#i've actually been wanting to do a render of me & the boys for a while

[raiiny-bay]

updated my simself specifically to make this

#i've actually been wanting to do a render of me & the boys for a while #but i hate that kelly is taller than me #like. the audacity of him yk #but also i just can't find an accurate hair for myself #i'm just gonna have to learn how to make stuff bc kel & i both need proper curly hair #n e way. i had the urge to try my hand at animation again so. that's probably what i'll be doing in my free time for a bit #kel's birthday & the boys' 10 year anniversary is in april so i gotta plan something fun for that at some point #i realize that's still a couple of months away but #i have no idea what i want to do for either of those yet & i would really like to plan ahead #i'm not much of a plan ahead kind of person #rainyrambles #dl maybe

[noearchives]

sober me up

(what happens when the one piece boys are drunk?)

characters: portgas d. ace, trafalgar d. water law, sanji.

note: personally i've never been drunk enough to the point where i lose my mind or anything like that ... so this is just based off of my imagination and stuff i see in movies ;;

cw/ tags: gender neutral reader, mentions of alcohol, unestablished relationship, mutual pining.

portgas d. ace

"woah,” ace whispers, head tilted to one side as he looks at you through half-lidded eyes, saying your name in the same way he did when he met you for the first time.“is that really you?”

you're not sure if he’s putting up an act to flirt, or if he’s actually so drunk to the point where he can’t tell his imagination from reality. not knowing how to reply, you hand him a glass of water in a fluster in hopes that he’ll sober up, and he downs the entire thing in one go, mistaking it for liquor.

“wow,” ace says again, awestruck. it’s like his eyes are put in a spell to look at nothing else but you. his reaches for your face, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. nonsense runs off his tongue as he stumbles deep into your gaze in spirals. “you're so pretty i could kiss you.”

he pauses. “can i?”

fuck it, you think. he’s drunk out of his mind, you're tipsy enough to use it as an excuse. it won't hurt if you kissed your best friend who you’ve been pining for since the dawn of time when he won't even remember anything the day after, right?

so you agree to his request, and ace wastes no time with how quickly he slides his tongue into your mouth just after two seconds of his lips meeting yours— it’s like he doesn't want you to breathe.

when he finally lets go of you, you gasp like a fish out of water while he looks at you stupidly. his mind is filled with you, you, you. one kiss isn't enough to satisfy him— he’s been dreaming of this for months, afterall. with both hands on either side of your face, he makes a bold statement once again.

“let’s do that again.”

trafalgar d. water law

law doesn't drink much, but he can't say no to his crew when they offer. initially, he planned to stay sober for the rest of the night to look after all of you, but as shachi and penguin continue to pour him drink after drink, his head grows heavier with every sip of liquor.

he stays quiet even when he’s drunk. no bold confessions, no impulsive acts, nothing. he just watches his crew drink themselves stupid, the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

with the loud hustle of the bar and the deafening laughter of your crewmates, it’s hard to notice how intoxicated law has become until you feel a foreign weight on your shoulder. a white fur hat lands on your lap, and you only realise your captain’s resting his head on you with his eyes closed then.

“captain?” you say. your heart’s beating out of your chest. “captain, you're drunk.”

“i know.” he mumbles in reply, looking silly with his cheek squished against your shoulder.

“let me get you some water.” you try to move out of your seat, but your body doesn't budge. law’s arm holds you down firmly, and you feel the skin under his touch tingle. “captain," you say again, weaker this time. you're not sure if your lungs are working properly with how he's rendered you breathless. "you've gotta let me go," you say, betraying your heart.

"no," law mumbles against you. his hold on you tightens, and you swear he's nuzzling into your neck.

at that point, you decide that he's had one too many and that he needs to be sobered up or else he'd be in a sour mood the morning after. you awkwardly prop his arm on your shoulders as you drag him back to the polar tang with the knowing gazes of your crewmates on your backs, your captain's hat in your hand as you strain to support his weight.

"ah, young love." penguin sighs.

sanji

being an absolute lightweight, sanji's already swaying with his tie off and a few buttons undone after two shots.

"oh, my love." he sing-songs. my love? you raise an eyebrow at the nickname. "the way you look at me makes my stomach flip. your eyes are brighter than the stars, and the way you say my name tugs at my heartstrings. would you make a poor man like me happy by just looking his way?" he rambles, freestyling a verbal love letter for you right then and there. you've heard him do the same for robin and nami, but never for you. (until now, of course.)

the crew's swordsman physically cringes in second-hand embarrassment. "curly, do all of us a favor and shut that mouth of yours."

miraculously, sanji doesn't retort like he usually does. instead, he takes your hand in his as he continues his weird love poem. "if only this wasn't a dream, and i had the courage to confess my love for you in the real world. alas!"

... and he starts crying. actual tears rolling down his cheeks and everything. "but i know you would never love a pathetic man like me!" he sobs into your lap, kneeling before you as your ship's navigator averts her gaze out of embarrassment, grumbling about how her efforts of keeping his secret are wasted.

though ridiculously stupid, his confession made your heart stop. after all this time, it turns out that he's equally as smitten as you are when you thought his heart belonged to someone else. (it's hard not to assume with the way he behaves around good-looking women.)

"why did nobody tell me...?" you ask, looking around as the strawhats look away with a supressed grin.

"because he said he'll kick our asses if any of us said anything. geez, both of you are so stupid. can't you see the way he makes those disgusting heart eyes at you every time you pass by?" the swordsman grumbles.

sanji's arms are still tightly wrapped around your waist after he's done with his improv love poem. "you're so warm, even in my dreams..." he mumbles. it seems like he still hasn't realized this isn't a dream.

the two of you are going to have a looooong talk when he sobers up, you're sure.

#one piece x reader #law x reader #portgas d ace #portgas d ace x reader #sanji x reader #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law #sanji #one piece fluff #one piece x reader fluff

[simpjaes]

hi i just stalked the crap our of your page and HOLY CRAPTHIS IS MY NEW GUILTY PLEASURE

can i req seeing how enha hyung line would take care of you after railing you soooooo hard????

hyung line + aftercare after very intense sex

warning: uh....painful sex, fainting, dissociation, anal, implied squirting, degradation, idk just a lot of intense sex stuff ig

note: it's a lil messy, i've been running errands all day and am using this to push myself back into the writing brain :D

★ heeseung:

what i wanna say is that depending on the circumstances, he'd probably throw a towel at your head and walk away to shower alone but we all know heeseung is so much more than a careless fuck boy for the most part. in my opinion, if he's got you where he wants you and he's allowed to fuck you as hard as he can, rendering you faint, dizzy, and almost dissociated, he either has some sort of feelings for you, you're someone else's girlfriend and he wants you to like him more, or you're already in a committed relationship lmfao

and you know, you thought that after he managed to pull three orgasms out of you, fucked all three of your holes, and managed to get you all twisted up for him to cum in places he definitely isn't supposed to, you really thought he was done.

but then he chuckles, taking one look at you once his own mind clears from his orgasm and it's like...how could he not just continue to fuck you? you look so pretty already fucked open, lying there with tears in your eyes and shaking?

you'd hear something akin to "you're gonna take a bit more, open those eyes back up for me," and "i can tell you can take it, just keep your eyes on me."

it's kind of pathetic, actually, how you really do just lay there and take it until he says you're finished.

so, yeah, when you're with someone like heeseung, there's always a thought in your head about if he'll even take care of you at all after the fact. at least, the thought is there before he breaks your brain. even if every time before this where he's needed to bring you back, he has without question and with a voice from him that is always so rare to hear.

just kinda hard to imagine someone who fucks you near to the brink of passing out, sometimes actually passing out, finding it within themselves to take care of you as deeply as they fuck you, yknow?

but, time and time again he has to remind you that he's not only capable but willing to make sure you're well taken care of. after all, you do your part in taking it, so he'll do his part in giving you what you need too. only after scooping half the mess with his fingers and feeding it to you, of course.

after that though? he's very much hauling you off for a warm shower and tenderly washing you. very very gentle with his hands, knowing how sensitive your holes are. he'd compliment you, he'd praise you for letting him absolutely destroy that ass, and ultimately, lay you to sleep next to him regardless of what the relationship status is, making sure you're well aware that he's not just using you for pleasure. he's very much appreciative of what you bring to his bedroom, and there's no reason to pretend he isn't.

☆ jay:

i like to think that jay would have you in fucking pain and barely able to stand on your own two feet by the time he allows you to close your legs with deep groans as you try to catch your breath.

honestly, the stamina this man has and actively spends on you could render anyone immobile for at least a week with the way he snaps his hips and holds you down from wiggling away in sensitivity. and man, the things he'd fucking say to you through it. so degrading, so controlling and dismissive, entirely fucking insulting. you're shocked time and time again that even while knowing it's just sex talk, it still hurts your feelings every single time.

then again, he's aware of that. but you're so goddamn pretty when you're crying and moaning, it drives him insane to know you endure it for his pleasure.

you're soaked by the time it's over and done with, he's soaked, and honestly the swollen marks against your ass still burn intensely when he rolls you over on your belly to get a good look at his work.

always with a breathy "aw, baby, i really fucked you up this time, huh?" or a little "took it so well, you still can't even focus your eyes on me, can you?" before rubbing any and every pained mark he left on you.

after his own brain clears of the sex-fog, he'd wrap you up, really warm and tightly in his arms as if his hug would wipe away any of the spit and cum drying between your bodies, as if it could mask all of those insults he flung at you. still, he'd be fluttering hundreds of kisses against your neck and ears, whispering little compliments about how pretty you are when you're barely able to keep your eyes open, about how much he adores you, and how often he wishes you'd believe these words over the silly orgasm-fueled insults.

still whispering, throughout the entire session of his care after the fact. always loving that you let him harm you as long as he's healing you just as good. and he does, truly, with the back rubs and the showers, tons upon tons of sweet kisses. constant praise. he'd put your lotion on you and rub it in thoughtfully, occasionally some medicated cream if his fingernails dug in a little too deep.

always always always holds you against his chest when you drift off to sleep, making sure any pain in your body feels more like love than anything else, and promising time and time again that he'll make sure you always fall asleep knowing he loves you, and that he doesn't at all think you're a fuck-doll, that he wouldn't let his friends have their turn way you.

(i am madly in love with him, pls look away and stop thinking of him now thank u)

★sunghoon:

ah, sunghoon. yeah. sunghoon. this man would leave you a fucking mess of tears and drool, edging you for hours. hell, he edges you for fucking days just because he can. not at all because you've been bad, or a brat, or have managed to make him jealous.

this is one of those days. you could tell he came home with that look in his eye, grabbing your face and practically forcing you to lift on your toes just so he could whisper the planned torture against your tongue.

so, after the second day with you whining, fucking begging to be released from your prison of sensitivity and lust, maybe he gives it to you. maybe he wakes you up from a deep and much needed sleep with fingers harshly pinching your clit.

ah, the pain. that alone was enough to make you cum, and you did. unfortunately, he didn't like that very much so your new torture was to get off as many times as he expected you to.

after about, what, the seventh orgasm? you stopped counting, it was closer to eleven in the afternoon and he'd been giving it to you for hours, all over that little mishap.

an eight orgasm knocked your ass out, exhausted, spread out, fucked senseless. you could barely hold your head up, but he does it for you. first by your hair, but noting the look in your eye indicating that he really needs to stop by this point.

and sunghoon is the type that would stop at that point. something in his brain clicking and forcing him back into that perfect boyfriend persona, where the only thing in the world he wants to do is make you happy.

and he knows it's not that you're not happy right now, it's mostly just the fact that he thinks he broke you're brain and you forgot how to feel anything other than his cock ramming inside of you.

so, he'd remind you time and time again. how his hands can do so much more than choke you, and how his lips can be sweet and less bruising against your temple when you really need it. you'd feel entirely loved when he's taking care of the mess he caused. both physically and mentally for you. needing to bring you back to reality with soft touches and tight holds.

it worked every time, because by the next morning, you'd just be moaning and groaning about how if he hadn't of make you breakfast in bed, you may have very well slashed his tires for the amount of suffering he put you through.

☆ jake:

bro is taking care of you not only after sex, but the entire time during sex. there's not a single moment where he's intentionally trying to hurt you, or forcing you to take more than you can handle.

it just....kind of happens on nights like these. where his hands are clinging, and his throat is begging, and your body can't say no. with his pretty puppy dog eyes asking if he can try anal, with his fingers slamming too deep, with his grip on you so tight you know it'll bruise, with his ability to knock the breath out of you and not give it back until you're nearly blue in the face.

yeah, most of the intense shit is accidental, but god is he taking care of you. always apologizing but continuing, always promising to make it up to you, always feeding into your ego more than his own, reminding you that the pain his body lends only comes from the immense amount of need he has to practically crawl inside of you and live there forever.

it's kind of amazing actually, that someone who starts so gentle can also end with blood in his mouth from bitten lips and swelling bruises all over your body.

he tends to you hand and foot. carrying you where ever you need to go even if just to your closet three feet from the bed, dresses you, undresses you, fixes your hair, does your skin care, all while kissing the bruises and ignoring the fact that he knows he'll never have enough of you, and you're probably always gonna be in pain when he loses his control like that.

#enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #heeseung smut #jake smut #jay smut #sunghoon smut #jaeyun smut #jongseong smut #hardthots

[ladykailitha]

Spooky season is here and I was just thinking about that tiktok (maybe) of the couple at the haunted house where the guy pushes the girl onto the feet of the ax wielding haunt and then the girl and haunt have a conversation that ends with the girl chasing the asshole with the ax and the haunt happily following her.

But make that Steddie. Steve as the girl. Set between seasons 3 and 4, but in a world where Steve going on a date with a man is surprise not a thing of revulsion (as in people would surprised that he was dating a guy having been a ladies man in high school, but no one would give him shit about it). Because it's my sand box, damn it. I make the rules here!

*

Steve wasn't sure what possessed him to go on this date with Jeremy. He didn't like haunted houses. He had seen too many real horrors in his life be frightened of fake ones. But Robin said he could pretend to be scared and cling to the guy's arm, maybe even get a kiss out of it.

What he wasn't expecting was for it to actually terrify him. He was clutching Jeremy's arm the whole way through, chanting in his head "don't hurt them, it's not real." Over and over again whenever the urge to push the actors away or in one extreme case when they were in the haunted hospital break the doctor's nose.

The actor looked too much like Dr Brennan, and while the patient on the gurney wasn't a girl or even had shaved hair, but Steve's protective instinct went into overdrive. It took every ounce of self-will Steve had to keep clutching Jeremy's arm.

They finally hit a room that didn't look so bad. It had a wood floor and four garish statues, one in each corner. Their fog machine was working in high gear but seemed to collect around one figure in particular.

It held an ax over its head, its mouth open in a silent scream. The robes that gathered around its sandled feet were perfectly rendered in stone. The sleeves of the robe revealed a couple of bat tattoos on the right forearm.

Steve was entranced, he let go of Jeremy's arm for the first time since they started and took a step toward it.

It was then the actor jumped off his pedestal and swung his ax down.

Jeremy did the inexplicable. Maybe even outright despicable thing. He pushed Steve forward into the waiting arms of ax murder. Steve stumbled landing on the actor's feet.

"Whoa!" the actor asked. "Are you okay?" He put the ax down and helped Steve get to his feet.

"Did he really just shove me at you to save his own ass?" Steve asked in shock.

The actor cocked his head to the side. "That's what it looked like to me. I hope that was a friend and not a date..."

Steve winced. "Sadly, the latter."

"Fuck, dude," the actor said. He spotted the ax. "You want to get revenge?" He picked up the ax and handed it to Steve.

Steve laughed. "Hell yeah!"

He ran after Jeremy, very plastic ax in hand, the actor cheering him on.

The next room was holding Jeremy so that he wouldn't be split from Steve and gotten lost. It was full of evil clowns. Something that apparently Jeremy was terrified of, judging by the screaming he had been doing.

The actors spotted Steve coming at their prey with an ax and Eddie cheering him from behind, they immediately clocked what had probably gone down. They let Jeremy pass them and two of the clowns broke off to chase him out of the haunted house, gaining cast members with each passing room (still enough remaining to scare other patrons but obviously gaining a crowd to hound this guy.)

He exited the haunted house screaming obscenities at Steve and the actors. The crowd laughing and pointing. He got into his car and drove off.

The smile slid off Steve's face. "Fuck. There goes my ride home."

The ax murder laughed as all the other actors went back inside. He pulled off his hood to reveal a mess of dark brown curls and grey face paint around his eyes on his lips. "I've gotcha, big boy."

"Eddie Munson, right?" Steve asked when he finally placed the face.

"Aww," Eddie cackled. "You do remember me."

Steve scoffed. "Kinda hard to forget."

Eddie's grin grew big. "Duly noted." He scratched the back of his head. "I am sorry about the shitty date though."

Steve shrugged. "It turned out more fun then I thought it would."

Eddie cocked his head again. "True. It's not every day you get chase away a bad date with plastic ax."

Steve handed it back to him. "Shouldn't you be getting back? Won't the other patrons find it odd when the room is empty of scares?"

Eddie smiled slyly. "Who says I left my post unattended?"

Steve's eyes went wide. "How many more of the statues are actors?"

Eddie leaned forward into his space. "I'll never tell," he said sing-song.

Steve laughed.

"Just let me inform my boss I'm taking you home and clean up this makeup, I'll get you home, Stevie," Eddie said.

"You don't have to do that," Steve mumbled. "I'm sure I could call someone."

Eddie shook his head. "Nah, I've got you."

"Thanks."

Ten minutes later Eddie was back on the pavement standing next to Steve. He was back in his usual shredded black jeans and leather jacket. But he wore a denim vest over top of it.

"I like the vest," Steve murmured. "I like pins and things."

"Patches," Eddie said.

Steve hummed his confusion.

"The other things are patches," Eddie explained.

Steve smiled. "That's cool."

Eddie pulled up to Steve's house without asking for directions.

"Should I ask how you knew that?" Steve asked as he got out of the van.

Eddie just waggled his eyebrows as he got out of the van too.

"You gonna walk me to the door, Eds?" Steve asked with a smirk.

"These woods behind your house are pretty fucking scary, dude," Eddie said with a huff of laughter.

Steve just shook his head and bit his tongue to avoid saying exactly how much.

They got to his door and Eddie pressed a kiss to Steve's lips.

It was sweet and warm. "What was that for?" Steve asked, breathlessly.

"Isn't that what you do at the end of a date?" Eddie asked with a teasing grin. "Walk them to door and give them a kiss good night?"

Steve laughed. "Yeah. Yeah it is. Good night, Eds."

"Good night, Stevie."

Eddie walked to his van. "If you want to go on a date that doesn't end you chasing your date with an ax, you know where to find me."

Steve grinned. "I might just take you up on that. Provided it's not another haunted house."

"Don't worry, baby," Eddie said with grin. "I'm loyal. Just a one haunted house kind of guy."

Steve shook his head and unlocked the door. Before he close it behind him he could hear Eddie celebrating, cheering and hollering.

Robin was never going to believe him when he told her how his date went.

But that's okay. She was right. It was fun.

*

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @itsall-taken @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @bookbinderbitch @littlewildflowerkitten @redfreckledwolf @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @vecnuthy

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #haunted house #bisexual steve harrington #steve's date is a jerk #eddie to the rescue

[vole-mon-amour]

We get to see more sex with Halsin in his human form than we get to see with Astarion. Rude. On the other hand, Halsin going down on my trans girl is such a pleasant surprise (I just wish we had something similar with Astarion, some tender moment to share). The bear cutscene is so fun, but very short for my taste. I hoped they rendered more than what they showed at the con. Where's my large? The squirrel and the moon in the background are a nice touch, two druids, naked bodies, "just like nature intended".

ON THE OTHER HAND, Halsin himself says about Astarion's skin scent is on our character's skin and he sees how much Astarion means to us. "You've found a partner in him", but at the same time Halsin says that "perhaps, one day, he will participate". Gosh, poly characters are the freaking BEST. Astarion is so freaking special to me (and he guessed about Halsin and wondered when we were going to talk about it with him, heh) and I would NEVER if it bothered him. But since he's only self-concious about sex itself and not the idea of sharing him with Halsin, I'm 😍. I do hope they created an interesting and satisfying ending for his romance.

Jokes on me, I thought it's easier to romance Halsin than Astarion and it absolutely is not, lol. I've waited sooo long until he actually offered to have sex and said that he sees more in my character than just a friend while with Astarion we've been dating for a while and he's all in. I can't imagine getting rejected by him, lol. He might disapprove on some of my actions but our relationship is still exceptional, as it should be. Like, I'd do anything for him. He's my special boy.

Oh, and when you come to talk to Astarion after the night with Halsin, our character: "Maybe this will bring us closer." Astarion. 🥰❤️

And at the beginning of the day I have to drag myself back to the real world instead of running around the camp: kiss Astarion, kiss Halsin, spend time with both. Lol.

"May I kiss you?"

"Come here, to me," Halsin kisses our character. "Was there something else you wanted, my heart?"

HE IS SOOOO—

"I feel closer to nature now that nature has been inside me."

🥰🥰🥰

#natisplaying #bg3 #astarion x halsin #astarion #halsin #halstarion

[veliseraptor]

If you haven't done so already, do you have any particular headcanons for Xiao Xingchen?

I've always seen him as a very interesting character, from his fife as the pupil of an inmortal master, to his views about the world. I specially find the image of the folk hero he seems to have incredibly appealing, although I feel it gets left behind in the background of the story. But what do you think?

boy do I!!! I have a stack of Xiao Xingchen headcanons that just might together stack up longer than the entire yi city arc in canon. I have long experience with building a large edifice of headcanon upon a relatively slim amount of actual text, and I have spent a lot of time thinking about Xiao Xingchen. I'm sure this comes as a complete surprise to everyone.

one important headcanon to me is the sort of...pair that Xiao Xingchen is a very sociable and extroverted person, and he has major abandonment issues. I feel like the first one is something where the perception is otherwise because he's not exactly boisterous and he has this "untouchable immortal" reputation following him around making him out to be something more than human (which also renders him less than human, but I've talked about that before).

but Xiao Xingchen loves people, I think - he believes in people, yes, but he also just generally genuinely likes them. he likes to talk to people. now, this doesn't always mean he's good at it - the other thing about Xiao Xingchen is that he's kind of weird and socially graceless - but he's a very friendly person by nature.

this makes his utter isolation post-baixue even sadder, because I don't think it's because he can't make connections, or doesn't want to - I think he's not letting himself try. he's cut himself off from trying to make friends. prior to that I think people tend to hold him at a distance, because other people perceive him as untouchable/distant and project that onto how they interact with him, and if they do interact with him he's weird and socially graceless which can be a turn-off for further interaction. afterwards he's just doing the same.

and meanwhile! all this is happening and Xiao Xingchen is in a state of continual low-level homesickness (the world is harder and meaner than he thought it would be, he can never go home, he genuinely believes in his decision to descend but also it hurts sometimes), and he has his one companion who is the best ever but even so...that's one person and I think Xiao Xingchen craves more connection than that. but because of who he is and who he's chosen to be, he doesn't have that community that he desperately misses, and he's not willing to compromise himself in order to find it the simplest way (i.e. by joining a sect).

the dream of creating a sect is, I think, a little more Xiao Xingchen's than Song Lan's - not that Song Lan's not in favor of the idea, but I think he'd be more content without it, continuing to be independent, than Xiao Xingchen is. but he also has his temple to go home to (until he doesn't).

and for extra spicy fun my headcanon has always been that Xiao Xingchen is very tactile while Song Lan is...the opposite, and while Xiao Xingchen would never complain and might not even acknowledge it to himself, he is perfectly content with the non-physical state of their relationship, of course, he would like to be cuddled and that's just not something Song Lan generally feels up to doing.

and then!! and then Song Lan lashes out at Xiao Xingchen, pushing him away, and the closest person Xiao Xingchen has to home is torn away from him, and then his actual home is taken away again (because he goes back for Song Lan only to have to leave again, really forever this time), and he's on his own wallowing in guilt and self-loathing and very determinedly being Alone until a-Qing shows up and basically goes "mine now" and adopts Xiao Xingchen as very much hers. A-Qing is so important for the way that she walks into Xiao Xingchen's self-imposed solitude and just moves in without taking no for an answer. that's, I think, part of why Xiao Xingchen loves her so much.

but after Song Lan there's definitely a low key assumption for Xiao Xingchen, I think, that people will leave him eventually. I think he always tended toward a little bit of clinginess, but after he gives up his eyes that clinginess both increases exponentially and also becomes an exercise in intense self-denial. he won't let himself be clingy with the people he cares about even if that is what he desperately wants to be. nobody would want to live with us in this coffin house.

there's an exchange that I'm really quite proud of in The Care and Keeping of an Unexpected Captive:

“You like - you like feeling like a hero. Like you’re - saving the world, all the pathetic people too weak to save themselves, there’s you, righteously battling evil, kind, generous–” Words that would be compliments from someone else Xue Yang spat like insults. Xiao Xingchen drew back. “That’s not it,” he protested. “I don’t care who knows me, or if anyone does. I’m not looking for fame or glory–” “No,” Xue Yang said, his voice harsh, “you just want people to love you.”

and I don't think Xue Yang is wrong. he's not 100% right either - Xiao Xingchen does believe in his mission, and does just genuinely want to help people and do the right thing.

but he also really, really, really wants to be loved, and is very afraid that he won't be.

#conversating #anonymous #look at that i wrote a mini essay #xiao xingchen #aggressively headcanons #the sad queer cultivators show #i think a lot about xxc's dysfunction. it's fun

[freeced]

FNAF Song | "Bunny Boy" (Springtrap/William Afton) | Freeced [Lyric Video]

🎵 I'm a bunny boy I'm so warm and fuzzy🎵

Hi! I'm back with another FNAF song, so very very long after my reportedly euphonious but blandly-named Security Breach rap, Close at Midnight.

This one's just furry music really! No bones about it! I fucking love bunny boys dude! I've been saying it for so long and now that I'm building Springworld around some decidedly lagomorphic characters (Lylack isn't technically a lagomorph but we don't have time for this right now!), I really just had to take the lid off with the catchiest, earwormiest song I think I've ever written. Certainly the catchiest song I've ever produced. FNAF song furry bait! ("FNAF song furry bait" can be sung to the opening riff of "Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish, by the way, if you pronounce "FNAF" as one syllable. Try it!)

Like a lot of FNAF songs, Bunny Boy is directly inspired by Five Nights at Freddy's and the character of William Afton, but it doesn't belong only to FNAF fans! It's for bunny boys, bunny boy appreciators, and anybody that just likes to bounce sometimes. It's for the bots and the cyborgs and the automatons and everybody that takes care of them. Undoubtedly, relentlessly, unshakably, perpetually, it is for the gays. It's for fans of The Stupendium who like the silly little Stupes reference I left in the bridge. It's for me! It's for you, if you'll have it.

Now here's a secret: The YouTube version of this song differs from the version that appears on streaming platforms. Why? Like I said, it's a secret.

It's not a secret actually, I just forgot to update the video project before rendering after I added one final little sound effect to the song. I like both versions, but I think I like the final final one just that much more. Is this good marketing? Is this ADHD? (Well it's definitely ADHD, that much is given.) Either way, I'm now quite curious to know which one everybody ends up liking more. Oh! Am I being cryptic about what the sound effect is? It's just that boing boing sound in the chorus! I think it adds a certain je ne sais quoi.

Anyway, that's Bunny Boy! I hope you love it, I hope it makes you bounce, I hope some bunny furs and cosplayers get a hold of it somehow because I think it would really light up some screens. Thanks for listening! Thanks for reading! I know I haven't done a post for Hollow yet, I'll get to it I swear! I just wanted to do this one first. Thanks for permitting me a little while longer on this cozy site.

xoxo,

Freeced

#freeced #nerdcore #fnaf #fnaf songs #fnaf song #five nights at freddy's #fnaf fanart #fnaf music #william afton #freddy fazbear #bunny boy #bunny #bunny girl #fnaf bonnie #spring bonnie #purple guy #springtrap #Youtube #freecedraps

[sunshinemoonrx]

Cai, Bedwyr and company

So pretty much ever since this post about the original folkloric magical-warrior Arthur, I've been doodling designs for other characters surrounding him (and that real good art I rb'd yesterday kicked my ass into wanting to upload them finally).

Of the companions of the Welsh version of Arthur, Cai (or Cei/Kei) has to top the list. Most magical guy in the world. Per Culhwch & Olwen dude has heat and cold powers, he can grow giant, he can survive underwater for nine days. He fought a giant cat once. (It's actually kind of interesting that he later was adapted into the boorish, incompetent Sir Kay because of how amazing he originally was; it's the classic anime rival bit where you can show how cool your new OC, Lancelot or whoever, is by having him be better than the existing best guy)

I was already leaning into the "slutty magical anime boys" aesthetic and, with characters like this who only appear once the legendary Welsh versions of the 9th century on get into full swing, I felt more license to go further with that (whereas my Arthur and Trwyth look slightly more down-to-earth because they appears even earlier as small-scale local figures).

So my concept for Cai is that since he can generate heat from his skin so intense no rain can touch him without evaporating, by anime girl character design logic obviously he has to leave his back and shoulders and thighs uncovered since that's where I'm having his wings of magical flame project from.

The hair gave me a little trouble--I briefly thought I could give him two-coloured hair to reflect his heat/cold thing, but then I remembered one of the popular HeroAca guys is a two-colour-hair fire-ice-powers guy so I hard-swerved away from treading on those toes. In the end I settled on the MILFy ponytail at the bottom since it'd keep his hair clear of his back, since again, it's very logical and strategically important for the skin there to be bare.

The gloves and metal bands, meanwhile, are meant to be like a shadow the hedgehog power-limiter kinda deal, where he can take them off to unleash his full elemental power. That works with gloves but not really the boots, but I didn't want to lose the symmetry, but then! A piece of medieval Welsh poetry gave me inspiration for another function, and a way to make the design hornier I guess.

One of the Triads of Britain refers to the Three Fettered Men of the Isle of Britain: "Because horses could not be obtained that were suited to them, owing to their size; so they put fetters of gold around the small of their legs, on the cruppers of their horses, behind their backs".

Cai isn't one of the three, but in addition to his main epithet "Cai Wyn" ("worthy Cai", or "Cai the Fair", so it's important he's hot you see), he's also known as "Cai Hir" ("Cai the Tall"), which may be a reference to his ability to grow giant, and fits the 'reasoning' in the Triad. So the bands on his legs became fetters of gold, and my idea is he releases his power by breaking the chain to do his Ultraman rise.

A "crupper", meanwhile, seems to be like, an ass-harness? Sure, that fits the vibe we've ended up at. I figured that can be what he slings his sword from, and then spent...a while trying to figure out the logistics of that. So y'know I had to draw his hips and ass a bunch. For science.

As you can see, there's a couple of attempts to render the leotard as chainmail; one story, Rhonabwy's Dream, describes Cai as wearing mail of pure white rings with pure red rivets, which sounds gorgeous but I dunno how to draw white chainmail so I mostly gave up. He can wear one over the other, I guess?

In Culhwch, Cai (who is the best sword-maker in the world, naturally) forges a sword for the giant Wrnach Gawr, then kills him with it and takes it, so I figured that'd be a cool weapon to give him. Cai asks if he'd like it to be white-bladed or dark-blue-bladed, and Wrnach answers "whichever way you prefer"; we never find out what that is, so I thought an asymmetrical design incorporating both would be fun.

Anyway, here's another friend: Bedwyr! Precursor to Sir Bedivere, Bedwyr is Cai's constant companion, who "never feared a quest that Cai went on". Do Not separate them. He's the Fast Guy; though he has one hand, he can draw blood three times faster than anyone can with two; by the time you notice he's stabbed you once, he's stabbed you another seven times, etc. He's also noted as the most beautiful man in all the land (except Arthur, and one other guy whose name never comes up anywhere else).

I had kinda wanted to give Cai lots of hair volume but was thwarted by the bare-back thing so I made that Bedwyr's thing, and he's gotta be a spear guy given the above (another fun thing is his spearhead can fly off and stab guys on its own then come back to him). Another Triad calls Cai one of the "Three Diademed Battle-Leaders of the Isle of Britain", but adds after giving the three that "And one was diademed above the three of them: that was Bedwyr son of Bedrawc." So that's why they both have little tiaras, and while I flip back and forth on the look I settled on making Bedwyr's a little fancier and Cai's simpler to conform with the poem.

So that's how we arrive at what I consider my final designs for these two lovebirds (one poet tells us Bedwyr's death left Cai "heartbroken"); in the end I prefer the sword-harness just looking like a simple belt from the front, and I added some boots? Thigh-socks? Something?? to Bedwyr to break up the design a bit. The asymmetry of them to conform with his tunic's skirt is inspired by Marin from Saint Seiya, who really rocks the asymmetrical leggings.

And on the right is an initial go at Gwenhwyfar, precursor to Guinivere (and I try to respect the Welsh spellings and pronounciations generally, but I may sometimes refer to her as just "Gwen" in this case). I was inspired by a fragmentary dialogue between her and an antagonistic warrior Melwas (who spends half the dialogue trying to fight Cai actually), where he calls her "Gwenhwyfar of the deer's glance", which brought a vision of a spooky lanky cryptid lady with all-black too-long eyes to mind.

The battle of Camlann was said to be brought about by conflict between Gwenhwyfar and her sister Gwenhwyfach, and a blow struck by the latter to the former, but they might also be like...reflections of the same person's good and bad sides or something?? It's all very murky. In any case, I couldn't stop thinking of Gwen as someone who punches dudes, and the main other instance of that in Welsh legends are their versions of "witches", who wear armour and kill with iron claws. Gwen's mother is a member of the Roman nobility, so I thought fuck it, let's get real wacky and ahistorical and dress her like a cestus-wielding gladiator. Roman influence, iron claws, punching dudes, it all comes together.

Oh, and her father is a giant, so I drew a little Arthur to scale at the bottom to show she's inherited some of that too. I wanna draw her more and refine this, make her spookier (one Triad presents her as being three people? Or Arthur just had three wives with the same name? It might just be a pun? Unclear???) But for now, here's one final page of assorted stuff, presented a couple ways up for clarity:

So there's another Bedwyr; below him, the Cath Palug, the giant cat Cai fights in the poem Pa Gur, which I do intend to do a big funky monster design for, but much like Trwyth in the first post, I had fun doing a human one too. What, am I not gonna draw a catgirl when I can draw a catgirl?

From the other angle, there's Melwas, foe of Cai and Gwen mentioned above. He describes himself as young, and Gwen calls him a "lad of black and yellow", so I made him a twink with dyed hair, but I'll do a more full design later. Probably not before doing Cai's fight with the Cath Palug though.

Caledfwlch, the pre-Excalibur, I drew before, but I did a more ostentatious version here based on its description in Rhonabwy's Dream, where drawing it is like flames leaping forth from the jaws of the serpents whose designs were on it, so blinding no-one could look at it. I like to imagine it having the more humble look until the critical moment when it reveals its true form.

Aaaaand then there's Arthur on a motorbike. (You may have noticed there's one of these way further up in this post in one of the Cai pages) This is just me continuing to think about that idea from the last post about him popping back up in the modern day. Mostly what I orbit around is that he'd defeat whatever evil wizard he was summoned to deal with and then people would be like "so your job is done?" and he'd be like "what? no, the world is clearly in grave peril" and start running around destroying fossil fuel infrastructure. In fact I have a real hankering to make that a comic, but I'd need to be like, an actual artist for that.

So anyway the idea is he gets the spirit of his horse (Llamrei) to inhabit the bike, enabling it to do sick physics-defying stunts. Here's another for the road in fact:

(Wow, Cat, do you like Kamen Rider or something?)

#arthuriana #king arthur #catia learns to draw #culhwch and olwen

[moonlightswritingandstuff]

all my life i've been so lonely all in the name of being holy (and still, you'd like to think you own me)

Valentina Diaz is a lot of things to a lot of people, but none of those are her own; those are all false facets of an imaginary person that Valentina never could and never will be. Or: five words others think of Valentina as, and her own opinion in that matter.

read on ao3!

trigger warnings: none

One

If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it's unforgettable, Alex thinks. She is a tempest; a tempest of which stormed into his heart two months ago and broke it today.

He can still smell her perfume on the edges of his apartment; it seems to linger even though Valentina herself is long gone. The perfume smells of honeysuckle and hope, hope she seems to forget to inspire.

Oh, well. Valentina dated Alex for two months and he is not surprised. His friends had all warned him, a slough of "she only dates people for a maximum of three months" and "she's going to break your heart". He would just be another in her long line of exes, they said, and they were right.

Oh, well.

Alex likes fun, and Valentina was fun. It wasn't serious, she didn't even really break his heart. But she sort of did all the same, like a good memory that, in the light of its passing, renders it more sad.

But he still wasn't sure how he would move on, if he ever would completely. Stuck in heartbreak while also having moved on long ago, a strange limbo that Alex couldn't seem to shake no matter what he tried.

But for some reason, Alex didn't care. Bittersweet as it was, Valentina Diaz is not someone Alex would ever want to forget, or go back before they dated.

It was weird, but perfectly natural at the same time.

After all, if there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it's unforgettable.

«»

Two

If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it's shallow. Piper's never found her sister to be all that interesting or deep, she just seemed to care for nothing but boys and breaking their hearts.

Well, most of Piper's siblings are like that. They don't care about people, they care about things. Material over emotional. Which is why Piper cannot stand her siblings. They're terrible, terrible people, only seeming to care about pink and love and dating and not the actual people behind them.

They're so fake, Valentina most of all. Because she pretends to care, even when everyone knows she very much does not. At least Drew has the decency to embrace how terrible she is.

Valentina pretends to care. She breaks heart after heart, all boys and girls who don't know what they're in for when it comes to Valentina Diaz.

And Valentina Diaz is a terrible, terrible person. She breaks hearts without remorse, she cares for nothing but the jewels adorning her neck and ears, she wouldn't know true love if it hit her upside down in the head.

Valentina Diaz hates Silena Beauregard just as much as Drew, too. Piper may have never met Silena, but she was a hero. That's what everyone says, except for the Aphrodite Cabin.

Honestly, Piper doesn't know how they can do that. How they can hate someone who clearly isn't in the wrong.

But, if Piper's being honest, she doesn't really care to know her siblings, and neither do they care to know her. Because her siblings are terrible, terrible people, and Piper most definitely is not.

Because at least Piper has the decency to care.

And just like every other one of Piper's siblings, the one word to describe Valentina Diaz is shallow.

«»

Three

If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it is disagreeable. Adelita Diaz has find her cousin to be all too self-important.

Because something changed about Valentina Diaz when she was fourteen. Because Valentina Diaz holds herself like someone who has no experience with things, because Valentina speaks like someone tired with fate. What could she ever feel tired of?

Sure, Valentina’s mother is long-dead or long-gone - everyone around them talks too much about unimportant things and too little about important things when it comes to the mysterious woman who is Valentina’s mother - and Adelita doesn’t care much to listen, either.

Valentina Diaz has never been much of a concern to Adelita Diaz, yet Valentina bothers her all the same. Valentina goes through boyfriends (and girlfriends and partners in general) as fast as Adelita goes through books.

Which is to say, all too quickly.

But besides that, Adelita has never quite known how to act around Valentina. Sure, they're cousins, but Valentina changes like the fall winds. When Adelita thinks she has Valentina down - like she did until they were both fourteen - and then Valentina changes radically, and suddenly Adelita's blindsided by her cousin's changing. And then Adelita gets used to the new Valentina, and suddenly Valentina goes back to Old Valentina with the flighty dating, and then Valentina changes once more.

Valentina changes like the fall winds, and she doesn't slow down enough for Adelita to catch up.

And that's it, Adelita would say. Valentina is a cacophony that changes meter every few seconds. Adelita can never understand her cousin; Adelita can never sympathize with her cousin.

And because of that, the one word to describe Valentina Diaz is disagreeable.

«»

Four

If there's one word to describe Valentina Diaz, it is flaming. After all. Alice Miyazawa has always loved her best friend. Valentina is a tempest, a heartbreaker, but she's also fun. Just what Alice wants in a best friend.

Valentina isn't like Drew with a heart of snow; her heart is made of fire instead, burning and warming all the same. All that Alice wants for a best friend.

The boys she falls in love with only to fall out of love soon enough are just trees in a grand forest she rages in; Alice is not a tree. She is a person warming themselves by a hearth-fire after a cold night; Alice sees the life under the fire that Valentina is.

Fire is Valentina, Alice muses. Nothing more, nothing less.

Alice loves Valentina because she's fun, because although she may be flighty and may be careless with others' hearts, she'll never be careless with Alice's. Valentina will never be careless with her friends' hearts.

And Alice is Valentina's friend.

So the next time Alice gets broken up with someone, she'll sit on Valentina's couch with her friend and cry over ice cream and the best hot chocolate ever - because Valentina always makes excellent hot chocolate.

(Seriously. Is it an Aphrodite thing or is Valentina just that good at hot chocolate of all things?)

But there's no way in Hades that Alice would ever tell one of her friends to date Valentina. There's not way in Hades that Alice would ever set Valentina up with someone.

Because she doesn't want her friends to get their heart broken.

After all, through thick and thin, the one word to describe Valentina Diaz is flaming.

«»

Five

If there is one word to describe Valentina, it is unshakeable. Lacy admires her sister more than she'll ever tell.

Valentina, who can easily come back from everything. Valentina, who bounces back from tragedy and becomes their shoulder to cry on.

Lacy can rely on Valentina like no one else.

Because at least Valentina won't betray them like Silena did. Because at least Valentina won't twist her love into cruelty like Drew. Because at least Valentina won't expect them to be people they aren't like Piper. Because at least Valentina cares enough to leave her mask on and keep them safe.

Valentina has always been Lacy's favourite sibling. She's the person who taught Lacy how to apply makeup, how to select her outfits. Lacy has always looked like a doll, one of those creepy dolls that haunt suburban Southern homes, but Valentina tells her it makes her beautiful, tells her to lean into it.

And so Lacy does. And Lacy can rely on Valentina.

It's a few days after the Titan War. Valentina smiled at her through the mirror, raising her dagger up to apply her eyeliner. Lacy copied that motion, and it's messy, but Valentina smiled even more, and gently helped Lacy to get it right.

Lacy's young, they all are. But being part of the Aphrodite Cabin means something. It means something more than what it should. It means a certain responsibility, a certain awareness of her body that no thirteen-year-old should have. It's a silent obligation they all have. And Valentina bears it best, somehow. Valentina can carry the rest of them to a home they will never have.

They don't talk about it, but Drew once remarked something that they all know too dearly: beautiful women have unhappy fates. Lacy supposes it applies to everybody.

But it never seems to affect Valentina all that much.

And because of that, the best word to describe Valentina Diaz is unshakeable

«»

+ One

Valentina does not know who she is.

She feels terrible for breaking so many hearts. Alex was the most recent. She feels like she has to warm her friends. Like Alice. She feels like she has to portray a mask. Even to Piper, her sister. She feels like she has to be more mature. Like with Adelita and Lacy.

Romantic relationships are so easy, Valentina thinks. In romantic relationships, she doesn't have to be committed. She can casually date. Alex knew what was going to happen. He knew what he was getting into. Friendships are worse, family is worse.

With Alice, she never feels truly like herself. Alice sees what she wants, and she sees the Valentina as her best friend. Best friend is a scary term; it never seems to mean what people think it should. Best friend means too much. It sets Alice apart. Valentina doesn't do close relationships. So she'll make Alice her hot chocolate and don the mask of Alice's Best Friend, and it's so different from Valentina's Daughter of Aphrodite mask, and Valentina's Good Older Sister mask, and Valentina's Indifferent Beauty mask.

She shows so many people masks. All she is is masks, buried over and over and over each other, not a single one showing who she is.

She is a jewel, facets upon facets of equally beautiful, equally wanted. They are facets owned by many and owned by few, but none of those facets are owned by Valentina.

She wants to be rough, a diamond uncut. She wants to be coal, messy and dirty and being everywhere possible. She wants to be obsidian, strong and unshakeable.

She is her masks, her masks are her, but they are not everything. Valentina has never been anything but her masks.

She knows all her ex-boyfriends and most people at camp - including Piper, her own sister - see the Daughter of Aphrodite mask, or the Indifferent Beauty mask, depending on how well they know her. Alice sees Alice's Best Friend mask, and so does Julia, Alice's other best friend who doesn't like Valentina all that much. Oh well. And Valentina knows her half-siblings except Piper see the Good Older Sister mask.

And they are her masks, and nothing more. Valentina has never been anything but her masks.

So, if you asked Valentina, and she was being truthful, she would say that she does not know who she is.

#valentina diaz #piper mclean #lacy pjo #alice miyazawa #cabin ten #aphrodite cabin

[annunakitty]

I've been addicted to Yakuza 0 and I'm so glad that I gave it a shot because it's an excellent game. I've heard that it's the grind-iest of the Yakuza games, but despite that I'm really enjoying it. I love the two main protagonists; Kiryu is a little bit of a dipshit but love that he always tries to do the right thing, and ngl Majima is my fave; I love the whole "scary looking gruff dude" who's actually a complete and total sweetheart thing.

I think what impresses me most is the animations. There are three kinds of rendering going on in the game, which is kinda wild; obviously there's the pre-rendered cutscenes, and there's the general-purpose renderer for most of the gameplay, but then there's a more advanced renderer for non-pre-rendered cutscenes and more closed and intimate scenes, where the animations are just... impeccable. Particularly the facial animations, though this game isn't photorealistic sometimes the way the eyes and skin and mouths are animated they somehow MOVE so real.

I first really noticed it with Majima's boss, Sagawa-sama. The imperfections they gave the textures for his face despite not being photorealistic in rendering, the animating felt like I was looking at a real guy.

Then I got to the Cabaret Club and the "customer service training" (dating sim) you can do with the Platinum girls, and micro-movements in the eyes as they flit back and forth, the way they "smize," the movement of eyebrows when they talk, the way the model's "skin" deforms around the mouth and cheeks when they talk, the way the bottom lip puffs out when they pout or scrunches when they're annoyed, it's like... Almost eerie. It's not in the uncanny vally, but it's so far on the side of realism that it feels like I'm looking at a real person.

I think game devs can learn a LOT from this game's animations. I think the closest I've seen to this quality of facial animations was in Horizon: Zero Dawn, maybe Dad of Boy (God of War), but both of those fell short in various ways. Horizon's characters just had kinda dead eye-d stares, and God of War... Well, GoW's animations were pretty beautiful, and the graphic are better than Y0 in general, but the facial animations didn't blow me away quite like this.

Anyway, that's my Yakuza 0 dump. Play this game.

CW for transphobia, there's a character called "Pleasure King" in Kiryu's story that is a trans woman but everyone refers to as a man with he/him pronouns, and Kiryu treats her as kinda gross. Similarly there's a bartender called Mama-san in the bar Earth Angel who is a trans woman, there's a substory involving her that's kinda gross. It's more than a little sexist, too, but imho makes up for it with how kind and chivalrous the two protags are even.

Honestly I kinda want to write a video essay about the sexism in this game because it's a very interesting blend and contrast of real-world sexism and absurd sexist caricatures, and I think it's worth exploring how Kiryu and Majima navigate that world that is for men while (mostly) genuinely respecting the women around them. It's kinda fascinating

Anyway, bye

[technofinch]

Ok now that I've made it to toronto, here are, unedited, uncensored, all the posts that were written in the sky prison

There arent any rules yet about applying perfume while on a plane. I think we can exploit this Does anyone know where to get Eau d' Engine Fire

I understand why you would do terrorism on a plane I just dont get how. This shit is unnavigable

Got that D B Cooper type drip

Closing the airplane window and pretending I'm just on a really shitty train

From the creators of the meeting that could have been an email, we bring you, the flight that could have been a train ride

Oh I so badly wish I was dancing with someone right now

Listening to The Mountain Goats- You're In Maya on loop for this entire 2 hour plane ride might not be a good idea but like. What else am I supposed to do. Look at pictures of moths on my phone? I can multitask

Thank god I have all these pictures of moths on my phone

Next time I'm bringing a book about the air traffic controllers union

If bo bichette himself isn't waiting for me at the toronto airport i will purchase a bottle of expensive wine at the duty free store and smash it upon the ground

Honestly I would love to be punched in the face rn. I think it would fix me

Bro that's not the curvature of the earth, your render distance is just set too low. Get better hardware bro

I think the pilot should be able to get a little silly with it. If she wants to.

Oooooo we wigglin now boys

Nothing but respect for the boys in blue [image of the toronto blue jays baseball team]

If that bitch Simon Fairchild had anything to do with this I'll have his crusty old head on a platter and bury it in a lead box so far down in the earth there won't even be an air pocket big enough to stick an ant's dick in

Jesus christ there's still 30 mins to landing and we've been up here for years

Plane sex is all fun and games until you accidentally yell something about going down

Listening to The Mountain Goats- You're In Maya on loop for this entire 2 hour plane ride was a great idea actually. There's nowhere I want to go and nowhere I need to be and the window looks out upon nothing and nothing looks right back at me

It might be cliche but I think wheat is the sexiest cereal grain. Plump and gorgeous. Sometimes even bearded.

Sorry, who said that

Airbus is a slanderous and misleading name for a commercial airliner. How dare they disgrace the name of the humble and faithful bus like this.

Remember the time they let jerma fly a plane? That was kind of fucked up huh

If I was a stewardess I would periodically casually remind passengers about the emergency procedures with increasing specificity. Just to keep people on their toes

I get why it takes so long to go up but I know we could go down way faster than this. Just fall, yeah?

[starkcanvas]

Clear Out AU 4 years later + more #2 :)

Sunny & Kel

These two are pretty inseparable after Sunny and Mari move into Ways-Off Town with Klaus and Del. During the summer, the boy often begging his parents on if he could sleep over at Sunny's for more than just one week. The parent's definitely not giving in at first. Then having the rule of only a few days and with Hero.

As he get's older though, the Dad helps the mom get more lenient with Kel. Him making a comment that Kel's grades have significantly improved due to hanging around Sunny and his new family so much. The mom did agree to that point and when the boys are a bit older, around 14-15-ish, is when the two have week long sleepovers often during the summer time.

But slowly, the more time they spend with each other, Kel notices that he's starting to feel different around Sunny and he doesn't know what to do about it. He'd try to talk to his parents about it, but he was worried his mom would freak out since he comes from one of the more religious families in Faraway and he didn't want her to freak out or get into a fight with their dad.

So he eventually decides to talk to Klaus and del about how he feels. Del specifically as Kel finds him the least intimidating. Kel admits to Del about how he's been feeling towards his son but then immediately speed talking about "please don't kick me out...!"

This obviously makes Del laugh as he reassures Kel he's okay with both him and Klaus. He also says that he and Klaus aren't ones to judge as they're both homosexual as well. But he tells Kel that if he had feelings for Sunny then they have his full support to go for it. Del making a slight comment on how the way he feels for Sunny reminds him of when he first fell for his husband.~

Kel was relieved at this news and thanks Del for the advice and support. Some time passes and Kel gets a moment with Sunny alone and admits how he's been feeling about him and that whenever he needed to go home, it felt like he was already home. That he cares about him that much.

This rendered the shorter boy speechless. Him not really sure how to respond other than with a bright red face. Kel being the exact same, but thinking he now made things awkward and tries to leave but Sunny stops Kel by grabbing him by the collar, pulling him down and kissing him on the lips. Kel is very taken back by this but then hears sunny faintly say:

"...Don't be scared Kel... I-I've liked you for a while too... I... I like you Kel.~"

From this moment forward, Kel is instantly on Cloud 9. Hugging Sunny close and reciprocating the kiss before he actually needed to go. After the confession, Kel very often takes the bus to Ways-Off in secret to see Sunny.

At one point he even stays over for a few weeks not long after Hero and Mari leave for college. He wanted to keep Sunny company since he knows how much Sunny doesn't like being alone. (Klaus and Del don't mind since it makes their son very happy and they've noticed he's been smiling more than he usually does lol)

Then when the big siblings come home suddenly around the end of their senior year, both younger sibs are reasonable worried. But when hearing the news that Mari and Hero are having a baby, they freeze for a moment and then Kel tackle hugs his brother and just screams:

"SUNNY AND I ARE GONNA BE UNCLES?!?!?!? :DDD"

Needless to say, the boys were excited. Sunny being extremely nervous not just in general, but also for his sister and just knowing that this was gonna be something really hard for her. Sunny expresses his concerns but Hero reassures him that Mari's in good hands.

After the two graduate from college and announce their engagement, The two move back into Klaus and Del's place on the two mens' orders as they want their daughter to have all the assistance she can get. Her and Hero moving into one of the other guest rooms since Kel kinda took over Mari's side of Sunny's room lmao

But when back in home, due to Hero heading out to try and get his cooking career started so that when they're on their own they'll have a sturdy budget, the boys have taken it upon themselves to be Mari's personal assistants with anything she needs. Them even helping her around the place when she's further along in the later months and can't walk much due to the extra weight weighing down on her prosthetic.

#long ass post again #i am so sorry for all the reading ;w; #omori #omori game #omori spoilers #omori au #omori: clear out #omori hero #omori kel #omori mari #omori sunny #omori oc #omori klaus #omori del #heromari #omori suntan #heromari fankid #omori lucas

[galaxae]

HIIII could you do the ship questionnaire for my bestest friends sebastian and tariq specifically the love section :3

you are so fucking epic thank you for asking. it's been a while since i've done anything for those two but rest assured they are on the brain

ship questionnaire can be found here (pls send me asks! or dont! my oc ships are charity/ace, sebastian/tariq, and uhh lucia/v but those two are not as well developed as the first two ships)

Who said “I love you” first?

tariq did! it was on sebastian's birthday, december 28, the first birthday for either of them since they started dating about 3 months prior. sebastian invited him over to his house for it. he usually had huge birthday bashes, and he was going to the next day, but for his actual birthday he just wanted a nice dinner with his bf and brothers. as tariq was leaving after the dinner (which was a bit awkward, but very sweet regardless), he hugged and kissed sebastian and said "i love you". sebastian was silent for a moment and then said it back :) and then tariq went home and had a panic attack about saying it, lmao

What are their primary love languages?

tariq likes gift giving and he likes receiving words of affirmation. physical touch is also very nice half the time, and the other half the time he'd rather die. sebastian likes giving words of affirmation as a more shallow and performative expression of love, but when he really falls for tariq, he does his true expression of love which is quality time. he's also a physical touch enjoyer

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

sebastian uses cheesy pickup lines at first, which flatters and charms tariq "the only people who've ever complimented me are my parents, and one of those parents is dead" al-amin so much. once tariq gains enough confidence, that flips. and oh boy, sebastian can dish it out, but he really can't take it. he is rendered speechless by tariq's attempts at pickup lines, even if they're really bad or awkwardly delivered, seb just loves it

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

not very often at all. tariq is way too socially anxious to agree to pda, and sebastian wants to keep their relationship under wraps as much as he can so the media doesn't get all weird (seb is a celebrity, whoops)

Who initiates kisses?

sebastian does at first. but like with the pickup lines, tariq eventually gains some confidence and is the one to initiate more often instead

Who’s the big and little spoon?

tariq is the little spoon 100%, and sebastian is the big spoon 100%, it works out

What are their favorite things to do together?

honestly? just kinda hang out and chat. the beginning of their relationship involves a lot of Dates(TM), to fancy restaurants, cafes, the movie theater, etc. but they soon calm down a little as their relationship becomes less performative on both ends. they sit in the same room while tariq does his coursework and sebastian trains, and they'll play video games or listen to music together too. just the simple things.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

sebastian is better at that. he's got such a good charisma stat. tariq has like -2 charisma BUT he soon learns that just being a gentle, quiet, calming presence that doesn't expect a performance will be super comforting to seb, so tariq's not half bad at that either

Who’s more protective?

they have a goddamn competition going or something to see who can be more protective. sebastian is like, i'm gonna track down beat up that one girl who pranked you in 7th grade, and also i'm gonna make sure this relationship stays as secret as possible because i don't want you to suffer from fame, and if someone tries to question why you're next to me i will use my ice powers to freeze their mouth shut. and tariq is like, i will straightup break my whole body to go help if you seem even a little in danger, i don't care if i'm useless in a fight, i'm gonna beat up the supervillain that hurt you and murdered one of your brothers and no you can't stop me. fuck you. their mutual friends are so tired of their bullshit.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

mostly physical, in many forms. unless tariq is having a bad sensory day, or bad symptoms from his chronic illness, in which case verbal affection is the way to go

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

idk many, but i know um, it's kind of a lot by will wood honestly reflects both of their perspectives, they're both afraid of losing each other for many many reasons. particularly sebastian, he's not used to genuinely falling in love with the guys he asks out

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

tariq calls sebastian "habibi", and eventually he takes to calling him "sebby" too, a nickname usually only reserved for sebastian's brothers. sebastian calls tariq things like "babe" or "baby" at first, but as they get closer, he starts calling tariq "my songbird".

Who remembers the little things?

they both do, but tariq especially, he has a keen eye for details and a sharp memory when it comes to things he's actually interested in (i.e. his boyfriend), so he remembers and points out those things all the time. sebastian notices the little things too, but he's unused to being this deeply in love, and he struggles to articulate those little things that he notices -- he can't fall back on his rehearsed, more generic compliments, and this causes discomfort, so he doesn't really say or do anything about those details

gawd this was fun i miss these two :3 thank you again!!

#adrian posts #ocs tag

[tryst-art-archive]

Context: 2011

It's taken me a minute to reconstruct in my mind what transpired in 2011. Most of the rest of college I don't really see in years so much as an amorphous block of time defined by a smattering of events that I know the order of but have only the loosest sense of when they occurred exactly.

Healing

Following the departure of Boyfriend 2, I had an odd, lonely period that I can't fully account for. The way I remember it is that I was totally isolated, but that doesn't actually make sense because logically I would've still been seeing my bestie and our wider friend group. What would have been true, however, was that I would've been back to a state of real isolation within my own college (my friends being almost entirely of my bestie's college), so maybe that's what I'm remembering.

Regardless, I somehow came into contact with a group of odd, nerdy boys who lived on a different floor within my dorm building. I don't remember how we met exactly, but I suspect it was an event being hosted in one of the common rooms. Whatever the case, after meeting them, I spent about a month hanging out with them very regularly.

It was a time period in which I did things I wouldn't normally do. For example, they'd often go into Chinatown late at night to get authentic Chinese food, and so I'd find myself following them into the darkness despite barely knowing them, trusting to the group to keep me safe without having the certitude that I was safe with them. I went anyway, maybe because I wanted some of the life-other-than-the-one-I've-lived that I got to have while seeing Boyfriend 2.

I remember only a couple other girls of their acquaintance; for the most part, when I spent time with them, it was just with the boys. I also remember that one of them in particular I seemed to be able to communicate tacitly with; we were both very sharp, observant people with analytical minds, I think, so we'd mutually pick up on cues others might miss. I also remember some exchanges with him that could have been flirting or could have been a ribald sense of humor.

This period was short-lived, measured in weeks rather than months, and when I departed from their group, it was in my usual method of simply disappearing like a ghost. I remember being able to tell that the sharp boy picked up on what I was doing, that he was quietly mad about it. In disappearing without an explanation, I burned a bridge.

Which begs the question, of course, why did I bail on that little group of friends? Honestly, I was just becoming uncomfortable with them, not because anyone had done anything, but because I had a growing sense of not belonging, that these weren't My People and the nascent friendship we were engaging in was inherently temporary in nature. That wasn't something I felt I could communicate, so I simply didn't.

The Big One

In the poetry class I took in the second semester of my sophomore year of college, I met a boy I would, in time, fall in concerningly deep and unrequited love with. He caught my attention because of his snakeskin cowboy boots, and we became acquainted after he wrote a poem about being bi--a topic no one in the class besides me was willing to broach for fear of being presumptuous (whereas I saw it as so obviously the intent that not raising it would render the workshop critique meaningless).

We hooked up rather quickly, but our arrangement had a long run regardless. However, it also suffered from a core disagreement about its intent--one we were both aware of and tacitly agreed to leave unacknowledged: I was looking for a romantic relationship, whereas he wanted to keep things strictly friends-with-benefits. This would come back to haunt us.

In the meantime, though, we got along extremely well both interpersonally and intimately, and we genuinely cared about each other (even if the precise nature of the affection differed). He soon became a best friend, meaning that I now had two.

That was fortuitous because my bestie and his then-girlfriend broke up around the same time that me and my new fwb got together, and in fairly short order my bestie began seeing a fellow who would prove out to be his future husband, though that development was several years away.

During the honeymoon phase of their initial relationship, my bestie was absent from both me and our wider friendgroup much more often than before, which left me feeling abandoned. I, on the one hand, knew that it was a temporary state of affairs--just the honeymoon phase--but the feeling existed regardless of its logic. Having someone else to lean on during that time was clutch.

Additionally, one of the side effects of seeing FWB was going to a lot more parties with a wider range of people. As a rule, he spent time with people he felt were interesting, regardless of whether or not he personally liked them, and his core friend group got up to a lot more in the way of traditional college partying than mine ever had.

I, by and large, ate this stuff up. I was solidly outside my comfort zone, but the experiences were enriching. These were the first times I was out in public drunk, marveling at how the lights of Cambridge warped in response to my dulled senses. They were the times I went to breakfast with a squadron of hungover comrades closer to afternoon than morning. They were the times I found myself half-naked at clubs in big grind piles of friends, wearing a short-short skirt and the laciest bustier I owned.

These are the times I think of when I think about college. The ones I wish I'd been a boy for.

Change in Living Arrangements

Meanwhile, I moved into the 7-person apartment my bestie had been living in due to my first ex and his girlfriend moving out. I took over the bedroom my bestie had occupied, while he moved into the room previously occupied by the much-disliked couple. My new bedroom had at one time been a porch, and it was directly next to the unit's furnace and AC units so it was perpetually either too hot or too cold, which meant I often left the windows open in the winter to regulate it.

There's definitely something to be said for overcrowding and having that many people jammed in together, but I was by and large happy there. We had a really good space for what we could collectively afford at the time--it was always a great party apartment--and my core group of friends all lived there, so it was nice. We called the apartment CatHaus.

#context #info #me #10s #2011 #Age 20 #relationships #college

[luxeavenger]

Im having a shit day and its only 10 AM. You dont by chance have a Backstage Pass headcanon that you want to throw out in the universe, do you? Maybe something a little Steve-centric because I have a fucking soft spot for him.

hi sweetie! i'm sorry it took me so long to answer this. i've been struggling with writer's block lately. and i'm sorry you had a crummy day. i really hope things have improved for you! <3

uhhmmmm... how about a captain america headcanon?

when steve shows him an artist's rendering of his captain america costume, bucky howls with laughter

steve spends all three fittings wondering what the fuck he'd signed up for

steve's just trying to give bucky the peace of mind of knowing he wont be getting his ass shot off

steve knows if he insists on being deployed for the remainder of his tour, bucky will be right there beside him with his stupid, stubborn, one-arm-having self

so steve lets the army make him into their pet propaganda machine, while he counts the weeks until he's free

at least the shield is cool

bucky says he comes to the fittings so he can properly tease steve about it later

but he actually comes to the fittings because he knows steve isn't super crazy about the whole captain america thing. bucky feels responsible for steve being saddled with this thing in the first place, so he's determined to keep steve company and never leaves his best friend's side

it's during these fittings is that steve starts to notice the way bucky looks at him when he thinks steve isn't looking

but steve is always looking at bucky

bucky's face wears a dark, possessive look, that makes heat roil in steve's guts

there's a part of steve that he's been compartmentalizing since they were teenagers, it's a little like lust, and a lot like love, and that look in bucky's eyes—the naked WANT steve sees reflected in the mirror—brings that barely suppressed part of him SCREAMING back to the surface

steve is scheduled on a tour around the states, a cadre of uso girls, soldiers, recruiters, and dozens of other people in tow

bucky isn't part of the tour, but he'll be damned if he's going to let steve do this alone either, so he follows the dog and pony show around in a beat up old pick up truck he bought for six hundred bucks cash, simply because the bed is long enough for bucky to stretch out and sleep

steve does all the things the army told him to do, recites all the lines they wrote for him, shakes all the hands, kisses all the babies, and smiles at all the swooning women—all while counting the days until he and bucky are free again

steve has no way of knowing that he and bucky would be a couple no more than six months down the road, or that there would never be so much as a drop of jealousy between them because their relationship was beyond rock-solid

he doesn't know any of that now, so when steve sees a few of the uso girls fawning over bucky, possessiveness kicks his heart into overdrive,and the green acid of jealousy chews angrily at his innards

bucky isn't encouraging them at all, but when he looks up and meets steve's eyes, he feels guilty anyway, shouldering past the women to offer steve the six pack of guinness he'd picked up earlier

the smile that curls over bucky's lips is just for steve, and just like that—the jealousy and possessiveness is gone. it's replaced with an explosion of butterflies fluttering through steve's stomach

the girls stand there with sour looks on their faces while steve and bucky pile into the cab of the truck and drive off

the boys don't go far, just to the outskirts of town. steve has a nine o'clock curfew, bucky thinks it's ridiculous for a grown-ass man to have such an early curfew, but it's one more thing about steve's new life that makes bucky feel guilty, so he bites his tongue

that thing between them—the thing that's a little like lust, and a lot like love—seems almost palpable when it's dark and quiet like this, when they're sharing the same air, with their superhuman heat seeping through each other's clothes, their shoulders bumping together when they bring their beers to their lips

that feeling becomes more and more real, and more difficult to ignore each time they're alone together

they sit and watch the stars come out in silence for awhile, drinking their beers and listening to mix tapes in the outdated deck of the ancient truck. it was prone to eat cassettes as often as it played them, so it was like playing russian roulette with their music

"hey pip-squeak?" bucky softly breathes into the silence, "you know i'm here for you, right? just like always."

steve nods, and polishes off his beer before speaking, "where are we gonna go, buck?" he can't hide the hope that bleeds into his voice, so he doesn't even try

these two brooklyn-born boys have never been very far from home, nor have they ever tasted much freedom

without knowing what the other is thinking, they sit, both of them picturing a nomadic life, wandering the earth, and seeing as much of it as they possibly could for as long as they possibly could

bucky shrugs, "how ‘bout california?"

steve nods slowly

it seems like a good place to start

backstage pass masterlist

#mail opened 📬 #backstage pass headcanon #backstage pass series #backstage pass!steve #backstage pass!bucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #backstage pass!captain america #stucky #backstage pass: before they were stars #how the man became the myth

[daddykohli]

you're my achilles heel

rahul kohli x gn!reader word count: 3.2k warnings: none a/n: this is shamelessly self indulgent. I wanted an rpf so I wrote one myself bc this man occupies my every thought. this is actually so ridiculously sappy, sue me. I hope you enjoy, minors DNI and please do not send this to Rahul or anyone who knows him, thanks! shout out to tswift for the title and a lyrical reference near the end of the fic.

It should have been a regular Tuesday Skype session with your friends. It was, at first, until Jon began his story about how he accidentally paid for the time of a “platonic escort” while he was visiting Korea. You’d been listening, mostly, but also stealing glances at Rahul, appreciating his laugh and his smile and the dumb little winks and faces he was making at you while your friends spoke.

Despite your best efforts, you fell hard. It could have been his face, an objectively, stupidly handsome one. It could have been the accent; the way his mouth formed around words made you shiver sometimes. It could have been your shared interests, your mutual love of video games, movies, Star Wars, football and a number of other things. It could have been his passion, his kindness, his deep capacity to love his friends and family. In reality, though, it was a mix of all of that.

After indulging, staring at him and contemplating this, you forced yourself to tune back in to the conversation. It seemed that Jon was telling your group of friends—Rahul, Jacob, Alanah and yourself—about his unfortunate trip to a whiskey bar in Korea where he'd thought he was paying for an expensive bottle of whiskey and eventually realized that he has paid for a bottle and time and conversation with a "platonic escort". You laugh along, but you were still a little lost in thought. When Rahul began to speak, your ears perked up.

"I've been this close..." he holds his thumb and forefinger a couple of inches apart. "Go on," Jon prompted.

"...to just wanting an escort to scratch my back".

Blood rushes to your ears. There were about 72 thoughts and feelings swirling through your brain. You didn't want to miss whatever he said next so when Rahul's voice continued, you quickly returned to Earth. "'Cause I love having my back scratched".

There's no excuse for what you blurt out next. But Jesus, all you could think about is some random, beautiful woman in Rahul's bed, nails running gently up and down his bare back while he sighed in contentment, eyes closed and a relieved smile on his face. It made you sick to your stomach. What you say is, brilliantly, somehow both a question and a statement. "I'll do it?" Four matching pairs of wide eyes stare at you as you manage to render the group speechless.

What followed was perhaps the longest bout of silence your group has ever experienced together.

Eventually, "we'll just...move on from that," Alanah offers brightly, bless her.

Jacob, Jon and Rahul were vehemently shaking their heads, however. You should've known none of the boys would let this go.

"No no no no no, we definitely need to unpack this," Jacob loudly protests, a delighted grin on his face.

Your face is violently red in the monitor and even if you couldn't see yourself, you'd be able to feel the heat. You're making eye contact with anyone but Rahul.

The thing is that this shouldn't be such a big deal. Your friend says he likes having his back scratched and you offered to do it. You know it is, though, because your crush is this big, ugly, looming thing in the friend group, something Jacob, Jon and Alanah have tried and tried to get you to act on or even acknowledge, but you've refused. This is the first time beyond friendly hugs and drunk group cuddles and stupid play wrestling that you've indicated that you're interested in physical contact with him. This is a development.

Lost in your own head again, it clears when you hear Rahul say, low, and gentle, "hey".

It's meant to call you to his attention and it works because it's him. You look up, and you don't know what you were expecting but it wasn't that soft, gentle expression he only pulls out when you're sad or upset or it's just the two of you. You lock eyes with him and, god, your stomach lurches because those warm brown eyes make you feel like you're home. Like you're safe and nothing in the world could bring you harm.

"Can we just forget I said this," you plead, fake nonchalance in your voice and you don't know why you're performing because these are your best friends and they know you inside and out.

"We'll talk later," Rahul replies, agreeing to drop it for now. You almost wish he'd just decided to hash it out right here in front of everyone, but as much as he likes to pretend he's this gruff, cocky guy, he's not that kind of person.

You nod in agreement and the rest of the group reluctantly returns to the conversation. You all talk for another 20 minutes or so, but it's mostly wrapping up and goodbyes because you've effectively ruined the momentum. After the call ends, you lean back in your chair, close your eyes and groan. What the fuck have you done?

__________

So you have the next hour to panic, stare at yourself in the mirror and contemplate what you've done, yell at yourself, take a nervous pee, think you may be sick from anxiety and embarrassment and pace.

What you expected after Rahul texted you "give me an hour" was that he'd call you back over Skype for your horrendously awkward conversation. What you didn't expect as you paced your living room, stressed and anxious and wearing a t-shirt and sweats and Yoshi slippers, was a knock at the door.

Your blood ran cold. This was a joke, right? The universe was delivering you a sick joke. It felt a little like a horror movie, walking to your door, knowing who was behind it. Okay, so that was a little dramatic. Still, you were so afraid that you'd ruined your friendship and just wished that you had kept your thoughts to yourself.

When you opened the door, he stood, all 6 feet and 4 inches of him, silver-streak mustache, objectively beautiful in a tight black DOOM t-shirt, gray adidas sweats and the most irritatingly lovely fucking smile on his face. Your chest actually ached with how much you loved him in that moment.

"Cute slippers," he remarks, one corner of his mouth turning up. You laugh, breaking a little of the tension and step aside so he can come in and remove his shoes. At the end of the day, he's your best friend, the person you trust most in the world, the person who playfully bullies you as much as he takes care of you when you're sad or lonely. Maybe nothing has to change. You can only hope.

You lead him to the couch and he flops down, socked feet up on the couch and your heart warms at how comfortable he is in your home, among your things. You sit at the opposite end and tuck your legs underneath you. There was never a time you wanted to have this conversation, but now that it was happening, you were going to face it head on. You steel yourself for outright rejection as he opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm just wondering how this would work. Would you stay at mine? Would you wanna...leave after? Can I take my shirt off while you're doing it? What-" he rubs his hand over his face before meeting your wide eyes once again, "what are the rules?"

You thought you'd reached your quota for shock for the day, but you should've known that if anyone was going to throw you through a loop, it'd be Rahul. Impulsive, shameless Rahul.

You realize you're gaping at him and snap your mouth closed before pursing your lips, lest you let something ridiculous slip out for the second time today.

"You...want me to scratch your back?" you finally ask. You figure that confirmation is the safest, most neutral option for the time being.

Rahul huffs and shrugs his shoulders even as he's saying, "well yeah. You offered, and it really has been in the back of my mind lately. It's hard to fall asleep without it, is the rub, and I just...really need to sleep. 'S this weird?"

Weird. He was asking you if this was weird after you'd offered to scratch his back, unprompted in front of all your mutual friends. You huff out a little laugh.

“No, not weird,” you assure him. “I guess…whatever you want? I can stay or go. I don’t mind uh-if you have your shirt off if it’s better for you like that?” What the fuck were you even saying.

“Be a bit weird if you left while I was asleep, I s’pose,” he grinned a little, nudging your slippered foot with his socked one. “I just…where does this leave us? I’m imagining it in the moment and it’s pretty fuckin’ intimate, innit”.

You nodded vehemently in agreement. “We don’t need to talk about feelings or whatever. Let’s just do what feels right, yeah?”

“Feelings,” Rahul makes a play-disgusted noise and sticks his tongue out and you giggle, relaxing into the couch. This is your best friend in the world and even if you can’t have him the way that you want him, at least you get to keep your best friend. That’s all that matters.

You gaze at each other for a moment and it feels important and heavy, like you’re talking about your feelings anyway, even though there are no words being said. You get the urge to crawl across the couch and lay on him, you know how warm and strong and safe he feels and you could really use that right now. He’s looking at you strangely, like he’d like to do the same thing.

“Empire Strikes Back?” he finally suggests, and you both shake off the heavy energy between you.

“Fuck yeah,” you reply, jumping up to go rummage for snacks in the kitchen while he grabs the remote. You can do this. You can.

——————

It’s a few weeks before it finally happens. Rahul has to leave L.A. unexpectedly to do Midnight Mass reshoots (you’ll miss the scruffy look when he finally gets his hair and beard trimmed after) and so he’s in Vancouver, too far away for your liking but so it goes being friends with an actor.

There’s a nasty little voice in the back of your mind sometimes that tells you he’ll move to Canada full time eventually and meet someone and fall and love and, well, you’re spiraling again. Get it together, you tell yourself.

You’re busy with work when you get the text that makes your heart flip with excitement and butterflies take flight in your tummy.

I’ll be home tonight. come round? You can stay over

There had been so many casual conversations s between the two of you since this had first been discussed that a part of you kind of thought it may never end up happening. Now that it was, you didn’t know how to feel. One emotion that was clear and ever present, however, was anxiety. Despite that, you had missed Rahul, quite a lot, so you jumped at the chance to see him.

Give me a time and I’ll be there, Kohli. It’s been too quiet without your big mouth around 😌

He replied moments later with a selfie with brows furrowed and his middle finger up and you cackled with delight. You couldn’t wait to see him.

------

You've already packed your overnight bag and are ready to leap into your car and make the crawling trek through L.A. traffic to get to Rahul's when you get his text that he made it home. There's always an overwhelming feeling of relief when you know he's safe and sound in his house and only a short drive away. You like knowing he's nearby.

When you show up at his house, he's freshly showered and looks like he can't even begin to try to contain the smile of excitement he has from seeing you and that's good, because you've got the same stupid grin on your face. He opens his arms and you drop your bag and half run, half jump into them. He smells delicious and familiar and you indulge for a second by burying your face in his neck. He chuckles as you nuzzle him and gives you a tight squeeze and a kiss on your hair before you put him down.

"I didn't miss you or nothin'," he states, faux bravado all over his face and you giggle.

"I didn't miss you either, obviously." He lets you in past him and grabs your overnight bag, following you inside.

There's too much to catch up on to even mention the back scratching even though it is technically the reason you're there. He's got set stories to tell, you've got silly gossip to fill him in on and you simply can't talk about video games enough. You've both devoured enough Chinese takeout to feed an army and listened patiently with as much interest as you can muster about Gundams (you think he's taking a bit of advantage of the situation actually, because usually when he tries to talk about Gundams, you shut him down and tell him that Jacob is his Gundam friend but now he's got you emotionally trapped in his home and all he wants to talk about is fucking Gundams) while he listened with the same polite interest about the teen dramas you watch when you realize it's getting late.

"Might go take a shower if you want to get settled in," you tell him, yawning.

"Yeah, go, you know where everything is. I'll clear this out," gesturing vaguely to the remnants of your dinner, "smoke, and then I'll be up".

As you grab your overnight bag and head up to his master bathroom, the nerves settle into the pit of your stomach like lead marbles. You've stayed over at Rahul's a million times, but you always slept in the guest room or on the couch if you were too drunk to climb the stairs. Knowing you were about to spend the night in his bed was something new. Exciting and mildly terrifying, but new.

You take your time in the shower under the hot spray, electing not to wash your hair, but you do wash your body with Rahul’s body wash. You always bring your own stuff but using his body wash and smelling him on yourself feels intimate and appropriate for the evening ahead. When you step out of the shower and your eyes adjust to the steam, you spot one of his T-shirts on the bathroom counter that definitely hadn’t been there when you got in. Rahul had picked out a t-shirt of his own that he wanted you to wear to sleep in. Jesus.

It was funny how things like wearing his clothes and sleeping over, things you’ve done a million times before, suddenly feel intimate and important this evening. You pull his tshirt on, reveling in how the soft, worn fabric feels against your skin and pull on a pair of cotton shorts to wear underneath. Normally you slept in underwear, but you weren’t going to make any assumptions about Rahul’s comfort level. The truth was that you were so desperate to make tonight good, or at least not a total disaster. You’d do anything to make sure everything went okay.

After doing your skin care routine and brushing your teeth, you take a deep breath before stepping out of the attached bath and into Rahul’s bedroom. He’s in bed, watching a video on his phone when he looks up and you swear you see his whole face soften at the sight of you. You’re not sure though, because he’s wearing pajama pants and no shirt, just roughly a mile of brown torso with the perfect amount of dark body hair and a hand resting on his belly. You’ve suddenly never been more ready for anything than you are right now to get your hands on him.

“C’mon then,” he encourages, finally breaking the silence and patting the bed next to him. You move toward him slowly and when you reach the bed, you climb in and unceremoniously flop down next to him on your belly.

“Christ,” he exclaims, laughing and turning his body toward you. You just look at each other for a moment, reveling in the quiet. You’re not usually this close to him, is the thing. Sure you spend a lot of time in fairly close proximity, but your face is currently inches from his and you’re realizing how big his body is. Your mouth dries up.

“Let’s turn the lights off," he says finally, getting up to hit the switch, “and we’ll just talk for a bit, yeah?”

“Cool,” you reply, though you’re feeling anything but and then the room goes dark. Not pitch black, there’s still light from the moon streaming in through the window and you watch him move back to the bed, climb in beside you.

The conversation begins to flow—you’re best friends after all—and you talk about work, your mutual friends, his flight home, the movie you watched last night. It’s almost absently that your hand reaches out to rest on the warm, bare skin of his back. His breath catches and he stumbles over his words before continuing to tell a story about some asshole he fought with on Twitter last night.

Your fingers begin to glide up and down his back, nails scratching lightly as you go. He’s laying on his stomach, head on the pillow, turned toward you and his eyes have gone half lidded and god, it’s just like you imagined. He’s got a sweet, relaxed, comfortable little smile on his face and he keeps making these little hums of contentment that you know he’d swear under oath never happened.

All the while, you keep scratching his back, slow and gentle, letting your heart warm and pretend, in this moment, that he’s yours. He gets a rather strange look on his face, opens his mouth to speak, pauses, then says, “you’re my best friend”.

Your eyes unexpectedly well up at the tender moment and it would be funny to see from an outside perspective because you and Rahul are not the sappy type. “You’re my best friend,” you reply in kind and stop your ministrations on his back just long enough to card your fingers through his thick, soft hair, making him close his eyes and push into your hand.

“Can you just,” you began, anxiety tightening your stomach,” can you just hold me,” you finish, barely above a whisper. It seems against the rules to ask something like this at full volume.

"Fuck, of course," he mumbles in response, sitting up to pull you into his embrace and, god, you never knew two people could fit so well together. You arms are around him too, so you can still scratch his back and your chin tucks perfectly over the warm skin of his bare shoulder. You turn your face into the crook of his neck, smelling the clean scent of his body wash—less concentrated than it is on you since his shower was hours ago—tobacco, a subtle but warm, comforting combination that is distinctly Rahul.

You've never felt this safe and content in your life, and if you never are again, you'll be okay with that too. Rahul is drifting off to sleep, clearly just as cozy as you, which gives you the feeling you get when you know he's home safe from a trip but multiplied by one million.

Minutes later after you've begun to drift off as well, after savoring the moment, you jump a little when you hear his voice. It's just one word, but that one word is enough to give you hope that this really is something more than what it seems on the surface. It's quiet, his voice drowsy and dreamy, but clear:

"Mine."

#rahul kohli #rahul kohli x reader #rahul kohli imagine #rahul kohli fluff