#i’ve landed on my preferred designs

[spottedgardeneelstan]

(1) new message from svsss cast

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #mobei jun #have a happy new yuri!!!!! #i strive to create more sillies in the coming year #so please continue viewing! i am very thankful #it’s been fun figuring out how i want to draw them #i’ve landed on my preferred designs #anyway happy new year #good luck everybody #i love you mutuals chu #(that’s me respectfully kissing ur heads)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Why none of my books are available on Audible (and why Amazon owes me $3,218.55)

I love audiobooks. When I was a high-school-aged page at a public library in the 1980s, I would pass endless hours shelving and repairing books while listening to “books on tape” from the library’s collection. By the time iTunes came along, I’d amassed a huge collection of cassette and CD audiobooks and I painstakingly ripped them to my collection.

Then came Audible, and I was in heaven — all the audiobooks, none of the hassle of ripping CDs. There was only one problem: the Digital Rights Management (DRM). You see, I’ve spent most of my adult life campaigning against DRM, because I think it’s an existential danger to all computer users — and because it’s a way for tech companies to hijack the relationship between creators and their audiences.

In 2011, I gave a speech at Berlin’s Chaos Communications Congress called “The Coming War on General Purpose Computing.” In it, I explained that Digital Rights Management was technologically incoherent, a bizarre fantasy in which untrusted users of computers could be given encrypted files and all the tools needed to decrypt them, but somehow be prevented from using those decrypted files in ways that conflicted with the preferences of the company that supplied those files.

As I said then, computers are stubbornly, inescapably “general purpose.” The only computer we know how to make — the Turing-complete von Neumann machine — is the computer that can run all the programs we know how to write. When someone claims to have built a computer-powered “appliance” — say, a smart speaker or (God help us all) a smart toaster — that can only run certain programs, what they mean is that they’ve designed a computer that can run every program, but which will refuse to run programs unless the manufacturer approves them.

But this is also technological nonsense. The program that checks to see whether other programs are approved by the manufacturer is also running on an untrusted adversary’s computer (with DRM, you are the manufacturer’s untrusted adversary). Because that overseer program is running on a computer you own, you can replace it, alter it, or subvert it, allowing you to run programs that the manufacturer doesn’t like. That would include (for example) a modified DRM program that unscrambles the manufacturer-supplied video, audio or text file and then, rather than throwing away the unscrambled copy when you’re done with it, saves it so you can open it with a program that doesn’t restrict you from sharing it.

As a technical matter, DRM can’t work. Once one person figures out how to patch a DRM program so that it saves the files it descrambles, they can share that knowledge (or a program they’ve written based on that knowledge) with everyone in the world, instantaneously, at the push of a button. Anyone who has that new program can save unscrambled copies of the files they’ve bought and share those, too.

DRM vendors hand-wave this away, saying things like “this just keeps honest users honest.” As Ed Felten once said, “Keeping honest users honest is like keeping tall users tall.”

In reality, DRM vendors know that technical countermeasures aren’t the bulwark against unauthorized reproduction of their files. They aren’t technology companies at all — they’re legal companies.

In 1998, Bill Clinton signed the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) into law. This is a complex law and a decidedly mixed bag, but of all the impacts that the DMCA’s many clauses have had on the world, none have been so quietly, profoundly terrible as Section 1201, the “anti-circumvention” clause that protects DRM.

Under DMCA 1201, it is a felony to “traffick” in tools that bypass DRM. Doing so can land you in prison for five years and hit you with a fine of up to $500,000 (for a first offense). This clause is so broadly written that merely passing on factual information about bugs in a system with DRM can put you in hot water.

Here’s where we get to the existential risk to all computer users part. As a technology, DRM has to run as code that is beyond your observation and control. If there’s a program running on your computer or phone called “DRM” you can delete it, or go into your process manager and force-quit it. No one wants DRM. No one woke up this morning and said, “Dammit, I wish there was a way I could do less with the entertainment files I buy online.” DRM has to hide itself from you, or the first time it gets in your way, you’ll get rid of it.

The proliferation of DRM means that all the commercial operating systems now have a way to run programs that the owners of computers can’t observe or control. Anything that a technologist does to weaken that sneaky, hidden facility risks DMCA 1201 prosecution — and half a decade in prison.

That means that every device with DRM is designed to run programs you can’t see or kill, and no one is allowed to investigate these devices and warn you if they have defects that would allow malicious software to run in that deliberately obscured part of your computer, stealing your data and covertly operating your device’s sensors and actuators. This isn’t just about hacking your camera and microphone: remember, every computerized “appliance” is capable of running every program, which means that your car’s steering and brakes are at risk from malicious software, as are your medical implants and the smart thermostat in your home.

A device that is designed for sneaky code execution and is legally off-limits to independent auditing is bad. A world of those devices — devices we put inside our bodies and put our bodies inside of — is fucking terrifying.

DRM is bad news for our technological future, but it’s also terrible news for our commercial future. Because DMCA 1201 bans trafficking in circumvention devices under any circumstances, manufacturers who design their products with a thin skin of DRM around them can make using those products in the ways you prefer into a literal crime — what Jay Freeman calls “felony contempt of business model.”

The most obvious example of this is in the Right to Repair fight. Devices from tractors and cars to insulin pumps, wheelchairs and ventilators have been redesigned to use DRM to detect and block independent repair, even when the technician uses the manufacturer’s own parts. These devices are booby-trapped so that any “tampering” requires a new authorization code from the manufacturer, which is only given to the manufacturer’s own service technicians.

This allows manufacturers to gouge you on repair and parts, or to simply declare your device to be beyond repair and sell you a new one. Global, monopolistic corporations are drowning the planet in e-waste as a side-effect of their desire to block refurbished devices and parts from cutting into their sales of replacements:.

DRM laws like DMCA 1201 are now all over the world, spread by the US Trade Representative, who made DRM laws a condition of trading with the USA, and a feature of the WTO agreement. Whether you’re in South America, Australia, Europe, Canada, Japan, or even China, DRM-breaking tools are illegal. But remember: DRM is a technological fool’s errand. So while there is no above-ground, legal market for DRM-breaking tools, there is still a thriving underground for them.

For example, farmers all over the world replace the software on their John Deere tractors with software of rumored Ukrainian origin that floats around on the internet. This software lets them fix their tractors without having to wait days for a $200 visit from a John Deere technician, but no one knows what’s in the software, or who made it, or whether it has sneaky back-doors or other malicious code.

And yet, manufacturers keep putting DRM in their products. The prospect of making it a felony to displease your corporate shareholders is just too much to resist.

Which brings me back to Audible. Back before Amazon owned Audible, I bought thousands of dollars’ worth of Audible audiobooks, and they worked great — but they failed badly. When I switched operating systems and could no longer get an Audible playback program, I was in danger of losing my audibook investment. In the end, I had to rig up three old computers to play my Audible audiobooks out in real time and recapture them as plain old MP3s. It took weeks. If I’d made the switch a couple years later, it would have been months (the “audiobooks” folder on my current system has 281 days’ worth of audio!).

Amazon bought Audible during a brief interval in which the company was taking on DRM. They had just launched the Amazon MP3 store, as a rival to Apple’s iTunes Store, which sold music without DRM, so users wouldn’t be locked to Apple’s platform. This was a problem the music industry had just woken up to, after years of demanding DRM, they realized that nearly all the digital music they’d ever sold was locked to Apple’s platform, and that meant that Apple got to decide whether and how their catalog was sold.

Amazon’s MP3 store’s slogan was “DRM: Don’t Restrict Me.” They even sent me a free t-shirt to promote the launch, because they knew my feelings on DRM.

When Amazon announced its Audible acquisition, they promised that they would remove DRM from the Audible store, and I rejoiced. Then, after the acquisition…nothing. Not a word about DRM. The Amazon PR people who’d once enthusiastically pitched me on Amazon’s DRM-free virtue stopped answering my email.

When I got new PR pitches from Amazon, I’d reply by asking about DRM and I’d never hear from those PR people again. I got invited to give a talk at Amazon and I said sure, I’d do it for free — but I wanted to talk to someone from Audible about DRM. The invitation was rescinded.

Once on a book-tour, I gave a talk at Goodreads — another Amazon division — about my work and when they asked if I had any questions for them, I raised Audible’s DRM and the senior managers in the audience promised to look into it. I never heard from them again.

Today, Audible dominates the audiobook market. In some verticals, their market-share is over 90 percent! And Audible will not let authors or publishers opt out of DRM. If you want to publish an audiobook with Audible, you must let them add their DRM to it. That means that every time one of your readers buys one of your books, they’re locking themselves further into Audible. If you sell a million bucks’ worth of audiobooks on Audible, that’s a million bucks your readers have to forfeit to follow you to a rival platform.

As a rightsholder, I can’t authorize my users to strip off Audible’s DRM and switch to a competitor. I can’t even find out which of my readers bought my books from Audible and send them a download code for a free MP3. Even when I invest tens of thousands of dollars of my own money to hire professional narrators to record my audiobooks, if I sell them on Audible, they get the final say in how my readers use the product I paid to create. If I provide my readers with a tool to unwrap Audible’s DRM from my copyrighted books, I become a copyright infringer! I violate Section 1201 of the DMCA and I can go to prison for five years and face a $500,000 fine. For a first offense.

All of this is so glaringly terrible that it prompted me to coin Doctorow’s First Law:

“Any time someone puts a lock on something that belongs to you, but won’t give you the key, that lock is not there for your benefit.”

It’s been more than a decade since Amazon bought Audible and it’s clear that their DRM policy isn’t going anywhere.

Which is why none of my audiobooks are available on Audible.

I don’t want to contribute to the DRM-ification of our devices, turning them into a vast, unauditable attack-surface that is designed to run programs that we can’t see or terminate. I don’t want my work to be a lure into a DRM-poisoned platform. I don’t want to make myself beholden to Amazon, locking my customers to its platform with every sale.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have audiobooks — I do! Early on, I worked with great audiobook publishers like Random House and Blackstone and Macmillan to produce DRM-free audiobooks which were sold everywhere except Audible. But Audible has the vast majority of the market, and it just didn’t make financial sense for these publishers to pay me a decent sum for my audio rights and then pay great narrators and engineers to produce books.

So I started retaining my audio rights in my book deals, and paying to record my own audiobooks. The first one was Information Doesn’t Want to Be Free, recorded by @wilwheaton​, with introductions by @neil-gaiman​ and Amanda Palmer, which explains Doctorow’s First Law in detail.

Since then, I’ve produced many more independent audiobooks, including the audio for Homeland (the bestselling sequel to my YA novel Little Brother, also narrated by Wil), Walkaway (a fabulous multi-cast audiobook starring Amber Benson, Wil Wheaton, Amanda Palmer, Miron Willis, Gabrielle de Cuir and others), and Attack Surface (the third Little Brother book, narrated by Amber Benson).

Generally, these books recoup and make a little money besides, but not nearly so much as I’d make if I sold through Audible. My agent tells me that if I’d been willing to set aside my ethics and allow Audible to slap DRM on my books, I’d have made enough money to pay off my mortgage and save enough to pay for my kid’s entire college education.

That’s a price I’m willing to pay. In the years since the Amazon acquisition, Audible has become the 800-pound gorilla of audiobooks. They have done all kinds of underhanded things — like buying up the first couple books in a series and releasing them as Audible-only recordings, then refusing to record the rest of the series, orphaning it. They’re also notorious among narrators for squeezing their hourly rates lower than anyone else. Audible also refuses to sell into libraries, so all the “Audible Original” titles are blocked from our public library systems.

I think audiences get that there’s something really wrong with a system where a single company controls an entire literary format. In 2020, I Kickstarted the independent audiobook of Attack Surface and broke every record for audiobook crowdfunding, raising $276,000.

But Audible continues to dominate. It is the only digital audiobook channel Amazon will allow, so anyone who searches Amazon for a book will only see the Audible audio edition. It’s also the exclusive audio partner for Apple’s iTunes/Apple Books channel, which is the only iOS audiobook store that doesn’t have to pay Apple a 30 percent commission on all its sales, so it’s the only audiobook store that lets you actually buy new audiobooks.

Other audiobook stores require you to buy your books with a web-browser (which avoids Apple’s sky-high commissions) and then switch back to the app to download them — a clunky experience that has ensured that Apple’s own audiobook channel — with its mandatory DRM — is the only one iOS customers really use.

Not surprisingly, a lot of people assume that if an Audible search for an author or book comes up empty, that means there is no audiobook available. They don’t think of searching for the book on Google Books, or Libro.fm, or Downpour. They never think to check to see whether the author maintains their own storefront, as I do, where you can get all their ebooks and audiobooks without DRM.

That’s bad enough, but it gets worse. So much worse.

Audible has a side-hustle called ACX: it’s a “self-serve” platform where writers and narrators can team up to self-produce their own audiobooks, which are locked to Audible’s platform and encumbered with Audible’s DRM.

ACX has some nominal checks to ensure that the audiobooks that land on its platform are duly licensed from the rightsholders, but these are trivial to circumvent. Here’s how I know that: on multiple occasions, I’ve discovered that my own books have been turned into unauthorized audiobooks over ACX.

Scammers claiming to have the rights to my books commission narrators to record them on the cheap, with the promise of a royalty split when they are live. Inexperienced narrators, excited at the prospect of recording a major book by a bestselling author, put long, grueling hours into recording them. Then the book goes live, and I discover it, and have it taken down. The scammer disappears with the profits from the sales in the interim, and the narrator is screwed.

As am I.

Because these illegal ACX audiobooks compete with my own, self-produced editions, for which I pay narrators, directors and editors a fair wage for their creative labor. These unauthorized ACX audiobooks show up in searches for my name on Audible and Amazon, where my own (vastly superior, authorized) DRM-free audiobooks are not allowed.

This isn’t an isolated incident. It’s happened over and over again. It just happened again.

Last week, I heard from Shawn Hartel, a narrator who got scammed on ACX by someone calling themself “Barbara M. Rushing,” who told Hartel that they held the audio rights to my 2017 novel Walkaway. They do not have those rights.

I spent about $50,000 recording a stupendous audiobook edition of Walkaway, which you can buy here for $24.95.

This audiobook has met with widespread critical acclaim and the print edition has been translated and celebrated around the world. But Hartel didn’t know that.

On January 11, 2021, he accepted an offer from “Barbara M. Rushing” to record the book and worked long hours to produce a 16-hour narration. On February 1, 2021, the book was accepted by Rushing. On July 7, 2021, ACX listed Walkaway for sale. On November 9, 2021, ACX took the book down, having figured out that it was infringing.

In the meantime, Rushing sold 119 copies and gave away ten more, diverting people from buying my own, DRM-free edition.

129 times $24.95 is $3,218.55, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s what Amazon owes me.

Now, I’m not going to sue them (probably). I don’t have the money or time to fight that kind of battle. For one thing, I have eight books (four novels, a YA graphic novel, a short story collection and two nonfiction books) in various stages of production right now, and I’m going to be producing my own audio editions for them, which is going to suck up a lot of time.

But Amazon does owe me $3,218.55.

I don’t expect they’ll pay it.

Anyone who’s paid attention to Audiblegate knows about Amazon’s dirty ACX dealing. The company has been credibly accused of more than $100 million in wage-theft from ACX authors and narrators, whom it has scammed with a combination of a one-sided refunds policy and out-and-out accounting fraud.

I know a lot about Audiblegate because there’s a whole chapter about it in Chokepoint Capitalism: How Big Tech and Big Content Captured Creative Labor Markets and How We’ll Win Them Back, the book on creative labor markets that Rebecca Giblin and I wrote for Beacon Press:

Chokepoint Capitalism explains how large media and tech companies have cornered the markets for creative labor, and why giving creators more copyright won’t unrig this rigged game. The tech and entertainment giants are like bullies at the school gate who shake down creators for their lunch money every day.

To reach your audience you have to go through the chokepoints they have erected, and when you do, any additional copyright powers Congress has granted you is taken away as a condition of entry (think of how Audible nonconsensually takes away your right to use DRM law if you want to list your audiobooks).

If you give your bullied kid more lunch money, you won’t buy them lunch — you’ll just make the bullies at the school-gate richer. Giving creators more copyright inevitably results in those copyrights being transferred to Amazon and other monopolists. To get lunch for your kid — or justice for creators — you have to get rid of the chokepoints.

That’s what Chokepoint Capitalism is really about — not just how the markets got rigged, but how to fix them, with a list of shovel-ready, practical actions for local governments, national legislatures, artists’ groups, as well as creators, technologists and audiences.

We’re going to be rolling out a crowdfunding campaign for the Chokepoint Capitalism audiobook in a couple of weeks (the book comes out in mid-September). We’ve scored an incredible narrator, Stefans Rudnicki, who you may have heard on the Ender’s Game books, Hubris by Michael Isikoff and David Corn, or any of 1,000 other audiobooks. Stefan’s won a Stoker, a Bradbury, dozens of Audies and Earphones, two Grammys, and two Hugos. It’s gonna be fucking great.

And it won’t be available on Audible. Who owe me $3,218.55.

But you know what will*be available on Audible?

This. This essay, which I am about to record as an audiobook, to be mastered by my brilliant sound engineer John Taylor Williams, and will thereafter upload to ACX as a self-published, free audiobook.

Perhaps you aren’t reading these words off your screen. Perhaps you are an Audible customer who searched for my books and only found this odd, short audiobook entitled: “Why none of my books are available on Audible: And why Amazon owes me $3,218.55.”

I send you greetings, fellow audiobook listener!

I invite you to buy all my audiobooks at prices lower than Amazon’s, free from DRM and unencumbered by comedy-of-the-absurd “user agreements” that no one in their right mind would ever*agree to. They are for sale at craphound.com/shop.

Among those audiobooks, the $15 edition of Information Doesn’t Want to Be Free, where I explain not just Doctorow’s First Law, but also my Second and Third Laws (my agent was Arthur C. Clarke’s agent; when I told him I had come up with “Doctorow’s Law,” he told me that I needed three laws). As noted, this is superbly read by Wil Wheaton, and Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer read their own intros:

Of course, you will only find this book if Amazon ACX accepts it. I’ve combed quite carefully through their terms of service and I don’t see anything that would disqualify this from being listed as an ACX book.

But then again, they say they ban books produced without permission from the copyright holder and we’ve seen how that works out, right? From poking around on ACX, it looks like Amazon’s main way of checking whether a user has the rights to a book is by looking in Amazon’s catalog to see if there’s already an audiobook edition. That means that if a writer refuses to sell on Audible because of their DRM policies, Audible will use that boycott as an excuse to let ripoff artists bilk the writer, the narrator and the listeners — because if there’s no Audible edition, they assume that the audio rights must be up for grabs.

Will Audible let me use its platform to give away a book that criticizes Audible? Or will they exercise their overwhelming market power to both abet a $3,218.55 ripoff and suppress a critique of their role in that ripoff?

Only time will tell.

#

[Image ID: A screengrab of the ACX page for the audiobook, showing that it is 'pending audio review]

Addendum: I wrote the above on July 4, 2022, just before submitting the audiobook to Amazon and leaving for a holiday. Over the past two weeks, I've checked in with ACX daily, but the audiobook still shows as "Pending Audio Review." ACX advises that this process should take a maximum of ten business days. It's been 15. Perhaps they're very backlogged.

Or maybe they're hoping that if they delay the process long enough, I'll give up. In the meantime, there is now a Kindle edition of this text:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B5RWTPR7/

I had to put this up, it's a prerequisite for posting the audio to ACX. I hadn't planned on posting it, but since they made me, I did.

[Image ID: A screengrab of the Kindle listing page for my ebook showing it as the number one new release in antitrust.]

Bizarrely, this is currently the number one new Amazon book on Antitrust Law!

Also bizarrely - given the context - this book was taken down for several days due to a spurious copyright issue over the cover art, a cack-handed collage of some Creative Commons icons I put together with The GIMP. Amazon flagged this as a copyright violation (despite correct Creative Commons attribution) and took the book down, demanding that I change the cover art, ignoring my explanations. I was ultimately able to get the book restored by contacting someone I know at Amazon legal, who intervened.

I don't know if Amazon will ever release my audiobook, but I hope they do. In the meantime, you can listen to the audiobook of this essay for free via my podcast:

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_431/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_431_-_Why_none_of_my_books_are_available_on_Audible.mp3

#

ETA: Within a few hours of my publishing this thread, ACX released my audiobook. https://audible.com/pd/B0B7KH8KSD

Image: Paris 16 (modified)/CC BY-SA 4.0; Dmitry Baranovskiy (modified) CC BY 4.0

[Image ID: An anti-pickpocketing graphic featuring a stick figure reaching into an adjacent stick-figure's shoulder-bag. The robber's chest is emblazoned with an Amazon 'a' logo. The victim's chest is emblazoned with an icon of a fountain-pen. The robber's face has an Amazon 'smile' logo. The victim's face has an inverted Amazon 'smile' logo (and is thus frowning). Beneath these two figures is a wordmark reading 'Audible: Am Amazon Company.']

#audible #amazon #amazongate #creator economy #ripoffs #drm #digital rights management #audiobooks #books #publishing #writing #monopoly #doctorow's first law #pluralistic

[corvidpaws]

🪻🦋 GENESIS. 🔮📋

kirby oc tournament entry.

“Lucky is she, who lives unaware, who doesn’t get bothered by all that’s unfair…”

PERSONALITY.

Genesis is a kind, caring figure haunted by a past only they remember- and it doesn’t matter too much in the grand scheme of things, anyway. They have taken on the role of a therapist, and their personality generally fits the stereotypical view of a therapist. Of course, they aren’t without their flaws- often trying too hard to reach a goal or blaming everything on themselves.

BACKSTORY.

Genesis is from the Forgotten Land. Or, as the residents prefer to call it, the New World.

Their origins are mostly hidden. I mean, you don’t really want to tell people that- well. I’m not going to tell you their secrets. That’s just rude. They’ll tell you when they’re ready.

Hopefully.

All I can tell you is that they have a strange connection to Fecto Forgo.

Oh, well, I’ll tell you a bit more.

Let’s see… I’m sure it was written down somewhere around here.

“Since it’s capture, ID-F85 has only shown activity once- it’s brain patterns seem to suggest that it is dreaming. But that is a fanciful observation, and we are not fanciful people. A monster cannot dream.” — Retired Lab Discovera Tour, Year Unknown

The creature known as Fecto Elfilis had split into two- Fecto Forgo and Elfilin. The Ancients had long abandoned the planet, taking off to Shiver Star. Imprisoned, alone, unable to move and lost in a world without any creatures capable of thought- yet, they drifted. They dreamed. And in their dreams surfaced memories.

A land of dust and fire. A trickster magician.

A world of flora. A sorrowful spindler.

And their own great form, lost to the cruel experiments of the people who lived here, so desperate to leave.

From those dreams, came Genesis. A creation of stardust and love. They wandered throughout the abandoned land, watching as the beasts gained intelligence, and talking with them. When trapped in a collapsing tunnel, they met Elfilin, who saved them. The two then became friends.

They also met Gamma Knight, who landed in the forgotten land after [REDACTED]. Genesis helped them flee to [REDACTED].

When the Beast Pack was formed, Genesis stayed out of the way, recognising the work of their progenitor. But when Elfilin was captured, they followed Kirby from a distance, leaving behind Maxim Tomatoes and vanishing without a trace.

When Elfilis was defeated, Elfilin and Genesis reunited, and the former took the latter to Dreamland, where they both settled.

And they decided to settle on a rather successful career.

It had been a solid five hours since Kirby had started telling Genesis about the 'monsters' they'd fought, with Dedede and Meta Knight himself chipping in when needed; sometimes to explain their actions while the puffball had been defeating the newest threat to Popstar, sometimes to correct him or add a detail. But instead of getting frustrated or tired, Genesis had only listened politely, nodding as they talked. […] "Those monsters you fought... I'd be terrified, honestly. But you've survived all of it, and you're still here, ready to face the next battle, and that means you're exceptionally resilient. But life isn't all about battles." Genesis continued. "It's pretty late, so I'll end the session here, but think about it. Come back if you need to." — Chapter Two, Session One, These Creatures I’ve Seen

Well, that wasn’t a bit more, that was a lot more. But there are still some mysteries. Will you uncover them? Let’s find out.

OTHER.

Themes:

The Dream Discoveries Tour Juliet - Cavetown Blow My Brains Out - Tikkle Me Gilded Lily - Cults Meteor Shower - Cavetown Treehouse - Alex G

Toyhou.se Page: https://toyhou.se/22030569.genesis Ginjka Design: Here

“Unlucky me, who knows way too much, and fights to make changes through music and such, unlucky me, aware of the pain, all ‘cause I happen to have some brain…”

@kirbyoctournament sorry about the lore dump! It will happen again

#genesis #kirby #kirby oc #kirby oc tournament #lore #oc lore #kirby oc lore #kirby and the forgotten land spoilers #for the banners lol #so excited for this!! did a poll in a discord server and the result was a resounding yes #so here i am #let’s see how this goes

[lqtraintracks]

I was tagged to do a Wip Snip by @tackytigerfic and @wolfpants -- thank you both so much!!! --but I thought I’d share this opening scene from the rejected version of my Suds which will never see the light of day otherwise (inspired by @nv-md sharing her rejected first attempt at Suds too).

I started it this way and then decided it wasn’t the tone I wanted, the tense, or where I wanted the story to start, so my actual Suds will be quite different, but I still love this scene and think it’s quite funny, so... Here is my rejected Suds scene:

***

“The Goblet of Fire? Are you bloody—?”

Luna hit Harry with an unsubtle Silencio, which he immediately removed, but she’d made her point. He would have preferred to make his; it was a pretty good one, he thought.

“Professor Potter,” McGonagall began, “we were aware you might take issue with its use, but rest assured,” she spoke over him when he once again opened his mouth, “it has been tested for functionality, and is being used not for a ludicrous life-and-death tournament but only to decide which two professors will be staying at Hogwarts to mind the castle over the summer. Placing one’s name in the goblet was voluntary—”

“Yeah, that’s what they said the last time,” Harry grumbled.

“ —and there is nothing magically binding about the outcome. In this case, it is little more than a random name generator in a cup’s body.”

Under his breath, Harry said, “Muggles use hats for this. Just… hats.”

As McGonagall prepared to cast the spell, Harry sighed, his gaze moving over the other teachers, landing finally on Malfoy, standing across the way, his arms crossed and a small scowl on his face. Whether he was scowling in support of Harry or because of Harry could not be determined. Their eyes met, held a moment, and then Malfoy dropped his gaze away.

“Goblet,” McGonagall addressed the cup, and it began to glow a sickly purple that Harry remembered all too well. “Please reveal the name of the first person designated to stay at the castle over the summer.”

The cup shook mid-air; it shimmied; it made an alarming rattling sound. Then it farted out a cloud of purple and a piece of parchment. McGonagall took it from where it swayed on tiny air currents like a feather. She looked at it. She pursed her lips. Chagrined perhaps, she cleared her throat and said quietly, “Harry Potter.”

“WHAT?”

She held up the slip. “It… says your name.”

“I didn’t put my name in the blasted cup!” Harry shouted.

“I believe you,” she said, cheeks colouring. “We will draw a third name, Mr Potter; you are exempt.”

“Thank you,” he said, much aggrieved, and Neville, on the other side of him from Luna, squeezed his arm in sympathy.

“Goblet,” McGonagall said again, this time with slightly less confidence, “please reveal the name of the second person… or perhaps it’s now the first, if we’re not allowed a third. At any rate, please give us another name for whomever is to stay at the castle over the summer.” She ended with a small ‘ahem’, and the lot of them waited for the cup to shake, rattle, and roll. It did. And then it belched out the new name.

“Draco Malfoy.” McGonagall held the parchment aloft.

Harry’s gaze shot to Malfoy again, and Malfoy, looking at McGonagall, gave a short nod of acceptance, having apparently legitimately placed his name in the stupid cup.

“Thank you, Mr Malfoy,” McGonagall said. Then, “Goblet!”

“Wait!” Harry said without having meant to say anything at all.

McGonagall waited. Everyone waited. When Harry said nothing further, Luna prodded him with the end of her wand. The pointy end.

“Oh, erm. Never mind,” he said sheepishly, dropping his gaze to the floor as his cheeks heated up.

“Very well,” said McGonagall. “Goblet!”

“No!” Harry blurted. Then, warbling with uncertainty, “Wait?”

“What is it, Professor Potter?”

“I’ve uh…” He looked up at Malfoy, gulped. Malfoy was frowning openly now, but in a worried way, like he thought this was finally it; Potter’s gone and lost his ever-loving mind. Harry really couldn’t contest that. Still, he shifted his weight and stammered, “I-I’ll stay. I’ll stay at the castle.” And then, mortifyingly, “It’s cool and all.”

“It’s cool and all?” McGonagall said, becoming even more prim and Scottish than usual.

Harry nodded. “No need to risk the cup malfunctioning any more than it already has. Plus… I like Hogwarts.”

She softened, hearing the last. “Well, if you are quite certain.”

Harry, against his better judgement, looked right at Malfoy then—at his indecipherable expression and frosty grey eyes. Harry said, “I am.”

And that was that.

***

Again, not my actual Suds, but I hope you liked it! 

I’ll tag: @the-starryknight @amywaterwings @thebooktopus @softlystarstruck @nerdherderette @t4tdrarry and @veelawings if you want to play! <3

#suds but not suds #drarry snippet #wip snip

[lucy-sky]

Ink (Griff x f!Reader)

Tushy Tuesday prompts: doggy position; spanking (well... just once :'D)

You've got a surprise for Griff for your anniversary.

Warnings: you can see them in the prompts + a bit of fingering and Griff being kinda possessive; also please think before having someone’s name tattooed on you :DD

Words: 752; AO3 link if you prefer reading there

A/N: Literally last minute kind of thing - I wrote it late at night after visiting my relatives and having a few glasses of champagne, also I've never written Griff before, so I apologize if this one sucks :'DD

“Whoa!” Griff exclaims as you open the door, “Damn, sweetheart… You missed me that much?”

Being with Griff sure as hell is a wild ride. He could disappear for weeks, hiding from the police after another criminal shit he got himself into, then storm back into your life like a hurricane sweeping you off your feet. Your friends told you you’ve lost your mind, and maybe they’re not completely wrong after all, but… You know Griff loves you in his own way, you know he would fight for you, and maybe that’s what keeps you together for such a long while. Today’s your first anniversary - a year ago you met him at a local bar and the spark between you was so bright that you ended up in bed together on that same night. Who knew it’s gonna be something more than a drunken one night stand?

You’re well prepared for the occasion: a new set of lingerie only slightly covered with a silk dressing gown that you didn’t bother to tie up, heels (you’re not really into them but something tells you you’re not gonna walk much tonight) and stockings, of course. From the way Griff is eyeing you right now, licking his lips as if you’re his favorite dessert, you can tell the outfit choice was right.

“Course I did, baby… I always miss you,” you smirk, impatiently tugging him inside and closing the door shut before wrapping your arms around him. “What about you, tough guy? Did you miss me?” 

“How d’you think?” he goes in a low raspy voice before crushing his lips on yours in a fiery kiss as if he’s about to devour you. Griff’s kisses are furious, possessive, almost bruising, all teeth and tongue, and it never fails to make your knees go weak.

“I got a surprise for you,” you whisper in your most sultry tone as you push Griff’s jacket down his shoulders.

“Oh yeah, is that a good one?” he chuckles, squeezing your backside in a firm grip to pull you even closer.

“You’ll see.”

His clothes are quickly discarded as well as your dressing gown somewhere on the way to the bedroom. Your lips are already swollen with passionate kisses as you land on the bed.

“Shit, look at you, sweetheart - you’re fuckin’ gorgeous! I’d eat you alive, I swear,” Griff might not be the most poetic guy when it comes to compliments, but he always sounds like he hundred percent means it. “Wanna get on all fours for me, darlin’?”

There it is, the moment you’ve been waiting for. Biting your lip, you obey, slowly turning your back to him, revealing a new tattoo on your lower back.

“Wait, uh… Is that real?” you can feel his fingers brushing against your skin.

“It is, yep,” you reply, glancing at him over your shoulder. “Lost my tattoo virginity a couple of weeks ago. You like it?”

“That’s pretty hot, not gonna lie,” he leans down, pressing kisses along the curve of your spine while his big hands squeeze and knead your buttcheeks. “Is that your surprise, huh?”

“Well it’s actually even hotter if you look closer…” you hint. You’re actually kinda proud of this design. At first glance it looks just like a random pattern, but an attentive viewer can notice the letters…

“Holy shit, is that… Is that my name?”

“Uh-huh. You like being an inspiration for my very first tattoo?” you chuckle.

“Shit, babe. That’s real sexy of you. Get over here,” he groans, seizing your hips. You giggle as he keeps grunting while tugging down your panties using his teeth. Being too impatient though he helps himself with his hands, and you gasp out loud when his fingers find their way between your folds.

“That’s my girl. So wet for me,” he praises, curling his fingers at exactly the right angle, his thumb grazing against your clit.

“Hey sweetheart,” his voice rumbles above you as you melt in the blissful sensations of his fingers inside you. “Did you uh… When you got the tattoo… you didn’t have to take off your pants, did ya?”

“What?” you snort, “Of course not, are you kidding me? It’s not on my butt or something, why would I- oh!” you let out a whimper when his free hand lands on your butcheek with a hard smack. 

“Good,” he hums contently, withdrawing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of his cock. “‘Cause that sweet ass of yours only belongs to me.”

Thank you for reading!

#bernthirstpalooza #griff x reader #baby driver #jon bernthal fanfiction #lucy tries to write #darlingshane

[runwayrunway]

No. 17 - A Gay Plane Has Landed (A Rainbow Twitter Icon Livery Compilation)

Yep, it’s that time again! As we wrap up the yearly scheduled month of concentrated rainbow Capitalism, let’s go over some of the paint jobs airlines have used as a much more expensive variant of changing your Twitter icon to a rainbow version for the month of June, immediately after it stops being actually timely.    

To be clear: I am not rating the liveries as a whole. Those get their own posts. I am rating the modifications made to the livery for the occasion. I am judging this, not on overall quality, but on creativity and shamelessness. I want to see a tastefully designed plane that will make homophobic people get mad when they find out it’s operating their flight for as long to come as possible. 

It is not activism and it means nothing, but it has the potential to be somewhat funny, and I think the task of integrating a big gaudy rainbow flag into what’s otherwise a regular airline livery is an interesting and difficult one, and it’s fun to see different airlines to take on the same challenge. It also gives me a chance to review a bunch of special liveries that only change part of the design, as opposed to the ones I’ve already covered which invent a full new paint scheme. Some airlines even had multiple goes at it!

I just want to make my stance abundantly and unambiguously clear. This is not a sincere appreciation of a conglomerate of millionaires deciding they’ll make more money if they paint rainbows on their plane. This is me rating airline liveries.   

N653GT (Amerijet International for DHL)

I begin with N653GT because she flew directly over my house at 4,500 feet maybe a month and a half ago at time of writing. I’m a bit sad that I didn’t get a picture because it was nearly midnight, but not too sad, because it’s not like it’d be recognizable as anything except a DHL plane. I’m unsure if this was Amerijet International’s idea, DHL’s idea, or a mixture of both, but calling it an idea is honestly even generous. You could easily just not notice that there’s anything different about this livery at all. 

Grade: D

D-AEAS (DHL)

Unlike the prior airframe, this plane is registered in Germany (rather than the US) and is part of DHL’s fleet proper. I do think I prefer this to the Amerijet incarnation, both because it’s more visible and because the diagonal lines blend with the body at least somewhat. Couldn’t they have extended the red one a bit, though? That color literally already exists in their color scheme. 

Unfortunately, D-AEAS seems to have been repainted to the vanilla DHL livery sometime in October 2022. 

Grade: C-

D-AEAR / “Delivered With Pride” (EAT Leipzig for DHL)

I’m almost angry because I do think this is very well done. It sort of combines the two prior attempts and turns them into something much better. This implies that they’re learning. 

Relocating the rainbow DHL symbol to the top of the tail solves that weird spacing issue with the gap at the end which the Amerijet incarnation had. It also makes the rainbow tail far more dynamic by giving it the distinct curve of an actual rainbow, then improving it even further by stretching it rather than making it perfectly circular, which adds even more visual interest. I really like how this covers the often-neglected sort of concave line where the vertical stabilizer actually meets the top fuselage, which is often ignored in liveries that bother to integrate the tail with the fuselage proper. I find that in this case the dynamic nature of the curved rainbow actually makes me feel like this tail is part of the fuselage proper despite there being no paint which actually leaves it, an effect probably aided by the fact that the yellow line of the rainbow directly flows into the main yellow of the livery. The fact that the red in the rainbow is also present in the rest of the DHL livery prevents it from feeling unbalanced despite the fact that the main logo is unmodified. 

This livery is very new. Hilariously, I think it was only applied around the 15th or so. I doubt this will happen, but it would be hilarious if they removed it immediately after the end of the month. I also sort of hope they don’t, because this is a pretty solid rainbow plane. (...it would be very funny though.)

Grade: B+

D-AINY / “Lovehansa” (Lufthansa)

While I generally dislike the Lufthansa livery so much that I made this blog, I have to give them props for a tasteful pride integration. It’s neither garish nor negligible, and as a little bonus the interior also has a rainbow motif. I hope at least one German was very shrill and indignant about having to rest their neck on the dreaded gay antimacassar. 

It does feel like somebody thought about this, unlike the Lufthansa livery as a whole. And it will be graded as such, independent from the Lufthansa livery as a whole, which I still hatehansa.

Grade: B-

N854VA (Alaska Airlines) 

I really like Alaska���s take on the pride theme.  It actively adds something to the design of the livery without overpowering it - this is still recognizable as an Alaska Airlines plane but also as a pride plane. The font chosen is fine and the little airplanes are cute. It’s nice. It’s tasteful. It’s delightful. I’ll be honest, it got a smile out of me even though my emotional investment in the concept of a gay pride plane is less than minimal, just because I think the little airplanes are a nice and cute design. 

Apparently a lesbian couple got engaged on a flight operated by this plane. Good for them, I guess. A lot of these airlines operate “pride flights” (???) which as far as I can tell are just like a flying club night with the sort of people who would pay money to attend such an event, which sounds utterly miserable to me, but I’m here to talk about the liveries, not any of this. It just felt worth including a mention of at some point, as this seems to be an industry-wide phenomenon even with airlines which operate no rainbow planes, and this is the only one of the planes which I have any reason to believe hosted a gay marriage proposal. So do with that what you will. In my case, I’ll do nothing. 

N854VA was stored in December of 2022, but is only 11 years old, so surely she’s still airworthy. I’m just saying, if anyone from Alaska Airlines is reading this: bring her back. 

Grade: A-

LX-LQC “Be Pride. Be Luxembourg” (Luxair)

I’m a little conflicted here, because the paint splash isn’t the worst concept ever for a rainbow addition but it is just added to the existing white part without modifying the existing livery otherwise and doesn’t do anything especially interesting. It somehow feels small despite being large. Your eyes could honestly glaze over it. That’s sort of one of the hazards of propliner liveries but that’s no excuse. At the same time it’s far too large. It feels clumsy, haphazard. I don’t really think I care for it. The rainbow logo on the nacelles is a decent touch but not nearly enough to save it. 

The airframe was repainted in the standard Luxair livery in December 2022. Still, while they are no longer Pride, they are, to the best of my knowledge, still Luxembourg. 

Grade: D+

VH-QPJ “Rainbow Roo” (Qantas) 

One of the earliest examples of a pride plane comes from one of the oldest airlines still in operation. The A330 (GAY330, as it was called at the time) adopted her paint scheme in February 2017 in partnership with Sydney Mardi Gras and kept it until May 2018. A trailblazer for sure. I think the flag on the tail looks sort of bad, but just replacing the logo with a rainbow version is literally as obvious and simple of a pride livery as I can think of and I’m honestly fine with that. 

Grade: C-

I do, however, respect that the special flight they did for Sydney Mardi Gras included a Qantas-themed drag queen named Qantana. That said, it seems they hired a drag queen to perform as Qantana instead of there simply being a full-time Qantas-themed drag queen, and I have to say I’d respect it a lot more if someone had just committed to making Qantas camp to that degree. I mean, there’s an entire, what, three seasons of Aussie Drag Race? I’m just saying I feel like the fact that it hasn’t happened reflects poorly on Qantas’s general vibe. 

VH-EBL “Pride is in the Air” (Qantas)

As of February of this year, Qantas decided they were going to give it another shot. This new livery, not in partnership with anyone, is very similar to the original. Much like the original, it’s entirely fine. I do prefer the way that the flag’s stripes are ordered from left to right rather than top to bottom this time around, as it’s much more legible. They also seem to have updated to the progress flag instead of just the standard rainbow flag, and they’ve removed that weird out-of-place flag detail from the tail. Again, I think it could be improved by making the Qantas logo on the tail rainbow as well for balance, and on the nacelles for completeness, but the current state is absolutely fine. 

In all honesty this is probably objectively a C but I do feel the need to upgrade the rating slightly to acknowledge the subtle yet palpable improvement. That’s growth.

Grade: C+

C-GPTS (Air Transat)

Another gay330, this time from Canadian carrier Air Transat. Another simple replacement of the logo, though it does feel unbalanced. The rainbow on the light blue looks nice, I’ll give it that, but it’s super blink-and-you’ll-miss-it. I’m unsure why nobody thought of making the text rainbow too. Maybe to save paint? I say this because in a very blatant and literal variant of the changing your Twitter icon strategy, she only wore the livery for the month of June 2019 before being reverted to Air Transat’s standard. 

Grade: D

N247GS (Cape Air)

Cape Air is a regional carrier based in...Cape Cod, shockingly. They’re very Cape Cod, not in a Kennedy way. I’ve had nothing but good experiences flying with them in the Caribbean, where they operate a tiny fleet of Britten-Norman Islanders, but they also do flights in the Northeast US and especially Cape Cod. They’re a nifty little airline and if you’re ever in a position to fly with them I recommend it - flying in a little 12-seater twin prop is a really unique experience compared to a full-size jet. 

This livery is fine, mostly just replacing the standard blue part of the Cape Air tail with a rainbow, but I like the extra touches on the engine nacelles and wheel pants. I also appreciate the airline’s statement that she’ll wear this livery for the rest of her service life. How long will that be? Good question - Cape Air is phasing out their Cessna 402 fleet for their new Tecnam P2012 Travellers, but they still have a pretty big fleet of them and they seem to be going strong. N47GS in particular is 41 years old, which sounds outrageous but isn’t particularly eyebrow-raising for this sort of plane, and she seems to be in good nick, so here’s to many more years of service. Go grandma!

Grade: C+

G-SAJE “Pride Jet /  Jet Pròis” “Flying's for all” (Loganair)

I truly struggle to figure out how to rate this, because this particular plane looks...borderline featureless before modification. I do sort of like what they’ve done here, in the sense that it reminds me of SAS’s old belly stripes livery and it looks very clean and all that. I think I would really like this on most other liveries, but it’s hard to accept it just slapped on a plane white plane. It’s not integrated into the livery because there’s nothing to integrate it into. I don’t know, I feel like there could have at least been something to match the tartan pattern? I’m not going to turn this into a general Loganair review but the tartan is so underused here and I think at least changing the stripes to a sort of diagonal weave pattern would do a lot to make it fit better. I just don’t know. With a canvas this blank it’s hard to think of specific ideas but this leaves me feeling very wanting and unsatisfied. Come on, Loganair. The sentence ‘Scottish regional airline with tartan-based livery’ leaves me frothing at the mouth, you’ve got to pull yourself together because the potential is way higher than the service ceiling on that plane! (...wait, the ERJ-145 has a 37,000ft ceiling? Why did I expect that to be so much lower? Good for her.)

This livery is also hot off the presses, June 2023 release. 

This really is hamstrung by the absolute nothing it’s working with beforehand. I definitely think this is more elegant than Luxair’s attempt but the livery is so bare to begin with. I guess - I said I’m judging this exclusively by the pride addition, but it’s so hard to not interpret it holistically. I’m too good at my job :/

Anyway. It’s fine but the canvas is so underwhelming that I just can’t like it. Sorry. 

Grade: C-/D+

Thomas Cook Airlines

Thomas Cook actually had at least two pride planes (I’ve seen the number five tossed out but could only find these two - G-TCDE and G-MDBD - for sure). It’s...fine. Like, whatever. It’s a little heart that’s rainbow instead of the generic yellow Thomas Cook heart. It’s not too visible but I’d describe it as a sweet little touch. I prefer it to what Luxair did. It’s fine. I wish they did more, but it’s fine. I don’t think either of these liveries were left intact for terribly long, and there was no fanfare or reporting about either of these. Following Thomas Cook’s legendary 2019 implosion and the resulting record-setting peacetime repatriation of UK nationals G-TCDE is currently stored and in a default Thomas Cook livery, while G-MDBD is flying for a new airline in a new livery. No clue what happened to the other potential gay Thomas Cook planes, but I don’t think it matters either. 

Grade: C-

XA-MAQ (Aeroméxico)

The immediate impression is of an Air Transat or Thomas Cook-style tiny replaced element, but the more I dwell on XA-MAQ the more I appreciate her. Like, it is just the red stripe replaced with a rainbow one, but I’ve realised - and this is true of Thomas Cook’s fab (alleged) five as well - that replacing the logo on the tail without touching the rest of the fuselage or the nacelles ends up looking unbalanced, but replacing a little flourish avoids that and fits more smoothly into the rest of the design.  

Also, while both are small, the little ribbon isn’t the only touch. Immediately beneath it on the fuselage is text reading ‘volamos con orgullo’, which is Spanish for ‘we fly with pride’, if my Googling is correct. I find that pretty cute. No, it’s not a lot, but it’s cute. It’s at least an implication that more went into this design than checking off a box. A lot of the others, Air Transat in particular, feel very ‘oh, we made the logo rainbow, guess we’re done!’. 

Plus, bonus points for keeping the livery - it was first applied in June of 2021 and is still in service. 

Grade: B-

G-VPRD “Rain Bow” (Virgin Atlantic)

Wait...huh? This can’t possibly be the right plane, can it? This is just a normal Virgin livery. 

Wait. Wait a moment.

Zoom...enhance...

image: Virgin Atlantic)

That’s your pride livery? The entirety of your pride livery? Not a small part of a more interesting whole, not a large design that’s visible on the fuselage, this tiny...e-girl cheek decoration of a guy who looks vaguely fruity? This is your big move towards inclusivity that you brag about flying to Doha? 

I already dislike Richard Branson, but I will not forgive him for this particular act until he paints what will be renamed to GayceShipTwo entirely in rainbow colours with THIS PLANE IS GAY written in massive letters on it, and also sends me a million dollars directly shipped via GayceShipTwo to my local airport. Is the runway big enough to land it? No clue, but that’s going to be his problem to figure out and is none of my business. And then afterwards he will fly GayceShipTwo back to his house and land her on his own head, killing himself instantly. Likes charge, reblogs cast.

Grade: F

N724AV (Avianca)

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, all they’ve done is replace the barely-above-standard tail-only design with a rainbow. On the other hand, I do like that it’s not just a flag and has something actually visually interesting about it with the way it intersects itself. I do wish they’d also replaced the logo, nacelles, and winglets with the same rainbow pattern, but the general amount of things going on in the middle and front at least prevents it from feeling unbalanced. I mean, did they do an Air Transat? Sort of yes, but their livery is a lot less rear-heavy at base and there’s a lot more to look at here. 

I don’t know. I think it’s fine. Just fine. Can’t knock it too hard, but not exciting.

Grade: C-

                 __________________________________________

Well, that’s it for the good, the bad, and the Virgin Atlantic of every pride livery I could find record of. Let me know which tepid corporate gesture you found most aesthetically pleasing, and remember: I am doing my utmost to psychically harm Richard Branson with my malicious thoughts, and this medical equipment I’ve stolen is going to help me in this goal.  

I’ll have a couple more posts coming out about planes which aren’t gay pride planes but look like they might be, so keep an eye out for those tomorrow and Monday. 

#tarmac fashion week #a gay plane has landed #aeromexico #air transat #alaska airlines #amerijet international #avianca #cape air #eat leipzig #dhl #loganair #lufthansa #luxair #qantas #thomas cook airlines #virgin atlantic #special liveries #compilations #long haul

[mouschiwrites]

I’ve been inspired to try writing for Steven Universe by the lovely @digitalsiience!! I’ve always loved that show, so it was fun to experiment with some different characters/dynamics!!

Word count: 937

Steven Universe - The Agate and The Sapphire (Holly Blue Agate)

You smoothed your skirts as you stood, making your way to the ramp leading down to the hangar bay. You paused in the threshold, turning your head to look at your pearl, who was following close behind.

“You may stay here. They are sending an escort for me,” you assured her. She blinked, giving a little curtsy and staying put as you descended from the ship.

Just as you had predicted, there was a burly gem waiting at attention in the bay. Her narrowed eyes widened when they landed on you, and somehow her rigid posture became even straighter.

“My Sapphire,” she greeted, doing a poor job of hiding her amazement being in your presence. “It would be my honor to escort you to our most esteemed Diamond.”

You gave a single nod, gesturing to the hallway you knew led to the designated meeting room. This was one of the things you didn’t need your mystic foresight to know; you’d been here many times before. Though, admittedly, it had been a while since you visited the human zoo. Testament to this was the fact that you didn’t recognize your escort. She was an Agate; that’s all you could tell.

You followed her through the halls, the silence almost deafening. You never liked the way other gems could go on in such boring quiet; though socializing always did come with its anxieties, to you it was preferable to that horrid noiselessness.

“What may I call you?”

The Agate stiffened, her powerful gait faltering. She clearly hadn’t expected you to speak, and she seemed even flustered. She was looking at you with owlish eyes and darkening cheeks.

“My apologies. I am a Holly Blue Agate.”

“That’s a beautiful name.” And fitting, too, you decided. Her periwinkle skin accounted for the “blue” part, and she certainly looked like she’d be named “holly.” What did that even mean? You didn’t know. But she had strong features and a burly build, and her hair was piled in two rigid cones atop her head. Somehow this seemed like the exact image of what a “holly” should look like.

Her cheeks went darker. Then, waving her hand dismissively, she pressed on down the hall. “I’m one of thousands of Holly Blue Agates. I’m honored that you think our name is… worthy of compliment.”

You tried to think of something else to discuss (the meeting room was still quite a ways away), but Holly Blue Agate was suddenly distracted by a group of giggling guards.

“What have I told you about your tittering?” She snapped, turning on a pin to storm at the small group of Amethysts.

You blinked in surprise, not having expected this. It wasn’t that you were surprised at her outburst; no, that was just another unfortunate part of gem culture (which you also hated). It was more the fact that this gem, rigid as any you’d ever met, cared enough to disrupt her duties for the sake of reprimanding these Amethysts.

You frowned. Not only did you not see the necessity of stopping your task for such a negligible offense, but you couldn’t help but be offended for these Amethysts.

“Come now,” you chirped up, following your escort to the Amethysts. “Don’t be so harsh.”

You pressed your lips together as Holly Blue Agate just gaped at you; the Amethysts were doing the same. You took her by the wrist, giving a gentle squeeze that made her unfurl her fists, and led her away.

“Your excellency,” she balked, “they were—”

You held up your free hand to silence her. “I don’t care about your rules.” Your heart dropped when you realized what you’d just said. Rules were at the very core of gem society, and to denounce them like that… You might as well have just declared yourself a member of the resistance.

“What I mean,” you blurted, quick to try and salvage the situation, “is that… escorting me should be your priority.”

Holly Blue Agate nodded after an excruciating pause. “Of course. You are my priority. My apologies.”

“Don’t apologize.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. “You are… unlike the other Sapphires I’ve met. Not that that’s a bad thing, your excellency.”

You weren’t sure how to respond to that. On the one hand, you knew that other Sapphires were certainly more aloof and obedient than you, so you took it as a compliment. But on the other hand… in gem society, to be different was to be doomed to destruction. So you just frowned, grateful that the meeting chamber was coming up on your left.

“Good luck with your meeting,” Holly Blue Agate said, apparently on an impulse, as she darkened in the cheeks and put a hand over her mouth. “I mean… I will be waiting to escort you back to your ship.”

“Yes. I will be looking forward to it.”

You ducked into the room to hide your own darkening face. What had just happened? In all your years of service, nothing like that had ever happened. You’d never behaved so offensively, never betrayed your culture so blatantly. Affection between gems was the furthest thing from normal. You couldn’t believe you’d shown even the slightest of that taboo feeling, let alone to an Agate.

Little did you know that your escort was thinking the exact same thing on the other side of the door. She was conflicted between intrigue and horror, both at you and herself. Despite this, she couldn’t deny the odd little feeling in her chest that bubbled—was it that peculiar thing called excitement?—while she waited for you to come back to her.

Thank you so much for reading,, let me know if you guys would be interested in more Steven Universe stuff!! Take care my sweet doves <33

(divider by saradika)

#steven universe #steven universe x reader #holly blue agate #holly blue agate x reader #steven universe fanfic

[ran-orimoto]

If you could give the frontier kids a different spirit what would it be and if you could change the designs how would they be

Among the asks I’ve received in a month ,this feels so connected to my mood and I’m happy it gave me a kick-start for a new asks row!

Takuya: THUNDER⚡️. Face it: Junpei and Takuya are two sides of the same coin and have been given the most explosive elements matching that bursting bomb of personality they have got. There’s no other element I can see for someone as impulsive as Takuya ahahah. He also ends up in the Thunder circle when they land in Sephirotmon. HHHHH MY THUNDER-FIRE WISH CONNECTION. Due to ATLA, it works so perfectly to me, idk HHHHHHHH. And also imagine an Agnimon with electric hair… He already has got a mane similar to mine when my freaking hair gets messy.

Kouji: Wind🍃. Besides the fact he also ends up in the sphere of the Wind in the Sephirotmon, I think he has always had some sort of connection with the wind? Like, in ep 2 he comments about Digiworld’s wind, he is often represented with his long hair in this wind and he’s a free spirit. Wolfmon couldn’t be absolutely called such any more ahahhahah. But tbh he could also be a sort of ninja moving as fast as the gusts of wind? Kouji can use things such as steel bars (again, ep 2) and climbs mountains, can hide pretty well (the tickle scene episode), can survive to falls. He should take on kendo imo.

Izumi: Fire🔥. The concept of the phoenix, I beg? Imagine the arc of the stolen spirit being handled much better with not only Junpei caring about her own well-being, but also with her coming to terms with a little depression about being the weakest and going through a symbolic rebirth? I’m so obsessed with Izumi’s stolen spirit arc and how dirty it has made her because it barely focused on how she felt FROM HER PERSPECTIVE It’s not right Junpei had to be the vehicle of her emotions? And do things for her while she sat there?????? Izumi???? Moreover, if she got Fire, she would be the mc and I would love it; we would, wouldn’t we?

Junpei: Water💦. To be honest, Junpei would fit Wind as well and it would be hilarious because he wouldn’t go along with his element at all, a bit what I can see Izumi x Water to be, since she always drowns in lakes and seas. Junpei has got a little funny scene featuring him wanting to understand how to orientate through the wind and failing miserably (ep 2). Then, you also have got the EXHILARATING, well-known moment from ep 4, where he tries getting Izumi’s spirit and Fairymon just surpasses him at high speed🤣 (even if Junpei being attacked and Izumi yelling his name is what wakes Fairymon up). EHM, yeah, I could joke about that and also about someone heavy getting an element making him feel as light as a feather yet still retaining his weight. Again, funny, I’d be into it, I have got my hcs about a bond between Fairymon and Junpei, but I prefer imagining Thunder and Wind bonding with each other.

So I’m giving Junpei Water because he sings like a merman tempestous boy can get an element making it rain, generating storms but in another kind of form, in a more active fashion. No, I don’t want Junpei to completely part from his element because that’s an amazing part of his writing, despite how little attention it has got: his fear of thunders, which in a similar rewrite could become fear of storms in general. I don’t think Junpei has got that great relationship with rain, either, if I have to be sincere. That day he forgot the umbrella mustn’t have been that nice on his body. Moreover , do not forget his Beast spirit was found in the sea like Ranamon’s and Fairymon’s and I have always found it so fascinating. Wind x Thunder x Water, my beloved *cough* *cough*. Idk his spirit could be based on a whale and its chants. Kill me.

And now the same suffering point to overcome: Kouichi and Tomoki, whom I don’t think about that much and I always show it. I’m sorry, guys. I’m sorry. Junpei gets two paragraphs and he balances this miserable last part.

Tomoki🪨: Earth. And don’t ask me why Train of Hope has given me this idea of Tomoki ending up being so strict and determined and kinda “I’m a person with my feet firmly pressed against Earth”. In truth, in the anime he kinda was peetty determined and down to Earth (lmao), despite being such a baby? He had his values and held onto it during the Asuramon episode, showing how much he cared about them. Idk? This is my half-assed idea and I hate it, thank you. He could still be a bear, if you ask me. Something similar to Ursaluna.

Kouichi❄️: Because Kouichi can’t be parted from his near-to-death experience in any rewrite, if you ask me, and the only thing I can connect with death is ice and cold. Do I need to explain it…? No idea how he would look like. Something closer to Duskmon than Loweemon.

Thank you for the ask~💕

#digimon frontier #takuya kanbara #izumi orimoto #junpei shibayama #kouji minamoto #tomoki himi #kouichi kimura #junpei #izumi #takuya #kouji #kouichi #tomoki #no but I never show who I like the most in the cast #nono #asks

[sobeesknees]

Story of Seasons Needs to go Back to its Roots with its Art Style: A War Against 3D

My first Harvest Moon game was Harvest Moon DS Cute, and ever since I’ve been smitten. I adored the gameplay. Farming, mining, taking care of animals, cooking, getting cute ass romance scenes and getting married?? Love it. Can’t get enough of it.

However, ever since the series started embracing/incorporating 3D into their art direction and art style, the games just haven’t been appealing for me to pick up. To put it bluntly, they can’t create a 3D art style that isn’t ugly. Every single fucking time they release a game, they shoot for the heavens with 3D and it’s just not done well. So to me, all the new games that insist on this art direction are just

u g l y.

Usually, the concept art looks fantastic. The character drawings and the box art are charming and stylized beautifully, as seen below:

from SoS: Friends of Mineral Town

But the game itself? The world/environment you’re supposed to stare at? They’re consistently literally ugly to me now. Take SoS: Friends of Mineral Town, I can understand the previous games that were like released in the 2010s as being janky ugly 3D models but this FoMT was released in 2019, and it still has the same issues with the art style that I just can’t get behind.

The characters’s 3d models. Making them look like chibis was a choice alright. The character drawings are cute but they just don’t translate well into the 3d models they chose for them. They look like toys.

The proportions are ridiculous. I don’t think its appealing, I don’t think its a good look design wise. The animals look like sentient plushies. The crops are as big as your character model.

It’s 3D but everything is just so FLAT. If you look at the grass its like one solid color, if you look at your dirt plot its one color. There’s not enough detail so it ends up looking flat and bland. If you see a vast of green land that’s all you’re getting. Might as well been a green carpet. What minuscule detailing they do have it’s just not enough to break and beautify the monotony of the landscape. 

Now compare that with their old style: Pixel art/Sprites. Admittedly, after Harvest Moon DS Cute, the only other game from the series I found appealing enough to play was Tale of Two Towns.

I much prefer the art direction they went with in those games. It was so incredibly detailed. The trees look dense. You can see the detail in the grass, you can see an abundance of weeds, flowers, whatever. The houses were pretty and the colors were charming. ToTT’s art style was an amazing elevation of pixel art. It was even more detailed and even more charming. Say what you will about these games, but the art style was definitely not bland and flat. 

Comparisons

Harvest Moon DS/Cute: look at the grass, look at the pathways, look at the dense trees, look at that house and the brick!

SoS Tale of Two Towns: Look at the water!!! Look at the grass, look at the random plants, the flowers dotted everywhere, the patchiness and the irregular pathways, look at how even denser the trees look

Sos Friends of Mineral Town: You cannot tell me this is prettier than the others. Grass looks like it was spray painted on. The water is ‘okay'.

I just wish, with my entire being, that the developers of story of seasons would just give up on the 3D. They can’t do it well. They’re not charming, they’re not pleasing to look at, and you kinda want games to be nice to look at considering you’re gonna be staring at that thing for hours to play the game??

And before you fucking try to come at me about FoMT not being their most recent release:

This is SoS: Pioneers of Olive Town (release: 2021)

yeah fuck that

I don’t think I’m old school for preferring the art styles and art direction of the older games, I just think they’re objectively prettier and the 3D whatever the developers are consistently clinging to is just plain ugly. 

Please. Let. Go.

This message doesn’t just go out to the creators of story of seasons. Every time I see a ‘cozy’ game with an interesting concept and gameplay but with that same shitty 3d bland-ass flat-ass art style I get so disappointed. And there are so many of them.

I think I can bet money on if Stardew Valley didn’t go the pixel art route it wouldn’t be as acclaimed as it is. Stardew Valley’s art style is charming and is actually appealing. I think it’s a big factor as to why so many people love it.

This is literally just a rant/tantrum because I see so many interesting games but with shit art styles and it’s such a turn off. Like. Please. Expand your horizons. 3d models can’t be the end all be all.

#Story of Seasons #Harvest Moon #Stardew Valley

[thenameswinter99]

Get to know me!

Many thanks for the tag @whitedarkmoonflower and sorry for the late reply, but the university took almost of my free time!

Nickname: TheNamesWinter, Winter, WinterStorm

Sign: Pisces

Height: 160 cm

The last thing I googled: "House of the dragon 2 trailer" (I was so in hype lol)

Amount of sleep: Between 4-5 hours when I have to travel by train and go to university, generally 7-9 hours.

Dream job: I'm a cinephile, a film lover and a theatre lover. My dream job is to become an actress. I know it is silly, but I’ve been acting since high school and I used to do school recitals when I was a little girl. I do have a plan B, though. I'm a design student, I'm finishing my university studies and I think I'll study to become a VFX Artist and work in the field of special effects at the cinema, or become a video game developer.

Favorite song: I have several favourite songs, but in this period I'm obsessed with "Cinnamon Girl" by Lana del Rey.

Movie/Book that Summarises Me: Book: I don't know, honestly... Maybe Mrs Dalloway by Virgina Woolf. Movie: La La Land by Damien Chazelle

Favorite instrument: I can't play, but I love piano and guitar.

Aesthetic: I am not a fashionista, I rather prefer simple and comfortable clothes. I love purple and black things, as they are my two favourite colors. I also love Medieval, Norse and Viking aesthetics.

Favorite authors: J. R. R. Tolkien, J. K. Rowling, Isabel Allende, Suzanne Collins, Oscar Wilde, Friedrich Nietzsche, Luigi Pirandello, Alda Merini, C. S. Lewis, Licia Troisi, and many others.

Random fun fact: I'm obsessed with dragons. Please, look for a way to create real dragons, I would adopt one right away!

Tag: @sihtricsafin @verenahx

#personal #tag #tag game

[woadge]

This body is not my own

(A little snippet from my diary I can share because I feel like when I write in my diary it’s poetic as shit.)

This body is not my own. I was placed into it, and my perception and upbringing were based on its existence. But I am more than my shell. I am the squishy innards beneath the surface.

Through dedication and determination I will mold this body to my will. The physical form has nothing against the might of the mind, and the power of the spirit. I’ll fill it with hormones to give it the traits I wish. I’ll dress it in clothing I prefer. I’ll work out with it to gain the shape I desire.

This body is not my own. This body is the representation of all I have suffered. Every inch of ground those who have wished harm upon me have taken has been simply an inch of skin. But I am more than what I have been made to be, and I can overcome my position. I have someone in my corner, I have friends who will help me tame this body. I will put it to work when I see fit. I will place it alongside those I want to place it next to when I sleep at night, and I am in control of where it rests. I am in control of who I wake up next to, and while I’ve made poor choices about it in the past, I cannot let those mistakes control my present. The one I would lie next to today would never hurt me the way they had hurt me; and since it is my body, I am in control of how much hurt I allow in. The one I would lie next to is aware of this. And respects that I am the governor of the lands known as my flesh.

This body is not my own, but I will conquer it. I will place it under arrest and strangle any resistance from it; if it doesn’t grow the things I want, or makes them too small or large, it will be by my will that the scalpel repairs what it has broken. If it does not become beautiful on its own, I will make it beautiful with trappings and trimmings and trinkets, until it is the image of who I am inside. This body is not my own, but it becomes my own once I take control of it, inside and out.

Nobody can hurt me. I am immortal; this body may decay but my spirit lives eternal. I love and care and cherish and soothe, things my body can only hope to replicate through touch. My words and my heart are more important than my physical touch; and when words aren’t enough, this body is my vehicle to meet the difference.

This body is simply the poorly designed flesh mech my spirit has begun to pilot. Thankfully, my spirit is the main character, and is in control of the plot; and it’s only episode 2.

#trans #transfem #transgender #gender dysphoria #gender euphoria #curvy body #mtf #lgbt #trans rights #love #spirituality #loving yourself #diary entry #vent

[alangdorf]

Aaaaand next off the checklist is Manager Magolor, it seems! I feel the need to clarify this is a while post-RtDL and most likely post-Star Allies too (and probably post-much-needed-therapy) given the temporally anomalous nature of Merry Magoland.

I also feel the need to clarify something weird I said in the initial theory post, even though it most likely goes without saying given some of the design decisions I made here and the sheer power of saying “you know what I mean”, but I think I finally have my thoughts coherently together about The Discourse. Going under the cut given that it is about The Discourse, and also about my personal experience with gender, transition, and internalized misogyny.

First off, if you don’t know what I mean by The Discourse, or why the heck I’m drawing Magolor as a Doomer and not a catboy, in the latter case see my previous posts, and in the former case, there was a line added in Return to Dream Land Deluxe for 100%ing the game where Magolor says he was lying about being from Halcandra. Now I’m not particularly entrenched in the Kirby fandom and generally avoid discourse, but even I’ve seen a lot of people say they think this lore addition was bad and stupid. I totally understand wanting to ignore it, given that the fanbase at large is full of Magolor likers that have elaborate headcanons about Magolor as a Halcandran, and various worldbuilding about Halcandra and the Ancients as informed by the concept. Personally, I had no previous stake in this given that the lore addition was actually the catalyst that got me to really care about Magolor in the first place, and obviously I think it’s interesting to extrapolate from.

Now, the ostensible gut reaction to finding out that Magolor has just been dressing up as an Ancient this whole time is to get really nervous about cultural appropriation. I personally think it’s likely to be more nuanced than a cut-and-dry case of an oppressor stealing from the culture of the oppressed, but given how little we actually know about the Ancients’ place in the Kirby universe both at their height and in the present day, and the fact that I myself am a white American, I’ll just cite Metal General’s RtDLdx pause screen lore, whatever the heck Grand Doomer has going on, and the short story Passing by Nella Larsen (Ok hi! Anxiety-ridden Kit from a week and a half later coming in to clarify that I’m not trying to equate funny little video game aliens to the severity of real life race struggles. As with everything please give me the benefit of the doubt in believing that I have good intentions and understand that there’s nuance but am just not the greatest at talking or thinking and I’m fighting for my life in here[my brain] ok thx bye) that I read in high school as sources for my personal thoughts, and leave the discussion on that subject there. (Oh, I also do like to think about the fact that he said he’s been studying the remnants of the Ancient civilization in Halcandra, for years, alone. Not much of anything with a concrete point to say about that though)

When I last talked about this in my theory post I said I saw it “more like uhhhh trans coding, kinda” and of course drawing this design forced me to confront the question of: now what the heck did I mean I mean by that, exactly?? Well, I thought about it more, and I realized that the much simpler thing to compare it to would be any teen coming-of-age movie where the protagonist dresses up as someone they aren’t because they don’t like who they are until they learn to accept and express themself for who they really are, though this message’s impact is often obfuscated somewhat in practice by Hollywood’s double gut-punch of beauty standards and misogyny. But as for what I was more closely reminded of when I called it trans coding, it was, as it often is, my own complicated journey with gender.

Speaking of, I realize I haven’t been very talkative on tumblr in several years, preferring to talk with close friends on discord rather than with the wider internet and you all know me as afab nb, so I suppose this is the time to come out as… cis, actually. Or rather, uh, transgender/cisgender/genderqueer/nonbinary/female. (Perhaps you can tell why I generally talk about this with people who already know me.) You know how it starts. I never really felt like I fit in with girls growing up, I held disdain for people who were “too girly”, I generally only made friends with nerdy guys, avoided wearing makeup, didn’t care overly much about how I dressed.

Then, five years ago, I discovered that being referred to as “they” made me really happy. I never experienced body dysphoria, but I liked to be able to have a flat chest sometimes. These are things that are still true about me. But feeling decoupled from the concept of womanhood, and, of course, simply growing as a person over time, allowed me to reassess my feelings and internal biases on it. I discovered I have very particular aesthetic preferences, some of which are traditionally very feminine. I started getting into fashion and sewing and started to be happy rather than ambivalent about the way I present myself. (I still don’t wear makeup barely at all.) I realized that what gender you are doesn’t have to mean anything about your particular gender presentation, and that your particular gender presentation doesn’t have to mean anything about what gender you are. I’m still addressing my own internalized misogyny every day, though I like to think I’ve gotten better about it. I’ve learned more about being queer and I’ve learned more about myself.

Over the years I’ve been slowly swinging back around to being comfortable identifying as a woman, and I’m not 100% there yet (I still have a bit of a dysphoric gut reaction to other people referring to me as female, I’ll likely always prefer they/them on the internet at least, and man oh man don’t even get me started on the religion thing. It’s even more complicated somehow and I have trouble talking about it even with close friends and family. I often feel caught between sides on a lot of things just because there’s just very few people who understand wholly where I’m coming from. For one thing, do you know how many weird reactions I’ve gotten to telling people I’m aroace and also getting married in two months? From all kinds of folks), but yeah. That’s how it is. Definitely genderqueer regardless what happens.

So uh, what the heck does any of this have to do with Maggie? I just have a relatively similar thought process regarding him. Uh, metaphorically, I mean; not necessarily with regards to gender. His gijinka designs have definitely turned out really genderqueer but as I’ve said before, this is just what happens whenever I get my little baby hands on new favorite male characters, especially given my penchant for selectively feminine aesthetics and the fact that I’ve never really learned how to draw cis men all that well. He’s also just really hard to put in pants & I wanna show the legs off, I paid money for those

Now for the million dollar question. Do I think any of my interpretation is how HAL actually intended it? Perhaps, but they seem to often leave deep lore things like this deliberately open-ended. So do I think they’re gonna actually do anything with it and make Magolor stop dressing up like an Ancient? Probably not, especially given that the lore bit is a reward for 100%ing the game, practically an easter egg at that point. Magolor is probably the one character who they’re most willing to give new outfits to, but I don’t see that extending to his mainline canon appearance. I think Kirby is a bit too much of a mascot-based franchise to comfortably depart from iconic aspects of their characters for that. They still haven’t given poor Taranza his own theme that isn’t a remix of Dedede’s, for crying out loud.

End of thoughts. Usual disclaimer that I am just one person with limited knowledge and judgement. I wanted to write out this clarification because I was worried my previous comments might look weird in isolation and because I know my Magolor headcanons are very intrinsically tied to The Discourse. It honestly kinda sucks a bit cause while it has been nice to be drawing again, I’ve also been relentlessly serotonin-seeking and I’m way too hungry for interaction & engagement on this, especially given how niche its particular appeal is. Ask box is always open but be warned I have no qualms about setting boundaries and won’t answer anything I don’t want to. Thanks for reading! - Love, Catboy “🪺” Discourse

#art #digital #kirby #magolor #kirby gijinka #gijinka #not sure which tag to use #anyway here’s this #loosely based the bob on that one concept art design I totally forgot about until a few days ago #though also it just looks like my own hair lol #really really like the edits I made to the legs here #especially the sticker!! Kirby made it for him and he shows it off to people… oough #Don’t ask me how exactly his wings are out through the jacket. I didn’t think about it. It’s magic~ #Dress is somewhat based on a cheongsam and I have a bit of reasoning for it but I don’t wanna get into it #he could rock qi lolita though #may shade this sometime but idk #friend made a post in the discord while I was in the middle of writing this post that I find very serendipitous #love you too <3

[shinonometrash]

Unsought Education

Court of Darkness Fan Fiction - Short Story

Rating: Teen

Characters featured in this story: Lou, Nix, Fenn Luxure, Toa Qelsum, Roy Invidia, Guy Avari, Lynt Akedia, Jasper Lane, MC

Fenn decides to host a special lecture for the S-ranks...Clearly there’s absolutely no reason one would need to be concerned, right?

You can check out other content that I’ve written/made by clicking here!

One typical afternoon at The Royal Academy of Concordia–

Lou finishes the last of his work for the day, filing the final document away in its designated cabinet.

Lou: Hmm…what shall I do for the rest of the day?

His eyes glance around the room before falling on his crystal ball.

Lou: Ah. I should check in on the princes.

Nodding to himself, he waves his hands and a hazy image of the S-Rank lounge is conjured within the glass sphere.

As the picture becomes clearer, Lou sees nothing particularly out of the ordinary.

Toa and Guy are reading books, sitting as far away from one another as the current furniture layout will allow.

Roy and Jasper are discussing the latest tea blends while sipping from cups of freshly brewed tea.

And, as usual, Lynt is dozing peacefully on the sofa.

Lou frowns slightly, disappointed at the peacefulness of the situation.

Lou: Perhaps I should add some excitement myself…

He begins to think of different ways to make things a bit more lively.

Nix: Lou.

Lou jumps slightly at the unexpected appearance of his familiar right behind him.

Lou: Yes, Nix?

Nix: It would do you well to remember that you are the headmaster of this academy, a responsible person of high authority.

Lou: Whatever might you mean?

Nix: Your current expression is the one that you wear when you are about to pull a prank.

Lou: “Pranks”? I prefer to think of it as…introducing challenges to ensure that the princes stay alert and adept at dealing with new situations.

Nix: Yes, well, if I recall correctly, I believe you recently “introduced” one of your little “challenges” to the princes less than a week ago, did you not? I suggest that you refrain yourself and allow them time to rest.

His expression shifting to an annoyed pout, Lou is about to protest when a sudden movement in the crystal ball captures his attention.

–

Fenn walks through the door of the S-rank lounge, dragging a giant chalkboard behind him.

Fenn: Hello my darling students~! Today you shall be referring to me as Professor Fenn, as I will be hosting a special lecture in this very room for all of those lucky enough to be present!

Toa sighs at the appearance of the noisy Luxurean prince.

Toa: Fenn.

The sternness in his voice makes Fenn laugh merrily.

Fenn: Didn’t you say that I should take my teaching duties more seriously~?

Toa: Yes, the teaching duties expected of you as a professor at this academy. Nobody here requires nor desires any of your “teachings”.

Fenn: Come on Toa, don’t be like that!

Toa: Go teach your actual students.

Fenn ignores Toa’s annoyed comment and begins setting up the chalkboard. A moment later, a presentation board makes its appearance as well, floating across the room to land next to the chalkboard.

Fenn: Ahem, today I shall be teaching you all about a very crucial topic!

Roy: Crucial topic…?

Fenn: Why, today is the day that I teach you all how babies are made! Please note, I will be offering hands on teaching as well, should anybody be interested after class~

Roy: M-Master Luxure, do you believe this is really necessary…?

Toa: We’re all adults here, I’m certain everybody is aware of how such things happen, Fenn.

Fenn: But are you, Toa? Are you really? Have you had the personal experience of making a baby before, Toa?

Toa: …

Guy quietly snorts in amusement, but then proceeds to roll his eyes, entirely uninterested in further entertaining Fenn’s usual antics.

Fenn: You see, this is why I must guide you all with my teachings!

Lynt’s eyes open sleepily before tilting his head curiously.

Lynt: You’re going to make babies with us, Fenn?

Fenn: That’s the spirit, Lynt!

Fenn: To be precise, I shall be teaching you how to thoroughly satisfy your partner during the process of making babies, without actually making babies.

Lynt: Pwaghhh…you can…wake me up when it’s over…

Fenn: Aaaaand we lost him again…

Fenn looks at Lynt disappointedly, but then immediately perks back up and continues.

Fenn: Now let us begin!

With a mildly exasperated scowl, Guy looks up at Fenn momentarily, and then returns his attention to his book.

But not before very subtly flicking a glance towards his valet’s direction.

Without a word, Jasper, who had been calmly sipping his tea as he watched the events of the room unfold, sets down his teacup and smoothly pulls a small journal and quill from his jacket.

Fenn: First we shall begin with some diagrams!

Fenn removes the first piece of paper to reveal the diagram of a–

~

Lou: ???

Lou: How odd…the diagram appears to be blurred.

Lou looks closer, but is unable to identify the object or thing being displayed.

Lou: Perhaps I need to do some fine tuning to the spell later…

Not thinking much of it, Lou returns to watching intently.

~

Fenn: Now then, to start at the basics! What is this here called? Any guesses?

Fenn waits for a response, but nobody makes any attempts to answer his question.

Fenn: Toa, do you know?

Toa: Fenn, I refuse to participate in your ridiculous performance.

Fenn: Come on, Toa! Surely somebody as studious as yourself would be interested in learning how to properly please a lady~?

Fenn: Or a man, for that matter~

Fenn turns his head and shoots a wink towards an empty space, almost as if he were winking at an invisible camera.

Toa: Why are you winking at nothingness? Have you at last gone fully mad?

Fenn: You never know who may be watching, Toa.

Fenn turns his head and winks once more.

Toa: …

Electing not to respond to Fenn’s nonsensical comment, Toa instead returns his gaze towards the book in his hands.

Toa: As for your prior question…I have no interest in such topics.

Fenn: Why, you say that, and yet that very book you are reading right now contains quite the explicit scenes as well, does it not?

Toa: …I do not know what you are speaking of.

Fenn: Oh~? Is that so…

Walking closer, Fenn peers at the open book in Toa’s hands.

Fenn: Would I be correct in assuming that you are approximately two-thirds through the novel at this time?

Toa: …Yes…

Fenn: Hmmm…well, in that case, perhaps I can jog your memory!

Fenn: For example~ Page 228, was it?

Toa freezes, his face turning even paler than usual–a feat in itself.

Fenn seizes this opportunity to take the book from Toa’s hands, quickly flipping through the pages.

Fenn: Let’s see here…page 228…

Fenn: Ah, yes, here we are!

Fenn: “He pulls away from their passionate kiss, his eyes shining with lust. “If…If we continue any longer, I-I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself…””

Fenn reads out the lines dramatically, much to Toa’s horror.

Fenn: ““It’s okay, I don’t want you to stop. I want you too, you know,” she whispers breathily, her hand trailing further and further down until she reaches his–

Toa grabs the book from Fenn’s hands, slamming it shut before the Luxurean prince can continue reading aloud.

Toa: I…I merely skimmed over those sections…

Fenn: Sure you did, Toa.

Toa: M-More importantly…how do you know this book so well?

Fenn: Hehe, I have my ways, dear Toa~

Fenn flashes Toa a flirty wink before returning to the presentation board.

Fenn: I ask once again, can anybody tell me what this is?

Fenn looks around the room, but nobody except Jasper seems to be paying any attention.

Fenn: Jasper? Do you know?

Jasper: I am merely a silent observer, Master Luxure, please, pretend as if I am not present.

Fenn: Bahh…why is nobody any fun here??

Returning to the chalkboard, Fenn is about to give out the answer when Roy calmly raises his hand.

Thrilled that finally somebody is willing to participate, Fenn calls on Roy.

Fenn: Roy?

Roy: That is known as the [censored].

Fenn: Indeed it is! And what are you meant to do with the [censored]? Roy: First you [censored], then very carefully [censored].

~

Lou: Hm? Again? 

Lou looks around in search of one of his familiars.

Lou: Nix, I think there’s something wrong with my crystal ball.

Nix: Why is that?

Lou: Several parts of their conversation are being replaced with an extended beep noise and the diagrams are blurred.

Nix: Ah. That.

Nix: Phinny and I made some modifications to censor certain views or conversations.

Lou: And for what reason would that be necessary?

Nix: Some people do prefer to have their privacy, Lou.

~

Roy: -and then you [censored] and [censored] your partner with your [censored] and [censored], correct?

Fenn: Why, yes Roy! You are entirely correct!

Fenn: Although you mustn’t forget to always [censored].

Roy: Ah, indeed. It is very important to always [censored].

Things continue on in this manner–and what once was Fenn’s “lesson” has now transformed into a strange type of Q&A style informational between Fenn and Roy.

Nobody knows quite what to make of it.

Even Lynt at some point has awoken from his nap and is sharing uncomfortable glances with the other two S-ranks present.

It’s clear that everybody is thinking the same thing. “How does he know so much about this…?”

~ Lou: This is a rather enlightening experience on many levels. Wouldn’t you agree, Nix?

Nix: “Enlightening” is one word to describe it, yes…

~

The door to the S-rank lounge suddenly opens.

MC: Hello~

Seeing everybody with a shocked yet uncomfortable expression on their face, she pauses in concern.

MC: Um, what’s with everyone’s expressions right now? What happened…?

Fenn comes over in greeting while beginning to gently herd her towards the front of the room.

Fenn: Oh, how wonderful Treasure! We were just in the middle of a lesson, you see! Perhaps you can provide some of your own input~?

MC: Sure, if you think I’d be any hel-...

Her gaze falls on the chalkboard and presentation board.

Her face immediately turns a bright red.

MC: Um! Actually! I just remembered I have plans with Sherry and Rio in the refectory!

MC: Sorry, gotta go!

She turns around and hurriedly rushes out of the room, much to Fenn’s disappointment.

Fenn sighs sadly, but quickly recovers as he returns to his spot in the front of the room.

Fenn: Now then, shall we continue~?

~

Lou: I should check in on the S-ranks more often.

Nix: Aren’t you already watching them quite often in your free time?

Lou: Yes, but I’m saying I should watch them even more regularly. There may be much valuable information to be gained that would otherwise be missed, such as today!

Rather than replying, Nix instead chooses to let out a weary sigh.

The End.

~~

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#court of darkness #my trash fan fiction #court of darkness lou #fenn luxure #toa qelsum #guy avari #roy invidia #jasper lane #lynt akedia

[hiccupbutpurple]

I’m trying to settle on a design for a new au and auuggg it’s so AAAAA

anyways the au does have some of the Trio so I thought I’d share:) (details aren’t final. Perhaps some brainstorming and thoughts could get the juices working.)

Viggo’ and Hiccup are both marine biologists that study wild magical folk that live in the ocean (kinda hinted by the name) and as such, Viggo’s other close friend (Krogan) Who is usually the one that brings them out to the area that helps them study the merfolk via boat is occasionally tardy (no one knows why, Viggo just assumes Krogan has other things he is doing and gets caught up in doing them, typical nonsense that Krogan does like paint and whatever; He’s not going to dock Krogan’s pay because he usually just shows up anyways a bit later than expected; often a bit damp, but it doesn’t matter since they’re going out to sea anyways and Krogan has mentioned he likes swimming offhandedly.)

Admittedly, the three are kind of in a relationship? Hiccup and Viggo are confirmed together, Krogan on the other hand is *technically* part of it in a polyamorous sense but he’s very shy around Hiccup romantically since he’s more used to Viggo.

It is on one day that they go out towards nightfall because Krogan wanted to come clean to them about some secret, and it’s that he’s actually like 75% siren… since his parents were hybrids as well, though he was abandoned on land and actually prefers it on land. Viggo and Hiccup are intrigued, of course; but they figure this should be kept quiet because again, Krogan might have a good reason to keep it from them. (And a bit of self consciousness surrounding it… one’s that they could potentially alleviate a little for him.)

Ooooo yeah that’s so cool!! Also his hairrrrr eidnsisjsisj yeysysysysysyssy!!!

Okay okay okay so merfolk are one of those things I’ve loved for so long (despite doing very little research into them) one of my first httyd AU’s when I was like a little kid was Ruffnut being a mermaid lol!

Usually I’m someone that loves a little forced reveal but I think in this context Krogan telling them is the best option because it shows he trusts them which is powerful when it comes to him! I’m thinking about both Viggo and Hiccup rushing around trying to research (and having little study sessions together trying to find out more) before giving up and just bombarding him with questions (alternatively Krogan walks in on them surrounded by books and many devices with a bunch of tabs open). They didn’t want to be overly invasive (well Hiccup didn’t, Viggo is probably okay with just asking but Hiccup tries to force him into a more delicate route). The drama of their employers (if they have any, or other wider research teams/those safety check people/etc) finding out and them having to work to protect him (maybe Drago is like the guy in charge of a certain operation they’ve been hired to do) could also be cool.

I can see him being a bit of the mix between seductive and terrifying siren which I honestly think ur art perfectly captures - with stuff like the graceful fins and the sharp claws! I like in the second design how the little front fin things (idk what they are actually called) are a bit shorter cause I think it carries that subtle danger while still being quite elegant but the longer ones are still cool and a bit more - weaponised isn’t the exact word but I’m not sure what other word fits better lol.

Also lol now I’m thinking about him serenading the others, especially Viggo joining in since Alfred Molina has done singing in theatre before! Maybe he would have some fears about luring in the others by accident, or even some worries that they only like him because of some unconscious luring and if he is to reveal the real him (both in being part siren and opening if up in other ways) to them, then it would be like sirens unveiling their disguises to sailors (and telling Hiccup and Viggo about himself technically could also put them in actual danger like those sailors or he thinks would drag them down with him- to the metaphorical bottom of the sea lol) - which of course Viggo and Hiccup know is ridiculous!

I feel like Hiccup especially would probably try to make an invention or try and find magic that lets him adventure the seas to see the world Krogan does, which Viggo would definitely encourage and help with. (Lol Hiccup just gets one of those fake mermaid tail things, a snorkeling set and rocks up to their meeting like ‘hey guess what, now we can match’ and Krogan and Viggo just stare blankly at him dhejsisj - nah Viggo would join in after some encouragement I think - I think it would also be funny if it’s just the most fake looking thing ever too cause that’s all Hiccup could find and afford, Krogan is just downright disgusted by it)

Also the painting thing, I’m just seeing him painting little rocks and stuff and them turning up in their shared spaces or bags - Hiccup doing the sketches and line art and Krogan painting them later!

Okay I think that’s about all the ideas I’ve got, hopefully it’s a little helpful or gives your brain a boost lol!!

#krogan httyd #krogan rtte #Siren Krogan AU #Kroggo #Krogan/Hiccup #vigcup #httyd #rtte #hiccup haddock #viggo grimborn

[spgothkidsheadcanons]

I HAVE COME TO ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS BC PETE IS MY LIFE LINE.

Okay okay okay…

So you and the goths (minus Firkle) go to this goth club (yes they exist there’s one near me i frequent). Y/n and is dancing and what not and Pete is like AWOOGA and asks if she wants to “ditch these posers and go home with me”

(im so sorry if this doesn’t make sense i can’t explain shit for the life of me)

NO IT MAKES SENSE but I added a lil twist to it 😈

I’ve deemed this to be a two parter, so here’s part 1!

You’ll get the good bits in part 2!

~~~~~~

Everytime that the elder goths got back together in their small town of South Park, Colorado, it was tradition that the first thing they did was go visit “The Red Lounge”. It was a town famous Goth club that they had frequented for years, and even though they don’t go as much as they used to, it was fun to relive their glory days, just listening to the music playing and drinking just a little too much wine. Pete, Michael and Henrietta normally opted to just sit at the bar, deep into the yelling conversation they were having. The music was a little louder tonight, and it was tough for any of them to hear the others without raising their voices.

Which brings us to the moment at hand. Pete rolled his eyes and sighed after Michael ‘What?’ed him for the 3rd time. He took another swig of his wine before repeating himself once again, slowly and with more enunciation. Michael’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as he finally heard, nodding his head slowly as Pete’s words processed in his head. The redhead turned to look at Henrietta, who was just nursing her glass of alcohol, not paying attention to what was going on around her. Michael and Henrietta were probably way too drunk, but that didn’t stop them from keeping on. Their hangovers were gonna be ass, but that didn’t stop them before, and it wasn’t going to stop them now.

Pete’s eyes darted to the dance floor, his gaze scanning over the crowd of people who were dancing along to the beat that was playing. He sucked his teeth at the crowd, rolling his eyes as he watched people ‘embarrass’ themselves by having fun. It might have been because he was in a bad mood, or it might have been the lack of conversation with his friends, but something urged him to get up and leave the club. He would much rather prefer to be in his bed, comfortable and sleeping rather than feel like his head was going to explode at any minute.

“Hey!”

His head whipped to the side, his gaze landing on the source of the greeting. A person with an extremely friendly smile caught his eyes, and the person moved a little closer to Pete. With the lights from the bar landing on them, the redheaded goth could make out their features a little better. Kind, soft (e/c) doe eyes that were surrounded by an intricately designed eyeliner shape stared warmly into his own. Their skin was radiant in the low lighting, seeming to shimmer in the dark.

“You look lonely!” they shouted over the music, leaning a little too much of their weight on him. Pete scoffed, but accepted their weight. “I’m actually here with these two idiots!” he yelled back, ignoring the drunken glare from Michael and Henrietta. The stranger turned their head to glance at each of them, shooting a smile in their directions. Turning their head back to Pete, their smile grew wider. “My name is (Y/n)! Come dance with me!” the stranger, now dubbed (Y/n), offered, their hand slinking around Pete’s wrist. The only answer he gave was a head shake, signaling his denial at (Y/n)’s offer. The (h/c) pouted, before yanking Pete from the barstool he perched himself on.

Michael and Henrietta were laughing at the poor man’s misfortune. Or, at least, that’s what they thought he was thinking about the situation. Despite how annoying Pete thought (Y/n) was, he was enthralled with their person. They were stumbly, giggly, and drunk. It was kind of cute, Pete thought, though he would never admit it out loud. His friends’ phones were pointed at and recording Pete as his new companian pulled him closer, guiding him into moving his hips with theirs. In all honesty, if the redhead could have been closer to them, he would have been able to die peacefully that night. He grumbled at his friends, but became preoccupied with the new person, attempting to very stiffly move in rythym with them.

This only cause (Y/n) to laugh, and then drape their arms around his neck. Leaning in, ther lips pressed softly against his ear, their tongue darting out to lick the shell. “Ditch those posers and come home with me,” they purred, pulling back from Pete to study his face. His eyes were wide and his face quickly starting matching his hair town. Sparing one last glance over to his friends, who were still taking the piss out of him, his eyes landed back on (Y/n)’s. Pete could only nod at their words, and let himself be dragged away by them after they gave a cheer, a grin splitting their face. Pete threw once last glance to his two friends before following the (h/c), allowing himself to be led from the bar. Michael and Henrietta stared slack jawed at the scene, looking at each other and then back at the door in disbelief.

#sp goth kids #south park goth kids #south park headcanons #sp fanfiction #south park fanfiction #sp pete #sp pete thelman #sp pete x reader #south park pete #south park pete thelman #south park pete x reader #sp requests

[whereeammii]

okay so ive been thinking about this all night and has spirit tracks actually happened in linked universe yet?

i recently reread all of LU and I’ve been wondering why there’s no mention of anything spirit tracks related.

now, pls pls correct me if I’m wrong or if I’ve missed something, but LU wind seems VERY phantom hourglass and wind waker oriented. there’s barely any mentions of anything in or about spirit tracks at all.

in the latest update i believe wind was thinking about bellum—not malladus. he mentions ganon all the time and even wields the phantom sword. i know jojo has stated that wind = spirit tracks link and it’s very likely that the lack of spirit tracks references are simply because jojo has a strong preference for phantom hourglass (as detailed here) but what if it’s not?

i looked through a lot of stuff but not everything. im far too tired for that atm. but I even looked through old q&a posts. there’s not even any ST references in wind’s design.

also keep in mind, the bokoblins wind recognizes are from the great sea. whenever he talks of his home, it’s always of islands or his time on the water. it sounds like they’re still sailing and looking for land. and i believe the general consensus is that wind and tetra don’t even discover new hyrule until they’re adults or at least in their late teens considering they set up the monarchy in new hyrule. idk about anyone else but I wouldn’t want my leading authority to be a fourteen year old.

as I said before, I admit there’s a high probability that jojo just….doesn’t care much for the game. last I recall, she said she’d give the game another chance after getting used to phantom hourglass’ mechanics. but do we know if she actually finished it?

the only evidence i have to refute this theory is a few handful of things.

likely the biggest proof against this theory (unless I’m missing, not understanding, or forgetting something) is wind’s current shield.

i believe as far as these three games are concerned, it only shows up in spirit tracks. it could also be argued that wind was referring to chancellor cole or ST zelda in the latest update when expressing his concerns about twilight getting corrupted but chancellor cole was never really corrupted? from the start, he was a demon who merely pretended to be a normal hylian and byrne did everything of his own volition in an attempt to become more powerful. i suppose it could still be about zelda (especially when you really think about the puppeteer line) but I wouldn’t describe ST zelda as having been corrupted and certainly not in the way wind is worried twilight could be. her body was used as a vessel but not when her spirit or consciousness was in it and it wasn’t because of any practice she participated in or item she used.

jojo did upload a video at one point and one of the time stamps shows she talked about spirit tracks zelda. unfortunately, I’ve never seen this video and am currently still unable to access it so I have no idea what was spoken about in this video.

furthermore, while this may be trying to find a needle in a haystack, one could look at this comic and find it suspicious that wind knows and understands cuccos and their dangers very well despite them not being present in the wind waker. while cuccos are in spirit tracks, they are also very much present in phantom hourglass.

anyway, long story short—im probably overthinking. but wind speaks of the great sea as though it’s still very much present in his current time which leads me to believe spirit tracks hasn’t happened yet among other things. you could always just argue that wind found his shield somewhere in the great sea or on an island post-phantom hourglass and it was merely kept around until the events of spirit tracks.

i really don’t mind this lack of reference though! for those members of the fandom like me who love to make wind and spirit two separate people, it helps that wind hardly (if ever) alludes to any spirit tracks adventures. and if you like meshing all three games together, it’s interesting to think of spirit tracks as an adventure wind has yet to begin!

pls lmk if I’ve gotten anything wrong or missed something! i’ll be very embarrassed but i’ll live!! also, if you happen to know what was said about ST zelda and want to lmk, I’d be happy to hear that too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu wind #lu spirit #kinda #wind waker #phantom hourglass #spirit tracks #lu theory #ALSO!! #he always refers to his home as hyrule or the great sea #never NEW hyrule #just an observation