#i think i be lowkey feeling myself because i never erased once in this???

[speakeasier]

i want to read or at least watch this out of curiosity.

me, looking. okay, hold up why does this sketch look kind of good though. lowkey feeling myself on this even though i don't go there. sldkglsdkjg.

#like i don't know why this looks fire to me wkdnwks #like the pose i wanted was more of a side profile kind of thing but i'm like wow this turned out pretty neat??? LOLOL #i think i be lowkey feeling myself because i never erased once in this??? #not to mention this was surprisingly done in seven minutes or some shit #like the fuck #and because the only referenced i used was the official art??? and usually i take a bit to get a feel for the character but i feel i got it #right on the first try??? #LOOKS #i dunno i think her design is just...simply neat #I SHOULD BE WORKING ON OTHER THINGS BUT I DO THIS INSTEAD I HATE MYSELF LOLOL

[autisticlancemcclain]

What’s your most hated fandom characterization for each of the main 7?

hoo boy am i glad you asked. although i’m gonna be real, my issue is less with fandom characterization, because you do you i don’t give a shit, and more with how people go batty if you personally are not a fan of fanon characterizations.

like, lemme be obvious and talk about my biggest example. i am a brown eyed lance truther. we know this. the amount of weirdo comments, weirdo DMs, and weirdo asks i get is atrocious. i post a lot of them bc they’re so stupid they’re funny but the amount of people per week that tell me to kill myself is lowkey wild. the amount of people that love to say some variation of “i liked your fic but you ruined it by making lances eyes brown! his eyes are blue!” and i’ve checked other brown eyed truther’s fics — either they delete their comments better than me, or they do not get the same thing. idk what the deal is lol.

i will concede to the point that i’m a contrarian and annoying about it, but a list of the following non-fanon headcanons/characterizations i hold that have been commented on in some derisive way:

- bitchy hunk (lol)

- non “cinnamon roll too pure and baby and good for this world” hunk*

- allura is a good character (🤡)**

- allura is a sweetheart

- allura is not a drill sergeant

- kuron was a good iteration of shiro

- red paladin lance/black paladin keith/blue paladin allura

- retired shiro

- pidge is not cruel

- pidge is not an infant and can handle things a regular 14-15 year old can handle

- small details are irrelevant (think lances family, exact prekerb details, etc)

- keith gyeong and lance sanchez

- fucking brown eyed lance. i’m saying it again

- tall keith

- non omega keith***

- readmores

- autistic lance

- adhd keith

- non asshole/cruel keith

- comphetting gay lance****

- shallura

- bi shiro, demi keith, essentially any sexuality headcanon that isn’t mainstream

- hunk who isn’t food obsessed

- that’s about it

*stop infantilising hunk

**the allura hate is ridiculous and largely rooted in anti-Blackness. it should not be a fight to say that she had a reason to feel betrayed by keith’s heritage, that she did not “get in the way” of klance, that her death was stupid and ridiculous, that she is often pushed over in favour of klance (not as in she’s less popular, but that her/her death are used as a plot device to further klance), and that she is as interesting, nuanced, and multifaceted as the rest of them.

***people, inevitably, feminize characters in fandoms (largely because many people in fandom are young women, i know i feminize characters simply bc i’m making them like me and i’m feminine lol), and my issue is that people (in the general sense, not everybody) love to feminize keith and then get really mad if anyone else is feminized. this is not about fem or trans woman keith btw. this is about people omega-ifying him and then losing their MINDS if i don’t share that headcanon.

****i literally only wrote this once and then never again because people lost their minds. but as much as i love bi lance, i think it’s interesting that usually, when we see “boy crazy” or “girl crazy” characters, especially if they have a lot of chemistry or homoerotic tension with a same-gender character, people are like oh ya that’s comphetting. that character is desperately trying to outrun the gay thoughts. but with lance, who was definitely girl crazy and cared more about having a girlfriend than actually dating and falling in love (think “mrs blue lion” — he didn’t give a fuck about who he was marrying, so long that it was a girl), calling him gay will have people saying you’re erasing bisexuality. as if he was not fucking straight in the show. so.

sorry this is so bitter and ranty lol. been in a mood

#and have been wanting to complain about this specifically for months #so thank u for that #longpost #vld headcanons #rant #ask

[movinginelliptical]

I've keeping it with me for awhile 'cause I prefer to observe, said a few things when necessary and go back to my corner. I don't put my opinian about every little that it's happening and I prefer this way. It works for me.

I'm a cynical and sarcastic adult who use jokes, memes, gifs and laughs as a coppeding mode. My point of view can be acid and I don't have the patient to express myself in a extreme didactic way.

I didn't land in the fandom yesterday. This is definitely not my first rodeo. Through the years, I had to took some time for me, step back a bit. The last time, I thought that I wouldn't come back so I erased all my stan  accounts in different plataforms. But yep, I came back. The only stan account that I have now it's this one right here and for the rest, I use my personal account just to be in the loop and to watch lives.

This fandom it's full of bullshit. A few faces changed but the shit it's the same. The most difficult thing it's not to deal with stunts, to be gaslighting by them, the cruelty and brutality from their closeted, the hateful antis and rads. No, the most difficult thing it's deal with the shit from our own portion of the fandom. I can't believe until today how larries treat each other so badly.

It's fucking exhausting. And once I heard something like 8 years ago and it's still a truth: it's really hard to feel that you belong here. The first reaction of the most people here it's assume that you don't know shit therfore you won't be included or simple won't be take seriously. This become a cycle fed by the same assumption. And you can find really nice people here but even them will think that you're a baby that need to read a lot of masterposts before have something to say.

I never had the patience and now, I have even less. Although, this time, I really tried to interact and to be taken serious... well, I just gonna stay lowkey with my funny and dorky stuff.

If I see something that may be relevant or important, I gonna send to someone through an anonymous ask.

My tip is: don't be a judgemental person, especially because I bet that you hate to be judged and you may get suprised by people.

#my only surprise it's that I still got hurt and sad #fandom dynamics #fandom

[c03xistentw01]

I wish you had kept those glasses on today.

I dont know how tf I'm supposed to get over the fact that I know the color of your eyes now. It was kind of hazel but then kind of red brownish in the center and more greenish in the surroundings.

di nuovo ecco mi making you the solution

forcing myself to make you the solution

sometimes even making myself your solution!!!!

why can't we just accepts us the way we are

why would we even seek a solution

a solution for solving which problem

why would i even see a problem in you at all

i though I'd like you, where does the problem stem from

i read this part of a book saying that when we like people

that happens cuz we see in them the same needs we see in ourselves

or maybe the same unsatisfied needs

idk how it works but I have apparently, subconsciously seen these unsatisfied needs

but what is it? is it the need to be loved so bad in a way that brings you satisfaction?

and if that's the case, why am i so certain that i can give you that

maybe because i want it so much....

~

I remember when you had first started working in the lib, everyday my day was lowkey ruined cuz every morning I got this "here she comes again" vibe from you, some kind of despise that I couldn't tell where it might come from. It got me so upset i even talked to my flatmate about it told him there is this guy at the lib i think he hates me he literally pisses me off everytime i see his face and him being all like dude just confront him and say it and me being all like yea imma do it tomorrow and well i never did.

i'm glad i didn't. that sure would have been nasty.

maybe cuz i noticed the "unsatisfied needs". like out of the blue. i woke up one morning and decided to take off the sunglasses off my third eye or sth.

today i dont know why but the fact that i could not help but to allow myself to be nervous about the shit i was so deep in, i could not help but to lowkey see you drifting away as more of my demons and anxiety you were being exposed to second by second. I had become quite hyper-ac once again and i was not fully aware of it at the time but i could feel something was off. Maybe i was trying to align you and my image of you, subconsciously and that's why i saw you drifting away from me. Like you were interacting with me but you had nothing else to say. nothing. not even sympathy.

(the way i said "perfect" after hearing that everything will get erased after you shut down the machine, felt more like "ah thanks god my porn history will get wiped clean I'll be a saint again". But in fact i was being sarcastic it was so funny).

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Business AU - Working Late, Part 7

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6

sdfsfdgdfgf

^^^^^ my actual thoughts after writing this.

There was no denying that he was still thinking about that Saturday night. The feeling had been extraordinary. It’s been some time ever since he felt like this, but there was also something more. And he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

First thing he did on Monday when getting to work was to lock himself in his office, his thoughts empty as he repeatedly drummed a pen against his desk, his gaze hardly focusing on anything. He did call for someone though at some point, taking this waiting time as an opportunity to collect his thoughts into something comprehensible.

Some knocks were heard at the door, a single “yes” escaping Donnie, an approval for the newcomer to come in. Next came into view another turtle adorning a red do-rag, this one much more massive when compared to the bespectacled mutant. It was none other than Raphael, the muscular terrapin a rare sight in the building as he was often more out to meet clients than stuck behind a desk.

“What’s up?” he started, closing the door behind him. “I’m on a tight schedule, so it better be important.”

Raph did frown a little as he noticed his brother’s composure, the purple clad mutant’s eyes speaking volumes.

“I, uhm... I need some advice,” finally said Donnie.

“What kind? A client’s giving you troubles?” added the other, taking a seat.

Donatello tsked, quickly waving that query away: “No, I know how to deal with those. ... It’s more of a personal matter. A... relationship one.”

Raph’s eyes widened a little, then relaxing his stance with an amused smirk.

“Well, well, well... back in business, I see? I thought that receptionist situation would keep you out of the market for quite some time.”

“Oh please, that girl was crazy. I’m just glad she moved out of the city. ... It’s been more than a year, I’ve moved on.”

“What’s the matter then?” added the red clad terrapin. “You forgot how to socialize or somethin’?”

Donnie quietly chuckled, leaning back in his chair, then thoughtful.

“Oh no, I’ve been socializing, alright... I just don’t want to fuck it up, you know? Things have been going so well now and on this last Saturday we took it a lil’ further-”

“How much further?”

“We kissed.”

“Bro, that’s nothin’.”

Tension was broken for a moment, both brothers snickering. That did help Donnie and calmed his thoughts a little.

“Who is it though?” next asked Raphael. “Someone working here or... ?”

“She’s a project manager for our creative team. She got here from Montréal a couple months back and we met one night by pure coincidence as we were both working late. Her name’s Véronique, but I call her Vee.”

“Oohh, already on a nickname basis, now that’s a feat,” teased the other.

“Please, she asked me to call her like that on the first night we met.”

“Ay, you know I’m just pokin’ some fun at you. ... What’s the matter, then? Why aren’t you talking about that to Leo or Mikey?”

“Because,” started Donnie. “Leo would try to dissuade me into pursuing this relationship, and Mikey well ... you know him. He’d say: ‘Invite her to my place and have her swim in the pool. Girls love pools!’,” mimicked the purple clad mutant. “... You know he’d only want that so he can have a look at her as well. I ain’t having none of that shit.”

Raph laughed once again, acknowledging those statements.

“And, to be frank,” added the bespectacled one. “I value your judgement. You get straight to the point and that’s what I need right now.” He leaned foward a little on his desk, hands joined. “So my concern is; what should I do next? We have interest for one another - we openly expressed as much. We obviously have a good chemistry together... but how do I know she’s the one? ... She feels different from anything, anyone, I’ve ever been with before, may it be in terms of relationships or not.”

“Easy,” shrugged Raph. “Have sex with her.”

“Raph!”

“I’m serious! ... You wanna know if she’s the one? Show yourself vulnerable before her. If there’s something more between you two, it’ll click.”

Donnie sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing them in slight annoyance.

“Okay so what, I just have to sleep with her, no strings attached? I hope you’re not suggesting for me to force myself upon her.”

“Hell no, stupid. I said be vulnerable, not a psycho,” frowned the red clad mutant. “Look ... you wanted my opinion, there it is. I believe in deep connections, and if right now you’re already feeling something special between you two, I don’t see what’s bad about wanting to explore that and see if there’s truly something more. ... Also, people can fuck for the fun of it, I hope you know that?”

Donnie exhaled sharply, half of a smile next on his lips: “I suddenly regret asking for your opinion, but I do see your point.”

“I’m sure you can be a gentleman about all of that.”

“My brain turns to goo whenever I’m with her. I try not to show it, but damn... I don’t think she’d get to that point though, I don’t know...”

“As long as it naturally gets there, that’s what matters. ... Those things are felt, Donnie. I’m not saying to rush it, but rather to not be scared.”

The purple clad one conceeded, lowkey admiring his brother’s wisdom about the matter. He finally rose from his seat, inviting Raph to do the same.

“Alright, I won’t take more of your time. You’ve given me enough food for thought.”

“‘Bout time, I have to go Uptown, I’ll be late ‘cause of you,” Raph teased, playfully nudging his brother’s shoulder along the way.

“Har, har, very funny,” added the other, opening the door so both could exit the room.

As they were about to say their goodbyes, a voice rose, followed by the light clicking sound of hurried heels against the floor.

“Donnie, good timing!”

Both turtles turned their attention to a woman coming their way; Vee. She was holding a pile of documents, already taking some apart and then handing them to the tall terrapin when she was next to him.

“I’ll need you to sign some of these before Wednesday. Some designs for an upcoming project need an approval and I thought you’d be the best for that task. And I- ...” She stopped, finally noticing the other mutant. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

“Absolutely not,” smiled Donnie, properly holding the documents now. “We had just finished our small meeting, actually.” He gestured the woman to his brother: “Raph, this is Vee, our newest project manager addition.”

The red clad turtle grinned, extending his hand to the human in a proper greeting.

“Ah yes, Donnie mentionned you a couple of times.”

“Oh dear, I hope it wasn’t in a bad way,” lightly laughed Vee, shaking Raph’s hand.

“I would never,” reassured Donnie gently, his free hand instinctively resting at the small of her back.

A faint blush appeared on the woman’s cheeks, next adjusting her hold on the documents as her handshake with Raph ended.

“Not to be a party pooper, but I’ve gotta run,” she said with a smile. “I have a lot of stuff to hand out. Have a good day you two!”

She made sure to cross Donnie’s gaze before walking away, wanting to express her small longing to him. As she was back on her way, Raph did not hesitate to follow her frame, judging her for a moment. He finally looked back at Donnie with a look of approval.

“... Brother, you got taste.”

Donnie only replied by hiding his face with the documents he was holding.

***

Raph had said to not be scared, but Donnie couldn’t help still feeling that way. A part of him wanted to spend every moments with Vee, but on the other hand he didn’t want to appear too clingy or demanding. Gotta savor it like a fine wine, he’d try to reason. ... But frankly he just wanted to chug the damn bottle.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and so far he had only exchanged some words with her on Monday, then Wedneseday when he handed her back the approved documents he reviewed. Then he’d retreat to his office and think. And think. And think.

A ping from his computer got him out of his reverie, noticing a direct message notification.

His heart skipped a beat, his lips forming a thin line as he thought about what to answer.

Hey, wanna bang? Gosh, he felt dirty thinking about that... Keep it natural, Donnie, you don’t have to think about that for now. See where things go from there, naturally.

ABORT MISSION. ABORT MISSION. ABORT!!!! He felt so goddamn cheesy after sending that.

If it were up to him 100%, he’d get on his feet right this instant and sweep her off to anywhere she’d want to go. But he tried to keep it cool:

You’re the best one so far...

More like I’ll be lying down on the floor, a blushing mess. He couldn’t erase his smile, rereading again and again this conversation. He’d definitely have to think of something!

***

Later in the afternoon, as people were finishing their day, Donnie had reclused himself back into his drawing room, continuing some work on the Lowline plans. He was so focused that he did not hear Vee come in, the woman calmly making her way to his position.

“Hey...” she started softly, leaving a hand on his shoulder.

Donnie gasped, his hand holding a pencil jerking and leaving a long mark on the paper. Both froze, eyes wide as they witnessed the horror.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you that much!” apologized Vee, already on the look out for an eraser. “Here, let me help you with that.”

“No it’s alright. I, uh...”

Donnie’s sentence died as the woman was now hunched close to him, already removing traces of that nasty mistake.

“I could’ve done it. I...”

His voice was hushed, having a hard time to keep focus on Vee’s movement, prefering to look at her features instead.

“I ... I could do it,” he added.

Vee slowed her movement, finally looking at Donnie.

“Do what?”

He paused, his heart drumming in his chest.

“This...”

He delicately placed a finger under Vee’s chin, not even needing to move much in order to bring them both closer for a soft kiss. The woman was surprised at first, but she quickly melted, not even denying that she had been craving the feeling as well since that Saturday night... She dropped the eraser, her hands prefering to trail along the mutant’s scales. As they broke the kiss to breathe, Donnie brought her closer to his sitting position, Vee now standing inbetween his legs. No words needed to be said, this sudden electrifying feeling passing through them. The terrapin’s hands couldn’t get off of her, either lost in her hair or tracing her back. The more they joined in a kiss, the more they wanted to be closer. At some point the turtle acted on instinct as he rose up, his hold on the woman’s hips as he laid her against the inclined drafting board. The paper crinkled underneath, but he gave no care in the world about that. Their kiss was heating up, a low pleasured churr rumbling in Donnie’s chest as he stood close to Vee’s core, feeling her desire as strong as his.

The distant sound of people talking and laughing, still around and about to exit the building, brought them both to a stop - looking at the room’s entrance, as if afraid someone would pop in at any second.

Both were lightly panting, their smiles shy after what happened. Donnie took that moment of grace to study Vee’s features, gently brushing away some wild strands of hair off her face. He straightened his stance back up afterward, helping the woman back on her feet.

“Welp, and here I came only to wish you a good evening,” chuckled Vee, adjusting her clothes.

“I’m sorry,” added the mutant in a similar tone.

“Don’t be ... I liked that.”

She rested her hands on his chest, slowly rubbing the fabric of his shirt over his plastron.

“I can’t stay late tonight, but I won’t prevent you from doing so. ... Just don’t stay here too late though.”

“No promises.”

“Please, don’t overwork yourself,” softly pleaded Vee.

“Don’t worry...” he reassured with a smile, a hand cupping the other’s cheek.

They added one good evening kiss. Nothing more, nothing less. A pleasant omen for feelings to come...

((Part 8))

#it's-a-moi #business au #dammmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnn #usual sorry if there's mistakes #I need to go to bed right now #BUT I COULDN'T STOP WRITING FSDJFHBSDBFBSDHFBSD

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch1 reread thought dump lets goooo

@youngbloodbuzz  @romanitwontletmetagyouuuu??? thank u for writing this. in return I gift u this lightly unhinged commentary

oh the opening quote “Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?” violence

lmao ok I started this ages ago and then got distracted for a week because that’s just who I am as a person lets try that again

eddie n his glowing glasses nice we love a canon nod

ok I remember getting really emotional reading the chapter where Dani’s car died bc of what it represented to her n now I’m being reminded of it all again with the ‘poor little car’ comment oh dear we’re like 2 paragraphs in and I’m already compromised

the wavering reflection in the water in her hands..... Dani posessed by the ghost of comphet..... I am Drawing Conclusions

eddie “we can hang out more” dani “aha wouldn’t that be neat”

god the prom photo... remembering Dani’s meltdown at the prom bc she missed Jamie... I’m dying Jack I’m dying

lil palm kiss... I know u will not ever love hm that way Dani but fuck I’m a sucker for a palm kiss

lil nerd ass w her folder tabs I love her

god the tone of this is so comforting like I can just hang out n imagine each scene progressing so naturally. wish I did not have to suffer emotionally at the same time but at least it’s a smooth read

Dani feeling like an invader amongst all the physical representations of her relationship w eddie BABY U DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INFLUENCE UR LIFE AND RUIN UR HAPPINESS

“Hannah Grose, seamlessly elegant” yes

Hannah: congrats on ur engagement. Dani, with tears in her eyes: thank

Dani relaxing when they’re talking about teaching pls I love her love for it so much

Dani at the blackboard with the “Miss, Ms?” confusion now I am thinking about the Ted Moseby professor/proffessor scene. HIMYM my beloved

mikeyyyy my boy

the image of Dani w chalk dust on her skirt is v endearing.

oooh the library trip gay foreshadowing yes

wait the silver stars on his backpack......... cup of stars crying time

Mikey correcting her on his name when she was the one to give him the nickname in the first place... feeling some kind of way

Dani fostering the talents she sees in her kids is so sweet and mikey shy lil math genuis is also so sweet pls i love this duo

i do wonder if part of her is like I know a Mikey Taylor but I literally refuse to believe it is the same one bc his sister broke my heart and we are absolutely not in the business of confronting hard feelings in this house!!

keys on a lanyard... ok lesbian

“You’re still here?” the love I have for canon lines being used when I can hear them being said in my head

awww bonding over Wonder Woman. cute!!!! When Dani becomes Mikey’s official second mum (everyone be quiet I am manifesting) my heart will explode

eddie ur really just gonna rock up and toot at her. jail for 1000 years

ooohhh Dani is Realising who the sister is. honey you got a big storm comin. oof (the ‘wonder woman punching stars out of her foes” to “dani feeling like she’s just recieved a blow to the ribs.” the cinnamontography). aw baby :(

“Jamie. Jamie, here. Jamie, home.” please i am thinking about her last letter and I am not strong enough

“Somehow Eddie didn’t notice.” sum up a relationship in a sentence

“Jamie would appear, as if summoned by the gravity of Dani’s pounding heart” fuck this hits on so many levels I need to go think about my life for 45mins

CARSON MY BOY. in his studded leather. a fashionable gay never loses.

I looove how soft n caring Dani n Carson are with each other thank gods she has him.

DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CARSON AND JASON MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE STILL TINGLING FROM READING THIS THE FIRST TIME

god this post is already so long n I’m only halfway through why do I have so many silly thoughts

god just the... expectations of affection from her by eddie w that placating cheek kiss she gives him is like... I cannot imagine Jamie ever asking that from her in the same way even when they are in a relationship!!! and it’s not even wrong of him to do that??? but it’s just a lot to think about the kind of person Dani makes herself to be to stay with him vs the kind of person Jamie lets her be by not expecting anything of her. they’re such opposites

dani not even feeling at home in her own (former) home pls when is she going to find a soft place to land (it’s also making me think v hard about the title like... the haunting of Dani and Jamie’s relationship (and what that represents for Dani) on Dani’s whole life and Jamie coming home and bringing that to Dani’s doorstep. resurecting a ghost so to speak........ too many homes to think about. I don’t know if I fully understand but I am Thinking)

dani and her inhaler... asthmatic bitches represent

oh my god not the box of memories. been trying to erase that from my own for weeks now let me live

ooh the line about her feeling like an archaeologist at the start of this section and then her ‘exhuming the past’ w the photos of her n Jamie i love a consistent narrative.

THE MIXTAPE. THE MIXTAPE. is there a playlist for this chapter I would like to take that aural journey

oh no i cannot remember where the flower comes from but aahhh this box of memories pain.

this description of carson in a tight white undershirt tucked into his jeans makes me think of freddie mercury. didn’t mean to make you cry etc

lmao Dani trying to get info from Judy abt Jamie in a roundabout way... international superspy she is not

Dani entirely uncomfy in church... i feel it. godd the repression of it all w the movie and the feelings and the Jamie-influence on the feelings my heart hurts.

God knowing how much Judy loves her but the weight of that love also stifling her... pain

they’ve really got her all shacked up w a house and a husband and a kid on the way can we let the girl be a lesbian in peace (also lowkey hoping Dani gets some time on her own at some point no Eddie no Jamie no weight of expectations pls she needs it we all need it)

the thread of Dani refusing to do things for herself in order to make other people happy throughout this entire piece hits so fucking close to home and is entirely heartbreaking to read thank you

jamiiiiieeeeeeeee

Jamie: appears. Dani: every single emotion all at once

Judy and her girls back together is v sweet even if Dani is dying inside at it all

“Jamie only had eyes for Dani.” Again, sum up a relationship in a sentence.

What do you even say to a girl who *the sky goes dark as i attempt to even summarise a fraction of their relationship*. Apparently the answer is “Jamie. Hi.”

TWO MONTHS JAMIE TAYLOR. CRIMES

It’s ahh. fairly entertaining to be going through Dani’s emotional journey alongside her and knowing that Jamie is also Going Through It on some level but having 0 insights to it bc she keeps her emotions so in check.

oooh how much of a gut punch is this engagement revelation for Jamie??? like on some level I’m sure she always knew this was coming but I’m sure another part of her still desperately hoped one day Dani would choose her. god I would kill for Jamie’s POV in this scene

Jamie’s scarrrr. Literally Dani’s impact

oh fucking hell that moment of like... familiarity and almost a coming home for Dani when Judy is talking and she meets Jamie’s eyes... she really was entirely screwed from that moment on huh.

oof god this is a hell of an opening chapter lets see if my attention span will let me continue this journey (also @ myself reminder to read this all in chronological order one day for a real nice session of emotional destruction)

#bhah #bly manor fic #this is so chaotic i apologise to anyone who reads this #absolute delight tho i love writing out my rambling thoughts as I read #god i remeber reading this chapt when it first came out n i truly... had no idea what i was getting myself in for huh

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but! #theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

[louisloulouie]

So @timidlouie tagged me ages ago to do this and I kept wanting to do this and kept forgetting…. But thank you so much cause I love these things!!!

1. Why did you choose your url? My harry url made me uncomfortable after I came back to tumblr and I needed to embrace my louie lifestyle

2. Any side blogs? Multifandom in a single blog for life ✌🏽

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? 8 years since june 2013!!

4. Do you have a queue tag? Omg yes, if I didn’t have a queue tag I’d never post or I would just spam post (as if I dont already)

5. Why did you start your blog? My friend convinced me to make a blog when we both used to liked Dan and Phil

6. Why did you choose your pfp? Cinnamon roll hair Louis is the most superior Louis, I take no arguments sorry

7. Why did you choose your header? When I say I absolutely THRIVED over how gay She Ra ended, and that screenshot was just the most beautiful thing to me in the finale

8. What’s your post with the most notes? My dumbass post about Jesse McCartney

9. How many followers do you have? I can’t check while I’m writing this post but I know it’s a couple over 1,300

10. How many people do you follow? Almost 600 and I’ve learned this is a very not normal, very high amount of blogs to follow ☠️

11. Have you ever made a shitpost? Pls refer back to question 8

12. How often do you use Tumblr each day? Probably like 4 hours on average???? But then I’ll go a couple days without using it and just letting my queue run

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Hell no, I ain’t got no energy for that when tumblr is all about having fun for me

14. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? They are too guilt ridden, so I’ve never reblogged one before OR I’ve erased the added on comments that say it needs to be reblogged

15. Do you like tag games? Literally all! The! Time! I love talking about myself obvs

16. Do you like ask games? In theory yes but I never reblog them because I know I won’t get asks

17. Which of your mutuals do you think are Tumblr famous? I have always thought and continue to think @gloryhalleloujah and @dearmrsawyer are tumblr famous (I got very excited when they followed me)

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual? I don’t get serious crushes technically, but @chrisevansnudes posts the most beautiful selfies and has the best personality so lowkey, maiya is basically my tumblr crush

And now finally, I am tagging Christina, Jamila, and Maiya since I technically tagged you all already????? Also @lia-is-in-love @expensiveharry @littlemixer7 @moonlightsson and whoever else is reading and wants to do this. Sorry if tagging is weird, I just genuinely love doing and reading these!

#(also lowkey I think my most popular posts are from when Jay died) #(cause I think those got around 4k notes but thst feels awkward to link to) #(and by awkward I mean disrespectful)

[nakunakunomi]

Matchup for @elliemehl​

Hazel my dear, thank you for this wonderful event ❤️ you’re amazing and ILU sm, here’s some infos about me for the match up!

—–

Female, INFJ, Libra, I’m 1.73 tall and curvy, I have long and wavy ash-brown hair, hazel eyes and fair skin. I think my style can be described as casual fashion, but when I’m home I usually wear oversized tshirts and shorts!

I’m shy and reserved and I share very little about myself with others, but I’m also very open about my ideals. With people I care I’m soft and overprotective, and once you get to know me and I’m comfortable around you, I hardly shut up.

I’m clumsy af, lazy, messy, I get easily distracted and I can be a bit bratty sometimes. I also have the worst sleeping habits, I go to sleep at impossible hours, sleep a little and take naps through the day.

I like the comfort of my home, my favorite food is pizza and when I’m not drawing you can catch me playing videogames or watching movies! I love and am attracted by neon/bright colors.

A fact about me is that I’m quite a good swimmer, I started swimming at a very young age and I used to spent 90% of my time at the beach in the water as a kid (this hasn’t changed now that I’m an adult tbh).

Ellie! I love you and your patience!! I am SO SO SO Sorry for making you wait one eternity and three hours! I hope you can enjoy this matchup, I took some liberties with it QwQ. I match you with.... 

OTP: Mihawk

Hear me out! I am not gonna lie, and in my elimination process, once we talked about not minding the elder man and even sometimes preferring them, I just went on scratched out all the babies and then through further process of elimination I got you one (1) goth dad(dy)! Jokes aside, let’s get into the matchup! 

While Mihawk is more on the classy side of the spectrum of One Piece men, don’t you ever think for a second this man is boring, his dry observations are incredibly funny, never failing to make you laugh while maintaining a straight face himself. He knows how to deal with your more messy and bratty side, straightening you out a little without either of you actually realizing it. 

Mihawk is quite the romantic once he’s fallen for someone (which is rare) and fits a more indoor-prone lifestyle very well. It’s not like you never go out -quite the contrary, there’s regular trips mentioned later and the occasional dinner out- but he actually prefers staying in, sharing a home-made meal and a couch in close proximity. 

He will regularly return home with little things that reminded him of you, and the way he presents them is not really sappy but just a genuine, almost deadpan expression of how you occupy his minds. Flowers are pretty high on the gift-list as well. 

Favorite dates are lowkey and inside, but every once in a while he will take you on the tiny boat to a gorgeous island with the bluest lake you have ever seen, with nice rocks so you can jump into the water and enjoy the entire day swimming! He will not join you in the water out of his own volition, but if you ask nicely... well there is no one around, and as a pirate he’s quite the good swimmer as well. 

Rounding it off for the sake of it becoming too long, but Mihawk takes proper care of you, drawing you nice-smelling baths with candles lit around it whenever you’ve had an extremely tiring day, and even learning how to bake your favorite pizza’s. And he has just the right wine to go along with it. 

Runner up: Trafalgar Law

Okay look. With every single one of these I tried to erase all the things in my mind that I already knew. And yet here we are with one (1) sleep deprived gremlin for your match. 

Law matches so well with the third paragraph of your description, you can be both working on whatever is occupying your brain at 3 am, grab a coffee and then finally get to sleep around sunrise, maybe just a little nap, before returning to what you were doing before. Law is all for the softer affection and sharing a nap is one of them!

Why is not your number 1 match: Well, say goodbye to any pattern or daily routine because honestly the two of you would spiral, I feel like your match would be someone you can lean on a little more, and who will take a little better care. Another -maybe more stupid- deal breaker is that you can never go on swimming dates, and that’s also sad. If you can get over that all, it’s a great match still! 

BrOTP: Shirahoshi 

Hear me out! Shirahoshi is a little young, but I feel like she would be a wonderful friend for you! She is an absolute lovely girl ready to shower you with all the love and praise and fuel your confidence! 

Shirahoshi knows all the best ways to just sit inside and chill and genuinely have enjoyable days while not putting too much effort into all the things! Your basic hangout days are just self care to the max, sharing your favorite food and pampering yourselves and each other. 

Shirahoshi is a great listener, and while she does not always come up with the best advice, she is actually excellent at just offering comfort and keeping secrets! She also is always down to fangirl over actual crushes and fictional ones! She tends to hyperfixate a little so drag her into your hobbies and you have someone to talk with for forever! 

#Naku no matchup #500 followers event #one piece #one piece matchup

[a-queen-of-the-clouds]

ultimate beatlemaniac tag game

Thank you for tagging me on this, gorgeous @femininehygieneproducts !! It was really fun to answer💕✌🏾

How long have you been a fan?:

Actually for a long time now. I started listening to them when I was 13 but became a real fan at 14. I have told this story before but basically I wanted to have more “musical background” and I tried to listen to classic rock, but I just ended up loving The Beatles and not listen to anything else, lol. 

Favorite Beatle:

Idk if this is obvious since I spend a lot of my time defending Paul (as he deserves), but John is actually my favorite❤️ He has been since forever. I love that blind bisexual so much I could cry. 

Favorite era for music:

Rubber Soul and Revolver. I think it captures the commercial and fun side of the first years with the maturity and evolution of the late ones. The best of both worlds, babe

Favorite era for lewks:

1965 because HAIR (!!!!) 😍🤤

Favorite song:

In My Life🥺😍😭🌈

Favorite album:

Rubber Soul forever and always ✌🏾 Although I can cheat on her with Help! 

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion:

I don’t like Yoko. Plus, I really don’t care about disc 2 of The White Album. I would DIE for disc 1 but as soon it ends I skip it right away, (sorry please don’t kill me) 

A song everyone loves but you dislike:

Idk if everyone loves it, but I have seen a lot of people praising Tomorrow Never Knows and I just… don’t get it (? Maybe I’m 2 dumb and musically ignorant but i just don’t understand the love, sorry 

A song everyone dislikes but you love:

I know Maxwell’s Silver Hammer doesn’t count since we now know it’s a bop but let’s say that one cause I can’t think of any another and because Paul deserves the love. 

Your fantasy involving The Beatles:

I just wanna see them interact 🥺 I would give everything I have just to see them recording, during lunch break or just hanging out in John’s pool, lol. I don’t even wanna be in the conversation, just listen to them talk and to see how they really were in a safe and private space. My dream. 

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan:

When I could FINALLY tell each one of them apart, lol 

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck!’ phase before becoming a fan?:

Not really, but I have a “Paul McCartney is not as cool as John Lennon” phase which honestly (?? WTF, so gross of me🤢🤮

Favorite Beatles book:

This is the moment when you all realize I’m an ignorant bitch that doesn’t read beatles books, hehe😁

Thoughts on the old generation of fans:

I think grandmas and grandpas are cool since most of them are here just for the music, and also have the most endearing takes on the boys (who doesn’t love a granny talking about how Paul was the love of her life? lol) but those 50-40 year old men that act entitled and are just boomers… Gross. 

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?:

The fun parts!!!! Please, I’m tired of dramatic biopics only talking about John’s awful childhood or their breakup. I want a fake documentary comedy where I can see them just being stupid, witty and funny. 

And if you MUST make a dramatic movie then I want the writers behind Netflix’s The Crown ‘cause 👌🏾👌🏾💯💯

Also, just give George and Ringo a personality, please. 

Do you read/write fanfic?:

I used to do it a lot when I was a teenager, like A LOT. Now I don’t really have time to read anything): I once wrote a very long fic about John and a random girl that was just a projection of myself lol, it was so bad please don’t talk to me about it.

Right now I’m writing a novel inspired by The Beatles so I guess you can count that as a fic. 

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?:

Yep. 

Are you a shipper?:

Not really, since I’m 1000% something went on between John and Paul, and I don’t ship anyone else. (ok I might lowkey ship John and Linda in a platonic bffs way but don’t make me start on THAT) 

Favorite movie starring/made by them?:

Help! It’s my comfort movie, I love everything about it. 

Do you believe in McLennon?:

Do you believe in gravity? 

General opinions on McLennon?:

I’m 100% sure something went on there, like I’ve said before. I don’t think it necessarily was sexual or romantic, but I truly believe they were more than friends in a way that maybe not even they could understand. Also, there’s a HUGE part of The Beatles break up we don’t know about and I have no doubt it has to do with the two of them. 

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would it be and why?:

Just how things ended, really. It’s so sad and tragic that such a real and beautiful friendship ended up like that, and just because of male ego and lack of communication skill. It sucks. 

What song has the best vocals?:

Oh Darling! Honestly, Paul wtf?? 

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?:

It’s Only Love. Don’t get me wrong, It’s on my top 10 but It’s just so short and it ends up so fast that I have this feeling that John wrote it in ten minutes, went to the studio and finished it in one take. 

What is a well talked about moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?:

It’s not false, but I do think the whole Brian and John affair is often blown out of proportion. Like, yeah obviously Brian had a crush on him but people make it seem like he was a lost puppy that walked behind John just drooling. And idk but that doesn’t sit well with me. As I’ve said before, everybody had a crush on John but people make him and Brian a thing just because Eppy was gay. 

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history?:

That John loved that stupid band and was very engaged with it until 1968. 

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s):

MUSTACHES (!!!!) 

Favorite look from a Beatle(s):

How they look during 1965 because, again, HAIR!!! 😍🤤

This was SO much fun!! Thank you for creating it, girl @femininehygieneproducts ❤️❤️❤️ Also, I tag everyone who wants to do it, lol 

#I love answer questions about the beatles #my ask box is open if you want to keep talking about any of this #❤️ #the beatles #the beatles tag game #tagged in #femininehygieneproducts

[knightofameris]

GASAAHHHH THAT OIKAWA RANT WAS SO LONG IM SO SORRY BUT HERES SUGA (more like just comparing suga and oikawa but that’s ok ALSO none of this makes sense i hate it here bye) ;—;

honestly, ima be real here - suga was one of those people i instantly fell in love with. it was like the polar opposite of how i felt about oikawa (i’ll get to that in a moment.) i saw him and my heart went !!! and i loved him! there’s no other way for it. i classified him as the sweet boy of karasuno, and in some ways that is correct. but OP’s analysis of him has me thinking (as everything does LOL) and now, looking back to every scene that includes him, i slap myself for not realizing sooner just how AMAZING sugawara koushi is.

once again, like OP said, sugawara is so so quick to dismiss his own needs and jealousy. when it comes down to himself and the team, his ability to completely erase himself from the situation is.... frightening. he is able to put the needs of everyone else before his, which is, in some cases, good, but also uhhh- definitely not lol. which honestly brings me back to oikawa (UGH ik ik i cant shut up about bitchboy).

oikawa and suga are introduced in haikyuu as two completely different people. which- they are! but the difference in them is prominent to a viewer who has never seen either before. while suga is introduced as this warm, optimistic person who’s ready to help his team, oikawa is introduced as...well, the villain. he’s the big boss everyone needs to beat. with almost everyone i’ve talked to, they’ve admitted to loving suga and hating oikawa at first. but they’re similar!

both suga and oikawa have dealt with the force that is known as kageyama. kageyama has always been that presence in their mind that irritates them; suga is more lowkey about it, while oikawa is obviously very vocal and external in his responses. but both feel overshadowed by their junior, which i find hella interesting - because they both seem to dislike each other when competing in the spot for nationals. kageyama is the thing they share in common- but! the way they approach it is the key in how their characters differ.

sugawara takes kageyama’s appearance as a challenge, but ultimately gives up. he comes to the realization that, for the better of the team, he should sacrifice his sets and his hunger to win. oikawa somehow becomes more self-centered when kageyama comes into the picture. he is more power-hungry and anxious to win and prove himself, rather than back down.

IDK MAN. suga just makes me realize just how lucky some of us are to be where we are right now. sugawara koushi is probably one of the most selfless people i know, yet he’s also so,,,, how do i put this,,,,, ambitious? he is also always searching for more, but in a TEAM. he is so so so supportive, always reaching, always being the one ppl can fall back on and he guides them to where they need to be. he seems firm in his resolve that he can be that natural leader that yes, does have mom qualities, but also can be a bit harsh and a bit impulsive in his actions. he sacrifices and some people don’t even realize it. and yet he ALSO keeps going, no matter what, just like oikawa (yet probably not as fiery lol)

so. if i’m being honest. they would be best friends lol THIS WAS ALL JUST SO MUCH BRAINROT IM SO SORRY I HAVE SUCH STRONG FEELINFS ABOUT THESE TWO BUT NONW OF IT MAKES SENSE I JUST WANNA GIVE THEM BOTH BIG HUGS AND TELL THEM THEYRE DOING AMAZINF —🧸

again, i love how you phrased all of this because yeah! Suga and Oikawa both have to deal with someone more talented than themselves, they just both go about it in a different way and AHHHHH i fuckin glove it because there isn’t one “right” or “better” way. it depends on who it is and all of that. 

AND ALL OF THIS IS ALSO WHY I LOVE SUGAWARA KOUSHI SO MUCH. PLEASE. 

i really don’t have more to add honestly

link to the post that are being referenced: link

#sugawara koushi #sugawara kōshi #character analysis #meta #KJFAK;DFLAJSF #goodbye #i love this and i love you!!! #long post #a.responds #a.anonfamily!! #from.🧸 #a.inspiration

[chrisemrysfics]

I woke up today thinking about my dgm mdzs crossover I want to indulge in, and just like that, I suddenly realized, “but if I do a split like Mana and Nea, wouldn’t WWX and MXY be babies???” and as cute as this would be, unless I change the timeline and figure out how they grow up, it would be a logistic pain.

Unless Allen feels that and come grab the babies and then I play with the Ark and makes it that time pass differently. Now that’s an idea... Maybe one of the what if side stories.

Yes my self control has gone off the window, but hey, how can I resist mixing my two fave fandoms, and how can I not indulge in the different versions of my initial idea of Noah!WWX.

For the curious, here’s under the read more the basic ideas I’ve had!

Which. Got long but. Yeah. Have fun with the thinking I’ve done for this. I’m pretty sure I do intend to write things, just might take a while so have fun with knowing the ideas!

(In which I ended up thinking I might just do a series with each “story” being collection of scenes for each different branching I can think of, because honestly I cannot choose between all the options).

(And I haven’t touched yet the idea of an actual full out crossover, where there’s actual dimension travel).

Worldbuilding is based on the idea that DGM canon happened millennias before MDZS canon, and at the end of the Holy War, there was a reset of the world, which allowed a new world to emerge and so this how I explain how the world for this went from what it is in dgm canon to how it is in mdzs canon.

So this means I can then add the fact all humans still are descendants of the Noahs, but the gene is dormant and the Noahs don’t mean to ever wake/reincarnate again.

Thing is, spiritual energy pretty much is the “descendant” of Innocence and resentful energy is the “descendant” of Dark Matter.

Other thing is, humans ended up viewing spiritual energy as the “righteous” path and haven’t touched resentful energy, or anyone who did try, never really managed to.

So, enter Wei Wuxian who is the first human to actually use resentful energy, cultivate with it, handle a large amount of it, and also who first contact with it is being thrown in the biggest amount of it and surviving and taming it out of pure willpower.

Then he uses it in large amount during the Sunshot Campaign, including the very powerful Stygian Tiger Seal. He never stops using it, if not as deeply as during the campaign, and eventually, he goes live in the Burial Mound again.

So what I mean is, from the moment he is thrown in Burial Mound, he has been in contact with deep, deep level of resentful energy. And not only is he the first human to do so, he also is without a golden core or spiritual cultivation, which means he has zero “descendant” of Innocence in him.

Then he dies, in Burial Mound, however his soul isn’t actually destroyed. I always kind of headcanoned that his soul was “kept safe” in the Burial Mounds, and in this case, it’s even more true.

So his soul, who has been already exposed to resentful energy since he was thrown to Burial Mounds, stays years directly exposed to resentful energy.

And then Mo Xuanyu calls him into his body via sacrifice ritual.

And the thing is, all that resentful energy had already stirred Wei Wuxian’s Noah gene, but this is a final drop. Because what it does to Wei Wuxian’s soul is to feel like he’s being reincarnated into a host, which is how Noahs would reicarnated.

And so, when Wei Wuxian is called back into Mo Xuanyu body, what he doesn’t know is that his Noah’s gene has been triggered, and he is fated to go through a Noah’s Awakening and become a Noah himself.

And because he is the first Noah since the world reset, and all Noahs were dormant, there is only one Noah that he can be as the first: The First, the Millennium Earl, Adam.

Initially, I just thought he would be super confused and a little scared, thinking something is wrong with the ritual, because he would be in lowkey Awakening process from the moment he wakes in Mo Xuanyu body. He would feel pain and headaches and feverish often, and at some point, he would go actual Awakening with it being really painful and high fever, and probably not super long but not quick either.

Then I had the idea of how Adam split into Mana and Nea in DGM canon, and so Mo Xuanyu actually survives the ritual because they kind of split rather than Mo Xuanyu being erased; and so yes Mo Xuanyu is fated to Awaken too because both his and Wei Wuxian’s body are “marked” as Noahs (with Noah gene triggered).

My idea is that they do end up like twins, with their appearance a mix of Wei Wuxian’s physical traits and Mo Xuanyu’s physical traits. Basically, for a brief moment, there is one body that has both of their souls, so this body is both of them, and then it splits, into two “twins”.

Which does mean they both have both of their bloodline. So both of them are the sons of Wei Changze, Cange Sanren, Young madam Mo, and Jin Guangshan, by blood.

Pending to decide is whether WWX inherit Mana and MXY inherit Nea (or vice versa, WWX inheriting Nea and MXY inheriting Mana) with Adam existing in both of them; or WWX inherits the whole package and MXY is considered a new Noah (without a Noah’s Memory; considered the first generation of 15th Noah?).

Of course, it did help in MXY case that he touched such a ritual, as again, resentful energy is the “descendant” of Dark Matter. But you know who else deeply touched resentful energy? Xue Yang.

Now the thing is, it is only when WWX (and MXY) awakens that other Noahs can awaken. Now the question I still ask myself is if XY start to awaken at the same time (slower process?), not long after (slow process still?), or only when he comes face to face the first time with WWX (and/or MXY).

And the thing is, Noahs value each other deeper than anything, on an instinctual basis. WWX hates what XY has done, but as a Noah, who can sense a fellow Noah, he feels kinship. As for MXY, he has mixed feelings, and he too would feel kinship, and because he does, it’s even harder for WWX to hate XY himself. At the same time, XY feels, well, Adam is considered the Patriarch, lowkey the father figure of all Noahs, the leader for sure, so XY instinctively doesn’t want to disappoint WWX.

There’s no escaping that XY is Awakening too, so WWX end up objectively thinking, okay, he’s a Noah, he’s mine, so I’m now responsible for him. And ultimately, between XY own wish for someone to care for him (which he views as “someone to give him candy every day”) and his Noah’s instincts who takes delight in being cared for by Adam, WWX manages to bring XY to grey-er area.

Which Noahs does XY Awaken as? I have not yet fully decided, but honestly, Joyd seems like a good match. It also helps that Joyd, and the previous incarnation, Tyki, is actually pretty grey, loves having both white and black, and Tyki himself did have affection for some humans and was pretty laid back. Joyd would be able to “balance” XY and bring this more balance, more grey personality.

Also yes, Allen is meant to show up, I still haven’t fully decided if Nea is in fact still within his body, and so like, whether WWX or MXY is meant to be “Nea”, they really need to find him so they can be complete, so they would also poke awake Allen. That or just, Allen wakes?

Okay but the thing is, I also loved the idea that Nea was indeed still hosted by Allen, so only Mana is hosted by WWX, and when WWX awakens it becomes a big issue because he’s not stable as he’s missing a part of the whole package.

So yeah I need to decide who host who, and how it plays out.

To be fair, that particular issue of not being complete can play out easily in the what if side stories, as it’s only in this main story (default story?) that there’s this whole split.

Now about the side stories/what if fics

WWX and MXY actually splits as babies, the same way Mana and Nea in dgm canon split from Adult!Adam into two “twin” babies. Allen senses it and find them, and raise them. Problem to figure out is timeline. Also once they’re adult, it goes pretty much similar to how I would view the main/default story, I think. Maybe. For now this is really just the faint idea of them actually splitting into babies and Allen grabbing them. Parental Allen to WWX and MXY.

WWX awakens as a Noah when Wen Chao throws him in the Burial Mounds. Probably, he does start to work on cultivating resentful energy, but he also Awakens, and in this context, he’s... more Noah than human. And by that I mean he’s easily more bloodthirsty, sadistic, and merciless. And a good dose of not mentally stable. It can smoothe out though, as a Noah he really values “family” and so his siblings can stabilize his mental state. But also, he’s way more into protecting the Jiang, his “clan”, and especially his siblings. He won’t want to leave them, he would rather make it clear you are doomed if you so much as plot against them. But also, he’s more likely to be less closed off to his siblings.

WWX awakens at some point during the two years (in my timeline of MDZS) he lived in Burial Mounds. Give a good scare of the Wen, especially Wen Qing who has no fricking idea what is happening to him and everyone lowkey afraid he’s just. Dying. Maybe Wen Ning actually “feels” something though? Like he can tell he’s not, and he’s like, “Jie, I think he’s... transforming?” and that’s another scare because they think he might be becoming a demon. But yes, eventually, he awakens, and the thing is, he becomes a Noah when he has a whole group of people under his care. He has a “clan”, a family, a son, and siblings. So in this scenario, it’s the Noahs familial instincts that are stronger, and WWX really wants to protect the Wens, but also wants his siblings. And so, well he’s still deeply protective, but he actually also kind of, manage more peaceful approach. He wants to reconnect with the Jiang, and for that, he is aware that he needs to not make it harder, which. Is totally the influence of Mana too.

WWX awakens when he means to die with the backlash of destroying the Seal, and that idea demands in itself branching off ideas. Because A) he can awaken in front of everyone and A-1) vanish into the Ark and everyone kinda knowing he probably didn’t die or A-2) he doesn’t vanish and everyone like “now what”; B) he awakens precisely as he’s being eaten by the corpse which, B-1) might mean his corpse start getting “scared” when they sense his Noah aura (and so everyone kind of see something is going on) or B-2) it’s agony because for a few moments he’s just being eaten and also regenerating, and then B-2-a) does he do a power blast and everyone like “what the heck” or B-2-b) does someone notice he’s not dying and maybe it’s JC and maybe he’s like “okay wtf no” or B-2-c) No one notices so maybe he slips off (unless he vanished with Ark). And then C) whether he vanishes into the ark and/or no one notice he’s not dying (and manages to slip off to hide), he would want to go take A-Yuan and so C-1) does he manage to do so when everyone thinks he’s dead? C-2) does he manage to do so but also everyone is aware he probably didn’t dit? C-3) is there a time lapse between his “death” (or escape) and when he gets himself to find A-Yuan and so Lan Wangji shows up? C-3a) does LWJ see him?? C-3b) does he not see him and WWX decides A-Yuan might be better with LWJ??

Why do I do this to myself, I don’t know, but it’s fun to think about it all. Maybe some might be collections of scenes and such, rather than a proper storyline. Even if main/default, I kind of have to decide when the Awakening actually completes (aka how long WWX is lowkey always sick), as then it can vary greatly what happens if he’s already an awakened Noah. There can even be post canon awakening soooo.

Maybe it’s not that I’ll have “main/default” and “side” stories, maybe I’ll just have a series that has a “basic worldbuilding” one shot and then stories that are collection of scenes and each story has a specific type of settings?? Honestly I probably need to do that, to first have properly and all clear the worldbuilding, then also the few points where WWX could awaken and the different branching it can do, and then give a nickname to each branch and write scenes for each however inspiration come.

#Fics ramble

[nctwd127]

Arranged Marriage.

Chapter Thirteen.

Word Count: 3154

Notes: This is just a sad chapter overall and I was lowkey in my feelings when I was writing this. There was one scene here that I felt in my soul when I wrote it, lets see if can tell which one it is. 

Once the sun set, Lucas and I pulled away from each other and acted as if nothing happened. It didn’t feel weird or awkward. The walk back to the car was quiet. The path was a little dark for my eyes to adjust well too so I didn’t see the branch on the floor causing me to trip.

I squealed when I went forward and knocked into Lucas’s back. “Are you okay?’ he asked turning to me worried, holding me by the arms. “Yeah sorry, I just didn’t see that branch. Did I hit you too hard?”

He smiled at me, “Nothing I need to go to the hospital for.” I smiled back hitting his arm. “Give me your hand so that you don’t trip again.” He took hold of my hand and laced our fingers together before he started walking again.

Even after we got out of the path and into the park, he didn’t let go of my hand. Not like I wanted him too anyway. We walked over to the car hand in hand, with the bouquet of flowers in my other hand. As always, he opened the car door for me before he got into his side.

The drive back to my house wasn’t long enough and that made me upset because I was back to my reality. The one where afternoons like this only exist every once in a while instead of all the time. Where afternoons like this made living with Yuta a nightmare because once I stepped inside he’d go crazy.

Parked in front of my house, Lucas got out and opened my door again. I thanked him as he walked me to the door. “Thank you so much for this afternoon Lucas, really. You have no idea how much it meant to me.”

“Of course, I’d do anything to see you as happy as you were today.”

We hugged each other goodbye and parted ways. I watched as he drove away, waving me goodbye before I walked into my home. Bracing myself for whatever commotion Yuta was going to cause.

Walking into the house, only the light of the hallway was on. It was quiet and no sound was heard in the halls. “Yuta?” I called out, walking to the kitchen looking for something to put my flowers in. I didn’t hear an answer so I carried on about my business.

I arranged the flowers in the vase to my liking before I took them to my room. Once satisfied with my arrangement I turned with the vase in hands to head out. But almost dropped them when I saw Yuta leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a hard expression on his face.

“Nakamoto, what the fuck! You scared me!” I exclaimed walking past him to head up to my room. He quietly followed behind me all the way up to my room. He welcomed himself inside and just stared as I set the flowers down on my dresser.

“Who gave you those flowers?” He asked, his voice stern. “You already know who so I don’t know why you’re asking.” I answered moving away to admire them and then turning to look at him. Yuta looked angry but that wasn’t new.

He took a step forward and I stayed in place. I wasn’t going to back down to him anymore. I was tired of having to defend everything I did and who I did it with. He didn’t own me and I definitely didn’t owe him shit.

“Where did you go?” He questioned when he stood face to face with me.

“Look.” I sighed before bringing my stare back to him. “This is the first good day I’ve had in the past two weeks, don’t ruin it for me Yuta.”

“Then stop doing stupid shit you know is going to piss me off. It’s that simple princess.” He shot back. I scoffed and walked away from him. “Get out of my room. I don’t have to give you explanations for anything that I do or don’t do.” I held the door open for him.

“I hate to break it to you princess but you do. We’re engaged now. You owe me explanations especially when you go out with people I told you I don’t want you around.” He argued back staying put in the middle of my room.

“You don’t own me. And most definitely don’t give me orders Nakamoto. I am free to see anyone and everyone I want. Your words mean nothing to me.” I spat back. He walked over to me and grabbed me by the arm.

“You sure you want to play this game with me princess? I already warned you once, I am capable of so much more than you think. Don’t test me.” He warned me, his grip tightening more. His eyes pierced into mine making it hard to keep the contact but I didn’t want to give into him again.

“Then stop provoking me and I won’t provoke you. It’s that simple Nakamoto.” I mocked him pulling away from him. He actually let go and backed up with a smirk resting on his face.

It’s like he gets pleasure out of our fighting.

“I’m just saying (Y/N), you could be having good days with me too if you would just accept this.” He stated, his voice hiding an emotion I couldn’t quite pick up. I looked at him in disbelief.

“As if I could ever.”

“You did before.”

“What?” I breathe out.

The anxiety of him probably remembering me started to build up. I could feel the way my chest started to tighten as the seconds passed and my hands get clammy. My eyes searched his for any kind of answer but none was given.

“Back when we were friends, we used to have good days left and right. But then you all of a sudden just turned on me.” Yuta sounded hurt, he was hurt. His face showed clear signs of sadness and that hit me hard.

Harder than it should have.

“After my accident, you got distant. You wouldn’t call me or text me like before. You didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. I tried time and time again to see you and just nothing. You were someone I called my best friend and then you left me like if I was nothing to you.”

To this day, he still doesn’t know I was in that accident with him. To this day, he still believes that I was away for the summer.

With the fresh wave of emotions hitting me, I turned my back to him hiding away the tears I felt burn my eyes. Hurting and aching over my own loses, I never stopped for a second to think about how Yuta felt when I stopped appearing in his life as often as I did and then just all together, erased myself from his life.  

It’s been three months since the accident and Yuta has still showed no signs of getting his memory back or even remembering anything related to us. I locked myself away in my room, spending every waking moment crying and aching.

Mourning the losses of two people I loved, in the silence that only made things worse but it was out of the question to ever bring this out into the open for people to know.

The version of Yuta that I fell in love with and our baby were only mine. No one was going to take that away from me. Those memories are only mine and no one else’s.

The first three months of the school year, I was home schooled because I couldn’t make it past my bedroom door. I couldn’t step into the real world past the walls of my home.  

Yuta came around as often as he could but seeing him knowing he’s not the same person I had in my arms, was too much for my mental health. After the first month and half, the nightmares started happening so I asked my parents to stop letting him in. Not understanding the state I was in, no questions were asked and they just did it.

He blew up my phone with calls, texts, and endless notifications of just anything that my phone was off during the day and turned on only at night when I knew he was sleeping.

[Osaka Prince]: Where you been butt cheek?

[Osaka Prince]: Let’s hang out, I miss seeing you.

[Osaka Prince]: I miss you. Answer my calls. Or my texts. Anything. Let me know you’re alive.

[Osaka Prince]: Did I do something to you? Why did you tell your parents to not let me in?

[Osaka Prince]: I’m sorry for whatever I did. Please talk to me. I want to fix this, I don’t want to lose our friendship.

At the start of the New Year, with much hesitation, I decided to attend school again. My parents were fine with whatever I decided that was better for me, my depression was still high but I knew it was time I stepped out of my house.

Maybe I should have waited a little longer.

Ignoring Yuta in the comfort of my house was easy but it was very different seeing him at school. Where I couldn’t run away and hide, where I couldn’t cry as freely as I had in my house. Any class I had with him, I switched out of and made sure our free times never matched.

I even made three new friends to spend most of my time with. New people that could ease the pain I carried in the depths of my soul.  

[Osaka Prince]: (Y/N) this is getting ridiculous. You won’t answer my calls or text and now you’re ignoring me at school too? You won’t even look at me?

[Osaka Prince]: I miss you so much. I want my best friend back (Y/N), bring her back.

[Osaka Prince]: Don’t do this to me, please. I need you in my life, you’re my best friend. Please.  

[Osaka Prince]: Who were those guys you were hanging out with? I haven’t seen them before. Are they new? Why was that one bunny looking guy all over you?

Every time the word ‘friend’ was read in his text messages, it felt like a knife was being plunged into the depths of my heart.

Without realizing it, the tears fell and I couldn’t help but audibly weep into my hands. I could still see his texts play behind my eyelids as if I had read them yesterday. I could still see his face clear as day when I walked past him when he stood in front of me trying to talk to me. I forced myself to look past him, to not even acknowledge his presences.  

Yuta didn’t say anything, he came behind me and wrap his arms around my shoulders, holding me. I wanted this to be home, I wanted this be more. I wanted him to comfort me when I lost our baby but he didn’t because he couldn’t. He didn’t know me the way I knew him. I wanted him to fucking remember me.

But it was too late, I didn’t want this anymore. I just wanted my life back. Even if that meant that it would change the way things were now. Things that maybe I didn’t want to change.

I turned in his hold and pushed against his chest so he could let me go. “Leave.”

“What?” He asked, confused. His eyes searched for something more in mine.

“Leave! Please just get out and leave me alone Yuta. I don’t want to see you anymore.” I started to get worked up causing the volume in my voice to raise. He stepped closer and I stepped back. “Don’t come closer to me. Please just leave.”

There were so many different and new emotions running through Yuta that he didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt overwhelmed and frustrated at how easy my whole demeanor towards him changed in the snap of a finger.

Last night felt right, felt like something we did a lot despite it only being the second time we did what we did. Somewhere in his heart, he felt like it was normal. Waking up and seeing my face as the first thing, filled him with a warmth.

Yuta started to feel the faint feeling of being home.  

And now today I’m crying in his face about the things he said, yelling at him to leave. He was confused and hurt.

“I don’t fucking get you!” He barked before stomping out of my room. I heard his footsteps go all the way downstairs and then the front door being opened and then slammed closed. The engine of his car roared through the night and then sped away.

I dropped to my knees, hunched over and banging on the floor with my fist, “This isn’t fucking fair!” I yelled, choking on my tears. “I wish I didn’t know what it was like to love you Yuta. I wish I could forget about everything the way the memories were wiped out of you.”

The ach in my throat from crying all night, bothered me all morning as I got ready to attend my classes for the day. Yuta didn’t seem to have come home last night as his bedroom was still opened, when it was always closed and his car wasn’t in the driveway either when I walked out.

Pulling into the parking lot, the boys were there waiting for me like usual expect Doyoung wasn’t there. Something told me that it wasn’t for a good reason. I don’t think I could handle anything else after last night right now. I got out of the car and went right into Hendery’s and Ten’s arms.

They didn’t hesitate to hold me tight against them. “You okay?” Ten mumbled against my hair. I sighed and nodded my head no. I stepped away from them with a sad smile and went to Lucas.

“What’s wrong?” Lucas cooed wrapping his arms around me, tight. Hendery and Ten looked at each other confused, trying to read each other’s expression. They felt like this missed out on something by the way Lucas and I hugged each other.  

“Where’s Doyoung?” I asked into Lucas’s chest. He tensed under my head and the other two boys cleared their throats not sure what they were supposed to answer. “That was enough of an answer.” I pulled away from Lucas just enough to turn in his hold to face them.

“I’m okay not knowing today.” I lied.

We agreed to meet for lunch at our usual place and parted ways. Lucas walked me to class and on the way there, I explained to him last night. This time I wasn’t emotional, just numb. There wasn’t much or anything he could do to make this better but his presences around me was more than enough to help me sooth.  

Walking in to the room, there was no sign on Yuta. The lesson passed by and he never showed. The rest of the day went by and still nothing. Jaehyun wasn’t in the last lesson either. And according to the boys, no one saw Sicheng or Taeyong all day either. So it was safe to assume that they were all together and Yuta was fine.

Unlocking the door to my home, I stepped in to be greeted by the obnoxious sounds of boys yelling at the television in the living room. I don’t know why I didn’t cross my mind that they were here. But Yuta wasn’t sitting with them.

“Where’s Yuta?” I asked stepping in and taking their attention away from the screen. They all looked at each other, Jaehyun had his usual smirk, whereas Taeyong refused to meet my eyes. And Sicheng’s face had a mixture of two emotions I couldn’t decipher.  

Behind me, the laughter of a girl coming down the stairs was heard. And then the footsteps of whom I assume was Yuta. She stepped into the living room and stopped when she was me. To say the least, she was surprised.

So was I when I scanned her being and saw she sported fresh hickeys on her neck. Close behind her, a shirtless, now brown haired Yuta walked in, with matching marks on his neck. He didn’t bother acknowledging my existence or even sparing me a glance before he addressed his boys.

“I’m going to take her home. I’ll be back.”

He stepped out and went back up to his room to finish getting dressed, I assumed. Watching him leave, I saw how his back had fresh scratches.

The girl and I stared at each other as the boys looked between us.

“Who are you?” She asked me, the nervousness and the clear worry in her voice made me realize that she had no idea what Yuta just did.

“I’m the fiancé of the man that just fucked you in our home.” I answered with a deadpan look. This wasn’t her fault but nonetheless, it still came out harsh and hurt her.

“If you’ll excuse me now.” I announced to no one in particular and retreated into the kitchen, my feet feeling heavier than they ever have in my whole life. I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.

This hurt. It hurt a lot. In my own home. In our home.

“No, thank you. I can leave on my own. Don’t call me again.” The girl’s loud voice traveled to the kitchen, before the door opened and closed, followed by the teasing laugh of Jaehyun. He was just as bad, if not worse than Yuta.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then went up to my room. Passing the living room, the boys were all back to whatever they were doing before I came home. Yuta sat with them now, his eyes meeting mine when I passed by.

Dropping my gaze, I went up to my room and locked myself in there for the rest of the day. Nothing and everything was running through my mind all at once.

I couldn’t help but think of last night, about what Yuta said, the way he said it and the way he expressed it. He hurt too. He was still hurt and so was I. It just added to the misery that I carried every day since then. But there was nothing I could do, not now and most definitely not then.

My heart and soul were ripped out my body in a way I could never imagine. There were scars I carried on my body that served as a constant reminder of my losses. A broken heart that never healed still bleed the deepest shade of red, every day and night that I lived.

Masterlist 

#nct #nct 127 #nct yuta #nct doyoung #nct hendery #nct lucas #nct jaehyun #nct taeyong #nct winwin #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct stories #nct angst #nct fluff #nakamoto yuta #kim doyoung #wong kunhang #chittaphon leechaiyapornkul #wong yukhei #jung yoonoh #lee taeyong #dong sicheng #seo youngho #nct arranged marriage #nct ten #nct johnny #yuta smut #doyoung smut #lucas smut #jaehyun smut

[heroquills-a]

s1lentsnip3r replied to your post: hmmmmmmmmmm……….. i feel like doing a random mun...

bet

cracks knuckles.

@s1lentsnip3r @chaosmixed @metallumdash 

words can’t describe how impressed i am by how much you bring your muses to life bwaze. i used to like, not really give a darn heck about metal sonic at all? but after that first thread we had where sonic and proxy got into a fight, i was immediately hooked. you just do such an incredible job at fleshing out characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have really thought much of before and you just have this unique and interesting spin on them that feels fresh. i love the way you play the chao and whisper’s wisps and atia is just a little gremlin but i love them so much, and i’ve literally never seen anyone play chaos before. you just have this way of utilizing that potential that your characters and concepts have and it’s just really awesome to watch. i love it. absolutely a stellar roleplayer. absolutely stellar mun!!

@skyfcx @masterprotector @cosmcther

ties you to a chair. listen here little mister. youre probably one of the OG ppl in this rpc that i’ve lowkey looked up to since first joining. you’ve already heard it plenty of times already but your writing is just ?? stellar ?? from the way you use colorful idioms, expressions, metaphors, to how you capture movement and action in such an engaging way. it’s always a treat to read. the way you portray your muses is just always spot on and i love how seamlessly you capture their mannerisms and speech patterns. your headcanons for tails and knuckles just make me so giddy they just feel so right for their characters, and as far as rosalina goes--- while i know next to nothing about the mario franchise or this character in particular i’m still intrigued enough to peek in on what she’s up to every now and then. over all, you’re a rad roleplayer and a fun person to chat with ooc !! 

@chaosbcrne 

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. i adore how you write shadow. i’m constantly blown away by how authentic he always feels and how realistic you write him while still remaining accurate and true to his character. like i legit cannot even think of any other place or media i’ve seen besides the games themselves (before sega started botching up his character anyway) where he’s portrayed as accurately as you write him. you manage to balance the serious, aloof, hostile side of him with his playful, competitive, smug side AND the inner naive, almost child like side almost perfectly. and then there’s more, because you add so much depth to him and realistically expand on so many unexplored facets of his character and his roots !! you can just tell this is a character who’s endured so many hardships and is still trying to recover and move on, and despite everything that’s hardened him into the person he is today he still has that innocent curiosity about the world and it makes me so emo every. single. time. you just put so much work into him and it shows, from your icons to your headcanon posts, to even the most minute detail. even when you host events you just go So Hard at it you’re literally out here setting the standard dude. and don’t even get me started on your writing style. i was hooked by the very first thread we did, i felt like i could never hold a candle to it honestly. just. the way you narrate shadow’s feelings and thoughts, how you capture his actions, his movement, his speech patterns, is just so good. and your vocabulary is so colorful and rich. just. hgnfhg its top tier content ALRIGHT you inspire me to push myself and to keep improving all the time and i have to say i couldn’t ask for a better writing partner. i love you so much eph 💕💕💕

@1110-01111011

hello yes trikey i love your omega so much. i’ve never really thought much of the death bot before but seeing all the headcanons and fleshing out you do for him just makes him so much more interesting and fascinating. down to the most intrinsic detail you put in for him it’s just really cool to see and adds so much to him that just !! i love it man. every time i think abt omega now my mind just automatically goes back to your portrayal because he is Just omega. i appreciate all the depth you add to him and his relationships to the rest of his team, it’s so pleasing to see and really helps solidify how strong team dark’s dynamic truly is..... not to mention your art is hecking gorgeous??? like damn dude, goals. anyway,, thank u for the blessed omega content. absolutely 10/10

@coolxnxblue @oforbis @hcrofraid @mastcrplanncr @powderbluestreaks

toxi i immediately fell in love with your sonic the first time we ever interacted. you just capture his sass so well, i just could not stop giggling that first night. he’s still my favorite sonic in this rpc, to be honest. and don’t even get me started on your other muses. it still baffles me how you manage to take on such a huge raster of characters yet manage to flesh them out all so well. every one of them feels so evenly developed and solid and just like bwaze you make me care about characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have before. i feel like i have a huge newfound appreciation for eggman bc of you and unsurprisingly he’s now my fave eggman on here hands down. and it goes without saying your writing is just, phenomenal. you capture dialogue so beautifully, the way you narrate on the feelings your characters are experiencing is engaging, to the point i’m lowkey intimidated by it sometimes LMAO. also your AUs are just rad as hell? and rlly interesting?? and your art style too ????? 10/10 roleplayer, i just think youre neat.

@antibadnik @godcontained

hey you? yes you. i love your muses so much. i especially love how you write amy, to be honest. she’s been my favorite character since forever and like?? you do just such a good job with her? i appreciate that you choose not to erase her intense affection for sonic, because more often than not i see people tone it way down to almost non-existent and it really is just such a big part of her character. i like the way you delve into that mindset of her’s, and expand on it and how it affects her. i also just. love your writing too. you just have this way of conveying feeling in your writing that’s always a punch to the gut you can feel it that hard. your headcanons for elise are really interesting too and definitely nothing i’ve actually seen before, what with how her powers work and how having to go emotionally dormant has effected her after all this time.  also, i love ava. she is baby. it’s so cool getting to see a mute character!! all in all, its just good content man. god i love football.

@team-phantom @heartfelt-silver

pandaaaa i adore you !!! you were like my first friend in this heckin rpc. all of our dash shenanigans always have me wheezing and i just love your boys so much. i can certainly say without a shadow of a doubt that zero is one of my favorite takes on infinite. its hard to believe that he’s the same jackal who almost completely helped eggman take over the world--- he’s just come so far, he seamlessly fits into the rest of the cast. i adore how he works off of his team, and all their own unique little quirks that set them apart from each other. your headcanons and lore for your muse is just so sweet. and god i can’t get enough of your art?? your doodles always are a blessing to see ;-; i always appreciate you youre just such a sweet and kind mun, you’re so welcoming of ppl here and have this way of making ppl feel at home in this community. it absolutely wouldn’t be the same without you. keep it up <3

@lightdash @heartlop @enrichedheart

YOU. yes you. ame you’re so freakin’ cool and sweet. you’re always so nice and welcoming to people in the rpc it’s always a treat getting the chance to talk to you !! you’re another one of those peeps i look up to in this community TBH and youre muses are just portrayed and written so well!! i can just tell you’ve poured many years of thought, consideration, and work into your muses to the point that they’re just so finely tuned. i love the aesthetic you utilize for you blogs, from your icons to just the way you go about formatting your threads? and not to mention, your art style ??? is just so cute ??? ngl i lowkey wanna collab with you one of these days bc i just adore how you draw the sonic cast ;_; thank you for being a part of this rpc !! you’re wonderful !

@projectlightfox

moggg you’re so nice and chill to talk to. i love volt and harmony so much... they fit in really good with sonic world and mesh well with just about any characters i’ve seen them interact with so far--- even if its someone they don’t get along with. i’ve said it before but theyre just a really charming little duo and im always happy to see them on my dashboard. i love the overall aesthetic they got going, two travelers roaming the world from dimension to dimension. harmony is just a little bundle of precious fluffy joy and her interactions with sonic always make me cry. and volt--- he’s such a good dad !! he’s a really neat character and i’m certainly interested in learning more about the both of them. and as i said, you’re a rad person to talk to, i appreciate how welcoming and supportive you are of people. and your art style? absolutely adorable. thank you for being in this rpc ;-;

@dieviskais @solfading 

king!! i’ve never seen anyone write the way you do, choosing to shift the view point onto the reader as if they themselves are the muse. it’s such a unique and interesting way to look into your muse’s mindsets and express how they are feeling and what they’re doing. your take on silver is very fresh compared to the way he’s typically written. i appreciate you don’t take the baby silver uwu route like don’t get me wrong he IS baby but he’s not a baby. you certainly have really neat headcanons surrounding his backstory and how he grew up, it’s nice to see the grim reality of his harsh bleak life being represented. it’s good !! your other muses are intriguing too and i’m eager to learn more about them. i love auburn?? he’s a really cool oc dude his aesthetic and powers are A+. and you know, i may be terrible at expressing it but you’re a delight to talk to!! never feel bad or discouraged for popping into my dms i honestly appreciate the company ;-; thank u for being u

@orbviously / @cubeviously

THESE TWO BOTS. i love them so much. literally every time i see orbot or cubot now in any context i just think back to your portrayal of them hebby, they’re just so dang spot on and good. i love how you go about interacting with people with these two tbh it never fails to make me giggle. i love your art style too it’s just pleasing to look at! you have so many creative AUs for these bots i’m honestly impressed by how much you manage to create with these guys man--- from their human/bot designs to their mobianbot designs theyre just so cool ?? even your other muses are always entertaining to watch regardless of what fandom theyre from youre just so fun to interact with. and just, you’re always a pleasure to talk to ooc, youre always putting a smile on my face! youre awesome hebby 

@fishing-purple-cat

yes hi. sunny your take on big is so blessed. you’ve done so much justice for him. i’ve always really liked big tbh but i just love how much depth you put into his character, his backstory and his mannerisms. i love that you like,, actually give him a personality outside being a slow thinker. i can tell you’ve really developed your writing style with him, it speaks volumes about how much work you really put into writing him and it shows? heck, you even go the extra mile to draw your own icons and hang on i need a second to gush about your art because holy DAMN dude. your anatomy and painting abilities are nothing short of impressive--- especially your nack for painting backgrounds. i srsly gotta commission you at some point when i’m able to, heck. anyway, the rpc certainly wouldn’t be the same without you here

@lnfinitc

dude i love your take on infinite. he’s just about everything he should have been in forces, and even more. i love how malicious and intimidating you write him and your take on his speech patterns is just straight up eye-candy. i love your writing style, its so flavorful and rich--- your headcanons and lore on how infinite works is just astounding. and i like how you incorporate your drawings into your replies or threads too like even if its just icons your style is so heckin pretty ?? gosh dang. i’m definitely looking forward to interacting more in the future bc ur muse is just really fun and you seem like such a rad person !!

@pistolbitten

uhhh hello yes... while we haven’t interacted very much so far i JUST GOTTA SAY, i super enjoy your take on fang. from what i can tell he’s very well-rounded and fleshed out and a really interesting villain. i may or may not’ve been lowkey paying attention to that angel’s thesis thread you were doing w bwaze and aaron and i gotta say. holy damn. fang just done FUCKED UP. im certainly looking forward to him and shade interacting lmao. your writing style is so good too hh... just yeah i don’t have a whole lot to say if only because we haven’t interacted as much as i have with some of the other ppl on here BUT i certainly am looking forward to bc you seem cool. i’m loving what i’m seeing so far. have nack shoot sonic. DO IT.

@mobian-merc @funis-infinite 

duuuudeeee. i’ll be honest i was super intimidated by you at first asdkjsah i don’t even know why i was ??? but like. you’re so hecking nice and fun to talk to ;_; scourge is an actual literal dipshit yet you manage to make him very likable and you have such a fun take on him. i’ve always been a little conflicted on the character tbh because of how popular he is and he seems like the type i’d like but i knew nothing about him and was kinda put off by the over hype sometimes, but honestly? your portrayal won me over. i love him now. he’s so stupid and hE’S GREAT. your infinite also seems so cool too i gotta hecking respond to that starter you made me when i get the chance, im looking forward to infinite & sonic just. talking and sassing eachother probably. i really like your writing style too!!! and your icons are absolutely gorgeous ok. alright, that is all.

@flyinginfreedom

uhhhhhhh hello i love your rouge so much ???? she’s literally so cool... you capture her aesthetic and over all mysterious yet cunning vibe perfectly and it’s just always a pleasure to see her on my dash. i loved her interactions with sonic during eph’s roadtrip event so much. your headcanons just feel so her and spot on, and you still manage to add so much depth and personality to her i just love it so much. i love your blog’s aesthetic down to the icons, and even the way you format your threads. over all just a stellar rouge blog and a really cool & chill mun!!

@rosehammcr @antihedgehog

hi rosie uhm i love your amy so much ok. she’s such a sweet heart, i love how you incorporate her tarot cards ?? it’s literally so cool... and the accuracy on those readings is shocking. she’s just such a sweet heart god i’m getting emo thinking abt her tbh like amy is !! one of my fave characters and !! you write her so well !! and your eggman too, god he’s incredible. i love how sinister yet goofy he can be he’s just a perfect combination of intimidating and silly. your takes on orbot and cubot also bring a smile to my face and i love how you incorporate them into your interactions!! you also just seem like a rlly rad person and i’d love to interact more !! yeah !

@a-wind-of-freedom

yuniiiiiiIII !!  you’re such a sweet heart and your sonic is too. i’ve never seen someone play sonic the way you do before and it’s certainly interesting and unique !! you’ve got so many neat an thought out verses and AUs too, theyre all really intriguing !  our interactions with our sonics are always rlly blessed tbh starlight is just precious. i always appreciate getting to work with you as well for commission stuff, you’ve really been helping me out in that regard. plus you give me something artistic to work on and the chance to push my talents ! ;-; all in all you’re just a really sweet person and have a kind aura about you ! ;;

@champiionic

clears throat. hi yes you’ve been one of my fave sonics since day one. you’re just so creative with your muse its honestly impressive how many things you’ve able to come up with for sonic. from the portrayal you bring to the table down to your muse aesthetic its always just spot on you’ve got the blue speedster’s whole vibe down to a T. and your writing is just ? kisses my fingers. beautiful. your sonic is just so dang authentic, seeing him on my dash is always a pleasant sight. and i know this post is namely about sonic rpc muns & muses but i already love bubbles and blossom. i used to watch powerpuff girls when i was rlly little so its a real nostalgia trip to see them on my dashboard.

@hcpebloom @rcsebloom

bunny !! ur heckin sweet.. i love ur amy so much HSDFHDJ she’s just so soft. and unique too!! your headcanons for her are just so cute and make her stand out in her own way and i just appreciate that yo. and i admittedly don’t know a whole lot about cosmo since i havent really watched that far into sonic x but you’ve certainly got my attention with her. we just gotta interact more man ur muses are so precious !! ;_; 

@fortruechaos 

you !! your shadow is so good dude ! your portrayal of him is just so hecking accurate,, i highly appreciate how noble you write him to be. he’s serious, he’s prickly, but he’s got the world’s best interest at heart and it makes my heart do the fluttery thing. your writing is so good too gosh. no to mention youre just so hecking nice ??? youre just overall a rlly sweet mun & i appreciate your presence here in the rpc

@glittcrngcld @livelifc

hey fretcher ? ily. your muses are just so good from your canon characters to your ocs, i just love them sm?? and your ART? i swoon every time i see your doodles on my dash i’m still not over those doodles of lilly and azure ;-; not to mention your edits are scarily good like shit dude teach me your ways. your takes on your muses are awesome man i love ur sonic he’s such a MEME. and elise !!! she makes me so emo god. thank u for your blessed portrayals of these characters ! @elektrisch-felidae​

YOU. precious is just, precious?? HAH. i love her, she’s so cool tbh. she’s so chill and laid back and seems like the kinda cool cat sonic can totally vibe with. you yourself are also rlly chill and fun to interact with--- even if we haven’t much so far. its no secret i just love sonic ocs so much and precious is just awesome. i love the idea of electricity powers. absolutely need to have sonic hang with her more ;;

@coldheartbeauty 

SPEAKING of cool cats with cool powers, i love raven. her sass is just super entertaining to see on the dashboard tbh. i have to see her and sonic get into a sass off one of these days. her powers are also really cool too ? she reminds me of blaze in a sense, but just completely different in her own right. i also just hella love your art style its so cute, your doodles are always adorable to see!! 

INHALES. ok. im done. if i missed anyone i am so sorry i ran out of steam. thank you all so much for making this rpc such an entertaining, dynamic, and creative place to be !!! 

#🌀 — later guys! i’m outta here! ❪ ooc. ❫ #i'm not tagging y'all down here LMAO it'll take me forever to #but yes #y'all are fuckin talented i have a whole lot of love for this rpc #lays down #okay im done #i'll be over in my sap corner if you need me

[wereallsaloonaticshere]

Don’t think about the last lines too much.

Eddsworld; fanfic, Ship; EddTom AU; highschool

Description; Edd gets annoyed by people not thinking brown eyes are the shit. (which they are).

Word count: 1,538

“Oh, you’re eyes are like a drop of lovely water in an infinite ocean!” He said, leaning on the locker beside her, pushing a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear

“Oh, haha!” She giggled, fiddling with the bracelets that ran up her arm.

“Ugh.” Edd said, quietly to himself, “How cringy can you get?”

“What?” Tom asked

“Them!” He gestured over to the two love-birds, “Could they be anymore clique?” He shut his locker a bit harder than he usually did. 

“What, are you heterophobic, Edd?” Tom said, referencing something they overheard in the halls the day before, “You’re heterophobia isn’t very nice, Edd.” 

“Shut your fuck up!” Edd laughed, then got quiet as they both shuffled awkwardly past a teacher, hoping they didn’t hear them.

“You are. Oh my-I can’t believe it.” Edd laughed at the face Tom made when he said it, one of mock betrayal, and punched him in the arm. “You think you know somebody.”

“No, but really.” Edd said, pushing open the cafeteria doors, “He said she had ‘blue eyes like on ocean’? Who actually says that anymore?”

“A couple liking each other’s eyes. They should be hunted for sport.” Tom said, which treated him to another punch in the arm.

“It’s just so overused! Aren’t you, like, an aspiring song writer or something? Shouldn’t this tick you off more than me?” Edd said, then waved hello to Matt as he slung his backpack onto the table and flopped down into the chair. 

“No because why the fuck would I give a shit?” Tom asked, taking out his pen and notebook.

“What are you guys talking about?” Matt asked, mouth full of burger

“Edd’s turning emo.” Tom said

“Welcome.” Matt said

“No I’m not, fuckwad!” 

“You hate love though.”

“I HATE that blue eyes are the only colored eyes that get compared to stuff! You don’t know what it’s...” Edd trailed off, then turned toward Matt, “you don’t know what it’s like having brown eyes!” 

“But your eyes are just as beautiful as anyone else’s, and I could compare them to anything if I applied myself.” Matt said, rolling his eyes.

“Easy for you to say; your eyes are like a fucking renaissance painting.” Edd huffed. “There are swirls of blue and green and-fuck! Even fucking yellow!” He squinted his eyes, “You couldn’t even begin to fathom what it’s like having one flat layer of brown.” 

“...” Matt sat staring in awe. “Edd...you realize that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, ever, right?” 

“Lowkey gay.” Tom muttered, and crossed his arms, slouching over the table and stuffing a half-eaten snickers bar from earlier into his mouth.

“...” Edd’s cheeks turned pinkish. “No, I didn’t...I just wish I could have cooler eyes, is all. Don’t over think it.”

“You already have cool eyes, dumbshit.” Matt said

“Fuckin’ lair.” Edd laughed, “But thanks I guess.”

“Hey, Tom,” Matt said when he noticed Tom wasn’t writing in his notebook like he usually did, “what’s up? Want my kit-kat?”

“What are you saying? Of course he does.” Edd teases, seeing as Tom’s been gaining just a tad bit of weight

“You know what? Fuck all of you.” Tom stood up, grabbed his stuff, and left the table.

“...What’s got him so pissed?” Matt asked

“What are you talking about?” Edd joked and scratched at his hairline, “That’s classic Tom.” 

“I guess...hey are you going to eat lunch today or what?” 

“Oh yeah.” Edd glanced at the lunch line, which now wrapped around the entire cafeteria. “I think I’ll wait a little longer.” 

“...I still think Tom might be upset about something. Can you talk to him in calc for me?” 

“Sure.” Edd said, doodling a penis in the corner of the table, chuckling, then erased it, “Hey, speaking of calc, can you do my homework for me?” 

“Nah, dude, I hate math and I just got done finishing the test last period. My brain is fried.” 

“Ugh. Well, guess I’ll fail.” Edd shrugs with the confidence of somebody who knows how to cheat.

“Truly an inspiring story of determination.” 

~

“Hey, Tom-” Edd asked, once they were able to pair up for review before the test, “Wanna be my partner?”

“Um...” Tom scratched his neck and looked around the room. “Sure. You’re the only person here I don’t hate.” 

“Cool.” They both sat down at a table.

“So should we review the first part first, or should we-”

“Why’d you freak out at lunch?” 

Tom sighed.

“It just started to bother me, is all.” He said

“What did?”

“You straight up were flirting with Matthew!” Tom said, a bit too loudly. He looks around the room to see if anyone heard. “I mean, how can someone’s eyes even look like a renaissance painting? How’s that possible?”

“I just said it! I didn’t comprehend it!” Edd defended

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know!” Edd said, “What does it even matter?”

“...” Tom frowned, “Just...shut up about it.” 

“Shut up about what, Tom?” Edd crossed his arms, “Tell me before the teacher crawls up our ass about not studying.” 

“...I’ll talk to you later about it, okay.” 

“I already waited until the end of lunch-” 

“Teacher, can I switch partners?” Tom asked, avoiding Edd’s suddenly confused stare.

“Um.” The teacher looked between the two. “Sure, I guess.”

“Thanks.” Tom said, and walked to another group.

“You can study with Jon.” Teacher said to Edd, and the two studied together, with Edd occasionally looking over his shoulder to see if Tom was looking his way, though he never was.

~

Tom rushed through the double doors, trying to get lost in the sea of people, but Edd could spot his spiky hair a mile away. 

“Tom!” Edd shouted, and he grabbed his arm, spinning him around to face him. “What’s gotten into you, man? First you-” Sensing no out, Tom speaks up.

“Can we talk somewhere a bit more private?” He asked, as a few people gave them weird looks as they passed by.

“Um, sure.” Edd said, still holding his arm, and they walked towards a dead tree that was cut down years before. They sit under it, and Edd finally let go. 

Tom rubs his face and shakes his head a little, “Just...I didn’t like how you talked to Matt, that’s all.” 

“Why?” Edd asked

“It just made me feel weird, I dunno.” When Edd gave Tom a weird stare, he added, “Matt isn’t that pretty.”

“...So, what, you want me to compliment your....you?” Edd said, dancing around the what he was originally going to say.

“No!” Tom blushed, then coughed, “No. Just...it’s weird.” 

“...Right.” Edd put his hand over Tom’s, “You can tell me what’s really up.”

“...I just wish you’d say something nice about me, that’s all.” Tom mumbles.

“What?” 

“Say something nice about me sometimes, I say nice shit about you.”

“Really? When?”

“All the time!”

“To who?”

“Well, maybe I just think it, is that so bad?”

“...Wait,” Edd thought, “So you think nice things about me a lot?”

“No! Yes. I...” Tom rubbed his face again, causing some of his hair gel to flake out onto his hands and the knees of his ripped black pants. “I don’t know, man. It just happens.” 

“...Dude, do you have a crush on me?” Edd asked, then quickly added, “It’s fine if you do! Cute girls, cute guys, it’s both whatever.”

“I...you’re just really...nice and understanding and...” Tom squints at a root growing in front of him, “wait, you think I’m cute?”

“...” Edd self-reflects. He didn’t see Tom as unattractive, no. Thick eyebrows, black studs lining his ears, like a sort of goth-punk hybrid. He was sweet to his friends, funny in a lol so random xd sorta way, and would probably fight anyone if Edd told him they had dissed him. He also had this glow about him if he was talking about his favorite bands, or a piece of music he just learned, and his smile would seem so all-encompassing that it would seize your gaze by the throat. 

Kind of like what it was doing now. 

“Do you think I’m cute?” Tom asked, and began to shake Edd’s shoulders as a joke, rocking his body back of fourth.

“Tom, dude, shut up-”

“Oh my God you do!” Tom slowed down then. “That’s...crazy man.” He rubbed his neck, “Thanks for calling me cute.”

“Thanks for being jealous of me, I guess.” 

“Haha...you’re cute too. But not as cute as Billie Joe Armstrong.” Tom added to compensate for the blush running up his neck.

“Well, of course,” Edd rolled his eyes, “I don’t think that’s even possible.”

Tom laughed, then told Edd about the fanfiction he was writing about Shrek, and even though Edd purposefully zoned out because no matter how punk rock Tom was, he didn’t want to hear about his Shrek x Sonic the hedgehog fanfic, he felt the smile radiating off him. Edd smiled too.

#i dont think this is one of my best #but its still good #also my first hs au rad #shipsworld #eddtom #hs au #fanfic #stuff i made #fanfiction #that ending was so lame lol i apologize #you all shouldnt have had to read that lol

[xrprainmaker]

The Significance of Being Insignificant

What is the value of one life? Do you know? Is it measured in how many people's lives we affect while we're alive, is it quantified by how much money we leave to our loved ones when we eventually all at one point or another die? Is it merely the number of loved ones we know or who knows us? Is it measured by how many likes and retweets and shares we get accumulatively on all social media platforms and when we get to the pearly gates of heaven or in some cases the rusted gates of hell going to be just yet another algorithm of the universe held over our head as either a badge of honor or Scarlett letter of failure in which even in the afterlife we will still be either praised or shunned for all the things we've either done wrong or right.. and God or the Devil Themselves will take turns choosing teams in purgatory & just like in middle school we'll either be chosen first with the "cool kids" or be picked last like the outcasts some of us already feel & we'll spend another eternity pondering the effects and affects of our decisions and thoughts and actions until we literally just become dust underneath their nails? These are the questions I ask myself in a world where killing has now become an open sport and done by people that swore an oath to protect our lives and the lives of the ones we love & the ones we don't. But for George Floyd he's life was no more meaningful for those cops that day, than the ants they probably crushed under their boots on the way to go put their knees in his throat and his head. The watched and continued draining the life from his body like a smartphone addict who just watches his or her phone drain to zero battery but is too lazy to get up and plug it into the wall. Did that police officer think he was playing a level in Grand Theft Auto? Did the surrounding policers officers who also complacently just "followed" orders and also held down & pinned him by the legs and arms and allowed this act to be committed without thought or hesitation did they also think they were "doing a good job " or were they just not thinking at all. You see you might be confused right now why I'm talking so much about the "Evil Cops" and why I'm not raving about "defund the police " or talking in a way that I have lost compassion for the cops, instead of just shooting from the hips and calling them Murderers ( which don't worry, I do believe all of them are and should go to jail, as I believe all of them are 100% guilty) . Because let's be clear - to watch and do nothing for 8 minutes straight while somebody begs and pleas " I can't breath", " I can't breath" " I can't breath" and is not putting up a fight or intoxicated or belligerent or on drugs but is just one human being begging for another human being to take notice & show compassion & acknowledge that that person is seen and heard and valued and to watch that for eight whole minutes is almost an eternity of time for those cops to have done the right thing or as Spike Lee would've said in Public Enemy " Dooo Thaaa Right Thang" and they failed, they failed with flying colors. I don't know what they got on their test scores to get into the Police Academy but to get out of it, they went out with a Bang of F's that's for sure. But I digress, the real reason I'm so interested in why NOBODY did ANYTHING even though they were in the middle of the street, broad daylight and with hundreds if not thousands of people walking by and NOT ONE, NOT A SINGLE ONE except One girl who filmed the whole thing and put it up on Youtube - tried to save this man's life or question the cops that were so nonchalantly breaking the law in plain sight, right in front of everyone's nose and the reason why it happened It's because the value of someone's life in Real life - not the after school special you watched growing up or on the multiple motivational videos you can binge-watch on Youtube or "feel good" movies on Netflix where you watch a movie with 1 black actor in it in a cast of 500 white people and pat yourself on the back because you're not a racist. Or because you don't actually call black people the N-word to their face but lowkey wonder what it would feel like if you did. Like would it be laughs and high fives like on the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" or would you get knocked the FUD out like if you were in the ring with Mike Tyson and he's biting off your ear. You see racism never went away or stopped, it just got brushed underneath the rug or the fabric of humanity we like to refer to as the "Human Existence". People like to use the word " I didn't Know" a lot in society - ever notice that - it's like the fewer fuds you give about life or the people around you the more accepted you are. Our world or simulation, whichever way you want to spin it, is built on the combined premise that showing emotion or compassion or crying is something that only "Weak" people do or a sign of weakness. But I call BS, I think that if that's the type of world you want to live in - then DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, be walking in marches, with your fists up in the air, pretending that you have any type of allegiance with those who have lost their lives from racism or police brutality or any type of abuse for that matter where one party was "Stronger" and abused of the situation on somebody they deemed to be weak either because of gender or skin color or because they grew up on the wrong side of the tracks - Do not think that your 1 white fist in the air publically can magically erase the millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of other unknown fists that took that same symbol but in private and in the horizontal position & punched through the walls of the heads or the walls of the ribs of so many other innocent and unsuspecting lives of both young and old, white & black. That so many don't even know about and that, we'll most likely never know about because they did not have the money in their wallets or the special contacts in their phone or special certifications on their walls saying that they were somebody to be respected and thus the fight for their lives and struggle to share the truth will be buried among so many others that " lead quiet lives of desperation" as Thoreau's once said. You see what I'm getting at here is until we stop shaking our hands in frustration and anger and hatred and hostility at this police officer who did this, we will never truly understand what drives a man or men to this point of no return. Where their souls have left their bodies long before they'll ever be declared dead and how they were allowed to not just roam the streets but to rule the streets with a clad iron fist and destroy anything and everything they touched because they themselves, can no longer feel. You see this to me is the even scarier part. I'm not happy that George Floyd is dead or that he had to die this way, but in reality, if those cops hadn't killed him, how they did George Floyd would just be another African American Man that led a quiet life of mediocrity instead and now his face and his name is known all over the world and his legacy that he will leave to his family in some un-ironic, ironic way because of all of this will be of nobility and peace even though he was caught trying to buy things with fake money and that's what led the cops there, to begin with. To me, this just goes to highlight every relevant rule of life of Yin and Yang and that even in the best people there is bad and even in the badest people there is good. To me is this right or is this wrong to say, that's not up to me to decide, but it's the truth and the truth is hard to digest for many because it's not like a placebo, laced in sugar and will slowly rot your teeth and your brain. It's like a shot of Tequila either your system can handle it or it can't but either way, you'll only find out once you try. Try to see things from different angles, try to listen to a different perspective and try to understand, that no one is born 100% evil, I believe that evilness is learned and that even though the absolute last human beings on the face of the earth that you or many others would deem worthy or deserving of compassion right now or a voice or somebody to listen to them, I would say, it's that cop/cops that killed him. Why? Because as heinous as it is what they did, is that I also envision those same cops as young kids, running and playing and laughing and waiting for the weekend to play "Cops and Robbers" and how do you go from that level of innocence to this? Was it a gradual chipping away at their souls like water drop Chinese societal torture device, or did something cataclysmic in their youth or adult years happen like their father or uncle showed them how to hunt a deer when they were just 8 or or or... You see to me " an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" or in this case and many, many, many other unsolved cases- it's worth a literal pound of flesh and until we as humans and society start truly asking these hard questions, of ourselves and all other people who make up this world, we're just fooling ourselves into believing change is happening or that #BlackLivesMatter - because black lives won't matter until #ALLLivesMatter - including the lives of these horrible - soulless police. Rest In Power Mr. George Floyd

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/G_GyEL-R_Q8" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> N.B - I've never met you but I can tell you your life even after you're gone has and will continue sending Ripples throughout the world. Martin Luther King Stood Up To Fight Bigotry - Rosa Parks sat down to fight against segregation and I'm sorry you had to roll over and die to fight against racism 15 - 20 years later - You deserved better and so does this world & hopefully one day in the future it will be considered "cool" to have & heart and show compassion - but the now jaded adult inside of me says " don't hold your breath"

#george floyd #george flyod dead #george flyod protests #defundthepolice #rest in power #rest in peace #xrprainmaker