#i've been meaning to post this for soooo long oops

[afatallovesong]

you!!! write!!! so!!! well!!!!! I've come back to your writing 3 times today just because it's SO GOOD. pretty please could you do another anything of luke? ngl I'm an absolute sucker for a friends/bffs to lovers trope so that would be fantastic if you could write another. sending big waves of love your way!!!!! x

Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm honestly so grateful to anyone who reads, likes, reblogs or even requests and whatever else you do on this site. I hope you continue to enjoy my posts, thank you for being here.

Okay now for the good stuff! Soooo, I decided this was going to be a 2-part piece because I also received another Luke request and there wasn't much of a prompt with it. I also just wrote way too much for this concept, so it needed a good chop in two. Oops.

ANYWAY... I will go back and edit in the link to part 2 here when it's done. I hope you enjoy your half first though :)

Not Yours

A Luke Hemmings one shot (except not really)

18+, Smut, NSFW

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 6871

“It’s not that big of a deal, you caught me in a compromising position, we can move on now.” He’s not even blinking an eye; he’s not doing much of anything actually. Maybe it’s his years of keeping his lip tight for the sake of the band, never letting a secret spill for the gossip that would entail. He’d been working on his poker face for over 10 years, and you were ashamed to say it was working on you. You couldn’t see a single glimmer of guilt cross his chiselled features and it’s not like he should be ashamed of his sexuality, he was entitled to it as much as anyone. That wasn’t what irked you. What was bothering you, however, was that you just noticed the small smile that crept onto his lips whenever you stared at them for too long.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I caught my best friend with his dick down some poor girl’s throat.” You stood up from the chair to emphasise your frustration, how very not okay you were with the events of the previous night. You hadn’t set up a schedule for the room share, you hadn’t enforced any rules at all to prevent things like this from happening. You honestly hadn’t felt like you’d needed to. You were sharing a room with him over a long weekend. Just 3 nights and 4 days. You were actually dumb enough to think that booking a room with one 1 bed would finally be what bought you closer together, smashing the boundaries between the two of you that normal circumstances never could. You’d never anticipated those same boundaries being broken quite like this.

The image of him sat right on the edge, rutting his hips up into her mouth. You couldn’t forget it. Nor the hand he had gripping her jaw whilst simultaneously gripping the sheets on your side of the bed too. Just rubbing the material back and forth between his thumbs like a comfort blanket. He didn’t even look at her while she took him, no. His head had fallen back, face positioned towards the ceiling. His eyes clasped shut, lips barely puffing out air. He looked lost in her touch but not enough to vocalise a damn word. He was silent. Just chasing that high without any means of an end. It was unsettling. His jugular was so bare too. His Adams apple gulping down the air you failed to see him take in. Maybe he’d stolen it from you since the sight was so frustratingly breath-taking.

“You make it sound like I forced her.” His confidence wavered but only for a second, his hands fiddling with the rings on his fingers, sliding them back and forth as he fought his case and you instantly felt regretful for the way you’d phrased it. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You held your hand out steady to reassure him. You really didn’t, he wasn’t like that. Even in his hardest partying days you don’t think he could have forced anyone. One look into the salted ocean of his eyes and you’d be willing to do just about anything to stay a while, take a swim, dive in, and surround yourself in the clearness. Only because you wanted to, no other reason.

“I’m sorry. I just-.” You go to sit down beside him on the bed but think better of it. You hadn’t slept in it at all. Another reminder as to how he couldn’t convince someone to do something they hadn’t wanted to. You’d actually wanted to drop your clothes and slot beside him as if nothing had ever happened. When he’d held your hand and almost begged you to stay you nearly broke to pieces and crumbled beside him like the remnants of a midnight snack before bed. You just didn’t want to share the same bed he’d used with her. Even if that meant opting for the sofa that night and then Ashton’s bed the night after. “They’ve been cleaned you know.” He refers to the hygiene of the bedsheets beneath him. He sighs before standing up to let you sink down into the sheets in replacement of him, you now felt less ill thinking about touching them with your own palms. Even if they hadn’t been cleaned daily, did you really think he was that much of animal that he’d followed through after you witnessed him? The sheets were as pristine and unused as they were when you arrived.

“It was just a shock.” It was a shock to you to slot your key card in the door, stumbling through, shedding your boots from your ankles as you trickled in from the hotel bar. You’d held them in your hands as you walked the short hallway past the reasonably sized bathroom, towards the bedroom. You dropped them with a double thud when your eyes fell to the girl on her knees. It was a shock for a lot of reasons. 1, it meant you couldn’t move for a while, feet cemented in place, creating your own personal hell as you watched the scene play out in front of you. 2, it meant you had to announce yourself somehow or make a heady escape, but you’d doubted you were quite sober enough to retreat without making a single sound anyhow. 3, because of the impending doom of your friendship with both Luke and the others because they came as a packaged deal, nothing more and nothing less. 4, as it was only fitting to have quadruple the trauma. It meant that it hurt like hell cause you wanted nothing more than to be that girl you were referring to. To be the one taking him instead of witnessing him giving himself to someone else. That was the biggest shock. You hated that you still desperately wished it had been you.

“Can we just please forget this?” He fucked up the moment he attempted to get his kicks from someone else and it didn’t take a genius to know why. His hand wasn’t enough, the hands of the girls he chased, who also chased him, weren’t enough. Hell, maybe he was asexual or something, maybe sexual gratification just wasn’t it for him, could never fix his little problem though he’d like to argue it was actually far from little but for the sake of punishing himself further, sure, a “little “problem. But then he let his mind wander to you. If he just pictured you, imagined you, like he did that night, that night when he closed his eyes and thought of you so hard, he thought he’d summoned you there himself when he opened his eyes to the sight of you stood in the doorway. The only thing that was wrong with the scenario was that it wasn’t just a fantasy of his, you wouldn’t push her out the way and finish the job for her. You were there and you were horrified at what you’d seen. He didn’t think he’d ever have it in him to get hard again. It was what he deserved after all.

“I can take the couch tonight.” He threw his phone down onto it to show he’d claimed it for the evening. “You’re too tall for it, even I had to curl up and I’m at least 4 inches shorter. Take the bed, I’ll see about getting my own room. Maybe reception have had a cancellation or something.” You felt too guilty to ask Ashton for the second night in a row. He needed a good night’s rest more than anyone after the shows he’d played. He insisted that he hadn’t minded, that he quite enjoyed not being alone, but you couldn’t impose, especially when you felt how much he tossed, turned, and had to hold himself back from rolling into your side accidentally. Even his subconscious knew he needed the space.

“Then I’ll sleep on the floor or something.” He’s already grabbing the couch cushions, throwing them down on the lush carpet, ignoring most of what you’d just said. “Luke you really don’t have to.” He’d mess up his back if he stayed down there, you weren’t going to let that happen. “Just take the bed.” You grab his wrist to prevent any further preparations he could make. For a moment you thought you felt a static shock from the contact, you block the memory and release him. “You’re cute when you’re bossy.” He attempts a smirk; however premature it may be. “That why you test me so much?” You take over, grabbing the pillows from your side of the mattress to assemble with the others at the foot of the bed. Luke bites his tongue when he wants to say more. He instead walks towards the wardrobe vaguely remembering the sight of spare pillows and a few top sheets in case of a colder night. “Thank you.” You smile as you take them from him.

“That’s not so bad.” You clap your hands together, proud of the little bed you’d made. The couch cushions forming a makeshift mattress, the one blanket draped over as a sheet. The pillows both spare and from the bed were lay around to catch your body if you tossed and turned in the night which you definitely would be doing, you always did when you felt stressed, today was no different. The last blanket was there to cover you as a makeshift duvet. It looked like the beginnings of an excellent fort, not so much a comfortable night’s sleep but it was the best you could do in your newly found confinement. “That’s the worst arrangement I’ve ever seen.” You scowl at him, and he ignores it. He’s kneeling down, shifting the pillows already before halting his movements, retreating from the carpet as quickly as he’d crouched there in the first place. “I’ll be back in like 5 minutes.”

You stand there knowing exactly where he’s gone. He ran to the next room; you hear his heavy fists on the door through the wall. You roll your eyes at the way he runs to his friends for help at every turn. I guess they were more like brothers at this stage, but it didn’t make it any less adorable, and moderately annoying if you were being brutal, and you were. He couldn’t just solve a problem by himself, never had to. He needed the nurturing, the second, third and fourth opinions. The council of his band. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to sweep this fallout under the mat. He was trying to fix it independently without turning to them. He wasn’t even asking you if there was anything he could do, even if you wouldn’t have helped him to figure it out, he never asked you anyway. That’s all you really wanted too, to be the one he could go to, for anything, not entirely without judgement but closely enough. Before you thought about it any longer, he was back with more sheets and more pillows, nearly tripping over the fabric and his own feet to transport them to you.

You took some of the load from him immediately and he smiled at you genuinely for the first time that day. He felt like he’d earned the right to show you some more kindness and he was taking the opportunity gladly. “Okay so what’s the plan then?” You let him lead you, shaking your shoulders out, ready to out yourself to work as if this was such a strenuous task. “Okay so-“ You spent a little while pacing back and forth over the space before moving ultimately decided to deconstruct and set up camp elsewhere. The extent of the collected materials proving too large for the designated area at the end of the bed. Instead, you’d incorporated the sofa into his design, altering the original structure completely. You’d taken the sheet he’d wrangled from Michael’s linen closet, placed it over the couch and tucked it behind where it met the wall to keep it in place. You’d then draped the opposite end over the two chairs that were once beneath the desk and dressing table the hotel provided creating a roof-like effect.

Luke then moved beneath the newly erected structure, layering the pillows with some blankets to create a cushiony base large enough to be considered a twin sized bed (the best Luke could manage with the space). All before adding the couch cushions now covered in fresh sheets as a headrest for more pillows to build on top. He’d even managed to enhance the practicality of the fort so that there were a couple of free plug sockets for you to access to charge your phone and other items while you lay inside. He’d clearly had too much experience working with hotel resources when he was living in them from week to week. You felt both sad at the thought of him having to entertain himself that way but also a little jealous of the idea that he might not have been as lonely as you pictured him. You may not be the only girl he’d built a fort for. You weren’t the only girl he’d chosen to do a lot of things with. You might have been the only girl he’d really cared for though; you just didn’t really know that yet and that was hard enough. All that your new home was missing was another blanket and it didn’t surprise you when he leapt up again to scrounge one from someone else, after already bleeding them dry. You had to be a little impressed with his efforts at an apology, he’d tried so hard for you.

When he came back, he sank to his knees at the base of your little palace, sweat gathering on his brow, breath exhaling and inhaling rapidly enough that you’d thought he might pass out. “Where did you steal that one from?” Judging by the flustered look of him, he’d ran home and back. “Nearly killed housekeeping when I just about wheezed my request.” Your hand flew to your mouth to cover the snort that released itself. He’d never been happier to hear such a dorky sound shoot out of your nose. It may have been embarrassing for you, but for him it was the sweetest sound. He didn’t have a weird fetish or anything, he just knew that you had to be comfortable or really, thoroughly enjoying yourself, to let a sound like that out without wincing in shame afterwards. It meant you were relaxed with him; your walls had rained down against the ground and you weren’t fighting with him or your urge to stay composed any longer. When your tearful eyes met his, tearful with happiness and rib-aching laughter over sadness by the way, he wanted to kiss you.

You wanted to kiss him too. You didn’t. You just thanked him instead. “You might have a future in decorating Mr Hemmings.” You shuffle back under the fortress, lying yourself back, testing the comfort of the bed he’d made. You beckon him in with your finger and he gladly complies, joining you with just enough space between you to settle your hands down without them touching. “Only kid’s rooms though.” You add. “I think this is the dream house for any age.” He argues and you disagree. “For about a week until you start to get claustrophobic.” He couldn’t deny you there. He was already starting to feel it, he could have sworn it was bigger than this.

He sits himself up, looking back down towards you before sending himself out. “Well, I hope you enjoy your new home.” He shuffles on his bottom to get himself to the singular exit. He doesn’t make it very far when your soft hand traps his wrist against the cushions they still lie on. “You don’t have to go yet.” He argues. “Technically I’m not going anywhere, same room and all.” You roll your eyes; you finally show him some normality and he chose to annoy you. “Lie back down.” He doesn’t dare to escape you now. “Yes ma’am.”

He lays himself down, heart suddenly hammering when he notices you’re hand still holding onto him. He smiles to himself uncontrollably the longer it stays there, your thumb starting to stroke over his skin anxiously, further confirming that you were touching him on purpose, that it wasn’t just the accidental impulse it started out to be. “You can hold my hand you know.” His mouth feels drier than the Sahara as he says it. Probably because he had no business suggesting anything for you to do. “I don’t know where it’s been.” You couldn’t resist the dig, even if it actually churned your stomach to let it slip. It still stirred anxiety within you, the thought of him actually being with someone else. “Hilarious.” He scolds before his breath catches, your hand gently prying his fingers open to let yours slip between them like flowing silk.

“I was working up to it.” You admit, turning your head to face the side of his. He felt your gaze, but he didn’t meet it. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to hide his excitement if he did. He opted for the sheet above instead, soft, simple, and pure. Pure enough to absorb his expressions and not reflect them but conceal them instead. “Luke, I think I was jealous.” You drop the bomb on him, exploding the neutral scenario he’d created for you so painstakingly hard. He shoots to sit up, nearly deconstructing the damn thing he spent so long building in apology to you. “Well, you didn’t have to react quite like that.” You retract your hands, pulling them over your lower tummy prodding at the butterflies to quieten them down as you do damage control. “I know it's bad okay, you don’t have to say anything. I already know.” It’s a good thing you let him know because he didn’t think he had it in him to utter a single word right now. His body was short circuiting before your eyes. Jealous. Jealous of him, jealous of her, jealous of what exactly?

“I think- “You cut yourself off, to start again. “I guess I- “No, not quite right again. Maybe you should just throw caution to the wind, you’d done enough pussyfooting around.

Throw. Caution. To. The. Fucking. Wind.

“I booked a single bedded room Luke, what the fuck did you think that meant?” You didn’t think it would come out quite so aggressively, but you weren’t about to take anything back now. His wires were finally uncrossing, his head clearing, he was fully functional once more and recognising his colossal idiocy. “I’m a fucking idiot.” He doesn’t even move. He’s facing forward, palms flat against the blanket, shoulders slumped as the words sink in. “You think? I mean come on, did you think we were gonna top and tails it?” You laugh as you even mention it. “It used to be my favourite trope actually, only one bed, but I guess I see the flaws in it now.” He’s shaking his head to react to your words. “I’m so dumb.” You snort. Yeah, you said that already, you think. This time he doesn’t find your laughter so adorable, this time he hates the sound because it’s just you mocking him and although he thoroughly deserved it, he wanted, no, needed, you to shut the fuck up.

He turned himself around, sitting on his knees, facing you with all the confidence he had left. “Tell me I have another shot.” He’s looking at you and you’re looking away and he’d lift your chin to bring your attention in his direction, but he doesn’t dare overstep physically since his words were doing quite enough of that already. “Tell me I can have another chance.” You can hear his heart pounding in his chest. Good. “Or what?” He’s so close to just slamming your back down and shutting you up in every way he could. “Or I take the not-so-subtle hint,” he nearly winces as he nods towards the bed he’d stupidly ignored before finishing his sentence, “and I don’t ask again.” You know he’s not moved an inch, but it feels like his drifting from you. “I want you to ask again.” He’s about to scream with excitement. “Ask me Luke- “He’s leaning forward carefully, making no real effort to close any gap, just meeting you in the middle, the rest of the distance was yours to close. “Do I have another chance?” You’re not saying a damn thing back and the silence is deadly. “Or do I have to take it from you?” Your eyes meet his briefly before rolling back at the intensity of his words.

His hands float towards your hips, shuffling your body closer to him. You feel as though you weigh nothing at all when he lifts you with such ease. “Need your permission.” His forehead is almost leaning into yours but he’s too frightened to touch you more than he already had just in case you disappeared the moment he stepped it up a notch. Your permission is granted by a kiss to his neck. His eyes fly shut when your lips caress his skin. He never expected any of this, you both knew that he’d made it abundantly clear, but he certainly never would have thought you’d kiss his throat before you so much as pecked him on the lip. It felt like more of a punishment than anything else he’d gone through with you. Luke craved you. He’d sell his soul for a real kiss from you, in his mind he already had done because in what world did he deserve your lips trailing down his chest? The buttons of his shirt flying open without his realisation because he’s so lost in thought deciphering if he’d been imagining the whole ordeal. “Shit, Luke you’re solid.” He’s coming to his senses, his hips rocking up into your hand. The second he opened his eyes he nearly creamed his pants seeing your eyes go wide, lips wet with your salivating at the sight of his fat cock begging to be released from the confinement of his jeans.

You rub over the hardened lump with a morbid curiosity for how long it would take to get him begging you for more. You also can’t help but wonder how easy it was for his previous endeavour to get him like that. He’s pressing his crotch into your hand, his teeth nearly piercing his bottom lip as he melts under your lacklustre touch. He knows he could cum from it but that didn’t mean he couldn’t aspire for more; it wasn’t nearly enough when he knew what you could be offering him. He wants to beg you, but the hoarseness of his dry throat has him whimpering and whining gruffly instead. “I wanna see what the hype is about.” You breathe as you unbutton his jeans, the zipper falling down by itself, your brow arching in surprise. “Jeans too tight?” He curses as he’s nearly freed. Your fingers immediately prod at a peculiar wet patch in the fabric of his underwear and for a moment he wonders why the fuck you’d ever think to touch him like that until he opens his eyes to view for himself.

He’d leaked a substantial amount of precum into the grey cotton of his pants and you didn’t have to be a genius to spot it and know exactly why it was there. “Fucking kill me now.” He threw his head back, hands covering his face before you could spot the redness of his cheeks. “It’s flattering Lu, nothing to be ashamed of.” Your eyes are transfixed on the area, unfazed. “Need to get these off you.” You tug at the waistband of his jeans, wiggling it as much as you could by yourself. You pout when you can’t quite manage it. Luke peaks at you through the gaps he’d made between his fingers. His hips lifted before he even thought about it. Your pout fades, lips parting to gasp instead as not only the denim but the material beneath had slid down to his mid-thigh, leaving him completely exposed to you for the first time.

This time you have to catch your jaw, closing your mouth before you really do dribble at the size of him. His tip is blushing red, leaking with arousal so vastly, its pooling onto his stomach. He’s thicker than you thought he’d be. You knew he felt fat in your hand, but you assumed the fabric assisted the image but no, it was all him. His cock was so thick you’d never be able to take it all at once, not without training anyway. He wonders what’s going on in your beautiful little mind as you stare down at him, not moving a muscle. “Baby please.” Before he could whine much more, you outstretched your tongue to lick the liquid silver he’d left against the soft flesh of his tummy. You vibrate a moan against him at the sweet taste of him and his cock doesn’t just twitch, it practically leaps at vision of you. You’ve shocked him speechless. He starts to wonder if you intentionally avoided the places he needs you the most or if it’s all your own sick little game of revenge.

His hips lift from the floor once more and you use both hands to force him back down before you assault his pretty tip with kisses and kitten licks. You knew they did nothing but frustrate him, barely stimulating him enough to please him, but you were just getting started on this little love letter of yours. You wanted to show him all you had, let him forget anyone else who ever dared to try and compete. You licked over the sensitive little slit at the centre of his tip and he gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white and cracked from the pressure. He needed to remember how helpless you’d made him feel just then, like he could have finished instantly into your mouth.

You hummed an unidentifiable tune as you sucked the first inch of him into your mouth, moaning as an unexpected squirt of liquid shot onto your tongue, more of his early arousal. You never thought you’d ever get him this good. Not before you even took him whole. His body was practically coming alive under your touch, he’d have nothing left to give and you hadn’t even gotten halfway down his length yet. “Oh fuck.” He’s groaning desperately as you retreat from him. You remove all touch, letting his cock slap back against his stomach. He’s never felt so exposed in his life, and it was exhilarating for him. He was completely at your disposal. But you don’t leave him like that for long, even if you’d wanted to. You were about ready to hump the pillow strategically placed beneath you, you were that turned on by the idea of tasting him.

You spat in your hand and gripped the base of his cock before dragging the wetness over him, slowly mixing it with the lubricant he’d already provided. “You’re so hot.” He’s putty in your hands. You smile, not towards him, just down at his cock as you drag your hand firmly over him. You hope to create a torturous pace, nowhere near fast enough to get a release but just enough to keep his hips stuttering, tip leaking and him close to begging for your lips. You were concerned to take him whole and thankfully with your hand wrapped around him, you may not have to. Even if that were difficult for you to accept when you’d needed him so bad. You’d never felt a hunger like this before. You’d never wanted anything in your mouth as much as his cock and there was no point denying either of your urges, this was your chance.

You were so greedy as you took him in your mouth this time. Your hands fisting tightly around him, tongue slurping up his juices as you inched your way down him. “So, fucking greedy for me, fuck baby.” You dare to glance up through your lashes to see him leaning against his elbows, watching you with his jaw slack, tongue swiping over his bottom lip. The moment your eyes meet, he swears he can’t take it anymore and he pushes your head down over him. You let out a strangled moan and he panics at the sound vibrating against him, now terrified he’d hurt you, gearing himself up to pull you back where you were. You fight his hands, surprising him yet another time that evening. You force your lips down until they reach the hand you coated his base with, and he hits the back of your throat with a grunt.

The noise Luke made could be compared with one he’d release if he were punched in the chest, sounding both winded and in pain. You suck hard on as much of him as you can before pulling back and throwing yourself down again. “Shit, just like that, oh fuck, use that tongue.” He’s gripping your hair tightly in one hand and fighting himself strongly to avoid pushing you down again with the other. Instead, he tugged on your locks as a form of encouragement, and it had your stomach doing somersaults.

The noise of you slurping, choking, and gagging around him was a symphony of pleasure and he’d half the mind to record it and keep it forever if he could but he couldn’t fucking move from you if he tried. If he left you for even a millisecond, he’d never forgive himself. He was finally, exactly where he needed to be, tightly packed into your hot little mouth, his new place to call home and what a glorious home it was turning out to be. He belonged there.

Scratch everything, he previously thought about never being satisfied in bed. He’d never felt more wrong in his entire life. He would eat his words as you ate him, gulping down whatever he could give you. His cock had never been harder, never been so happy. There wasn’t a better way for him to describe it when you sucked on him like that. He had to fight himself to keep his eyes open, to remain here with you, knowing that you were everything he’d been waiting for.

You looked so gorgeous taking him too. He wanted this image tattooed on his eyelids. He felt like his cock might burst when you started rocking your own hips while you inched back and forth over him. You’d loved his cock so much you couldn’t prevent yourself from getting off over it. Right in front of him, you humped your hot little cunt into the sheets as a desperate attempt to release the growing tension between your legs. “If you don’t keep your hips still, I’m gonna cum down your throat, do you hear me?” You furrow your brows, turning your attention to his face. He’s sweating, its dripping down his cheeks so nicely you almost mistook them for tears. You can’t help but be shy about his accusations. You didn’t intend to do anything. You instinctively chased a feeling against your will and if it was anyone’s fault it was his. You were aching for him to fill something more than your mouth. No matter how good he felt pressing against the walls of your throat, no room left to breathe or utter a sound, you wanted his size elsewhere.

You continued to take him, this time consciously stilling your hips but huffing every now and then when you felt the urge to move. You may have swivelled a little, but you’d hoped he’d be kind enough to let it go amiss. You weren’t that lucky. Luke’s hands leave your hair, and you were whining without the feeling of him coaxing you on until you simply couldn’t whine anymore. His hands had slinked down to the column of your throat, linking beneath where the two of you were already connected. He applied a pressure to the edges, blindly but cautiously trying not to harm you or block your air way completely. He clamped down little by little until not a peep was heard from your perfect mouth and he used your silence to pull you down until your nose was meeting his pelvis, till he felt his own cock pulsating down your throat whilst in his hands. He let out the heaviest pants as you tried to gag around him. That’s when it hit you.

When you saw this gaping mouth, his usually light eyes darkened like the night sky, his cheeks burning hot like a furnace. You came without a single touch, a slither of friction, not even a weak attempt at conversation. As if he was in your mind, knowing what had just happened to you through some unbreakable bond, he released you from him, hands shifting to pat your head, smooth his fingers through your hair and settle you down from this insane high of yours. You choke out a moan and your head crashes against his torso. You’d never known yourself to come undone like that. You were a giver and always had been. It was no secret to you or anyone you’d fucked, just how soaked the act got you but to cum from that alone. To finish with his cock filling your mouth. You felt your cunt continually spasming.

“What the fuck?” You question yourself breathlessly, ashamed of yourself for letting your guard slip like that. It was Luke who was meant to cum first, not you. It was him who needed to know just what he’d been missing. Your body had betrayed you. It was mortifying. You hid your face to escape the mockery you knew would be coming. You were so prepared for it, so distracted from the original task at hand, you’d stopped touching him all together. If he weren’t so ridiculously in love with you, he’d be telling you to get back to it. He was so on edge it wouldn’t take more than a couple flicks of your wrist to finish him anyway. Because that, that was the most incredible thing he’d ever witnessed.

You were hiding away from him, shying away as if it were something he’d judge you for. If anything, he was blessed by it. You’d literally wanted his cock down your throat so badly you couldn’t stop yourself from finishing when you felt it there. You had fucking ruined him. He would never look at you the same way again. He’d think of this moment, the bulge in your throat when you couldn’t contain him, the tears staining your cheeks from the fullness, the hand wrapped around him tight like a vice because you had to just touch him with more than just your mouth. He adored you so much you’d never, ever understand just how much.

Luke nudges you gently, hand slipping under your chin, lifting you up, the rest of your body deciding to go with it. Your red and puffy eyes meet his pathetically. “Gotta let me take you baby.” You find yourself nodding, even if you didn’t really know what he meant. He had been taking you. He’d had your mind, body, and soul, what more could there be? “Gotta get these clothes off for me.” His hands stroke over your shoulders, still coated in a t-shirt now dampened with sweat. You nod lazily before reaching for the hem to grip onto and lift. “Wait.” He pushes his forehead against yours, hands preventing yours from following his instruction. “Can I kiss you?” You stare dumbfounded. You’d done a lot more than kiss him now and yet he still had to ask. “Taste like you though.” You mutter. “Think I can live with that.”

His kiss breathes life back into your aching form. You feel like you can straighten your back again, sit tall, sit confidently without gripping his thighs for support. Luke kisses you slowly, not slow in a disappointing manner, not too vanilla to take away from the passion of the moment. It’s just pleasantly slow, soft, and serene. His lips feel nice. You decide you quite like the plumpness of his bottom lip in comparison with the sharpness of his top. You sink into his mouth, hand cupping his cheek as you glide your own over his.

His hands wander to your waist, grabbing a handful of flesh before fleeing further south. Your tongue licks a stripe over his bottom lip which he takes as a sign to part them. You slip your tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth, and he tastes himself with a whimper. His palms smack down on your ass hard enough to echo it like the sound of a cracking whip. The erotic sounds of your tongues dancing with each other should put you off but it just doesn’t. The wetness is invited, the warmth is accepted, the sensation had your hips rolling again and God there must be something wrong with you. You couldn’t fill your void with enough of him. He just smiled into your kiss because he’d felt exactly the same way.

“Gotta- “he tugs your shirt, “take- “lifting it clumsily above your hips between kisses, “your- “you start to feel the coolness of the exposure as it climbs higher, “these- “it’s becoming an unbearable taunt, “fucking clothes off.” He pulls back to watch you discard the material as fast as you could so you can throw yourself into his lap. He’s halfway through removing the remainder of his jeans when you start to remember the rest of you is also still clothed.

You both fumble to remove your trousers and any other barriers separating you from each other. You don’t have a single drop of energy left to allow yourself to feel self-conscious when his eyes wrack over your body. It’s hard to feel anything other than perfect when his top responses are to wrap his own hand around his cock and suck his bottom lip between his teeth. “You’re so pretty Luke.” You sigh and he whines, gripping himself just that little bit tighter at the tone of innocence in your voice. “Yeah?” You nod in confirmation before flicking his hand away, replacing it with your own. He fucks up into your hand unabashedly, too swept away to care, too comfortable with you to reconsider the impulse.

“Need you to touch me.” You mewl, swiping your thumb over the throbbing head of him similarly to how you did it with your tongue before. “Where baby?” He knows exactly where. “Touch you where?” He needs to hear it; he’s vibrating just considering it. “You know where.” You match him. “No, no, gotta tell me.” You slow your movements, hand loosening around his cock causing his smile to falter. “Where do you need me?” You curse him. “You fucking know where.” You glare at him before you lie yourself down, arms crossing over your bare chest, sick of how ridiculously needy you were that you would put up with this childishness for the sake of another orgasm.

“How can I know I’m right if you don’t tell me?” His fingers have moved to your hip as he lay on his side, watching you closely, walking his fingers over your scorching hot skin. “Playing games now baby?” You pout towards him in a final attempt to win him over. You could just kill him for giving you as much of a fight as you did him. The two of you too stubborn for your own good.

“Where do you want me?” He asks again, voice shifting, dripping with a power that had you weak. “Same place I’ve always wanted you.” You soften your tone to reel him in and for a moment he believes he’ll never win this fight. Then you speak again. “My pussy, need you inside me, please Lu, please baby, waited so long.” You plead for your life. His cock is actually hurting it’s so fucking tight and hard right now. “Your pussy?” He offers as a question, and you hardly notice it until he speaks again.

His hand slips between your legs, swiping his index finger through the hot, sticky mess made between your thighs. “You think this is yours?” He continues to pry. “It’s not yours babe.” You open your mouth to ask what he’s alluding to, but he silences you, slipping a finger into your hot cunt, you clamping down on him immediately. “Not yours baby, your pussy’s fucking mine.” The noise you made was unholy but the look he gave you even more so. “See,” he coos, “you know it too, bucking up into my hand like that, such a good girl for me.” Unsurprisingly to you, that simple term of endearment, that affectionate little name, is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Any morsel of self-respect you’d ever had left was fucking desecrated. “Spread your legs for me angel.”

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5sos one shot #5sos luke #5sos luke smut #5sos luke imagine #5sos luke fic #5sos luke hemmings #luke 5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings oneshot #luke hemmings fanfiction #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings 5sos

[astorichan]

soooo like bug romance right?

I have literally never thought of bug game in romantic terms, especially not between the higher beings

It’s always been a lot of…familial bonds, and how they’re messed with/exploited

But

you seem to have bug romance on the brain

and I wanna know

I wanna know how that recontextualizes this game

please

I’m so sorry for bothering you so much your rambles are just so cool

bug romance hehehehe

i kind of went in with the same view: came for the sibling dynamics between Hollow & Ghost (mainly) + Hollow & PK family dynamics. Then I happened upon a single line in another fic that ripped my heart out and sent me into a recontextualisation night-long spiral. (misread the tags on it, oop) The line was "And it felt terribly alone without her." Hollow @ Radi.

So yeah, that was the first ship I got into. It resonated with me very hard due to some history, so I was able to really... care about it and the dynamics at play. (my aro ass needs to get very invested to ship characters lol)

BUT enough intro, let me actually ramble:

RadiHollow is the first of my two ships. It's based on several factors, first of them being that those two spent an indefinite (I personally headcanon 300-400 years) amount of time completely isolated from the world. Alone with only each other for company. We know that Radi is horrible at loneliness, her history/the entire thing with Higher Beings requiring worship to live alludes to it a lot: the whole reason the infection broke out was that she'd been forgotten by the moths. Left behind. Left alone. The next factors are my own view of their characters. Radi as I write her is an extremely self-centered person, incapable of ever admitting any fault, incapable of ever being wrong, incapable of ever not being in control. She's manipulative and very emotionally abusive in an... insidious, "you just can't appreciate my love", way. So not "hehe torture fun". Hollow is someone who never viewed themself as a real person. Their feelings, wants, thoughts are not important. They have not experienced kindness for who they were. They also tend to blame themself for anything bad that happens. Couple those two in complete isolation (which, isolation is one of the first steps an abuser will take to gain control over their victim), with Radi showing Hollow genuine kindness despite their failure, despite them being her enemy, despite everything. She has an "I will fix you" mentality; she sees them as a poor, downtrodden person who only needs to be loved enough to fall on her side. To see that she was right all along. They hate each other, of course. They want to watch each other burn. They want to burn together. Radi wants to enter the new dawn together with them. They want to go down in flames together with her. They hate her, but the kindness makes it hard to only hate her. She hates them, but their empathy and responsiveness, their presence and pushback make it hard to only hate them.

Grollow is the second one, and it has direct relation to all the stuff I've said up there. I headcanon Grimm and Radi as siblings (""? as much as beings of pure magic can be siblings. their relationship is definitely familial), which means that Grimm is very intimately familiar with all of Radi's antics: the gaslighting, the manipulation, the blame-everyone-around, the disregard for his feelings, the blindness to what her love does to him. He's someone that understands Hollow, post-Radi. He's someone that knows what they've gone through. He's someone who's had similar experiences and had time to heal from them. He's someone who hates watching them suffer at her hands. And he's someone who sees them for the absolute mess that they are, knows most of what Radi could've done to them mentally and is willing to stay by their side. And somewhere along the way, they fall for each other. Somewhere along the way, Hollow grows comfortable with showing themself, with being themself. They stop clinging to their history with Radi, they grow past their (frankly, awful) learned responses. They realise just how much he's done for them, and they want to be the best version of themself, to be his support - if he will let them. He draws out the best in them. They draw out the best in him. They're mirrors of each other. They're pillars of support for one another. They're both willing to do anything for each other. Even if that anything is growing past spiteful pride and unwillingness to admit to fault. Even if that anything is opening up your heart to a potential knife, dropping a mask of playfulness and detachment, showing the vulnerable skin underneath.

My two ships. Proudly waving them around. There's more stuff to Grollow, namely PVxGrimm pairing (so, pre-Temple). Moon expands on that a bit (I think it's in the already posted chapter, even) and Dreams has it because of shared interests, shared character traits and, again, Grimm's unwillingness to coddle them or evade them for any reason. Means a lot to them.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SORRY don't you sorry me /lh I'm so glad for the opportunities to talk about my stuff. I love sharing my thoughts, headcanons, anything connected to the creative process honestly. It's a special kind of heartwarming. So no sorry, thank you for asking!

#answered asks #the-moth-from-elsewhere #i love rambling about stuff #grollow #radihollow #hk headcanons #these are so fun #there's a T rated fic i have for RadiHollow (Dreamsverse) if you want a closer look at that #name me a bird #my beloved babies #youre doing a lot for my muse lately sdfgfdsg thank you

[c2-eh]

*pokes head out of hole for affection* 💌

(mutuals send me a 💌 and i will tell you all the reasons i love you)

hi wifeyy <33

i don't really know where to start this one, because there is a lot i love about you ngl. i've been sitting on this for about 20 minutes, because i don't wanna miss anything but let's get started.

i still remember (and i told you that already but sh) when we weren't talking and i always saw you reblogging my posts with the most hilarious tags. or serious and very clever ones and i wondered who the hell is this person i wanna get to know them. and then you put the most outrageous thing there and i was like NOT ON MY WATCH. guess that's what started our journey.

i love how kind, friendly and nice you are to everyone, but also a little menace that will leash out when you see something you don't like (or just for no reason at all). you always find a time to ask me how i am, what's new or anything, really. you care and that warms my little heart every time. you listen to me ramble about stupid, silly or delusional topics, but also never run away when i need someone to talk about serious stuff too. you always give me a word of advice and even if you don't have one, you try to cheer me up. that means a world to me and i appreciate it a lot. i should tell you that more often.

you're my partner in doing crimes (subtle crimes... or i think they were lol). you make me feel safe and i know i can trust you, because you are my friend and lovely person to be around.

i love your humour. it's unique, but also corny at times, which is the best combination ever. you made me laugh probably billion times, since we started talking and it's always with something new. be it a meme, joke, you being dramatic, me being dramatic and you making fun of me. name it, it probably happened.

your comments on my fics were my lifeline back when we didn't talk. you always had the nicest words for me and i still cling onto them when i wanna cheer myself up. i miss it lol.

i value your opinion a lot, because you're so smart and intelligent. you study and tutor and help people around you. you work so hard and do so much for others without expecting anything back, which is a proof you have pure and big heart.

your writing is so good and i love to read everything you write. you really are talented! and your web weaves are also soooo good i love them!

you. are. phenomenal. singer. i cannot even find words. when i first listened to you singing opera i ascended to heaven. you have a voice of an angel and i am your biggest fan !

okay this is getting too long oops sorry. i hope everything in your life turns out perfect. you're a strong woman that is going through life like a champ, no matter what it throws in your way. i hope you're always happy and i love you so much. mwah <3

#chubbs loml <3 #i forgot that this is your tag on my blog heh cute

[quinnthebard]

WIP ask game <3

In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Thank you @did-you-reboot for the tag! (and terribly sorry for the HUGE delay)

I didn't think I had that many wips and now I've opened my scriv folder and I am horrified soooo, let's take a look beneath the cut lmao

anything you can do (I can do better) Gale / Tav BG3 fic one shot collection document. I technically posted one of the things in there on AO3 but the plan was to just post little snips of their nonsense because I think Gale is neat lol

Eclipse Sequel pretty self explanatory, the sequel to my WolElidibus fic that I don't even think I really started? Let me open and... There's two paragraphs? More than I expected tbh lol

Eminne Fic also pretty self explanatory. I wanted to write a Wol/Estinien fic for one of my alts but I didn't do much with it. I occasionally open it when I do have an idea but it's pretty bare

Estinien gets plowed by catboy G'raha / Estinien NSFW pwp. Yep.

Heartless The original file for my entirely original fantasy book I started. It's been since abandoned and replaced with a different scriv file.

Home I honestly don't know if I posted this anywhere. It's a WoL/G'raha one-shot that's mostly Q'wynn contemplating what home means for her. I don't remember writing this at all lmao

like the dawn 8th Umbral Calamity AU where the Ironworks failed to wake G'raha and he only did so himself much later in the timeline. Reincarnation / obviously canon divergent and Wol/G'raha. The first few chapters are on AO3 but this gets updated very sporadically oops

nald'thal I think this was meant to be nald'thal smut. I'm too scared to look.

original fiction maybe not the document I mentioned under Heartless. I don't know what this is lmao Rolan is neat Rolan / Tav fic dump where I just put ideas I have for shippy nonsense between him and Zapheria, one of my OCs lmao

Siren's Lament Actually titled Siren Song on AO3. Still a WIP. I have a lot written but not edited and real life has been a bitch so it hasn't been touched in a long time and I FEEL BAD

Stone, a working title The ACTUAL document for that original fantasy book I started writing.

tomorrow and tomorrow, evermore A post Endwalker fic that was just supposed to be cutesy and my version of the post expac content. Some is on AO3, I haven't looked at it in a long tiiiiiime

#personal #writing #my shame lmao

[kyooongie]

Sorry it took me a few days to respond I got swamped with uni work (swamped meaning I neglected my assignments in favor of reading bbh fics and being on twitter and then school caught up with me) but GOD talking with you is so nice, you're saying everything I've been thinking recently about fics T^T I know exactly what vibe of fics you're talking about, those kinds of fics stay with me and affect me for a while because of how good the writing is, "real stories" is a great way to describe it. I love those ugh I'm not kidding I've been thinking in my mind for like a year or two that I wish people would write some of those kinds of beautiful fics for bbh on here again. I pretty much gave up hope though because exo tumblr writers in general are few and far between, and exo tumblr writers who do series or longer works are pretty much non existent nowadays.. And I feel like these kinds of fics aren't usually requested, more like the authors just come up with the idea for it, at least I think? Anyway hearing you say that you're planning on doing that kind of special gorgeous/longer/ao3 type fic for baekhyun literally made my entire year ngl :') I'm definitely looking forward to whenever you post them!!!!! Like so so much!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure I'll eat it right up. Finally some good fucking food for bbh fans LOL you're doing god's work fr fr ily.. Omg I have a rule of not reading incomplete fics too because if an author discontinues a fic or goes MIA it's too much for my poor heart ahah also I try not to read long fics that end in heartbreak/angst. I get too depressed like let me be happy and end up with my kyoongie baby pls omg... I read felon two years ago by accident because I saw it had so many parts so I thought it was complete so I read it OTL it's so incredible though so I can't even mind that it's without updates. I believe the author said last fall that she wanted to finish it before the end of 2022, so maybe hopefully we'll get an update this year instead, I'm manifesting it!

omg i can relate im soooo behind on readings fgdshjfdks AND IM AN ENGLISH/HISTORY MAJOR SO ITS BAD T__T baekhyun fics are just way better to read like im sorry...... also i keep staying up really late reading them/writing them and then missing my 8am oops

thanks for looking forward to my work omg!! i hope it doesnt disappoint xx im working on a long one but im thinking about putting out some short ones in the mean time bc i have SO many reqs waiting to be filled haha. i havent written fanfic since i was like 14 (lol) so it might take some getting used to.. hopefully my first attempts arent too horrible ;__ ; i do have a couple more ideas for long fics too hehe just trying to juggle school and friends and everything too so i dont have as much time as id like to write :-(

i will manifest a felon update too.. hopefully our combined psychic powers make it happen !!

#love u anon #ur the bestest #<3 #olive #ask

[dearestgojo]

Oop I had to pull out my tablet for this lmao

First of all, for obvious reasons, I am extremely upset. Who wouldn't be after that?

Second of all, I'm super happy with part 4 because this just solidifies my theory that MC doesn't love Iwa anymore and is lying to herself about her feelings AND Iwa is the one who is not willing to let her go (this is where `'I don't think I love you anymore comes in', she stays only because he tells her he loves her). In part I understand her because she's waited for him so they can be together without the long distance and I feel like she doesn't want to feel like she wasted time waiting when she could have given herself the chance to be with someone else. So, I guess I can understand that part but miss girl needs to leave like yesterday.

'So why did your heart no longer flutter when his name lights up your phone. What was the dissatisfied feeling in the pit of your stomach everytime Hajime crossed your mind? You push the doubts out of your mind. No, you loved Hajime and your love deserved a second chance.Two years couldn’t be erased liked that just because of a stupid mistake he made while drunk.'  THIS THIS THIS IS EVERYTHING! I know she's been lying to herself since this moment. They SHOULD have stayed broken up. I know from this moment on is when she created a wall between them and maybe she didn't mean to but she did. Maybe she was unconsciously trying to protect her heart. Regardless, I know she's been lying to herself and is still doing it. Miss girl please remember what the fortune teller told you!!! First loves don't always mean forever.

And girl, not Iwa almost punching Atsumu. Like calm down you're projecting and thinking shes cheating to hide the fact that you're the one doing it. Also, Atsumu with the best comebacks lmao.

That whole fight scene made me soooo mad because Iwa walked out. It's a common occurrence with him and that just shows he really isn't trying. How do you walk out on a fight? especially if your girl is sick like damn have some decency. The worst part was finding out where he went but I wasn't surprised. What did surprise me was this 'He wants her to warm up the coldness that comes with you lately. He wants to forget you for a moment. He wants to feel warm instead of the usual coldness he feels lately around you. He wants to go back to a time where you looked at him with a warm expression'. I know he does love MC but I wasn't sure how much because from previous parts, he was talking about Grace in his sleep so I thought he loved Grace instead of MC. But I'm glad he still loves her because I know he's gonna suffer when she leaves him and that fills me with joy (it's a win for my petty heart). I'm also kind of convinced that Iwa keeps Grace as a backup when things eventually fall apart. Speaking of Grace, she's delusional. Like girl how do you expect to be treated if you're the side piece? And Iwa just told you he loves MC so how much more dignity do you have left? He's not gonna leave her because cheaters usually never do until they are the ones who are left behind. There's really no happy ending for Grace and Iwa (hopefully because they they deserve it).

This is such a win for my boy Atsumu. 'A comfortable silence follows your answer as you both eat the desserts on the table. It’s as calming as the day that lies outside the window of the cafe. It had been a while since you felt this comfortable with someone. There was a time when you and Hajime would have moments like this, where the silence between the two of you had comfort come along with it.' I know you said there will be a surprise with 4 characters and I've been breaking my back trying to figure it out lmao. Either way, I love Atsumu now and I hope she confides in him (something about him just soothes my hurt heart).

Honestly, at this point, I think they're together por costumbre ( Alexa play Costumbres by Rocio Durcal). There's really no love there from her anymore even if she stays. What they have is the allusion of love and I'm sure they're both too scared to leave and it's why they don't. I'm hoping she finds out he's cheating soon.

Anyways, you should expect these asks from me every Saturday when you post, I I so invested in this. Thank you so much for updating!! I really appreciate it and you <3 This is such a MASTERPIECE!!

I'll be looking forward to them 💕

I think the best way to describe what Iwa feels infatuation. He gets infatuated easily and that's really the only reason he keeps cheating...

I don't think anyone will see it coming, but I've left extremely subtle clues in parts 3 and 4. I'll give you some clues on where to look. The arcade and dinner scenes from part 3 and the smut scene from part 4.

If you get it I'll probably won't answer it because spoilers lol.

#✉.before love came to kill us #✉.asks #��. September-Sunsets

[cosmojjong]

Hi! Hope you are doing well ✨

For the kpop group thing aespa and stray kids 👀

hey lovely! i hope you've been doing alright too, thanks for sending this in <3

i'll add a keep reading so there won't be a long post on the dash;

aespa

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to | no (it's a bit hard to define whether i stan but i've been keeping up with them a lot lately!)

if i’m familiar with them

my bias + bias wrecker*: giselle and honestly they're all great!

first time i heard of them: pre-debut, i think we all pretty much did hsjsh

when i became a fan: black mamba intrigued me a lot despite hearing a lot of mixed reviews about it but next level did it for me even more!

favorite (and least favorite) title track: they don't have much out there but i think black mamba is still my favorite title track!

favorite (and least favorite) b-side: oops nothing here, but i hope they'll be able to release a lot of music and not end up on the shelf like every single sm gg which is so sad

favorite (and least favorite) mv: next level mv

favorite (and least favorite) album: x

a concept i wished they’d try*: i'm not sure yet as they're a fresh rookie group, but i like the direction they've taken so far

what i like most about them*: they're soooo cool and their mvs/concept pics so far have looked so pretty and unreal. initially i was a bit meh about the whole æ-members and the al technology (i still am to be honest), i hope their career won't revolve too much around them. overall, i think they can do great things and have a lot of potential, so i'm curious

stray kids

do i already stan them? yes | only for the music | attempting to | no (i put no because i don't at the moment, but i was actually super hyped and couldn't wait for their debut - i liked them a lot between 2017/2018... eventually that period of time only held bad memories for me so i drifted away from them :/ also their music changed drastically a bit after debut imo so i didn't really vibe with it anymore, but it's a personal taste of course! also still a bit confused on what happened with bangchan and the ca, so it all was a recipe for me to let go;;)

if i’m familiar with them

my bias + bias wrecker*: i don't really have either but well, i used to like bangchan and woojin (the latter... well... meh) - gosh about chan, i even remember that before their debut we had very little info about them and i thought his name was byungchan and later on he probably dissed me in that one track jshf

first time i heard of them: pre-debut, i think if i was to elaborate this would get really long but i watched their survival show as it aired so basically that!

when i became a fan: hellevator release!

*since i haven't listened in a bit i'll pick favorites only if you don't mind, because my memory's bad lol

favorite (and least favorite) title track: i think my pace or i am you; i think both songs really spoke to me when i was having a hard time! i am you reminds me of jjong a lot, what a sweet song. idk about least favorite one because i haven't listened in a bit but i remember not particularly liking their latest ones

favorite (and least favorite) b-side: insomnia! when i first listened to it i was like 'oh, i felt this one', i still think it's a great song

favorite (and least favorite) mv: oof i can't tell, i think 'get cool' and 'miroh' mvs are cool mvs though!!

favorite (and least favorite) album: their pre-debut mixtape >>>>

a concept i wished they’d try*: i can't really tell, i can't imagine them doing anything else other than what they've been doing. maybe it sounds a bit incoherent on my side ;_; i don't vibe with their concepts but at the same time i can't say they're doing bad, does it make sense? they know what they're doing and they do it well

what i like most about them*: their not being afraid of experimenting

sorry that this got so long and hopefully none of the things i said sounded mean or offensive or sad;; thank you again!

#ask #jjongosaurus

[ultrahamilham]

You tagged me in a thing and I had a stroke, bless you

I get all Pikachu meme whenever I see you in my dash and you've referred to me and acknowledged my existence because it is literally the best thing ever, I have a mini stroke every time

Three ships: Jamilton, Jamilams and Jamilmads (would've said lams but then it just sounds like I'm saying the same ship in three different ways lol)

Last song: Uhh, I don't listen to music much, but Ultimately by Khai dreams

Last movie: The Hunchback of Notre dame

Currently craving: Sushi, oddly enough (I haven't had it in about nine years but still, want)

Currently reading: The Da Vinci code, and about five different fanfictions

About a very late answer to your question (My family has COVID, which is shocking to hear, or so I'm told, but they're recovering and they fortunately had a mild case and no one has any history of disease so they're going to be okay! That's what the doctor said and I'm praying), Taco hell made me laugh really hard when I read it and really lifted my spirits because I remember being in not a great place when I started it but it made me smile which was like, a thing for me, and don't judge me but I think The three way was probably my favourite and I don't want to think about what that says about me but it was really because I love works that are that long (around 50k is always my sweet spot). I'm not sure if I'm remembering right and I'm so so sorry if I'm getting the title song wrong but that one Jamilton fic with uh, Gucci and fendi in the title was really fun to read ;-;

I also remeber the first work of yours I ever read was this comfort Whamilton around 1.5 or 2k where it starts raining and Alexander is on edge but George comforts him- Okay, I'm ranting now, apologies. ;-; (idk You're super cool and I want to talk to you like, normally, but you'll hateee me and I don't want that and so here)

I never really get a chance to respond as soon as I'd like, BUT I never get to and if you don't want to know/care about my life- please skip to the next paragraph thank you. So, I did end up watching Snowpiercer! I watched all ten episodes in one day which is iffy to say the least, but I'm still alive! I did love it. And I've been alright- a bit anxious with everything, but I've been giving my tests and uni and stuff. Yesterday, I was about to go to the vet when u realised about two minutes into the ride that I forgot my dog so that was embarrassing. Almost competing with the time I dropped my phone and then followed it, dropping to my knees and immediately bursting into tears (Nothing even happened to my phone!). So if you read this, thank you again.

I wanted to ask how you were doing too! If you don't mind xxx

And as for the fanfic writer asks, would you mind answering 50 ;-;

Wgjfvqkcwkh also I heard about you and Henni getting married so CONGRATULATIONS that is the most amazing, sweetest thing and in honestly so f*cking happy for both of you. I audibly awwed when I saw that post and I can't believe I just remembered.

I'm so sorry this got out of hand with how long it is, I didn't mean for it to be ;-;

-shy anon, sincerely apologising for possibly ruining your day by oversharing and/or overstepping (also with love and congratulations for you and her)

I get the surprised pikachu face whenever you show up in my ask box ;-; It always makes me happy!!!

Okay but sushi is always good. The craving comes randomly for me as well. I didn’t crave it at all when I used to make it for a living, because I got so tired of it, but now I crave it every once in a while lol it’s really good ;-;

I really hope everyone is doing okay! COVID is scary and it’s no joke. Having it before was horrible for me and I would never wish it on anyone. I hope everyone including you is okay ;-;

I’m glad Taco Hell did what I was meaning for it to do! It’s meant to be lighthearted and make people laugh. It’s based off of my life and it’s actual situations I end up in all the time. It’s quite amusing lol

I would never judge you. The Three Way is literally the one fic I am most proud of. I could never judge you. I literally go back and read it every once in a while and go like “I made that... Holy fuck...”

Oh! Gucci Not Fendi is the title. I’m glad you liked it!!!

Rant all you want! I adore that Whamilton fic ;-;

Seriously, my dear, I can promise you that I won’t hate you at all. Believe me, I really won’t. I’m probably the most awkward and annoying person anyone will ever know and I overshare like everything. People know more about me than they really should.. Lol

I care about your life, I was the one that asked you to tell me! But honestly, snowpiercer was soooo good... Like I tried to binge it all in one day but I was trying to write as well and it didn’t go over well lmao, snowpiercer ended up winning! I’m really glad you watched it!!!

That whole forgetting your dog thing is a mood. Today I forgot to turn on the food heaters and I realized it right before it was too late. Almost lost $200 worth of meat... Oops... Lmao

I do that with my phone if I drop it even if it’s okay. I just freak the fuck out and cry before I know if there really is an issue

Also I’m doing good! I decided to just lay back and relax tonight so I’m having a few drinks and I’m gonna watch random shit lol I was up for 33 hours the night before last and slept for 15 hours after. I can’t recommend doing that, especially not when you’re like 24. I’m too old for that shit.

Hell yeah I can do 50! I will give you a sneak peak at the 3rd part of the three way... .-. It will be posted on Oct 19th!!!

Here it is. This is seriously NSFW lol:

Alexander looked down at Thomas and ran the fingers of his free hand through Thomas' hair. He licked his lips as he watched Thomas work his tongue expertly inside George. "You're such a good boy Thomas, you're already wrecking him." He purred. 

Thomas let out a low moan and kept up the work, getting a little more aggressive. Alexander could feel himself getting hard in his pants at the sight coupled with George's shameless moans. Alexander looked back at George's face and grinned a bit. "Are you proud of us, Daddy?" He asked. 

George pressed his forehead against the headrest and panted as Thomas wrecked him. He tried to push back against Thomas to no avail. "Fuck… Y-yes… Yes you two did so good… Please… Please do as you wish… Whatever you choose, do it… I will take whatever you give me, you de-deserve it…" George bit out desperately.

Alexander grinned in delight at that. He looked at Thomas who looked just as excited from what George just said. He then touched Thomas' shoulder. "Alright, that's enough babe. I'm going to stretch him, then we can give him a good spanking. Why don't you undress for me? I have a little treat for you." He purred.  -END of the preview.

Thank you so much! We are so freaking happy that it’s happening. We were planning it more today! It’s so amazing ugh.

I appreciate it all the same! It’s not too long for me at all!! Don’t you worry my dear <3 you didn’t overstep at all!

#shy anon #sweet bean

[straykidshooo]

Is this the right place to post on? I hope so lol I've never posted, so welcome to my first post I guess! XD.

I want to talk about some of my most favourite kpop songs ever. I've obviously shortened it alot otherwise this post will be too long. Also, this is in no particular order, it's just numbered so it's easier for me to keep track of ^^

1. (G)I-DLE - LATATA

I'm still in love with this song, it never gets boring. It's been two years and every time I listen its still the same feeling I felt when I clicked it for the very first time. Its probably one of my most favourite (G)I-DLE songs ever tbh lol.

2. Stray Kids- MIROH

I'm soooo in love with this song. This song made me a fan of stray kids. The rap parts are 🔥. The song will always be special to me because it helped me alot uwu

3. MONSTA X- RUSH

Ahh this song, it has a great vibe to it and I love the music video especially when Joohoney has a sponge and rubs Chang-kyuns face with it ahah and Wonho when he cried into the bag of tortilla chips. Who else is still sad about Wonho's departure from the group? Its kinda hard to make me cry but I'm telling you I cried my eyes out when I read that article, I couldnt believe what I was reading. Monsta X is one of my most favourite groups ever (I'm a multifandom kpop fan) and I was really in love with their music and how happy the boys made me so it broke my heart when he left :'(

4. CLC- Hobgoblin

The beat is so catchy its hard to not like this song imo. Especially the chorus it's a really upbeat song. CLC have such quality music in general it's sad that they aren't recognised as much.

5. 4 Minute- Crazy

This song makes me dance like crazy. So me and my friends actually attempted to dance to this song in a really cramped tent (we went camping XD) and we were trying so hard not to hit each other XD. We were so tired the next morning but it was soooo worth it lmao, its a great party song. Those were the times before this virus, i wish I could go back in time :')

6. BLACKPINK- See you later

One of BLACKPINK's best songs imo. I really liked the square up album tbh. I remember being really exited for its release lol. The song is catchy and the instrumental is really good. I love the lyrics in this song, they were really iconic, like Lisa's "Woulda, coulda, shoulda, didnt", when Rosè said"See you later maybe never" and my ultamite favorite "Pedal to the metal like-". So for me, when they said those things it made it really catchy and enjoyable, I love this song alot uwu.

7. After School- Virgin

This song is the most beautiful thing ever, I feel so nostalgic listening to it and it means alot to me. I'm listening to it while writing this now ahaha XD. But really tho, it's one of the best kpop songs I've heard so far, I'm really in love with this song. I'm not a fan of the whole graduating thing after school does because I can't really handle member change ups tbh, but they have great songs. I'm sad they aren't as active anymore.

8. NCT 127- LIMITLESS

Another nostalgic song, the feeling I get while listening to this is strange and kinda emotional, but a nice feeling?. I love NCT music in general and all the sub units, there is something about their songs I can't describe lmao.

9. 2NE1- It's Gotta Be You

Damn I love it, so beautiful UWU

I miss them so much :')

Don't mind me, I'm just a sad blackjack :')

10. MONSTA X- FALLIN'/Heavy Rain

Even tho this isn't being ranked, I might have saved the best for last oops lol. I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS SONG aaaaaaahhhh. Like seriously, that drop hits HARD. You can tell my love for this song is big lmao.

🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺🔺

Well that's it, sorry if this is boring but I really didn't know what to post and I stan way to many groups that if I put in all my favourite songs from every single group I like, the list would be loooonnggg :D.

Bye.

#Kpop #Blackpink #Nct #GIDLE #4minute #Clc #Music #StrayKids #MONSTAX #Favourites #2ne1

[mvsas]

Flora's Chat, April 21, 2005 (4Kidz).

Host says: Good day everyone. Welcome to our second celeb chat session. This time around we have Flora from the Winx Club joining us.

Host says: Flora is here, she's just sitting down with her tea.

Host says: And here she is!

Host says: Welcome Flora.

Flora says: Hello!

Flora says: *Flora smiles waves hello

Host says: We're excited to have you here.

Host says: So I'll open the floor to questions.

Flora says: Thank you!

Winx_girl44 says: Hi Flora I have a question, why don't you have a boyfriend

Flora says: Ummm... (blushing) I guess the right guy just hasn't come along yet!

mg_winxclub says: Hi Flora! I'm your biggest fan! I have to ask you, what's your favorite flower scent?

Flora says: Hi -- ummm, well I really love jasmine, and plumeria

WinxGirl99 says: Flora, i see you have a tulip icon next to your name... What is your favorite flower?

Flora says: I really love gerbera daisies, and I love indigo moon blooms

Flora says: But really, I love all flowers

Queen Renee` Bridget 7891 says: Are you to be queen when you get 20?

Flora says: No -- I am a princess, but my parents still rule the realm.

Flora says: I hope they'll be there long after I turn 20

cutiepieangel_06 says: Flora who do u think is your best friend?

Flora says: Ummm.. well, I can't really pick a favorite -- I like all the girls of the Winx Club

Flora says: I room with Bloom though, so we might be a smige closer

winxNwitches says: Flora what witch do u dislike the most

Flora says: OHHHH -- I think Icy -- well, all of them are pretty bad -- I mean so much bad karma!

fashionfairy says: Flora, what does your planet look like?

Flora says: It's wonderful, and totally green in a lot of places

Flora says: there are lots and lots of different environments on the 5th moon

Flora says: something for every type of plant you can imagine

Txdancer says: so have you see a dragin

Flora says: Yeah -- they have them at Red Fountain, and we've gone to see the stables

lilbabygrl says: When did you first discover your powers?

Flora says: Oh -- I've had them since I was a baby -- everyonbe has them in my realm

winx777 says: which plant food would you MOST recomend for flowers and plants??????

Flora says: well, we have onein my home realm called Fizzle's

Flora says: but I don't think you have it on Earth

Flora says: So I think composted dirt is great, and eggshells in the plant water helps provide minerals too

fashionfairy says: flora, when is your birthday?

Flora says: Mar 16th

winxNwitches says: what is your fave color?

Flora says: I love green (and pink)!

lrb98 says: Flora,what's your favorite animal?Mines a lion!

Flora says: Ohhh -- I love all animals, but I really love dolphins , oh, and butterflies

winx-angel says: Whos your best friend?

Flora says: Umm, like I said before, I think I might be a weensy bit closer to Bloom, 'cause she's my roomie

Juliet says: What your parents names?

Flora says: Well, I just call them Mom and Dad ...

Flora says: And officially they are the High King and Queen of the 5th Moon of Marigold

TattooedPixie says: Flora, did you like to climb trees when you were younger?

Flora says: Of course -- You'd think I was half monkey! Tee hee!

Flora says: There are tons of trees that are excellent to climb in my realm!

winx777 says: I don't like climbing trees. I think it hurts them!

Flora says: Well, the ones on my realm can talk, and they don't mind

Flora says: as long as you don't break their branches, or scratch them.

Flora says: So I think it's alright if you ask them

mg_winxclub says: Have you heard from the Junior League lately?

Flora says: Yep -- I try to keep in touch

Flora says: They're always doing such great things for the Black Mud Swamp, so I'll visit from time to time

mg_winxclub says: That's great!

wiggels says: flora what do you like the best about alfea?

Flora says: I would have to say the other girls -- I mean, really -- they're what makes it so awesome

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163: Have you ever been to Earth?

Flora says: Nope- not yet , but maybe someday I can go

wiggels says: i wish i was a winx girl

mewichigotomboy says: whats your fave subject at alfea

Flora says: It's a lot of fun!

Flora says: Umm -- I would say, without a doubt...

Flora says: Potions, 'cause we get to use lots of herbs in class

Glam Gal: What's your fave thing to do in your free time?

Flora says: I generally like hanging out with my plants -- I adore taking care of them

Flora says: so I do that a lot

Flora says: and I love working on new potions to help them grow

Glittergurl says: does it feel weired to be a winx

Flora says: Not at all -- I mean, I have had Winx all my life, so I have never been different

Flora says: so it's not at all wierd to me

Flora says: I think it would be way harder for someone like Bloom

#1Flower says: How old were you when you first joined Alfea

Flora says: who didn't know she had winx

Flora says: Oh -- I was 16 when I started here

Chibi Naru says: Flora, may I ask you if you enjoy blasting things? -attempts the nice tactic-

Flora says: Well -- I kinda like it a little bit, but then I soemtimes feel bad about it after

Flora says: Sorry for the poor spelling -- I am a little nervous!

mg_winxclub says: Do you have a favorite holiday Flora?

Flora says: Earth Day -- and it's tomorrow

winx777 says: DO you LOVE spring?

Flora says: I do -- it's when everything comes out in bloom when realms have seasons

Flora says: apparently Tecna's realm doesn't have them

Josie says: do boys have wings

Flora says: I think there are some realms where they do

ShaRinee' says: When you get ready to fight do you fell nervous?

Flora says: Yeah -- I get really really nervous -- I think it would be better if we didn't have to fight at all

Flora says: I mean - everyone could just chill and talk it out y'know

Flora says: but that doesn't always happen

winxNwitches says: Whats your favorite food?

Flora says: I love anything organic! And vegatarian!

Flora says: oops -- spelled that wrong too sorry

mewichigotomboy says: what do you think of the message board

Flora says: I think it's wonderful!

Flora says: It's cool to check out what everyone has posted

Josie says: do you have a chrush on anyone at red fountin please try to answar

Flora says: sorry to say... no. I mean, I like the guys as friends, but right now, that's about it

Glittergurl says: do u like music

Flora says: Yeah I do! And there have been a lot of studies done to show how music helps plants grow

Flora says: -- so does talking to them btw...

Flora says: So I'm all for it!

flowersfall says: whats your favortie plant please answer

Flora says: I love lots of different plants -- but I really like a tree called the madrone

Flora says: I think it grows on Earth too --

Flora says: It can shed it's bark, and it has leaves that stay green all year long

winx777 says:

Catrina says: Flora, my back hurts and itches sometimes. Am I growing wings? I thought I'd ask you since your a farie.

Flora says: Ummm -- I'm not sure -- It never hurt when it happened to me -- I just got a tingling feeling,

Flora says: but if it hurts, maybe you should see your doctor...

Princesss says: i really like this flower called the periwinkle flower.it has a 99% chance of saving somebody fom cancer.i learned about it in skool.

Flora says: I heard about that too.... There are tons of plants that can help people in sooo many ways

Flora says: and we're just learning about all the wonderful, magical things they can do.

Zoey91 says: Was it hard to turn Merta into a girl from a pumkin?

Flora says: Yeah -- it took a long time and I had to concentrate harder than I ever had before

Flora says: I almost didn't think I was going to be able to do it...

Flora says: but I managed to do it

Winx_girl44 says: What would you give to your mom on Mother's Day?

Flora says: well, when I'm at home, I love to make her a garland of flowers and take her breakfast in bed.

Flora says: I know she gets all kinds of gifts, being a queen and everything, but she says she likes that gift the best

lrb98 says: what's your favorite type of tea?

Flora says: I love almost all herbal teas, and I really like licorice

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163: Do you like marigolds?

Flora says: I do -- I was just reading about them in my book!

Flora says: I think they are really special little plants.

Flora says: Did you know that most spieces of marigolds are edible? _ the flowers I mean

Flora says: Just be sure you know for SURE they are marigolds before you try eating them -- oh and make sure they're not sprayed

Zoey91 says: want is your favorite class and why?

Flora says: I Love potions -- and like I said before, I like it because we do a lot of work with herbs

IceAngel says: Do you have pestisides on your planet for your plants?

Flora says: No -- they're not allowed on my planet, we have different ways of controlling the bugs

Flora says: like letting lady bugs eat aphids

Glam Gal says: Do you think the girls on the message boards (And me) could have Winx>

Flora says: and that's part of your winx

winx-angel says: I really need help with choosing a flower for my mom's B-day...

Flora says: oh --- well -- roses are a wonderful way to say I love you, but a single stem orchid is great as well -- plus they last a long time when they are cut

Flora says: the orchids - not the roses, I mean

Josie says: flora,please answar me um i planted for get me nots what kind of music would they like please answar back asap if you can

Flora says: umm -- well, most plants seem to really like any type of classical music,

Flora says: but studies have shown they don't respond as well to hard rock (sorry all you hard rock fans!)

Host says: Just a reminder that Flora can't answer everyones question but she'll do the best she can.

uzma44 says:

mg_winxclub says: Sorry for asking so many questions, but I'm such a huge fan, have a Winx Club website and everything. I have to run, but I'm SOOOO HAPPY you were here today to chat with us! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flora says: Thank you -- and everyone for participating!

Flora says: It's so sweet that you like me!

Flora says: *Flora blushes

Glam Gal says: I'm moving to a new house soon... I;m gonna really miss my current house. Can you please help me stop my fear of missing my house? It's close enough to still stay in my current school so please no help saying good-bye, but can you help me not miss my current home?

Flora says: Well, I wish I could make you not miss it at all, but it's really natural that you do miss it

Flora says: but make your new home your own by decorating your room

Flora says: with stuff that you really love. Plant some new friends, then go outside, and try to make some human firends too.

Flora says: Hopefully you'll feel at home in no time. Hope that helps

lrb98 says: What's better-Tofu or pizza?

Glam Gal says: Thanks Flora! SO SORRY FOR SORTA BEGGGING!!! *Blushes even more*

Flora says: well -- tofu has more protein in it, and can be a really healthy choice (and it can taste pretty yum too!),

Flora says: but that's not to say I don't like a good slice from time to time

lilbabygrl says: Do you like your name?i really like it.

Flora says: Thank you -- I do too -- it used to be my great grandmothers name

Flora says: some people think it's old fashioned, but I like it

lilbabygrl says: do you enjoy Alfea?

Flora says: I do -- it's really a great place to be

Flora says: I learn tons of stuff in class, and most of all, I love my friends there

neonbluemoon says: hey flora my friend katie thinks yur the coolest shes upset cause her pc is broken so she cant talk to you do you wanna say anything too her?

Flora says: Sure -- I Katie -- sorry you couldn't come -- maybe see ya posting on the boards -- Peace out Katie!

lrb98 says: Do you like scary movies?I do!

Flora says: No -- they kinda freak me out -- so they're not my fave

Flora says: I'm more a romantic comedy type girl myself

friendsmagic says: Do you like learning new spells and stuff?

Flora says: Yeah -- I really like learning new stuff -- and you never know when something you learned might come in handy

Zoey91 says: has kiko eaten any of your plants?

Flora says: Yep -- Kiko is one hungry little bunny!

Flora says: He tried to eat my talking plant one time, and the plant screamed and nearly woke up the whole school!

Flora says: I decided it was best to plant him some carrots of his own

Flora says: That way he didn't eat mine!

penaazkhan says: Hi bloom

neonbluemoon says: flora if you liked a guy what would he be like?

Host says: Bloom's not here

Host says: That was two weeks ago. :)

Flora says: well, I would like a guy who was sweet and thoughtful

Flora says: And I guess I would prefer it if he liked nature too,

Flora says: Being cute wouldn't hurt either, but looks aren't everything

IceAngel says: What do you think of Riven?

Flora says: Umm.. sometimes he pulls this attitude, and I can't say I like that...

Flora says: but I've also seen him be ok too...

Flora says: so, let's just say I'm undecided

neonbluemoon says: flora i think yur so cool i like everything about you could you tell tecna i like her ALOT to?

Flora says: Sure I will, and thanks...

fashionfairy says: Flora, do you like fashion?

Flora says: Yeah -- I do like fashion, and I really like environmentally conscious stuff

fashionfairy says: I love your outfits the best!

Flora says: like organic cotton, and linen

lrb98 says: what's a lyrid meteor shower?

Flora says: oh -- that's a meteor shower - Lyrid is the name of it.

Flora says: Tecna says it's named after a greek goddess Lyra

Flora says: and there are tons of shooting stars when the showers are on

Flora says: Really beautiful to watch!

shiara says: do you think that the witches will ever leave Bloom alone?

Flora says: Gosh -- I'm really not sure.

Flora says: I really hope they will, but they really want her powers!

mewmewmint says: You are so smart, Flora! Especially about plants and flowers!

Flora says: thanks

shimmeringstar says: what is yor favorite type of music

Flora says: ummm.. I like a lot of stuff -- right now I'm listening to reggae

Flora says: I like it cause it's pretty up beat

Flora says: I find that helps me to stay optimistic

nicole2005 says: Why is the dragon fire is important?

Flora says: well, the dragon fire was the same powersource used by the Great Dragon, who created the magical universe

shiara says: Is there a Alfea Elementary school?

Flora says: No -- mostly people go to elementary school in their home realms

Flora says: they're too young to go to schools that are away from their parents

Flora says: and Alfea is a boarding school -- so you need to be older

Petti_Angel says: What would you do if one of your friends are in trouble?

Flora says: I would help them! I would do anything I could to help my friends

Winx_girl44 says: Do you like the theme song in your show? 'Close your eyes, and open your heart-'

Flora says: I do like that song -- because it really talks about what finding your Winx is all about

Flora says: you've got to trust and believe in yourself for good things to happen for yourself

Host says: Good questions everyone. Flora has to leave pretty soon. But we have time for two more questions.

shiara says: I am in my school musical and I am the lead opening night is tomarrow and I am so nervouse can u give me advice?

Flora says: That's fantastic!

Flora says: YOu'll be great -- I know you've probably practiced a lot -- so now you just have to believe in yourself

Flora says: you go girl! ( I hope you are a girl -- if not sorry -- you go boy!)

shiara says: thanx see you all later and I am a girl

Flora says: Good luck!

lrb98 says: What would you chose?-POwer or friends?

TattooedPixie says: Good luck Shiara and congratulations on getting the lead opening! You must really be great

Flora says: Hahaha -- Bloom said someone asked her that too -- and my answer is the same -- friends -- anyday of the week!

winx-angel says: Yep, good luck shiara!

Host says: Sorry everyone. I know you have more questions, but Flora needs to go now. It was a great chat session.

Host says: Thank you to everyone for coming and thank you Flora for answering our questions.

Flora says: Thanks everyone. It was really great being here.

Host says: I hope you can come visit us again another time.

Flora says: I was kinda nervous -- but everyone here was soo nice -- thanks

Flora says: Thanks a lot!

Flora says: *Flora smiles and waves goodbye

Host says: *Host waves goodbye.

Host says: Keep your eyes on the message board for further announcements.

Host says: We will have more celeb chats with others in the near future.

Host says: We hope to get Stella next time!

#winx club #winxclub #winx #winxflora

[heartbreakerholland]

lunchtime losers [p.p.]

Summary: Peter Parker was one of your best friends in high school, but there were moments that made you question who exactly he could be to you. Here are a few of those moments you spent in Midtown, trying to figure things out year by year.

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: mentions of underaged drug use, mild swearing, open ended. . . ending(?), unedited

Disclaimer: i cannot stress enough that you shouldn't do drugs/alcohol while underaged. i know high school is weird and everybody might seem to be experimenting with new things, but i promise there'll be a time and place where it's appropriate to do so. i am in no way glamorizing/romanticizing (underaged) drug use, even if it's such a small portion of this fic. drug/alcohol abuse is very serious, even as a teenager when it doesn't seem like you're abusing it.

A/N: i have some pointers! this is a different writing style compared to what i've posted before. i've written like this back when i first started writing fanfiction years ago and quite frankly, i don't even like it that much, so i'm very iffy about this. this is based off of my own experience with getting to know my feelings about a good friend, and a lot of the scenes in here are closely accurate to what's actually happened in my life. the only part that i can say is 100% pure imagination is the ending, which i know will probably make a lot of you frustrated ☺️ (it's because i still haven't told this person my feelings for him oops) ANYWAYS this is written in a very one sided perspective, but i tried to write in a way that you can read between the lines and get a little idea of what peter’s feelings are too. a lot of peter’s and the reader’s feelings are told merely through action and dialogue and less of actual explaining, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless 💞

feedback is greatly appreciated and feel free to request a part 2! enjoy reading!

[masterlist] [join a tag list]

•••

Freshman Year

"This has been going on for weeks," Michelle muttered to you. "If the tension at the table gets any worse, then I'm not sitting with you guys anymore."

You stepped out of the lunch line with your tray in hand, following MJ to stand away from the crowd of students. Looking behind her, you watched Peter and Ned enter the lunch room and sit down at your usual table.

You rolled your eyes. "I already told you. Maybe Peter likes me and maybe I like him back, but he's always been one of my closest friends. I don't want to ruin that."

She scoffed and began walking towards the table with you at her side. "So? You can date and still be friends—"

"But what about when we break up? We either stay friends or never talk to each other again. I'm not risking it."

You knew she would have said more, but the two of you already made it to your table. You took place in your usual seats, Michelle next to Ned and you across from them, next to Peter. You set your backpack on the ground underneath the bench where everyone sat. Without thinking about it, you handed Peter your chocolate milk carton and apple sauce, while he slid over his fruit snacks that May always packed for him. It was a routine; you always got those because you didn't like eating it but you knew Peter did, and Peter never told May that he doesn't like fruit snacks because you loved eating them.

MJ narrowed her gaze at you during the interaction, but you chose to ignore her. It was nothing more than a routine.

"Y/N, Michelle," Ned said. "Please tell Peter that he's being stupid.”

Without missing a beat, you and MJ repeated Ned's words at the same time.

Peter glanced between the two of you with mock surprise. "You didn't even know what we were talking about!"

MJ shrugged, taking a bite out of her food. "Don't have to. You're always stupid, Parker."

He put a hand over his chest. "I'm hurt, guys. I really am."

You chuckled but said nothing more, allowing your three friends to carry the conversation while your mind wandered.

You tried your best to pinpoint the moment you began liking Peter as more than a friend, but your heart wasn't into it.

All you could really tell was when you became more conscious of how close you always sat with him, thighs glued to the side and elbows never coming apart. You blamed it on the lunch table crowded with other students on either side of your friend group, giving you absolutely no space for Jesus in between.

You would catch yourself staring, taking note of his mannerisms and how his light brown hair always seemed to bounce whenever his head moved. You decided you noticed those things because of how long you've been friends with him.

You realized you always watched for his reaction first before seeing the others' after you said something funny, but you told yourself it was only because you valued his opinion the most.

You tried taking note of his flaws in hopes that it would get rid of whatever those feelings were. His hands were always clammy, his backpack was so big that you weren't sure how he didn't topple over when it was on his back, and sometimes he'd spit a little when he talked a lot. (For some reason, those things didn't push you away like you wanted.)

You felt a kick from under the table, bringing you back to the cafeteria. You looked up to be met with Michelle's glare, who signaled you to check your phone. Reaching into your pocket, you took your phone out and looked at the screen under the table.

Michael Jackson: if u keep staring at peter then he might actually notice for once

You gave MJ a look, who was the one who sent the text, and put your phone away. You didn't realize you'd been mindlessly eating until you felt full. You slid your food to Peter, who began eating the rest of it without second thought. (He always ate his lunch first then whatever you couldn't finish as well.) Routine.

Before you could actively participate in the conversation, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

The four of you rose from the long table, gathering your trash to throw it away. You slouched over to grab your bag from where you put it.

"Here ya go," Peter said from behind.

You turned around to see him holding up your backpack for you.

"Oh, thanks," you smiled, swinging the backpack over your shoulders.

He returned the smile. "You going to your locker?"

"Like always, Pete."

"Alright," he slowly backed away. "See you in five?"

You nodded and began walking the other direction, where your locker was. Michelle followed Peter to the band room while Ned decided to accompany you on your short walk.

"Soooo, Y/N," he said suggestively. "That dance is coming up."

You groaned. "I thought the four of us were just going to sleep over at MJ's that night?"

You stopped in front of your locker, opening it to grab a textbook for one of your classes later in the day. You grabbed one of Peter's hoodies that he left in there, knowing it would be cold in the band room. (You had a locker in one side of the school while Peter had his own in the other side. You both agreed to share both, merely for convenience and nothing more.) Ned leaned on the locker next to yours, facing you.

He fiddled with his backpack straps. "You know how the school's making it a 'girls ask guys' kind of thing? Well, Michelle was thinking that maybe we should go! Like, she'll ask me and you can ask Peter—"

You raised a pointed finger at your friend. "I see what you're doing now," you accused him. You shut the locker and began walking towards the band room with Ned beside you. "I don't condone meddling, Leeds."

"But Y/N!" he said excitedly. "MJ and I know that you two like each other. You know that Peter likes you. He knows that you like him. You know that he knows that you like him. He knows that you know that he likes you. It's a win-win!"

You sighed. "You're making it sound more complicated than it actually is."

The two of you made it to the band room and Ned opened the door for both of you to walk in. You both headed to retrieve your instruments, with other students swarming by.

"You're making it actually complicated! Look, Y/N. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but," he lowered his voice, "if you don't ask Peter to the dance, then he's gonna ask you."

You froze, holding your instrument case in the air. "What?" You regained yourself and set the case down, facing Ned. "No, Ned. No. Listen. I'll tell you what I told Michelle, okay? I just want to be Peter's friend—"

"But you like him!"

"But I don't want to do anything about it. It's just a crush—it'll pass. I treasure our friendship more than having a crush that won't last forever."

Ned raised and dropped his arms exasperatedly, giving up.

Michelle popped up, seeming chipper than usual. "Hey guys, we're practicing for contest today," she said. "What're you talking about?"

"It's not gonna happen, MJ," Ned sighed. He grabbed his instrument and trudged away, leaving you two alone since the rest of the students seem to have gone in their respective practice rooms already.

Michelle put her hands on her hips and stared at you, her attitude changing back to normal. "Why not, Y/N? Are you scared or something?"

You sighed. You turned around and headed the same direction Ned went, with MJ following closely behind. "No, I'm not scared. Can you guys please stop meddling? I just don't want anything to happen, and that's it."

The two of you stopped in front of your designated practice room, the door closed. You peeked through the small window in the door, seeing the boys were already in there, oblivious to you and MJ on the other side.

"Why not?" Michelle asked. "You'll regret not ever knowing what could have been—"

"No, that's the thing," you interjected. You were tired of hearing these talks about Peter, and it was beginning to show. "I know that I won't regret it. I can daydream about 'could-have-beens' with Peter all my life, and I'll be fine with that. I don't want to lose him, and if that means that I can't be with him romantically, then that's what I'm gonna do. Having a crush is always temporary, Michelle. Peter's the kind of person that I want permanently in my life. Do you know what I mean now?"

She stared at you with a hint of sadness in her eyes, like she could see right through your words. See what, you weren't sure. After a skeptical moment, she took a breath, surrendering. "Alright, fine. I'll let him know that."

You took a breath of relief. "Thank you."

Michelle turned to open the door to the practice room, Ned and Peter welcoming the two of you in.

-

The practice room was small with the four of you and your instruments in it, meaning you'd be in close quarters with them—Peter specifically.

It was easy to pretend your feelings for Peter weren't there. It was easy to act like yourself despite the elephant in the room. Before the complications, you and Peter were glued together, so why treat him differently now?

Maybe you noticed him noticing you, watching your moves when you pretended you couldn't see where his line of sight was directed. Maybe you took note of him flinching back whenever you accidentally brushed against him, and how the sweat from his palms were more prominent on his instrument.

But it was easier to ignore those things, which is what made it easier for you to act like it never happened in the first place.

Sophomore Year

You weren't usually one to gloat, but damn it you were right about the situation with Peter and you told yourself that you should be happy about it.

Crushes were always temporary. Friendship could last forever.

Could.

Michelle and Ned eventually stopped bringing it up freshman year, and you figured Peter eventually stopped liking you as well.

The whole ordeal wasn't something any of you talked about, an unsaid truth never to be spoken. You refused to even think about those weird few months and how you felt during that time. You told yourself that having a mutual crush on your best friend wasn't something to think about.

You were just glad that you weren't the center of Peter's attention anymore. You knew this was true, mainly because his attention drifted to Liz Allen. The intelligent, breathtaking, lucky girl: Liz Allen.

Besides Peter's obvious crush on her, nothing changed.

"If you three weren't my only friends at this school," MJ said, "I'd stop eating lunch with you guys."

You followed her out of the lunch line after paying, just like the normal routine since last year. The two of you began walking across the cafeteria and towards the same table you've always sat at, with Ned and Peter already there. (The only difference nowadays was Peter sat next to Ned, and you and MJ sat across from them, so Peter could helplessly drool over Liz across the lunch room.)

You chuckled. "Me too, I think. . . It's because of Peter, huh?"

She groaned. "Duh. All he does is gush about her."

You laughed as you sat down next to Michelle, having finally made it to the table. Before even being able to look at your food, Peter began talking.

"She straightened her hair today, guys! She looks so different but still. . . so good."

Ned followed where Peter's eyes were, seeing it was true. Michelle faked a gag, which only you noticed.

The two of you ate your food in silence, which was something different compared to before Liz came in the picture. Peter also stopped bringing you fruit snacks and eating the food that you couldn't finish, as well as denying to take chocolate milk and apple sauce from you.

Sometimes you'd catch yourself missing those little things, but you told yourself it was only because of the change in what used to be normal. Before, normal was getting squished next to Peter and enjoying it, oddly realizing the days he switched between his cologne, and endless banter between the four of you. Now, normal was having to think of what to say to strike a conversation with him, rolling your eyes at his comments on Liz, and being vaguely aware of the few times he looked your way.

You would find yourself hurting, and you'd have to correct your thoughts and say it was only missing the past. There was no use in feeling sorry for yourself, though. Things happen, feelings change, and that was that. You were still friends with Peter in one way or another, and that's what you wanted, so clearly you had to be happy about things going your way.

"You guys are losers," Michelle told the boys, who were still fawning over the senior girl in the cafeteria.

Peter didn't seem to hear her, (he didn't seem to hear anything you and MJ said, nowadays), but Ned shrugged. "You're still friends with us," he replied.

That was true. You were still friends and that's what mattered. It was weird having to remind yourself of that fact, but it was still that: a fact.

"Hey, Y/N?" Peter spoke out of nowhere.

His voice fazed you. It was odd hearing him say your name now, especially after realizing he used to say it almost as often as he breathed.

"You know about girls, right?"

You and Michelle shared a glance, knowing where this was headed.

"I mean, I am a girl, so yeah," you said. You looked at him, but his eyes never seemed to have left the special girl seated somewhere behind you. You paid no mind to it, your eyes going over how his head was dreamily rested on his hand.

"Okay, so," he began. "Hypothetically speaking. . . If you're a senior, would you date a guy that's a sophomore?"

You rolled your eyes, but decided to mess with Peter. "Well, what's the guy like?"

Michelle snorted.

"He's, uhm. . . He's pretty smart. Really nice, I think—"

"He's a cutie!" Ned chimed in.

You shrugged. "Well, if that's all he has going for him. . ."

"No!" Peter retaliated. "He's really cool, and uh, thinks you're pretty! Yeah, you're pretty."

You felt your face heat up and you were glad that none of your friends were looking at you for once.

-

You were warned that the people you walk into high school with would never be the people you'd walk out of high school with. People grew apart and that was life, apparently. You didn't think those warnings would actually apply to you, though. You thought the four of you were too strong together to separate.

By the time sophomore year was halfway done, you were proved dearly wrong.

You thought Liz would be the only strain on your friendship with Peter, but his behavior drastically changed out of nowhere then suddenly he got an internship with Stark Enterprises. Peter was one of the smartest people you ever met, so you weren't surprised. If anything, the real surprise was he not only quit the only class he had with you—which was music—but he stopped even trying to talk to you.

You and Michelle decided to stop sitting with Peter and Ned during lunch.

"There he goes again," Michelle pointed.

You followed her gaze and saw that Peter was fawning over Liz again, which was weird considering he rarely showed up during lunch anymore.

It hurt. You knew that now. Missing Peter wasn't something you'd expect to feel, but lately? It's all you've felt.

You didn't have to miss MJ or Ned, because you still saw them and talked to them regularly. It was only Peter. Always Peter freaking Parker.

Maybe you took him for granted. You'd never thought that there'd come a day that you'd stop sharing food, sharing classes, sharing a conversation.

"No point in regretting it," you said aloud.

It was more for yourself than to Michelle. You made your decision on who Peter was to you, so it would only be a waste of time in wondering who he could have been.

Junior Year

Something changed sophomore year. Ned told you that Peter ditched the academic decathlon which resulted in him getting detention. That was something you never expected to hear, considering Peter was the perfect example of Midtown High's star student.

The beginning of junior year, you saw him in music. He stayed this time.

He seemed to be taking advantage of "conveniently" getting the same class like before. He made a point to talk to you again—during class and lunch—and it was like he never ditched you and MJ.

"Oh my God," you rolled your eyes. You aggressively turned your body to face Peter who sat beside you. "You just want to win! You're not even right!"

He looked at Ned and MJ sat in front of you two for help, but they only stared back with clear amusement. (The four of you assumed your usual seats from freshman year, so you would always get squished against Peter's side at lunch again.)

"It doesn't matter if I'm right!" he exclaimed with big hand gestures. "A debate is a debate! You could be right—I'm not saying you are—but I'm just better at debating than you."

Ned did a terrible job at hiding his laughter from the argument you were having with Peter.

This was something that you were happy you had the chance of getting used to again—not that you'd ever tell Peter that. As soon as the school year began and all of you sat together, not so playful yelling was all that accompanied the lunch table.

The dorky boy loved proving himself right, and you loved proving people wrong. As soon as the second week of sharing lunch in the cafeteria passed by, it would have been weird not to bicker with him like before.

Michelle slammed her book closed, startling the three of you to silence. "Look," she said, giving you and Peter a death glare. "Y/N, Peter has some good points—all only technical, but still good."

Peter thanked her and you huffed, upset MJ wasn't on your side.

"Shut up, Peter," she said. "Peter, Y/N's still right, and you're just gross."

"Ha!" you yelled, then rose from the table's bench and reached over to high-five Ned. (You were sure he'd side with either of you, but it was the thought that counts.)

Peter scoffed. "It's not that gross," he said, refusing to take Michelle's answer. "If you were on a deserted island with a bag of frozen chicken nuggets and no microwave, it would still be safe to eat them—"

"The directions say to microwave them for a reason, Peter!" you interrupted.

"It's already cooked!" he brought up, which was something he pointed out earlier in the conversation. "It's cooked before it's frozen, then you can just warm it up in the microwave—but that doesn't mean you have to—"

"Y'know what, fine," you said, slamming your hands down on top of the lunch table. "You can eat frozen chicken nuggets all you want, Peter. But I am going to warm mine up in the microwave like everybody else. And if you get some weird disease, don't come crying to me because I was right—"

"I won't come crying back to you! Because I'm still right!"

The bell rang, signaling the end of your lunch before you could put another word in. The four of you immediately rose, with MJ and Ned heading straight to the band room.

You reached down for your backpack, only not to find it where you left it. Turning around, Peter held it in the air for you to shrug on. Just like before.

The two of you silently walked side by side to your locker so you could switch out textbooks and get one of Peter's sweaters that he always "forgot" in there.

"How's that one guy doing?" Peter asked, one hand in his jean pocket with the other gripping his backpack strap.

You shrugged, opening your locker. He leaned against the locker next to yours, staring you down with his usual grin.

You'd be damned if you didn't say puberty was doing Parker well. You wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't ditched you last school year, but he definitely got. . . toned, to say the least. He also learned how to use hair gel and walked around school with clothes that seemed to make him more confident.

You cleared the thoughts away. Those things were only noticeable because you were friends with him. Obviously.

"You mean Carlos?" you replied. You reached into the locker and sorted out what you needed to.

Peter nodded then grabbed the textbooks you had in your arms. You shut the locker and the two of you began your walk to the band room.

"I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me, which was nice," you told your friend. "But he stopped talking to me out of nowhere and hasn't even opened my messages since."

He scrunched his eyebrows. "Here, lemme see the messages."

Before you could reach in your back pocket for your phone, Peter beat you to it with his free hand. He unlocked it and went to the messages. While reading it, he chuckled.

"Seriously, Y/N?" he said, amused. "That's why he stopped replying! You called him 'dude!'"

You gave him a shocked look. "So what? I call everyone dude."

Making it to the band room, you opened the door and followed Peter in. He spoke while the two of you set down your belongings. "You friend-zoned him."

You scoffed. "I did not!"

He gave you a look. "Y/N. I've been friend-zoned enough times to know when somebody else is getting friend-zoned."

You rolled your eyes and turned around to get yours and Peter's instruments, but something felt off about what he said. You didn't really care about talking to Carlos, but what Peter said felt like it was partially directed to you. You didn't blame him, because you technically did friend-zone him. . . but that was two years ago! Clearly he let it go by now, because you definitely did.

Senior Year

You and Michelle stumbled inside her home, waving a goodbye to Peter—who dropped you two off—before shutting the front door.

"Dude," you turned to her. She looked at you with glazed eyes, but was still able to keep her focus. You continued, "I am so gone."

Both of you giggled, leaning on each other to take off your shoes and put aside your bags. MJ led you to a couch, retrieved water from the kitchen, then sat next to you. She chugged the water down with a hand clearly steadier than yours. "What do you mean?" she asked. Her eyes were bloodshot and droopy, but she looked put together for the most part.

You shrugged lazily, taking a sip of your water. "You've seen me smoke," you said to her. "I've been. . . chill, buzzed, whatever. But right now? I am high." Laughter interrupted whatever you could have said next, though you weren't sure if you had anything to say.

She laughed with you, still clearly having a good time despite being more sober. "Really?"

"Yeah," you nodded. "Like," you looked around the room, searching for the right set of words. "I haven't been this high in a while. . . Like, you've never seen me this gone."

"Ooh," she rubbed her hands together comically. "I'm excited."

You rubbed your eye, forgetting the makeup you had on. "Why?"

"Because!" she chirped up. "You know what they say? Drunk words are sober thoughts. Well, high words too, maybe."

You shook your head with a smile before drinking more water. You didn't mind letting loose with Michelle; you trusted her, which was why you smoked as much as you did in the first place. You were comfortable enough to allow her to see this side of you, even if there was the chance you might not remember any of it in the morning.

You helped each other up the stairs, having decided you should at least take off your makeup and change your clothes. (Thank God her parents weren't coming home that night.) By the time you both finished, you were seated comfortably on the couch once again, this time underneath one large blanket and with the television playing late night cartoons in front of you. A single lamp as well as the TV were your only light sources, which kept the living room in a dim glow.

"Can I be honest?" you spoke over the cartoons, startling Michelle. Neither of you were sobering up at all, but that fact didn't stop anything.

She nodded and turned off the TV. MJ turned to completely face you, giving you her attention. "Yeah," she said. "What's up?"

You began rambling without hesitation. "You know how Peter was at the game? Well, of course he was. He had to be because the band was playing for the football team and he's in band. . . But anyways, I didn't talk to him at all—he always seemed busy with somebody else—but I couldn't stop. . . I don't know. I caught myself looking for him a lot, like, to see if he moved around the bleachers or something."

Michelle nodded, allowing you to continue.

"Okay, well. . . I don't know, dude," you continued. "You remember how we had crushes on each other freshman year? Well—I don't think I have a crush on him, I swear—but I feel something. . . It's weird. He's one of my best friends but I know there's something stronger there."

She looked around the room thoughtfully, searching for a reply. "What do you feel?"

It was hard to think clearly and how to explain yourself; the only word that stayed in your head the entire time was his name. Peter, Peter, Peter.

You began rambling. As soon as the words left your mouth, you instantly forgot what they were, but that didn't stop you from talking. "Michelle, it's so weird. I've never really told you this but, remember when he had a crush on Liz? And when he ditched us for a while after that? I—I think I missed him. And not just as a friend. You know what, I don't know."

Peter, Peter, Peter.

You shook your hands in the air as if you could shoo your thoughts away.

You continued. "I care about him as a friend and stuff, but I don't think how I've felt about him is how I feel about other people, like you or Ned. It's different. Like, I don't want to lose him. I don't want him out of my life."

Peter, Peter, Peter.

You sighed. "When he was gone for the whole Stark Internship thing, it felt like I really lost someone. I mean, I don't have to talk to you or Ned for days—weeks, even—and I'll be fine. But when the same thing happened with Peter? I would feel so. . . lost."

Michelle nodded, staying attentive the entire time. There was a part of you that knew she wasn't high enough to forget any of this, though you were sure you wouldn't remember much.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked.

You shrugged, looking down at your hands. Peter, Peter. "What does it sound like to you? I don't know what I'm feeling is called, but it's definitely not just a friendly thing."

She stared at you for a moment, contemplating what to do next. "I'm not sure if this has anything to do with you two," she began, "but I think you should know. . . You know how you'd leave during lunch sometimes to go to the bathroom?"

You nodded, recalling the multiple occasions.

"Well," she continued. "Ned and I talked about it, and we noticed that Peter's not the same when you're gone, either. Like, he'd look so bored and would play games on his phone compared to when you're at the table and he'd never stop talking."

You imagined him doing so. "Huh."

"Yeah. . ." she said. "Let's just go to sleep, okay? Sleep on it, and I'll remind you whatever you forgot you said in the morning, alright? Then we can figure out what to do."

As soon as MJ said the word "sleep," you instantly realized how heavy your eyelids felt. You nodded at her proposal, and laid yourself down on the couch with her.

You weren't sure if your eyes were closed or if it was just that dark in the living room, but you were definitely thinking. You imagined the feeling of being brushed against Peter's body, whenever you sat next to each other or walked side by side in the school halls. He started driving recently, and for some reason you always got shotgun while MJ and Ned didn't hesitate to sit in the back. You could nearly feel your elbows touching when you both leaned on the console at the same time. You remembered the times he'd laugh around you, uncaring about how loud it might've been, as well as the fact that he said your name more times in one day than anybody else did in a whole month.

His absence sophomore year definitely put a strain on you. You loved Michelle and Ned to bits, but you were pretty sure you might've loved Peter in a different way.

Him being out of your life for that period of time was confusing but, at the same time, clearer than looking through a window. You managed to keep tabs on him even if it meant only scrolling through his Instagram or seeing how he'd hold himself across the hall. You knew then that you cared about that boy more than you ever cared for anyone else.

You were terrified of you two becoming more than friends because that meant you had a chance of it ending badly and never talking to him again. Staying friends meant staying safe.

It meant that you had more of a chance of him being with you, which is what you knew you always wanted. You knew you'd be happy, crush or not, as long as Peter was in your life the rest of the way.

Is that what it feels like to love?

-

You nervously rubbed your hands together, which gained odd looks from other students due to the warm New York weather. It was a few months after that fated night with Michelle, the day of the senior field trip. The entire senior class got to go into the city and do whatever they wanted for an entire school day.

Michelle coolly stood beside you, her hands in both her jacket pockets. "I'm excited," she admitted.

You squinted at her. "For what?"

An uncharacteristic smile broke her face. "You know! You're finally gonna confess your feelings to Parker. It's about time, honestly. Ned and I were beginning to think about calling off our deal we started freshman year—"

"Hey guys!" a voice chimed in from afar.

You gave MJ a look to stop talking about the subject, watching Ned and Peter walking towards you two.

"I am so excited," Ned said. You caught him giving Michelle a wink, which told you that she informed him of the "plan."

You would've groaned if Peter weren't standing right next to you.

"Me too!" Peter said obliviously. "I really want to check out that new pop culture museum."

A teacher announced for everyone to gather up and get inside the bus. The four of you sat in the back together, you and MJ sharing one seat while Peter and Ned were seated right in front of you.

"I'm scared of getting lost, honestly," Ned confessed a bit after the bus began moving.

Peter huffed his chest. "Don't worry, man! The internship," he winked at the three of you, "really let me get to know the city, so I'll know everywhere we go."

You and MJ rolled your eyes together. Peter had shared his secret about being Spider-Man with the two of you not too long after he got his license, only because his "spider senses were tingling" right before avoiding a crash.

"By 'everywhere' do you mean all the port-a-potty's?" you teased him.

Peter made a face. "That was one time! Ya use the bathroom once and that's when the paparazzi show up," he whispered to himself.

-

You were nervous for nearly the entire day due to the anticipation of confessing to Peter. It was hard figuring out when and where to do so; should you make a big deal out of it like one big crush proposal or just bring it up out of nowhere as if it were the most normal thing to say?

Decisions, decisions.

The four of you were inside the new Museum of Pop Culture, wandering around aimlessly with offhand remarks for everything in the exhibits.

"Guys," Ned said. He walked beside Michelle while you and Peter were behind. "The horror exhibit actually looks pretty scary."

You peeked through the glass doors, the exhibit on the other side. All you could see was red glowing from the ceiling, which did make Ned seem correct.

"Never fear," Peter whispered to the three of you. "Spider-Man is here."

Your group walked through the doors, instantly being met by speakers blasting screams and haunting music. The red lights from above were your only source of light, leading the way deeper into the exhibit.

"Oh," MJ said softly. "Y/N, don't look up."

Not many things scared you, but you knew that Michelle was well aware of what did.

Trusting her, you instinctively gripped onto Peter's upper arm and watched your feet move on the ground. You noticed he instantly tensed at the contact, his bicep tougher with your fingers barely able to wrap around it.

"It's alright, Y/N," Peter said, looking up to see what MJ was talking about. "It's not even that ba—ohmygod we're not walking that way."

He redirected you to the left after the exhibit opened up into a large room. You heard Ned and Michelle chuckle at Peter, who allowed the two of you to move in front of them.

"Dude," you heard Ned from behind. "It's just a bunch of hanging bodies wrapped like. . . mummies?"

Knowing you were well past whatever MJ told you not to look at, you raised your head and took in your surroundings.

"Oh," you said. "It's not that bad."

You looked to the right side of the room where Peter made a point not to cross and saw what Ned was talking about. You laughed, letting go of Peter's arm. "You call yourself Spider-Man? It's not even that scary."

All of you stopped and stood with one of the walls behind you, scoping out the exhibit.

"That's the one thing I don't like!" Peter complained.

Michelle walked over to the small area of fake bodies hanging from the ceiling, all of them covered with cloth and net. She poked it.

"It's fake, you dork," she said.

You and Ned followed her and saw the bodies made a maze, leading to an explanation on what movie that section was about. The three of you taunted Peter, walking into the maze.

The brunette puffed his chest. "Yeah, whatever."

He was last to go inside, the rest of you well ahead. There was a line of bodies between you and him, so you pushed the one closest to him.

Peter screeched.

"One thing!" he screamed. "That is the one single thing! I hate you guys!"

The rest of you broke out into laughter.

-

You were all seated in a McDonald's booth, leisurely eating your shared meals. You had assumed the same seating as you always did for lunch at Midtown.

You felt a kick from under the table. Looking up, Michelle gave you a pointed look.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," she announced.

She scooted out of the booth and stood up.

"Oh yeah, me too." Ned said.

The two of them walked towards the back of the fast food restaurant.

So this was it.

How the hell were you going to do it? You didn't even know if Peter had any feelings more than platonic for you. What if all he felt was platonic? You would make things awkward, ruin your friendship, waste all that time for the past four years being one of his best friends for something non-mutual.

You could hear your heart beating through your eardrums. Your hand shook a little every time you raised a fry to your mouth.

You were terrified. You weren't sure if confessing would even be worth it. In a few months, high school would be over. You'd have no good reason to see any of your friends everyday again, nonetheless Peter by himself.

Maybe you've just been overthinking everything. It wouldn't have been hard to believe that your feelings came only from convenience of going to the same school, having the same class, eating at the same table.

You cared for him, but maybe that was all there was. It could just be an unconditional love, like loving a brother.

You shook your head at yourself. That wasn't it; you definitely did not think of Peter as a brother. Even a little graze against him made your senses go wild. Every time you had eye contact with him, you'd force yourself not to look away despite thinking he'd always have been able to look straight into your soul and know what you felt.

You always knew what he would say if he saw you do something stupid, and you were always excited to hear what he'd think about something that happened to you when he wasn't there. You'd be able to recognize his laugh a mile away, and being the cause of his smile made you feel light.

You knew he'd tell you the truth on which shirt looked better with which jeans and not just say you looked good no matter what. He'd make sure to take stray lint out of your hair and point out if you had something in your teeth.

You've had short crushes on other people, and you even dated some of them for an amount of time. They never made you feel the same way Peter did.

You remembered the feelings you had when you found out he went to homecoming with Liz Allen sophomore year. When you learned of his crush on her, it was a dull ache. But when you even saw them at the dance together? It pierced.

But you were still able to get back to the groove of your feelings after that.

Yeah, you might've been in love with Peter Parker. What took you four years to realize that?

"Hey, Y/N?"

Your head jerked up and you looked at him beside you. God, what were you going to do? Could you bring yourself to say it?

Shut up,you thought to yourself. Eventually, it'll be too late. Say it now.

Peter continued talking after you stayed silent.

"I know this is really out of the blue," he said. He put down the burger in his hands and faced you completely. "But I just want to say thank you for everything. We're gonna be graduating pretty soon and. . . I don't know. I just really appreciate you—and MJ and Ned—for sticking around."

You nodded your head, urging him to continue, nervous to hear what he had to say next.

"Things were really weird after I got bit by the spider and I still feel like shit for ditching you guys for a while. . . But thanks for letting me come back. I couldn't have ever imagined getting better people in my life than you three. Even if we go across the country for college or something, I really hope we can all stay friends. I love you guys, you know."

Oh.

You smiled at him like he did to you. Friends.

You cleared your throat. "I love you too, Pete."

#peter parker #spiderman #sm:ffh #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #au #imagine #oneshot #fluff #angst #avengers #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #tom holland #x you #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #sm:h

[tharros-auris-black-asimi]

Which Bucky is your favorite Bucky? Top 3?

Hello Anon! After doing my certain... post just now, I needed a nice little breather. Thank you for this question!

Well... if we're talking about in the MCU, I gotta say my top three Bucky's are:

1. Civil War/Beefy Bucky. How could you not love this version? It's prime Bucky. He's so beefy and gentle. He looks like he gives great hugs too. He's an overall softie and I love him. I wanna give him kisses.

2. TFATWS Bucky. He's grumpy, a little rough around the edges, and is an old man. Someone give him his senior discount. And he loves The Hobbit. Has anyone told him about The Lord of the Rings though? I love Lord of the Rings. We'd get along. He might be into Game of Thrones too, who knows! But ugh. I love him. He'd probably not be as afraid to be a little more rougher with you in bed too. And I love that for him. He makes me horny. Nuff said.

3. WS!Bucky. I mean, come on. We all knew this was coming. He'd be so rough with you. He'd probably spit in your mouth too. He's so needy for touch and love, because he doesn't know how it feels like. And with him discovering what it is, to me, I feel like that would be a way for him to regain control. He's been stripped of his own for so long that he wants it. He's lost, confused, and all he wants is to feel control and agency over his own body again. And that's what makes him so special.

To me, anyway.

BUT! if we're talking about the Bucky's I've written in the past and current present, these would be my personal top three!

1. Think of Me!Bucky. He's my Modern!Bucky, so to speak. I don't have this fic on Tumblr and I just have it on AO3. It's currently on a lil hiatus, because my msue for it low atm. BUT! This version of Bucky holds a special place in my heart. This fic isn't a Reader Insert, but it has an OFC. She's biracial. But if anyone wants me to do a character explanation for her, I'd love to!

However, let's reel it back to Bucky.

He's an asshole when we meet him. Not as much as Lance, but somewhat on that scale. Ish. He's a powerful CEO and he has money on his side. He's got the entire world underneath his fingertips, but when he finds out that his ex-girlfriend gave birth to a baby girl who's ten, his world changes. Ten years prior to the beginning of the story, he broke up with her.

So like, if you've read the story on my AO3, spoilers ahead.

When he meets his child at school through a presentation, he actually wants to become a dad and sorta... inserts himself into his baby momma's life. It's shitty, but he had good intentions. Bucky seeing his daughter reminded him of himself when he was young. She looked so happy and full of life that Bucky just knew she was special.

And she's his kid anyway, so yeah. He's also a deadbeat who didn't pay his child support. Andddd he's also not on the birth certificate. Oops.

His character development from being a total and complete asshole to him acknowledging that his traumatic past with his dad walking out on his own family which made him have to step up and be the man of the family which fueled his thoughts of not wanting kids? And when he acknowledges his mistakes and owns up to his shit?

Yeah. Definitely why he's number one for me. It's beautiful.

2. Alpha!Bucky. He's built like Civil War Bucky but is grumpy and has old man energy like TFATWS Bucky. He's protective, soft, and is basically a man written by a woman. He's emotionally available, and doesn't mind being emotionally fulfilling in the relationship. He loves and cherishes his Omega. Overall, I would date him.

3. Number three is probably a tossup between Dark!Priest!Bucky (who actually turns out to be Mob!Bucky, but I digress), or Hydra!Bucky.

Now, Dark!Priest!Bucky has soooo many layers. He's very loyal to the church and his faith, but he can't help his carnal desires. He wants sex, even though he's a Catholic priest and swore an oath of celibacy. This Bucky's a human man, he's got sexual desires like most people in the world. When he meets Singer!Reader though, everything changes. I wouldn't classify his feelings for her as love at first sight, but their relationship is certainly very special. Despite his possessiveness and dark nature, he's very loving. He treats her gently and he's soft. I'd plop him into the soft dark category. Overall, he's so interesting. I might just write a sequel for them.

And for Hydra!Bucky? He's very adaptable. He's in this new Hydra controlled world. In this verse, Hydra was successfully in taking over the entire North America. Hydra!Bucky's been free of Hydra's torment. He can do practically anything. He's fucking royalty. He's one of the oldest members in Hydra. However, that doesn't stop the loathing he feels towards Hydra for forcing him to their puppet. He's out for vengeance now. Hydra's gonna pay for their crimes. This Bucky, even though he's dark, whether it be Fuck Shit Up and Not Die in that series, or even the Hydra!Bucky in Look what you made me do, is soft around his lover. He treats them well and is emotionally available, just like Alpha!Bucky.

If you've managed to make this far, congrats. This reeks of a school essay and I think my English teachers would be very... interested in my passion for the Bucky's. I hope you're not bored, lol. Thank you for the question!

If anyone else is interested in hearing me blab about any other characters of mine, let me know! I might just make an entire essay for them lmafooo.

#mel answer things #this turned out to be longer than i thought #oops

[ohoshi]

ksdddjsjd yeah a lot of them get spammed quite often, so fair enough !! omg what made you ult hoshi? :o it's nice to see you there too !!

hehe thank you <3 i'm not sure that there will be one next week seeing as i have a lot on my plate atm but we'll see.

yeah !! although english is my first language <3 ooo i haven't gotten to that level of skill yet with a lot of the languages i've learnt !! i can understand most of them, but i can't really speak it too well </3 the only time i've read a book in another language was harry potter in spanish ksdjs it went pretty well !! but i can see how the original language can help !!

yeah, i get that. i mostly watch anime when my friend comes over or i visit her ksjdsj i don't really watch it by myself </3 idk it's one of those things that i find really hard to get into </3

THE HOSHI PICS YOU SENT DAMAGED ME SOOOOO MUCH I'VE SPENT MY EVENING WITH THIS ":(((((((((" MOOD i mean don't get me wrong i absolutely love it like 100% just a tsundere in me hates adgshhasdh he's adorable but i'll leave simping to discord channels and private chats cause i have pride to maintain kahdsghas haha but do i? i don't think so, not anymore, i said soooo much stupid shit for the past week ashdgfahsgd

PLS ksdjd CORA TSUNDERE AGENDA WITH MR KWON SOONYOUNG </3 icb this </3 bUT HE IS ADORABLE <3

:ooo something i've noticed with svt is that a lot of them own really nice sweaters ;-; like i really want to get sweaters like that-

i've never been to one as well !! they don't really come to my country </3 but bring it and who!!!!!! good choices, i would want to see that too-

i stan nct and svt (as you know), txt, shinee, tbz, and skz !! i'm a casual fan of itzy, though. what about you :ooo

also ty for thinking of me in that jh post !! ksdjsdj i saw your tags, i appreciate it <3

and my name means song/melody in italian ahjsjsj so you're actually right about that. also the aria awards are a music awards show as well-

honestly, idk what made me ult him? actually i used to bias china line (hao ult) for the longest time 😭 my bias wreckers were dk and hoshi and idk DO YOU DO THIS TOO but i always kind of fought biasing hoshi? (from the start i fought hoshi jsgsaj he was adorably annoying and i hated him not legit btw but it's so funny to me that i didn't like him at first and now i ult him jgsjfaFI took me 5 years, i am the bravest soldier of all tsunderes kgsjgak) like i never wanted to let him wreck my love for hao ksgsajags sometimes i do that, fight with my wreckers 😭😭😭😭😭 kind of like how you don't want to admit you bias jeonghan and idk after gda this year i just gave up? so their gda performance made me ult him? i gave up and i've been living my best life ever since sksvsksgakgssjsgsjs 😌

well i'm sure that if you had time to focus on each language you'd perfect it !!!! so you like harry potter???

ohhh i see skshajg felt tho!!! i just fell out of the anime hole and never wanted to go back there ever again oops sjsgsjsg but it's cute how you watch it with your friend even tho you can't exactly get into it 🥺🥺🥺 precious!!

IKRR LOL they have some great clothing items (and some terrible ones for example hao's outfit in the latest gose)

yeah they don't come to my country either jsagaj or anywhere close sjgasj BUT NICE TO KNOW YOU'D LIKE TO SEE WHO LIVE TOO HUH 👀👀👀👀

i only stan svt and shinee, am a casual fan of possibly every single group you could think of (occasionally i go through a phase where i diehard stan each group, eventually said phase ends, but not for svt and shinee, those never ended 😐 so i stan those 2 only lol) sjsgaajsgsjwsgw i have a long history of being into kpop it's tiring 😩 BUT I'M HAPPY TO SEE SHINEE THERE AS WELL HEHEHEHE who are your biases in nct and tbz? 👀👀👀👀

OH I KNEW THAT LOL that's why i said it reminded me of music ksgajag YOUR NAME IS BEAUTIFUL 🥰

#answered #aria 🍓 #oh right i hope you feel a bit better today