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nothomegal · 5 months

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"My beloved monster"

(Pyramid Head x GN Reader)

Summary: There are always limitations for someting, and when these affect your ability to show love, it becomes a huge deal, so big that it's crushing... Devastating actually. But love itself is a weird thing. It may not break down said limitations. But maybe, it can make you accept and find your own ways to love instead?...

Warnings: a bit angsty at the begining (but lots of love at the end!)

Word Count: 2.1k

(Y/N) looks at their monster, concern filling their chest as they take in his uncannily still form. Since the moment they woke up they knew something was wrong, because one; they were laying on a mattress instead of their lover's body. And two, because Pyra seemed troubled, he looked so unnaturally dull and gloomy…

His helmet positioned lower than usual, as if his gaze is constantly down, his shoulders slump, his overall posture hunched as if something heavy is dragging his body down…

Is he… Is he sad?

This possible explanation both concerned and intrigued (Y/N). They are aware that Pyra’s feelings and mind don’t exactly work like human's, in occasions it feels like he’s being guided by instincts rather than thoughts (especially when things get intimate). But right now it seems like he's experiencing something big, big enough to send him into this wretched state.

With a sigh, (Y/N) stands up from the matress and slowly makes their way towards the beast, their steps careful and a tag hesitant since they had no idea what to expect.

—"Pyra?... Are you alright big guy?"— you ask, concern lingering in your tone.

But the monster didn't move or made any noise of acknowledgment, which obviously made (Y/N) frown. They step even closer, and still no reaction.

—"Did I do something wrong?..."— you ask despite knowing well that you didn't, but you still felt the need to apologize. —"If so I'm very sorry. If you need time alone then I'll leave- "—

A deep low growl was all it took to shut them up. (Y/N) stiffed in their place as they wait to see what will happen next. But instead of witnessing something volent, Pyra only tilted his helmet evel lower, appearing even more upset whith whatever is bothering him.

This image of him was enough for (Y/N) to collect the courage to move again, making their way to their lover's sitting form. This time however, they don't speak or ask anything, instead they carefully place their hand on his large shoulder and let it stay there for a while.

When there was still no reaction, they began to slowly caress his skin. Hand slowly traveling from his big arm to his broad back, which seemed to do the job in soothing him judging by the way his muscles began to relax under their touch. That until their hand traveled to his helmet, and the second it made contact with the metallic surface, a noise nearly resempling a roar errupted from it, causing (Y/N) to recoil violently almost as if their hand got burned.

They stay frozen, clutching their hand tightly and close to their chest as they observe Pyra, feeling both sad that they aren't able to help him and afraid that they may pushed their luck too far.

And to make things worse, their fear seemed to upset the beast even further, because soon another even angrier and louder roar errupted from the monster as he grabs the enges of his helmet tightly. This made (Y/N) even more afraid, but no longer for themselves, but for Pyra.

What is going on?! Is he in pain? Does his head hurt? Why is he so angry all of the sudden? Why...

Why does it look like he wants to rip his helmet off?...

Carefully and slowly, (Y/N) makes their way back to their lover. Movements wary and cautious, like they're in front of some wild animal.

When close enough, they notice something with the corner of their eye. It's a book, one they accidentaly stumble upon somewhere and been reading time to time. It wasn't anything special, just an classic old romance whith a lot of text and the only picture being the cover, which portraited the two protagonists being in each other's embrace and pressing their foreheads together in a loving and affectionate manner.

Oh... OH.

(Y/N)'s head snaps towards their lover, a frown placed on their face at the sight of his miserable form that was still holding his helmet and growling angrily, hatefully, at it.

—"Pyra..."— you call out softly as you step closer. —"Hey."—

They place their hands on top of his larger ones, making the beast stop fidgeting in place and stay completely still again.

—"Is that why you're upset?..."— you ask, voice gentle.

At first the beast does nothing. But when (Y/N) squeezed his hands slightly, that's when a metallic noise was made, which was something in between of metal scraping and a whine. It was new noise, noise that expressed nothing but misery.

But who wouldn't be upset after realizing how little one can do with their loved one while looking like this? A monster with no face, created with the sole purpose to spread pain upon others and drag them through eternal punishment. Pyramid Head never was supposed to love, he never was supposed to care for anything or anyone, only hunt and execute. But after (Y/N) came into this place... Just tell me, how couldn't he want more of them? How couldn't he desire to keep them? How couldn't he crave to have them close and feel their soft warm body against his? To feel excitement whenever they speak, the gentle tone of their voice, the sweet things they say about a creature like him... To fall further for them at the sensation of their soft lips on his damaged scarred skin, a gesture they made to tell him just how much he means to them withouth the need to use words...

(Y/N) can do so many things to show the love, affection and respect they have for him. Of course he tries to show them his desire for them too, but he can do so little... And that's just devastating. No matter how much noises he makes, no matter how carefully he tries to nuzzle his helmet against them... It will never resemble anything that another human could do to show love, it will never feel as sencere as what (Y/N) does... And it will never be possible for him to say these three words that make his inhuman heart pause and his chest squeeze in warmth whenever they leave (Y/N)'s lips...

These three words...

I love you.

After these intense seconds of dead silence passed, (Y/N) decided to take the matters in their hands and try again.

Slowly they slide their hands off of his and into his helmet. And this time the beast didn't pull away or made a sound, he just sat there in complete stillness.

—"I understand that we cannot do certain things..."— you say as you step closer. —"But do you think I care?"—

As they speak in a gentle voice, they run their hands along the metallic surface, caressing it carefully.

—"When I say 'I love you', I mean I love you, whole."— you smile as you say that. —"Head and everything included. I love you whole Pyra."—

Their words seemed to slowly break him, as another of these strange whines was emited. His hand slid off his helmet and placed on (Y/N)'s hips. For a second they thought he would push them away, but he doesn't, he simply keeps his hands on them.

Suddenly, (Y/N) stopped their caresses. Wich understandably caused Pyra's grip on them to tighten, as if to prevent they pull away from him. But of course, that's not something a deranged person like (Y/N) would do, instead they lean forward and wrap their arms around his helmet and press themselves closer to it.

—"And I don't say it expecting you'll say it back."— you mutter softly as you resume your caresses. —"But I know when you do try to say it back. It may not be through voice, or a kiss, or any other more intimate and 'human' action. And it doesn't make it any less important, if anything, it makes it more special."—

The two of them remain like this for a while. I probably looked so weird to embrace Pyra's helmet like that, but non of them seemed to mind it.

With a soft hum, (Y/N) pulls back just a bit and presses their forehead against the metallic surface.

—"Look, we can do that too."— you say playfully. —"Just like in the book's cover!"—

It was an immature and a cheap thing to do, (Y/N) knows it. But their efforts were recieved positively anyways judging by the soft rumble that was emited from the monster and the small careful tilt he did with his head to press it further against theirs.

However, this time (Y/N) didn't remain still for too long. Their arms soon unwrapped and began to travel down until their hands slipped underneath the beast's helmet. The second their fingers made contact with the soft and slimy flesh, a small shiver run through the monster's body.

—"Well, I know this is not something I could do with another human... But do I care? Absolutely not!"— you chuckle as you start to gently scratch the fleshy mass. —"And the fact that you even allow me to touch you there already tells me how much trust you have in me. See? No extra words or actions needed for me to understand how big of a deal it is."—

Their voice and scratches were soon recieved with the well known low rumbling, that was so similar to a deep purr. Pyra's hands slowly began to slide off their form as his body relaxed with each second. (Y/N) couldn't help but to childishly grin at his state, he looked so happy, almost like a cat recieving a good scratch.

They were about to tell more things, but the beast decided it was enough reassurance and that it's time for him to take action.

(Y/N) let out a surprised yelp when their body was suddenly dragged down by a great force and slammed against a solid torso. It all happened so fast that it took them a couple of seconds to process what just happened. The embrace was tight, keeping them caged in the beast's arms, so closely that it was almost suffocating...

Any normal person would freak out at that, too concerned about the wellbeing of their spine. But (Y/N)? Nah.

They let a small yet joyful laught as they attempted to wrap their arms around Pyra's waist, though due to their limited mobility and his huge size it was quite a task. Nevertheless, their attempts were appreciated anyways, and the amused rumple was a proof of it.

The monster curls his larger body around his human a bit more, holding them tightly and closely. So closely that he could feel their heartbeat, heartbeat that was slow and perfectly rhythmic, indicating just how calm and content (Y/N) was in his arms, trusting him completely and totally unafraid of his monstrous strength.

It was unclear how long they've been holding each other like that. It could be minutes, it could be hours... But what was clear for both of them, was that they didn't want to let go of each other, not now, not anytime soon.

Until...

—"Hey Pyra, one last thing."— you suddenly say.

Their sentence was responded by a quizical rumble.

—"Can you stick out your tongue for a second?"—

At first there is no reaction, as if Pyra was caught off guard with this seemingly random request. Nevertheless, he lose his grip on them just enough to allow his human to lean back. And as they do so, the pink muscle was already sticking out of the corner of his helmet and curiously wiggling in place.

(Y/N) smiles and gently grabs the tongue with both hands, slowly pulling it closer to them. They silently observe it for a comple of seconds, before bringing it right to their lips and giving a small kiss. Yes, it felt weird, maybe disgusting for some. But not for (Y/N).

After that sweet gesture they glance at their lover, who was completely frozen in place, even his tongue was no longer wiggling.

—"Look, we just kissed!"— you announce with a cheerful laugh. —"Y'know, maybe I was wrong. Maybe there aren't as many limitations as we thought. Sure, some methods are weird and all... But doesn't it feel more special? More like... Ours?"—

The monster remains unresponsive for a while, either thinking or just staring at their little naive form. Whatever the case it, their genuine expression of joy and warmth was enough to melt away whatever bits of doubt their lover had, and the shy wiggling of his tongue towards their lips was a clear demonstration of that.

After sharing some more 'kisses', (Y/N) was soon pulled back into this suffocating embrace again. And this time, it wasn't just desperate...

It was also warm, affectionate, intimate... Absolutelly everything about this embrace screamed one message and one message only, which combined with the soft purrs and noises coming from the beast, was much more clear...

I love you.

#nothomegal fic #nothomegal oneshot #gn reader #pyramid head x reader #pyramid head #slasher x reader #slasher fluff

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allllium · 4 months

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Pinky Promise

~ This definitely ended up longer than I meant it to be but no regrets, Matt is so adorable in this.

~ Fluff, Angst but not really? More like play fighting. Reader is referred to as Matt's girlfriend but other than that gender neutral. WC: 1,939

~ Matt tells you he's Daredevil

You have been filled with anxiety all day after a text from Matt. This morning he asked you to come to his apartment as soon as you could after work. He wouldn't say anything else about it, just that it was very important.

Matt has a habit of not believing he deserves good things. Throughout your relationship, you have done everything in your power to prove him wrong. But still, when he says he needs to talk to you, about something really important, your mind falls to the worst-case scenario.

“Matty, I'm here.” You announce as you walk into your boyfriend's apartment.

“Oh hey, sweetheart.” He greets you at the door, as he always does. He is the perfect gentleman.

“Hi.” You let out, trying not to let your anxiety be too obvious. “What did you want to talk about?”

He opens his mouth to say something before immediately shutting it again. “I ordered some food. It should be here anytime.”

“Is there a reason you're trying to change the subject?” He grabs your hands and leads you over to the couch. Sitting down, he pulls you down onto his lap.

“No, I'm just letting you know. I know how you get about your food.”

“Mhm. And is that the only reason?”

“I have to tell you something.” Oh no. You know what this is about. This day had to come eventually.

“Okay, what is it?” You let out a soft sigh. It wasn't hard to figure out once you got together.

“I don't want you to be mad at me.”

“Matt I won't get mad, I promise.”

“How do you know?” His eyes show you how worried he is.

“Because I love you.” You grab his hand and lean into him more. “And unless you're about to tell me that you cheated, I won't be mad.”

“What! I would never!”

“I know, baby. It was just an example.” You almost laugh at the surprised expression that covers his face.

“Well, you know how I became blind.” He begins.

You were right, he's about to tell you he's Daredevil. Yes, you already know. For two reasons. One, a blind man can't do everything he does, the way he caught you when you fell on one of your dates, or the way he knows where things are without being told. Two, Foggy. He didn't mean to tell you but you had your suspicions and you may have tricked Foggy into secretly confirming for you.

Foggy has no idea what he said allowed you to know the truth and you never told him so he wouldn't feel bad about accidentally exposing his best friend's secret. You're not proud of it but your curiosity got the best of you.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Uhh, it did more than make me lose my sight.” You weren't able to confirm anything about the accident but if Matt is Daredevil then something had to have happened for it to be possible.

“What else did it do?”

“It heightened all of my other senses.” You squeeze his hand to encourage him to continue. “I can hear things from very far away and smell things better than normal.” No shit.

“How much better?” As much as you already know, there are a lot of specifics you still don't understand.

“I can smell what you have eaten all day, I can hear your heart beating and I can tell when you're making a face.” That's a lot more than you thought. “I can hear everyone in this building and mostly tell what they're doing.”

You immediately scramble off his lap.

“Did I weird you out?” The lace of sadness in his voice breaks your heart.

“No it's not you, I'm just weirdly aware of myself now.” You assure him. You don't know how to describe it like you're going over everything you did in the day to try and figure out what Matt can tell.

“You don't have to be, sweetheart. You're not the weird one here.”

“Matt, you're not weird. You're perfect. You can't control what happened to you or what it caused these senses. I don't know. You can smell me and hear me? It's just a lot.”

“That's not even the part I'm trying to tell you.”

“Matt, I have to be honest with you. I know.” You whisper.

“You know?” He asks in shock. “Know what?”

“That you're Daredevil.” Your voice grows even quieter.

“What? How?” He exclaims, standing up to meet you.

“I don't know. One day I was just thinking and kinda put it together!”

“When?” His voice booms around the small apartment.

“A few months ago. There was this clip of Daredevil on the news and he looked so familiar so I started thinking about the injuries you get, how you disappear at night, how you can catch me when I fall. It became really obvious and then..” You stop your rant, not wanting to expose Foggy. Even though he had no idea what the conversation was about, you still feel terrible.

“And then?”

“I may have tricked Foggy into confirming it for me.” Matt’s face quickly shows anger and disbelief. “I swear he has no idea I know anything, he didn't mean to confirm anything.”

“Why didn't you just ask me?” Is he serious right now?

“Because you never would've told me! We've been together for almost a year now and you're just now trusting me with this! I'm the one that gets to be pissed right now, not you!”

“Okay you're right I should have told you but I was just scared that..”

“No.” You hold your hand out and interrupt him. “I swear Matt, if the next thing you say is that you were protecting me, I will beat your ass.”

“That was one of the reasons, yes.” You step forward, fully intent on keeping your word. “Let me explain.” He smiles and pushes you away.

“Fine but it better be good.” You cross your arms and raise your eyebrows to show how serious you are.

“I wasn't just worried about your safety, I was worried that you would feel different about me. Maybe even leave me.”

“Matt, I love you. And I know you doubt yourself but I would never leave you for that. You could kill a million people and I wouldn't leave you.”

He gives you a very concerned look. “That's not good, we need to talk about that.”

“Eh.” You wave him off. “We need to talk about all this shit,” You move your hands over his body. “All this self-deprecating shit you do.”

“Oh well, I'm so sorry for believing you deserve the world.” He says as sarcastically as possible.

“Exactly. Think more like that.” You nod.

“I'm not gonna do that.”

“We are getting off topic.”

“Is there more to talk about?” You can tell he's worried about you knowing the details.

“We are one month away from our first anniversary and you're just telling me this now, that's not okay Matthew!”

“I know! I didn't want to wait this long but the more I thought about telling you the more I thought about losing you and I can't handle that.”

“Wait so why did you want to tell me today? Are you okay with losing me today?” You half-joke.

“No, because Karen told me if I didn't she would, and I know you should hear this from me.”

“Yeah you're right but this needed to happen forever ago!”

“I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, sweetheart, I know I should've. But out of curiosity, when would've been the best time to tell you?” He asks sincerely, sitting back on the couch.

“Why? Want advice for your next girlfriend?” You can't help but tease. Sitting back down on his lap.

“I'm never gonna have another girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah? And you're sure about that?”

“What does that mean?” He asks in fake concern, used to your teasing antics.

“I don't know. What do you think it means?”

“This isn't funny.” He says while he laughs. “I can't tell if you're mad at me or me.”

“Oh, I'm very mad.”

“About me being Daredevil?”

“No, Matty about you keeping it from me. What you do for people in danger is amazing. I love that you use your senses selflessly. I mean I hate the fact that you get hurt in the process but clearly, you can handle yourself.”

“You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that.”

“I'm glad I could help. But seriously the next time you keep a secret like this for that long, we're over.” You make eye contact with him as you say this, needing him to know you're not joking.

“I promise I won't.”

“Good! Now onto that not having a next girlfriend thing?”

“Ugh, do we have to?” He leans back, making you yelp as you fall into him.

“Yes, we have to. I want to hear you say it.”

“It means I want to marry you.” You giggle at his words.

“I knew it, you're obsessed with me.”

“Does that mean you want to marry me too?” He asks hopefully. You almost feel bad for your next words.

“Hmm. I'll tell you next year.”

He runs his hands over his face. “You are not funny.” He says that but you can see the smile he's hiding.

Before you can respond, the doorbell rings. Perfect timing. “You keep a secret, I keep a secret.” You shrug and head to answer the door.

When you go back to the couch and set the food on the coffee table, Matt pulls you into him once again.

“Someone's touchy today.”

“Just happy you're not trying to beat my ass.”

“I would win.”

“Oh definitely.” You feel him smile on your neck. “Are you gonna make me wait another year to propose?”

“Sorry baby but you know I don't marry someone before the second year.”

“You're killing me y'know.” He groans loudly in your ear, making you lean away from his ticklish breath.

“Maybe your next girlfriend will marry you before the first anniversary.” You yelp again as he pulls you even further into him, using his strength to make sure you're as close as possible.

“Sweetheart you are the last girlfriend I'll ever have.”

“Oh, I know I am.”

“Oh god, what does that mean?”

“It means if you ever have another girlfriend I'll haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“Haunt me? Are you dead in this scenario?” He asks in obvious confusion.

“Yes because I'm never gonna let you leave me.”

“I'm beginning to think you're a little crazy.”

“Crazy about you.” You wiggle your eyebrows.

“That was terrible.”

“That was amazing, I'm a great flirt.”

“Yes, you are.” He chuckles, in that amazing deep voice. “I'm sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“I'm sorry for not asking you directly and using Foggy.”

He holds his hand out to you, sticking out his pinky.

“What's this?”

“A pinky promise.”

“Oh, a pinky promise with the devil.”

“Stop that, I promise not to lie to you again and you promise to ask me things instead of tricking poor Foggy.”

“Okay fine. Pinky promise.” You link your finger with him.

“I love you.”

“Aww thank you.” You laugh at his surprised expression.

“Say it back.” He whines.

“I don't wanna.” You can't hide the smile on your face.

Matt takes a second to stop himself from smiling before making the biggest, most dramatic frown.

“Fine, I love you too.” You break out in giggles as he tackles you.

#matt murdock my beloved #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock imagines #matt murdock one shot #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock reader insert #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fanfic #matt murderdock x female reader #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fics

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just-j-really · 7 months

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Concept that grabbed me and wouldn't let me go:

Dreamling soulmate AU, only they're not soulmates.

I have ideas for the canon timeline, but for the sake of argument, let's go with a modern AU. Dream and Hob aren't friends, exactly, but they're in the same friend circle, so they see each other fairly often. And one night, Dream's been dragged out drinking with some friends, and he overhears a very drunk Hob saying that soulmates are stupid, HE'S not going to go along with it, he'll fall in love with whoever he wants! So Dream (a hopeless romantic) makes some sort of bet with him, that when he finds his soulmate he'll be blissfully happy with her.

After that, whenever they run into each other at other's friends' events Dream will ask Hob if he's met his soulmate (Eleanor, according to the messy handwriting on Hob's arm), and Hob will be like "Nope! But I've got a job at this weird startup!" and then talk at him for three hours. The bet goes from a bet they're taking seriously to an excuse to talk to each other to a Weird Bit that's an essential part of their friendship.

And they are, genuinely, friends at this point, which is why it's such a betrayal for Dream when Hob answers his joking "found your soulmate yet?" with a quiet, "I think I might have. He's been asking me that question for like a year now."

Dream does not take this well. He believes in soulmates, wholeheartedly. He can't figure out a single interpretation of Hob's declaration that doesn't leave him feeling used: best-case scenario Hob legit believes what he's saying (but is still using Dream in this obviously doomed experiment of his), worst-case scenario Hob's noticed that Dream is attracted to him (even if that will never ever go any further than meaningless attraction because they are not soulmates) and is deliberately trying to take advantage of him to prove his point.

They argue. Dream storms off.

Somewhere in here, Dream has a relationship with his Actual Literal Soulmate, Alianora. It is extremely Messy, and she breaks it off because they may be soulmates but clearly this is not working. She's not the first person ever to end things with their soulmate, but it's extremely rare, and the fallout is shit-awful for both of them because everyone in their lives is trying to figure out whose fault it was, never mind that the answer was "nobody's- they met under really awful circumstances and the specific cocktail of that and the pressure, both internal and external, they were under to Be Perfectly Happy Together Forever just. Poisoned their relationship and they didn't deal with it until it exploded and by then it was too late."

Eventually, Dream and Hob resolve their argument, complete with an inn-building-equivalent Big Gesture from Hob. Their relationship goes back to the way it was, mostly, except that Dream is undeniably aware that Hob is sad and pining after Dream and trying to hide it from him. And Hob being sad is Basically the Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen.

Dream is... more aware of the implications of that thought than he'd like to be.

And once he's noticed that it's really, really hard not to notice how gorgeous Hob is when he smiles, the way his heart flutters whenever Hob calls him a nickname or makes sure to grab Dream a coffee when he gets one for himself, the fact that he'd be perfectly happy sitting and listening to Hob talk for hours...

And things are different now. Dream's soulmate doesn't want him, he's not betraying her if he starts a doomed relationship with someone else. Hob will be happy. The only person getting hurt here will be Dream, when Hob inevitably meets his soulmate. He's setting himself up to get hurt, yes, but at least he'll get to be happy with Hob before that.

So one night he very tentatively asks if Hob still meant what he said, about Dream being his soulmate. Hob's like "Crap I thought I was hiding it I'm so sorry I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Dream's like "You are not actually that subtle. But I'm. Glad. You still feel that way."

It takes Hob a few seconds and a fairly terrible emotional rollercoaster to figure out what Dream meant by that, and Dream is not good about clarifying. But when he does he asks Dream on a date, and Dream agrees, and before he knows what's hit him Hob's moved in with him and is very cautiously hinting around about engagement rings and he can't possibly be in love with Hob, right? Whatever's between them is too easy, too natural, too much like they added romance to their existing friendship and somehow it worked perfectly and-

Oh. Shit.

And just when Dream realizes he's invested- not just invested, committed, this was Absolutely Not how the story's supposed to go and it's terrifying but he desperately wants it anyway- just when he's got something to lose-

Hob meets Eleanor.

And almost immediately asks if Dream would mind him explaining things to her one-on-one, since he thinks it would go more smoothly that way. Dream says he doesn't, and braces himself. It's not that he thinks Hob is lying to him. He 100% trusts that Hob has made this meeting to turn Eleanor down.

He's just also 100% certain that the moment Hob has a conversation with his soulmate he'll realize just how important a soulmate is, that Dream was right and that next to the person he's destined for, Dream means nothing to him.

When Hob gets back from the meeting he's happier than Dream's seen him in months, maybe ever, and Dream braces himself.

But the first thing Hob does after closing the door is kiss Dream, for several minutes.

And the second thing he does is excitedly tell Dream, "It went really well! She said I'm not worth it!"

And Dream's like "...what."

And Hob explains that he'd told Eleanor that he was very sorry, but he already had a soulmate, and she'd been upset but essentially told him "Yeah fine, if you're this adamant about not wanting a soulmate it is not at all worth it for me to pursue anything," with a grudging sort of understanding.

And Dream's like "...what."

And they go back and forth for a bit until finally Dream's like "But she's your SOULMATE. You're not even going to TRY to have something with your soulmate in order to stay with a man who is so bad at romance his soulmate left him."

And Hob's like "I've been saying for years now that you're my perfect other half, soulmates and destiny be damned, and I meant it. You're perfect, and I'm not letting you go for anything."

And Dream... still can't entirely believe in an undying non-soulmate romance the way Hob does. But he wants to, and he trusts Hob enough to try. And several years later they're married, maybe talking about kids, and in some mundane little domestic moment Dream realizes he does entirely believe in this now, in a way that snuck up on him gradually.

And he tells Hob he's won the bet.

#dreamling #the anti-soulmate au #the follow up to this is Eleanor and Alianora doing an enemies-to-lovers thing #with dreamling being obnoxiously domestic in the background #my fic #unsoulmates au

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m00nsbaby · 8 months

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You think you can write some Steven angst. So basically reader and steven love each other very much and are exclusive. But one day reader sees the body with a women and is so sad. But they try to forgot about it and be happy with him. But their friends send photos of the body with other women( could be Layla or random idk which ever hurts more.) Reader starts to distance themselves. Not cuddle as much, pulling away, saying they busy. But reader comes to the apartment because they live together. And the body is in the bed with a women. And you can write what happens next. Whether steven knows about the other two or has no clue.

hurting steven? that's my cup of tea 😈

Ground control.

Steven Grant x reader.

Tags & warnings. Angst, cheating but not at all. ? Mentions of Marc Spector.

Word count. 2.4k

Summary.

Now I think we've lost it all, There's nothing to explain the distances anymore. All systems are critical, Can't find my way back to you. Feels like there's nowhere to go, I'm just out here waiting for you say; "Don't be afraid, no."

All the signs were there.

Being an avid fan of romantic dramas, you knew by heart the signs of infidelity, but you never counted on Steven Grant breaking every law of logic you had memorized before him and his presence in your life.

Someone who looked at you that way couldn't be lying to you.

"Where were you yesterday?" You extended your arms to him, and he immediately understood the message.

You always worked so well.

Steven hugged you, his entire weight pressing down on you, and you complained only about the pressure, not necessarily because you didn't like it. You laughed.

"I was at the museum, lovey. Why?"

"And after that?"

Still resting on top of you, he propped himself up on one arm so he could face you. He had that confused expression on his face that combined with his usual smile.

He genuinely seemed confused.

"I came home, why?"

You decided to drop the subject there, whether as a silly or rational choice. There was nothing wrong with both of you keeping certain things hidden, right? Maybe the girl he was with the day before was just a friend.

And even though logic told you that Steven Grant didn't have many friends, you pushed those thoughts out of your head when you kissed his lips.

"I love you." Your hands cradled his cheeks, and without him being aware, you analyzed his face, hoping to find some kind of micro-expression that would betray his lies.

His little eyes sparkled, his smile widened until those tiny wrinkles you loved so much formed. You could even swear he blushed at the intimacy of the situation, even after 6 months of living together.

He made you doubt your own judgment because even though your eyes had clearly registered what they had seen, when Steven looked at you like that, you were convinced.

He couldn't be lying.

You quickly forgot the issue, even when you came home early and didn't see him there, or when you felt him leave the bed in the early morning. You knew everyone around you thought you were foolish, but you always preferred to call it rational.

Would you forget the love of your life just because Steven had a female friend? Nah, that option was never on the table.

Unfortunately, your friends didn't forget as quickly as you did.

"Is this the girl from last time?"

Attached to the text message was a photo of Steven with the mysterious girl.

Your stomach churned.

"Are you crazy? Don't photograph my boyfriend like that! It's weird, hahaha."

The forced laughter was a way to cover up how suddenly hurt you felt.

Now, in the solitude of your apartment, you had the opportunity to look at the photo until your eyes hurt. Zooming in on the girl's face, her beautiful curly hair, and her deep brown eyes looking at Steven in a way that seemed disgustingly familiar to you.

Steven, on the other hand, had a barely visible face in the photo, and that was killing you. You would have loved to zoom in on his eyes and finally dispel the doubt about whether that tiny glint of brightness was there.

That would have confirmed or discarded any theories you might have had.

The sound of the door almost gave you a heart attack. You dropped your phone, which bounced on the floor as if you had thrown it on purpose.

"I'm home!" He always did that, and for as long as you could remember, it had brought a smile to your face.

Except now, of course. As if the damage wasn't enough, you stepped on your phone to hide it under your shoe.

"What are you doing here?" He entered, laughing, as carefree as ever.

As Steven as ever.

"I was…" You cleared your throat; suddenly, it felt like you were short of breath, but you smiled. It was foolish of you to assume that Steven hadn't noticed you were acting strangely.

When he approached to kiss you, you turned your face, and his lips landed on your cheek.

There was a citrusy scent on his clothes, completely opposite to your sweet perfumes.

Both of you faltered in your smiles; you couldn't stop thinking about his escapades between work, if he was even still going, and Steven trembled at the mere thought of your rejection.

Maybe you just weren't in the mood.

His theory was confirmed when you turned your back on him in bed.

Steven figured that the honeymoon period was over because he could swear you had been in a bad mood all week.

Not that it bothered him at all. He remembered quite clearly all the times he had promised you that he would never leave, no matter how tough things got, and he also remembered that you had done the same on multiple occasions.

And the truth was, this was nothing to him; something as small as this would never make him consider leaving you. If anything, it was more about the fact that he understood he had to work harder to be okay with you.

You were worth the effort, and besides, he really didn't know what had you acting this way; there could be a million reasons behind it, and probably any of them made sense.

"Look." It was the first thing he said when you entered the apartment.

He was there early, which was a good sign.

"I saw it on my way here." Your eyes focused on the bouquet of roses he held in his right hand and then offered to you along with his best smile.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, and although you would have loved to hide your smile, it was impossible for you.

"It's beautiful, Steven." It had been a while since you alternated between his nicknames and his name. He had to confess that he didn't like not always being "my love," sometimes he was just "Steven," but he would deal with it.

Your smile was worth it; he saw you genuinely happy for once in what had been quite some time for both of you.

And although the kiss you gave him on the lips was very quick and short, he felt well rewarded for his small gesture.

Over time, the situation became difficult for him to deal with, and not precisely because Steven wasn't a patient man, but because panic could consume him quickly when it came to his self-esteem.

He was never shy about expressing how much he loved you, verbally, through actions, even in writing, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to you that your rejection meant constant blows to his heart.

He felt cold at night when you refused to hug him back or when you pushed him away slowly until he let go, you stopped welcoming him home with a kiss or rather stopped welcoming him at all, there were days when he would find you asleep when he arrived.

Regardless of whether the sun hadn't fully set yet.

You had also stopped responding to his "I love you." If he was lucky, maybe you would murmur a small "me too." Only if he was lucky.

"I finished another book." He tried to get your attention with a sad smile, and you looked at him over your laptop.

Turned out, Steven and you had this habit where your motivation to read was him. He finished books in days and made the silliest and funniest annotations anyone could imagine; you refused to read books involving Egyptian mythology if they hadn't passed through Steven's hands before.

"I don't think I have time these days." Lie. You had more time than you would like. "Maybe you can lend it to someone else."

Your boyfriend had a collection of similar comments that you had made before stored in his memory, and he wondered what he wasn't understanding.

Were you suspecting something about him?

Steven refused to believe it.

Why? Simply because it didn't make sense, not when his life revolved around his job, the apartment he shared with you, and you.

It would be bonkers to simply assume something like that.

"Just tell me what I'm doing wrong." He was almost sobbing as both of you had the argument of your lives.

You couldn't remember ever hearing Steven raise his voice before, and he couldn't recall ever hearing you so upset, specifically with him.

His questions were pushing you to the limit; he had such an incredible way of pretending he had no idea what was going on that you felt like you were about to explode. You didn't have the strength to tell him in your own words what you knew was happening. The least you hoped for was that Steven would be brave enough to tell you he was having an affair.

"It's her, Steven!" You broke down; your hands were rubbing your face desperately.

And he didn't understand, of course he didn't.

His lower lip trembled in a pout.

"Who, love?" His broken voice made you tremble in your place. "What are you talking about? Just tell me, and we'll figure out how to fix it."

And the cycle repeated itself. You didn't have the strength to refute Steven when he seemed so bewildered by your questions.

That night, you slept in his arms for the first time in a long while, and everything felt like trying to connect two puzzle pieces that didn't fit together. Both stressed, in pain, and with tears in your eyes, wondering how to fix this.

How could you deal with the love you had for him while each day he found new ways to break your heart?

Everything exploded on an ordinary Wednesday as you were returning from work.

When you noticed that the apartment door wasn't locked, you swallowed hard, expecting the worst. What if you walked in and all your stuff had disappeared? Neither you nor Steven were in a position to take extra shifts.

You mustered up the courage and took a step inside, better now than never. You chose to be silent, just in case someone was still inside, and you had to make a quick escape.

Of course, within seconds, the sounds coming from your shared bedroom immediately shattered any theories involving burglars or anything similar. However, this situation somehow turned your stomach even more.

Your hand trembled, your whole body trembled.

Before entering the bedroom, you already knew what you would find, and yet you had to verify it with your own eyes because in your mind, you still believed that your Steven would never be capable of doing something like this to you.

But there he was, still wearing the clothes he had left in that morning, on top of the mysterious girl, the one with beautiful curly hair and chocolate eyes that you could even identify as 'precious.'

"Steven!?" You screamed, finally pulling him out.

"Fuck." It was the only thing he could mumble as he got up from bed.

Had it been stupid on Marc's part to do something like this? Definitely, but the thing was, this game of the two lives was beginning to get out of control. There came a point where he couldn't keep lying to Layla about where he was staying.

You should have noticed that your things were hidden when you arrived.

The framed photographs were facing downward.

"You're the… biggest fucking idiot." you muttered as best you could, tears overflowing from your eyes to the point where neither of them was visible to you. Your legs threatened to give way as you turned to leave.

Marc followed you with the intention of giving you an explanation, even with a deeply confused Layla behind him.

What he didn't account for was that the stress of the moment would cause an immediate switch with Steven. He was there as always, protecting him from an emotional blow while he destroyed Steven's life.

He stumbled to his knees, but his hand still clung to your arm, partly for stability and partly to try to keep you from leaving, because when it came to you, his body reacted automatically.

"Let go of me!"

You couldn't see it, but he was constantly blinking, trying to adjust to the room's light. He felt nauseous as his body tried to understand that he wasn't in the museum as he had believed for a while.

"Love?" He stammered, confused, and you pulled your arm away again. "What are you doing?"

It didn't take him long to understand, though. His disheveled clothes, his racing heart, and Layla's confused gaze behind both of you seeming to be on the verge of exploding.

"Marc?" Her voice made him tense even more. Why did it sound so familiar? "Who is she? What's going on?"

You ignored him because at that moment, you managed to break free of his grip. He was basically chasing you, and it was pushing you to your limits.

"I don't want to see you." You mumbled, quickly grabbing your belongings, money, your cell phone, your charger.

Yes, that one was shared with Steven.

"You don't understand, love, I didn't…" He could barely form coherent sentences; he was only sure that he didn't want to let you go.

And yes, even with the scene you were causing, he followed you out of the apartment.

"I don't get it, I don't know what… It's… I don't know what happened." He sounded terrified, and you wondered to what extent he would keep this facade up.

"Please let me go," you said with a trembling voice as your free hand pushed open the building door. "Steven, you're hurting me." You had wanted to say those words for months.

Only then was he able to loosen his grip.

"Don't look for me, please, I beg you, let me be alone." You managed to put together that sentence without looking at him. Maybe you would regret it if you saw that pained expression again.

He let you go with a horrible headache, feeling like he was about to faint. He sat at the foot of the stairs, both hands covering his face, and his tense body suffering uncontrollable spasms from crying."

Steven didn't stop looking for you, even though a physical encounter became impossible when no one told him where you were staying.

You had to change your phone number when your phone wouldn't stop ringing as soon as you turned it on. Millions of calls and millions of text messages.

Of those, only one caught your attention.

"I'm sick, I finally understand."

And underneath, another message.

"Can we talk? I can explain everything, love, please."

You deleted it along with the rest, and after turning off the phone, you placed it face down in the drawer that had become its permanent home.

Mk's tag list :)

@ninebluehearts @icreatedthisat317am @onefinnedwonder-fm @shousha133

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two-white-butterflies · 8 months

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smart sexy lacy | c55 and c16

Description: Three years after that horrible breakup with Charles Leclerc; now you're dating his teammate. What happens when certain deals are levied upon you? Will you follow through or go back to what you're used to?

Author's Note: Yes, I'm going through something. SEMI INSPIRED BY THAT ONE TIKTOK WITH THE GIRL THAT LOOKED LIKE YOUNG SALMA HAYEK. A little angsty and sad and toxic. But that's life and this happens in real life.

yourusername: Aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist? #YOURNAME in Vogue AUS' new cover. ✨

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carlossainz55: Beautiful ❤️ - yourusername: Handsome ❤️

oliviarodrigo: dazzling starlet... 😇

bellaciao9: It's so weird seeing her be romantic wit Carlos

carlossainz55: She blesses Mallorca. ❤️🇪🇸

liked by yourusername, Charles_Leclerc and 1,293,192 others

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lovingyou71: HOW CARLOS AND CHARLES DATED THIS BADDIE?? I'D NEVER KNOW

livonce0: is it just me or do they look good together?

holypolly: LOVE FROM BRAZIL 🇧🇷

yourusername: when your boyfriend posts an ugly picture of u so u have to remind everyone that u look good. 💥😮

liked by carlossainz55 and 4,129,192 others

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carlossainz55: It's called 'gatekeeping' 🤣

carlosandynfanbase: MOMMY...MOMMY...SORRY?

ynforever: the way that there's 4m likes 💀

A small exhale exited your mouth - oh, you always swore that you were over him, but seeing him walk past you. He's just standing there, breathing beside you - all the while your heart heaves in pain. You wonder if he still wears the same perfume - if he still wears the same lucky pants during race day. Or has he changed?

"Nice weather today," he smiled, gently settling down beside Carlos. You promised that you were over him - but now that he was sitting across from you - fuck, was it hard.

How could ever get over him? How could you ever get over a man who brought two umbrellas just to keep you dry? "It'll be easier to race, right?" you placed a hand on Carlos' chin in an effort to rid that man from your periphery. "Depends on how Max behaves," Carlos chuckles while pressing a kiss to your lips.

"Oh, a little decorum for the minors here." Charles chuckled while pointing at Oscar. "Oscar, this is what true love looks like." your eyes narrowed teasingly at the younger man and he rolled his eyes. Yep, this was true love. "Congrats on the engagement, by the way!" Lando congratulates while raising his champagne glass.

You exchange a side-glance with Charles. He wasn't smiling - and that somehow made you feel better.

yourusername: pinon and carlito ✨ 2 dawgs, 1 frame.

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carlossainz55: ❤️

ynuniverse: I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

bordoutr2: PINON IS SO BIGG OMG

"How much did you pay for your engagement ring?" a street-interviewer suddenly invades your privacy. Carlos gives you a soft glance and you nod, seeing that you had time and there wasn't anything wrong with a little interviewing. "I paid for less than what she's worth," he chuckled - not taking his eyes off you. "Well how much do you think she's worth?" the man asked and he shrugs.

"I'd say all of the jewels in the world - then multiply it by infinity." he laughed while muttering the last word. Carlos absolutely adored you. "He's just bluffing because of the cameras, do you really think that?" your eyebrows merged into each other - he's only said 'i love you' as much as there were fingers in your hands.

You weren't aware that his love was this deep.

"I haven't said it enough - but yeah." he played with the plastic bag on his right hand. To your surprise, the man suddenly turns in your direction. "Do you think that you're worth that much?" he placed the microphone a few inches away from your lips but Carlos interrupts him. "I think that I can answer this one," he glanced at you - and you silently nodded.

"She's worth so much more than that, and this engagement ring is not even a fraction of what I feel for her."

"But if you're spending this much money, what do you get in return?" the interviewer bitterly asked and Carlos couldn't help but laugh a little. He's had years of experience in media training. He could explain his side as eloquently as this man asked his question rudely. "What do I get in return?" Carlos repeated the question. "Yep."

"I get a partner that is loyal to me - a partner that would choose me everyday when there are thousands of men much better than me. I get the mother of my children and a woman that'll be beside me until I die - and this engagement ring is absolutely nothing compared to whatever precious gift she gives me everyday." he smiled at you.

Your eyes twinkled a little bit - you were falling in love with him for the second time. Carlos was even more deeper than what you initially thought - so much more sensible and polite. "Okay, but are you saying that everyone has to spend so much money just to have the bare minimum?" the man inquires and Carlos shakes his head.

"I'll be clear and say that what she gives me is beyond the bare minimum, and it really depends on how much a person makes." he answers and you nod. "It's all about the feelings that come with giving a present," you bite your lower lip and the man frowned. "How much do you earn?" he turned towards Carlos.

"Okay, thank you for interviewing us." he pulled you away - quickly fading into the packed New York crowd.

You weren't prepared to face him alone.

It was a stormy night - a few minutes before your spontaneous engagement dinner with Carlos and the Grid began. The other drivers were in the other room - belting their asses off to singing 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion while you prepared your signature drinks. You were the only person inside the kitchen - until Charles decided to make his way.

"So, are you really going to marry him?" he inquired in a nonchalant tone. A decade ago, you wouldn't even entertain the thought of dating Carlos Sainz - but now, all you wanted to do was marry him. "What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, eyebrows merging into each other. That tone implied something else.

He placed his hands on the counter, staring deep into your eyes. "Let's not do this, please." he pleaded, searching for something behind your face. A hidden longing. Wishful thinking, maybe?

"We always broke up then got back with each other. This is the nature of our relationship, please don't make the wrong decision by marrying someone that cannot handle you." he proposed and you couldn't help but be offended in behalf of your fiancee. "You cannot handle him - he's boring and simple. You are someone that's so fucking explosive. You need someone interesting." he begged.

"Boring? My relationship with Carlos is not exciting - I must admit. It started off in the most boring way - as acquaintances. And our love may be different from what we shared. It's not exciting, or explosive - but it's so fucking sure. I know that I'll choose him everyday and he'll do the same. Something that I cannot guarantee with anyone else." you breathed, lifting the tray off the table and making your way towards the karaoke room.

You'd always choose Carlos, because he was your true love.

yourusername: slaybells, boots dows, houston i'm deceased. 🎄

liked by carlossainz55 and 1,293,291 others

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carlossainz55: te amo y mas - yourusername: te amo tanto

#carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz social media au #f1 social media au

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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pt IX good omens on livestream, i'm not ok: S1E4

You did it, Good Omens fandom, my dear maggots. You broke me in every way. Now I'm here, and where I once spent my day peacefully being sad about normal things, I'm now sad about a random fact about nightingales I learned on a British ornithology site and this is just... the brainrot. It's real. Raise brainrot awareness. Prevention is better than the nonexistent cure.

Well, I've procrastinated this post by like 48 hours by drawing fanart and being mopey over Crowley and generally being asleep because I'm still on antibiotics and ill. So let us not procrastinate further. First, episode 4. Tally, hoes!

In preparation for the stream, I gathered two emotional support oranges, only one of which was gaseous, and an apple. This was so that rather than waste an orange on being gay for Crowley I'd use the apple for that, symbolic of his temptation in the Garden of Eden etc. I didn't know how badly this plan would go.

On Discord, our collective loins girded, I noticed with no small suspicion that everyone was muttering about the bookshop and whether I'd be okay. When I demanded frantically what happened to the bookshop (I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS IN S2) everyone shut up and told me the bookshop was in tiptop shape and it was all tickety-boo and nothing would happen at all in episode 5.

Spoiler alert it is not all tickety-boo.

We start with Aziraphale going for a jog to keep uh fit for exercising with Crowley, and he is interrupted by Gabriel, who is not Jimbriel, and is not naked, that is, we cannot see his arse yet, but we can see that he is an arse.

We then see not-Newt the deliveryman with his wife Maude and they are the only straight couple that the people on the chat care about. Calling him not-Newt is going to pose problems for me.

Crowley is being a smart baby, and researching astronomy. Poor Crowley. I love Crowley. Do you understand? I LOVE CROWLEY.

There is a lot of talk of spoons and forks and such innuendos. I make a joke about scissors being missing. The chat does not notice. I am disappointed in the gays.

I am so engrossed in the way Death says "deeAaaAAthHHhh" that I fail to notice Not-Newt get killed delivering a message to Death. This is going to pose problems for me.

I forgot about the apocalypse plotline till the horsepeople arrive. This is understandable. I care not for this 'world' ending, my new world is Crowley. I love Crowley.

Duck aliens fucking descend. This is not a joke. There are duck aliens, and they are supportive of trans people. Newt does not count their nipples.

The Shad guy doesn't care Newt found aliens. He is upset that Newt didn't find witches. If Shad was mowing his lawn and found gold, he would toss it aside because he is focused on mowing. I can respect that. People make jokes about Newt eventually finding a witch.

It is suddenly a Christopher Nolan movie. Someone corrects me and says it's more like Jerry Bruckheimer. I do not know what that is.

Someone says Crowley destroys the Bentley but for whatever reason, like a lot of people before, makes it a black box that you have to click to read. I don't mind that, I like clicking.

Aziraphale bought out a theatre for Crowley, like a Kdrama where the rich CEO buys out an entire theatre for his working class girl.

Adam goes through what I went through with OCD. It is not fun.

It is now a horror movie. Adam floats in the air. That was not a symptom I had with OCD.

Crowley asks Aziraphale to run away with him to the stars. Aziraphale says no. Crowley is upset and my baby Azi looks so sad and confused about everything he believes in. Great. I'm totally fine, I think as I start stuffing my emotional support orange into my mouth.

It is now a Home Alone movie. Crowley in gloves is sexy. Mmmmmmm yes. Crowley does great advertising for plant spray bottles as he murders and threatens demons.

I point out that the GO book says Crowley can do "weird things with his tongue" as I learned from the GO scent guide company page. It was after all the most relevant take-away from that page.

Disco Tony arrives. This is not a safe space.

AZIRAPHALE KEEPS TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND IS FAILED BY HEAVEN LEAVE MY BABY AZI ALONE WTF GO AWAY. THE ANGELS WALL SLAM HIM TOO. THAT'S CROWLEY'S THING YOU BASTARDS.

Newt and Anathema are cute. I DON'T NOTICE BECAUSE IM SO UPSET HE'S CHEATING ON MAUDE AND WONDERING WHY THE CHAT IS OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE I AM A FOOL WHO CONTINUES TO MIX UP NEWT WITH NOT-NEWT AND THEN THE CHAT TELLS ME NOT-NEWT DIED AND I'M CONFUSED.

Newt and Anathema are having sex. As an aspec person, I am very alarmed at the visuals.

Azi is failed by heaven and the metatron. Shocker. Fucking get away from Azi. Azi is miserable and looks like he wants to cry.

AZI IS EXORCISED AND THE FUCKING FLAME CATCHES IN THE BOOKSHOP AND THE EPISODE ENDS.

TAKE MY PAIN MOTHERFUCKERS. I WILL POST THIS AND THEN WRITE THE EP5 PART.

#good omens #good omens mascot #good omens fandom #crowley #weirdly specific but ok #lgbtqia #aziraphale #asmi #neil gaiman #aziracrow #good omens spoilers #ineffable fandom #ineffable husbands #good omens summary #ineffably queer #go s1 #good omens 1 #go s1 ep4

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novemberhope · 2 months

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So... I did a thing and decided to write Neri into the live action timeline. This takes place somewhere shortly before they meet Usopp. So far, it's just Luffy, Nami and Zoro on the crew as well as Neri whom they just have met.

It's kind of from Neri's POV and the reason she's calling them by their titles rather than their names when thinking about them is that she still does not trust them. I think she will start to trust Luffy first because really how can you not?

tw: assault (Neri gets assaulted here but is saved before anything bad can happen) English is not my first language so sorry if the writing feels weird, I haven't written a story in english in a while

"Stop inviting random people onto our ship. Especially if there's nothing they can contribute." "But… she's nice… and I wanted to help her… I'm sure she'll find a place in our crew!" "For the last time, we are not a crew!" The swordsman's words hurt and Neri, not waiting for the captain's answer, slowly moved away from the door. Sure, it had been nice of the rubber boy to help her out when she was on the run from her pursuers. Still, she shouldn't have come with them. This wasn't her place to be, this wasn't her home. The moment these people would learn who - or rather, what - she really was, she would end up being sold again. She would never be safe on a ship where she could come in contact with water so easily. The ship was still at the harbor. This was as good a time as any to leave the ship. She felt sad for the captain to had so nicely offered her a place in his crew, but it was too dangerous. And while rubber boy had been nothing but kind to her, the other two hadn't been as friendly. They clearly didn't trust her. And really, who could blame them? She hadn't been able to tell them anything without giving away her real species, so of course they didn't trust her. And once they knew… mermaids brought in the big cash, especially here in the East Blue, where they were so rare - it would only get her back to where she had fled from. After everything that had happened, after losing everyone she cared about, she wanted a home, a family, a place where she belonged. But this was not it. This could never be it. "Hey, where are you going?" the red-headed navigator asked when Neri slowly tried to climb off the ship. "I… have something… I mean… there's something I need to do", she stammered. She didn't want to say she was leaving - even that didn't feel safe anymore. Just disappear, she told herself. They barely know you. They will move on and you can… Well, that was the thing, the only place she probably would be safe was Fishman Island but it was all the way out there on the Grandline, the Pirate's Graveyard… and to get there, she would have to get on a ship - the very thing she couldn't do because on a ship, she would come in contact with water sooner or later and then everyone would know… "Well, suit yourself," the navigator said with a shrug. "Just be aware, we'll be heading out soon. If you're not back by then…" Neri nodded. She wouldn't be back by then and she figured the navigator knew that. Quickly, she left the ship and started to walk across the harbor, pushing past people. It was a small island but the harbor was still pretty busy during this time of the day. There were people loading the ships, sailors were coming and going, children playing in the middle of all this, running around and causing people to stumble, and passengers impatiently waiting to board one of the bigger ships. It was almost too much noise to handle but Neri kept on walking. For a moment, she thought someone had called her name - maybe the captain? It sounded like him. He had saved her the other day and invited her to join them and she had actually liked him. Still, it wasn't meant to be. Surely, he would understand that she had made her decision. She kept on walking without looking back.

Leaving the harbor, it got even more crowded. There was a market nearby and people all went into this direction, pushing Neri with them. She started to feel anxious. It was too loud, too crowded, too many people just shoving her out for their way when she wasn't walking fast enough. But walking on land was still something she was getting used too. Under the sea, things were not like this - not this crowded, not this loud, not this harsh. Nearby, some men were starting to yell at each other. This brought back unpleasant memories from getting yelled at herself while being imprisoned. Quickly, Neri stepped sideways into the shadows. It was the entry to a side alley with huge, unpleasant smelling dumpsters lining the brick walls on both sides. It was quieter here, the further she kept walking, so she went on, ignoring the unpleasant smell. Maybe this alley would take her away from all the noise and all the people. Sure, she still had no place to go, but anything was better than here right now. But suddenly, she was no longer alone. Behind her, voices got louder and louder. They were talking to each other, it seemed. She stopped and leaned against a wall that belonged to a tall rundown warehouse building. Maybe they would walk past her, minding their own business. Unfortunately, as she had already learned, humans rarely did. These ones were no exception. They were adult males, three of them, with bottles in their hands, obviously already - or still - drunk at this time of the day. Neither of them looked too pleasant. Neri shrank back and just hoped and prayed they would walk past without noticing her. They nearly did. But then one of them turned his head and suddenly stopped. "Look at this," he said. "A little lady…" Quickly, Neri turned, and, avoiding eye contact, tried to keep walking. Unfortunately, she was immediately grabbed and yanked back. "Hey little lady, not so fast," the guy from before said. "Let's have a proper look at you, alright?" "No thank you," Neri muttered and started to run. Unfortunately, she immediately was grabbed. One of the guys was firmly holding her with her arms behind her back while the other two were leering at her. "Please let me go!" "Please let me go!" they mocked her. "There's no chance we're letting you get away, sweetheart. You're too pretty!" Neri started to panic. She tried to kick them, but they only laughed at her attempts to get free. One of them roughly yanked at her hair for trying to kick him. "Be nice," he warned her. "Or we'll show you just how nasty we can get!" "You're already nasty!" she replied, still struggeling. Was this really how it all would end? Were all humans like this? Other than the rubbery captain and his two friends, they all had treated her like shit. Ever since she had been caught and dragged on land, it had gotten worse and worse. "Let's show her just how nasty we can get," one of them laughed. They were all grabbing her now. She screamed and kicked and bit one of them in the arm, but that only resulted in her getting slapped in the face. Neri screamed again when she was thrown onto the dirty ground like a piece of trash. Then someone was over her - and then he wasn't anymore.

"And just what are you going to show her?" another voice asked. It was the swordsman's voice and Neri breathed a sign of relief. At the same time she was wondering how he got here and why he was here. She had thought the navigator had understood that she had left for good. "How is that any of your business?" one of the guys sneered. "Let's knock this freak out", the second one said. "Ummm, have you looked at him? He's carrying three swords," the third one said, slowly stepping back. "So what?" The first one rolled his eyes. "He can only use one at a time anyway." Next thing they knew, all three of them were bleeding. Their bottles were on the ground. And the swordsman was holding two of his swords. "I can get the third one out, too," he said. The first guy looked like he thought it would be a good idea to get into a fight, but luckily, the other two started dragging him away. Neri hastily got onto her feet. She wanted to turn and run away too but her legs were shaking. "Next time I'll see you, I'll cut off your hands," the swordsman called after them. They weren't even looking back. He turned his attention towards Neri. "And what are you doing? Why aren't you on the ship?" "I was… leaving?" She thought that had been quite clear and besides, neither he and the navigator had been too impressed when their captain had invited her to join them. "Oh yeah? Well next time, you run that by Luffy first. He still thinks you're on the crew." She threw him a look. "I thought you're not a crew?" "Well, Luffy thinks we are… and for now, we have some common goals, so… didn't you say you want to reach the Grandline too?" Yes, she wanted to get to Fishman Island - maybe there she would finally be save again… "Yes, but… I'm just a random person your captain picked up on the street," she said. "I heard you talking. And I mean, you're not wrong…" He grimaced. "Yeah, well, I'm trying to prevent Luffy from adding every weirdo we come across to this so-called crew. If you prove yourself to not be a weirdo… you're welcome to join as long as you pull your weight on board." Not a weirdo… well, from a human perspective, she definitely was weird. But maybe, just maybe… she could hide that a little longer until they were on the Grandline at least?

Looking down the dirty and dark alley, she realized that she needed a place to stay and people to rely on. This wasn't her world. She had to rely on someone else, even if it was only temporary. "I'll try not to be burden," she replied. "I've never been at sea before." Well, on a boat, she silently added. The swordsman turned and started walking and she hurried along to keep up with him. "How did you find me, anyway?" she wanted to know. "I didn't," he replied. "I was actually trying to take a shortcut. The streets on this island are just really confusing." "Are they?" she wondered, following him out of the alley. There was, after all, only one main road leading from the harbor in the direction of the market. "Are they not?" He looked back at her. "I mean, I can't even see the ocean from here." She didn't know if she should giggle or not. For someone wielding three swords, he was surprisingly clueless when it came to directions. "That's because you're looking in the wrong direction," she said, deciding to surpress the giggles for now. "The ocean's over there." Irritated, he looked around. Yes, there was the ocean, and it wasn't even that far away. The deep blue color could clearly be spotted from where they were standing. "Like I said, it's confusing," he grumbled. Finally, he walked in the right direction and she followed him, slightly amused. And maybe… her new crewmates weren't that perfect either? So perhaps she wouldn't feel completely out of place all the time…

The ship came into view and it looked ready to sail. It was a small one and there had already been talk about getting a bigger one. Luffy, the captain, was waving at them. "There you are! Come on, let's go!" Quicky, they climbed on board. "I'm sorry," Neri said to Luffy, feeling she should at least say something to explain the delay. "I was just…" "Got everything sorted out?" Luffy asked her, grinning. "Well, then I guess we're all set. Let's get going!" "Set the sails!" the navigator shouted at them. And soon, they were out at sea, the island behind them getting smaller and smaller. In front of them, the ocean shimmered in the deepest blue, spreading far and wide before them. It was a marvelous sight and Neri, leaning over the railing, with the wind in her long hair, suddenly felt very calm and at peace with her situation for the first time since she had been captured. Maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out okay?

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ianthoni · 2 months

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Weird anon ask : This is 100% fanfic brain, but i like the idea of Anthony being insecure about Ian being the the one to leave next, like "i left and found myself, Ian gets to have a sabbatical as well”. Or about one of them being insecure about "Anthony leaving when things get hard " irl i don't believe this is the case, they are mature well-adjusted adults and owning Smosh outright neither of them will leave..... probably. But for the angst factor i like the idea of them loving each other but having a “he could leave and be better off ” felling until they scream at each other.

But from the assumptions video it’s believable Anthony would have thought “he was here through the bad times, and I wasn’t”, because Ian could have lest Smosh die and walk away when Defy shut down but he didn’t.

I think till recent times Ian was so afraid to Anthony is gonna leave again like he actually had abandonment issues. To a degree that he stops himself from saying simple things to Anthony. Like in the funeral how he said he was surprised Anthony could take roasts well he didn't even roast Anthony in the funeral roast. Or when he just wants to say something simple he holds himself from saying it. He said he sometimes is too rude and says things directly and hurts people i think this is coming from Anthony's diary where he said Ian was a bitter person and took his bitterness from others by being mean. What's so interesting to me is Erin or others bts always wants Ian whenever he says something simple. Like in one of the recent lives he called Anthony dumb or something but a silly way not actually. And i think it was Erin that warned him not to do it. I think he probably told them to warn him if he was being mean to Anthony and that's what they're doing but this also affect his relationship with Anthony because Anthony wants him to be vulnerable with him. He wants Ian to talk to him unfiltered. But again lately Ian doesn't hold himself back and joke around with Anthony so I'm assuming he comes over this fear a little now.

For Anthony i don't think he's ever afraid Ian is gonna leave but i think he kinda is sad/regrets that he was not around and couldn't help him when Ian was at his lowest. Cause you can see in his eyes every time Ian/ someone talks about how Ian was struggling at the time and depressed he looks sad like genuinely. He has this protective possession over Ian he wants to protect him and help him at all costs. So i think from his point he is sad that he left Ian alone and that depressed.

To end this good after the assumptions video i can say they are matured about this. Like they are aware of each other's pain and traumas and they show they care about each other. But they are finally moved on from that. Like Ian saying "oh we were busy i didn't notice" about the missing time between. I think they went to a lot of therapy and talk to each other a lot and decided that "we should move on, we should live our present, we should focus on our future, we shouldn't just sit and mourn over the lost time" and that's why now they're saying they needed that time and now they're better than ever. I think they accepted that it is what it is and it had to happen so they can move on from that. And honestly I'm so proud of them coming this far as mental health and as best friends. I'm so proud of both.

#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #☀️🔍#some late night analysis #asks

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wolfclaire · 3 months

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How would you think the story would've played out if a different Gem got transported into the games, and I'm not limiting it to just the Afterlife Gems. Like if either Empires Season Gems met Pearl instead of Spider, especially Season 2 Esmp Gem, considering she's essentially the opposite of Pearl in a way?? Sun imagery with butterfly wings and the pointed ears on her skin implies she'd look/be something like a sun elf yet also unlike Pearl she's in almost complete control of her own fate and what 'games' she plays by hopping different universes and LARPing as whatever character she wants. Season one Gem can also be interesting, especially if it's near the end of the season or after the end of the season. Season one Gem getting transported into a death game where her people who look like her friends who are either missing or dead in her eyes messed up in ways they weren't before and one of your closest friends aka Pearl seems so sad and gone from the cheerful queen you knew her as. Also I choose to believe that S1!Gem is at least passively or actively aware of differing timelines cause of her reaction from when she met S2!Sausage and I think she was aware that she basically just three Evil Sausage into a little mirror of her own universe which would be like an alternate ones, I'm kinda reaching, especially since I haven't rewatched Empires S1 yet, but still I can't resist the angst of Gem knowing that these aren't her friends but still desperately trying to hold onto them like they are because the rapture happened so suddenly and abruptly when things were finally looking better and she doesn't wanna accept things. I also can't resist what would be the DL cast's reaction to these two, especially Pearl and maybe Grian

Ngl I really wonder what would be Pearl's and Grian's opinion/impression of them if it were either of them transferred and not Spider Gem

Sorry for rambling I've just been thinking about this a lot and sorry if it doesn't make sense or if it's even in character-

-Sun anon, still happy birthday also <3

Okay...let me just put this into seperated questions...cause this got potential. So ES1 and ES2 Gems would be probably totally different with the reaction to Pearl and everything happening.

ES1 Gem, post rapture (or during rapture), has basically nothing left. No kingdom, no friends, she only has her magic, Violet and fWhip. She didn't "roleplay", she isn't "LARPing", everything happening to her is real, and hurtful. If she was the one transported into the games, she would find familiarity with Pearl, but she would know something is wrong. She is The Headmistres of Crystal Cliffs, she is The Grand Wizard, she would notice Pearl's acting strange (Red stuff) and her and others memories being off.

ES2 Gem, however, wouldn't think of this "transportation" as a big deal at first. I don't think she would take it seriously at the start, as "it's just a game" or "it's just LARPing". She couldn't understand in canon why nobody else (except Pixlriffs and Oli) didn't think of anything as a big deal...she only thought they were good actors in a way. It would take Pearl's death for her to realize that this "game" is not as innocent as she might have thought...

As for Grians and Pearl's reaction? Well...

Grian wouldn't mind ES2 Gem, she looks like a guilable little princess that he can wrap around his finger... But ES1 Gem? Oh, that would be dissaster. He can tell this one is smart, he can tell she has powers on her side... He would try to get rid of her asap, even going as far as killing her himself.

Pearl, on the other hand, would feel a little weirded out by any of those two. ES1 Gem is nice....strangely overly nice, for some reason... And ES2 Gem doesn't seem to take anything seriously...she is very carefree for someone who shouldn't have unlimited lives (Grey names don't work with the same rules as those in from the specific world)

There is a lot of Angst potential, just in a different favour than what my version with Spider Gem has to offer :)

#alone together #alone together ask #anon ask #sun anon #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #grian #spider gem #wizard gem #princess gem #empires smp

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pagodazz · 4 months

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VINVAN HCS!! that NO ONE ASKED FOR!!!

@freezingmcxn

THESE TWO ARE ABSOLUTELY MY EVERYTHING. like. Absolutely top two favorite characters. I know I talk about Vinnie and HABIT quite a bit but I assure you, I love Evan and Vinnie more.

These two are so perfect for each other and they fit so well, like a puzzle piece clicking together.

They're always gonna be together and there for each other in every single universe. in every single life. It's always gonna be them two. They'll always be the last two to remain.

Their souls are just intertwined together, and they'll always find each other.

-------------------

While Vinnie was locked up in the apartment, Evan showed up, and he stayed there for a little while. Vinnie says that Evan stayed on the couch, but I know that is absolutely UNTRUE.

I think Vinnie let Evan inside, instantly checking him over for any wounds, more panicked than excited to see his friend. It would only be when Evan grabs his hands and makes him stop, that'd he finally remember to be relieved that it's Evan he's touching.

Evan would pull him into his arms, hugging him tighter than he EVER has before, pushing his face into his neck, breathing him in. Vinnie is the only thing he has left, the only real thing Evan has and he's so fucking thankful for that. Normally he wouldn't cry, but he's just so happy to see that vinnie is okay.

Vinnie would take a minute to hug back, his mind running too slow for it's own good. But once he had his arms around Evan he's squeezing him in his arms like a snake constricting it's prey.

They'd stand there for way too long, but once they pulled apart Evan would point to Vinnies septum piercing, and Vinnie would get embarrassed, because he knows he seems like the last person to get one, if you didn't know him right.

But Evan would just smile at him and tell him it looks good, that he looks good.

Evan would end up taking a hot shower, and probably end up having to wear some of Vinnie's clothes, and Vinnie would make them both dinner with whatever he had left.

Neither of them would bring up anything of the things they've gone through. It's not that they aren't AWARE. it's just that they both know this is going to be the only time they get to pretend that they have normal lives again.

Then after awhile, Vinnie would catch Evan up on everything, and then Vinnie would offer up the bed and Evan would shake his head and say he'd rather not be alone anymore, and Vinnie couldn't agree more. they would lay in bed holding each other, nothing any more than that happening, and Evan would have his head against Vinnie's chest, counting every beat until he falls asleep, meanwhile Vinnie has his hand in Evans hair, thinking about all his secrets that Evan doesn't know.

He could never tell Evan about the things he's done, he doesn't want Evan to stop loving him, he can't risk that. Evan is all he's ever needed.

-------------------

Evan is cis(??? honestly his gender is. not binary but it's not exactly. non binary. HES SO WEIRD.) and bisexual.

Vinnie is FTM and gay/maybe also bi... (I get sad about him and Lexi sometimes) (also YES I'm projecting. I'm ALLOWED)

I think that Evan is alot more open and proud of himself than Vinnie is, he's not like obnoxious over his sexuality of course, but he isn't afraid of it.

Vinnie however gets really in his head over it, Probably having alot to do with his religious trauma (every iteration of Vinnie has it), He'll probably wonder if he's "man" enough, but Evan is always very quick to remind him just how "man" he thinks he Vinnie is.

I think that Evan would give Vinnie his T-shots and he would tell Vinnie to stop being a baby about it and Vinnie would just be gripping onto Evans arm until his knuckles turn white. Evan doesn't mind at all, if anything gives him the perfect opportunity to flex his arms so Vinnie can feel his muscles.

----------------

they YEARN for each other. they are a SLOW BURN GUYS!!!!!

It's only when they're left with just each other that they're forced to deal with their feelings for each other.

and I don't even think that they would talk about their feelings, they'd probably get really frustrated with each other, probably over Evan having yet another suicidal plan, and then Vinnie would just grab Evan and kiss him and the dam holding back their years of forgotten love would just immediately break. they wouldn't even have to say I love you, because this was already enough.

---------------

Evan is Vinnie's muse, he's always filming him and making sure he's the center of attention. Even through Vinnie's eyes Evan is this great hero, even when it's not Evan anymore, and it's HABIT. Vinnie still adores that vessel. Vinnie can play pretend.

Vinnie is Evans all. his everything. his only. his life. especially after he loses everything else. He NEEDS Vinnie, Vinnie has always been there, Vinnie has never lied, Vinnie never lead him astray (even tho that's all Vinnie did), Vinnie always took care of Evan, and Evan wants to do the same.

----------------

IM!!! NOT NORMAL!! OVER THEMMMM.

#everymanhybrid #slenderverse #emh #vinny everyman #vinnie everyman #evan myers #vinvan #hcs #my hcs #🐍 ⦻#ethan rants 🐍#Spotify

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procrastinatorproject · 1 year

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Fuck it, I'm gonna start posting my own shouty thoughts on season 3 of Picard rather than just commenting on other people's stuff.

I'll keep taggin everything "#picard spoilers" (assume I'm talking about everything up to the most recent ep, I'll warn seperately for leaked/promo stuff about ep 10) and "#picard saltiness" so you know what to blacklist (or look for, I'm not telling you how to internet 😋).

I'm sorry/get ready.

Here's the thing. I would like to watch season 3 of Picard and think "Oh well, this wasn't made for me, the same way season 1 wasn't made for the type of TNG fan who is in heaven right now. And I'm sad my favourite characters and main reasons I liked the show in the first place got written off, but I'm glad these other fans are having the time of their lives. Good on them, I'll just mentally file this away as a season/new show that I don't connect with as much as I'd hoped." I really, really want to be able to think that and approach season 3 this way.

But the writers won't let me.

At every turn, and I mean every turn, the writers have gone out of their way to not just pretend the previous two seasons didn't happen, but to remind us they happened and they were stupid and you're stupid to ever have enjoyed them.

It's not just that Picard, in the middle of his disillusioned identity crisis, when he has been holed up on his vinyard for over a decade, talking to nobody, and feeling deeply disappointed by Starfleet, gives an impassioned speech to a bunch of young people about how Starfleet is the only family you'll ever need.

That's a type of discontinuity/soft retcon I don't particularly enjoy, but if it were just that, I wouldn't be writing this way too long screed.

It's not even just the implicit "we will do it right this time" on display e.g. when Picard "flies" the Titan out of the labouring nebula. In that scene, Picard walks up to the captain's chair to take the conn, the TNG theme swells, he sits down, the music becomes bombastic, and he gets to be the Heroic Captain We All Remember. That scene is, in my opinion, something of a parallel to the season 1 scene where Picard tries to hijack La Sirena to take Soji to her people. In the season 1 scene, he sits in the captain's chair, the TNG-inspired music swells, he is about to be the Heroic Captain We All Remember -- except then the music fizzles out and the moment deflates because Picard has been retired for a decade and a half and has no idea what he's doing (and is certainly not the most qualified to do it on an unfamiliar ship).

That parallel in season 3 rubbed me the wrong way, because it felt too close to a refutation of season 1. Too close to "See? This is how that scene should have played out!" But that is a me problem. If the writers were remotely aware of the parallel (and I honestly doubt it, because I'm not sure they know season 1 well enough), it's just as likely they wrote it as a tongue-in-cheek reference, more than a rebuttal. Assuming the worst would have been on me and my unwillingness to give this season a fair shake. And if that sort of scene were the worst of it, I wouldn't be happy about it, but I wouldn't make it everybody else's problem.

Except the writers didn't stop there.

I would (eventually) be okay with it if the writers had just quietly abandoned, ignored, or even outright retconned some characters, history, themes, and plots from season 1 and 2 they disliked. But instead, they repeatedly acknowledge the existence of these elements only to then dismiss them in frankly viscious ways.

It's not enough to ignore the Jurati-Borg in all their Eggness glory and how they would be incredibly relevant to this story season 3 is trying to tell. It's not enough to pretend that storyline never happened and move on. Instead, the writers acknowledge the existence of the new collective, but the only sentence where it's mentioned is a character talking about "That weird shit on the Stargazer."

Yes, Shaw is a dick, yes it fits his character, yes Watsonian reasons. But it was still an active choice by the writers to only bring up one of the major plot developments of season 2 in the most derisive way possible.

Another example: The writers apparently felt that the Troi-Rikers didn't belong on Nepenthe. But it's not enough to have them move somewhere else between seasons, or even to let them have a discussion about how Nepenthe is steeped in loss and grief and they want to move somewhere else and start over.

Instead, the writers have to take time out of their already shoddily paced season to have these two characters extensively shit-talk one of the brightest momenst of season 1 (figuratively and literally). It's not just "they don't like it on Nepenthe anymore", it's "they never liked it, everything about it is terrible, everything season 1 showed you about their life there is a lie, and it has always been shitty and cringey and stupid, and you were stupid to like it!"

It's not just "we dumped our diverse characters, challenging themes, and relatively fresh view on the Trek universe from outside Starfleet for starship porn, great (white) men, and more Starfleet nostalgia than you can even comprehend". It's not just "we're going to ignore the existence of season 1 (and to a degree season 2), because it's not doing the things we want to do." It's not just "we're making this show, knowing (and not caring) that it will alienate a large chunk of the people who enjoyed season 1".

It's "we see what previous seasons were trying to do, and we need you to understand, really understand, how much contempt we have for these seasons and the people who enjoyed them."

I know some people felt this way about season 1 and the way it deconstructed Picard's image as the Great Heroic Captain and laid open his flaws and the flaws of the Federation. And I now empathize with them more than I ever thought I would. But I think there is a big qualitative difference in there.

In season 1, Picard gets put in his place. He has women people telling him when he's wrong, where he has failed, where he should have stepped up and needed to do better. But the show is still deeply sympathetic towards him. By the end of the season, Elnor has forgiven him, Raffi has forgiven him (without ever getting an apology), and he gets to save the day [whether the end to this particular arc is well done (it's not) is a rant for another day].

The failures Picard is being reproached for in season 1 pretty much exclusively happen between TNG and PIC. They tie in to patterns and tendencies the character has always had and attempt to deconstruct some of them. But there's no direct evisceration of specific things that happened on TNG.

At no point does Picard get out his Ressikan flute to make a glib comment about what a useless trinket it is, and how he should have thrown it out years ago. At no point does he turn to Riker and say: "Man, do you remember that Darmok and Jalad shit? What a waste of time! I wish we'd blown up that ship when we encountered it."

Season 1 is critical of Picard's character, yes, and it might feel crass or unfair at times (not least because we're still not used to seeing Great (White) Heroic Men Of Our Childhood get deconstructed that way). But any reproach the season 1 writers levelled at Picard pales in comparison to the petty contempt the season 3 writers regularly display towards the show they've ostensibly taken stewardship of.

Season 1 might have been a bit glib or inconsiderate of the legacy they inherited. Season 3 is viscious. And I am so, so tired of it.

#star trek picard #star trek picard season 3 #picard spoilers #picard saltiness #and to head this off at the pass: 'the writers aren't trying to be mean they're just making jokes'#doesn't really make the situation better.#if you don't understand the material you inherited and your own writing well enough to realize your being a petty dick #that doesn't say anything good about you as a writer or the people who let you be in charge #last week i was incandescent with rage #this week i am just so so SO very tired #just make it stop #please #can it please be over?#i have deep respect for all the people who decided not to watch this season #you are stronger than me and you have made the right choice

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sillysadduck · 2 years

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hi love *does a lil twirl* hope you’re having a gay day. please share your duck thoughts and psychoanalyse it. if you want. if not you can just send me a lil kiss

૮ • ﻌ - ა

OMGNSBFH THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU

congrats now yall have to read my duck thoughts bc my love gave me the chance [I'm on mobile so excuse any weirdness btw] as always this is a personal opinion etc etc and I like to connect the webseries with the TV series as a sequel ♡ + some fluffybird undertones bc im gay and they are too

OKAY SO!¡ HE'S A VERY COMPLEX CHARACTER, PEOPLE UNDERESTIMATE HIM AND LEAVE HIM TO BE "just a pet" OR "just a replaceable doll" BUT HES SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

I believe, just like Red and Yellow, he has free will about his thoughts, but not fully about his actions sometimes. He loves the other two (in different ways) but he can't show it, he doesn't know how to and he's too scared to do it. This eternal torment took his ability to show his emotions, and the same thing happened to Red. It didn't apply to Yellow, because his innocence protected his emotional intelligence.

The days go by and he's still trapped, but he's too scared to say anything about it. That's why he tries to stick to the world they know, he doesn't want to risk anything worse happening.

It's not that he's completely clueless, but he thinks (He knows from experience) saying something about the situation will make things worse. An example is episode 5 of the webseries, I believe he realized Red was missing but he didn't say anything because he could see Roy watching them behind the scenes, he tried to answer Red's calls and was trying to be subtle about alerting Yellow, this went on until he finally gave up and tried to leave...

And you know how that went for him, and for Yellow too. I wouldn't want to try again either.

I think that's when we see his first real "death", not an illusion like the Time episode where they see themselves dying on what appears to be just an illusion. That's why he was so scared when the giant cans took his organs, he looked terrified, they had to make him sleep at first and trap him so he would let it happen. He didn't know he would come back.

Yet, when his heart straight up falls out in the new series he's just like oh!! Haha oh well guess I'm dead see ya.

Because he knows he's gonna come back. He's aware "the journey always ends up back at home" and he can't die forever no matter what. He's super chill about getting his insides removed.

But the longer he's trapped, everything gets worse. He gets worse, his relationship with the other two gets worse, and he becomes more and more scared to leave or change anything [Ex: Yellow getting new batteries upsets him deeply because he has no way of knowing if that will make things worse or better]

He and Red used to reassure Yellow about how much they loved him and didn't want him to be sad, they tried to cheer him up when they got a chance and apologized when they made him feel bad.

Now, in the june 20th loop, his only response is yelling and hitting the other two. Because at the end of the day everything is pointless and they're all going crazy. He doesn't want to try anymore, we see he never makes the first move. Again, he's too scared to do that and he knows it's pointless. He lost all hope.

Even in the simplest things. When the computer gives too many results his first response is "Well let's give up." And that's his philosophy for everything.

But if someone else takes the first step, he will follow. He doesn't want change unless he feels like it's good change. Even then, he's hesitant about it.

But he will always have opportunities to show his real self through the denial and funny aggressive personality he made up to hide himself behind. He loves Red, he loves looking at him. And even when they were having privacy and a soft moment for themselves, he was asking "but what about Yellow?"

I know "they just hate each other and never want to see each other again" is a very common interpretation in the fandom now, but I feel like they still care.

Duck still cares, but he's scared. If he shows he cares, this world will gladly take Red and Yellow away from him. Staying in denial will always be easier. He's ok with dying a thousand times, at the end of the day he knows he will come back.

#don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis #duck dhmis #dhmis duck #red guy #yellow guy #fluffybird #fluffybird dhmis #dhmis headcanons #dhmis theory #yellow guy dhmis #red guy dhmis #long post #asks

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chainofclovers · 9 months

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(apparently i will never stop having) ted lasso s3 thoughts

It was such an interesting and weird experience to mostly really like TL s3 because it kind of felt like agreeing to go on a vacation with a large group of people and at the end I was like "well there were some ups and downs but that was a good time and I'm going to put together a scrapbook of this special vacation that broke my heart in ways I kind of appreciated" and then many fellow travelers were like "I can't believe I was stupid enough to get tricked to go on this shitty vacation and that we're all having such a bad time." And also it was like that at every checkpoint throughout the travels. I obviously wasn't alone in loving plenty of things about the season; I feel lucky that there are people who feel similarly enough to me that it wasn't totally lonely, and also of course it doesn't truly matter that everyone has different opinions about the same thing. I don't need a bunch of identical opinions to feel like I've earned the right to my own. It's more that there were multiple points where I was genuinely questioning whether my brain was just working totally differently in a way I should actually explore more because of how I felt about the intentions/intentionality and execution behind certain things on the show. Things that if I'd been watching sans fandom experience but with a similar level of obsession, I think I'd have been pretty unphased by and peaceful with. And it made me genuinely sad to feel like so many people I care about were having such a bad time with something that I, for whatever reason, was just having a mostly good time with in ways that I wish I could have transferred over.

Also, I'm clearly still trying to figure out how I feel because I did have an extremely emotional reaction to the show ending, more akin to something deeply earth-shattering happening in my own actual 3d life. There was a 72-ish hour period in which I cried more than I had in probably a year or two combined before that. I cried in the bathroom at a baseball game because baseball >>> sports >>> Ted. I cried about things I wanted to see on my screen that I did not get to see. I cried about the absolute unfairness of a human being only being able to exist in one physical space at a time. I cried about having a community that was centered around a shared interest and the sheer stress that goes into that. All through the summer and even now, although I am no longer crying about Ted per se, I feel like my ability to cry is way more close to the surface than it used to be.

So it's not that I had some kind of super simple reaction to the show that just made me willing to bop along to everything, even if some of my crying was just about mourning the end of something and appreciating it. There are definitely things I'd change if I'd been involved, including:

Zava's presence would have been a far more short-lived dalliance with the team that would allow them to do the same exact stuff in terms of Zava's recruitment allowing the show to more explicitly discuss Rupert's manipulation of both Rebecca and Nate (I loved that Zava initially felt like a device that would allow Rebecca to make those observations with full awareness that this is what was happening to Nate, and I thought her backstory coupled with Nate's scenes with Rupert were super well done)...but it would not have dragged into so many other episodes (and this would have freed up time for one of the main things I felt was missing, which was a more explicit discussion of the legacy of coaching, which Ted and Roy [and also Beard and Trent via the book and eventually Nate] all needed more room to discuss)

Shandy's role in KJPR would have been more explicitly about mentorship and its limitations and would have afforded Keeley more onscreen contemplation time

Instead of backtracking into raging out with jealousy over Keeley in the final episode, Jamie and Roy would have had their fight sooner in the season and would've spent the finale navigating the ambiguities of simply not knowing what was going to happen with all their relationships (which is what we basically get in the montage, and I believe those characters would get there, but even as a non-linear progress enthusiast I found their final scenes together annoying after having really loved most of their scenes together throughout the entire series...I have no trouble believing that Roy and Keeley would likely reunite in the future, or that they might really pull off the throuple, and I didn't personally need to see that happen on my screen, but I did want a more concretely sunk in growth moment for Roy)

One (1) fewer ambiguous facial expression from Michelle Keller, please, mostly because of how much I've hated talking about it

Ted and Roy would have gotten a goodbye(-for-now) that alluded to their overlapping traumas and things they had observed about each other and appreciated in each other

BUT. In general, I felt like the characters were never unrecognizable (including Ted in 3x12, who was not emotionless and dead inside and cruel and would not need to grovel if/when he returns to the UK and I will totally die on that hill), and the various missed opportunities and unfinished business and open-ended trailings off into the future did nothing to ruin the perfect beauty of s1 (which will always be soooo special and great) or the (often more clunky than s3 in my opinion) complications of s2 (which I did love in its way).

I think I'm just basically at my core someone whose favorite show is this one? So I'd rather, when my brain presents the options, take the more generous interpretation of certain things in a way that allows me to engage more fully than I would otherwise, if disappointment was ruling my viewing experience. And I think a kitchen metaphor is the only way I can make sense of this whole experience and why I'm kinda here for it and find post-canon a compelling place to explore.

I think of a cook performing mise en place to get a dish ready to cook. Or a baker getting all their ingredients out on the counter so they can more easily assemble the cookies or whatever. But if you're making more than one thing, which I think Ted Lasso the show was doing (and your mileage may vary on how well that went), you've got your assembled thing in the oven and then you're also doing prep for the next thing and you're loading the dishes in the sink from the old thing and it's kind of a constant state of prep and action and clean-up. And agree with it or not, s3 ends when pretty much every character has a messy kitchen. I absolutely include Ted in this. The montage at the end feels like Ted's attempt to neaten up the kitchens of every person he knows so that he can survive making his choice to take a long physical break from actually being in those kitchens. (Linked post describes how I feel about that scene, which I do think was reality rather than a dream, but highly filtered through one person's consciousness.)

(((Whispers: and the thing that mystifies me the most about fan reactions--other than the literal threats of violence against creators--is the whole "I guess Ted and Rebecca didn't have any meaningful connection after all and the parallels were just accidents or cruel jokes" thing...which is not something I have really read or seen online much recently at all if you're wondering. Because their parallel journeys matter so much! And the main way I can make sense of it all is by feeling like they did have all the ingredients out for the meal that would allow them to have gotten together during the 3 season arc, and because of Ted's very necessary choice they could not do that, and that doesn't mean the ingredients and their particular arrangement are meaningless even if hurts. That is genuinely what I see. And I completely understand why the missed opportunities or lack of acknowledgment of certain parallels is frustrating, but what i don't understand is the belief that the things we actually did get shouldn't have even been there if they weren't gonna kiss. I feel similarly about where Ted and Beard end up, actually, but that may be a post for another time [or the inside of my brain only] because I'm already very self-conscious about how long this is. The "Jason I am in your walls what was the reason for any of this" stuff just makes me feel so. Incredibly. Tired. The reasons were in the show!)))

Ted Lasso's finale attempted to put one last dish in the oven and bake it and bring it out, but just behind the outstretched arms with the neatly presented dish is a kitchen (a whole ensemble's worth of kitchens) in absolute disarray, no matter how much good stuff the characters have learned about mise en place and being a loving person and all that. Because the dishes literally never stop when you're a person, and neither does the hunger. I am not necessarily interested in analyzing how other shows whose endings I've loved or hated handle their character's figurative kitchens, but I do think that the way this show handled it is a big reason why the finale (and whole final season) was so divisive. I would love to remain as happily obsessed with it as I am while figuring out how to feel less intense feelings about how much some of the communal elements of it stress me out! I am an adult! I get how opinions work! I just have lots of feelings, I guess. :/

#ted lasso #meta by me #ted lasso meta #ted lasso 3x12 #hot dork club #sorry about all this?#i mean not really sorry but yeah #ted x rebecca #about me

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annemissingshoe · 2 months

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WTTMV Keeper!Poppy, Stitcher!Julie, Theories/just talking(also a non WTTMV character, Solver!Frank)part two

This got cut in half because Tumblr was being weird, ok now let’s continue on with part two and I’m aware that I forgot about this

I do find this one interesting even if I’m not sure quite sure what happened.

Unfortunately Solver’s world got destroyed by Stitcher some time after he left it, he doesn’t know that tho. Keeper on the other hand does. The Connecting backstories.

Also It’s been pretty interesting learning about Solver!Frank, all the bits of lore I got to see. It is kinda sad to see the ask blog go but life goes on, at least I got to see it happen in the first place, everyone wish Rose the best regards I think I said that right.

This had my interest and it still does to this day

fun fact: this when I started looking through posts for lore, well it me a bit to actually do it, like I waited a bit before I went the blog for lore. I still find it weird that no one was making theories posts on Keeper’s lore, despite the fact she had a connection to Stitcher; who is one of our main villains, which should have been a reason a good reason for others to make theories yet no one did?, it’s so weird.

I finally know what happened here and I’ll talk about it at some point. All I’m going to say the lore is on the website that Ariki posted and was talking about not to long. It has some lore about the other characters too, like Archivist and a certain Wally variant who Stitcher hates for example. I wish good luck who plans on finding it next.

Special thanks to @/chocolategothwolfhorse for finding it. I don’t know where you found it but good job.

So we now know that Stitcher became active way later on in the story compared to the other casts and that she sometimes gets fabrics from Trader.

Another example of interactions between characters that are like, I think it’s interesting and cool to it. To me It adds a lot to the story and world, seeing two characters from opposing sides; who might hate/dislike each other, choosing not fight because the store they’re in doesn’t allow it. I like seeing things like this, this is why I thought Coupier and Stitcher at the wedding from last year was interesting. It revealed something I wasn’t expecting and wasn’t thinking about at the time.

A earlier Instance of elaborating on stitcher’s friends who are kept in her Collection, about who ends up in her Collection and why, they’re still alive and ‘conscious’ to an extent.

We finally got more information on what Stitcher’s rules for killing are

So Stitcher doesn’t kill any of the puppets in her collection herself, so all the puppets in her collection were killed by someone else. Any puppets she killed aren’t apart of it. Some other things we learn there’s some characters she won’t kill or she try to befriend first. Stitcher doesn’t kill any variants of her siblings, From her exact words we Coupier would be the one to do that.

“I've met plenty of versions of them since then. I don't really like having to kill some during missions, so Crou is generally the one to do it, while I take care of the ones he doesn't want to kill. We're a great team !" Since she didn’t kill this version of her siblings, who did what happened to them before “she fixed them”?

@arikihalloween

Part one - Part three

some food for thought

#welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home puppet show #julie joyful #welcome home julie joyful #welcome home show #welcome to the multiverse #wttmv fan theories #fan theory #wttmv #julie welcome home #julie joyful welcome home #peacekeeper poppy #welcome home poppy #poppy partridge #frank frankly #welcome home frank #solver!frank #stitcher julie #welcome home project #welcome home puppet arg #anne's things #I been doing other things #I got way more involved in the wh multiverse #Me and some friends are just doing our own little thing in our part of the multiverse #Fun fact: there was a wedding that happened last month. It was quite fun and-#I enjoyed everything that was leading up to it. Planning part was also fun too. I liked being a part of it #There’s also multiverse police now and the demolition crew. That was made by two of my friends #There quite a lot things that were made in the last couple of months. That that haven’t been mentioned yet.#I can’t wait to see where we go next and we will make

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cringecompanionapologist · 6 months

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Because I'm Bored: Doctors 1-13 Ordered from "Most Human" to "Most Alien"

So, some incarnations of the Doctor seem more "human" than others. Factoring vibes, aesthetic, social skills, emotional connection to companions, and then just shrugging and picking an order that makes sense, here goes:

Short Version, from most human to most alien: 1, 3, 5, 10, 9, 12, 6, 8, 2, 13, 7, 11, 4

(Very) Long Version:

Here There Be Spoilers for multiple Doctor Who Stories, the most recent of them being from Series 12 (and I'm not sure if the bit I'm talking about counts as a spoiler since it's just a thing that happens in the episode). Also this really got away from me and there are quite a few tangents in there. And because it's so long and it's very late I didn't really edit it, so I hope it's at least mostly coherent.

Most "Human"

Okay, this could be defined in a lot of ways, but based on my own definitions:

One:

The Doctor wasn't originally intended to be an alien, just an eccentric human from the future. So One isn't very "wacky". His cloths are a sort of vaguely Victorian/Edwardian normal. Because of Hartnell's age and health, he usually isn't very high energy. He's curious and mysterious, but if you didn't know from future reveals, you might not think he's a literal space alien.

Three:

This one was almost a tie. Three was the first incarnation to be established as an alien from his first story, and because he was written as an alien, he's more alien than an incarnation mainly written as a human. But, he usually comes across more like an eccentric professor with little regard for rules and regulations.

The UNIT Era setting might be a part of this. You take time travel from a Time Lord and what you've got left his a lord. He's an aristocrat who's fallen on hard times and had to get a job and is grumpy about it.

Five:

Five is one of the more cautious Doctors. He's aware of how his curiosity can get the better of him and sometimes tries to reign it in. He can also pass as human very easily. In Black Orchid, he fits perfectly into the setting, a costume party/cricket match in the 1920s. He is very traditionally British, and the British are almost definitely humans.

Five has more alien companions than most incarnations, which means that the ways in which he's alien don't stand out as much. He's been traveling the universe for centuries and he loves Earth, so he's picked up on a lot of human stuff. Adric and Nyssa are much younger and much more sheltered, so they're the alien fish out of water. Turlough has a bit more experience with humanity, but he hated it and is quite proud of being an alien to these people, actually. So, the Doctor blends into Earth surroundings while his companions either have no idea what's going on or are actively protesting it.

But, Fivey's still a space alien. He's still eccentric, and somewhat socially awkward. He misses social cues and tends to deal with emotions by avoiding them. Adric just died? Sadness is happening? Well, he doesn't know how to process and express that emotion while also comforting two people who are also feeling that emotion. So, he basically tells them to stop grieving and get back to the plot. He still feels emotions, of course, but he tries to ditch them whenever possible.

Ten:

He's often thought of as the most human Doctor. He's got quite an emotional range and can connect with humans very well. But, a thing with Ten isn't that he's the most human, but more that he most wants to be human. The Time Lords are dead because he killed them and humans are his adoptive species. But he can never truly be one of them. That's one of the many tragedies of the Tenth Doctor.

Ten is more overtly quirky than the Doctors listed before him. He talks a mile a minute, he's easily distracted, and he can say some very silly things. He's the guy who gave as "wibbly wobbly timey wimey". He's the first Doctor on this little list to regularly seem too weird to pass for human, though he still can when he's really committed to it.

Nine:

I honestly wasn't sure where to put him. He has a less quirky appearance than most Doctors, with his leather jacket not being out of place in a modern setting.

But, he's still very quirky with an added element of being unstable and more emotionally distant than Ten. He's a bit more cynical about the universe, having just come out of a war.

Honestly, 9 and 10 sort of tie. They're both human and alien to around the same degree in different ways.

Twelve:

Twelve changes a lot throughout his run, so it was hard putting him in one spot. He has the darker edges of Nine, but those soften over time and he becomes your silly professor who was in a band in the 70s.

So, in Series 8, he's a grumpy space grandpa. The first to point out that he's an alien. By Series 10, he's hung out on Earth for a while and lightened about. Strangely, he feels more human when he's being silly than when he's being serious.

There's also the added element of Moffatisms, which aren't exclusive to Moffat, but they are elements of the show that became more prominent around 2010. The Moffat Era had the Doctor as more genuinely socially awkward than before and more likely to view that as a problem. It feels like the bit where the Doctor's an alien but he's spent centuries around humans so he knows the basics at least was sorta lost.

Even though I called this a Moffatism, this trend only became more noticeable after Moffat left. We'll get there when we get there.

Six:

The only reason Six isn't higher on the alien scale is his darker, more violent edge. It doesn't feel very alien. But, Six is probably the most alien-looking Doctor.

Six is great at pissing people off, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. But, even in the TV episodes that usually had weak scripts, you could still see how much he cared.

When I think of the Doctor being socially awkward, I often think of The Mysterious Planet, of all stories. Basically, Peri has a bit of an existential crisis over realizing that she's on a far future Earth and that Earth won't last forever. Six has a little speech about how everything ends at some point. It's not very comforting, but you can tell from his tone that he intended it to be. As a centuries-old time traveller, the fact that everything ends isn't quite that big a deal. You can just go back in time to before the world ended. But Peri, though she's been traveling with the Doctor for a while, is still a regular human from 1984, of a single time and place where time travel doesn't exist. So when something ends, that's it. The Doctor understands that Peri is upset and he wants to comfort her, but he doesn't understand her feelings enough to succeed at it. It's a great little moment from one of the more "meh" stories of the era.

So, there's the Doctor being an alien depicted in a slightly more subtle way, underneath the loud technicolor dream coat.

Eight:

A while ago, I made a post that sorted the Doctors into three loose categories. One of them was called something like Wacky, Zany, Silly, Fun-Time War Criminal. All the Doctors I'll talk about as the most alien are in that category. Eight is the most alien incarnation to not be in that category. Eight is a romantic, heroic type, who also happens to basically be a puppy with the zoomies for whatever parts of the TV Movie he doesn't have amnesia in.

I haven't seen a lot of Eight, so I don't have much else to say. He gets more seriously later on, because of the Time War and several companions dying. There's also a difference between the Eight Doctor Adventure novels and the Big Finish audios. Big Finish is where a lot of the "Eight gets more serious" arc happens. Both series have the overall plot of "the puppy is kicked repeatedly by absolutely everything". The EDA Doctor is traumatized by it and that's another thing that triggers an amnesia arc, but he remains upbeat when he isn't suffering The Horrors. BF Eight grows more cynical over time.

Two:

The Most Human of the Most Alien. He's very silly and very energetic. He plays the recorder and behaves in a way that often feels half-child/half-grandma. He's the template that all the other Wack, Zany, Fun-Time alien Doctors are built from.

So why's he the most human of that category?

Two actually has a unique skill. Though many incarnations of the Doctor can be manipulative, or use their understanding of people to accomplish their goals, Two is the most socially intelligent Doctor. He acts silly because he likes being silly, for the most part. People underestimate him, which can be useful. But, his more serious moments show a side to him that, though he doesn't act like a normal human, he understands humans, as individuals and as a species, very well.

Compare that scene from The Mysterious Planet I mentioned earlier to The Tomb of the Cybermen. Victoria is a knew companion who only became a companion because she'd otherwise have been stranded on Skaro. She's also just become an orphan. The Daleks killed her father. So, though she's trying her best, she's obviously not doing very well. The story stops for a moment and the Doctor talks to Victoria and what he says actually comforts her. While Six couldn't understand Peri's existential crisis, Two can understand grief, losing family, and being forced to leave home. So, he's able to emotionally connect with Victoria in a way Six couldn't with Peri, even though he wanted to.

Two's emotional intelligence gives him a strong human side, or at least a side that can relate to humanity.

Thirteen:

She's quirky. Very, very quirky. She has no attention span and often just does things. Chibnall takes the Moffat Era social awkwardness even further. Thirteen is self-aware and obviously insecure about not relating to her companions socially. She's also one of the more secretive incarnations, so she sometimes just refuses to connect with her companions, but even when she wants to connect with them, it often feels like there's a barrier between them.

Some of this is, at least as I perceive it, the result of consistent writing problems. Basically every writer of this era had difficulty distributing lines between the three companions and making sure everyone had something to do. Unless the plot had stopped for the characters to talk about their feelings, the companions tended to all fall into the stock "what's happening, Doctor?" role. I get the feeling that people who like these characters, and there are people who love these characters, love them for the fleeting moments when they get to be characters, when there's nothing else going on. Yaz stands out when she's talking to the Doctor on the beach, trying to sort out romantic feelings, but not when she's one of three companions in the middle of some Alien Bullshit.

But, you often don't get the "what's happening, Doctor?" Many scenes of exposition involve the Thirteenth Doctor thinking aloud, asking herself questions and answering her own questions, while three other people just stand there and wait to be addressed. Of course the Doctor is going to seem distant from her companions when she's talking to herself most of the time they're around.

Thirteen's social awkwardness actually led to a somewhat infamous moment in Can You Here Me, where Graham talks about having cancer and his fear that it might come back someday...and the Doctor straight up admits to being too socially awkward to know what to say in this situation and there's a complete tonal whiplash from Graham's serious talk about cancer to a "Doctor is socially awkward" joke, as if the seen was getting to heavy and the writer was desperate to change the subject.

A lot of people complained about this and the defense basically amounted to "It's not that the Doctor doesn't care about Graham. She just doesn't always know what to say.". My problem with it isn't that she didn't know what to say, but that she didn't try. Again with The Mysterious Planet. Six was also socially awkward and didn't know what to say to comfort his companion, but he tried. It didn't work, but he tried. And there wasn't a tonal whiplash, since Six not understanding why Peri's upset wasn't being playing as a joke. Thirteen can be socially awkward. She can admit to being socially awkward. But, what you had in that scene with Graham was a poorly timed joke that, because the show tried to lighten the mood, made it feel like Thirteen wasn't taking things seriously. That clearly wasn't the intent, but that's what felt so wrong to so many people.

So, she's about as far from Two as you can get in terms of social skills.

But, the fact that she is so self-aware, insecure in a way that previous incarnations weren't, feels like a very human trait. So despite everything I've had to say, she's still just shy of the top three.

Eleven

Quirky Moffatisms at full force. He is silly, acts like a child, comes with several wacky catchphrases, and sales of bowties in the real world increased about he said they were cool. That was supposed to be weird but the world changed for him.

Eleven is better at connecting to his companions than Thirteen, so I wasn't quite sure which to put first, but Eleven has more in common with the two I haven't gotten to yet. Thirteen didn't really have the confidence to pull of the "angry god" thing that some incarnations, especially in the the new series, sometimes do. She had her lapses in sanity and could be downright cruel during those lapses but it felt more like "the Doctor is having a bad day" than "Do Not Piss Off This Eldritch Horror". When Eleven snapped, it felt like the Wrath of God. No human could really do that.

There's a reason I call this one category of Doctor the Wacky, Zany, Fun-Time War Criminal. They're the silliest Doctors, but also the ones that are the scariest when angry.

Eleven is heavily inspired by Two, but I also tend to see him as combining traits of Seven and Ten. He's high energy and high intensity like Ten.

As for Seven, who was also based on Two, well, there are Eleventh Doctor moments that are basically their own versions of Second and Seventh Doctor moments. Victory of the Daleks has the "Daleks pretend to serve humanity to win their trust so they can take over" lifted from The Power of the Daleks, but while Two was scared of the Daleks, Eleven was enraged. In Two's case, it was because this was his first story. One rarely expressed fear quite this openly, which made it clear that 1. Two is different from One and 2. Daleks are serious business. For Eleven, it was something of a rehash of Nine torturing a Dalek in Dalek. Victory of the Daleks is made up of little moments stolen from better stories.

However, a deliberately similar moment isn't necessarily stolen. Sometimes, it creates another opportunity to compare and contrast. So, let's talk about Seven.

Seven

He's got all the clownish behavior of Two and Eleven, but he comes across as more alien from his tendency to act like a supervillain from time to time. It's all part of the plan and sometimes he screws his friends over along the way. Of course he still cares. Ace is still his Space Daughter. But, sometimes sacrifices have to be made to save the universe...

So, we did a Two vs. Six. vs. Thirteen on the subject of Comforting Companions. Now it's Two vs. Seven. Eleven in Betraying Companions.

Okay, not really. But the companions are made to feel betrayed, whatever the intentions behind it were.

The obvious two to compare are The Curse of Fenric and The God Complex. This is one of the more obvious "new who just does a classic scene" moments. Both stories have a reoccurring theme of faith, which has an effect on the Monster of the Week. The Curse of Fenric has one of the many varieties of Doctor Who Vampire that are repelled by faith. It turns out that the sign of the cross only worked on vampires because it was used by devout Christians. Any sort of faith works. A Soviet soldier repels vampires with a hammer and sickle badge because of his faith in Communism. The Doctor starts listing the names of past companions to repel them because he has faith in his friends.

Jumping over to The God Complex, we have a sort of Minotaur thing that eats faith. There's this weird prison hotel thing where people are shown their worst fears. Everyone has a room with a fear in it. Except for Rory. He's experienced all the Horrors and came back from the dead so many times that he doesn't care anymore. People who have some sort of faith tend to think of that faith when scared for their lives. So, the fear leads to faith, the Minotaur converts that faith into worship of the Minotaur and then it kills people.

The Doctor, Amy, and Rory end up in the prison hotel with a group of other random people. There's a gambler who believes in luck, a conspiracy theorist, a Tivolian, who are a culture of strategic cowardice, and his faith in his oppressors oppressing him, and a sane woman who is a devout Muslim. They all get picked off one by one.

Then we have the companions. Eleven has two with him, but Rory just kind of hangs back for this one. You have Ace and Amy. A names are apparently unlucky.

As companions who jumped at the chance to be companions, Ace and Amy have faith in the Doctor. In The Curse of Fenric, you'd think this would be a good thing, since it keeps the vampires away, but because of Reasons it becomes necessary to turn the faith off to save the universe. In Amy's case, her faith is putting her at risk of getting eaten by a minotaur.

So, the Doctor has to break his companion's faith in him.

But I also mentioned Two, so let's derail things even further to talk about The Evil of the Daleks. It's not as direct of a comparison, but I want to bring it up because the Doctor betrays a companion's trust and challenges his faith in him. In this case, it's Jamie. The Doctor tricks him into taking part in a Dalek experiment to discover the Human Factor, all the things that make humans special, so they can understand the people who keep beating them.

The Evil of the Daleks softens the blow. We see the build-up to the Dalek experiment from the Doctor's perspective. The Daleks demand that Jamie be used in the experiment. The Doctor asks why it has to be him and not some other human. The Daleks say that traveling in time makes Jamie unique. The Doctor asks why they can't just to the experiment on him, and since a later plot point in this serial is dependent on the Doctor NOT being human, I'm going to just say he was lying here. The Doctor's traveled in time too much, apparently.

So, the Doctor did everything he could to keep Jamie out of it, including lying to put his own life on the line. This was an absolute last resort and the Doctor tries to make the most of.

But, Jamie wasn't present for any of this, so all he knows is that the Doctor put his life on the line working with the bad guys.

So, it's not quite the same as the later Faith Breaking stories. The Evil of the Daleks feels more like a misunderstanding.

So we go back to Seven and Eleven. Seven breaks Ace's faith by claiming not to care about her, that he was just using her this whole time, and that he doesn't care if she dies. It's absolutely brutal. With Eleven, it's more about recklessness and incompetence. He failed to protect Amy. He let her down. He put her in danger knowingly, because he likes having companions and he cares more about having their company than about their safety. He keeps talking people into running off with him to see the universe, only for terrible things to happen because it wasn't safe. The Doctor knows it isn't safe, but he just can't stop endangering people's lives. It's more complicated, a deconstruction of the Doctor/Companion dynamic, but it seems like a last minute confession, like the Doctor is breaking down in the face of losing another companion. In the end, he did deliberately say what he needed to to break Amy's faith, but it doesn't seem quite so cold.

Eleven doesn't usually have master plans. He's just willing to get very dark in certain situations. Seven plans ahead, so you can't know just how long he was planning to emotionally destroy the teenager he sort of adopted. That also adds to the brutality. Ace's faith in the Doctor is more like a child's faith in a parent. Eleven was Amy's imaginary friend who turned out to be real, so it's a more abstract faith.

Okay, I've gone on an on and on about so many things. Let's wrap this up.

Four

Four is big and loud. His hair, his eyes, his teeth, his impressively long scarf...You can't not pay attention to him. He looks a bit silly, but he can also be a little intimidating. You have all the quirkiness of the Doctors we already mentioned, but with an added sense of authority. Everywhere he shows up, he just sort of takes over. Two and Seven will just blend into places at times, put Four doesn't need to. He walks in, offers people jelly babies, and starts asking about what's going on. People tell him. It's refuge in audacity. People are too confused to even ask questions and they just start following along.

If you take the idea of a renegade Time Lord: There's a powerful species of aliens and this one went rogue to travel the universe and help people, Four perfectly fits. He's authoritative, like you'd expect a powerful person to be, weird and distant from humans, as you'd expect an alien to be, and chaotic, like you'd expect someone acting in defiance of the ultimate Lawful Neutral Bordering on Evil.

Four is alien in a very specific way that might be the entire show, so yeah, he's the Most Alien Doctor.

This thing's really fucking long I'm sorry...

#all the doctors #first doctor #second doctor #third doctor #fourth doctor #fifth doctor #sixth doctor #seventh doctor #eighth doctor #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor #the essay to end all essays #i think there are like four completely different essays dropped into the middle of this #and yes i realize that i can't sound normal when talking about four #i have no idea why that is #i haven't even seen that much of him

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