#im wondering if the made him hold those flags as a fuck you to the author

[killjoy-prince]

Manga haul!! I did end up going on my usual bookstore trip!!

#prince's talk tag #bloom into you continues to elude me. i need 6-8 and they only had 8 #i am excited to catch up with sasaki bc i really wanna read the spinoff but i held off until i was caught up #after catching up with witch hat i wanted to continue it asap so i was able to find the next two i needed #idk was she and her cat is but it looks cute #last gender i was reading it online but they didnt have all the chapters even tho the 3rd vol said it was the last one #and i wanna see how it ends #you know i sold a few books at a second hand shop and they gave like pocket change for all of them #im a little annoyed but whatever at least theyre out of my hands #they didnt take one of them bc i think it was too trashy of a manga for them to sell like its just sex really #but i took care of it. i kinda figured they wouldn't but their website didnt specify if theyd take very mature books so i tried it out #and now i know #thats the current vol of classmates out rn after that ill be caught up #i saw the pet agency one on amazon amd didn't know what it was but it was at the bnn with the big selection so why not #something interesting about that bnn so it has 4 floors and the manga is on the 4th floor so i gotta take the escalators up #and on the second floor was a lego statue of h*rry p*tter holding the trans and genderfluid flags #the area this bnn is in is lgbtq+ friendly. having multiple tables and sections in the store dedicated to lgbtq+ books #and even decorating the tables and bannisters with pride flags #im wondering if the made him hold those flags as a fuck you to the author #bc its not like the store wanted to put it up. it was most likely an order from home office #who knows? i dont work there

[officialgritty]

How I Would Humble NHL Players

An essay written by bigboigritty. 

I would humble hockey players the only way I know how to, by sending them to Australia. Let’s suppose that they have decided to hold the All Star game over here (forget about it’s usual date) (forget that some players I have listed below might not be invited) (and while you're at it, please forget that Australia’s rinks are Not Good).

I think that they would suffer but in an entertaining way so it’s fine. 

First of all, their biggest concern is getting sunburnt. It would effect all of their dumb asses but I’m particularly worried about Pierre-Luc Dubois and Mitch Marner. Boys are practically translucent. Vince Dunn would be fine, he’d probably wear a shirt most of the time which is a very smart decision. 

You may wonder why I didn’t mention Nolan Patrick because I am a certified slut for him, well I don't think he would have a problem. He would spend most of the time inside and when he joins the others, I think his Virgo ass would reapply sunscreen. Maybe he would burn slightly but I don't think it'd be enough to make him uncomfortable. 

Another thing that I think they will gain from this experience is a higher pain tolerance. Now you’re probably thinking, “Zoe they are NHL players so they can handle pain.” Wrong.

Real pain is running barefoot on cement at theme parks while you race to get to the next ride. Also getting into the car and having to avoid touching every piece of metal to not get branded like a cow. Or better yet, when the heat gets so bad that there’s a black out because everyone has their air conditioning turned on.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that other countries have scary animals but I would pay to see them panic over ours. Crocodiles here can grow up to 5.2 metres / 17 feet. We have a box jellyfish season where it’s advised to avoid swimming or wear wetsuits for coverage. Funnel web spiders can survive underwater for hours by trapping air bubbles around their skin. We have several of the worlds deadliest snakes present across the country. 

Listen, I don't want anyone to get injured but the constant fear that they would have when doing anything would be enough to make me happy.

My biggest question is who would survive in the shady areas, who would survive the eshays?

Under no circumstances can you look them in the eyes or cross their path. They are not to be feared individually but in groups caution is advised. I think the players would attempt to assert dominance and that is simply not an option. You are better off to ignore the eshay.

Nolan would have no issues here if im being honest. He is big and I don't think they’d find it worth it to fuck with him. But you know who they would target? Matthew Tkachuk. “Where are you going pretty boy?” “Oi braa did we hurt your feelings ya pussy cunt?” They would make fun of his hair in particular. 

Travis Konecny would be an eshay. I don't think I need to make further comment. (So would Louis Tomlinson but I am not a 1D account and I will continue to repeat that until it’s true.)

I would also give them a few iconic tasks to get the true Australian experience. Activities for the ‘vacation’ include triathlon events, beach flags, bush walking and climbing the harbour bridge. They could attend a cricket match but they tend to like golf so unfortunately they would probably enjoy this :(

AFL is an extremely popular sport here and I think they would loose their shit when they learn the rules of this game. No protective equipment is used other than mouthguards, that's it. That’s all you get. And jumping onto other players for leverage is encouraged. I would thoroughly enjoy the fights that would break out because of this.

Another task would be to use a map to make their way to a servo for a slurpee. The catch is that they will be required to pass through multiple alleyways. Also, the season is Spring, it’s swooping season mother fuckers. Let’s see how brave you are when birds chase you down the block. Personally I don’t think any of them would pass this test, maybe McDavid because the birds may not be able to detect a heartbeat.

Australian food would disgust them, I just know it. Things that they would need to try are a Bunnings sausage sanga, fairy bread, lamingtons, baked beans on toast, Milo and Vegemite. Because I’m me I would give them no butter with their Vegemite. 

An after thought I had was money so I’m editing this to include it. Everything here is EXPENSIVE so they would need to learn how to budget. Upon doing research, Canadians would be fine but the Americans will be mad.

1000 CAD = 1019 AUD

1000 USD = 1297 AUD

Another after thought was the fact that they won’t be able to drive (or at least drive well) here. We drive on the left and not the right, same goes for walking paths too. I can sense a lot of them bumping into people.

Where I think players would live based on vibes alone:

Carter Hart and Vince Dunn: North Shore Beaches, NSW. Daddy’s money. Carter probably did Nippers whereas Vince was a skater boy. 

Travis Konecny: Darwin, NT. Would 100% live there and enjoy it. He would try to conduct crocodile tours but gets assigned to feeding the baby crocs and doing shows for little kids. 

Tyson Barrie: Perisher, NSW. One of the only ski resorts we have to offer, major friendly mountain man energy.

Nolan Patrick: Byron Bay, NSW. @antoineroussel enlightened me, steering away from my original thought of Katoomba, NSW. Byron Bay is a magnet for hippies and links rainforest to the ocean. Chris Hemsworth and his family also live there.

William Nylander: Perth, WA. I don’t know much about Perth other than they wouldn’t shut up about partying while the other states had to quarantine. For some reason, I also associate Perth with Tik Tok. 

Sidney Crosby and Connor McDavid: Melbourne CBD, VIC. These two would live in the same apartment building in the city, Connor one level above Sidney. It’s the most boring looking block of them all and Crosby would send in complaints to the landlord about McDavid pacing during the night.

Tyler Seguin: Surfers Paradise, QLD. Party central, not many people are actually from this area and he would be sure to tell absolutely everyone that he was. I also think he would get a Meter Maid tattoo, specifically on his leg. Has definitely slept on the beach before because he couldn’t find his way home.

Jamie Benn: Hobart, TAS. Tasmania is usually forgotten about. Another one with mountain man energy except he is more creepy than friendly.

Mitch Marner: Fitzroy, VIC. @antoineroussel is responsible for this one too. Hipster central, makes you question how the hell someone so young can have so much money. Would chug $45 wine and not blink an eye.

(honourable mentions include = Sammy Blais: Hobart, Tas. Once again no comment on Tasmania. TJ Oshie: Cairns, QLD. Would do reef tours. Haydn Fleury: Western Sydney, NSW. Haydn would 100% own a ute or a white holden commodore and you can’t tell me otherwise. Roman Josi: Adelaide, SA. Small town history teacher vibes.)

I have attached a handy map for those who may need it.

In conclusion, the NHL should send their players over here to teach them some manners and while they’re at it, management should bring themselves too. Nolan Patrick could pass as an Australian if he built up a tan. (So does Nylander in this picture but we won’t talk about that.) Come over anytime baby, I’m free. 

Glossary

Servo - A service station, also known as a petrol or gas station. Example: 7/11

Theme park - An amusement park. Can be said in reference to both normal parks and water parks and usually means those in QLD. Example: Six Flags

Swooping season - August to October in Australia. When birds attack and chase humans and / or pets for getting close to their babies. Magpies are notoriously bad for this. 

Bunnings sausage sanga - A cheap feed / meal found at the front of a hardware and gardening store called Bunnings. Made up of white bread, sausage, onion and your choice of sauce.

Fairy bread - White bread with margarine and topped with 100s and 1000s / sprinkles. 

Meter Maids - Women who work along the beach dressed in gold bikinis. They top up parking meters to save tourists from getting fined and will often stop for photos. 

Nippers - Surf lifesaving programs carried out for children between 5 and 14. 

Ute - A pick up truck.

Eshay - A person who partakes in drug use, graffiti, listens to EDM and targets victims in groups. Below is the typical style of an eshay. 

Tagging a few friends so this doesn’t completely flop but feel free to ignore if it isn't your thing. I won’t be offended lmao

@scheifefe @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @d00dlebob @bowenbyram @kempe @prettyboyroope @quintonsbyfield @travisgermy @pitoftrash @kspitehockey @ballsakic @canadianheaters @bricksatlandyswindow @powerblais @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @jamiedrysdales

#also feel free to send asks if you want more ‘where are players from?’ #I’d give a better explanation in single posts #none of this is serious if you couldn’t tell #its all out of love #nhl #hockey #travis konecny #tyson barrie #nolan patrick #sidney crosby #also enjoy the magpie picture #connor mcdavid #william nylander #mitch marner #vince dunn #tyler seguin #jamie benn #carter hart #I refuse to read this again so ignore any mistakes #I feel like I had a fever dream writing this so I only hope you feel the same after reading it #I’m scared of birds can you tell? #z does other stuff

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 01

(Masterpost) (Next Episode)

Warning: This is **FULL **of spoilers, not just for this episode but for the entire series. If you haven’t finished all 50 episodes, please don’t read it! 

Intro: 2020 continues to be much much too much while also being incredibly boring, and Im done with Shen Wei’s Lewks, so now I’m doing a deep meta dive into the Untamed. Let’s roll! 

Prologue: The Battle of Mordor

The Demise of our Protagonist

Unlike some other shows I won’t name, The Untamed kills its suicidal queer protagonist immediately, rather than waiting four seasons, so we know what we're in for. 

This is Wei Wuxian, who is about to yeet himself off of a cliff. He is having a bad day. 

Note: if mouth blood bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

Reasons for mouth blood: a sampler

Anyway...cliff time

Note: if (fictional) suicide bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

To be fair there are hardly any suicides in The Untamed. No more than ...five? As long as you don’t count the entire population of the Wen Corporate Headquarters in Yiling or those wall bandits in Qinghe or Madame Yu or all those Wens who supposedly threw themselves into the mud puddle or that Mo guy who broke his own neck. Plus watching Wei Wuxian’s cliff drop several more times from multiple angles. So, you know. Hardly Any Suicides. 

This is Lan Wangji, who is about to have his first losing encounter with physics. He is having a bad day.

In fact, if it is possible to have a worse day than the guy who is currently falling to his death, Lan Wangji is having that.

This is Jiang Cheng, who is feeling extra stabby from this camera angle. He is having a bad day.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me? 

(Much, much more after the cut!)

The Amulet Situation

This is the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Yes, by all means, (Netflix) subtitles, let's use a 12-dollar word, “Stygian,” that every English speaker who is not a Shelley/Byron shipper will have to look up. Let’s not use a normal word like "deathly" or "corrupt" or you know... "Yin" which is clearly what they are saying on screen.

Why does this tiger amulet look like a chameleon crossed with a remora? Wei Wuxian can paint photorealistic bunnies on a flimsy lantern while sitting in a field having distracting teenage lust, but two months of meditating with super magic gets him a tiger that looks like a chameleon. And don’t try telling me this is a traditional-Chinese-art vibe because this jade tiger from frickin 1000 BCE is way more tigerish than Wei Wuxian’s attempt. 

Try harder next time, Wei Wuxian.

This is thousands of cultivators having a battle.  What do you mean, it looks like about 40-60 dudes?

 Any time someone in The Untamed refers to a number of people, it is like when you do your high school play and look off into the wings at nothing and say “Hark, A Ship Approaches!” and everyone’s parents nod indulgently.

Jin Clan Mountain Hunt:

*viewership nods indulgently*

This is Captain Blowhard, over on the right, courtesy name Clan Leader Yao. His job is to talk smack about Wei Wuxian and stick up for whoever is the biggest asshole in any given scene.  

He represents mainstream cultivation-world values so here he is shanking one of his allies to take the deadly amulet of evilness.

The Present Day

Spilling All That Yiling Laozu Tea

Down at the Exposition Tea Shop, the Lan juniors are chilling and listening to Tea Dude tell the story of Yiling Laozu. 

How did they get permission to take this field trip? “Principal Qiran, we want to go downtown to hang out with the local rabble and learn about your favorite person, Wei Wuxian.”

Waiting in the wings is the man with a fan and a plan, Nie Huaisan(g), who is paying tall loot to get these stories told.  

...Why? Is Mo Xuanyu having tea here and listening? Or is Wei Wuxian being summoned back by hearing all this smack being talked about him? *Shrug.*

Gank Your Soul

Drunk flag guy out here talking about spirits. Wikipedia tells me that In one school of Daoist thought, a human being has a collection of physical souls (魄 pò) and ethereal souls (魂 hún). Drunk flag guy is saying “hún ” at the moment. 

The many types of souls don’t translate well into English, where spiritual vocabulary has always been shackled connected to Christian beliefs, and is too limited for this context. So when the subtitles have conversations like “Is it a soul eater? No, no, it’s a spirit taker!” just roll with it. (Speaking of hún, if you have any interest in linguistics, do yourself a favor and go read all the wonderful meta @hunxi-guilai​)

The spirit-carrying flag looks a lot like Raava and Vaatu from Korra which...probably doesn’t mean anything.

The Demise of our Trill Host

Suicide #2 happens about 8 minutes in. 

Mo Xuanyu is that hippie roommate with the annoying wind chimes and bead curtains and blood spatter.

He is super mad at his terrible family and also at Jin Guangyao, who sent him home to his terrible family. I wonder if Fan Man Nie Huaisang influenced Jiggy’s decision-making there. Mo Xuanyu’s choice to die for revenge might be excessive, given how easy it actually is to murder the Mo family.

Being Alive Is Fine I Guess As Long As I Get To Fuck WIth People

Wei Wuxian starts his new life by splashing a little water on his face, which instantly makes his hair go from this

to this. 

He looks at his reflection and wishes he was dead, which--mood--but he gets over it as soon as he finds someone whose day he can fuck up.

And he is ALL in on being crazy. 

OP wishes she had the Wei Wuxian kind of crazy instead of the kind she actually has. 

Meanwhile, this is the sane Mo cousin:

This asshole is wearing one of the best fabrics in the whole show, incidentally. Asshole.

My favorite bit of Wei-Mo craziness is when Wei Wuxian does a meaningless 360 all the way around this dude before ducking in the opposite direction, which is like when I make 4 right turns around a whole block to avoid making a single left across traffic.

Perhaps I Do Miss One Thing In This Life

Wei Wuxian has pining thoughts about Lan Wangji, so he plays WangXian on a fucking blade of grass well enough for Sizhui to recognize it from his dad's guqin jams. 

Wei Wuxian is a better flautist than even Inspector Gadget BeatBoxing Flute Guy (Google it).

Our Many Many Spirit Lure Flags have Lured A Spirit, Oh Shit

Lan Clan has a Plan and Wei Wuxian is a Fan

Having one single lure flag stuck in Wen Ning’s torso caused spirits to basically eat him alive, so to catch one evil spirit, 6 disciples holding flags on the roof plus 8 more flags on the ground seems like a good amount. Wei Wuxian is like “yep, a single one of these will lure every spirit for five miles, carry on, younglings.”

Baxia Does the Heavy Lifting

Wei Wuxian is supposed to kill four people because of this curse situation, and in the course of the series they all die, and he kills exactly zero of them. The curse on Wei Wuxian’s arm should be called the scorekeeper curse. 

Baxia’s spirit pinballs around the Mo clan, rapidly killing three people on Mo Xuanyu’s list plus a couple extras for good measure.  Who's a good blade? Baxia is! Yess you are! Yes you are!

This here is the exact point in the show where your friend, who has listened to you squee about The Untamed for three months and finally agreed to watch it with you, will say “what the fuck am I watching?” and try to get up off the couch. Tackle them! 

This also the point where we all realize that the prosthetic and practical effects in this show were probably not made by the people who made the clothing, because the quality is...variable. The white eyeballs are pretty good, but the glove of death is ridiculous.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me?

While Baxia goes to town on the Mo clan, the Lan Clan babies...watch? And tie up the various victims after they are already goners. 

Narrator: Her son is dead.

Meanwhile, 

Wei Wuxian, you motherfucker. You’ve been alive for like 7 hours and you’re already building a new zombie army. No wonder you don’t want them to call Lan Wangji.

Hanguang-Jun Cut It Up One Time

Lan Wangji shows up and very slowly kicks zombie ass with his guqin. If you are used to Hong Kong action speeds, you will find The Untamed very peaceful.

 All of the baby Lans fan squee up at Lan Wangji like he's the cultivation world's David Bowie and...they're not wrong. Jesus Fuck, he’s charismatic.

Lan Wangji is soft boi when he discovers this murderous sword full of dead-bastard energy, because it reminds him of his true love.

Like the talk about souls, the conversations about the nature of the murderous entity really don’t survive translation into English.

Servant: it’s a ghost! 

WWX: it’s not a ghost, it’s a spirit

Babies: It’s a spirit

LWJ: it’s not a spirit, it’s a [...] ghost

Our Protagonist gets the FOH

Wei Wuxian is soft boi when he sees Lan Wangji, but not so soft that he considers actually, like, sticking around. 

Wei Wuxian is also clueless boi, noting Lan Wangji’s white clothing and thinking, as in the past, that he looks like he’s dressed in mourning. The term he uses is 戴孝, which google tells me means the type of outfit worn by Jiang Yanli after Wen Ning rips her husband’s heart out someone who is in mourning. 

Actually, Wei Wuxian, you dumbass, he is in actual mourning, actually, for you. Dumbass. He probably packed away all of his blue outer robes 16 years ago and only takes them out occasionally to reminisce about that nice date you had on your mountain of corpses. 

On his way out the door Wei Wuxian manages to find a red ribbon for his beautiful hair, so things are looking up. 

Where to go next...hey I know, how about that one haunted mountain with the killer statue, you know, the one that all my executed friends and child came from? That’ll be fun and a great way to put the past behind me!

Episode 02 Restless Rewatch is here!

#fytheuntamed #the untamed spoilers #the untamed gifs #the untamed #restless rewatch the untamed #tw: blood #tw: suicide #chen qing ling #cql #c-drama #bl drama #canary3d-original #the untamed memes #my gifs

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

#* #my policeman #godd this book...i cant wait for the movie #mp

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

[dazzledamazon]

Misunderstood 7/?

She went to answer the door, checking the peephole first. Fuck. What were they doing here? Why? Why now? Rick was still in the shower. Maybe If she were fast enough, she could get them out of there before he got out. She never realized that every ounce of progress she’d made those few days, was becoming undone. Her ex boyfriend and new wife were on the other side of the door.

Taking a deep breath,”Hi! What are y’all doing here?,” she asked, with a smile through gritted teeth.

“We were passing through town on our way to see Laura’s grandparents. Figured since you couldn’t see us, we’d try to see you,” her ex said, as Laura, just walked in the apartment.

“Interesting decor. Early disaster?,” Laura snidely commented. “Bachelorette days make you lazy? Or did some of those criminals follow you back from your job?”

All of it was out of ear shot of her husband. But as soon as Laura spotted a photo of her with Harley,Boomer, Diablo and Weasel she called her husband over.

“I told you that reason she couldn’t come to wedding was because her boyfriend was a jailbird. Look it’s gotta be this guy,” Laura yelled happily, pointing at Diablo. “And this has got to be a pet right? Stray dog?,” pointing at Weasel.

“Look at this chick. One guess as to what she’s in for. Wonder what she charged?,” her ex mused. “And this oaf. He just oozes idiot.”

Rick, was just getting out of the shower, and heard voices. Harley had thrown a wedding invitation towards him earlier and said this was part of a big problem. He looked at it. Saw it was addressed to her. Filed the info away. Heard the name Laura and put on a pair of sweatpants. He decided to stay in the bedroom unless he felt he shouldn’t. Rick left the moment he heard the comments start about the photo. Knowing that things were going to get real ugly quickly. No one ever talked about them disrespectfully near her. Last time she knocked out two guards for just saying that Boomerang was dumber than his boomerangs. They were scared of her. She defended Rick as well. Those guards saluted him now. No one would tell him what went down either. Had to save her from getting arrested. He did the first thing he could think of.

“Missed me babe?,” he asked, turning her around and kissing her.

She was in shock. But quickly returned it. The kiss didn’t last long, mainly because they were interrupted by a clearing throat. They broke apart, but Rick refused to let her go, pulling her back against his bare chest.

“Who’s this? Fly by night? I’m Laura,” she purred, eyeing Rick’s shirtless chest and the rest of him.

“And I’m her husband. And her ex boyfriend,” her ex, cheerfully said, as Rick shook his outstretched hand.

“I’m her boyfriend Rick. You two just got married right? Why aren’t you on your honeymoon?”

“Just stopped in to say hi. To find out why she’s been avoiding coming home. Now I see why,” Laura said, running her tongue over teeth, trying not to drool.

Rick pulled her closer to his chest. He could tell she was about to kill the woman. Laura was making him very nervous. She kept staring at him like he was a soon to be conquest.

“Do you approve of her working around criminals and psychopaths?,”Laura snidely questioned. “I mean she’s probably screwing this one,” Laura said to Rick, pointing to Diablo.

Rick had to hold her back again, tightly wrapping one arm around her waist. The other grabbed one of her hands, kissing the top of it, “Remember murder is illegal. But I’d never disagree with it in this case,” he whispered in her ear.

She snatched the photo back from Laura angrily.,“That is my brother Diablo. And my FRIEND Weasel. And if I EVER HEAR YOU CALL HARLEY A HOOKER AGAIN IT WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU EVER DO! I’ll let Boomer take care of you,”she growled at them. “You aren’t good enough to clean up their shit,” she growled, trying to get out of Rick’s grip.

Rick kissed the top of her head proudly. He wished he could’ve recorded this for the gang. They’d have loved seeing their Miss Sweetness getting like this. Especially for them. No one ever did. He gripped her tighter to him, but really just wanted to let her go to beat this bitch. But knew he’d be bailing her out of jail. There was a lot of bad backstory.

“Are you going to let her talk to me like that?,” Laura asked Rick.

“Yes. I agree with her. This is one of the many things that made me fall in love with her. How much she loves her real friends,” Rick said,turning her face up to look into her eyes. “And how she treats them like human beings. Unlike you who doesn’t deserve that distinction,” he said turning a cold gaze towards Laura.

Her eyes widened in shock at Rick’s words. As did Laura’s. Her husband hid a chuckle and turned away to look at photos on the wall. Rick never spoke that way to anyone. Rick was the nicest guy. Unless you crossed him.

“Get the fuck out of my house. Don’t contact me in any kind of way. If you do… well… I do have a question for you. Have you heard of Harley Quinn? The one that was with The Joker in Gotham?,” she asked.

“Duh. Who hasn’t?”

The smile on her face was sicky sweet, “Bitch, contact me again and see this beautiful lady in this photo you called a hooker?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s Harley Quinn. A personal friend of mine. You don’t want a visit. Trust me.”

She cackled,” You don’t have the guts.”

Rick laughed,”Yes she does. Those two are tight. Harley is a bad influence.”

“You’re a former inmate. I knew it,” Laura said triumphantly.

“This one is a piece of work babe,”he said to her,” Im a Colonel. Special Forces.”

Her eyes stared daggers through Laura. The other woman, finally realized that the years of torturing her were over. She’d have to find another victim. Laura glared as she turned and stormed out of the door. Her ex stopped and looked at them.

“I’m sorry for all of this tonight. I never wanted this. You’ll always be my best buddy. If you ever need or want anything just call. Or just say hi. Um.. if possible maybe later could I borrow Harley? Laura scares me,” he said.

“When you come back I’ll see if I’ve thought of something. Be safe huh?”

“I’m glad you found someone who loves you like Rick does. You deserve the world. Love you buddy,” he said running out of the apartment.

“Love you too,” she called after him. “My friend.”

Rick’s arms tightened around her. She turned and snuggled into his chest.

“It’s never boring around you, that’s for sure,” he teased.

She started laughing as he led her to the sofa.

#Rick Flag x reader. #Rick Flag

#rick flag #rick flag x reader

[shinymooncolor]

Sweater weather chat #9

A little Friday tribute to @lumosinlove ‘s sweater weather. 

@siriuslyqueer and @wxlfstxrx thanks for helping me through a groundbreaking epiphany. <3 

Sweater weather chat #9

Celeste has plans. Logan mopes. And drives a minivan. Kuny hides in a library. Nado is a star. And the wives call him Jackie. We get some lady love. Cause hockey wives are awesome. The team dads get in trouble. What did happen in Prague? Does mild vodka exist? 

--- 

Thursday 3.42 pm 

Celeste: hi ladies! So, as you know the long dreaded school talent show is looming on the horizon. I don’t know with you -  but that’s a Saturday we will not get back…. Any ideas?? 

Anya: we send our husbands to the show. 😜 zhenya is helping my kids anyways. Not sure how that happened. But him and Jackie came to leech a free dinner and somehow ended up joining the talent show. 

Linnea: that sounds like something that needs to be recorded! I’m up for a spa weekend. God knows I need it. We’re headed for Sweden next month and I need to prepare mentally for my in-laws. 🙊

Celeste: so we agree to send the boys to the show? And get on with a lovely spa weekend ourselves 😍

Allison: I’m in. I love my boys but I’ve seen them dance and heard them sing. Brady has been successfully avoiding the past three events!!! But I’m intrigued about what the hell Kuny and Jackie can help with? 😂 

Anya: I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s sergei problem now. I’ve warned them to keep it kid friendly. Jackie is still a little scared of me, I think. 👻

Celeste: they are good boys but those two. I swear they’re worse than our lot. And that’s saying something. You remember Prague? 😠

Linnea: the one with the flags at worlds? What were they thinking.... 

Allison: oh sounds like there’s a story there! What did they get up to? 🙊

Linnea: let’s get back to that after three bottles of Chardonnay... 

——

Thursday 4.08 pm 

Celeste: you are going to the talent show. And take Logan with you. He’s been moping for a week. He’s such a teenager. 😂 and DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT DRINKING AGAIN. I will tell Logan about Prague. 😠

Dumo: but I have to train. And don’t tell anyone it’ll undermine our authority. 

Celeste: no you don’t have to, it’s optional. Don’t even start Pascal. You’re taking your ragtag team Dads and you’re all going to sit through 3 hours of recorders and botched Disney music. And you’re going to applaud your babies. And please film whatever the terrible two get up to. I’ve seen the outfits. 😂😍😂😍

Dumo: I love you but you’re mean. Enjoy your spa day. What do I get for being good?

Celeste: a wife who won’t make you sleep in the guest room. And if you’re really good we can talk about the white one again. 

Dumo: I’ll be good!!! 😇😇😇😇😇 

Celeste: 😉

——

Thursday 5.00 pm 

Dumo created a group chat. 

Dumo added Sunny, Sergei, Brady, Kuny, Nado and LoganT 

Dumo named the group chat talent show 

Dumo: gentlemen I believe you’ve all had your fates sealed. We’re now sentenced to suffer through the horror of our kids’ school talent show.

LoganT: what am I doing here? I don’t have kids leave me out 

Dumo: you left your disgusting workout clothes in MY basement. Without cleaning it up. You’re coming. Also Leo and Finn are both with their families. And Celeste made me take you cause apparently you’re sad and mopey. 🤓

LoganT: I’m not sad and mopey. I’m brooding and there’s a big difference. 😠

Sunny: you’re 22 and your boyfriends are out of town. Chin up buddy and enjoy a Saturday of off key singing and recorder hell. And you are moping 😆 brooding is for grown-ups… 

Nado: we’d offer to take you to some strip clubs and get you laid but. Well. We don’t really frequent gay bars so. 

Sergei: really? I once had to rescue u 2 from drag club 😂

Nado: it was one time and we didn’t realize until we were inside. Felt like a fucking Kingggg man they know how to party. Wanna go to a drag club baby Logan? Is fun times! 

Kuny: was fun. But we promise to do show with baby Russians he he 👻👻👻👻

Nado: well i didn’t understand what i said yes to. Thought she asked if I wanted to play Pokémon. 😳

Sergei: that’s why she asked. She’s too sneaky. Not like it. What you do for show? 

Nado: no idea. Your wife is making us an outfit and told us to just stand in the background 🙈

Dumo: oh I’m recording this. Anyways there’s never any parking. You’d think with the obscene fees we pay for that school they could at least organize proper parking. Let’s carpool. 😎

LoganT: why are you carpooling? You’ve got like a combined car catalogue of 25 cars....... 

Brady: this is clearly Logan’s first rodeo. Okay. Sergei always brings some Russian elixir of life. So. We need you to drive. 😘

LoganT: IM NOT DRIVING A MINI VAN! IVE GOT A REP 

Nado: there’s alcohol involved? I’m in!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

Sunny: only way to get through this....😔

Dumo: you don’t have a rep. You have two boyfriends, an accent and a sweaty hat. You’re driving and I’m not going to argue. 😠 

—- 

Saturday 12.33 pm 

Dumodad: if anyone is wondering what the terrible two are up to this fine Saturday. They’re currently in the middle of a moving rendition of Into the Unknown. Yes they’re wearing blue sequins. 🤩

*kuny and nado dressed in blue glitter sequins onesies with a bunch of kids singing into the unknown* 

Prongstar: HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WHAT IS GOING ONNNN???? 

Blizzard: well. There’s a future in show biz for those two. 😂 kuznetsov and nadeau the movie. 

Bradygunz: this is giving me some fresh prince vibes little rays of sunshine!!!😂😂😂😂 @talkiewalkie 

Talkiewalkie: yesss!!! Hahahah 😎😎😎

 ——- 

Saturday 1.22 pm 

Sunny: I love my kids but. There’s a reason it’s not a good idea to always just tell kids they’re good at stuff.

Dumo: hahahah the one with the juggling was fun. 

LoganT: why are we still here? I won’t ever get my hearing back after that bag pipe thing. 😭

Sergei: that’s why we drink. I like the politic ones like a kid could ever know so many isms 

Sunny: quit hogging the flask. Gimme. 

Brady: I didn’t know so many isms existed. Pretty sure some of them were just random words. 😂

——

Saturday 2.01 pm

Logantremblayzzz: guess who’s pissed at a kids talent show. Guess who’s hit on every teacher and has suspiciously disappeared and guess who’s somehow ended up in a production of you’re welcome from Moana? 

Sirius: this is fun.... 1) the dads are pissed. I went to a school play with them once. Sergei brought his flask? 2) I wanna say Nado 3) Kuny? 

Blizzard: ohhh I’ve got 2/3 swapped - Kuny can’t sing in English... and nado’s got the tattoos 😂

Eliascookie: I wanna know more about the sequins? 🥳

Prongstar: tell us!!!  

Logantremblayzzz: 1) yes the dads. Sergei swears it’s only mild vodka. But they’re definitely not sober. 2) Kuny was missing but I found him. He is hiding in the library. 3) yes Nado has somehow ended up on stage again. He’s doing that pec thing it’s weird. I swear the moms here are swooning. He signed someone’s bra. ITS A SCHOOL. 

KrisVolley: you’re just cranky that you had to drive the mini van. Haha! 😂

CarbO’Hara: Logan! You drove a minivan? 🤪🤪🤪🤪 cuteeee 

Logantremblayzzz: it’s stupid and ugly. 🥴 

Dumodad: suits you then 🤪

Logantremblayzzz: I’m telling your wives. 

Sergei_81: no Logan. Don’t be mean. U can have my car 

Bradygunz: we don’t tell Celeste when you leo and Finn cause problems!!!! 

Dumodad: he’s bluffing! Remember who let you live FOR FREE in his basement! I do your laundry and feed you. 

Logantremblayzzz: celeste feeds me and does laundry. You’re just as much a leech. 

Dumodad: I pay for things. 😠

RussianGod: I don’t know where are. Books everywhere help I hide from moms so many everywhere 😳😳😳😳

Ollibear: someone please rescue Kuny before the soccer moms kidnap him 😂

Timmyforrealz: wow Kuny go get some cougar love 🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯 hehehehe 

RussianGod: I scared. Help. @dumodad @logantremblayzzz @sergei_81!!!!!! Help help 

Sunnysideup: DONT flirt with them then. You asked for it. I’ll come get you. Stay in the library. You’re missing nado singing. 

——

Saturday 2.12 pm 

Logan: hey Celeste. Show is ok. How’s the spa??? ❤️❤️❤️

Celeste: charmer... it’s fine thank you - how are the boys?

Logan: uh. Well. 

Celeste: one sec love. 

—-

Celeste added Logan to the group chat 

Celeste: hi Logan! Please tell us about the show. How did the terrible two do with their performance 

Logan: well Katya got scared and refused to go on stage so Kuny had to hold her hand. It was really cute. Loved the outfits. They’re definitely never forgetting that 😂 other than that your husbands are sneaking drinks from sergei’s flask and Nado has been in stage for the past three performances 

Anya: he did what? I will kill him. Thank you for telling us Logan. Tell zhenya to be careful. Soccer moms are hungry.

Logan: will do. Want me to kick your husbands? 

Anya: no love. We have our own ways to punish our idiots 😈

Linnea: thanks Logan! 

Celeste removed Logan from the group chat. 

Celeste: well. I knew we couldn’t leave them alone. But the plan worked well - they’ve now signed themselves up for the events for the rest of the school year! 😎

Allison: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 

—-

Celeste: Logan texted me. Do you have any idea how much trouble you all are in? Also someone go rescue Kuny. He’s not ready for a soccer mom. 😈

Dumo: I’m gonna kill that kid. Also sorry. But. There was a BAGPIPE. You’re very pretty and beautiful and I love you. Sunny has gone to rescue Kuny. 

Celeste: hmm. How are you going to fix it? 

Dumo: I’ll show you 😜 on my knees 👅

Celeste: 😈

#sweaterweather #sweaterweatherchats #sweaterwheatherchatsnr9 #lumosinlove #lumosinlove ocs

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Day 14: The Last Day

Hi guys! Here she is! The last of our quarantine fic as the world is opening up, whether it should or not. It’s short, but felt complete! Huge thanks to everyone who read and reblogged! A huge thanks for @dirtystyles and @emulateharry for the read throughs and cheerleading! I am sure there will be other little odds and ends-

Harry’s POV maybe...

Day 14: The One With The Loss

"Where the f ..." Elise felt frantic, she could not find her bracelet. Her grandmother had given it to her. She didn't care at this point if she had to leave everything else behind, but she couldn't leave that.

She'd been incredibly close to her grandma Rose. On Some hard days, Elsie would have said she was the only one who ever really loved her. When she was dying Elise had gone to the hospital as much as possible to sit with her, at first to play cards, and then to hold her hand, and finally to curl up next to her and cry. When grandma was still able to talk she'd told her to go in her jewelry box, the one that was packed from her room at the assisted living facility and find her opal bracelet.

They shared an October 21st birthday. Grandma Rose said she'd had the bracelet since her sweet sixteen. Elise was a little older than that when she got it, but the bracelet was priceless and irreplaceable at this point. Her random t shirts and even her books could stay, but not her bracelet.

She'd been packing for a couple hours at this point. She wasn't aware she had this much stuff, or that it was so spread out. She'd been pretty unemotional through the whole process, until she couldn't find her bracelet. Elise might have been crying inside before then, but she was really freaking out now.

It was the first time she had cried since the talk with Harry.

"Is that what you're so scared of?" He'd said.

She'd scoffed. That got her back up. "I'm not scared of anything."

"Are you kidding me?" He actually laughed at her. "You're scared of everything!"

"Fuck you Harry! You don't know how I feel."

"Of course I don't. It might actually kill you to talk about your feelings or be honest." His hands were crossed over his chest.

"Honest, feelings? Cuz you are the king of talking about real shit?" Her hands came off her hips and she was pointing. "All we do is play, or fuck. You may actually be a lost boy."

"I'm just trying to read your comfort level, love. That seems to be the depth of life you're willing to deal in. Gotta keep it light for poor Elise, or she will run away. I'm dont even know why I bother." He sighed. "If you liked spending time with me at all, without being entertained all the time, I would not have to lure you out of your room every damn day with some promise of food or comfort or sex. It's so damn hard to know you."

"How dare you!" She seethed. He'd insinuated she was shallow right? That's what that bullshit about depth implied. "I am not shallow. Or a damn child who needs to be bribed. Maybe if I had any idea what I was doing here, or why you were being so nice to me, I'd not be so damn afraid I'd need to hide. I don't know you either, and your intentions are even more obscure."

"What you're doing here? I was just trying to make sure you were ok, or safe. Take care of you. If you were unwell it would be my fault."

"Cmon Harry, we both know you could have got us tests and sent me packing ages ago. What little fantasy are we living out here?"

"Yours!" He shouted.

And the conversation got more intense from there.

"Where could I have?" Elise's cheeks were wet; she was nauseous. This day had already been too much. She'd just got her head in her palms to weep when strong hands came onto her shoulders.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Harry asked into her black hair before kissing it.

"I can't find my grandma's bracelet anywhere. She gave it to me when they told her she was running out of time." She turned a watery frown on him and he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Ok, well tell me what it looks like and I'll help you."

Elise described the delicate piece and they each set off to look. She was essentially tossing things out of her way adding to the mess. The room had already looked casually like a bomb went off, but she was a mess when she looked for things. She did notice Harry was orderly in his disarray.

"When'd you wear it last?"

"I don't wear it. I'm too afraid I'll break it." She told him, and he chuckled.

"If you say something about patterns or bad habits I will cut you." She mentioned.

He put his hands up in surrender. And they both laughed.

He had a point.

Elise was thinking about how their fight the night before had gone when Harry said. "Is this it?"

"Oh my god." Tears filled her eyes anew and ran down her cheeks. "Thank you! What would I do without you?" It was an honest question. It had only been fourteen days but she honestly couldn't imagine not knowing him, really knowing him, not about him, or speculating about him, or inferring about him, or projecting about him. Knowing him, underneath his clothes, under his skin.

"No need to find out!" He smoothed her hair and then gave her a smooch. "Now, can you grab whatever you need so we can pretend we hate that we have to be locked in a house together for an undefined time."

She giggled. "You don't hate that you are stuck in your house with me for who knows how long?"

"Are you going to let me turn up the heater and stay naked?" He picked up one of the boxes she'd put together.

"Not all of the time."

"Then some of the time?" He curled his tongue and poked it to the side of his mouth.

How was she supposed to say no to that. "Maybe."

"Then hurry." Kiss. "Up." Kiss. " we need to go play strip scrabble."

"Im not playing scrabble with you." She said for the umpteenth time.

"Strip monopoly?"

"No."

"Apples to apples?"

"How the hell.." she just laughed at his hugely dimpled smile. "How about we just go in your hot tub and drink margaritas naked."

"Deal!" He started tossing clothes wildly into bags. It was out of character except for his insatibility. "Hurry up! We have plans!"

"To have sex?" God he was sooo cute. "More sex." She clarified.

"Yea, aren't those very important?" He stepped into her space and planted his hands on her hips and his flag in her heart. He'd leaned in close, but didn't connect their lips.

She gulped and leaned up against his arms keeping her feet planted and away from his tempting lips. "Yes, very important."

"Yeah." He said and kissed her silly.

She'd never done it on that bed. Seemed funny to do it after it had been stripped and with the knowledge it would never happen again.

It could have went another way. Elise kept catching herself in moments and feeling grateful, that once Harry started talking, he really started talking.

The day before, when he shouted the truth about living out her own fantasy, she'd started to walk away. She couldn't handle the truth. It was at least half true, it was a wonderful two weeks of her life, and it looked like now it was over. Elise knew she couldn't handle going back to his place and fighting more, or worse facing silent treatment. Plus, if he had wanted her there, he still hadn't said that today or before. She was about to cross the threshold of the room. Harry muttered something about her walking away.

She stopped and turned. She only had to walk away if she wanted to be done.

"This has been a fantasy, of course it has. Like a dream come true. And I'm really scared. I have no idea why I'm here, not really, or what we are doing, or what..." she sucked in some oxygen. "Or what." She felt tears building in her eyes. "How you feel about me." She expected him to say something, but instead he just stood and stared at her, waiting for her to talk. "And what happens tomorrow."

"What?" It was the first thing he'd said during her rant.

"We' re almost done with friends." She whispered.

He was nodding. "We are. so?"

"You said." She swallowed. "Last week you said we should finish Friends, the you said we only had three more days to finish."

He was nodding. "I guess I did, but Elise, the end of friends, it doesn't mean the end of us. And I'll answer all the questions you have. If you want the answers. But, I'll be honest and say I have no idea how you feel about me, like the real me, too. It's why I held back so long."

"So long? It's only been two weeks."

"Pretty intense two weeks." He wiped her tears. "It felt like forever. I wanted to love you up by day five."

She giggled. "Me too."

"Ugh." He groaned. "All that missed opportunity." But they were both smiling. "New challenge: make up for lost time now."

She was shaking her head at his ridiculous eyebrows. "So, you like me?" She asked.

"At the risk of being really obvious, I like you, like really like you, maybe could be more." He tilted her chin up. "and you like me? Me me?"

Elise nodded then thought she had already been this brave. "More than like, I think."

He beamed. "Honestly Elise, when I first brought you home it was out of guilt and because it didn't initially occur to me to just get tests." He looked down. "I had Jeff do research, and we had to wait a few days, and by then, well, I really liked spending time with you."

"Me too." All these confession made her feel like a feather.

"And nothing happens tomorrow. It's not some scary end date, I'm not kicking you out at check out time." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Honestly? I'd really like it if you stayed with me, for however long this lasts. We've already been exposed to each other.."

"You think?"

"Very exposed to each other." He laughed with her. "And then after, whenever that is. We talk about it. You can keep your place, or save the money."

"I could pay for groceries."

He sighed. "Ok, you can pay for groceries." He quirked a brow and the dimples that bracketed his mouth wanted to break free, they just needed her response. "Does that mean you'll stay?"

"I'll stay." The full wattage of his smile was really like A full moon on a clear night. He bridged the space between them and swooped her into his arms.

"Good, I'd miss you if you were gone."

"I'd miss you if I was gone too." She was honest, hopefully it would become a new habit.

"Then let's not let that happen." He kissed her then, and it was a piece of this tiny instance of forever she'd keep always, if they wound up married fifty years or broke up by pandemic's end.

"Can I tell you something really crazy?"!She asked with her ear pressed to his heart. She felt his body nod on her head. "I'm so glad you sneezed in my face."

"Yeah?" He asked. "I could do it again?" He offered, his body vibrating with his laugh.

"I'm good now thanks. But, I'm still glad it happened."

"Me too baby, me too."

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #quarantine fic #day fourteen #the one with the loss

[crowsent]

AUgust 2020: Post-Apocalypse AU

Challenge given by @augustwritingchallenge

Summary: "You’ve gotta be fucking KIDDING me!” Battered and dirty and broken as it is, Max recognised this sign. Camp Camp looked much smaller now.

Pairing: N/A, implied mention of Gwen/David

Characters: Max, mention of Gwen and David

Word Count: 1143

CW: Zombie violence

Notes:  the tumblr version is unformatted. for that reason, i highly recommend you to read the ao3 version instead so yall get that sweet sweet tone difference.

im a basic bitch who picked Zombie for post-apocalypse get over it. and i SWEAR to god if ANYONE fucking pulls some disgusting maxv//d bullshit in the notes im blocking yalls asses

AO3 Link: HERE

=

“You’ve gotta be fucking KIDDING me!” It’s a bad idea, but literally fucking everything is a bad idea in this zombie shitstorm. Who gives a cunt’s hair if Max lets out a scream filled with the rage-frustration-disbelief-rage that had been building up more and more and more? “There’s fucking something laughing at me,” he declared. A god, a demon, a heartless wretch dictating what his life would be behind a silver screen but something out there just wanted him to suffer for as long as possible in the worst fucking way.

The stupid banner under it has torn, the letters had faded even more, and one of the posts holding the sign up had been knocked down, but the stupid fucking thing stubbornly held itself aloft using a nearby overgrown tree branch like a crutch. Battered and dirty and broken as it was, Max recognised this sign. And, as he looked around him, he began to recognise these woods.

Camp Camp looked much smaller now. Max could touch the sign if he reached up for it on his tiptoes. Trace the letters that he spat at in his youth, follow the winding path deeper in with his eyes and if he looked real hard, deep past the overgrowth of leaves and branches, he could almost make out the flag in front of the mess hall peeking out, the one that David always saluted whenever he chanced a glance up like a fucking moron.

Starving, exhausted, and with blisters on his feet from running so damn much, Max can’t fucking believe that luck or fate or whatever the fuck brought him back here. A sharp whine, cut through the air behind him. Without even thinking, Max picked up his baseball bat and swung blind towards the noise.

There was a crack and a snap and just a little bit of that disgusting squelch when wet flesh slaps against the ground. Max heard it way too often these days. The bat cleaved through a runner’s forearm, sending it flying off into the great beyond as the zombie fell back, tumbling head over ass a few feet back. It didn’t stay down, runners never do, and the bitch got back up, scuttling on all fours (threes now, since it just lost an arm) like a shitty human-dog hybrid and lunged.

Max swung again and took the head clean off.

The fucker screamed too before it died. Like screaming was just the national past time in the middle of the apocalypse. Like it just had to let its zombie friends know that “hey, there’s a human here that hasn’t been bitten yet bon ape-fucking-tit.”

Bastard.

There’s a matching scream in the distance, in the direction where Max ran from. First one. Then two, then three. Then there was a chorus as the fucking things communicated. They were coming. Fucking zombies, travelling around in packs and shit like blonde rich girls with pumpkin spice lattes taking up the entire walkway when they traipse down the fucking mall at the pace of a crippled tortoise. Bitch. “I’m not dying in front of this shitty fucking camp…” Max grumbled. He wiped his bat (stolen off a wannabe jock getting his arm bit from highschool a couple of weeks ago) on the zombie runner’s tattered jeans. It helped a bit. There was still gunk and gore and what Max was sure was a tooth embedded in it, but he had no time.

He held it by the middle and ran away from the incoming horde, deeper into the woods. Towards camp. The bus dropped kids off here, and then David would come vomit sunshine all over them and escort them to the camp proper for the grand tour of Campbell’s poor excuse of a money-making scheme. The trail was overrun with grass, path barely visible at all as the trees stretched their gnarled branches out like grasping hands and shadowed everything with a thick canopy of leaves. Didn’t matter though. It’s been years since Max had been in this shitty camp, but he didn’t need to see the trail to know where the camp was.

That upturned rock that kinda looks like a butt was still there. Had to turn slightly to the left until he sees the tree with the sexy Marilyn Monroe pose where had to turn right in a 90 degree angle until he reached the mess hall. Max’s feet moved on instinct and habit, following a path that he’d known seemingly his entire childhood. Happens when your parents punt you out of the car like unwanted luggage and you have to stay in one place year after year after year til they don’t pick you up one summer and you had to be dragged away by some bitch in a uniform and a smile so plastic they could market her off as a hyper-realistic barbie doll.

Muscle memory took Max in front of the mess hall. There was still a redundantly painted ‘Mess Hall’ over the door, though a little faded now. The flag pole still stood; held together with tape and rope and sheer fucking spite. And even though the last time Max had called David ended with his screams and Gwen’s terrified voice panic-yelling that a zombie had made it into their house, he couldn’t help but think that no one else but David could have done this. He was the only son of a bitch dumb enough to ever come back to Camp Campbell in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. That he and Gwen were safe.

I wonder what happened to him?

Max didn’t spend that long standing outside and gawking at the pole like an idiot. No, he was going to be smart about this. He knew that there was an attic in the mess hall where Cameron Campbell kept his shit, and another attic in the pantry behind the kitchen where Neil wrote in his diary and kept biscuits and juice and who knows what else. If he was lucky, there’d be something for him to eat while he waits for the horde to investigate this sham of a summer camp like Agents Millner used to do. Hopefully they’d be just as shitty at it.

He’d be quiet and patient. A thing he used to be shit at, but funny how good he turned out at them when being both of those things meant continuing to live another day of this shitty life.

Max pushed open the door. It creaked a little, but it was unlocked and he could get in.

He didn’t know why he did it, but just before he slipped inside the mess hall and barricaded the door, Max threw the Camp Camp salute at the flag, back straight, arm out, fingers curled as he tilted his head up ever so slightly.

Just like David used to do.

#crowsas writes #au_gust_2020 #camp camp

[propertyoftoru]

Loki, 77

A/N: Okay anon I am SO sorry this took so long, someone at my work just quit so we’ve been short staffed and I’ve been picking up the slack, it was also my birthday and Endgame came out on Blu-ray today so I rewatched that and cried alot, But i finally rewrote this after it got deleted so here you go! I hope you like it!

Im not even gonna do warnings, its smut guys.

Word Count:  1398

“There’s people here.”

“I know.”

-

Sweat was dripping down your body, your heavy breaths echoing off of the walls of the room you were standing in. You were currently warming up for your sparring session with Steve, you had just finished your routine that he had insisted you followed, much to your disliking. He stood his ground when he said that you would be doing HIIT training and you threw a temper tantrum similar to the ones Tony would throw when Pepper wouldn’t allow him to have a cheeseburger. HIIT training was gruesome and miserable, your regimen included but was not limited to, lateral lunges, tuck-ups, plank jacks, squat thrusts, flutter kicks, and star jumps. You hated star jumps, you always felt foolish while doing them. You were required to continue those exercises with minuscule break times until your body was too exhausted to continue, and that was just the warm-up…. Steve never took it easy on you and you were grateful for that but you were always on the brink of collapsing by the time you exited those gym doors. You were currently stretching your already sore muscles by sitting on the floor and reaching for your toes, hoping for some kind of relief from the dull aches. You heard the gym doors open and shut and you looked up expecting to see blonde hair and blue eyes but instead you were met with silky black hair and piercing green eyes. He glanced at your exhausted form while striding across the gym over to Thor who was over by the weights. He engaged in a hushed conversation but his eyes continued to flicker to you every so often. You pretended you didn’t notice and continued to stretch while awaiting Steve’s arrival. You could feel his eyes burning into your back as you stood up and bent over while reaching for your toes. 

“Hey! Sorry I’m late, was just finishing up a briefing with Fury. How’s the warm-up going?” Steve said as he jogged over to you a smirk already forming as he noticed the beads of sweat dripping down your forehead. You stood up straight and shot playful daggers at the Captain. 

“Oh just wonderful, I can already taste blood in my mouth.” Sarcasm dripping from your facetious tone. 

“Good! That means you’re ready to start the hard part!” He said a little too excitedly. Little did he know that you had been practicing with Bucky and Nat and you had a few tricks up your sleeve. You began to circle each other like two lions in a cage, playful smirks plastered across both of your faces. You got into your stance just like Bucky had made you practice a million times until you got it perfect. Left shoulder facing Steve, hips lined up with your shoulders, knees slightly bent, left foot pointed in his direction, fists loose, right hand by your chin, left hand down and in front of your face. Chin down and eyes up. You could practically hear Bucky’s gruff voice repeating those words over and over again.

“Good stance, but your left foot needs to be pointed just a little more.” You knew he was testing you to see if you would glance down and check your footing, but that would leave you distracted and exposed for him to attack. You didn’t take your eyes off of him as you continued to slowly walk in a circle. You let out a breathy chuckle to which he raised an eyebrow. 

“Before we get started…you wanna warm up to get ready Gramps? Wouldn’t want you to break a hip.” You shot him a wink and it was his turn to chuckle now, a genuine smile on his lips. 

“I’m always ready sweetheart” and with that he was diving towards you attempting to get a hold on you. You were quick to crouch down and slide to his left throwing a jab at his ribs and then sweeping your leg at the back of his knee causing it to buckle. He lost his balance for only a second but it was long enough for you to grab his arm and twist it, swinging your legs around him and wrapping them around his neck. You used all your force and weight to pull him to the ground where you twisted his arm into an armbar, moving your legs over his throat and shoulders. He was laughing now, and at first you felt insulted and pissed but when he tapped the side of your thigh, signaling that he was waving a metaphorical white flag your smiled before releasing him. 

“Well done champ, You’ve been hanging out with Romanoff and Buck too much, they’re giving away all my weak spots” You stood up offering him a hand, which he took out of courtesy and not because he actually needed it. You opened your mouth to throw another witty comment in his direction when the sound of a slow echoing clap rang in your ears. You turned to see Loki leaning against the wall, a mischievous grin set ever-so rightfully upon his pink lips. 

“Well done indeed, champ. I was not expecting you to take him down so quickly. Color me impressed.” His accented voice stretched smoothly through the warm air, tickling your ears in the most delightful way. 

“I could take you down even faster, horns.” You snarked back, an equally mischievous grin splayed across your own lips. 

“Oh? Please do try darling. I would love to see a mortal attempt to- oof!” You cut him off by pouncing on him, but he quickly flipped the two of you over, pinning your leg down with his knee and wedging the other between his thighs, locking it in place tightly. He wrapped one of his hands around both of your wrists, using the other to hold himself up. His face was a few inches away from yours and you felt your face warm up from being in such close quarters with the god. He leaned his face down so his lips were resting next to your ear and he whispered.

“I always imagined pinning you down like this but with far less clothes and far less people watching us.” You could practically feel the smirk on his face.

Your face heated up even more because you were sure that Steve would’ve heard that even without his super-hearing.

“Loki! There’s people here!” You whined, squirming under his firm hold.

“I know” He only held you in place tighter and watched as you struggled under him. He leaned down to whisper to you again.

“Perhaps you should skip the rest of your training and meet me in the library?”

So that’s exactly what you did. You gave Steve a half-assed excuse before jogging out of the gym. You knew that he knew exactly why you were leaving your training session early. You entered the library and his lips were immediately on yours, tongue slipping into your mouth instantly. His teeth were biting down on your lower lip needily as he pushed you up against the now closed door. He wasted no time in using his magic to make both of your clothes disappear in a green shimmer. He lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his torso before lining himself up with your soaking entrance. He pushed in slowly until he bottomed out, with a pleasure-filled sigh he rested his head on your shoulder allowing you to adjust to his large girth and length. After a moment he placed both hands on your ass, gripping in firmly and then bouncing you on his cock. You nearly screamed in pleasure as you felt his length deep inside of you, brushing sinfully along your throbbing walls. He rocked his hips in tandem with you bouncing on him and the synergy of it all had him growling like a wild animal. 

“You look so fucking good pet, taking my cock so well aren’t you? I’m filling your tight little hole so nicely aren’t I?” You couldn’t even comprehend a response to his filthy words as your orgasm flooded your senses. Your slick walls spasming around him sent him flying into his own oblivion and he nearly dropped you because he was coming so hard. His seed coated your walls and he pulled out before gently placing you on your feet, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“You did indeed take me down, darling”

TAGLIST (OPEN):@spookyanairwin / @aar-journey / @kweenmarvel / @iamverity / @cora-notoverloki / @stfxlou / @nerdy-jelly-art / @rosesistine / @marvelfansworld / @spidey-mads / @calypsolotus / @jana-banana-fana

#loki smut #loki x reader #loki x you #loki laufeyson #loki #marvel smut #marvel imagine #avengers smut #avengers imagine

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

[slothgiirl]

forever isn’t for everyone part 10

We all head straight to the hotel, just in time for the first interviews of the day; throwing Jamie and Miles to the wolves. It's a nice place, that we won't enjoy. Having lost a day means that after using the hotel for interviews, we'll have to run to the venue. Only Lucy and the two band members get off at the hotel. 

The rest of us, unlucky as we are, have to get and attempt a soundcheck down half our crew. It's hell. 

Made worse at the thought of Alex holed up in the tour bus as we rush around. Unbothered by work as he's just Miles' plus one. Having stayed up all night with Miles, playing guitar and making my head want to explode as I'd laid in my bunk, thinking about how deft his hands on the strings were. Working myself up and worst of all-- missing him. 

Lucy had been right. I text her as much only to hear a snort above me. Unhelpful in everything except gossip. 

By the time Miles and Jamie get back, having been grilled to hell and back, Jamie looking like the worlds most uncomfortable toddler who's cheeks have been pinch way too many times by strangers, most of the set up has been done. The California sun beating down on us as we enjoy munching on the food set up for us. 

It's one of those days when I could care less if it's any good. That fucking hungry. 

Miles keeps glancing down at his phone, a bundle of nervous energy instead of the usual chaotic energy. He reminded me so of the boys in school who would talk back to the teacher and cause riots of laughter among students. He gets up, grabbing another beer and pacing around the room before collapsing into a chair once more. 

It's making me nervous. 

"You alright Miles," I venture, when he sits down by me, frowning down at his phone. 

"Yeah. Yeah," he says dismissively, not bothering to look up from his phone. "Just peachy doll."

I roll my eyes, but persevere. Part of my job is too make sure the talent's holding up. And we might not be friends outside of work, but you can't live on the road for weeks with people and just not care about them. "You're calling me doll. Now I'm really worried."

He laughs humorlessly. "It's all right Ellie. Really."

"Is it Alex?"

Miles' eyes pierce my gaze, the goblin child mirth absent in lieu of surprise. "No. No. sort of." He glances down at the ground, at the carpet the color of cat vomit, whose original color had been lost to time. "He's just got a bit of a headache. That's all."

"Right," I reply, unconvinced by his slippery gaze and the airy tone. 

" 'm sorry about whatever happened between you two," he utters bluntly. "Say the word and I'll send him away.”

"You don't really mean that," I note, fiddling with my thumbs, unable to hold his gaze now as color rises to my cheeks, "or else you'd have offered at the start of the tour. Not two weeks before it ends in south america."

"Technically," Miles counters, pointing his finger right at me, "its just a break before the festivals.  I can make do with out 'im." 

"I highly doubt that," I remark. Everything's in order in the venue. I'll give myself this one night to skip the concert. While people watching could be fun, and there was nothing like the energy of a live band filling the venue with hundreds of screaming fans, I was a bit over it tonight. Having spent the majority of yesterday in the same confined area with Alex, and being careful not to make it too obvious I was avoiding him, had drained me. 

I walk out the door and into the warm summer night. It was a nice change from Utah. The city bathed in lights as the sun set. Just like that an entire summer gone by. Tomorrow was a second show. Then Pomona. Then San Diego  Soon we'd be in South America and then onto Europe. Miles had been wrong, there was only a week before Europe. 

I let out a breathe as I wish for the first time in my life for a cigarette. All this traveling with a rock band and I'd finally picked up some bad habits. I walk down sunset strip and right into a liquor, wishing I had thought to nick some of the cigarette boxes that filled an entire bowl backstage. Thank god for riders. And next year I'd be doing it all over again with another band. The thought filled me with dread. I'd gotten used to Nick and Jamie. To Ben and Miles who often ended up ontop of tables dancing and dunk and pulling Alex up along with him. 

As soon as I take a drag, I can feel the knot inside my chest begin to ease up. More and more neon signs light up. It's not Vegas, with its kitchy over the top theatrics, but Los Angeles feels like every noir detective movie I'd seen. It's so much like the grimy and cheesy eighties action movies set in these very streets. If not for the actual stale smell of actual garbage. The cars honking every five seconds.

Streets clogged like heart arteries with cars. 

I slip into the first bar I find that's playing loud music. The strokes. God, how I used to dance around my room to their music at one in the mornings instead of finishing my assignments. 

"What can I get for you," the bartender, young, maybe only a year older than me, asks in her vocal fry Californian way. 

"rum and coke," I reply. 

"I love your accent," she replies, already pouring out the cheap rum and coke. I set down a ten-er and find a seat in a small alcove, the crushed velvet seat smelling thickly of cheap beer and cigarette smoke. I slump in my seat and watch people come in and out. 

At least I'd seen the TLC Chinese theater on the way in. Even got a picture that wasn't completely blurry at a red light. Months into the tour and my will to go sight see was dead. My feet would not, refused to even think, of walking another two miles down to the famous street. 

I was almost for sure spending my week off curled up in my bed watching random reality tv shows. 

After my rum and coke I grab a cranberry vodka, feeling like a teenager who'd taken a juice box to school. 

The door opens and a familiar face walks in, already chatting up a girl. It's Alex, with the sort of charisma that takes weeks of hacking at his reserved nature to get through. The girl, a acid blonde, is eating it up, giggling against his shoulder as they order drinks. 

It's heartbreak all over again.  

Instead of doing the rational thing, and leaving before I cry in a random bar, I sit there and watch. Watch as he wraps his arm around her, curling his fingers around her waist. She leans into him, laughing loudly like all these Americans do. Stumbling a little as they take a table by the entrance. Alex smiles evenly, even as she wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. 

Shouldn't he be at the concert with his bezzie mate? 

I swallow back bitterness. It's been three months. Plenty of time to have gotten over him if I hadn't been on the road with him for all of that time. That was all. As soon as this tour was over I'd never have to see his face again. 

Even if I wanted to. 

Even if my heart still fluttered when he smiled softly, eyes sparkling with delight as he got absorbed in the conversation. In Miles and even Matt to some extent. He was charming despite his distant nature. The very picture of having your head in the clouds. The dreaminess only made him that much more appealing. I down the rest of my drink, feeling my throat burn, before resolving to leave. This was a sign I should go to the Chinese theater. Get a photo of me among the walk of fame. Why torture myself about Alex? 

He'd been an ass. I had to remind myself of that night, of the week leading up to it when he wouldn't even give me an explanation for why meeting up for breakfast was too much for him. 

When I look up, they're gone. 

I sigh in relief. 

The night in LA is less black, then a midnight blue. The light pollution illuminating even the grimiest corner. I start to walk in the direction of the crowd. Even at eight, the street was as busy as ever. Like New York, like London, this culture capital never slept. It eased any reservations I had about wondering alone at night in a foreign city. 

I'd just get a taxi back to the venue. 

I'm almost down to the light when two figures catch my attention out of the corner of my eye. Down a badly lit alley. There's a homeless woman sleeping at the entrance.

I stop and stare. 

Alex's auburn hair obscuring his features, but I'd know him anywhere. Know the curve of his spine, the way he carried himself, curled in on himself in a way that could only be described as dainty. His lips against the blonde's neck. It's salt in the wound that's been reopened. fuck. I should've stayed behind in Utah. 

I'm about to turn tail and run when my eyes focus on the blonde. Her arms held still by Alex's hands. Back against the wall. It's a red flag ringing in the back of my mind. The flag that my mothers had impressed into my little prepubescent mind, both of them telling me what to do if I ever felt uncomfortable with a man. Both of them biting their nails with each word.

I stride forward without another thought. Jaw clenching shut. 

It doesn't take long to reach them. But my shoe makes an awful crunching sound as I step on a discarded crisps bag. 

Alerting Alex. 

Words well up in my mouth. Stop. What the fuck are you doing. Alex. But they all die on my lips as Alex looks up, his eyes meeting mine. Instead of the caramel color I'm used to, so bloody fond of. . .his eyes like a pair of rubies met mine. A look of utter devastation crosses his fine features. "I can explain," he utters in a rush, lips stained carmine with blood. 

My brain short circuits. Not wanting to make the connection. Not wanting to hear it. I wish I'd stayed. I don't want to know. I don't. Fuck. Jesus fucking christ. 

My mouth can't form words. Can only look from Alex to the hands, still clasped tightly around the blonde. Her smile dazed as she sways, all her weight on him. Alex lets her go. 

She sways like the branches of a willow tree in the wind, almost falling over before the jolt of the fall kicks her back into consciousness. Her eyes widen as she looks at both of us for a tense second. Her mouth widens comically into an O before she screams. 

Alex moves, surging forward and pressing his hand to her mouth, silencing her scream before it can make its way out of the alley and into the trafficked street. He gazes deeply into her frightened eyes. "Forget this night. You had a drink with a stranger and then went home. Now go on. Run back home and sleep the night away." He wipes the last hint of blood from her neck before he lets her go.

Her gaze slacks as he speaks, until the fear retreats. And just like that, like malleable clay, she walks out of the alley, and off into the night. I watch her disappear around the corner. Still shocked silent. 

"El," Alex whispers sadly, much too close for comfort. Having crossed the distance between us while I was distracted. A mistake on my part. A primal terror surging through my mind, telling me to run. To get as far from Alex as possible. "Why'd you have to see?" 

His eyes still unnaturally red.

I shake my head slightly. Aware of his hand reaching for my cheek, frozen in the air, as if held back by some invisible force. "No." I shake my head much more firmly. I don't. I don't want to make the connection consciously that the back of my mind already has. That my mind is insisting of as everything off about him falls into place. 

Alex closes his eyes, taking a step back. "I can let you forget this all if that's what you wish." When he opens his eyes once more, they're back to his normal color. It eases a lump in my throat I hadn't realized had built up. 

This. . .this Alex I might be able to deal with. So much more familiar. If not for the blood on those lips I had spent so many nights kissing.

I rup my temples. "No. No. What the actual fuck."

"El."

"Stay the bloody hell away from me Alex!"

"El please," he pleads, arms held up in a calming motion as though I'm freaking out over nothing. Like he's not a v. . .no. I refuse to go there despite the evidence. "Let's go somewhere to talk."

"I'm not going anywhere alone with you," I spit, stepping back. Wanting to put more distance between us. Had he done that to me? How would I ever even know?

"Of course not," Alex replies, voice wavering, choked full of emotion as he continues, "somewhere crowded-," 

"So you can brainwash me!"

Hurt flashes across his eyes, "I would never hurt you," Alex insists. 

"You already did." I state. Because it had been three months. And Alex, my first serious adult relationship had just-I was left heartbroken. 

He closes his eyes once more sighing. I could run right now. But something more complex than simple fear roots me to this spot in the alley. Alex rubs the bridge of his nose before trying once more.

"El," he sighs with centuries of built up melancholia, "please just listen to me and then you can decide whatever you wish. I'll never bother you again. But El-," his voice breaks. "El I can't refuse for this to be my last memory of you."

My heart flutters, still longing for him even now. Even with the blood drying on his lips. And I can't help but say, "okay."

#Alex Turner #alex turner fanfic #alex turner imagine #alex turner x reader #forever isn't for everyone

[zanesgirlfriend]

Strangers Don't Have Secrets | Jeff Wittek

Description: The reader gets into trouble at a club and Jeff saves the day.

Warnings: Intense language and a really gross slimey dude

Requested?: Yes, im going to combine a couple of requests here, if yall want different/more imagines with similar themes just lmk!

@simplespectres : Protective jeff maybe? Or drunk jeff confessing his feelings for you

@puppershnups : can I request just a super angsty Jeff imagine? Like go ahead and make me sob I love it.

@suzobawuzo : In love with your Jeff posts! How about something where he is jealous ab your friendship with someone (you might or might not be together yet) but it turns into a whole lot of fluff in the end?? THANKS <3

A/N: I know thats a lot of requests in one story but I figured i could make them fit pretty well. i also kinda based "the reader's" actions in this after effy from skins so if yall have seen that youll probably like this lol. Thank yall for requesting stuff, it means a lot :)

__________

Back again, at a club, on a Saturday night. The gang was all there, dancing and drinking as much as they could. Of course there was David, camera in hand, floating from group to group. There was also Y/N sitting at a bar, attempting to make the night go faster by talking to slimey men. Next there was what she considered to be "fuck-boy" territory. They stayed near the center of club, grinding and taking body shots off of eachother. Generally just trying to get as wasted as they could. Todd, Zane, Scott, and Jeff were generally part of this group. Most of them seemed to find a girl to dance near, except for Scott, as he was actually commited to a relationship. Y/N admired that about him.

She wanted to know if the boys ever wondered why she always went out with them, but never seemed to do anything. There were two reasons. One being that she could always be an extra Designated Driver, God-forbid something happen to David. The second reason being that she loved to watch. She wanted to study behavior, and know her friends more intimately than they thought she did.

She noticed how when nobody was talking to David, he became incredibly awkward. The way his smile fell off of his face, and how he curved his body to avoid touching people as he moved through the groups. She also noticed Jeff, and how he didn't like to dance. Counting all the times he would catch her eye, and then pretend he was looking at something else.

Recently she spent most of her time watching Jeff. Something about him being new to the group, and having a questionable past intrigued her.

"Is this seat taken?" A handsome stranger asked her.

"No, go ahead." She smiled. Out of all the men that usually talked to her, this one seemed the most sober. He sat in the chair next to hers, turning around to face away from the bar like she was.

"So are you here with anybody?" His breath tickled the side of her face as he leaned in. She noticed the very full beer in his hand, as if he'd just gotten there.

"Nope, just me." She lied, enjoying the mystery she created for this man to solve. She could tell the fact that she was alone got his attention by way of him immediately scooting closer to her.

"Well, let me keep you company." The man smiled, but something about his smile was off. It was as if he was too perfect. As if he was here to distract her from something bigger. She noticed this and immediately turned back towards the club, spotting all of her friends and checking to make sure they were okay.

"Sure." She tried to keep her answers short, not knowing what this man really wanted from her.

"Why don't I get you a drink?" He offered. This was a big red flag for her, but she wanted to really see what this man was after.

"Sure." She checked her phone for a second while the man talked to the bartender.

Hey can u make out with zane for a bit this dance floor is kinda dead

David had sent that text less than five minutes earlier. She decided that she wanted this mysterious man to get confused about her character, so she replied to David with

Sure, I'll be there in a min

"Here you go." The man handed her a martini. She hated martinis.

"I'll be right back. Keep an eye on me." She placed the drink on the bar and walked over to fuck-boy territory. David attempted to explain to her what he wanted her to do, but she looked over her shoulder at the man and decided to wing it.

She grabbed Zane's face, bringing their lips together, and slipping her tongue in his mouth. She could tell he was enjoying it. Everyone else in the group around them was yelling, shocked by the intense kiss. She pulled away, immediately looking back towards the man at the bar, a smirk on her face as he smiled.

"I'll see you guys later." She walked away. On the way out of the group, though, she noticed Jeff's face. He looked sadder than usual. She wish she'd known him well enough to be able to tell what he was thinking.

"Did you know those guys?" The man asked her as she returned to her seat at the bar, this time facing towards the bartender instead of the boys.

"No." She lied again.

"He looked like he enjoyed it." The man was very focused on her lips.

"Probably." She knew what the man would say next, hearing it verbatem in her head as he said it.

"Maybe I would enjoy it, too." He was very close to her now. Uncomfortably close.

"I don't think so." His hand landed on her thigh, a little too close to the hem of her skirt. Her sixth sense was tingling again, and she attempted to spin the bar stool to check on her friends. The man grabbed it though, stopping her from changing direction. "Where do you think you're going?" His breath was hot and sticky this time. His hand creeped closer to her skirt. She used the hand on her free side to reach for the small can of pepper spray in her bag, just in case things went wrong.

"Bro, back the fuck off of her." Jeff's voice immediately brought out a sigh of relief from y/n.

"And who the fuck are you?" The man spun around, keeping a grip on the girl.

"I'm her friend, now back the fuck off, she's obviously uncomfortable." Jeff's accent seemed intimidating, but not intimidating enough to scare the man away.

"I thought you came here alone?" The man was now angry with y/n.

"Strangers wouldn't be strangers without secrets." She spun her stool towards Jeff, admiring his firm stature for the first time.

"You gonna leave her alone now?" Jeff stepped closer to the two, sizing up the creepy man.

"You can't just come in here and ruin our moment, dude." The man stood up now. He had a few inches on Jeff.

"You didn't have a fucking moment, asshole. She wants nothing to do with you, fucking creep." The boys were really going at it now, so y/n texted David.

Bar. Now. Jeffs about to fight someone.

David gathered the rest of the boys and hurried to the bar as soon as he recieved the text. His camera was on, but he also didn't wanna escalate the situation even further.

The man was now really mad that Y/n had lied to him. "You fucking lied to me, you cunt!" He lunged towards her. Jeff jumped in front of him, protecting her, as the other boys tried to hold the man back.

She had dropped her mysterious persona at this point, genuinely terrified that someone would get hurt. She grabbed on to Jeff's arm, feeling him flex as adrenaline ran through his veins.

The boys underestimated this man's strength, for he managed to free his right arm, and land a right hook to Jeff's jaw. Blood dripped out of his mouth. Jeff was fuming now, not wanting anybody to take advantage of him, or embarass him in front of the girl he thought so highly of. Jeff slipped out of y/n's grip, punching the man in the nose.

Before things could escalate any more, security had arrived and helped separate the two bloody men. They also kicked the entire group out of the club. The man sat against a wall outside, trying to get the blood to stop pouring out of his nostrils. The gang walked back towards David's Tesla.

"What happened? Why were you fighting?" David asked as he pointed the camera towards y/n and Jeff. She was too embarassed to say anything, knowing it was all her fault.

"He was feeling her up, and she wasn't feelin' it. I wasn't gonna watch her go through that." Jeff spit blood onto the sidewalk as y/n linked her hand in his. She had a new affinity for him. Something about him protecting her just really turned her on.

"Jeff, stop being so nice, you make the rest of us look like dicks." Todd joked, causing everyone to laugh. Even y/n cracked a smile.

David dropped Jeff off at his apartment, and everyone "ooooooh'ed" as y/n got out with him. She thanked David for the ride and went inside with Jeff.

"You didn't have to do that for me, but thank you." She smiled.

"I couldn't stand seeing you with anybody else anymore. Especially after you made out with Zane." Jeff unlocked his door and held it open for her.

"Why do you care that I made out with Zane? It was just a bit." She questioned him as she looked around Jeff's apartment. She had never been here before.

"I gotta take Nerf for a walk, I'll be right back." Jeff ignored her question as a cute french bulldog ran out into the entryway.

"Answer my question." She demanded, watching Jeff hook up the dog on a leash.

"Be right back." He shut the door behind him as he left with the dog.

She spent most of her time alone thinking about how little she actually knows Jeff, and how what he did for her was a huge character development in her mind. The door opened, and Jeff entered with his dog.

"I care because I was supposed to be the one to make out with you." He said, pretending to be more focused on the dog than the girl. She looked at him quizzically.

"Then why did David tell me to make out with Zane?" She was very confused now.

"Well, that was just to get you to come near us, considering you always come to the club just to sit and watch us, which I don't understand at all." Jeff sat on the couch, y/n followed. She smiled at the fact that he really did wonder why she came. "But if you woulda listened to David, he was gonna tell you to make out with both of us." Jeff ran his hand through his hair, and leaned his elbow on the top of the couch.

"I'll tell you why I just sit and watch you later, but why did you wanna kiss me so bad?" She just wanted to understand him.

"Because, y/n, I fucking like you, okay?" He grabbed her hand. "I've been trying to show you that, but you always seem like you want nothing to do with me. Now I'm sittin' here like an asshole, pouring my heart out to you, when you probably don't even like me." He was talking faster now, his accent thickening as he spoke.

"If I wanted nothing to do with you I would've just gone home." She reasoned with him. Before he could speak again she closed the distance between them. Their lips locked together instantly, feeling like they were made to be together. His hands found her waist as she climbed into his lap.

"Tell me all of your secrets." She said to him as she pulled away.

"What?" He brushed a hair out of her face. Her eye contact was very intense as she looked at Jeff with a new lust in her eyes.

"Strangers wouldn't be strangers without secrets, and I don't wanna be strangers anymore."

#jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #david #david x reader #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik #todd smith #toddy smith #scotty sire #scott sire #davids vlogs #zane hijazi #vlog squad imagines

[imagine-a-killingharmony]

Drunk V3 Boys!

How about a s/o that has to deal with the v3 boys getting super drunk and then the after math of how is the hangover. ( bonus points if drunk kokichi says the " Finland" spongebob meme) please and ty

Quickly, just imagine them as adults like I am- underage drinking is a big fat “no”, look at me being an... dork. But anyway In the less dork-part let’s say this... I’m literally a giant mess who hasn’t ever been drunk or anything, I don’t really know the effects so we’re going to use those anime-type-of-drunk which is very likely VERY inaccurate or... somewhat-realistic I don’t know. But woah.

Kiibo (Error! Error! Overheating!)

After coming back from his last check-up from Miu you were expecting to be cuddled up close with Kiibo on the couch, watching nextflix- some cheesy Disney movie which you’ve already seen thousands of time before... that’s what you thought....

Till Kiibo walked in adjusted by an trembling Miu who had her arm slung around him, she looked down on the verge of tears muttering about being “so disrespected”, Kiibo sluggishly rolls his head up bursts of steam expanded from every inch of his body.

“... U... Uuuh... there was a function I added inside of em’ to test some booze I was plannin’ on drinking... it was... uh... successful but... J-Just take him- I don’t want to be fuckin’ called out anymore!”

Miu threw Kiibo in your direction running back from once she came, wiping at her eyes as she whined about “how mean” he was... you could only watch Kiibo stir awake, nervousness pricked at your stomach as you realized she made Kiibo try an alcoholic... BEVERAGE!

“... (S/O)?” Kiibo glances up at you, blinking once or twice as he took in his surroundings, you asked if he was okay- he groggily nodded his head. “Never better (S/O)... but... Miu... I-I was just telling her about how stupid it is that she puts herself down almost all the time when she has a brilliant mind, then her very inappropriate attitude- which she presents herself to cover up that wall of self-esteem issues she has... Ah... then there was me getting onto the fact that most people are uncomfortable with the sexual intuendos she has- and for some odd reason before I could say anymore she dragged me here...”

“... I rebooted on the way... once or twice...”

“... what.” Oh. Oh my god... He... What? Kiibo said that?

“... Yes... Hey (S/O) actually I-I have some things to say about you too, look me in the eyes, look at me right now please...” Kiibo cups your face, he looks you right in the eyes, those aren’t the soft loving eyes you know- those are eyes that... are going to fucking destroy you.

Kiibo holds your face tight, escape is impossible, he sluggishly rolls his head as a soft frown falls on his face.

“... You have your errors yourself actually... like... how you...”

...

...

You failed... you are absolutely burnt, just turned into soot by the end of his rant, he’s just sleeping peacefully under the blankets that you had gotten for “cuddle night”, you don’t feel soft at all- you just feel absolutely WRECKED.

Shuichi Saihara (Sad Drunk)

You had both gone out on a party together, specifically a reunion with your classmates which Kokichi was hosting... which already sported red flags but you all didn’t question it, that is until people started to drop like flies... people who drank the punch specifically dropped like flies.

Kaede asked who made the punch... when the relevation that it was Miu and Kokichi themselves it all fell into place like a puzzle, they spiked the goddamn punch.

One of the victims... happened to be Shuichi, a light-weight he hugged your arm tightly slurring and whirling, tears fell down his face as he cried and sobbed about the world.

“... (S-S-S/O!) It’s no fair... I-Iiiii never did anything wrong so why does everything hafta’ be against meeeee...? *hic* it’s unfair.... unfairunfairunfair!”

It’s the fifth time you pat his back, he leans in for a better hold of you so you can give him more affection, he loves that so please do go on, he lets out a slurred hiccup.

“... (S-S/O) a... aaare you seeing anyone...? You always were soooo pretty... and... aaand niiiiice... *hic* and... aaand it make me really happy... I-Iiii wanted to date you since forever ago...”

... How drunk is he to forget the two of you are already dating? “I am.”

Shuichi’s eyes widen, he presses himself up against you with an wail as he starts to cry harder. “Of course yu are- H-Hic- I’m NOT CRYINGF.”

You can’t help but to wonder how he’ll feel in the morning, for now you try to give your poor drunk boyfriend solace as you explain how the two of you are already well- dating.

Luckily, Shuichi falls asleep on your lap while you comfort him, the tears having tired him out... he put his hands around your waist, he bids the world “night night”.

Ryoma Hoshi (Excitable Drunk)

Ryoma wasn’t a heavy drinker, actually he had never drank an drop of the stuff ever, prison doesn’t allow those sort of luxuries, besides he just didn’t want to ruin his reputation by drinking at about fifteen or some shit.

So... he was old enough, the two of you were going on a date here... he’d was just chugging the stuff considering he wanted to see how it tasted, which was rather gross under further consideration... but what he happened to pick up is that he wasn’t feeling all that woozy... guess he ain’t no light-weight.

But he sure ain’t no god, it takes about three whole damn bottles for the effects to start to shine.

...It takes five whole damn bottles for him to actually feel anything, you kept a close eye on your boyfriend as he put the second bottle down with a huff, wiping at his mouth with a “wew”!

“... That was uh, gross taste, heh.” Ryoma pulled his hat up, his cheeks flush slightly pink as he looked around. “Hey. Hey (S/O) you gorgeous son of a bitch look at me.” As soon as you even give him your attention he fingerguns.

... Ryoma wobbly pulls himself up, he doesn’t look like he’ll trip, honestly somehow he still has his balance as he takes your hand.

“... Oh my god I just had an amazing idea. We should adopt,,, a lot of cats,,, not like,,, any cats,,, but... buuuut like an shop full of them,,, and name each of them something silly...” Ryoma’s eyes sparkle deviously. “... Or... like... like... steal everybody’s cats... so we remain the supreme leaders of feline...”

“... Ryoma... do... do you feel tired? Want to take a nap, as amazing ideas as these sound I don’t think your in the right state of mind for... this.” If you let any of this happen, Ryoma’s going to hate himself in the morning.

“I know what I’m doing... I have a license... gimme a sec...” Ryoma pulls out a piece of paper, writes on it, flips it to reveal in sloppy handwriting: “I knwo wat Im do”

You try to survey his features after writing that, all he does is shoot his fingerguns at you.

...Okat you honestly need to take a few pictures of this to show Ryoma later oh my god he’s wobbling towards the door to bring one of those plans he’s mentioned to full-glory, you locked the door for Ryoma, his drunken brain can’t comprehend how to use a step-ladder. You just go to get him some water...

Kaito Momota (... Tired Drunk)

Kaito wouldn’t drink... much, sure, he would totally forge an certificate to like- well, go to space but that was for a good cause! Stuff like drinking was meant to be done for special events and shit otherwise you might get hooked!

And he didn’t actually mean to get drunk on you! He promised he just... kind of mistook the wine in the fridge as the grape panta, he was thirsty- and really fucking tired! Okay? He didn’t expect when he chugged the whole bottle down for the world to... to... hnnnnnn... what’s the word...?

It took a while for you to notice anything was amiss, Kaito had taken himself out of the room to “go get a drink” then he still never came back, so you went to check on your boyfriend to see if he still hadn’t gotten anything, needed some help.

What you didn’t expect to see was Kaito Momota Luminary of the Stars on the floor looking back up at the ceiling mindlessly, with that bottle of wine held tightly in his hands.

“... D... Doo... yu... think it’d be a bd idea if I trie... tried to take a np here? Jst... slep untl a hangover fcks me the hell up, everything hur ts.”

... Oh god! That’s even more errors than usual, so it’s likely on purpose! Kaito’s DRUNK!

You go to get some water for him in the fridge, Kaito’s still looking at the ceiling talking to himself slightly hushed, you don’t know what he’s thinking but he looks like he’s having an ephiphany about the world.

“Holy... Hly sht (S/O) I jst realized how fuckin... weird that Shuichi’s hair stands up like that... he doesn’t use anything to make it like that so how.”

“... Kaito I don’t think your in the right state of mind to make choices like that...” You offer some water to him, his eyes widen.

“Why... Why is everyone’s hair dyed- Like is it actually dyed? Or is it just natural- how can it be natural tho... unless... oh my god (S/O)... we’re in an anime I can’t believe it.”

“Kaito I think you need an second...”

“No. No I know what I’m sayin- oh my god we’re the main characters in some weird anime (S/O)... that’s the only explanation,,, I have to tell... Tsumugi but my legs won’t work nn nn n n..”

... You just pat his head, Kaito grimaces... he was absolutely wasted so everything he said held no inch of truth in it, you just hoped that soon enough your efforts to help him better bare fruit... So he doesn’t make anymore odd claims like him and his friends are in some “weird anime”!

Winks at the fourth wall.

Rantaro Amami (Immune System Of God)

Rantaro... wasn’t a drinker... well besides those really fancy drinks that he usually saw when you both got out, those always looked like a magical experience to try out so he usually did buy those but... he’s never actually gotten legitimately “drunk”, it may be because he never drinks too much.

Then there was the time that had asked Rantaro if he had ever gotten in all words actually “drunk” he responded with a shrug: “I guess I do...? Uh, I’m usually in the right state of mind afterwards still... enough to walk...”

... This was a topic which needed much more exploration... so you went out to a bar together, you swore that anything he got was on you... he squinted but still he bought some colorful drinks in funny-looking cups, peering towards you while he did...

...

He wasn’t actually drunk even after drinking quite a bit, what is this man, how is his immune system keeping him awake? Rantaro chuckles... “Yeah, I think that’s enough for tonight.. come on let’s go home.”

You either failed or this task is just impossible, you take the hand he offers you and walk outside with him... the only noticeable effect are the times he almost bumps into the wall but other than that... nothing...

He knows how to hold his liquor...

Gonta Gokuhara (Clumsy Drunk)

This was Kokichi’s fault, that’s all you know... he offered something for Gonta, that’s what he told you when he gave you back a stumbling crying boyfriend.

“... How did you even get him to drink this- oh my god! Gonta- baby please go lay down on the couch...” You led Gonta to the couch to sit down, he sobbed loudly into the pillow almost falling off, you gave a harsh glare to the Supreme Leader who chuckled at your displeasure.

“I told him it was “Respect Women Juice! TM! Yeah he really just drank it without an inch of hesitance...! Then he fell over drunk, it was hilarious till I had to actually bring him here.”

Gonta let out another loud sob as he fell over off the couch onto the floor, crying about how “Gonta caaaan’t see...!!!”

“You... are one screwed up... mess of a person Kokichi Ouma...” Pushing Gonta back onto the couch you tried to reassure him everything was alright, Kokichi grinned at you putting both of his hands behind the of his head.

“Oh I know... I know really quite well! Good luck dealing with him!”

Kokichi left the two of you alone together, you just let Gonta cry against you about how everything felt so weird... offering some water and some hugs, you’ll get revenge at Kokichi for this... you swear to it.

Kokichi Ouma (Angry Drunk)

... How... Who the hell had enough of your boyfriend to go and make him chug down so much alchohol he got drunk, god knows, but he was now... here... and slurring about some criticisms you didn’t know he had...

“Like... (S/O) it’s so stupid... instead of like... liiiike... getting mad at me when I insult her she usually gets off on it... it’s so gross,,, like how horny can somebody be (S/O)? How HORNY can you be?”

“... Kokichi... do you need a...” Despite how you tried to chime in he always cut you off, with a half-awake grumble...

“No... No let me say this... Hiiiii... iii... so... so what the hell is with Kaito’s sense of logic....? I know, know for a fact he CAN be stupid enough to literally TRUST everybody he meets, like even if there’s hard proof that their an asshole he’s STILL by their side... what the FUCK.”

“Are you talking about Maki?”

“SHE LITERALLY CHOKED ME ONCE YES, Y ES I MEAN MAKI...!” Kokichi touches his neck, rubbing at it. “Honestly... Maki is such a damn... damn jerk... seriously... she’s made “do you want to die” her punchline to almost any jokes she makes, we get it, your edgy as hell!”

While Kokichi grumbled the both of you didn’t notice the door quietly open up... nor did you notice it until their footsteps were in the right range for you to notice them...

Maki trails into the room with an sweating Kaito Momota by her side, she held a card in her hand with the words: “sorry for making you chug beer” in a rather sloppy handwriting...

“... Makiroll, don’t do this...-“ The astronaut tried to stop the caregiver but it was too late, she was already sprinting towards Kokichi to land a finishing blow...!

“FINLAND!”

[To be continued (But not really)]

Korekiyo Shinguuji (Beutifial,,, ohbnn)

How did he actually... get like this, well you honestly swear to god you don’t know, he just appeared at your doorstep muttering about how beautiful humanity was... in so much typos it was almost impossible to decipher a word of what he said...

“... Korekiyo do... you want some water?”

“... hdhdbnnkklllllln.” Korekiyo press his head against the pillow lethargically, he groaned afterwords grasping at his stomach.

“... Is... Is that a yes? A maybe? A... no?”

“... nnnnnnnnnnz.”

“No it is! No it is...”

“Okay! So do you want to um... take a nap?”

“... nbcbxzzz.”

Well. Well you can’t decipher any of this mess, picking yourself up you go to the kitchen to try and take in all that’s happened today...

“... I’ll just get that water anyway...” You pray to whatever god that exists... to please... pleasepleaseplease never have Korekiyo get drunk again.

#mod shuichi #mod shumai #ndrv3 imagines #ndrv3 x reader #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #kiibo #rantaro amami #ryoma hoshi #kaito momota #korekiyo shinguuji #gonta gokuhara #tw: alcohol

[punchmedanny]

Chicago II July 25, 2018

Alright strap yourselves in cuz this is gonna be a long ass post WITH SPOILERS for Interactive Introverts. I will mark where spoilers begin if you want to read about pre show stuff. If you don't want any spoilers whatsoever, don't feel obligated to read this even if we're buddies! Feel free to send me an ask/dm instead 😅

Alright folks, let's go!

Playing the Waiting Game

I was supposed to get to the venue at 4 for m&g, but I got there before 3 because a) i'm terrified of being late and b) my uber driver made excellent time.

The venue was not open yet, so my bf and I walked to a nearby mall. We passed by the tour buses (presumably dnp's plus other performers'). There was a group of people hanging around them looking v stalkerish (please don't hang around the buses before the show)

We got back to venue around 3:50 and waited in line outside till 4 when the venue let us in. We were near the middle of the line, so if you want to be closer to the front, get there sooner lol

Turns out I was behind the lovely @noodlephil in line (although I didn’t know till after!)

Two internet friends were meeting for the first time and crying (it was adorable)

Inside, there was a table with staff that checked and marked our tickets then gave us silver paper wristbands

We got in a second line where we had a bag check (our venue allowed sealed water bottles, but that might vary) and were scanned by a wand metal detector. After that, staff scanned our tickets 

We went to a third line which was the actual line for m&g and were told the m&g itself would start around 4:30

Marianne came by and said we would be waiting a bit longer for "latecomers" (im p sure dnp were the latecomers because most people were there at that point haha)

Marianne walked like a frickin goddess and her voice was beautiful

She made a speech giving us a rundown of how m&g would work, which I recorded

The m&g area was set up in the lobby to the side of the theatre doors

Dan and Phil entered from our left (towards the back of the theate)

They jogged across the m&g backdrop where we could see them better and waved. Dan did the cutest bouncy jump ever while waving. He stayed out longer than Phil

There was a table to set your bag on as you approached the backdrop

The music was loud af and there was NO WAY to see or hear other people's m&g - it was v private even though there were tons of people

Marianne was at the very front of the line and asked what she could do to help. I was like uhhh (because I'm eloquent like that) and she asked if we had anything for them to sign. My bf had golf balls lmao and gave them to her. I said I wanted to take a Polaroid for them to sign. She had me turn the camera on because apparently they’d had issues with Polaroid cameras in the past

I thanked her for the way everything was being run and joked a bit while we waited

When it was our turn, the people in front of us were completely gone (I repeat: v private). Marianne gestured and verbally told us to go on in

Meeting Dan and Phil

Phil was wearing his red jacket and good vibes t-shirt just like the beginning of "week in the life" He welcomed us with open arms and I went in for the Phil Hug. Wow. Phil is an excellent hugger and his arms felt a lot stronger than I imagined. And, yes, he waited for me to let go first

As soon as I let go of Phil, I stepped to the side and and looked at Dan. He was wearing his II denim jacket over a white t-shirt. He also had his arms wide for a hug. And lemme tell you, that boi has a fuckin wingspan. Dan gave a more gentle hug than Phil and we let go at like the same time

I am not a hugger and wasnt even 100% sure before I went in that I would hug them tbh

After the hugs, I stepped back and took them both in that's what she said. My initial impression was confidence and class. Literally, the most confident people I've ever encountered irl

Everyone says they're tall, but they are, as my bf said, taller than advertised. He's 6'2 and still looked up to both of them. I feel like they're both close to the next inch up honestly

They are wide. Like we've all noticed the Phil is wide, but Dan is too! They are literal giants

The cameras do NOT do them justice. Phil looks his age irl and I mean that in the sexiest way possible. He does actually have pores and tiny wrinkles (gasp), but I think they only make him more attractive. He oozes understated masculinity. But he also has serious nerd energy and idgaf attitude. Basically, he seems kind of badass

Dan looked flawless. Like I know every so often people wonder about if he wears makeup and all imma say is either he does OR he has the best damn skin care routine and/or genetics ever. He looks like someone after they use a filter

I'd say dan is suave and phil has swagger

(I'm about to sound real fucking weird) They both had such strong auras or energy or whatever you want to call it. It was palpable and BIG - like it extended off of them a couple feet. Dan's felt more static-y, while phil's felt more like balloon about to burst. It merged together between them to where I couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started

Marianne handed Phil the golf balls and he and Dan just stared at them in his hand in confusion for a second then Phil said "golf balls?" before my bf explained it was because they were the caddy lads. They chuckled and Dan said it was "the only series that has any value"

I am now the proud (?) owner of photos and video of phil holding two balls in his hand and I feel really weird about it

Dan asked if I had anything for them to sign, so I told him I wanted to take a Polaroid to which Dan replied, "D'ya want me to attempt the rare Polaroid selfie?"

Then I actually gently teased Dan (!?!?) because I'm a little shit lol I said, "I successfully did one this morning, so I hope you can"

They both seemed mildly amused and he did the thing where he touched his chest lightly in mock offense and said, "Well, let's see"

Tbh I think this was why I got genuine smiles in my pic

Dan said, "Beautiful" and Phil said "Amazing" lol (it really was tho)

Dan described the signature he'd be doing as "the tiniest little dan" and he used the highest voice ever

Phil's signature was so bad im pretty sure dan laughed at it lmao

Dan offered another selfie with my phone (i love him)

I shook their hands before I left and they seemed surprised, but appreciative. They both had excellent handshakes: firm, but not too hard. They both had soft, warm hands with Phil's being about average and Dan's being warmer than average

Overall, they were incredibly kind and professional. The vibe to be was sort of like talking to a boss who isn't your direct boss at a work party: fun, but still guarded

The saying goes "Never meet your heroes," but whoever said that obviously never met dan and phil. This was one of my happiest memories of all time

1500+ word description of the meeting including a sommelier worthy account of how the boys smell

And here’s the (real shit) video of my m&g

The Pre-Show

After meeting the bois, we were immediately given our goodie bags (one of them was double stuffed, lucky me)

Staff asked if we’d be staying in the theatre or not. Upon telling them we’d be leaving, they let us know we’d need to scan out so we could re-enter later

We bought merch (tie-dye/marbled look tee, long sleeved tee, and denim jacket). The line was basically non-existant, so if you have VIP 100% get your merch at this time

We scanned out and were told we could re-enter at 6 along with general admittance ticket holders

We had dinner then got back around 6:10. There was no line this time and we went through security and ticket scanning again

There were so many people everywhere and everyone was so cute! Why are we such a good looking fandom??? The line for merch was EXTREMELY long. RIP those folks

So was the line for the restrooms (and multiple men’s rooms were turned into ladydoors women’s restrooms)

We got 2 drinks (both for me) then went to our seats. We were front and center - I could literally touch the stage with my shoe from my seat. At this time I met @phandommom and @crunchytoasted1

The pre-show music was loud af where I was seated (I actually put in ear plugs lol). Lots of people were dancing and I got to witness crunchytoast dance to “Ladydoor” live which was a treat. At one point various people were running across the theatre with various LGBT+ flags to plenty of cheers. ‘Twas glorious. People did the whole waving the phone flashlights thing and sang along during “Welcome to the Black Parade”

My bf got me 2 more drinks

Showtime! 

THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START!!!

It was so, so weird to see them onstage after having the m&g. I legit wanted to climb onstage and like be close again, but, ya know, I didn’t cuz I know what’s socially acceptable

We were called Susan. Classic

Phil was wearing waffle socks. As in socks with tiny waffles all over them

We sacrificed Phil to Satan and Dan died in a furry nightclub

None of mine or my bf’s answers got chosen and I’m a bit salty lol

We sacrificed Dan (the only correct choice fite me)

At intermission the line for the bathrooms was sooooo long omg. I got myself 2 more drinks at this point and called @h-owllslide to gush about the show. I spilled one of my drinks on my bf a little when I sat back down.

Danny was 3 centimeters away from loosing his dick and he got paint on his shoe. He seemed legit irked lol

Nick Jonas was in Dan’s box, but I don’t recall the other two cuz that was the only one that mattered imo

I got a piece of the sign and when they threw it into the audience it was a bit disturbing how everyone tore into it like a swarm of pirahnas

They wore Cubs baseball shirts over their usual shirts during the rap/song finale which was absolutely precious. I LOVED the finale so fucking much - it was magnificent

END SPOILERS!!!

Closing Thoughts

I wish I hadn’t drank so much (6 wines for those of you keeping track at home). I was getting real embarrassing by the end (as in screaming excitedly too much/ too often) and I don’t remember it as clearly as I wish I did. I was just freaking tf out and my anti-anxiety meds weren’t cutting it

I was struggling incredibly hard not to disassociate the entire time

I wish I could go to another show. It was so fun!

The following day, I had a major mood drop. If you’re prone to this, maybe have a plan to hang with someone and do something nice, but lowkey the next day

This was literally the most fun thing I’ve done in at least two years and was one of my happiest memories ever. We’re talking patronus conjuring levels of happy

If you can go, go. If you can’t, don’t feel too bad. It was EXTREMELY intense and not for everyone (especially m&g). Plus they are putting it up later, which I’m looking forward to because I think I’ll be able to better absorb it

Please feel free to ask me anything about the show! I’d love to go on about it lol

#omg this is so much longer than i anticipated #i mean i aint apologizing lmao #i will be legitimately surprised if anyone reads this in its entirety #it's mainly to help me remember because i have some memory issues #Dan and Phil #dan howell #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #DNP #interactive introverts spoilers #interactive introverts #ii spoilers #ii m&g #text post #punchmedanny #tw: alcohol

[sporecollection]

memorable moments from the lightning thief (1-12-19, chicago)

extra bullet saying this isnt in any kind of order, just as i remember

starting off, merch line was a mess but a mood

so as u go into the theatre theyre playing thunder n shit and its really nice

the set has a big banner up covering it and during prologue/the day i got expelled annabeth and luke rip it down and fuCKING PERCY SLIDES IN

HE PAUSES SO EVERYONE CAN CLAP ALSO

so annabeth and luke are extras for the ny museum of art and theyre basically making out

"kronos-" "KROOOONOOOOS"

prolouge is just good all together

"meet me by the sphinx" *cast turns around the sculpure. its a tiny sphinx*

grover was just so good i loved him

annabeth hitting percy in the head with a book during the "PAY ATTENTION PAY ATTENTION"

all of strong was lovely. i nearly cried. thanks

"aww, its a goat! and hes stuck in a trashcan!" jk its grover i died

the minotaur was big good. kinda scared the shit out of me admittedly

OH ALSO THE SHOW STARTS WITH THE LOUD CRACK OF THUNDER AND IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF MY GRANDMA

annabeth being rolled in during the weirdest dream is me

MR D MR D MR D

mr d sharpening an entire ass pencil down to its bottom to prove a point

MR DS MEGAPHONE

"MR BRUNNER???? YOURE A HORSE????" is still my fave line u cant change my mind

their sign was also good.

on the topic of luke, he came out in the end in leather pants and half the goddamned theater swooned

anyway

clarisse was so good! her voice was lovely and put your in your place was a god damned bop

ALSO WHEN GROVER GETS THE TRASHCAN OFF BEFORE THE WEIRDEST DREAM AND PERCY JUST "YOURE A FURRY??"

percy rolling in on the toilet during out you in your place

THE TOILET PAPER WAS GOLD

annabeth and luke are holding the flag on the little balcony area it was cute

the campfire song was exactly as i imagined it no joke

grover told everyone to shut up so he could sing his part and if thats not me

everyone comforting grover. annabeth was on her knees patting his hand it was pure

PERCYS JUST FUCKING SITTING THERE THE WHOLE ASS TIME

"uh, hes not doing it right???"

him getting mad and immediately getting claimed would totally happen to me.

also the lights they used were super nice

"is... is it a fork?"

"I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE TURNED HIM INTO A DOLPHIN"

the oracle of delphi was nice.

GOOD KID WAS MY SHIT. HE CLIMBED THE SET

luke telling percy he didnt have to take the quest and percy bascially saying fuck you im gonna take the quest

"and ill be the second first!"

all of killer quest was good

"dont get eaten by monsters" "who said anything abt monsters??" CHIRON, CLAPPING A HAND OVER CLARRISES MOUTH "have a great quest"

ok act two now

THE BUS BLEW UP AND CONFETTI LAUNCHED INTO THE AIR AND I GOT SO SAD WE WERE IN THE LAST ROW

the squirrel. thats all

(i got a lil squirrel plushie bc they sold them there and hes lovely)

my grand plan was so emotional it made me love annabeth 100000 times more

percy sending medusas head to the gods is petty and also mood

drive is so nice.

"hop on my tractor!" hes in a wheelchair pulling a whole ass monkey bar set with grover annabeth and percy all riding

grovers doin the steriotypical kick ur leggies in the air while layin on ur belly

he struggles to get down which is me

"... i have that effect" the entire stage goes red immediately i love ares

percy does the im flying jack pose on the motorcycle

also theres a bump and everyone jumps

"*COUGH COUGH* i think i just swallowed a bug."

BACK TO AT AUNTIE MS

"ooh look some carboard boxes!"and grover fucking SPRINTS

the entirety of the weirdest dream reprise

"you were waking people up. not annabeth." "... no mom i cant go to the movies... im on a quest... and i have homework"

all of the tree on the hill was so good, especially the stuff on the balcony

luke and annabeth hugging as thalia dies made me emotional

DOA DOA DOA

"wanna hear my single? oH WHAT SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THIS SWEET ASS RIFF"

her dress. good shit

all of doa

FUCKING. DJ CERBERUS IS JUST 3 OF THOSE DEADMOUSE HEADS OR WHATEVER IT WAS MOOD

also. everyone fucking rocking

HADES 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 KING

hes wearing a sparkly ass shirt and me too sis

percy blowing the conch was lit

"i like the gift u sent me." poseidon was such a fuckin dad

also. all of son of poseidon was good

esp ares and percy fighting

ESP THE TOILET PAPER WATER

"its a, uh, make your own sculpture kit!" sally starts opening it "NO NO NO ITS MEDUSAS HEAD"

luke avoiding percy made me sad

all of the last day of summer was wonderful. especially percy and lukes fight

"i know youll make the wise choice" "i will." AND SHE DISARMS LUKE WHAT A QUEEN

luke deadass STABS percy

all of bring on the monsters was great, especially beforehand when luke rips down the camp half blood banner

bows? good shit

stage door time!

everyone was just. so nice

the guy who played luke came out first and he was super nice even when turning down photos and stuff!

every time someone came out (even when it wasnt cast) people cheered

THE GUY WHO PLAYED GROVER WAS SO SWEET!! HE CAME OUT SECOND AND HE WAS JUST SO NICE!

heres a photo i took with him: