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jqhotchner · 4 months

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quest

seven

warning: mentions of sexual relationships

when you parked your car at the coffee shop emily told you to meet aaron your heart pounded. you had no idea what was coming. all you knew was he was upset.

he had every right to be. you kept his kids from him. you didn’t even let him explain what emily saw. come to think of it, you didn’t even let emily explain.

as soon as you heard her utter the words ‘i saw hotch and haley in his office’ you ended the call. you couldn’t hear anymore. but knowing what you do now, you felt you deserved everything coming to you.

spotting aaron sitting at a table you take a deep breath and head inside. you sit right across from him and give him a small smile.

aaron hands you a cup. “decaf still, right?”

you hum as you take a sip. “thank you.”

the two of you sat in silence for a minute. it felt longer though. you missed him. everything about aaron you missed. you missed the way he smelled, his beautiful smile, the way he made you laugh, the way he listened. you missed his touch.

his touch,

god did you miss the way aaron touched you. rather it would be as simple as holding your hand or the way he would hold you when you fucked.

aaron could be a gentle lover. he would whisper sweet nothings in your ear as he made love to you. tell you how beautiful you were and how good you were to him.

but he was also rough! if he got a little jealous or you two argued about something so minor, he’d fuck you like you meant absolutely nothing to him! and you loved it.

you tried not to think too much about it, but you noticed he has been working out. his muscles were bulging more than before.

you also noticed he still wore his wedding band. something you felt a sense of pride in. despite being divorced he still showed everyone he was taken. even if it weren’t true.

you did same. you loved aaron. knowing you could never move on from the man that gave you the best years of your life and the three, four babies you adored! nothing would ever change that. if wearing the ring meant you would never be with anyone else again, you were okay with that.

“should we start?”

you didn’t know what to say. just humming as he cleared his throat.

“i made a promise to you i would love you unconditionally. i married you because i meant every single word. and i would never intentionally hurt the woman i love. i broke that vow by have an emotional affair with my ex wife. i hugged her for too long, held her hand, kissed her cheek, even cuddled her from time to time. but i never went as far as sleeping with her. and i wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted to divorce me after knowing the truth. instead you left. part of me kinda happy you did. foyet was after me and my family. it’s one of the reasons why haley and i reconnected. i needed him to see he could never break this family up. fortunately he didn’t know about you,”

“what do you mean?”

“i made sure the team kept you hidden from the moment we met. i didn’t need anyone to know i had remarried. if i could go back i would have done the same with haley.”

you wanted to hold his hand. you knew he was still grieving. haley was his first everything. completely losing her destroyed him. on top of losing you all in the span of a few months apart. he went through hell for the longest.

“after foyet died i tried finding you. i even tried to get penelope to trace you. she declined. i was very pissed i almost fired her. but she wanted to protect you. i couldn’t be mad at that,”

“aaron, im sorry. i—i thought with me out of the picture you’d be better off. i wanted you to be happy. i knew it would have been a hard decision if i stayed. i didn’t want you to choose me because i was pregnant. i wanted you to choose me because you loved me.”

“they’re my kids too yn! mine! you left knowing this. knowing that you were carrying our babies. i didn’t get to be there for them. i didn’t get to hold you hand while you gave birth, wake up all hours of the morning to feed them or change them, watch them start to crawl, watch them walk for the first time, i miss two birthdays yn!! two. you made that decision for me. you made the decision to leave and take our children with you. i—knowing this, finding this out from jj, i didn’t know how to feel.”

you turned your head guilty. you couldn’t look him in the eyes. you knew as soon as you did the tears would just come pouring out.

the two of you stayed silent for awhile. aaron clears his throat before speaking.

“i promised jack i would bring you home. please don’t break his heart again.” aaron states. he leaves money on the table before leaving you alone with your thoughts.

when you arrived at your sister house you sigh. all you wanted to do was hug your babies. you missed them and needed a little comfort right now.

the moment you saw them playing with their cousins you smiled. they were the cutest. you always wanted them to know their older cousins.

“mamma!” izzy was the first to spot you. she waddles her way towards you.

“izzy!” you copied her.

“miss mamma.” she smiles at you.

“miss you too baby. you and your siblings.”

“up, mummy!” aurora raises her arms.

you gently pick her up. you missed when you use to be able to carry all three of them at the same time. now they were bigger and a lot heavier. you could only pick them up in twos.

you kiss aurora’s cheek as you son walks over to you. he pulls on your shirt. you bend down to his level and set your other two babies down.

“hows my shy boy?”

he shrugs his shoulders. you frown. you really wished he was a little more outgoing. but you couldn’t blame him. you were just as shy growing up. you still are.

you kiss theo’s cheek gently. “mama missed all three of her babies.” you hug your kids tightly. not too tight to smoosh them. but enough.

“mama! you being silly.” isabella laughs.

“oh, am i?!” you start to tickle them. she giggles uncontrollably. you laugh before kissing them on the forehead.

“why don’t you go play with your cousins while i talk to your aunt, okay?”

your three mini me’s walk over to their cousins as you walk towards your sister.

“so, how’d you go?”

you sigh. “as good as it could. he wants me to move back home.”

“you have a life here though. he can’t expect you to pack your bags and move three two year olds!”

“i don’t know abby. i did take two years away from him and the triplets. plus i have a son back home who misses me.”

“well are you two gonna at least work your shit out? because if not then what?”

you shrug. “i gotta at least try, yeah? you didn’t see abby! we both still have our wedding bands on. legally we’re divorced but mentally and emotionally we’re still married. i have to fight for my marriage.”

“i understand little sister. i just worry. with everything that just happened i don’t want you to spiral. plus, i just got you back. i don’t want you to leave.” abigale pouts.

“i know. but ill be back to visit!”

“promise?”

“swear it.”

you two continue to talk. catching up on everything you missed before you headed out to figure out your move.

aaron had came by the next morning to help you pack and to meet the kids for the first time. he was nervous and excited all in one.

he knew what it was like to raise one child for nine years. now he was transitioning from one to four. he still couldn’t believe it.

he was a father of four. four beautiful kids who he adored. he already loved his babies. he couldn’t wait to raise them with you. and hopefully work your shit out to have more in the future.

when he arrived you weren’t shocked at all he had went shopping. he spoiled jack so much you just knew he’d spoil your other three.

“hi.”

“hey. come in! the kids are in their pen.” you opened the door wider to allow him inside. aaron smiles as he walks to the living room.

he got a bit of a glimpse of them the other day. seeing them face to face like this made him gasped. all three, beautiful as ever. you two made the cutest little babies.

“izzy, theo, roe! id like you to meet someone.” the three of them look up at their mom and sees a tall man. they had no idea who he was but he looked friendly.

“who’s that mamma?” izzy was the first to ask.

“remember how i told you daddy was off being a super hero and catching the bad guys? how he’d be back to take us home? well, he’s back. and he’s right there.”

“papa?” theo questioned.

aaron bends down. “that’s right! im your dad little buddy.”

“daddy!” izzy walked over to aaron and hugs him. aaron chuckled as he holds his daughter.

“love daddy.” aurora states.

aaron wanted to shed tears in that moment. but he held himself together and hugged all three of his kids as they walk over to him.

“goin home to brudder?” theodore asked.

“yeah. going home to brother.”

slow burn but not too slow because i don’t have the time for the shit! i want them together!!!!!

but how did you guys like this part? i think it’s cute! had to put the babies in there. they’re adorable

peep aaron already planning to have more kids with the reader!!

if you wanna be added or unadded to the taglist please let me know

taglist:

@ivebeenthearchersstuff @shergoretzxx @slut4ethan @rosiehale23 @madesavage05 @whotfskai

#aaron hotchner x black!reader #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch #hotchner x reader #hotch x you

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st4rgzer · 6 months

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ORANGE JUICE matt sturniolo

summary: y/n comes back after a few tough months (very much recommend listening to orange juice by noah kahan before reading)

genre: fluff and angst

cw: big TW for recovering and becoming sober :)

a/n: again, theres more info in the songs if this doesn’t make much sense but yeah, hope y’all like it<3, will do more song rec fics, i love them

The triplets called me today, they heard I was better and they were hanging out with Nate and some other friends, so I decided to tag along.

It’s been 6 months on the dot since I got sober, I think they know about it. I’ve kind off disappeared from the face of the earth, changing myself, and I wasn’t sure if some people would approve.

I knock on the door and I’m greeted by Nick immediately, he engulfs me in a hug that lasts about a minute

“nick I missed you too but I think that’s enough” I laughed, trying to unwrap his arms, he eventually does it himself.

“yeah stop hogging her!” Chris says before wrapping his arms around me in yet another never ending hug. After a bit, Im left standing in front of Matt, he’s different, he’s grown a little bit of a beard, barely a beard, more like a stubble, a smile creeps up on my face, a familiar one, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“you look great” he smiles at me, coming closer and embracing me in my third hug in the span of 5 minutes, I linger there for a little longer, he sighs and rests his head on the crook of my neck, his words tickle. “I’ve missed you, a lot” I giggle a bit as the stubble brushed against me jawline. I break from the hug as soon as I remember Nick, Chris, and Nate are waiting on us. “I missed you too” I whispered before Nick began ranting on about the things I’ve missed.

“And we’ve been on tour! And we’re going again soon” he explains as the end of his Ted talk comes to an end.

“wow! Thats great, im so happy for you guys” I can’t help but have a huge smile on my face, looking at the three and realizing how much they’ve grown without me, and the fact they’ve waited for me and they’re not mad at me for leaving, no questions asked.

“What have you been up to?” Matt asks with a quiet voice “if you don’t mind us asking” he quickly reassures me I don’t have to say anything I’m not comfortable with.

“Well, I’ve been getting help, doing better now” I leave it there, not wanting to give any more information than I needed to, not right now at least.

“That’s amazing, we’re proud of you” Matt places a hand on mine for comfort, everyone nods agreeing.

“Wanna help me with the snacks?” Matt breaks the silence, I nod and he leads me to the kitchen, it hasn’t changed a bit since I got here, there’s just more stuff, it’s more lived in, I like it.

I open the fridge and see a row of beers at the bottom, probably for when friends come over, my body goes tense and the sounds around me become muffled, I snap out of it when Matt pats on my shoulder.

“Hey, you alright?” He ask’s concerned, I know he’s trying to keep a calm expression but I can tell he’s worried.

“Yeah I’m fine just- got caught up for a second” I utter out with a sigh, I don’t notice my hand trembling till he grabs it.

“Theres orange juice here, I know it’s your favorite” he says softly, rubbing the palm of my hand, making sure I looked at him in the eyes so I wouldn’t get distracted with something else.

“Yeah? Thanks, I’ll get it then” I smile at him, he kissed the tips of my fingers gently

“Anything you need ok? Count on me, please” he begged, looking at me with sincerity, no games.

I nodded and the corners of my mouth turned upwards as it hit me that I was with him again, after such a long time, for me at least. I then grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a cup, Matt glancing at me with a smile on his face as I did so.

Our hearts have changed, our faces have changed, but we’ll always find our way back to each other, no matter the changes we succumb to, and I’ll always hold that in my heart.

taglist: @iha8you @dwntwn-strnlo @slaysturniolo @stvrni0lo @strniolo @gabbylovesreading @sturn3g1rl @ifilwtmfc

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo image #matt sturniolo fluff

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 12 days

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AITA for leaving my friend groups Discord server?

💐💐💐 So I can find this later. For context, I was in 2 servers that were friend groups, where my friends would all interact with each other, play & stream games, etc. However, recently we had a situation where someone, let's call her Sasha, would send many vent messages in the general channel, then delete said message before we could respond or even look at the messages, & get mad at us for not responding. She'd also complain about everything that happened in her life, school, in games, & she'd always repeat the same things, over & over again. In the end, we got tired of how she was forcing everyone to stop being as active in the server because of her behavior & actions, so we all made another server, without Sasha, so we could interact with peace without her interrupting conversations. This all happened 3-4 months ago. Then 3 of the people in our new server got a game on Roblox, Deepwoken. Another person, let's call him Kevin, already had the game for a while, so they all got the game & started playing all together. They were incredibly passionate about it, it would be the only thing talked about. One of them got me the currency to get Deepwoken, so I could play with them all. A while later, I got a hang of the game, then when I asked if any of them could play with me, one of them, let's call him Tim, would keep telling me that "Oh, you have to play the game alone to get the real experience, & to learn things better." every time I would ask. Sometimes, rarely, they'd answer some questions I had about the game that I didn't quite grasp yet, & a lot of the time i'd just, not receive any answer. After a while, I got tired of how they didn't respond to me at all, so I just stopped playing. Keep in mind, I don't have any other friends that have the game, so I didn't have anyone else to talk to about it. I love my friends but I felt ignored & was hurt, so I passed ownership to another friend of mine, & left. About a day after leaving, I ended up feeling extremely depressed & overwhelmed with schoolwork, eye appointments, a random limb & joint pain that I had no idea why I was having, & I accidentally unfriended Tim. With my being extremely overwhelmed, thinking it was a good idea at the time, I sent him a message saying "accidentally unfriended u mb. u could also not accep, that works too" Then another message after that one, "okay well um, im gonna assume that you arent going to accept it again so thank you for all youve done for me before you say that im making it sound like i gave up; i have given up i gave up a little while ago" After that, I got a message from him saying that I needed to calm down, that my friend request wasn't the most important thing in his mind right now, & that he's allowed to put it on hold for at least a day before I start telling him some "nvm shit". I sincerely apologized & told him that I needed to take a break, that I hope he's doing okay, & that I hope college goes well for him. I did indeed, take a break, for only 2 weeks because I felt extremely guilty, stupid & reckless. Those weeks felt like forever because that whole thing was on my mind 24/7. It was eating me alive. & No, I am not saying to gain pity. Just trying to explain what I felt. Tim answered, told me that I should grow & change as a person, & that he doesn't mean it in a condescending way, that the server was meant to be a safe space, that in order to make everyone comfortable, there's some things we need to just not say or some things we need to think about a lot before saying them. It's the reason Sasha got booted, & that we give as much as we get. I'm reading back on his messages, & I didn't say anything in the server to make everyone uncomfortable. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main · 2 years

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Being Frank Castle's Daughter in Hawkins Pt 7

Gif Caption: Top Gif: Matt Murdock from Marvel's Daredevil Bottom Gif: Will Byers from Netflix's Stranger Things

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Reader: 17-18 age range | Female

Characters mentioned: Frank Castle (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU), Karen Page (MCU), Peter Parker (MCU), Curt Hoyle (MCU) Dinah Madani (MCU), Steve Harrington (ST), Joyce Byers (ST), Will Byers (ST), Jonathan Byers (Breifly, ST) Jim Hopper (ST)

A/n: with a heavy heart I say Billy Hargrove was not talked about today :(

Warnings: none? Surprisingly. But shits about to get real next part 😈

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So you introduced Steve to the group

He was terrified to meet Matt

And stuck his hand out introducing himself

"Did he stick his hand out?" Matt asked.

"Yeah." Y/n spoke as Matt laughed, "Your hand gonna have to fine mine, Mr.Harrington. I'm blind."

Oh s h i t

Steve already feels that he fucked up as They shake hands

"You're the one Y/n writes about." Matt smiled, "nice to meet you. Though her brail could use some work."

"Haha." Y/n laugh sarcastically.

"Seems it's hard for her to swallow." Matt spoke leaning into Steve, "means it's true."

Y/n rolled her eyes as Steve laughed shortly.

You introduce him to everyone else as well

He fears Karen.

Mostly because she was talking about Pistols and calibers with Frank before Y/n introduced him.

Karen's happy to meet him, but he's still terrified.

You guys like your weapons

Gun background made sense with Frank being in the service

totally wasn't because of all the Punisher and Daredevil stuff

That I might add has been kept a secret besides Billy and Max

props to them for keeping silent too

Anyways so now you Peter and Steve are playing with Legos in the living room on the floor while you make small discussion with Matt and Madani

"Lego Steve." Y/n smiled handing Steve the little Lego man.

He chuckled, "Lego Steve indeed. Love the hair."

Y/n smiled, "I bet you do."

Not peter gagging in the background

"Oh yeah parker?"

"Yeah- Lets go!"

"Alright let's go!"

One intense game of rock paper sisscors later and him winning and you "dead on the floor"

"As a win. Im taking that last muffin"

"Oh like hell you are!"

Pushing each other for the last Muffin as you both pull each other down constantly.

"Come here Mr.Harrington." Matt spoke, "Lets speak outside?"

"Uh. Sure." Steve spoke standing up, "Do you-"

"Need help? No." Matt smiled, "I've mapped out the house by now by wall. Glad there aren't stairs inside."

Steve followed Matt who felt along the wall till they were outside.

"Matt, Don't scare the kid." Karen spoke.

"It'll just be a little." Matt explained as he walked out the door.

"If he cant survive Matts talk he's sure not surving Franks." Madani pointed out, Frank sliding her a glass of water.

"We'll think of you foundly." Curt spoke taking a drink of his own water, "and often."

Steve gulped as he walked out the door, it closing behind him.

"Mr.Murdock-"

"Matts fine." He spoke.

"R.right." Steve agreed, "Steve will be fine then."

"Very well then." Matt told, sitting down on the small patio bench, "sit. Sit."

Steve took the seat next to him, "You're very special to Y/n, do you know that?"

"I'd very much hope so sir." Steve spoke, "She means much to me."

Matt smiled in Steve's general direction.

"You've been in her room."

"What!?" Steve spoke, "No. No!-"

"Your hair product has a very...recognizable scent," Matt answered with honesty, "You and one other guy,"

"Oh. Him?" Steve asked, "Y/n said Thor was over- you know, friends with an Avenger, just common New York...stuff..."

Matt nodded, he could sense the shift in Steve's mood: "That makes you jealous."

"What!?" Steve spoke, "Pfft, no...Okay a little- Y/n said you were smart."

Matt chuckled, "lets just say the whole think about being Blind and your other senses heightening is true."

Steve smiled in response, not that Matt could see.

"Anyhow." Matt starts, "I'm not asking you to taks care of her, or provide for her. Im asking you to be there maybe you can't physically because somethings come up with family, or your locked away, what ever it be I ask you to be there for her mentally, for her worst and her best."

"I'd love to be there for her. In anyway I can." Steve spilled out, "as cliché as it sounds I'd do anything for her."

Matt smiles once again: "good. Because My Y/n's been through quiet a bit. She's a good kid, she has a big heart."

"And Im very glad I get to see that side of her." Steve told.

"Good."

Dad talk from Matt? Slightly terrifying

But it makes sense, with how close they are

So Steve's determined to impress him.

Along with everyone else who came to visit

Him and Matt make small talk on the porch, Matt wants to know this guys

He also jokes about not getting him and Y/n in trouble, for you know sneaking into Y/n's room?

Yeah lets hope Frank doesnt know about that

Sooner or later though, you're outside whining to both them to come back in

"Aw. Did I take your boyfriend away for too long?" Matt teased but Y/n was silent, a flustered expression held on her face, Steve hadnt expilcitly asked to be her boyfriend.

"Uh...just...lunch. if you want any..."

You brought them inside where everyone was having lunch.

Except Steve pulled you outside

"You okay?" He asked, "You looked nervous."

"Yeah. Yeah." Y/n spoke.

"Hey." He stopped her, "you can tell me."

Y/n was silent for a moment "...My...Boyfriend."

"Yeah." Steve smiled small, "do you like that? I..certainly don't mind it at all. Comin' from you and all... I suppose I should have asked you to be my girlfriend before I kissed you...all those times...Officially and all. So. What do you say? Me and you? You and I?"

Y/n chuckled, "Yeah. Yeah I would enjoy that. Alot..."

Steve's smile grew, "Well then. We kiss you know. Make it completely offical."

You could only laugh and kiss him.

Thank god for blinds or Frank probably would of pulled you apart

But soon you two both go back inside and you all eat lunch together

You Peter and Steve basically squared off the end of the table as a kids table.

Then the phone rings

And Frank stays on the phone

"Y/n." Matt leaned over, "listen. See who's on the phone. Call it seeing how far your skills have come."

Y/n nodded looking down at her plate in silence and closing her eyes.

"What is she-"

Matt lifted a finger to his lips the small group of boys going quiet as they watched Y/n.

"Its Joyce Byers." Y/n responded opening her eyes and eating her food again and taking a drink of water.

"Joyce Byers?" Steve asked, "Johnathan's mom?"

"Who's Joycer Byers?" Peter asked.

"Wait Johnathan? The guy I sit with at Lunch?"

"You sit with him at lunch?" Steve argued.

"Yeah whats wrong with that?" Y/n asked.

"Just uh." Steve spoke, "Rather you sit with me. Ya know?"

"Who's Joyce Byers?" Peter asked, "I litterally have no idea who Joyce Byers is."

"It's Frank's friend." Y/n spoke louder catching the others attention.

"Castle? With Friends?" Madani spoke, "Not possible."

"Yep. She stayed over and everything." Y/n added.

"Y/n I swear-"

"He was even nice enough to-"

"Im throwing you in the lake."

"Like you could catch me- OH SHIT"

So lunch is actually spent with you two running around.

He ends up catching you as they all watch from the Back porch.

"Okay! Okay Uncle!" Y/n pleaded.

"Nope."

"What!? Come on! I said I Uncle!"

So now your being thrown in the lake.

Peter goes to get you a towel

Just for you to drag him in and act like Peter got the upper hand

Steve will save you! He'll be your knight and shining armour

Just for him to be pulled into the lake.

"Alright fuck it." Madani spoke pulling off her shoes as she walks towards the lake.

"Yeah Im comin." Curt spoke pulling his coat off.

"Wait for me." Karen added.

Cue heart to heart with your two dads

Matts so happy to see you enjoying a normal life and so is Frank

But deep down Frank knows you miss New York

And Matt tells him you'll never stop missing New York its just something you'll always have in your heart

Apparently you guys were all having a water and mud fights for such a long time that Joyce even got off work to come over and say Hi as Frank had recommended.

Joyce gets to meet Matt. And her sons with her, had to pick him up from a friends

Will's a quiet one who rather much just wave silently and is more intrested in watching you pick up a "grown" man aka steve and easily toss him over your shoulder into the lake

And then wreslting to stay above Curt while Peter comes up behind you

"Dad! Dad!"

"Y/n. No- Y/N NO!l"

Now your chasing Frank around covered in mud and lake water.

You manage to jump on his back hugging him.

"Ah! Alright Alright!" He laughed Y/n smiling as she laughed as she hugged him he holding the back of her knees as he brought her back to the back.

"Means I can do this-"

"No! No! No!"

It was too late he had rushed and thrown her back into the lake.

It was a good day and you all went out for Pizza near the hotel the group was staying at.

Thats where you got to talk to Joyce and Will more.

Will was alot more open to you

He thinks your "werid" like him, in a good way of course

You just understand him more than his own friends does he feels like

And talking about how you like dressing up for Halloween

Not no witch either or black cat

Actual "nerd" coustumes

"You should go trick or treating with us." Will suggested.

"Oh. Sorry bud. Im going with the wheeler kid-"

"Mike?"

"Yeah, you know them?"

"There my friends!" He cheered.

"Really?" Y/n asked, "Thats cool! I'd love to go with you all together then."

"Have you ever played D&D?"

"No. What is it?"

"Duegons and Dragons?"

"Im up for anything if it has a good dragon in it." Y/n answered.

You're offically Will's best friend

Well Female Older Teen Best Friend

We all know you cant replace Mike

So you two talk back and forth, he's telling you about Ghost Busters and D&D and your talking about New York and Heros

You actually show him your shoes they've wore out but the faint paint of the Punisher's Skulls covers your soles.

He thinks there super cool and says hes somewhat of an artist himself

Then you guys play tik tac toe on a napkin

Joyce is glad he gets along with you

Apparently Will doesnt get along with a lot of people

He told you they call him Zombie boy

You use it as a compliment to try and make him laugh

"Oh! Dead Im dead!" Y/n spoke theratically then slumped back in her chair, "Surpise! I've come back for my sweet revenge!! Raaa!"

He laughs and you tell him you have his back, after all you tell him you were bullied as well and look how badass you are

You also tell him you've got his back if he ever needs it

You werent expecting The Sinclairs to be there

So when Lucas came running up to Will happily from the little arcade section you were introduced

He was a sweet boy and was almost unbelieving that girls could be nerds

So he was happy another nerd was joining the party

Yet he didnt know about you Joining D&D that has to be a group decision

Whatever that means

But its a small town

So here comes Cheif Hopper

"Tension..." Karen mummbled to Y/n.

"Yeah no kidding." Y/n answered eating a cheese twist.

So you watched as Hopper tried to Size Frank up

But it didnt work much as you know

Frank just stood up to shake his hand and well the tension got worse

Luckily the tension Hoppers giving off gives you the ability to just burry youself in your milkshake

Because remember you totally didnt get pulled over by him with a whole bunch of aliens in your car

"Lets get out of here and too the arcade." Y/n whispered to will, "I got a 5 we can turn into quaters."

Will nodded quickly as the two got up, Y/n kissing Steve on the cheek beforr rushing off with Will to escape the akwardness

On the few machine's they had you won him a little stuff animal, the one you clip on your bags

You didnt expect him to like it as much as he did.

He beat you in street fighter 3-1.

Your pride is in shambles but oh well, you made a kid happy

Both unfortunately and fortunately enough, everyones gotta go there seperate ways

You all say your goodbyes and you promise you'll Call Matt tommrow maybe you both can do something he can meet another on of your friends

After all you had to go see if someone followed through and that threat you made *cough* neil *cough* and see that he was in jail

Your glad things are starting to finall Mellow out for you

You have a nice boyfriend, your dad has a great girlfriend and she has a sweet kid with an old soul , you're families here, You protected your best friend and his sister

What could go wrong?

Well. Alot actually

Previous Part - Next Part

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Tag List ( IT KEEPS GROWING IM GONNA EXPLODE MY GUY) : @raelwrites @miiikkeey @beebslebobs @ah-witch @supernaturallover2002 @pearlstiare @simonsbluee @stilllivindue2spite @lvbred @dancingqueen21 @writerdream22 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @knivqs @xxlaynaxx @3-spurr

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texasbama · 21 days

Note

Hiya I know you're a safe space and I need to get this out, so sorry in advance 🙃.

I see how amazing canon bi buck is for the queer community and I don't mind how it happened in canon. But while I should be happy, I actually kind of feel like I'm mourning? I'm so attached to eddie, maybe unhealthily so, and the ensemble found family dynamic is what first brought me to the show. For a while it's been a struggle having the fandom basically shove buck into every spec or storyline and act like he is a perfect angel and the centre of the universe. But there was always the eddiezers and it was more balanced. But now literally EVERYBODY is all about buck and tommy. It feels like the rest of the show doesn't even exist. I know its only been a couple of days but going on social media now just makes me anxious and idk why really. I'm worried about future eddie storylines, I'm desperate for marisol to disappear, but the vibe is that now buck is bi nothing else matters, we've won apparently, who even cares about eddie or the other characters because buck kissed a man.

Also I'm sex-repulsed ace and people saying how if you don't like it you're a purist and an evangelical and homophobic and biphobic actually makes me feel like shit. I never really understood wanting two characters to have sex 'because why not', because I don't understand why anyone wants to ever lol. I can only read buddie smut in very specific scenarios and most of the time i skip even that. And the rhetoric in a lot of tumblr space recently makes me feel like a bad person for not being all for it 100%. I don't think I've explained myself well here but I tried. You don't have to reply or post this either, I just wanted to reach out to someone in fandom who won't jump down my throat for it 😅. 911 is kind of a hyperfixation of mine so even though I'm trying to stay away as much as possible so as to not make myself more upset but I have no idea what to do with myself otherwise 🫠. Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading on you

Please don’t apologize, im happy you felt like I was a safe space. Im gonna break this into two parts and I hope I can articulate myself correctly lol

1) the first few days after an episode, any episode but especially one like this, isn’t indicative of fandom as a whole. Emotions are heightened due to what happened in the episode. Everyone is screaming about something and it’s in your face ya know? This week something HUGE happened, so yes people are talking about it. It was to be expected. We must make space for people to be happy about it. It’s a beautiful thing and queer joy MUST be celebrated.

This show (for the most part) has done a beautiful job of giving each character their time to shine(some more so than others but thats a conversation for a different day). Coming off 7x04, yes the headline is Bi Buck. And it will continue to be for a while, but it’s important to remember that YOU curate your fandom experience. I don’t blame you at all for what you’re feeling, ESPECIALLY as an Eddie girlie(gn), like I get it! Trust me! I’ve had to carefully maneuver through some emotions this week myself. I’m human! But filtering and being able to step away is everything.

Being excited about the storyline and also hoping and wanting more from other storylines are two things that can be true at the same time. It’s not one or the other. Remember that.

2) im going to say this and just know the caps is because I am just passionate. I promise you, its yelling at you with love okay?

I know it is easier said than done, but don’t you EVER allow ANYONE on this fucking hellsite make you feel less than or that your asexuality is anything but 100% valid. YOU are valid, you hear me?

Okay. I had to make sure to say that first. Whew. Now. As for the fandom piece of it all, we have to remember that there levels to it. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about sex, BUT it’s also important to remember that sex positivity (and those who express it) is also a good and valid. If you feel like there are blogs that talk down to you, imply that YOU are homophobic or biphobic simply because YOU are not doing cartwheels about different sex acts, then block. Unfollow. Do whatever you need to. Those people are scum.

Listen to me *pulls you close*, this is always a safe space. You are a valid, your existence and experiences are valid. And anyone who makes you question that can fuck right off. And lastly, HAPPY ASEXUALITY DAY TO YOU SPECIFICALLY! MUAH! 💜🤍🩶🖤

#this got REALLY long and I am sorry for that lmfaoooo #911 asks

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gals4ever · 28 days

Text

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know how long I’m going to leave for, may be for a few hours to a few weeks, but I just wanted to share with you guys what I’ve been going through because I know you’ll listen.

I might not ever post on here again because im gonna be honest, I only made this account to talk to someone I trusted. That OBVIOUSLY didn’t work out, and it’s okay for things to not work out sometimes, but I can’t bring myself to come back here and look at their account or the messages they once sent me because they’re so different than the ones I just saw now. I am extremely hurt by everyone involved for the things they said about me, and im gonna be honest, I still don’t understand how anything I said was wrong. “She needs to kill herself now!” And they said nothing. The person that I’ve told everything about my life to, went to great lengths just to make sure they had a way to talk to people, and showed my most vulnerable side to, said nothing. I didn’t even know they were showing what I was saying, “she’s still yappin” which is crazy to say about when im showing you how I feel. When we talked in the supposed relationship I was in, I made it my biggest priority to let them know that they could tell me how they felt, and I gave them so many outs before I got attached. I have major abandonment issues and bpd, and I know that’s not their fault or something they should worry about, but it explains why I became so attached and quick to panic when they expressed the thought of leaving me. I don’t even care anymore about them not loving me, it’s just the things that they said about me and let others say. I know they don’t owe me jack shit, but i genuinely trusted them with how i felt and that sensitive and vulnerable side of me i try to keep to myself. I haven’t felt like this in almost four years, and maybe that’s why I started to freak out? It seems like everyone’s forgetting that I warn everyone before they get close to me, BECAUSE I AM A DAMAGED INDIVIDUAL. I am in the recovery process from being physically abused, and sexually used for things that I didn’t even want to do. Worst part is? The people that were saying bad things about me were saying all these kinds of accusations that they can’t even back up.

Like what the hell? You’re saying you have ‘screen recordings of me’ doing what? You say you have so many messages from a lot of people about me, but I never talk to anyone other than the person I trusted and one other friend? This isn’t to bash the person that left me, Im not like that and I have expressed that id like to stay on good terms, it’s to bash the people that said all those awful things about me. I would’ve never known if a friend of mine didn’t show me the screenshots, and if im being honest, I didn’t even want to see them. I would’ve rather been clueless because that genuinely broke me seeing the way they let someone say something so awful about me. Even if I was mad at them, I don’t think I would EVER let someone say something that bad. Because in that moment, reading that stupid message, I did want to do it. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a while now and everyone knew that, but they didn’t think that I would see it. They didn’t think that maybe I would be able to see that they hated me so much that they’d wish id die. and that hurts. It hurts more than I can express. I’ve always tried to be a good person, ALWAYS, and even to the people I have problems with im still a big pushover and I take it in the ass like everyone else would’ve; I spend money on people who don’t deserve it just to get them to like me, which I know spending money on someone doesn’t mean you deserve jack shit, but yk.. I think that if you see someone is going out of their way to be friends with you and is trying to gift you things because they think your awesome maybe you shouldn’t say that they deserve to die. I felt so fucking sick reading that, I forgot about everything else that was going on and just centered all my attention on that one statement because i genuinely thought these people cared about me at first. I know I should’ve kept to myself like I always did, but I wanted to be like these people, I wanted to be cool and to be liked because that’s all I’ve ever longed for; I’ve wanted the feeling that someone would care about me. And it seems now that the people I trusted never even deserved to be close to me. That I deserved better. And I don’t want to seem selfish because when this first happened i genuinely thought that I was the worst person in the world because how could someone hate someone like this without a reason; but I know none of this is my fault. I know that I deserve better than to sit and wait for these people to come around and like me again that genuinely never will. I know that one day they’ll read this and get all mad and pissy, because im posting this to my tumblr as well, but i genuinely can’t care anymore about these people. Im not naming anyone out of respect for their privacy, unlike how they were with me. I hope that maybe one day, they’ll realize how fucked up what they said was. The worst part is, I still have a place in my heart for ALL of them because I can’t detach that easily. But maybe I’ll get over this sooner than I think, because im better than this. I don’t deserve to sit and wallow my life away because someone hates me. They don’t need to say sorry to me tbh, they need to say sorry to Sabine because she’s the one that had to listen to me sobbing on the phone for the last three days and tbh.. I think she’s more mad than I am 😭

This is posted from a separate account having nothing to do with tumblr, but I genuinely think you guys deserve to know what I’ve been going through and why I might not upload or draw things anymore for the time being. Im not looking for support or someone to say im in the right because frankly, I can’t give a fuck if you guys think im the crazy one. I just wanted to express myself on this platform for once 😇

I hope you all are having an amazing day and that you feel a lot much better than I do 😭

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#trolls #trolls band together #stimboard #trolls 3 #trolls veneer #velvet trolls #slime stim #brozone #purple stim #stim gifs #hiatus

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tv-gh0st · 8 months

Text

Rant about clothes

im back again with my silly timeline merge guys

am i designing zeldas yes very very slowly

that being said i red did Wilds design twice because the guy needed it and i am very glad witht he end result but i am going to over explain it because i simply can

Notes

"Doesnt work" his scared ear doesnt work

"from champions leather" all the darker leather armor and belts are from champions leather

"Tunic of the Wild" its the tunic of thr wild hes wearing

"Purah made it" purah made the prosthetic

"Bunny ears" there floppy like bunny ears!

"both sheika design" botht thr sleve on his amputated arm and under shirt are of sheika origin

"Still has sages" he still has the sages(thr braclet/rings) is nit there because i forgot to draw it

"Heart and stamina contanire" i thought it be cool if he actully had necklesses of them rant is underneath if you want to learn about my specific choices

reasons as to why Wild is now wearing green So first off youll notice he is infact not wearing the champions tunic when everyone else is wearing there main tunics

thats because age is wearing ig and I specifically do not want Wild wearing the champions tunic for not just that reason but hes not a knight anymore atlest in this au there is ni more princess or queen and no more Hyrulien army there sre no more champions which is also why i wsnt Age and Wild to be very distictly diffrent because there worlds and lifes are so different

now originally I still had Wild in blue

For one no part of it was my design yes all of them are in there own tunics from game or whatever but there slightly personalized and designed to my liking in this design the only thing that is mine is the design of the hood that is an exact copy of the zoras tunic and thr royal gaurds pants which i hated so much

so just do your own design of the zoras armor

but why the zoras armor

it was a random choice really maybe cas it was blue or maybe cas it was made by mipha but thats not like a ship im going for and ive already established i want age and wild to be as diffrent as possible so why did i do it

i have no fucking idea

but i do know another reason i hate it is a similar problem the designers had in making link originally its noted in the creating a champion book that they needed to keep him regatnixable as link, and zoras armor if your in the fandom sure but if your not then thats not link to you.

so its a big no go

the next design isnt even worth showing you

But i can talk about it

its when i finally used the tunic of the wild. Now why did i choose the tunic of the wild, its although not thr most popular armor still his green tunic, diffrent from age and very very very easy to play around with and differentiate from the other links. But also the meaning that the tunic has not only is it described as a tunic that diffrent adventurers wore it also proves the hard work he did that he deffited sll the fucking shrines he collected wll the koroks wnd just helps add to that wild i fucking did it sll nature hes supposed to have

But okay wtf was this 2nd design

i just added a bunch of diffrent aspects of different outfit peices ontop of the champions. Tunic, and i fucking hated it. I had the logic of oo i cant draw him in every single outfit so ill just put them all into one snd it was ugly also again no originality to it

so i settled on the one i showed you at the top

i still added refrences to the champions leather but i just though it looked better this way more simple

i did do a design of him in the champions lesther tho

Now im able to get away with it looking diffrent from age cas its cannon that zelda had to remake the tunic so it can be new and diffrent

I made ages simpler and more like the game cas i felt it fit better no spefic reason really

i also did not relize i used the same undershirt as in the champions leather cas i based it off of the orginal one

So yeah that is my silly reasoning as to why i redesigned wild 3 times and why he is now in green

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stownnn · 3 months

Text

My brown eyed boy. 2/6/24

i’m not going to sit here and say we weren’t supposed to meet each other, or we came in each others life at a bad point. in ways i don’t believe that, that exist.

i think things happen for a reason, i read too many books and i know too many love songs to not have this imbedded into my brain.

i cant explain what i feel for you without putting it into writing, because when words fail me in the moment - they win after when they’re on paper.

to start off, i want to say i’m not broken and im not damaged. i have been through so much when it comes to love within the past… honestly my entire life. i never was loved properly and even when i was - the person and i weren’t able to love each other properly due to our current situations and my past i couldn’t let go of.

i have since let go of the past in many ways, i have moved on from things that has happened to me. i don’t associate them with every person that comes my way, family friend or significant other. i am utterly aware that everyone is different and that not everyone is the same.

but i have developed a response to things where if it comes up as history repeating itself, its a self defense fight or flight in me that is quick to just walk away - to walk away before i get more hurt.

im usually, typically, right away am ok. i don’t feel any empathy or remorse for doing what’s best for me - why would i when i know im protecting myself??.. but then there was you. who i instantly felt regret and felt the pain that came from doing that to you. i didn’t understand it and im still trying to. because even though i walked away and i said i needed space, i never was able too come to terms with the peace of it. there was only one time i felt this way and with one person, but there’s was more concern over their wellbeing cause they were mentally unwell.

with you, it was more. i worried about you, i wanted to be in your life, i enjoyed my time with you, and i saw you involved in my life more outside of a romantic relationship. even tho my romantic relationship with you was something that was overly passionate and strong on my end, since the moment i kissed you.

i can easily explain what kissing you felt like to me, but i don’t want it to be taken anyway. because no obviously i didn’t fall in love with you - love is simple but made out to be complicated to some people. love for me is something intense, meaningful and euphoric. it’s something that feels like a high, a good one that you don’t come down from and if it’s the good kind of love, it always feels that way. if it’s the bad kind, the euphoric feeling is mixed with overwhelming sadness, anger and anxiety. so no, i didn’t fall in love with you, it was way too soon. but i did have feelings for you.

kissing you felt like from standing in the cold December night to it suddenly bring a warm cool July breeze summer night. How perfect and soft your lips and kisses were that it made my head and thoughts go silent, as if nothing else was surrounding me. how when you kissed me and you spoke between the kisses telling me to let you know when i got home and to drive safe along with the feelings of your hands on my face. and when you pulled away and walked back to your apartment the feelings of your lips still lingered on mine, and the tingling of your hands on my face. how i lost track of my words and thoughts, and couldn’t process anything.

i knew i already liked you from how you spoke about music, in a different but similar way that i am. my music and passion comes from the sounds of guitars, bass and drums. the way the guitar can be plays in multiple ways and create different sounds with capos and notes on different frets and how notes can be changed played with a single guitar string. you got lost in your own music and style - and that was the first time i ever seen someone get lost in it like me. i don’t necessarily know if you find it an escape like i do because i can sit and play for hours on end, and be lost completely as if im the only person in the world playing - but from us listening to music and talking about it; seeing how you got and your passion, it seems pretty close to mine.

when it comes to what happened with us, i do wish i handled it better where i just stated i needed a break and space in a calming way - where i don’t feel as if we hate each other, or feel that we can never fix things or at least not for some time. i don’t believe im wrong with how i felt. i know i said my feelings are invalid here, from what you stated. i personally don’t believe that. i said it to make the fight end, but i don’t believe it. i was hurt and am still hurt. i’m hurt i was led on, im hurt you didn’t give me closure, im hurt from what i saw and heard - im hurt that i felt like i meant nothing to you. i’m hurt that, that night ever happened with us. and im not referring to what happened later that night when you kissed me down my neck and i let my self respect and boundaries go out the window - im only referring to spending the night, the laughter, the jokes, the playfulness, the snuggles, the kisses and how you looked at me after we kissed. How you were all over the place and then just stopped and turned around to grab my face and kiss me as if no time has passed and as if nothing happened. for you to not say the words “im not sure if this is what i want” and only said “i have a wall up and im proceeding with caution” making me believe that we were trying, broke my heart and confused me in so many ways i can’t explain. i felt like an idiot for thinking anything.

i can typically walk away without a problem, i can do it without giving closure. i can do it and not write a paragraph because the person knows what they did for me to walk away, an explanation for mistreatment is never needed to those who do it. but with you i found myself always writing one out, and that was because i wanted you to try to fight for me and us. i thought this is what you wanted and just played in my face, and i wanted to see if you fight and try but you just let me go each time. you wouldn’t handle it, you wouldn’t try to fix things, you wouldn’t try to have me calm down and see your side. you only said “i wish i knew this sooner so I could've change it” instead of “no stop let’s fix this now talk to me, don’t walk away from this” instead you added more fuel to the flame that i made by lighting a match and throwing it onto the gasoline you poured and you watched it burn.

you let me walk away. you let me leave. you let me cry. you let me go without giving closure like i asked. you allowed yourself to hurt me, with knowing all the pain and hurt i been through. you let my heart break, and me feel so unsure of myself and feel like an idiot. i just wanted you to fight for me to show me you cared, but you proved to me that you didn’t and don’t. from someone who said “i just want you happy” when i was going through my toughest battle mentally months before this happened, to someone who breaks my heart, and the worst part is i don’t think you understand or see that..

even with all this, i actually forgive you. i don’t know if you’ll ever come back into my life. i don’t know if i’ll ever put the wall down to let you. but oh my god, if i could rewind time, i would. i would go back to before anything happened. before i allowed myself to go numb for months, i would have allowed myself to let you in, maybe things would be different.

but i don’t believe you were ever a mistake or believe you came in my life at a wrong time. because even if i didn’t love you and with everything with us being short, like sand falling through my fingers and not being able to grasp any of it and stop it. you were my favorite one of all. my brown eyed dark fluffy hair boy, you were my favorite and will forever be my favorite.

i hope and pray that this really was never the end of us, i really truly do..

till we speak again.. always take care, always smile, always laugh, always succeed, and know i am always supporting you and randomly watching your streams and hoping and praying you succeed more than you ever imagined you could. my sweet handsome brown eyed boy. I hope you dont forget me and think of me whenever you see a dodge charger or see a loud dark hair Italian girl with big hazel eyes. I hope you think of me when you see a French bulldog. I hope you think of me when you see books. I hope you think of me when you see a cute couples post. I hope you think of me when you close your eyes and drift to sleep and remember who laid next to you last (if that was me..) I hope you always remember that short feisty girl, you playfully smacked your arm one too many times and than hugged you saying sorry because she felt bad. The girl who is stubborn, stressful, but beautiful. I hope you always remember me, as the girl who wanted nothing more than you and your time. I as well say this in a pure way, not an evil way. Because one thing I know for sure, whether or not we find our way back - I will never ever forget you. My brown eyed boy

#poetry #writing #writer #creative writing #late night thoughts #late night #romance #heartbreak #brown eyes #brown eyed boy #literature #writers on tumblr #writings #creative

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russian-piece-of-shit · 11 months

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Hi, I'm a system and have mutliple other disorders. All "cis" if you will. I'm not here to shame anyone but I would genuinely like to know how this makes sense to you? I want to know your persepctive because I don't understand and maybe I can get some more insight from someone else. I feel invalidated when people talk about endogenic and "transsystems" because my disorder is not an aesthetic and I had to go through so much trauma that turned me into who I am today and not in a good way. It's painful and it hurts when I see people making fun of my experience by saying they've acquired their system "naturally" even though that's not how the disorder works (By "making fun of" I mean that's how it feels). It also feels transphobic to hijack trans wording such as "cis" and "trans" even though disorders are different to gender. Gender is a social construct and disorders are just not. They can't go away, they can't change. I can never get my childhood back and I struggle to be able to be myself with my Autism and ADHD, I find it hard to keep relationships from the immense anxiety I've gotten from my CPTSD symptoms and the chronic mistrust I've had to develop to survive. I guess I just want to ask why? Why you believe in these things? It's not that I hate you, I don't, I genuinely want to understand because currently I feel hurt, and upset, and made fun of in a way I've never felt before and I just want to know the logic and reasoning behind this kind of stuff before I make a judgement.

Sorry I couldn't respond sooner but heres my answer, please others correct me if im wrong on anything, we're also cisDID and cisAuDHD which has gone through a shit ton to be here yet even then we're okay with this.

First thing I'd like to talk on is how you believe that transplural or endogenic systems do it for an aesthetic which isn't at all healthy for this conversation if you want an explanation, we aren't at all transplural so we'll allow someone who is transplural to speak on that but we have endogenic members, they aren't an "aesthetic" we use to try and seem cooler or, whatever you think they exist for. Understanding that systems are complex is a fiest step, and each system *will* have a different experience, trying to fit each system in a box of a "perfect way to experience plurality" will never work nor does demanding that your perception of a real system is the "correct" way to be.

Second point is something I don't like explaining but cis and trans are prefixes anyone can use, trans means change, anyones allowed to use the prefix as long as it means the same thing. I do agree most disorders cannot go away nor be intentionally created but that shouldn't stop anyone. I can understand how you feel about your disorders, that's a normal way to feel but again, everyone has their own experiences and everyone has their own wants or dysphoria, I'm never going to fully understand everyones experiences nor am I going to even attempt to say I do and I'll never be able to tell whether or not someones "real".

No one, especially not me or you will know everyones experiences fully and I never want to deem someone elses experiences as invalid simply because I don't know how it works, systems again are complex, I barely know how mine works and I don't expect to know how anyone elses work. Saying that transplural or endogenic systems are invalid will fuel the idea that all systems need to fit into a box that might even exclude some cisplural traumagenic systems, and how far will that go to the point that system "safespaces" start becoming FDC? We used to be anti-endo, the normalization of harassing systems who don't fit into your "perfect" idea of one is a huge problem in the anti-endo system community already.

#pro transid #transid #pro transx #transx #pro transabled #transabled #pro endo #transplural #pro transplural #endogenic #endo safe #endogenic safe #radqueer #sorry if its long our first post in like months needed to be good enough

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saraa-lancee · 9 months

Text

If you don't mind, I think I've had a minor Epiphany about Gender and Names and I'm just gonna....

I've honestly really always hated my name. Not like in a visceral way but like. It just doesn't Feel Correct. It's Not Me in a way I can't explain.

I've felt this way since literally forever. As a kid, my brain rationalized it in a few ways.

It's a very popular name-- i was one of many. It was *the* popular name in my cohort until I got to high school. I don't know if that area was just booming with Raechels (and all 100 ways to spell it) or what. I feel like most little kids probably wouldn't love being one of like 10. It brings practical problems (are they talking to me? About me? Am I supposed to respond) but also like. Why does everyone (except for Ben and Ben) else get their own name, I guess. I don't know, I was in elementary school. But i always said I hated my name because it was so popular.

Then, I just hated it because of the way its spelled. I used to get teased about it. I don't think it was outright bullying because it wasn't ever genuinely mean but it still hurts when it happens a lot, y'know. It's technically spelled phonetically but everyone else spells it at least five different ways but mine was the Weird Way that nobody had ever seen. They'd seen Rachel and Racheal and Rachell and Raychel and whatever. But whenever other kids saw my name, they would make fun of how it's spelled. They'd intentionally say it wrong even though they knew I got upset (hell, some people still do that). They would say it wrong and say it wrong and it upset me and tease me for my "name being spelled wrong". (Like, It's not actual bullying but to this day when just about every one asks "is it pronounced Rachel or Rachelle" I flinch and i hate it. It's a professional setting and I was never even *actually* bullied but I still hate it).

Like, it's easy to say well obviously I don't like my name because it's common or it's irritating that everyone misspells or mispronounces my name (I'm side-eyeing you, DMV guy who took four tries to get it right). But at the end of the day, you don't actually really hate your name in those situations-- you hate your name being wrong. The name itself is fine. But for me, I realized recently that the problem wasn't just the irritation-- it was the name itself.

Like, when I think of myself, I've never ever thought my name matched, y'know? It's so hard to explain l but I'm hoping somebody might get it. Like, the name has always felt wrong on my tongue, on my lips. Ever since I was a child I just remember this feeling of "I'm not Raechel".

I went through a brief period recently of "i don't hate it, I just need to reframe it! I share a name with Rachel Carson, someone who was very important in Eagle conservation (something that is important to me)." But then I just really came to the realization that... I don't. I don't because *im not a Raechel*. (Any way you spell it)

I used to collect names (in a non-writer way) as a kid. Names I liked-- names I liked the sound of. Based on nothing, really. Susan. Margo. Carmen. Just characters in books or whatever. And I used to almost... try them on for myself. Whisper them and repeat them in my head and Think of them. But they weren't Right. And it felt a bit frustrating because My Name was Wrong and I couldn't find one that I thought felt better-- like shoe shopping but all they have is half sizes in the wrong direction. So I grew up, went to high school, and it was Whatever. Fuck it.

But now... I think I've always just been Like This and My Name just Didn't Match.

So I collected and tried on Girls Names because I was a Girl (just a bizzare Girl) and maybe I didn't like my name but I'd find one, as you do. As an autistic person, I think it just literally didn't occur to me at the time to consider "boy names" (black and white thinking and all). The concept of "other" or breaking a Labeled Box just didn't occur to me.

But a few months ago (maybe), something just snapped and the name Soren popped into my head. And I haven't been able to ignore it since. There's just... something about it.

At the end of the day, the name Soren has a lot of personal meaning to me, right from childhood. Maybe I'll decide it doesn't fit after all, who knows 🤷 Maybe it doesn't represent All of Me, but it definitely represents a Part of Me. (I don't think that makes any sense either but I digress).

So yeah, I've disliked my name because It's Not Me but I don't hate it because it Represents me. For now, I think I like Soren. I don't know, and I might decide later. I've never even had the courage to do the Starbucks thing (I am working woth social anxiety here) I don't know how I'm going to do this going forward (irl, etc) but for now, I Am Soren in some weird way I was never Raechel.

#soren rants #gender thoughts #rambling im sorry if anyone sees this it just felt so important to say it somehow #non-binary

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findablog · 11 months

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was there a particular scene or episode that made you want to write your favorite muse?

Dang this requires me to pick a favorite muse. So for this I will go over my most active ones and say what made me want to write them. Muses only on my hub though not my other two blogs that aren't connected here LOL. I also wont do my OCs because that's not fair. For them it was me filling a gap that their canon worlds left.

Will Byers - I think for him it was learning his story then watching the show and just that scene in season 1 right at the beginning then being like I need to know everything, and the show isn't giving it to me so I will write it myself.

Dodge Mason - The second he yelled about Panic in the diner and Heather was like "stop" and he was like "im not gonna"

Caleb Widogast - For him it was the moment he shared his backstory.

Scanlan Shorthalt - Bard's lament.

Vax - This is gonna possibly sound rude, but I wanted him to have more agency in his story. He is always giving giving giving and not really receiving back what he gives especially for certain stories. Like both he and Vex are raised by their father but that story is largely associated with Vex (even in their book). It felt like no one ever trusted him so I said I will trust you. You are mine now.

Orym - Honestly Liam describing him and I was like he's mine.

Sebastian Smythe - When he did what he could to gain forgiveness from Blaine, and made sure that was the apology he cared about because that was who he really hurt. And then the guilt he carries about Dave.

Rory Flanagan - Realizing after the first episode of his that they were gonna do him dirty I was like not on my watch bitch.

Nick Duval - When he finally got that solo. And actually a fan fic where he and Sebastian are roommates that is honestly my favorite glee fan fic ever.

Curt Mega - The second I saw him handling being interrogated really well only to be talked down to immediately after by his lover, and everyone else in his agency. I wanted to not only explain that but also make it known that Curt was very very good at his job, and at least from Cynthia's perspective she was trying to keep him humble because Curt would get a big head.

Luke Castellan - The entirety of Battle of the Labyrinth where you get the most insight into what is going on in Luke's head than any other book including his own damn diary.

Edmund Pevensie - His whole time with the White Witch followed by the slow forgiveness for himself that weighs on him in the years of his reign.

Billy Elliot - That last scene where he not only accepts himself, but also returns the affections of Michael. Also the entirety of the musical adaptation.

Link (BOTW and TOTK) - This one is hard, but I think it was the lack of story that was purely link's. Like he gets memories but they are all story beats for Zelda not for him. We learn very little about Link and I wanted to fill that. And its something that continues into the new game. Its my way of giving Link justice because the game is about Zelda link is just the narrator, whom I tend to care a bit more about.

#answered #sorry this got so long and did more than you wanted nonnie

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owlyflufff · 2 years

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“we are the protagonists of the world” | a playlist series for Bokuaka

Stage 3: Center of (my) the Universe

(or home is where the heart is and to Koutarou and Keiji, it’s in the hugs and kisses slipped between, the constant mutual support they give each other, the rings resting on their fingers and the promise of love that came with it, but most importantly, it’s simply with each other)

⭐Grow As We Go by Ben Platt 🌎

“You don't ever have to leave, if to change is what you need, you can change right next to me.”

⭐So Will I by Ben Platt 🌎

“The mountains won't start moving and the rivers won't run dry, the world will always be there, and so will I.”

⭐This I Promise You by NSYNC 🌎

“And I will take you in my arms and hold you right where you belong.”

⭐Forever Unstoppable by Hot Chelle Rae 🌎

“When you're broken, and you're shattered, love will save you from disaster.”

⭐Anywhere With You Is Home by Sam Tsui 🌎

“And I can drive a thousand miles if I'm driving there with you. Oh I can drive the rest of my life if it'll always be us two.”

⭐Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson🌎

“The world may change my whole life through but nothing's gonna change my love for you.”

⭐Home by Boyce Avenue🌎

“The trouble it might drag you down, if you get lost, you can always be found, just know you're not alone, cause I'm gonna make this place your home.”

⭐You by A Great Big World🌎

“I never could imagine how my life would change the day you came, and how all my fears and worries would just wash away.”

⭐Love You for a Long Time by Maggie Rogers🌎

“And in the mornin' when I'm wakin' up I swear that you're the first thing that I'm thinkin' of.”

⭐Teach You by Emily King🌎

“Do I have to explain how to care for somebody you trust? Make them feel like there's no one else around, pick up when you think they're going down.”

⭐We & Us by Moira Dela Torre🌎

“I'll have my you, you'll have your me. No matter what may come we'll have our we and us.”

⭐Imagine by Ben Platt🌎

“Your eyes give life a new meaning, it's like I found the north light. I never knew what I needed, until I felt your hand holding mine.”

⭐Toothpaste Kisses by Thomas Law🌎

“Lay with me, I’ll lay with you. We’ll do the things that lovers do.”

⭐You Are by Pixie Labrador🌎

“You are kindness when the world is cruel. You are patience when there's no time to lose.You are sunsets on rooftops, with a breathtaking view. You are more than what words could ever write about you.”

⭐I Was Made for Loving You by Madilyn Paige🌎

“I was made for lovin you, even though we may be hopeless hearts just passin through. Everyone screamin I don't know what we should do, all I know darlin is I was made for lovin you.”

⭐Better by JJ Heller🌎

“You make me laugh a little louder. You make me dream a little bigger, my life is so much sweeter 'cause you make me, you make me better.”

⭐Best Part of Me by Landon Austin🌎

“'Cause you are the best part of me, the side I hope everyone sees.”

⭐Love Like This by Ben Rector🌎

“It's a million things about you and I don't know what it is, I have never known a love like this.”

⭐Extraordinary Magic by Ben Rector🌎

“Out of thin air you appeared in my life, like a burst of Technicolor in a world of black and white. When my heart was locked inside a box you reached inside and now, I see my future when I look into your eyes.”

⭐All I Need by Foster🌎

“When I can’t find the words to speak, just know you’re all I need.”

⭐When You’re With Me by The Afters🌎

“Hold you, I will hold you, through the better and the worse. Promise, oh, I promise and I'm not just saying words.”

⭐I Am Yours by Andy Grammer🌎

“You got the universe swimming in your eyes, Im an open book when you look in mine. You'll find that I was put here to love you.”

⭐Meant to Be by JJ Heller🌎

“As long as you're beside me, I'll go anywhere.”

⭐It’ll Be Alright by JJ Heller🌎

“I'll hold you in the dark or the daylight, I love you, it'll be alright.”

⭐I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry🌎

“I used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along. You took my broken melody and now I hear a symphony.”

⭐Can’t Help Falling in Love With You by Elvis Presley🌎

“Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you.”

⭐Unconditionally by Katy Perry🌎

“I'll take your bad days with your good. Walk through the storm, I would. I do it all because I love you.”

#TIMESKIP BOKUAKA TIMESKIP BOKUAKA TIMESKIP BOKUAKA #Timeskip Bokuaka time <33 #these batch of songs of course are dedicated to Bokuaka's lives during the timeskip #Nothing but soft sappy and feel good songs for my favorite time in Bokuaka's story!#This also concludes the Bokuaka playlist series but expect some additional songs every now and then whenever I find more!#Bokuaka #Bokuaka fluff #Bokuaka timeskip #Bokuaka playlist #Bokuto #Akaashi #Bokuto Koutarou #Akaashi Keiji #Haikyu!!#Haikyu #Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu #HQ

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poltergeist-coffee · 6 months

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Plate Anon 🤝 Poltergeist-coffe

Screaming at each other

(also, this remember me something, like, what you like to be called? Just your username or something else, I was curious for a while but kept forgetting to ask)

But yeah, qpac and qetoiles need therapy (like everyone else in this island) THEY ARE IMPORTANT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THEY CAN'T SEE IT

This make that time qetoiles lost to the codes more painful, because think about what could'vecrossed his mind after it, he failed on his duty, he failed everyone who was counting on him, who trusted him. Sometimes I think qetoiles don't see himself as more than the weapon he holds, that he can't fail, but he's more than that, he is a friend, heis a father, he is a person(or would it be a cucumber?) he's not made of metal, he can get hurt

And qpac just thinks that if someone had to go, that would be him, because would the best choice, right? Cellbit is the main investigator, and now there's Bagi who is also great, Mike has a good knowledge on create and Forever, well, he's the president, he has charisma and dedicated, the n.i.n.h.o is a proof of this, and well, Felps is Felps(to this day I can't explain this man, he simply is), they would left an hole if they left(and worse, they did) it would be notified, people would feel it, and from that point of view, qpac thinks he would be less of a loss if he was gone. But that's the thing, they are all important, their family works in this way, every piece matter, pac felt every loss, again and again, and they felt when he was gone, when he hurt himself to save qforever

(This what I love in the favela 6, if you looked at their past a everyone you might as "how can this be a functional family?", but they are regardless of all the odds)

(☝️ plate Anon aways finding a way to talk about favela 6)

Honestly,this what makes both of them interesting characters, qetoiles had a big responsibility on his shoulders he couldn't fail(I still find funny how apparently he was supposed to die way before than he did in his last fight with the codes, that's the french beast to you) and qpac doesn't see his own worth, like, y'know the day Kameto came back? He was calmly fighting the mobs and even stopped to fix his hair(also if you find the stream you mentioned please tell me Wich one is)

And if I remember well etoiles was the first to mention pac was a good fighter, right? Sadly they don't interact as much as before but they have a such interesting dynamic

Also I remember that I heard that etoiles wanted to have a villain arc back in the elections arc, but I think he gave up because he didn't exactly have a reason, Pomme had two lives and he's literally the strongest person there lol

(Also THAT part of the fandom is a *insert some insult here because I can't find any word on English that isn't a swear* and he could receive a lot of hate, thats why I don't use Twitter)

But he would be a terrifying villain

And I've been waiting for a TazerCraft villain arc since they got arrested, like, I think Pac deserves to go a bit wild

(Talking about villains, while the happy pills arc wasn't exactly a qforever villain arc, I'm surprised how people embraced it, especially the first day the eggs disappeared, the chat was saying to explode everything and kill. Forever even called Pac to calm him down(Wich he did but he also was like "explode everything" too, Pac has potential to be part of the voices in the head that almost everyone has lol)

-God of the 🍽️ Anon

You call me my username, any shortened version of my username or Kasper! I don't mind whichever you pick lol

plate anon im shaking you by the shoulders youre so based your analysis is immaculate im eating your words now they're mine you cant have them back NJKASDNVAKJS

YOU'RE SO RIGHT THO AAAAARGH!!! i 100% agree i think q!etoiles struggles with seeing himself as more then anything but a protector or like what weapon he has. like he was so lost right after he died from the code and it took the code stuff back. he sort of like gave up/lost all motivation and it didnt help that the eggs are gone!! like he couldnt protect his daughter or the other eggs and now he's failed all the islanders because he couldn't beat the code?? what is he suppose to do now??

sometimes a family is 6 dysfunctional people with complicated pasts and one (1) egg and that makes them an amazing family <33 EVEN IF THEY'RE AT ODDS WITH ONE ANOTHER THEY WILL SUPPORT EACH OTHER/HELP EACH OTHER GAAH!! THEY'RE ALL IMPORTANT TO THE ISLAND AND TO EACH OTHER!!

crying and screaming i want them to interact and talk agina TT maybe they will tomorrow... because there's an event and ik etoiles will log on but idk if pac will......... it's okay... i'lll make my own content of them while i wait... sobs....

the twitter qsmp fandom is so TT it can be good but also sometimes its so bad TT like aah there is a lot of hate that comes from there at times,,,, if qetoiles decided to become a villian or to genuinely oppose the other islanders he would be unstoppable like hes so strong kajsdnvkas they're lucky he isn't right now...

I THINK QPAC SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO GO CRAZY!! IF HE WANTS TO KILL I SAY LET HIM!! HE DESERVES IT HE'S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY!! GO CRAZY GO STUPID I SUPPORT HIM!!

i loved seeing forever's chat the first day when we found out the eggs were gone like kjasndvjkas his chat was like "FUCK THE ISLAND GET RID OF IT ALL!!!!" i was also apart of it... i also sort of wanted him to blow it all up.... sorry my bad... i think qforever deserves to do a little crime.... all the stress of being president was too much let him blow up shit i say... (QPac is such an enabler at times akjnvkajs i love him for that)

#✉️ asks or whatever #🍽️ anon

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