#idk its WEIRD its weird and I don't know if im overthinking it or what | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

formulawonu · 2 years

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Your writing is amazing 💓 Can I request a SVT reacts to their s/o pranking them by avoiding their kisses.

seventeen & pranks

a/n: thank youuuu so much this means a lot <3 and happy birthday minghaoooo!!! 🎂

seungcheol: the moment u swerve when he leans in to give u a kiss he kinda laughs but when u keep doing it he's like ???? he knows nothing wrong has happened but he's thinking anyway... but when u forget ur doing it and try to give him a kiss hes so sulky and moves away from ur kisses. he uno-reverse carded u

jeonghan: ohhh so u wanna play that game. jeonghan picks up on it the moment u swerve once and he doesn't try again. ur playing a game on ur own idk what to say u cant beat him at any mind games ://

joshua: shua laughs his frustated laugh™️ (the one where his eyes get wider and hes 'laughing') around the fourth or fifth time u avoid his kiss. "baby come on" tries to kiss u again to no success. he huffs a lil and goes "fine" he then pouts a lil and OBVIOUSLY u better kiss him now >:( he smiles immediately when u give him a kiss on the cheek im gonna cry

junhui: unlike those that get sulky he finds it exciting and takes it as a challenge. he traps u wherever u are and starts peppering ur entire face w kisses. oh u dont want just ONE kiss? take ten. fight him fr fr

hoshi: "BABY WHY" "PLEASE !! JUST !! LET !! ME !! KISS !! YOU !!" u dont know it but he always needs to kiss u before u/he leave the house bec its his good luck charm or weird custom that he believes keeps u both safe :/ he probably knows its a prank or whateva but hes just so devastated. just let him kiss u honestly it means more to him than u at the moment:/

wonwoo: heeee notices but doesnt say anything lmao hes just like hmmm ok. cmon wonwoo give us nothing!!! but i think he just doesn't react that much because he doesn't try to read into it since u both are generally at a good place and he doesnt need to worry sdjhfgs he probably also can tell ur playing a prank on him -_- but will play along just to see u smile and have fun:/ SICK

woozi: has no time for ur games MOVE he's got enough on his plate😪 will maybe attempt to kiss u ONE more time but if u move away he'll just shrug then go on with his day. its kinda eating at him tho bec ????? damn now u messed w his productivity. pls just put him out of misery and tell him u were playing a prank. he will scoff at u but feel better when u say sorry lmfao

minghao: he knows abt this prank before u even try hskjdfghsdf the moment u dodge his kiss he's like ayeeeee okkkkk i see u then suddenly its both of u fighting to land kisses on each other and trying to dodge the other skdfjhaefkh would be so funny. u both r giggling messes

mingyu: BECAUSE HE KNOWS UR PLAYING A GAME AND HE TRAPS U IN BETWEEN HIS ARMS PINS U AGAINST A WALL AND ITS OVER. "whats this all about?" even u forget ur playing a game and u try to lean in for a kiss and u can just hear him silently laughing and whispering "cute" under his breath. he plants a quick kiss on u and lets u get on with ur day. ur on the losing end of the stick here idk what to say

seokmin: dont even start😭 he's overthinking the moment u avoid his kiss the first time. doesn't attempt again because he thinks he's genuinely done something wrong and u don't wanna be near him. will visibly and obviously give u space the rest of the day until u cave (right away???? pls???) and tell him its just a prank kfdjhs dont stress him out

seungkwan: "ok got it" the moment u dodge his kiss. do not try to outplay the king of petty. will ask u just one time why ur avoiding his kisses. if u say u just don't want it anymore he's like hm ok. none for the rest of the week then <3 the ball is in ur court now u can make it up to him or not uksdfjhfj

vernon: does not even realize u avoided his kiss or he thinks u just didn't notice he leaned in to give u one. he's a simple man and ur relationship dynamic is probably a pretty straightforward one. thinks if u were mad enough at him to purposely avoid his kisses then u would probably just tell him why first sjhdfksd

dino: he's following u around asking u why u dont wanna kiss him fghsdfh "is it my breath" "i just brushed my teeth" "ill brush again ?" he may or may not actually go and brush his teeth. kdfgrf i just think it would be so funny to play this game w him. he sees u find it amusing so he knows nothing is probably wrong but he's still running thru whatever might have u doing this. would be bothering u until u let him kiss u. just do it

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cephalonheadquarters · 4 months

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my stupid ass accidentally hit unfollow instead of ask button -_- ANGYWAYS like what is UP with c.Cemelo? Camelo>?i forgot how to spell his name the second i looked away from it THE MUTLICOLORED MENTALLY ILL GUYthag one. i have so many questions about him like why is he a freak (lovingly). why is his relationship with the big guy so inasne liek whats theier deal. im so interested (props my chin up in my hands and smiles suuuper wide) i would love to hear about them if u wanna talk about them PEACE ✌ (i mean all this genuiinely btw)

HIS NAEM CHAMELO it’s just Chameleon but also Camilo. I hope that helps..you got it close in the second try. the first one is like cementHe was forced to eat cement at 6. I'm probably going to switch around with his nicknames and name a lot (Chamy, Melo) out of habit sorry if its confusing

ANYWAYS. I'M REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED HI ok. LOTS of words soooo undah da cut they go. Also sorry if a lot of this does Not make sense trust me I don't make sense to myself sometimes

He is a freak because I really like characters like him. He's basically how my thought process works so that probably also means you're calling me a freak too(Lighthearted)

He is horrifically anxious and has got anger issues and is just real irritable in general (And probably more things.?). He has trouble dealing with his own emotions because they're often so extreme, so he does things on impulse despite overthinking a lot. He sorta contradicts himself in his thoughts and feelings and actions. Idk he's weird. Doesn't always know what he wants and has a tough time with communication. Him changing colors involuntarily depending on his mood doesn't help either if the person he's talking to knows which colors go with what feeling. He tries his hardest to hide his emotions when he wants to whether it be angry, nervous, sad, even happy, but he also knows he'll always have a dead giveaway if he feels anything ever.

(Note: Optional reading in this next part I ended up rambling↓)

I do worry about him getting so worked up because I don't want people to think that I think feeling emotions is dumb or whatever because I tend to like. Make him accidentally funny or play it off as a joke. And then I remember he feels like I do so I don't care if people get mad at me for having a character that gets upset or jumps to conclusions over little things or has a lot of inner monologue that's just freaking out because I do that a lot too. I like when I can relate to characters, I like to put things about me in my characters. People have told me that a lot of my characters have very real personalities (I LOVE WRITING PERSONALITIES) so I think I'm okay. It makes me feel extra happy when people tell me they can relate too. A lot of that didn't explain anything about him actually sorry lawl they call me the rambler

Okey anyways

About him and Diesel (da big guy)....

I don't even know where to start with them goodness gracious they're a mess. I guess when they first met. Chamy got a new job at the stupid dumb pizza place that Diesel had already been working at for a while despite almost Never showing up for (Their boss, Sharlotte, doesn't even give a darn and thinks of Diesel as a "son she never had" so he gets away with a lot). Diesel noticed Melo was new and because he is like a big cartoon bully of course he messes with Chamelo, mainly by stealing his beloved motor scooter thing.

Diesel made sure Chamy saw that he stole it, he wanted Chamelo to see him. If he wanted Melo to try to get back at him, it worked. When he finally caught Diesel with his scooter, Chamelo lunged at him like a rabid animal and they started fighting over it. Of course, Chamelo won through sheer rage and took back his scooter and Diesel hasn't taken it since then, but Melo has to let him drive it whenever they're delivering together (Because Sharlotte thought it was a genius decision to partner him up with Diesel because she thought Chamelo would die).

Chamelo holds a grudge against Diesel over that whole situation, but now he just finds himself instigating a fight with him for literally no reason (There is a reason it is because he is Gay and a Freak).

He then eventually realizes he is Madly In Love with that chimaera guy and has a meltdown about it and can't tell ANYONE or he will DIE!!!!!! And so he becomes incredibly awkward and even more annoying around Diesel

Asker (his friend he doesn't know is his friend) questions him about Diesel because they notice him being weird about him and they find out he likes him but they don't really care but one time they told Diesel that Melo is kind of a freak about him and then Chamelo punched them in the face (I drew it in [this post] except it's in inklish because I thought it was stupid it's sandwiched between a bunch of other drawings sorry. I still think it's funny though)

Umm yeah Chamelo is hopelessly in love and is quite scared about it because he's never felt actual romantic love before with another fish, only his scooter(bc. objectum...). He doesn't know how to deal with his feelings! It's like, a weird mix of hatred and yearning. So like. A hate-love. He wants to keep hating Diesel, he doesn't want to get attached to him but he already is..!! He feels like he's supposed to hate him, Chamy doesn't know what he even likes about Diesel. He wants to stop feeling like this but he doesn't want to at the same time, if that makes sense. He tries to tell himself it's a passing feeling or anything that isn't being in love.

He's scared of what could happen if they ever do end up together, that he might stop being in love and maybe it was just a passing feeling after all, and he's frustrated at the thought of Diesel never knowing about how he really feels. He doesn't know what to do about this, and most likely won't for a while. It's painful and overwhelming for him both physically and emotionally :'(

Diesel still I guess bullies Chamelo sometimes but that is just because he always does that and doesn't know anything about himself 🤣🤣😂😂AAAHHHH AAAAGHHH AHHHHHH AHHH AHHsorry. He is bisexual. He does not know that. He also shows up to work more because of Chamelo. But he also didn't realize that until they had a short one-sided conversation on Squidmas [see here].

Diesel is taking longer than Chamelo to realize he likes him, and honestly I cannot imagine a world where Diesel actually reciprocates feelings. I don't want to say he will but I don't want to say he won't. I don't know how to describe it. Something just happens I guess lol. I'll figure it out

Since then, they've been oh-so-painfully-slowly warming up to each other, still getting mad at one another, still yelling, still fighting, still absolutely Hating the other's existence...but hey...they're together more because they want to be.........AAAGHHHHHHH isn't fighting so intimate😍THEY HAVE TO STOPPPP sorry .Sorry. I'm really normal about their horrendously weird relationship that is taking Forever to get better. It's like slow-burn if you put it at 0.5x speed. Also I wouldn't call them enemies to lovers, they aren't exactly enemies nor are they lovers later That doesn't make sense but I wouldn't know how to explain it. Swagever.

At some point Sharlotte's car and a modded trizooka have to do with them (along with a couple older ocs of mine) but that doesn't really have anything to do with right now. A lot of my drawings of the two are out of order because I'm impatient lol. I want to try to not go through like. arcs? so quickly because 1. I fear the day I run out of ideas and 2. Everything has to end and I don't like the idea of finishing all of my splatoon's lives but luckily splatoon happens in real time so I have a lot of years to go if I'm That determined about my guys LOL Sorry unrelated

TL;DR Diesel and Chamelo's relationship is so complex and stupid it is almost entirely beyond my own comprehension. They hate each other so much that they want to be with each other.

Okay that's all I could think of. A Billion Thankies for asking me about them... Apologies if you didn't really need all of That for me to explain. I like to explain things ❤

#jfc. Sorry that is a ton of words i kept having to reread everything a million times if i got something wrong or missed anything well.#then i will die forever #It is currently 2 am this took me a While. Ok goodnight #ask #chamelo fláje #diesel fintasma

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smileymoth · 1 year

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Its so funny to me that 11 year old me was like. ok im probably a demigirl/non-binary but no that's weird i'm just a weird girl :( anyway let me go back to desperately trying to mimic the way hollywood undead men dress

(Im putting the rest of my gender stuff under cut bc it got so long on accident...)

I need to stop saying i'm *probably* non-binary bc i very much am. But at the same time i'm still a woman and a girl and a lesbian and I only like she her pronouns cuz everything else feels icky. But I am deeply uncomfortable with the classical "woman" classification but then again that's just the social construct part so if gender is a social construct and there's no right way to be a woman then I am still a woman but. This gender shit is so hard man, it took me long enough to figure out I'm a lesbian and then this gender thing ruins it again.

I Know that lesbians tend to have a difficult time with gender because the stereotypes are built on a system of woman-birth-child-machine-male-validation or something idk heteronormative society which is focused on men sth sth... so no wonder I have such a difficulty with knowing what my gender is. + that I probably have some type of neurodivergency so that adds to that.....

Realistically I don't care about labels that much because the gender thing doesn't influence my everyday life at all, idc if people call me a woman or a lady or a girl i like those infact but aaahhhhhhhh. Like. Girl help why is this so WEIRD!!! I don't want to be viewed as a woman in the sense of existing to get married to a man and have children, i guess. But I also don't want to label myself incorrectly(?) because would it be harmful to the overall community if I'm technically what the tiktokkers called "girl Lite" back in 2020 or sth??

Like the whole ordeal of "is someone x enough" is stupid but man. I always overthink everything. It took me 5 years to accept that I do NOT in fact like men. Like I just flipflopped inbetween labels for 5 years and sometimes I still think that ough but what if I'm not a lesbian because my fictional blorbo is a man or bc I fawn over Brian Molko... and then I get ill and want to cry at the thought of ending up with a man like girl you're so bad at everything....

#moth post

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whwie · 4 months

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okay this happened like two days ago but

so I'm like bantering with him and honestly it's been good, like I genuinely feel I've got our dynamic back whatever that is without me feeling too nervous. like we friends or whateva (this is not me trying to act like it doesn't matter, I genuinely dont know if I'm friends with him((ppl have to really cement it into me that we r)))

anyways we bantering or smth and he makes a joke about me (idk what, it doesn't really matter), towards me and then I'm like exaggerated being like ughhh and then I say "I fucking hate u!" but this like being screamed across a wide room so it's kinda lost it sassy tone and im like oh shit, feeling a bit guilty

and then he says some sarcastic shit like "yeah u definitely hate me, I know that well(?)"

HUH.

the question mark is there bc like its been 2 days and I didn't want mullover it too much so I don't exactly remember what he said but I was like and I'm still like ????????????

I'm definitely overthinking our current banter but like bro like how do u have the balls to idk fucking make jokes at me? with me? LIKE IK UR OBSERVANT THERE'S NO WAY U DONT NOTICE I STILL LIKE U

why am I like pointing out that I'm over thinking, all my diary posts are for overthinking.

anyways im glad we vibing but deep down just a little I'm hurt of what I'm not too sure.

anyways he's fucking stupid, how did this happen, but I mean he's pretty fucking cute so it's whatever ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'll just keep looking from the side until,,, idk I don't see him or probably any of the ppl on my floor as often next term.

funny moment time aka me simping:

I got to see him more often in a white tank top and damn. I mean yall don't understand bro I fucking— Sigh. Everytime I see him wearing it I fucking,,, ughhhhhh omfggg,,,, I start being like omg wait i should stick around him more. Sigh I'm a fan. like my last post about him, I was writing that drunk right, but that night he took off him like button up shirt he was wearing on top and bro. my drunk mind shortcircuted. I was like "OMFG" he was playing beer ball in my room and I just turned into SUCH A FAN. and then he left my room :( and then I was like imma go to where he is and then I spent the rest of the night with him and few other friends just talking late into the night. it was an enjoyable night :). can I say he's so fine here or is that weird but maaaaannnnnn...

white tank top on him 10/10—I understand the het girlies and this is why I'm bi

#unrequited crush #best friend's brother #hes cute and yk what its alright if i think that #and its chill if its still obvious it aint hurting no one #hopefully lmao #ap #showing this to him

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lotusmi · 1 year

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Idk why but for some reason reason out of all of my desires i can’t seem to imagine how it would feel like if i had my desired body, like idk if its because im afraid of the weird attention id from having it or i see it as impossible because i still think that i have to get it workout or get plastic surgery from it, idk what do, like i know the whole process of manifest but i can’t with my desired body, well is there any positive safe scenarios i can imagine with having my desired body?

Ok angel, so- I'll try giving you different solutions and you choose the one you like best 💗

First of all to imagine/visualize is not necessary for manifest your dream body. It's only a method and if you don't feel like it, it's ok.

When I felt not deserving of my desires I would find a quiet place and only affirm "I am x, it's done" and leave my body react naturally, not overthinking it, just allowing it, since i know my desires are a promise. [Neville says to imagine and then feel, but I learned with Edwart to affirm, allow to feel, and with this, the state automatically changes and the thoughts comform your new state naturally]

Other technique I can adress is the visualizing the you you want, but outside it, and then "enter" it, since is easier to visualize things out of you.

There's also this technique for feeling real where you imagine, and then tell yourself "This is real", you can describe yourself what you are imagining while visualizing "Im seeing how my waist is small, and how i feel pretty... etc"

If you have fear, do it in fear. Visualizing scenarios are just techniques, if you don't like to do it. You can just assume, or affirm, or ask yourself how is the way you feel more comfortable manifesting and then doing it. You can create your own rules.

Also there's literally nothing wrong in having a desire, the desires comes from within, from your Godself. So if you desire, dare to be, it's your promise, waiting for you to decide and accept to be. So say to yourself you already are which u desire to be right now. And walk with that assumption. Your desire it's your promise. Would God fear changing His form? You are limitless! You can also affirm "I have no fear", "I believe in myself", "I feel safe", and whatever implies you are who you want (now you are) to be. 💗 I hope this helps you.

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checkers-dance · 1 year

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hi tumblr user checkers-dances. i write to you from my death bed. i fear i may not make it past this winter.

JOKES ASIDE. ive been sick the past few days. its really not that bad but im dramatic and also havent been genuinely sick in years so i have mostly stayed on my bed and done nothing but watch hour long video essays. if im not doing that, im watching mx videos. in any case, because ive been using kpop to Cope, i remembered this one youtube trend where people came up with like a whole idea for a kpop group. in a lot of ways its kind of like making your own superm, but im less interested in that aspect and more on trying to think about the more technical side of it. so because im dying and in need of fun, and also it was just a lot of fun coming up with my idea for an nct alternative, i've been thinking about what i would do if i had to manifest a kpop group out of thin air. here at incest entertainment, what type of music can we offer to the market?

i'm still not super sure of what route i would go but i've established a couple of ideas and once again, im smarter and cooler than any real kpop company.

-we're going with 7 members. i think that's kind of a perfect number, not too much and not too little.

-one thing i know for sure is that i need at least one member with creative inclinations. preferably we would have multiple guys because i think it'd be cheaper than having to always rely on outside producers probably? but also because here at incest entertainment we want our artists to have as much artistic freedom as possible <3 and because i do have a bit of a vision for what i want this group to be, i need to have strong communication with the idols who will be performing the songs, and i think a good way to go about that is having at least one of them who is also involved in the music.

-so i want the group to have a really strong concept. i think we are in desperate need of more kpop music videos with larger storylines (and those storylines would be even connected to the lyrics of the songs themselves). i'm still not entirely sure what the concept would be but it'd be very story driven and it'd have kind of mystery to it.

-so here's the most important part that i've come up with so far. it's by far the most unrealistic one, but if a group ever did this i think it'd be really fun. so i was thinking about how fun it was to overthink the mx music videos and try to come up with a coherent theory, and because i'm going to be pushing for a narrative i obviously want to give fans stuff to chew on and speculate on. and i was thinking about what would be a good way to do this. and then i fucking realized. let's make a fucking arg. let's throw weird code into the videos that leads to like a secret website where the fans can solve puzzles and figure shit out. i think making that aspect more interactive could be really interesting.

-to connect with the last point, i think a great way to push this would be with the physical albums. part of the appeal of physical albums in kpop is that they come with a lot of other neat things. so the albums can include items that are connected to the story, like idk. documents with info on them that they can decipher for themselves.

ANYWAY, im tired and i don't think im going to elaborate more on this, but i like this basic idea. sadly, incest entertainment isn't real and neither is my imaginary boy band.

HELP, NOT INCEST ENTERTAINMENT....INC-ENT for short. Is 7 rlly the magic number or is it just the number most frequently found in groups u like 🧐🧐🧐? THE OVERTHINKING MX ERA...listen I think this group should at least have a coherent storyline they're going for to avoid another watch/blue flower event 😭😭. Maybe it could be a scifi arg since there already are scifi concepts in kpop, or maybe it's a more historical thing. Personally I think if the company is called incest entertainment there should be incest gimmicks in the group, like them pretending they're all related despite looking nothing alike. Maybe there's even a time travel gimmick in the story so they're all each other's ancestors at diff points in the timeline. Much to think abt (help I said no more watch/blue flower stuff and then immediately went on to spawn this concept 😭)

#asks

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jrueships · 2 years

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top 5 movies

OOOO OKAY so i actually hate doing top tens because i overthink everything and constantly switch things around SOO... im just gonna do a collection of five things bee likes SORRY FOR THE FALSE ADVERTISING 😭

1 City of God

i hate telling people this is one of my fav movies cus I don't wanna seem like that pretentious person who only watches foreign films for the sake of watching foreign films. This is literally my favorite movie because it's my favorite movie. I don't really watch a lot of movies and this just happened to be one i found and happened to like! I read the book first (dont. By the way. It kinda sucks partly because it got translated poorly so not it's fault but mainly because it's violence for the sake of violence. Like if the movie went just by book, i wouldn't like it. But it doesn't so <3 )

think of the movie and the book like No Country For Old Men. The book goes for shock and suspense and the movie goes to make it Art. It's a really pretty film and you kinda value it more knowing like. None of the actors went anywhere. They did their piece for the film then that's pretty much all. It's a good film of a bad film that made it good film? Like what happens is bad, but the bad doesn't happen just to happen and be Bad. IDK man !

Next is

YEAH SO. LMAO um 😭 let's get this clear i hate b*ll i hated him from the beginning righteous prick and i always skipped his parts in the show or used it to do homework when i was lil. I JUST REALLY LOVED THE ANIMATION!! the show and the movie is ass tho. BUT IT'S THE KINDA ASS... you Enjoy 😈. All intentions possible. I love love LOVE watching this movie with friends so we can make fun of it and point out the terrible writing, not in a 'we're better sense' but a 'LMFAO WTF WAS THAT????'

it's a very WTF WAS THAT movie and i love it 😭. Weird Harold, Rudy, and Otis (yall don't even know any of these people but especially Otis. All u gotta know is he's the best) carried. Dumb Donald has a great design cartoon wise but he got on my nerves. He's alright tho

the harder they fall's soundtrack is SO good. It's so cool, it's just a COOL movie. It's an action movie so some of the characters could've been written better (especially some of the women. They werent written horrible but they had more potential that you can feel wasnt justly reached), but the characters they spent time on, you could tell. From their stories and personalities and dialogue and interactions, very cool!!! Sometimes an almost anime-esque kind of movie? Sometimes shot like Scott pilgrim? Sometimes sphagetti western.. Sometimes action.. Sometimes comedy! It's a COOL movie that you can think about a little bit but not cramp yourself over. It's not a complete turn your brain off though. It's engaging in what it is! Which is a lot of things, so it's very engaging!!!

Blade!!!!!! The patron Saint of joth gf!! my first!!! my beloved!! my EVERYTHING!!!!! the movie's writing shows its time in only having personality in 'crazy side villain who dies' 'clever quip when someone dies' 'sad for short time when someone dies'. Maybe the new blade movie wouldn't be in such a fumbling state if i was in the writer's room with my divine, lifesaving advice of 'just make blade more babygirl'. Literally. That's all you have to do. It's not that difficult. ANYWAYS yeah he and the flash and hawkman were my 3 only childhood 'superhero' heroes. This is more of a personal childhood attachment thing like Albert than being a.. Good movie. BUT it DOES have its cinematography! You can feel the wuxia inspiration in some scenes

these two can sit in the same space because they're both childhood films as well. Boyz was better at leaning into characters as human (which i value a lot) and menace was better at showing the edge of what life can do to characters. They're both good films in their own right! Check em out! I liked menace way more than the other when i was younger but growing up im leaning more toward the other but they're AGAIN theyre both super snazzy

Some honorable mentions... to make up for the lack of a ranking system:

- New Jack City: NEWWW JACK! CIIIITYYY (NEW JACK CITYY 🎶 !!) older blaxplotation movie so cheesy, cheap, but like? Cool??? cut out the cheesy old cop crud and you get an entertaining villain with an entertaining mob. Also there's one death in the movie that's a brutal one, and it's offscreen. You just see a glimpse of the desecrated aftermath. Those are like the best deaths in a movie tbh. The imagination being our biggest friend and our biggest enemy. Love it love it!

- dead presidents: WAR IS TRAUMATIZING!!!

- mean girls: the Brutus speech about Cesar.. no essay can compare. Shakespeare shut the fuck up bitch

- clueless: 🥰

- little shop of horrors: open up here i come

- in the wood: STACY!!!!!!!

- Rocky: Apollo slayed and then he died

- sky high + high school musical: Disney peaked with these characters then never again

- FRIDAY + Friday 2: loved the 'you don't need a weapon' moral trying to be taught then using a weapon (brick) in the end. Seamless

- ratatouille: the wii game ratatouille was my red dead redemption

- baby jody: all manchilds need to watch this. It's hilarious and it's true. Don't be a manchild. Grow up. OH also the mom has a little garden and it's really cute. And she's super buff. People try to plant shit in her garden. Makes me so mad. We can never have nice things!!!

- coraline: the movie was so cool.. the video game on the wii scared me so bad i had nightmares from the bad game over screens. But the designs were great the elements the songs the using good characters abilities into their bad character abilities UGH it was SO cool!!! i hate people that like coraline though... it's like.. idk how to describe it. there's like two types of theater people... either really really nice or seems really nice, actually a huge usually passive aggressive or control freak holier than thou smart ass who thinks they're the stem of theater because their personality is loving hamilton (i fucking hate hamilto

- hot boyz: this movie is straight ass

- king of New york: this one kinda sucked too but the secondary villain was gay and awesome

- Good Burger: i watched a blossoming boy romance in a place that sells burgers. Good burgers.

- Monster House

they survived because they had sex

-Kung fu panda all of them except maybe not the 3rd: just gorgeous gorgeous movies. The animation is stunning

- Hustle & flow: Ludacris !!!!!!!!! Acts!! He gets his ass kicked but that's ok. I think in another film he also gets his ass kicked? I can't remember tho. He loves losing

- Se7en: themed kills that play with unique abilities 🥰🥰 i don't have the patience for a murder mystery so i don't remember who did it or what was in the box and i don't cool. Seven deadly sins awesome

- Barbershop: mollusk man and preppy man should've had sex. Hate sex specifically

- that one movie? 9?: i watched it when i was little and alone. The Bara fucking dies

- Johnny English Reborn aka THE MR BEAN X DANIEL KALUUYA MOVIE IM TELLING YOU THEY HAD S*X!!!!!!@ it's actually a mainly unfunny movie with some funny parts like most older comedies but it's gay so it's ok

- encanto: i don't like encanto like Some people like encanto but it was the first movie that made me upset, I can't even Identify why?? It got me in my feelings and i don't even know!! How!! Or what!!!! I wouldn't say it's my favorite movie in terms of i want to see it again because i Like it, but it IS a good movie!! Like objectively it's great

- night at the museum: gay

- white chicks: the dancing scene? Monster high wishes it could

- cars: the purple car was so hot

- mo' better blues: so much could be solved if hate sex...

- remember the titans: football polycule and mean man

- fences: father issues . The Movie.

- into the spiderverse: yes.

- the players club: her boyfriend's name was Lance who tf is called Lance who is real? Like a real person? Lance is for GTA Lance Vance who likes to Dance. He cheated because he was always fake. Like Lance armstrong.. they are not. Real people.

- NOPE: the spectacle idea is SOOOOO

- glory road: gay people gay people gay basketball people gay

- space jam: i thought this was the coolest shit when i was little but the part where Michael's manager got flattened gave me nightmares.

Let It Shine: lord of Da Bling.....

-space jam 2: robot dame is still hot

- Get Out: I liked reading the script a lot for this one!! Also gay. Loving gay couple who survived crazy white people and coparent a tiny dog very well. A well deserved happiness

- jump in: this movie is like fat albert to me

- white men can't jump: gay couple school the system (love wins)

- Jason takes manhattan: my favorite character is on watchmojo top ten best Jason kills 😭😭 Julius gaw you should've won and i stand by that. Should've donkeykicked him in the stomach ROLL CREDITS!!!!

#i want to see bullet train and black adam!!#i think ill rlly like bullet train as a good movie and the fact that i like it as well #black adam i think ill just like to like #bcs it's gay or smthing #THANK U for asking I LOVED THIS!!!#most of my movies are old and bad and not in an artistic sense but in a yeah this is old and bad lol #i havent watched some of these in so long 😭😭#im very strange with movies where like.. if it's a movie i havent seen and it's just playing on tv #i have to watch it i have to keep glancing back at it #same with tv shows like.. what is going on?? i need to know!! why are people pretending to be pizza workers!! i have to find out!!#so yea i cant fall asleep when the tv is on so i dont have a tv in my room i never did #in a hotel i rmember watching this movie at 4am cus i couldnt sleep bcs a movie was on #it wasnt even good it was abt ordering anchovies on your pizza gets you s*x #it was stupid and i hated it and i couldnt shut my eyes from the torment #ted tumbunity things

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whyarewecalledtheshipname · 2 years

Text

i don't really know how to articulate what i want to talk about in this post

Which is the weird feeling i have , about "kh4". I have no real basis, for this feeling, it's literally just, a guess, not a hunch. Just. An opinion, basically.

That, i always get. When i hear this line of thought of like. That kh4, will, resolve some major plot point. That like, the next major arc will all come to a head, in that game. Bc if it did, i feel like. It'd feel rushed. Maybe that's what all the mobile games are for, but . Still.

And i, that's why it feels so weird, odd, to me that the next "main/major" kh game coming out is kingdom hearts 4. Like. Idk? Like i said, idk what exactly im tryna say. So if im just repeating myself, then.

Idk, it just felt to me (whatever that means) that, the next game focusing on either sora and/or riku, would be more of an in-between game? A set-up game? A foreshadowing game? Maybe I'm just too , im probably definitely tunnel-visioning, and framing my thoughts like CoM too much? Lol bc , obsessed. But.

I, basically. Like, Kh4. Does not have to be defined by its "number status". I guess. Given the "side games" can also be main installments that follow and progress the main storyline. Maybe it could be the other way around as well. Where, if com and ddd can be direct direct sequels to numbered titles, then numbered games could also serve to set up future major plot points without resolving them in the same game. If that makes any sense.

I guess now that ive typed shit out, what im trying to say is that i am reminded of this sometimes whenever i see, like i said, whenever i see/hear kh4 being talked about as a game that will resolve a major plot point regarding the main story aka sora and riku's story.

I would imagine the "best" way to continue from 3, is to focus on sora (which, going by the one trailer, seems to be what would be the case). But a good example of what i mean regarding the issue of "resolving" sora and riku's stories, would be to have two separate segments. I don't necessarily mean within the same game, tho it could, ig, depending on whatever length/depth the devs want to go for. Point is, shared game or not, I personally feel like sora and riku both need a dedicated, route. For people to go through.

I dont mean like, sora and riku both need a set-up game/segment each, and then a separate game would resolve what would eventually be their (shared) plotline. If anything, i feel like it could work out if we played through sora's stuff in 4, and then riku's route (again, whether it's within the same game or in a separate one) could serve as the resolution game.

Im not making sense but, i just wanted to overthink and overexplain about the feeling i have. Regarding "everything will climax in kh4!" I just dont feel like it should, ig is what im saying.

And again, im not saying that "bc kh4 is a numbered game, the current arc will be forced to resolve in that game". I like seriously doubt that would be the case. Bc, duh, the last arc just ended in 3. And i also know the phrasing of "x plot point will be addressed and resolved in 4" is literally just the best/only framework we have right now. We cant rly predict what game will come out when, and what would happen in each one. But if we treat this phrase literally for just a moment—

#you get this rambly bs #lol #my ramblings put to paper #kh4 speculation #this isn't like organized thoughts or amazing by far its rly just some spur of the moment bs #in regards to #kh4 #riku game #yes yes do not come at me with verum rex i am aware #i /cannot/ think of the right tags atm #im completely blanking #will tag properly later #but yeah a CoM-esque game/approach to the upcoming installment(s) is a perfect example of those potentialities im talking about #kh4 is not a kh2 game #is what i feel will be the case #and this isnt me trying to pretend im smart to cover my ass from 'embarrassment' ?? or some shit? for saying shit about kh4 #and then being completely wrong about the timing or whatever #i would in fact prefer that we all be wrong and that kh4 is just the tip of the iceberg so that we can get more food #i already talked about that in the actual post tho so #also im not ragging on the mobile games themselves but i dont feel like a mobile game's content /existing/ would be a decent enough—#—justification for throwing all its lore and unresolved plot points into a major console game without giving enough context within the—#—console game itself. kh3 was mostly fine ig given xehanort and yen sid never stfu about the keyblade war. but in a way. I personally feel—#—like maybe it could've been done even better or more justice if kh3 itself included a bit more khux-related stuff. just a smidge. and i—#—say this bc a lottt has happened/been revealed since then. in the mobile games. and i 1% fear the possibility of mobile game content—#—being highlighted without 'enough' context to make its inclusion. basically to do it justice. like in the moment the novelty alone is—#—enjoyable/interesting but at the same time. it might come across as a touch random or off-beat maybe. im al for the mobile games and their—#—stories. not saying not to make note of their relevance. def give us more. just voicing some 'concerns' regarding pacing ig #lol so this post was overly serious lol how cringe of me 😆#@ the reply in the notes bc im lazy: no I know kh4 isn't meant to be the last game lmao like i said its just the number that throws me off

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paranormal-potatoes · 2 years

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Here is a sad prompt with the old man, Gherman:

"....You were... My sunshine, My only.. S-sun... Shine, You made me happy... When skies... We-were gray... You'll ne-never.... Know, Dear, How much I loved you...."

*His voice becomes shakier, Tears begin to fall*

"....So please... Oh please don't take.... M-my sunshine away...."

"....Gehrman, Are you....crying?"

okay i swear i meant for this to be angstier but uhh idk, not as much crying, could be more but i need to just post what i have before i overthink and then never do it bc ~anxiety~ also this hasn't been betaed or edited that much so. also ended up longer than i thought so under readmore. also ended up only having like 1 line of the song being said/sang bc i feel weird about including songs in stories unless its like. karaoke or a song playing on the radio

takes place in my time travel au. anyways have this before i chicken out

given im posting this from my phone, i hope the formatting doesnt fuck up.

=====

“...my sunshine, my only sunshine...”

“... are you singing?”

Taylor startles, spinning around and knocking their Saw Cleaver to the ground, fortunately missing the bottles by the work table.

Hm, I should probably move those, it’ll be quite a mess if they break.

“Fuck! How are you so quiet? You’re in a wheelchair!”

They’ve been here some time, their mask hanging around their neck instead of pulled up to their nose. A new scar marks their neck, likely a fatal one from its placing.

They retrieve their weapon, placing it back on the table.

He should probably ask how they’re handling the constant dying.

“Were you singing?” he repeats instead.

To his amusement, their cheeks immediately redden.

Good gods, they need more sunlight, they’re paler than Maria was.

They rub the back of their neck, embarrassed.

“No? I’m not that good at singing.”

And some self-confidence. Are they this nervous in combat?

“I was just humming, I’m sorry if–”

He interrupts, “Why are you apologizing?”

They shrink a bit and he can hear Ludwig lamenting his people skills, already poor before his confinement. He prefers teaching over reassurance.

Gehrman tries a different approach.

“What can you hear?”

They blink, tilting their head to listen, the burnt feather edges of their cap making them even more birdlike.

Hm, I wonder if Eileen is still the Hunter of Hunters.

“Wind. The fire. Messengers chittering,” they frown, focusing.

“And what does Yharnam sound like?”

Their expression blanks for a moment.

“Before nightfall,” he clarifies.

“Um. Dogs, people moving inside their homes. Quiet talking, birds. Water in the canal. Wind, fire crackling. Huntsmen walking around,” they list.

He lifts an eyebrow.

“Oh,” they realize what he’s getting at. “It’s a lot quieter here. There’s less, uh, life.”

“I might prefer quiet over dozens of talking people, but that’s a preference, not–” he gestures around them.

“That’s a choice.”

Well, this was a choice, too, but not one he knew the extent of.

Their expression suggests they’re familiar with choices being taken from them.

“Your humming, or singing, isn’t a problem. You’re welcome to continue.”

They nod hesitantly.

He leaves.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

After that, he hears Taylor humming in the Dream, sometimes singing softly enough he can only catch some of the words.

(“...my sunshine, my only sunshine...”)

They always turn to humming or simply stop when they notice him.

They’ll come looking for him at times, if only to say hello, sometimes asking questions or showing him something they’ve found.

He almost starts laughing when they show him a Reiterpallasch and Chikage they recovered from Cainhurst. He’s less amused when they explain they found an unopened summons addressed to them, even less so when they admit they accepted a covenant with the Vileblood Queen.

They grudgingly tell him what happened in Cainhurst, about Logarius and the Vileblood slaughter, how the grounds are overrun with bloodlickers and dead women roam the halls.

He doesn’t know how to feel about that.

Maria’s mother came to the funeral to see her daughter again, refusing to look at any of the hunters. Her cousin, Cole, spent ten minutes glaring at Gehrman, blaming him for his cousin’s death.

He doesn’t disagree.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Taylor brings more weapons to show him, ones they found in Yharnam or the dungeons.

They’re extremely delighted to show him ones recovered from the dungeons, enamored with the Beast Cutter and Boom Hammer.

He shows them a picture of the Whirligig Saw, telling them it was designed by the Powder Kegs, who also made their Rifle Spear and the Boom Hammer.

Their eyes glitter in excitement.

Perhaps telling them about it was a mistake.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

They find some of Teague’s old writing from before he shortened his name. He would be delighted someone else who rejected gender would take his name.

Teagan looks far livelier than when they first arrived.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

He finds himself humming as he puts them back together, stitching their chest closed.

A beast didn’t do this. This was done by a knife, someone was careful and deliberate. Someone with experience carved them open.

(“H–help...”)

He shouldn’t have let himself become this attached. Once the hunt ends, they’ll be gone, forgetting all of this. He and Plain Doll will be alone once more.

He keeps humming and putting them back together.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

He finds himself humming the tune again while working on a Saw Cleaver.

He’s accepted this isn’t a dream, which leaves him with time travel. Somehow he’s in the past, before the first Blood Moon, before his contract.

Before Maria’s suicide and Teague’s death.

Before Teagan.

He’s sure they had something to do with this. If it were a dream, he’d say Flora was responsible but it isn’t.

Are they somewhere in the past? Or did they take his place?

No. Why would he have been pushed into the past if they had? So where are they? What happened to them?

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Teague, unsurprisingly, comes to find him, leans against the doorframe in silence.

“Still having too realistic dreams?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Or, uh, are you just not sleeping to avoid them?”

“Like you’re one to talk.”

Teague and Maria carried the most guilt over the hamlet. Maria threw herself into caring for her patients and Teague tried to run from it for a long time.

They all did. Sooner or later, it caught up to them. He hopes they at least found peace in death, but he doubts it.

Sometimes he thinks he got lucky, undying as he was. Other times he envies them for finding release from the guilt.

He wonders how Teague would react if he told him everything. Probably think he went mad. Perhaps he has. He has no proof anything he remembers happened at all.

Even his right leg is back, which keeps taking him by surprise. He keeps expecting pain when he walks for too long but it never comes. His memory isn’t failing him constantly and the world is no longer foggy.

It feels like a gift. It feels like a curse.

He shouldn’t have gotten so attached to Teagan, he shouldn’t have let them get so attached.

He has nothing of the dream but memories, a song he doesn’t even know the words to and the knowledge Teagan likely sacrificed something to give him a sunrise.

“... Gehrman, are you crying?” Teague asked.

He reaches up and finds tears.

“It would seem so.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Teague snorts.

“Yeah, figured. It’s like pulling teeth with you. Between you and Maria, I’m about ready to get Ludwig involved. Let you two get motherhenned.”

“I’ll tell him you’re the one who broke his bedroom door.”

Teague holds his hands up in surrender, alarmed.

“Geez, alright, alright! No need to go that far, damn!”

He wipes the tears away.

“But, uh, seriously. I’m willing to listen.”

“I know. Go to sleep, if I have to wake you up in the morning, I’m using a bucket of water.”

“Only if you stop for the night and get some sleep yourself. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your shitty sleeping habits.”

He sighs but lays his tools down.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

“So!” Ludwig claps his hands, grinning brightly. “Someone from the south brought word of a village that had a three day long storm.”

Maria’s expression tightens. If he didn’t know what to look for now, Gehrman would have missed it. He kicks himself for missing it last time.

“And? Storms can be fucked up,” Teague said, picking at his nails.

“They aren’t normally preceded by a light burning through the woods and the waters rising several feet before the storm. It happened a month ago. They’ve requested assistance, the wildlife has turned aggressive and avoids the deep woods.”

“What is the village’s name?” Maria looks as she always had, but Gehrman can see the guilt and shame weighing on her now.

“Aramore. I thought us five could go investigate.”

“No, originally you wanted to take some new Hunters and I vetoed it because they wouldn’t be able to convince you not to adopt twenty children,” Laurence said, amused.

Ludwig waves him off.

“Bet we’re still coming home with a kid,” Teague jokes.

“Don’t jinx us, Amelia’s enough,” Gehrman said.

“Yes, my daughter is wonderful,” said Laurence, deliberately ignoring the two’s meaning. “She’d probably like a sibling. Or maybe one of you two will bring home a child.”

“Hell no, I’m not having kids ever.”

“I can barely tolerate adults, what makes you think I want a child?”

Teagan comes to mind. He doesn’t know when they were born or even their birth name but he thinks they would be the only child he’d choose to care for. Although, with his luck, he’d traumatize them more than they already were.

He turns his attention back to Ludwig, pushing the thoughts aside. The chances of him being able to find them again are low, especially without a birth year and family name. And even if he could find them again, he wouldn’t be able to do anything. They mentioned a mother once, clearly living and he’s not kidnapping a child.

It's pointless to consider.

He has nothing from the dream but memories and a song he doesn’t know the words to.

#potato answers #wyrms-bitch #potato writes fic #my writing #its been uhhhh ages since ive posted anything not wip so literally just take this before i chicken out and delete everything ever #oh fuck do i want this in the main bb tag #hhhhhhnnnnnggggg #do it do it do it just do it #bloodborne #literally cant express how rusty i am in writing #yes i know its mostly dialogue and introspection #im bad at description #wait no its deliberate. totally #totally deliberate #okay im just stalling at this poitn so fuck ig #ANYWAYS TAKE THIS #the actual au fic this is part of (not that this will be in it‚ this is just a one shot) is primarily a comedy so just #be aware #potato rambles in tags #<- BIG TIME RAMBLING #IM GONNA GO PLAY AND PRETEND IM NOT HORRIBLY ANXIOUS NOW HAHAHA #im deeply attached to this old man alright #WAIT HANG ON IF YOU'RE STILL READING THESE TAGS‚ EVERY RELATIONSHIP MENTIONED IS PLATONIC #INCLUDING MARIA AND GEHRMAN #I EXTREMELY READ HER AS GAY AND HIM AS AROACE #i also can read him as gay but mostly aroace #okay bye now #potatoes finished fics #fic: old man hunter & his eldritch child

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atinycupofpositivitea · 1 year

Note

Hii, it's been a long time since I logged on to this site. I'm just here to say thank you and also to apologise.

About a year ago, you helped me a lot with my worries and overthinking, you gave me a lot of helpful advice that definitely changed my way of thinking and helped ease my anxiety and overthinking. So big thank you for that! I'm really grateful 💗

I'm also sorry because back then, I sent quite a few asks about different worries of mine but I never quite mentioned that it was me (aka the same anon) so it might have lead to you thinking those were different people? I mean, i kinda tried to not seem like the same person because i thought it might annoy you or bother you if i nake it obvious that the same person sent so many questions/asks so i kinda tried to not make it obvious and ended up making it seem kinda like those were sent by different people. But i didn't mean anything bad by it.

Your blog was a safe space and a platform where i got support that i needed but without realizing it back then, i feel like i ended up taking advantage of your kindness even though i didn't mean it. I guess i was kinda desperate for support but didn't wanna bother you too much. When i had two different worries i wanted your opinions on, i just thought "well writing it in the same ask would be too long and confusing" but i also thought sending separate asks and mentioning it was me on both would make you annoyed by me? Maybe it would make you feel like i was being too demanding and maybe it would make you ignore me?

So i tried to seem like it was different people or at least not seem like the same person by changing up my way of talking/writing in different asks. Idk why i did that really. (God this sounds so wrong and embarrassing im sorry)

Oh but at first, i didn't even think about any of this. I just sent my questions then suddenly started worrying if it would be weird and if its wrong to ask more than one or two questions in different asks....then thought "oh maybe it is wrong" and did that :(

But if this bothers you, then I'm really really sorry. I didn't realise it back then but i ended up depending too much on you out of desperation and maybe unknowingly took advantage of your kindness in a way but only realized it recently. I never meant anything bad. I know this ask could either make you hate me or maybe you don't mind what i did, but either way, I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry for that, honestly. And thank you again for all the help too. I'm very grateful. If i ever send any ask in the future, I'll try to mention it's me but if you don't want me to interact with your blog, i understand that too. Thank you for reading.

Hey Anon ❤️ I remember you! It's lovely to hear that somehow this blog helped you cope with your anxiety and overthinking. That's good progress, and you made it! 🥺🥺❤️

As for the multiple asks, I truly wasn't bothered nor annoyed. I think that you realising that it might have been a little ambiguous to make multiple asks, it's a sign of improvement and surely you'll be more comfortable with a bigger ask then "pretending" to be different people. I want you to remember more importantly something that you have said about your past: you were in a tough situation. You did the choice that you deemed best for your mental health and your needs, and even if now you acknowledge that it wasn't the best idea, it wasn't wrong or evil. You did your best with the knowledge you had.

I'm so happy you came round to share your thoughts and progress, it really warms my heart to have conversations with you and the community. We are all in this together and all of our struggles become less intimidating when there's people sharing their journey. This is true for me at least.

Anon, don't forget your vibes are good. You might struggle with anxiety and other issues but that's okay and we all are struggling with something, no one is perfect and looking down on each other is a despicable way to gain confidence. You're perfect the way you are and I love you.

P.S. sorry this answer comes so late! Have been struggling myself and now i luckily feel better ☺️

#tw anxiety #tea gets chatty #positive mental attitude #positive thoughts

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jeysbvck · 2 years

Note

I definitely have a similar problem. I haven’t written a fic in YEARS and I’ve only ever done a couple one shots. I really want to get back into it because I have ideas but I have zero confidence. Is that idea too similar to existing fics? Is it too weird/ooc? Does anyone even want to read that character anymore? And I know this isn’t helping you, but Idk I guess I wanted you to know that I understand where you’re coming from. Also I love your writing and you’re definitely someone I look up to on Tumblr.

honestly i hadn't wrote a fic in years for that exact reason! my first dip back into writing was this year, and as much as ive fallen back in love with it, its still stressful and scary! ive got ideas that i don't wanna write bc there's better fics out there with the same idea and im scared of being accused of copying! i also don't know whether to start doing OC x character fics bc idk if people are interested in non reader & as much as i write for myself (i have wips that i have no intention of posting right now), it's silly to think that no writer is gonna feel a bit defeated if their work doesn't get interactions!

i really hope you post your one shots, and that you come here and let me know so i can read them, bc i love it when people finally get back into what they love, and i try to be as supportive as possible!

i am going to go cry now bc that means so much to me🥺🥰 you say it doesn't help, but knowing that its not just me overthinking everything does help, & knowing that you like my fics helps even more, especially when my brain isn't being too kind!<3

i'm so grateful that you read my fics, and i can't believe someone looks up to lil old me and my lil old chaotic mess of a blog<33333

#shan speaks #will never tire of getting sweet anon messages #or sweet messages in general

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ayvepeedee · 6 months

Text

entry seven I forgor

never trust someone with a dissociative disorder to remember .

umm idk when i last updated this but i Think it was like sept oct soooo uh update, i have a TUMOR and its most likely not but COULD be cancer ummm and still with the gf, after the update ill talk abt current events that relates to hir currently, ummm im failing 4 classes and ive officially decided on my major/career but not in my college! i have however been contemplating going to canada!!! umm im besties with my friend aki i bought her and my gf and i lethal company and thats been a recent

uhhhh RECENTS! OF TODAY/LATELY

i have been pretty like mentally exhausted and exhausted in general! im barely passing classes and the ones i am are guaranteed passing cause its music and Woodshop. Fuck woodshop hope it dies! i talked to my doctor i was on birth control for periods and she recommended i stay off until i talk to a surgeon to have SURGERY and what they decide dictates if i still should but ive been put onnnnnnnum nausea meds and migraine meds !

uhhh abt my gf stuff, specifically today

shi has been feeling weird lately and today was like that kinda breaking point, shi has someone in front that manages episodes (mania depressive ect) nd shi thinks something bad is gonna happen soon and i feel bad cause i feel like shi should be happy cause shi deserves it all! i know that doesnt just happen but shi deserves to be happy shis been thru a lot and i care about hir!!!! so i let hir know once shi was sleeping that shi can talk to me about stuff, or shi doesnt have to! cause talking to an app with a bunch of people that are unbiased and dont know you va your boyfriend biased and knows you is different! and i get how shi might want both, one or the other, or neither maybe! but i still want hir to know im there and that i care!

gf stuff, not just today

lately shis been tiring me and doing things shi wants to do and like when im not interested in things i dont wanna be mean about it just Don't wanna do it and i don't want hir to think i dont care cause i do i just don't wanna do it myself when shi could do it when its something shis talking to me about but also last time we talked about something together i said hey i need reassurance a lot and shi did it twice and hasn't done it again and i just don't like feel like that easy i need that reassurance helllooooo tumblr user ayvepeedee here !!!! and shis my safe person but its like ill always overthink that'll never change !!!!

i was in a call with my gf and aki for 500 HOURS can you believe that! it was SO DRAINING but it was really fun! it made me sad when they'd hang without me cause id be at school or i was tired but they were nice to be around! theyre my besties i love them

i.ummm have missed A Bit of school causeof my doctor stuff! and im gonna keep doing that :( like if i end up getting surgery for my tumor it'll probably be in a school day and thats likr at least a day or two or more of rest cause like my tumors in my boob and i have to be REALLY careful in that area rn and after surgery it'll be extra sensitive for a while and im kinda a rough person so ive been less rough but like ACK! IM LIKE ZONING OUT WHILE WRITING THIS IS ENOUGH BYYYEEEE!!!! :3

#diary #actually adhd #actually autistic #actually avoidant #actually avpd #actually borderline #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #milos diary #lgbt #queer

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baekhvuns · 8 months

Note

IM BACKKKKKK

Bestie, ateez ain't making it easy for me to live especially seonghwa. 😮‍💨 BCZ THOSE LONG HAIR AND THOSE POOL PICTURES AGHHHHHHHH GOD! Anyways, about my life 😃, so, i am taking like a drop year...i obviously had to as you know my whole situation BUT I'll be doing some certificate courses and you know learning something skill based while i...do a job, yes you heard tht right😞 I GOTTA MAKE SOME MONEYYY and honestly I've cancelled out going abroad for a few years at least, I'll solely would be focusing on living here and...yeah. I'm not completely giving up, but, focusing on some other things. Mhm. The only prblm is tht my mum thinks I'm, wasting a year and considering how much of an overthinker she is, she's worrying about what others would say and Quite honestly I don't give a shit...the universe wanted me to do this...like this is my life and it's going on how it was planned so I don't see why I should be bothered by a few relatives 🙄

And other than that I HV BEEN OBSESSED WITH CHALEYA 😭 like I sing tht song every 3 seconds fr i can't. And I've been getting obsessed with oneus, their new single baila conmigo 😮‍💨 oh my lord. Another controversial thing...i didn't like jungkook's new single 3D ..... like...what was even the point?? Bro- and i hv no idea who jack Harlow is..I've seen people obsessing over him BUT THT RAP 😭 NAUR THT DIDN'T DO IT FOR ME. and honestly, it's so weird how jungkook's basically singing abt doing the deed every damn time, like ok boi I get it, and I liked seven obviously BUT I HOPE HIS ALBUM DOESN'T HV EVERY SONG IN IT LIKE THIS!

Ok what're your opinions about this whole lisa situation tho? Her performance at tht one r-rated dance thingy? Honestly, ok hear me out, idfc what lisa or Jennie anyone does in general, it was her choice she did it...and people keep hating on her bcz tht what people do...what I want to say, is what if it was a bg member...like what if it was jk or taehyung doing something like this? I bet all these girls would go crazy and be obsessed over it or something like, "omg they're breaking the kpop standard" i genuinely despise this double standard thing.

Ok rmr i told you my cousin was getting married HER WEDDING IS SET IN JANUARY 😭 AND I'M THINKING ABT MY DRESSES AND ALL. And I've been a little crazy abt traditional and ethnic clothes rlly, like yesterday me and my mum were acting like besties on a girl's night fr, we took out so many clothes and tried em in, she made me wear a saree 😭 AND IT LOOKED SO GOOD LOKE SAREE TRULY GIVES AN ELEGANT AND RICH LOOK, i felt like those 1920s rich mistresses. I mostly wear Western clothing, like only ever rarely, you'll find me wearing a suit or something similar but as I'm growing up my feminine energy keeps on blossoming so i def wanna wear a suit.

Can you imagine it will be my first ever suit...my younger cousins hv worn those things so many times and I'm making my new one, progress ig.

But yeah and no my mackenyu obsession is not dying down 😃. OH ALSO ITS HOODIE SEASON FINALLY THE ONLY THING I LOKE ABT WINTERS! And forget about the present seonghwa...THE BABY SEONGHWA 😭😭 HES SO CUTE LOOL AT THOSE CHEEKS I WANNA NOM NOM 😭

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwWTt1dgpk0/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

SOMEONE SAID IT WORKS BCZ HES 11 YRS OLDER THN ME?!?! GURL 11 YRS 😭😭?!?! HOW OLD R U???

HELLLOOO!!

the long hair and the pools pics omg no bc those has me screaming at night hfkwjdlw

oooo like a gap year??? but on certificates omg ok what certificates r u doing 👁👁 marketing, sales certifications r >>> I GET IT 😭😭 need to make money in this economy can’t even breathe without having to pay

omg not the what will others say, the brown parents and the “log kya kahenge” will NEVER leave their minds god damnit,,, tell ur mom gap years r a good decision 😭😭😭 !!!!! travel, live a little and idk start a small business or a job! no ur right, if it turned out this way it means it’s meant to be done this way <3 FUCK YOUR RELATIVES RESPECTFULLY i can’t believe it’s still the same mindset in every brown parent’s mind 😭😭

STOPPPP I HWVE BEEN TOO I WAS JUST HUMMING TO IT AND DOING THE DANCE STEP (have not watched jawan yet!) SUCH A CATCHY SONG???? SRK DOING IT AGAIN,,, omg oneus ive not heard abt them in a WHILE

ooooo ive only heard the part that replays on ig = the chorus so in that sense i grew to like it ive been doing the dance to it that “u know how i like it girrrrlll” part kdvwmcjclikc I DIDNT LISTEN TO JACKS PWRT IM AFRAID ITLL RUIN IT FOR ME FBWKDJKW LMFAOOOO honestly i don’t mind,, i do hope his album has lil different genres, pop, dance, r&b, reggaeton etc excited for it actually!!

hmm so i get the whole “ur a kpop idol pls maintain a image” but honestly it’s not that bad??? it’s a creative choice and it’s a form of dance that’s on the more provocative side?? but u know what i do dislike, those toilets they have in the men’s washroom at crazy house that are a WOMENS MOUTH STRUCTURE. if it’s seen as an empowering thing, i completely disagree with it

but again, idk the issue but i also get why knetizens r talking abt it bc asia is quite conservative to these things so they find it weird and all and prefer to keep it under wraps UNLIKE THEIR MEN THAT GO SEE IT SO FJWKDJKW ur right,, if any other man did it (they literally do it w the stage outfits some of them wear) they’d get 100k likes and praises but when it’s blackpink and blackpink esp it’s suddenly a big controversy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOP THIS IS SO EXCITING I LOVE TALKING ABT TRADITIONALS FJWKDJKWHSKS stop the 10/10 mom daughter bonding moment omg i do this w my mom like thrice a week and get to wear her wedding clothes and jewelry!! STOP NOT HER BRINGING THE SAREES OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAA A 90’S MISTRESS??? 😩 UR MAKEUP BETTER BE THE UNAPPROACHABLE ONE W THOSE JHUMKASS STOP IT

omg ur turning into a women, i used to be like that too (partially bc we never have events for me to wear them at) but it’s so comforting and feminine-y to pick out fabrics and jewelries and matching outfits for weddings 😭😭😭 ur turning into a women omg <33333 but omf lmk i will rec u stores to buy clothes from and ur gonna gate keep them 🔫

STOP THOSE CHEEKS STOP IT IM GONNA BITE

link no.

11 YEARS?? ELEVEN YEARS???? WHAT THE FUCK????? ANON UR A CHILD WHY R U HERE …. he’s 4 years older than me 😭😭

#✉️ : ask #[ rosesapphiremysticalrose ]

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