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#i think i can pass and then thats it. my next semester is hell but just because scheduling the actual classes will be easy

mikarchive2 · 1 year

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i hope you make it with that math final, you have two more tries!! i literally do NOT get it why is the semester so chill and then finals just kill you 😭 sad thing is i passed all my other finals with ease its just this one im having trouble with and its the ONLY subject that i cant retake next year bc if i dont make it this semester i cant take two more subjects in the next and then i dont have enough credit to continue and have to drop out💔 i hope we both find our path in the end, because despite maybe failing, i am set on applying to another uni and try again with something else (teaching maybe bc apart from doctors those are the only ppl who get paid well in this hell country💕 /j) everything will be okay in the end for both of us and instead of feeling down, lets treat this as just another thing that happened and not the end of the world haha. sending love🤍

thats how it works here with my classes too its so strange ! 'if you fail this class we wont kick you out but also theres literally no point in studying during the second semester because you cant continue after your first year' ... like . ok ? im sort of grateful for it though cause it means you can reap the benefits of being a student while not going to school at all for like three months 👍 ... im also looking into other majors, considering library science, but i might just drop out and take a gap year instead honestly 💀 whatever happens im sure it will be fine we are young and learning how to live etc. ... + i think teaching is always a very safe choice as long as you find fulfillment in it, good luck ❣️🫂

#+ good luck with yr final too it would be #such a shame to HAVE to quite cause of #one class 😔#anonymous #answered

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kalims · 2 years

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I just like really need to get this off my chest, so please. I don't care if you're just gonna read this but I'm so sick so I just wanna let it all out

ever since online started, my first thought was: yay! no more school. cause I thought it'd be easier for me. news flash, I was completely fucking wrong. for the last, what? two years my mental health has been crashing down, sometimes there's times where I think: oh. this is actually okay, I think I'm gonna be fine but then the next moment I'm bawling my eyes out about something I never wanted to live my life doing.

school sucks. it took me years, semester after semester to get used to it. my first year was horrible, I was behind everything. I ignored everything, I procrastinated my works and I thought when it was finally time to pass them: I'll never get past this. but im here, somehow I'm here and yet again I'm facing another wall. i feel hopeless again. and this year. it's the most hopeful I've been, I've been better. so much better than this is the first time I've ever been truly proud of myself. but now I don't know anymore.

my grades came and I'm ashamed to say they aren't high, funny how I'm insecure even about a few numbers thats supposed to decide my life course.

it's unhealthy but when I face things like this, the only thought I had was how much I wanted to die. im humiliated of myself because I'm so fucking pathetic, I can change my life right now but I can't and i don't even know why. it's funny cause i keep telling my freind that I'll kms but I'm still alive, cause im too young. and i don't know how to disappear. I'm trying to stay alive because for once, I want to be good in something that no one will ever surpass me in.

my mom's facing me right now, she's laughing. I can see that she's holding in her laughs at the face of my tears. she's comforting me but I can't take her words to heart. it goes out of one ear and out of the other.

and as much as I love everyone I've met with all my heart, my freinds, I love them so much and I appreciate them. but sometimes I feel so lonely because no one has ever said nice things to me, to validate my feelings, but I was okay because I was always used to being left with my thoughts and just passing one of it with a few jokes. I hate that no one was ever willing to ask me: "are you okay? do you wanna talk about it?" without me asking for it first. maybe some people did ask me about it, I cant remember. thank you for them.

even if I did receive one of them. I probably chose to brush it off. god I make no sense right now.

to the strangers, people, online and irl freinds I have. I'm so sick, my best freind. I always played as someone she could trust, I hate that I'm talking to her behind her back rn but I couldn't fucking careless right now because I can't tell if I'm just on my period. whenever I rant to her about topics I'm interested in (an anime, genshin, just topics I love) she always just sends one worded replies like "what" or "okay" one time she even told me that she couldn't give a shit about things she didn't know about. a few days ago, idk when. she asked to rant about her book, which of. I didn't even know about. I told her "sure. do you even have to ask?" and then I let her send me lengthy messages, I even made comments about it.

I'm so sick telling other people the exact same words that I want to hear.

okay let's put it simply. I'm the therapist friend, I always wanted to take psychology. I'm the girl that asks google on how to comfort someone so I can provide better comfort. I'm selfish for wanting to be comforted myself but who the hell am I anyways? I don't have a lot of irl freinds, sometimes in online I feel isolated cause I don't really ever fit in. I'm not pretty, I know I can be smart if I actually put in the effort and if I wasn't so lazy, I'm not rich, in fact my family isn't very wealthy. I look at other people and the only thing I can do is stare in envy because I can never get it.

I don't know how to make myself look good, I don't know shit about makeup, I don't even know anything about basic information I'm supposed to do. I know I won't able be ever let outside my house to hang out with friends because my parents are strict.

I hate that all my friends are better than me in one way or another. I always thought to myself: I want to live another life. because i was truly, upset, and unhappy in this one. no matter how many times I feel happy there's always gonna be something that's gonna drag me down again.

when I finally choose to open up to my parents, the thing they always do is laugh at me. they treat my words like it's a joke, maybe it's just a common reaction but I'm sensitive. that sounds oddly like a pick me but I want to be honest with my feelings without using jokes to dismiss it.

I love them, but I hate them because they always choose to try and force my feelings out of me. they threaten to take away my phone when I dont talk to them and it's exhausting to talk about something that I don't wanna talk about to someone like them.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being a big sister, I'm tired of being a daughter, I'm tired of being a freind, and I'm so fucking tired of living. it sucks.

I'm so tired of being yelled at because I didn't have the energy to finish a school work that I didn't want to do in the first place. I'm tired of being called that it's my fault for having a bad grade. I'm so fucking tired of putting up with everything. I'm so tired that I'm always the one being blamed when my brother does something wrong. I'm so tired of never really having anything for myself because if I ask for something it will only burden my family, so I'd be content with everything I have even if it isn't a lot as long as I'd be able to do the stuff I love.

"it will pass", I believe that saying but I just want it to end right now. I don't want it to pass. it sucks that I can't do anything right now. all I can do is drag myself to my desk and let a bunch of things confuse me. everything I do, it always ended in disaster. as much as i hate to say it, it really is all my fault.

my parents stay silent but I can't tell if their silence is worse then when they're scolding or screaming to me about something. I hate them so much because of the non-existent psychological pressure and torture they put me through. I lie to them, just so I can save myself from that again.

for now. I'll just force myself to not play anything until I finish every single fucking thing. I don't care if I end up staying up for days but who cares anyways? I just hoped my parents would've let me down slowly instead of blaming it all on me on one go. I sound so edgy rn. honestly there's a lot more but i don't have the energy anymore. this prolly means I won't post for a while. thanks. bye.

#—rosa talks

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warmau · 4 years

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the door opens as soon as the hand on the clock that hangs right above the line of freezers at the back of the store strikes eight

through it walks yangyang

grey hoodie pulled over his messy hair, stuck to the skin of his forehead with slowly evaporating sweat

he’s dribbling a basketball as he walks down the aisles and you pretend to rearrange the candy display in front of the register

but you’re watching

the sound of the basketball thumps through the otherwise empty corner store

outside, the sun is waving its last goodbye before the moon takes it spot in the sky

and then yangyang rounds his way back to you - placing some loose change down and waving the already unwrapped melon pop he’s picked out

you count the coins, and he’s ten cents short, but you don’t say anything about that

he turns, basketball now tucked under his arm

and leaves without a thank you or a goodbye

you know him - and you’re sure he knows you too - but it has been the same silent routine since summer started two weeks ago

the reason - and it could just be your suspicion - but no other fact has reared its head as creditable

has to do with dong sicheng

yangyang’s upperclassman, friend, and your ex-boyfriend

you lean forward a little and huff, not even really my ex-boyfriend. we fooled around all of last semester and then-

you feel something weird curl up inside your stomach

sicheng had called it off

you remember what he had said to you;

“maybe if you weren’t always looking at -”

the door opens again and your eyes barely shift to see who it is now

only to see yangyang again, melon pop abandoned, grey hoodie abandoned, basketball abandoned

he buffers a bit before walking right up to the register

you straighten up and feel like the little store has only gotten tighter

he slaps the ten cents he was short down on the counter and you blink

“i owe you this.”

“oh thanks.”

“sicheng isn’t here for the summer. he went abroad.”

you blink, and your instinct is to say - why would i care? - but you just nod slowly

yangyang steps back a little. he’s still got remnants of sweat on him from the summer heat, his hands tucked deep in his pockets

“did you like him?”

“no”

you answer a little too fast for comfort, but there just isn’t enough time to stop yourself from spilling the truth. something you’ve wanted to say for a while.

yangyang is looking at the floor, or maybe the candy, who knows - but he looks up after that.

“he said you were always -”

“looking at you. i know.”

yangyang seems to catch his breath, or maybe he just looks like he’s being suffocated, but either way he points to the sign on the door

“you close in an hour right?”

“yes”

“ill be here. we can - ill be waiting for you.”

even with the streetlights flickering, the night hovering into complete darkness, the heat makes everything feel vibrant and hot

or maybe you just feel all this pressure, finally being alone with yangyang

you’ve changed, you’ve attempted to comb your hair, you’re holding the half finished bottle of gatorade that is acting like some kind of pseudo-anchor as you wait to hear what it is yangyang will say

does he know? did he notice? or did sicheng just tell him for the hell of it that ive always actually liked him?

“i was looking too, that’s why i was so confused.”

he kicks the curb a little and avoids your gaze

“why you chose him - why you were sneaking around and doing all of that with him when i was-”

he throws his hands up in frustration

“when i was there too!”

“i just didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“you think i didnt like you back?”

you cross your hands and nod

“yeah, you never did anything to make me think you -”

“neither did you, you actually did the opposite, hooking up with one of my closest friends-”

“hey!”

you don’t want to raise your voice, but it makes yangyang look at you. really look at you.

“is it a crime to want to be desired? i couldnt get the feeling from you and sicheng just kissed me one day and it felt-”

yangyang steps closer, both hands reaching for your shoulders as if he’s about to pull you in close to him

but just as his fingers graze your skin, you can feel the tension stiffen him into stone

you flatline your voice and stare, “yangyang if you’re going to kiss me then just do it”

he opens his mouth in protest, at least that’s what he intentions, when in the next second

it’s you, dropping the gatorade in your hand, and just tugging him in for it first

he doesn’t kiss with the overwhelming confidence he can saunter around with when he’s with his friends, but he is enthusiastic

it kind of shocks you when after just a soft peck on the lips turns into yangyang wrapping you in almost squeezing hug

he kisses as if he’s trying to make up for something

you chalk it up to the time you’ve both waisted tip-toeing around each others feelings

and when you pull away from him, you realize he’s nearly dragged you off the curb and into the sidewalk with him and you’re like

“let’s get out of the street before we get hit by a car.”

he grins, the brightest light even in the darkness

“wait- just one thing though.”

his hands don’t let go from being wrapped around your waist, his bare skin sticking to the fabric of your shirt. how many degrees is it out? at least eighty something.

“what?”

“do i kiss better than sicheng-”

you yank him back onto the sidewalk and roll your eyes in response, yangyang just leans down to laugh into your neck

you’ve still got to work at the shop all summer, but now yangyang doesn’t just stop by at just eight

he’s there as much as possible

sitting on boxes of soda and chips - hand on your leg as you two watch the array of interesting neighbors and customers that pass their way through

there’s a nice old couple that beams at you and yangyang, talking about how much you two remind them of themselves

there’s a social recluse that scurries up and down the aisles even though he always buys the same two things every time he’s in here. yangyang theorizes he’s a spy or something and you’re like im pretty sure he works for an IT company

there are giggling groups of middle schoolers enjoying the summer, there are teenagers who spend more time kissing in the corners rather than buying anything, there are adults rushing to and from work

sometimes yangyang’s friends stop by, the ones he plays basketball with, and they wolf whistle and wink and push him when they think you’re not looking

but now kun - who apologizes to you every time for their CHILDISH behavior

the summer that you thought would be dragging slowly because of this dumb job, has become something like a rainbow.

colorful, eventful, and beautiful

especially when you’re sitting up on the register counter and yangyang is leaning up to kiss you

lips cold from the ice-cream you both just shared

he’s gotten better at kissing, and at hand-holding, and staring at you like you’re the entire earth and more

he leaves for a couple of hours to go play basketball - and one evening you close the shop early to go watch him

he looks so different from the yangyang that makes bad jokes, the yangyang who chases the local stray cat around your store, the yangyang who is still a little too shy about coming over to your house when you’re both alone, the yangyang who fell out of a tree trying to get a stuck balloon untangled for a crying toddler

he looks serious and focused - he looks more mature

when the set ends he jogs over, lifting his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face and you realize you’re also still a little shy, averting your eyes to the side

he doesn’t notice, if he did - you would not hear the end of it - as he leans forward to kiss your nose

you pull back and tell him ew- he’s so sweaty and smelly - but he just pouts and says thats never bothered you before!

“yeah, it’s never bothered you before so you guys should just make out-”

hendery’s voice echoes from somewhere before you presume kun puts a stop to that

yangyang raises an eyebrow

and you give in - leaning in to press your lips to him

“salty?” he asks when he pulls away, “very!”, you laugh and yangyang joins in

“oh sicheng you’re back?”

the sentence drowns you and yangyang’s momentary bliss

you don’t want to turn around and see if it’s really him - but yangyang leans away from you so you stand up too

“how was your trip?” it’s kun’s voice - followed by yukhei who exclaims that he’s missed him so much!

sicheng answers them, looking over his shoulder at you and yangyang

the sounds of the park all wash out - you don’t feel anything romantic toward sicheng, but this is still awkward and you’re more than anything worried about-

“yangyang - can i be on your team?”

sicheng is referring to the next game and you want to say something to yangyang about how it’s really all over, like it didn’t ever even mean anything

but then sicheng looks at you

“can i steal your boyfriend away for a bit?”

the playful banter sizzles the tension down and you feel yourself relax, and yangyang does too

“sure bro, but you better have gotten good during your trip - your freethrows always suck!”

sicheng laughs and you do too, kissing yangyang’s cheek before he goes back to join his friends

when it gets too dark to play anymore and everyone’s exhausted - yangyang and you part from the group

hendery tries to yell something about kids being safe, kun drags him away by the ear, xiaojun, yukhei and ten echo the sentiment anyway and sicheng says;

“im happy for you guys.”

you feel yangyang squeeze your hand in his - when it’s just you and him left

you shiver a little because summer is ending and falls kiss is sweeping in

yangyang shrugs off the grey hoodie he’s always wearing and you slip it on before taking his hand in yours again

“was it weird seeing sicheng again?”

“not really - i mean it’s just sicheng.”

you stop walking and yangyang does too

“he’s your friend and he’s just my friend. seriously. yangyang i want you to know that.”

he smiles softly, not the big toothy grin you’re used to, and tugs you a little into him

“i know that.”

he kisses your hair and then laughs

“if it was me, you would have jumped right into my arm-”

“yangyang!”

you give him a look and he swears he’s joking, he promises

but he’s also right

years later - as you’re standing in the airport looking up at the switchboard of flights

you light up when you see that the plane from taiwan is landing

you rush to the gate and wave as soon as you sicheng

he waves back, and so does kun and ten and everyone

and holding up the end is yangyang who abandons his luggage, to come barreling toward you

you can’t hold it too, it’s been all summer that he and the rest of them have been gone

and it’s been so boring without him, and so lonely, so when he opens his arms

you do jump right into them - getting attacked in a whirlwind of kisses

the rest of the group catches up to you two and from somewhere you can hear kun mutter

“they’re acting like kids”

but sicheng defends you two

“let them, they’ve been looking at each other since then.”

when yangyang finally decides to let you go, he adds:

“yep, and we haven’t stopped since.”

#i started this listening to still woozy and then ended it by listening to jbalvin thats how my night was going #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #yangyang scenarios #nct au #wayv au #yangyang au #member: yangyang #sfw #yangyang #wayv #nct

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thequeenb · 4 years

Text

Enemies With Benefits

Poppy x MC

This fic is inspired by @nerdy-twin post.

Warning: Smut

My, my did i heard right? My sources have been telling me all day about the hilarious fights between Queen Bee and our new starlet

Newbee proved to us since day one that she isn't one to be messed with but don't let her charms blind you. Yesterday Chlo-- i mean Poppy's dog got humiliated Infront of our eyes loves so grab your snacks because this is going to be a long semester isn't that right Bea?

Kisses, The T

Oh that's great. Another post from The T and everyone is looking at me again. Why do people care about this stupid blog anyways? Its so irrelevant and so--

"Oh my god Bea!!" Zoe runs up to me basically jumping from excitement

"Wow slow down what happened?" Seriously she can't even catch her breath

"Girl you are top 15 material now!!" she shoves her phone on my face and i gasp. Alright now i love this blog. Everyone around me whisper and after a moment i can hear cheers from every direction of the pathway

"Woooo B-E-A, B-E-A" they all chant my name and i bow laughing at my sweet victory, i cant wait to wipe Poppy's smirk off her face

Everything stops as i hear clapping behind my back, Aaaaand there she is. "Congratulations you managed to get pass the emo wannabes and the bimbos"

"Big words coming from a bitch like you" it feels like i am in a movie because everyone gasps not knowing how to react to that. Poppy stare at me long enough to kind of worry

"Listen here you ugly pathetic idiot--"

"That's not what you told me last night" i say kinda proud of myself and that's when basically everyone looks shocked. Zoe covers her giggles because she knows alllll about it and Miss Regina George over here have gone completely pink

"I would never not even in a million years touch someone as cheap as you, Chloe go fetch me a latte, ta ta garbage" and she walks away just like that

"Wow you really have an effect on her" Zoe comes behind me laughing and i roll my eyes brushing off another stupid fight

"Do you want to watch a movie and eat our feelings?"

"Girl you know me so well"

___

"Okay but do you want to watch Mean Girls, or the finale of Gossip girl?" I ask shuffling through Netflix

"Bea this school is the definition of Gossip girl and dont get me started on Mean girls, Poppy is--" And that's when we hear a knock on the door

"It must be Penelope i invited her" Zoe yells from the kitchen pouring us both a glass of wine

I walk to the door opening it wide and thats when i see my dear enemy

"What can i do for you?" I say smirking

"For starters buy better clothes, this shirt is hideous" she gestures at my Deadpool shirt, excuse me? How dare she?

"If i wanted to deal with your attitude i would have..oh wait yes you stalk me so you are always on my way"

"Agh can you just stop talking"

I roll my eyes so hard my brain hurts. What the school doesn't know is that we have our secret fights in the bedroom. Of course i was shocked as well but here i am kinda liking Poppy, gosh i probably hit rock bottom

"Goodnight boo" i smile slamming the door shut continuing my night drinking wine and gossiping with Zoe.

___

"I will see you after class, those new burritos are to die for" Zoe says as she kisses my cheek goodbye, i love this woman

I walk freely around the empty campus. One thing that i love about Mondays is that on third period i can just have five minutes to myself and collect my thoughts, that until i find my self pinned against a wall

"Never do that again" Poppy says pointing her finger to my chest

I gasp at the surprise and she looks amused, her and her little games "Do what exactly? Exist?"

She rolls her eyes but i can see how hard she is trying to hide her smile "No one slams the door at me Newbee" and she poke her finger once

"Oh please you are always being an asshole"

"Listen here, just because i let you kiss me once doesn't mean anything, you are still garbage to me and you will always be" and another poke

She tries to do it again but i grab her finger looking at her deep into her eyes

"No you listen Poppy, i am tired of your manipulative games, you are the most awful person i have ever met!" I am glad the campus is empty, if people were here they would probably record or take pictures for The T

"Oh please Hughes you play tough but you really aren't, maybe you were important back in pig town, but here? You are just another pawn" her glare is dangerous, her eyes on fire, our tension so thick you can feel it through your bones

So i did what every logical person would do, i lean in and i capture her lips before she can say anything else that will ruin the mood. At first she tries to deny and make a surprised sound but soon her tongue is dancing against mine.

I pin her against the wall taking a quick glance around to make sure we are alone. I should be in Miss Kingsley class right now but oh god am i distracted

She places her hands around my neck pulling me closer to her, didn't i tell you? She really likes me deep inside this cold heart of hers

"Am i tough now?" i ask, our lips so close, our breaths ghosting on eachother's faces. She swallows hard "Not enough"

And as these words escape her mouth i pin her hands above her head with my one hand effortlessly as my other travel from her waist down her thighs. Poppy always wears a mini skirt enough to ignite my fire

I dig my nails slightly into her flesh and ask once again "I said, am i tough now?"

Poppy moans against my mouth and i start kissing her neck, something that drives her crazy. She wont admit it, she never does but she knows well how much i turn her on and it annoys her

"Let me hear it" i say sucking at the sensitive spot underneath her ear

"Yes you are!" she says holding onto me tight like her life depends on it

My hand now goes beneath her skirt and my oh my do i make her excited. My fingers brush slightly against her underwear and thats when the bell rings, ugh cockblocker

We both immediately separate adjusting our clothes watching the campus slowly getting crowded. Poppy's cheeks are red and i can already imagine what she is thinking of. I smile to myself watching her walk away

And that's when my phone buzz, of course a notification from The T

Hello loves,

Another day another drama. My rising star is now top 10 material, i am proud of you girl but i wouldn't count on it because we all know Miss perfect always gets what she wants. I love drama and Hughes is providing me with the best one yet. Good luck, you will need it

Kisses, The T

I still cant believe what i am reading. Top 10?!! I am here almost two months and i have outsmarted most of Poppy's moves. I smile as Zoe approach me screaming

"I knew you had it in you!!" she hugs me tight spinning me around

"Suck it Poppy" i yell as students around us are cheering. It feels good knowing that people are on my side finally seeing who they are bowing to years now

Someone tugs my hand and as i turn around i see Chloe crossing her arms

"So you managed to reach top 10 i see"

"Oh do you want an autograph? Thats so sweet" i say smirking

"Poppy is waiting for you behind the field"

"And who says that i am going?" I practically laugh but her face remains the same

"Listen i dont have all day Channel is having--"

"Alright dog, good girl! You earned a treat" and like that i give her head a pat walking towards hell basically.

I am sure Pops is mad at me, maybe she likes me but she is serious when it comes to her reputation. I approach her enjoying how nervous she looks

"If you wanted a date we could have arranged it" i say sitting next to her

Her expression is cold and distant and i sigh defeated "okay what is it? Is it the fact that i am top-"

"That list isn't that important Hughes, i can drag you down to the bottom within seconds" Wow okay i get it thats not the reason you are grumpy

"Why did you asked your dog to fetch me?"

Poppy rolls her eyes clearly annoyed by every word i say. Again i sigh not knowing what to do exactly. Sometimes i like to take her in. The way her foot is jiggling, the way she flips her hair when she is awkward. Everything about her is so perfect when all the eyes are laid on her but when we are alone i see another version of her

"I hate how entitled you feel" she finally says standing up "since you got here the only thing that you want is to ruin me!"

I feel my blood boiling as i stand up to get on her level "Excuse me? You attacked me the first moment i laid my foot in here!"

"That's because you love to shove your nose where it doesn't belong!" she now takes a step closer, anger written all over her features

"Oh give me a break, you were always cruel, people just now start to realise it" i take a step closer as well trying to intimidate her

"I run this school Newbee, you like it or not so go back to your little town where you were important because here? You are nothing" she spats out coldly and all i can do is stare at her. Her mask now falls completely

I can see the worry in her eyes,regret. Her posture isn't radiating power, instead i can see how uncomfortable she is. Aw are emotions a new thing for her? How charming.

Without missing a beat i kiss her letting all this anger turn into passion. "I hate you" i say kissing her neck desperately trying to find an inch of bare skin to touch

"I hate you more" she tries to say but her voice trails off when my hand goes underneath her skirt. I smile between our kiss when i feel how wet she is

"Did our fight made you excited?" I ask teasingly

"More kissing less talking" she says capturing my lips into a passionate kiss. I push her against a wall as my hand connects with her center

"Oh Bea.." she whispers against my lips and thats when i increase the pace just to hear her moan. Only i can watch her like this, so vulnerable so real

With each stroke i can hear her shouting my name digging her nails onto my back. Finally her body shakes as she has a violent release and i hold her tight against me

I bring my fingers to my lips and i lick them clean locking eyes with her. For a moment all we can do is stare at eachother and i think we are both questioning what did we just do? I smile trying to reach for her hand but she pulls away

Great she turned on her bitchy mode. "I will see you tomorrow?"

"I will ruin your entire life Hughes!!" She yells while walking away. Well that wasn't what she was saying seconds ago, oh wait yes she was busy screaming my name

"And yes you will, now go fuck yourself!" She yells again and i flip her off smiling

Thats how the rest of the semester went down. Infront of the eyes of the school we hated eachother's guts but behind closed doors we did the craziest things in the bedroom. Overall i do hate Poppy Min-Sinclair but i have to admit, this woman knows her stuff, enough to wonder how many layers does she really has?

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @coldbatfriendroad @coldbatfriendroad @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor

@ghalind @jayrnada @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @justastranger-passing

#queen b #queen bee #poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc #queen b poppy #choices fic #choices fanfiction #my fics #play choices #playchoices #pb choices #choices

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devart · 2 years

Photo

“here we are again” Taking a moment to share my painting, I was honored to paint this, as a tribute to strong business woman Ms. Swift. - I am you could say new to painting especially to a digital painting. recently graduated as a Civil Engineer. And thought how much taylor’s work was there for me for the last almost 10 years. I usually never share my work, and considered where I live people would find it odd, but a true Swfite might understand it. English is not my first language so I hope it wont be an Issue. When I was I high school I already knew who Taylor Swift was used to listen it as a guilty pleasure. when RED first was out the music was great I used to study for my SAT with it. And the flood hit mine town. I decided to take a gap year and not go to college. we were ok if you wondered. and that was the 1989 was released . amazing singles and I decided to get a whole album and my whole life was changed. the music was so fresh but retro, for the first time I truly understood what is so special while listening the whole album of an artist. it was in my car, it was my calming therapy... I learn to drive with “this love” and “clean” . conformed me when I lost some family members. 1989 inspired me to write some original lyrics that I am super proud of. its my inspiration game, I wrote my sisters wedding speech last minute, I had no idea what to say, took my headphones put 1989 and in like 10 minutes I had amazing speech that people complimented me for months. I went to college, got a small cold horrible apartment and when my playlist started playing Welcome To New York, I felt like home. (I was farm from NYC as I could be LOL). I made true my fist year and on second (that year was hell) after a long time a new album was about to happened, on third year REP was there I had amazing friends and rep was just my jam true the hardest year on my college journey. got mine bachelor degree, went on my master and when summer came LOVER was out, that September I had 4 exams and I needed to pass 2 to get to the next year. you can guess that I listened Lover visualized how easy I did all, and that happened I not only passed I got like streight A’s on them. and everytime i Listen to lover I feel calm walking on the riverside feeling happy and free that I could for the first time wait for next year not having tons of work. I was so in love with LOVER. and even today it takes me back and reminds me of amazing job I did, but next semester was there and ended it was my last year last semester before I get my master's, and the whole pandemic hit, folklore was there, I was already into folk it also helps me study and its just nice genre. I could not belive that there was an album from Taylor like that. and while everybody postponed their music Taylor just gave us a gift... an album that when I listen I still see my self holding that degree, aiming my exams again becoming an engineer again. - To all of you this might look like an boring story of where was I when taylor released her music, but to me its a personal, when I hear song Mine or enchanted I think of my dog and all memories I had with her before she was killed. when I hear 1989 I remember my self going true some big life changes and being brave. learning how to drive having big goal studding something that I was not ready for and still worked hard beveled in my self and graduate all five years in five years. learned that I can do so much more I learned how to paint I thought its impossible, learned hard math and design buildings. lover still makes me proud and feel that sunny transition from summer to fall, and how I got lucky with my work. Folklore and evermore still takes special place in my heart, reminding me of ultimate success and last years Christmas.

I took that music so personal, and I never had that connection to any other artist, and thats probably because Taylor makes her music personal. and share it with us. And I same super proud of her for standing up and taking her work back and owning it like she should owned it in a first place. Thank you for making this music. I cant wait for 1989 re-realise. Know that I will go crazy when that happened. and if anyone likes this digital painting of mine if you can download it feel free to print it and frame it thats something I’m gonna do. please do not sell it, even I wont sell it the art work was a tribute to Taylor. (we swifties got her back) The artwork is titled with taylor’s version, and by that it means she owned it. Thank you fo reading this post

#taylorswift #1989 #red #lover #evermore #folklore #reputation #13 #swifty #art #digital art #digitalpainting

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simply-trash5 · 4 years

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PuppetBoy

Okay Kankuro simps, got some more juice for ya! Seriously this was so fun to write. It is a college AU about Kankuro and a reader. I am pretty proud of it. I would love to write some things for you so PLEASE request. Seriously. I’ll even try smut (I’ve never written it before so we’ll see how it goes). Drop them in the ask box and if you like what you read you should totally tell me because i am a self conscious bean.

What the hell is that noise? You think to yourself as you look around. It sounded terrible. Whatever car was making that noise was definitely on it’s last leg. You nod your head realizing it was the same guy you see everyday parked across from the education building at your college. You could hear loud metal playing from the speakers and the windows shaking as he pulled into the lot. He jumped out,slammed the door and gave the tire a swift kick. Wow he’s kinda cute. He stood almost 6 ft. tall and had on a black hoodie that hung lightly over his brown hair. His black jeans had rips in the knees and you could see he was wearing scuffed black DocMartens. You continued to follow him with your eyes as he passed you walking toward the theatre building. He had an eyebrow ring and gauges. Oh shit, I think he caught me staring. He looked at you, scoffed and kept walking toward the theatre building. Is he a theatre major? You wondered to yourself. Maybe he just has to take a fine art credit. Letting your thoughts wander you pulled the straps on your bookbag tighter and walked to your class in the education building.

The class seemed to drag on forever, and you knew after that you had to go to your nannying job which would take up most of the evening. You wished that you didn’t have to have a job, but unfortunately scholarships didn’t cover all of your tuition. You grabbed your keys from your pocket and headed toward the parking lot. Climbing into your car you started the engine and began making your way to your job. You loved kids, so nannying was a great gig for you. When you arrived at the home of a doctor in your area you were greeted by a small boy with a large grin. “Ms. Y/N, can we go to the children’s theater today? Mom said we could go if it was okay with you, she even left my booster seat so you can drive!” You giggled and shrunk down to his height. “Well if your mom says it's okay, it's fine by me. Let’s grab your jacket and booster seat and we will leave.” The small child ran into the house. His mother approached you. “Thank you so much for watching Trevor,I know he is a handful but i'm rather fond of him.” You gave her a huge smile and told her that it was no problem and explained that you were going to take him to the children's theatre. She said her goodbyes and you walked into the house to retrieve the boys booster seat so that you all could make the 4:00 production of the Three Little Pigs.

The little boy sitting in front of you on the floor giggled wildly as a wolf puppet “ran” off stage. You smiled down at him. The curtains closed and the crowd gave them a round of applause. The stage hands and puppeteers began to disassemble the set so that they could get ready for the next show when you saw a familiar face. It's car boy. You smiled in his direction, and didn’t realize you may have looked at him a little too long. “Hey, take a picture, it will last longer.” The mysterious boy gave you an annoyed look and a blush began to creep up your face. He was wearing a tight black tshirt that showed off his muscular arms and his tattoo of a sandtimer on his forearm. “Come on Trevor, lets head home,” you said steering the young boy out of the theatre.

“Oh my god what did you say back?” your friend was screeching on the other side of the phone. “Well, see, I just kinda left.” you explained not wanting to relive the embarrassing moment. “Y/N, you have got to do something tomorrow. You’re going to see him in the parking lot and you don’t want it to be weird.” You were twirling your hair around your finger staring at your phone. “Y/N are you still there?” You snapped back to reality, “yeah, I think I will buy him a cup of coffee. I’m sure he never sleeps like the rest of us. He is a college student.” You both finished your conversation and you got ready for bed. You set your alarm early so that you could go to a coffee shop and grab him a coffee to make up for the awkward run-ins you had the last few days.

“God its early” you whined to yourself but got ready anyway. You had to make a better impression on puppet boy. You gathered your things and headed out the door and made your way to a local coffee shop. You grabbed your latte and then decided it was best to just give him black coffee. You drove to your college thinking about the handsome stranger all the way there. His brown hair was shaggy and fell right into his eyes, which you melted at the thought of his hair being pushed out of his face. Your mind started to drift to what your next move would be as you pulled into the parking lot. Okay, it's 7:45 he should be here any minute. Shit what should I do? In a moment of extreme confidence you grabbed a pen out of your backpack and messily scribbled your phone number on the side of the paper cup. God I hope this works. You took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. You could hear him coming for at least a mile. Alright Y/N you cannot chicken out now. He rolled in and slammed his car door as he had every morning for the earlier part of the semester. It's now or never, you've got this shit. You beelined toward his car. He realized you were approaching and looked at you with a strange face. You immediately got nervous. You just sat the coffee cup on the hood of his car, turned on your heel, and quickly walked to the education building. “HEY! HEY COME BACK!” You heard him calling after you as you continued on your way to class cursing yourself the entire time.

Buzz

You grabbed your phone from your pocket. An unknown number had sent you a text. “How do I know you didn’t drug this coffee so you can turn my corpse into a puppet?” you laughed at the text and a blush spread over your cheeks. “Now why would I do that?” you replied. You typed “Also that is oddly specific” “What can I say, I like puppets?” The conversation continued for the next few days. You saw him a few times on campus but you never spoke in person. He would send you funny memes and videos at all hours of the night. Apparently puppetboy is a night owl. “Um btw, we’ve been talking for days and I still don’t know your name. What should I call you.” “My name is Kankuro.” “Well Kankuro, my name is Y/N. Its nice to put a name with a face.”

Shit I’m never gonna finish this run. You thought to yourself as you continued to run on the treadmill. You had your headphones in and music blaring. You loved to run and hadn’t been to the gym in a few days due to all of your nannying obligations. Okay, only a half mile more to go, you thought to yourself as you pushed your body to keep running. Out of nowhere you felt a large calloused hand on your shoulder. You snapped your head “Hey listen creep I-” before you knew it you were falling only to be caught by Kankuro. “Y/N you falling for me already?” Kankuro flirted giving you a tight smirk. You were shocked, not only by the fall, but by the arms around you. They were strong and helped steady you with ease. He was wearing a dark grey tank top which showed his muscles and tattoo off wonderfully. His legs were muscular too and looked amazing in the black shorts he was wearing. In his other hand he had a pair of boxing gloves. You began to blush and he realized you were staring at him, imagining what he looked like under that tank top. Your hand crept up to your neck where you fiddled with your necklace. He gave you a small chuckle. “I’ve got to go spar with my buddy, but if you want to you can meet me out front in an hour.” You smiled and shook your head and he turned and walked away. The shorts hugged his bottom perfectly and the tank top showed his shoulder muscles. You could see another tattoo on his back. Was it puppet strings? You pursed your lips and began to blush. I would love to see those strings up close.

The hour wait seemed like the longest hour of your life. You waited out in front of the gym as he came bounding out the door. He was sweating and his shaggy hair was sticking to his forehead. He walked over to his car and opened the door. It made a horrendous screech as it opened and you stifled a laugh. “Whats so funny princess? Just for that we gotta walk to get food.” You blushed. Did he just call me princess? Why was that so hot? “Come on, I’m starving,” he said and began walking down the sidewalk. You walked hurriedly to match his long strides. Damn my short legs. “So Kankuro, where are we going?” he gave you a crooked grin. “Its a surprise.” You giggled and retorted “well how do I know you’re not trying to get me alone and turn my corpse into a puppet?” He gave you a devilish grin, “Well sweetheart lets find out.” Another pet name. Your face turned bright red and you stared at the sidewalk. You approach a deli that you frequent with your friends. “I love this place,” you exclaimed. “Well don’t be weird and actually order some food. I like a girl with an appetite.” You laughed and smiled. You ordered your usual and he ordered grabbing your food and heading outside to a table. You both began eating and chatting casually about your lives. You found out he loves horror movies, especially ones that feature creepy dolls or puppets. You also learned that he has a lot of horror memorabilia in his apartment and that he rarely sleeps. He boxes to keep himself busy when hes not working as a children’s puppeteer. He is studying theatre with concentrations in stage management and special effects makeup. “Kankuro, thats really fucking cool,” you said and began to tell him about yourself. You were studying to be a teacher and nannying as a job to make money for college. You lived in an apartment around the corner from the deli with a friend. “So Kankuro I noticed the sand timer on your arm, do you have any other tattoos?” He gave you another devilish grin.”Yeah I have a back piece that is marionette strings. I’ve loved puppets since I was little so I thought it would be cool. Do you have any tattoos?” You blushed. You stood and pulled up your athletic top to show a tattoo of your family's crest on your hip. You had to pull your shorts down ever so slightly revealing your black lacy underwear. He looked at the tattoo and then back to your face. “Thats a nice one,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. The conversation continued and you all talked more about your semester and your family. You laughed and told him about how you liked to run and also about how you thought it was cool he was a boxer. “Maybe one day we can spar angel,” he flashed a smile in your direction and you smiled back at the thought. You both got up from the table and threw your trash away. It was dark and cool. You pulled your jacked tighter around your shoulders. “I guess I am going to walk home and let you get back to the gym.” Kankuro shook his head “absolutely not doll, its dark and I’m walking you home.” You blushed. Another pet name, this boy is gonna be the death of me.

You began walking toward your apartment and your hands brushed several times by accident. “Damn Y/N if you wanted to hold my hand that bad all you had to do was ask. I aim to please.” You blushed and then punched Kankuro. “Still want to spar?” you said cheekily. You both walked in silence but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was as if you had known him your whole life. The comfort of him walking beside you felt so nice. “Well this is my apartment.” You sighed and reached for the door.

BAM

The door slammed shut and you noticed a strong arm beside your face. Kankuro looked down at your lips and smirked. You began to blush. The tension was so thick. I swear im going to pass out. Your heart began racing as he leaned into you. Your back was pressed against the glass of the door with a strong arm beside your head. His other hand made its way to your tattooed hip, he drew circles over your ink with his calloused thumb. His hands were so large that you could feel his fingertips on your back. The heat rose to your cheeks. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. He pulled back, his hand still burning a hole into your hip bone. You opened your eyes to see a smirked Kankuro. You were in shock when he reached his other hand to brush a stray piece of hair out of your face. Your thoughts raced, you wanted nothing more to bring him up to your apartment and let him give you that devilish grin some more.

“Guess I’m not a killer princess. Text me.” He chuckled, turned on his heel and walked back toward the gym. You watched him until he walked out of sight. You were ready to see him again and maybe see more of that back tattoo.

#naruto #naruto oneshot #naruto fanfiction #naruto au #kankuro x reader #kankuro au #kankuro #kankuro imagines #naruto imagines #eeeeek #im v nervous #please like it kank simps #trash writes

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princessjungeun · 4 years

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One Last Chance: Mina x Reader

Request: Hi! your stories are awesome! Is it okay I can request Mina x female reader college life, where Mina is the most popular rich girl, and her friends place a bet that Mina has to go out with you and make you fell in love with her but turns out the time you guys were together Mina eventually fells in love and tries to call off the bet, and you heard the whole thing, heartbroken you avoided her and Mina did anything that she could to bring you back, fluffy ending (: pleas and thank you!

Hi my loves. This is the long Mina scenario I was asking about earlier. This is really REALLY long but you all promised you wouldn’t mind so here it is 🙃

You transferred to Sungkyunkwan University at the beginning of this semester. Originally you attended MIT for Software Engineering, hacking is your specialty. When a professor recommended you for a study abroad, you couldn’t pass it up. You knew Korean well due to growing up in a heavily Korean influenced neighborhood as a child.

Coming to Korea wasn’t that bad because you were able to meet a few other people over social media before you arrived. You met your roommate months before you flew in so you already had one best friend.

Upon your arrival you already drew up quite a bit of attention. Somehow people found out you were from MIT which they couldn’t believe. Your roommate made sure to make you aware of who to avoid and who was friendly. Pretty much everyone was nice but she told you to watch for one group of girls.

Which is why when you were approached by none other than Mina Myoui aka the richest bitch in the whole school you were beyond confused. The raven haired girl asked “Hey. You’re Y/N right?” You had never seen Mina up close, she was ten times more beautiful than you thought.

“Wait do you speak Korean? I’m sorry. Are you Y/N?” She switched to English when you didn’t respond right away. You quickly tried to answer without sounding stupid “I-Uh um yes I am Y/N and I speak Korean yeah sorry I...I uh. I’m sorry...yeah.” You mentally face palmed yourself for not being able to say one simple sentence to her.

She sat down and said “you’re new and from what I know your only friend is Kahei. So meet me at the cafe down the street at 6, I’ll be waiting.” Before you could respond she got up and walked back to her group of friends who seemed to be laughing. You noticed two of the girls from her group. Im Nayeon was in one of your engineering classes while Minatozaki Sana was in a psych class you took to fill an empty slot.

When you got back to your dorm Kahei was on her bed reading a book. She asked “where’d you go?” You responded “the quad to start a project. But something really weird happened.” Kahei sat up on her bed and patted the spot next to her, “come on talk to me I wanna know.”

“That really rich and pretty girl....Mila? She’s friends with Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana...she came up to me and told me to meet her at the cafe down the street at 6.” Kahei’s eyes widened and she loudly said “MINA MYOUI ASKED YOU ON A DATE?” You shrugged then nodded. Kahei made you resite every thing that happened leading up to her asking you out for coffee. In the end she said “hmmmm...I don’t trust it. It sounds fake.” You responded “I do admit it’s a little suspicious that the most rich and popular girl in school asked me, the poor foreigner to a date...”

Kahei told you “well even if it is fake you’re gonna go to find out.” You looked at your sweatpants and t shirt you were currently wearing. You hair was in a messy bun and your thick glasses sat lopsided on your face. “Do rich people like girls who look like me?” You asked uncertainly. Kahei responded “only one way to find out!”

When you went to the cafe Kahei decided to tag along but sit at a different table with her girlfriend Haseul.

Mina arrived shortly after you, “oh i honestly didn’t think you’d show up.” She was surprised to see you actually came. You looked at you hands in your lap “I mean I think it’s rude to blow someone off...” Mina sat down across from you “you look really pretty.” You could tell that it was a genuine complement by the way she smiled softly when she said it. I guess rich people do like girls like me you thought to yourself.

For the next hour she asked you about everything there was she should know about you. Kahei told you to make sure not to disclose every detail about yourself because she still didn’t trust Mina. However by the end of the night you were convinced she was genuine.

•

Weeks passed and you continued to meet up with Mina, you knew Kahei and Haseul warned you about catching feelings too quickly but you couldn’t help it. Mina seemed so sweet and genuine despite her rich bitch demeanor.

You sat in the library working on a project with your classmate Yuqi. “I know we just met like this week but I don’t trust her either, I’m with Kahei on this one.” You don’t know why you decided to spill all of your business to Yuqi but something about her seemed trustworthy. You rolled your eyes “You all are delusional.”

Deep down you believed Kahei and Haseul and now Yuqi but you didn’t want to admit it. Mostly because you caught feelings for Mina. Badly. Yuqi didn’t pull her eyes away from her laptop “I-I’m just saying something here isn’t adding up. This isn’t right.”

“I’m just gonna- give me a minute.” Yuqi furiously typed away on her laptop, occasionally smiling and laughing to herself. After about two minutes passed she flipped her screen around in front of you was a KakaoTalk page. Mina Myoui’s to be specific.

“Yuqi! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” You whisper yelled to the younger girl who sat with a smile on her face. She simply answered “I hacked into her account. See?” You responded “I’m not reading her messages. That’s an invasion of privacy.” Yuqi responded “Ok well if you won’t I will, she has no relevance to me so it can’t hurt the nonexistent relationship between us.”

She scrolled and scrolled her facial expressions changing from surprised to one you couldn’t quite read. “Y-Y/N....um...I don’t know if you should read this yourself or not.” You felt a pit in your stomach form knowing whatever she had in front of her wasnt good news.

Yuqi slid her laptop to you and you read the messages shared between Mina and her friend group:

Sana: you have three days left in this bet Myoui

Chaeyoung: Sana’s right, you need to figure out how to get Y/N to confess to you

Nayeon: yeah if you don’t you can kiss that Maldives trip bye bye and we can say hello to that shopping spree :)

Mina: I dont want this anymore guys

Sana: are you chickening out?

Chaeyoung: shes chickening out

Mina: it’s not that

Nayeon: so what is it

Mina: nevermind

Jeongyeon: i might be in this friend group but this is wrong on every level

Tzuyu: I’m with Jeongyeon unnie

Dahyun: Me too

Momo: what bet? who is Y/N? I WANT A SHOPPING SPREE!

Jihyo: No you dont

Momo: no i do not

Jihyo: but I’m with Jeongyeon and the kids.

You couldn’t believe what you were reading. There was no way in hell Mina could have done this to you. Absolutely no way. Wanting to find some sort of happy ending you scrolled to a different chat with only this Jeongyeon girl. These newer messages brought on a new wave of emotions.

Jeongyeon: why are you trying to call it off now. You were all excited about it and now you want nothing to do with it.

Mina: I don’t know, It just feels wrong now

Jeongyeon: I know you Mina there’s something else

Mina: Theres nothing else

Jeongyeon: dont you dare lie to me

Mina: fine.

Mina: i like her. A lot. And i want to be with her.

Jeongyeon: then make your move

Mina: but if she finds out it was started with a bet....

Jeongyeon: well then come clean and apologize and pray she stays around. But honestly if i was her i wouldnt give you a second chance

Mina: thats not very reassuring

Jeongyeon: i’m disappointed in you, that’s the best you’re getting for now

Mina: ok, thank you unnie

Mina: i’m doing it tomorrow i’ll tell you how it goes

Jeongyeon: mhm

You looked to see when that last message was sent and it read yesterday’s date. So she was planning to confess or come clean today. Immediately you stood up and put your belongings in your bag before leaving Yuqi alone in the library.

You walked across campus to the dance studio where you found Mina dancing with another girl. “Myoui.” You pushed your glasses up to prevent them from sliding down. Mina turned and saw you “Y/N hey I thought we were going to meet la-”

You cut her off “I love you Mina Myoui, with all my heart I do! Is that what yo want to hear? Can you go to the Maldives now? You won. Congratulations bitch.” Mina looked at the other girl who stood in the room, she looked really confused and got uncomfortable and sprinted out, almost falling on her own feet.

“What are you talking about? I won? Maldives?” Mina questioned you. You snapped back “I didn’t stutter did I?” She replied “how did you- Who told you?” You responded “It’s not who told me or how I found out. You placed a stupid bet on me and toyed with my heart as if you were interested and I fell for your bullshit. Stay the fuck away from me. And if I catch you even thinking about talking to Kahei...you’ll wish you didn’t.” You turned around and walked out not giving Mina a chance to talk.

•

Weeks passed and the semester was coming to a close in 6 weeks. You hadn’t heard a thing from Mina or any of her friends. Sana and Nayeon stayed away from you when they had class with you. Kahei, Haseul, and Yuqi introduced you to their friends instead to make up for the relationship you once had.

Out of all of the girls you met through Kahei and Yuqi, Jinsoul and Miyeon were closest with you. Miyeon walked into your room “Hey. We’re going to a party and you’re coming. All you’ve done is moped around, worked on projects, or went to the boxing gym. It’s been too long you need to go out.” You groaned “don’t you have work today?” Miyeon responded “ok we meant you and Jinsoul but she’s finishing an assignment so she sent me to tell you.” You rolled over on your face knowing there was no getting out of this. “Ugh fine.” You giving into your friends wishes.

Miyeon left and outfit for you before leaving your dorm to head to work. You looked over your reflection in the mirror. Miyeon definitely tried something with this outfit because you never wore these types of clothes.

You were finishing up your hair when Jinsoul unlocked your door, ready to go. “Woah...You look so good!” She jumped up and down and clapped her hands excitedly. You quickly but in your shoes and grabbed your phone before she yanked you out of the door.

This house party was definitely run by someone rich because this house was really nice. You linked arms with Jinsoul and held her hand so you wouldn’t lose her in the crowd of people. The two of you found your friend groups and stayed together with them for most of the night.

You noticed some of Mina’s friends were there as well but you didn’t see Mina. Jinsoul danced against you as you held her close laughing at her antics. Throughout the night you noticed she was watching one girl in particular, Kim Jungeun. She was in your guys’ friend group but because there’s a total of 19 girls in the group, the two of you weren’t exactly close with everyone. You know she went by Kim Lip, only allowing a few people to call her Jungeun.

“Ooo I see Lip is alone, now’s your chance go go!” You pushed Jinsoul towards the girl. Your best friend responded “no what about you I see Mina’s friends here, what if she arrives?” You pushed her further “i’ll be fine I can handle myself, just keep your phone on!” She nodded and let her hand slip out of yours, running towards Kim Lip.

You danced on a few girls and a few random dudes before getting tired of the environment. Knowing you couldn’t leave Jinsoul, you decided to walk upstairs to see if there was anything to explore. You accidentally walked in on a couple before you realized you should knock on doors before opening them.

You found a door that was open so you walked in, ready to punch of someone came at you unexpectedly. The room was large, like really large, pictures hanging on the walls, stuffed animals lining whoever’s bed it was.

However the most eye catching thing was the gigantic window that overlooked the city. You slid it open and saw there was enough room on the roof for you to safely sit. Taking in deep breaths of cool air you hugged your knees to your chest.

A knock on the shingles is what snapped you out of your trance. You expected Jinsoul but instead you saw Mina. The Japanese girl softly asked “Do you mind?” You responded coldly “no.” She smiled and walked out sitting next to you, “Id hope not, you are sitting on my roof.” You asked “so this is your place? This isn’t the same one I visited those times though.” Mina responded “rich people unnecessarily buy multiple houses.” An awkward silence fell over the two of you.

She looked at you but you stared straight ahead waiting for her to talk. Eventually you grew impatient, “I’m pretty sure you didn’t come out here to look at me, so whatever you have to say just go ahead.” She sighed then said “I’m sorry. I truly am. My friends were being stupid one day and betted me to go ask you out. Originally my intentions weren’t true and I only wanted to win. But after getting to know you...I kind of fell for you and I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

You could tell she was being genuine by the tone in her voice. You hesitated then said “I loved you Mina.” She quickly responded “I love you too.” You were quick to ruin the moment “I said loveD. Past tense. I-I don’t know if i can trust you anymore.

Mina reached for your hand and you allowed her to hold it. “Please Y/N. Give me one last chance and if I mess it up you’ll never have to even think about me. I’ll make sure my friends don’t think about doing anything. Please just one more chance. Please.” Something about seeing her like this made your heart melt and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You gave in “Fine. One last chance. That’s it.” She smiled and finally you looked at her. Her adorable gummy smile that you once loved so much was back. She placed a hand behind your neck, with her eyes she asked you for permission. You nodded and she kissed you softly. In that moment you remembered every reason why you loved Mina before.

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #twice fluff #twice scenarios #twice imagine #twice mina #myoui mina

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wolferals · 4 years

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🇪🇸jueves🇪🇸

finally fallin' chapter 4

arón piper x reader

(The spanish is all google translate, i wont take responsibility for mistakes)

chapter 4

You were nervous. Even more nervous than on your first day of college. You were so nervous you even thought about what you were gonna say to him as a first greeting.

Insanity.

Besides the fact that you looked absolutely amazing your knees were weak as you were walking out of your last class. You had put on a summery dress with some sneakers and even applied makeup just to look your best for when you met him. Not that anyone should change their appearance for a boy/girl, you felt better knowing you dont look like just fell into a dumpster. And with your usual messy bun and a sweater you did.

You saw him standing in front of the building with his phone in his hand. And he looked fine as hell.

With that cream-colored button up and those jeans he looked like a fucking god.

„Hey." you smiled at him as you got closer.

He looked up and scanned you before replying:"Hola. Cómo estás?"

He gave you that glance you hadnt seen in many boys' eyes. The way he looked at your body made you feel confident, you felt pretty again.

Its been a while for you to feel like a guy really appreciates you.

„You look beautiful! How come there's not 10 boys following you everywhere?" he chuckled at his own joke.

You blushed instantly.

You did feel good because it was him telling you he liked how you had dressed.

„So, how was your day?" you asked as you both were walking down the street next to each other.

„Boring so far, I was just at home. I woke up an hour ago."

Laughing you looked at him.

„Wow."

Arón smiled at you.

That smiled made you feel so incredibly happy.

„Alright tell me something about you before we talk about business." he exaggerated the word „business" as if it was a secret mafia plan or something.

You basically told him the same you had told Itzan the night before. Why you were here, your friends, family and basic hobbies.

He listened carefully and didnt even interrupt you.

When he realized you wouldnt continue talking he spoke:"So how long are you staying here for?"

-„A semester. I started on Monday, October 3rd and I'll be staying until March 16th I think?"

Arón nodded. „No chance of staying longer?"

You chuckled. „Maybe, If I really wanted to I could maybe do another semester but I'd have to talk to my professors here and in (your home country)"

He smiled satisfied with your reply.

You guys continued walking through the tourist-filled streets of Madrid and he told you some things about either sights you passed or general knowledge about stuff when you asked him something.

Then he suddenly smiled at you and pointed at a light blue house across the street.

„We're here; thats my favorite coffee shop."

You followed him into the café, smiling immediately when you saw a little cat on the floor.

„Naw is it a cat café?" you asked and bent down to touch her soft fur.

„Sí, claro." Arón replied and then sat down at the table right next to where you were standing.

„Come on y/n. I need to tell you about the video."

You laughed at him, let go of the cat and finally sat down across from him.

„Okay start." you exclaimed as you were sitting there calmly, waiting for his explanation.

Arón took a deep breath, folded his finger on the table and started talking.

„Okay so, you listened to the song right?"

You simply nodded.

„Alright, i doubt you understood what it was saying so I'm going to explain it to you.

It basically shows that „I" have found someone that makes me happy and she seems to like me too. So the video is going to be very cute and romantic and stuff.

In the first scene my friend and I thought we'd walk through the city, just sightseeing and then maybe getting some food together.

Then we want to take some shots at a bar, dancing and some drinks you know. As well as some shots sitting on a rooftop, cuddling and doing couple stuff.

And if you'd be comfortable with it, we'd include a small kiss at the end. But only if you want to, i think it would be a nice ending as the song fades but if that crosses the line, its totally cool. We dont have to do that."

You had listened carefully and thought about doing all these things with Arón. You didn't exactly have a problem with kissing him but since you kind of had a tiny little thing for him you wanted your first kiss to be in private, not in front of a camera.

But on the other hand you didnt know if he liked you back so you agreed immediately since it could maybe be your only chance to kiss him.

„Oh perfect! Thank you, i think its gonna be a great video." he smiled at you.

You sent him a small smile as well, still thinking about the fact that you were going to kiss this handsome Spanish actor.

„You sure I can do this? I've never acted before."

He nodded and spoke right after:"Of course, you're gonna do amazing. Just pretend there was no cameras."

Slowly you nodded.

„So we're cool on this side? You're comfortable with the scenes or do you have some other ideas as well?"

He suddenly asked after a while, sipping on his previously ordered milkshake.

„Yeah, its fine. I'll think of something."

Arón smiled at you brightly.

That smile made you happier again.

„When are we going to start tomorrow?"

You asked him.

He checked his phone for a quick second and then spoke:"Is 3 good for you? If we do the <walking around, having food> scene fast, we can film the night scenes right after taking a break or something."

-„And where's the kiss gonna take place?" It just happened, you didnt mean to say it.

Arón laughed a little before finally speaking:"We wanted to maybe shoot the last scene at my place, sitting on the couch with a drink and then end the video with a kiss. Dont worry, you dont have to make out with me or anything, just a quick little kiss."

You replied:"No, no i wasnt worried, just wondering how this was going to happen tomorrow."

He nodded understanding.

You guys then kept on talking about pretty random things, had some milkshakes and even shared a slice of chocolate cake. Arón was super into eye contact you figured. He never took his eyes off of you, for you on the other hand it was really hard to maintain looking at him.

Not because you didnt want to, more like because you werent used to a guy „staring" at you for longer.

„How many people are gonna be there tomorrow??"

Your sudden panic came to show.

Arón seemed to notice the nervousness in your voice because he leaned forwards to get closer to you and spoke softly:"Tranquila y/n, not many. Just me, my friend who helped me write it and 2 guys for the camera and sound and all that. Its gonna be fine, I'll be there to guide you, i promise."

<he was going to be there to guide you> that sentence replayed in your head over the course of about a minute until you dared to speak again.

„What if I mess up, what if I look into the camera, fall and bleed or even worse, fall and die?"

Arón bursted out laughing, which made you frown at him.

„Y/n." He placed his big hand on top of yours.

You stared down at your hands for a second before looking up into his brown puppy eyes.

„You wont die, I promise."

#elite #aronpiper #cute #preference #omander #aronxreader #ander #preferences #smut #itzan escamilla

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kareofbears · 4 years

Text

persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago

disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post.

now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!

1) Akechi

so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form.

I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.

back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)

2) the ending

just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life).

But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved.

Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5.

3) the entire last semester

i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.

what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun.

one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.

4) everything else

- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!

- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much

- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.

-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE

-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to

-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much

- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy

-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up

- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces

- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality

-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall

so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again.

I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)

#p5 #persona 5 #p5r #persona 5 royal #mine #such a long post but totally worth it

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semiconducting · 3 years

Text

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical.

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class.

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other.

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh).

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else.

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove.

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around.

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was.

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

#shut up mega #this ended up being longer and more in depth abt the earlier half of the year than i meant it LOL #a summary of my 2020 i spose #also there's some kinda detailed talk of #suicide ment -#self harm ment -#IM CRYING AFTER WRITING THIS OUT LMAOOOO

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beautifullydisconnected · 5 years

Text

Face-off

Pairing: Hockey/Student Harrison x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, some angst

A/N: My Canadian heart is loving this concept so if you want more hockey play tom or Harrison let me know.

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Harrison was the boy that all the girls at school loved, and he knew it. The star of the schools hockey team, getting looked at by multiple NHL teams as he had been drafted right out of highschool, but ended up as a free agent. He was cocky, and smug living up to the stereotypes. He drove you absolutely nuts, and it didn’t help that you were in the same major so you were stuck seeing him everyday.

“Good morning Love,” he cooed as he took his seat next to you.

“Osterfield,” you said bluntly.

“We won our game yesterday, in case you cared.”

“I’m aware,” You tried to make yourself busy prepping your stuff for class.

“Are you now?” He leaned closer to you, “Where you at the game yesterday?” A cockiness in his voice.

“Yes,” you rolled your eyes, “And no it has nothing to do with you. Everyone was going and it was a pretty big game.” Thankfully the prof walked in and class began, meaning you could focus on the lecture rather than the insufferable Harrison Osterfield.

-----------

“Alright class, for the upcoming project I want you to partner up, you’ll be working together for the remainder of the semester. Choose wisely.”

You began to look around, but this happened to be the only class that your friends weren’t in. As you looked over Harrison was facing you with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Hey partner,” you rolled your eyes, “Looks like you’re stuck with me for the next couple months.”

“Looks like it,” you began to pack up your stuff.

“So what do you want to do for the project? I was thinking something relating to literature? I know that you’ve tagged that on to your degree on top of the history so I thought we could work both aspect?”

“How did you know I was a lit student as well?”

“Well if you aren’t reading one of our history textbooks, you usually have your head buried in some classic novel, or anthology related to lit.”

“Right, uhm, well sure.” You were completely taken aback. “Why don’t we meet up Thursday after class, and we can brain storm some more.” You grabbed your things and began to walk away, but not before Harrison called after you.

“Love, I don’t have your number,” You stopped in your tracks turning back to him, with his phone held out, “never know when I may need to get ahold of you.”

“Right.” You punched in your number and began to head to your next class.

*ding*

[000-000-0000]: You’re kind of cute when your flustered 😜

[000-000-0000]: Its Harrison btw

The rest of the day went on as normal. You went to your next class, then spent the rest of the day at the library doing research for other classes and going over notes for an upcoming midterm.

[Harrison Osterfield]: I’m pretty sure one person shouldn’t be able to take up an entire table at the library with notes.

You rolled your eyes, flipping over your phone, and getting back to your studying.

“Ouch,” You looked up to Harrison looking slightly offended. “Mind if I sit? All the other tables are full.”

“Uhm, sure,” you began to clean up your mess of notes from all over the table. “Didn’t want to sit with the puck bunnies at the table over there?” You nodded your head to a group of girls who had been watching Harrisons every move since he came over to you.

“I mean as much fun as that would be I actually need to get work done.” He smiled, pulling out his laptop, and a textbook.

The rest of the afternoon passed with the two of you doing your own thing, with a few comments or conversation breaks between. You were pleasantly surprised by the fact that Harrison actually cared about his work, a lot of the other guys that you had seen around campus from the hockey team didn’t seem to care too much, they did their work, but just barely so.

“Hey, so we have a game tomorrow night, I, uh was wondering if you were going?” Harrison asked while packing up his stuff.

“Oh, uhm, I hadn’t really thought about it.” Why did he care? “I guess it depends on how much work I get done tomorrow.”

“Fair, well if you do end up coming let me know, I’ll leave a ticket for you.” He grinned.

“Oh wow, okay. I guess I’ll let you know by lunch tomorrow if that works?”

“Sounds good to me. See you later.”

Did you seriously just have a civil and normal conversation with Harrison? The Harrison Osterfield, certified fuckboi on campus. As you looked up you could see the girls that had been watching Harrison earlier now glaring at you.

-------

The rest of your evening was uneventful, you spent it making dinner and watching netflix, still not believing you had spent most of your day with Harrison, and that he was actually nice. The next day was just like every other day, you went to class, had a meeting with a prof to go over a paper, and grabbed lunch before heading back to your dorm.

[Harrison Osterfield]: Hey just wanted to check-in and see if you had decided if you were coming to the game?

Shit. You totally forgot. Did you have time to go? Well you were caught up on everything especially if you did more work up until you leave for the game.

Ya, I’ll go.

[Harrison Osterfield]: Awesome! I’ll have a ticket there for you.

You still had no idea why he was acting this way, but if you could get a free hockey game out of it, you might as well.

----------

You made you way to the rink, feeling a little out of place. You still couldn’t believe you agreed to go, and alone. Most times when you went to games you were with a group of friends, but this time you were alone. You made your way to the ticket line.

“Hi, uhm, there should be a ticket here for me under Harrison’s name.” You tugged at the ends of your sleeves nervously.

“(Y/L/N)?” the clerk asked.

“Yup.”

As you walked into the arena it felt like home. You had grown up at the rink watching your brother, and your dad always brought you to games, and just like that you felt at ease. As you looked at your ticket you realized that you had one of the best seats in building. You went to your seat and took in everything. You couldn’t lie to yourself you were really excited to be here. Within minutes the arena filled with people, the lights went down, and the announcers voice boomed through the speakers. Announcing the teams, the anthem was sung, and just like that the game began.

You had found Harrison no problem during warm ups, and he found you giving you a small wave before going back to warming up. The first period was as normal as they got, a few shots on net, a penalty here and there, but nothing too major. Between periods you decided to go grab a coffee to keep your hands warm, and to keep you awake. The start of the second began with a huge check to one of our schools players, and a fight broke out between Harrison and the guy who check our player. You kept your eyes on him as he made his way to the penalty box. After that Harrison was playing like everything was on the line. He managed to score two goals, and got an assist. By the third your school was up 6-4 with three minutes left. You knew better then to think the game was over in the last three minutes anything was possible. Your team had the puck and were making their way down the ice, the puck was passed to Harrison he brought it up, passing it off and quickly getting into position, getting the puck back and shooting it right away getting his third goal of the game. Hats went flying onto the ice, as per your schools tradition to anyone scoring a hattrick. The game ended at 7-4. This was the first season in a long time that your team had managed to win multiple at home games back to back. After everyone was off the ice and beginning to clear out you heard your phone.

[Harrison Osterfield]: Hey! Would you want to go grab something to eat?

Sure.

[Harrison Osterfield]: Sweet! Meet me by exit near the changing rooms in 15!

You made your way to the change room area. As you stood there you felt a little weird, as everyone else was a significant other of one of the players, or girls that were hoping to get lucky with one of them. You tried to distract yourself scrolling through instagram, and checking your group chats to see if you missed anything.

“Hey!” Harrison sauntered over to you. Startling you a bit as he was in dress pants and dress shirt.

“Well I feel a little underdressed,” you teased.

“I think you look fine,” he draped his arm over your shoulder pulling you with him, taking you off guard again. You followed him outside to the parking lot.

“Harrison,” you tried to stop him

“Hmmm,” he stopped facing you.

“What are you doing? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I’m, I. Why do you hate me?”

“I-I don’t hate you,” you stuttered over your words.

“Well up until yesterday you wouldn’t even give me the time of day. So I decided to take advantage of you treating me like a normal human to try and befriend you.” You could feel your cheeks warming up, and you felt like an idiot.

“I’ve never hated you,” you looked up at him, “You’re just you. And you’re cool, and attractive and a little bit arrogant at times, and a bit of a pain in my ass. And your…” gesturing to him as a whole.

“I’m what love?” he had a smug grin on his face.

“What?” you were getting noticeably flustered. Harrison moved closer to you.

“Did you just say I was attractive?”

“Oh shut up Harrison, you know your attractive, hell everyone knows you are.” You rolled your eyes.

“Ya, but I like hearing you say it.” He was a lot closer then he had been moments again.

“Why do you care what I think?”

“Because you’re the only person on campus who doesn’t seem to care who I am or where my future is heading.”

“Well, ya, I mean, aren’t you destined to be some big NHL star this time next year?”

“Well ya, but with that comes money, and girls throwing themselves at me.”

“Oh, ya. I’m sure thats so hard on you.” you patted his chest, mocking him.

“It is when I can’t tell who wants to be my friend for me and who’s using me for the potential fame.”

“Well pretty boy, I’m not using you for your ‘potential’ fame, because thats the last thing I want.”

“I know. Thats why I like you.” He was staring into your eyes now.

“Well I mean I guess your alright,” you teased.

“No, I mean I like you, like you.” He closed the gap waiting for you to say anything before his hands were on both sides of your face, bringing his lips to yours. When he pulled away you had no idea what to say.

“I- what just happened?” You looked at him

“Well, I confessed my feelings. Kissed you and now we’re here.” He just stared at you and before you knew it you were the one closing the gap between the two of you, arms around his neck pulling him closer to you, as his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to him.

“Safe to say I definitely don’t hate you Osterfield.” you smiled.

Tagging: @bewitched-haz @osterfield-holland-andcompany

#hockey player Harrison #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield au #harrison osterfield oneshot #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fic #haz osterfield #Harrison Osterfield blurb

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kweebtrash · 5 years

Text

Eres Mia (M)

Messy Chapter 8

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness

Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum

Word Count: 21,103K

A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

The Boys Group Chat

Taeyong: 5

Lucas: what???

Ten: 5 what?

Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.

Lucas: HOLY FUCK

Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

Ten: how?? When??? What???!

Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.

Lucas: how tf did u manage that??

Lucas: i thought you hated her

Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit

Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything

Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch

Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong

Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up

Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble

Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???

Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here

Ten: i cannot believe

Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately

Johnny: wtf is going on

Taeil: oooooooffff this is….

Ten: the tea brews itself

Johnny: Taeyong what did you say

Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you

Yuta: dude this is…

Johnny: don’t go near her again

Johnny: i mean it

Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you

Taeyong: yall arent even official

Johnny: i don’t care

Johnny: dont touch her

Yuta: johnny quit it

Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself

Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn

Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.

Johnny: im not jealous

Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party

Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time

Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.

(Johnny has left the chat)

Ten: fuck

Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous

Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think

Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me

Lucas: she flirts with everyone

Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?

Taeyong: who cares

Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs

Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will

Yuta: WHOA WHOA

Yuta: you mean try and date her?

Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea

Taeyong: i never said id date her

Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens

Taeyong: thats all im saying

–

It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.

He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.

By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.

His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.

“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”

My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”

“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”

I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.

I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”

He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”

“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.

I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”

“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”

I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”

“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”

“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”

“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”

He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”

“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”

“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”

“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”

“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”

He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”

“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”

“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”

“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”

He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”

I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”

“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.

I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”

“Clearly it fucking does.”

“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”

“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”

“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”

I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.

“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.

“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”

“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”

I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.

He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.

“I-im sorry, ok?”

No you’re not.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”

Well it is now, so fuck you.

“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”

I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?

“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”

I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.

“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”

By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.

“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”

That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!

“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”

It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.

“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”

I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.

I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.

“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”

My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”

“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.

“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”

“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”

“W-what?” I asked, stunned.

“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”

I nodded. “It’s a start…”

He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”

“I know, princess. I know.”

“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”

“Ok…” he said simply.

I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”

“I’m not yours…”

“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.

“Ass…”

“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.

I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.

“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.

“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”

“But why does it have to be like this?”

“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”

“Call what off?”

“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”

“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”

He nodded.

“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”

He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.

“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”

“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”

“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.

“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.

“Shut. Up.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”

There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.

“No. I-i cant…”

“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.

He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”

“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”

“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”

“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”

“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.

I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.

He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.

It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.

My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”

“The condom broke.” He trembled.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”

I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.

“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”

“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”

“DON’T YELL AT ME.”

“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.

“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”

“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”

“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”

“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”

“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.

“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.

“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.

He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”

I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”

“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”

“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”

“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.

“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”

I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”

I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

“Doyoung, I need you please.”

“Be right there.”

He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.

“’M leavin’.”

“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”

He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.

He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”

“You liked it…” he whispered.

“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”

“That’s emotional manipulation.”

“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”

“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.

“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”

“And now you’re sticking up for him?”

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”

“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”

“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”

“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”

“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”

I pulled away from Doyoung completely.

“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”

“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”

I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.

–

Johnny’s POV

“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.

I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.

My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.

I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.

What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?

I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?

Fuck.

The stupid condom.

I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.

I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.

A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey

I typed in my simple response quickly.

Hey

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over

Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?

What for babe?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: we need to talk.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap

Talk about what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it

Give me like 15 mins. Im busy

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.

I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…

–

Eri’s POV

I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.

“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.

“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”

“Oh…” he said, dejected.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”

“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”

I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!

“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.

“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.

“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”

“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”

“You better start talking asap, bro!”

“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“

"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”

I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”

I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.

“Eri…is this really that serious?”

I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”

“What do I get in return?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”

“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.

“Anything.”

“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”

“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.

“Yeah, i’ll do it.”

“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”

“A motel, huh?”

“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.

“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”

“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”

“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”

He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”

I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”

“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”

“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.

“How much do you know?” I asked.

“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”

“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”

“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”

“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”

I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”

“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.

I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”

“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.

“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.

“I knew it, pig.”

“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.

“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.

“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.

“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”

He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”

“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”

I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”

He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”

“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”

“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”

I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”

“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.

“What?”

“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?

My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.

“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”

“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.

Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.

–

I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.

My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.

Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.

His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”

“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”

He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.

“Do I…do I look okay?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”

“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.

“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”

I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.

I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.

“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”

“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”

“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”

I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”

“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”

I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”

He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”

I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”

“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”

“Trust me, it definitely is.”

–

“ERIANNALISSE!”

I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”

“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.

“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.

I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”

He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”

“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”

My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?” He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.

“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”

“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.

“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.

“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”

I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”

“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.

“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.

“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”

I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pastel pink.” He answered.

“Favorite food?”

“Pizza…and pasta.”

“What instruments can she play?”

“Guitar, and she sings.”

“What’s her favorite anime?”

“Sailor Moon.”

Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”

Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”

“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”

“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”

“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”

“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”

“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.

Dani shrugged. “I mean…”

I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”

“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”

I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.

“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.

“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”

“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.

“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”

I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”

“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”

Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”

“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.

I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.

Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.

The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.

“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”

“She looks nice.”

“She’s a little shit but I love her.”

“I could say the same about you.”

I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”

“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.

“Right…yeah, um…ok.”

“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.

“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”

He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?

“So…” he said.

“Are you gonna like…move?”

“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”

“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”

“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”

“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”

“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.

“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.

Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”

“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.

He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”

“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”

I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.

“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.

He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???

He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”

Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”

“I’m her boy-”

“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”

Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.

“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.

“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.

–

Johnny’s POV

That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.

I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.

"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s Eri?”

“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.

“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You’re fuck buddies?”

“Yes.”

“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”

I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.

“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”

I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”

I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”

“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”

“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”

“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”

“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”

“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”

I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”

“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”

“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”

“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.

I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.

“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.

“Johnny!” She exclaimed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”

“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”

She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”

“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”

“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”

“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”

“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.

“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?”

“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”

“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”

“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”

“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”

I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.

“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.

“Do you want to find out?”

“M-maybe.”

I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”

She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.

–*

Eri’s POV

I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.

Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.

“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.

“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”

“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.

“That’s what I meant.”

“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”

“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.

“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.

“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”

I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”

He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.

“Open.” He demanded.

“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.

“Suck harder, Eri.”

I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.

He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.

“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.

“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”

I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”

He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”

He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.

I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.

“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.

He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.

"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.

He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”

I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”

He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.

I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.

He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.

My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.

Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”

I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.

“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”

I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.

His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”

He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.

But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.

–*

Johnny’s POV

I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?

She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.

“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.

“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”

“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.

“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”

She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”

“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”

“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”

I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”

She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”

“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.

“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”

Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”

“When?!”

“What do you mean when!?”

“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”

“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.

“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I’ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”

“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.

“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”

I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.

“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”

“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”

“JUST DO IT.”

I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”

“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”

“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”

‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”

I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”

She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”

“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.

–

We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.

I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?

“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.

“Talk. Talk now.” was all he said.

I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.

“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”

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prorevenge · 5 years

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After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

#prorevenge #by /u/let-the-write-one-in #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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matiasalbcam · 4 years

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Iirc, when i finished the second year of uni I did a review of all subjects, and now that i’ve finished the career, I’m in the mood of doing so for the rest of the career, so here we are, Camino’s 5th semester Review:

-GENERAL CONSTRUCTION PROCEDURES: The source of all evil. No, really. “Procedures?¡?¡” You may say, or it may say so a fellow caminero. And yes, is the source of all evil. Not the subject itself, is the fact that is has 7.5 credits when is a subject of 3. This subject is the main reason that the 6th semester is hell on earth, as it pushes some subjects that could perfectly be taught in the 5th and so free somewhat the 6th into the 6th. Like, idk, give them 3 credits and then put sanitary in the 5th! Then in the 6th you make geotech and infraestructures 6 each one instead of 4,5, idk, something. But 7.5 credits this subject? No way. Besides that it was a decent subject, the proffesor was really boring but all the stuff about cranes was interesting, and i also would never forget it because in the final test i answered one question thanks to garupan, as they asked how a backhoe moves and turns, and i said “ i guess is like tanks on garupan, they both have tracks idk man” and indeed, is the same.

HYDRAULICS AND HIDROLOGY: A really good subject! I love the proffesor ( you will never read this, but i love you Luis Mediero why you dont teach us in the master, please we miss you). Like the name says, it was about all things water. Pipes and channel hidraulics are interesting, in particular channel. I must admit that the curves you see water make in rivers or channels were random, but no. Not at all. Water can follow 6 curves on open channels, nothing more, nothing less. Hidrology is STATISTICS, basically. The work flow for obtaining the flow and runoff is a entertaining one, and i really cant say that i ever thoughted “OH please not again the S hyetogram “ you know.

URBANISM: What a lovely voice the proffesor had. There was something about his voice, his speaking cadence that was soothing and very charming. I always loved hearing him talk, even if what he was talking about was not the most thrilling stuff ever. Urbanism is basically learning about all kind of laws, and is quite important, but at the same time is an arid subject and while i enjoy doing exercises, i abhor studying theory and more theory (in fact, i have tomorrow a theorical test of Computer Methods, and here i’m writing this instead of studying because fuck, studying theory is superior to my willpower, i’m sorry, i’m weak) but somehow i managed to get like a god damn 8 in the final examn. Dont ask me how. The test was first a question about the history of urbanism, then a exercise ( Do you know that in spain there is a minimun amount of green areas for each m2 of house built? And of parking slots? The exercise was about that, and i dont remember anything. Sorry, again) and the final part were 100 test questions, that again, did not know half of them but still somewhat got an 8. 4 years have passed and i still cant believe it.

SOIL AND ROCK MECHANICS: I failed this subject my first year, but really because i did not studied it at all, and passed without problems the next year. The subject is fine, nothing spectacular but nothing terrible either. I must say, tho, i hope someday i will be free and never see a Mohr’s circle again in my life, but i have the little suspicion that is too late now. Is everywhere, that round boy. Also! Also! The lab sessions were a lot of things, thrilling was not one of them.

COMPUTATIONAL MECHANICS: I hate computers. Everyday, i think about the noble heroes that choose to dedicate their lifes to work in these evil machines, forsaken by god and humankind. Seriously, good work. I’m extremely bad at programming, and this was a subject about programming so it did not bode well. I passed it, but i feel it was more for pity than for my merits.

STRUCTURE CALCULUS: 0, Not presented, 0.6, 0, 8.6. These are all my marks in this subject, in the three years i have to curse it. My lowest mark ( I’ve never got an 0 again in all the career! Never! My second worst mark is like a 3 in my first time on differential equations) and, at the end, my second best mark of all the career LOL, (the first one being my honorific mention on hidraulic’s infraestructures) . The difference? That i finally understood it when i went to cram school. Then i said filho da puta, agora sin emtendo like the meme, and passed the subject. Is fine!, once you understand it of course something that you wont do going to regular classes lol. I have no regrets, no hatred against it to be honest.

And thats it. Is not a bad semester, and like i said IT COULD PERFECTLY HAVE ANOTHER SUBJECT. WHY EVERYTHING IS IN THE NEXT ONE. WHY PROCEDURES HAVE 7.5 CREDITS? I will die, and these questions will be still unanswered. Of the 6th semester, aka hell on earth aka the source of all the suffering of this career (not of all, true, but one of the main reasons!) aka there is literally not time to study everything at the same time (not sacrificing a lot of things on the process! Of course there are people that finish the career in 4 years, but at what cost?), about that semester we will talk another day.

#caminero #caminos stuff

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regdaran · 4 years

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The Day Hell Came to Earth. Chapter one: The Shift.

Chapters: | 1 | |

Carth had always thought Joan was the laziest of the group, But skipping out on the first day of the new semester was an entirely new level of slacker. The bus pulled into place along the sidewalk. The three of them all boarded and waved their student passes at the driver. Of course Dominic and Hiela had to come along with him. The second he asked Hiela to take extra notes for class, she had grown suspicious. Hiela then in turn asked Dominic to take extra notes for their shared classes, this brought him into the ever continuing domino line. All of which led here, to the three of them trying to find Joan through his cell signal, finding he had boarded a bus at 6:30 in the damn morning, and then the three of them boarding a bus at 8:00 going the same direction.

"And you're sure that he's still right there?" Dominic poked at Hiela's phone, the display flickering and cutting in and out.

"HEY! Watch what your doing! Ah! What did you do to my phone? Did you break it?" Hiela was shaking her phone, despite knowing full well that wouldn't stabilize the screen.

"It's not just yours, mines on the fritz too." Carth picked up his phone and showed the static that was displayed on the screen. All of their phones had been acting strangely for the last few days. According to the message boards on campus, it was caused by some error in the last big software update.

"To answer your question Dominic, I'm not sure. All I know is thats where his phone was the last two times I pinged it." Hiela was a savant when it came to tech but with their phones problems effectively running interference, she was limited in what she could do. Honestly Carth was amazed that her phone was working at all.

"What is he even doing at a construction site?" asked Dominic as he adjusted his coat so he could sit down. The thing was a tall as he was, with so many pockets inside he could hold half his room in there. "I don't know." Replied Hiela as she straightened her back pack. They weren't going to make it to class today, why in the world did she bring it? "Did he get a job or something? Why didn't he tell us?" Dominic kept asking question after question. All of which were answered by "I don't know." or "Why don't you ask HIM that when we get there?" Carth could feel the rising irritation from the small woman next to him. He decided to intervene before Hiela killed Dominic. "Let's just focus on what we know for sure. We know he asked me to take note for him yesterday, so he had to have planned this. Aside from that, what do we know?" Carth looked around at his friends, he really hoped that they weren't as clueless as he was. "I heard..." Dominic said. "That place is haunted. Actually, I think Joan is the one who told me about it." Now that was lead. "He kept sayin somethin' about demons, or maybe it was monsters. Ya know, urban legends and stuff." Both Carth and Hiela let out a pair of long, suffering sighs. All three of them had dealt with Joan's little obsession before. "What kind of fun does he find in chasing down these rumors anyway?"

The bus bounced as it hit something. There was a 'pop' and the driver was having to work hard to make sure that bus didn't tip over. The sound of metal scraping on asphalt was deafening. "HOLD ON!" the driver yelled as the bus went into the sidewalk. The sound of rending metal and splintering plastics could be heard as it ground into the concrete next to the road. The bus ever so slowly came to a stop halfway off the road. "Shit! Is everyone okay?" Dominic helped Carth get back to his feet. "What did we hit? A bear trap?" Hiela dusted herself off and stepped out of the bus. "There she goes again. Come on Dominic." The pair of friends followed Hiela out of the beached wreck that was once a bus. "Oh God!" What they saw was horrific, a red smear led from the bus to a lump of meat and bones. It was about the size of large dog and it was covered in bony protrusions. Carth was walking over to it before he knew what was going on.

"I-Is it dead?" he heard Dominic ask.

"I don't know, but I plan to find out. Hiela, call animal control. If this thi-" Carth didn't finish his sentence for one very important reason. The thing that they hit had started to move. It got up and started to limp toward the bus. It looked even worse moving, like the love child of the chupacabra and a hyena. It was covered in a wrinkly mottled red hide. It was also almost completely bald, except for a stripe of brown fur down the middle of its head. That same head had twin horns pointing Carth. It's eyes fixed on him, and it started charging. "Oh CRAP!" Halfway through it's charge. Its front legs gave out and it crashed into the ground in front of him. Dominic and Hiela came running beside Carth. Dominic reached into his coat and pulled out a knife of all things. The blade was nearly half a foot long, and one edge was serrated. Just as the thing was getting up again, there was a loud BANG, and its head caved in as the bullet passed through it. Everyone looked behind them to see the bus driver, still holding a handgun. "What? It was obviously rabid, just don't tell the cops that I had this thing alright. I'm getting out of here. They don't pay me enough to deal with crazy animals." With that the driver and the few other people who were in the bus all walked toward the small building that served as a bus stop.

"What the hell is this thing?" Carth was crouched next to the dog like thing. "I don't know, but man is it nasty." Dominic was poking at its side with his knife. "Are we going to talk about the fact you pulled out a weapon from your coat?" Hiela was about 5 feet away from the pair of idiots who were messing with the monstrous thing. "Do you mean to tell me, that in that massive bag you take everywhere, you don't carry anything to defend yourself with?" Dominic sounded absolutely confused. "Well, I have pepper spray." Hiela said indignantly. Both Carth and Dominic looked at her in a way that said 'really?'. "Carth isn't carrying anything!" In response Carth reached into his boots and pulled out a pair of 3 inch blades. "You were saying?" Hiela looked away out of embarrassment, she saw the people from the buss sitting down at the stop. "We should probably go, having to wait around for hours answering the police wouldn't be the most productive use of out time." That was something Carth definitely agreed with. "Hiela, how far away are we from Joan?" This time she was the one giving a look. "Wha- Oh. You can't be- Fine!" Carth couldn't believe she was being a stickler on this! "How far are we from his phone?" Hiela pulled out her phone and started swiping through one of the apps she had on it. "According to this ping, we are about a mile away... guess we should start walking..."

20 minutes and a lot of complaining from Dominic later, they arrived at the construction site. A concrete building, nearly four stories high, loomed before the group. There was trash all over the place as they entered. Old bottles of every shape, size, and color, were strewn about. Some had been smashed and sharp glass littered the floor in many places. There were signs that people had been living here, bed rolls and cardboard boxes were gathered in various corners on the first floor. Despite the lack of work done on the inside, the building was nearly finished. Though, the work of years had given the place a worn down feeling. "Hey Carth, why was this place abandoned again? It looks like solid construction, hell it's better than half the stuff on campus." Carth set down the red stained cloth he had picked up. "I don't know, but I heard it was something about public outrage at where it was being built. I think the city council tore down a church or something to build this place." Hiela rummaged through her backpack and pulled out a flashlight. Shining it at the two of them, she said. "Are you guys going to spout trivia all day, or are we going to find Joan? Come on, my phone says his phone is up." With that she made for the stair well. When she opened the door, she was greeted by pile of bones high enough to mostly block the stairs. There where femers, tibia, hips, and skulls. All of which Carth recognised from his Anatomy classes. They were all human bones. There was a long silence before "Jesus Christ!" came out of Dominic, who then singed the holy cross on his body. "Nope." Hiela closed the door, turned around, and started for the fire escape that sat on the out side of the building. "Nope. Nu uh. Not today." She climbed out the broken window next to the stairwell and then reached for the chain that connected to the pull ladder. Carth and Dominic joined her shortly, "Having a bit of trouble there shortstop?" Hiela hatted being reminded of her height, or lack there of, And both Carth and Dominic knew it. The attempt at a joke seemed to highlight the horror of what they had just seen, instead of distracting from it. Then Dominic, in all his 6 feet of glory, pulled the chain and ladder down with one hand.

The three of them were climbing the ladders and stairs that comprised the fire escape when they heard a blood curdling scream. Suddenly the whole building shook as an earthquake hit the area. A blast of lightning hit the roof of the building just as they were reaching the top of the final ladder. When any of them could see again, what they saw would stick with them for the rest of their lives. There was tear in the air, light was bending around the edge of it and a red barren landscape could be seen through it. They also saw Joan, holding a long bone dagger. Said dagger was also sticking out of the skull of someone belt over an object on the other side of the roof.

"What the HELL IS GOING ON!" Yelled Dominic once again.

Joan turned around. "Oh crap! I can explain later. Right now I need your help killing this guy."

#original fiction #Heaven #Hell #Original Characters

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