I also wrote 1437 words on the Tattoo Artist AU. (15,848)

My brain is started to shift gears back into a little in love mode. I had a pretty clear vision for the last two acts of the story back when I originally outlined the whole thing, but now that I’m there, I’m not 100% happy with it, so I’ve been trying to brainstorm different ways it could go. I mean, I still have my original conception to fall back on if I can’t come up with something better, but I just feel like it doesn’t necessarily flow logically from how the characters have been developing up to this point. (Also it involves Rukia and Renji having a fight and I don’t wanna 😭😭😭) Anyway, I’m kinda hype for finishing this thing! I’m not sure, but it has a legit shot at surpassing Call Me Back as the longest thing I’ve ever written.

The summer that I started writing alil, I read a bunch of Jane Austen novels. I’ve mentioned that I have been struggling to read lately, and I’ll say that my project of re-reading the Battle Angel manga has not been entirely a success. I’m on the last volume of the first series now, but it’s taken me absolutely forever. My library does a summer reading program, though, for adults as well as children. The surest way to get me to do anything is to require me to log it, so I am hopeful that I am going to Read a Book or Two this summer. Reading and writing are sort of independent activities for me, but I feel like reading is important to keep my writing brain going in the long-run, and I really need to get back into it.

Art-wise, I am very close to a workable “done” on my zine piece. I plan to go back and improve a number of the background elements, but the mental freedom of “I could turn this in if I had to” will be very freeing. I took a tiny break on that to make something for Renruki Kiss Day. It’s going...okay. It’s not my favorite thing I’ve ever drawn, but I do feel pretty confident I’ll get it done on time. It’s been really irritating because I feel like I’ve forgotten how to draw lately. Sometimes I feel like I could just go back and start learning to draw again from scratch, not that I have any idea what that looks like. I just get mad because I have no discernable style and I’m super-dependent on references. Bleh. I miss doing Soul Society Artist AU comix and I’m looking forward to doing them again, even if it means I have to do a “powering up” panel that I’ve been dreading.

#writing update #art update