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secretly-sapphic-confessions · 1 year

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I have been needing to get this off my chest so Im so happy I found this blog (I have been looking for a wlw confession blog for a long time so I must thank you!) TW: HOMOPHOBIA, CURSING (only a little bit) As someone who Is a closeted lesbian in a homophobic family, I have to hear phrases like "Lesbians are disgusting animals!" or "LGBTQ+ is a sin!" or "These people are pathetic and sad and have no value in life!" every day. It always makes me wonder... what would happen when I come out (if I ever actually.) Would they stop these comments, would they treat me as a human, would they apologize? Or would they do the complete opposite. Will they treat me like the "disgusting animal" that I'm said to be? Will they kick me out? Will the day that I come out also be the day my life is ended? Its so fucking hard. My own family unknowingly call me the most disgusting things. I have to hear everyday that "I'm not normal." and how I am a "Sad pathetic person who has no value." Why am I like this? Why me? I hate being a lesbian, I wish I could like men but I just cant. Its getting way to hard to handle, sitting with my mom at night, wondering "How quick would my life change if I said the 5 words, "Mom, I am a lesbian."

My dear Anon, I’d like to begin with thanking you for your ask! It takes a lot to speak up about your problems, even anonymously, so thank you for trusting me with this! <3 (And I’m so glad you found the blog too! I was looking for one too and couldn’t find one so I’ll just do it myself, I’m here to serve)

I’m very sure I don’t have to tell you that those are harrowing things to hear full-stop, never-mind frequently. And Anon, i assure you that you are absolutely none of them! Never ever! Being part of the rainbow gang can be messy, overly idealised and just downright exhausting, but all through your journey you will never be an example to fit next to their false beliefs. Remember, what they say comes from a place of ignorance and centuries of corruption, it’s neither their fault nor yours, but that doesn’t make it anywhere near okay for you to be exposed to. Keep affirming yourself, you are strong, so so brave and beautiful!

As for you wondering about coming out, sometimes you can never know what the outcome will be until you do, but I will say this-

You may have heard this advice before, but I will always reiterate it as many times as possible to keep my kin safe:

never come out in a potentially hostile environment against your better judgement until you can sustain yourself, or have someone to fall back onto in the worst case scenario. (I must especially stress this if you’re young and still dependent on family for essentials/getting to a stable future). It’s absolutely crushing to think that some of us still have to hide ourselves, especially to the ones that are meant to love us most, and for that I apologise to you endlessly for your struggling, you don’t deserve this anon and it’s not okay. absolutely none of this is your fault. We’re here for you. However, if that wondering does get to you and you feel that you would be safe with your family post coming out, I would say go for it, if it’s something you want to do! (always remember you owe coming out to nobody, though! I personally never came out to my parents lmao, I just brought my then girlfriend home and they didn’t say anything, but I’m lucky that they were accepting.) I also have a few friends where their families who have been previously been horribly homophobic have changed their tune considerably after learning their child/relation is LGBT+! Sometimes homophobia does just come from a place of misinformation and normalisation, so it’s good to give them a chance to do better, nothing is set in stone when you’re willing to learn! And at the end of the day, they should always love you for you first, even if they don’t agree with the way you choose to live your life.

Unfortunately I’m someone who has also gone through hating my sexuality, so trust me, I know how it feels. But I’m primarily here to tell you that you can come out the other side of it! It may take time, and it’s going to be hard, especially around people who think differently, but being a lesbian is BEAUTIFUL! You are absolutely STUNNING anon! For just being you! And I say that with the backing of my whole heart! God choose you to be gay because you’re one of his favourite designs, you’re too good for men, trust me! ^_−☆

I sincerely hope that you’re doing okay, and that this resonates with you even a little. This isn’t just your weight to carry! My asks, submissions and even DMs (if they work) are always open for you if you’re in need (or even if you’re not, don’t be shy!) I hope my blog can come to be a safe space for you and many other likeminded individuals. (I promise there will be more content soon haha, Its a lot to work on as a new blog)

Always remember there’s a whole community behind you, and an even more loving and devoted sub-community of Wlw and Sapphics who have gone through similar things, and we’re always here to support you!

My best wishes for you going forward, I know you’ve got this!!

it will get better

~ sappho

#answered asks #sapphic confessions #wlw #tw homophobia #tw swearing #lesbian #sapphic #asks

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torturedpoetemotions · 3 years

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yo i dont wanna discourse on ppls posts and cant message u, u can decide whether to post this or not, but i just wanna say that the reason ppl call az/crowley homophobic is bc gaiman only made them word of god genderless Because people were saying oh theyre acted by two cis men so their relationship would be gay.

i, as a nonbinary queer person, wouldve loved if it had been a genuine thought out piece of representation, but it wasnt, he just said it because he didnt want people interpreting his characters as queer, and continued to do so when people said ok but theyd still be having gay sex and he said well angels are sexless and (i cant remember if he said so actually theyd be asexual or if ppl just took it that way).

im really sorry if this is news to you and obviously i dont speak for everyones opinion and interpretation of characters, but gaiman's word of god nonbinary and (again iirc) asexual canonization of them was unfortunately Not him trying to give more nuanced/marginalized rep, it Was born of homophobia because he didnt want people to see his characters as being gay/having gay sex. thats why people call it homophobic. :( again sorry but i hope this explanation helped show where others are coming from when they call it homophobic :(((

They literally cast a non-binary actor to play a non-binary character and openly showed this in marketing as a positive point for the show. They literally did non-gendered casting where they picked whoever was right for the part regardless of gender and also proudly used that fact in marketing. They had angels and demons alike be gender nonconforming/androgynous in appearance on purpose because they are stated in the book written 30+ years ago to be genderless. But go off I guess? Sure, no thought went into it, it was allllllllll just a panicked reaction to people suggesting Aziraphale and Crowley might have gay sex! /s

No seriously, all of this is so wrong I don't even know where to begin, and the "gee golly I guess you didn't know" tone doesn't help like, at all. Maybe that wasn't your intention, but I have actually read the book. I've been a fan of Neil's for years. I watched the show when it first dropped and read every single thing the man has said about it, both here and on IG and in interviews.

He was writing queer representation long before it was considered profitable or "woke" to do so (and even when it could actually have hurt his career to do so). He has been an advocate for queer people and our stories since before I was born. He has openly owned up to instances where his attempts were imperfect, and taken steps in modern adaptations to update the material based on his increased understanding. In short, you could not be more incorrect.

Neil Gaiman has also made a consistent habit, since long before Good Omens, of two things: 1) he will not answer questions about his writing with his own headcanons, ONLY what he (or in this case he and Terry) intentionally put down on the page or screen. 2) Beyond that, he leaves EVERYTHING up to fans' interpretation, because he believes once a story is released, it belongs to the fans.

This isn't new. He was like this long before the GO adaptation. And only after being pressed repeatedly and called homophobic for increasingly stupid reasons did he finally explain that no, he would not confirm Aziraphale and Crowley as gay (because genderless) but that didn't mean they weren't queer. And he still left room for fans to see what they wanted, just refused to pretend to have been writing something one way when he wrote it another. When frankly it would have been so much easier to be like "oh yeah totally they were gay men the whole time." But no. He was writing agender romance, not gay romance. That's still queer representation.

And the willful decision by scores of people to read that as homophobia is either a function of ignorance, or bad faith, or both. But I'm really tired of seeing it written down as fact when the evidence is literally there on his own fucking tumblr account that this isn't the case.

#good omens #neil gaiman #queer representation #i'm so fucking TIRED Y'ALL #ask box #faghalforc

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boomerang109 · 3 years

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oK SO I’VE HAD THIS AU IN MY HEAD FOR TWO FKN DAYS AND I HAVE COME TO EVER SO GRACIOUSLY INJECT IT INTO YOUR MIND- THE GAANG PLUS YUE AND THE FIRE NATION GALS IN BANDS. a battle of the bands au. tHINK OF THE aRt. THE ARt wOuLd bE ePiC. n i’m thinking zukka and yueki, but zuko+suki are with mai, azula, and ty lee, and the rest of the gaang+yue in another band, and they meet at battle of the bands but yk...we got 2 sets of pining idiots yk yk. i thought this up 2 days ago and i cant stopppp(cont.)

I WAS SO EXCITED TO ANSWER THIS THAT I SAVED IT FOR WHEN MY BRAIN WOULD BE FUNCTIONING BETTER

unfortunately my brain never functions better so what ended up happening is that i maybe forgot this was in here. but i’m gonna answer now and im still very excited

i actually ended up having many thoughts based on your SPECTACULAR idea and you can def tell i know nothing about rock music or battle of the bands. but i’ve got the spirit

wait you could also make this such a pining mess cause you could have the two cross-band romances (yueki and zukka) and then you could have each in-band relationship (mailee and kataang) and then azula and toph can bond over being surrounded by lovesick idiots

wait suki with nation girls (azula especially) is so powerful i actually 😍

suki as electric guitarist? and backup singer while azula is lead singer?? zuko on the drums? ty lee on keyboard? mai on another instrument—maybe she’s on drum and zuko is also a guitarist? or an instrument im forgetting (ty lee and mai are also backup singers with suki. there’s at least one song where suki is lead singer/duets with azula). zuko writes most of the songs, but mai helps a surprising amount. suki likes to edit more than write her own lyrics

im calling fire nation + suki fan the fire (get it?) and i feel like it’d be kind of an angrier rock vibe cause these are tough kids. deep lyrics for sure. but also lots of girl power (especially cause Zuko barely ever sings so it’s all female viewpoint). moments where true fans can see emotion but overall this could be the band an angsty 13 year old would blast

no creative title for this rock group. maybe aang’s gaang? aang’s the lead singer. katara’s on a normal guitar and lead female singer. sokkas on electric guitar. yue on keyboard. toph on the drums. although aang and katara are technically the band’s lead singers theyre really big on group vocals which is what sets them apart. (yue especially provides a gorgeous harmony, it’s soft but without it the songs wouldn’t be the same).

they still have a rock vibe, but i gave katara a regular guitar cause you know she’s an indie bitch and as the main writer she does get that in there. aang and yue do the music writing, katara and sokka (usually separately) do most of the lyrics, toph helps both but usually just when they’re stuck

the kind of rock that actually has encouraging lyrics and family vibes cause katara is wholesome. some of sokka’s depresso bits sneak in there too tho

okay battle of the bands. sokka hates zuko from day one cause he looks so good-looking and full of himself and even ignored sokka when he tried to introduce himself. (spoiler alert, zuko’s hearing loss + playing the drums = one oblivious boy

zuko sees sokka day one and says pretty boy—no, no. competition. gotta stay focused and crush the competition

at some point (i kinda like the idea of suki and yue kinda knowing each other and just being friendly/competitors. and then one day....) yue realizes that suki is way too damn pretty. and suki wants to hear more of a certain soft voice

when zuko and sokka get together, yue threatens to tell katara if sokka doesn’t use his new boyfriend to get yue and suki together

lucky for yue, zuko and suki were having pining sessions together and are more than happy to start going on double dates

actually kataang is established and cute. i think mailee isn’t and they should take longer than zukka/yueki cause they’re idiots (loving). but the night of some big show, zuko and sokka both dont show up cause they were locked in a closet. everyone’s pissed, fraticide likely on both sides

after the reveal of zukka, reporters are looking for more dirt on both bands. yueki gets exposed and yue tries to deny it

suki is upset, but yue eventually admits it’s just the internalized homophobia but she loves suki and does want to be with her

neither half of the couples want to compete with the others, and the rest of the bands are getting conflicted cause friendships

they become one Super Band (is this possible??? seems super cliche but whatever)

on their debut show, ty lee and mai kiss for the first time (unplanned) and if this was a movie instead of a tumblr post, it would end with azula and toph’s shared look of aro pain at being surrounded by so many damn couples

i want art of this (hey egg you art good, if you wanna?? haha jk.....unless👉👈)

#long post #Im sorry i wish I knew how to do the read more #hope these thoughts were worth the wait #boom blogs High #Maybe???#I think I’m sober but also idk #I didnt expect to have ideas cuz I didn’t the other day #and then all the sudden #I had a bunch #ask a boomerang #let’s talk more about au ideas

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the-scottish-costume-guy · 4 years

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JK Rowling, transphobia and a hopefully helpful post.

A few days ago I posted on my Facebook (yes I have one sue me) debunking some of the things Rowling has been saying on twitter. Since she made a statement I felt the need to make another one... but this time Im sharing it here. Please note this is long, it is fairly opinionated in places but her statements have felt so insidious I want to share something in depth. If you are cis I implore you to read, but I understand this is long and a lot of people wont want to. No judgement.

Jk Rowling’s latest statement is a mess of valid concerns and fear mongering. At this point there can be no claim she doesn’t know what shes talking about - she herself has said shes been researching this for years. She throws in token acknowledgements to “real” trans people while framing the rest of her statements as concern for confused teens.So first things first - and something that might not be popular with some of my trans friends. I agree that teenagers should not be able to medically transition. It is a choice that should be made when the brain is fully mature. Hormone blockers are something I trust - and that are reversible. I have seen enough detransitioned people hurting to feel like we do need to be careful - especially with children who are trying to find themselves. I dont know about other people but during my teens I was coming to the crushing realisation that I wasn’t special. I was learning that no matter how well I painted someone else did it better, no matter how badly I hurt someone had it worse - I was learning about the wonderful mediocrity of life, and having anything that made me stand out gave a brief reprieve from learning to be okay with all these things. For me to be fair it was dying my hair outrageous colours and dressing in black leather during 30 degree summer heat - but its still something we cant forget. I KNOW a lot of kids claiming to be trans are - and I dont want to keep that from them, however I dont want to cause harm to the kids that are wrong. Continuing on, I’d like to address her comments about TERFS. Terfs are Self Described Trans-exclusionary-radical-feminists and the term does get thrown around a little too liberally at times. Terf is not and never will be a slur. No more than “White” is. It is about a group of people who have taken it open themselves to segregate another group - and calling that what it is, is not a crime. The reason Terf and transphobe have become synonomic is because the ‘radical feminists’ that subscribe to this have lost focus on nearly all other issues of feminism and sit squarely on “dropping the T” from the lgbt community and “keeping men out of womens bathrooms.” Terfs are overwhelmingly women - this is sadly simply a fact. Terfs are reviled because of how much it feels like a betrayal to the community. A group that fights for rights - except ours. A group that wants equality - except for us. Its different to the conservatives who hate us all equally - with Terfs we are singled out. Terfs are not, as Rowling claims, inclusionary to Trans-men. I’ve been met with a combination of pity, loathing, mockery and revulsion by people within this group. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t let homophobia push me into transitioning - only for all correspondence to abruptly drop when I mention Im marrying another man. I’ve been told my old body was beautiful - only for stunned silence when I agree. I was beautiful - I was curvy, I was a dancer and had a body to match - but I wasn’t Me. When their usual arguments against me fail - I’m met with hate. Im called anti-woman, traitor, homophobic. I even have some such comments saved on my blog. I have yet to meet a Terf who was pro-trans-man. Rowling claims that had she had the ability, as a confused teen, she may have sought to transition. I hate to tell her but she did have the ability and trans people didn’t pop into existence in the twenty-first century. I’m actually looking to do my dissertation topic in my final year on lgbt presentation throughout history - and in my overeager way I’ve already started researching. James Barry has been becoming a common name for years - a transgender surgeon who died in 1865. If Barry was able to at least socially transition from 1790 to 1860, I am fairly sure Rowling could have in 1980 - over a century later. Rowling also claims that groups of friends in schools all suddenly identify as trans at the same time. Speaking from my school experience - the queer kids group together. We seek out others like us, and we take strength from each others bravery to come out - often around the same time. We almost get a rush of resolve when one of our group musters the courage and strength, and some of us use that rush to bite the bullet ourselves. Its one of the beautiful ways the lgbt community is here for one another - and the influx of people identifying as trans is partially a factor of more people knowing the name of their feelings. Survivor bias will ignore the trans people through history without the knowledge or means to transition - and will claim they were never trans at all. Her initial statements about charities worry me in particular. As I said last time - we know sex is real, we just dont really like to be defined by it. She is worried that we’re going to “rebrand medicine” and ignores that medications for years have had warnings in their leaflets about “If you are or become pregnant” regardless of if the person receiving it has a dick or a vagina. We dont advocate for ignoring the differences in how people respond to heart attacks - and I for one would like research to be done on how hormones effect that. I dont actually know if I would respond more like a cis gender woman or a cis gender man if I were to have a heart attack or a stroke. But where possible we do want to change the language around some of these things. I have had a double mastectomy, but some Cis-men have these as well. This is not a gendered term. Why should a period be called anything else? Why call it a “womens problem.” I and Im sure many other trans people, support the research into how different medical and mental issues affect different sexes. I just think that should be extended further - and we know it should, as some medical issues affect people of different ethnicities in different ways and we don’t know how. I am truly sorry that Rowling has experienced abuse and assault of any nature. I am truly sorry that she has felt unsafe. But her feelings do not invalidate others experiences. Of the trans people I know, a saddening number have been assaulted, have been abused and in particular have experienced these things domestically. There is much work to be done on this in the UK. There are nearly no mens shelters for sufferers of violence to my knowledge. I, a trans man who have experienced some of these things in my teen years, would Not want to be around cisgender women even if I could be. A cis woman was responsible for much of the pain I personally suffered - and in fact one of the acts of violence she carried out against me was directly after I came out as trans to her. Trans women, even if they could go to male shelters, should not have to be surrounded by a group that put them in danger - in a place that is detrimental to them physically and mentally and is frankly degrading. The belief that allowing trans women into shelters for those escaping abuse is dangerous is sad. To be so afraid is deserving of pity. To let fear blind you to the suffering of others - to think its better that a trans woman face homelessness or a return to an abusive household because you personally would sleep better at night is the kind of passive evil we should be aware of in this day and age. It comes from choosing to see the word “trans” before “person.” Its from choosing to see a persons genitals before their humanity. Trans people are not dangerous - and cause no greater risk than any other demographic. Her claims that she can empathise with this fear are empty. A gender recognition certificate is not a ticket into womens bathrooms. Funnily enough you dont actually require a piece of paper to go almost anywhere. I do not have a gender recognition certificate and use male bathrooms, can enter male spaces as I please. All a gender recognition certificate does is change the letter on your birth certificate. It doesn’t even affect other forms of identification - my passport, my student id, my drivers license all already say male. I am not sure why so many people have chosen this as their hill to die on because its the least relevant thing to them on the planet. How often have any of you seen another persons birth certificate? Rowling says she and other ‘gender critical’ (a terf dogwhistle) people are concerned for trans youth. Well… she can take her condescending concern and direct it to matters that are relevant to her. Trans people want to be left alone. Its a simple request, and yet people endlessly seem to trip over the dirt level bar.

#transgender #jk rowling #terf #transphobia #lgbt #uk politics #I'm prob gonna get shit for this arent I

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gevejsbvdj · 3 years

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Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex.

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that.

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE.

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it.

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley?

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me.

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile.

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn.

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck.

Jesus. Okay, moving on.

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t.

Mel couldn’t provide proof either.

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant.

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot.

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to.

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom.

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true.

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that.

Listen to me.

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD.

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture.

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts.

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty?

...I’m gonna let you answer that.

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it...

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out.

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE.

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

black lives matter resources

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tandytoaster · 5 years

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I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.

So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”.

At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing.

The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.

And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying.

So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into.

I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready.

Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me.

I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit.

When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.

and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.

Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag.

twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic.

we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people.

so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference

I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.

#noop nooping #YA LIVE YA LEARN YA GET MAD.

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galaxygalthemess · 3 years

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HOLY COW I didnt realize how bad this was feeling in my head but wow so many tw and cw to tag, but incase it slips thru: Im discussing mental health, unaliving oneswlf, hurting oneself, homophobia, family issues and just-

if you have common triggers, I would not recommend readding this. anf sorry no cut, idk how and im on mobile

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at a wedding and a cousin of mine is going thru similar mental health issues. shes not as bad yet, and hopefully never will be, but at one point I wanted to harm myself. my mom thinks it wasnt as serious as it was cause I wanted to meed a celebrity I love who was coming the next week, so clearly I didn't need to be hospitalized.

she forgot that the conversation was about her getting his autograph for me if I was admitted. we were told it might take a bit as I wasnt as immediate of a danger, so I couldve had to wait. also I never said I was suicidal again. I said I wanted to hurt myself. I can hurt myself badly and not leave a trace, ik ive done it. and I was clinging onto meeting this guy to an extent, because literally nothing else was holding me. It was the only thing giving me joy at that moment and i knew if i completely lost it I was going to fall further

she also keeps saying it was my therapists idea. no. I brought it up to her in a session sobbing because I wanted everything to stop, but I couldn't voice it to her, so I asked her to tell my parents. Gee I wonder why I was worried when even my therapist calling wasnt enough to convince her it was bad.

so now idk if i can correct her or not. especially because i wanna make sure my cousins mom doesnt do that to her. I wont get into specifics, but she has other factors I don't that could lead to a worse outcome quicker.

Now im silently crying in the bathroom getting ready for my cousins wedding with family who ignore any mental illness or lgbt+ in the family, cause apparently theyre equal. My cousin is an addict refusing help and leaving his kids with their neglectful mother so we can't help, and his sister is a lesbian, and my aunt feels like those are fuckin equal. I mean, ffs my grandma and her siblings all have at least one lgbt+ child or grandchild. and we are all here pretending we like eachother, while one aunt complains about her 'grandaughter' being distant, because hes her grandson and we know she homophobic. or when talking about mental health, its like its a dirty secret even though a good chunk of my cousin and I'd issues are fuckin hereditary.

I'm just.... so tired, but its the only family i have left after my sperm donors cut me off. Its hard being one of the most open on sexuality and mental illness, yet still people don't know.

and Ive also been thinking about telling my parents about questioning my gender, but idk howd they take it. Years ago I asked my mom what shed do if I cam out as trans, and while she said shed be supportive she 'doesnt think i am.' I use they/them commonly, and fae/faer is one I'm trying out, but I cant even tell her I'm questioning without worry, fuck saying I have neo pronouns.

I'm rambling but I'm so tired. I should talk to people more

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end of tw and cw

#tw mental breakdown #tw mental hospital #tw mental disorders #tw substance abuse #tw homophobia #tw unalive #tw suicide #tw self harm #trigger warning #cw: swearing #tw swearing #cw suicidal thoughts #cw self harm #tw suicidal thoughts #so many tw #i need a hug #lmk if i need to tag anything else

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httpwinston · 6 years

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"WE ARE NOT AFRAID"(It Fanfic)

if you haven't read the first one here is the link Chapter 1.

Chapter 3

Chapter two-"Well Andrew i bet you wish he was sucking your dick"

*warning homophobia ,and racism *

Beverly woke up on the couch she rubbed her eyes as she removed her covers off of her she smelled breakfast so she went into the kitchen to see what they were having but she saw billy. “h-hey bev I di-didn't know you were a-awake?” "are you cooking for me bill?" " YES...BUT ITS O.ONLY B..BECAUSE M.MY MOM ISNT H.HERE"(sorry for caps)

"so where is your parents?"

"they went to a h..hotel my m..mom said my d..dad was to t.tired to d.drive back home"

"oh...so when are they coming back?"

"w.well it m.might be this a.afternoon.. you k.know how l..long my d.dad sleeps”billy handed beverly her plate of eggs and bacon and they ate.

eddie woke up with his eyes hurting from crying he went into his bathroom oh shit richie forgot his glasses that meant he is probably blind for the rest of the day great but eddie couldnt do that. so he called ritchie. "hey richie you left your glasses" "oh thanks eds ill be over in a minute" then richie hung up and was knocking on eddies front door. but eddie was there hes suppose to be mad at ritchie but he couldnt. he handed ritchie his glasses and slammed the door he couldnt cave into richie he couldnt hurt himself. richie was wondering how he could apoligize to his bestfriend but he knew eddie was mad at him so he got off eddies porch while eddie was in his room crying over the guy who thought liked him back and he had to get ready for a school he didnt want to go to. richie got into his truck that he built and drove to school and he saw from one of his mirrors eddie going into his car that his mom got him for his sixteen birthday. and he saw that the car wouldnt start up eddie walk out of his car and started hitting it. " hey eds need a ride!" "stop calling me that!" as he hopped into the car. "yeah thats never going to happen and can we stop this ignoring thing" " yeah whatever rich whatever makes you happy" he started to drive "what does that mean eds?" "it means you only care about your happiness and no one else's" eddie said with a attuide and puts his seatbelt on. "really i care about my hapiness i just helped you eds oh but i care for myself" richie turned on the radio and it was sailent and ritchie hated silent more then anything. "eds what is going on with you? i dont get it i mean ever since i dated my girlfriend i feel we fell apart" "well richie it doesnt take a genius to figure it out" and they were at the school and eddie got out of the truck and walked into the school. he heard what people said about him hes gay gosh no one likes a gay who is just trying to make someone gay i bet him and ritchie did it then he heard one behind him "hey faggot did you get some toizer dick" eddie just ignored them because hes not a violent person then he heard someone that hes glad he heard. "well andrew i bet you wish he was sucking your dick" mike said. "oh shut up nigger" "dont call him that!" eddie said "what you say dick sucker? did you say toizer's dick" then he saw god himself the guy he fell so in love with ritchie toizer just punch andrew in the face and started to punch him over and over agian. "richie fucking stop!!! what are you doing?" his girlfriend yelled and eddie really wanted to put her face into a toilet. "well this bastard just called eds a dick sucker maybe he likes dick its not a fucking bad thing and if you dont like eds then you dont like me!! and guess what sunshine i caught you cheating" is this a dream? the rest of the losers showed up. and then richies ex-girlfriend slapped him in the face. and eddie was about to beat the shit out of her before beverly stopped him "no she doesnt hit him bev move fucking move!" "no eddie i cant because your a guy and shes a girl" "well im basically am a girl" "well your not eddie" "can i just rip her hair out" "noo eddie" then eddie heard what richie said that made him smile. "it didnt hurt bitch" and his ex-girlfriend was aparently having a affair with andrew behind richies back but whatever eddie thought. ritchie grabbed eddies arm and drug him out of the school "we have to go to class rich" "i know eds but i wanted to say i figured out this morning that i like you eds when i saw her with andrew it didnt make me mad but when andrew was bullying you it made me mad and then stanley told me how you feel about me and i cant be i never saw that eds im so sorry.." eddie kissed richie and you have to guess who saw you guessed it.. it was molly richies ex-girlfriend she took a picture of it on her old camrea. richie and eddie didnt know they were to busy kissing to notice.

#it fanfiction #it #richie tozier #eddie #stanley uris #bill denbrough #ben hanson #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #reddie #bebilly #stanleyxmike

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jonghyyn · 7 years

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iyo when you write non-straight characters should you specify their sexuality/gender? I mean I'm personally a very 'not into labels at all' person for my own sexuality but support ppl who do find comfort in labels. but when I write I also tend to go toward the 'he just loves who he loves !!!' that sounded stupid but idk how to explain it.. so... like I was wondering why you feel strongly about explicitly stating someone's queerness instead of it being implied (at least u come off as that sorta)

i do definitely feel like that so!! i happen to have a lot of feelings about this so get ready for a Long Ramble. this is a precaution before ive even started typing i just know im gonna write a lot

i think before we start saying anything, we’ve got to acknowledge the difference between people who say that they dont like labels, and writing characters who Don’t Like Labels™. pointing out the problems of the latter is not a condemnation of the former. if someone rly doesnt feel like labeling their sexuality or gender, thats totally alright. the difference between these two is the person is a nuanced, multifaceted human being who may have lots of personal reasons for feeling that way, while the second is a fictional character that is Created and informed by cultural views of the creator. a person is not “created” by one single author and characters arent like…real living agents that have their Own Free Will, they are what their creators make of them. anyway i just feel like this is a rly important distinction that gets lost often!! i’m also more willing to look favorably on someone who self describes that way writing characters based on their own experiences, bc this perspective is inherently different from a straight person writing these sorts of characters. but moving on.

whats also important to understand, beyond writing characters, is how being openly not straight is shunned. queer people are not allowed to Exist as openly queer and they have not been allowed historically. even these days among people who consider themselves progressive, you’ll often hear that “its alright if someone is gay but do they have to shove it in my face all the time.” this attitude isnt somehow formed in vacuum, but created in a society that treats been openly queer as a taboo. we aren’t allowed to be open about our sexualities the way straight people are. we can’t acknowledge that we’re queer lest someone tells us to Stop Shoving It In Their Face (not missing the irony as we’re surrounded by 400 billboards of hetero couples everywhere). i dont wan’t to delve into other aspects of discrimination and get too off track here, i just want to focus on how being Openly queer is treated as a taboo, particularly among people who still want to call themselves ‘accepting.’ the only way society allows queer people to exist is if they never remind anyone, Ever that they are not straight.

this is Integral to understanding why the i Don’t Like Labels characters are so frustrating. the unwillingness to Explicitly talk about queer people carries over quite handily to media. the same faux progressive people that demand queer people never talk about being queer bc its Too Much Information, will praise queer coded characters that hint at their sexuality but never confirm it. the reason these characters are written is not to genuinely explore why someone might feel uncomfortable with applying labels to themselves, but to appease people who will accept queerness as long as they never have to acknowledge it. this way, u can court queer people interested in representation And people who might like the story but will be uncomfortable with explicit queerness. its an attempt for writers to cash in on peoples desires for interesting queer characters without ever actually fully committing to representing them. you dont get to claim to support queer people if ur also out there providing comfort for peoples homophobia. you cant have a foot in both doors.

describing queer experiences without calling them queer means that youre okay with this story as long as u dont acknowledge it as something Explicitly not straight and like…why?? why is it suddenly not okay when u take that bundle of experiences and use the word that theyre defining?? theres Weight behind using words like bi, gay, lesbian and if u reject them are u Really okay with lgbtq people? or are you okay with them Despite the fact that theyre lgbtq and not because you take into account theyre lgbtq. acceptance is not tolerating people Despite something, its acknowledging it and validating it as an okay thing to be. especially when it is something that historically Not been validated as okay. dismantling structural systems of queerphobia does not go about by ignoring queerphobia…shit this doesnt just fade away by chance, it takes active work. and part of this active work is Acknowledging Peoples Queerness As Something that is okay Out In The Open. the You in this isnt directed at you anon, just people who have these sentiments.

throwing vague statements like ‘they just love who they love’ Also creates this level of ambiguity. you might say “well why do u need the certainty when ur describing what is at the very least, something obviously very not straight” and to that i say youd be fucking surprised at how goddamn hard straight people will try to erase the queerness out of a character. like i’m going to use a game called life is strange as a example. i’ll give some background: in the game, the main character max can romance both chloe and warren. note that max is not one of those blank state wholly customisable bioware-esque player characters, she has a personality outside of the choices u make. anyway, the conclusion that is Logically drawn from this is that she is most likely bisexual. or at the very least in some way, not straight. and Yet i have seen discussions that say “she doesnt have a set sexuality it just depends on the playthrough so shes not rly a Queer Character.” even more than that, ive seen people that saw “well even in the chloe one shes not necessarily gay or bi maybe shes just Making an Exception for chloe bc their relationship transcends sexuality” and like ??? Why??? why cant she just be bi?? even when given a queer romance, why do u try and interpret it in a way that sets her up as straight?? ive seen people say “its not a romance its just something that Transcends Words” as if this is… mutually exclusive from being a romance. like… Why doesnt this happen when hetero relationships are depicted?? ive literally never seen someone say “u know, maybe hes not attracted to women and just Making an Exception so hes not straight” why dont u see people try to erase the romance aspect out of hetero romances by claiming their relationship is “Beyond Words.” this treatment is 1000% only ever afforded to queer characters. this attempt to play off romance as not rly romantic is only done to queer characters, even if its done subconsciously. people will Refuse to accept a character is queer as fuck if you dodge around it, because heteronormativity is so ingrained in every interaction that even obviously queer characters get filtered through this lens. the problem with this isnt necessarily apparent until u look at it within historical context, where queer people are repeatedly not allowed to be openly queer. these arent isolated incidents, but manifestations of the idea that queer people shouldnt ever be open about their sexuality. youve got to tackle the discomfort that people have with words like gay/lesbian/bi/etc

i think this particular character trope wouldnt bother me so much if it wasnt like… the only narrative ever present. time and time again, i have to see characters proclaim that they dont like labels while never once even hearing people breathe the word bisexual. if it existed alongside characters who were explicitly queer it would be less frustrating But its literally one of the few ways (semi positive attempts at least) queer characters are ever portrayed. this is particularly true for bisexual characters lmao like… yes…theres people who dont like labels…but theres also millions of bi people that just wanna see a fucking bi character Talk about being bi and all we ever get is a vague “i dont like labels” (that is often never explored further than that and treated as a throwaway line anyway). is creating characters who say that a genuine attempt to characterize someones struggles with labels or is it just a way to avoid saying the word Bisexual.

same with queer romance in media. its only ever Okay if u just hint at it- see dumbledore being gay. see- the korrasami thing (though i dont fault the writers for this bc they pushed hard for what they got, its issues with the network). why are queer people relegated to drawn out stares that May imply something while straight characters are allowed to get into explicit relationships. when u create ambiguous characters that May be interpreted as straight (even if youve really gotta stretch) ur prefer to maintain the negative “neutral” of the heteronormative status quo and allow homophobes to live with their views unchallenged more than u care about addressing queerness in characters.

its not a coincidence that we dont do this to straight romance or straight characters. this is particularly important for queer kids!! its good to see queer characters out there being openly queer. while me and u can often pick up on queer themes and narratives, a 8 year old is not going to get that. especially when theyve been conditioned to see straight romance as the only feasible choice. they wont realize the character youre writing is gay or bi or whatever Because they havent been exposed to the connotations we associate w certain phrases. its so important for queer kids to see queer characters Owning that theyre queer. its especially importantly to normalize words like gay or bi or pan. being gay is often Extremely hypersexualized (which is why so many people will tell u they dont care what u do in the bedroom bc they can only picture queerness is a sexual context) so when u Dont treat these words as things only adults can say, u help get rid of the stigma surrounding them. u help remove the idea that being queer is inappropriate for kids to hear about and that the only possible aspect to being queer is sexual.

anyway this has been Quite the Ramble but the point is that yes, we need to write more characters who are absolutely explicit about their sexuality and move away from the expectation that queer people need to create euphemisms to comfort homophobes desires to never hear about queerness.

#LONG POST #VERY LONG POST #man...u rly got me going #theres a lot of reasons why labels are important in the first place but man this is truly long enough as this is #i hope i didnt get too rambly and my point still stands i try to stop myself from going off on tangents #anon #ask

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narcisbolgor-blog · 6 years

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Dad Who Found His Lesbian Daughter Dead Tells Roy Moore: Pray For Forgiveness

The morning after Roy Moores loss, Nathan Mathis was in the mood to celebrate, though quietly with the memory of his beloved lesbian daughter Patti at the forefront of his mind.

Both of Mathis' children have died (he also had a son, Joey), and he speaks with a gravelly, straightforward openness about loving and losing both of them.

Im very, very happy we didnt get Roy Moore, Mathis told The Daily Beast by phone of Doug Jones stunning victory over Moore in the Alabama Senate race. I sure am. Im very happy about that. It will be so much better for our country that Roy Moore is not up there. It will be so much better. We would have had a mess if wed had Roy Moore in the United States Senate. Youd never know which wall he would have come off the next day.

Footage of Mathis, 74, speaking while holding a deeply personal protest sign outside an event Moore spoke at on Dec. 11, went viral.

youtube

The sign read: Judge Roy Moore called my daughter Patti Sue Mathis a pervert because she was gay. A 32-year-old Roy Moore dated teenage girls aged 14 to 17. So that makes him a pervert of the worse kind.

Moores virulent homophobia has been long-held and well-known. On the day of the election his spokesman told CNN that he probably believed that homosexuality should be illegal.

Moore also concurred with an opinion, as Alabama Supreme Courts Chief Justice in 2002, that homosexual behavior was a crime against nature, an inherent evil, and an act so heinous that it defies ones ability to describe it. (This was in a case where he sought to deny a lesbian custody of her children.) He denounced the SCOTUS ruling for same-sex marriage in 2015 as an immoral, unconstitutional and tyrannical opinion and encouraged officials in Alabama to ignore it.

Moore also blamed the LGBT community for the multiple sexual-misconduct allegations against him.

Mathis told The Daily Beast that Patti had committed suicide in 1995, at age 23, in the mobile home she lived in near the family home in Wicksburg, Alabama, where Nathan and his wife Sue still reside. Mathis found her body. She had shot herself.

Even though my daughter was dead, when Roy Moore took the stance he did against gay people calling them perverts and then abominations, and even went as far as saying its a crime to be gay... I dont know, I just couldnt sit there any more. I just had to say something, said Mathis.

Even though my daughter is deceased I still dont like nobody saying negative things about her because my daughter was a good person. My daughter: She was gay but she was no damn pervert.

Theres no way they were going to get a fair shake with Roy Moore, so thank god Roy Moore is not going to be going to Washington.

What would Mathis say to Roy Moore today?

Mathis paused, then said with some force: Look Roy, if you want forgiveness for what youve done you better tell the truth to God. You better get down on your knees, you better pray to your God to say Please forgive me. I know God, you know what I did. I cant lie to you because you know what I did, and Im sorry for what I did and Im going to change and Im not never going to let this happen again.

And he needs to quit lying about it, that's what he needs to do.

Mathis said he couldnt stand by to see Moores homophobia receive the sanction of senatorial office.

I already feel bad about the way I acted towards Patti when I found it [her sexuality] out, but it just really made me hurt all over. Here we were fixing to send someone [like Moore] to Washington, D.C.

Gay people would not have had a chance on any bill with him up there as a United States senator. Theres no way they were going to get a fair shake with Roy Moore, so thank god Roy Moore is not going to be going to Washington.

Mathis was modest when asked about his sudden stardom.

It wasnt about me. I had a lot of favorable and some that wasnt so favorable about what I did. It was about Patti being gay and the other gay folks who are still citizens of the United States. Gay people have rights just as people who are not gay. The Constitution (in fact, its the Declaration of Independence) says all men are created equal, endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Had Moore been elected, said Mathis, he would have held his hand up and sworn to uphold the Constitution. It would have been a lie. He wouldnt have done it. He wouldn't have upheld the Constitution, that gay folks have the same rights as everybody else. Thats why I did what I did.

Patti didnt tell her father that she was gay, he said. A friend of hers came to their home to tell him.

When I confronted her with it she admitted it, Mathis told The Daily Beast. I said bad things to her, because I had been to church all my life, and sat there many times and heard preachers preach against gay folks from the pulpit. She even heard it. She went to church from when she was a small child right on up.

Its just something I couldnt believe. I sat there all those years and not known my daughter was gay and when I found out I said mean things to her. Its because of the way I had been taught. I even went so far I told Patti that Id rather my child was dead rather than have a gay child. I regret I said that very much but I did say that.

I told Patti that Id rather my child was dead rather than have a gay child. I regret I said that very much but I did say that.

At the time Patti was finishing her senior year at high school. I asked Mathis how she responded to what he said to her.

It hurt her real bad, he said. When I came back home that day from work, she had moved out of the house and moved over to a friend of hers house. She stayed there about 3 months.

Then one day, her father said, Patti had come to him and said, Daddy, I dont want to be gay any more. Would you help me get some help?

Mathis said: She was crying. I said, I sure will, and this shows how nave I was about it, I called up the UAB Hospital in Birmingham Alabama, and made an appointment, and took Patti up there.

The doctors, said Mathis, did all kinds of tests on her that day, and finally at about 3:30 in the afternoon a doctor called both father and daughter into his office and said, recalled Mathis, Young lady, there is not a thing we can do you. You cant help the way you are.

Mathis thought, Man, this doctor must be crazy, he doesnt know what hes talking about, but the pair saw other doctors and psychiatrists and they all told Patti, said her father, You cant help the way you are. Youre who you are. Theres nothing we can do about it.

That just opened my eyes a little bit, said Mathis. Instead of her being in the wrong, I was the one in the wrong.

Mathis does not think Patti intended to kill herself. She had stopped at a local gas station and charged the bill to his account, he said. She had told the attendant she was heading to Panama City, but first she had to cut some grass.

When I found her, she had the clothes on that she would cut the grass in, recalled Mathis. She would wear earphones when she rode the lawn mower.

A neighbor told Mathis they had seen her talking to another young woman in the yard for a couple of hours. Mathis was contacted by Pattis niece to say she had knocked on Pattis mobile home door and heard music, but Patti had not responded.

Mathis went to the mobile home, opened the door and found his daughter dead. At the time of her death she had been attending nursing school for a year.

The mobile home had a little bar in the kitchen, Mathis said. It appeared to me she had put a little pillow there on the end of the bar. I guess she thought she was going to shoot herself and lay her head down and go to sleep. Of course, when she shot herself her body recoiled and she ended up halfway across the room. She shot herself in the neck and the bullet clipped the main artery, and so once she pulled the trigger it was all over.

Her father called 911.

Do I sit and watch Roy Moore keep lambasting gay folks, or do I try and do something about it? Somebody needed to do it, and so I did it.

I felt terrible. I still do feel terrible about it, Mathis told The Daily Beast. I felt like I had failed my daughter. But once that happened I couldnt change anything. I had no more control over it any more. I just had to live with it. And so do I sit and watch Roy Moore keep lambasting gay folks, or do I try and do something about it? Somebody needed to do it, and so I did it.

Since Pattis death, Mathis said he had built a 70-acre lake, situated between Wicksburg and Slocomb, dedicated to her. It is named Lake Patti Sue. People come to fish there, and enjoy themselves, he said.

It was a way for me to keep Pattis memory alive. Thats what I was trying to do. Its real beautiful. Were still working on it, and trying to make it even better.

Mathis is certainly all too acquainted with tragedy. He said he isnt good with ages or datesI try not to remember datesbut that his son Joey had died 4 or 5 years after his daughter, aged around 37.

Some time after Pattis death, Mathis said, Joey had tried crystal meth, which messed him up. Then Joey took two Oxycontin tablets, and it had paralyzed him. He needed to roll over and throw up his vomit, but couldnt. So he drowned in his own vomit.

He was a real nice, handsome young man, married with two children, Mathis said, and what made him try crystal meth I dont know but once he did it was out of his control from then on. That drug had control over him.

Mathis said he was a peanut farmer, growing cotton, corn, and running cattle. He has been trying to retire, and his grandson has been farming the property for the last 3 years. He also has a farming supplies business, Mathis Farm Service, and his nephew owns the lease of a restaurant he owns, Nates Oyster Bar, in Slocomb. Sue runs Wicksburgs senior citizens center.

Shes not real favorable of it, Mathis told The Daily Beast of his fame-garnering activism. She just grieves in her own way. Everybody grieves differently. I had to do what I did, and I hope she forgives me and not holds it against me. But if it was left for her she would never mention anything about Patti dying. She would just keep it to herself. Thats the way she would deal with it.

Mathis laughed. He recalled that Patti had been nicknamed Peppermint Patti, and that she still retained the scoring record at Wicksburgs High School for girls basketball; he said that she had also got a scholarship at Enterprise State Junior College (now known as Enterprise State Community College) in softball. She was the captain of the team, and organized all the teams events and parties. Everybody liked her, the girls and boys, said Mathis.

Before Patti died, she knew her father supported her, Mathis said.

When she died she knew that I loved her, Mathis said. We had made our peace about it. I had told her I was sorry. I believe she had forgiven me for my actions. I really honestly believe that.

Dont do like I did. You need to hug their neck and say, Look you are who you are and I love you regardless.

Mathis said he would continue with LGBT activism, if required.

I will do anything I can do to help. All people need to realize that what happened to my child it could be your child next or your grandchild. Dont do like I did. You need to hug their neck and say, Look, you are who you are and I love you regardless.

And we need to realize that gay folks have rights just like people who are not gay, and we need to quit letting politicians lambast gay folks every time they have an election, trying to get votes. Thats all it is. Most of it is hypocritical by politicians, anyway.

I believe had Patti still been alive, she would have been out there holding up that sign herself.

What would Patti have said to Mathis about his activism?

I believe Patti would have appreciated what I did, her father said. After she died, he found among her possession a scrapbook containing articles about LGBT events and LGBT rights. I believe had Patti still been alive, she would have been out there holding up that sign herself.

Mathis said, I dont know what fighting I can do but Ill be a voice if someone wants me to tell my story. Ill be glad to do that. Any way I can help people who are not being treated according to the Constitution, Ill certainly try to do it.

What would Mathis say to Patti if he could? He paused again, and then his voice cracked. Thats hard. Patti, its good to see you, and I love you so much and I missed you so much, and I love you, and I want you to know it. I missed you like crazy.

I know shed be proud of what Ive done, Mathis added quietly.

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=> *********************************************** Originally Published Here: Dad Who Found His Lesbian Daughter Dead Tells Roy Moore: Pray For Forgiveness ************************************ =>

Dad Who Found His Lesbian Daughter Dead Tells Roy Moore: Pray For Forgiveness was originally posted by 11 VA Viral News

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elliethesuperfruitlover · 3 years

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*ahem*

so am i just gonna have to get specific representation MY DAMN SELF. i mean COME ON. im using my brain to finally work and think about the future and all that. and i feel like i’m being picky but im tired of busted up fucking plot holes and the same old shit every time. only the light skinned women or girls who’re considered conventionally attractive. and they’re either the “right size” or theyre dark skinned (the only one in the show) and have a fucking attitude. when the hell am i going to STOP being viewed as a threat, or a stereotype, and be seen as a fucking person???? with thoughts and feelings and input that deserves to be heard. ESPECIALLY IN THE MEDIA. i know black folks dont get much shit as is, and if we get something half decent, we’re shit all over, or killed, or it’s snatched. and if it isn’t taken from us, we treasure it, waiting for the next good thing to happen, billions of hardships throwing themselves at us. and specifically, as a black queer neurodivergent gal, there’s no fucking space for me. im not going to be seen, nor represented how i wish to be. i’m either a threat, nothing whatsoever, or the life, the being, and the moment until it’s inconvenient for white people to deal with. stealing things people have been ridiculed and teased for, and suddenly it’s all the fucking rage. then after it’s gone, i’m pushed to the curb again, fucking trampled by the same people who said i was at least partially equal to them.

i cant find even a half decent place that i see myself where it’s not sprinkled, or dare i say, doused in anti-blackness and misogynoir. i mean, but it’s only a show, right? it’s not that big of a deal, shows can’t represent a group of people, or person as to where it impacts them, right?

then tell me why the princess and the frog is my favorite disney movie.....

tell me why hidden figures almost never goes unwatched whenever i see it.

tell me why i have been talking NON-STOP about invincible because a show has just a single black girl who speaks her mind, and is a BADASS.......but amber’s ripped to shreds isn’t she. she “was stupid from not telling mark her mind” and “she led him on” and “i hate amber more than omni-man” and “amber is the real villain” (which is laced with anti-blackness)

it’s because REPRESENTATION MATTERS, fuckass. i wouldnt binge watch things that i fucking hate. if i see myself in something, and it’s authentic, and it’s real, im holding onto it like my fucking life depends on it. oh wait? it does.

cant wear this or that. “she must think she’s grown” NOPE. but i sure as hell can legally work, get vaccinated, and have a learner’s permit. isn’t that “the life” isn’t that what i’m supposed to do? join the society that was broken to begin with until i crumble, lose my job, and find myself in the same place.

or no, i’m still just a child apparently. shouldn’t be speaking for myself, can’t make my own decisions. i “need to be taken down a peg”

and here come the stereotypes again. “angry black girl” “in someone’s face”

and of fucking course when i bring up the fact that something is racist then i need to “lower my voice” and “calm down” and am taken outside the door and told “this happens, just ignore it”

from the same motherfucker who doesn’t think that white privilege exists, calls m a feminist “derogatory” when i bring up the fact that something is sexist, and literally makes the joke “monkeys climb trees” when we were celebrating black history month, and one of the classroom doors was decorated with a tree. but apparently i need to “chill out” and let the cishet white person get their fucking way like they all have for the past hundreds of years.

that shit sucks. and it stings. and it stays tearing me apart at one in the fucking morning.

also (we’re not done, strap in)

if i see one more fucking person excuse homophobia with the bible, im fucking snapping and finding a girlfriend and posting the picture FRONT AND CENTER of my fucking instagram. or better yet i’ll finally find a pair of fishnets and do what the fuck i want without guzzling down the dredges of my personal disapproval for once. it sounds quite tempting to be honest at this point.

so, story time lovelies.

yesterday (well, er, two days ago, it was friday afternoon) one of my dearest (/j) classmates decided to post a story which held a screenshot of the bible where it mentioned that “a man shall not sleep with another man like he does with his wife” okay and the bible changes like night and day. there’s so many fucked up stories in the bible that justify this, that, and the other. and like?? you expect me to want to BELIEVE that shit. absolutely not. just say you’re a homophobe and LEAVE MY QUEER ASS ALONE. jesus fucking christ.

this isn’t the first time she’s posted something i found quite offensive, and frankly, rage inducing. it was the “there’s only two genders” and taking off 3 years of my life with the “man=penis, woman=vagina” BULLSHIT which is wrong on multiple accounts. intersex people exist and ARE REAL. and gender isn’t tied to genitalia. and it’s also not binary. and clothes and colors dont have GENDERS. they’re fabric and things we fucking see, not an end all be all to the type of person someone is, how they think, talk, act, and what fucking hangs between their legs. job prospects. none of that. another video from a few months back, still on the gender thing in which this cishet man stated (who probably has fucking guns laying on the mantle in front of the fireplace, right below the decapitated dear) that “kids are too young to think about this” little kids don’t give TWO SHITS about gender, they just see people as people, and they love their friends. their biggest worries are what’s for dinner, or who’s gonna play on what on the playground. if we teach them that OTHER TRANS KIDS EXIST. and that they deserve to be treated the same, we won’t have issues. at all. and if they end up being confused, let them ask questions, and answer them accordingly. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.

so...no. so she’s blocked (permanently) and i honestly don’t give a fuck at this point. i have no tolerance for bigotry in my life, or brain, and i have had, im sure, a LIFETIME full of toxic people who think shitty things about me and i just??? bitch? AM I PRESSED ABOUT IT? no. HAS IT CAUSED ME SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND PANIC ATTACKS? of course, i have trauma and severe anxiety, what else did you expect?

yeah um....i think im done. this has just been RIPPING me to shreds for the past few minutes. had to get it out.

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

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Why do all the americans who come to japan think everything americans do is stupid and romantisize the wag japanese do it??

Horse laugh??? This texan girl really just agreed and called her laugh stupid looking because some fucking japanese girl who values looking docile over letting herself laugh wrote an article making fun of americans laughing

Ugh

How about this. Why do japanese girls cling to their boyfriends like their a dog whos gonna run into traffic if they let go?! If your boys gonna cheat on you, clenching him and glaring at every girl around you isnt gonna stop him.

Why are japanese ok with their school systems not teaching them their full history or about the world. America used to do that and we decided as a population that wed like to know stuff and have been fighting to get more information into our textbooks for decades. Japanese are happy to be brainwashed

Why dont japanese speak their mind and then get upset when they get stressed out over the people around them not being mind readers

Why do japanese bosses give their employees so much work and then wonder why there stressed

Why dont japanese use all the futuristic technology they have. Why is cash still a fucking thing here

Why havent they put in functional road systems instead of keeping it a free for all until an accudent happens

Why dont japanese have actual news systems. Why didnt anyone know what was happening with the typhoon till a day in advance and then only through emergency alerts. In the states we know about hurricans for weeks in advance and the authorities tell high risk places to evacuate days in advance

Why do japanese prefer looking busy over actually getting their work done in advance? Why do they like rushing around and throwing stuff together at the last minute?

Do people in this country actually wanna talk to people or do they just wanna be talked TO?! Walk around any crowded area and you can find groups looking around like they desperately want to be talked to. Ive watched people talk to these people and then the ones whod been onlooking acting so happy - only to cut the conversation short and run away to wait for someone else to talk to them. Or ive watched/experienced them come do the talking and still fucking run away at the end or at least ghost. And ive read all they do is ghost. So what the fuck?

On that note why do japanese push and carry personal conversations along even when they dont wanna talk. Going off that last one ive gotten tired of being ghosted by freaking girls who approach me and have stopped trying. But theyll still try so damn hard to befriend you. Why? And my coworker at school. Try so hard to make you like them - but once you do they never wanna speak again. WHY?!? I had a girl pull me around a club once talking my ear off, she followed me on instagram but never even let me follow her back

Why do japanese men run people down?? And why do they glare at people walking on the wrong side WHILE WALKING ON THE WRONG SIDE?!? Old people too. Why old people always on the wrong damn side - no so sure they but they turn their entire body to watch you go by just to make sure you know theyre watching you.

Like whatever. Asshole old people. Theyre the same globally i think.

But fuck these middle aged japanese men using all the strength in their body to plow people down as they walk. And push througj crowds. Oh was that your foot? Dont care. Im more important.

I already complained about the damn face masks. No one uses them when theyte coughing and hacking all over a crowd - pretty sure theyre just for people to hide their face at this point.

Put. On. Deoderant. Idc how many articles say japanese dont have bad smelling bo - theyre wrong. They do just like every other human.

Um. I guess homophobia is still rampent here? I didnt think so with how all celebrities cross dress at some point in their career but i saw the harajuku ojiisan and walking he parted the overly crowded takeshita street like moses in the red sea. People acted like he was a plague. Not to mention the comments i heard while at school about boys in dresses in general.

I watched one of my teachers limp around for the past three weeks.... and another with a hurt back for a week... they both just have pain killers - meaning the first ones problem shouldnt be so bad that hes limping for 3 weeks+ and he shouldnt be in so much pain. Either the doctor missed something which they shouldnt?! They take xrays? You only get 4 days of medicine before having to return? So the doc should really see that its more serious????? Also. Why is he in pain before his painkiller wears off. Why is japanese medicine SO WEAK?? and why are they still taking guesses at problems when they force xrays for things as simple as a cough

K ive fallen prey to this one cause the clothes are just really cute... but but but lol how come the same clothes are sold in like every store - meaning everyones wearing a slightly different variation of the same clothes. At least young people. Talk about a fashion in fashion out city.

This one isnt at japan for japans sake but. America. Ameica why. Why did i grow up in school for 12 years being told that my school system not only sucks - but that it was easy and we were little bitches for complaining and being stressed out. Laughed at and taunted being told that japanese schools were so far ahead of us. So much smarter. They go to school 6 days a week! Those hardworking japanese!

At least in the school i worked in

1) they dont get hw. American teachers were always all “you need two hours of he a night” but like... 7 teachers said and beleived that

2) they dont have to pay attention. Teachers ignore them not doing work in class - in America that can gets you kicked out of clas

3) they can clown around and disrupt class. In america - to the principals office

4) they have SO MANY EVENTS. Theyre like never in class. We could count our events in america - they were far and few between snd our teachers raged about the missed time and made us learn the shit we missed at home on our own time.

5) they move through material slow. Its fine and all but damn america - making us feel stupid for years when we had new material introduced every week at least and have legit tests every other week

6) they get answer keys to their study books... imagine. Having. An answer. Key??? Before college?? Like🤯 no thats just for the teachers.

7) idk what they do in japanese class but my teacher told me our method of reading a book, analyzing it, and writing a paper for english - is their college level japanese. We start that in elementaryyy schooll - as book reports - in addition to our grammar studies.

8) they come to school on saturday to play sports and then go to some cram school their parent pays for which i cant imagine is too different from what they do at school.

Okok school is stressful and annoying everywhere. And i dont think id be so salty having watched that IFF my school was legit called stupid on a weekly basis while being compared to japanese schools

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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Dear White, Christian Trump Supporters: We Need To Talk

Plenty of pundits keep telling us progressives that we didnt listen to them in the heartland to you of the white working class, to you of conservative Christianity.

Actually, I grew up as one of you. Ive listened to you my whole life, but I dont think I know how to understand you at all.

I suppose now youd consider me part of the so-called liberal elite. Im a west coast university professor with a Ph.D. and almost 30 years of teaching experience. But Im the daughter of a Southern Baptist, working-class pipe fitter at a paper mill in a small, conservative town in northwest Georgia.

My parents did not go to college (my father finally earned a degree after hed retired from the paper mill). Only one of my four grandparents finished high school. I studied hard, got a scholarship, kept studying, kept working, and I moved into the white collar middle class.

My white conservative Christian upbringing had told me that was the American Dream to work hard and succeed. I did, and I feel youre holding it against me now that I no longer share your views. I think you must imagine the liberal elite as East Coast, Ivy League-educated, trust fund babies completely out of touch with how most people live.

Sure, some faculty members grew up with money. Some went to Ivy League schools. But a lot of us professors were you working class kids who did whatever it took to get a college education. Along the way, a lot of us developed progressive ideas, not out of our privilege, but out of our own experiences of discrimination, struggle, and oppression.

We read and argued and wrote and rewrote. We got peer-reviewed, over and over and over. Our ideas are held to incredibly high, rigorous standards, and so, when we speak we do so carefully, thoughtfully, with nuance, and with openness because sometimes we are also wrong. But because weve studied hard and held ourselves up to professional standards, we really do know a lot about what were talking about, and we have something to offer in a real conversation across our differences (including the East Coast Ivy Leaguers who arent as out of touch as you may think). But I dont think you want to hear us or me.

You tell me I need to get over Trumps election and stop being a sore loser. But politics is not a sport. We dont choose teams and simply cheer ours on to victory. My beloved Atlanta Falcons lost the Super Bowl, and, painful though that was, I will get over it. It hurts, but I wont protest, march, write letters, or otherwise resist the outcome, even if we discover New Englands balls were deflated. Its a game, but its not life or death.

This election, however, is exactly that. Perhaps you can tell me to get over it because you do not have to worry that Trump will appoint a Supreme Court justice that could play a role in invalidating your marriage. If Congress passes and Trump signs the First Amendment Defense Act, you probably wont have to worry that a bakery, restaurant, or hotel might legally deny you service. You dont have to worry about being stranded at an airport and refused admission to the U.S. because of the country youre from or the religion you practice. You dont have to worry about having your family divided across the world with a simple signature on an executive order.

You say you are aggrieved because you have not achieved what you think you deserve or you think some less deserving other has taken it. Despite having moved into the middle class, I have spent my career teaching about and advocating for labor unions, a living wage, affordable childcare, social security, affordable healthcare, accessible higher education. Progressives are actually the ones who support the economic programs and policies that could make a difference for the working class.

You have a right to be aggrieved, but I fear you are targeting the wrong people. Low paying jobs, job insecurity, companies moving work overseas, low benefits, little vacation these are the results of decades of policies that benefit the truly wealthy those whose wealth depends not on the labor of their hands but on their ability to exploit the production of poorly paid laborers. The problem is not that immigrants have taken your jobs or drained money from the safety net. The problem is that the system of wealth sets workers against one another so they do not target the real economic power that limits their work and financial security.

You say you want progressives to listen to you. Then prioritize truth. This election was filled with fake news, shared widely on Facebook, and this administration already has begun to create a language of alternative facts to misinform and mislead. If you want to talk, offer evidence, real evidence based on verifiable data and reliable sources, not wishful imaginings or fabricated Breitbart stories. An internet meme is not an informed and legitimate point of argument that facilitates dialogue. Weve reached a point where youd rather believe an overt lie if it supports a belief you already hold than pursue the truth if it might challenge your currently held belief.

The Bible tells us God is a God of truth and the truth will set us free. Yet you chose someone who lies with impunity. I want to understand how you choose to ignore the evidence that is right in front of your eyes photos of the crowds at two different inaugurations, for example. How do you accept what is proven to be a lie? How do you support someone who, rather than correct the record, doubles down on his lies?

Especially, how do you do this in the name of the God of truth? Before the election I saw one of you whod written as an evangelical Christian in support of Trump that God can use anyone. So help me understand why you thought God could use a man whod said hed never asked God for forgiveness, who serially committed adultery, who said he could grab women by the genitals, who cheated contractors and workers, but you didnt think God could use a woman who is a Christian, a lifelong Methodist and who, from the heart, quotes the Bible and John Wesley (when Trump didnt even know how to say Second Corinthians, which he called Two Corinthians, and when asked for his favorite Bible verse struggled to name one until he landed on an eye for an eye. And you know what Jesus said about that one).

I know youve been offended that progressives have called you racist for voting for Trump. I understand that. You dont see yourself as racist. But you did knowingly vote for someone who insulted Latinos, Blacks, Muslims, and Jews. And women. And LGBTQ people. And people with disabilities. Help me understand how that squares with the notion of Gods love for all people.

Can you really imagine Jesus using the words Trump did about these groups of people? How would you characterize voting for someone who is overtly racist? Help me understand how you align your Christian perspective with his racism, misogyny, homophobia, Islamophobia, and antisemitism.

Im afraid that what you want is a nation that conforms to your interpretation of the Bible. Thats where we really run into trouble because that would require you to force your particular conservative Christian beliefs on everyone else. I dont understand how people who want to claim religious liberty for themselves are so unwilling to give it to everyone, which is actually the premise of true religious liberty.

You say you want a Christian nation, but our founders were clear that was never their goal. In fact, the Constitution goes to great lengths to protect the government from religion and religion from government. I also get the sense that you think people are not Christians if they arent Christian in the same way as you. But cant we find some common ground? Cant we agree that all people should be free to practice their religion or practice no religion and should be safe from coercion based on religion? Cant we agree that we share values of love, kindness, respect, and community and then try to live those with each other? Do you really think a Christian, especially a biblical literalist, can want a wall built?

The Bible is clear about how we are to treat foreigners among us no matter how they got here. What if the Egyptians had built a wall before Mary and Joseph fled from King Herod? Our Christian story starts with a refugee family. Can we not practice our shared Christian values with immigrants and refugees coming to our country?

Cant we find common ground on issues like, say, abortion? I think we could have a common goal of lowering abortion rates. After all, you will never end abortions. Maybe you can end the safe, legal ones, but, one way or another, women will still have abortions. They will just be more likely to die from them.

And heres where I think dealing with facts is crucial to find common ground. We know that abortion rates are lower worldwide when there is no global gag order. We also know that what is most successful in lowering abortion rates is access to contraception, accurate sex education, and personal and economic empowerment for women.

To cling to overturning Roe v. Wade as the only way to end abortions is a fantasy based on ideology rather than medical science and social science, and it flies in the face of the evidence for what is successful. So the real question is are you more interested in actual effectiveness in lowering abortion rates or ideological purity? We can lower abortion rates together but not by denying women choices over their own bodies. We can be effective together by listening to the data and working together to ensure all women have access to contraception, education, and social and economic resources. Are you willing to have that conversation?

Ive heard some of you say that well just have to agree to disagree, but thats a problem. You see, were not talking about ideas here. Were talking about actual human lives. If we were talking about predestination or modes of baptism or premillennialism, Id say, sure, lets agree to disagree. The stakes are pretty low. But if were talking about the rights of people to access housing, clean water and air, and healthy food or the possibility of a nuclear arms race or discrimination written into law or women losing basic life-saving health screenings, or young black men being incarcerated disproportionately, or Native peoples having their sacred sites desecrated and their water poisoned, or Muslim people being targeted for their faith, then the stakes are much higher, and I cannot simply agree to disagree.

Thats why Im writing you now. We need to talk, and I dont know how to talk to you anymore. I need to know, is it more important to you to win than to do good? Or can we build coalitions? Listen to science? Rely on real evidence? Be effective? Put the needs and rights of all others above ideologies? Can we live the love of God we claim? You want me to hear and understand you. I get that. I also want you to hear and understand the rest of the world that is not you or your kind. Because they too are Gods people and therefore are in the circle of those whom we must love. You taught me that when I was a child. If we can agree on that now, we have a place to start.