#idk if this even makes sense and i doubt anyone reads these tags but if u did im sorry u had to see me rambling like that ghdlkgldh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

Hello gorgeous !

Could you make something with a reader who is a very important fighter and in her plans she somehow married daemon as a second wife and made a deal with rhaenyra and daemon to respect and not threaten her people and kingdoms .

And when rhaenyra gets the throne , the reader asks for a divorce , breaking their hearts?

Stone Cold

Daemon Targaryen x Reader x Rhaenyra Targaryen

Summary: There was nothing more powerful than an alliance of two houses, and that was exactly what you offered the Queen and her consort to win the war. It was out of loyalty, but your heart was not as strong as your resolve.

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Mentions of death/suicidal tendencies/war, fem!reader, second wife!reader, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: Heya nonnie (pls read this)! I saw this ask and was like OMG FRESH OMG REAL OMG YAS but then the more i thought about it, the more i was thinking it wouldnt be possible, like divorce wasn't a thing then and i know i could just make something up but i- i- dont play like that. and unless you're ok with a modern au, which idk if u are, i realized i could not write this BUT THEN while i was ranting in my reply of how i think ur req would really play out, i thought fine i'll write it anyway dw its not a modern au, but it's also not exactly your request either. its still pretty angsty tho so i hope you like it <3 ALSO IDK WHO IF I WANNA BE DAEMON OR RHEANYRA IN THE GIF I LOVE THIS GIF SO MUCH T_T Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda would you like to read a tibit of an epilogue for this?

Rhaenyra was my queen; she always has been even as a child. Having grown up with rugged brothers, it was clear to me that power was only gotten through force, through sheer will, and landed only on those born to be heirs.

And yet she was declared to heir the Iron Throne, regardless of her sex.

And yet she rode on dragonback as her long braids and ornate skirts flew with the wind.

She was living proof that my brothers were morons in their belief that women were less, and that if I wanted to, I could do what they did, even better.

So against everyone's wishes, my parents, my brothers, the whole of society, I stood where I wanted and spoke about my thoughts. Though I was not welcomed, I trained to be strong enough go go against my adversaries, not just with my wit, but with my sword.

I made a way for myself in court and in battle, and developed a fortress within myself that could not be felled, not by a man, not by anyone.

So when it came high time for me show my gratitude to my queen, I did not hesitate.

I pledged my allegiance to her, and watched her navigate her plans with poise. I watched her as she caressed her pregnant belly and felt my heart hurt for her. I watched as she turned to her husband, the infamous Rogue Prince, for comfort, and found it in his touches.

Oh, to be like her, to capture the heart of the heartless, and to exude such feminine grace even in a room full of men who doubt her capabilities.

And so I finally spoke my plans to her. I finally told her the loony thought I've had since the start of my stay in Dragonstone. Our families should form an impeachable alliance and strengthen our forces.

"You are suggesting that you become my husband's second wife?" Rhaenyra states plainly. Her hand is atop her belly, and her husband stood steadfast behind her.

"It would be only for show, my queen," I nod, "you are aware of my family's stronghold, and how they insist on remaining neutral through all of this."

Rhaenyra watches me intently as I explain. Daemon tilts his head.

"This would give my brothers no choice but to fight for me-- for you."

"And how would marriage guarantee that?" Daemon asks, "I am well-acquainted with your brothers' insolence."

"You are correct, Prince Daemon. There has not been a moment in our lives where my brothers and I did not go against each other's wishes, but through it all, they have a sense of honor, and they would rather die than allow our family name be put to shame. It is why they were so against the idea of me taking up arms in the first place," I cross my arms, "but since then, they have joined me many times over in my victories. They would surely not give up the chance to bask in our victory."

Rhaenyra and Daemon take in my words.

For a moment, there is only silence. Then they look at each other, examining each other's expression.

That night, I was married to Daemon by the traditions of his house.

After he kissed me, I turned to Rhaenyra and nodded to her. She offered me a small smile and nodded back.

Since then, we exercised our might against the whole of Westeros. Those who did not know of us knew soon enough that the combined power of our houses, along with all our other alliances, was not something to be taken lightly.

And so we were tasked to spearhead the war under Rhaenyra's command. Daemon would take the east, and I would take the west. Where one needed help, the other would arrive with their blade, still slick with the blood of the enemy.

Historically, men had done nothing but strike me and spit on my bones. Though he was now my husband, I thought little of Daemon. I didn't then in the fires of his youth, and I didn't now. I bring myself to care about him out of my respect for Rhaenyra.

Yet as time went by, and battles were won and lost, I grew to respect him as himself, as Daemon Targaryen, the prince commander of the troops, who knew exactly what he was doing.

"I did not think you were capable of doing anything un-serious."

I turned to him as he smirked. His eyes were on the my cup of ale, "might my lady wife spare me a drop?"

Daemon sits next to me, though on the ground, as I was sitting on a stump I found not too far off our camp.

I peer down at him as I hand him my half empty cup.

My lips part when he downs it and places the empty thing beside him. Daemon catches my look and chuckles under his breath, "oh, did you mean to finish that?"

I don't get to respond as he grabs my leg and leans against my thigh.

My stomach rolls at the sentiment. I did not know why he was acting like this towards me so suddenly.

He releases a groan as he closes his eyes, "you are my wife, are you not? Must you stare at me as though you wish to burn me with your eyes?"

That would only be the start of his affection towards me.

It was jarring, disturbing, really, how he would reach for my hair and brush it aside, how we would reach for my cheek and brush it with the back of his hand. He would not do it in front of Rhaenyra, and for that I was at least grateful.

I decided not to make issue of it, because it was not as though it was harmful really.

And yet it dawned to me that that was my mistake; he was an invader of my fortress, and I only realized when it was too late.

I could not calm my beating heart when we were ambushed.

It was not the blade against my neck that made me want to hurl, not even how the man who managed to capture me for a few minutes was gutted on my side and had his entrails gush onto my armor. It was not the violence that made my pulse deafening to my ears, but how Daemon acted out that violence.

"Release her now, and I will be swift about your death," he seethed. When he was not listened to, his face darkened. The moment he had an opening, he stabbed my captor in the gut. When I was pulled away by our men, I watched as Daemon rampaged the man with his bare hands, smothering him until he was deformed, until he was dead.

And then he turned to me, gripping my face with his bloody hands, examining my form, "are you alright?"

That was when everything changed.

Not only did I begin to anticipate, look forward to his touches, I began to lean into them. I began to look forward to his company, seek his company. I would worry if there was not word about him, and I would worry if there was, until I knew it was not grave.

I began to laugh with him, in the privacy of our conversations, in front of the troops, in front of Rhaenyra. I began to bicker with him unabashedly, for it became second nature. I began to dance and make merry with him, for why'd shouldn't I? Why not, when Rhaenyra teased us about it, when she laughed about it with us.

And then at some point, I did the worst thing.

I began to want him.

I began to want him the way Rhaenyra did.

I began to felt entitled of him, for after all, he was my husband too.

I allowed myself believe that it was alright, Rhaenyra wouldn't mind, after all, her husband was my husband.

But then I faced with the truth of how brazen I'd become.

But then Rhaenyra called for Daemon and he did not answer.

But then she gave birth too early and held her lifeless daughter in her arms.

But then he was broken because of it, and yet made no inclination to anyone.

But then I realized I was not apart of their picture, for neither of them even spoke their sorrow to each other, much less anything to me.

I was a fool to think I was deserving of anything. I was a traitor to them and our agreement. I was a traitor to myself.

And so I rebuilt my fortress, I pulled away from Daemon's touches and did not hold Rhaenyra's gaze too long.

I became reckless in battle. I dove head first into everything, not caring what the consequences would be.

It was because of my recklessness and severe injuries that we were at the precipice of victory. Daemon should have been applauding me where he was rebuking me. And Rhaenyra should not have been worried by her husband's news of me at all, not when she would benefit the most from my death.

Yet here I was, gripped harshly in Daemon's hands as I defied his wishes to stay in bed longer.

When that didn't work, he ordered me in the name the Queen to do so, because it was, in fact, her order too.

It dawned onto Daemon that it didn't matter which of them commanded it, I would not be withheld from the cries of war.

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?" Daemon demanded finally as I got onto his last nerve.

I did not hesitate to respond.

His expression dropped when he heard me say yes.

It was against myself that I began to bawl in front of him. I had worked so hard to keep my defenses, and yet it was all for naught.

"Why?!" he heaved, hands darting up to my face instead of my arms.

I shake my head. I would have to die first before I admit anything to him.

"I will have you chained like a madwoman before I have you succumb to your darkness," he quips, releasing my face, before dragging me to the tent post, undoing his belt and binding me there with it.

I cry out to him. I tell him to release me, of all of it, so that I wouldn't have to suffer.

"Tell me wife what makes you suffer, who makes you suffer, and I will swiftly end them."

I shake my head at the anger on his face, "Daemon, please."

"TELL ME!" he quips, grabbing my face again.

I choke on my tears finding as I allow my voice to betray me.

Daemon knit his brows, "what was that?"

"It's you, Daemon," I whine, screwing my eyes shut, "it is hell to be around you. I do not want this pain anymore."

He releases me, stepping back twice, "and what mortal err have I done to make you loathe me so?"

I peel my eyes open, chest constricting at the sight of him. I shake my head, "nothing."

Daemon's nostrils flare. He grabs my jaw tightly, face tense with hatred, eyes glassy in betrayal, "then why?"

I whine at the pain of his grip.

He heaves as he releases me, shaking his head as he walks back, "will you drive me mad along with you, selfish bitch?"

I shake my head again, "Daemon-"

"ANSWER ME!"

"Because I want you!" I blurt, "I want you so bad when I should not-- I cannot!" I grip my hands tightly, "we may be married, but you are not mine. You are Rhaenyra's, and I do not wish to ever come in between that. Not after all that has-"

I cut myself off when Daemon began to undo my ties. I myself began to back away from him when he began to rid himself of his clothing.

I threaten him with my words. When that does not deter him, I threaten him with the blade I managed to snag.

He was stoic the entire time. He asked me to kill him, dared me to kill him. Of course I could not. I threw the blade to the side.

He called me a fool as he undressed me. He called me pretty when he began to kiss me. He called me his when he began to fuck me.

I shouldn't have, gods know I shouldn't have, but I did, I let him have his way, because I wanted him to. I wanted him to touch me, to use me, to take his anger out on me. I wanted to for so, so long.

It was everything I ever imagined and more.

And enjoyed it deeply before I hated myself viscerally after.

It was clear at one point that everyone knew of us. Our dynamic had drastically changed from when we were first married to now. They all knew what he and I did in the dark, but why would they care, we were, in fact, married.

I cared though.

And I guess it was the will of the Stanger to allow me that one thing before collecting my soul.

I did not fight against it. I did not try to save myself.

When I decided to take the blow for Daemon in the battle field, it was not out of my selfish desire to find freedom in the shackles I bound myself in, it was because I wanted to save him, I had to save him.

He admonished me as he carried my limp body out of the skirmish. He called my name and threatened to do his worst if I thought of closing my eyes at all.

It was nice to have made it long enough to make it through the transport, to see Rhaenyra, and her and Daemon's children that I myself found to love in my own way.

I felt bad that they all seemed to be sad that I was fading away.

I felt bad that Daemon had to be the one to carry me here.

Where was Daemon?

"He's gone to finish the war," Rhaenyra said, holding my hand firmly in hers.

"You can hear me?" I mutter as I watch her sad face.

"Of course I can, my dear," she caresses my cheek, "why wouldn't I?"

I close my eyes, "I beg your pardon, my queen."

"No!" she calls, shaking my cheek, "you cannot sleep until Daemon has returned. He is but a fortnight nigh."

I hum, "she has been so lonely though."

"Who? Who has been so lonely."

"Visenya."

Rhaenyra pulls her hand away. One of the children gasps.

"I told her that I was not her mother, that you are," I sigh, "but she told me she wanted me to stay with her."

Rhaenyra is bewildered. For a moment she is unable to do nothing. She repeats the name she called. When she is not met with a reply, she takes another moment to collect her thoughts, "you cannot answer my daughter's call. Your duty is with me, not her."

Rhaenyra's face tenses when she does not get a reply yet again.

She calls out, one, twice. She shakes the hand in her grip, and remarks once more about Daemon, knowing that would do the trick, she knows it will, it has to.

A chill runs down her spine when she realizes was for nothing.

It is too late.

#daemon targaryen fanfic #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x reader #house of the dragon fic #house of the dragon fanfic #daemon fanfic #daemon targaryen #house of the dragon #daemon angst #daemon targaryen angst #daemon x rhaenyra #hotd angst #daemon x reader x rhaenyra #daemon x rhaenyra x reader #targaryen angst #rhaenyra angst

2K notes · View notes

hypnoneghoul · 8 months

Text

Crying in the Rain

WC: 1,3K

Relationship: Raindrop (but its not exactly relationship focused)

Tags: Angst with a happy ending, idk what else, character study?

After his elemental change, Dewdrop felt like he lost all control. He was robbed of himself, of his life and shoved into body and role someone else designed.

Notes: Written for @jazz-bazz's ask that my dumbass deleted by accident. Not as angsty as I wanted it to be and weirdly written so if you think I was high when writing this no I was not... this time. I also shoved a lot of guitar stuff in there because I am myself and this was a gear talk ask sooo...

Read under the cut or on AO3.

The guitar, the Fantomen, was… pretty. It was beautiful, even, Dewdrop has always thought so, when Ifrit played it.

They made some changes for him, already, though. The pretty knobs with “H” engraved on them were changed to boring, plain silver ones, Dew didn’t know why. No one changed Aether’s knobs.

There was no space for questions, any questions, regarding all this change.

So much has changed. Has been changed.

Rest of the changes that had been inflicted on the instrument was more technical than visual. They probably just wanted Dewdrop’s playing to sound the best way possible, he doubted anyone cared about his comfort. He knew they didn’t, actually.

The strings were too thin, his fingers were shredded already. There were also too many of them, he was tumbling over the fretboard all days long not hitting the right strings, the right frets.

Ifrit was sweet, understanding and patient… not something fire ghouls were accused of being often. But even the sweetest, most understanding, those with the most patience can and will eventually run out of it.

“Droplet, it’s not that fucking hard,” he growled, slamming his hand down onto the strings of a guitar nestled in his lap. His raised voice and awful feedback the instrument let out made Dewdrop flinch.

“‘m sorry,” he whispered as he curled in on himself. As much as the big piece of lacquered wood in his own lap would allow, that is. His now dull and weirdly warm toned hair hid his face and the tears that were dangerously close to rolling down his burning cheeks.

“No, Dew, I’m sorry,” Ifrit sighed, putting a hand on the smaller ghoul’s back. Not so long ago he’d purr at the inhuman warmth but now he didn’t feel a difference. Just some additional weight. “I just, uhm… didn’t sleep well. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out.”

“It’s fine, I know I suck,” Dewdrop mumbled, barely loud enough for the other to hear.

“Dew-”

“No, don’t,” he didn’t snap, he spoke softly quietly. He was no fire ghoul. “It’s fine.”

Ifrit sighed, ran his hands down his face and even opened his mouth to speak again. Dewdrop was no longer there, a hard case for his Fantomen left empty on the floor.

They made Dewdrop’s guitar even heavier.

A few simple modifications didn’t make much difference for him, he couldn’t lie and say they didn’t make it sound better.

But they made it heavier.

It originally weighted more than his bass already and they made it heavier.

Dew wanted to cry. He did cry. He was so out of control, he sucked at guitar and he sucked at being a ghoul and he hoped he sucked enough to get banished back to the Pit. Because there was no way he’d be able to do this.

To replace Ifrit, to play lead guitar, to be a fire ghoul.

To teach Rain bass.

He stumbled under the weight of the Fantomen again, his vision was clouded with tears, his shoulders were cramped and bruised.

Why was the strap so thin? It didn’t make sense.

But, again, why would anyone care about his comfort? He was just a tool and right now he was a faulty one.

At least he was alone in the practice room.

No one heard the butchered solos and his sobs. No one saw the blood and his shaking form.

Dewdrop couldn’t touch the bass, even if it wasn’t his. It wasn’t even the same model.

Why was Rain given a choice where he had none?

But it wasn’t the new water ghoul’s fault, he didn’t even know of Dew’s life just before he was summoned. Dewdrop couldn’t be angry at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked him, seemingly out of nowhere. The fire ghoul snapped back to reality, realising Rain had asked a question and was waiting for an answer when Dew was busy staring into the distance at nothing in particular.

Are you okay? Rain has asked. How was he supposed to answer?

“Yeah, sorry, didn’t sleep well,” Dew grumbled. “What was that?”

Rain looked at him like he absolutely did not believe him. Dew wasn’t surprised, “I asked if there’s a slide the second time or just the sixth fret.”

“Just the sixth fret once more, but you can do as many slides as you want, no one will probably notice,” Dewdrop shrugged. Rain nodded and turned back to his bass.

Dew started zoning out again as the water ghoul was going over and over again on the same part of the song. His eyes were fixed on Rain’s strap. A solid piece of leather and he wondered…

“You should get a different strap,” Rain called out from the other side of the practice stage. What?

“What?” Dewdrop turned around and sized the water ghoul. Not in a hostile way, he was just… how did he know?

It was their first actual practice as a band, the rest already filtered out, only the two of them left. How did he know?

“This strap isn’t good for you,” Rain said matter-of-factly, like it was common knowledge. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t have been, he hid it so well, he wasn’t a pussy it was just a stupid strap. “Hurts your shoulder and back.”

“Oh, I- they… they gave me this one with the guitar I don’t-”

“You should take your control back, Dewdrop.”

How did he know?

He changed the strap.

Dewdrop basically broke into one of the storage rooms by the part of the Abbey dedicated to the Ghost project and stole all his old straps he could find. The wide, padded ones with grucifix pins he added himself. They were his.

Nobody but Rain seemed to notice the change on the next rehearsal. Maybe Aether or Mountain would, but they’d probably not realise the… the importance of such a small change.

Rain noticed, and warmth bloomed in Dewdrop’s chest when he smiled and nodded at him.

His shoulders weren’t bruised anymore and his back wasn’t strained.

But there was another thing that was pissing him off and… and Rain had told him to get back control, so…

Dewdrop stole a drilling machine.

He was pissed with the placement of his strap, he didn’t have that much accessibility to the highest frets which were important for lead, for playing solos.

So he stole a drilling machine.

He drilled the hole.

He moved the strap to the side, above the neck instead of where it had been nestled in the back, where the neck met the body. He shoved three toothpicks into the hole the screw left and put a few drops of white nail polish over it to make it as unnoticeable as possible.

Only Rain noticed the change, and warmth bloomed in Dewdrop’s chest when he smiled and nodded at him, again.

Dewdrop regained all control there was to regain when he first kissed Rain.

It was like something snapped inside of him, like a rope that was slowly being cut and burned until only one thread remained, and Rain was the one to snap it. He was who started cutting and burning it in the first place, after all.

One day, years later, Dewdrop crawled out of bed, Rain’s arms and went to the newly anointed Papa’s office. He asked him for a new guitar, a Stratocaster. A few different models, actually, each one with different modifications, customisations.

Because it was going to be his and his only, and no one was going to take away his control again. He let them rob him of years of his life on Earth and he was never going to give up control again.

He accepted the past.

Dewdrop was a fire ghoul now, but it was his life, he wasn’t going to waste any more of it and he was his own ghoul.

Well… maybe Rain’s too.

When he took Terzo’s grucifixes off of his straps it was his choice.

In the future, when he’d put stickers on the backs of the guitars, he wouldn’t hesitate.

Not again.

#hypnone writes #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #fanfiction #hypnone gear talks

94 notes · View notes

nburkhardt · 9 months

Text

Was talking about projecting with @i-less-than-three-you and uh….Thought of Something.

Growing up Steve wasn’t allowed opinions or talking back. It made him silent, made him want to speak up but words got caught. Doubt would start up and he just didn’t do anything.

It made life harder on himself but eventually he grew more and more. Eventually realizing he can have opinions, can voice them and eventually, talking back.

His confidence grew with it but unfortunately so did the anxiety, the doubt.

But not only that, but he was silenced too. Ignored. He’d start talking, have a good conversation with anyone but sometimes, when whoever he’s talking to doesn’t like what he said or wants to move on, they’ll talk over him and say whatever they want.

He remembers a car ride with his mother once, talking about his father and when he started admitting his disdain and annoyance with him, his mother ignored it and immediately pointed something out to him and refused to speak about the original thing. It made him feel silenced, uncomfortable and felt out ignored.

To this day it all still happens, not so much with his parents anymore. They’re too wrapped up into their business, not at all concerned about him anymore. But it happens with his friends and found family, his brain has definitely trained him into snapping his mouth shut when it happens now.

It’ll always hurt, he thinks, knows.

Does it make sense?? I hope it reads okay. I was rambling/venting by projecting onto Steve (again)

Under the cut is a vent/explanation and my taglist (idk if this counts as a fic but I’m sure you’ll all want to be informed that I am still here thinking up ideas & can write. Wips just aren’t there yet ☹️)

btw: peeps on my taglist is this something you wanna be tagged on or do you just want to just be tagged on fics??

I didn’t notice it was even happening until recently. But my family does this thing when I’m talking and they’re not happy with whenever or wants to move on or doesn’t care for what I’m saying, they’ll switch the topic. They’ll come up with an excuse or mumble under their breath, or just say something else entirely.

It didn’t click until I started actively changing my outlook with everything. (Also when I had a fucking massive breakdown in the middle of quarantine in 2020) Once you notice it, it’s hard to ignore. It happened to me just recently again, I was trying to talk to my mom about some family issues and I started to notice her shaking her head and then immediately mumbled about something she was looking at. It made me shut up immediately and realized she wasn’t going to hear me.

It’s a constant battle and I always lose the words to speak up.

Anyway, taglist!!!!

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @bookworm0690 @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @grimmfitzz

#i’m projecting again #steve harrington hc #Steve Harrington #nburkhardt writes #it probably doesn’t make sense tbh I’m a little high and just rambling

107 notes · View notes

lostcauses-noregrets · 1 month

Note

Lost help 😩😩 A sizable number of eruris also seem to enjoy zevi but I just can't get behind it 😭😭 I don't even get the appeal (can you actually explain it to me like actually actually 😭😭) My dislike for Zeke > content from authors I enjoy 😓😓 Zeke is so cold, heartless, and selfish. Like, his mind is stuck in his own selfmade diy echo chamber 😵‍💫😵‍💫 The Levi of my-own-interpretations wouldn't ever get with someone who doesn't value human life like Zeke. Some people may think "Well, Erwin doesn't value human life either" but we see Erwin suffering from guilt. If he thought of his comrades as anything less than human, we wouldn't see him being burdened by his decisions 😶😶He shoulders the responsibility of his decisions and is keenly aware that his decisions and commands sometimes lead to deaths of many. We literally him standing on a pile of corpses in his own mind 😩😩 If he saw his comrades as mere pawns in his quest for Truth, he wouldn't be affected by any lives lost. Idk it irks me when I see people equating Zeke to Erwin, and I see Zeke and Levi's relationship as hostile more than anything 😵😵

I’m not sure I’m the best person to explain the attraction of Zevi! To say I’m not a fan of Zeke would be the understatement of the century, and I have the #zevi tag blocked on all my socials. Having said that, I can kinda see why Zevi is catnip to some fans. Whichever way you look at it, Erwin, Levi and Zeke’s stories are entangled in canon and Levi and Zeke have a very powerful antagonistic relationship. Not only did Zeke kill Erwin, but he is the living embodiment of Levi’s vow. That kind of relationship is a gift to fic writers. Added to which, Zeke, he is a really well-written complex character with considerable depth. For some fans it’s just a straight up case of hate shipping. Hate shipping isn’t my thing, but it’s as old as fandom and I’m not going to judge anyone who is into it. More often than not in Eruri fics Zeke is a convenient plot device. He often appears as Levi’s abusive and / or manipulative current or ex partner. (I’ve never been entirely convinced by this scenario, but whatever.) This enables Erwin to ”save” Levi. In some cases he might be the knight in shining armour who rescues Levi from his abusive partner. In others, he enables Levi to see for himself what a piece of shit Zeke really is, giving him the motivation and courage to leave and move on.

Although I try to avoid Zevi like the plague, I have read a few fics by authors I admire that feature past Zevi. One fic I love, which isn’t past Zevi, but which really gets to the heart of Levi and Zeke’s complicated relationship is When in doubt, use violence by no_tengo_porque Levi and Zeke have a really antagonistic relationship from the moment they meet, however they are drawn to each other for reasons Levi doesn’t initially understand. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read it, but it’s a really interesting dynamic.

Comparing Erwin to Zeke makes no sense to me at all though. They are polar opposites in many ways. Killing is a game to Zeke, and he actively seems to revel in it at times, whereas Erwin is plagued by guilt over every death under his command. Zeke is egotistical and remains stubbornly convinced that his own plan is the right one, while Erwin sees his own actions in the worst possible light and believes he is a fraud for pursuing his own dream (despite the fact it aligns with Saving Humanity.) They really couldn’t be more different.

I guess at the end of the day we all interpret these characters differently and we all have our own preferences, likes and dislikes. I dislike Zevi intensely, but if other Eruri authors enjoy it for whatever reason, I’m not going to judge, I just quietly filter out those works and move on.

#asks #eruri #fanfiction #erwin smith #levi ackerman #zeke yeager #snk

17 notes · View notes

junkshop-disco · 6 months

Text

Just posted a new chapter so what better time for a fic meme. Tagged by @magicalrocketships but idk if I have any better screen grabs than theirs.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

38, which makes the average word count completely ridiculous.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,048,397. Average word count 27,589. Brevity, I don't know her.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Downton Abbey, Fate the Winx Saga, Good Omens currently.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Honeysuckle Arch

Learning to Speak the Language of Flowers

An Equal and Opposite Reaction

Instalments

The Could in People

Whenever I look at the stats, I'm taken aback at just how skewed my sense of which fics are the most popular is. Because I would not have guessed some of these at all.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I am--at heart--a deeply anxious squirrel masquerading as a person and any sort of interaction with people I don't know well can sometimes be too much for me to handle. When my anxiety is bad, I imagine that every single comment will be about how shit my writing is and what an awful person I am, so I can't read them right away, let alone reply. I have to work up to them and do a couple at a time and I always intend to reply but sometimes, weeks/months/years pass without me feeling up to it and then it feels too awkward. Right now my anxiety is much better thanks to lots of medication and some pretty hefty life changes, so I'm more able to engage with them like a vaguely normal person, but sometimes if I have a bad week, opening the comment box to reply 'thanks! Glad you liked it' makes me feel like James Bond sitting nose to nose with an armed bomb. I do hold onto comments, though. I screen grab ones that really resonated and re-read them when I feel down. They mean a great deal to me, even if I can't always say so in a timely fashion.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's definitely a Merlin fic, possibly Doubt Creeps In? That whole thing is pretty angsty and there's no real resolution. I wrote a few angsty endings in Merlin fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Idk that I've ever written truly happy ending. I've written cute endings, give-them-a-break endings, but I don't know if I'd describe any of them as happy. I don't tend to go in for them. Nothing winds me up more than an epilogue with a pasted on happy ending. I have been known to hurl a book across the room.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't for a while but I used to when I wrote HP fic. My favourite ever was 'you should be flayed for writing this. I hope you die.' I still laugh when I think about it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. All kinds? I have written the odd fade to black in my time and also the most unremitting filth in all flavours of vanilla to kinky.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written a handful. Back on LJ I wrote a Merlin/Twilight crossover where Edward and Merlin team up to fight evil vampire unicorns who can only be killed by virgins singing at them until they explode.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep. Tbh I just feel sad for the people who do it. It seems like a very hollow way to do fandom.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep. And podficced! It's always nice.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've done a few Big Bangs and other events where I collaborated with someone and it's always one of my favourite things to do. I've also co-written some... stuff on anon, which we're not going to talk about 👀

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Can anyone pick just one? Like Hotel California, I check out but I never leave. I am still here for Mulder and Scully, Mal and Inara, Tara and Willow, Giles and Jenny, Bradley and Colin, Merlin and Gwaine, Nick and Harry and Niall, Isak and Even, Remus, Lily, Sirius and Tonks, Crowley and Aziraphale, Thomas and Richard, Ed and Stede, Farah and Saul. The ships I love never leave me and picking a favourite would make me sad.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

If I'm posting it, it will get finished. I have a couple of things languishing on my hard drive that may never see the light of day, like a Thomas in LA fic post DA2, but I can't not finish things.

16. What are your writing strengths?

A commitment to the bit? An unwavering belief there's never a bad time for banter? An unfailing devotion to poking people's bruises?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

See above.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Would attempt only in a comedy situation where getting it wrong was the point.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Firefly. The first one I posted in was HP though, rip.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Saying I'm fond of all of them would be such a cop out, wouldn't it? In truth, my favourite is usually the one I'm currently writing, so let's say Sum of the In-between Things. It's morphed so far from what I intended it to be and I have literally no idea if I can stick the landing on it, but I've genuinely had a blast writing it, and that's the point, isn't it?

Tagging: @septemberrie @myalchod and @magnolia822!

#meme me #stuff about writing

14 notes · View notes

sleepsonfutons · 7 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers!

Ope it's double tag time >:D thanks @spockandthings & @bazzybelle for the tags~

This one's got length to it so get the scoop under the cut lol

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Shoot, how many do I have... let's see now... ooooh, that'd be 18!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Eyyyy 104,261 since I started posting last year :3

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Sandman and The Witcher, though mostly Sandman so far lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

hmmmm, those would be...

In Awe, I Stand -> 370 kudos

Dream of the Dark -> 226 kudos

My Comfort. Your Touch. -> 216 kudos

Every Inch of Me -> 161 kudos

Starlight, Star-Bright -> 139 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best to, yes indeed! That doesn't always means it happens though cuz life and energy and honestly attention-span...but I read every single comment I get and cherish them. They are bright spots in my day and I like to share the joy I've been gifted with the person who gave it when I'm able 💖

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ohoho that's gotta be Don't Ask Me To Say Goodbye!! I have Plans for that AU, but as it currently stands it's angst-central with only heartbreak~

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings I wanna say, but happiest has got to be a toss-up between Starlight, Star-Bright and My Comfort. Your Touch. They're both super soft, self-indulgent delights :3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

*knocks on wood* nah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do [hellmo.gif] How do you feel about potatoes? (but also like relatively "normal" stuff: butt stuff, mouth stuff, touching stuff, eldritch stuff, basically a variety of different stuff >;3 LOL)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not so far, though I'd not be opposed to writing one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

*knocks on wood again* not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, but open invite to anyone who might want to! Just give me a shout when you're done cuz I'd love to see~

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HECK YE!!!! @phinofthestorm is outstanding and I literally can't say enough nice things about writing with her! The amount of time we've spent on the same brainwave with our collab fic As a Stranger I Know Myself has been mindblowing and fantastic!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Honestly, I'll never get over GrimmIchi (Bleach) I don't think lol. The nostalgia factor is unbeatable at this point.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Truss Me Up But Never Leave Me Hanging probably fits the bill best, much to my chagrin. It was meant to be a canon-verse Dreamling shibari fic, but *vague handwaving* I wound up getting in my head over whether I could write it to the level of accuracy/quality I feel it deserves

16. What are your writing strengths?

Setting the scene? aka "purple prose" and metaphors

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Concise, "non-flowery" writing in general and dialogue

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean if it makes sense, idk why not. Only caveat to that is if it's not a language you speak yourself, definitely get someone who does speak that language to proof it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Witcher with the bday fic I wrote for my bestie: Where You Least Expect It

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Dang, twist my arm why don't'cha... Sheesh favorite fic I've written... I love 'em all honestly, but I reckon Along the Garden Path, We Meet. It's just a short little thing though Dream being a lil shit to Hob early on, before even their first centennial meeting in 1489, absolutely sends me every time.

Woooo we made it to the end! Now to torment tag to join the fun with 0-whole pressure @seiya-starsniper @phinofthestorm @mentallyinvernation @certifiedbisexualdisaster @blueberrymffn @gabessquishytum @delta-pavonis @aquabluejay

#tag game #20 questions #sof gets tagged #sof answers

7 notes · View notes

ilikecheeseandchocolatee · 15 days

Text

Kinda vent post? Like not really but it’s just me rambling. Read the tags before the post tho (very important!!!!!!)

I’ve decided to hole up on tumblr for a while because no one here knows me so I can be weird and mentally I’ll without judgement.

Today is a day. Like i can’t describe it as “the worst” day out of the recent bad days because honestly it was quite peaceful. But it was bad in the sense that my mental health is seriously kicking my ass and like. I like playing Bin Weevils, i love my bin pet whom I’ve named Unicorn, i love playing with her. I love watching Big Hero 6 the series, i love watching miraculous ladybug. I love watching Thai dramas. I love playing my towers of Hanoi thing (i time myself a lot, it’s 8 rings) and i love the toy thing with bubbles like you push it in and then flip it around and push it in again and it makes a satisfying pop sound idk what it’s called. I love all of those things but i tried to do them to cheer myself up but then i just didn’t wanna do any of it. Not even the popping thing. I just ended up laying in bed with a pillow wrapped around my head to make me feel better. After months of being better I considered downloading Township again, which is a game i play to make myself less suicidal. Which i have been recently. Except this is NOT a good time because A, the game is super addictive and I’ll be stuck on it for AT LEAST a week before I’ll be able to pull myself off it. And B, my A Levels are next month and i haven’t actually covered my entire syllabus yet. I have a month to teach myself all my subject material AND prepare myself for the exam and as of right now im doing none of it. Because i get up late and when I do I just stay in bed and don’t have the motivation to do anything.

My mental health is REALLY kicking my ass rn.

But i did cheer up today. Because of the stupidest thing. I read the Elon Musk deposition and it was so ridiculous in some places that i laughed. Yes, i read the entire thing. It has so much entertainment value and i highly recommend it for those who are bored. And because of that i cheered up for the few hours that are left of my day now.

So then Bigil was gonna be on TV and i wanted to watch it because it looked cool, so TV time. Bigil is a Tamil movie released in 2019 (correct me if I’m wrong about this) and it’s about football and empowering women and it’s a really good movie. And it has one of my favourite actors so that was a plus. I also cried like 3 times during the movie because some parts are SO EMOTIONAL. i doubt anyone reading this will watch Bigil but spoiler alert anyway: when the dad is stabbed and he jumps out of the train, that was the first time I cried. Because Michael jumped out of the train to Delhi and cue action scene where he slaughters all the people that killed his dad, doing exactly what his dad had NOT wanted for him. He had wanted him to go to Delhi and be a national football player and never become a violent gánster like himself, but that’s EXACTLY what Bigil did the moment his dad was stabbed. He jumped off the train. And beat everyone up. And it was breaking my heart.

Spoiler alert again: the second time I cried was when the second MIA player was having her story told where that chuttad smashed her face with what i think was an egg filled with acid? And it was just so fucking heartbreaking I can’t talk about it. And the third time I cried was when another player was dumped out of the back of a Jeep in a fucking sack and when they opened the sack she was barely conscious and she’d been forcefed huge amounts of cocaine. That just probably made me break down (/nsrs) it was so horrible and heartbreaking.

I did cry again at the end of the movie but that was crying from joy because it was a good ending and it cheered me up immensely.

Unfortunately when the movie was over it was already like 23:20 for me so now i don’t have long left I should sleep. It’s 00:49.

But yeah my mental health is kicking my ass in terms of my academic endeavours and i really don’t appreciate that. Idk what to do to get myself to function normally again. My mom’s being super supportive of me now that she knows I’m mentally ill, but it still sucks because at least, before she found out she wasn’t so worried about me. After the doctors told her she broke down crying and ever since then she’s way too worried for me. Which is probably justified right now actually because it’s been so so hard to not kill myself. Im literally making exact plans in my head which is NOT good. And i keep zoning back in to realize that im singing a song in my head, and they’re like tunes of the muffin man rhyme or like some pop song but my brain’s using “i wanna die” and “im gonna kill myself” as lyrics. Which is. Disturbing. I didn’t think I’d be like this again after I was started on medications.

It was very sinister this morning zoning in and realising that im singing to the tune of the muffin man. “Im gonna kill myself, gonna kill myself, gonna kill myself” with all the cheeriness of the original rhyme. It was just. I’d say traumatising but in this case it’s my own brain giving me that trauma.

That’s really not something I want to do to myself.

I seem to keep alternating between “i wanna die because i don’t deserve happiness” and “i wanna die because i don’t deserve all the bad stuff happening to me”. Like brain, pick a side. Why exactly are we dying. Is life a good thing or not. Am i happy right now or not. I genuinely desire to know. What exactly is making me want to die.

Even if it’s mental illness, like what is it stemming from exactly. Okay my autism clinician said that i went into depression because of my autism and at the time I disagreed with him but recently I’ve started thinking maybe he’s not wrong, he’s right but not because of the reasons he’s thinking of. I know me being different from everyone else pisses me off a lot because i just want to fit in you know. Feel like i belong somewhere. And maybe the frustration of never having that is making me depressed.

I just. It’s different to what I’ve thought my entire life. Memory issues kick my ass too but for as long as I’ve known, in middle school i thought I was going crazy BECAUSE i wanted to kill myself so bad and that’s not a normal thing. Clinician hypothesised that i wanted to kill myself because i thought I was crazy? Okay maybe but idk. I’ve always believed the former but. What if the clinician is not wrong. Like what if I thought I was different and that’s why i wanted to kill myself, which led me to believe I was crazy. Like i knew I was different but i don’t think I paid that much attention to my difference. Like as much as the fact that people hated me and i hated myself. It is so so weird wanting to kill yourself when you’re barely conscious of the concept of death. I was a child. No child deserved that, not even me. With all the bitchiness that i had ih me back then. Even I didn’t deserve feeling like that at such a tiny age.

Every since finding out that im depressed and autistic, I’ve tried to help myself in any way I can but idk HOW. I’ve tried so many things that I’ve grown immune to practically every method I can think of. I go outside look at the sun look at trees touch grass and shit and all I can think is “im sweating. I wanna die.” I go to a public library and sit there in the midst of hundreds of books and i think “I’ll never be able to acquire all of the knowledge this library holds. I wanna die.” It rains. “My socks are wet. I wanna die.” I listen to upbeat music. “I wanna make an AMV of this so bad and i still haven’t made all the AMVs I’ve planned. Wanna die.” I listen to sad music. “Life is sad. Wanna die.” I literally will watch a show that i LIKE and ENJOY and that makes me HAPPY, but a couple episodes in i just turn it off because it’s not hitting and there’s no point. Like in the past idk decade of being depressed I’ve tried so many things that now i just feel immune to any motivating thing I come across. Now the things that motivate me are unconventional things like the Elon Musk deposition of today.

I don’t have time for this stuff right now. I need to study. I need to get past this and i need to get into university this year and i need to do so many things. And it’s a lot. I don’t have time to sit and slowly try to make myself function again. What i need to do is study. And fucking plane tickets or whatever.

Honestly when I go back to England this time I’m probably not gonna be able to stop myself from becoming violent if anyone at school pisses me off even once. And i probably don’t want to stop. The nice people won’t piss me off it’s only the gaands that will piss me off and they definitely deserve some kicks to the ass, accounting for all the times in the past 2 years that they’ve pissed me off.

Swearing in Hindi feels so freeing like no one will be able to tell I’m calling them an ass or a dick. They’re just sounds to generic white people. I could say it with a sweet tone and they wouldn’t be able to do anything because even if they think it’s a swear they can’t prove it because they don’t know Hindi and im saying it to them nicely anyway. Imagine saying “tere baap ke chuttad se nikla hua gadha” in a sweet voice and them doing absolutely nothing about it. Actually yes, im gonna do that if only to give them hell for being dicks during year 12.

Okay i feel better now with my new game plan. I might even work out again so I can put my karate skills to use. Im never seeing anyone from that school again, might as well go out with a bang.

Unconventional motivation to keep living. 👍

Anyway yeah it’s 01:15 i should probably go to bed now.

3 notes · View notes

broomsticks · 1 year

Note

One of the things that also bothers me about the “you must experience *insert trauma* in order to write darkfic about” narrative it is that it requires disclosure (which not all people want to do) and sometimes even veers into the territory of having to provide proof. When people like survivors of assault often have compounded trauma of not having evidence, having people doubt them or try to ruin their credibility. They don’t need to also face that from people because they read/wrote a FANFIC.

It also fosters this culture where people think it’s normal/acceptable to share really explicit trauma with strangers with little warning. And then even use it as a trump card. Like Person A might say, “Really loved *insert fic with an age gap relationship*”, and a total STRANGER feels entitled to say, “Wow, well I *insert graphic description of grooming/assault/etc*, so—” When 1) you don’t know what Person A has been through (again, gets at forced disclosure), and 2) you’re potentially triggering people by making them unexpectedly have to read something that they might not be in the right headspace to see.

Idk. I feel like I’m not saying this in a way that makes sense but I have a lot of feelings about it.

unnecesarily rambling answer inc. first of all: i completely agree with you. that’s the point of my tag #a psa on forced disclosure (see also the last reblog). i’ve seen writers get wildly dogpiled on and ‘forced’ into disclosing why they made the writing choices that they did, and it’s awful. fuck that. bad enough when the person whose identity/legitimacy under attack is a mainstream trad pub author (or professional actor) who has an entire professional team to manage this for them — but fanfic authors??? regular people? whose fic was maybe only intended to be read by like five people and who are just hoping their efforts in this silly little hobby will make their lives a little more bearable, a little more fun even? no real people are getting hurt, except maybe people who have wandered into a space they weren’t meant to be in, that wasn’t meant for them. yeah no patience for that here — and all the sympathy for these poor authors. you did not deserve that. you do not need to justify yourselves. also: the only things you are obligated to warn for on AO3 are the four major archive warnings. CNTW is a perfectly valid option too. ANYTHING else is courtesy.

as a very happy enjoyer of darkfic, if i have any trauma at all, it is entirely my business to decide who i want to tell, how, what, when, etc! my choice to not disclose anything publicly here—including age and pronouns—is 100% intentional i promise. i could be a minor. i’m on multiple 18+ discord servers. i’m not a minor 😂 i could be a swamp thing. if the possibility of that makes you uncomfortable genuinely please leave, i do not want to make anyone uncomfortable here!

ON a very different note — that said, there are benefits to disclosing! very different from Trauma (or is it?) but i personally found it extremely helpful that a lot of these fics were tagged or otherwise mentioned in the a/ns to be written by disabled authors. same too with POC characters, and gender/sexual minorities — it makes me a) more likely to seek these fics out, and b) read them with a slightly different eye than i might otherwise. so. i reiterate, not an obligation, AT ALL, but i’m very thankful for any authors who feel safe enough to share these things about themselves!

i also do wonder if choosing to disclose and talk about it might be empowering, in a way — but to be clear: this is a completely separate discussion from forced disclosure. i hardly imagine forced disclosure is empowering for anybody lol.

#also i do have to say that i’ve never encountered this level of egregious oversharing hahaha #maybe bc of well modded discord servers or bc of selective memory/i Do Not See (i don’t doubt that it could happen!!)#i am very cozy here in my happy little fandom bubble of very filtered tumblr dash and excited discord screaming!#took a while to curate/find people but HELL YEAH IS IT WORTH IT #leftsidedown tag #answered asks #a psa on forced disclosure

15 notes · View notes

matan4il · 2 years

Note

One of the reasons I'm still 95% confident in Buddie Canon is Ryan's acting choices. And I don't think they are just gonna be surprised one day like by the way here's next week's script you guys become a couple. I think since at least S3 they were given a heads up at least a bit. Also as someone who knows of shows where actors intentionally tried to get another LI by switching up the chemistry with other characters--- if Ryan didn't want to go that way he definitely could have sold Anna better. Not sure if that makes sense??

But we constantly for 3 seasons have gotten his subtle nods and sometimes I think we just don't appreciate it as much as we should. Ryan's portrayal of Eddie has definitely morphed into how petty he can be in the funnest way possible. With Buck its in the cute way he teases him, it reminds me of a boy pulling a girl's pony tale. With Taylor it's that subtle cattiness he adds to it and I love it.

I just really don't think Ryan would lean into it much if he wasn't given direction and wasn't aware where it was going.

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask!

Oh, for sure there’s no other satisfying outcome for either Buck, Eddie OR Chris. That kid also deserves to have these morons working it out and getting together. Without a doubt, the possibility of canon Buddie has been talked about. I think Ryan mentioned back in s2 that he and Oliver talked about this and showed each other Buddie edits, Tim also mentioned discussing this in the writers room, JLH also came out strongly for Buddie during s3, so if it happens, it will hardly be a surprise to anyone.

TBH, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out Ryan and Oli have always been making acting choices with Buddie in mind. They indicated early on that they’d be on board with it, which is the most any actors can say in those cases where the execs hadn’t come out and stated anything concrete. I get what you’re saying about switching up the chemistry and it def happens on some shows. IDK about Ana, because if Ryan was explicitly told to sell awkwardness with her, I don’t think he would have gone against orders, but I do believe that between those early statements and also that one interview in s3 ahead of the finale where Ryan was basically, “Abby who? Abby’s been replaced with Eddie!” that this is exactly what Ryan would prefer as long as it’s up to him.

I think Ryan and Oliver both give performances where it’s evident that their characters couldn’t be more in love with each other. Every facial expression, every glance, every show of fondness and joy and contentment just to be together, even the way they’re physically so in sync on calls, but only with each other, we haven’t seen them portraying their characters being that in tune, that comfortable, that teasing, that happy around anyone else on or off the job...

IDK if that means they were given directions on this, though I do think in s2 the show def deliberately wanted to set things up for canon Buddie being an option at some point, and I am as sure as I can be without any confirmation that if it were up to Ryan and Oliver, Buddie would be canon. Did I mention they freaking named our ship?

Thank you again, lovely! I hope you have a great day! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #ryan guzman #oliver stark #ask #anon ask #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

84 notes · View notes

chronicowboy · 6 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my love @shitouttabuck thank you soooo much i'm so bored catching up on lectures

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

66 for buddie but 79 overall

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

609,231 HA WHAT

3. what fandoms do you write for?

used to write for tfatws and aos but now it's 911 or nothin

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

let's build this house (into a home, baby) did not know this was my top so glad it is tho my absolute baby beloved

please? (can't say no) okay fair i do love this one surprised it's number 2 tho

memory (all alone in the moonlight) okayyyyy

not all of us are heroes (not all of us are brave) my titles are so shit i had to check to remember which one this was but yeah kinda slay

accidents happen (but i will love you on purpose) so glad this stupid silly turned heavy romantic little fic made it into top 5

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

on my bigger fics i always always do my best to reply to every comment just because of how much effort i poured into it and i want my wonderful beautiful commenters to know how grateful i am for the comments, i try to on my smaller fics but the reality of the matter is my brain is unimaginative when it comes to thank yous and i'm terrible at keeping up with shit like that but just know i read all of them and appreciate them sooooo goddamn much !!!!!!!!!!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am probably incapable of angsty endings even when i write incredibly angsty fics so uh it'd probably some of my cross-posted little lightning era ficlets like i couldn't say no which is very chris-centred

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally like 99% of them are sappily happy because i'm disgusting and fragile when it comes to these men but it'd probably be the gross, gooey ending of the safe haven baby fic

8. do you get hate on fics?

no?????? idk if i'm just very lucky or have blocked it out but i don't think so

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i do but like. in the loosest possible sense. i try to keep it as vague and non-explicit as possible unless it's crucial to the story bc i am pretty sure i'm a little lesbian and dicks freak me out!!!

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i mean. i guess technically the parks and rec au could be considered a crossover of some sorts what with lil sebastian but apart from that.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't think so?

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of but i have had a podfic made which is awesome!!!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no god i feel like that would stress me out way too much. like i'd love to write with some of you beautiful minds on here but i am very poor at deadlines and group projects either make me incredibly stressy and lazy or control freaky and i wouldn't want to inflict that upon anyone

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

fuck. i mean. that's just. i feel like with 66 works and like 300k words you'd expect it to be buddie and i love them deeply but at the heart of me i am a merthur girlie through and through. they were the og. they were my whole world. they still are. nothing like two tragic little gay men so devoted to each other that it makes them severely fucked up!!!!!

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh my god. fuck. huh. there are like five aus that i am so desperate to write and have kinda-sorta planned but to call them wips would be very generous. there's the queer bar au which i WILL write one day, then the game night au, the nice guys au oh my god i love her deeply, the new girl au of course bc nickeddie has me in a chokehold despite not writing a word of him and then the merthurbuddie au i actually will never write bc i know it'd be 300k words long and take up the entirety of my life for like a solid year.

16. what are your writing strengths?

uh dialogue? i've always been told my writing's very cinematic and i'm experimenting more with scripts (play mostly but a little bit of tv and film) in my creative writing course.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

oh god. description. i feel like there's never enough between my dialogue idk. and my description is always so like. functional. i got scared of purple prose in high school and overcorrected somewhere along the way lollllll

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i love it, i try to avoid it because i always overestimate what i'll be able to remember from 5 years of spanish courses and then end up thoroughly humbling myself, would love to do it more but yeah apparently my brain just doesn't cooperate with other languages which suckssss

19. first fandom you wrote for?

okay well. it was marvel. and it was sambucky i think. either that or some irondad on this blog. but we're going to ignore that!!!!!! it was a dark time!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

oooh boy oh man. um. want to say no rizz kink fic bc i had so much fun writing it but i know it's one of my aus. i just can't decide between neighbours, parks and rec, national treasure or gilmore girls. whoops

tagging: uh feel like i'm very late to the party so ignore if you've already been tagged lol @butchdiaz @eddiebabygirldiaz @folk-fae @piningeddiediaz if u guys want <3

#sami rambles #oh my god i have to catch up on a 2 hour grammar lecture after this (HELL!!!!) but this was a nice break #very fun until you asked me to choose between my babies!!#tag game #mutuals <3

6 notes · View notes

chenziee · 1 year

Text

Ash

Attempt #idk-how-many to see if this finally shows up in the goddamned tags because I care about this verse and this fic okay

Once again, I bring you an offering of some extremely soft Lawlu with a dash of Law being embarrassingly in love (which really isn't any different from canon), feat. Law taking some romantic phrases and little bit too literally.

This is part 3 of the vivre card/Ashes of Life series but as usual, you absolutely don't need to have read the other two for this to make sense!

! Manga spoilers for chapters 1030 onward, mostly 1043 and 1044 ! Light angst with a happy ending and a lot of comfort :)

[ Read on AO3 | Full Series | Ko-Fi ]

—————

The Skull Dome of Onigashima was shaking, pieces of rubble and wood falling off the ceiling and walls. It was no wonder with all the fierce battles that were going on—really, in Law’s opinion it was more of a shock that the building was still standing after their fight with Kaido on the roof, the All Stars and Tobi Roppo going wild all over the place, not to mention the Straw Hats. They were probably doing more damage than all their enemies combined. Hell, Straw Hat himself came crashing through the goddamned floor only minutes earlier riding a pink fucking dragon.

How very Straw Hat-ya, Law thought to himself with some undeniable, if questionable, amusement.

“The fuck are you smiling about, Trafalgar?” Eustass asked with disgust.

Law scowled, quickly wiping the smile off his face as he looked at his tentative ally. “Speak for yourself,” Law shot back, eyeing the manic grin on Eustass’ lips.

Seriously.

He was surrounded by idiots.

First Straw Hat and Roronoa, now Eustass—all of them a bit too happy to pick fights with people for no reason for Law taste.

Although, Law didn’t have much room to talk.

Huffing to himself, Law stood up to his full height, leaning Kikoku’s long blade against his shoulder as he took in Big Mom’s large, threatening presence. She was staring down at them, hair aflame, sword in one hand, thunder cloud in the other. Random things brought to life were dancing at her feet, all of them laughing and taunting him and Eustass. A wide smile was plastered on her face, a smile that couldn’t be more different from the one Straw Hat always wore whenever facing a strong enemy. It was icy cold, born not of the thrill of battle but of pure bloodthirst, lacking any care for anything or anyone.

Law much preferred Straw Hat’s idiotic, excited grins even though they always gave him a headache in the end.

“You have that disgusting expression on your face again,” Eustass said with a click of his tongue.

“Fuck off, Eustass-ya. Focus on the enemy,” Law retorted but he schooled his expression back to neutral.

What was he even doing, thinking about Straw Hat while he had Big Mom raging and ready to kill right in front of him? How stupid. But somehow, he couldn’t help but feel lighter because of it. Because that’s what Luffy did, wasn’t it? Making people stop doubting themselves, giving them hope when there was none, pushing them forward when they saw no path ahead.

Even now, he was on the roof fighting Kaido after he was already defeated twice, stubbornly charging forward to show the way to all the warriors fighting inside the Skull Dome. He would beat Kaido no matter what it took, no matter how many times he got beat down—he would always bounce back like the rubbery idiot he was and finally bring dawn to Wano. And Law had no doubt that he would succeed.

Shaking his head to clear it, Law chased all these useless thoughts away. No matter how confident in their—and Luffy’s—victory he was, they were still facing two Emperors.

Really, having fought them both, he could describe them as nothing but monsters. And honestly… It was fun. And even if it meant he had to work with Eustass, he would make sure to drag Big Mom down from her perch, from the comfortable, untouchable seat of an Emperor of the Sea.

The Rocks’ era was over two years ago.

Now, it was their era to claim.

Flexing his hand, a smirk pulled on Law’s lips. How much would it take to dethrone two relics of a time long gone? How much to claim their seats?

He was sure they were going to find out soon.

“K-Room.”

He was going to bring Big Mom down right here, right now. And then he was going to watch Luffy as he tore the rest of the old world down.

—————

Gasping for breath, Law finally let himself drop to the floor, completely spent. For a moment, he wondered if he could just pass out and sleep for a week now—he deserved at least that after overusing his awakened powers and sending Big Mom who knows how far underground, right?

“Captain!!”

He heard his crew cheer from somewhere but he didn’t bother looking in that direction; he only closed his eyes, leaning his back against the rubble as he relaxed. Now the only things that remained was cleaning out the fodder, the All Stars, and Kaido.

Law took a deep breath, focusing his Observation Haki to gauge the situation. Honestly, it was near impossible to tell what was even going on inside the Dome but he couldn’t say he cared. It was enough that he couldn’t find either King’s, Queen’s or Jack’s presence. Beside that… the only thing that mattered to him was the roof.

“Straw Hat-ya,” Law muttered, finally opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling where he could sense Luffy’s and Kaido’s Voices.

They were both much weaker than they were at the start of this night but they were still raging to go… although Law could tell Straw Hat was about as exhausted as Law himself. It wouldn’t be long for that fight to be over as well.

“Captain! Are you okay?!” Bepo asked with urgency as he fell to his knees next to Law to check him over.

Law only hummed noncommittally, barely paying attention while he focused on the Voices above. Why were there three now?

And then… there were only two again.

And a split second later… only one.

A single Voice.

And it wasn’t Luffy.

Law’s eyes widened as he shot up, ignoring his protesting body that refused to move. He needed to make sure.

Law paid no attention to Bepo’s cry, the mink probably shocked from the speed and suddenness of his best friend’s movement, but Law just didn’t care. Not now.

“Room,” he growled, a tiny sphere appearing around his hand for a second before it flickered out of existence again. Law clicked his tongue impatiently, before trying again, "Fucking—Room.”

Finally, his power listened to him and a Room came to life, holding stable, and Law continued, turning his hand up to his chest. “Scalpel.”

“Captain, what are you doing?!” Bepo cried in alarm.

“Not now, Bepo,” Law snapped.

“Have you finally lost it, Trafalgar?” Eustass asked then, voice mocking.

“Shut up!” Law really didn’t have the patience for any of them right now. He could feel his heart being a mile per second as he took it out of his ribcage, his breathing shallow while his mind went completely blank, his vision narrowing until he could barely see anything. “Hold this,” he told Bepo absent-mindedly before he dropped his heart into Bepo’s lap.

He could hear Bepo fumbling to grab it, probably terrified something would happen to the organ with it being treated so carelessly by its owner.

Law, however, simply reached into the hole that was left in his chest, searching—searching for something that should be so easy to grab but that he simply couldn’t find. It couldn’t be gone, it simply couldn’t… Where is it? Please no no no—

Finally, his fingers touched something that didn’t belong in the crevice and Law quickly took it out, clenching it in his fist for a moment. He was scared to look at it. He could already feel it—he could feel the burn, feel the size, feel it falling apart. He didn’t want to look but there was nothing else for him, nothing to do, no way to avoid it. Fuck, he could hear it from his Voice anyway.

He was just so scared.

Taking a shaky breath, Law opened his hand to look at the piece of paper on his palm—or what was left of it.

“Did you seriously just pull a vivre card out of your fucking chest? Are you actually insane?” Eustass asked with his voice completely blank and Law could just imagine the weirded out expression he was probably wearing right then. But then, Eustass continued, “Wait. Don’t tell me that’s—”

“Straw Hat…” Bepo breathed quietly, carefully.

Law didn’t react to either of them. He only gulped heavily, watching as the tiny, oh so tiny piece of paper moved weakly across his palm, getting smaller with every second as the edges burned more and more. There was barely anything left. Barely enough to hang onto any hope.

“What are you doing?” Law growled, but he could barely hear himself. There was a hum in his ears, a white noise that didn’t mean anything, didn’t serve any purpose but to drive him even more mad.

He refused to believe this.

The paper had to be lying.

There was simply no way, no way that Luffy lost.

No way that his life was about to disappear, leaving behind nothing but a few specks of ash.

He had to do something. He blindly reached his free hand, searching for Kikoku, getting ready to get up but his legs weren’t listening to him. He didn’t have any strength left to even move, much less fight.

And then… it was too late anyway.

“No—” Law could barely let out before the last bits of paper scattered into the air, leaving behind nothing more than the ghost of the feeling of burning embers on his palm.

For a moment, it was like time had stopped. Law couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear, couldn’t feel anything. He only sat there motionlessly while Bepo panicked beside him, Eustass cursing somewhere so very far away. And still, the only thing running through his mind was no, this can’t be happening.

What kind of sick joke was this?

They had come so far; they brought all these people together, they pulled off this raid, they beat all the strongest enemies… The only one left was Kaido and up until this very moment, Law had no doubt he would witness yet another miracle of Straw Hat’s own making.

He never even considered this possibility. If he had known, he would have never—

He shouldn’t have left the roof.

He should have helped.

He should have been there.

But he didn’t and he wasn’t and now he was here; alone. Left with nothing but a hole in his chest and a few pieces of dust on his skin that were just a reminder of what used to be a solid chunk of paper—one full of life which was stronger than any other, with determination to pull through anything and still burn brightly like the sun.

So why? Why did this happen?

Law barely flinched when the ceiling came crashing down and Kaido’s booming voice demanded Momonosuke’s head, declaring Luffy’s death in the same breath.

It wasn’t a surprise to him, after all. It didn’t fucking matter what Kaido said at this point.

“It was a short-lived dream…” Eustass muttered.

“Suppose it’s the cold, hard reality. We have nothing left,” Law replied, voice completely void of emotion. He still couldn’t tear his eyes away from charred, black remains of Luffy’s life-force still clinging to his skin.

“Fuck this. I’m going to fight, Trafalgar. I’m not surrendering just like that,” Eustass announced, slowly getting to his feet even though his movements were sluggish and wobbly.

And Law knew—he knew that was the right thing to do. He, too, was going to fight. This was no time to sit here and be completely useless…

But before he could so much as look up, something stopped him. “What the—”

Completely frozen, Law could only watch with wide eyes as specks of dust and ash gathered in his palm, swirling in place as if guided by a non-existent gust of wind. It took Law a long moment to realise what was happening; and how could he? It was ridiculous, completely unheard of, and if Law didn’t see it happening in real time, he would never have believed it.

But there it was, the very same vivre card that had burned down to nothing a mere minute ago, back in one piece as if nothing happened and only growing bigger each second.

The wave of powerful haki that followed seemed almost redundant then. And when the deafening beat of a drum started echoing in his mind, Law had no doubt what was happening anymore. Or well, he still had absolutely no idea what was even going on but he did know the most important thing.

“Fucking idiot,” Law sighed as his fingers curled into a fist around the full-sized, alive vivre card, clutching it close.

“What’s going on? What’s this sound?!” Bepo asked, paws on his ears as he looked around with confusion.

“Just Straw Hat-ya doing something ridiculous. Again. Don’t worry about it, he’s really going to finish it now.” Law let go of a tired breath, finally allowing himself to relax again. He felt so exhausted… As if the fight with Big Mom wasn’t enough, Straw Hat just had to go and make it worse.

He was going to have a word with this idiot when this was all over.

“Uhm, captain?”

Cracking one eye open, Law glanced at Bepo, humming questioningly.

Bepo fumbled for a moment, looking like he was trying to pick something up while absolutely terrified to touch it. Only when he managed to raise his paws up, did Law realise why. “Sorry. What—what about your heart?”

“Shit I completely forgot,” Law groaned, forcing himself to sit up again before he reached over to grab the organ from Bepo’s awkward hold to put it back in place. “Thanks.”

“Freak,” someone noted.

“Fuck off, Eustass-ya.”

—————

Whatever Law had expected to happen when Straw Hat had come back, it sure as hell wasn’t that. He still wasn’t sure what did actually happen but watching Luffy, with his hair and clothes pure white, jump and run around, change sizes however he wished, bend the very laws of nature to his own will, and laugh like a maniac the whole time… It was both completely surreal and perfectly Straw Hat at the same time.

And watching him now, having fun during the celebratory festival as if nothing happened…

Law just felt so tired.

“Captain? Are you okay?” Penguin asked when Law got up from the ground where he and his crew had been drinking at the sidelines of the heart of the festival.

No, Law's mind immediately supplied but he bit his tongue, refusing to let the word slip out.

“I need a break,” Law said without elaborating.

Penguin looked like he was about to press him but when their eyes met, he deflated and nodded, making Law sigh in relief. He really didn’t feel like explaining the frustration he felt right then—not to his crew, not to his friends, not to anyone. He was sure Penguin, Shachi and Bepo could understand what was on his mind either way, after all the time they’ve known each other.

Without another word, Law turned around and left, leaving the noise and energy of the festival behind. He didn’t even know where he was heading, he simply knew he needed to get away; get somewhere where he could breathe, where he didn’t have to put up a facade of being alright.

Because he wasn’t alright. Not after Onigashima; the fight with Kaido, Big Mom, and everything after… It was too much. And with everyone celebrating and all the stress falling away, it was getting impossible to hide.

He really didn’t want to see anyone but of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

“Torao!! Finally found you!”

Heaving a deep sigh, Law stopped in his tracks, rubbing at his forehead. He already felt a headache coming; he wasn’t ready for this conversation but he knew there would be no point in trying to run away from this stubborn idiot. He always had a way to find Law wherever he would try to hide.

“Straw Hat-ya. What is it?” he asked when the other captain stopped next to him, out breath but with a wide smile plastered on his face and Law hated how his heart skipped a beat at the sight.

“I just wanted to see you! Your friends said you went on a walk so I thought I’d join you!” he announced proudly.

Law didn’t respond, he only turned away and started walking again.

“Oi, Torao. Wait for me,” Straw Hat said, obviously taken aback by Law’s lack of communication.

“Then keep up,” Law shot back. He wasn’t even sure why he was being so short with him but he was just so annoyed.

They walked in silence for a moment and Law could feel Straw Hat’s gaze on the side of his head the entire time. He wanted to snap at him to stop staring, to just go away but somehow… he didn’t even care anymore.

He wasn’t surprised when Straw Hat finally spoke up, probably unable to bear the silence anymore, “Torao. What’s wrong?”

Law closed his eyes momentarily, praying for patience. He couldn’t say anyone was listening to him, however, and he felt his blood-pressure raising as he gritted his teeth. “Take a fucking guess,” he hissed.

Straw Hat tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows scrunching up into an adorable frown—one that only made Law even more annoyed. “I won’t know unless you talk to me, Torao…”

“Fine! You want to know what’s wrong? You’re what’s wrong!” Law finally snapped, running his hands through his hair in frustration, knocking his hat off in the process but he didn’t even care. “What the fuck were you thinking? You just let Kaido push you to that point without asking for help and without anyone even fucking knowing! And then what happened?!”

“Tora—” Straw Hat started before stopping himself. He quietly watched Law as he started pacing back and forth and continued ranting.

“Actually, I don’t even want to know what was running through that empty goddamned head of yours. Probably fucking nothing because you never think. You never stop to plan anything, never even wonder what might happen! Did the fact you already lost once and ended up in a fucking labour camp mean nothing? Why are you always so fucking reckless—”

“Law!” Straw Hat finally called before he grabbed Law’s arm, forcing him to stop in his tracks. “Law, look at me.”

“Fuck off, Straw Hat-ya. Let me go!” Law growled, trying to pry his arm out of Luffy’s vice grip without much success.

“No! Law, please. Look at me. We won. We’re both fine, all of us are fine. Nothing—”

“Don’t you dare say nothing happened!” Law interrupted as he finally yanked his arm free to instead point at Luffy’s chest, poking him hard just above his heart with every word that followed, “You. Fucking. Died.”

Silence followed his final statement. Luffy simply looked at him in silence, those large, honest eyes seemingly peering right into Law’s soul and taking him apart to the last atom while Law only stood there, glaring back at him as he panted lightly, out of breath after his tirade. He didn’t even care if he sounded pathetic and childish; he was just so angry. Angry and frustrated and tired and so scared.

It took a full minute before either of them moved but finally, Straw Hat opened his mouth, speaking quietly, “But I didn’t die, Law. I’m here now.”

Law clicked his tongue. “Luffy, you fucking died. Your vivre card burned to nothing in my fucking hand and I could do fuck all about it.”

And that was the entire heart of the matter, wasn’t it? That Law didn’t know until it was too late, that he couldn’t do anything about it, that he was completely and utterly helpless. Helpless in supporting him, helpless in protecting him, helpless in bringing him back.

It was only thanks to luck, the absolute ridiculousness of the Gum Gum Fruit, and Straw Hat’s endless willpower that he was even standing in front of Law right now. Law couldn’t do anything to support the love of his miserable fucking life when he most needed it.

He knew Luffy wouldn’t have wanted his help in the first place. He knew the best thing he could have done in that situation was to take care of Big Mom. He knew.

And yet…

“I’m sorry,” Luffy said finally, voice serious.

Law sighed heavily. “No, you’re not.”

“Well, I mean—” Straw Hat folded his hands behind his head, a small pout appearing on his lips— “I’m not sorry about picking a fight with Kaido, he deserved it!”

“See?” Law groaned while rubbing the bridge of his nose. Why was this idiot so—

“But I am sorry I scared you. Really.”

As soon as Law heard those words, it was like all energy drained from him and his shoulders sagged. He didn’t even care anymore; he just wanted to sleep and not have to think about any of this. Why was he even so angry in the first place? It was all done and over already. No what-ifs or alternatives could change what really happened and Luffy was right—they were okay now and everything worked out.

So what did it matter?

Clicking his tongue, Law turned away. He wanted to pick up his forgotten hat and just leave but before he could so much as lean down, Luffy’s fingers closed around his wrist, stopping him. He looked at him questioningly but before he could so much as say anything, Luffy shook his head, tugged at Law’s hand gently… and smiled.

“Come here,” he said quietly, opening his arms in invitation.

Law scowled, not moving a muscle but he didn’t protest when Luffy took a step closer, his arms snaking behind Law’s back and pulling him into a hug. It still took him a moment but soon, it became impossible to fight the warmth and security of Luffy’s embrace and he let himself relax, sinking into the feeling.

Letting go of a shaky breath, Law buried his face into the crook of Luffy’s neck, his arms coming to wrap around Luffy’s waist, pulling him closer. Suddenly, Law realised this was the first time he had touched Luffy since before the battle of Onigashima—really, when was the last time? Probably in the Amigasa village the morning before the raid, when they had exchanged a quick kiss before they each went their own way, to their own crews and their own ships.

After the battle, Luffy was unconscious for days and being cared for by Tony; there was no reason for Law to hang around. He really only got to see him earlier today once the festival started but Luffy being Luffy, he barely said hi to Law before he ran off to raid every stall he could get to.

Maybe… all Law needed was to feel his warmth, touch his skin, smell his hair—make sure he was real, solid, breathing.

That he was alive.

“I’m not going anywhere, Torao,” Luffy mumbled quietly as he slowly ran his fingers through Law’s hair.

“Back to stupid nicknames, are we?” Law asked instead of acknowledging his words.

Straw Hat snickered. “You love it!”

“Fuck off, Straw Hat-ya,” Law sighed.

At that, Luffy only laughed harder. “I love you, Torao.”

Law clicked his tongue, his fingers curling into the fabric of Luffy’s yukata. “Shut up.”

“No. I love you!” he sang, his voice shaking in amusement.

“Fine!” Law snapped. “I love you too. Happy?”

“Yep!” Straw Hat announced proudly and Law could just picture the impossibly bright, blinding smile that was undoubtedly plastered on his face. “Now I just need some of the meat Sanji was cooking before I left to chase you…”

Law groaned. And here he thought they were having a moment… “I take it back. I fucking hate you.”

“What?! But I was going to share with you!”

“I don’t want any,” Law said and despite himself, a smile pulled on his lips.

“But it looked so tasty,” Straw Hat whined.

With an amused huff, Law finally pulled away from Luffy, taking in the adorable pout that was adorning his lips. He didn’t resist the temptation to kiss it away.

But, even after they separated, the unhappy expression stayed in Luffy’s face and Law chuckled, shaking his head at the sight. “You can have the meat, I don’t care.”

Immediately, Luffy’s face split into that blinding grin that made Law fall in love in the first place and he cheered, grabbing Law’s hand to drag him back towards the festival. Law barely had the time to grab his hat off the ground before Luffy’s rubbery pull gave him no choice but to follow.

It was hours later—hours during which he was forced to literally wrestle a laughing Luffy away from the food stalls and their desperately crying owners, only to instead end up goaded into playing many of the available games with Luffy, the Straw Hats, his own crew, Kaido’s son, and Eustass of all people—that Law realised the weight he had been carrying around for days had lifted.

And he wasn’t tired anymore.

12 notes · View notes

soft-husbands · 2 years

Note

I don’t get why people feels the need to send this kind of message. We are in our bubble enjoying what we love without harming anyone. Mileapo are not tagged and I doubt they would look at tumblr or even care… so mind your own business and if you don’t like what you read and see their is two little things called unfollow and block buttons. There is even a revolutionary new system called mute words, it’s magical in two clicks your timelines doesn’t include anything that you don’t like!

Some people I swear…

Exactly 🤷‍♀️ idk those messages like that make no sense because it’s silly I may seem dumb but I really am not and know the difference between acting and real life lol I’m just saying that for mileapo it’s different no one has to agree with me or ever feel like I’m trying to impose my thoughts into them

#but also I’m right haha #answering anons #asks

5 notes · View notes

imperiumwifestrikesagain · 1 month

Text

Thank you to @chenfordspiral for tagging anyone!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

310,810

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I’ve written for How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, and the Rookie. I also wrote some Sherlock fic that I never published.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

This is the Future

Up is down, down is up

Precious and Few

All at Once Everything Looks Different

You Don't See It?

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I haven’t been doing my best lately because my glass balls are with my kids and responding is one of my plastic balls.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well- the angstiest ending would be for I’ll Tell you my Sins. But considering it’s only in my head… With the Arm of her Brother is probably the most angst of what’s published. Unless you are a Ted Mosby fan then probably Ted the Slave 🤣😂

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh gosh idk! There are so many possibilities! Aunt Genny probably.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on most, but I got a LOT of hate on Ted the Slave, which fair. Actually I should probably go back and mark that as non-conish

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ummmm, I’ve done it all? I don’t shy away from it and I’ve done smut requests before.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope. Not my thing, don’t even really love to read them, unless they are in the same universe. (Ncis or rookie and feds for example.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. Would be cool though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes actually, and I don’t think it’s even on ao3. A group of fandom friends and I decided we were going to rewrite season 8 and 9 of HIMYM to make sense with the characters. I think we got maybe five episodes in? I don’t know if I could tell you where to find it without research.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

This is like asking who my favorite child is.

Okay. Mondler.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably I’ll tell you my Sins. But any of them really.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I am terrible at this. But editing? I don’t know.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My muse running away too frequently.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Hate it. Nope. I don’t like having things wrong; and I seriously admire all the writers out there who write in a second language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HIMYM. It was when I discovered fanfic and fandom because I was a sheltered child and didn’t join chatrooms and didn’t know fandom spaces existed. Although I was writing fanfic in my head for YEARS without knowing it was normal

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Again with the favorite child thing. They all my babies. I’m probably still most proud of This js the Future. It held up over time. But Weddjng Day Jitters and Falling Slowly round up the top three.

Almost everyone I would ask has already played, so anyone that wants to play!

1 note · View note

nanjokei · 8 months

Note

all your sycophants telling you to be meaner, nah youre just an asshole. did you like. even read the post in the first place. bc it doesnt look like you did?? i get that it makes you feel cool and good abt yourself to mock other ppls thinking-out-loud type posts but you basically telling them to shut up and keep their thoughts out of The Pure And Perfect Tag™ and then go on to say "oh im autistic ive never gotten the chance to rly speak up and be mean so this feels good" like..... thats so painfully hypocritical. you should KNOW how it feels to be told "shut up no one cares" so why are you doing it to someone else? so im telling you to shut up. youre annoying and no one cares and you shouldnt use other people as punching bags. asshole

did you get it out of your system. that's great. i don't really feel like giving a benefit of the doubt response anymore given after the first ask you decided to go ballistic like this... like, not even being sassy, i could have just responded "are you mad" and published it. but i am a neurotic person who will respond even if it's not in the way i initially set out to. just for you.

just for transparency, here's the first ask i got last night:

hi. i think you are projecting a lot of feelings onto me that i did not express and stretching my original statements. which in some sense, some may see as understandable! i was being less than gentleman-ly! i don't know if this is the op messaging after i blocked them or a friend coming in to give me a piece of their mind, it does not matter. this is something i was gonna say even in the first ask: had i been approached for an apology, i probably would have caved and apologized, because i'm weak to that kind of thing. at the very least even if i didn't agree, i would have wholeheartedly apologized for any distress or trouble. this isn't bull or me trying to flatter my way out of a situation. the response i got— which a friend ended up reading, to be honest i just blocked right away— was thoroughly strange, something something apologizing and being like "idk tumblr tag etiquette" and choosing to delete the original post. which i would not know how to respond to. i'm not some kind of tag police or god of tumblr or whatever, so why apologize to me or delete the post. i am writing this response under the assumption that it could be someone else, but a hit dog will holler, in this one sentence i will address OP directly: that response was strange. had i read it, i would have either ignored it still or apologized, i have no idea, but initial my response really was "but i have no power over this person or anyone". i did not ask for you to clean up your contribution to a tag or police it. i simply stated my opinion on my blog when prompted by a third party expressedly out of earshot of the op. is that a morally correct thing? proooobably not. but it is the internet. "why are you, the person who got hated on, continuing the cycle of hate" type bs might as well be a self fulfilling prophecy. if you feel this way, why send me asks about it at all if you're gonna go ape over me not responding immediately? does it mean so much to you? go ahead and block. i do not argue with people online. but i'll respond because clearly you want one. not gonna prostrate myself before anyone, and respond just as coldly as you are painting me out to be. this is my special fanservice to you, since you wanted to believe that about me so badly.

>pure and perfect tag

i do not check tags for a reason. i checked it one time. i guess this implication comes off of what i said so i'll say it out clearly but i genuinely could care less past the initial pang of cringe what is in there. had nonnie not continued to converse with me i would have moved on ans forgotten about it. i am not a police or a militia. it means nothing to me most days if a tag is "good". who the hell cares. you are obsessing over my existence, my opinion and the weight of such a thing a bit too much over here.

>shut up no one cares

neeeever said this, and no one has ever said this to me. the story i recounted about being called toxic was in the youtube comments and was 5 years ago. no one told me "no one cares". it just hurt my ego. anyway, if someone cared so much to send two asks about it, then thank you. i really won't shut up.

>never got the chance to speak up and be mean

ok.

>my sycophants

it was one nonnie. are you obsessed with me or something? i am like one random ass blogger on a dying website. i do not have an army or cult of personality. i am just one guy.

>end of the ask

heard you loud and clear. thanks for the feedback, not gonna reflect on it much though. it was an asshole move. does it make me an asshole? yup.

it was catty and petty of me. i knew that much from the very first ask i answered. but op wasn't tagged, i didn't send anyone to them either, so i can only really think "what were you doing on my blog anyway". because yes, this is a blogging site, not a pvp site, i didn't engage with anyone to start fights. didn't bring op's name into it, didn't actively mock them (the comment about them not being special was ad hominem though i admit to that much. sorry.)

you cannot expect everyone to be 100% nice and handle people with kiddie gloves in their own blog space when they are not bringing you into it especially given i did not direct anyone to anyone's post.

had it been me i would have just blocked and moved on. pwease no steppy and all that. whoever sent op an ask about it to make them respond is kind of a drama obsessed weirdo lol. like i'm just saying. causing both me and op a headache. it did not have to shake out like this. neither of us were gonna engage with each other and everyone could have gone to sleep without any icky feelings. honestly, from my point of view, both of you are strange. wow, i am barely hiding who i think is behind this ask. but it really is addressed very generally.

don't send me another ask! i will just publish them with no response. this situation was entirely avoidable and i lament that you decided to both waste my time and your own with all this. just block me like i asked!

#ask #anonymous

0 notes