#i was actually a youth pastor for a little bit

[deoidesign]

i just realized theyre named adam and steve. i need to go to bed

My dad is a pastor and I named them during church, fun fact

#if i had a dollar for every time someone said this to me maybe id be able to start saving for retirement LOL #no seriously i think its cute #its interesting to me the range of when people recognize it #reminds me the bubble i live in #uh. but yeah its like the 'not adam and steve' saying #i was like well. they ARE adam and Steve. #i was actually a youth pastor for a little bit #wild time #im not a Christian now #delete later #asks #anon

[jessicalprice]

So I've spent a lot of time untangling Christian exegesis of parables and talking about how the way Christians interpret parables almost always ends up being antisemitic.

But aside from how it makes them think about Jews and Judaism and Jewishness, I also want to talk a bit about how it makes them sympathize more with abusers than with victims.

The easy-to-point-to culprit here is the trilogy of parables that culminates in what most Christians know as the Prodigal Son story.

The common interpretation of these parables is that God does (and therefore Christians should) value a repentant sinner over someone who's never sinned.

The problem here isn't the stories themselves--they're pretty enigmatic as far as their actual meanings--but Luke's gloss:

"Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."

(Mark says, "So it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost," which is very different.

So on its face, in 2023, that's a blatantly dangerous, abuser-supporting belief. What is it like to be a child sexually abused by your youth pastor and to hear that the fact that he hurt you is part of what makes him somehow spiritually "better" than you?

And we can see it play out in the way Kevin M. Young, a popular progressive pastor on Twitter (who describes himself as "post-evangelical" and was the senior pastor at a Quaker congregation) responded to being told one of his tweets was antisemitic, and then jumped in to support a woman who responded by identifying herself as a fan of John Chrysostom (the literal author of "Against the Jews" and the most antisemitic of the Church Fathers, which is saying something).

I'm not going to transcribe the whole thing, because it's not all that important for what I have to say about this, but I am going to call out a few lines:

"The American Christian approach to t'shuvah sees the victim's spirit, character, and speech as equally important to the offenders. I.e. in Christendom, the victim can exceed the sin of the offender simply by their reaction (if it be in sin or acted in a way that is not Spirit led)."

So, to be clear, if someone assaults you, and you don't meekly forgive them in a "Spirit led" way, you're somehow worse than they are.

The uniquely Christian brain rot here is in seeing every sin as an opportunity for forgiveness. After all, if being a repentant sinner gives you a higher spiritual status--if there's more "rejoicing in Heaven" over you--than that of your victim, then you have to sin to get there. It treats other people as props in your salvation journey, not as fellow humans whose suffering matters. (Combine that with the Christian idea that suffering is somehow virtuous in and of itself, and you've got a very toxic recipe. Not only, by abusing others, are you guaranteeing your own value as a repentant sinner, but you're giving your victim the opportunity to ennoble themselves through suffering.)

Of course, a key word here is repentant. Put a pin in that.

These sort of exchanges on Twitter--a Christian being outright genocidal toward Jews, and a supposedly progressive Christian figure jumping in to defend the Christian, with seemingly no ability to comprehend that the Jews in the conversation are human beings who may have their own trauma around violently antisemitic language, with boundless empathy for the Christian abuser and none for the Jewish targets of their abuse--happen frequently and just as frequently leave Jwitter baffled in addition to angry.

Why all this empathy for the abuser and none for the victims?

I think a lot of this comes out of progressive Christian exegesis of parables, which is frequently looking for the radical "twist" to the story.

E.g. in the story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, the assumption is that the audience of the time would have empathized with the Pharisee, and thus the twist is to make them empathize with the tax collector. In the story of the Good Samaritan, the assumption is that they would have seen the Samaritan as a threat, and the twist is to make him the hero.

The thinking goes that the audience would have had empathy for certain groups and none for others, so the stories push them to feel that empathy for the latter, and that this was needed to balance the scales, to make sure everyone was receiving love and empathy and care.

Except that this, in modernity, has the effect of simply reversing the roles, not balancing them. The groups that are assumed to be in good social standing get no empathy, even become the implicit villains, and the groups (supposedly, since this is now a Christian-dominant society) traditionally looked down on get all of it.

That might still be a balancing act if the "looked down on" groups were actually marginalized. But in the Christian imagination, that role is filled by sinners in need of Christian grace, not necessarily demographically marginalized groups.

The idea seems to be that the victims are getting sympathy from elsewhere, so it's the Christian's job to make sure the abuser/sinner gets sympathy too.

But I'll point again to that pesky word "repentant."

Ultimately, when it comes to treatment of Jews and Muslims and anyone else who points out that a Christian has in some way harmed them, Christian sympathy goes immediately to the offender before the offender has even expressed any repentance.

The repentant sinner is so much more valuable, at this point, than their victims that they must be preemptively forgiven, that they are more valuable purely because they now have the potential to repent.

And this seems to be lurking under not just how "progressive" pastors act on Twitter, but in a lot of our cultural narratives around, say, college rapists and their futures, around white people who are publicly called out for racist acts, etc.

#jumblr #tshuvah #christian forgiveness culture

[hyukabean]

hwang hyunjin as your bf (headcanons)

req – for my youth pastor simp <3 @yejiimg

nana's notes – speed wrote this cause inspo <3 all my other wips are… eh not happy with them yet

warning(s) – does jealousy count??

unedited.

how you met .｡.:*☆

i feel like you’d meet through lily, hear me out

nmixx is still a rookie group, and the budget is definitely a lot lower than some of the big names under jype

they can’t really afford to always pay staff full time, so they decided to hire a bunch of interns, for much less pay ofc

being a college student though, you don’t mind, and decide to take the job!

being able to speak english with lily would definitely make her feel more at ease when she’s stressed and so on

with time, y’all become besties~

you’ll wait for her after she’s done working, and sooner rather than later, you become a known face

felix invites her out for boba one day, and she takes you with her cause why not?

a few months in, i can also see you getting close to the skz aussie line, even if you don���t constantly hang out (cause jypapi’s got chan in his dungeon-)

hyunjin needed inspo for his new painting, and so felix is, “hey, meet my friend, they’re kinda cool”

and hyunjin’s like?????? no???????????

but ofc he end up saying yes anyways

ngl bby would be hella awkward and shy. but not like the stuttering mess, more like the o-o, i’m watching you

lily would just laugh awkwardly, and continue speaking to you

trying to “ignore” him, you do the same

but then he’s like !! woah. they’re kinda pretty… and look at their shiny eyes… oh and the lines when they smile

jinnie would def start drawing without even noticing.

by the end of it, you all just kind of part ways, not having gotten much closer

he’d ask felix for your number though, and send you the sketch with a lil, ‘sry about last time… but, can i draw u again?’

ofc you’re super flattered and agree *cue felix and lily evil chuckling*

it would take a long time for him to trust, and get close to you, but after your there, you’re in

it would genuinely just be friendship at first, but when your birthday rolls around and he sticks a letter and a painting of you in your hands before leaving?

yeah, you’re definitely in-in now. (that’s what she said-)

pros .｡.:*☆

okay, 100% the pet name privileges

he’s not suuuper affectionate with the other members, save for felix, so when he starts doing little things like: calling you princess, feeding you, actually texting you back, no one knows how to respond

hyunjin is definitely a secret hopeless romantic, and so it’s no surprise that he draws inspiration from romantic things, aka, you <3

def has lil sketches of you laying around

constantly takes secret candid pictures of you, and re-drawing them, knowing full well he’ll never be able to encapsulate all of your beauty

free dance lessons. he would offer to teach you anything.

loves seeing you have fun <3 loves seeing you (full stop)

tbh he’d cringe a bit if you’re awkward, but would also lovingly guide you, recounting all the steps for you~

by far the #1 hyunjin bf privilege is getting to back hug him and getting forehead kisses as a thank you

no matter who’s around, how tall you are, how much you weigh, if you’ve got acne or not, none of it matters.

tldr. bby’s a major simp for you <3

last but not least, you get all of his hoodies. it gets to a point where, if you’re not wearing something matching, he straight up just makes you wear his clothes, no questions asked

but don’t you dare tease him about it, he’ll ignore you for a solid 3 hours straight

affection gets it’s own section muahahah

cons .｡.:*☆

jealousy. though it’s not allllways a bad thing. it can get pretty rough. essentially, there’s two types:

1) the ‘cute’ jealous

hyunjin’s english is pretty good, but his confidence isn’t always the highest (which it definitely should be wtf-)

so he does get a bit :< seeing you and felix, or lily talk so freely with each other

and though, again, he understands, he can’t always respond

so, whenever he’s put in that situation, he sulks and goes to his room

which in itself isn’t reeeaally an issue, but communication definitely something he needs to work on in a relationship

anyways, you sneak after him one day, and find him studying english using text books:(

ofc you confront him and you’re like ??? why didn’t you ask me:(( and he’s like :(((((( sry bby

2) the ‘not so cute’ jealous

as mature as i think hyunjin is, he’s not always open to talking about what bothers him

this would often lead to petty arguments, empty but hurtful words, or just radio silence.

often the members would try and help, but controlling his jealousy when he sees you with someone else, or doing something, whatever it may be, is something he should fix

and he’s well aware of it.

this wouldn’t be a problem too too often

but once it’s there, it’s there

once you reassure him over and over and over again, and he realizes it’s really his insecurities that fuel this arguments, he’d better himself

getting there takes a while though

affection .｡.:*☆

as for affection..:

i think it’s goes one of two ways

either his s/o is also a ‘tsundere’, or they’re super affectionate

if they’re the former, he’d would 100% get along with them

they’d get the feeling of not wanting to be touched 24/7 but not minding it from time to time

though if they’re equally as prideful as his is, you’ll need to compromise on who asks first

overall though 10/10 would love someone similar to him

if they’re suuuper affectionate… they’ll need to tread on eggshells for a while

not because he doesn’t love them, but just because he’s someone who doesn’t feel the need to be touchy all the time

when he’s in that mood, he’s 1000000% going at it, kisses hugs everything

but when he’s not, he needs space (back it up bestie)

again, you’ll need to compromise

either way, you’ve seen him around felix, he wouldn’t ever leave you touch starved;)

habits / miscellaneous .｡.:*☆

playing w/ your fingers cause they’re pretty

giving you head pats cause he likes telling you you’ve done well without actually having to say it

would give you a promise ring <3

hyunjin would love having you sleep over

it’s here the affection side of him would come out the most

he’d leech on to you, and just mwahmwahmwah in his sleep

also would watch you sleep if he woke up first (…that sounded a lot less weird in my head-)

over all, 10/10 would recommend to a friend;)

© hyukabean all rights reserved. - do not translate my work, claim it as your own, and/or repost on any platform

#[📁] – nana’s files #skz headcanons #stray kids headcanons #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin #Hyunjin headcanons #stray kids x reader #bf headcanons #skz x reader #headcanons #kpop headcanons #lee felix #lily #nmixx #fluff #angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

[enby-wrights]

(warning i do not understand how tumblr works i have been on here for like two months and gathered absolutely nothing so i apologize if i did something wrong with like tags and the like? also i think i kind of sound like a youth pastor towards the end of this but it’s okay i do what i want. anyways)

greetings marble hornets fanbase i just have some (long) thoughts to share on tim and alex :) i have some Mental Health Hot Takes that are not worded well because i wrote this at one in the morning but feel free to read anyways. also i know that the marble hornets mental illness allegory conversation has been done to death but please let me throw in my two cents i am just a little guy and i even said please

in all my six long years traversing the Deep Dark Depths of the marble hornets fanbase, i’ve never been all that interested in exploring any kind of close relationship between alex and tim within the story-- i think 2006 alex comes off as a bit desperate and overbearing, and i think that would have made 2006 tim a little too anxious to attempt to get close to him. it’s just interesting to think that they wouldn’t quite fit together at the only point in their lives where they would have had the chance.

their position in the overall story as narrative foils to one another, however........... now that’s a tasty character dynamic if i do say so myself :) although essentially all of season three revolves around the conflicts between people as they react to the mental illness metaphor operator in their own Fun And Unique ways, alex and tim are undoubtedly the poster children of this concept. both of them begin dealing with almost identical issues, and their reactions to these issues shape their individual narratives in completely opposite directions. i was thinking about it while listening to the podcast great, more tapes today (which if you haven’t listened to it i totally recommend it even though it has been dead for a year) and it’s kind of a really great allegory for the ways in which people’s reactions to experiences with mental illness can either make or break our recovery. as someone who has intentionally made my own recovery worse on multiple occasions out of general manic faux edginess, the parallels kind of hit me really hard

i’m gonna highlight the differences between alex and tim’s reactions to the mental illness metaphor operator using a bullet point list because i’m autistic and all of my thoughts occur in bullet point lists actually

during the filming of alex kralie’s marble hornets, as their symptoms are both beginning to set in, we see alex alone incredibly often. tim, on the other hand, is always seen surrounded by other people (this also comes down to the contexts in which they were filming but whatever it’s artistic framing or something idk)

tim seeks medical attention. duh. i think it’s probably pretty safe to assume that alex did not seek any sort of medical attention for his mental health issues leading up to all that murder, otherwise there maybe wouldn’t have been murder

aside from seeking medical help, we also see tim seeking help (or at least visibility) from his peers. entry #66 is just tim yelling at jay about how scared he is. and even if jay isn’t really much help, he can at least see where tim is coming from in the future and has the opportunity to act accordingly (he does not take this opportunity but hey at least it’s there. as alex’s condition worsens, all we see is him lying to his loved ones about what’s going on. which is bad.

alex constantly walks in anger and fear. tim doesn’t stifle his emotions (i.e. him beating the shit out of jay), but he also acts logically and doesn’t dwell on them for too long

by season three alex is just fucking living all alone in the woods (which if you didn’t know is the opposite of seeking help)!! not only is he running around in an echo chamber but he chose to bring a gun into the echo chamber with him which is a really great way to become more mentally ill. tim on the other hand has a job, and a life, and people in his life who at least care enough about him to call him and see if he’ll be at work on time. he keeps busy and he interacts with the world around him and even when he’s having to constantly check in with his doctor to make sure he stays okay he is out and about and being a person

and it’s a weird thing to think about because when i’m at my worst psychologically i tend to bring a (METAPHORICAL) gun into my own echo chamber and sulk around in there until i start to believe some pretty shitty things about the world around me

but on the few occasions where i do manage to reach for help and respect my feelings while still existing outside myself it’s a miraculous feeling. i get better. and then i get worse again, because mental illness is a bitch, but it gets easier and easier to reach out every time.

and i think that’s part of the reason why alex gets eaten up by the idea of the operator while tim doesn’t. tim has experience with getting help, and he’s clearly developed a skill for taking care of himself. he just got lucky that his first time dealing with a mental health crisis wasn’t as fucked up as alex’s.

anways tldr alex kralie is my new example for what not to do in my mental health recovery journey also he’s a bitch 

(ps i don’t understand how i got to the end of this rant without mentioning masky a single time but i promise he fits into the mental illness allegory somewhere probably maybe)

#marble hornets #alex kralie #tim wright

[capturethechaos]

In collaboration with - @earthlysorrows

Masterlist

Josh Kiszka x Reader x Jake Kiszka

Words - 4.8k

Warnings - 18+ONLY, explicit sexual content, NSFW, smut, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

a/n - Happy Halloween from me and Madi! Enjoy this little treat ♡

“How did you two convince me to do this costume… and at a youth event no less.” You had already readjusted your costume more times than you could count since the twins picked you up from your apartment.

Jake opened the car door for you and you stood from your seat, feeling the cool October air cut through the thin fabric of your skirt. You could see the all too familiar baby blue VW Beetle, parked in its usual spot. As the three of you approached the door of the church, you heard the car door open and shut. You all turned and watched as Abigail practically skipped over to you. Her gaze passed over you quickly, and lit up when she saw Josh. You turned around, rolling your eyes and catching Jake's gaze. He smirked before quickly greeting Abigail and shuffling into the church, and you were hot on his heels.

Oddly enough no one even thought twice about your costume choice when you walked through the front door of the church. The black dress laid right upon your knee caps, while your black knee high socks only left a few inches of skin exposed. Josh reached his arm up to adjust your black veil that connected to a white headband.

In return of the favor, you playfully readjusted Josh’s halo, ruffling up his hair a bit in the process. Jake took notice and gave a firm whip to your ass with the long red trishul in his fist. The noise was louder than you all expected it to be and in return Abigail swung her head around. “Can you guys at least act like adults? Is it not enough that your costumes are sacrilegious? You have to act like buffoons too?”

“Well Abigail, Pastor Kiszka actually said our outfits were just fine as long as we didn’t make a mockery of them.” It took everything in you not to forcefully roll your eyes, but instead you had a smile adorning your face.

“Well you’re on the borderline of doing so.” She glanced over at Josh and her expression softened. “I don’t have to worry about you, you’re always an angel.”

It was only getting harder and harder for you not to say something to her, as you watched her fawning over Josh’s little wings, you opened your mouth, and were quickly cut off by the sound of people barreling through the door of the church.

Jake was the first to turn around, a chuckle coming from him as his eyes landed on Sam and Danny. You closely followed, turning yourself around fully to see them. Sam and Danny were both wearing red onesies, and a bag that you hoped contained two blue wigs, as their onesies each had a print on the front. “Thing one and thing two, how fitting.”

The six of you made your way into the sanctuary, bags of supplies bundled in your arms as you entered. Slowly the youth members trickled into the sanctuary, each one dressed up in their own costumes.

It took a while for everyone to arrive, and a surprisingly short amount of time to get all of the kids in line and ready to go. You and Jake were at the back of the line, watching as Josh led the group towards the bus. Sam and Danny turned back to look at you and Jake as they walked to the door, waving at you to join them. “We’re just gonna make sure everything is in order here, turn off lights and lock doors. Get the kids settled on the bus, we’ll be out soon.”

You quietly made your way back into the sanctuary, picking up the small pieces of garbage that the kids left on the floor. The feeling of Jake's hand brushing along your spine startled you as you dumped the garbage into the bin, and as you turned to face him, the expression on his face told you exactly what he was thinking. “We need to leave, Jake, there’s no time.”

His hands took hold of your waist, moving you back until you bumped into the small table beside the sanctuary doors. “I’ll be quick, angel. Let me take care of you.”

He lifted you to sit on the table, his palms brushing along your thighs until they reached the edge of your dress, and moving back up, pulling the fabric up with them.

“There’s nothing to take care of, Jake. We need to go before-“ You were interrupted by the brushing of his knuckles against your barely covered core.

“Please tell me this is the red set, angel.” His voice was breathy as he leaned towards you, his lips brushing against your own. You nodded, your faces centimeters apart as he teased you, his thumb brushing over the delicate lace of your panties.

He smirked as he pulled your panties to the side. “Dirty girl, I thought you said there wasn’t anything to take care of.”

The sensation pulled a gasp from your lungs, your head falling back against the wall as you spoke. “There isn’t.”

“No?” His tone was taunting as he slowly dragged his middle and ring finger along your slit, rubbing a slow circle over your clit before lifting his hand between the two of you, presenting his fingers, both completely covered in your arousal. “What’s this then?”

Your cheeks grew inflamed with embarrassment by just how quickly you were exposed. It was something about seeing Jake, in a crimson suit that was so form fitting you could see the muscles of his thigh peaking through, that had been driving you mad.

“What makes you think all that was for you?” You leaned forward now, playing along with Jake’s game, your lips only centimeters away from his face. “Come on now… What makes you so sure, Jakey?”

You were so busy teasing him, that you failed to realize Jake was lowering his hand back between your legs. So when you uttered that belittling nickname towards him, he responded with just a thrust of his two center fingers inside of you. A sharp exhale had your chest rising rapidly and that was followed by a deep moan as your neck bent backwards.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d moan like that, since it wasn’t me you were dripping for.” He curled his fingers upwards, pulling them back out ever so slowly. “Unless… You’d like to protest a little more. I’m happy to keep everyone waiting.”

As much as you wanted to fight and say he was wrong, he wasn’t. A part of you knew that if there wasn’t a bus filled with kids waiting on you you’d be stripping him of that suit and having him in every way possible. “Don’t stop.”

He hummed from deep in his throat, “That’s what I thought angel… Mind if I get a little taste?” He flashed you a smirk as he lowered his body and pushed you to lean as far against the wall as you could, forcing your ass to fall back upon it. He lowered his head between your legs, your thighs gently squishing his cheeks as he wiggled his head to reach further up. It wasn’t long before you felt the warmth of his tongue take a long swipe up your cunt, his cheeks hollowing out once his mouth reached your clit.

Jake’s caramel eyes flashed up towards yours as he continued to let his tongue adventure across your folds. Once situated on his knees his arms looped up and around your thighs, pulling them apart ever so slightly so he could press his face deeper against you.

“Fucking Christ Jake…” The words fell from your lips before you could even process what you were saying and it was almost inaudible with how intensely Jake was working his mouth around your clit. You were throbbing, as Jake flicked and sucked upon the bud with such passion and with seemingly no need for oxygen.

His fingers pressed deep against your hips, the skin curling inwards against his fingernails. He used that leverage to pull your hips forward, pushing you back only seconds later. He gave your thigh a soft tap, and when you began rolling your own hips against his face you could feel his hum vibrate against your pussy.

Your core was burning and you could feel your cunt dripping for Jake, that mixed with the addition of his saliva had the room echoing with evidence of the events taking place. Not once had Jake asked for a breath of air, and even now as you rocked your hips down upon his face you could feel him taking shallow breaths through his nose. Every time you rocked forward he would slip his tongue inside of you, rolling slightly before it pulled out and reattached itself to your swollen clit.

“P-please don’t stop Jake. Please.” You beg, feeling the rubber band in your stomach growing tighter by the second. Jake not only listened, but reinvited his middle two fingers inside of your pussy. He rolled them alongside you in rhythm with his lips and in seconds you were hitting your release. Your body tensed and tried its hardest to get away from the sensation that was now overwhelming, but the hand that was still wrapped around your thigh pulled you down harder against his suctioning lips.

“FUC-” You nearly screamed in the empty room, your own word interrupted by a string of moans that followed suit.

Josh had been walking down the hallway, making sure the two of you hadn’t been murdered with now long it was taking for you to check over the church. The children were getting antsy and Abigail was getting handsy, so Josh took it upon himself to make sure everything was okay. He was only a few steps away from the door when he heard your scream, and he wasn’t able to stop his hand from pressing the door open. Jake’s back was the first thing he saw, and he stood there with his arms crossed as he let you enjoy your moment.

When your high was over, you let all of your weight fall upon Jake’s face and he was kind enough to hold you in that position for a while. He gave a soft kiss to your nub before standing on his feet again. That’s when you could see it. How his mouth, nose and cheeks glistened with your mixture in the slim amount of light that was radiating through Josh’s opened door.

Jake went to wipe his face with the sleeve of his suit and as he did so he turned around to help escort you out, only instead of an empty room he was greeted by the sight of his twin. Standing there with his arms crossed, Josh scoffed in disappointment.

“I could hear you two from all the way down the hall. You’re lucky it was ME that insisted on making sure the two of you were alive. Can we get going now?” He didn’t wait for you as he turned around to head back down the hallway, but he also didn’t miss the smirk that Jake gave in response to his soap box.

The smugness Jake felt dimmed only slightly as he watched you speed walk to catch up with Josh, brushing your hand against his when you fell into step with him. Abby was less than impressed when she got booted to the back of the bus with Sam and Danny, leaving you and Josh in the first seat, and Jake with Sandy on the bench across from you.

As the bus pulled out of the parking lot, and the kids erupted into their own conversations, you felt the warmth of Josh’s breath against your ear. “We’ll talk about it later, angel.”

His hand quickly brushed over your thigh, giving it a small squeeze before retreating as he turned to join Jake and Sandy’s conversation about the best candies to get on Halloween.

You spent the majority of your time at the corn maze fawning over Josh, though you wouldn’t openly admit to it. The youth members were separated into three smaller groups, each with two leaders. You and Josh lead 5 of the younger kids, meaning you got to watch Josh help the kids solve riddles to figure out which direction to go in, all the while Sandy kept a death grip on his hand so that she wouldn’t get left behind.

Both Sam and Danny, and Jake and Abigail had groups of four kids. As they all made their way through the maze, you could pretty much hear where Sam and Danny’s group were at any given moment.

Your group was the second to exit the maze, only a few minutes behind Sam and Danny’s, and it was another five minutes before you saw Jake and Abigail’s group leave the maze. Abigail was at the front of the group, her arms crossed in front of her, quickly followed by the rowdy kids, and Jake, who was laughing along with two of the oldest youth members.

The six of them joined the rest of you at the campfire, and you let your gaze travel back to Josh, who was telling Sandy about something, you had only heard snippets of the conversation, so it really just sounded like gibberish, but you were entranced by the soft glow the fire was casting on Josh’s face, lighting up his already dazzling smile.

Jake didn’t fail to notice your admiration towards Josh, instead he was rather hyper fixated on it. He wanted nothing more than for you to glance over at him with the same puppy love eyes you were gifting Joshua, yet instead he had to listen to Abigail go on and on about the history of scarecrows.

“You know… One time, there were a group of kids sitting around a fire just like this one…” Danny started, holding his phone’s flashlight from under his chin. You, Josh and Jake all swung your heads around to listen to Danny's story as the children balled themselves up as tightly as physically possible. “It was then they realized… That Youth Pastor Joshua forgot the marshmallows at church!”

Everyone gasped and turned towards Josh who was holding his hands up into the air. “I have them! Look!” From behind his back he pulled out the bag of marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers. It didn’t take long before everyone was roasting up their sugary desserts, you knew their parents would appreciate it all once their kids were at home.

Time seemed to fly by as you all laughed and told stories around the fire, but once nine o'clock hit you were all loading back into the bus and on your way to the church filled with parents awaiting their child's return. One by one you ensured everyone got home safely, until it was just you, Josh and Jake in the parking lot surrounding their car.

By the time you had made it back to the twins apartment, Jake had fallen into his late night dissociative state, walking past you and Josh to trudge into his bedroom.

Josh pulled off his shoes and dropped his keys beside the door before scooping you up into his arms and walking towards his bedroom. You graciously wrapped yourself around him, nuzzling your nose into the bare skin of his neck, inhaling the warm scent the fire left behind on his skin.

“You can let go now, angel, you're above my bed.” Josh loosened his grip on you, and you did the same, letting yourself fall back onto his soft mattress. You felt him grab your leg, and sat up, a curious look on your face as your gaze locked onto him. He gently undid the lace of your shoe before pulling it off and tossing towards his bedroom door. He did the same with the other before finally looking at you.

“So, angel, tell me…” He wrapped his hands around your legs, pulling you to the edge of the bed, looking down at you. One of his hands released your leg from his grip, lifting to brush along your cheek, eventually resting beneath your chin, his thumb gliding along your bottom lip. “Who’s better with their mouth?”

Your eyes widened at his comment “To be honest…” You dragged out the sentence, pressing your head harder against his hand. “I may need a refresher from you, if you want a real answer.”

He grinned at your answer, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “Anything for my angel.”

He pulled away from you just enough to take your hands in his own and pull you to a standing position. The head pieces of your costume had been removed the second the last youth member walked through the door at the end of the night, so all that was left was the dress, and the black knee high socks. His hands travelled to the edge of the dress, taking the hem in his grasp and slowly lifting until you had to lift your arms, allowing him to pull it off of you.

He took a step back, leaving you to feel the cool air of his bedroom as his eyes traversed over the delicate lace of your lingerie. “Such a beautiful woman. How did I ever get so lucky?”

He chuckled at the blush that blossomed over your chest, all the way to your nose. “Alright, lay down, head up at the pillows, get comfortable, sweetheart.”

You were all too eager to get into position as you kicked the sheets below you to move up until your head was right beneath his headboard. The socks didn’t offer any help as your feet kept sliding from beneath you, yet you eventually laid there waiting for him, legs already spread wide apart anticipating what was to come.

You watched with bated breath as he stepped towards the bed, his knees hitting the edge as he watched you squirm. He slowly undid his white button up shirt, pulling it from its tucked position in his pants and letting it fall from his shoulders, leaving him in just his pants, and the halo he had been wearing all night. “I hope you plan on keeping that on.”

He furrowed his brow at your comment, clearly confused, until you pointed to the top of his head and his hand went up, feeling the fluffy white halo adorned above his unruly curls. “Just for you, angel.” He smirked back at you, sending you a wink as he finally climbed onto the bed. “But in return, you’ve got to take off those pretty panties of yours for me.”

You did as he asked, sliding the panties as far as you could frown your legs until you could no longer reach, and Josh slid them the rest of the way for you, tossing them in the general direction of his laundry hamper.

He didn’t have to push your legs much further open as he rested on his belly below you. Unlike Jake, Josh sat there and admired you. He ran his thumb across your inner thigh, moving it agonizingly slow towards your core. The soft pad of his digit gently traced your labia, flipping it back and forth as he spread your arousal around to watch it glisten. His thumb continued to explore before he sank it down inside of you for a short time until it was pulled back out.

The gleam was too enticing, so he slowly slipped the digit between his lips and savored the taste of you. “My God, Angel…” He cooed, now rubbing his saliva across your clit. The feather-like motions were driving you insane but when you tried to push down upon his thumb his free hand stopped you from moving.

“Josh…” The murmur drew his attention up towards you, and with the faintest of smiles he just nodded his head before becoming enchanted by your core again. You remained forbearing, as he leaned forward to let his lips press soft kisses around your pussy but once his warm lips touched your clit the sensation was otherworldly. He had hardly touched you yet but you could feel how slick you had become.

“Watch me.” Josh demanded, and waited until your eyes met his before he flattened his tongue and licked against your opening. Gently, he pulled his head away and watched as your arousal created a thin bridge from your entrance to his mouth. He let his tongue fall forward, gathering as much as possible before closing his mouth and swallowing. “I love how wet you get for me, angel. Were you this wet for him?”

In response, you shook your head side to side which encouraged Josh to press his lips firm against your nub, giving it gentle suction. You could feel his tongue working laps around it and each and every time it flicked against your clit your thighs flinched around his cheeks.

Joshs’ right hand snaked upwards to grab ahold of your breast, his other looped around your thigh to hold firmly against your hip. His thumb tenderly ran across your aroused nipple and his tongue mimicked the actions. You were overstimulated to say the least, and the only thing your body could think to do was to throw your head back and arch your spine upwards against his lips. It was unexpected, when the new position of your hips allowed for his halo to brush against your stomach, but something about the stimulation of the soft touch had your hands fisting the sheets for stability.

Josh looked up towards you, before looking upwards towards his halo and a grin took over his lips. “You like that?”

You whined as the chilled bedroom air cooled your saliva soaked pussy, and your eyes shot open to look down upon him. “I liked it. Before you stopped.”

“Now now… Patience is a virtue.” Josh teased, sitting up and off of the bed. You could see the imprint of his cock through the thin material of his white pants and every gland in your mouth began to water. He shuffled his way to his closet, rummaging through his options before turning around with one of his Sunday’s best white ties. “And it’s my job as the Pastor’s son. To teach you the importance of patience.” He approached you once more, only this time he sat beside you and let his hand loop behind your head. Gently raising you from the pillow.

He carefully let his hands work behind your head to tie the fabric around your eyes, and once it was locked in place you felt vulnerable. He wasn’t touching you, you could only feel the soft fabric below your bare ass, until the soft tickle of his halo fell upon your inner thigh. Below that tickle was the warm suction of a kiss. The feathers traveled up your side only this time without the kisses following in its path. There was a pause, before the delicate downs returned upon your hardened nipples. What took you by surprise however, was that his lips were pressed against your cunt once again.

You could hear it, his laughter against your pussy as you realized he had slipped the halo off to lead you astray. He sat there with his left hand extended to guide the feathers across your stomach as his tongue lapped up every inch of you. You were a squirming mess.

“I… I need more Josh.” You begged, reaching to take the tie off of your eyes, but his fingers grasped your wrist faster than you had anticipated.

“So gluttonous darling… For being a Nun, you’re quite the sinner.” With extreme caution he let his teeth gently graze against your clit before sucking it back inside his mouth, the motion causing your hips to buck forward.

“Is it sinning if it’s the angel fucking me?” You retaliated, using your hand to press Josh’s head deeper against your core.

“Hmm. That may be more of a holy misdemeanor than a sin.” Every fucking word vibrated up and inside your cunt and the anticipation was overtaking you. Your thighs squeezed around his head as you bucked up one last time, sending his tongue inside of you and the warmth tugged a moan from your lungs.

Within seconds all contact was gone, the only sound was the bed squeaking in protest from his weight shifting. There was a metallic jingle in the distance and once the sound of metal hitting hardwood graced your ears, you knew what was to come. There was no warning, when you felt the warm push of the tip of his cock slipping past your folds. He felt every inch become surrounded by you and once there was no more to give he leaned forward, the halo now brushing against your forehead.

“Now tell me. Who’s better with their mouth?” He sat there still, waiting for you to respond and when your answer didn’t come he flinched his cock inside of you. “Angel, only good girls who answer their questions get rewards.”

“Y-you. Your mouth is fucking phenominal Josh.”

His cheeks scrunched up with his smile as he traced his teeth with his tongue. “That’s what I wanted to hear.” The confidence was rolling through Josh like a tsunami and in return he let his hips begin to thrust, his cock nearly slamming as far as possible around your clenched walls.

You finally felt his fingers playing with the tie, pulling it up and over your hair to grant you your vision back. He was completely nude, besides the halo planted firmly in his hair. He leaned forward, both hands balled in a fist on either side of your head. This new position allowed for his silver cross necklace to fall forward and dangle right above your nose. He used his whole body to roll his dick flawlessly inside of you, and with each shift of his weight the necklace bounced from your nose to your lips.

You were too focused on the necklace to realize Josh had moved in a position to flip you over onto your stomach, and once you were rolled over he pushed your head down against the pillow so you were looking off to your right. There was a full body mirror on the front of his closet, one that you were now staring directly into.

A bead of sweat glued one of his curls to his forehead, and his fucked out pupils refused to part with the reflection of yours. “You’re MY angel. My girl.” Josh grunted out between thrusts, leaning his forehead down to touch with the back of your head.

“I’m yours Josh. Fuck. All yours.” You watched as he pushed the palms of his hands against your lower back, sending your stomach deeper into the bed but your ass higher off of it. It was then that he lost control. Grunts and moans fell from his lips as he demolished you and you could feel the tip of his cock as it nearly slid out of your pussy every single time he pulled it back a bit too far.

“Again. Say it again angel.” He pulled one hand off of your back and looped it around to your clit, his circles rapid yet rhythmic and with enough continuity to send you to the edge of your release quicker than you have yet.

“This pussy is yours Joshua. All yours.” The deliciously demonic choice of words had him grunting as he focused on getting you to your release. You didn’t even have to vocalize it, when you began to cum. He could feel the walls of your cunt clenching around him as you bit down on the sheets below your head. The extra pressure sent him over the edge within seconds of you, and you could feel every drop of his cum filling the space his dick once occupied.

Once his hips settled, Josh left you to walk over and grab a towel that had been laying in the corner of his bedroom floor, and he carefully draped it across the bed.

You whined, when he forced you to roll over and let it drip out of you as he watched. He sat there mesmerized by your creation together before he gently cleaned up with the towel. Soon you were repositioned against the headboard and Josh climbed up to lay beside you.

“So. How about we watch The Conjuring on this wonderful Halloween night?” You teased playfully reaching for the remote.

“First things first.” Josh interrupted, his hand reaching to take his halo off and move it over against your hair. “A halo for my Angel.” He pressed a kiss to your lips that was so gentle, so loving that even though you laid before him nude a blush creeped upon your cheeks. “Do you want popcorn? I could go for some popcorn after all that.”

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me a dm, ask, or fill out my taglist form!

@amouratomique @godlygreta @castlebythesea @joshkiszkas @celestialfauna @streamsofstardust @fireandsaltydogs @vulture-withafile @lupinevanfleet @garagebandvanfleet @weightofdreams-gvf @silverstormgvf @somedayrikersomeday @allieboop @subtleintellect @chana-gvf @the-chaotic-cow @dannythedog @heatmyfleet @screechesincoherently @trafficwasabitch @fleetsonfire @xserenax-13 @doodle417 @gvfrry @agirlwithmanytastes @b3l1nda @gretavanfleas @brokenbellz @freckled-wonder @st4rdust-ch0rds @sarakay-gvf @angelbabyivy @irrevocably24 @basiccortez @s0livagant @grace-gvf @abbynotsonormal @ashabeannn @fetaransleet @gvfgroopie19 @the-weightof-dreams @kayleea122 @georgesstripedpants @carlybubs @ryegvf @obetrolncocktails @prophetofthedune

#josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka smut #jake kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka imagine #jake kiszka smut #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet smut

[goodguynickachievement]

Interview with Jesy McKinney on VOC Podcast

Subject: Jesy's non-denominational Christian background and his moral compass of wanting to do right in a world that emphasizes darkness.

Interviewee: Jesy McKinney, Ellis's face model from Left 4 Dead 2.

Context: I was watching this interview earlier. The dude seems really nice all around. I also found a Reddit post that mentioned that he was a youth pastor and attended church (Reddit).

Timestamp: 12:53 - 16:24

Transcript:

"It's an interesting choice for the gamemakers to go in that direction. But I think they wanted [it]. So I grew up very Christian, non-denominational Christian family. My parents are actually pastors of a Christian church." "I remember when I did this, Left 4 Dead. I was nervous at the content level. Because coming from a sheltered background, I was like, 'Oh gosh, what am I putting out there into the world? As an artist, I think we do have a little bit of a responsibility like the kind of content that we're putting out there. And what we're a part of. Sometimes it's like, really cool to get a job. And you're just like, 'Yes!' and you book something. But then at the same time, you want to ask yourself, 'What am I adding? Am I just adding to the noise? And adding to the violence and just adding to the intensity out there? Because one thing, if it's an artistic representation of it with a truth that it's revealing - not to be so pretentious and artsy - but I do think that art is important. And I do think as artists, we should be aware of what we're contributing to. And if it contributes to violence in society, and all those kind of layers that go into it, you're like, 'You know that.' And then you're also like, 'This is tight! I'm just gonna be in the game,' you know?" "I remember how nervous I was after a day of shooting. Was kind of nervous. I shot, and they did the image capturing, and it was all done. But then I was really nervous. I don't know how long ago but I was like 21 years old and I was pretty nervous. [And] I actually called up the director of the game, and I don't know if his title was director but he was like the main guy. Like a high level guy at like Valve, I think it was yeah. [And] I called him up late at night, it was so unprofessional but I'm a kid. And I'm like, you know, overthinking it. And I called him up one night. And I'm just like, "I don't know (repeatedly) if I should've done it." He goes, "Huh? What do you mean Jesy?" And I was like, "Is my character bad? I kind of just wanted to do the right thing. Not just take a job." And he's like, "No no no, your character's great. He adds a lot of comedic relief. I think a lot of people are gonna be, he's gonna be somebody a lot of people like. He's not a bad guy." "It kind of talked me down a little bit. I guess I'm someone and it's partly how I'm raised, I want to do the right thing. And I want to be somebody that impacts people in a positive way. And for a second, it made me nervous that I could be contributing to things in society that are somewhat negative or dark. But at the same time, I think from all the people I've interacted with that are fans of the game, it's been a beautiful interaction. I really love the characters. And it's been majorly a positive so you know, that's a good takeaway from it."

I found it really surprising that while he professed himself to be a non-denominational believer of Christ, he also isn't ostentatious and perfectly was comfortable sharing the doubts that he had about getting into something big at the time.

For many believers that are practicing not following the world and Christ only and non-believers alike, I hope this comes as some sort of encouragement for them to follow Christ.

Turns out, we don't have to put our acts on display for people to know, "Hey, you're Christian/Jewish/Judeo-Christian/non-denominational" like celebrities do. That outward recognition comes from the inside.

This reminds me a lot of 1 Samuel 16:7 - When the Lord was choosing David to rule over Israel. The Lord chose David at the time because of his inner countenance. Not the outward countenance as other corrupted kings were like.

Jesy McKinney demonstrates a perfect example of what truly a follower of Christ is - Serving the Lord and others while remaining steadfast in the inner workings.

So glad to have found his interview!

#Christianity #Faith #God #religion #left 4 dead #l4d2 #left 4 dead 2 #l4d #non-denominational #Jesus #Jesus Christ #Bible #church #Youtube

[amazingmsme]

NPMD SPOILER WARNING FOR ANYONE JUST SCROLLING BY! :]

okay so i have no clue how you feel about the au where after max was taken to the Black and white, things were sorta reversed and Richie and Ruth come back to life (basically like the tgwdlm au where everything is reversed when the meteor explodes)

but if you’re not like opposed to it, do you think that Ruth and Richie would get some comfort tickles to be shown everything is alright (including a bunch of hugs and tears and long talks and reassurance.) cause ruth was humiliated in her death and richie was implied to have an absolutely gruesome and violent death (with Sam puking when he saw the body and everything) so they’d definitely be a little messed up from everything

I gotta admit I’m a little out of touch with some of the popular au’s & headcanons in this fandom & most others because I just stick to the people I follow & I don’t venture into the tags very often, but I absolutely love these kinds of au’s!

There’s so many potential for au’s in Hatchetfield because it’s basically canon that there’s multiple timelines/universes, so technically anything can go!

I feel like they’d need a lot of therapy, but if they tried to talk about what actually happened the therapist would think they were legit insane, so that’s not really an option. Instead, they fall back on their friends who lived through these experiences. It’s the only place they feel safe enough to do so tbh

Pete, Steph & Grace are great listeners, & they all comfort them in their own ways, but the most important thing is just listening & being there to ground them. After the factory reset, Richie & Ruth are a lot more timid & sad than they used to be, which is to be expected. But that doesn’t mean their friends don’t try to help bring a smile to their face whenever possible. Pete will offer warm, comforting hugs & sneak in a few tickles to cheer them up after a much needed cry (something Ted would do for him after a rough day at school) & he’ll play video games with them in comfortable silence until they’re ready to talk again. After they come back, he’s not as mean of a ler as he used to be because he feels like they deserve to be handled with care. Steph on the other hand has the complete opposite tactic & thinks it would be worse to coddle them, so her techniques don’t change too much. She also prefers to comfort them by sharing music she thinks they’ll like & does the earbud sharing thing. Grace uses the opportunity to try & convert them, but she knows when she needs to be a friend & comfort them instead of their youth pastor. She actually gets pretty close with Ruth after all this. It takes longer than they would’ve liked, but things do return to some semblance of normal

All in all, I think Richie would handle the situation a bit better than Ruth just because he would make jokes about how he’s like an anime character now. “I’m just like Goku for real! :D”

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written one, but au’s & crossovers really are my bread & butter I fucking love them! There’s infinite possibilities!

#asks #anon ask #npmd spoilers #npmd headcanons #npmd au #hatchetfield headcanon #ruth fleming #richie lipschitz #peter spankoffski #stephanie lauter #grace chasity #nerdy prudes must die #npmd

[jungle-angel]

I just came out to my parents and they are not supportive of me being bi.

I just need some content eaither Bob or Phoenix to distract me so I don't cry.

Have a good day!

Yikes, hon I'm really sorry to hear that. It's probably more the shock of it than anything else. I know that probably doesn't make alot of sense, but that was something that happened with a very close friend of mine who had that happen to her. It took a good long while, but eventually her parents came around and they worked things out. Either way ya'll got yourself some Bob and a little bit of Phoenix.

You were having a really, really rough time lately

You felt like things just didn't feel right, family, friends etc.

Bob could see firsthand that you were feeling like shit

And when he heard you crying, it nearly broke him

He didn't know what to do, so he called Phoenix

And Phoenix called her Uncle John soon after that

Bob took you down to meet him later that weekend

And instantly, you could tell that the man wanted to help, especially when he saw how sunken and red-eyed you looked

John had seen the worst of the worst throughout his lifetime. He was a youth pastor and a councilor who used to run a group for troubled teens and young adults in some pretty rough neighborhoods

You guys had a few good laughs together. You didn't realize how sick John's sense of humor actually was and that there was absolutely no judgement with him

When you both sat down for a while, you told him everything that was going on

And he understood completely

He talked you through everything as best he could

And when you and Bob met up later that day, you felt a thousand times better

Whenever you need a good talk or even just to calm down, Bob, Phoenix and her uncle are always there for you

They're your own little family

And you can always go to them when you're feeling down

Always

I hope this is ok hon, I don't wanna make people feel uncomfortable or anything but I hope these are ok. Feel better, stay safe and give it time. Things will work out no matter what.

#top gun maverick #natasha phoenix trace #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #dagger squad #dagger squad headcannons

[tokillamockingbird427]

do u think logan is religious at all (ik i made alex religious and given the walker's vibes they're prolly a little christian) but do u think he is. actually give me ur opinion on everyone in the team cuz i'm interested

Gonna list 'em.

Rorke Only believes in a god so he can curse him out. Thinks if there is some greater creator that it's pretty evil, letting all the shit that goes on happen. Was probably also very religious when he was younger, seeing as I HC him from somewhere south/midwest. Has a "Fall from grace" when he joined the military and realized what a shit show life can be.

Elias Was probably catholic or christian enough to go to church and pray over dinner before he joined the military. Still religious afterwards, but he's too busy to be dedicated you know? That and mainstream christianity in the US tends to be... pretty shitty towards the kind of people his loved ones are (Queer, non-religious, not white.) so he doesn't like to associate with it. (Evangelicals are the people I'm talking about. Nasty bunch of shit heads.) Believes in god, heaven for the good folk, hell for the evil. He also believes he falls into the latter category. (Poor guy. Killing someone is considered the ultimate sin or whatever.)

Hesh Due to Elias still being a bit religious when he was younger he's got a touch of "Young Christian Boy." but like.... I HC him as trans and Bi so this motherfucker just nyooomed out of that as fast as he could lol. Probably thinks of communion every time he eats a cracker or drinks grape juice. Knows a lot of the christian mythos. (So like, Noah's Arc, Samson, David and Goliath.)

Logan Elias was pretty much done even considering religion by the time Logan was old enough to form proper memories, but military culture actually has a lot of religious influence so he knows "the basics" like what praying is, heaven, hell, purgatory, who Satan is. Not a lot beyond that. Might become a bit more religious after the pit, trying to find a way to help cope with the shit he's been through. Reason I mention Saint Christopher a lot with him is because he's the patron saint of travellers. Lots of people in the military actually have a Saint Christopher necklace because of that. (My Dad bought my brother one when he joined the service.)

Rest below the cut so this doesn't get too long.

Keegan Seems like a guy with a fair bit of religious trauma. Probably grew up going to sunday school, praying over dinner with the fam, getting yelled at by his youth pastor for kissing another boy, you know the usual stuff for evangelical children to go through. Very violently rejected the whole shebang in his teen years, realizing he was very much not the "Ideal Christian." what with all the ideas he had. (Women having rights, gay people having rights, minorities having rights. You know, the basics.) Still internally panics every time he enters an empty room where he thought everyone was because he still has nightmares about the rapture. I'm not giving him brownie points btw, he's just a decent human being that grew up around shitty human beings.

Ajax Actually "properly" religious. Grew up in a vaguely christian house where he wasn't allowed to say "God dang it." and went to church on easter, but otherwise it wasn't very focused. Probably leaned on it more entering the military, both due to the culture and as a way to connect to his mother. Prays before he sleeps at night, wears a cross, participates in all the holidays with his family back home, otherwise keeps it to himself because he respects boundaries. (He knows Keegans tragic backstory, keeps it "away" from him so to speak. Won't pray if he's in the room. Keegan wouldn't mind if he didn't, Ajax was just raised polite as fuck.)

Merrick Pretty non religious all around. Like he knows about all the different kinds, not very interested in any of them. Not quite atheistic because he believes there might be some greater force in the universe, but he'd liken it more to an unintelligent code/function than a conscious omnipotent being.

Kick "Funny" atheist. Refuses to believe in any higher power. Doesn't say it, but he probably thinks religion is unreasonable in the modern day an age. Makes jokes about god(s) not existing/being dead.

Neptune Mixing pot right here. Believes in rebirth and Karma, which are Buddhist. Believes in a good place a bad place and a neutral place, which a lot of religions have but their idea is closer to Christian ideas of heaven hell and purgatory than anything else. Also thinks the universe is the closest thing to god, which is Pantheism, reveres life because of that. Thinks god may be made of multiple things, which is also a lot of religions, no specific one to liken it too though. Thinks ghosts are real, which is a spiritual belief. Thinks humans are outside of whatever god is, so they don't have a problem doing their job despite the "protect life" thing.

Fun fact: Adonis, based on @satan-incarnate-666 is Muslim. I asked their help with his burial rites and that. (They were very helpful and it was very interesting to learn!)

#ghillie #call of duty #call of duty ghosts #gabriel rorke #elias walker #hesh walker #logan walker #keegan p russ #alex v johnson #ajax (cod: g) #kick (cod: g) #neptune (cod: g) #adonis rex (oc)

[ventiswampwater]

Re: Send Me a Character post:

oh THERE he is. the soggy one. god. he's so pathetic. SO sopping wet. sigh. men u wanna hang out to dry on a laundry line in the warm afternoon light......................................

first impression: what u doin w/that box boy???? whomst u got in there?? also how tf are u readin the bible in this dark ass room??? ur straining ur eyes. love how he's perfectly nailed that slightly embarrassed and 100% awkward smile that (especially youth) pastors have. it's uncanny.

impression now: damn, the horror really was for love wasn't it??? the horror was for fucking LOVE. I'm gonna throw up. shut the fuck up. the horror was for love. sick. SICK. sick.

also. he's 100% the humanized version of that one pic of the cat under the showerhead.

favorite moment: I really love his ash wednesday sermon in episode two tbh!! his devotion comes across as absolute—in a slightly nervous self-effacing way. and that's the source of his charisma and speaks to how he's able to grab such a hold on the island. it's all in the way that the people of crockett perceive his vulnerability!!! you buy what he's selling bc he comes across as completely authentic. he's compelling and passionate and it's so...............AAAAAAA

at points throughout, his voice wavers and it seems like he's being taken over by emotion. the words he's saying have WEIGHT to him and it's just v oof. v OOF. like???? "even out of blackness, love rises again. even out of sin. and this island, it will rise again. even out of disaster, rebirth, restoration, eternal life."

JUST?????? ugh. OOF. it's as much a sermon for those attending the mass as it is for himself. SICK. ill over it tbh. it's SUCH a gorgeous little bit of characterization oml.

also, ANY scene where he's in jeans. father..........if I speak......... ahem!! when he's sad and bloated w/blood. sitting pathetically on the floor like a miserable lil tick. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BOY

idea for a story: truly no thoughts head empty. just priest in jeans. probably includes him on his knees for the majority of the fic. sprinkle in an absolute fuckton of catholic guilt. HE'S the conquest. everyone in the equation is being weird about it. maybe somebody grabs him by his hair. while he's on his knees. who knows. certainly not I, ofc. 😌🙏

unpopular opinion: honestly, I haven't ventured into the depths of the MM fandom to know what the hot takes are. SO, odds are this is not unpopular at ALL. but. if anyone out there. is writing porn w/this man being super domineering. I rebuke that in the name of slutty pathetic vampires EVERYWHERE.

favorite relationship: OH, his relationship and interactions w/riley 100%. definitely the most compelling parts of the show imo!! enthralled w/the way their choices parallel each other and diverge??? v scrumptious good fuckin food right there 🤌✨

favorite headcanon: bc of a late night convo w/the actual loml poki (@raccoonspooky), I'm obsessed w/the idea of him going on a shopping spree post-vampire glow-up. bc his grandpa clothes will not do for this scheme he's cooking up. peepaw awkwardly meandering into hollister. aeropostale. to get himself some new fits for his upcoming hotpriest antics 💀 kills me

#tysm for this ask crumb. I loved getting a chance 2 ramble about this dumb sad man #peepaw................................(said whorishly. w/vile intent) #asks #character ask game #crumb #<-sidenote but ur username is so powerful. I love it sm

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Ouch.

This piece has been in the works for a few weeks, and I'm so excited to share it because I'm really proud of how it's turning out! But first I have a BIG HUGE CONTENT WARNING for mentions of sex (nothing graphic, very clinical in approach. no sex scenes), sex negativity, mentions of STIs, mentions of HIV/AIDS specifically, and lots of ex-Christian guilt. This was therapeutic to write as I continue my journey towards developing a sex-positive mindset, and I hope those of you who feel safe to read this will find it cathartic or enlightening, depending on how similar your background is to mine! Much love from Five & Six!

I look down at the tiny red spot, just slightly out of alignment with the wrinkle in the center of my arm. "You," I tell it affectionately, "are going to make sure I don't have HIV." Ah, and what was the other one? Syphilis? I recognize all the names the doctor threw at me earlier, "recognize" in the numbest sense of the word. Of course I've heard of HIV--I was a young gay once, reading the things pastors like to write online and, later, in a marginally happier time, breathing in every bit of the minimal queer history I had access to. Too scared to look anything up, of course, but I scavenged for it in the world around me, burned the small, isolated phrases I came across into my memory. These days, in my Queer Theories class, it feels like bells are constantly ringing in my mind: oh, I always wondered what that was or ah, I've heard of that somewhere. The other STIs, I remember from those youth group assemblies, the ones where they'd parody popular songs but make it so they were all about getting chlamydia. CHLAMYDIA, in big letters on the wall of the doctor's office. My eyes were drawn to the poster every time I went for pain med refills, and today I asked for a panel, finally. I don't know what I want out of it: if I test positive for anything, I'll have to fight my memory for answers, and if I test negative for everything, all that will ring in my head is, "Not for long, bitch." As though I don't get sick all the time, the immune system of a maniac (ah, nicer words, i'm sorry. let's try... anxious, depressed, prone to mood swings when i forget to take my two little teal pills in the morning.) having cost me chances at perfect attendence since middle school.

But these kinds of sick are different, don't you see? I read "low chance of transmission" and "transmission is extremely unlikely" and just stare, confused, head tilted eyes lidded, the words blurring in front of me. How low? It can't be low enough that it won't be me, hmm? God works like the CHLAMYDIA sign on the wall of the doctor's office, I'm sure. He said, "let there be light" and now he's going to say "let there be CHLAMYDIA." And then I die, I think, though that bit is unclear.

It doesn't matter if we both get tested beforehand, if I do my research and dredge up the things from school sex education that I was too dysphoric to commit to memory in more than small snippets. You know, things like test before every new partner and dental dams. Actually, I still don't know what a dental dam is, and I'm not going to be the one to look it up. I'll wait until, like most things about sex, it's been five years and it suddenly occurs to me oh, I have no idea what an orgasm is, so I ask someone else to explain it to me. It doesn't matter, anyway. Whenever someone tries answer my questions, I feel enlightened in the moment and then just more confused after. My mind goes fuzzy when I try to summon the definition--all I can muster is the dull, impersonal knowledge of a student, just ticking the boxes in hopes of getting a few points. Muscle spasms, you kind of zone out, people want to have it because it feels good, it happens when specific areas are stimulated. It goes even fuzzier when I try to explain which. I don't... I'll leave those questions to be answered in five years, I think.

Science taught me evolution, science taught my spine to straighten, science taught my parents to call me by the name I call my own. I wonder if the pages blur when my dad reads about evolution. I laugh at him for not understanding, for not believing the take-home biology experiment about natural selection and birds, but here I am, waiting for God to turn my body to a giant blister for walking into a sex shop, walking in and looking up from the floor at the things on the walls and thinking thoughts as sinful as hmm, I wonder if that comes in pink and ooh, I think my partner mentioned that before. how much does it cost?

I don't even know what chlamydia is.

#prose poem #sex positivity is tough :(

[direwombat]

@harmonyowl and @schoute, (and everyone else!) please meet my new seed sibling oc, jonah

→ the babiest seed (but he and john are very close in age, only a year or two apart).

→ has little-to-no memory of his brothers/life pre-foster care, save for the memory of how he got a scar across his eyebrow when he was but a wee bab

→ the memory is vague and blurry, but he remembers an angry man (daddy seed), being in pain and crying, and an older boy (either joseph or jacob) ferrying him away to the bathroom to take care of the injury. 

→ was ultimately adopted into a loving family in the small town of kingston, ga.

→ the church his parents attended was a serpent handling church that drank (mildly) poison laced wine for communion

→ his parents were delighted when he took an interest in snake handling and encouraged him to study under the pastor, where he learns he has a particular talent for handling the creatures.

→ at age sixteen the pastor he studied under was found dead surrounded by his snakes. It was ruled an accident, but in actuality, jonah, who was being abused by the pastor, used the snakes to kill the man.

→ he didn’t go to college (though he did think about seminary school), and instead became a traveling preacher, conman, and thief, using milked snakes

→ joe finds him preaching out of a tent in rural georgia. he approaches jonah after a sermon and the two have a lengthy discussion about god and religion, but jonah kind of brushes joe off when he claims to be his brother.  “we’re all brothers in christ,” jonah says, and he certainly doesn’t believe joe about the voice.

→ anyway, cut to a few weeks later and jonah is giving a sermon only the snake he usually uses escaped its basket and he has to use one of the unmilked ones. he’s bitten. he feels the venom pump into his veins and it fucking hurts and he falls to the ground in front of his congregation, but in true snake-handler fashion, he refuses any kind of medical attention. he writhes on the ground, frothing at the mouth, speaking in tongues before he seizes one last time and the light seems to leave his eyes.

→ and then a few moments later he bolts back up, coughing up up foamy blood and joseph is right there, propping him up and claiming that what just happened was a miracle, the will of god! but in the quiet after the congregation leaves, joseph tells jonah that he’s been reborn. the conman, liar, and thief he used to be is dead. he was a false prophet before, but now the signs following him and his snake handling are true. and jonah, without any better explanation for what happened, buys into it. 

→ after this incident, jonah gives joseph’s words a bit more consideration, and after doing some digging through government records, it’s confirmed they are family, and jonah joins up with joseph and john as they search for jacob.

→ he gives off a lot of cool youth pastor energy that helped eden’s gate fly under the radar for a while, making it seem more family friendly and he ran a lot of sunday school/bible study aimed towards kids for the cult. he generally helped joe appeal to a younger demographic. the pied piper of the cult in a way

→ arguably the most well adjusted of his brothers.

→ only he’s super not, he’s just as unhinged and prone to violence as the rest of them. he just hides it better. a snake in the grass if you will…

→ more like faith in that he doesn’t really use firearms (although jacob definitely taught him how to use one), but he does like to use various poisons and venoms

→ he’s closest with joseph and faith. He’s a little intimidated by jacob but he knows that he’d do anything for him. he and john butt heads a lot but they also have that “only i can insult my brother” kind of dynamic.

→ his main sin is pride, more specifically vainglory/vanity, but he’s also guilty of greed. both these sins are tattooed onto his torso by john

→ i’m inventing a region [name tbd] in hope county that he’s the herald of, either to the east or south of the canon map where there’s a lot of flat land, is kind of scrubby, and filled with horses and snakes.

→ his herald title is “the messenger” but a lot of the resistance refer to him as a snake charmer and snake-oil salesman. 

→ his bunker is called “the burrow” and it’s filled with so many snakes.

→ he was heavily inspired by/based off billy st. cyr, a minor character from season 4 of justified, played by joe mazzello (who is also jonah’s face claim)

#oc: jonah seed #far cry 5 oc #far cry 5 ocs #anyway he's single if any mutuals (or rather any mutuals' ocs) are interested #haha i'm just kidding....unless 👉👈👀 #my ocs

[signalwatch]

Drac Watch: Renfield (2023)

Watched:  07/06/2023

Format:  Peacock

Viewing:  First

Director:  Chris McKay

I had actually intended to see Renfield (2023) in the theater, but it seemed like before I knew it was released, it was gone and being offered on VOD.  Here we are about 2.5 months out from the release date, and I saw it on Peacock.  So, we are in interesting times.

Longtime followers of the blog may know I'm a bit of a Universal Monsters fan, not least of which is 1931's Dracula.  I've seen a few other versions, read the novel, seen a stage play, etc...  I figure I've done my Drac homework.  And so it was that seeing a movie pitched as a goofy, dark comedy about the woes of being Dracula's familiar (Renfield from novel and the 1931 film, played by the great Dwight Frye) with no one less than Nic Cage as Dracula had a strong appeal.

The trailer featured Renfield (played by Nicholas Hoult, who I think people rightly say they dig), attending group therapy for folks in abusive relationships, which, in retrospect, is maybe not innately hilarious to the twitter generation.  So I expected the movie was going to be Renfield and Drac's odd-couple relationship with some gross-out gore humor.  And that's... partially correct.

Weirdly, Awkwafina, who had just come off of Shang-Chi, and twitter's flying attempt at a good canceling, was not featured in the ads at all.  And she's arguably as important to the movie as Hoult or Cage.  She plays a police officer in a cartoonishly corrupt New Orleans police department whose father has been murdered by the Lobo crime family - who are also not in the trailer but feature Ben Schwartz as a wormy heir-apparent and the always phenomenal Shohreh Aghdashloo.  

Here's the thing I did not know:  the movie is an action-comedy-horror film.  There's a whole plot about Renfield maybe wanting to be a better person and it leading to him performing heroic deeds/ teaming up with Awkwafina, and Dracula thinking he's been thinking too small.

If you're like me, and you find acts of horrific violence geared for comedic value to be, in fact, funny as @#$%, this may be a good reason to stream it on The Cock.  This movie realized a little CGI blood costs about the same as A LOT of CGI blood, and they went bonkers.  But, honestly, the best parts of this movie are:

the use of Dracula (1931) as a set-up and perfectly recreating scenes from the film

Nic Cage's unique (in the best way) version of Dracula - that kind of makes you wish someone thought to cast him as the center of the Dark Universe giant mess Universal pondered a few years back.  Like, you realize, this totally makes sense, even when he's having a goofy scene with Hoult.  

Shohreh Aghdashloo in general

Brandon Scott Jones is absolutely perfect as the therapist/ pastor.  Give that dude more work.

I wish I could say it all hangs together, but it feels weirdly rushed - like director Chris McKay decided all the scenes were too long, and so the movie never really breathes and nothing lasts long enough for a comedic beat even when funny stuff is happening.

The movie did get some advertising, but I can't figure out what the thinking was.  It's *possible* heavily referencing a 90-year-old movie was not the right choice for The Youths.  Or that the premise sold in the ads didn't appeal.   Or that Dracula is more of a concept these days than something people actively seek out (which is probably worth discussing).  I dunno.  But it does feel like 2023 audiences are incredibly finicky and aren't going to drop $17 or whatever on a ticket for a 90 minute movie unless it's going to be a slam dunk.

https://ift.tt/M8INdR2

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/Ab463Pe

#dracula #renfield #movies

[moa-broke-me]

My relationship with religion is... Weird.

Because like, I'm an atheist, generally speaking, but... It's more complicated than that.

I practice witchcraft on occasion, mostly kitchen witchery and sigil-making. I turned to hellenistic paganism for a short while, even considered satanism. I was raised in the baptist south by two liberal christian parents, and for the longest time, I was one myself. I didn't deconvert because of any strictly logic or science-based reason like most atheists, because my parents had already found ways to work around that and still be christians despite the highly specific idea both of them were raised with of what christianity could be. I deconverted, in part, because I strove to treat other religions with the same gravity and respect as my own, but it was becoming hard for me to justify doing so if I believed they were factually, materially wrong, and I had tall the right answers. Mostly, though, it was thanks to the parable of the rat poison. My pastor only used this rhetorical device once, but I still remember how it goes. 'Rat poison is 99% regular, healthy food. That's how they get the rats to eat it. It's only the 1% of it that's poison, and it's enough to kill them. Christianity is the same way; You can be 99% of a Christian, and god will turn you away because of the 1% you rejected or supplemented with something else. Rejection of god's design for man and woman, rejection of the sanctity of unborn life, rejection of the truth of creation, these are all rat poison.' The narrowmindedness and paranoia this device tried to force me into intruded on my life, on my sense of identity. It gave me major imposter syndrome. I felt guilty every time my beliefs and values differed from that of my youth group. How could I be a christian if I didn't believe the exact same things as my peers? If I didn't take every single thing in the bible as literal, physical fact? If I ever dared to doubt anything I was told? My parents and I, according to the rabid persecuting voice in my mind that I used to call accountability, were all going to hell, along with everyone who ate the rat poison.

Now that I'm no longer a Christian, I can look at things from an outsider perspective. I can see that this is just one interpretation of a very old book. I view Jesus, not as the son of god, or even as a real person, but like the myth that most atheists do. He's about as real as Santa to me.

But... I do appreciate the myth of Santa, and what he represents; the spirit of generosity, towards people you've never met before and will never meet again, without expecting anything in return. That is something I want to emulate. In that same vein, I can appreciate the myth of Jesus, a representation of something we should all strive for; An all-encompassing love of the world, of humanity. An acceptance for people as they are. I can also appreciate the myth of Satan, the spirit of rebellion, of standing up for yourself when you're not treated as an equal, and being able to leave when they punish you for it. Living, unapologetically, as yourself, exercising the full extent of your free will and encouraging others to do the same.

And when you think about it, that's a little bit daoist of me, but I'm not gonna go into that too much, because the deepest research I've actually done about daoism was watching a youtube video about the philosophical implications of Kung Fu fucking Panda. So I could be totally wrong here.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

My Changing Emotions About Weddings

OK, so it’s fairly well established that I’m a big sap. Even when I was living a lonely existence of emotional neglect at home when I was young, and even being super demisexual, almost to the point of being totally asexual, I’m going to share my son’s words here to describe me (we’ve had some frank discussions at the start of high school about sexuality). He suspects he’s on the asexual spectrum somewhere, and I told him that’s ok...he’s not damaged or weird. I am too. I told him about how weird high school and college were for me because of that; I was/am that, but at the time, I didn’t know what it was or that it was even a thing a person could be. It was never talked about, even in progressive-for-the-time fiction. So upon learning this about me, the conversation went in this direction...

Boy: Wow. You’re like a very rare person, I think, Mom. Because you’re pretty asexual, but you’re like...HYPER-romantic. You see love and romance everywhere all the time. All your stories are love stories. You’re like Frank Capra and Walt Disney, but an asexual girl. That’s probably a pretty unique combination in people.

Me: Maybe. I never really thought about that.

Boy: I can’t believe you are so optimistic and lovey based on your childhood, even if you weren’t even a little bit ace. Mam and Pap are like...not at all romantic people.

Me: Think how sappy and annoying I’d be if I had supportive parents. HAHAHA!

Boy: You would maybe actually BE Aphrodite then. <chuckles>

(The Boy has been studying a lot of film and literature and classic world cultures for his school’s academic competitions...so yes, he is really the one referencing Frank Capra and Aphrodite...not me.)

I share this because I think The Boy is right about me. When I was young, even though I never had sexual urges, even INSIDE a youthful romantic relationship, I was always into romance-y things. Not the textbook, trite shit like getting flowers or writing love poems or whatever, but just...little things someone does (maybe not even your partner, but your friends, your family, your teacher/coach, whoever) that show they are thinking about you and know you and value you. And I’ve always, even when I wasn’t into any other love-story-type shit, been into weddings. I LOVED going to weddings as a kid/teenager/young single adult/newlywed. LOVED. Nothing fuels a sappy romantic more than watching two hopeful souls stand up in front of the people they know and declare love and promise to one another. Unity. Mutual expression of love and loyalty. I’ve written a LOT of weddings; all different kinds of weddings between all different kinds of people who love each other; into my stories. Like...it really gets my motor running. Or it used to.

The last several weddings I’ve attended, however, even my own brother’s, have soured me on them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still all about love and loyalty and unity and commitment. I still like the IDEA and IDEAL of weddings a whole bunch. The recent angst comes from the shit I’m hearing said at weddings by all sorts of different sources. Best men/maids of honor/wedding attendants...parents of the bride and/or groom...pastors/officiants... Like it’s leaving a bad taste in my mouth. That wedding celebrations themselves are now being purposely tainted with negativity.

Some snippets from recent (going back to maybe a couple years prior to COVID) weddings...

“You’ve now promised to love this person forever, but you won’t like them all the time...sometimes you’ll look at this person you married and wonder why you married them because you don’t even LIKE this person, but you promised to love them forever. So you have to continue to choose to love them every day, even on days you don’t like them...”

“’Love is patient, love is kind...etc...’ This scripture means that when we join together in marriage, we are called to give our spouse the sacrificial love Jesus gave to all humanity...”

“Marriage is hard.”

“<Groom>, I want you to take <bride’s> hand in your hand. Now place your other hand on top of hers. Enjoy this moment, because it will be the last time you have the upper hand in this marriage.”

That last one is so dripping with marriage negativity and misogyny it made me want to walk out of the joint.

I understand the drive to tell a new couple, especially a young couple, that every day isn’t going to be like their wedding day, where everyone they ever even mostly liked is going to show up and applaud them and give them gifts and get tipsy and get out on the dance floor in their finery and shake it into the wee hours of the morning. Life’s not a party. I get it. Don’t want to set the kids up to think it is, but I mean...they KNOW that. They do. They grew up watching their own parents argue and struggle and sometimes even divorce or die. They’ve all experienced disappointment and loss. Their wedding...from their pastor and parents and family and friends...isn’t the time for harsh reminders of those things, I don’t think. But beyond just that, those things are false. We’re telling these newly married people lies, or at least only incomplete versions of the truth. I DO like J all the time. Yeah, sometimes he pisses me off. I piss him off too. But I always like him. I’ve never thought, ‘Why’d I marry this dude?’ I know why. He’s my person. He makes my life better. My Pre-J Life was undeniably shittier than My Post-J Life. Yes, love is patient and kind and will occasionally to often call on a person to sacrifice something for another, but not your whole life or self. That’s not really love. People who love you don’t expect complete sacrifice and perfection from the people they love. They just don’t. Marriage ISN’T hard. It’s really not. LIFE is hard. Life is going to throw illness and loss and disappointment and hardship at you no matter what you do; that’s life. MARRIAGE is supposed to be a buffer for life. That’s your partner; that’s your person; that’s your homie there to share the load and hold you when you cry. If that person isn’t making your life better, you shouldn’t be married to them, or you should no longer be married to them. We live in a time and place in history and culture where if it’s not working out, there’s a way out. I’m still an incurable, unrepentant romantic, but I’ve seen a whole bunch of bad marriages; I’ve never met a bad divorce. And yeah, again? If a man is getting married, particularly if he’s getting married to a woman? HE’S winning. Women don’t ruin men or oppress them by marrying them. I’m so fucking tired of hearing that coming at me, and everyone else, especially young men who are attracted to women, left, right, and center. It’s not a joke. Those jokes are really stupid and have never been funny. But damned if a whole bunch of people didn’t laugh at that ‘upper hand’ one last night. I didn’t laugh. Neither did J or The Boy.

I dunno. I guess maybe all the negative shit was always there before the past few years for me, and like myself, I just blocked it out and only saw the shiny happy parts I wanted to see in wedding ceremonies and receptions. Now, unfortunately, all I see are the problems. I’m hoping we’re not invited to another wedding for a good long time.

#no reblogs please

[madewithonerib]

3.] Don't Give Up

Now v.9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest of righteousness. [7:55] 

If we do not give up!

How many of you have read that verse before at the end or had somebody pray that over you or encourage you with that?

It's beautiful, but what's easy to forget is usually —when I read that or when people pray that over me, or you say that to me..

     it's applied to a hard season in life like      hey don't grow weary doing good stay      at it. As a mom/dad, or in your job or in      your Church or whatever — and that's      wonderful

But actually, here it's applied by Paul not to a hard season in life—but to your ongoing fight with your flesh, don't grow weary! Don't give up in the fight

   •  Don't surrender    •  Don't throw in the towel & say it's too hard    •  Don't say it's too much work    •  Don't think the odds are against me

Like no never give up! Never surrender!! Its that kind of a call right? [8:51] 

I'm not gonna do Gary Oldman at all, by the way —if you missed that, it's incredible but we digress

The seven is always a mess up here, I'm so sorry the 10 was fine. He's saying don't give up in your fight against the flesh—for at the proper time it will give you a harvest of righteousness.

If we do not give up..

3.1] Return on Investment

Now this idea that a man or a woman reaps what s/he sows—outside of the Bible is called the law of returns & there are other non-Christian idea again.

This is just a human condition, idea there are other ways to state it:

   •  What goes around comes around    •  Like FATHER like son,    •  You get out what you put in    •  You get what you deserve    •  No pain, no gain    •  Garbage in, garbage out [Karma]

The way JESUS said it was quote:

     Give & it will be given to you, and then      HE said pressed down shaken together

In another spot HE said, "With the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." And more unquote, the idea of the law of returns is very simple & has two parts.

     Every action has a reaction.

This is literally a law of thermodynamics, it's just a reality of the human condition, & to that reaction is often disproportionate to the action.

Now Paul says it to an Agrarian Economy with the word picture of sowing & reaping. Any gardeners in the room? Southeast people? Anything yes!

You know who you are! You know what Paul is talking about.

Very simple two ideas:

[1] Plant a rose seed & you get what? A rose [2] Sow poison ivy & you get what? A noxious weed

And to sow a seed, & in time you get what a little black dot? No, you get a rosebush back, or a hedge of ivy, or a tree; or in Paul's metaphor a harvest!

[or an entire field back in return]

if Paul were writing to our knowledge economy, my guess is he would have said it with the word picture of compound interest.

The miracle of the market! I have this vivid memory from when I was in my early 20's & we had planted our Church & prior to that—I was a youth pastor.

I made minimum wage, I wasn't even a salary, it was like I would turn in a timecard at the end of the week & I think the minimum wage was like seven bucks an hour or something unjust at the time.

And we plant this Church & it was just like a few hundred bucks a month with no health insurance for at this first six months to twelve months.

I can't even remember & finally we're up & running; and you guys start to give & so the elders sit me down & give me my first ever salary. [11:42]

I'm 23 years old & it wasn't much, but it was like okay I'm salaried now—actually it's a big moment in my life & one of our elders was this financial guru.

He ran an investment company.

You would never have known it, he has lived a very simple lifestyle—was very generous, but was a bit of a wizard with money & had been very good with his finances & he sat me down to give me basically free financial planning.

And I remember when he sat me down & he worked out—all right here's how much you need to retire & he said our retirement age for you is 2045.

Here's how much money you need in order to have residual income of 70% of what you make now.

Which means here's how much you have to invest every single month in order to like not live off of your children when you are in your 70s or whatever.

I remember sitting with him & if you've ever sat with a financial planner—some of you that are out in your career now, you remember this moment.

They show you compound interest in a graph what it actually looks like for your life & this is crazy if you've ever seen that graph.

Some of you it's like what a concept!

There's this thing if you look at retirement investment for the first couple decades of your career it does this [plateau] it remains flat for three decades, it goes up a little bit, in the 40s it goes up a little bit & then all set in your 50s—you just become Bill Gates like 10 years!

It's just at the very end. [13:15] 

Compound interest, it's like the same as a population growth around the world or whatever—for a long time and then all of a sudden, the miracle of compounding interest! It just goes like this [exponential]

And I remember him sitting down with me & saying listen it's not about how much money you invest, it's about how early you start & he had some crazy stat.

But you had some crazy stat like you're 23 & if you put in $200/month starting now, you'll have twice as much in retirement, as if you were to put in $2,000 a month when your start when you're 43.

I have no idea if that math is right, something like that—Doug down here knows something, he was one of our elders at the time.

This dramatic number I remember thinking wow & to this day I don't think about it much—but maybe once a year, it comes to mind & I log into my little investment portfolio & I see what I have & it's been 15 years now & there's not much there..

But it's not a retirement, but maybe a really nice vacation. But I don't stress because I've been really good with my money & I put it all the way

I know that's coming right

Now honestly on a serious note—because this is the miracle of compound interest, which is not only a financial reality.

Listen carefully, here's where I tell you that story it is a life reality — theologian Cornelius Plantinga, in his masterpiece of a book on sin

which we have out there on a recommended reading writes this:

     No matter what we sell money or otherwise,      the law of returns applies good or evil; love,      or hate; justice or tyranny; grapes or thorns; a      gracious compliment or a peevish complaint      whatever we invest—we tend to get it back      with interest.

   •  Lovers are loved    •  Haters hated    •  Forgivers usually get forgiven    •  Those who live by the sword die by the sword

GOD is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sell —again followers of JESUS, or Buddhist, or agnostic, or whatever

It does not matter, this is just how things are in the universe—trying to get around this, is like trying to get around the law of gravity!

All that to say [and stay with me here] Paul applies this idea of the law of returns—not to your retirement nest egg—to make a case for why you're to invest in your 20s

He applies this law of return to your spiritual formation & to mine—if that language is new to you, all we mean by that is the process by which we are formed from our SPIRIT, from our inside out.

To become a very specific kind of person, for better or for worse—let's flesh this out, everytime we quote “sow to our flesh” in Paul's language.

Put another way, every time we give in to our flesh & its desire to sin, we plant something in the soil of our heart that then begins to take root, grow, & eventually to yield a character & vice versa.

   •  Every time we sow to the SPIRIT,    •  Every time we give into the SPIRIT's impulse in us       toward love & JESUS definition of life in the       Kingdom we plant something in the soil of       our hearts & then it begins to take root and       grow & in the end to yield a character [17:08] 

Again Plantinga goes on:

      Inside a given human life, the dynamics of       sowing, reaping, & resowing lie behind the       process of character formation..

      Dispositions & acts [by dispositions means       the way you think & feel & kind of move       through the universe & acts your habits,       decisions you make] form your character       which then forms dispositions & acts.

      You see there's a cycle.

      A mere state of mind can eventually swell       to become a person's destiny [Ex negativity       we'll use that as an example in a minute]

      A fuller statement of the great law returns       would therefore go something like this:       [1] sow a thought & reap a deed       [2] sow a deed & reap another deed       [3] sow some deeds, reap a habit.       [4] sow some habits, reap a character       [5] sow a character, reap some thoughts       [6] New thoughts then begin to pursue            careers of their own..

All of you in the mood to do that & reap a habit?

Meaning the cycle begins to feed off its own energy & either spiral out of control into disaster—what he calls destruction or culminates in CHRIST's likeness

The law of returns is the mechanism of our spiritual formation—it is how we are either formed from our SPIRIT out to become more like JESUS.

And in doing so, utterly ourself, or malformed by the world, the flesh, & the devil—to become less ourself & to fit the status quo of our society.

Slavery of Freedom E1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 | John Mark Comer [Galatians 6:1-18]

#Return on Investment #Don't Give Up #Slavery of Freedom #Galatians 6 #Cornelius Plantinga #spiritual formation #habit #character #thoughts #careers