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#im gonna try again when it heals up
moldy-cheese-being · 8 months
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Hate seeing people be like "stick and pokes always look horrible because of the tiny dots and scarring!!!!" Bc that's what i LOVE about them. The shitty, fuzzy, dots give it a nice rustic, unique look, and scarification is literally a type of tattoo, its just done on purpose instead of "oh oops my stick n poke washed out and now theres just a scar" haha
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transsextual · 5 months
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had a really incredible moment this evening. went to my campus art market where one of my friends was selling the tank top i'm wearing - another friend bought it for me and i'm so overjoyed to have it. usually a fit that leans more Traditionally Masculine feels like a costume but tonight it just felt deeply correct and honest and warm. took the opportunity to take some indulgent little pictures because i do not think i have Ever looked more like myself. so happy.
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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.
#so ive been in a bad mental state lately#because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own#which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them#and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too#i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful#and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing#and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas#and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom#so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset#and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything#AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds#i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again#i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best#im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it#but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard#so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk#btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am#and im full of manic energy#tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room
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savage-rhi · 7 months
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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tetranymous · 1 year
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Really annoyed that PC's aren't really made with optical disc drives anymore, support of old games and DVDs aside, what am I gonna do the next time I don't have a free flash drive?? I used to use a CD-RW as a makeshift USB when in a pinch and knew that every pc could read it even if it was a tad strange.
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Is it so hard to ask that sabo follow his dream he had when he was a kid? IS IT??????
Also, his boat was commissioned from Franky! And he did a great job :)
Design talk:
Im gonna start with just sharing his canon designs
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Colors:
Something i want to call attention to is the blue and black in his design.
When he was young, Sabo wore his heart on his sleeve. He had a dream for himself and was taking steps to complete it. Likewise, that blue on his coat is on full display its bright and vibrant and saturated. But also theres that dark blue, almost black, thats underneath it thats being hidden by that coat, the pants, and his tattered cravat. Likewise again, Sabo is hiding his darker side. He has secrets he doesn’t want his brothers to know of and he lets his aspirations and relationships he has with them outshine his past.
In his present design, that blue that was representative of his dreams, is now the one being hidden. Its covered by a complete black coat, a representative of the darkness in his life that now is drives him. This color switch up is symbolic for how he’s put off his dreams and kept it locked up (belt), while choosing instead to pursue a life of darkness for the greater good.
Also, these pictures of young sabo and young adult sabo, you can visually see how less saturated it is. The blue is duller of the coat/undershirt and even more-so with the pants. You can see how he’s much less vibrant than how he was.
In my Post-Story idea, what happens leading up to it is that Sabo succeeds in taking down the world government and after he’s sure the world can move on without him, he goes sailing alone as a pirate to write a book about the world, like he’s always wanted to do. Also, Luffy returns his straw hat to shanks.
So in my design, sabo wears a vibrant blue coat again. He’s living his dream and has nothing holding him back from doing it. The black is still used, and its not being covered, but its on his pants and his gloves. He still has that darkness, but he doesn’t use it as protection or as something to hide, rather as something he moves forwards and progresses with. He will never forget what pain and hardship he went through and he’s not trying to. However, whats underneath all the layers is not darkness or dreams, and its not necessarily being hidden either, its light. Not BRIGHT, but light. Mellow and calm. The settled true nature of a healed man.
I took more colors from his child design than i did with his young adult (YA) one, too. I wanted to show how he’s reconnecting with his younger self by bringing them through to his Post-Story look!
Also, since his journal is his dream, it is blue, as well.
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Items of Clothing:
In both of his canon designs, there is a sense of properness. A top hat, cravat, tailcoat, etc etc.. Its all properness. But more than that, its the idea of responsibility.
Whether he acts responsible or not isn’t what matters in his case, instead its that he wants to look responsible. He wants this because a) he was a little kid who wanted to grow up too fast and be taken seriously, and b) because he has an incredible amount of responsibility being the second in command of the revolutionary army.
To further prove that, I would like to point out his silly little cravat. I love his cravat. But how the hell is that practical for his line of work? Sabo is concerned with being practical, hence his baggy/movable pants and leather gloves. Additionally, just the waist/trench coat, belt, top hat combo would suffice for a proper looking person, but it’s taken excessively with the cravat. The cravat is purely for appearances.
Further symbolism with his cravat, i think, is that this appearance is visually choking him. Its wrapped tightly around his neck when he was a child and when he was most under control of a much higher power. However, when he’s a YA, it’s a lot looser. He’s got some agency, but he’s still being suffocated by responsibilities.
On with my design.
I took away his cravat. Im sorry but it is SYMBOLIC!!!!!!! He is not worried anymore with appearances, he is Free.
I took away his top hat but not his goggles, too. I think that after Luffy gives back the straw hat, Sabo forgoes his hat as well. In solidarity, maybe. If you think about it, the top hat isnt what makes his hat so special, its the goggles. So i got rid of the hat and kept The Goggs. Although it is sad that they are no longer Hatted, as that is one of the beautiful appeals of ASL, they are no longer ASL.
I wanted to keep aspects of his YA design, since even though it is very perforative, its still a style that he’s stuck with since childhood, so he’s gotta like it in some capacity. I just tried to make everything look a lot looser/open on him.
Lastly, i gave him a bit of a beard cuz i think he deserves it.
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Alright! If you got this far, thanks so much for reading my insane ramblings!!!! I fr feel like this rn 👇
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Visually, sabo’s design is not too complex, at least not when you look at him next to Ace, but theres a lot of depth to it. I didnt even think of half of these notes before i started typing this up, its just the more time i look at it, the more i noticed!
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greycaelum · 6 months
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Ok im gonna drop this here for u to write it whenever u want,cause its been hunting me
Royalty au where gojo and reader are living happily,that is until someone poisons his queen when they're having dinner together.
She drinks the wine,and suddenly falls to the ground while throwing up blood and blood running from her eyes. Shoko manages to save her and geto holds gojo back so he doesnt do anything stupid. But when his queen wakes up she's really weak so shoko tells gojo about a flower that'll heal her up,so gojo leaves in order to search for it.
But when he's back,geto leads him to the flower garden the queen loves and he finds her among the flowers,a little better and seeing her not on deadbed has him running toward her,lifting her up and spinning while both of them laugh and kiss
Happy ending
Scribbles & Doodles—Lotus Tears
—Elven Emperor Gojo Satoru X Human Empress Reader
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𑁍 Synopsis:
His azure orbs stare as you reach to cup his cheeks with a slight understanding frown painting your brows. It doesn't help that you are wearing the other pair of purple robes. It made his belly warm, and his chest swelled with pride. You are pairing... He was the only one who could wear the purple robes since he was born, a lone star, but not anymore. And that was enough to make his heart skip a beat. "Will you be back for dinner?" Your tone carried hope and joy into his day. He doesn't understand why he has to part with you every day... He heaved a sigh hoping the day turns to dusk soon so he can hold you again to his heart's content. "For you, always, My Flower."
𑁍 Genre: historical fantasy, elves/faes, dark magic if you squint, interracial marriage
𑁍 WC/CW/TW: (4.3k)— poison, mad Satoru, elven traditions and cultures, fluff, angst, comfort, implication of major character death, mating bonds, talks of rebirth
𑁍 ✒️☕: Hi to the person who sent this ask. Pardon the very long wait, but I loved writing this one, I just need to say your ask is one of my fave ideas for elf Satoru so I tweaked some things, fantasy tropes are my favorite to write to escape canon~ Grey,
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At night when you lay in their bed, your head atop his chest, he cannot sleep a wink for he has forever to spare and only a lifetime with you in his arms. For such a fragile flower, even a man who has grown bleak and untouched over the long passage of time, Satoru cannot help but stroke your head gently, scaring the pixies who would try to sneak in to soak with his mate's presence. He doesn't know if it's a good thing or bad that his mate is loved by the small faes. But one thing is for sure, he doesn't delight that they are trying to pry you awake from his arms. It's no secret he doesn't like sharing... especially when it's about you.
For a human to become the Empress of the High Courts is an unheard thing. Improbable would be the word. And you do not need to know what methods Satoru used to make this happen. Because you already knew that behind his delicate beauty, lies the prickly thorns that wield the absolute power over nature. There is a reason why he was able to rule undisputedly in the indifferent flow of nature over the passage of time.
When he married you, he knew he would uproot the earth and supplant it again and again to give whatever you desired. He is the supreme ruler and Emperor of the High Courts and would only sheath his indifference in the presence of his Empress. He has broken down the millennial walls covering his heart and found himself enthralled by the maiden who never feared the Dark Woods. She found beauty in the mystery of the borders, and he found solace in her presence. She has grown to be his beloved Flower.
Fortunately for you, even as a born human, you have adapted to the faes far quicker. Learning their language and making up for your lack of magic, you learned diplomacy. It was not easy to learn such an intricate affair, but fortune has smiled upon you, with Satoru, who has boundless knowledge of the matter to be your tutor.
"Is this adequate enough?" Satoru hopefully looked at you in the mirror and the craft he had finished for a satisfactory answer.
"Satoru, we are not going to any gathering, are we?" You chuckled as you sat in front of the golden mirror while Satoru stood behind, holding an ivory comb in his hand as he carefully brushed your silky tresses. Small flowers adorned your hair like trinkets as he wove them skillfully into a braid. At this point, your handmaidens have lost their job, with your mate attending to almost everything you need unless he is away for the court.
"At least let me do this before I leave for my duties." He brought the tip of your hair to his lips, kissing it as he stared at you, a longing look on his face. This prompt you to turn the chair and face the elven emperor.
His azure orbs stare as you reach to cup his cheeks with a slight understanding frown painting your brows. It doesn't help that you are wearing the other pair of purple robes. It made his belly warm, and his chest swelled with pride. You are pairing... He was the only one who could wear the purple robes since he was born, a lone star, but not anymore. And that was enough to make his heart skip a beat.
"Will you be back for dinner?" Your tone carried hope and joy into his day.
He doesn't understand why he has to part with you every day... He heaved a sigh hoping the day turns to dusk soon so he can hold you again to his heart's content.
"For you, always, My Flower." Satoru tilted your chin and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "I do not wish to leave." He grumbled and connected your forehead, staring right into your eyes.
Your soft chuckle fluttered through his ears as you reached to cup his cheeks and stare into his eyes. A sense of tranquility floated in your orbs bringing his heart into a puddle of cotton.
"I will wait for you at dinner, Satoru. So the earlier you finish the earlier we see each other. Alright?"
"Alright, as you wish." Satoru sighed and kissed the tip of your nose. "The things you make me do..."
He never thought he would one day sit under the shade of foliage with his Empress on his lap, reading through some parchments while he pilfered some wildflowers to braid her hair. Or to walk while gently pulling the reins of his equine, leading the elk through safe passages whilst you ride on the back. Things he never imagined and things he never thought he would do. But the second you came it all seemed natural for him to indulge you in every way possible.
You are like a brittle glass flower to him that he cannot help but wrap you in the most flawless silks and softest ermine furs. You evoke in him a firm sense of fierce protectiveness.
So imagine the horror and derangement inside him when you were still smiling and talking with him at the dinner table but suddenly blood flowed down your nose, followed by a series of coughs drawing blood from your throat as you dropped to the floor, desperately gasping for air.
If it wasn't for his friend Suguru, a Dragon Lord who he has grown with, who happened to visit the very same day only to pin him down in his rampage of killing the perpetrators hiding in the imperial kitchen staff, perhaps one-fourth of the castle must've already been slaughtered.
All he could see was red. The burning flames consuming the imperial castle and the wilting forest mirrored the despair in his heart. He couldn't hear that his people were wailing for him. All he could ever see was his mate dying each second from the potent poison coursing in her bloodstream.
"Don't touch her!"
He snarled with pure frenzy when Shoko tried to reach out to your unmoving body in his arms.
"Satoru, Shoko is only going to heal her. Your mate needs help." Suguru tried to reason with the livid, elven emperor cradling the unmoving body of his bleeding empress. "She would not do anything to her, only help her."
Suguru could see how unfocused and distraught the dark blue eyes of his friend were, so far from his usual calm and regal sense. Satoru's eyes were bloodshot red. Thankfully, he didn't move when Shoko reached out again to heal his mate. 
A faint color of life returned to your face, but you were still as pale as alabaster, still unconscious. The fire consuming the woods slowly died down... A slight sense of sanity returned to Satoru, who held you close, ready to hide you from the world if not for Shoko's words.
"She's in moratorium state... I've only managed to stabilize her body and freeze the poison to stop it from spreading further. Right now, we need to find an antidote... Or else she will only have seven days to live. For now, let's take the Empress to a safe place." Shoko pinched the bridge of her nose as she looked back to the fire slowly dying down, leaving shared trees and ashes. "And fix the chaos you have ignited, Your Majesty, the Emperor."
There are, but severely few times he let his emotions overcome him. He could count it in his hand. But ever since that sight of your throwing up blood, Satoru experienced a myriad of emotions he thought he was never capable of.
Fear... Despair... Uselessness... and most of all heartbreak...
You don't know how many millions of times his soul has shattered in every second he held your cold hand whilst he channeled all healing spell he knows into your body as you sleep on the cradle of the sacred tree cushioned by wildflowers and vines dangling down the archaic branches of the colossal wood. It seems you're merely asleep, but it feels like it's been forever since he last saw your eyes. The reality is that day by day, you are losing your life while all he can do is sit here, rooted in place, too afraid that if he steps away, he might not see you again.
"Your Majesty..." Shoko came forward. The Emperor has been sitting here for three days straight beside his dying mate in silence holding her hand, unmoving, and would attack anyone who dares to step one foot closer to the lying Empress. The court matters have been neglected, with only the elders holding the court together in his absence. The woodlands are closely related to the essence of the Emperor. The depression of his heart manifested in the woods, which gradually lost the green leaves and were replaced by withered branches...
"I have found a possible cure for the Empress."
Shoko had never felt strong empathy, but she did feel a bit of ache for her friend when he raised his head at her, almost pleading with his bloodshot eyes.
"Speak."
"Do you remember the Sacred Tombs of Tvar?"
The sacred burial grounds of the late Empresses. It's deep-seated in the heart of the Mountain of Hanging Tombs, guarded by the mythical beasts his forefathers have created to protect the resting place of the late Imperial Rulers.
"What about it?" Satoru has only been there once when his Imperial Father has taken him to visit his late Mother. It's a mystical mountain filled with ancient elements, from the creatures to the plants, that can only be heard in folklore.
"For high faes like us, the poison the Empress has induced was nothing serious. But to humans, it is lethal." Shoko sighed. "The spell I cast was only a valve to keep the poison at bay until we can find an antidote. On the seventh day, when the sun rises, the spell will cease to exist, and the poison will corrode her bo—"
"Tell me, what should I do? Anything Shoko. I would kill if I had to." The bones on his knuckles protruded with his clenched fists. The Emperor cut her off. He would not hear her say such ominous words about his mate's life.
He would uproot the earth to find anything that can cure you. Anything.
"Killing might be going too far, but it's not impossible." Shoko took out from her robe a parchment containing a sketch of what seemed like a flower and handed it to her Emperor. She never slept over the three days in a desperate search for any cure. "There's a flower that can only be seen in the Sacred Tombs of Tvar that may be able to save the Empress. As we all know, only the direct descendant of the Imperial Family can enter the Mountain of Hanging Tombs."
The Mountain of Hanging Tombs is as ominous as the name implies. It's a mountain range covered with black mist and ferocious mythical animals and exotic plants. It's not that only the direct descendants of the Imperial Elven Bloodline can enter the mountains, but the lower beasts residing on the foot of the mountains refrain from attacking an imperial descendant since they are born from the first Emperor's blood as well. No ordinary fae can survive these mythical beasts, and could only result in death. Thus, it has become known not to venture deep into the mountains.
Satoru, however, wasted no time to cross the valleys leading to the burial grounds. He needs to find that flower.
Lotus Tears...
It is said that the flower can heal any illness. However, it's impossible to scour for the elusive flower, which roots deep only in the burial grounds of the Empresses and leave unscathed from the toxic plants and mythical animals on top of the Mountain of Hanging Tombs that will attack him at any given second.
"Why do you always put the flower on my left ear? I'm not yet married." You asked him during one of the days he stayed longer to watch over you as you searched for some wild, beautiful flowers in the woods.
Satoru stared at the magenta lilacs he conjured from his hands and tucked them into your left ear.
"You look beautiful in any shade of purple..." It matches the color of his robe.
You pursed your lips and huffed clearly not satisfied by his vague answer.
"You didn't answer my question, Satoru."
He chuckled at your angry face, bopping your nose, making you annoyed as you tried to punch him clumsily. The little girl still has the same pout even as she bloomed into a prim and proper lady. It was too adorable even to be called 'angry.' He jumps down the tree and walks up to you, bringing the tip of your hair to his lips for a soft parting salutation.
"Next time... I will tell you, My Precious Flower." With that, he took you to the borders of the human village and the dark woods, as your Mother was already looking for you. He watches you run into the light while slowly walking back into the shadows.
Maybe... He should have never forced this fate on you. You may have called on him in desperation to flee from the humans chasing after you, but he, being the one who knew better, should have returned you to your realm rather than letting his selfishness devour him and claim you as his mate. If he had done so, then you wouldn't have met this predicament.
You wouldn't have been lying in your blood, cold like a corpse...
"Where is she?" Satoru's heart felt like it was dying when he saw that your body was gone from the bed of the sacred tree. "Where is my mate?! Shoko!"
Did he lose you? Did he come too late?
He stared at the blue lotus he so carefully dug out of the perilous mountain despite the throbbing pain on his shoulders after a chimera managed to bite him before he could slay it.
No, you cannot leave him like this... Oxygen left his lungs, and his feet staggered, unable to support the weight of heaven, crushing his soul. His vision is going black, not like this. He barely got to dote on you. Barely got to drown you with the love he has secretly hidden all these years. No, no, no. Satoru's throat ran dry. He wants to scream as if the tearing of his heart wasn't enough to shout his despair.
The forest closely linked to his essence slowly wilted as if joining their Emperor in his mourning. The leaves slowly dried up. The flowers closed, and the vines started shrinking to twigs. His sorrow is mirrored by nature.
His mind went black, his heart slowly crumbled in every passing second that his eyes could not see you. Why did the gods despise him to tear apart the only joy he has ever touched for what seems like an eternity?
"Satoru!" Suguru found him in haste after the forest slowly grew darker and darker.
Who knew that his apathetic friend could have this vast amount of emotions to turn the lush evergreen forest into a barren land? Suguru wasted no time to drag what seemed to be a lifeless Satoru into a maze-like garden.
Shoko was there. She immediately snatched the mystical lotus from the Emperor. Satoru could care. All things pale in comparison to his mate... All things. He dropped to his knees, holding onto your hand.
"Y-Y/n?" Satoru's throat was parched as he saw your sleeping body, with the wilting grass around, as if you were truly taken away into the underworld... This was your favorite garden... All flowers in here, he has grown with his own hands. Not it seems like he has planted those flowers only to send you off to the afterlife. "No, you can't do this to me, My Flower... I would lose my mind." He muttered like a madman, bringing your cold hands to rub against his cheeks, desperately searching for any signs of warmth but finding nothing...
Suguru tried to pry him away from your frail body, but his malevolence met those who tried to separate you from him until the Dragon Lord had no choice but to use all means to knock Satoru out...
The last thing he saw was your sleeping face as he desperately begged his eyes not to close... He needs to see you, to be beside you... to hold you...
"Satoru...?" You were both sitting under the shade of a magnolia tree with his head on your lap, eyes closed from the glaring sun, meanwhile, you intertwined his lustrous hair into a loose braid, tucking little flowers in your masterpiece.
"Hmm?" It was one of the days when he had enough time to traverse the hills with you and meet other fae tribes so you may have time away from the Imperial Courts.
"Promise me that if the memories we have together start to hurt... you will forget me."
His eyes opened in a split second, and he looked back with furrowed brows only to meet your small smile.
"That is nonsense. I would never wish to forget you. You are my mate." Satoru sat straight and took your hand in his. "What led you to this ominous thought, My Flower? Do not think of such things, we are bonded for eternity."
You gently shake your head.
"You're an elf... I'm a human. Our life span runs differently. Some day... You will have to remember me longer than you have held me..." The bitterness of your eyes was quickly concealed as you closed them. "That's simply the order of nature..."
Satoru was tongue-tied... He cannot face that reality yet... Not yet... If ever the Lady of Light is listening to him, he prays that the sun and moon slow down... Forever never seems to be enough...
Forever will never be enough...
"Satoru...?" 
He wishes never to wake up. If you're not in the world he opens his eyes to, he may as well live in this fantasy. He has lived such a long time in solitude. So even if it's just a fragment of imagination or make-believe, he would choose that sweet lie rather than face the cold reality you're gone...
"Satoru..."
Your voice... It's sweeter than the sirens and softer than the small faes singing with the birds in early dawn...
A soft touch brushed off the fringes on his temples, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. Unable to bear the brightness, his eyes opened and looked up to the blue sky...
Slowly, his blurry eyes met your worried ones as you tucked your hair behind your ear while staring at him with his head laying on your lap.
"You're finally awake... Thank goodness!" You sighed and smiled. "Welcome home, Satoru..."
Your hair... It's not the same color as it was... It shone a bright silver like his under the sunlight, which only the imperial descendants can inherit... But he knew it was you... His soul tells him so.
"Y-Y/n?" He reaches out to touch your cheeks that have grown prominent... more elf-like... "This isn't a dream?"
Your sweet chuckle filled his ears as your warm palms held his and pressed it to your cheeks, kissing his wrist.
"I must've worried you so... I'm sorry, but I'm fine now... because of you."
You're really warm... So warm, you melted the millennial thorny wall he built around his heart. Your palms are so dainty compared to him, but they have always been able to soothe him more than anything else.
"You... You look like me..." Satoru slowly sat up as he took in your features. "My Flower... you look like a fae..." Satoru is a bit confused about the sudden transformation. You look just as you are, but the silver hair, pointy ears, and sharper features... 
"It must've been because of the flower's healing attributes," Shoko explained, taking a step forward to assess the changes on you, who indeed looks like an elf now. 
"Explain, Shoko." Satoru looked at the woman as he was adamant about answers.
"The flowers had healing attributes; it's just a speculation, but aside from healing, we all know that lotus also signifies rebirth. The flower may have deemed it necessary to change the human blood running in the Empress's veins into elven blood for her to heal from the poison fully... As for the silver hair, I can only think that since the Lotus Tears came from the sacred buriel grounds of the late Empresses, it must have absorbed most of their remaining energy and passed it on to the Empress through the flower's healing attributes..."
"Does that mean my Mate is now an elf?" Satoru cannot believe how these events have turned out for you and him. He took your hand and studied your features... You are still you, but indeed, there swirls a more mystical air around you, and only a faint scent of human blood is left lingering in you.
"The Empress is not yet fully an elf at the moment, but I am sure before the fortnight ends, her transformation will be complete, and she will truly be a full-fledged fae, like us." Shoko nodded.
You stared at Satoru... The once wilting forest which you woke up to slowly regained life.
For a man so stoic, he is an open book... You can't help but chuckle as the smaller faes slowly creep out of their homes and rejoice at the blossoming life enveloping the woods again. Shoko and Suguru have left, leaving you and your mate some privacy in the garden.
"I..." Satoru cannot confess enough what he had done out of rage and sorrow when he thought you were gone.
"I know..." You shake your head telling him to speak no more as you took him in your arms... This time, you could feel him ever closer, hear his thoughts louder, and see him clearer. Everything he has done and he has said, you knew and felt in each passing second... But no words were uttered, as you can feel the remorse coursing in his being. What he needs the most is your embrace...
Nature can renew itself as long as it is given care and time...
The trees are once again full of luscious foliage, the grass is back to its evergreen hue, and the different faes have returned to their homes and gone through their duties as usual. Satoru is somehow a bit busier with the court matters, while you, the Empress, needed a little more recuperation before you come back to your court duties.
"Your Majesty... We always knew you smelled sweet even before you became like us."
The smaller sprites sat on your finger as they flapped around you, more drawn than ever. It seems that your new form has made you more captivating to their instincts, just like how they are drawn to the presence of their Emperor.
"Really? Though, I know you just want more sugary treats." You played with their cheeks until they perked up and bowed to someone. "See you tomorrow, Your Majesty!"
You didn't have to guess who made the little sprites flee in haste.
You turned around, and sure enough, you were swept off your feet as a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. His sweet sandalwood scent filled your senses, soothing your racing heart.
"I missed you, My Flower... What did my mate get for me?" Satoru looked at the basket you're holding, filled with several flowers from the garden he built for you.
"It's nothing much... It's too loose to be called a crown." You showed him the crown you clumsily made with some lilacs. But Satoru guided your hand to put it on his head, indulging you with anything. You have now fully turned into an elf. Bright silver hair, lucid eyes, and the sweet scent of jasmine and orchid around you with the purple robes that only the Imperial Rulers can wear. Anyone who sees you will immediately recognize you as an Imperial Fae and their Empress.
"I would take anything you offer me, Y/n." Satoru softly kissed her forehead... his lips slowly kissed his way down your nose until he found your lips. "Can I ask for a kiss?"
"What if I say my kisses are not offered?" You raised a brow.
Satoru merely shrugged it off with a smirk.
"I'm pretty sure you can make exceptions for your husband, no?" Satoru chuckled. "Can I have my kiss now?"
Your sweet smile and soft giggle drowned in as he captured your lips for a gentle but passionate kiss.
If the lotus has tears, he will shed it only and only for you...
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—GreyCaelum
PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME
Check out the Masterlist for more
All rights and credits of the Jujutsu Kaisen character(s) mentioned images(s) and songs(s) used, belongs to their respective owner(s)
General Taglist: @ice-icebaby  @aeanya @tender-rosiey @lexiene @nevermoresworld @loml-riri @pelicanpizza @emichou-chan
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Sorry, I meant to send an ask yesterday, but I got carried away 😅
So what about ut, us, uf and ht (you can ignore the last one if you want to don't worry) and how they would be with a reader that hides the fact that they're physically hurt.
Maybe they went hiking with the skellie, and they tripped and pretended that it was only a little scratch when days later they see quite a big wound that's infected.
It's a bit gross, so it's okay if you don't do it, don't worry :)
Have a good day/night and be safe
-💀
UnderTale, UnderSwap, UnderFell, and HorrorTale skellies react to a reader hiding that they're injured
you had gotten in a little tussle with a fallen branch walking home. you were completely oblivious, and tripped right over it. it hurt to walk on, and you soon noticed it swelling. it wasn't... sprained, right? nah, of course not! you brushed it off, thinking that it would be just fine in a day or two.
but until then, you might want to put some ice on that.
and so you did. for three days, with no sign of improvement. you tried keeping it a secret, but then your s/o came home while you were putting ice on it, right on the couch beside the door, and...
UnderTale:
Sans:
-he walks into the house, immediately heading for the couch.
-"hey, y/n, i'm ho- you alright? what happened to you?"
-"oh! sans, hi, i didn't expect you home so early!" you wave frantically to draw his eyes away from your ankle.
-"yeah... work was slow, so i came home. whats going on? you're acting weird."
-"pshh, don't be silly, nothing's wrong! absolutely nothing!"
-he sighs.
-"my whole shtick back in the underground was that i can see peoples stats. your HPs lowered, you're acting really awkward about your leg, and you're trying to hide an ice pack from me. i know, i saw it when i walked in. so, im gonna ask you again. whats going on?"
-you sighed. he caught you, he always did.
-"i dont know what's up. I tripped a few days ago and my ankle just started swelling. I'm gonna give it a few more days before I see a doctor, just to see if it heals on its own."
-"alright then," really? that's it? not going to insist you see someone? well, that's great for you! "I'm going to grillby's. wanna come?"
-you nodded your head.
-"cmon, let's take a shortcut."
-he took you to the fucking ER.
Papyrus:
-you look up after hearing the door open and you heard a crash.
-he had gone grocery shopping, apparently, because his bags were sprawled on either side of him on the floor.
-his jaw was only half hinged, that's how bad you scared him.
-as in it dropped. almost fully.
-he suddenly runs to your side (re-hinging his jaw on the way) and kneels by your side.
-"HUMAN, what ever is the matter? is it serious? does it hurt? will it need stitches? should i take you to-"
-"Paps! i'm okay. i think it's just sprained, i'll be alright," you tries to reassure him.
-"SPRAINED? oh, HEAVENS no, i must take you to the doctor right away!"
-you sigh. "Papyrus, it isn't that big of a deal. i'm sure it'll be alright in a few days."
-"absolutely not! what if it's worse than you think? it could kill you!"
-he really thought a sprained ankle could kill you? he may be clueless about human injuries, but at least he cares!
-you don't have too much time to reply before he picks you up, puts you in the car, buckles you up (because heaven forbid something ELSE happen to you, ESPECIALLY under his watch) and brings you to the ER.
UnderFell:
Sans:
-he literally did not notice.
-he grumbles a quiet, "hey," before trotting upstairs into his room.
-it isn't until several days later when the pain has worsened and you cannot walk on it that he asks what the fuck is going on.
-you explained that you had tripped a few days ago, and it got swollen, and you thought that it would just go away, but it's been getting worse and worse since it happened.
-"fuckin' idiot," he groaned. "i'm dating a goddamn moron! alright, get in the car. i'm takin' you to a hospital."
-he's groaning the entire way.
Papyrus:
-as soon as he lays eyes on you, he sighs.
-"what did you do this time?"
-what the hell did he mean, 'this time'? he CANNOT be holding you accountable for that one time you got a concussion! that was HIS fault!
-"hey! you BETTER not be talking about-"
-"about the concussion," he cut you off. "yes, yes, i'm aware, you believe that incident to be my doing. however, i can GUARANTEE that this is not! now, tell me what happened. i expect a full explanation."
-you rolled you eyes and told him, feeling a little pissed off about his crossed arms and tapping foot, although you couldn't fully blame him. the whole situation WAS a little silly, now that you have to say it out loud.
-he scoffed when you finished talking. such a silly thing! why the HELL didn't you immediately see a doctor? swelling is NEVER normal!
-how did he, a skeleton monster who had gone most of his life without so much as seeing a human, know more about human anatomy than a fully grown human adult?
-and how did he, an esteemed member of the royal guard, end up in a relationship with such a fool?
-"get yourself looking decent. we are visiting the hospital to get you proper treatment."
-'looking decent', you looked fi-! no, you didn't, nevermind.
UnderSwap:
Sans:
-"hey, y/n, Alphys let out training early, so i'm back! what are you doing?"
-you scrambled to hide the ice pack and hike your pants back over your ankle. "oh, uh. . . nothing," you said sheepishly in reply, a fake grin appearing on your face.
-"oohhhh, no no no. i know that look. you're hiding something. best be honest now."
-damn him! how DARE he know you so well!
-"i think i did something to my ankle," you muttered.
-"hmm. . . let me see."
-he walked over and inspected your ankle for a few moments.
-"it looks sprained. when did this start?"
-"a few days ago. i tripped and it started swelling."
-he gave your ankle ankther quick look.
-"and why didn't you tell me?"
-"well, i thought it would go away at first. i was going to tell you, if it didn't. i was just going to wait a few days."
-"well, there's no need! i'm taking you to a doctor."
-he helped you stand and let you use him as something like a crutch, so you wouldn't have to put too much weight on your injured foot.
Papyrus:
-you look up to see him standing, eyebrows furrowed (you know what i mean sans does it in the main game) looking at you.
-"anything you want to tell me?"
-"ah, nothing. . . i'm just gonna go to a doctor if this doesn't start getting better."
-you knew the look he was giving you. he wanted to know what happened.
-"i tripped a few days ago and my ankle started swelling. nothing major. it's just a little sore."
-"mmm. i'm sure. you have five minutes, then i'm taking you to a doctor," he said as he laid on the couch beside you.
-"no, Paps, there's really no need-" you were interupted by snoring. but you knew that didn't mean you were off the hook. he would be awake in five minutes EXACTLY, whether you were ready to go or not.
HorrorTale:
Sans:
-he kinda just stands there for a few moments after he sees you with the ice pack.
-ice pack means something's wrong, because he doesn't see food around, but his skull injury makes figuring anything else out difficult.
-ice pack. . . on your ankle. . .
-it doesn't matter what's wrong. he just knows something is. so, he comforts you! in the only way he knows how!
-which is a BONE-CRUSHING hug.
-and because you're sitting, and he's standing over you, leaning down to hug you, it's a very awkward angle. leading to a lot of bones jabbing into uncomfortable places.
-you know you can't really do anything to get him off of you, so you just wait it out.
-"i'm alright, Sans. it isn't anything major. i'm about to go to a doctor!"
-he was going to tell you to anyway. you just got that part out of the way.
-his time in the underground under Undyne's rule made him very paranoid about the health of those he loves, so no matter how big the injury, you MUST see a doctor.
-it's not up for debate.
-he drives you because he doesn't want you to have to put any more strain on your ankle.
-(should he even have a drivers license? questionable...)
Papyrus:
-he has a puzzled look on his face.
-that. . . he suspected that wasn't a good sign.
-"y/n. . . i don't suppose you want to tell me what is going on?"
-"oh," you nervously laughed. "no biggie. just tripped a few days ago, it kinds hurts. if it doesn't feel better tomorrow i'm seeing a doctor."
-"hmm. i shall hold you to that."
-you laughed. you bet he would.
-spoiler alert, he did.
(a/n: sorry if this is totally inaccurate to having a sprained ankle, it just seemed like a good scenario, and i was too in the writing groove ((once i actually started)) to do much research)
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months
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childhood friends danny and jason miscellaneous thoughts: because why not, i'm reworking ch2 because it no longer fits with the remaster of chapter 1 so i've been thinking of them, and i love talking about them. which you should totally go read the remaster because its 26k words and im very proud of it and it barely got any attention.
First off Ellie vapes. Mostly because I think its real fucking funny. The first time Danny finds out about it he gets all up in arms about it. Ellie at first thinks its because she's smoking -- which, helloooo pot meet kettle, Danny has been smoking for a lot longer than she has.
And then he throws a curveball at her and says he's upset specifically because its vaping. Like no, no. Dammit, if you're gonna fuck up your lungs you gotta do it properly, none of this cotton-candy flavored nonsense.
He plays it up for laughs and it's largely non-serious 'i can't believe you're using a vape', if only to hide the fact that he is genuinely displeased with his little sister smoking. Self-destructive behaviors and bad habits are his thing, thank you very much.
But, well, he knows he'd be a hypocrite if he told her he didn't like that she was smoking. He's aware its bad for him, but habits are hard to break and he's not particularly keen to break this one in particular.
Danny bullies her relentlessly about it whenever she vapes in front of him. Like don't be a loser, Elle, carry a carton of cigs and a lighter in your back pocket like the rest of us degenerates.
[more under the cut]
Secondly: Danny's piercings? He got the first lobe piercings as a lost bet from Sam in junior year, and they did it in her room with a needle, a small bottle of blood blossom extract, and an apple. He broke out in hives for a week after thanks to the blood blossom, but it prevented the hole from healing up :)
He got the rest done professionally at a piercing place in the Ghost Zone. He asked Johnny where to find it. Sam and Johnny (and Kitty) nearly convinced him into getting snakebites. He got an eyebrow piercing instead.
Danny's undercut is also self-done, he did it because Technus shot at him with an ectoblast and it missed hitting him, but set his hair on fire. Danny got it out pretty quickly, but it left his hair lopsided and obviously looking like it got burned by something. He went to Sam for help after the fight. He liked the way it looks so he's kept it that way since.
-
Vlad brought up Jason once(1) in a taunt during a fight, and this was after Jason disappeared from the ghost zone, and Danny very. very nearly killed him on the spot. He hasn't done it since.
Which leads into the other thing: Grief Triggers! As I call them. All Banshees have them in this au.
While all banshees are, in general, in a permanent state of grief, Grief Triggers are a specific emotional response that can cause them to spiral into a state of intense, sometimes debilitating sorrow, and most of the time causes them to start wailing.
Banshees know what their Grief Triggers are and in general tend to try and build up a form of resistance against it so that, if something occurs that happens to trigger said grief, they can at least either get away from other ghosts to let loose or have enough control over themselves that it'll take more work to send them spiraling.
As expected, Jason is Danny's grief trigger. He's built up a pretty good resistance to it so that hey, talking about him and his death is easier than when Danny was fourteen. But a little more prodding and it will trigger, especially depending on who brings him up and how. (See: Vlad)
Grief Triggers also manifest relatively the same; with the induction of an intense state of grief and sorrow, but how a banshee acts on it can sometimes vary. Again, it depends on who triggers it and how. Some of them can get,,, violent, depending on how it happens.
Rath, this au's 'Dan', is a case of a banshee being put into the grief state caused by grief triggers and... never really leaving it. Which they usually do on their own, or with help depending on the severity of it.
At the time it happened Danny was going through the worst week of his life a second time: his best friend's ghost disappeared, then his family and friends all died right in front of him, and then he was stuck with someone who wasn't helping him through that grief.
He was already in the grieving state when Vlad tore out his ghost half. As a result, Vlad only made it worse. With that fury thrown into the mix, Vlad ended up getting torn apart and nobody else was close enough with nor could they get close enough to Rath to help him come down from the wailing state.
So Rath ended up getting stuck in a perpetual negative feedback loop of absolute misery, and well... drove himself insane. The rest of the world became collateral as a result.
-
the difference between Danny and Jason lies in the fact that Jason died, while Danny is dead.
-
I'm having more thoughts on the CFAU/TMWS universe banshees, actually.
Banshees are either born in the ghost zone from ectoplasm and are ecto-entities and work as banshees as how we know of them, or they're human spirits that died mourning someone and that grief was so intense that it turned them into a banshee. They're a little more rare.
These banshees typically mourn only one person, or sometimes they follow their Realm-born counterparts and choose a family to mourn for. Typically their own.
Ember is not a banshee; human spirit banshees are always mourning another person. However, her abilities emulate certain qualities of banshees: like the beautiful singing. But in comparison to an actual banshee, Ember's voice pales.
Does this mean Danny has the better singing voice? Yeah. Ember is incensed by this.
-
If canon Danny and CFAU/TMWS Danny met, I think canon Danny would be kinda unsettled or off put by CFAU.
CFAU Danny still has some pretty core Danny traits, at least I like to think so -- his general drive to help people just out of compassion for them (even if it manifests differently at first due to trauma), his wit and humor, his fear of failing to protect his loved ones, all of those resonate with canon Danny.
However, canon Danny, as far as I can remember and as far as his wiki goes, rarely gets extremely angry or emotional. He gets irritated and he gets annoyed but him getting mad I don't think happens super often. CFAU Danny is the angrier one between Jason and Danny. It's one of the things I consider a division point between him and canon Danny as it's a result of him growing up in Crime Alley. Canon Danny is canonically shy and meek prior to becoming Phantom, CFAU Danny couldn't be -- he'd be dead already.
CFAU Danny's anger would off put canon Danny, in my opinion. His anger, his smoking, and for lack of a better term, his bloodlust would unsettle him.
Like, for example, say CFAU Danny gets transported to a canon (or canon-adjacent) Danny's universe. He's staying with canon for a little bit as they brainstorm how to get him back home, and CFAU Danny goes to school with canon if only so that he's not stuck in the house all day.
Whether they try and pass CFAU Danny off as canon's cousin or if the town already knows that he's another version of Danny, it doesn't matter. Because insert Dash.
Dash who, in CFAU Danny's world, has since learned not to fuck around with Danny or the other kids because Danny has long since asserted that he will beat his ass if he does. 'Fucking around' always predates the 'finding out', and Danny is happy to act as consequence.
(As my father told me (paraphrased) when I was a small child and full of uncontrollable anger: "there's gonna be a day where you're gonna hit someone, and they're gonna hit you back")
And canon Dash, who is used to canon Danny who kinda just takes it because it means that he won't target other people, would see CFAU Danny. He'd notice the resemblance between him and canon, immediately try and go "oh new target!", and try and bully him the same way he does to canon. And Danny "I am the consequences of your actions" CFAU Fenton, instantly throws hands.
Just, CFAU Danny is kind but he's also Gotham-raised and full of bite; he's meaner than canon is. He's more ruthless too, especially in his ghost fights. The ease of which he slips into violence would, imo, discomfort canon. CFAU and Canon would eventually get along though, they're not so different that they'd be in constant clash of each other.
(Canon Danny and Danyal Al Ghul however,,, thats another post LMAO)
#cw smoking#cw vaping#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dead on main au#childhood friends au#cfau#dpdc#ugh i could have made this two parts probably#i've had a lot of thoughts on banshees in this au and how i could adjust them#what i didn't get into: the ghostly behavioral affects that danny has gone through since dying. the ghostly mood swings and#heightened emotions that he's had to work through for the last five years.#one of my favorite lines in the remaster is danny mentioning offhandedly that he's gotten better at his mood swings ever since being a ghos#but also implying that vlad has been on the receiving end of these mood swings before and it didnt end well for him#like yessss gurl go through permanent irrevocable changes of your physiology and psyche that has ultimately altered you from the person you#used to be. you are now no longer fully human yess gurl pick up those habits and behavioral changes that is common in the species you've#been turned into even if its only halfway.#iirc i don't think i included obsessions in this au and checking the remaster doc and the word doesn't show up once in all 26k words of it#so hey looks like we get this instead#danny's singing voice is permanently ingrained in my head as sounding like hozier#its very very funny to imagine my au dannys meeting canon danny or canon adjacent danny#cfau seeing dan: who tf is that?? | canon: um.. dan? our evil alternate future self? | cfau: THATS your evil future self??#canon: yeah?? does yours not. look like that? | cfau: NO?#look if dan saw rath he would do a doubletake is all im saying and then would go “what the fuck what the fuck what the fUCK”#turning rath into a horror movie abomination is the fun part of this au and he's never even gonna show up#jason died but danny is dead. it lies in the past and the present. the was and the is. one of us got up and the other didn't
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hugshughes · 8 months
Text
The 1 A. Fantilli
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Adam Fantilli x fem!reader
synopsis - based on “the 1” by Taylor Swift obvs. The school year starts back up at the University of Michigan and after your break up with Adam, you’re trying to live life freely but can’t seem to get the idea of him and your relationship off your mind. But what happens when you see him again, and you both are yearning for each other more than ever before?
wc - 4.5k (:0)
contains - lowkey angst but also very fluffy closure, reader cries, miscommunication a little bit (i know), kissing, cuddling. (if i missed anything please let me know!!!!)
an - this is the first part in my folklore 100 follower celebration! i’m so excited for it! i do not loveeee this but i really wanted to get this first part out! hopefully you guys like this! here is the masterlist to this celebration. me when im about to make a fic based off “the 1” have a happy ending 😊. also sorry this took longer than expected i has surgery the other day and did not pop back to normal like i assumed i would lmao. please someone get the betty refernce at the end ;))) also i still need a player to use for my betty fic for this celebration so… someone request someone. also this is barely edited so sorry. also should i make a taglist?? would anyone like that??
-
i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit. been saying “yes” instead of “no”.
To say you were definitely doing much better now that August had arrived was a true statement. You’d been a wreck most of the summer over your breakup with Adam, but as the summer started to slow down and your tan glowed, you felt you heart get lighter and rid itself of it’s burdens.
You and Adam had broken up just a little bit before the draft. The prospect of him being in Anaheim while you finished school in Ann Arbor sounded like an impossible feat to conquer.
You also knew what the newfound NHL fame would bring Adam, even more attention than before, new people, new friends, new girls surrounding him. And while you knew Adam would never in a million years cheat on you, you didn’t want him to feel like he had to be tied to something, someone, 2,234 miles away, to be exact.
When you watched the draft and saw Leo get drafted to Anaheim, your heart sank to your stomach. Many tears were shed that night, knowing the boy you loved with all of you wouldn’t be 2,234 miles away, only 190.
You assumed that if he wanted you back he would’ve called, or texted, or emailed, or sent a letter, anything. But you got nothing, so you accepted that he was perfectly okay with still being apart. Even though it did hurt because you remembered the night both of you cuddled close and whispered about how amazing it would be if he went to Columbus and not Anaheim.
i thought i saw you at the bus stop, i didn’t though.
When school started back up, you couldn’t help but see him everywhere you went. You did feel better, and you were healing, but it did instill an ache in your chest when you’d see your favorite study spot, your table at the starbucks right off campus, his dorm building, everything.
You even thought you saw him there once, your eyes widened with fear as you thought you saw him standing at a bus stop on campus but it wasn’t him, just another brunette boy, but not yours.
i hit the ground running each night. i hit the sunday matinée. you know the greatest films of all time were never made.
It was hard for about a week or so, being back in the place where you fell head over heels in love with him, but your friends would always be quick to cheer you up and tell you “it’s gonna be okay.” And most of the time you believed them.
You’d gone to many more parties than you had last year, you were usually trying to spend time with Adam and you two preferred being alone together than things like parties.
You felt the ache when you saw a guy taking his girlfriend to the Barbie movie, as stupid as that seems. You and your friends had all waited to see it until you were back together and you were all dolled up in your pink outfits. But you couldn’t help but have that same ache when you remembered Adam promising to take you to see if, and promising to wear pink just for you.
Obviously, that never happened. After the movie you couldn’t help but pull up your photos and scroll through your ‘Adam🤍’ album, the videos got to you the most.
Adam had made you film yourself when you opened your birthday gift from him, you had no idea why.
“Baby, why am I filming this?”
“Because, I want to be able to rewatch your reaction to it!”
You give him a funny look, and he urges you to open the big bag, seeing a jersey, a Michigan jersey. You’re pretty confused because you have a Fantilli jersey already, one you wear often. You pull it out of the bag and unfold it and turn it around, and then you see it. Instead of Fantilli across the back, it says “MY MAN”. Your jaw drops, you start laughing so hard, like stomach hurting from how hard you’re laughing.
Adam joins in your laughter, asking if you like it. You tackle him in a hug, kissing his cheek twice.
“It’s so perfect!”
The video was perfect, it ended in your phone falling from it’s propped up place on your desk as you kissed Adam. You felt happy and sad when you saw it. Happy that it happened, that you were able to ever experience that kind of love. Sad because it was all gone now.
i guess you never know, never know. and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed. and if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow.
You know that if you had the chance, you’d go back to Adam without thinking for two seconds. He was the best thing that you’d ever been graced with. He was everything to you, and you know that in a tucked away part of your heart he still is.
You just wish you both had tried harder, because you both loved each other with all of your beings. You just wished you both showed how much you really wanted it at the end, but both of you were scared of how the other was feeling.
but we were something, don’t you think so? roaring 20’s, tossing pennies in the pool.
In the middle of the night, when you’re staring at the ceiling of your room after watching Adam’s newest highlights you tend to always think about one thing; if he still thinks about you, the way you do him.
You hoped he did, you hoped you weren’t the furthest thing from his mind at all times. And if you were to ask him, he would tell you that you were all he could think of for months, you were the only thing on his mind when he woke up, and when he went to sleep. Columbus was fun, and new, and exciting, but you were everything to him.
Adam had hoped you’d send him a text the night of the draft, and then he’d be able to start talking to you again. But, you never texted, you were worried he wouldn’t care if you did. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself.
and if my wishes came true it would’ve been you.
You had wished on 11:11s, fallen stars, eyelashes, candles, four-leaf clovers, everything, that you and Adam would be together always, and that didn’t end when you broke up, you still wished for him, always.
in my defense, i have none. for never leaving well enough alone. but it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.
You always felt like you were doing something wrong towards the end of your relationship, not because of Adam. It was because you just had a voice in the back of your head telling you that you weren’t doing enough for him and that you were making him upset, and it led to you doing things to try to fix that but only would end up making things worse.
You just needed him always, you two were inseparable. You were at every home game, a good amount of the away games, and then you were almost always together during any free time you two had. While you were only together for about a year, you could see your life with Adam. He had said something to you about wanting to marry you, 5 months after you started dating. You were just it for each other.
i have this dream you’re doing cool shit. having adventures on your own. you meet some woman on the internet and take her home.
You think about if he has met another girl yet. You know that those hockey teams like going out together and they definitely attract lots of female attention. The ache came back at the thought of him sleeping in the same bed as another woman.
we never painted by the numbers, baby. but we were making it count.
Some people thought your relationship was, unrealistic, in a sense. You and Adam were together all the time, and it made certain family members and friends question what would happen after the draft came and Anaheim took your boyfriend from you. But obviously, Anaheim didn’t take your boyfriend, Columbus did, which made the breakup hurt even more.
Every minute you spent with Adam was full of love. There were very little disagreements, and the few that did take place were always out of love, which also made everything hurt more. No one could’ve seen your breakup coming, you two included, it just came up one night and ended up with you two calling it quits. It was the first time you’d ever seen Adam cry, and that broke you inside.
you know the greatest loves of all time are over now. i guess you never know, never know. and it’s another day waking up alone.
Sometimes you wake up and forget he’s not yours anymore, that he might even be someone else’s. And then you snap back to reality and it hits you like a train. Your roommates sometimes leave sticky notes to you that you’re gonna be okay, that’s everything’s okay. He was the greatest thing ever. Your love for him conquered all.
i, i, i persist and resist the temptation to ask you, if one thing had been different. would everything be different today?
You just play back every single moment in your head. Wondering if you’d done anything different if you’d still be his, if he’d still love you how he did. What you didn’t know was that he was doing the same exact thing 190 miles from you, resisting the urge to text you.
Adam was counting down the days until his birthday, praying that you would text him, allowing him to start a conversation with you. You were as well, having typed out your birthday message to him already, weeks early, waiting to be sent.
but we were something, don’t you think so? rosé flowing with your chosen family. and it would’ve been sweet, if it could’ve been me.
You two would spend nights with his friends, the boys he loved most, and his teammates because you wanted them to like you because he liked them. You wanted to be able to have their approval and you definitely did. Your friendships lasting with a few of the players, specifically Dylan Duke.
Dylan had been so incredibly sweet to you when you met, understanding how it probably felt to be surrounded by a team of boys who you didn’t know. He was someone you could hang out with at hockey parties when you felt like you were being too clingy to Adam.
in my defense i have none, for digging up the grave another time.
Dylan had been begging you to come to a hockey game since before the season started. And you were finally convinced so you are going to attend the 2nd Providence game. They won last night 2-4 and were hoping to do the same again.
You felt the ache when you were searching through your umich gear for your outfit to the game and found your Fantilli jerseys. You took a deep breath and pushed it off, grabbing a blue and maize crewneck and throwing it on over your leggings and blazers and leaving.
You got into the Children of Yost section pretty easily, but it was always a hassle nonetheless. You found some friends and stood with them, shouting cheers when the guys skated out.
You and your friends were pretty close to the glass in the student section, only a few rows back, so you were able to see the guys really well. You screamed when Dylan scored his first goal of the night, he saw you and laughed so hard. Luca, who was hugging his teammate was confused by how hard Dylan was laughing, and looked to see what the source of his entertainment was. When he saw you, jumping up and down with your friends, screaming for Dylan, he was shocked. Shocked you’d even come to a game. And then his eyes widened when he realized his brother was here, watching him play.
When the first period was over the Childen of Yost settled down and danced to the songs and did the little games that came up to on the jumbotron. Your fun halted when you saw Adam come up on the screen, the words “Welcoming back former Wolverines!” and his names flashing on it. Your friends saw and their jaws dropped. He hadn’t been at the game the night before, of course he hadn’t, of course this was the game he came to.
You brushed it off and insisted that you were fine. You continued to have fun and mess around with your friends during the break in between periods. But then Adam had the shock of his life, staring at the screen as the view of you and your friends dancing to American Boy by Estelle & Kanye as the cameras showed different groups of the Children of Yost.
The second he gets over his shock you’re off the screen, and he’s slightly leaning out of his seat, searching the crowd of the student section, and then he saw you, messing around and playing with your friends. Part of him wishes you were in his jersey, as unrealistic as that seems. He wonders if you still have his jerseys, if they’re in a thrift store somewhere, or if they’re tucked away in the bottom of a box in your room.
He knows Dylan probably convinced you to come, because Dylan was your favorite of his friends, and the two of you guys were “besties” whenever you were together. He wonders if you’ll go down towards the locker room after the game to see Dylan and if he’ll get to see you again.
The game ended soon enough, the guys winning 3-4 with 2 goals from Duker. He texted you after the game to come down, wanting to go to eat with you after.
-
from: Duka👊
Dude come down after I wanna go eat
from: Y/n/n🤝
idk duke i kinda wanna go home
from: Duka👊
Bro no you have to stop being a loser
from: Y/n/n🤝
fine.
-
He liked your message and you let out a sigh,
“Hey guys, I’m gonna go down and see Duke. I’ll see you guys later, okay?”
They nodded and gave you light hugs, telling you random things that are always part of girl goodbyes.
“Are you sure, do you think Adam’ll be down there, babe?”
You sighed again, shrugging, hugging her tighter.
“Don’t know, but I can’t let him stop me from doing things, right? If I see him, I see him. I don’t know if he’ll say anything to me, but if he does I’ll just talk to him normally, you know?”
The girls all nod, saying goodbye again, telling you things about your said “girl power”. You made your way through the arena, getting let through by security and heading back to the hall where the players come out.
You kept your head in your phone as you leaned against the wall, snapping people, scrolling through Instagram, and texting your mom about the game.
Dylan came out fast compared to usual. You high-fived him as he came up to you, congratulating him on his two goals. He thanked you and then was quick to try to get you guys to leave.
“Dylan, It’s okay. I know he’s here. I’m not gonna like, run away from him. Alright?”
“Yeah alright, he was just in the locker room and I was worried you might not know, 'cause I didn’t even know, so.”
You nodded and smiled at him, patting his shoulder in thanks. Then you realized he was missing something.
“Dylan, did you leave your phone in the locker room?”
He looked at you in confusion, then patting the pocket on his bag, and then his sweatpants pockets, then his sweatshirt pocket, but came up empty.
“Shit. Alright, I’ll be back in half a second, wait here.”
You nod and he hands you his backpack, racing back to the locker room. You put his bag on your back and look back at your phone again. And then you hear him, his laugh. You don’t even wanna look up, you glance out of the corner of your eye, seeing his silhouette.
You freeze in your stance, fingers pausing on your screen. You hear him, Luca, and Mark talking very loudly. Adam sees the bag on your back first “DUKE #25” along the side of it. Then he realizes it’s you. He quiets down very quickly, almost stopping in his tracks.
Luca notices his baby brother’s change in attitude instantly, whipping his head to the side, his eyes meeting your figure. Mark, somehow sees you and his mind doesn’t think for two seconds. He calls your name, happy as ever.
“Hey! Come here I haven’t seen you in forever. What’s up?”
You wince at his obliviousness, or maybe his uncaring of the situation. You squeeze your eyes shut for a second before putting a smile on.
“Hey Mark, I’m fine. How are you?”
He nods and replies, half hugging you and pulling you back towards his group. Luca quickly says hey to you, wrapping his arms around you briefly.
You look at Adam, your eyes softening. He looks at you as if you’re the only girl in the world, and to him, you are. You go to say hey to him but he hugs you before words can come out. He holds you so so tightly, and you practically grip him. Fuck, you missed him.
“Hey, Adam.”
You feel him take a deep breath in, rubbing his hand up and down your back.
“Missed you.”
“Missed you too, Adam.”
You both seem to realize you aren’t alone and you pull away, clearing your throat as the other two boys look at you with huge smiles. You feel heat radiating from your cheeks as the four of you stand there.
The awkward silence is cut off by Dylan racing back through the hall.
“Hey dude, sorry I took so long. Ty started asking me about something-”
He stopped himself when he saw you standing inches from Adam, a blush covering your face. He tries to cover the smile overtaking his face.
“Oh hey guys, um well, we were about to go eat, you guys wanna join?”
Your eyes widened at Dylan, cursing at him in your head, hoping you’d gained mind powers that could disintegrate him. Just because you can stand here and hug him doesn’t mean you can sit and eat dinner with him.
Mark jumps to accept, telling you two that you should also invite the other guys still in the locker room. You agree, thinking the more the merrier for your situation. You and Dylan let the other guys know and then take off. In the car, you turn to Dylan and almost shout at him.
“Dylan Duke! What the fuck?”
He smiles at you, that stupid smile. You shake your head and sigh loudly leaning back against the headrest and closing your eyes.
“I saw how you were looking at each other in there. And Mark whispered to me about your hug. I know that this is for your own good dude. At least get civil with him.”
You sigh and nod, your eyes still closed. Dylan lets out a noise of agreement, and you two drive to your chosen restaurant.
When you pull up to a restaurant on a Saturday night and ask for a table for 10, you usually are looked at like you have two heads. But in Ann Arbor, when a umich hockey player comes in and asks that, they will make it happen.
You and Dylan were the first to get there, sitting across from each other at the far end of the table. Tyler, Rutger, and Ethan arrive next, Tyler sitting at the end chair between you and Dylan, and Rut and Eth sitting next to Dylan. Adam, Luca, and Mark arrived next. You watched Mark push Adam forward to sit in the space on your right.
He smiles at you awkwardly as he sits down next to you, making sure to leave a comfortable amount of space between you. Lastly, Seamus and Mackie arrive, taking the last two seats at the table. All the guys were talking around you while you checked your phone every minute or so to try to look busy. You glance to your side and notice Adam as bored as you.
“Hey Fants.”
His head quickly turns to you, a bright smile adorning his features.
“Hi.”
“How’s Columbus? Sorry I never congratulated you, I just-”
“Hey! It’s okay, I understand, alright? But it’s nice, I’ve made a couple of new friends and stuff. It was nice already knowing people there.”
“Yeah, yeah. That’s really good Adam.”
Adam stared at you longingly as you stared at your fingers. You were messing with the rings you always wore, then realized how you were wearing your ring from Adam. You felt like you couldn’t let him see it, worried you might embarrass yourself. You covered your hand with your other, trying to make your position look as natural as possible.
When you looked back over to him and he was already staring at you, you swear your heart started pounding, even more so than already. His eyes looked sad, something so uncommon to see him feeling. He’d always been your happy boy, always bringing you up and making you better.
You would rather climb to the rooftops and scream to every Ann Arbor citizen of your everlasting love for Adam than even whisper it to him. His eyes, though, they’re like the ocean. One look and all of your senses are gone.
“I really missed you Adam.”
You didn’t look at him when you whispered it, you stared at the football game playing on the TV across the restaurant, the Bengals were winning by 14. Your hand pressed into the wood of your chair next to your thigh, running your fingers back and forth across the grain. You didn’t flinch physically when you felt his hand brush over yours, but your heart felt like it was about to implode.
“You have no idea how much I missed you.”
You finally got the courage to look into his eyes. You turn, just a little, and look at him, the raw look on his face, his glazed-over eyes, his bit at lips, your boy, he’d always been yours, always will be.
“And, you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.”
He mumbled it, not caring if you heard or not, he just knew he had to say it, if not to you then to admit it to himself, that he wanted to kiss you.
Adam watched as your eyes widened innocently, he loves everything you do. He just stared, he knew you heard him, he didn’t know what to do after that, and neither did you. You seemed to have gotten lost in the moment, forgetting about the 8 other hockey players surrounding you, who had honestly mostly just stopped really talking to each other and were mostly watching you and Adam.
In that moment, you couldn’t even hear them, you couldn’t even see them. They were blurry, muted, and muffled, but looking at Adam, it was so clear. You weren’t thinking, you were just following whatever split-second decision your heart made and grabbed his face, kissing Adam. You fucking kissed him. His hands wrapped around your wrists, kissing you back immediately. You kissed for maybe three seconds, the hustle and bustle all around coming back to you.
You pulled away from him first, if it was his choice he would’ve made out with you right there in front of everyone. You looked at him with wide eyes, and he still had his big beautiful smile. You hear an ‘oh shit’ come from Luca’s mouth, and then the rest of the guys at the table going crazy and immediately feel embarrassed. Your face burns as you quickly wipe your lips with your sleeve, burying your face in your hands as a smile reluctantly makes its way to your face.
Adam has the biggest grin on his face as he scoots his chair closer to you, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close. Adam’s hand rests on your hip, tracing shapes already like it was never gone. Like it was home after being away for far too long. You know the two of you would have a big conversation about everything later. But for right now, you just let him hold you, and you let him order for you, because he always knew what you wanted, even now.
When dinner came, Adam’s hand left your hip, but it ended up holding yours under the table like you were two fourteen-year-olds hiding from your parents. He started messing with your hand, pulling it more into his lap so he could play with it with both of his hands. He’d always done this when you were together, he would mess with your hand while he talked to others at dinners or parties or anything.
Adam was shocked when he felt it, the cool band on your ring finger. He looked down at your hand, eyes widening when he saw his ring still adorning your finger. He stared at you with so so much love in his eyes, from across the table, Luca could see how happy his baby brother was, and he was so thankful for you.
“You still have my ring on.”
You couldn’t tell if it was a question or a statement when he whispered to you. You looked down at the band on your finger, smiling sheepishly at him and blushing. You nodded slowly, not knowing how to explain it to him.
“I just really like it. And I just really like you, so.”
He laughs, nodding at you with amusement, letting out an ‘Oh yeah?’ to which you nod assuringly.
You knew he was the 1. You’d known when he had first introduced himself to you. You could tell that this new beginning to your relationship was going to last, that the time apart only made you both stronger. You’d always loved him, and always will, and if kissing him in a crowded restaurant in front of all of his stupid friends is what it takes to have him, you definitely would.
but it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 3 months
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ughhhhh vaggie in charlie's jacket feels....
now im imagining Freshly Kicked To The Curb Vaggie and painfully already-in-love Charlie
imagining Charlie wrapping this bleeding dumpster lady in her JACKET (for comfort) (and protection) (Vaggie doesn't figure out the second part until the Oh Shit You're Literally The Princess Of Hell reveal) and Vaggie's just lost a set of limbs / suddenly can't FLY which is a little terrifying so she keeps her back to the nearest wall and is always crossing her arms to hide how she's hugging herself
and Charlie's like Hmmm (wraps Vaggie in jacket) (Vaggie gives it back at the end of the day) (wraps Vaggie in jacket again) (Vaggie gives it back while saying goodnight) (Charlie finds Vaggie curled up in a corner somewhere fitully asleep-> Vaggie wakes up snuggled in The Jacket)
until Vaggie FINALLY accepts the offer to stay with Charlie for a bit while she's healing (Charlie squees) and this is represented with Vaggie NOT giving the jacket back before heading off to bed (Charlie literally whoops and combusts the moment Vaggie's (mostly) out of earshot-)
it's the start of a very sweet friendship BUT
Vaggie secretly planning to try contacting the angels during the next extermination and prove she deserves to come back
holding Charlie at arm's length during this bc
which is scarier???
A.) pretty demon lady is after her SOUL
or!
B.) Charlie having an actual crush on her????? with feelings?
feelings that Vaggie now has to worry about not hurting while trying not to be too flattered by the whole excruciating thing
(the irony of a demon saving her and tending to her and falling for her)
as she's trying not to think about all this Vaggi's getting a little panicked over how her wings still aren't growing back (sign she really isn’t worthy of heaven???)
and Charlie's trying so hard to help her with this! (even not knowing what all of THIS really is)
she knows Vaggie
1.) had wings
(moth instead of angel as per cover story)
2.) is freaking out at them being gone, even more than over her lost eye, feeling like she’s not good enough without them
(pause and imagine Vaggie constantly being found by Charlie on high up places, silently staring up at the shiny star of heaven, and Charlie’s like oh yes this is VERY moth-like behavior i can totally see why you became a moth demon! and Vaggie’s like hahaha yeah sure right definitely…)
(her being shit at lying isn't such a problem when Charlie is so so so ready to assume the best of people) (GUILT)
oooghghghhghgh
Charlie spending the year healing Vaggie's physical injuries
slowly discovering the other ones she can't see
trying to let Vaggie know she's perfect even without wings
or her missing eye
trying NOT to come on too hard or fast even through she's on the outs with her dad and her mom hasn't answered a call or been seen in years and
and Vaggie can make her LAUGH with just a dry word or roll of the eye
she just seems to like hanging out with Charlie?
not trying to get anything from her or get her kicks out of making fun of her
sure she's skeptical about the whole "redeeming sinners" thing but
she Listens
and she's skeptical because she's Taking The Idea SERIOUSLY
seriously enough to talk like it's a thing worth trying and if Charlie's gonna try it then she needs to think about this and this and this other problem first-
it's encouragement
it's friendship
it's almost like having someone to rely on
Now it��s extermination eve
And Vaggie is cleaning up the spare room she's been staying in. like she won't be coming back tonight
Vaggie's as healed (physically) as she can be, she's twirling an angelic spear around like it's part of her, crediting her dancing talent for this natural skill, clearly fine keeping herself safe on hell's streets-
Vaggie claims she found the spear behind a dumpster
(doesn't mention she's the one who stashed it there)
Charlie trying weakly to lightening the mood by joking how you can find the best things next to dumpsters sometimes
(she's not joking)
(she's looking at Vaggie when she says it)
(Vaggie just barely pretends not to notice)
Vaggie despairing she isn’t worthy (of heaven or of-?)
she might as well just wander out and let an exorcist judge her wingless back and finish the job in some ironic justice because that would be better than telling Charlie the truth,
(she's done terrible things... and has spent all this time wanting to go back to that)
(there are KIDS in hell!)
(Charlie's in hell)
(it's not all terrible or evil
and Charlie thinks sinners can be redeemed-)
(would she say the same thing about Vaggie if she knew?)
GUILT
(is all of this doubt just Vaggie being a terrible angel like Lute said...)
she has to go, but she, can’t outright lie to Charlie either (If Charlie asks if they'll see each other around-)
So Vaggie, takes off Charlie's jacket and, hands it back
And Charlie finally accepts Vaggie might not want to stick around.
Thinking Vaggie wants to go do her own thing in hell
(people leaving in one way or another is something Charlie knows about)
but maybe Vaggie also feels indebted to her, to Charlie, for the help
and might be being held back by that
It's not much- being given the chance to tell someone she's loves it's okay to go- it hurts like hell, but it's something. It's something that Vaggie didn't just vanish, and Charlie will hold onto that small thing for dear life
Smiling through her tears Charlie tries hyping her new friend up
(via song of course)
telling her ANYONE should be glad to share even a few seconds of forever with her, they
(hypothetical they totally not Charlie speaking here)
should be grateful to spend all of eternity even with just a memory of her
(CHARLIE FELL FAST AND OBVIOUS AND CANNOT EFFFING HIDE IT)
so she
says Vaggie should go spread her metaphorical wings
because she doesn't need real ones to be amazing
And that’s when Vaggie realizes-her wings- she doesn't want to leave Charlie
(is that why her wings won't grow back..?)
She doesn’t go out during the extermination. Or try talking to the angels.
She turns right around and is there to give Charlie a hug
holds her through the worst of it
goes with her afterwards to help how they can
watches Charlie reaching out to the surviving sinners even as she gets nothing but fear and insults for her trouble
sees how much Charlie CARES about the people of hell   
she finally understands, finally starts to catch a glimpse, of how just much she cares for Charlie herself
And that when she falls harder
Ka-thwump
when Charlie sees Vaggie totally not hugging herself again she offers the jacket
(offers, instead of just putting it on her)
and Vaggie smiles a little but says nah, she likes how it looks on Charlie better
(charlie VERY glad she has a natural permanent blush)
(not that her little hair twirl doesn't give her away)
Charlie leads her to a roof top later because even with everything else going on she’s noticed Vaggie’s been quieter than usual, and it is the anniversary of her losing her eye and wings, and Charlie knows staring up at heaven is something Vaggie likes doing, so-
But when she glances shyly over, Vaggie isn’t looking up at the sky.
Vaggie’s looking back at HER.
Vaggie smiling and saying something along the lines of
"lending a hand to the souls of the damned is pretty fulfilling work. A girl could get used to this"
Charlie (usually a living firework of emotion) very softly and hesitantly asking,
"yeah..?"
Vaggie promising her-
"next year, we'll prep better ahead of time"
Charlie smiling with tears again (happy ones) as they look out across pentagram city together, leaning into each other
"Yeah.
we will"
Uguugugugugughhh
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aeomianamoure · 26 days
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— emo beomgyu as your comforting bestfriend <3
warnings <3: friends to lovers kinda? (beomgyu is in love with the reader) angst ): reader has bpd n coping with a bad breakup, cursing, reader has mixed feelings about breakup, symptoms of depression basically
a/n <3: im sorry this isn’t the usual posts i make im currently coping with a breakup and i was with my fp of over two years and im in desperate need of a way to cope that doesn’t involve self destructing please enjoy!!
it’s been about eleven months since your breakup with your partner and it feels like it’s been years since
you’ve decided to try therapy, you even begged for your partner to try again but no avail
you grew helpless, and overall just very depressed
you started spending all day in your room, ignoring your friends, family and even ignoring basic human needs since as eating causing a sufficient amount of weight loss
you didn’t understand why you were still so sad about this breakup, the relationship you had with your partner was dead anyway you guys were constantly on and off and always arguing it really made no sense to you why you’re still so upset over them
you began to have mixed feelings, constantly going back to black and white thinking on your ex wondering what hurt more? hurting with them around or hurting with them gone
you felt overdramatic but this was your fp for crying out loud, your first of everything you felt like you were never gonna get over it
you always knew that it your my bpd making you feel this way bc no normal person mourns a breakup like if the person died
you were absolutely spiraling during the day you felt infinite and felt like you were over your ex and then when you were alone at night and you’re mourning your ex and sobbing hysterically trying to get them back
everyone tells you that time heals and you’ll get over it but you’re really starting to believe that that won’t ever happen
you sigh in defeat as you begin to lay on your bed for the nth day in a row planning on bed rotting until you hear a faint knock by your bay window
groaning as you sit up weakly walking to the sound, you open the window your smiling fainting at the sight of your childhood bestfriend beomgyu you move out of the way to let him in your bedroom
“you doing okay? you haven’t been answering my calls or texts” the oreo hair colored older male asked you taking in the state you’re currently in
your lip wobbles at the question as you try to fight back sobs and falling into the boys arms but you fail miserably as you cling onto your friend sobbing in the crook of his neck scaring him a bit
“are you okay y/n-“ he blinks awkwardly hugging you
you sigh again “no im not okay, im still not over them”
beomgyu looks at you in pity, “how come? they treated you so shitty and it’s almost been a year y/n”
“i know that beomgyu but it’s so hard to get over them when they were my fp” you begin to explain to the boy as he nods
“i got that but you do realize throughout your entire relationship with them you were the glue holding the relationship together right? you were there for them when they needed it the most when they were depressed and they couldn’t even do that for you” the boy goes on a rant
“i know that but maybe i just need to get over this depression phase alone”
“do you hear yourself? no one deserves to go through depression alone!” beomgyu’s heart breaks at your statement as he hugs you tighter
you smile weakly moving to sit beside him instead of on his lap, “you really think so?”
“i know so” he smiles back at you
“hey are you hungry? i hear your stomach growling” beomgyu asked you looking at how much weight you’ve lost
you shake your head making the emo boy frown at you, “well that’s okay let’s just take this step by step okay? im sorry for not checking in on you in person sooner but i’m here now as a friend a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to” beomgyu brings you into a gentle embrace rubbing his fingers through your hair in attempt to cheer you up
beomgyu felt guilty for this but he was in love with you, has been since high school but he knew the timing wasn’t right and you desperately need a friend right now
even though it hurts him that you may never be over your ex at least he can be there for you rather than not have you at all
a/n: it’s only been a day since my breakup with my partner but i hope i get over them soon bc i know our relationship has been dead for months before the final breakup :( also sorry if this one shot isn’t so good ):
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turbulentscrawl · 5 months
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Most-to-Least Protective: Survivor Guys
I had less time to write before work today, but some good inspo so I whipped up this example for the ranking requests I take! For this one I just used the ten who came to mind and who im probably most familiar with
This is meant in general terms, not just for in Matches. The primary situations I considered for this are heated arguments, physical altercations, and near-death experiences. The ranking considers their responses to these situations, as well as how strong their protective feelings are.
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MOST 🔻
Naib would do just about anything in defense of a loved one. Argue, fight, kill, anything. It’s not like he hasn’t done it all before anyway. Naib refuses to lose anyone else, it’s not even an option to him. If someone tried to make it happen anyway? He’s enraged beyond giving his usual mercy of a quick death. He’s gonna make it hurt.
Andrew is not super likely to argue on your behalf, unless you count cussing someone out as “arguing.” In which case it’s like 50/50. He’s more willing to step in physically. He doesn’t want to be a glorified meat-shield, but if your life were in danger he would 100% crack someone over the head with his shovel. He won’t intentionally kill someone for you but it may happen, depending on how that shovel lands. He won’t feel bad about it either way. He’s already an angry guy, and it’s even more intense when you’re in danger.
Kevin would initiate an argument on your behalf. Also very willing to throw hands on your behalf and doesn’t care if he gets hurt. He really doesn’t want to kill anyone, but if there’s no other choice he will. Your safety as his loved one comes before anyone else’s, even his own. Surprisingly, he becomes more level-headed and calculating as the danger to you increases. In other words, he’s at his most emotional in a verbal argument.
Norton mostly trusts you to handle your own issues, but if you’re obviously uncomfortable or intimidated he’ll place himself between you and the threat. Might get into a fight for you if it were serious, but his preferred way to handle things would be dealing petty revenge behind the scenes. (or, during a personality flip, violent revenge.) He would kill someone for you if there was no other way. His feelings are more intense than his actions normally suggest, but he’s concerned about going too far like he did in the mining accident.
William is a large, strong guy, who’s very rough in his sports but not so much outside them. He’ll gladly speak up for you if someone’s being a jerk, but he may or may not make the best arguments. He’s happy to be your shield and willing to throw a punch or two if someone else strikes first but, again, he’d rather wrap things up before getting to that point. If he had to, he’d probably kill to protect you, but it would haunt him for the rest of his life. He’s very hot-headed in regards to your safety.
If Victor is one thing, it’s brave. He’s not likely to speak on your behalf, or try to hurt someone for you, but he’s more than willing to place himself in harm’s way if it means he has even a chance of getting you out of it. He always lingers close by if there’s tension in the air so he can pull you behind him at a moment’s notice.
Luca is very likely to step into an argument on your behalf—though in his case it’s more him trying to end the argument rather than engage it. He’s willing to step into danger to guide you out of it, but not to attempt violence. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he knows he’s too weak to be helpful in that way. He’s quite calm up until your life is in immediate danger, at which point he would beg his more-capable friends to save you.
Aesop is not protective in the moment at all. He won’t step in to argue or fight for you, and isn’t very likely to step into life-threatening danger, either. His self-appointed role is healing and comforting you after the fact. And, secretly, plotting revenge. No one ever suspects Aesop as being the type to hold a grudge. But I stand by what I said in his general HCs: if we go by canon, he’s easily one of the most dangerous people in the manor.
Edgar is pretty unhelpful. Listen, listen…you’re supposed to be the tough cookie in this relationship. Edgar has venom for days; he’ll run his mouth off if you want him to, sure, but he’s not throwing himself into danger just because you can’t handle it. If you almost die…well, you’re one of the few things he cares about anymore, so the line must be drawn. If they’re within reach, the culprit ought to watch their backs for a while. And maybe not eat or drink anything they didn’t prepare themselves.
Joker is a lot like Aesop, but there’s like a 90% chance of it being without the revenge bit. He does, in fact, hold grudges, but he’s still not likely to attempt anything against someone. If they did something really horrible to you he’ll look into whatever form of public justice can be dealt to them, even if that just means trying to rally the other members of the manor into shunning them. Unlike Aesop, he’s somewhat likely to try to stop a verbal altercation, but he’s not very assertive and ends up not being much help.
LEAST 🔺
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tryingtofindava · 7 months
Text
𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄
: ̗̀➛Back to source
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Most definitely broke into your apartment with full hostile intentions of ‘putting you to sleep.’
Lmao
That didn’t happen.
When he broke in, you were so chill about it. Like- most people would be screaming n’ crying right about now.
He almost got convinced that it was a normal thing for you, murderers breaking into your apartment.
You sprayed Febreze in his eyes and he left.
Anywho, he can’t explain the exact reason why he’s became so interested in you.
You were just different.
But like, not in the ‘IM SO DIFFERENT’ way.
But don’t be too glad he let you live.
Bcs I swear this mf be following you about. Picking apart your entire being to see if you’re worth sparing. Which you were!!
You two most definitely started out with just being friends, he’s living with you rent free basically.
You fell first, he fell harder sorta thing going on.
When you two actually started dating. He was obsessed with you. Literally.
You gave him a key to your apartment so he didn’t have to use the window anymore.
That didn’t stop him. He still just uses your bedroom window.
Don’t question him about it though, he’s odd.
Won’t ever admit it, but he LOVES when you play with his hair.
Speaking of hair, if you have a pony tail in. He will 100% pull on it. GENTLY OFC!! He only tugs your hair hard when you’re sucking his-
Anywho.
He also likes scaring you out of nowhere. So be careful when you think you’re alone, you’re probably not.
He makes it very, very clear that you’re his. Tbh he thinks he has some sorta ownership over you.
His mouth scars are like, so, so infected. Every time they start to heal again he recuts them. So the chances are he probably leaves you to clean them.
This edge lord is a ass guy.
Like he slaps your ass randomly and if you even show any signs of annoyance, it makes him feel like he’s accomplished smth.
He’s got a god complex, make what you want with that information.
If he catches you staring OMD HE’LL GET SO COCKY.
“Like what you see, doll?”
You’ll never hear the end of it.
He’s not a big fan and of going out during the day he’s a nighttime type of dude, or in overly crowded or noisy places since he’s easily irritated, so dates aren’t really on the table for him.
And he’s not very normal looking… at least he’s hot.
But he’ll get you stuff! (he probably stole it.)
But it’s the thought that counts…!
He likes listening to your heartbeat. He likes knowing you are alive. (Again, don’t ask he’s odd.)
Mf loves winding you up, teasing you, random light touches. Anything to get you going really.
But he’ll get so pissy if you do the same thing to him.
His skin is CRUSTY. teach him about the wonders of moisturiser. I beg you.
He will randomly get very emotional, comfort him. Or try to if he lets you get close to him.
One time you woke up to him just staring at you. That was pretty fucking creepy.
But not surprising.
I mean, this dude literally stalks you n’ shit. To make sure you’re okay :)
You give him the affection and validation he craves. He’ll do anything to make sure that you’re alright.
He can’t lose you.
Not yet.
He’s still a serial killer, so he probably ups and leaves for a few days and when he comes back he won’t tell you shit. (Even though it’s really painfully obvious what he’s been up to.)
The relationship is probably a bitty toxic. He’s probably gaslit you AT LEAST once or twice.
He’s an obsessive sadist.
When he wants something, he’s gonna get it.
The relationship is about him. Him and his needs.
He still loves you dearly. But not like the normal person. He has his… own ways of showing his love.
If you could even call it that.
But he’s not below killing you if he has to.
✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•
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moneymartin · 18 days
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MAY I REQUEST FOR LOTTIE WITH A SKATER GF HCS
🦌-lottie with skater!gf hcs
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k this has been sitting in my inbox for like a week im sorry zzz also pulling stuff out of my ass cuz im so sleepyt
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rich girl yes, she def buys you your gear and shit
if you ask her for a new deck she will literally get it for you no hesitation even if she already got you one
even the clothes and shoes like okayyyy (all brand name clothes for skating r so expensive too omfg)
offering her some help cause she wants to learn just for you
one day before she asked for it though she came home with scratches and a few bruises here and there cause she was trying to learn while you were out of the house :(
cannot balance thats why it happened
when you do end up teaching her though she is gripping onto you so tight it feels like your shirt is gonna rip 😭 she’s terrified of falling in front of you it is literally her biggest fear
teaching her tricks is a whole new level like she cannot pop up the tail properly and always holds on to you cause she sux!
you probably get her the skate trainers so she can do them when you’re gone ☹️
idk if ppl are gonna know what i’m talking abt but having her stand on the board while you hold her hands and she jumps so you can make the board underneath spin
please tell me you guys know what i’m talking abt or i’m gonna sound fucking crazy…
when she gets what she considers good she always calls you out so you can see her do a silly lil pop shuv or a strawberry milkshake 😭
when you sucked at skating you would get hurt ALL THE TIME!!!
lots of blood thats for sure.. lottie tending to your wounds and calling you ‘stupid’ for not wearing a helmet
you tell her “it looks dumb on me” and she ends up smacking you in the area where it hurts just so you know not to do it again and wear the damn helmet no matter how dumb it looks 😒
makes up for that tho fs! kisses your little scratches and bruises while you sleep so they magically feel better in the morning
definitely gives you massages too like she is such an angel oh my god
i think if you broke her arm or leg she’d FREAK!!!
she sees your hand twisted in that weird way but you’re just sitting on the floor holding up your wrist while she’s literally sobbing and calling an ambulance 🤧
same thing with the leg me thinks… your ankle twisted or something like that
when you get your arm casted up she helps you do everything like dress and cook and all that shebang
also she writes all over the cast like she makes it hard for the other yjs to sign it cause all there is on there is her name a bunch of times and a million hearts and doodles
one space on there where the yjs have their names cramped up while lottie’s is everywhere 😕
when it heals and you start to skate again lottie makes you wear a big ass sweater with a shit ton of padding underneath
probably makes you wear big old pants too so she can pad them up as well
gets you a big dumb helmet too so you don’t get hurt
but in reality she just cares about you too much and hates seeing you in pain 🙁🙁🙁
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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year
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I think it's also about the way sweetheart touches them. She's gentle with them, which is something rare for absolutely all of them. Sweetheart doesn't assume because they're in the military that they don't need kindness and support and delicate hands. She knows they already think that they don't deserve anything like that so when she sees them wanting it and craving it, she is so willing to give. Her love cup is so full for her team and the people she cares for.
She handles ghost like he's still just Simon Riley, a sad kid deep down. Sweetheart offers up affection that she can just feel is so foreign to him. Yes he can take care of himself but everybody knows it doesn't extend beyond the basics and she takes time to try to heal his aches and pains that he's gotten so used to living with
She's delicate with price, knowing how hard he's worked to keep the team alive and well. How most of the time, he gets no recognition for his efforts. Sure, she teases him and calls him an old man when he complains about his back but in the same breath is offering a massage to get the ever present knot out
She's attentive with soap, hating how he looks like a sad puppy when people try to brush him off as a loud and brash grown up child. She wants him to hold on to that because she knows if it goes away, he'll seem like a shell of himself. She's seen what too long in the field can do to someone like johnny and how it can change them for the worst so she always encourages his jokes and such.
She helps gaz as much as she can. She sees how he pushes himself and how it sometimes ends up in neglect of himself. How many meals has he missed due to trying to just get one more thing done? How many hours of sleep has he skipped to try to figure something out? With a firm hand, she always guides him into taking care of himself and to give himself a much needed break.
IM RAMBLING IM SORRY
AAA NOOO DONT BE SORRY- DONT EVER BE SORRY FOR RAMBLING THIS IS AMAZING 💖✨️✨️💕
(I'm terribly sorry this took so long- BUT GARRICK'S IS PRETTY LONG SO ITS A WIN WIN-)
But holy cow I agree with this so much
Tw: mentions of depression, insecurities, trust issues
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I'm really gonna start with Soap because what you said is her biggest fear. She cares deeply for Mactavish and always pays a little bit more attention to him than the others because of that terror.
It would be a nightmare if she didn't see the life in his eyes anymore. Her heart was already broken when her second uncle came back a zombie from being in the army. Didn't talk to anyone, and if he did he would always snap at them. He loved his family still. He really did. But the happiness, and the compassion was gone. He couldn't let go of the guilt, of the regret he had in his choices. He didn't really talk about it, but when he did Sweetheart could see the black tar oozing out of his mouth. All the internal pain and suffering. She doesn't want to see Soap be like that, since their personalities are quite similar. Fun, chipper, determined and kind. She will protect his internal being with everything she has, just like she did with her uncle. So she will always laugh at his jokes and add on to them, making them both double over. She will always stand up for him when someone calls him loud and brash. Telling him it's okay to express yourself how you want to.
If she fails, if she even sees the shine leave his eyes for a second, she knows she failed her uncle again and will never be the same.
--
Now with Ghost-- GOOAAHHHHDDDD he needs all the hugs and cheek kisses he can get (and really just hugs) he doesn't like to be touched unless he knows you knows you (kinda like König and Roach) it took Sweetheart a WHILEE to get close to Ghost. Yes, he did have a small soft spot for her, but he would NOT let her touch him. It took like five months just to let her touch his shoulder. Because of his insane trust issues and paranoia, he didn't let her get close. He couldn't. He couldn't risk getting hurt from Sweetheart. Kind, charming, thoughtful, Sweetheart. Caring, strong, smart, Sweetheart. He craved for her touch so badly that he knew it was what he needed, but he couldn't handle the pain afterward. But there was no pain when she first hugged him when he came out of that explosion alive. There was no pain when she held his hand through his panic attack. There was just warmth. And love. Through every touch she gave him, it spoke of love and care. She gave him time. She gave him so much patience so he could trust her. So he could love her. And he does.
Price-- that man deserves a hundred medals I swear. As you said, he gets no recognition of his effort from anyone, because that's what he's supposed to do. He's supposed to get everyone out alive, he's supposed to succeed everytime. It's just built in the job with that expectation. But Sweetheart knows in order to keep that kind of task going, he needs support. And my god, does she give it to him. Always patting him on the back and saying good job. Checking for any injuries, and if there are, she would fix them. Listening to anything he's talking about and giving her opinions on it. Giving him some tea and something to eat if he's up late. And just giving him any form of affirmation. He deserves it. He deserves all the support, the back rubs, the massages and the teasing, the tea and the naps, all of it. And Price is so grateful for it. If she wasn't there for him, no one would be.
Kyle. Gaz. Garrick. Goodness, that boy has put so many expectations on himself that NO ONE ELSE has put on him. It's weighing him down. Since he's the youngest and has less experience than everyone else, he thinks that he has to catch up to everyone else or be better than them in order for people to see him. See him being one of the members of Task Force 141. The best of the best, right? Like Sweetheart? How she carries herself through chaos, how she handles dire situations, how well she works with others, how physically, mentally, and emotionally strong she is? Can he be skilled like Sweetheart? Calm and collected like Ghost? Well-armed like Soap? He doesn't know. His insecurities are always getting the best of him, making him forget to brush his teeth. Or eat breakfast. Or even get out of bed. Is he even fit to be on this team? Sweetheart knocks on his door. Is he even worthy? She knocks again. He has so much to catch up on. She opens his door. How will he catch up to them? She sighs, walking towards his curled up figure on his bed. He's in their shadow. Maybe he should leave. Sweetheart comes into his view, shocking him. She has a slight concerning face, but more anger than anything. Angry that he hasn't been taking care of himself. Concerned on why he hasn't been taking care of himself. She grabs his hand and brings it to her lips, closing her eyes. His entire body feels warm. Awake. She breathes in and opens her eyes back up. She urges him to get up. Get up and take a shower. His brain says no, but his body is moving subconsciously. She waits outside the Men's Bath Unit until he's done. She waits for him, quite closely, when he's brushing his teeth; Sweetheart tells him not to forget to brush his molars. She waits for him when he dresses himself in clean clothes, still in the same room as him, just turned. She waits for him to finish eating a big breakfast, which he eats fully. All with silence. All with a neutral face. Yet her actions are firm. Caring. Helpful. She sits him down on his now cleaned bed, the help of Sweetheart, and they just... talk. Talk about what's been going on, talk about why he feels this way, and when. It helps. She's giving her opinions on what he can do to be better, but it's up to him to take them. She sighs, eyes studying him. 'I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries with you. But I couldn't sit aside and let you make yourself disappear. Especially when you're valued as a teammate and a friend.' She says. Gaz feels like crying. And he does. He hugs so tightly. Tight enough that she could feel his appreciation through his touch. He's thankful that she saw him. And she continues to see him.
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