#i want to be normal

[saltysatellite804]

How the fuck does everyone NOT have health anxiety. How the fuck do you exist not being hyper aware of how fragile you are??

#health anxiety #im having an anxiety attack rn #my heart is pounding #which is of fucking course making me worry about my heart #i hate my brain #i want to be normal #i want to feel healthy #would not wish this mental illness on the worst human being on earth #its 3am and i really need sleep #but i cant fucking stop worrying that im gonna die young from a undiagnosed disease

[shierie]

i hate myself, why can't my brain work like it works for a neurotypical

#i never learn #my life would be so easier if i didn't have cognitive problems #i want to be normal

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

i am so sick of being alive

idk how to live without getting high , as soon as i have to think or feel anything it’s unbearable

i just don’t have it in me anymore, idk how to dig myself out of this hole

idk how to cope with life anymore and it’s only going to get worse

#i want to die #the only thing #that helps #is weed #i don’t want to do this #i don’t want to just be high #all the time #i want to be normal #and functioning #and happy #i hate this #autism #lonelly #social anxiety #tw vent #actually autistic #bpd #rsd #left behind #tw sui ideation #tw drugs

[double-gs]

TW: Weight issues, ED (tags too, please be aware)

I wish i was skinny. I wish i was able to walk into a store and buy nice clothes for myself that actually look good on me. I wish i was able to walk into a food store just to buy water without overthinking about the fact that people are staring at me and calling me names. I wish i was able to walk around without constantly having a voice in my head telling me people are looking at everything i do and that i look weird when i walk. I wish i was able to scroll on an app without hating myself for not looking like the people on my screen. I wish i was able to go and get food in public by myself without thinking about what other people are probably saying about me. I wish i didn't have to constantly fantasize about being ill so that my body would make me skinnier. I wish that when people saw me, i was a human being and not just the funny friend, the cuddly bear, the replaceable friend, or the giant ugly beast that people love to point at and laugh.

I wish i was skinny cause then i could live and feel like a human and not have to constantly hate myself for not being me.

#im so mental tired from having to constantly think about everything i do #so that people dont see me as a weird person #i want to sleep at night #i want to be normal #i want to be skinny #i want to be skinny to the point of my bones showing and my skin to be as thin as paper #i dont care anymore #i want to be ill #i hate what i look like #just let me be small #let me feel wanted #please

[mirasventhole2536]

I HATE HAVING ANGER ISSUES I HATE THAT I CAN'T FIX IT I HATE HOW NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME I HATE TAKING MY ANGER ON TO PPL I JUST WANT TO BE CALM AND NORMAL FOR ONCE

#vent #vent blog #i just want it to stop #im stressed #i am sorry #anger issues #anger problems #anger #i feel like shit #i want to be normal #i want to be calm

[xx-katisnothere-xx]

IM SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING AUTISTIC. IM SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE A TODDLER ALL THE FUCKING TIME. IM SO SICK OF BEING UNABLE TO FORM NORMAL ADULT RELATIONSHIPS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT. IM SO SICK OF BEING THE WAY I AM. THE WAY I AM IS WRONG. THE WAY I AM IS DIFFERENT. THE WAY I AM IS DEFECTIVE. I JUST WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

I miss the way people USED to speak to me. I used to be so mature for my age, people treated me like a little adult. Now all of a sudden I get spoken to like I’m a toddler??? WHAT DID I DO WRONG??? Oh wait I know what I did wrong! I WAS BORN AUTISTIC. I HAVE CHILDISH INTERESTS. I HAVE MELTDOWNS. I CANT DO NORMAL THINGS LIKE DRIVE A FUCKING CAR OR LIVE ON MY OWN LIKE A NORMAL PERSON MY AGE. I STRUGGLE WITH THINKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. I CANT BE A NORMAL PERSON. I CANT EVEN MASK WELL ENOUGH. IM SO SICK OF IT ALLLLLLL…

#i’m just mad #and I fucking hate that my dad tell ALLL OF MY CO WORKERS about my personal life. MIND YOUR FUCKING BUISNESS DICKHEAD. #I just want to be treated like a normal person. #I wanna be neurotypical so fucking bad #I hate myself so much #I was handed a paper at work with all the things I need to get done and it was written like it it was for a 4 year old #i’m so frustrated #I just wanna be like everyone else #i want to be normal #autistic adult #autism experience #rant post #vent post #angry #i’m so fucking pissed #im pmsing #autism #internalized ableism #internalized shame

[feedingonthegoore]

I wish I could share but I can't

#i want to be normal

[unlovablereject]

I hate myself for things I can not control.

Why does everything and everyone feel so foreign? Like, I've landed on another planet...

I don't belong here.

All I've wanted to do was fit in and speak the language. Learn the culture.

I can't.

I can't make my body and mouth move like everyone else.

I don't fit in anywhere...

I wasn't born, I landed.

In a world I don't understand.

#autism #bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd splitting #bpd thoughts #autism thoughts #i want to be normal #vent #bpd vent #autism vent #another planet #im an alien #i feel alien #i dont belong...

[dont-go-down-that-rabbit-hole]

Some days being autistic feels like a superpower. Seeing things that others don’t and understanding things that might not occur to others. But some days it feels like a disability, because others won’t see and understand the things going on in my brain and others that are different.

Today it felt like both, both as intense as each other. While I was zooming around and caring for other humans I was falling apart. I could tell that all my colleagues couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just stand up for myself. Why I couldn’t stop crying. Why everything was so overwhelming for me.

I wish someone told me earlier in life that I’m just never gonna fit in.

#personal #autistic adult #i want to be normal

[depression-permanent]

I’m bursting at the seams with feeling overwhelmed, underwhelmed, and full of self hatred.

#personal #4n4 #i hate my mind #i hate myself #i want a perfect body #i want a perfect soul #lmao #I want to be better #i want to be normal

[bunn-iiii]

I feel like I'm getting worse every year

#i feel like I'm losing everything at the moment #one day i will won't be able to do these things #i didn't think I'd loose all of the things i like to do so eary #i planned that my teens and 20s would be full of doing things and that i would have so many experiences #not that i would be in so much pain physically and mentally #i didn't plan for my teen years to be spent wishing i had the ability to do so many more things #but I'm just getting worse #things are getting worse #i have so little engery to do things now #and I'm only 15 #what happens when I'm in my 30s? #will i still feel this way or will it be even worse? #and why can no doctor figure out what's wrong with me #only brush me off and say it's growing pains or a part of my medication or something #i want to go to camp #i have been wanting to go to CIT camp for over a year now #but i can never muster up enough fucking energy to go #i want to be normal #i want to be able to do things #i don't want to be exhausted all the time #i fucking hate everything about myself and that i just cant #no meds help #my parents and doctors brush it off as other things that shouldn't effect me this much #I'm tired of it #i want to know what's wrong with me so i can start to help it #but no one can fucking tell me #i want to go home but i am home #i want to go back to when i was 12 and i was able to do so much even in pain #i want to go back #tw vent

[house-of-slayterr]

I was sleepy but I had to connect to fluids for the night. So I had to drag my ass out of bed and into the bathroom to set all this shit up. I mean it only takes about 10 mins but still. I’m over it…

#fang rambles #sleepy #sleepy fang #chronic illness #disabled #disability #I want to be normal #thanks i hate it

[quieroserunasandia]

Viernes 13 de Mayo del 2022.

A veces me gusta sentir lástima de mi misma.

Comparó mi vida con la de las demás personas que me rodean.

Tienen vidas, tienen problemas, tienen trabajo, les gusta salir, pueden llorar, pueden reír, tienen afecto físico y emocional...

Y, es ahí, cuando me pongo a pensar ¿ En que momento me volví tan diferente a ellos? ¿ Por qué no puedo ser como ellos?

Yo también quiero reír, llorar y sentir.

Me da lastima todo lo que la persona que puedo llegar a ser en un futuro se está perdiendo...

#depressing shit #kinda depressing #realidad #cansancio #odio ser asi #deep feelings #deep quotes #keep going #tristeza #me siento solo #me siento sola #diferentes #sentimientos #me siento insuficiente #i feel sad #im trying #daily #i just wanna sleep #i want to be loved #i want to be normal

[mantecol]

I'm nervous but at the same time I'm excited cause today is surgery check list day and we're going to go through my medical history to see if I need the kidney removal or not

#IM EXCITED #i WANT TO BE NORMAL #.txt

[attex]

do you want to kill urself when someone youre attracted to expresses their sexuality (completely normal thing to do) or are you normal

#hexatxt #suicide ment #dude what the fuck is wrong with me i just want this shit to stop happening . just hte thought of it disturbs me so often . #i want to be NORMAL #suicide tw

[leanfruit]

been looking into attachment styles lately, think I have an anxious / disorganized attachment style. Now I just need to learn how to fix it bc I hate being like this. Specifically with anyone I really like that isn't %100 chipper all of the time and predictable and I'm constantly afraid of not being good enough to keep their interest or of making them mad.

Its happening right now where last night I was texting with chris and said something that may have mildly annoyed him + the fact that he never calls me and I have so much anxiety over it. Like the kind that ruins your whole mood and day. Im afraid that was the last straw and he's going to distance himself even more and cut ties to never speak or see me again. It's ridiculous and i hate being like this.

#i want to be NORMAL #.txt