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mirrortouchedsea · 20 days

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(CW for Suicidal Ideation)

Hinata’s breath was heavy as he landed the final move of their act. The tinny music playing from their speakers went quiet and the audience clapped politely. It was always the same song and dance as the crowd moved on with their day. A few of them tossed some yen their way but otherwise it was time for them to regroup for their next performance. Yuta knelt down by the hat with some coins and bills sticking out of it, counting their earnings thus far.

“Hey aniki! We might be able to eat well tonight! There’s like 3,000 yen in here!” Yuta exclaimed. The idea of a filling dinner made Hinata’s mouth water. Oh what he wouldn’t do for even warm noodles not from a cup.

Hinata turned to grab the iPod from its place on the speaker, choosing the next song to play. He put the phone back and turned the volume up a little more to play over the evening rush. The music started and he and Yuta moved in unison around their little stage, taking in the crowd. There were some regulars that Hinata recognized, the businesswoman who was perpetually tired but always stopped for their performances and a few kids who looked up at them in awe as their parents were trying to usher them away. There were always new faces too, of course people traveled across the country all the time or took new trains or moved cities, but there was something different about the boy with the bright red hair at the back of the crowd. His sky blue eyes pierced straight through to Hinata’s heart and made him stumble when their gaze connected with his own.

“Hey, aniki focus! We’re almost done, don't fail on me now!” Yuta whispered, carefully shielding Hinata from the crowd as he regained his footing. Yuta was always so quick thinking. Hinata got back to his position and finished up the routine, eyes looking for that boy he had spotted earlier. He half hoped the boy would come talk to them afterwards while they were packing up for the evening, but when he finally saw that shock of red hair, it was moving away with the rest of the crowd.

Hinata sighed, disappointed. Maybe that boy would come back someday. There was something about him that drew Hinata in.

Someone bumped his shoulder, drawing him from his thoughts. “Hey, aniki, are you alright? You seem out of it today.” Yuta’s hand rested on his shoulder and Hinata couldn’t help but smile. Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around, the older brother checking in on the younger one?

“Hey hey everything’s fine Yuta-kun, don’t worry about me. I was just thinking about that delicious dinner you’re treating us too~” He playfully pushed back on Yuta, the red haired blue eyed boy all but forgotten now.

“Hey! It’s technically our money so I’m not treating you to anything!” Yuta scowled but the smile in his voice was obvious to Hinata.

“Hehe, then dinner’s on me! Say ‘thank you aniki!’”

---

It was a week before Hinata saw the red headed boy in their audience again. He had all but slipped his mind, but those striking blue eyes were impossible to forget. Yuta was introducing their next performance which allowed Hinata to take a better look at the older boy who had made his way to the middle of the audience. He was tall and what Hinata could see of his outfit seemed ill-fitting at best, along with a headband holding his hair away from his eyes.

Hinata scrambled to his position as the music queued up and let his instincts take over. Every so often he found himself glancing at the red haired boy, trying to see what he thought of their performance, but his face revealed nothing.

Why was he so focused on this one boy? It’s not like they didn’t have strangers who watched them sometimes, and none of them had caught Hinata’s attention quite like this boy. He really couldn’t be much older than Hinata, maybe 17 at the oldest. Was he an older brother too? The boy’s eyes made contact with Hinata’s and it took everything in him to not look away.

Once again however, Yuta snapped him out of whatever trance he had been in and everything was forgotten.

“Are you really okay aniki? You’ve been out of it a lot recently…” Oh how it pained Hinata to see the concern on Yuta’s face. Nothing was even really wrong per se, but Hinata was distracted nonetheless.

“I’m fine, Yuta-kun. Geez, can’t your older brother have some peace?” His mouth ran faster than his brain and he immediately regretted it. Yuta’s face flipped through several emotions; hurt, confusion, exhaustion. It wasn’t like him to hide things from his brother, so why was he doing it now? “Whatever, let’s get some dinner. My treat~”

“It’s our money!”

---

The boy continued to make appearances at the twins’ performances on the street, becoming something of a regular but disappearing before Hinata could flag him down. Hinata wasn’t even sure what compelled him to want to talk to the older boy, but he wanted to say something. He had even noticed that the boy seemed happier and his clothes fit a little better, not like they were just the first thing he grabbed out of a donation pile.

Finally, after almost a month of trying to say something to the boy, Hinata saw him walk up to their hat on the ground and drop a few coins into it.

“Thank you!” He said, walking up to the boy. “Hope you enjoyed the performance!”

The boy froze as if he wasn’t expecting to be greeted like that. There was a slight flush to his face. “I-it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. You uh…you were great?” The boy seemed unsure of how to reply, though Hinata was happy with the compliment nonetheless. Maybe…

“What brings you here? I mean--agh, sorry! I just mean…I noticed you don’t have a regular schedule?” The words were practically falling out of his mouth and Hinata wasn’t really sure what they were doing. “Like you show up a few days in a row but then go three weeks without stopping by at all!” He was just digging a bigger grave for himself! Great!

“Ah uhm…I’m not from around here.” The boy scratched at the back of his neck. Maybe Hinata should back off.

“O-oh, yeah of course. Duh. Are you visiting family or something?”

“Not quite. I really should get going though. See you…later?”

“Yeah, see you later.”

“Hey Aniki, are you coming or not? The food’s gonna get cold!”

“Coming!”

---

It was almost a month before the boy appeared again. In the time between, Hinata had come up with a million different ideas for what his life was like. Was he a delinquent who skipped school to hang out on the street with gangs (how scary! But he looked strong enough to fit in)? Or was he a runaway from a city far away, somewhere Hinata only dreamed of visiting like Okinawa? Maybe he had a bad relationship with his dad and ran away, a thought that Hinata hated to admit had crossed his mind more than once. Or maybe he just passed through the city on the way to somewhere else. That seemed to be the most likely option, especially if he couldn’t come very often.

When the boy did finally show up again, Hinata had to hold himself back from practically jumping him after the performance. Something looked…different about him though. His eyes seemed more tired? Like he hadn’t been sleeping well. Hinata thought of a fight he had with his dad a few weeks ago that made it hard for him to sleep and thought maybe this boy was the same as him in that regard.

Hinata decided to wave him down after the performance, hat in hand (they had done pretty well! It felt heavier than normal and even without counting everything, they’d probably have enough for breakfast too).

“Hey! You look tired, are you--did you want to get something to eat?” Please say yes please say yes please say yes--

The boy’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. Did Hinata mess up? Oh he overstepped and now there really wasn’t any chance of getting to know him. Why was he so interested in talking to the boy anyway? Hinata had been asking himself that for a while now and he still had no answer.

“I…I can’t. I need to go.” The boy turned and ran off before Hinata could ask more. He just kept messing up, didn’t he? Maybe he really was just a burden to Yuta and their dad and the restaurant owner. He shouldn’t have been born and Yuta would’ve been better off--

“Aniki! Sheesh, get your head out of the clouds. How much did we make?” Yuta grabbed the hat out of Hinata’s hand and quickly counted out the coins and bills. “Woah! We could eat a whole five course meal with this…”

“Think with your head a little Yuta-kun. We’ve got breakfast paid for if we don’t blow it all tonight!”

Yuta nodded before handing the hat back to Hinata. “So, my pick tonight?”

---

Hinata signed the note, trying his best to keep the tears from dripping on it and smudging the ink. After his blunder with the red haired boy, he hadn’t shown up to their performances for over two months. Hinata was certain that he had messed up and was too forward. He didn’t even know the kid’s name! Why did he think the two of them could ever be friends?

And on top of all of that, Yuta had become more and more distant from Hinata, as if Hinata just existing was dragging him back from his full potential. Yuta would have been better off as an only child and maybe Hinata deserved this life. Thirteen years living with their father, who had treated them as nothing but monsters, blaming them for their mother’s death and everything bad that had happened since, Hinata had resolved to run away. He’d make his way to the mountains and maybe he’d find someone willing to help him or maybe he’d slip into an endless sleep.

Dear Yuta-kun, the letter had started. I’m sorry that I’m leaving like this, but I know that I’m just a burden to you. I’m sorry for that. I wish I had more to say but I just want you to be happy and maybe father will treat you better without me. I love you.

The other letter, already folded and placed on the table, was much shorter, addressed to his father.

Dear Father, I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better son. Please don’t take this out on Yuta-kun, it was my decision.

The less words he spent on that man, the better. Hinata folded Yuta’s note and placed it on top before quietly exiting through the front door.

---

Everything was cold. Hinata slumped against a tree, head between his knees in a last ditch effort to keep warm. Sleep should come soon and he could painlessly move on, at least that’s what he hoped. He barely registered someone approaching him, but didn’t look up.

“Hey.” The voice was vaguely familiar, but where did he remember it from? A warm hand shook at Hinata’s shoulder.

“‘M fine.” The words were barely a whisper. The other voice grunted before walking away. It was another minute before Hinata felt something drape around his shoulders and a cup shoved in his hand. Whatever was in it was steaming, warming his fingers.

“Drink.” The voice said. And he did, the tea was very, very bitter. That voice…

Hinata looked up, meeting a pair of bright, sky blue eyes. That’s where he recognized the voice from. Did he…live? In the mountains? The boy seemed to recognize him too. He was wearing a headband and what looked like very warm clothes that Hinata wished he had. Hinata finished the tea, trying not to focus on the flavor. It helped at least, in warming him up a bit.

“Why are you here?” The boy finally spoke again. It sounded like he was unsure if he should be mad or concerned, or both, but he offered Hinata another cup of tea, which he accepted if only to warm his fingers up. He pulled the blanket closer around his body.

“I…ran away.” Hinata looked downward, as if admitting this out loud was a cardinal sin. The boy gestured for him to continue. “I guess I just…I was dragging my brother down. I’m not really talented at anything like he is and I’m the reason our dad sees us as monsters. He shouldn’t have to deal with a brother like me.” Hinata wasn’t really sure why he was spilling this so easily. The boy was a good listener though, hanging on every word Hinata spoke. Was he shaking? He’d never admitted this out loud before and it felt oddly freeing to say it to someone.

He waited for a response, anything to chase away the uncomfortable silence Hinata had created with his confession. He really fucked up, didn’t he. He should have just kept that to himself like he always did instead of burdening a stranger like this!

“I…” The boy started, barely audible above Hinata’s racing heartbeat. “I’m glad you’re alive.” He sounded unsure of his words. Was he just trying to be nice? Of course he was, how else do you respond to a kid telling you something like this?

“You don’t have to pretend.”

“I’m not. When I saw you singing and dancing…I think I realized something--” The boy cut himself off, the suddenness of it making Hinata look up. A moment later he heard his brother calling out from the woods behind him.

“Aniki! There you are!” Yuta tackled him to the ground, squeezing Hinata like he might just blow away in the wind if they weren’t careful. “You scared me! I can’t believe you’d do something like that!”

Tears pricked at Hinata’s eyes again. “I’m sorry, Yuta-kun. I’m really sorry.” He buried his face in Yuta’s jacket. His nose started to run, from the cold or the tears he couldn’t tell.

“You aren’t a burden to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you around Aniki!” Yuta pulled back, hands gripping Hinata’s shoulders. “Promise you won’t do something that stupid again.”

Hinata wiped the tears from his eyes, sparing a glance where the boy had been. It was as if he had never been there at all and Hinata had just hallucinated the whole interaction. He looked back at his twin brother. “I promise.”

“Now let's get you home and warmed up. Where’d you get this blanket anyway? It doesn’t look like one of ours.”

“I…” The boy had been real, and he told Hinata he was glad he was alive (even if his explanation was cut short by Hinata’s brother rushing in). “I guess I just found it. There must be people living nearby or something.”

---

The chatter of the night club died down for the night as everyone was getting ready to go home. Hinata’s feet were sore from running around, but it was satisfying to be back in a restaurant like this. It reminded him of his childhood working for the Chinese restaurant with Yuta.

Rinne, the leader of Crazy:B who had wanted to get closer to Hinata, and by extension 2wink, slid a drink down the bar. It looked like a horrible mix of syrups and club soda, but one sip was all it took for Hinata to drink it all down.

“Great job tonight Hina! You’re a real natural at this stuff.” Rinne was washing the other glasses behind the bar now as Hinata finished the rest of his soda.

“Yuta-kun and I used to work in a restaurant so it comes pretty naturally to us!”

“That so?”

“Mhm!” Hinata slid the empty glass back to Rinne, who quickly dumped the ice and washed it before tossing the towel over his shoulder. The entire week they’d been working the club together, there had been something bugging Hinata at the back of his mind. “Hey, Rinne-senpai…did you ever watch our shows?”

“Huh? ‘Course I have, vice prez wants us to work together so I’ve seen a few of ‘em.”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean like…back when Yuta-kun and I did street performances.”

Rinne paused for a moment. “Why’re you askin’?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. You just reminded me of someone who used to watch them.”

“Well I’m sure whoever it was is proud to see you singin’ and dancin’ on stage.” Rinne had come around the bar and stood next to Hinata, ruffling his hair. “Let’s get goin’ or I’m never gonna hear the end of it from Niki-kun.”

#shay writes #enstars #ensemble stars #hinata aoi #yuta aoi #rinne amagi #OKAY ITS DONE I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS PIECE ANYMORE. FUCK MAN #its at least finally no longer a wip. that's all i can say #got one person who said they liked it so to the blog it goes!!!#one less wip to worry about yippie!!!#2.8k words of me being a bit silly. that's what this is.#i probably could have extended the end a bit but augh if i thought about it any longer i would literally pass away #fuck that shit #so here we go. enjoy. i have a whole essay about aoi and amagi parallels i need to write one of these days when i reread mainstory #i'm working on reading boarding live rn i have like 9 chapters left. i'd keep working rn but augh eepy #probably just gonna watch an ep of a3 and go to bed or smth #anyway enjoy!!!! feels good to finish something a bit longer #probably no wip wednesday tomorrow just bc this is all i worked on this week...#also this is a second draft i never do that. well not never i've done it before #and this is i think a significant improvement on the first #okay i'm done tag talking for realsies byeeeeeee enjoy

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the-acid-pear-art · 1 month

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Okay I get why ppl draw this guy so much now he's a joy to doodle.

#my art #doodles #artists on tumblr #dsaf #dsaf jack #jack kennedy #I'm really happy w how he looks here ngl.#maybe I'd have done more facial scars but y'know. didnt want to just ball.#he came out a little too pretty dare i even say like legit got a lil flustered when adding the scars like huh.#getting humid in this room eh? tugging at the neck of my shirt etc #also i thought of giving him a moustache but when i did he looked like such a butch it was cute but not what i wanted #body could be improved but hey this was literally just a quick doodle #i need to start trying to draw Dave more now tho i draw dave so little so UNFAIR but i need to pull up the old yaoi references 4 that #anyway yeah jack lovers enjoy #a lot of ppl followed me bc my last jack doodle snd it made me feel bad bc i am never a consistent person #like you follow me for dsaf and then you get a single drawing of L.L. every few weeks. but hey. here's something for the lot of you. enjoy👍

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cerise-on-top · 4 months

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Could I possibly request Fem!Reader x Laswel where Reader takes Laswel home for the holidays, leaving Laswel a bit of an anxious mess at meeting readers family, but also being endeared by the domesticity of the small holiday party, ending with the pair sitting outside on the porch as the first snow begins to fall?

It's a little cliché but I think it'd be a cute idea ♡

It's very cliché, but not to worry, I made the idea even more cliché and sweet and fluffy by adding some headcanons of my own! It makes me happy to hear there are some Laswell enjoyers out there! I hope you like this, it's also more of a fic than anything else, but it's kind of rushed because I have work again tomorrow ^^; Sorry about that! But thank you for the lovely idea, I was very happy to write that! :D

Laswell Spending the Holidays with Reader and Her Family

It wasn’t an issue, she told herself. Kate had been on missions that relied on her expertise, else the world was going to shatter like glass. There was no anxiety there, she had nothing to fear. If the world was going to end, she knew the right people to call to save it after all. Nothing was bigger than her, nothing could best her, she has been through hell and back several times. And yet, standing in front of the door to your parent’s house, she went through every sort of anxiety there was. Would your parents like her? Was she dressed too casually for the occasion or was she overdressed? Would they accept a lesbian into their home? It was the last question that would prove to be the biggest problem. Normally something like this wouldn’t matter to her, but you were close with your family, Kate had to make sure this would work.

“You ready, Kate?” You looked so adorable in your ear muffs, puffy white smoking forming whenever you exhaled. The scarf you wore suited you well, adorning your lovely jacket. The snow hadn’t fallen just yet, but it was cold regardless. Kate couldn’t help but stare for a second, your big, bright eyes looking back at her with such glee, reassuring her that everything was going to be alright. A small squeeze to her hand was all it took before Kate gave you a warm smile herself. Maybe meeting your family wasn’t such a bad thing after all, you were there too.

“Of course I am. Ready when you are.” And thus you rang the doorbell. A normal sound one would hear just about anywhere. It was then that Kate, for the first time that evening, noticed the quiet Christmas carols playing in the background. The door, too, was covered in decoration. Green and red, a Christmas wreath with an angel on it. A lovely sight. Kate may not have been religious, but it was a nice thought, knowing someone was looking down at you, making sure you were alright. A task she, too, was used to. But it didn’t matter too much, soon enough, the door was opened, revealing a man. He seemed friendly enough, joyful upon seeing you, immediately taking you into his arms.

You didn’t seem too displeased upon seeing him either. Given your difference in age, it must have been your father. A tight hug, sentimental greetings and a kiss to the forehead, everything seemed jolly in that moment.

“Who is it?”

A feminine voice called out. Her question was left unanswered for the most part, her husband giving her no response. He was preoccupied, busy with looking at his daughter he hadn’t seen in a long time. Yet, soon enough, Kate’s anxiety returned as he looked at her. It was dark already, the only reliable source of light coming from the inside. Despite it being somewhat hard to make out his expression, he didn’t seem displeased upon seeing her. “You must be Kate, then? Our girl has told us so much about you. Please, come in! It’s so nice to make your acquaintance!” He let the two of you in. Maybe meeting your family wasn’t such a bad experience after all. They seemed nice. “Honey, it’s y/n and Kate!”

The music inside was something one would, most likely, only hear within a proper and cliched Christmas movie. Even the decoration was a bit much. Tiny trees, underneath them small gifts, an advent wreath with all four candles lit and, of course, a fully decorated Christmas tree, full sized. It had some white decoration on it as well, likely resembling snow to give it even more holiday spirit. From small chocolate umbrellas to windrings, it was all there. Another small angel on the tree, a pretty little golden star on its top. It was the way anyone would expect a Christmas tree to look like. And yet, it felt cozy. Nothing wrong with having the spirit, Kate just wasn’t used to it in the slightest. It had been a while since she was able to celebrate any holiday like that.

Among the pretty lights was another figure that came into view. This one was shorter than your father, likely having been your mother. She stopped for a moment before going in for you as well, giving you a tight hug. Loving words came from her, too. How much she missed you, hoping you were doing well. how you should come visit them more often. How nice, your parents really loved you, no matter what. It warmed her heart even more so than the nicely heated room. Looking around as you and your mother exchanged your greetings, she spotted a big pretzel on the table, filled with all sorts of goodies. Cheese, ham, sausage mayonnaise, tuna, it all seemed to be there.

“Looking forward to the pretzel already, are we?” Your mother joked as she looked at her. The food did look delectable, even if that wasn’t exactly what Kate was looking forward to the most.

Even if she wanted to, Kate couldn’t fight the smile on her face. It was just so domestic, it was a home with a loving family, a lovely daughter and it seemed as though, despite two women being in love, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You and Kate being together, as long as you were bound by love and joy throughout it all, wasn’t the issue. Perhaps the only issue would have been how much Kate could eat of the pretzel before being too full for another bite. “It looks very delicious ma’am. Did you make it yourself? Or did you order it from the bakery nearby?”

“No need for such formalities. As long as you make y/n happy and take care of her, you’re part of our family. You really don’t have to be that formal with either of us.” Such a thing had been a long time from then and there as well, with most informalities having been left behind in the past. You were just about one of the only more recent exceptions, even if you had known each other for several years. Always, Kate had to be formal, if just to delay another conflict for a few days to make sure help would arrive at the right time. She was family to your mother already, even if she had never met either of your parents. “I’m just glad my daughter has finally found someone she was willing to settle with. She had had a partner before, but that did not go as planned.”

“Mom, for the love of everything that is good and holy, please don’t bring up the past. That was an eternity ago and it’s so shameful!” You sounded indignant upon hearing your mother make such a comment. Sweet and kind you, hiding things from the past, getting embarrassed upon hearing your lovely mother bring them up. “Kate, don’t listen to her, she’s lying to you! Straight up! Through her teeth! Nothing ever happened, everything was always good and always will be!” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mother as you protested. As long as everything was good and alright in the present, that’s all that mattered. Kate was going to make sure it would stay that way too.

Your mother simply chuckled, giving Kate a short but sweet hug, exchanging the pleasantries of giving each other their first names. “Kate, if y/n is ever any trouble tell me and I’ll make sure she’ll learn her lesson.”

“Mom! Stop it!”

“It’s lovely to have you with us, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for taking care of y/n, you know how it is with parents, but you seem like such a nice lady. Please continue to take good care of her, we just want what’s best for her.”

Even as you covered your face with one hand, even as you silently muttered curses under your breath, even as you still smiled as though you had received an expensive gift you had been wanting for years, Kate couldn’t help but laugh a bit. You were flustered beyond compare, no matter how much she wanted to say something about it, maybe tease you about your adorable mannerisms, your quirks, your traits, she decided against it, simply giving you a bright smile instead.

“Mom, if I’m going to be bullied here then Kate and I are going to take our leave and celebrate Christmas elsewhere!” An empty threat, everyone involved knew that much. Even in the heat of your embarrassment, your family did not stop teasing you, your father quipping in here and there as well. Kate hadn’t experienced something like this in a long time, getting to sit back and watch some playful banter. With your father distracting you this time, with your mother coming up to Kate, asking her if she wanted to hear some stories of gone-by times with you being so young, small and ready to take on the world, Kate forgot she was ever even anxious to meet your parents to begin with.

It was your father who would finally begin the tradition, aside from the pretzel, calling your mother and Kate over to the Christmas tree. A few of the presents had already been placed there. Even so, before forgetting, Kate excused herself, rushing to the car in order to get the last one. It was that evening or never.

She had always been a calm person, never letting anything get to her head. When her childhood crush told her how disgusting she was, when her parents belittled her and told her she could change still, when her ex wife left her for reasons she didn’t want to believe, it hurt. But not for long. Every time someone let her down, every time someone hurt her, she knew she was one of the only people she could rely on. God helps those who help themselves. There was no God to her, she had achieved everything on her own. But this time she will have to rely on someone else entirely. Whatever you did, it would shape her future. And thus, she grabbed the box meant for you and headed back inside.

You seemed so cheerful, looking at the jacket your parents bought for you. And, in turn, you parents also looked happy with their presents. Naturally, getting along with them as well as you did, you knew what to get them, even in their later years. It was, all round, just a happy evening, for everyone involved it seemed. Steadying her breath for a second, just as your father turned off the lights, leaving nothing but the Christmas lights on, she stood still, gripping the box tightly. Kate hoped you would like the present she got for you. Yes, you had been with each other for years, but this time was different.

After having taken off the jacket, putting it over one of the chairs nearby, you turned to Kate, eyeing the box she was holding. “Hey, what’s that? Can I see?”

“I’ll let you see it in just a second, dear, alright? Could you please come closer to the tree?”

Your spirit guided you to the location Kate wanted you to be in: Standing next to the tree, illuminated by the red and green lights. Everything else was dark. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, this was perfect. And thus, having taken another deep breath, despite her age, Kate got down on one knee, opening the box so your curious soul could see its contents. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

With you clasping your hands over your mouth, your mother and father gasping as they held onto each other, with Kate watching you closely as the tears started brimming in your eyes. The lights were reflected so beautifully in your eyes, dancing across, giving them the most vibrant colors in the universe. But you were stunned into silence, removing your hands only to mouth some words that could never reach Kate in the state you were in. The Christmas charm seemed to have worked, you were out of your mind with joy, but unable to say anything about it.

A sob escaped you as you slung your arms around Kate, tightly holding onto her. You weren’t going to lose her, not that easily anymore, you were both here to stay. “Yes! Fuck, Kate! Of course I’m going to marry you! I love you! I love you so much, you have no idea!!” Your tears stained the blouse she chose for the evening, but it didn’t matter. All Kate wanted was to hold you, love you, cherish you, through thick and thin, through the good and the bad. All she wanted was to spend the rest of her days with you and no one else. Kate got her present, the biggest one she could have ever wished for: Your “yes”.

Your parents were also quiet for a moment, allowing you to cry into Kate’s shoulder. But from what she could see, they were shocked, but happy for their girl. She was going to get married after so many years. And that to the woman of her dreams she never really could shut up about whenever they were talking. It was a lovely sight. Soon enough, you were both officially going to be a part of each other’s family, bearing each other’s names so no one would ever mistake you as anything else but each other’s wife.

You bit back a sob, your voice still cracking as you asked Kate a small favor: “Can we please go outside for a bit? I think I need a moment here.”

“Of course, anything for you.” Kate handed you your new jacket before she grabbed her own. Naturally, as she wanted it to be, you led the way to the backyard, holding Kate’s hand. Despite it being dark, despite the only light coming from other Christmas decorations and you not having been here in a while, you found a bench in the middle of the small piece of land immediately. The two of you sat down, Kate having slung an arm over you as you kept sobbing for another moment. Nothing could have prepared her for you being so over the moon to hear the big question, but she wasn’t complaining.

It took you another minute or two to finally compose yourself, but you got there eventually. “You know, I always thought I was never going to find someone, preferring girls over guys and all. Age wise, you and I aren’t that far apart either, so you know how long I’ve been carrying that thought, that belief, with me now. But then I found you and…” You went quiet again for another second. Kate rubbed your back, hoping it would soothe you a bit. “...and now this. Kate, you don’t know how happy I am right now. To think that someone would think me, of all people, to be worth loving. To be worth marrying. You’re something else.” You grabbed her hands so tenderly, giving them a gentle squeeze as you looked into her eyes. “Thank you so much, for everything. I am so happy, so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Y/N, as you know, I’ve been through a lot. I’ve seen the best and worst of humanity, but nothing could ever best you. I would go through this entire hell again and again, if just to spend another moment with you. Getting to spend the rest of eternity with you is more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you for allowing me to be by your side.”

Just as you leaned in, sealing this beautiful evening with a kiss, something small landed on Kate’s nose. You giggled a bit, looking to the sky for a moment, then back at your soon-to-be wife. “Even the sky is weeping with joy right now. Isn’t that sweet?”

“Of course it is. Anyone would be happy for us right now, dear.”

Interrupted by the small snowflake, you gave it no mind, placing a small, tender kiss on Kate’s lips as you were. The snow looked beautiful in her hair. Winter didn’t seem so dreadful and cold anymore, it was a hopeful time you could remember for more than just seeing a part of your family. Another part was right there with you, forever and always, after all.

#cod #cod x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #fem!reader #petition to make Laswell real so us Laswell lovers can give her a kiss on the cheek #I never would have thought I'd be into older women but I am swooning again #it's sort of become a habit of mine to write something like a fic for the girls #I need to change that but every time I look at one of them I am overcome with love and adoration and the desire to write as much as I can #I need to go back to writing HCs but that's likely only going to happen when writing for the guys and/or if there's several characters #anyway the girls are so underappreciated in this fandom I am so happy to have found the people willing to enjoy my silly writing about them #also English is not my first language so I'm really sorry for any mistakes #I have a hard time remembering the difference between looking down on and looking down at sb

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greg-montgomery · 2 years

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Lonely

Aaron Hotchner x Gn!Reader

Summary: Just a little hurt/comfort fic. It's one of those days where nothing feels okay, but to your surprise, your boss Aaron Hotchner is there to comfort you.

Soft!Hotch my beloved <333

TW: The reader talks about struggling with their mental health.

Words: 1.1 k

It was only you who was left at the office. You thought that occupying your mind with some boring paperwork would help you distract yourself from the painful feeling on your chest. It was one of those days where something as simple as a smile was impossible to fake. It was one of those days where a headache was creeping up by you forcing your tears not to spill all day.

If someone were to ask you why you were feeling that way, you would have an extremely hard time to explain. You couldn’t even explain it to yourself. You were just feeling sad. And feeling sad made you feel lonely.

The noise of a door closing made you drop your pen and turn your head to that direction. Yes, everyone else had left, but the word ‘everyone’ did not include your boss. Ever. At least for you.

“Y/N, what are you still doing here? It’s almost eleven,” he asked, approaching your desk. Looking up at him you immediately recognized concern in his expression.

“I thought I could just finish this all up tonight. You know, so I don’t have it on my mind all week.” You tried to sound casual, but you were pretty certain he was already not buying it.

“I don’t want you to overwork yourself. Especially for something as meaningless as paperwork. You already go through enough when we have a case.”

You sighed, figuring there was no reason to fight him on this. If you agreed he would just drop it. “You’re right.”

You started collecting your things to put them in your bag, expecting Aaron to wish you goodnight and leave. Instead you felt him staring at you in silence.

Bringing your bag to your lap, after securing all your personal things in it, you turned to the side ready to get up. You hadn’t realized that he had moved closer though - to the point where if you stood up, your face would bump into his chest. That’s why you decided to stay seated.

You looked up at him and took a deep breath, trying to calm your heartbeat that was going crazy, because he was completely towering over you.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Is everything okay?” There it was again. That same expression of concern. You hated the way he could see right through you. Aaron was known for being able to read people – he was good at his job and you admired him for it – but it was never fun to be on the receiving end of his talent. It made you feel bare and vulnerable.

“Yes, everything’s good.”

He slowly squatted down so he could be at the same level as you. Your height difference hadn’t allowed your faces to be this close to each other before. Looking into his eyes from this new angle felt different.

“Listen,” he started. “I can understand why I would not be the first person you’d choose to talk to about a personal issue. I know I’m much older than you and might act a little like a drill sergeant sometimes, but I’m always here if you need to talk. I would love to help. About whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

You smiled sadly at him because, deep down, if you could choose one person in the world to open your heart to it would be him. But how could you randomly start talking about your feelings to your boss of all people? How does one get the chance to do so?

Except now you had the perfect chance. He was offering it to you.

“I don’t think I’m gonna make any sense, Hotch,” you answered; your voice small and ready to break.

“You don’t have to. This isn’t an exam, you know. You can just tell me how you feel. No need to explain.”

Tears started to blur your vision at his words. Your feelings for him got a hundred times more intense than they were before.

“I’m lonely,” you broke, crying properly now. “I’m so lonely.”

His hand reached out to take yours and his thumb started to move in a soothing motion. It helped.

“And I’m not saying I’m alone,” you continued. “I have my family, my friends, our team... I know I have people in my life who care for me, I really do. And I recognize how ungrateful I sound for saying that it’s not enough. But it’s not. I’m still lonely. And I’m still sad. And I don’t know why.”

“Sweetheart…” he whispered, his free hand cupping your cheek so he could wipe away the tears.

“I’m so tired of thinking I’m okay and then feeling awful again. It never ends,” you sobbed, leaning into his touch without really thinking about it. “I just feel so helpless when it gets bad. Like nothing can help.”

As soon as you finished your sentence he pulled you into his arms. The fingers of his one hand got lost between your hair, while his other hand was rubbing circles on your back. “Maybe this can help,” he said, kissing the top of your head.

You completely melted in his embrace. Your sobs got louder and your body was shaking, but it felt like release.

“Hotch,” you cried, “I just wanna be okay.”

“You will be, I promise.”

You pushed away, just enough so you could look at his face again. His eyes were red and your heart clenched at the thought of him caring for you enough to be this moved by your sadness.

His palms were cupping your cheeks again and his handsome smile made its appearance, looking sweeter than ever.

“Thank you,” you smiled back. It was through tears, but it was the only genuine smile you had given anyone all day.

“Of course,” he replied, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. “And now…” He dragged out the sentence, while standing up.

You missed his touch already. You didn’t want him to leave you alone. But you prepared yourself for his next words. He probably had to get home to Jack, you thought.

“How about we go get some ice cream?” he asked instead.

Your eyes lit up like a kid which made him laugh.

“I know a place that’s open all night. Let me drive us there,” he said offering his hand, and you took it without a second thought.

“I’d love that.”

You started walking towards the elevator, holding hands.

“Nothing like some ice cream after a good cry, right?” he joked and you giggled.

His hand dropped yours, only for his arm to wrap itself around your neck, pulling you close to his chest.

Maybe you could learn to love the way Aaron could see right through you. It made you feel cared for and understood.

#aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds fic #hiding in the tags so i can be insane here hehe #not me writing this when i should be studying 💀#but i'm so sad today lmao #for what? that's a secret my brain will never tell #i just feel really lonely and sad and thought i could use my sweet man for comfort #and thought i'd share in case anyone needs some comfort too #maybe it's because i'm on my period 😔#anyway if anyone's reading this i hope you enjoyed the fic #it's provided by my mental illness <3 #hotch 🪐

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hecatesbroom · 21 days

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Young Rose & a chicken (coloured version under the cut)

(I prefer the sketch so that's why this is under the cut, but I thought I'd add it anyway!)

#i made the sketch in like 20 minutes & couldn't resist colouring it #so um. enjoy my first finished drawing in like a year #yesterday i thought i was probably never going to post my art online #but after making like 5 sketches of betty white in life with elizabeth + this rose with a chicken #i figured why not lol #i'm very rusty but this was the most fun i've had drawing something in YEARS :)#the golden girls #rose nylund #my art #<- never thought i'd be able to use that tag haha #OOPS did it post already?? i thought i saved this to my drafts??#oh well lmao i guess tumblr is biting the bullet for me

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moonfromearth · 6 months

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- ...

Day 12 - The Killer "Iconic. The bringer of doom. It gives them pleasure to pick of the cast, reveling in their own cat and mouse game. No matter their backstory, it always leads to slaughter in the end."

from @windbrook's Slashed Challenge.

#he's a bit of a lazily designed killer #but i thought the smiley face was a mildly creepy touch #😅#by the time i got to twelve i wasn't sure what to do #and i was done downloading cc so #i had to improvise with the hats/masks in the game #which turned out to be fun the eco living bag is kind of a good option like he could have got it anywhere #i can't believe it's the last prompt though i had so much fun with these #going to work on a character page i think for them all #because i'd really like to work on some edits for the plot #thanks everyone for enjoying the sims it's been super fun to see the likes they got so thank you 😁#slasher dude #(i never gave him a name...#i had one but i feel like it's already been used)#day 12 #windbrookslashed #sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 screenshots #ts4 screenshots #tw murder mention #tw murder #tw death mention

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timbourinedrake · 8 months

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Finally posting the Talia focused animatic I have been working on, because I don't know when I'll get time to finish it and I like it too much to let it rot in my folder.

This is based on the events of Batman: Son of the Demon and the song is Wife by Mitski

I have a whole lot of thoughts on how this song reflects Talia's treatment as a character both within comics and outside of them, and how she is always treated as the mother/daughter/love interest rather than an individual in her own right. These roles are important to her but she is also more than them, she is her own person. I think it's super interesting to look at how Talia would wrestle with balancing these roles whilst also not letting them be her own defining trait.

#like yes Talia is a loyal daughter and adores Bruce and does her best for Damian and she value's herself on these things #but she also doesn't agree with her father and can't sacrifice her principles for Bruce and can't give Damian the life he deserves #she is simultaneously all these roles a woman should be but is also found failing in all of them because she is so much more than just #a mother/daughter/lover #yet she is never seen as anything more than that #the conflict between wanting to fill these roles naturally vs being forced to be these things #I could write an essay on this if I thought I'd make any sense #anyhow take my wip I hope you enjoy it #(fun fact: I showed this in all my uni interviews and I got accepted into all of them)#(thank you talia for getting me an education)#talia al ghul #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #dc #animatic #animation #my art

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terrainofheartfelt · 10 months

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the thing that is really getting me with the wga/sag-aftra strike, and the corporate greed that brought us all to this place, is that for my entire life, as someone who has always wanted to be an artist of some kind, the conventional wisdom is that becoming an artist means resigning yourself to a life of poverty and forfeiting a future that allows you to live in basic dignity and human comfort.

and isn't that so fucked? that the unspoken thing about working in the arts is that because you chose it over something else, you don't deserve to live comfortably? because, why, you didn't choose to be a business major? or didn't choose to be generationally wealthy?

except it's not unspoken anymore, because artists are asking to be compensated adequately for their work, and studio execs are saying that they will wait to starve them out like fucking 14th century serfs. because that's what you get for not being corporately savvy enough to choose a vocation in the arts.

I'm just, I'm really tired of talking around the issue in every circle, which at the heart is this: there is one side that says every human being, no matter their field of expertise or age or stage in their career, deserves to live in dignity and not poverty, and the other side is saying that for the sake of their own near-sighted comfort, an unquantifiable number of people deserve to suffer. and i'm really tired of the fallacy that's been fed to me all my life that I can either be an artist, or live with the basic dignity of a home and meals and healthcare.

anyway. yes strikes yes unions fuck the amptp xoxoxoxoxo

#i started this rant in the tags of something but then decided my unorganized thoughts should have a post of their own #wga #sag aftra #just 'oh you want a career in music? enjoy being poor lol' i'm so fucking sick of it #i'm not singing anymore because the psychological toll of never having enough money was literally killing me #and isn't that fucked? because. i'm really fucking good.#bastille day is coming up........maybe we should like........storm some things............#i'd like to wish studio execs a very one way submersible trip

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martilyongabo · 7 months

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EO3 (partial) lineup - November-December 2022

Peak MAbo is collaborating with your best friend for a(n admittedly unfair) final project (for web development!!!! an elective!!!), saying you would post it, forgetting about it for a year, posting it on Artstation and forgetting about it again.

As always, AC drew the lineart, and I colored. Designs were more of a collaborative effort between the two of us!

Probably should have shared this when the HD collection came out... anyway it's here now!

Some design ramblings under the cut :0! There's a lot i wanna share especially given that we recently did a soft rewrite that departed from the guild system entirely ^^" and EO3's cast was actually one of the first that we had, surprisingly!

Micah is quite clearly alt gladiator 3, but in an entirely different profession. instead of going into the labyrinth, he works in what i imagine would be an analogue to the forge in Tharsis (aka helping people make things busted af). It probably works best for his character, since he was always a gizmo freak even in his first iteration! geomagnetic (or submagnetic, ugh) gizmo is AC's idea!

Micah's brother, Eva, is a very loose spin on zodiac 3, but with a wayyyy lighter colour palette. Admittedly, i did steal a little bit of the spiritmaster's coat from bravely default, but AC managed to spin it back to resembling the original coat that the class had. Eva works as an astronomer, hence the little telescope he always has on him.

Next up we have Eva's protégé, Miri (who was imported from AC's stories)! Theoretically, Miri would be a second zodiac, and, after watching some EO3 speedruns, would probably be really strong in the earlygame when working with Eva in an actual playthrough. AC's design heavily borrows from Patho II's Grace, hence the coat + dress combo.

Following Miri in this lineup would be Noa, her admittedly very lazy but clingy sibling. I think it's apparently here that we didn't have much time to filter what a believable design would be in an EO setting, given that Noa's clothes were translated directly from our designs of them in school attire. It's actually funny how for we diverged from their original portrait (buccaneer 3) to the point that she is literally unrecognizable. Truly a pipeline from good sea boy to j-horror twist character.

Last in the OC section would be Masaru, who recently found work for the Senatus. Admittedly he does have another example of "incongruent time period" clothing (the jacket), though it's a lot more reworkable than Noa. We also made his design a lot less poofy and rugged compared to the original, and I mixed the base and alt color palettes as well to make him less, well, glaringly red. Probably one of the funnier things is that his clothing palette made him blend in more with the likes of Kujura, but given that they work for the same place, it'll probably work out fine.

Now we go onto NPCs, and who better to start than with Flowdia! Admittedly, her art was one of the last ones that we did, hence why her design looks relatively plain (sorry lola). Probably one of the things I would like to add would be more ornate patterns, perhaps of butterflies to tie her closer to Gutrune!

Before we get to the Princess, we gotta get through her bodyguard first! >:0 I honestly don't like Kujura because I answered honestly in his first question, and he said that I was prideful, but AC likes him so he looks really good here. He isn't as rendered here as he is in his portrait, since he was also one of the last characters we made, and I didn't really get to notice that he doesn't have as much value contrast in his clothing as Masaru does. Probably something to think about next time I color him >:0

Next up we have Gutrune!! We decided to make her look more jellyfish-like, while still keeping it a bit uncanny and unsettling. We tried to give her a more traditionally Filipiniana look (mostly on the Maria Clara gown), but we haven't yet made a poncho design that mixes well with butterfly sleeves without looking cluttered. As such, she has a more nightdress-y look here. AC drew in a few tentacles, and I couldn't help but make them look squishy.

Last but not least is Olympia! We wanted to align her appearance more with her background, hence her altered design :0 Having rips of the artbook easily accesible online also helped us flesh out her hair in particular, since we didn't want to just transplant Gutrune's hairstyle onto her.

And that's all of them!!! I'm honestly hoping to draw more EO characters, though Seyfried's design scares me (honestly the reason why I couldn't make a Reversed Emperor comic).

Currently, I've made a lot of progress on the EO4 game, and I'm excited to draw up the three N-turned-PCs + Xiuan >:'0!!! I don't think I can ever get as cool as Morika tho. If you've come this far and aren't into EO, please check out their blog!! Their art is stunning and has come a really long way :")

#etrian odyssey #etrian odyssey 3 #etrian odyssey iii #idylls of the abyssal forest #gawang abo #colorist #noa minjin #miranda minjin #gutrune #olympia #kujura #flowdia #micah abdelghani #eva abdelghani #I'LL GIVE THEM SURNAMES WHEN I NEED TO #honestly why i never got to finalize work on the CR x RGU series is not just because I wanted to animate it #but also because i had to give the students surnames #like ye they're ~10 characters but surnames don't come easy to me >:'000 #and i'm super particular with names so :AAA:#issa trap i'd rather sidestep entirely #also if you follow me for CR... hi i'm sorry but i reverted back to my oldest brainrot to cope with thesis + the new game updates #NOT TO SAY THE NEW UPDATES ARE BAD #but i realized i cared more about crafting a story than following along the trail of another :")#i still want to work on the CR stories and animate them and put them up!#it's just that i need time to recoup i guess #community is also really buck wild. I don't think i ever got over the whiplash of them saying “we will not play *ends up excited anyway*”#it's ok if u enjoy it naman but the speed in which they get stoked for updates was like “:”D? i thought we were protesting. what y'all doin #i'm sorry if u read thru all these tags and saw me processing my trauma with the cr fandom #i'm doing a lot better now!!! please have a good day as well and take care of yourself!#EDIT 04.27.2024 THEY ALL HAVE SURNAMES. HURRAH!

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