#if only she knew how i felt

[medievalfoxx]

i want nothing more than to crawl into her bed right now and curl up in her arms. listen to her softly breathe as i slowly succumb to a deep sleep. feel her body move as she dreams and wrap my arms around her chest, feel her soft skin under mine. i want to kiss her capped lips softly as she is deep in sleep, just as reassurance that im still here. i want to feel safe in her bed alongside with her, as if we are the only two people who matter.

#if only she knew how i felt #wlw crush #wlw #wlw yearning #wlw community #wlw post #wlw blog #wlw love #lesbian #lesbian yearning #lesbian post #lesbian blog #sapphic #sapphic yearning #yearning #yearning hours #i want to love and be loved #and she doesn’t even know it #she is everything #wlw mood

[cirnogaming]

artemis is one of the best characters ever created i think. she likes to feel like a cobb salad when shes having sex. she serves cunt at all hours of the day. shes bisexual. shes jewish. she's always serving a look. she is constantly on psychedelic drugs. she fucks nasty in the dumpster behind wendy's. shes perfect

#iasip #from time to time i think about how artemis transcribed charlies play into a script #with seemingly nothing to gain from it #besides the fact that charlie is her friend and she got to help put on a show #do you think she knew? do you think while writing it all down she figured out what it was actually about #i mean she doesn't deny what everyone is saying about the script but she kind of sides with charlie when he starts bickering with the gang #do you think she felt like the kinder option was to just let him express himself the way he wanted to.. #compared to the rest of the gang she's honestly a pretty selfless person #i mean yeah. she'll usually only get into something if it benefits her #but sometimes there's no reason for her to be involved. someone just asked her for help and she showed up

[ruporas]

studies from the finale

#nicholas d wolfwood #meryl stryfe #trigun #trigun stampede #honestly the grand highlight. #anyway i think i ... drained all my thoughts of ep12 on saturday. i was like... all day drawing stuff for that episode and then circling #those thoughts but mainly #im just excited for season 2. im so so excited for s2. AND IM EXCITED FOR.. all of the steady appearance of trimax stuff again #like when they recited quote to quote of vash and knives conversation when they were on their way up to space #the i'll keep running and after 150 years this is what you have to say godddddd #GODDDDDD i felt so much in that moment. GODDDDDDD #IM REALLY EXCITED... because i dont know what to necessarily expect from s2 too. there is a LOT of setup that happened in s1 and it #will fundamentally change how we view the characters and their relationships to one another i think? especially the main trio and #and and and and MILLLLYYYYYYYY GAHHHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED FOR HER!!! MILLY!!!!!! we all knew she was coming back. it was only natural. #i really hope they keep as Much as they can from the original design. ESPECIALLY HER PERSONALITY. god. do not take away her personality. and #do not take away her bigness i will CRY. but overall im happy the og 4 are going to be back and theyll be closer than before bc of all they #experienced together.... and ahhhh everything with knives... vash and his eriks arc.... #im rambling again but there's obviously a lot of hype there...eughh eughehu i love trigun so much i love love love love trigun #ruporas art

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[thaliagrayce]

y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.

#hazel levesque #hoo #mj talks #like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there #the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus #of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo #which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war! #the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died #even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level #and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real #heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more! #also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you! #anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing #she deserves it <3 #nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it #and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered #hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches #and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore' #and move on like it's nothing! what! #underworld siblings

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing #painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her #i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but #the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach #streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow #im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected #i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes #not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her #how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want #her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest #but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b #so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so #much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming #i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby #unrelated

[schmweed]

Succession | S02E02

#Gerri Kellman #Roman Ray #Can you just come over? I... I want you in the room. #The entitled-yet-timid-yet-hopeful way he asks! #I think he had zero idea how he felt about Gerri. The attraction he knew. The show showed us that with Gerri's very first appearance in 102 #But I don't think he knew how deeply this thing ran and that it wasn't just about attraction. I don't think he knew he was in love #I love that the amazing Jesse Armstrong wrote “thrown” under Gerri's name after Roman asks her this #Also Roman would never be that vulnerable with anyone else. Ever. #only her. These two. My heart! They WILL get their happy ending. #Succession #my gifs #I love how Gerri has ZERO idea what's happening. She's offended that he swore and hung up #She has no idea Roman let himself be so vulnerable his only resort now -- the only tool he knows -- is swearing and feigned nonchalance. #Also also! How much he needs her presence. I love how Jesse Armstrong wrote it. #The absolute simple heart-wrenching honesty of “I want you in the room” #and he didn't even know. He didn't even KNOW back then that he's in love with her.

[androidboy]

-

#ive got this awful feeling i just want to scoop out #i feel stupid and sensitive #like ive hardened myself to all this shit so the fact that i’m being affected by it is also making me mad at myself #my family didn’t want me around for thanksgiving and didn’t want me there for the family christmas party and didn’t want to #spend christmas with me because my mom doesn’t want me around the extended family because of how far in my transition i am #and my gf put off asking her fam about bringing me over for christmas for a month #and barely just asked and it sounds like they don’t want me there either #and tbh i kinda knew they wouldn’t #but also i feel like my gf also didn’t actually want me there which is why she put off asking for so long #and idk #i felt like with how far along i am in emotionally and physically recovering from stuff #and then also having a partner for the holidays for the first time #i would’ve left my sad sandra bullock era. but i have not #the only person who wants me around for the holidays is my dad and ive got such a weird relationship with him #and it literally would just be me and him alone #my dads side of the family doesn’t want me there either bc of the trans thing i just feel really fuckin #disgusting #feeling very goop monster

[haunted-xander]

Upon your return, I will gift you a beautiful flower

#thought about meteion & hermes too much and now i have Feelings #god. they loved each other so so much #hermes created meteion to get the answer he wanted but she was so much more than that #it hurt him to see her share his pain even though it was what she was made for #and meteion in turned hated to see him upset #hermes cared so much and it caused him so much sorrow #which was made worse by the world he lived in basically ignoring that depression and sadness existed #to him no one else felt this way. he was the only one cursed with this misery and he sought to figure out why #why does he feel this pain? why are the others blind to it? whats the point of it all? #and thus he made meteion #and then when her sisters reported their findings back #she tried to prevent hermes from hearing it bc she knew it wasnt the answer he wanted #and it was so so painful to hear and she wanted to spare him that #but hermes wanted to listen to meteion regardless of what the answer was #bc her words mean more to him than anything else #and when the meteia decides that life should be obliterated to spare the people misery #he agrees bc if thats what meteion says then thats how it is #ueueueeueue #hermes #meteion #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[infizero]

people on twitter be normal about acht's gender (impossible)

#first i saw someone saying ''its possible its a she/they situation judging from appearance'' which. jesus fucking christ #and now i saw someone saying they felt that them wearing a dress was. out of character?????? #which. is insane to me. you are aware that we barely knew anything about them as a person until now right #what the fuck are you talking about. how can them wearing a dress be out of character WE DIDNT KNOW THEIR CHARACTER!!!!!!!!! #you can feel like they'd look better in pants but saying that a dress is out of character for someone we know nothing about ??? #kind of just feels like. you think nonbinary people can't wear dresses #also personality does not equal gender presentation???? no one's personality dictates whether or not they would wear a dress #unless part of their personality is ''i hate dresses and would never wear one'' or that they always dress more neutrally/masculine #which. neither of those is true for acht. as far as we know. we have seen them a total of one time (album cover) where you can only #see up from the waist. and again WE BARELY KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM AS A PERSON BEFORE SIDE ORDER #idk it doesnt really matter its just bizarre to me. them wearing a dress isnt ooc you either just dont think nb people can wear dresses #or you have a made-up fanon version of acht in your head that is now going against what they've been revealed to be like in canon #i dont know. its just weird. they're just vibing man #serena.txt #splatoon

[quietwingsinthesky]

Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.

Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?

And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.

What do you think about it?

no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.

because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)

and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?

river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)

they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.

mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.

they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.

all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.

mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'

god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.

#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river #means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much. #that's her daughter but it's also her best friend. #but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself. #a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing. #and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this. #the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*. #we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep #one hand armed. #and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little. #(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named #melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come #here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it. #and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river. #you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you? #having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do #anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river #knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to #choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends? #according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel #in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the #and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song. #i think that's the takeaway here. #ask #doctor who #river song #amy pond #rory williams

[movedtodykedvonte]

I like stories about Peter as a civilian and him coming of age but I can’t stand the way his personal relationships are portrayed especially the romantic ones and certainly his relationship with Mary Jane. 

Even before the current run and all its character assignations, MJ has always confused me when it came to her loving Peter as Peter and as Spider-Man. It was implied and then explicitly stated for a brief while that she knew he was Spider-Man even before they started dating. She understood the responsibilities he had and seemed to sympathize with how much he had to sacrifice personally to be Spider-Man.

And then when they start dating she constantly gets fed up with his heroics. Not just worrying about him, I’m not getting on her for that, but like not having time for his personal life or his guilt complex, which she knows he struggles with. I would deem this justified if she didn’t know his idenity as Spider-Man but she did. She practically always has and it was a key part of their relationship and why things worked at first. It creates this idea that she wants him to change for her or even tone down his heroics which is again is something that causes him mental anguish and he struggles working through.

Peter isn’t innocent. He has a horrible work-life balance that hurts even those who know but Mary Jane is pitched as his match made in heave, his soul-mate. The on-again off-again nature of their relationship, often triggered by MJ, makes her seem like she had this romanticized version of being the superhero’s girl, like Lois Lane and Superman, only to realize this is real life (for them) and not that. 

She’s loyal but not much of a partner; A lover, a companion but she fails to provide that true support in understanding. Her patience frequently comes with ultimatums and I can’t fathom why the writers or editorial writes her like this for drama when it would much more enthralling to have her disdain and resentment come from her husband's almost dying everyday rather than not having time for her.

#its felt like a hollow marrigae for a while but OMD and everything after sorta threw the issues into the forefront #I like every other love intrest more cause their frustrations have more validity in theyve been with him far shorter of a time and arguably #end things simply because the worry grief and betrayal at being lied to is too much #MJ doesnt get those cause she knew she knew Peter's issues and decided to take his baggage only to act odd when she realzies how heavy it is #and how it would way her down that he gets tramatized pretty often #like have her care for him after fights and vocalize her concerns she always waits until she explodes and #i just want him to have a partner that cares for him and spider-man and gets it #bring back chat for the love of god let him be happy. have a real permanent companion that isnt also a hero #peter parker #spider-man #spiderman #mary jane watson #spiderverse #marvel comics

[hella1975]

so it turns out it was actually never that serious

#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that #like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit #then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it #and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year #and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers #im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from #but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss #and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module #bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam #which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!! #oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE #just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3 #im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks #so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine #and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN #im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory #alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out #i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds #is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say #hella goes to uni

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[nctjpeg]

so….. “see myself in a documentary” was an item on my bucket list that i didn’t know i had but can now be crossed off…….

#lizzy's personal posts #they made a documentary about that goth club i go to #and towards the very end of the movie when they film a night at the current venue #there are shots of me not only in the crowd but full on solo shots of me dancing #and to be honest i knew there was a non zero chance i’d be in the film #i remember seeing a camera guy film me do my thing #but this was in 2021 and i was not nearly as established in the scene and i was in an awful friend group…. #where i felt overshadowed ALL THE TIME and i just assumed they’d use other footage #bc i know how filmmaking works and not everything shot gets used. hell MOST doesn’t get used #but there i was…. on the big screen @ the premiere…. MULTIPLE TIMES #when i saw they included the footage i started bawling (happily) like a baby #it feels very ‘full circle’ moment to sit in a movie theater eating popcorn and then suddenly there’s you from 3 years ago #like. me! when i was in my ‘loser era!’ and she got put in a movie! #CORRECTION: they filmed almost 2 years ago. not 3 haha. still it feels like a whole lifetime has passed