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#i need to prove to them that im cool enough to love
rubiatinctorum · 2 years
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the dreadful fear that im wasting my 20s by being much too "normal" and not cool enough vs the refusal to believe anything bad i think abt my life past 9pm FIGHT
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matchandelure · 27 days
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binge read all of kaiju no 8 a couple days ago :::) and im all caught up w the anime now too i am hooked holy
#haha i start my internship in a couple days so im feeling really shitty and anxious and need to bury my feelings w new media#I LOVE THIS SERIES??!!! A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i didnt do research before starting the anime like i usually do..so i had zero idea who the voice actors were#BUT THEN I HEARD HOSHINA SAY ONE LINE AND WAS IMMEDIATELY LIKE. ASAGIRI GEN IS THAT YOU?!?!??!?@??@?@!?!!?!?!!!#IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND OOOOOOOH THE ACCENT IS PERFECT!!!!!#hoshina is my favourite.....silly guy who wields his sword for fun... i also caught up with b side bc i heard he was the main#and i cried lol...#also cried a couple more times during my run through the manga haha#kafka... ohhhhh kafka as a protag!!!!!! HES SO SO AMAZING#guy in his 30s fueld by a promise w his childhood friend to stand next to her and eliminate all the monsters#THE WAY HE CARES SO MUCH ;O; THE IMPACT HES HAD ON BOTH RENO AND KIKORU#KIKORU MY DAUGHTER ;O; SHES DONE SO MUCH SHES DONE SO WELL SHES AMAZING SHE DESERVES SO MUCH PRAISE AND LOVE#yea....i like these guys i think they are very very cool I CANNOT WAIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM#honestly kn8 episodes are gonna be what gets me through the weeks now...#both these eps and ALSO THE NEW TOURABU ANIME BUT IM SO SAD ITS ENDING IN 3 MROE EPS :(((#literally either teared up cried or screamed or all 3 a ton as i watched each episode tkrb will always cheer me up#i am gods most predictable pathetically weak soldier i saw hoshina who smiles like ranpo and laughs and jokes around constantly and yet als#has this huge sense of like... what is my purpose. what is my proof of existence. how can i be asked to just drop the one thing that ive#kept at all my life. thats all i have out here thats the only way for me to save people and prove i existed#that keeps me this role in this force in this organization and this is all i ahve to live for#HES SO URUHRHTUGHGSDFKJFK#GUY WHO ON THE SURFACE SEEMS SO HAPPY GO LUCKY AND SIMPLE WHO SHOUDLERS AND KEEPS SO MUCH TO HIMSELF WHO IS SO PASSIONATE ABOUT ONE THING#THAT HAS SHAPED HIS ENTIRE LIFE WHO CARES SO SO MUCH AND JUST WANTS TO DO WHATEVER HE CAN BECAUSE ITS ALL HE CAN DO#i discovered bsd when i was 14 years old discovered ranpo bsd and was never the same#comfort character fr actually..so comfort character that it transcends just the one series#lol enough rambling i shall go back to playing hades watching one piece with kn8 manga tab open split screen style and listening to p3r#soundtrack so that i can stop thinking and forget that i am actually somehow a person#willows rambling branch
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naggingatlas · 1 year
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i looove putting spark over songs about like heroes and saving the world (tom cardy's 'level clear', uncle outrage's 'saved the world' <- nice voice hc for him!. and 'my superhero movie'.) when he like. Did. Not : ) funney.
#sprksplrs#gaia talked about spark wanting to be desired yesterday and while i think he's too much of a Lone Wolf... for those kinds of wants to#even surface. at least in my interpretation of him. its hilarious to think abt him getting. just a tad insecure abt fark's status as#a real like. superhero basically. just for a second in the far back of his head. oh i want to be as cool as him. im not good enough#tho again in my characterization he only wants to do that to be able to love himself. i first got this thought when ruminating on#oh god. what kinda games he n fark like to play respectively? and said 'if he ever does pick up hardmode or a challenge level#he will only do that to one up himself and himself only.' he only proves stuff to himself. he only cares about himself.#and the things that do the most mental damage to him are all scenarios in which his self is attacked.#in which his agency is taken his independence. losing a job to someone something that copies him and does it better than him#something that even copies a really dear object to him thats been with him throughout the years - his jester hat#an attack on individuality. and then being merged into the sim. idk. the yaoi moments when he does work together w fark become even more#potent. this way? and. it contrasts really well with how selfless (at some point in his life very literally) fark is. and how confident in#his self. he turns out to be in the end. as micah said 'how he moves with so much more fluidity in his organic body#the body he created himself because he's no longer afraid of it being fake'. citing that as the bible but yea kinda.#i think spark grew up quite ostracized maybe even self-ostracized and really needs a distinction between himself and everyone else#to be better than everyone else. there is some personality disorder shit happening under that piss yellow scalp.#and he fucking loses it when the events around him hammer in that the facade he builds for mostly again himself is. yknow. untrue. fake.#idk thoughts. i love exploring the antisocial aspect in fictional personas with how shipshipship focused fandoms and 'analysis'#in them is it's not something i see all that much. seems like only people whove experienced it ever bring up that topic.#is it so uncomfortable for others? who knows. ramble over
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verdemoth · 1 year
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throwing my hat in the ring. calling my shots. if i say them out loud i will either have really good luck or really bad luck so we’re going for it!
i am manifesting MaX. Nagomi Nava. Sandoval Crossing. Alaynabella Hollywood. Sutton Bishop. Alexandria Rosales. Fitzgerald Blackburn. Parker MacMillan. Agan Espinoza. some of these players will drop in the final three falls (please 🤞)
extra points if any of them end up back at home (if applicable) i just think they deserve it
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drchucktingle · 6 months
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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
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tubbytarchia · 4 months
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Traffic/Life series roster as dinosaurs
A lot of these don't make for very good hybrids unless you wanna get into freaky territory or full on centaur but... Hope it's a fun scroll nonetheless!
Grian - Novialoidea
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A small birdie... The name also means "New wings" which I find fun. New lives and death games to be part of, new wings to accompany him... (Honorable mention to "Shuvuuia" the "desert bird" who unfortunately is not a pterosaur (doesn't fly)) (Yes we're including pterosaurs! Just using "dinosaur" as a conveient blanket term)
Tango - Aratasaurus / Pyroraptor
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Fire raptor! Either works just fine and Tango as a skittery little raptor is perfect for a creature like him
Scar - Apatosaurus
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"Deceptive Lizard" harkening back to Scar's scamming tendencies. Though I've always liked the idea of him being some larger gentler animal in any hybrid scenario and a long-neck fits the bill well. He can poke his nose into people's conversations easily to start marketing something useless to them and swishes his tail to ward off anyone who's about to stop him
Impulse - Nasutoceratops
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Ren - Regaliceratops
Horns. COOL horns. I don't know what else you want from me ceratopses are just way too awesome. Nasutoceratops is a wicked cool dinosaur for having its horns point so forward much like a bull and I for one can jive with some Impulse bull symbolism. Bulls are often viewed as strong, sturdy and loyal, traits also assigned to Impulse a LOT of the time. But though he IS intensely loyal in many cases (+ Ceratopses are also known for how they defend their own!), and he's not very outward about the following traits, he can get quite petty and bitchy and hold grudges. Still, you don't think of that when you look at him and he seems to agree! Eg him feeling like he should be accepted into Cleo's alliance in 3rd life without actually proving himself when Cleo was rightfully hesitant, at which Impulse more or less rolled his eyes. And him proclaiming "betrayal!" when killed by Bdubs when their alliance was as firm as a rat's tail
(And I feel the need to point this out too just in case: "bulls are also known for their temper" yeah but they're not like that! Bulls like many animals become defensive when exposed to aggravating behavior or movement! Which you could work into Impulse's grudge holding and intense loyalty...? I don't know enough about him sorry but do with that what you will)
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Regaliceratops! Regal!! Crown shaped frill!!! Need I say more?
Gem - Therizinosaurus
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Theris are so bad bitch coated to me and I would love to have one as my wife I mean um I couldn't decide on a less generic specimen so Gem can just be a Theri! A herbivore - often associated with the belief that herbivores are gentle passive creatures, but far from it, especially with Gem! She bares her claws like it's no one's business
Martyn - Stygmoloch
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A Pachy with a tough head and a tendency to bonk people - I think it fits Martyn's tendency to perpetuate drama haha. The Stygmoloch's name though more or less translates to "demon of the styx river", the river of the underworld representing loathing of death. To me this makes sense with all the watcher lore (that I have a hard time understanding but whatever!!) especially with how Martyn became in LL. The watchers themselves don't loathe death (??) of course. They're death games. But someone within the game trying to stay alive and win? Probably loathes the idea of themselves dying. I have no clue what Im saying
Pearl - Carnotaurus
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Ok maybe a hot take not to make her into a pteradon or even a raptor with wing-like features but those just didn't fit that well in my opinion. Rather I wanted her to have some kind of horn motif in place of her wings as visual symbolism for her character. I'd like to imagine her having fine horns, to then have them damaged (one broken off) and simultaneously the other more grown out. Think of how domesticated goats for example have their horns trimmed. I think human hybrids with horns would do the same to keep them from becoming a bother but Pearl would neglect to after her heartbreak in DL. I was heavily considering the Diabloceratops for this, especially because of the name (Devil horned face - good ostracizing material) but Pearl strikes me a lot more as a carnivore and there are only two horned carnivores out there so... Carnotaurus it is haha. And even now I'm making her horns unrealistically big but.... We can suspend some belief
BigB - Oryctodromeus
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"Digging Runner"! I've already talked plenty of why BigB is very rabbit behavior to me and my reasons for assigning this burrowing dinosaur to him are similar. Tldr he is fidgety and cautious yet clever and constantly buries himself underground
Lizzie - Anurognathidae
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I don't even fucking know man it made me think of Lizzie and then I wasn't able to assign anything else to her. Lizzie often claims to be confused and if any dinosaur looks to be in a perpetual state of confusion then its this one. I know a lot of people like to portray Lizzie as a butterfly also so there you go, wings!!! And it's quite cat-like too for those who like to draw her as a cat
Mumbo - Leinkupal
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I really struggled with Mumbo... So many different dinos fit him imo but I figured it should be at least something moderately large (so "Technosaurus" was out of the question lol). Then I rediscovered this dinosaur whose name translates to "vanishing family" and then I thought about LL and SL and how Mumbo went out quickly after the initial death/s and left a very felt absence in someone's alliance and then I became really emotional and forgot what I was doing
Joel - Nodocephalosaurus
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Bdubs - Psittacosaurus
"Knob Headed Lizard"
Joel as an Ankylosaur has been stuck in my head from day one of assigning dinosaurs to the Lifers and I'm frustrated that I can't truly explain why. You'd view an Ankylosaur as a slow and docile creature, even compared to other herbivores, but...
1. Maybe not so much nowadays, I don't know what non-dino nerds think, but I feel like ankylosaurs were largely believed to be HUGE back in the day, much like velociraptors, when in reality they're not that big. The Nodocephalosaurus is especially small even among other ankylosaurs. But, well, we all know what Joel loves to say about himself
2. Joel is or likes to make himself look well in control, just as ankylosaurs have little to worry about as far as predators go. Especially in earlier series where he was content basing mostly by himself. It's always when things get dire and he enters his red life that he becomes very impulsive and erratic like an ankylosaur flipped on its back
3. I know there's a distinction between Traffic Joel and Empires Joel and whatever other Joel but... Even in death games his more charitable traits shine through here and there. He really becomes a dangerous rascal for a large majority of the time and he's very good at it, he's not putting on a mask or anything, but I like to remember that underneath that tough spiky armor is gentleness and caring. His care towards Lizzie and Pearl and Etho etc etc
4. The image of Joel as a hell of a spiky creature is just really fun to me. Yet heavy and blunt ones! And someone once proposed the idea of him having a club tail but having chiselled it to be sharp to mirror him being a menace. (Added benefit also that it's lighter that way haha) To me he's always been an obvious heavy hitter rather than stealthy or particularly creative etc. Him as a carnivore just doesn't work as well for me
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The name bares no fitting meaning but when I look at Bdubs I think of Psittaco. All other species close to it in looks are already ceratopsians and we have like... 3 of those already lol. Im sorry Bdubs you look so stupid
Cleo - Lythronax
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There's so few predators in this roster lol oops, but Cleo deserves to be an apex one! The name translates to "Gore King" because you know, zombies... and you know, Cleo is very king so true. If any of the Lifers should be able to boast rows of razor sharp teeth to gore others it should be ZombieCleo
Scott - Theiophytalia
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I've been really struggling with Scott but how about the dinosaur whose name translates to "Belonging to the garden of Gods". There's only one known specimen of this species and it's an Iguanadon looking dinosaur which I think a lot of people would regard as the most basic, possibly boring type of dinosaur (if it weren't for the Allosaurus which already takes the title of "basic straight white guy") but that further fits Scott imo. It's always been a strong point of appeal to me how MUCH there is to his character that so often goes under the radar or unexplored, and how he's very often portrayed as just some handsome looking guy as opposed to a hybrid etc. He's not at all extravagant yet has mastered his craft of bending fate in his favor, he so often has things perfectly under his control just as he wants them, etc... reflective of the name "Theiophytalia" even if you wouldn't think such a dinosaur to sport one of the most prolific names a dinosaur can have. Also garden something something flower husbans. Basically whatever Bree's take on Scott is lol. I don't wanna blab for 5 paragraphs about that blue mf here but. I hope this makes sense
Jimmy - Yinlong
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I struggled with this mf the most because he's another very hashtag deep character. I felt really bad to remove his bird motifs completely because the canary is so essential to him, but a raptor nor a pteradon fit my image of him at all. I spent so much time looking into various species but it just aint it, but Yinlong was possibly quilled and we can still cover him in feathers, even if he has nothing close to wings haha... BUT ANYWAY. Yinlong is a small kind of pathetic looking dinosaur, and Jimmy definitely isn't small but he'd sure be made to feel that way. Yinlong translates to "Hidden Dragon" however, a rather thought-provoking name for such a dinosaur. Given his character, it sure does feel like there's a soul of a dragon laying dormant somewhere in him, buried by all the self deprecation and curse labels. Honorable mention to Tianyulong, a very similar dinosaur who was named after a museum, but "Tianyu" also translates to peace and content. Something that Jimmy can't yet but deserves to be
Etho - undefined raptor
Already made a loong post about raptor Etho haha which I assume yall have seen since the support towards that post is the only reason I'm even making this post
Skizz - Olorotitan
"Titanic Swan" close enough to an angel right. I feel the whole angel thing is a bit overdone when Skizz can become a malicious little creature every now and then, but swans much like angels do get viewed as beautiful and taken as symbolism of love. Much like Skizz is largely viewed as an angel and often as someone who can do no wrong. But mostly I wanted Skizz to be a hadrosaur/duck-billed dinosaur, because those are dinosaurs known for their speculated vocalizations. And what is Skizz good at? Talking and voicing his love and appreciation? Yeah? Yeah... I'm so sorry Skizz btw this hybrid idea does not work out
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Again, a lot of these don't work so well as hybrids... Some like the long-neck ones I cant imagine to have more than a spiky spine back and a tail, but! These picks aren't based on hybrid potential but rather what I think genuinely fits. I did really work on this all day looking through a bunch of dinosaurs and research haha, but I do love dinosaurs a lot... If you disagree with any hey thats cool! Feel free to give me your opinions if you've any and I hope this was fun to scroll through regardless
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soobpricity · 2 months
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this love - kang taehyun
final letter ; kiss me
synopsis: what happens when soccer player!kang taehyun, who isn’t focused on school but is smart enough to pass, sees yn walk in the hallways nearly everyday after homecoming. taehyun’s new hallway crush begins to grow into something bigger, but what happens when he has to make a choice between yn or continuing to fail school ? will taehyun be able to focus on sports, classes, and trying to win yn over ?
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“yn this is so ridiculous.” beomgyu stated, pacing around in your room with you. a slick black tuxedo showed off his more sharper side, the side of beomgyu that would make just about anyone swoon. “you can’t just let him get away with the shit he pulled.
“i’m not letting him get away with anything beomgyu… i’m just making sure he’s serious about all of this.. and maybe i just need to make sure that if he isn’t serious then i won’t feel attached.”
“and you’re doing that by giving him the favor of spending an important night with him ?” beomgyu sighed, he knew that you just wanted to spend the night with taehyun. it was the thing that you were looking forward to throughout the past few months ever since taehyun had promposed, beomgyu knew that. he listened to you ramble on about how much taehyun cared for you and how magical you imagined the night would go. “are you denying the truth or are you lying to me ?”
you turned your head, as beomgyu took a seat next to you. you avoided making eye contact with him.
“i still like him.. beomgyu.. i just..- i know he didn’t have a choice. he did what he thought was good for me, and even if it wasn’t the right thing.. he still put me over his own self. y’know… it’s the thought that has me so stuck up on him. but i don’t want to let him win me over so easily, i want to hate him, but i can’t..” you admit, feeling a bit embarrassed from your confession to beomgyu. which he only put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in a bit.
“have you talked to sunghoon since y’know.. that day..?” beomgyu hesitantly asked as you pulled away a bit to make eye contact with the boy who sat in front of you.
“no.. i’ve been trying to talk to him but he’s been avoiding me. sunghoon’s a cool person and all, but i don’t think i ever saw him in that way.. y’know ?” you questioned, “even when i wasn’t with taehyun, i think.. i just always saw sunghoon as a friend.”
“don’t feel bad just because you didn’t have the same feelings, yn. that’s probably why sunghoon didn’t tell you, he probably knew that you’d feel so guilty over not liking him back. in fact, im surprised that you didn’t end up with him out of guilt.” beomgyu advised, a tiny smile reappearing on your face. you pulled beomgyu into a tight, warm hug.
“thank you so much, beomgyu.. for like- everything. you’re always looking out for me. and even though you don’t really like taehyun, you’re supporting my feelings.. and you always have.” you can’t help but feel your heart warm up from looking back at just how much beomgyu has been supporting you no matter what. everyone knew beomgyu as a silly guy who took nothing serious, but others knew beomgyu took him as this serious person who always showed empathy to those he loved. however, you knew the real beomgyu, the beomgyu who would give anyone the cold shoulder if they gave you the wrong look. the real beomgyu that constantly gave you a shoulder to cry on and would make you laugh the tears away. beomgyu wasn’t just funny or only sympathetic, beomgyu was a passionate person who cared about his loved ones, he wanted to see them laugh while also being sure to be the supportive person that he always wished to be. and he never failed at making you comfortable, you always felt like you could rant to him, and you always knew that you could tell him a terrible dad joke and he would still give you an impressive laugh which would only prove to be contagious as you would start a fit of laughter.
beomgyu was.. beomgyu. a kind hearted boy who was there for all the people he loved. if you were sure that you wanted to be with taehyun, then he was okay with it.
“that’s what i’m here for ! just, don’t replace me..” beomgyu mumbled into your shoulder. a small huff coming from your mouth as you suddenly pull away from the hug, catching beomgyu completely off guard.
“ha ! as if you’re replaceable !! you’re a one of a kind beomgyu !!” you jokingly argue, seeing beomgyu’s lips grow into a huge grin. just as the two of you were about to get into another rage of laughter, you phone rang, seeing the bolded letters read ‘taehyun 🚫’. you took a look at beomgyu then back at your phone.
“answer it !” beomgyu exclaimed, picking up your phone and handing it to you as you panicked to swipe the green phone button.
“hello..?” taehyun answered the phone wondering why there was no noise coming from your end. he fumbled with the buttons on his tuxedo, being sure to look his nicest for you.
“oh. hi !” you say a bit too aggressively even though you didn’t mean to come off aggressive. you nervously begin to bite at your lip, before stopping due to receiving a cold stare from beomgyu.
“yn.. i’m outside for whenever you’re ready..” taehyun mumbled into the phone, taking out a bouquet from the backseat of his car. he messed around with the petals ensuring that the bouquet looked as lively as it could.
beomgyu gave you one last look, “if you don’t think you can spend the rest of the night with taehyun. just give us as call.. and we’ll be by your side,” you grinned, thanking beomgyu for his kind actions and for offering his shoulder for support. beomgyu had proven himself to be your biggest supporter ever. you give him one final hug before hurrying outside, spotting taehyun. his eyes widened as he took a singular look at you. his heart pounding, his anxiety piling onto him as he took a minute to catch a breath, trying to find words to tell you.
“yn.. you look.. really really pretty..” taehyun complimented, sticking out a bouquet filled with different colored hydrangeas. a tiny smile on his face, he pointed to the pink hydrangeas, “pink hydrangeas are the most romantic flowers… umm.. they also resemble a beating heart..” taehyun mumbled the last part, his own heart beating at a rapid pace. he couldn’t mess this up at all, he had to make you happy no matter what. if you wanted him to spend thousands of dollars on a piece of jewelry then he was willing to go into debt for the rest of his life to make you happy. and taehyun was sure that he’d never regret that decision, especially since it was something that he was doing for you. if you wanted him to truly stay away from you for the rest of your life then he was willing to do so if it was going to make you happy. if there was anything in the world that you wanted or wished to happen, then taehyun was willing to do anything to make it happen.
“thanks..” you sent a tiny and awkward smile towards taehyun’s way. he reached out for your hand, which you hesitantly accepted, on the roof of his car, rested a small box. he opened it, a blue hydrangea peeking its petals out from the box. he picked up the flower from the box, attached to it was a pearly bracelet. taehyun’s placed the corsage onto your wrist. “what does this one mean..” you knew very well what a blue hydrangea meant, but something inside of you wanted to make sure that taehyun was on the same page as you. you needed to know that taehyun didn’t just get a blue hydrangea because he thought it was cute. luckily for you, taehyun did extensive research on hydrangeas, he didn’t stop for the first flower that he found. rather he took time to find a flower that you liked while knowing the meaning behind it.
“so many people agree that blue hydrangeas are really, really pretty.. but personally i’ve said things to you that i don’t mean… things that i regret ever even thinking about saying to you, so.. blue hydrangeas represent regret and apology. i’m sorry for everything i've done to you, sorry for all the pain i’ve caused you.. please be patient with me.” a soft smile appeared on your face, happy to see taehyun pass your test.
“should we just.. forget about everything ?” you asked, so far you were pleased with the way that taehyun was treating you, you were so impressed with everything that taehyun had done for you so far, in all honesty this was just the beginning. you wanted to spend the rest of the night with taehyun, happily. you at least wanted a remarkable prom night, and even though you wanted to hate taehyun, something inside of you just couldn’t bring yourself to truly hate the boy.. that very same thing inside of you told you that taehyun was the only person who could grant you a happy night. “at least for tonight..”
“if it’ll make you happy, we can do anything you’d like.” taehyun grinned, pulling you into a sweetly warm embrace. he grabbed your bouquet, placing it in the backseat of his car, before hurrying over to open the passenger door for you. which you gladly accepted, taking a seat in the passenger’s seat. waiting for him to come over to the driver’s seat, which you didn’t wait long for him to do.
the two of you sat in silence on your way to the venue, not much to say after taehyun had given his apology. you continuously looked at the corsage that taehyun had gifted you, eyes trying to hide just how much you loved it. the smile that you tried to hold back, the one that would give away all just how vulnerable you were to taehyun’s loving actions. everything that he had done so far was telling you exactly just how the night was going to end. how you were going to be back into your romantic dream of a relationship. taehyun noticed the look behind your eyes, a bit of relaxation running through him, his eyes staying on the road, yet a part of him still wanted to turn to look at your flustered state. your focus moved from the corsage to the dark blue sky, attempting to calm your flustered state down. you were nearly worried that taehyun could hear the intense pounding of your heart. it had been such a good minute since you had felt so.. loved.
you caught the passing scenery, beginning to melt into the current warmth that you felt emitting from taehyun and perhaps the nervous yet excited feeling that you felt deep down in your tummy. taehyun put the car in park as soon as he found parking outside the venue. you stepped outside the car, waiting for taehyun patiently as he walked around. hand in hand, the two of you walked towards the entrance of the venue taking out your ticket to show the two teachers who were waiting by the entrance to overlook any kind of people who were sneaking in. as soon as both you and taehyun gave them your names, they nicely welcomed you in, wishing you an amazing night.
“did you eat beforehand ?” taehyun yelled into your ear, attempting to speak over the music. you could barely catch what he was saying, nodding to his question, before asking him the same thing. taehyun just nodded, knowing that he was lying because he just couldn’t bring himself to have a meal, not when he felt so nervous and clammy. this entire time, he had put so much work and effort into your relationship, and all he could wish for was for tonight to go his way.
both you and taehyun spent sometime dancing with each other, quietly. the two of you were too afraid to say anything, afraid to break the oddly calm tension between you two. however, just as you left the dance floor.
you caught sunghoon’s presence, watching as he tried to pass by you and hoping to not grab your attention. however that seemed to fail as you grabbed a hold of his wrist, taehyun watching intently, feeling worried. had he done something wrong ? were you going to ditch him for sunghoon ? his overthinking began to overwhelm him, keeping his hand in yours. hoping that you wouldn’t call him out for his sweaty palms. it was impossible to not notice the clingy hold that taehyun had on your hand, worried that you’d leave him. you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, pulling him to your side.
“sunghoon ?”
“oh, yn.” you noticed ning ning by his side as she began to feel quite awkward. after sunghoon had discussed everything out with taehyun, he decided to take ning ning out as his friendly prom date. she didn’t mean to avoid you like sunghoon had suggested, but she did want to avoid any question about who she was going to prom with which eventually meant avoiding you and beomgyu, even taehyun as well. for some odd reason, she felt like she was betraying you by agreeing to sunghoon’s promposal.
“can we talk ?” you asked, giving a look between sunghoon and ning, trying to silently propose to talk alone. however you received a returning look from sunghoon to taehyun. you turned to look a him, holding onto his hand. a affirmative smile and a gentle shoulder squeeze was all it took to get him to stop worrying as much as he was. you followed sunghoon off to a more private area, less people surrounding you than where you were previously at. now you were in some sort of hallway that seemed to lead to the restrooms. two windows on the left wall and a painting hung in between the gap of the two windows. a small table underneath the painting.
“what do you want to talk about ?” sunghoon casually questioned, it nearly seemed as if the two of you had no issues to talk out.
“about me and you.. y’know exactly what i want to talk about ?”
“i do ?” sunghoon sarcastically answered, his eyebrow raised as he moved his foot, nearly playing around like a child.
“yes.. y’know, you liking me.. why are you avoiding me ? i’m sorry that i didn’t like you back, but i really loved you as a friend and i just don’t want us to fall apart due to such trivial issues.”
“well to you it may be trivial, yn. but this shit felt like the world to me. i helped you get through your breakup with taehyun and i know that he and i had this whole conversation about how he quite actually has your heart, but you need to give me some space, i can’t just.. i can’t just get over you so quickly. just trust me, a little more time to myself and i promise, we’ll be back to how we used to be, okay ?” he raised his eyebrows one last time before seeing you nod. “okay, don’t ruin your night because of me, i think taehyun wants to dance one last time with you.” sunghoon turned around and made immense eye contact with taehyun as you tried to see where he was looking at, as soon as you spotted taehyun, you went right into his direction. attempting to push through the crowd to get to taehyun, who ended up doing the same thing, meeting him in the middle of the crowd, tiny smiles created.
the two of you followed the crowd, hearing the supervisors countdown to their announcement on prom king and queen. you held taehyun nearby, even playing with his fingers, awaiting for the announcement to be made. the way that the two of you were together fooled everyone, it seemed as if nothing ever happened and as if nothing could ever happen to split the two of you apart. the body language was the same as to when you and taehyun were still together with only a few differences that only the two of you could notice, the only other difference was the lack of words that the two of you were barely exchanging.
“after counting all the votes, tonight’s prom king is..” your principal leads up to the answer asking for a drum roll before quickly announcing, “kang taehyun !!” you clap for the boy, immediately releasing him from your grasp. as he stood there, taking a minute to process everything. you ushered him up to the stage, before attempting to leave.
“yn.. don’t go just yet.” taehyun winked before proceeding to give back the spotlight to your principal. she gave a tiny smile, knowing that taehyun had worked rather hard for his plan to be fulfilled.
“and it’s only fitting to announce that tonight’s prom queen, is none other than, l/n y/n !!” the principal announced, you stood there stunned, seeing taehyun hold out his hand for you. for the past month he had spent time communicating with his close friends and any acquaintances to vote for you and him as both king and queen. spending time persuading his close friends to tell anyone they knew to vote for you. and to be fair, taehyun was the school’s sweetheart, it was impossible to not do as he kindly asked. you hesitantly took his hand, shyly walking up the stage.
you and taehyun had plastic crowns placed on your heads, a tiny smile on your face, unable to believe everything that was happening. you couldn’t believe that even the principal knew all about taehyun’s plan. slow music began to play, as you knew that the prom king and queen had to dance together, the two of you moved down to the center of the dance floor, placing you hand on taehyun’s shoulder, as he placed his hand on your waist. the two of you gently moved to the rhythm as everyone else followed, getting their loved one or even their closest friend and beginning to slow dance with them.
“i want you for worse or for better, i would wait forever and ever. broke your heart, i’ll put it back together.” taehyun nervously whispered into your ear, his hands caressing yours as he pulled away placing a small grin on his face. a ridiculous amount of butterflies filled your stomach, forgetting that you and taehyun were in the center of the dance floor. ignoring all the people around you, a giggle exiting your mouth as you realized exactly what taehyun was saying.
“are you serious ?” you spoke, a smile decorating your face as you looked into taehyun’s eyes. eyes filled with nothing but love for you, nothing you would refuse to accept.
“you’re really pretty.” taehyun commented, his ears beginning to burn after being caught reusing taylor swift lyrics in order to save his own relationship. he changed the subject, fixing the gem-filled crown that rested atop your head. his hand moved to rest on your waist extending the arm that kept your hand in his, his hand left your waist in order to move your hand onto his shoulder, before returning to your waist. as he began to move his feet to the rhythm.
“you’re so cute.” you broke taehyun’s long rampage of silence, a smirk returning to his face as his confidence was beginning to fade back into his life.
“but you’re even cuter.” taehyun brought his hand up to caress your cheek. a comforting atmosphere finally being resettled between the two of you. your trust running back to you, as you took his hand and gently guided him out of the crowded venue, exiting and catching a cold spring breeze. you saw the cherry blossoms that had petals falling off of the branches, already imagining the romance movie-like scene that would be created. taehyun couldn’t help but chuckle at your rather cutely excited state. running to the trees before finally facing him once again, hand in hand. you looked down before bringing your eyes up to his, taehyun looked ethereal in the moonlight, his features being brought to light by the streetlights. light reflecting off of the concrete road.
“so.. you’ve really made me realize so many of things taehyun. one.. you’ve made me realized that i really can’t live without you, even after everything and trying to see you in such a negative light, i had such a hard time hating you because it was just so impossible. it was hard to even think that someone who has loved me and treated me like no one else has ever cared for me could truly just be in this relationship for the academic benefits. another thing that you taught me is that, love truly blinds people. i think that i was so caught up in my own pain that i never really realized or processed the things that you said to me, that you broke up with me for my own good. looking back at it now, i get it, you just didn’t want to see me in pain, but you shouldn’t be the one to decide what happens to me. i know you were looking out for me, but we could’ve spared both of our feelings if we had better communication to begin with.. i shouldn’t have blamed everything on just you, it was also my fault, for not understanding..”
“yn.. you had every right to be upset, i said things to you that i didn’t mean. those things aren’t the best words to hear from someone who’s supposed to love you. just trust me when i say that i didn’t want to say any of that, trust me when i tell you that you’re the person who i, this is gonna sound really cringy and weird.. but i just, i want to spend my future with you..” taehyun frowns, beginning to fear that maybe he was planning way too ahead into the future than you were ready for. you’d never really thought about anything so far into the future as taehyun had. you’d only thought about enjoying the memories you were creating with taehyun. however, the more that taehyun’s words sunk into your mind, the more you realized that a future with taehyun wouldn’t be so bad. in fact, it seemed quite surreal. you could almost imagine it now, waking up next to taehyun, exchanging homemade packed lunches for each other. spending life with each other even through ups and downs, you were nearly sure that taehyun could never purposely want to hurt you. after all, everything that had happened was because of something out of his control. well not exactly, but you knew that if it wasn’t for that then taehyun would’ve never exchanged such cruel words to you.
your hands gave taehyun’s a small affirmative squeeze, looking at him with a wide smile. beginning to reach up onto your tip toes to reach his mouth. your lips pressing against his as you couldn’t help but let your happiness and excitement get the best of you. it was all just so- romantic. you didn’t care if taehyun’s words were cheesy, all you wanted was to make sure that he stuck by his words and that you would be able to spend the rest of your life with him no matter how many hurdles life would throw at the two of you.
you pressed your ear against taehyun’s warm chest. a happy smile resting on your face, a comfortable silence resting in the atmosphere. taehyun’s hands ran through your hair, soft tiny grin decorating his already handsome face.
you couldn’t be any happier, with taehyun back on your side, you knew that all of this was unbelievable. if someone told you in the beginning of the year that you would end up arm in arm with kang taehyun, you would’ve looked at them oddly. you with the school’s athletic sweetheart ? tutoring the sweet boy and getting to know him ? you would’ve been shocked to hear how on the first day of tutoring you would be absolutely enamored by kang taehyun. his once-hallway crush was now in his arms, as his lover. he couldn’t mess this up, he didn’t plan on doing so either.
“what’s your favorite flower..” taehyun questioned one last time.
“pink hydrangeas, it hasn’t changed. yours ?”
“i have a lot, mistletoes, petunias, primrose, lavender roses.. even red tulips.”
you looked at taehyun, feeling so fulfilled by his innocent confession, pressing one last kiss on his lips.
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©️soobpricity
red tulips : believe me. declaration of love
lavender rose : enchantment. love at first sight.
primrose : i can’t live without you
petunias : your presence soothes me
mistletoe : kiss me. affection.
this love taglist : @run2seob @soobadooba @soobnuuy @pockychuwu @crazynyctophilia @rencarnationofangel @esther-kpopstan @mrsyawnzzn @matcha-binz @michinri @hanstarrs @ariam-96 @pinkheadflowers @kittyhyuka @run4gyu @txnwvc
an: this is the last chapter or “letter”…. kinda sad but i had to finish it especially because i felt like i was less dedicated to writing this smau than i was with anti romantic. i just feel like this smau lacked a conflict even though i think it had a stronger conflict. i actually know what im doing for my next smau but i really want to write a good handful of chapters before posting because… i really don’t trust myself to be consistent. i will try to post one shots in between the time that it takes me to finish the smau. hint : it has to do with a poll i did a while ago. ALSO HOW DID YALL LIKE TXT’S COMEBACK ? I LOVE MIRACLE !! also who’s going to see txt !! i’m seeing them both days in rosemont 🤭🤭
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apollosdaydreams · 7 months
Note
I would like a request with Max Verstappen and Y/N are siblings. She is his younger sister and she is MotoGP driver and…
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Im sorry, I wasn't better.
Max Verstappen x Sister!Reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff, adult language 
Author's Note: Sorry if this isn’t 100% accurate. I don’t know much or really anything about MotoGP, but I will try my best. 
Wordcount: 1476 (kinda got carried away) 
DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to hurt Max Verstappen and the Verstappen family! This is just an imagine. Again this is in no way meant to harm the Verstappen family!
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Racing. Racing is something that you loved, something you lived for. Your family however always would put Max above you. Their reason to not care about your racing was that you are a girl, and girls don’t belong in racing, girls don’t belong to have a seat. No matter what you did, it wasn’t good enough for Jos, your father. You used to have a great relationship with your other siblings, especially Max. The bond you and Max had was something that couldn’t be explained. You two were closer to each other than you and your twin, Victoria. But as you two both got older, that bond broke. You both started to snap at each other easier, say nasty things to each other and never say sorry. You couldn’t take it anymore. The hate coming from your father, mother and your brother. You left. Moved out, when you turned 18. You cut off contact completely. Blocking their numbers and their social media accounts. You thought you were never going to see them again, oh how wrong you were.
Today was your 24th birthday. Today was also your home race. You were a part of the Red Bull KTM Factory Racing team, ironic. Everyone knew you were a Verstappen, they also knew you didnt talk to your family. People would ask, you wouldn't give them an answer no matter how much they begged. Everyone knew that the Verstappen kids were strong, powerful drivers. You were often being compared to your older brother, Max. When compared to him you would always tell the interviewer that you are your own person and you don't need to be compared to your older brother. 
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You quickly pulled on your race suit, shoes and gloves. Trying to shake off the fact that today was your 24th, you haven’t spent a birthday with your family in 6 years. You didn’t care though, they had torn you down, thinking you couldn’t do anything in life. That this dream you had was impossible. Oh how you proved them wrong. You were making history. You were the first female rider in MotoGP, and you were amazing, this was your rookie year and you have already won three races. You dealt with contestant hate, with MotoGP being male dominated. They thought that you definitely had to sleep your way up to the top. Which was something that was just a lie. Something to make them feel better about themselves. 
You walked over to your bike, you shook your hands in a way to calm your nerves. You stretched out one more time. Then you climbed on to your bike. You then drove to your starting point. P3. You stopped your bike and put your feet down beside you. You were taking deep slow breaths to calm your nerves. As this was your home race you had felt a lot of pressure on you. Once you heard the final beep, and the lights turned green you started to move. 
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You drove over to the number 1 spot, and got off your bike. You quickly put your hands up in the air and then ran to your team. You quickly hugged your team principal. As you hugged him you quickly thanked him. You then had to run off to the cool down room. Once it was time for you to go on the podium you walked out of the room and walked over to this lift, where they would lift you and your bike on to the podium. As you were being lifted you couldn't contain your smile, this was your first win at your home race. You have won a couple races in this season, but winning at home would always be a different feeling. You felt on top of the world. No one could wipe that smile off your face. Right? Once you got handed your trophy you raised it high in the air, with the biggest smile on your face. Once everyone else got their trophy you all three quickly put them down and grabbed the champagne. You then all started to spray each other, you ran over to your team principal to spray some on him as well. Eventually they stopped spraying. You wiped the champagne off your face and set the bottle down and picked your trophy backup. 
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You were now back in your team paddock, you were talking to one of your teammates when you looked up and you saw someone you thought you would never see, see in person ever again. Your father, mother, brother and sister all stood in front of you. Your teammate knew that you didn't have the best relationship with your family. Before he left, he patted your back and told you that he would be over in his room if you needed him. You didn't know what to do so you just nodded. You just stared at them, not knowing what to do or what to say. 
“Y/n, sweety. You did amazing.” Your mother said. 
“Yeah… thank you..” You said. You were starting to feel overwhelmed. 
“Mom, dad, we should let her breathe, let Max talk to her.” Victoria whispered. 
You were starting to tear up, but once the other three left and it was just you and Max you couldn't stop the tears from falling. You were both angry and sad.
“Why are you guys here?” You had asked Max.
“y/n- I, we wanted to apologize.” 
“Well don't you think you are about 6 years too late.” You said. You were starting to get more angry than sad. 
“I know y/n and I'm sorry, we shouldn't have ever treated you like that. We should have apologized years ago.” he said while taking a few steps closer to you. You didn't move.
“Why?! Max, why?” you said. “I wanted a family, a brother who loved me, but all you guys did was tear me down.” You started to cry even more. Your anger is now turning into sadness. “What did I do to make you guys hate me so much?” 
Max’s heart broke at what you were saying. He quickly moved over to you and hugged you. He was expecting you to push him back or hit him. He wasn't expecting you to hug him back. “I'm so sorry y/n I'm so sorry.” He kept repeating. You started to take a deep breath. Trying to calm yourself down.
“Max, I want to forgive you guys, or at least you and Victoria.” You started to say. “You guys were also just kids, mom and dad on the other hand, i think it's going to take a while to forgive them.” 
This was the last thing Max had expected. He was not expecting you to forgive him so easily. “I promise y/n I’ll do better, I'm the big brother. I'm sorry I wasn't better at it until now.” He told you, tears now falling down his face. You smiled up at him and wiped his tears away. “It's ok, I trust you to change Max.” He smiled back at you.
“Can you bring in Victoria? I want to be able to talk to her as well.” He told Max. He quickly nodded and ran to go get Victoria. Once you saw her you both ran to each other and gave each other a hug. You couldn't remember the last time you two have hugged, all you knew is that it's been way too long.  
“Y/n im so sorry, I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you, i'm your big sister that's my job.” She told you. You couldn't help yourself. “You are only 7 minutes older than me V.” You had told her. She couldn't help but smile more, and she hugged you tighter. You saw Max standing awkwardly at the door. You motioned for him to come closer. You then all hugged each other. After a few minutes of silence you started to speak.
“I think I'm ready to talk to mom and dad.” You said. “But I want both of you to be here.” They both looked at each other and nodded. Max then went to get your parents. You then saw both your parents walk through the door. You didn't know what to do. You haven't seen or spoke to your parents in years. Victoria sat down on the couch with you, you heard hushed whispers behind the door. The door then opened, Max was at the front and you could see your mom, Sophie and your dad, Jos standing behind Max. You didn't know what to do, your parents stood in front of you. They tore you down, made you believe you aren't worth anything, that women couldn't be in moto sports. You saw your mom walk towards you. You didn't know what to do, you didn't know what she was going to do. Your dad stayed a few steps behind her. Max was on the side waiting just in case anything would happen. 
“Oh sweety, you look amazing. You did a great job on the race! I'm so proud.” You never thought that you would hear those words come out of her mouth. All you wanted as a little girl was to hear that your parents were proud of you. She went to sit down next to you, but you moved away. You weren't ready to be this close to her yet. Your father looked like he didn't want to be here, that he would rather be somewhere else. Typical Jos. You thought to yourself. Sophie understood why you wouldn't want to be close to her, that it would be hard for you to forgive her and Jos. 
“Mom, dad….. I don’t think I'm ready to forgive you just yet. I think that you have to prove that you changed, or are willing to change.” You said, while looking down at your hands picking at your nails. 
‘Of course honey, I promise that we have changed.” Your mother quickly said. Jos was still standing, with his arms crossed over his chest. “Can we go to dinner tonight?” she suggested. 
“We can do that.” you said, while looking up at Jos, waiting for what he would say. 
“I would love to.” Jos said. You looked next to you at Victoria and then up at Max and smiled. Maybe they were going to change. Maybe now my family is going to be my safe place. 
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I hoped you guys liked this! If you did please let me know! Sorry if everything doesn't make sense. I don’t know much about MotoGp, but I tried my best!!
It would be greatly appreciated if you would like, comment and repost!! 
© 2023 on tumblr apollosdaydreams do not translate/remake/repost my works in any platform without authorized permission.
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partycatty · 4 months
Note
dark star johnny hatefucking his gf/bf over the balcony in his mansion, and acting like he’s gonna drop them off of the balcony if they misbehave in any way
this one has been SIMMERINGGGG in my inbox ive been too excited to write it LOLOL, also i changed this prompt just a smidge
dark star!johnny cage > fall for me
warnings: SMUT AS FUCK, UR LIFE IS BEING THREATENED BUT UR INTO IT LOL, again ds!jc is just literally insane !! also exhibitionism !! and also cnc !! jesus this man needs hella warnings!
notes: IM SORRY U GUYS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG YOU ALL HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT SO IM REWARDING YOU
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 6*
[ masterlist ]
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• dark star!johnny has a short temper, one he enjoys putting out on you. oftentimes, you didn't actually do anything, he's just mad at the idea of you going against him and that's typically enough to rile him up alone.
• this time around, you were a whopping ten minutes behind getting ready for one of his A-List parties. something about your makeup just didn't feel right no matter how many times you applied your eyeshadow or concealer, so adjustment after adjustment left johnny tapping his foot outside of the bedroom door.
• "baby~," he'd sing-song shout from the crack of the door. "this party is a big networking deal for me, and you're already fucking it up~!"
• "i didn't fuck anything up," you reply from the vanity seat, trying to focus on your lip liner. "we'll be on time, you baby."
• "don't you talk back to me!" he slams his palm again the wood, making you jump and, yet again, smear your liner. your lower your head to the vanity, bumping your forehead against the surface with a sigh.
• he eventually unlocks the bedroom door using his master key and ushers you out of the door with the temper of a toddler. his hand grabs your upper arm as you're placed into his luxury car and he drives off with a huff.
• johnny refuses to speak to you the entire time you're at the party, mostly ignoring you to bump shoulders with directors and writers. he wouldn't ever publically admit it, but roles were running dry as his agent turned up with no jobs, so he brought it up to himself to make some damn money.
• will probably call you the "ball and chain" or "the missus" in a super objectifying way as he gestures at you, trying to make the older higher-ups laugh. you had enough of it.
• deciding no longer to be his personal punchline, you wander away from the bustling, hot celebrity room and find a balcony. you were always the one to prefer fresh, open air and city skylines while johnny would rather be the one in the midst of the aforementioned city. you took advantage of this independence and leaned over the glass, savoring in the way the wind cools your damp skin.
• you only get to enjoy a few minutes in the quiet bliss before you hear the door slide open. at first, you expect it to be another partygoer hoping to squeeze in a quick smoke break, but you're horribly disappointed to be ripped from your tranquility by none other that your boyfriend.
• johnny stands at the door, fists clenched and jacket swirling in the wind. his eyes look dark, his brows furrowed.
• "where'd you go?" he asks, crossing his arms.
• you look at him like he's stupid (because he is). "the balcony?" you reply. johnny shakes his head.
• "that's not what i meant."
• "well, i left your side because i was tired of being shit on for an hour straight."
• "nobody's shitting on anyone!" johnny throws his arms in the air at your admittance, like he had no idea how cruel he was being. "they're just jokes! you're being dramatic. i thought you loved attention."
• "johnny-" you pinch your nose. "i have literally never said that."
• "but you show it! through your actions!"
• "oh my god, you're delusional," you turn away from him with a groan, trying to ignore the whiny bastard behind you. that proves a hard task when you hear his boots step up behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist and head buried in your neck.
• "you know i want you here," he mumbles into your skin, rocking you gently. you turn your face away from him, not falling for his charm.
• "you don't show it," you mutter in response, trying to take a step away from him but his grasp only strengthens.
• "i could," he hums, pressing his front to your backside. "or i could punish you for making us late."
• you swivel your head, craning your neck to glare at him. "seriously? now?" he breathes into your neck, agreeing breathlessly. "no, johnny. not here. people will see."
• "isn't that the fun part?" he grunts, grinding his hips into your ass. "don't be boring. you've been boring all night."
• his hands hike up your skirt hungrily, exposing your nearly-naked ass to the cold air. you shiver and yelp out, which only makes you jump back against him even harder. he shudders at the contact.
• "come on," he whispers, hands snaking up to squeeze your chest. "don't make me be mean. you know i don't like being mean to you." his fingers find your hardened nipples, massaging them with pinched fingers.
• attempting to crane your neck to ensure the balcony's doors are locked, johnny notices your diverted attention and holds your jaw, angling it out toward the city.
• "you see that?" he breathes, now fully grinding against you. "that's my city, baby. i'm the king of hollywood, isn't that right?"
• "i guess," you reply, gasping at his erection sliding against you.
• SMACK! johnny didn't like that answer. you lurch forward from the hard slap to your ass.
• "say it," he growls, biting your neck. "or i'm gonna make you."
• "you're the king of hollywood," your voice is comically flat, exhausted from always having to gas him up for the dumbest things. johnny picks up on your unenthusiastic tone and spins you around by your hips, sitting you on the balcony ledge. his lips latch onto your throat, sucking and biting hungrily.
• his fingers danced on your panties, sliding them aside. as much as you wanted to be annoyed with him, he is so unimaginably fine. and you're the type of person that likes to be manhandled. both traits he ate up.
• before you could say anything more, johnny's fingers dove into your mouth, collecting a good amount of your saliva before using it on your pussy, shoving two fingers inside making you cry out in surprise.
• "not here, right?" he breathes, savoring the way your breathing gets heavier and your skin warms from his touch. "then we'd better be quick. and quiet." his fingers scissor inside of you, making you moan with a hand shut over your lips.
• johnny was impatient, not finding any joy in fingering you, so he glanced behind him to ensure the coast was clear before whipping his dick out, holding his shirt up by his teeth. he lined himself up, eyes focused on your bodies merging rather than your expressions.
• didn't matter how many times you get it on, you will never be fully ready for how long his dick is. while not the thickest, it just feels seemingly endless as it's embracing your walls.
• he spins you around again, throwing your front over the balcony ledge and holding you by your hips. surely, if he were to let go, you'd fall. and it wasn't a short drop.
• "fuck," he hissed as his tip met your entrance. "i control you, isn't that right?"
• a distant "mhm" slips from your lips as johnny shoves himself inside again with a slapping thrust. his gasp slides into whimper territory as he bottoms out.
• "fuck yeah i do," he growls, now going at an unholy pace. he hated the progression of sex - it was either all or nothing. "could drop you right now."
• you're pulled from your lust when you look down, noticing the rocky way down to a small river. damn these celebrities and their hillside mansions. you swallow thickly, hoping he was joking.
• "please don't," you beg in a whisper, interrupted by gasps with each thrust. "please don't let go."
• johnny could only laugh loudly at your plea, bruising your hips with his grip as he ruthlessly pounded. he was sticking true to his word about being quick, because his breakneck pace was making your cunt flutter.
• "nobody would even notice," he moans, his shirt dropping from his teeth and falling back down his front. "i'm the star."
• "you're the star," you parrot in a sick mix of lust and fear. "you're my everything."
• "i could fucking throw you off for making us late. could drop you — haah — you like it when i play god, don't you? you wanna fall for me, baby?"
• his brows knit and eyes screw shut as he finds his release inside of you. you try hard to not laugh at the fact that his own dirty talking is making him close. his grip loosens as he concentrates, and you fearfully try to hold yourself against the balcony so you don't topple forward.
• "joh— john—" you worriedly look down again, your stomach flipping as it nears an orgasm - and potential death. "johnny, please—"
• "hmm?" johnny tilts his head, a cocky smirk on his lips and exposing his beautiful pearly white teeth.
• your brain feels torn in half. you want to beg him to hold on, but you also want to cum so badly. unable to decide on an outcome, your voice sputters out pathetic begs, not entirely coherent as your mind grows foggy with an overwhelming amount of emotion.
• thankfully, your body decides for you. your knees buckle inward and his hold on you tightens. you cry out, cumming around his dick as your voice echoes through the hills. you swear a flock of birds takes off from how loudly you orgasm.
• "haah — don't fucking fall—" johnny's hands pull you impossibly closer. "not when i'm clo— ngh —"
• you find no peace after finishing, just johnny's hips slamming into your ass as his pants grow uneven. it's not long before he spills inside of you, holding you there as you're filled up.
• johnny's the first one to pull away, pulling out and making you whimper from the emptiness. you turn around to face him, your ass still bare, red, and spilling with semen. his phone's in his hand when he snaps a couple photos of this puppy eyed look.
• "you look so pathetic," he laughs, the flash of his camera making you shield your eyes. "i bet hollywood heard those moans. all thanks to me."
• you pull up your own panties and johnny visibly twitches seeing a droplet of his cum seep through. shockingly, he places a quick, chaste kiss to your lips.
• "and you're welcome for not dropping you," he winks with a toothy grin, thinking it was some kind of joke. a deep, dark part of you knew he probably genuinely considered dropping you. you were just lucky you were only ten minutes late, who knows what he'd do if you were an hour late.
• as you're pondering your life and near-death experience, johnny returns to the party, waiting for you at the door. it would be best if you stuck by him for the rest of the party.
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shattersstar · 9 months
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ok but we need to hear more about college dick now👀👀
hehe ask and u shall receive because ohhh myyy dick in college is such a messsssssss but like so pretty it’s almost unfair
i love the idea of dick and a bunch of his friends getting a house together with the intent of being Normal for the first time in a while, which means being absolute menaces as most 20 smth yr old guys are
very much known for being a party house bordering a frat but all the guys r so nice that it’s rlly hard to think of them like that. it’s a space where he can let go, feel like himself and with the encouragement of his friends, dick puts the brakes on like relationship hunting and just has fun..
he’s been in pretty committed relationships since he was old enough to be and has always struggled with casual dating let alone sleeping with people he barely know. but when dick learns there r ppl out there looking for the same thing and not everyone wants to b the next future ex mr/mrs. grayson it makes it a lil easier to be his charming self with no bounds <33
and then he mets you and it’s the usual routine, flirting you to his bedroom which is in the basement—of course—well alllllmost doing so until you vanish out of his grasp for reasons dick cannot discern (you weren’t here for him silly)
and while he’s not like one of those oh i wanted to hit and couldn’t so im gonna chase you types, dick does have to reconcile with the fact your friends with roy and spend a lot of time at the house now
which also means he learns how cool you r and how goofy he feels for just tryna sleep with you
and despite his friends vouching for him you really only see (and have heard the numerous rumours) dick as a rich playboy and that’s not for you. plus he’s def a business or poli sci major……….but with a psych minor bc it feels the most practical despite how boring dick finds most of his classes
though when he realizes your both in a psych elective together he’s all toothy grins and obnoxious air which isn’t helping his case but of course he’s a decent student and when you mentioned hating statistics—you were stuck with the worse prof outta the two—dick jumped at the chance to help
you were sooooooo skeptical and even though agreed you kept brushing him off until dick just started helping you when you were over to hang out. he drops a textbook in your lap while sitting in roy’s bed or starts reviewing your notes and adding examples while your hanging out on the living room floor building lego sets with everyone else.
and dick did that a lot—sure it was his house and roy was his best friend along with all of his other housemates but dick never hesitated to insert himself into whatever you were doing when you came over. and it shouldn’t surprised you but everyone being so..unbothered by it had you confused. like maybe that’s how dick is but it spoke bounds to their closeness and was the First time you actually saw a little more to dick than just some campus hottie douchebag who threw parties to get laid
and while you weren’t about to tell dick that, you did start coming over with the intent of working on stats together. it usually meant dick having to re-lecture whatever your prof barely managed to explain and helping you with the page long equations needed for assignments
and dick keeps it as platonic as possible, on a mission to prove he’s not the person you think he is and not only because he wanted to be with you—well yeah he does—but because dick cares what you think about him. he knows his friends care about you and value what you have to say and he wants you to know it’s the same for him
and maaaybe you see that too but dick needs to suffer a little more
bonus: you talk to dick abt ppl you’re interested in at some point (either genuinely or to mess with him) when he insists on always hanging out with you and roy. and while he gives advice with a smile, still trying to prove his capacity for mature, platonic relationships, dick screams into his pillow later that night when he goes over the convo again and again and agai—
bonus bonus: he’s probably on the school’s gymnastics team <3
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outsideratheart · 2 years
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Deja Vu (Leah Williamson x reader)
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A/N: I cannot believe the response I got for Eyes Open. Thank you! I never planned on writing a sequel but i got sent an idea and I knew i had to write it.
Based off this request.
Part 2 to Eyes Open
You were told it would take a minimum of 6 weeks to recover from your head injury but the doctors said it could take longer. 2 weeks after the incident you got your stitches taken out and was cleared from your concussion. 1 week after that you starting training with Arsenal but Jonas refused to play you despite your constant begging. 
Soon enough a month had passed and you starting struggling with been on the sidelines. You loved being able to be an Arsenal fan but you wasn’t even on the bench. You were watching from the stands and with every game that passed you became more and more frustrated. 
6 weeks to the day you received a call from Sarina. She wanted to speak to you but asked that you don’t tell anyone. You were the starting number 10 for England and with the friendly against Germany coming up she needed you and wanted you in her starting 11. 
You told her you had passed every test and this was true but then she asked why you hadn’t played an Arsenal game. 
“I passed my tests and my scans are clear. They are scared” you were in a meeting room at SGP. Sarina on side and you on the other.  
“If you passed your tests, why are they scared?” Sarina asks. 
Truth is she had already asked the question to the staff at Arsenal. She knew the answer but she knew the only way you make the team is if she can trust you. 
“Because my head isn’t as strong as before. You saw the hit it took it was bad but the only way for me to get stronger is to put it to work. I’m ready Sarina. Watch me at training, you’ll see”
And watch you see did, like a hawk but Sarina failed in comparison to Leah, Lucy and Keira. Every time the ball hit your head they would pester you, asking if you were ok or if you needed a break.
You let them fuss and hover knowing that it made them feel better even though it made you feel worse. 
The morning of the game you started to get a headache. Did you think it was related to the injury? Of course you did but then you reminded yourself that everyone gets headaches and you overthinking won’t make it any better.
After the warms up you get ready for the game. You wait until every player is out of the locker room before putting some cooling gel on your forehead and hairline then take some paracetamol.
“You have a headache don’t you?” Lucy asks. 
You grab your chest in fright. Of all people to catch you it had to one of the three people you absolutely did not want to see you. 
“I’m fine Lucy. It’s only been a few days and I can already feel it going away” you try your best to reassure her but the look in her eyes tells you that it was a waste of time. 
“Are you being serious? Days! Im telling Leah. Hell i’m telling Sarina. You’re not playing” Lucy tries to leave but you grab her wrist, preventing her from doing so. 
“Lucia Roberta Tough Bronze. You will do no such thing. We need to win this game and you know the best way to do so is to have you and Leah on the back line, Keira in the middle and me up front.” You change your tone. You weren’t appealing to her human side, you were appealing to her player side and she couldn’t ignore it given that the game was due to kick off in 5 minutes. 
“You feel even a little bit off you call for a sub and go for a scan afterwards” this was her compromise. 
You don’t get the chance to respond as a member of the coaching staff comes to get the both of you. 
 It was a rematch of the euros final and England wanted go prove that the win wasn’t a fluke and Germany wanted to prove that they are better than the champions. 
It’s safe to say this lead to the match being very physical and intense from the first whistle. You had taken a few knocks courtesy of Giulia Gwinn so when the team was back in the locker room at half Leah is by your side asking you question after question. 
She strokes her finger over your scar. It was something she had been doing ever since you got your stitches out. When you asked why, she told you it was because it reminds that you are ok. 
“Leah” your word fell on deaf ears “baby, look at me. It was a few knocks but nothing I haven’t had before. I’m ok” 
You quickly steal a kiss before running back out to the field. 
“Something is wrong with her” Keira whispers to Lucy. 
Although she doesn’t respond, the look on her face speaks volumes. 
“What is it?” Keira asks. 
“I saw her earlier, before the game started. She was taking paracetamol”
“Her headaches are back?”
Lucy nods even though you never told her. 
“What do we do?” 
“We let Y/N manage this. She knows her body and mind better than anyone. Just keep an eye on her” 
“I can do that” Keira’s eyes scan the locker room before stopping on her best friend “do we tell Leah?” 
“No” the certainty in Lucy’s tone tells Keira how serious she is. 
Throughout the second half, the couple watches you as much as they can whilst playing the game. 
During a Germany free kick you are told to get in the wall. You see the ball come at you but you don’t have the chance to move and it hits you square in the face. 
“Y/N!” Leah comes running towards you as play is stopped.
“Ooo, that stings” 
The medics are soon by your side. They do a quick check and are happy for you to continue playing. You see Sarina eying you up from the sidelines. She makes the sub signal and you shake your head. 
From then on the team sees the affect the hit has on you. Your moves are sloppy, you aren’t running as fast. You are the most vocal on the pitch but after the freekick you are silent and they notice you are avoiding heading the ball. 
After a Germany corner Mary quickly clears it and sends the ball up the field where you are normally making a run. The whole team push forward to make the most of the play given that there isn’t long left in the game. 
You hear the crowd erupt as Meado slots the ball into the back of the net. It is the last thing you hear as the ringing in your ears gets louder and louder. You take a knee as you try to focus but it doesn’t work. You are unable to balance and you fall back on the floor. 
“Y/N!!!” Mary sprints over to you “ MEDIC!!!“ she rapidly waves her hand. 
The celebrations come to an abrupt end as each England player on the pitch runs towards you. 
You lay there unconscious. Your body limb and the only solace comes with the fact that they can see your chest rise and fall. 
“No, no, no. Not again” Leah kneels down behind you and lifts your head onto her lap. She moves the stray hairs out of your face. 
“Y/N please wake up. I can’t do this again” Leah begs you as tears fall freely down her face. 
The medics arrive and once again Leah, Lucy and Keira stay by your side whilst the others players give you space. 
“I don’t understand. She has been fine for weeks. She passed every test why would this happen?” Leah asks to no one in particular. 
Keira looks at Lucy and defender knows what she is thinking. 
“Did she take any knocks we didn’t see?” The medic asks. 
“No. She was perfectly fine”
Again Keira looks at Lucy. The older player takes a deep breathe. 
“She had a headache before the game” 
Leah’s head snaps up in the direction of the woman who is talking. The look of betrayal covers her face. 
“She said she has had it for a few days” Lucy can feel Leah’s eyes burning into her but she refuses to meet her gaze. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Leah voice is low and stern. 
Lucy shrinks in her place. Just as she is about to speak Keira cuts her off. 
“She didn’t want you to worry. Y/N told her not to tell you” 
“You — Ke — you knew and you didn’t tell me” the anger that Leah was feeling gets replaced by hurt at the thought of her best friend keeping something this important from her. 
As the three of them go back and forth you slow regain consciousness. Leah is arguing that they should have told her whilst the couple argues that they were doing what you wanted. 
You begin to regain consciousness. 
Deja vu. That is what they call it. That is what you are feeling. You know the the voices before you see their owners. 
You feel drops of water on your cheeks. When you look up you realise that they are tears and they belonged to Leah. Once again she was trying and it was your fault. 
“Hey” you reach up and awkwardly grab her shoulder. 
“Great you’re awake. Get her off the pitch. Don’t let her lie to you!” You can hear the hurt in her voice. 
You are about to respond but she walks to the sidelines for a drink.
You try to get to your feet but the blood comes rushing to your head and you stumble back again. 
Lucy grabs your arm to steady you but you brush her off. 
“You told her” you snap. 
“You passed out on the pitch again. You were unconscious again. I didn’t have a choice” 
“Yes you did. You —“ once again you feel light headed. 
The medics put a stop to the conversation or more appropriately the arguement that you and Lucy were having. They usher you to the tunnel. You try to grab Leah’s hand as you pass her only  for her to recoil from your touch. Your head was pounding, you felt sick but knowing that Leah didn’t want you to touch her, that hurt the most. 
“I’m sorry” you whisper. 
“You need to get checked over. Go” 
You get examined by the medics then they leave you on the physio bench. They turn the light out as they leave. You hear the final whistle blow and cheering. England must have won. 
The sounds of boots on the hard floor get closer and closer. You can hear the team in locker room and you’re not sure who you want to see first. Well you do but you’re not sure she will want to see you. 
“I’m mad at you” 
You could only see her silhouette but it was more than enough. 
“Would it make it worse if I say I plead the fifth” you say playfully. 
“Yes it would” Leah turns the light on without warning. The brightness makes your headache worse. 
“Hey!“ you quickly cover your eyes. 
As Leah walks closer to you she takes her boots off as to reduce the noise. The notion lets you know that she wasn’t really mad with you. She was using her angry to cover her fear. 
“You were getting headaches again” 
“Normal people get headaches Leah”
“You’re not normal”
“Thanks” 
“That’s not what I mean and you know it” 
You did but you really didn’t want to talk to her about this. You knew that you would only scare her if you did. It was the reason why you kept it  secret in the first place. 
“I want you to know I’m telling the truth when I say I didn’t think it was serious. It was only a headache then on the pitch, i don’t know, it happened so fast” 
When you sit up you are meet with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. 
“You are ok. I can see it in your eyes” you see Leah visibly relax upon her realisation. 
“I am but they still want me to go for scans. I told them I needed to speak to you first” 
Standing to your feet, Leah grabs your waist. She looks into your eyes and moves her fingers whilst telling you go follow it. This simple test is one she saw the doctor do time and time again. She starting doing it whenever she needed reassurance that you were ok. 
“I’m not the only one you need to speak to. You owe both of them an apology” 
“I know” 
You leave the physio room and enter the locker room. You scan the room until you come across the two people you are trying to find. 
You see Keira standing in front of Lucy as the old player wraps her arms around the midfielders waist. 
“I’m sorry I snapped at you” you say as you reach her locker. 
“Apology accepted. How’s the head?” 
“I feel like I have the world’s worse brain freeze” 
All of a sudden Lucy stands from her locker and pulls you into her arms. 
“Don’t do that again” it was a warning but you knew she was coming from a good place. 
“Im sorry to you too Ke. I shouldn’t have put you in a position where you had to lie to Leah”
“You didn’t. She did” Keira point to Lucy. 
You look at your best friend and laugh. Your girlfriend was mad at you and hers was mad at her. 
“Looks like we’re both in the dog house. Fancy swapping room mates?” You joke. 
“Absolutely not!” Leah cuts in “you are not leaving my sight until you have a full bill of health” 
When Sarina comes into the locker room she tells you that you won’t be playing the next game and that she will be going to the hospital with you so that she can know for sure what condition you are in. 
“You’re in trouble” Leah whispers in your ear. 
“Trouble’s my middle name” you kiss her cheek before you begin getting change “care to help me take my shirt off” you raise your eyebrows playfully. 
“If I must” 
Leah happily strips you off your shirt. She carefully lifts the material over your head and placed a gentle kiss on your scar. 
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newestq · 1 year
Text
⋆。゚☁︎ p1h jealous headcannon, requested
゚☾ ゚。⋆ lowercase intended, send in your requests
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
୨ yoon keeho, ୧
ꕥ ignores you 'cause oh boy don't know how to cope.
ꕥ you try to get his attention, but he doesn't even bat and eyelash towards you.
ꕥ he's trying to distract himself but finding anything to do in the kitchen.
ꕥ "fine, be that way. i'm going hang out with intak.
ꕥ "yeah, bet you'd rather hang out with him, huh?"
ꕥ you're both kind of shocked at what he said.
ꕥ "what's your problem?"
ꕥ "what's my problem? you've been attached to intak's hip all day!"
ꕥ "i played a video game with him and that made you jealous?"
ꕥ "i'm not jealous!"
ꕥ jiung eventually joins the conversation, and you both make fun of him as he tries to prove his point.
୨ choi taeyang, ୧ (gender specific.)
ꕥ classic "jealous? me? no."
ꕥ but oh yes he's jealous.
ꕥ he doesn't think it's fair that as a girl barista, guys should be able to order from you.
ꕥ call him toxic and he might agree.
ꕥ rolls his eyes every time a guy walks up to the counter.
ꕥ it's genuinely so bad.
ꕥ you've kind of noticed his sour mood, so on your break, you walk over to him.
ꕥ "what's up?"
ꕥ "what's up? so i'm your bro now?"
ꕥ "my what?"
ꕥ "nah, it's fine man. go with your other boyfriends."
ꕥ you find him humorous.
ꕥ "see you tonight, babe."
ꕥ "nope! you won't see me! i'm leaving you!"
ꕥ yeah, y'all watched frozen while eating chocolate covered strawberries.
ꕥ he ain't leaving you that easy lmao
୨ choi jiung, ୧
ꕥ the type to feel guilty that he feels jealous.
ꕥ he doesn't mean to, and he immediately apologizes.
ꕥ "baby, i'm sorry. i promise i'm not overprotective."
ꕥ "literally wtf are you talking about?"
ꕥ "when you laughed at taeyang's joke, i got so mad. idek why."
ꕥ "his jokes are funnier than yours."
ꕥ "you know im not sorry anymore."
ꕥ you give him more and more reasons to not feel guilty.
୨ hwang intak, ୧
ꕥ clingy.
ꕥ will literally not let you go/leave his sight.
ꕥ not even to use the bathroom.
ꕥ best believe mf is sitting on the sink, scrolling through his phone.
ꕥ "intak. i know you're not happy because that girl flirted with me, but can i please shit in peace."
ꕥ "no. what if she finds you and takes you from me."
ꕥ "intak please let me use the bathroom alone. we're at home."
ꕥ "she might've followed us. i won't look. see."
ꕥ he faces away from you and scrolls through tik tok.
ꕥ you kind of wish he'd be the type to ignore you 💀
୨ haku shota, ୧
ꕥ doesnt really get jealous.
ꕥ he trusts you, and you trust him, so thats enough.
ꕥ and he doesn't really think anyone is cool enough to catch your attention.
ꕥ i mean, what other minecraft pro do you know?
ꕥ what other awesome freestyle dancer do you know?
ꕥ who do you know that loves fries as much as you??
ꕥ exactly.
ꕥ you wish he would get jealous.
ꕥ "someone just asked me for my phone number."
ꕥ "y/n, you signed up for updates for the store. of course the cashier needed your number."
ꕥ "shota please get jealous once."
୨ kim jongseob, ୧
ꕥ wouldnt even realize he's jealous
ꕥ he'd just have this strong feeling towards you and he'd just accept it.
ꕥ like wouldnt even know whats going on.
ꕥ he's probably go to the members freaking out.
ꕥ "idk why i feel this way, like just thinking abt them hanging out with their best friend makes me upset. why!! thats their best friend, i dont have a say on who they can or cannot hang out with, but my god does it piss me off when they do."
ꕥ "seobie, that my friend is jealousy."
ꕥ "jealousy? how do you know?"
ꕥ "cause i feel it every time jiung gets center."
ꕥ "intak..."
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
i wrote this at 10:18pm....
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newtlesbian · 10 months
Text
i have such a powerful love for hermanns aesthetics i love old tech and and how it fits with his character. finally the old fashioned archetype but still a tech genius. not enough people go that alan turing style scientist route in Every way like hermann. with their old fashioned characters its always like bleh i wear sweater so i dont know computer bleh but they fucking should because hermann………. oh hermann.
he Coded those fucken big ol robits. hes the realest dude out there i need him. im bored of that urge some people have to treat computers as more modern when the historical aspect is more interesting. plus hermann was born in 1989 anyway so like lol. and the aesthetics of the pacrim world are different than ours. earth but sexier
i love picturing him with antique machinery and old computer monitors and surrounded by rust and dust. its what guillermo del toro calls “gothic tech” and “ww2 inspired” thats the foundation of what pacific rim is visually and everything about it describes hermann exactly. all those interesting beautiful machines. i dont care about pristine unused nonpractical ugly brandnew shit what i want is some real sexy old bricks with some genuine substance and weight to them that have proved theyre worth it. again hes the realest
there are scifi holoputers but still classic pacrim. cool scifi projector but coming from that same old tech. something unexpected below the rough surface. another hermann description. also how he is newts other half. hermann is the part who works in theoretics and numbers and coding and predictions and more intangible abstractions not things that can be physically touched (hand phasing through the projection of light. this all circles back to his own rough exterior & withdrawn closed off nature) unlike newt who is slanging glowing tanks of organs and physically touching machinery assembling with dirty hands and slicing into flesh while splashing blood.
the tech is all Old and just by the fact that it exists while looking so old fashioned actually says its Sturdy and Dependable and Capable and more Meaningful underneath the layers that appear stuck in another time. it looks that way as contrast to show it has Survived and Fought long enough to get the HONOR to appear out of date. it doesnt need to change. again all words to describe hermann. the rust is her battlescars. i love u sexy old tech aka i love u hermann. and to think a five paragraph post can be inspired by me joking that he would crank it to a video of antique crank pencil sharpeners from 1890-1920 <3
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im thinking abt totk and skyward sword… in both games u have a beloved female character trapped in the past who needs to deliver a message to our hero in the future and so she makes a dire sacrifice in order to see this through… only when impa did it i actually felt something… AND they had the stones to make her sacrifice permanent (ie impa not only grows into an old woman but straight up dies at the end. or turns into dust at least. potato-potahto). there r just so many moments in totk that echo those in previous games without understanding why those story beats work. anyways the cringefail totk vs the chad skyward sword
so true!!
also part of the reason skyward sword works is it’s a much tighter story. it’s focused thematically and in terms of character, unlike totk which is all over the place with a ton of characters none of whom get any development despite supposedly playing large roles in the story and taking up enough screen time for you to be annoyed with the fact that you’re sitting through the same exact cutscene four times.
and on the topic of impa and zelda as parallel story beats in terms of time travel – impa’s sacrifice has something to say. she could technically just tell link everything he needs to know in the future, she could just time travel to said future and orchestrate events from there as her younger self (as she does), she could explain things to link directly – but she doesn’t, and that’s because of characterization. firstly, the reason she stays at the temple until she’s an old lady instead of just using time travel again is because she’s a devoted servant of the goddess: she’s not just there to wait for link (or zelda), she’s there to watch over the temple, too, she’s a religious servant not just for this one time, she doesn’t just serve link and zelda, she serves the goddess in all her forms.
secondly, the reason she doesn’t tell link everything is because she believes he needs to prove himself. this is another layered part of her characterization: we see her different relationships to other characters, with added complexity of the fact that we see two versions of her react to link: young impa at first regards him with derision, a distaste and harsh judgement of the fact that he’s not ready, he hasn’t proved himself as someone with enough power and skill to protect zelda. old impa similarly believes he isn’t ready yet, however her attitude in this belief is much more that of a wise old lady who kindly wants to see him mature, out of a belief in fate and worthiness coming with time. she won’t give him answers, however she will help him find them.
so, when these characterizations combine in her death it’s tragic but also beautiful: the reason she ultimately dies is because her duty has been fulfilled, and she believes that she is not fated to continue existing in this time, as her prime has passed and her jobs are done, she goes with the dignity of a wise servant.
zelda’s sacrifice, however. firstly it completely disregards one of her defining traits: her curiosity and love of research. rauru literally says that becoming a dragon is a last ditch effort and he believes that before that they must research and understand her power, at which zelda lights up, and yet we never actually see her attempt any of this research or mastering of her power. she seemingly becomes more powerful between cutscenes, yes, however there’s never a scene of her actually training, or trying to do any sort of research or brainstorming solutions. we were simply not shown that she’s exhausted every other option, we were not shown her use one of her strengths (her curiosity and intelligence) to solve the problem, she went with the first solution provided to her.
what does this do to her characterization? shows she’s devoted to link? she’s willing to sacrifice herself to save everyone? cool, nice. ignore all her complex characterization from botw to make her a typical perfect female character defined by her dedication to the male hero. thanks.
this kind of sacrifice could’ve worked hypothetically - if we were shown, for example, her trying and exhausting every other option it would’ve given this story beat a sense of desperation, tragedy (botw hits a similar beat). instead it’s just. underbaked.
it’s only made worse by the fact that the sacrifice is pointless in the grander scheme of things. you literally do not need the master sword to defeat ganon. skyward sword never had to encounter difficulties marrying its gameplay to its story because of its staunch linearity, and botw just? wasn’t stupid? like idk making zelda’s sacrifice be actually vital to the story and defeating the villain is such an easy task the only way i can explain this is the devs were dumb as rocks in trying to marry a more classic epic story with botw’s non-linear structure. like. the fact that you can just ignore all of that and defeat the villain anyway really undermines the story beat doesn’t it. in botw ignoring the main story and gunning it straight for the villain doesn’t really undermine the story, it just makes you see it through a different lens: zelda asks “do you really remember me?” and your genuine answer is “no”. isn’t that cool? isn’t that impactful in its own right?
totk just couldn’t reconcile any of its multitude of elements in a coherent manner. it’s just bad. it’s so shit i’m sorry i cannot write totk posts without devolving into a blubbering mess of “fuck shit fuck”
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lesbianshadowheart · 7 months
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I would truly, truly love to hear your takes on the bg3 relationship quadrant network analysis you have done pls
OKAY so. idk if you'd seen it but this is what i made like a couple weeks into the game
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and i STAND BY IT!! although one caveat is that this is an early-game state as for instance Shadowheart's and Lae'zel's relationship gets more complex and mutually appreciative later on. But let's go thru this one by one
so the initial relationship between SH and LZ is a PRIME example of kismesitude. their hate and attraction is almost fateful in nature, considering their narrative opposition and hidden layers of similarity. It even comes to a tipping point and they try to kill each other and the player has to come in and auspistice. I do see the potential for <3/<3< vacillation later on or even either a stable <3 or <3< relationship as they settle their differences
Lae'zel is also in a dire need of a moirail and of course the player can fill that role but just among these characters? It would have to be someone she respects enough and who is willing to curb her aggression. Shadowheart would be the best candidate but they want to fuck each other too much for it to work. Karlach would work BUT K also needs a moirail to cool her down sometimes and Lae'zel simply is not that!! I've had several comments saying it should be Gale but I honestly don't know if she respects him enough. sorry. maybe there is pale beauty there im not seeing feel free to prove me wrong
SH<3Karlach is clear and self-explanatory they would simply be in a passionate, healthy relationship. Karlach's moirallegiance with Wyll could also potentially veer into <3 territory but I honestly see them as BESTIESSSS the most, hey're like, queerplatonic to me. they respect and appreciate each other, neither of them really needs the 'stop murdering people' aspect of moirallegiance but Wyll can cool Karlach down if she gets too emotional and I think Karlach could teach Wyll to love himself. Millions of brave Wyllach warriors out there saying it better I'm sure.
Astarion<3/<3< Wyll is literally just what that post said. They have a poetic, almost fairytale-like quality to the duality that comes from how each of them relates to their identity as a 'monster'. The'd be at odds morally of course, but could fix each other eventually, and of course they would be attracted to each other but I think Wyll would think he SHOULDN'T be into an immoral vampire, and Astarion would be like I don't ACTUALLY like him im just like...objectifying him (not true), contributing to the pitched aspect of their relationship
And Shadowheart <> Astarion is just so close to my heart. They are a set of airpods to me. SH has both a capacity of meanness and manipulation that Astarion can appreciate and the boundless compassion that he needs. they are siblings, they alre mlm/wlw solidarity. They would support each other fully without any judgement on what the other has done and also be such cunts to each other. They are mean to people together. argue with the wall honestly
And Gale is making soup<3
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sips-tea-cutely · 2 years
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Can you write sdr2 boys if they were dating an ultimate spirit medium? Personality is cheery, bubble, outgoing, stubborn, and overbearing!
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Sdr2 boys dating a bubbly ultimate spirit medium
a/n: the sdr2 cast is so hard to write :distressed:
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#Hajime Hinata
he finds every ultimate cool, what do you think 😨😨
wouldn’t be really TOO interested in your talent pre/during killing game.
i feel like post-danganronpa, he’d really want to talk to chiaki but he knows he needs to move on so he decides against it, plus he was you after all. why talk to your dead bsf when you have an alive s/o 😐😐
ANYWAYS, during the killing game, he’d def be running to you for hints and to be his investigation partner (along with chianki, detective trio!!) after nagito went nuts
imagine if your a bit like toritsuka from saiki k, he’d definitely freak out if you could see ghosts in his dorm 😰😰
#Byakuya Twogami
imposter would find you… interesting to say the least???
how can someone be so cheery while talking to dead people 😟😟 they genuinely wanted to know but like they remembered they were dressed up as byakuya
“what foolishness. how can one be so exuberant and happy-go-lucky whilst having such a dreadful talent? tch…”
pls answer them, they need to know/gen 👁👁
#Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu
“hey fuyuhiko, theres a spirit named _____, they want to s-“ “👁👁”
HASHSH ok but besides that, he’d find it pretty interesting tbh
post-trial 2, he’d ask you to mediate a conversation between him and peko as a final goodbye. after that i think he’d finally be satisfied and would move on
i feel like post killing game fuyuhiko would ask you if natsumi is okay, still not over her 😪😪
tbh though, at first i think he’d be terrified to approach you cause like what if one of the people he’s hunted down wants to talk to him? what then, would they be angry??
#Gundham Tanaka
help i think this would boost his god/chuunibyou complex 💀💀
“AHA, KAZUICHI, YOU HAD ONCE SAID THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE UNDERWORLD, BUT S/O, THE SUSTAINER OF HEAVENLY PRINCIPLES’ ULTIMATE TALENT ITSELF PROVES ITS’ EXISTENCE”
i feel like in the non-despair/UTDP AU, he’d brag about it to people that are kinda similar/related
omg youre the ultimate anthropologist who does seances? too bad, s/o is better. ultimate prisoner? yea, s/o could totally find the people you killed
omg ok but he really does love you sm, not just for your talent, would def love how you’re so cheery despite having such a despair-inducing talent
im praying to god that you also get into his false reality cause you’d be defending his little reality from kazuichi and i swear, i heard his heart skip a beat (im cham-p btw 😍😍)
#Kazuichi Soda
he’d find you pretty cool tbhh
i dont think that your talent would change any of his feelings but he’d definitely think its interesting
tbh i think he’d try to make devices to help make your talent a little bit easier like maybe a little spirit box or incense scent releaser
i feel like you’d have a thing where you refuse to accept his gifts but his love language is giving gifts and receiving words of affection so yea, it’d be little lighthearted fights aww <33
like i said, nothing would change, as long as you love him <33
#Nagito Komaeda
oh my god, youre amazing 😨😨😨
he would definitely use you as an example to everyone else for what it means to smile at despair in the name of hope
nagito for sure has a lot of people he’d like to talk to; maybe his parents or even his dog would be enough 😞😞 but i feel he’d be scared to do it for two reasons;
1: youre an ultimate! why should a talentless and worthless human being like him even get to ask you for a favor? to him, he seems to be very selfish for even thinking of asking for that
2: he also doesn’t want you to think that he only cares for you to use you as a medium to talk to his parents. sure, at first, he admired you for being a symbol of absolute hope but after getting to know you, he truly fell in love. and the longer he fell, the less of a need to cling to the past as long as his final wish was fulfilled; to be loved by someone before he dies.
#Nekomaru Nidai
YOUR TALENT IS SO COOL OFKFDJN
he would think that training would lowkey make your skill much more easier to practice
he wouldn’t really be too interested in using your talent for his own purposes but he would constantly push the ‘s/o uses their ability to solve the trial’ agenda WJSJSJS but monokuma didn’t allow it
would also ask a bunch of questions about your talent— does it give you a headache, how many spirits can you take, etc
AJSJSSJ im sry i cant think of alot 😭😭
#Teruteru Hanamura
ok i actually have a lot of ideas for teruteru.
so pre/during killing game, he wouldn’t really do anything about your talent, why would he, he’s a chef!
when ibuki suggests to use your talent to talk to byakuya’s spirit, teruteru would almost lose his cool and release his accent (he thankfully didn’t)
and also thankfully, monokuma banned you from using your talent since it’d make the trial boring if they all just relied on you
and then post killing game i feel like he’d ask you to help him talk to his dead mom since im pretty sure its hinted that shes dead
also also omg youre his personal taste tester and i swear to shuichis baseball cap that it’s all food wars clothes-removing inducing kind of good like *chef kiss*
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