#immediately who i thought of when alex began cross examination

[vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses]

I'm just sayin'

#immediately who i thought of when alex began cross examination #she's scary sometimes #anti dr dawn hughes #i'm not really anti #but just putting that to be safe #anti amber heard #justice for johnny depp

[13uswntimagines]

Tater Tot Emergency (Soran x Child!Reader)

Request: I was wondering if you could do a soran imagine with the reader as their kid but the team doesn’t know and their kid is very sick with like cancer or something along the lines of that

Authors Note 1: So I changed this request up a little bit because I felt really uncomfortable writing about cancer. It brought up some really bad feelings and felt really heavy, so i changed to appendicitis instead.

Authors note 2: I’m not sure how i feel about this one, but i hope you enjoy it. Let me know what ya think or hit me up if you have ideas or just want to say hi. 

Emily and Lindsey loved camp. They loved seeing their team, and they loved playing footie. Yet, they weren’t as excited to be there as they usually were. Instead, their minds were more focused on a little girl just down the road hanging out with Lindsey’s mom for the duration of the camp. A little girl that had been in their life for just under a year, who they had never been away from before. They had heavily debated taking you to camp, but in the end, it was decided that meeting the entire team (besides Kelley who had been there during the adoption process), would be a little too overwhelming for your tiny body. They weren’t hiding you, they just didn’t know how to break the news to the rest of the girls. 

“Mom said that she finally got the tater tot to go down for a nap,” Lindsey sighed, sitting heavily on the bench next to Emily, who wrapped her arm tightly around Lindsey’s waist. 

“How was her fever?” Emily asked, leaning her head on Lindsey’s shoulder and eyeing the various pictures your grandmother had sent them. It sucked to be away from you in general, but right now it sucked all that much more because you were sick. You had come down with what they thought was a stomach bug, and all they could do was pray that it passed soon. 

“Holding steady at 101, and she couldn’t get her to eat,” Lindsey grumbled. 

“Did she try giving some to Roary first?” Emily laughed, grabbing Lindsey’s phone and examining the picture of her little one cuddled up with her stuffed Triceratops. You didn’t do anything without Roary, and your moms had used that to their advantage several times. 

When you didn’t want to eat your veggies, well Roary loved broccoli. When you didn’t want shots, Roary went first to show you that it wasn’t all that bad. The two women would be forever grateful to your Aunt Kelley for getting him for you. 

“Yeah, She even tried ice cream,” Lindsey mumbled, her eyebrows furrowing in worry. 

“And the munchkin still didn’t go for it?” Emily questioned exasperated. You never turned town icecream. It was your absolute favorite food ever and their Trump card. It was the one thing that could get you to do just about anything. Lindsey shook her head slightly. “She must not feel good,” Emily huffed. 

She hadn’t wanted to leave you in the first place, but your grandmother had convinced them that it was just a stomach bug, and you would be fine for the three days they would be at Camp. Now, she was entirely rethinking that decision. 

“What the hell are you two talking about. Who’s Roary?” Pino interrupted before Lindsey could respond, plopping down on the bench next to the two blonds, who shared a frantic look. 

“Um…” Lindsey started, not quite sure how to explain to the other woman that they had a 4-year-old daughter. A 4-year-old daughter who was currently not feeling too great. 

“Alright ladies, let's get back to work,” Vlatko called, catching the attention of the women who had crowded around Emily and Lindsey, who both sighed in relief. The crowd began to disperse, walking towards the field, except one woman. The only woman who knew that you existed, who sent both worried looks. 

“Everything alright?” Kelley asked, eyeing the two women’s distress. 

“We hope so,” Emily muttered, sulking back towards the field. 

It was halfway through practice when it was decided that everything was most certainly not fine. 

“Hey Linds, your phone is going crazy,” One of the coaches called out after Lindsey’s phone had buzzed for the 6th time in the last 5 minutes. Lindsey rushed over to the bench, grabbing the offending device, her eyes widening as she answered the next frantic all. 

“Hey Mom, everything Ok?” Lindsey asked, trying to sound calm, even though she most certainly didn’t feel that way. If her mom was calling then it had to be bad. She listened for a few seconds, her face becoming more worried with each word. “You’re talking too fast,” She said quickly, as Emily jogged up next to her, placing a comforting hand on her arm. “Are you at Memorial or NorthWest?” She asked, biting her lip and gesturing for Emily to start picking up their stuff. “Tell them to do it, we’ll be there as soon as we can,” She finished, hanging up the phone and shoving it into her pocket, and gesturing towards Vlatko, who came running over along with the rest of the team.  

“I got the bags,” Emily said as she heaved up both her and Lindsey’s bags. She didn’t know exactly what was going on, but she knew that it was serious and they needed to move now. 

“We need to go, now. My mom had to take her to the hospital.” Lindsey barked out towards Vlatko. He nodded, immediately. He knew about you by necessity, that way he would understand if any emergency were to happen. 

“Of course, do you need someone to drive you?” He asked, his back straightening and concern leaking into his voice. 

“No, we got it. Ready babe?” Emily said distractedly, checking to make sure that she had all of their things. 

“Who? What the fuck is going on?” Megan exploded, as several of the women behind her nodded. Sonney and Lindsey had been acting strange all weekend. They were glued to their phones and always whispering conspiratorially to each other. The women were going to get to the bottom of it. 

“Our daughter is having emergency surgery and we need to go, now.” Lindsey spat over her shoulder, grabbing Emily’s hand and moving towards the exit. Several of the women gasped, while others just looked on in shock. Kelley rushed forward, placing a hand on the women’s shoulders, and forcing them to turn around. 

“If you think you’re going by yourselves, you’re both out of your fucking minds,” She growled. She might not be your mother, but she cared about you and from the tears in both women’s eyes, they were in no state to drive. One person in the hospital was enough, they didn’t need any more emergencies.

“Guys,” Emily started, holding her hand out in a placating fashion. 

“No. She’s our niece and we always show up for family.,” Alex said firmly, standing behind Kelley and crossing her arms. Sure, they had just learned about you, but that didn’t make you any less their family. There would be time to quiz your mothers about you later, but right now, they just needed to support them. 

“Let’s get going then,” Kelley said grabbing the keys and rushing towards the vans. You were in trouble and they needed to get moving. 

“Lindsey, over here,” Lindsey’s mom called the moment she saw her daughter enter through the emergency room doors. Emily and Lindsey quickly made their way over to the woman, the women of the USWNT following behind them like lost puppies. 

“What happened?” Emily demanded, her mother-in-law nodded hastily. 

“Her temperature spiked, and she was in so much pain, so I brought her here. They said her Appendix burst,” she explained in a rush. Lindsey’s hands migrated to her hair, agitatedly pulling at the strands, while Emily rubbed her hands into her eyes with a groan. How the fuck did this happen while?

“Ah, you must be Mommy and Mama?”A tall, bald man in a white coat and scrubs approached the women,“And you must be the rest of the team?” He smiled gesturing to where the team had taken up residence in the cramped waiting room. 

“Is Y/n ok?” Lindsey rushed out, Emily nodded, wrapping her arm around her wife and looking at the doctor expectantly. They didn’t know what they would do if… the thought was too painful to even imagine. They shouldn’t have left you, even if it was with your grandmother and they were only a few miles away. 

“She’s stable now. The surgery was a success, we were able to remove her Appendix, and she’s currently getting set up in a recovery room,” He listed professionally. 

“But she’s going to be alright now,” Emily asked, desperation leaking into her tone. 

“Barring any infections and some pain around the incision, she should be fine. Kids typically bounce back pretty well,” The doctor nodded and all of the women took a sigh of relief. You weren’t totally out of the woods, but you could be alright.

“Can we see her,” Lindsey quieted, sniffling lightly, and trying to discreetly bring a hand up to wipe her nose. She felt a tissue being placed in her hands by a woman behind her, and she murmured out a thank you. 

“I’ll have a nurse come get you as soon as she’s been settled,” The doctor affirmed, smiling lightly, and turning to go talk to the nurse at the nurse’s station. 

“You two go in first, we’ll hang out here until she’s awake and ready to meet us. We don’t want to overwhelm her.” Tobin spoke quietly, rubbing Lindsey back, as Christen did the same for Emily. 

Lindsey and Emily’s breath left them as they entered your room and took in your appearance. Your little body looked so tiny in that bed, the numerous wires connected to you making you look impossibly more fragile. They couldn’t help the smile that cracked across their face at the sight of Roary laying beside you, a bandage wrapped securely around his middle in the place she assumed yours was. 

They carefully made their way over to you, Lindsey sitting on your right and Emily on your left, both women grabbing your tiny hands. 

“I can’t believe they bandaged the Dino too,” Lindsey laughed as she ran a hand through your wispy Y/H/C hair, brushing it away from your eyes. 

“Kel will be thrilled she’s so attached to that thing,” Lindsey whispered, running her fingers lightly over your cheeks. She smiled when your nose scrunched up cutely. 

“Mama?” You mumbled, your Y/E/C eyes fluttering. 

“Hey baby, Mommy is here too,” Lindsey smiled, leaning over so you could see her better, her thumb running soothing circles over your cheeks. 

“Hey monster, try not to move too much ok? You hurt your tummy,” Emily said softly, placing a soothing hand on your chest, to stop you from trying to sit up. 

“Dey fix Roary too?” You asked, squeezing the stuffed dino under your arm more tightly. The women smiled indulgently at you. 

“Yeah, and he said he’s feeling much better. What about you?” Emily asked, running her hand soothingly through your hair. 

“I’m otay. Can I have water?”You asked, Lindsey, raising her eyebrow at you.“peas?” You smiled mischievously at your mama, batting your eyelashes, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Kelley wants to know if her, Alex, Chris, and Tobin can come in?” Emily grumbled, glancing up from where she was texting updates to the USWNT group chat.

“Might as well bring in the whole crew,” Lindsey mumbled under her breath. Where one went the others were sure to follow, and though this wasn’t the perfect moment, she knew that the other women were worried about you. 

“Hey baby, there are some people who really wanna say hi, wanna meet them?” Emily questioned lightly, brushing the hair away from your eyes yet again. 

“You Team?” You asked, your eyes lighting up in excitement. You had only heard stories about the women from your Mommy, Mama, and Aunt Kelley. If they were half as cool as Aunt Kelley said they were, then you couldn’t wait to meet them (especially your Aunt Alex because Aunt Kelley made heart eyes every time she talked about her).

“Yeah, baby,” Lindsey said softly, replacing Emily’s hand on your chest to slow your excited wiggling. 

“Aun Kelwey?” You cheered. You loved the woman (not as much as you loved your mamas, but pretty close). She always told you fun stories, and she had given you Roary. 

“She’s there too,” Emily smiled lightly at your obvious excitement, standing and moving to go retrieve the said women. You and your Mama didn’t have to wait long before Kelley came busting through the door with the rest of the team following much more carefully behind her. 

“Hey short stack” Kelley smiled as she entered the room, (gently) tickling you and kissing your cheeks. The room’s atmosphere lightened at your giggles, and Lindsey and Emily shared a knowing look. 

“You knew?” Alex demanded, glaring at her girlfriend as the entire team trickled into the room. 

“Of course I knew that Frat Daddy junior had a junior of her own,” Kelley smirked, settling into her chair, watching as you tried to keep your eyes open. 

“Tired baby?” Lindsey asked quietly after a few minutes of watching you fight your obviously heavy eyelids. 

“Wanna meet the team,” You wined, quietening at your mama’s stern look. Just because you were sick didn’t mean you got to be a brat. All of the women awed at your dinosaur yawn. 

“Sleep baby dino, we’ll still be here when you get back,” Kelley said softly, rubbing your leg, as Alex did the same thing on your other side. They would be here for as long as you were to support you and your mothers. Plus, your mamas had some explaining to do. Now that they knew you exited, you had 20 other Aunts who were going to help you get better.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #soran x reader #soran imagine

[gloomyhearts]

Always by your side || Luke Patterson

Chapter twenty-two~ it's too much

2020

Alex gives all his frustration room by beating on his drums, the other two stopped playing, studying the blonde.

“Alex, you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why?”

“I know it’s though man. People say you never forget your first ghost. Maybe that’s true,” Reggie insists, “but I’m sure there will be others.”

“Yeah. Thanks Reg.”

This wasn’t the only thing bothering the drummer, his sister almost dying, again, brings him more heartbreak because she’s everything to him but he can’t tell the others.

“And Alex you’re a great drummer and a great guy okay? I wouldn’t let all that stuff get in between you and what you love.”

“I don’t know man. Sometimes a little fire can make things better on stage, like you and Julie,” Reggie adds.

“Uh, wha.. what is that supposed to mean?” the shaggy haired boy requests.

“Come on. Everyone can see the way you look at her when you sing, you never looked at someone else than..”

Everyone cleared their throats, “You know,” he coughs a few times, “you guys ooze chemistry.”

“You should never say ‘ooze’ again, but yeah I agree.”

“Okay, no. I have chemistry with everyone that I sing with. Seriously, watch. Ugh.”

He began so sing and closed the gap between Reggie and him, his hand grabbing on the raven haired’s neck, pulling him even closer.

“Wow. I see chemistry.”

Reggie needs a second to order his thoughts, “that was pretty hot,” he stutters. Luke lays his finger over his lips and put them shortly after on Reggie’s, he just clears his throat, “girls. Am I right?” They went on with their rehearsal.

Reggie was like always in the house sitting at the island, conversing with Reg, leaving Alex and Luke alone in the garage.

“Can I ask you something Alex?” he nods towards his friends, “whom did Brina dedicated the song she played earlier?”

“Oh.. mm. just this ghost she met at the beach..” he rubs his neck, avoiding his graze.

“Did you know Steve died shortly after his graduation in ’95?”

“No? the poor guy.”

“Is he the..”

“I really don’t know Luke ‘cause she had to leave before explaining further. The next time she’s here you should ask her yourself.”

“That’s the thing, I feel like she’s avoiding me.” I would ask myself Luke.

“I didn’t noticed. But you’re not even really here when she’s visiting,” he shruggs his shoulder.

Flynn’s voice echoes through the speaker and Carlos and another friend open the door in a mysterious way, revealing Julie in her crop top embroidered with butterflies; she takes a seat at the piano and begins to play.

During the song Luke’s eyes trailed to the Julie but he fights against the desire to examine her. Reggie nears him, looking between the two singers, raising one of his brows.

His hazel eyes wander through the crowd meeting with ones he hasn’t expected, the corner of his lips rising; she gave him a rueful smile, breaking the eye contact abruptly.

When the song cam to the end he was once again close to her, he sure was able to inhale her breath, this gave Sabrina all the reason to leave immediately.

“I can’t believe I went there again, you have to tie me down Willie, I’m not capable of thinking straight and staying here alone.”

“I know.. I know.”

“Ow,” she exhales sharply, her arm pressed on her stomach.

“He knows you’re here why did you get one.”

“It wasn’t him, Lexi and the boys.”

“I forgot.. I forgot, I have to speak to them, are you good?” she nods slightly and he vanishes.

“That wasn’t like the other ones. It’s getting worse.”

“Why is that happening to us,” Reggie asks, out of breath.

“It’s because you guys are in serious trouble. It even reached Wills.”

“Willie? Is she alright?”

“We need to talk.”

“All these jolts that we’re feeling is because Caleb put his stamp on us? Will was right, I should’ve listened to her.”

“He’s threatened by you. He wants you under his control. You’re the only ghosts besides Sabrina, to be visible to lifers without his help.”

“And you let him do this to us?”

“I can’t stop him. He owns my soul. All right? He owns everybody’s soul at that club.”

“With everybody you mean everybody?!”

“No, not Sabrina, well not yet, she almost gives up, she needs you guys really urgent. If he even knew I was here talking to you, he..” Willie sighs, “he would destroy me.”

Reggie crosses his arms, “so if we don’t join his club, the weird power outage thing continues until there’s no power left at all?”

“Yes.”

“What exactly happens when the power goes out?” Alex graze darkens, knowing what Willie is about to drop

“That’s.. That’s it. You’re done.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah. And what exactly do you mean by ‘we’re done’?”

“You just.. You don’t exist.. anymore. Not anywhere.”

Still shocked at the fact Alex questions, “what?”

“So we have no choice. We have to say goodbye to Julie, give up everything we’ve built together and work for Caleb? That’s some club you guys got going on.”

“Wait! Will mentioned something about crossing over.”

“Yeah, there’s another option. That’s why I’m here, Sabrina sent me. Please hear me out. You guys really need to figure out what your unfinished business is, you do it in time, you could cross over and be free from all this.”

“And what’s our unfinished business, we… we should’ve listened to Brina,” he ruffled his hair, annoyed from himself.

“I don’t know but since you all died at the same time, it might be something you need to do together.”

“Why should we listen to a word you say?”

“Because I care about you, Alex, and I hate that I brought you.. and your friends into this mess. Sabrina told me you wouldn’t believe me so I’ve to say. ‘Boys I love all of you. I’m doing this for you, please don’t try to come back or to reach me. I’m giving my soul to Caleb so you could be free.’ I tried to stop her but.. but she didn’t listened.. I can’t be away much longer. I’m so sorry. For everything,”

“This is all my fault.. I met Willie, Willie introduced us to Caleb.. and now we’re screwed. Losing Sabrina again, losing our soul, our music.”

“We all wanted to go see Caleb. Brina should’ve talked to us about it we could’ve helped her sooner.”

“We have to tell Julie.”

“No, we can’t do that. This just means more loss in her life. But if we don’t want Caleb to own our souls, we have to figure out our unfinished business.”

“Yeah, man. And how are we supposed to do that? All right? There was so much we wanted to do.”

Luke’s graze wandered to the neon sign on the other side of the street, “but the night we died, there was one thing we all wanted to do together.” The other spun around and followed his glare.

“Play the Orpheum?”

“Getting that gig was literally impossible. Even after people knew who we were, we had to hustle, call in every favour we had. It took us years.” Another jolt runs through their bodies bringing them to the ground, gasping for air.

“We don’t have years,” Luke states, eyes still glued to the sign.

#jatp fanfic #jatp x oc #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #julieandthephantomsimagine #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie fic #jatp luke #jatpluke #luke patterson #luke patterson fanfiction #luke x oc #luke patterson x oc #lukepatterson jatp #lukepatterson #luke julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #julie and the fat ones #julie and the podcasters #julieandthephantomsluke

[fuckyeahalexjo]

I know this is a stretch but here me out. Could you write a fix of jo receiving a call from the cops saying that they rescued Alex. Like he was kidnapped and then Jo rushes to the hospital and tells him about the letter and he tells her that it was all a load of crap?

Oh anon, I loved this prompt and couldn’t wait to write it! I love this idea :)

Jo tried not to react to every sign of abuse she saw. The teen was understandably jumpy and startled with every movement. Jo was attempting to move slowly to not frighten the young woman unnecessarily, “Okay Cindy, I’m going to press on your belly a little.” She nodded slightly but held her hands up protectively as Jo palpitated her abdomen, noting some irregularities in the upper right quadrant. Jo smiled reassuringly, “Okay, let me take off your cap so I can check for injuries on your head. Cindy tentatively reached for the ball cap, Jo gasping slightly when she saw the hair, suddenly remembering her from a few weeks back when DeLuca had tried to convince others that she was being trafficked. Jo regained her composure and began looking through the knotted and filthy hair to determine if there were any breaks in the skin, “You were here a few weeks ago weren’t you?”

The younger girl barely nodded, “Yeah.”

Jo finished her exam of the head and met the young woman’s eyes, “So you didn’t get the surgery you needed and there have been some injuries since then, haven’t there?” Cindy looked around anxiously, not yet responding causing Jo to look sadly at the cuff marks on her wrists, “Cindy, I promise I can help you and protect you. I know it didn’t go right the last time, but I swear….”

“Jo! We need you in bed three.”

Jo instantly felt enraged, feeling as if she was getting somewhere with the poor girl. She turned to see Meredith gasping in the doorway, “Get someone else, I’m in the middle of something and can’t leave.”

Meredith narrowed her eyes as Jo turned back to her patient, “Did you really just tell me no?”

“I can’t right now.” She then moved slowly to the ultrasound machine, “Okay Cindy, this is going to be a little cold, but I want to check if you have some injuries other than that hernia, okay?”

“Karev.” Jo looked up, this time to see Bailey standing next to Meredith looking almost ecstatic, which was weird for the middle of a massive influx of patients. Bailey then shook her head, her smile widening, as her tone became more motherly, “Jo….bed three needs you. Richard will take over here.”

Jo shook her head, still not picking up their tones, “No, I’ve got this.”

“Ma’am?” At this Jo looked up to see a uniformed officer and sensed Cindy tense beside her. She turned to comfort the young woman when the officer spoke again, “Josephine Karev?”

This caused Jo’s eyes to snap up, “Yes?”

“May I speak to you for a moment?”

Jo looked down at Cindy then back up, conflicted as to what to do when Teddy entered the room, “I’ll take care of her, Karev.” Jo then met the older doctor’s eyes to even see that she was holding back excitement, “You should go.”

Jo looked down at her patient, “You’re in good hands, Cindy. I will check on you later, okay?” She then addressed Teddy, “I was about to order a head CT. No external bleeding but on exam appears there may be some head trauma. Also was about to do an ultrasound on the abdomen. She was here a few weeks back for a hernia, but I believe there may be some fresher injuries as well.” Jo then walked out to meet the officer, feeling off balance by the behavior of her colleagues, “Did you need a statement? Because she really hasn’t told me anything specific.”

She looked at both Bailey and Meredith who seemed to be anxiously awaiting something when the officer spoke, “Ma’am, we found your husband.”

At this, Jo’s head snapped up to meet the officer’s gaze, as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively, “There’s been a mistake. My ex-husband is in Kansas.”

“Jo,” Bailey interjected softly and waited for Jo to look at her, “He’s here. He...he never was in Kansas.”

Jo felt her eyes widen slowly as what Bailey was saying sunk in. The officer spoke again, trying to fill in the gaps for her, “Apparently this human trafficking ring took him a couple of months ago and held him against his will. We’re still trying to piece together why. We’ll need to interview him, but the doctor treating him advised us to wait until tomorrow due to his condition.”

Jo looked up sharply, suddenly unable to breathe, “His condition?”

Bailey took her hand as Meredith put a hand on her shoulder, “He’s malnourished and dehydrated. He was assaulted while trying to get out of there today. Hunt is examining him and may take him up for surgery soon. It looks like he’s been through a lot.”

A sob escaped Jo as she put her hand to her mouth, “He’s really here? He….he’s been here the whole time?”

Meredith started to rub her shoulder in comfort as Bailey smiled sadly, “Like I said, Bed three needs you.”

Jo felt herself start to hyperventilate, suddenly gasping for air as she bent over the nearest cart she could find, “I thought he left me!”

“We all did, Jo,” Meredith pointed out comfortingly, “There will be plenty of time to figure all that out but right now, he needs his wife.” When Jo looked up stricken, Meredith smiled, “He’s been asking for you non-stop since Ben loaded him up in the ambulance.”

Jo suddenly felt much stronger and began walking in the general area, her gait uneven as she tried to quell the nausea that had come on. But once she caught a glimpse of him she stopped dead in her tracks. Alex was looking down at his IV while saying something to Hunt when he glanced up and did a double take, breaking out into the widest smile she had ever seen. Jo didn’t care anymore where she was or who was looking and ran the last several yards to crash into his chest, her arms wrapping him in the tightest hug she had ever given in her life. Alex reached up to stroke her hair and she believed she heard a sob catch in his throat, “You know, I’ve dreamed of this moment every day and none of what I imagined was as good as this.”

Jo pulled back to look at him, her hands reaching up to caress his face, noting how sunken his cheeks were, “You’re really here?” When Alex nodded, she shook her head, “What the hell happened?”

“They took me to keep me from reporting an incident I noticed at Pac North. Then decided to keep me around to take care of the ones they had taken for….well taken.”

Jo shook her head as she lowered herself to sit on the bed, “I thought you were in Kansas with…”

Alex smirked and placed his hand on her thigh, “They got nervous when some people wouldn’t stop texting and calling.” He then seemed troubled as he took her hand in his, “They knew where we lived and I couldn’t….I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. So I made up the one story I knew would piss you off enough to stop trying to track me down.”

Jo laughed to herself as she shook her head and reached up to wipe a tear, “Well that definitely worked.”

“I see that, Mrs. I-only-take-my-rings-off-for-surgery.” Jo straightened immediately and tried to hide her hand between her legs causing Alex to smile, “It’s okay, Jo. I just hope you didn’t actually file the divorce papers.” He looked up to see her giving him an odd look, “Or maybe you want to after all this.”

“Of course not. I never wanted to be divorced from you.” Jo reached up to caress his chest, feeling herself get distressed at how frail he really was. Wishing to lighten the mood, she tilted her head and gave him a flirty smile, “Well maybe the third time we get married will be the charm.”

Alex grinned, “Hell yeah it will be.” He then pulled her down to kiss her properly, Jo feeling all kinds of butterflies in her stomach, still in disbelief of how quickly the pieces of her life had fallen back into place and how amazing it felt to be back in his arms.

#jolex #fanfiction #alex karev #jo wilson #grey's anatomy #ask #anonymous

[rightnowyoucanttell]

𝘼𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙉𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 || .G.D.

(This songs an oldie, but It popped up on my random artist playlist, and I was inspired. Haha, enjoy ig..)

Title: Alone Again, Naturally 

Summary: Veronica Chandler seems to be only destined for heartbreak. After a failed attempt to rebound on her toxic ex, she makes a routine trip to her local 24 hour Starbucks, in which she meets a handsome stranger.. and oh,  who happens to be the spitting image to the photo of the tinder date who stood her up....

Relationship: Grayson Dolan and Veronica Chandler

Word Count: 2,034

Tags (*updated*) : @dzoint ​ @graysavant @blindedbythelightt ​ @tadadolan @heartofalionxo  @beatement-l   @grayswhore @tattoogray ​@saggitariusagirl

Author’s note: First, this is total shit, i’m sorry. Second, I  did the stupidest thing of all time. I gave my OC the same name as the main character in the novel i’m writing on wattpad (to self plug, or not to self plug that is the question; i’ll take self plug for 100, Alex) why am i so stupid? Well, i'm too lazy to change it so. 

Third, i was inspired when the twins talked about dating apps and just like idk where this came from, must be out of my ass because it’s shit. 

I actually laughed at that...

Fourth, feedback is like the most important thing to me, like ever? So, feel free to lmk what y’all think, if this becomes a series I will be taking concepts. 

Veronica Chandler is destined for great things. Planning her future, modeling and working as a struggling actress, she could go off and marry some lawyer. But, the only thing she did seem destined for was heartbreak.

Ronnie knew it had been too soon. Not even a month ago she had broken up with her ex, Jonathan. She also knew this, when she was attracted to a man on tinder with the same name, mostly because of the name. She wasn’t over the man who man who ruined her life to all hell. But, the comfort of a relationship was all she needed and desperately strived for.

Jonathan, was an artist, mad at the world needing to find himself. So, each night he did just so. Jonathan would go out to ‘find himself’ and along the way he found, Roxanne, Malibu, Dianne and Eileen. Jonathan drank, and he would physically and mentally abuse a good strong woman, who for the longest time couldn’t bring herself to walk out of his life.

Each time, from the first to the third she was too lonely, desperate and down on herself to let him loose. But, after he cheated on her with a married forty-year-old woman with four children, that was when Mama Chandler intervened and scared him half to fucking hell. That woman raised no fool, and if she did it was Veronica’s older brother, Noah.  Veronica was just a sad young woman who couldn’t keep a man because they used her.

This night in particular was her rebound date at a local vegan restaurant. A fancy one. With velvet rugs, chandeliers, expensive wines, however with decently sized portions. Veronica stood outside waiting for Jonathan. Who was described in his photo as muscular, a builder with brown hair and eyes and often in there messages boasted about such muscularity.

It was dark. He planned to meet her at 5:30. It was 7:30. Groups passed her. Parties on the street began talking, while the mannequins in store fronts slept under the lights. But, Ronnie was sure, this guy was genuine, and would be the best rebound. 

But, her plans and dreams were foiled when 8:30 hit, she decided to leave embarrassed and ashamed she thought it would turn out differently, she should have known. Her mosquito allergy becoming aggravated just as much as her. She sulked. She never really dressed to impress others, she wore heels, a leather jacket paired with a silk revealing top and boot cuts black jeans. That’s when the heaven on earth shone down upon her, a burning bush of sorts.

           A 24 hour starbucks.

As she walked down the sidewalk slowly, she was tired of being let down; tired of catering to the whims of others, ready to return home and make a stray of financially irresponsible choices online, she entered through the glass doors and into the small shop in Hollywood. The cool yet humid summer air from outside was left behind in the warmth of the shop, that’s when she saw him.

A tall handsome stranger, brown hair and eyes, with muscular arms. She fell for him immediately, he was gorgeous. But, then. Veronica realized something, the same man, the handsome stranger, was either the same person or a bicep by bicep replica of the man she was supposed to meet tonight, at that Vegan restaurant.

The fire fueled deep down, but she ignored it when she got in line to the left of him ready for her Pink Drink and croissant so she could run to the nearest Ralph’s and purchase two tubs of strawberry ice cream, she’d be needing it. The line shifted. She shifted on her feet, he did the same.

Veronica tapped her foot. That’s when the stranger started talking,”Whoah. Slow down there ‘Miss i’m on a mission’.”

His voice was deep and hoarse, he sounded like he had been having a night himself. Veronica ignored the voice that in some ways drew her closer.

“I’m Grayson, By the way..” the named stranger drifted. That’s when Veronica snapped. The man was Jonathan or she thought, and he was ignorant enough to poach the woman he stood up, again, she thought.

“How can you be so arrogant and glib, after everything you’ve done?” Veronica whipped her head to the right of him snapping out of anger and then with no response

“Ah, she’s brave. Calling me arrogant and glib, without even knowing me, cool.” Grayson scoffed and nodded, shrugging it off, and moving forward in the line before stopping yet again.

Ronnie tapped her foot miserable an angry…”Without knowing you? I know you. Your the kind of guy who’s shows up a girl, and breaks the rules because you think it’s cute.”

“Do You think it’s cute?” He lanced over to her smirking a devilish smirk. She scoffed and crossed her arms with her jacket draped over one of them, shaking her head as the crazily long late night line, shifted forward. ‘Grayson’ may have won the battle by showing her up, but his blatant lies would lose the war to Veronica.

“Spare me your routine, i assume that’s what this” she gestured to Grayson,”-cut it out okay? Or, i’ll make your life a living hell.”

“Sorry, not into a relationship at the moment,” he joked before turning back to face the options board, even though his order was almost always the same. Ronnie rolled her eyes. Ronnie's eyes were tired. She felt physically ready whoop this man;s ass, but mentally and emotionally drained.

“And, by the way. No. I do not think it’s fucking cute..” Veronica replied after a few moments of silence. Veronica mumbled cruising, barely audible to Grayson. Veronica was so confused, and so irritated, she didn’t no what to believe. She sighed and went for her phone fumbling for her back pocket, and opening the tinder profile of ‘Jonathan’, “Explain this.”

The screen illuminated a photo of Grayson with the name Jonathan below it. He had still had long hair at this point, right before it’s annoyance shaggy length.Grayson was shirtless in the photo with a chain necklace around his neck. Grayson squinted to examine the photo on the app and chuckled as he passed it back to Veronica.

“You, my dear, got catfished. By someone posing to be, yours truly. I’ve never had tinder and haven’t used a dating app since I was like, fourteen..” Veronica rolled her eyes at his comment before scrunching her brows in confusion but not enough to continue to pry,”..don’t believe me? Search ‘Grayson Dolan’ on instagram or twitter, you’ll owe me an apology.” Grayson snapped as hurt in reply and turned away from the fabric keeping a distance between the two. 

  Grayson felt for Veronica, he could hear the pain in her silence, the sadness in her eyes, the facade of a mask she put on,  even if he didn’t know her name, like her he had been pining for love. The same night he had been dumped via text by his ex girlfriend, also his ghost of days of business past, ex- assistant, before Sterling. He should have known it was a mistake, and Ethan warned him several times, but  much like Veronica with OG Jonathan, he blamed love for his feelings. 

Grayson was tired, wanting to head home with a cup of joe, but this unidentified juliet, across from him caught his eye, and there was no turning back. 

The line shifted. Hesitantly she opened instagram and search the name and she stopped, in her tracks. She owed this man apology, Grayson Dolan, he was a real guy, with a huge following however she never heard of him. She followed him, sighed and put her phone back into her pocket.And yes, he was good looking, she fell for the looks a little more than the name.

“..i--i’m sorry. Guess you were right, I was wrong..” Veronica managed to croak out. Grayson’s phone notified him from his pocket, he checked it smirked, followed her back and placed it back into his pocket.

Grayson looked over to the brunette Brazilian to the right of him. She tapped her foot nervously, as she picked her brain for a better apology. She felt herself loosen, knowing he was just trying to help, and didn’t stood up. Her demeanor changes, this man was a kind stranger who just happened to be the man in the photos she was catfished with, the real Grayson did nothing wrong.

“-., so this Jonathan, what happened?” He asked looking into her dark brown eyes, meaning it. Wanting to know everything about the stranger that made him want to know here. She laughed flashing a smile all the while. Her laugh, Grayson thought. The way she talked and laughed, when she was enjoying herself, it was all so lyrical, it made him want to laugh.

He looked at Veronica, like, really looked at her. The way the lighting reflected on her sparkly eyeshadow. Her dark green eyes, her long luscious and free riding dark brown hair, that had been straightened from its naturally curly form.

“..Well, I uh, met him on Tinder and he stood me up. I just got out of a nast relationship and he was my rebound, but he’s probably some weird guy living in his mother's basement-” she sighed opening up to him. She smiled at her own comedic relief comment. Hiding behind humour was something she did.

Grayson laughed, becoming serious,”I’m sorry, that sucks. What about your ex?”he pried further, there were only three people in front of them, all by themselves, swarmed by the world living in their phones.

“He was a cheater, a drinker and beater, who just so also happened to be named Jonathan..” the negative memories stirred up again in front of her. The pain on her shoulder came back, so did the reminiscence, drawing and pulling her into a melancholy flashback. 

                                                    ~~~

"Where would you like me to go, hmm? Ronnie!" he shoved her to the ground and she fell backwards dislocating her shoulder. She winced in pain, it had pulsated throughout her body. She knew she had to do this, for herself, the well being of herself for once. Did she want to? No. It scared her. He scared her.

Once he got the clout he wanted he changed, he was living off of her earnings, living in her apartment at the time, using her car, and she was forced to nod and smile along with it like some big ugly joke of a play. 

"How about for starters-" she managed between heavy sobs of pain and trying to prop herself against the reclining part of the sofa she was thrown in front of,"..hell? Take your toothbrush and your shave kit, and try some bleach in your cereal, i'm done. Okay? Go away, J!"

                                                            ~~~

Ronnie was back to reality when she heard Gray's voice,"..Safe to assume you have a type, then?"he asked really looking at the beautiful woman in front of his eyes.

 “Yeah. I try so hard but,”Veronica felt sad,” but, i’m never the one.” she felt even sadder memories of her ex flashing before her, she shrugged it off and continued,”…alone again, naturally, I guess.”

Grayson and Veronica were now the first in line,”Hey, let me buy your drink. Maybe we could be alone again, together…” Veronica smiled, and nodded.

“I’d like that..”

                       ~~~   

Later that night the two walked into the humid, yet comfortingly cool, heat together side by side after a two-hour conversation just on life.

“I, uh, better walk to my car.” Veronica said in front of Grayson’s porsche. Her jacket was around her shoulders and covered her arms,”I had fun, tonight” she held out a starbucks napkin she secretly wrote her number on, the wind tossed it gently back and forward. He smiled and breathed out a friendly, good night. He hated to see her go so soon, but would love to watch her leave.

“Wait, I never got your name-”he hollered down into the cold night on the streets of Los Angeles. Veronica turned around and continued walking backwards, her hair following and tracing her every move.

“It’s Veronica.” she breathed before giving him one last look with her deep green eyes and turning back down the sidewalk, heading to her car and driving into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Should I make this a series? If so, what to name it, i’m thinking lyrical and each chapter is a song name? lmk. 

AHH i'm nervous to post this, but fuck it, right? No day but today. 

i’ll stop. 

#grayson dolan #Ronnie loves Gray #grayson bailey dolan #grayson dolan au #grayson dolan x oc #grayson dolan imagine #dolan twins #ill probably delete this in the morning #grayson dolan fanfic #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins fandom

[imaginesforyourfandom]

Loving Her: Alex Morgan - Chapter 15

(Y/N) POV:

I was walking with Pinoe as we were both called to do media for the final. I found it convenient considering that her, Alex, and I had been in the news the most due to our own controversies. We had training earlier and now it was time for media. After this, I was going to be able to go back and be with Alex. It had been a day since we got married. No one knew that we had done that other than Becky and Christen. So far, they had not said anything to anyone.

“What are you going to say if they ask you about the video?” Pinoe asked as I shrugged.

“I don’t know. What do you say when your homophobic dad says you’re a disgrace to your family?” I asked looking to her as she sighed.

“No comment?” she said as I laughed slightly

We were ushered into a room and sat at a table as everyone quieted down. I had a little anxiety as I waited for the first question.  Pinoe took the first couple questions as I just nodded my head to whatever she said.

“Question for (Y/N)…” I leaned forward slightly as I listened to the question. “Obviously, recent controversy for you….is this something that is on your mind for the game?”

“No, not at all…I mean is it something that’s been on my mind? For sure…but when I step out onto the pitch the only thing on my mind is winning…so, I don’t think my team has anything to worry about.”

“I trust you.” Pinoe said as I grinned at the girl next to me. We moved onto the next question as we continued going back and forth answering everything.

“The Netherlands national team has repeatedly stated that they feel like they are the underdogs going into this game…that you guys are the Goliath to their David….what do you think?” I chuckled slightly at the analogy of David and Goliath as Pinoe looked to me.

“I feel like you can’t really consider the current European Champions the underdogs in any situation.” I said as Pinoe smiled and nodded her head slightly. We had already heard about these comments and talked about how kind of ridiculous they were. “I mean…they had the easier route to the final and they knocked out Sweden, which is great, but I don’t see them as underdogs. I see them as a phenomenal team with some great talented players. A team that is no doubt going to give us some trouble. I can’t wait to play against them.”

They seemed to accept the answers as the rest of the press conference continued on. Once we were done, Pinoe and I left and got to make our way back to the hotel. We were walking pass the pool when I heard my name. I looked up and frowned when I saw the one and only Servando Carrasco approaching Pinoe and I.

“I need to talk to you.” He said as I raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, you don’t.” I said putting my phone in my pocket as Pinoe looked between us. She had a nervous expression for which I couldn’t blame her. I also don’t want to be standing in front of this dumbass.

“Yes, we do. It’s about Alex.” He said as I stared at him for a moment. I figured he probably was just going to tell me everything that happened form their conversation.

“What are you going to tell me?” I asked as he frowned at me. “Are you going to tell me that you asked her to give you another chance? That you blamed HER for YOUR cheating? Or maybe you want to tell me that you kissed her when she tried to walk away from you?”

“That’s not how it happened. She’s lying to you.” He said as I rolled my eyes.

“I doubt that. I trust her completely. Listen, I’m only going to tell you this once. Stay away from her.” I said as he shook his head.

“I can’t do that.” He said as I felt my blood start to boil. I could tell by the look on Pinoe’s face that she could see that this was already getting out of hand. “I love her. I made a mistake. She and I are meant to be. I won’t give up until I get her back.”

“You really are the biggest dumbass I have ever met.” I said as he started glaring at me. “She’s happy without you. In what version of this does she leave me for you?”

“Do you really think she loves you?” he asked as I clenched my jaw. “You’ve known her what…2 years? That’s just the time we were married…we were together for ten years. You don’t just let go of that overnight.”

“If you really loved her, why now? Why after 2 years of being divorced do you come back now?”

“Because I realized I can’t live without her.” He said his face going from anger to sadness in 2 seconds. I’m supposed to feel bad for this bitch. Ha. I don’t.

“If losing her is what made you realize that, then you didn’t deserve her in the first place.”

“And you do? You deserve her? You can’t give her the life she wants. You’re nothing. Your own family didn’t want you…how long until she changes her mind and doesn’t want you too?”

“Hey!” Pinoe said glaring at him as I tried to keep my composure.

“Go fuck yourself Servando.” I said as I turned to walk away from him.

“No, I’ll just wait for Alex to come do it for me.”

I immediately turned nailing a right hook straight to his jaw. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting it as he stumbled falling right into the pool. I watched him go under before resurfacing. He looked up at me as he held his jaw. I bent down and pointed at him angrily.

“Stay the hell away from my wife.” I whispered to him as his eyes widened slightly. “I’ll end you otherwise. I don’t want to hear her name come from your lips ever again or I will make your life a living hell.”

I stood and turned walking towards the elevators as Pinoe followed closely. We headed for the elevators as I grimaced at the pain in my hand.

“So…that thing you said….” I looked at Pinoe who had a somewhat disappointed expression on her face.

“You heard that?” I asked as she nodded her head. I frowned realizing that maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said.

“Is it true?” she asked as the doors to the elevators opened. “Are you guys really married?” I nodded my head as she frowned.

“It literally just happened and was like a last-minute decision.” I said as the midfielder nodded her head.

“When did it happen?” she asked as I turned towards her.

“Yesterday. Becky and Christen are the only ones who know.” I said as she nodded her head again.

“I won’t tell. Clearly, there is a reason you didn’t tell everyone. I respect it. Just know we will be there to support you guys.”

“I know. Everything the last couple of weeks has been chaotic and it’s the one thing that made sense to me.”

“I get that. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. With Servando? Maybe not.”

“Yeah, I will cross that bridge when I get there.” I said as she nodded her head.

We stepped off to our floor before I immediately found my way to my room. I opened the door with Pinoe entering behind me. Alex was lounging on our bed. She was talking with Kelley, Allie, Christen, and Tobin. They all immediately looked over at me with wide eyes as I was visibly shaking. Alex was up off the bed as she found her way to me.

“I think you’re going to have ice that.” Pinoe commented as I hissed in pain upon flexing my hand a little.

“What the hell did you do?” Alex asked taking my hand in hers as she examined it. I grimaced at the pain.

“Punched Servando in the face.” Her head immediately snapped up as I gave her a sheepish smile.

“You did what?” Tobin asked with wide eyes. I glanced at her before looking back to Alex who was still giving me a confused look.

“In her defense, he deserved it.” Pinoe commented as I nodded my head at her.

“He did.” I said as Alex frowned at me. Christen came up behind her with some ice wrapped in a little washcloth. Alex immediately shot the other forward a smile before taking the ice from her to put it on my hand. I hissed in pain again as everyone was staring at me.

“What could he have possibly said for you to punch him?” Allie asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

“(Y/N) told him to go fuck himself and then he responded by saying he would just wait for Alex to do it for him.” Pinoe said rolling her eyes at my lack of answering.

“He said what?” Kelley asked with an angered expression. “Please tell me you hit him hard.”

“He fell into the pool.” I said as she grinned at me. I smiled at her, but it quickly turned into a frown upon seeing the upset look from Alex.

“Why don’t we give you guys a moment…” Christen said as she motioned everyone to exit the room as I stared at Alex.

“Pinoe knows we are married.” I said as Alex’s eyes widened significantly. “So does Servando.”

“Please tell me your joking.” She said with a frown as I shook my head. “How did that happen?”

“It all happened really fast.” I said as she shook her head looking at my hand. I moved my hand a little and felt relief wash over me as the pain in my hand began to subside.

“You should still ice it.” She mumbled as I nodded my head. I looked at her as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts.

“I’m sorry Alex.” I said as she shook her head looking up at me. She took my face in hands giving me a soft kiss.

“Don’t be. If he tells everyone, then he tells everyone. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me and I don’t care who knows that we are in love and bound to each other for the rest of our lives.”

“Kinky.” I said as she rolled her eyes. She smiled giving me another kiss.

“Please don’t go around punching anyone though. That’s a bad habit.” She said as I grinned at her.

“He deserved it.” I said as she nodded her head.

“I’m sure he did.” She said as I grinned at her nodding my head.

“He did!” I said as she laughed. “He was talking shit, so I had to put him in his place. As long as I am around, no one is ever going to speak ill about you.”

Eventually, I stopped icing my hand as we soon joined the rest of the group for some team bonding which mostly consisted of talking about our favorite moments from the tournament and how much we all love each other. Soon, we made it to bed as Alex and I were laying together. I was just about sleep when the forward jumped up, so she was straddling my waist. I stared at her with wide eyes as she stared down at me with a wide smile.

“Happy Birthday!” she said leaning down and pressing small kisses over my face. I smiled as she grinned at me.

“Thank you baby.” I said as she smiled.

“Do you want your gift now or later?” she asked as I smiled.

“Are you the gift?” I asked as she blushed. She shook her head no as I smiled slightly.

“Then, later.” I said as she pouted before nodding her head. She laid back down with me as we got comfortable again.

“I love you.” She said as I smiled slightly.

“I love you too.” I said as she grinned at me.

We fell asleep not long after that. When I woke up, I was being kissed again as I smiled. I grabbed the back of her neck pulling slightly so that I could take control of the kiss she was giving me. She let out a soft moan as she then pressed both her hands to my shoulders to keep me down on the bed. She was on top of me again as I smiled at her.

“What a wonderful way to wake up.” I breathed out as she smirked at me. Goddamn who knew Alex Morgan’s smirk could be so damn hot.

“Well…we are married now so…everyday…” she said as I laughed.

We both got up and started moving around to get dressed for the day. The final was today which was a huge deal. The Netherlands was going to give us everything and we had to be prepared. I had been cleared to play and was supposed to be in the starting lineup. I was ecstatic to get to play in my first World Cup final.

We made our way downstairs and I smiled when everyone said happy birthday to me. We were eating breakfast when Alex nudged me slightly. I looked over at her as she gave me a huge smile.

“So, I have a gift for you, but I also have a small surprise that I hope you like.” She said as I raised an eyebrow. “You have to close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes as the forward then moved. She placed her hands over my eyes as I groaned.

“I have to make sure you don’t peek.” She said as I huffed. She then helped me stand as I was turned around “Ready?”

She then took her hands off my eyes as I opened my eyes. My jaw dropped and my eyes started watering as Sebastian and Santiago stood in front of me with giant grins. I immediately threw myself at both boys as I was pulled into a hug by them.

“What are you doing here?” I asked trying to wipe away the tears.

“Alex flew us out. Did you really think we were going to miss our little sister playing in the World Cup Final?” Santiago asked as I smiled slightly. I hugged both boys again and stood talking with them until I had to leave them to head to the stadium. As we were exiting the room, I caught Alex’s arm and pulled her in for a kiss.

“I love you so much.” I said as she smiled at me.

“You deserve nothing but the best.” She said as I smiled at her. I really couldn’t love this girl more. “I love you too.”

We left the stadium and headed towards the stadium. As we got there, there were a ton of cameras as we entered the stadium. We got our stuff settled and then headed out for warm-ups. I walked out onto the pitch and smiled when I already saw some of the Netherlands players out there. My eyes found Lieke who seemed to see me. She smiled and came over to talk to me. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes which was mostly us just talking about how excited we were to play with each other next season.

Afterwards, we got to doing our warm-ups with our respective teams. The warm-ups continued for a little longer before we done and headed back into the locker room for final words before the game. I could tell everyone was feeling a little emotional as we got ready to walk out. Everything felt like a blur, as we were in our final huddle.

“Leave it out on the field.” Pinoe said as we all nodded our heads. “No matter what happens…this is our team and we did this.”

Alex and I were doing kick-off so we were standing waiting for the Netherlands national team to get in position. As they were running to all get ready, I jokingly tapped the ball to Alex who smiled and tapped it back to me.

“I love you.” She said as I gave her a soft smile.

“I love you too.” I said as the ref blew the whistle. I kicked the ball into our half as Alex ran the other way. She was so damn fast.

The game got off to a tricky start. The first half seemed to fly by with both teams doing everything they can to try and score. I don’t think any of us were playing that well to be honest. Kelley had got into a nasty head collision and I knew immediately that she was going to have to come out of the game. I groaned a little when another shot was missed. The first half seemed to end pretty quickly as we headed into the locker room.

“Well that sucked.” I said as I took a seat. Everyone seemed to let out a collective groan as we waited for Jill and them to say something.

“Are you good?” I looked over at JJ and nodded my head. I wasn’t going to let a bad half keep me down because this was the World Cup final and a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“I think we need to change tactics here.” Pinoe said as I nodded my head. We all continued talking about what we could do differently. After more talking, we got ready to head out to the field for the second half.

I felt a hand wrap around my arm as I turned towards Alex. She smiled and the grabbed my face pulling me in for a kiss. I smiled a little and then gave her a soft look.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We headed out back onto the field for the second half. Things sort of continued like they had before with all of us trying to score. In the 57th minute, I almost lost it when Tobin sent the ball into the box for Alex who was immediately kicked. She fell to the ground as we all started yelling for a card. I let Sam and them talk to the ref as I immediately moved to sit next to Alex. I rested my hand on her stomach as she stared at me.

“Are you okay?” I asked as she nodded her head. She brought her hand to rest on my arm as I smiled at her softly. She sat up and I helped her up as we got ready for the corner. I then watched ref put her hand on her ear as she then blew her whistle and motioned for a penalty check.

I looked at Alex who smiled at me as the other girls came over to talk about the possible penalty and what we could be doing better. I grinned when the ref came back and motioned for a penalty. I looked to Pinoe who immediately put her hands on her face. I walked over to her and gave her a pat on the back as she nodded her head at me.

I almost lost my shit when she scored as we celebrated going up one against the Netherlands. We quickly got back to the game as we continued playing. In the 68th minute, Crystal dispossessed Van de Donk and Sam immediately scooped the ball up. She then passed it to me as I ran upfield. I saw Alex was calling for it, but I felt like I had a shot as I moved the ball onto my left foot and took a shot. I watched as it rolled passed the keeper into the back of the net. I grinned as I stood scooping Alex up into a hug. The others celebrated with us as I held her for a second. I then ran to the bench and celebrated with the rest of my team. I couldn’t describe how it felt to score a goal after everything that has happened. Nothing but relief.

After that, we continued playing and trying to defend against the Netherlands. I knew they played better in the second half, so we needed to be as guarded as possible. As time went on though, I couldn’t help but feel like we had this in the bag. Our defense is too solid right now for us to lose here.

I had the ball and dribbled upfield a little to do a runaround just wanting the ref to blow the whistle. I felt my heart stop a little as the whistle went. My eyes immediately looked for Alex who was threw her hands up into the air. I smiled as I made my way towards her. I pulled her into a hug as she wrapped her arms around my neck. We stood there hugging as people joined our hug. Nothing else mattered in this moment. I’ve won a world cup with my wife. Nothing could be better right now.

“We did it.” I said as she grinned at me.

“We did it.”

We continued celebrating with everyone as we soon got our medals and got the trophy. Pinoe had got the golden boot with Alex getting the silver boot. Pinoe then got the golden ball with me getting the bronze ball. I was overjoyed at having got the honor of this award. I won’t lie I definitely shed a tear when we got the trophy. We then made our way towards the families and friends. I immediately looked for my boys as I spotted them. I ran towards them and hugged them.

“You’re a World Cup Champion!” Sebastian said as I grinned.

“Not bad kid…” Santiago said as I shook my head. I watched some of my other teammates celebrate with their families and smiled as I watched Kelley come over and kiss her girlfriend. Good for her. I turned and saw Alex talking with her family. I walked over as she turned and motioned for me to come closer.

“Congrats” Her mom said as I grinned at them. I talked to them for a few minutes as we then turned to walk away from them and head back to celebrate with the team.

“(Y/N)” I turned just as Alex took my face in her hands. She placed her lips on mine as I smiled. I rested my hands on her waist holding her close. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I said as she gave me somewhat of a shy smile.

“I hope that was okay.”

“You have permission to kiss me anytime for the rest of our lives.” I said as she grinned giving me another kiss and a hug.

Eventually, we made our way to the locker room where we continued celebrating though this time with Alcohol. I chuckled when I watched some of the girls just start downing drinks left and right. Though, Alex was one of those girls so…that might be a little concerning. I watched Christen pull a towel over her head as I made my way towards her. I pulled her in for a hug as she hugged me back. Kelley then inserted herself into our hug as she was jumping up and down.

“We did it! We won a World Cup.” She said screaming. “You scored in the final!!”

I grinned and nodded my head as Christen and her both smiled at me.

“That was a good goal. Your left foot is almost better than mine.” Christen said as I shook my head.

“Yeah well…my left food could never be as good as yours. No one has a better left foot than MY best friend.” I said grinning at the girl who shook her head. “Well, besides Alex.”

“HEY!” Kelley said pointing at me. “You admitted it! She admitted it! Oh my god. You guys!”

“You called her your best friend!!” Mal yelled pointing at us as I chuckled.

“And…? She is my best friend.” I said as they all started talking to each other with excited looks.

Kelley then turned towards everyone and started telling them what I had said as they all started freaking out over me calling Christen my best friend.

“I fucking knew it!” Sonnett yelled at me as I shook my head at all of them.

“Go celebrate with your wife.” Christen said quietly to me as I turned to see Alex twerking with Ashlyn filming her.

“Oh jesus…” I mumbled as I made my way over to her. She grinned at me as I stepped into her personal space. I was vaguely aware of Ashlyn still walking around filming everything as Alex wrapped her arms around me.

“You’re becoming a little drunk aren’t you…” I said as the forward shook her head. Damn her for being a lightweight.

“I feel great.” She said with her speech slurring a little.

“I can tell.” I said as she grinned at me before pulling me in for a kiss. I found Drunk Alex to be one of the most amusing things ever. I smiled into her kiss and rolled my eyes when I heard the catcalls from around the locker room.

We continued the celebrations all the way up until we left the stadium heading for the hotel. When we got back, we changed and I jumped slightly when Alex hugged me from behind.

“I have a gift for you.” She mumbled with her words slurring more than before. I turned as she handed me a box. It was small as I took the gift paper off of it. I opened the box to reveal a black ring that had a diamond in the shape of an arc reactor from ironman. The words, ‘To my safe place’ were inscribed on the inside of the band in silver letters.

“Alex…” I mumbled as the forward gave me a bright smile. “This is amazing.”

“The first night we ever talked you talked about liking superheroes and your love for ironman. You talked about how you saw yourself in him and the way he found his family in his team and the people around him. You said that it was the same for you because you found your family in the people around you.”

I bit my lip as I surged forward to capture her lips into a searing kiss. She smiled as I pulled her as close as possible. The kiss started to get very heated as we then heard banging on the door. She groaned as I pulled away.

“Still have a party to go to.” I said as she nodded her head. She went to open the door as I slipped the ring on. It fit perfectly which left me to wonder how she knew my ring size.

We left the hotel not long after that and headed to the party to celebrate our win. Once we got there, I immediately spotted Sebastian and Santiago. I ran towards them as I jumped up and down with them.

“Oh my god!” I said as they both smiled at me.

“Is this not the greatest birthday ever?” Santi said as I smiled at the guy. “Oh my god….I love your ring. What the fuck?” I grinned as I showed off the arc reactor ring that Alex had given me.

“Alex got it for me for my birthday.” I said as they both smiled at me softly.

“This is dope as hell.” Seb said as I nodded my head. “I need me someone like that.”

“I’m one lucky person. That’s for sure.”

I continued moving around and talking to people. I yelped in surprise when Kelley yanked on my arm.

“Come on.” She said as she pulled me through the crowd of people.

“Where are you taking me?” I groaned as we approached her girlfriend.

“(Y/N), you remember Chrissy.” She said as I grinned at the girl. We had only met a few times.

“Of course! Hi, it’s so nice to see you again.” I know she’s been in France since like the beginning of the tournament, but I have been a little preoccupied with other shit.

“Hey! Congratulations and Happy Birthday!” she said as I smiled. I went to thank her when I felt arms snake around my neck and a face bury itself into my neck. I saw Kelley chuckle softly as I turned to face my wife.

“I’m stealing her.” Alex said pulling me towards the people dancing. We started dancing as the forward grinned at me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The party continued as we eventually ended up on top of the bar. I had started drinking a little but was nowhere near the level that Alex and them were on. The hangover she was going to have tomorrow was going to be great to watch.

As the night continued, we continued having fun. There was a ton of dancing, singing, and all around shenanigans. Eventually, we departed and headed back to the hotel. Alex was very drunk as I helped her into the room. She smiled at me as she pulled me in by my shirt placing a kiss on my lips. I smiled and reciprocated the kiss as she gripped the back of my neck holding me in place. Her other hand came to my face as she pulled me towards the bed. She turned us a little as I hit the bed and fell onto my back. I stared up at her as she took her shirt off.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this.” She said as she climbed on top of me. I bit my lip as she started placing kisses on my jaw and neck. I need to stop this. She is too drunk. There’s no way she will remember doing this in the morning and that will honestly just break my heart.

“Baby…we need to stop.” I groaned as I pulled away a little. She frowned at me as I tried to hold strong on not giving in to how fucking good she looked in this moment.

“Why?” she asked with a sad look. “Do you not want me?”

“What?” I asked as stared at her in shock. “Of course, I want you…you’re just too drunk to do this right now. The first time we do this I want you to remember it the next morning.”

“Oh…are you sure?” she asked with a pout.

“Yes, I am sure. I love you Alex. I’m always going to want you. That’s never going to change.” I said as I gave her another kiss. She smiled into it as we kissed for a few minutes. I stood and sat her on the bed as I moved to grab some pajamas for her. I helped her change and take off her makeup with her keeping her eyes completely focused on my every move. I changed really quick before climbing into bed with her.

“Happy Birthday…I love you.”

“Thank you…I love you too.” I said as she continued trying to fight sleep.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled with her voice full of sleep as she snuggled into me as much as she could.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked as she shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know.”

“Then, don’t apologize.” I said kissing her forehead as she gave me a lazy smile.

“Okay…thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’ll always be there to take care of you.” I said as she grinned at me.

“I know. It’s why I married you.” She joked as I shook my head. Drunk Alex has jokes.

“Well…I guess it’s a good thing I plan to be here with you forever.” I said as she smiled sweetly at me. Eventually, we drifted off into sleep. I know this is only the beginning of the craziness that is to follow us the next few weeks.

To Be Continued…

#alex morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #alex morgan #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt

[spideyrights]

Partners (Series) - Detective Loki x Reader

IX. WHAT ARE WE?

series masterlist

O’Malley hands you the drawn maze, the only one recovered from Bob Taylor’s work before turning to Loki with a glare. Loki, upon noticing his heavy gaze, murmurs a sorry under his breath.

“Fuck your sorry. Save it for the girls’ parents,” O’Malley grumbles. Loki doesn’t snark back in response. The two of you stand, entering the office. Loki seats himself on the couch, observing the piece of paper with the maze on it that you had handed to him. You stood as far apart from him as you could manage, instead standing in front of O’Malley desk, your body facing Loki as you watched him entranced by the maze.  

“Well...at least I don’t have to worry about losing you to P.S.P” O’Malley pours out three drinks, you deny immediately and he walks over to Loki who looks at the drink before waving him off. O’Malley combines all three in his own glass.

“When forensics is finished with the guy’s place, we’re going to deploy the cadaver dogs,” O’Malley says but Loki doesn’t respond. He turns to you, almost to see whether you could ‘fix’ Loki and his inattentive state but you simply shrug. “Look, kid, we can’t always save the day. All right? We’re just cops. Janitors. So you lost this one, all right? Look you want fulfilment, you need to find a girl. You know? Start a family, have some kids. Let it go.”

O’Malley’s words become a kind of background monologue to the both of you. Loki presses his hands to his ears, his eyes so intently focused on the paper whilst you were intently focused on him. You hesitantly walk towards him, he moves his arms away, looking up to you noticing this before ducking his head back down as if he would see something new in the picture. 

“Hey, let’s go,” you say, an almost inaudible whisper of a tone. He raises his hand almost waving you off in a decline. “I’m serious. Leave it alone.” Loki’s head slowly comes up, meeting your eyes from where you stand, your eyes well above where he’s seated. Your voice had a kind of firmness that he’d never heard before, not to anyone let alone to him. He nods hesitantly, standing and slipping past you as you follow closely behind, exiting the office.

“Actually, (Y/L/N), can we have a word?” O’Malley says as you’re steps away from being out of the office. Loki turns back to you, wordlessly asking if you’ll be okay and you nod, shutting the door for him as he leaves. Turning back to O’Malley you offer him a soft, obviously emotionless, smile to lighten the awkward silence he lets sit.

“Listen, kid, I don’t know what kind of magic you’re working on Loki,” You shuffle uncomfortably, shifting your weight to lean on one leg. “But whatever it is, I need you to knock some sense into him right now. Those girls aren’t coming home. And apart from not being a total idiot just then, there’s not more he could have done. We need a brain like his around here so can you just make sure he gets all the clutter out of it in time for your next case?”

You nod and choose not to say anything. You even begin to approach the door but you just can’t help yourself. “Why do you think they’re not coming home?”

“Hmm?”

“You said those girls aren’t coming home.” “We’re over a week and a half missing, what do you expect? Things aren’t always happy endings around here, Detective, you’ll see that soon.” 

Your conversation is interrupted by a loud slam outside and you quickly open the door to the office, rushing outside with your hand over your gun holster. The sight you see, however, is slightly more devastating than the threat you assumed would be out there. Loki seems to have shoved all of the items off of his desk in one swift motion and now sat with his head in his hands. He then quickly grasped his keyboard and you jogged over to him, assuming what he was going to do. As you expected he began smashing the keyboard on the desk making keys spill all around until he felt a firm grip on his arms that caused him to drop the keyboard. You spun his chair around, your hands falling on either armrest to stop his chair from moving as you looked him in the eye. 

“Hey, you’re done, that’s enough.”

He says nothing and doesn’t move, turning to his desk and toying around with Alex Jones’ plastic RV. You make a vague grunt of frustration at his stubbornness, standing from your crouch. You notice the lingering stares of others in the precinct before quickly diverting your gaze from them and moving to Loki’s desk to tidy up the things he had spilled. You crouch down, sighing as you pick up the pieces of his broken keyboard.

“Hey,” Loki mumbles, noticing what you’re doing. “Don’t-you don’t need to do that, please.” He gently grasps your arm to stop you but you shake his arm off resulting in a very hurt expression from Loki. You reach over to the pictures he’s spilled, taking one in your hand, about to place it back on the desk before you pause, noticing something. 

“Where’s the...where’s the....” You shuffle things around absentmindedly making Loki furrow his brows in confusion, moving his chair back to give you room to shuffle around on his desk. You grab the paper drawing from Bob Taylor, holding the pieces next to each other. The pattern of the necklace seems to resemble the ‘maze’ Bob Taylor drew. Loki, hovering over your shoulder, notices too what you’ve seen and mumbles a ‘shit’ under his breath.

You’re interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, to which he reacts by patting around on his body, unsure of where his phone is. You, knowing him and where he keeps his phone, reach into his top pocket and answer for him. Loki watches intently as you react to the call and gives you a questioning look when you hang up.

“We need to go to Bob Taylor’s house.”

“Guys, let us have a look.” Rich, who you’d come to know as the forensics guy in charge, had called you and Loki here to take a look at the house they had been endlessly examining for a while now and safe to say the contents of the house was just as creepy as they had been expecting. 

“Two kid-sized department store mannequins, with their heads caved in. I talk to our lab guys and they told me all the blood we sampled from the plastic containers, pig’s blood.” You stood with your hand crossed over your body, your leather-glove clad hands rubbing your sides through your grey trench coat. Loki was undisturbed by the cold, his gaze fixed uneasily on the plastic bodies in the soil. The pregnant pause was unsettling and something felt distant between the two of you, like Loki’s mind was someplace completely different to where it had been this whole case. Someplace completely different to where it had been in the locker room earlier.

“All right you guys let’s get this covered up. It’s supposed to snow soon.” Rich’s words jolted you out of your thoughts and you and Loki walked side-by-side following him into the house. You stepped in warily, observing the masses of people bagging evidence. The house was eerily empty compared to when you had last been there. The pattern on the wall was a dull reminder of Bob Taylor’s fate.

“It’s like he’s play-acting. Case in point, except for the items IDed by the Dovers and the Birches, all the kids’ clothes that we found still had tags on them. And that maze book that we found, he made it. Photocopies, picture from this book we found in the attic. Ex-FBI agent wrote that,” Rich explained, pointing at the book which lay on the table.

“Finding the Invisible Man,” you read aloud. “I think I’ve read it before.” Loki turns to you with a quirked brow, a look that practically says ‘of course you have’ in no words and it makes your lips turn up gently, relieved that he still had a ghost of himself around. 

“Its about a theoretical suspect he believed was responsible for a bunch of child abductions. It’s totally discredited, I guess, but I read some of it," Rich explains and you nod along, vaguely recalling the story. Loki stepped away, pacing the length of the kitchen in thought

“Taylor was abducted when he was a kid. He ran away after three weeks. The captor drugged him on some sort of LSD-Ketamine cocktail. He never remembered and they never caught the guy.”

“Okay, so, he read the book and decided he was taken by the Invisible Man. Now he’s doing his best imitation, right?”

Loki turned away, avoiding eye contact and you breathed out gently knowing exactly where his train of thought was headed. “Yeah, he was doing his best imitation. He killed himself last night.”

“How did he do that? I thought he was in custody.” You sent Rich a looked that basically told him to drop it and Loki, who didn’t want to have that conversation either, said nothing in response, his mind clearly elsewhere. He finally paused his pacing in front of you, his eyes narrowed in thought, as he pulled out the paper maze you had handed to him as the both of you left.

“Hey, Taylor drew this. It’s a map to the bodies,” he says, shoving his finger at the paper to make a point which only seemed to startle Rich more as he sent you an unsure look. “We found the same design on a pendant we pulled off that corpse the other day. There's a connection, okay?”

“Connection is that it’s the last maze in the book. It’s unsolvable. There’s no way out. Your corpse is another ‘wannabe’, read the book” Loki was unimpressed by the answer, that was an understatement as a matter of fact. His face contorted into an expression of anger, one you had only seen a few times before. Loki was rarely one to show expression, never one to show emotion to others; you were really the only exception and he knew that. He was okay with it even, he knew you were the only person he would be vulnerable with and he’d subconsciously decided you were the only person he’d want to be vulnerable with for the rest of his life but he didn’t know what that meant or how to tell you that. So he didn’t. But now you were seeing Loki having a real. legitimate outburst, one he could not control.

“What are you saying to me, Rich? What are you saying? What are you saying, that this guys is fake? You’re saying that the girls are still out there somewhere? How did Bob Taylor get those clothes? How did the parents...positively ID those clothes?”

You and Rich both stood silently in the painstaking aftermath of Loki’s words. You had nothing to say, it wasn’t you he wanted to hear from. You looked to Rich who was evidently uncomfortable. You think he might have come upon the realisation you had on your second day of working this case with Loki. He doesn’t just want to solve it, he needs to solve it. 

“That I can’t reconcile.”

“You can’t reconcile that?” 

Rich left, sending random orders to members of forensics he passed, clearly just relieved to be free of Loki’s incessant questioning. Loki turned to you, expecting you to be ready to leave but instead he saw your eyes fixated in the distance out of concentration. 

“What? What is it?” he questioned, noting your thoughtful expression. “Your notebook, can I have it?” you mumbled, your mind still deep in thought, before you finally broke your gaze away from the window and to Loki. He nodded, mildly confused, before rifling through his pockets and pulling the notebook out. As soon as he handed it to you, you flicked through it hurriedly alerting him and making him stand beside you, peering to see what you had landed on in his own notebook.

IN THE HOUSE WINDOW - OPEN?

Upon reading his own scrawls, it clicked in his brain. Your eyes met and shared the same thought before you both hurried out of the house. 

Arriving at the Dover’s, Loki wasted no time. He parked his car in the middle of the road and you both jogged the distance round the back of the house. He jumped the fence first then offered his arm as support for you to do the same. You landed uneasily in your slightly-heeled boots but wasted no time, rushing to the small muddy bush patch directly underneath the window. Loki pulled a pen from his pocket, raising the item that you pointed at deep in the mud now.

The pink bunny sock.

When you got the call that Joy had been found and was safely in the hospital you swore you were dreaming. You could barely get the words out to tell Loki and once you did it was a blur. You arrived at the hospital, the nurses had warned you that Joy wouldn’t be in a good state to question for a while and you caught a glimpse of the girl you had only seen photos of as you passed by her room. And now you and Loki sat in the only deserted corner of this hospital floor with cheap and admittedly really gross cups of coffee in hand. You were snuggled up in one seat, your legs up on the chair, knees pressed to your chest and your back resting on the wall as exhaustion began to set through. Loki who was sitting next to you, arms resting on his legs as he was leant forward, texting someone, didn’t look half as tired.

“Who you texting?” you mumble, nudging his side with one of your knees, desperately trying to start a conversation. 

“No one,” he replied, shutting off his phone and shoving it into his coat pocket. You furrowed your brows. Why wouldn’t he tell you who he was texting if it was work related? Unless it wasn’t work related. If it wasn’t work related then who could it possibly be? Loki didn’t have family, you weren’t so sure about friends so who the hell could he be texting? The panic set through your body. Oh my gosh, he must have a girlfriend, you thought, or maybe a wife, what if he has a wife?

As if Loki could hear your catastrophising in your head, he leant back in his chair, turning his head slightly to meet you at eye level. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t it be? When are things not okay? I mean that’s a stupid question because we’re detectives who deal with crime but like-” “Woah, okay, easy. Maybe that's enough of this for today,” he reached his hand out to grasp your coffee cup, setting it down on the floor with a soft smirk which you returned. “Clearly everything is not okay.”

The smile dropped from your face in an instant. Loki seemed to be able to sense where you were going with this as his body tensed in response. He quickly diverted his eyes from you, looking ahead to the peeling hospital wall that was littered with posters for various health checks and medical products. He didn’t think he’d ever focused so hard on these posters until now.

“What are we?” His eyes pressed shut, almost scared of the question and certainly trying to avoid it. In his silence you turned to him, making clear you expected an answer.

“I wish I could tell you.” 

You didn’t have much to say to that. You were glad that you were being validated here. Loki too acknowledged that you were not simply partners, there was something else here. “In the changing room-”

“Yeah, that was stupid. I wasn’t thinking straight, I’m sorry, I just...” he trails off, not realising the impact of his words though you certainly feel them. So he didn’t actually want to kiss you then? You swallow hard. 

“Yeah, right, this is nothing,” you speak sharply. In so sharp a tone that Loki redirects his attention to you. You stand, unable to sit near him for much longer. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.”

“Did you- do you think differently?” 

“Well of course not.”

“(Y/N)-”

You feel as though the world is trying to make up for this devastation when you hear commotion from the other end of the corridor making Loki shoot up out of his chair and both of you immediately head in the direction of the sound. You of course feel significantly less lucky when you see Keller walking rapidly through the hospital headed for the exit.

“I said nobody’s allowed in that room but her family. Hey! Where are you going? Hey! Where’s he going? Hey! Call downstairs. Don’t let him go,” Loki calls out to the front desk.

“Hey, where’s he going?” you question Mrs Dover as you pass by her and she mumbles a faint ‘I don’t know’ with a shrug, making you turn to Loki with wide eyes and before you know it Loki is following him, hot on his trail.

“Wait here!” he shouts after you and so you halt in your stops watching as you see the man you like hurry out of your view, your heart pounding out of your chest knowing he’s potentially running directly into danger. Shit, you think, I really like him. 

tags: @mother-dearest-loves-me  @mariamermaid@vigilanteavengerqueen   @superheroforrent  @peterbxrnes   @igotanaddixon  @blablasomethingblabla  @cafeaufeels   @montypythonsholysnail  @carolines24   @chimera4plums   @emma-frxst  @oswald-1998  @iv-nyc  @twowaymirrorx  @skarlettmikaelson  @deviantly-gayy 

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal one shot #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction #detective loki #detective loki x reader #detective loki fic #david loki #david loki x reader #david loki fic

[alexia-exalias-ask]

Trust-me

Since the tragic event with Henrietta's father, Exalia cannot help but be very tense about what she has discovered. How could he hurt her? and again, for a long time ?! 

She and Alexia kept it for a while and ended up settling in with someone else. Not because they didn't want to keep it for long. On the contrary, they would be delighted to keep it under their roof (especially for Exalia) but let's say that it could be financially complicated to have a second dependent (especially a minor) and in the cases, Henrietta had made her decision not to not stay. Exalia was quite upset by her sudden departure despite having tried to hold her back. But without really forcing her and especially not making her feel guilty. 

Henrietta promised to always see her when she could and to continue going out as they always do. But this time she wanted to know where is she taking refuge. She couldn't hold back any longer. 

At the end of their meeting, they left in front of Exa's accommodation and Henrietta left as soon as Exalia turned around. She waited until she advanced further to follow her from afar. They continued their routes until Henrietta entered a house and this stopped the pursuit for Exalia. 

She examined the house in the smallest detail to immediately leave the place to return 

Arriving at home, she goes back to her room to change herself until she hears a voice that was ringing in her ear. 

"It's unhealthy what you're doing." 

And a silouette appeared in the mirror which is only its creator. 

"I don't see how it concerns you ..."

"Exa! Do you realize what you're doing !? You just stalked to girlfriend up to her new house! Did you think what would happen if you got noticed ?! How would she see you after that? !? "

 "I had to do it"

 "Exalia ... you have become TOO possessive and suspicious since that evening! I'm afraid you will make the same mistakes you made in the past ..." 

"NO ... shut up! I already told you never to talk about this again! And I have always been like that and it will not change!" 

"I have always been like this since I was born, representing your faults repressing that you sank in your thoughts. I have been with you, with ... this girl and I would remain so as such with Henrietta. Even if ... if I wanted to change, not be like that anymore. It won't work! "

"But ... there ... you were about to follow her home. I feel like ... you don't trust her ..." 

But at his words, she was too hard to hear for Exalia who began to burst out in anger.

 "I TRUST HER, ALEX! I ALWAYS DO TO HER! THESE ARE THE OTHERS I DON'T HAVE! I can't stand losing someone I love sentimentally." 

And tears started to flow down her face. 

"I don't want to lose her ... "

"I can't ... not again ..." 

She went to the bed and hid her face on the pillow, crying unstoppable tears. Alexia got out of the mirror to approach her. 

"Exa! Exa! Exalia! Look at me! Look at me ~ 

She pulled her face out of the pillow and Alex take her hand. 

"Listen to me. You will not lose her because you love her as she loves you too. She is very grateful for all that you have done. But know that there are limits which must not be crossed. Just ... trust her and ask her if you want to know where she lives. If she refuses to tell you, give her time to let her tell you. It's very difficult to change your life so suddenly. " 

"Yeah ... You are probably right. You really are a wise woman" 

"I am wisdom and you are strength of mind"

"For others than for us"

"Come on! Let's go to sleep. The night was long ..." 

"Yeah ... Here" 

Exalia transformed to leave the place for Alexia 

"Thank you ... Oh! Ed sent me a message!" 

"What's wrong with him yet?" she said mockingly 

Alexia doesn't answer but she smiles after reading the message

 "Yep ... whatever he says, you're in love" 

"Good night"

"Good night too Al

(To be continue)

#👼 The angel One: Alexia #😈 The little demon: Exalia #🌼Exalietta🌼 #🌸 The lovely dear: Henrietta #Topic: Trust

[my-proof-is-you]

Chasing Your Demons - Ch. 20

Summary: You thought you had left Dean Winchester behind you. After what he did, who could blame you?

But, when Dean is in trouble, his brother and your childhood best friend calls for help. You’re mad, but that doesn’t change that you care about them.

Soon you find yourself helping the younger Winchester and getting closer to him again. Dean has changed, but you want to help bring him back to who he was. If it works, though, what will the future hold for you and the brothers?

*I do not own and gifs or pics

Masterlist

You

You had laid in bed all night thinking after the kiss with Dean. It didn’t help that you also felt the need to avoid Sam after your breakup. You stayed under your covers, pretending the outside world didn’t exist.

Luckily, a distraction arose. Sam knocked on your door early the next morning to tell you that Jody needed help with a case. You were definitely glad to go do something that would keep your mind occupied, but you were even more glad to get to see Jody.

In the time since your mom had died, you had never really had a mother figure. Your dad was definitely not one to join the dating market, and the hunting world is generally made up by mostly men. When you met Jody, though, you had an instant connection to her. And even though you wouldn’t really consider her your “mom,” you still loved getting to see her and ask her advice on things. Plus, she had the same take-no-shit attitude you had, which made you kindred spirits.

You were the first one ready and in the Impala. The boys—who had presumably been sleeping before they got the call—took a little longer, dragging themselves into the garage with to-go coffee cups.

Shit. The car ride.

You hadn’t thought about the awkward silence that was bound to happen when you began your trip. Thankfully, though, Dean immediately turned on some classic rock at a high volume. Sam put his headphones in and leaned his head against the window to sleep some more.

You leaned back in the seat, still exhausted from your lack of sleep. You looked out the window for most of the trip, but every once in a while you would catch Dean looking at you in the rear-view mirror. He would quickly avert his gaze, and you would roll your eyes before looking back out the window.

The only conversation to be had during the trip was about the hunt for which Jody needed your help. It was a couple of shifters—your favorite. Ever since they killed your dad, you had loved hunting those bastards the best. You knew it probably wasn’t healthy to get fake revenge like that, but you didn’t really care.

After hours of driving with very few stops, you were itching to get out of the car. The tension in the air was suffocating. When you pulled up to Jody’s house, you immediately hopped out, not bothering to help with anything from the trunk.

“Honey, I’m home!” You yelled as you opened the door to the house.

Jody came around the corner from the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. She had a slight look of confusion, but she smiled as soon as she knew it was you.

“Well I wasn’t expecting to see you! I’m glad you’re here, though. Lord knows I have a hard time wrangling those damn Winchester brothers,” she said as she hugged you. You chuckled a little, wanting to humor her but not wanting to talk about them.

The boys came in shortly after and Jody hugged them too, admonishing them for not calling more often.

“Come on in! I just made dinner, and there’s lots since Alex is staying with a friend this weekend,” she said, leading you all to the dining table.

“This smells fantastic, Jody,” you said. It really did. She had made chicken with an incredible white sauce on it along with steamed veggies and mashed potatoes. You looked over at the boys, who were already eating as if they hadn’t seen food in days.

“God, you guys,” you said, giving them a glare and motioning your head toward Jody.

“Oh, uh, thanks, Jody. This is really good,” Sam said. Dean said something similar, but it was hard to tell around all the mashed potatoes he had shoved in his mouth.

Jody chuckled, and looked at you as she began eating too. “So, lady, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few years. What’s new?”

If only you knew, you thought to yourself. It wasn’t the time to tell her the truth, though.

“Oh, you know, just hunting and stuff. Hooked back up with these two a few months back.” Your face turned beet red as soon as you realized how poorly you had chosen your words. Jody looked at you, confused again, and you knew you would be doing some explaining later.

The rest of dinner was spent catching Jody up on what had happened with Dean and hearing about the various adventures Jody was experiencing raising a teenager. You helped take the plates to the kitchen when everyone was done eating and heard Jody from the other room.

“Why don’t you boys go pick us up some pie and ice cream for dessert? We’ll take care of the dishes.”

You heard the boys agree and the front door open and close. You were washing dishes at the sink when you saw Jody come up next to you in your peripheral vision.

“So. Wanna explain what’s going on with all that? You could cut the tension with a knife,” she said, nudging you with her elbow while drying off the dishes you rinsed.

“Hmm, how to explain,” you began, not looking up from your work. “My best friend--who also happens to be my ex-boyfriend’s brother--called me to help find said ex-boyfriend who had become a demon. My best friend then became my boyfriend and we found and cured my ex-boyfriend. Then my ex-boyfriend told me that he had been lying to me about cheating on me for two years. My then boyfriend broke up with me, and first ex-boyfriend kissed me.”

Jody had stopped drying and was just staring at you, open-mouthed. She sucked in a breath. “Okay,” she said with wide eyes.

You sighed, closing your eyes. “Yeah.”

“Let's go sit down,” she said, pulling you toward the living room.

You explained everything in detail about what had happened—Jody listening and not interrupting the entire time. When you finally finished, you felt a tear run down your cheek.

“Jody, what am I going to do?”

“Well first off,” she said, wiping the tear away from your cheek, “you’re not going to cry over these boys. They have caused you enough grief.”

You gave her a little half smile, trying to hold back the tears.

“Secondly, you have to figure out your feelings. As much as I know those two can be dumber than a box of rocks, I also know that they care about you. And it’s clear you care about them.”

“Yeah, but I have no idea how long that could take. It’s all so confusing,” you said, rubbing your hand over your face.

“I know. But you have as much time as you want. Those boys can wait. And after what happened, they oughta know that they should give you as much time as you want.” Jody smiled. “And just so you know, you are always welcome here if things get a little…crowded and you need to clear your head.”

“Thanks, Jody,” you said as the front door opened. The boys came in with grocery bags in hand and looked from Jody to you, concern crinkling their brows in almost identical ways.

“Dessert time!” Jody said, pushing up from the couch. You smiled and followed her to the kitchen. Though you knew you couldn’t talk to the boys just yet, you could at least smile and make small talk while you ate some ice cream.

Sam

Sam watched as you climbed the stairs to go to bed. You were going to sleep in Alex’s room, and he and Dean would be sleeping on the couch and floor. He felt concern worm its way through his heart at your look of utter exhaustion and the way your eyes were puffy from what he could only assume was crying.

When you were out of sight, Sam turned to Jody who was standing right behind him with her arms crossed. Sam looked past her to Dean who had a frightened look on his face.

“Uh, what’s up, Jody?” Sam asked cautiously. She turned so she could see both brothers.

“What are you two trying to do to that poor girl?” She asked, looking between the two of them.

Dean sighed loudly. Both of them had known this was coming. Sam sat down on the couch and ran his hands through his hair.

“We aren’t trying to do anything, Jodes. It just somehow became….a mess,” Sam said.

“Yeah, well, you two better clean it up. She looks like crap, and after what she told me I don’t blame her.”

“We don’t know how to fix it, Jody. She’s pissed, and she has the right to be,” Dean said. Sam looked at his brother and saw absolute devastation in his eyes. Sam knew that Dean loved you, but he had no idea that it was this deep. Sam felt a little pang of jealousy that he didn’t want to examine run through his chest.

That’s because you know the truth, Sam. You know you don’t love her like Dean does.

Sam shook his head and ignored his inner voice.

“I don’t like to tell you boys what to do,” Jody began. Dean rolled his eyes. “But you need to give her some time and space to figure all this out, okay?”

“You’re right. And we will,” Sam said. He and Dean both knew that would be hard for them, and Sam wasn’t sure how long they could last. He just hoped you got your feelings in order before they pressured you too much and scared you away.

Dean

Dean laid on the couch, trying to will sleep to come. It wouldn’t, and he couldn’t stop thinking about his kiss with you. Every time he remembered the feel of your soft lips on his, his heart would beat faster. Eventually, he pulled back the covers and carefully stepped over a snoring Sam on the floor.

Dean climbed the stairs, going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He looked up at himself in the mirror, noticing how bloodshot his green eyes were. He looked for another moment before his eyes suddenly turned pitch black. Dean jumped back in fright before slowly returning to the mirror, looking at himself in horror.

When he looked again, though, his eyes were back to their normal green. Dean knew that the Mark was getting antsy. He hadn’t killed in a while, and things like this started happening when he didn’t.

He turned off the light and stood outside the bathroom. He was going to turn and go back down the stairs, but something made him walk quietly down the hall instead. It was as if a magnet was pulling him toward you, urging him to push open the cracked door to your room.

Dean stared at your sleeping form from the door way. He knew he was being creepy, but he couldn’t help it. He walked quietly to your bedside, watching you sleep. You looked peaceful, and it was nice to see the lines of your face smooth and not filled with anger. You rustled a little and rolled over in your sleep. Dean thought he saw your eyes open, but you were still asleep, your breathing even.

Dean turned and left before he got caught watching you. He closed the door silently and leaned against it. The new image of you sleeping had already seared itself into his brain, right along with all the other memories he had of you.

Dean crept down the stairs and crawled back under the covers on the couch. He closed his eyes and started to drift. Something about seeing you had made him relax, and it wasn’t long before sleep took him.

Dean woke to the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of voices drifting in from the kitchen. Sam was still asleep, so he laid for a little longer, eavesdropping on the conversation between you and Jody.

“You look much better this morning, Y/N,” Jody said. Dean heard the scraping of a chair and imagined that Jody sat down at the table with you.

“I feel a little better. I actually slept. Thanks for the talk last night, Jody. I really needed that,” you responded.

Dean figured the two of you had talked when he and Sam went to get dessert the night before. He and Sam had talked, too.

“Dean, what are we going to do?” Sam asked, fidgeting in the front seat of the Impala.

“I don’t know, Sammy.”

Sam paused for a moment before speaking. “Be honest…are you still in love with her?”

Dean didn’t want to answer. In his heart he knew the truth, but he didn’t want to hurt Sam. He gripped the steering wheel tight.

“That was answer enough,” Sam said, noticing Dean’s hesitation. Dean looked at Sam, who was staring straight ahead. He wasn’t sure what the emotions on Sam’s face were. Anger? Jealousy?

“Regardless, we have to leave her alone. Neither of us can go after her right now. She needs time and space,” Sam said.

“Agreed.” Dean pushed the gas pedal down hard, speeding them down the road toward town. He didn’t know how long he could stop himself from pursuing you, but he knew he would do whatever it took to get you to forgive him.

Dean shook his head to clear the memory. He didn’t want to eavesdrop anymore and end up hearing something he shouldn’t, so he stretched his arms and groaned a bit so you and Jody would know he was awake.

He sat on the edge of the couch and lightly kicked Sam so he would wake up. He groaned too, rolling over. Dean got up and walked to the kitchen, where he headed straight for the coffee pot.

“Mornin’,” he said to no one in particular.

“Good morning, Dean,” Jody responded. He looked up and smiled at Jody before looking at you. Your face wasn’t angry, but wasn’t happy either. Your y/h/c hair fell in front of your face as you looked down and smelled your coffee, your eyes closed. Dean resisted the urge to reach out and tuck it behind your ear—something he used to do when you were together.

Sam came stumbling in, his hair sticking up everywhere.

You and Jody both stifled laughs before Jody spoke. “So, y’all ready for a hunt today?”

Forevers:

@malfoysqueen14

@divadinag

@lynne1993

@awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce

@infj-slytherclaw

@onethirstyunicorn

@sammykb1994

Deanies:

@tftumblin

@deans-baby-momma

@akshi8278

@weepingwillowphoenix

@playingdeep17

This Fic:

@icequeen6666

@my-soul-is-the-moon

@teenwaywardasgardian

@lilulo-12

@heyyy-hey-babyyy

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #SPN #spn fanfic #spnfandom #SPNFamily #spn imagine #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester/reader #Sam Winchester #sam winchester/reader #sam winchester/you #sam x you #fanfic #fluff #angst

[magnoliasinbloom]

Lullaby

AO3 :: Previously

Chapter 9

I lay on the examination chair, waiting for the doctor to perform the ultrasound. I gripped Mum’s hand, nervous. It wasn’t the first time I would see the baby on the screen, but now it would be different; it was bound to be bigger, maybe more recognizable. My mum was excited, happy to see her future grandchild for the first time. We’d switched doctors, to one closer by. It was mildly embarrassing to have a man for an obstetrician, but he soon put me at ease with his easy-going manner and friendly banter.

Dr. Raymond jotted down my medical history, ordered blood tests, and weighed me. I was slightly above average weight for my height—even though I had lost a lot of my appetite since I found out I was pregnant. I stood on the scale in a flimsy paper gown.

“Alright,” he said, “I think you can stand to gain about 15 kilos total, by the end of your pregnancy. I’m feeling generous today.” Dr. Raymond grinned.  15 kilograms? Two stone? I swallowed hard and stepped off the scale, feeling like a whale even though I was barely showing. I had lain back on the examination chair with my legs on the stirrups, fuming. That was when Mum joined me in the room and took my hand, expectant and eager.

Finally, the doctor placed the cursor on my belly. He moved it around for awhile, and there it was. He pointed it out on the screen, amidst the electronic snow. It was bigger, maybe the size of my fist. Mum squeezed my hand, her eyes welling up. Immediately, my mind jumped to Frank. I couldn’t believe he was not the one standing next to me, with me. Something tugged at my heart, acid and painful.

I tried to keep my expression neutral, as Dr. Raymond told me that everything looked fine, but that it was too early to tell if it was a boy or girl yet. He printed another picture of the sonogram directly from the machine; I’d make a copy for Jamie. I thanked the doctor as I lifted myself off the chair, with Mum’s help. As I dressed in the small bathroom, my mind raced with everything the doctor had said, with thoughts of Frank mixed in for added confusion. I felt bone-tired.

As Mum and I took the subway home, chattering happily all the way about the baby and the good news, I stared morosely out the window at the speeding walls. The one person who should have shared these moments with me was still completely absent, both physically and emotionally. I knew that being pregnant was not the same for me as for Frank; I had proof inside me that I would soon be a mother. He just didn’t see it, or feel it. It terrified me to think that he might never do so. Nodding mechanically at Mum’s words, I gritted my teeth and resolved to try one more time.

Where did Frank fit into all of this, where did he want to fit, if at all? I still had many plans to make; all of them would be incomplete as long as he didn’t make up his mind. I needed to know for sure whether he wanted to be part of them or not. His actions of late certainly spoke for him. His lack of involvement hadn’t ceased to surprise me, but I was reluctant to push him too much, afraid that he might go over the edge and refuse to see me at all.

My parents didn’t pry too much, acknowledging that I was old enough to deal with the situation—minor or not, I would soon be 18. I wasn’t sure Frank’s parents knew they were about to become grandparents; my money was on no. I would have thought perhaps his parents might want to be involved, or contact me somehow—but they hadn’t, and probably wouldn’t.

Why didn’t that matter more to me? I cradled my belly. Apparently love was not only blind, it was incredibly stupid. I still tried so hard to justify Frank’s attitude and actions, when they did nothing but hurt me more. What seemed more important, it hadn’t infuriated me as it should. I knew it should bloody piss me off, that I had all the right in the world to be more self-righteous. As I sat there, I grew more agitated and angry.

It was time to lay everything on the table—again—and hope for the best.

~~~

Frank’s mobile was unavailable. I peered out of the back room at Waterstones. I hung up on another call, unanswered. I couldn’t believe it—we lived in the same city, and he couldn’t come see me for five minutes. Jamie, on the other hand, called me every other day and was planning weekends for us to spend together regardless of his medical studies.

Mum and Dad had stopped asking about Frank. They were worried about me, my evident sadness. Frank was never at the dormitories when I called; I had given up on hearing excuses from his small circle of friends, tired of Jack’s apologies and Alex’s explanations.

I was angry for feeling like I had to cover for him—pretending things were simply on hold for us. I felt like clawing up the walls in frustration. I was distracted with work, could barely concentrate in class, and was losing what little appetite I had left. All this stress couldn’t possible be good for the baby.

One last time—I took the tube to the University of Glasgow campus on my day off. The air was frigid, and I bundled up in my winter coat. My stomach was permanently clenched. I felt nervous. I walked up the stairs to his room, huffing and puffing all the way. There were a few empty cardboard boxes outside his door. I called his mobile and heard it ringing inside the room. I knocked on the door at the same time and figured one way or another, I would speak to him.

Frank answered his mobile first. “Claire?”

“I’m outside.”

The door was yanked open as he hung up. I stepped inside his room without waiting for an invitation. I caught a glimpse of my reflection on the window; I took in the light purple circles under my eyes and tangled curls. Where was the pregnancy glow? I looked like shit, tired and careworn. Frank closed the door behind me and sat in the desk chair.

I laid my hands in my lap, where my fingers interlocked nervously. My heart skipped a couple of beats. Frank’s presence used up all the air, leaving the atmosphere heavy and tense. Finally, I couldn’t bear the silence.

“I didn’t want to show up like this. But I needed to talk to you, and you haven’t been taking my calls. As usual.”

“I’m sorry.” He offered no further explanations.

“I told my parents already.” A few weeks ago. The air grew charged.

“What did they say?” Frank was carefully composed.

“I was surprised. They said they would support me and help me. With money and the like. They were shocked, to say the least. But they’ve assimilated everything. Sort of. They’ve been great.” I looked up at him, and Frank avoided my eyes. “So. Are you telling your parents?”

Frank remained silent. My breathing accelerated with each passing moment.

“It’s not easy for me,” he began.

“Easy?” I interrupted. “Of course it’s not easy. I thought I would throw up. I was very upset. I didn’t know how they would react.” My voice rose a full octave in anger. I reminded myself to breathe.

Frank sighed. “You don’t understand. I’ve got things going for me now. I might get a scholarship to go abroad. There’s no way I’d be earning enough for awhile to support us.”

My fingers knotted together. “Back in December, you practically told me I could live with you, that your parents would understand. Now you’re telling me that what, they’ll disown you or something?” I softened my voice. “They can’t be that unreasonable.”

“They could be. If the scholarship doesn’t work out, and now this, they could cut me off without a cent. School, expenses, other things—they could take it all away.” He crossed his arms. That only incensed me further.

“You’re afraid of losing money? So get a job, like I did. Anything. We can’t afford to be picky. I’m still standing—juggling work and school. I’ll keep at it. I expected you to take some measure of responsibility.”

“Claire—”

“But I don’t anymore.” I forced myself to drag the words out. “I want this to be simple for us. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not asking you for money, either. I just want to know if I should include you in my plans—to have your support.”

“Look. Maybe I could give you some money, every week, monthly even. I could give the baby my name, whatever help you need. But I can’t commit to more.” Frank’s voice was hard; tears choked me and for a moment I couldn’t speak.

“So your parents would have a secret grandchild they’d never know about?”

“I’m sorry.” He looked away. Nobody spoke for nearly five minutes. The silence grew painful.

“Please don’t make me choose,” I said in a small voice.

“I’m not making you choose anything.”

“You are. And I know what my choice is. I’m not asking for money, I told you that. I don’t need your name on a piece of paper. That means nothing.” I swallowed past the knot in my throat, trying to sound firm. “I’m giving you an out. Tell me, are you with me or not? I won’t be mad. I won’t contact you anymore. You’ll never have to hear from us again. You can walk, right now.”

The stillness emanating from Frank was nerve-wracking. He still didn’t answer. Fear closed an icy hand around my heart, as it tried to beat steadily on. What was I doing? I realized then, I was waiting in vain for him to take my hand, touch me, hold me close and make me feel safe.

“I think…  give me a few days.”

“Now, Frank. In or out?”

“I’ll call you.”

“You won’t. I’m done waiting.”

“Please, Claire. I need to make some decisions. For both of us.” He pursed his lips, glancing at the grey-hued sky through the window. Finally, he leaned in and gave me a goodbye peck on the cheek. Dismissed, I walked to the door, my motions slow and paused. I put my hands in my pockets, so that the shaking would not betray me. Franks’ dark hair was mussed, his own face tired, too. He opened the door for me, and I left. I did not look back, as I once would have done. The door shut behind me.

That was the last time I saw Frank.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #jamie and claire #lullaby 9 #yes i know she shouldn't give Frank so many chances #all will become clear #but this is still a jamie and claire story #never fear

[demaisepouco]

Flowers

(N/A): This is sort of old. I’m reposting because why not :) Hope you enjoy it!

Pairings: Kara Danvers x Lena Luthor

Summary:  The flowers always intrigued Kara. She had never seen flowers in Krypton, and they were definitely what most charmed her on Earth. When she learned that they had meanings, she began giving them to other people, in order to represent what she felt for them. Until, one day, it was her turn to receive.

Warnings: none.

Word count: 1791

AO3

The flowers always intrigued Kara. They were beautiful in a way so incomprehensible that, in the opinion of the blonde, they should have their fragility annulled.

She had never seen flowers in Krypton, and they were definitely what most charmed her on Earth. The deepest and most beautiful human feelings seemed to have been defined by them. And, at a certain point, when Kara allowed herself to warm up in the warmth of her new family, she discovered that they too seemed to have defined theirs. Then, at the age of fourteen, when she knew they had meanings, Kara began to present the people nearby with flowers that represented what she felt.

The ones she had planted in the garden, with Eliza's permission, of course, were not very varied, but giving them to others was still a goal she would not give up on. The first person was Alex, her sister. When her thoughts were about her, the young Kryptonian immediately associated her with the image of a not so common species that she once found on a walk through the park, and later discovered to be an astromelia. It was a flower with a very expressive meaning for what she meant to say to Alex. A strong bond of friendship, a sincere and mutual relationship that two sisters could have. Astromelia was the perfect flower. But Kara only had access to roses and lilies. Soon Alex got a rose. A pink rose. The meaning was similar, friendship and admiration, and her sister smiled openly and hugged her gratefully. It was not an astromelia, but it had already been worth it for what she received back. This was a time when the blonde realized that in addition to transmitting her emotions to other people, she also wanted to create new ones for her recipients, either to soften the bad ones or simply to expand the good ones.

The second person with whom she has succeeded in this gesture has never before been in her plans. Kara was already sixteen, according to the land count, and was a high school student. Her interest in flowers had grown even larger and required a large space in her garden, making her gifts more elaborate and more complex in meaning, even if not everyone had the sensitivity to perceive them.

The blonde knew her by sight and knew the bad fame her family had. She was a high school student, too, who even had some lessons with Kara. They had never exchanged a word, but that did not prevent the Kryptonian from thinking about Lena Luthor, the young prodigy. Their eyes met randomly in the corridors, in the canteen, and sometimes in the library. But Kara still did not have enough courage to start a conversation, nor to ask Alex for help. The dark green-eyed brunette - an opinion the blonde kept for herself - did not seem to want to go beyond eye contact, either.

Then, on a Friday, after the lunch break, the Kryptonian found her in the bathroom, remarkably shaken. Lena stared at the mirror, her eyes red and tear-stained as her hands tightened on the edges of the sink. Kara, at first, thought about turning around, pretending not to bother her any more, she might be wanting a moment alone. But, she thought again the next moment, planning an approach, perhaps the brunette needed help. So, in short and cautious steps, the blonde approached until she took the position beside her, bringing the attention of the green eyes to her blue ones. The moment of contact took a long second, and when the other finally drifted away, Kara feared she might pull away. But Lena did not move, and then the blonde gathered within herself a courage that did not exist to form words.

"Are you okay?" That's what she managed to say and felt foolish about the question.

Lena stared at her again, her face still red and her lips drawn into a grin without teeth.

"I'll be..." The brunette passed by Kara and, shortly before reaching the door, turned to the girl again. "Thank you," she said, and smiled one last time before leaving.

The Kryptonian could not say more after that. She did not even utter one of nothing and felt that it would have been very little. The next morning, then, in Luthor's school closet, there were flowers. A sprig of fennel blossoms accompanied by another of yarrows and a lone white lily. Strength, healing, and gentleness were what Kara really wanted Lena to feel. Then, when the words seemed shallow and few, the blonde settled with flowers. And she hoped the brunette realized that it was an act of hers.

Lena noticed.

The blonde had waited near where Lena kept her belongings, to see if her gift would discover the feat. Leaning close to the wall beside her and looking discreetly, Kara saw that when the brunette crossed the corridor and reached. As she opened the door to her closet and found it, she stood for a few seconds to then remove the flowers and analyze them carefully. The blonde felt a joy to see that she had made Lena smile. Kara just did not expect that after that moment she would get caught in the act. Young Luthor glanced toward her, a soft smile on the flowers. The Kryptonian felt the blush rise up her neck and did not contain her nervousness, she adjusted her glasses on her face. She does not expect to be discovered so fast. But it was Lena Luthor after all. Her despair seemed justified by this statement. Kara still did not understand why. She also did not understand how her smile had been so easy and went unnoticed, when a brunette had turned away her eyes and distanced that the blonde realized that she also smiled.

After the event, Kara hoped that, on the day, the next courage to then speak with her. And thus not prepared for it. But it did not help. The blonde had been watching her search just before school started, she had been in the library for a long time, waiting for Lena to walk through the doors - she did not usually stay in the canteen. But nothing. No sign of young Luthor. Soon, there was still waiting for the only lesson they put together that day. It was there that Kara knew Lena moved to Metropolis with her family overnight, for no apparent reason.

The blonde was never successful in her representation of feelings with the flowers after that. And eventually she gave up giving them to other people.

Then, as the Kara was about to become older, just before the start of her senior year, her old goal was rebuilding in another way. Now the blonde wanted to help people express themselves through flowers. An idea that came about when her enchantment is for a work done in a flower shop. Something that was accepted and encouraged by your family. It took only a few days for a house to master all its functions in the job, and before long it was as if she were an old function of the establishment.

The place did not require much effort from Kara since it was not busy and took care of the flowers was a task that was already accustomed and appreciated. Even if she did not have a very large clientele, a blonde was already happy to help the few who entered through that door. With all the knowledge that had already accumulated on meanings and even something about botany, it was much easier to find what was requested. The young woman didn't make mistakes and her clients always left satisfied.

There was one day, however, that this did not seem to be what was happening. Kara's attention was already clouded, only to have recognized who had made the door bell ringing. The same person for whom the blonde had given yarrows, fennel flowers and a lily for some time. Lena Luthor.

She walked slowly down the path to the counter, taking a long time - in Kryptonian perception - and carefully examining the place. Lena did not seem surprised to have seen Kara there, a fact that is a stranger, but she quickly forgot when it was established a visual contact, like those of long ago, that one did lose for a moment. For a moment.

"Can I help you?" The blonde was a dina employee, after all.

Young Luthor placed a hand on the counter top and stared at the Kryptonian.

"Do you have plumerias?"

The blonde stared at the floor, shy of the deep look she had received, and faced the green again with a small smile to hide her blatant foolishness caused by the presence of the other. Lena smiled too and made a point of asking again, when Kara said the first thing that popped into her head.

"The beginning or birth of something, also means grace, charm, beauty."

"What?" The brunette frowned, confused.

"The meaning of the plumeria," the blonde looked away again, and nervously adjusted her glasses. "Sorry about that."

"All right," she said and laughed lightly. "So, does the plumeria mean this as millfinia means healing?"

Kara stopped in place. The brunette seemed to be amused by her discomfiture.

"Yes ..." Her voice came out in a whisper and the blush was already on her face.

"But anyway ..." Lena leaned against the counter. "Do you have plumerias?"

"We have" the blonde left behind the furniture that divided the space between them and walked to the space where the flowers were. "How many would you like?"

"Enough for a little bouquet."

The Kryptonian cut some, then turned to the next one waiting for her.

"Anything else?" She asked trying to follow the process as if it were some customer. Someone who did not affect her so much.

"Same amount of gardenias, please."

Gardenias, secret love. Who was Lena planning to give away? Kara was feeling a bit uncomfortable. However, she tried not to show it and only complied with the request. With all the flowers in her arms, she returned to the counter, failing miserably when she tried to act indifferently.

"That's it, right?"

Lena stared at her intensely, again.

"I'd like you to wrap them and a card, do you deliver too?"

"Of course ..." The blonde took a small card from the drawer and placed it on the surface.

"Do you want me to write?" Kara asked, as it was the custom of most of the attendants, and she saw her nodding. "Who would the recipient be?"

Lena smiled again and stared at her, distracting the blonde. Then she came forward, resting her elbows on the furniture again.

"Kara Danvers."

#supercorp #supergirl #supercorp fanfic #lena luthor #kara danvers #flowers #fluff

[blancheharrington]

Prompt request! Alex suspecting Jo is pregnant before she knows (kinda like he did with April). So glad you're taking requests 💘❤️

I’ve gotten a lot of prompts for this one, but this was the first one so I wanted to post it under this ask! 

One Shot #11B (Here’s part A if you haven’t read it yet.) 

Jo sat on the floor with her back leaned against the couch as she used the coffee table as a desk. She figured that while Alex had ran to the store, she would try to sneak in what might be the only study time she’d have all weekend while he was in town. She wiggled her pencil between her fingers and pulled at the bags under her eyes with her other hand. After so many years as a surgical resident, she thought she had known what tired felt like, but this kind of tired was all engrossing and entirely consuming. Between moving into a new city, meeting hundreds of new people everyday, exhaustive surgeries and various meeting and events, Jo was amazed she was even able to scramble this free weekend to hang out with her very new husband. Which is to say she was not necessarily surprised when she suddenly crashed and burned during her first free moment in weeks.

Just then, as Jo leaned her head backwards and pressed the tepid washcloth to her forehead, Alex bursted into the apartment with a haul of groceries. She let the cloth plop to the floor as she stood up to help her husband who was struggling to make it through the doorway. “You were just supposed to get some Dramamine and some lunch! What happened?” She questioned him as she grabbed a bag and set it on counter adjoining the living room with the kitchen.

“Have you looked in your fridge?” He joked. “You’ve got beer you won’t drink, and ketchup with nothing to put it on.” He pulled out a carton of eggs, various vegetables, and a gallon of milk and began putting them away in the fridge.

Jo peaked into a bag on the counter, “oh! You got Poptarts, too!?” She exclaimed as she tore open the box, ripped open a silver package and took a large bite of the chalky pastry. “Now I know why I married you.” She gabbled with her mouth full. Alex gave her a humorous smile as he placed a bag of bread onto the counter.

“How do you feel? Better?” He prodded as he continued to sort the groceries. He watched her closely as she continued to rummage through the bags.

“Fine, I guess. I told you it comes in waves.” Jo brushed him off as she made her way around the counter. She slid her hands softly around his waist and across his back and reached around him for the bag of bread. She spun around and opened the fridge, placing the loaf on the top shelf. “Thank you for getting all of this.” Jo stepped closer towards Alex who was searching through a bag. She stepped closer to him and placed an arm around his neck and leaned in for a kiss, momentarily pulling his attention away from the groceries.

“You’re welcome.” He mumbled through a kiss, “but I got you something else, too.”

Jo broke their lips and smiled at him sweetly. “Oh, the plant? I saw that! It’s really pretty, thank you.” She began to lean into the kiss again when Alex turned his head and rustled a small box out of a bag and held it between them. Her eyes went cross eyed as she instantly recognized the label. “Uh, what’s that?” She hesitated.

Alex laughed and gestured at the box. “How’d you go through med school without learning what a pregnancy test is?” He immediately regretted his sarcastic comment when Jo stepped away from him and looked at him offendedly.

She rolled her eyes. “I know what it is! Why do you have it?”

He shrugged his shoulders and asked himself how one should start accusing their wife of being pregnant. “Jo, you’ve been throwing up all morning.” He decided just blurting it out would be the best option.

“I told you, it was the food at the mixer!” Her eyes widened and she pointed her hand towards the air like she was showing him some imaginary rotten fish floating in the apartment that caused her to get sick.

“But you don’t have a fever.” He interjected.

“That doesn’t mean anything!” She replied defensively as she darted her eyes around the room in disbelief.

Alex put his hands on his hips and took a big breath in and let it out with his words. Like a lawyer preparing himself to present his next piece of evidence. “Okay…Your boobs are definitely bigger, too.” He pointed at her chest and raised his eyebrows as if this should have been obvious to her like it was obvious to him.

Jo instantaneously yanked her arms to her chest to cover herself as if she was caught naked by a stranger. “No, they’re not!”

“Uh, yea, they are.” He shook his head in one big motion.

She slowly dropped her hands and awkwardly peered down at herself. Trying to examine her size  and compare it to memory. “How can you tell?” Her voice rose inquisitively.

“Those pictures you sent the other night?”

Jo shook her head back and forth in absurdity. She laughed off his accusations while she reached for her poptart.“I am not pregnant, Alex.” She took another big chunk off and put it in her mouth, she turned her body slightly away from him, like this was ending the conversation.

Alex’s eyes widened like he had caught her red handed, “Jo, you don’t even like poptarts! I bought those for myself!”

She swung her body back towards him, the intensity in her eyes now matched his. “I do too like poptarts!” She dropped the rest of the chunk onto the counter and licked her teeth so she wouldn’t have food in her teeth while debating. “Even if I was pregnant, which I’m not, how could that have even happened?” Jo thought she had found the loophole in his evidence. It was true, they hadn’t been in the same state together for weeks, let alone the same room. She gave a sly smile and reveled in her closing argument, so positive that the verdict would return in her favor. However, Alex quickly interrupted her victory moment.

“The shed.” He concluded so matter-of-factly. Jo’s face dropped from confident to nervous in all of a second. The pieces of the puzzle began to come together and Alex’s diagnosis didn’t seem so crazy to her after all. He continued with his hypothesis, “or you know, after the shed, at Jackson’s party. In his bathroom. Could have happened then, too. Or the party after the party at home. We were pretty drunk.” Alex went on as Jo could feel her nausea returning. “We weren’t exactly careful.” He pointed out.

“The shed.” She whispered under her breath as she grabbed the box from Alex’s hands. Her eyes glossed over as she pretended to read the back of the box while her mind pulled everything together. The vomiting, the weird food, the extreme fatigue. She had boiled everything down to being overwhelmed by her new job that the thought of being pregnant had never crossed her mind. Jo pressed her hand into her breast and laughed at herself for not even noticing they were sore. How could she have missed this, she thought to herself. She’s a doctor! “How many minutes does this thing take?” She questioned aloud as she hastily headed towards the bathroom with Alex quickly trailing behind her.

#Jolex #Jo Wilson #fanfiction #Alex Karev #Just a note: I don't know if fellows need to 'study' for tests or not #but for the story's sake let's pretend they do

[alexlvnnbrivn]

somebody else {lynn gunn a.u.}

"I don't want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else." ---The 1975

Calm down, Lyndsey, she thinks, splashing cold water on her face and looking into the mirror. Breathe. It wasn't her.

There's another splash of water, and Lynn clutches the sides of the sink tightly, taking a shaky breath. It's been two months. How could she move on that fast?

A choked sob escapes as she finally mutters, "Either that wasn't her or I never meant anything." The backs of her eyes sting and she laughs humorlessly as she realizes that the latter is more likely.

Lynn could never forget Jessica's beautiful face, and the image of it pressed against somebody else's is too much for her to bear.

Tears spill down her cheeks. "I was never good enough." Her voice cracks, and Lynn finally allows herself to cry freely. She sobs until she can't breathe and her body is too weak to stand. Lynn collapses, her back against the dingy wall, knees pulling to her chest.

Memories fill her head, and her body shakes even harder.

The last time Lynn saw Jessica, she thought everything would be okay. They had met at the coffee shop downtown, where the other girl had seemed happy enough, and then headed back to Lynn's apartment for movies and cuddles.

The blonde had been playing with the redhead's hair contentedly, humming softly to herself. She'd been working out some kinks in a new song and needed to try it out. She was just about to ask what Jess thought when the other girl trained her deep blue gaze on Lynn.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but I don't think that I can do this anymore."

Lynn sat up straight, her heart beating faster. "What---What do you mean?" she stammered.

"I think we should break up."

"Why? What's wrong?" Lynn asked, a million thoughts running through her head.

"I've just been thinking. You're going back on tour soon, and I have my life here. And it just feels like we don't fit together anymore, like one of us has changed too much. It might be for the best if we just---"

The blonde's eyes filled with tears as the words processed in her head.

Nearly two years. Their anniversary was next week. Lynn had loved the other girl with all of her heart for so long. When had Jess fallen out of love with her?

She couldn't find anything to say. No matter how much she wanted to beg and plead to make the other girl stay, Lynn knew there was no use. It took two to make a relationship work, and if Jessica wasn't happy, she wouldn't make her miserable anymore.

Tears began to fall, but she never spoke a word. Jess threw her legs over the side of the couch and pushed herself up. She muttered something under her breath that sounded a lot like, "This is exactly what I was talking about."

As Lynn helplessly watched Jessica leave, their eyes locked one more time. The other girl's gaze seemed to scream one phrase.

It's not me, it's you.

Then she walked out the door of Lynn's life.

After what feels like forever, Lynn pushes herself off of the floor and looks in the mirror, sighing at the mess of makeup on her face. She takes care in removing it and reapplying mascara, as it's all that she brought with her tonight.

Finally, she takes one last deep breath before she walks out of the bar's bathroom.

Immediately, the small hum of music grows increasingly louder. Lynn searches the sea of dancing bodies for her best friends, running a hand through her hair nervously when she can't find them.

"There she is!" Lynn jumps as a hand wraps around her wrist. She whirls around to see Alex, an expression of concern crossing his features. "Where'd you go? We've been so worried, Lyndsey." 

"We were looking everywhere!" Brian adds, appearing next to the taller man.

"I'm sorry, guys," Lynn apologizes sincerely. "I was in the bathroom."

"Wait," Alex murmurs, stepping closer and examining Lynn's face. "Have you been crying?" he asks softly. She hesitates for a moment, but finally nods. "What's wrong?"

"J-Jess." Lynn averts her gaze as her voice breaks again. "She's here. With---she's not alone."

"I'm so sorry," Alex says, biting his lip and wrapping his arms around her, Brian following suit.

"Do we need to fight a girl for you?" the smaller man asks. "I'm not afraid to issue a well-needed knock-down drag-out." Lynn can't help but giggle a little at his words, imagining the scene that it would cause.

"Thank you, Brian, but that's okay. We need to save the drastic measures for absolute emergencies."

"But Lyndsey, you're sad. That is an absolute emergency."

Lynn smiles. "I'm lucky to have the greatest support system ever. You guys are amazing. Thank you for being here with me. I'm sorry I'm a little emotional, it's just really hard." She bites her lip and looks around the bar, where her eyes lock on Jessica once more. The redhead is still sucking the face off of a pretty brunette up against the wall, and the sight sends agonizing pain through Lynn's chest. But she's not running away again. Instead, she wraps an arm around each boy's shoulders. "I love you guys so much."

"We love you, too, Lyndsey," Alex says with a small smile.

"We really do," Brian replies, smiling fondly as well. Silence falls for a moment, and then he comes up with the best suggestion that Lynn's heard all night. "How about one more drink?"

~ ~ ~

Lynn decides that she's going to need more than just one last drink when she sees Jessica and her new girl walk by them, holding hands and laughing, neither sober.

When she sees them later, coming out of the bathroom with disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes, she hides the tears as she realizes that no drink in the world could possibly make this pain go away.

~ ~ ~

When neither Alex nor Brian is looking, Lynn slips away, already cursing herself for the horrible choice that she's about to make. "This is the dumbest thing you've ever done, Gunnulfsen," she mutters to herself, scanning the crowd for a very familiar redheaded girl.

She has to talk to her before the night is over. This might be her final chance.

Finally, her eyes land upon her target, and Lynn begins moving through dancing bodies, politely muttering "excuse me" and "sorry" as she goes. When she's finally standing behind the woman that she both loves and fears, she takes a deep breath and taps on Jessica's shoulder. The other girl whirls around at her soft touch. She blinks in disbelief, then says in a slightly shocked tone, "Lynn?"

"Hi, Jess," Lynn replies with a forced smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "How, um---how've you been?"

"Good," Jessica replies, nodding. "I got a promotion at work and I'm seeing someone now. These past couple of months have been the greatest I've had in a long time."

The words hit Lynn like a kick to the stomach. She's known since she started over here that it would hurt, but now that she's actually hearing the words falling from Jess's lips, the pain is ripping her apart inside. "Oh. That's great." She makes an attempt to lighten her voice, but to no avail.

"What did you want to say to me, Lynn? I know you came over here for a reason."

"I just wanted to let you know that I really miss you and that I hope you're doing well."

"What else? I know there's something. It's in your face."

"I was hoping that when I saw you again, I could ask for another chance. But I obviously can't now."

"Anything else?"

Lynn debates on whether or not she should ask the final question, not knowing if she wants to know the answer. If she doesn't ask, it'll bother her for the rest of her life. If she does, the pain will tear her apart even more.

"Do I matter to you?" She pauses. "Have I ever?" Because I know you'll always matter to me.

"You did, at one point. You did a great deal. Just not anymore."

With that, Jessica turns away, taking Lynn's heart with her and stomping on it along the way.

The blonde stumbles back, unable to breathe as she watches the woman she loves, the woman who will never love her back, lace hands with Lynn's replacement.

There's one final question on her tongue: Where did I go wrong?

Now she'll never know.

"Lyndsey! What happened?" Brian's voice brings her back to the present, taking the white noise of chaotic thoughts out of her head for a split second. "What did she say to you?"

"Nothing." Lynn shakes her head, holding back the new wave of tears. "It doesn't matter. Besides, I think we were cursed from the start."

#pvris #lynn gunn #alex babinski #brian macdonald #one shot #alternate universe #short story #sad

[starlingstory]

Starling: Chapter Twenty-Nine

«First Next>

Kenna pulled over on the shoulder somewhere more dust than sidewalk. She killed the ignition and half-leaned, half-crawled into the back seat to stare at Roy’s screen. Elliott and Alex had both abandoned their sulks to look too, which totaled three enormous people craning into his space, reading and rereading Laura’s message over his shoulder.

“What does that mean, rescue will be complete by dawn?” said Kenna, jabbing a claw at the phrase in question.

“Before sunrise,” Roy rephrased, unsure if that was what she was really asking, but unable to understand anything more complex about it himself. His voice sounded flat and distant even to him.

"Did something happen?” demanded Elliott.

Kenna withdrew to the front to fiddle with her own comp for a moment. "Nothing in the news,” she reported.

Roy sank slowly in his seat and let the conversation flow over his head.

“Is that good or bad?”

“I don’t know. It means no loud loud violence has happened, so I say good.”

Alex was baring their teeth. “What do we do?"

Roy entertained a brief fantasy of intervening personally: arriving just ahead of a team of soldiers in tactical gear, at some kind of warehouse where his classmates sat bound and pale; jumping out to confront the kidnappers, yelling at them to attract their attention, drawing them away with his famous face and keeping them occupied while the authorities extracted everyone to safety.

But even if he really believed himself capable of something like that, it wouldn’t matter. There was no way to get there. This was going to happen at a complete remove from him.

“Nothing,” he said, examining the suede on the seat in front of him. “Right?”

No one answered.

Roy tried to compose a response. The only thing he was able to come up with, after a good two minutes of thought, was:

"??????”

He didn’t really expect a reply. Certainly none was forthcoming.

*

In the end, for lack of any real information, they decided to proceed with the hotel plan. Kenna hadn't been kidding about the place being inexpensive; it was just off the side of the road, a squat structure with peeling paint and a dozen other well-used cars parked out front.

All four of them went in together, to distract from Roy, who kept his chin buried in the same scarf he'd hidden behind back at the museum. It was possible the Gold at the front desk didn’t notice he was there at all, between his companions’ height and brightness and the clearly aggressive way Elliott was asking for a room.

They escorted him down the dim hallway like guards without even consulting each other, Elliott taking the lead while Alex and Kenna flanked him. The lock stuck twice before they made it inside.

The room came off as antique to Roy, and not in a good way, all plasticky faux-wood and matted shag carpeting. These were probably the cheapest lodgings he'd ever stayed in, including when he and Kira had slummed it upstate for a week the previous summer. It was cramped and smelled of cigarettes, but at least it had beds, and human-style ones at that: blankets, mattresses, all of it. His body ached just looking at them, but he wasn’t inclined to relax just now, nor had he been in the past several weeks, nor would he be maybe ever again. He stayed on his feet.

Elliott took off his cloak and threw it over the back of a simple, vaguely ergonomic-looking chair. He and Kenna exchanged some low words while Alex stalked the perimeter of the room for no reason Roy could discern, although he could relate to the impulse.

He didn't think Alex would appreciate the sentiment, though, so he kept his eyes trained on Kenna. Of all the people in the room, her demeanor was the calmest, and he hadn't personally yelled at her in the last 24 hours.

She dominated the conversation with Elliott, moving closer and closer until she was holding his wrists in a loose grip, swinging his arms gently to and fro. He relaxed his tense shoulders just enough to allow it, looking down into her eyes like they were tethering him to the earth, his crest laid back flat and miserable.

When she was done telling Elliott whatever it was she had to say, Kenna noticed Roy watching her. She squeezed Elliott's wrists and let them drop, reached up as though to touch his face, then seemed to change her mind and stepped away.

She turned to Roy. "Rest," she ordered in English.

She whistled sharply at Alex, who drifted to her side like a great unmoored sailboat.

"Don't fight," Kenna added, pointing twice, looking stern, and then they were both gone, leaving a comparatively drab patch of carpet behind them, and Roy and Elliott alone together, and the room feeling somehow smaller.

There was an analogue TV against the far wall, either ancient or alien, Roy wasn't expert enough to say. He managed to turn it on after a few moments’ fumbling, and he couldn't find a channel that wasn't staticky past comprehension. Even if the covert rescue operation were being broadcast live, there’d be no way to tell.

Grinding his teeth, he turned the white noise down—not off, in case something did come through. He set his comp out on the table between the two beds where he would notice any new messages.

Despite looking everywhere in the room but at Elliott, he couldn’t help observing that Elliott’s hands were trembling. His arms were crossed and he was scratching fretfully his forearms, yanking out small feathers here and there.

Roy walked past him and into the small bathroom.

The plumbing here was foreign but basically resembled what he was used to; after a moment’s experimentation, he was able to turn the shower on as high and hot as it would go.

He locked the door behind him and peeled off the clothes he’d been wearing for days. He grimaced; they were steeped with the sour, unpleasant tang of panic sweat, plus a heavy base of regular B.O. He threw it all in the sink with half a mini bottle of shampoo and scrubbed till the suds were gone and the dingy water drained away. He avoided looking in the mirror until it was partially clouded over, but he still cringed at what he saw. His hair was greasy, his face haggard, and Alex Red had given him a truly spectacular shiner. He didn’t look like himself. He looked desperate and violent, maybe the way Jet Calabi had at his age.

He looked away and stepped into the shower. The pressure was weak but the water was punishingly hot, the steam thick and scouring to breathe in. He let himself cook under the tap until his thoughts were dull and fuzzy—but his body didn't receive the message and was still on high alert. His heart was pounding still, his stomach churning.

Roy picked a sturdy-looking patch of tile on the floor, gripped the top of the shower to keep from slipping, and slammed his foot into it over and over: carefully, so he wouldn’t injure himself, but as hard as he could, sending sharp, satisfying shocks up his shins. He doubted the sound of the running water would mask his tantrum, but at least it would be muffled some.

He stayed in the shower till his legs were sore and his breathing was labored and his skin was a dark, bruised red. He felt wrung-out and exhausted, but he'd exorcised at least a little of that sick, nervous energy.

When he came out, Elliott was lying on the bed furthest from the window, curled up as well as his bulky shoulders would allow. He’d taken off the rest of his outdoor clothes, and Roy could see that his feathers were unkempt and ill-maintained.

He felt a strange sort of vertigo, looking down instead of up to meet Elliott's eyes, and for a split second he was transported. Six months ago, he never would have thought he'd ache for the simplicity of taking the elevator to Elliott’s chilly dorm room, getting in a stupid, gut-wrenching argument, and then coming back for more the next night.

Roy dragged his eyes away and turned around to lay his dripping clothes out on the carpet with a series of faint wet slaps. He identified the device in the wall that had to be the hair dryer, and made sure the towel around his waist was secure before he squatted and took aim, switching it on to generate a faint hum and a fainter heat. He tried to concentrate on drying the clothes, but lost focus immediately when he heard Elliott’s mattress shift and saw, out of the corner of his eye, as he walked away from him.

His stomach swooped at the thought that Elliott would leave, but he only moved to the chair where his cloak was draped and reached into its pockets, silently pulling out fistfuls of cash and small gadgets and setting them on the side table. When it was empty, he turned without a word and held the cloak out out to Roy.

Roy swallowed and stood to accept it. He retreated a couple steps before dragging it on over his head. He had no way of knowing if this was the same cloak he’d borrowed after being shot at, but against his bare skin it felt thick and well-worn. It was warm enough and long enough, he decided, that he could lose the damp towel without sacrificing his modesty.

He turned to add the towel to the lineup, took a look at the sodden little heaps on the floor and realized his plan was stupid—not to mention a surefire recipe for mildew. He stepped back into the bathroom to wring them out over the sink, then hung everything over the towel rack to air dry.

This time when he came back, Elliott was perched on the bed, sitting straight and regarding him carefully. Roy stared back without flinching. Flinching would have been a waste of movement, and he didn’t have the energy to spare.

“I’m not…” began Roy. He could have sat, but he just leaned back against the wall, which creaked a little under his weight. “I’m not trying to fight. I'm not sure it matters anymore. But can you at least tell me who Ty Gold is to you?"

Elliott nodded, slowly. "My grandfather," he said. His voice sounded like gravel, even its softest pitch coming out far too harsh.

“Oh,” said Roy.

“Shit,” he added, in a general kind of way.

Elliott nodded, but couldn’t quite maintain the eye contact. "I didn’t know," he said.

Roy bit the tip of his tongue.

"It's all out of our hands now, isn't it,” he said finally.

Elliott made a sound so low Roy could barely hear it. “What do you think was in our hands, exactly?”

Roy sighed. So much for grace in dishonor.

But Elliott was right. There was no point getting into it again, tired and helpless as they were. So all he said was, “Well… now what?”

Elliott shrugged without affect.

Roy clasped his hands behind his back, tracing the rough grout with his fingertips. “Let’s just say everything goes according to plan,��� he said. “In the morning I'll go back to the hotel, right? The other one, I mean."

"I don't know," said Elliott. "I guess so."

“Astris will probably cut our visit short,” he prompted. "Head home early. Abandon the whole, you know, itinerary."

"Probably."

Roy frowned. "Okay… What about the worst case scenario, though. What if we have to keep hiding for another day, another week. Do we stay here?"

Elliot took a moment to consider this.

"I have the funds for about a month," he said finally, gesturing at the pile of cash. "Maybe we should move to different places—or maybe we should hole up here, keep you hidden. I guess it depends on what happens.”

“Oh,” said Roy, taken aback. He hadn’t thought nearly that far ahead. “Okay."

They fell silent again.

If he was being honest, Roy hadn’t said the real worst-case scenario. He’d never said it out loud; it felt like a bad omen. But it had been festering for days, and it now it burst from his mouth.

"What if they all die?" he said. "What if something goes wrong—"

Elliott shook his head urgently. "It doesn't matter," he began.

"It matters—" said Roy shrilly.

"No, I mean—we'll still get you back to your mother somehow," Elliott said. "She'll take you home. You'll be safe."

Roy stopped.

“It’s out of our hands, right?” insisted Elliott. "Let’s just concentrate on you.”

Roy tried to imagine leaving Empyrean alone as a sole survivor, facing his mother and the press and the rest of his life on Earth, growing old and remembering Kira as someone he lost young.

He cleared his throat and pushed his wet hair back in a way that rubbed his eyes against his sleeves.

“What if,” he croaked. He blinked up at the stucco ceiling and tried to fish for some other, even more extreme thing. "What if we can't get back. What if the hotel is bombed and travel is restricted and war is declared, and I'm stranded here forever?"

Elliott didn't speak for a long moment, long enough that Roy started to worry he'd invoked Elliott's own worst nightmare.

Then he said, "We'd go on the run."

Roy looked back down at him and frowned.

“We'd what now?"

Elliott spread his hands. "I think we could do it. We have the resources—money, connections."

"How could that possibly work in the long term," Roy objected.

"We could make our way to a different city," said Elliott, slowly, the way he did when he was working out a problem aloud. "Or maybe the countryside. Assume new names.” He tipped his head. "I always wanted to try being a Reggie."

Roy burst out laughing in spite of himself, in spite of everything. Elliott jumped nervously, but his crest lifted a few inches.

The TV guttered and clarified for a moment and they both turned toward it, like it was the third person in the conversation finally making its opinion known.

It was nothing but a weather report, which faded away as they watched to an ad for... Roy wasn't sure. Some kind of soap, maybe.

He moved to try flipping channels again, but Elliott straightened suddenly. "Don't," he said.

Roy froze.

"Please," Elliott said, reining in his voice a little. "Let's just... distract ourselves."

Roy moved cautiously to his own bed and sat with a slight squeak of springs. They faced each other across the small aisle, knees almost touching.

“What, uh. What would we eat?” he asked. "On the run."

Elliott considered this just as seriously. “I’ll learn how to cook," he decided. "You can study Empyrean botany. Learn how to farm.”

“I—me?” Roy actually pointed at himself. "A farmer?"

Elliott didn’t blink.

Roy squinted and gave it some thought. “I guess I could like that,” he said dubiously. “I’d learn more about the planet without having to talk to too many people. And I’d get really strong."

“Exactly,” said Elliott with an approving nod.

Roy cast about for some even worse scenario.

“Okay, what if,” he said, “we had to go for a second round. Like if the schoolbus just crashed through that window, right now, and those guys jumped out at us again, still fully armed.”

Elliott’s crest settled down a little before he shrugged. “Well, we have experience with that now," he said, almost breezily. "I think I could probably fight all of them off this time.”

“Oh, well,” said Roy. “Me too."

Elliott scoffed.

“I was taken by surprise before!” Roy protested. “I—I have a very powerful kick, you know.”

“Fine,” said Elliott, waving a hand. “So we beat them all up. And after that we go—"

“First we steal their stuff,” interrupted Roy.

“—Yes, naturally we take their stuff first,” he agreed. "Any money we find on them, we can add to our fugitive fund.”

Roy scooted forward. “I say we blow half of it on a really nice meal first.”

Elliott opened his mouth to object, then closed it thoughtfully. “You know, there is this place I’ve wanted to try, but I could never justify the travel. We could stop there on the way. Do you eat meat?”

“That really depends what kind of creature you try to feed me,” said Roy, surprising him into raising his crest again. “But—I trust you.”

The pause was brief but heavy.

“Anyway,” said Roy quickly. “Yeah. I’m in. Incognito. I could grow a beard."

“You could?”

“Well," he amended. "Maybe.”

They looked at each other until they couldn’t anymore, and then they looked at the TV instead.

A different ad was playing now, though possibly for the same product. This one was accompanied by a jingle in the same style of music they’d used to listen to together on Elliott’s speakers. At the time, Roy had assumed it was some kind of woodwind instrument, but he realized now it was a cappella.

“Hey,” said Elliott.

Roy turned back to him. “Yeah?”

“Turn it off,” he said.

Roy raised his eyebrows, but Elliott did have a point. If they were deciding not to chase news they may as well commit.

He got up without complaining and snapped off the power. The garbled music gave way to the muted sounds of traffic and rain outside.

“Sit down,” said Elliott, pointing not at the bed across from him, but at the floor in front of him.

Roy looked at the spot, then back at Elliott, who was holding still and staring steady.

"Why?" he said suspiciously.

Elliott inhaled. “With your permission, I’d like to teach you what I neglected to, back at school. About how we touch.”

Roy crossed his arms. “Why.”

Elliott let his breath out in a frustrated puff. “Because… I never reciprocated, before. I let you do all the work, which was almost as rude of me as not explaining what we were doing."

“But I thought you said it was, you know—inappropriate?"

“Not usually,” protested Elliott. “Not when everyone knows.”

Roy wavered.

“It's called raking,” Elliott said. “Families do it. Parents, siblings… close friends.”

But they both knew that wasn’t all, and Roy opened his mouth to say so. What came out was: “What about arrogant cowards?”

Elliott’s eyes widened.

Roy almost laughed. It made him sound like such a petty asshole, but. Well. “Your words.”

“Just sit down,” Elliott snapped, gracious as ever.

Roy rolled his eyes. He settled cross-legged onto the carpet, which had once been fluffy but now was sort of ropy. He faced away from Elliott and tried to relax his shoulders, but physically couldn't force himself to. He tangled his fingers in the carpet and fidgeted with it, waiting.

He expected to jump when he was touched, but the hand that settled on his crown was just firm enough to reassure him.

Elliott gave him an experimental scritch on the top of his head. His claws were hard, but blunt.

“Okay?” he checked.

“Sure,” said Roy.

He found the part in Roy’s hair and followed it outward as far as the tips of Roy’s ears, then retreated and started over. He did it again and again until Roy lost count. After a while he seemed to get distracted by the texture of Roy’s hair, twisting it and turning it over in his fingers.

“So?” said Roy finally.

“So what?” said Elliott. His hands didn’t stop moving, but they did return to a more deliberate scratching pattern.

“So tell me.”

There was a pause. “It’s calming,” Elliott explained. “It keeps you looking neat and it keeps you in contact with people. You know you’re doing well in life when you have someone to do this for you at least once a day.”

Roy didn't try to talk, just listened, tried to appreciate the sensation.

“More, if you’re little,” Elliott added. “You saw the state of the babies.”

Roy hadn’t necessarily thought of Elliott’s little nieces and nephews as unkempt—it certainly wasn’t the first word that sprang to mind—but he nodded anyway.

Eyes half-lidded, he allowed himself to be hypnotized by the play of light from the parking lot through falling water and flimsy curtains. His mind went blank and hazy the way it had under the showerhead, but this time his body began to follow suit.

Elliott's own legs were crossed, and there was room for Roy to lean back against the bed. He realized this when a soft palm cupped his forehead and pulled him gently backward to get at his hairline. At first he held himself tense and awkward, but the massage was doing its job, and the hot shower and exhaustion were catching up to him, and it was a surprisingly short while before he was fully limp, head tipped back onto the mattress.

"I am sorry, of course," said Elliott, very quietly.

Roy didn't sit up, but he heard his own teeth click together. "Don't,” he said. "I know, I don't want to—"

"Okay," said Elliott quickly, retreating, sounding relieved. “Forget it."

Roy’s shoulders had hunched involuntarily. He let them stay that way.

“So where does it start to get risqué?" he said.

Elliott paused for just a second too long. “Excuse me?” he said.

Roy kept his eyes forward. “You know, how sexy was it when I touched your ears?” he pressed. “Show me.”

“I…”

“Since it doesn’t mean the same thing to me.”

Maybe this was risky territory, but it was just about the only risk Roy was in a position to take at the moment.

“Okay,” said Elliott slowly. “Well, this would be more intimate, here.” And his hands drifted lower.

He took his time, running his claw very lightly over the shell of Roy’s ear. He stroked the soft pad of his finger over the tender spot just below it, then moved forward to rub a little harder, to scrape gently over the pulse point on Roy’s throat.

Roy shivered, and Elliott paused, but didn’t move away.

“Does it feel good?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Roy murmured. His voice was hoarse. "Maybe not in the same way as... but yeah, it's nice."

Elliott hummed his approval and dragged his fingertips from Roy’s forehead all the way down the back of his neck, humming again when Roy arched into his touch involuntarily. Then he focused on tracing soft circles on his temples. After that, he seemed to lose his nerve, and his hands returned chastely to the top of his head.

With Elliott’s hands back in safe territory, Roy’s mind began to wander: out of the room, through the city, to wherever the Astris kids were. He wondered if they were cold. Were they hungry? Were they frightened, were they hurt—

“Hey, Elliott?" Roy asked suddenly. "You ever been kissed?”

When Elliott didn’t answer, he hastened to add, "Other than. That one time didn't count, that was just...." He gave up on finishing the thought when Elliott withdrew his hands.

"I guess I haven’t,” said Elliott.

Roy swallowed, and turned around to get a look at him. His hands were hovering uncertainly. He looked exhausted.

“Are you curious?” Roy heard himself say.

“...Why?” said Elliott cautiously.

“I mean. It just seems fair."

Elliott squinted at him, then shrugged and scooted back to make room on the bedspread. “You can’t trick me if you’re bad at it,” he warned. "I know what it’s supposed to be like, I’ve seen your movies.”

Roy scoffed and clambered up. “Wow, no pressure! Just a movie kiss, please, Roy—” he began, but stopped when Elliott’s words caught up with him.

“Hold on. Are you saying you were tricking me just now? Are you like... bad at raking or something?”

Elliott hesitated, his feathers drawing in until he seemed almost small. “No, I—Kenna just said that once.”

This time Roy couldn't stop the sheer vindictive grin that burst across his face. "Did she really? Oh, Elliott."

“Shut up,” said Elliott. “You would never have known."

“No, that’s true,” said Roy, still grinning. “You’re the best rake I’ve ever had.”

Elliott was unimpressed.

Roy’s smile faded. “So, um.”

“Are you going to do it?” Elliott said, just as Roy lunged across the bed to plant one on him.

Since Elliott was in the middle of speaking, he got business end of a tooth, but he powered through, pressing hard and coming away with an audible smack.

They looked at each other.

���Oh,” said Elliott.

“Uh. What’d you think?” said Roy, rubbing at his lip where he'd pinched it.

Elliott’s crest gave one dubious twitch. “It was fine,” he said politely.

Roy frowned, pride stung. “Okay, wait, hold still. I want to try again.”

He scooted closer, sitting up on his heels. He tried to think of all the best-looking kisses he’d seen, and took a steadying breath. This time, he started with a press of his palm against Elliott’s downy cheek. Tipping his chin up would’ve been counterproductive, so instead he pulled him closer, guiding their mouths together. He tried to err on the side of softness this time. Since Elliott's lips weren’t plump so much as they were flat, smooth lines, Roy deposited a very small peck on the corner of his mouth.

Elliott’s breath smelled oddly tart, like he’d been chewing on flower petals.

When neither of them pulled back, Roy was compelled to do another one, even lighter, just for punctuation.

They moved just far enough apart to look at each other. Roy didn't know how to arrange his face, but maybe that didn't matter.

“Well?”

Elliott’s eyes were black wells under an iridescent film. They were still too close for Roy to see his crest, but he could feel the prickle of his finest feathers rising minutely under his hand.

“Better,” he said.

Roy swallowed.

“Can I…?” he said. He wasn’t sure what the question was, exactly, but he knew what he wanted the answer to be.

So did Elliott. He took Roy’s hands and brought them to his own throat, back behind his jaw, where the feathers were still fine and soft, and where Roy could feel heat and a quickening pulse beneath.

“Yes,” said  Elliott, voice coming not hoarse but thready. Musical.

Roy moved his fingers, massaging little circles, tickling. Knowing, now, what he was doing. Tired as he was, he imagined he was manipulating the magnetic fields around Elliott’s head, creating sweeps and arcs of sensation.

They settled into a trance, breathing together.

“Okay,” said Roy softly. “Okay. I have no idea what to do next.”

“This,” said Elliott. Slowly, giving Roy a chance to withdraw, he leaned in to slide his cheek against Roy's. It was like rubbing his face on velvet.

Acting on instinct—and on what he had glimpsed of that private moment with Dar—he leaned hard into Elliott, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. It felt good; warm and soft, of course, with an interesting variety of textures, but the best part was the way Elliott was melting underneath him.

When a steady, liquid thrumming sound started deep in Elliott’s chest, Roy laughed in startled triumph and pulled back. He hadn’t intended to go far, but Elliott kept him close with a grip on his upper arm, just in case. They clutched at each other, brows pressed together.

“So what’s that mean?” said Roy, touching Elliott’s throat to see if it was vibrating. It was.

“It means it feels really good,” said Elliott. The sound hardly seemed to interfere with his speech. If anything, his mumble seemed to come from embarrassment. Roy felt giddy.

“You always,” continued Elliott, with some effort. “Before, I mean. You always had a very thoughtful touch.”

“Pfft, thanks,” said Roy. He paused.

“So when we did this back at school,” he began with a weak smile, “was I just a warm body to you, or….”

“No,” said Elliott without hesitation. “It’s never been just that, with you.”

Roy huffed out a breath of half-laughter and dropped his eyes. “Yeah, well. That’s for sure.”

Things had been complicated between them before they ever met. It wasn’t fair, he thought.

“Do you even…” Roy started.

“What?" said Elliott.

But he'd already thought better of it, was already shaking his head. “Never mind."

It felt too good. He was too hungry for this, for simple, animal comfort, to keep up the enumeration of his useless fears. He closed his eyes.

“I don’t care,” he heard himself say. “Just distract me.”

*

They touched each other for what seemed like hours, ebbing and flowing between exploration and urgency. It was clumsy, imprecise, but for Roy at least, it was intoxicating. His sharpest most uncomfortable thoughts were slowly softened to mush, his galaxy narrowed to two nervous bodies on an ugly bedspread.

They asked each other questions, sometimes half-aloud, like when Roy said, “Wanna, uh…?" and then they worked together to push the cloak off his shoulders. Elliott traced the muscles on his back with interest, which raised goosebumps up and down Roy’s arms, which were apparently doubly fascinating.

Roy kept noticing himself grinning, thrilled and jittery. He touched every place on Elliott that he’d ever been curious to, which turned out to be far more than he’d have thought; he pressed his palms to his chest, which was broad and solid under the soft give of the feathers. Rolled his fingers over all the joints whose unearthly movements he’d observed, the knees and elbows and ankles. Compared their hands—Elliott’s were bigger, long and tapered, but Roy’s were almost as broad.

While he was occupied with this, Elliott had the brilliant idea of depositing kisses of his own on Roy’s neck, or at least pressing his cool mouth to his skin, which chased language almost completely from his mind.

Roy waited until he was near dizzy with adrenaline to ask a question with no words at all. He pushed at the one piece of clothing Elliott had on, the one around his waist. Elliott helped him immediately, like he’d been waiting.

“Oh,” said Roy. “You’re, uh… asymmetrical.”

“What? I promise I am not.”

“No? Oh. You have two—”

“Shut up, shut up, come here.”

Roy cackled in genuine terror and threw himself into Elliott’s arms.

The morning rushed toward them. They helped it along.

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#Starling update

[yogaadvise]

Ritual Inspiration: Alex Auder

In the very early 90s yoga in New york city City was considered edge. Neither the hip progressive neither those in the corporate world were interested in wellness techniques, and also they absolutely weren't shouting to Hindu deities. However Alex Auder-who 'd matured in the 70s and 80s in the Chelsea Hotel, as well as had actually circumnavigated with her mother, a Warhol superstar with a propensity for adventure, known by her high-frequency spiritual energy-was. At 17, Auder began practicing at the freshly formed Jivamukti Yoga exercise Institution in the East Town in New york city City, where dancers, designs, as well as hippies alike involved learn yoga exercise from the studio's co-founders, Sharon Gannon and David Life.

After a hiatus from the technique, while at Bard College in upstate New york city, Auder returned to the city in 1994.' I was very clinically depressed, pointless, and also had no concept what to do with my life. Then someday, I suddenly kept in mind yoga. I went straight back to Jivamukti.' Over the next 2 years, Auder came to be an educator at Jivamukti, opened her own workshop, currently called the Satya Yoga Facility in Rhinebeck, New york city, and at some point came to be an elderly educator at one of New york city's premier yoga exercise workshops, Kula Yoga. She took place to run her own boutique studio out of her West Town house prior to relocating to Philly in 2015 with her partner and 2 youngsters, where she opened up the Magu Yoga exercise School in Mount Airy.

Auder's training design is affected by numerous yoga exercise designs suching as Iyengar, Kula, Katonah, as well as Jivamukti. 'I discover it difficult to dedicate to one type,' she states, acknowledging the means the technique and the practice of mentor modifications as we correct time. A longtime trainee of Advaita Vedanta, an arm of Hindu ideology that highlights non-dualism as well as liberation in this lifetime, Auder is an intellectual who perfectly weaves viewpoint right into her classes, which are also very in harmony with the refined motions of the musculature of the body. Auder is a real master teacher-one who comprehends the essence of yoga exercise and also could unbelievely share that significance to students of all levels via her passion and also proficient feeling of touch.

Here, the self-styling non-conformist shares some details about her individual trip, method, rituals (or do not have thereof), as well as the methods which her deep study of viewpoint has actually affected her life.

What initially drew you to the practice?

One could claim that-in my unconscious memory-it was my mommy that attracted me to the technique, as she was, for a short time, an adherent of Muktananda, [the Siddha yoga expert] It was the 70's in California, and also my mother was spending time at his ashram, having all kinds of overjoyed experiences.

In my grown-up life she informed me that she really got stuck at the ashram and also wished to leave, but each time she got to the front door, she would certainly be overtaken by a magical pressure and just couldn't go. At some point my mother told Muktananda that she had a daughter she needed to return to, to which Mutkananda responded, 'Bring her to me.' Certainly these stories get moved, however I do keep in mind strolling up with my mama as well as meeting Muktananda. That was my initial intro to a widely approved guru.

And after that over the years I would certainly go with my mom to see Gurumayi whenever she 'd come into the city, and we would certainly play kirtan [ religious songs] at house, and also mom would certainly meditate. I never ever remember my mommy doing real asana, however I do remember her resting cross-legged as well as obtaining this small amount, jiggly quivery thing ... and I would imitate her doing that.

When did you obtain your very first intro to the asana practice?

My good friend Lynn Appel stated to me someday, 'You've obtained to have me to Jivamukti.' I have no idea why she believed I would certainly like it, yet she brought me to Sharon Gannon's class on Secondly Method in between Ninth as well as Tenth. As well as I liked it immediately.

I have no idea how Lynn knew I would certainly like it, because I was long over ballet, which I had done as a little girl, yet I was truly multi-levels wowed. The physicality wowed me as well as I was always very normally adaptable, but I hadn't been doing any type of sort of technique. When I saw people do full onward folds up, I was like, 'Wow! How are those individuals doing that?' But it wasn't just that! Sharon's dharma talks, as well as the songs, also: I'm obsessed with Bob Dylan, as well as she was playing Bob Dylan. The means she presented herself, her appeal, but likewise her not-typical-at-that-time-yoga-aesthetic. She had long hair and black eyeliner and also she was so ... Lower East Side. At that time, in the very early 90s, that design was so particular as well as new. We all complied with in her footprints, grew our hair long and also used 2 braids.

When did you initially begin teaching?

I started messing around at university, in the Bard gym, just doing my very own practice. Buddies saw me, and would ask me exactly what I was doing. Eventually I just said, 'I'll reveal you.' And also I started doing a really casual class, the type of point where I would certainly reveal them exactly what to do, yet we would certainly all do it together. And after that someone resembled, 'You ought to educate this at the Bard health club.' And also I believed, 'All right, exactly what the heck? They could have this together with aerobics.'

Long tale short, after instructing there for some time, my hubby (partner at the time) Nick said, 'You know there's this structure for rental fee around the bend near Bard. You need to simply rent out that and also you ought to do classes below.' So I called Sharon Gannon, and I stated, 'I'm considering mentor. Would you be eager ahead up right here and observe my course and offer me your true blessing?' So she and also David came upstate, and oh my God, never ever been so worried. I actually nearly really feel pale considering it currently I was so nervous!

They slept over in this funny little residence that I was leasing at the time, and over dinner, she analyzed my course, and claimed that she really felt like I had actually heard what I had been examining with her and that she concurred with my teaching, as well as offered me her true blessing. I would certainly decrease to the city and also teach at Jivamukti once a week.

How would certainly you explain your style of mentor now? And also exactly how has it altered over time?

I would certainly so love-and also most likely hate-to have a video clip of how I showed at that time 'cause I'm really interested to understand how various it was. Maybe it was much better! I would certainly claim that my style has altered so much since of training at Kula Yoga exercise in New york city City for all those years. I trained myself to come to be pretty versatile, so for instance when I instructed briefly at YogaWorks, my mentor was much more in their style. Today, my style is physically like a virtually meta-version of a Kula class because it introduces a series with numerous variations, but unlike at Kula, sometimes I don't finish up moving via the sequence.

These days, due to my very own injuries and also what I have actually observed over the past Two Decade of bodies, I'm interested in just what I'll call structural alignment-which I understand is filled word. Because we remain in the globe of Vinyasa yoga exercise, as well as there are particular stances that we understand are duplicated over and over again-Chataranga, Higher Pet, as well as whole lots of different changes, with so much lunging, and so much action where we move from open-hip to close-hip-and additionally due to the fact that so numerous very adaptable ladies are drawn in to the technique, I've ended up being curious about exactly how we can preform these normal transitions while preserving stability in our joints. Component of that, ultimately, is holding individuals back from what they usually want to, which allows sensation. And so I attempt to delicately, however continually, coax students from the obsession to really feel a lot, and also rather tune into the nuance. My style remains in some ways extremely advanced since what I ask of my trainees is to relocate a lot more from the bones and also less from the fuel of the muscles without the trainees going slack.

I take pleasure in training 'progressed' students that have actually plateaued or have had their patterns established - and together we relocate right into a new place and point of view. And through this, I see how my concept of just what's advanced has changed greatly over time.

Have there been any kind of advancement or zero hours in your teaching? Like an, 'Aha!' minute that's shifted the means you approach the practice of teaching?

Before I had my initial youngster, I had actually not been introduced to what I think is currently really accepted as-integrating core work into a method. I had a teacher who showed at my workshop in upstate who would certainly typically say, 'As well as currently we do abs.' And I would certainly always roll my eyes and also think how foolish and also 'L.A.' it was. Yet individuals loved it, so I just thought 'whatever, if it works for you ...' And then when I transferred to L.A. briefly, I discovered everyone did this core work and also I just assumed, somehow it simply felt like stupid conditioning modern exercise world. Therefore I was really mobile as well as never ever truly had standard core strength.

When I ultimately reached Kula in 2006, and also started mosting likely to Schuyler [Grant]'s classes and also started educating there, it completely kicked my evaluate. It was truly the very first time my eyes were open to just what I'm calling the contemporary Vinyasa world, where individuals are drifting as well as piking and doing handstands. I became extremely curious about that, because it was so beyond my abilities. This was my initial 'Aha!' minute. Realizing that there was a lot more to the technique than the asana that had come so quickly to me due to my flexibility.

The second was fulfilling Nevine Michaan. Besides simply for approaching placement in a brand-new method, I was so moved by a lady who entirely had the info she had examined throughout the years. She had taken this info, absorbed it, made it her own, as well as had no apologies. My doubters would certainly often inform me that I claim method way too much while I show, however after discovering from Nevine's teaching, I decided I would permit myself to own my very own dialogue, own the information I desire to pass on, as well as I am not mosting likely to keep aiming to please my movie critics, or shift the method I show to please others. I am going to teach what I believe in, just what I recognize has actually worked for me, actually own this persona, and also not stress if I do not appeal to every person. My courses are smaller due to this, however I in fact favor it by doing this since I could actually instruct the individual bodies. That was a huge shift.

The third shift came during my current move to Philly. In opening my own area, I've been drawing back from just what was required of me as an instructor at Kula. Currently I think a great deal concerning my hip labrum injury, as well as what I could state and also educate in order to help my pupils reinforce and also elongate in order to stay clear of injury. My mentor currently is a real blend of all the various types, as well as I've come to be far more available to discarding exactly what I understand doesn't help me or my method any longer. Currently that I have my very own workshop, I simply do exactly what I intend to do, and exactly what I believe is healthy for the students.

The very first time that I took your course, I was so moved by the complexity of the architectural alignment as well as after that the insanely eloquent, beautiful tapestry of thoughtful assimilation that occurred at the end of class. I was relocated by it in a method that I have hardly ever other times been moved. And also as a yogi that is additionally extremely curious about piking up into handstands, I wonder to hear just how you see the link in between piking handstands as well as the yogic quest bordering satchitananda (our capacity to experience the best unvarying truth of this reality).

I would certainly state the pike up has possibly absolutely nothing to do with satchitananda, to be fairly sincere. I feel rather sure it has nothing to do with it since we certainly know plenty of people that can pike up and are overall assholes. And also we understand plenty people that pike up and also are impressive people. And also a lot of people who are incredible experts as well as amazing people, and when I say fantastic people, I mean are using the methods to their mundane, rote day-to-day live, which to me shows that the techniques are occurring or that it's not just when you're showing as well as in the yoga exercise space, which I fail at 800 times a day.

It is possible that the only element of the pike up that links it to satchitananda, and I don't speak for anyone else, simply my own personal practice-is that when you feel your very own internal structural integration, it is a little bit simpler, a little bit I claim, like truly a small little bit less complicated to attach to equipoise in the state of problem, which is quite a lot at all times. I would say that everything is always a bit in a state of conflict of every person's own minds interacting with each various other and the characteristics of the home are so mercurial as well as moving with everyone's emotions, specifically as you add individuals into a household.

That's when the practices obtain used. Exactly how can you preserve equipoise in the problem of dynamics moving constantly? So I want to claim that, yet I truthfully do not know if it holds true. I truthfully do not know if acquiring the skills of a pike up help with that in any means. For me, truly, it's as easy and also as shallow as just feeling good literally. But for somebody who naturally does pike ups, I would claim that for them, it may be another thing. As a non-natural piker-upper, acquiring the skills to obtain me to pike up helped me really feel more literally protected as a result of just what it needs me to do in my core.

What aspects of yogic philosophy do you locate most intriguing? What texts and also lessons do you most return to?

I constantly go back to extremely basic shlokas [verses], like rested tab ananda, which is just what I typically use in course, due to the fact that it's easy and to me, I intend to be able to use it to visceral physicality. To make sure that's kind of the video game I constantly play with myself. 'Exactly how do I take this shloka and use it to just what we are experiencing as hatha yogis in a really sensible means as well as extremely practical?'

What other habits notify your life and also your practice, besides yoga exercise, if any?

In answering this inquiry, there is a great deal of me that doesn't wish to belong of this Facebook-era glorification of placing our 'perfect lives' on display. But with all of that stated, I actually am additionally an extremely non-ritual person. I have very inadequate hygiene. I just take a shower a couple times a week. I don't shave my hair-my legs or my armpits. I find it extremely challenging to do any type of self-maintenance as well as I'm not attempting to state, 'Poor me,' yet with both kids and also business as well as the husband, as well as not having a great deal of money ... I frequently don't even brush my teeth. If I brush my teeth twice a day I believe, 'Remarkable!'

In New York, I took courses frequently as well as after moving and also opening Magu I have actually not yet found a regular- I really feel fortunate if I find the space to meditate and take a course at my very own place. This may just be the result of having actually never ever been really regular concerning anything-another result of my weird/outlier childhood years and expanding up in a house where consistency was not respected at all. I can obtain really down on myself as well as my method, yet my husband will certainly claim, 'That's insane. You have actually had a yoga exercise method for 20 years.' My instructor Nevine constantly says to me, 'You are a mommy of kids. You can not have a constant technique. Go stroll with your husband-that's your technique.' That makes me really feel better.

Do you really feel that raising your kids is a yoga exercise for you?

Yes, other than that it's a feeling of consistent failure due to the fact that the minute that traits get heated up is the minute where you feel the practice dissolving. Which on some level, is where there I locate ritual-I fess up to that failure as well as try to come back on track every single time. To acknowledge, I'm not a best individual undoubtedly, I've not kept my equipoise in this minute. How could I bolster myself somehow or an additional to obtain back there or to try once more the following time?

When you have a companion, oh my God, it's so tough because you're taking care of their feelings also. And I could have an entire idea in my head, 'This is how I am today. I'm actually not going to shed my cool. I'm going to be completely non-defensive. I'm mosting likely to accept all the different complicated emotions of the various other's that provide to me.' As well as after that I stroll right into the house as well as that's gone.

For me, mothering and also being a better half is a yoga method in the method that I could truly be providing love. The foundation of the practice is to be at risk, to be able to provide love when faced with problem, not take scenario also personally. I have actually become really utilized to having my defenses on due to the fact that of the person that raised me and because of this, it's truly difficult for me to reveal susceptability. It's very easy for me to articulate that in the class, however in just the affection of residence, it's really hard for me.

How do you connect to Bhakti (the technique of dedication), and also is it a huge component of your yoga practice?

I actually think at heart I am a Bhakti yogi. If I hadn't end up being a mommy as well as a homeowner, I 'd most likely be some crazy Bhakti someplace in the wilderness.

There was a period where I nearly came to be a total Krishna Das fan. Back then, prior to he got famous, I was close with him, as well as we would certainly increase to Ananda Ashram, and also there would be only 10 of us, and we would certainly chant to Krishna all day long. That, I have to claim, is my dream. If I could return and also do it that way I would, yet see I don't like it with all the hundreds of individuals. I guess my genuine trouble is that it frustrates me when traits become mainstream. It's truly dumb, I must still go offer myself the experience, but it simply aggravates me so much. And that's my trouble. I think it's partly because of the method I grew up.

I would like to go find a root right into Kirtan as well as Bhakti, due to the fact that I do not really have that very much any longer, with the exception of when I shout for course, or if another person does. Oh my God, when anyone else chants, I resemble, 'Oh please! Yes!!' I'll begin crying. 'Hare Krishna!'

The various other component of this is that I have a very practical, essential side that maintains me very intellectual. I do not suggest that being a Bhakti yogi isn't intellectual. But, there is some feeling that the crucial mind, viveka, is moistened a small amount bit in the complete Bhakti encounter, which can be a fantastic, freeing minute. We need that to free ourselves from the dogma of thought flow, yet I additionally delight in the dogma of idea flow.

So my heart is Bhakti, yet my mind is a lot more Vedanta.

If someone only had five minutes a day to devote to a practice, exactly what would you encourage they do?

Find a way to connect to the breath that assists you really feel embodied. In such a way, that's exactly what we're all looking for regardless of exactly how newbie and just how advanced we are. And I would certainly claim the advanced we obtain, the even more symbolized we feel.

To me the advanced practice is the sensation of complete embodiment and a capacity to release the 'efforting,' so we locate simple and easy initiative: poise. The act of meditation-whatever forms it takes-with the body grounded and the breath being found, is exactly how we find grace and also embodiment. That is absolutely possible to do in five minutes with breath as well as tranquility. Physical tranquility, focus on the breath, working out into the witness mind: these techniques can generate the effective as well as calming experience of embodiment.

#asana #ashtanga yoga #bikram #bikram yoga #hatha #Hatha Yoga #hot yoga #kundalini yoga #meditation #prenatal yoga #spiritual #spiritual energy #types of yoga #vinyasa yoga #yin yoga #yoga #yoga alliance #yoga for beginners #yoga music #yoga nidra #yoga practice

[sayitwithsarcophilus]

Snippets from my newest original project

Misty Mountains Forest Preserve, Pekarangan, 18 Scorpii System

Olivia woke up to a little wet nose poking her in the face and immediately wished she hadn’t.  The morning sun stabbed through her closed eyelids - which Olivia considered particularly unfair since she’d been unsettlingly sober for the past three days and was in the middle of a damned cloud forest - and brought the banked fires of her headache roaring to life.  And her mouth tasted like wakebark tea and ketosis.  

Olivia felt the weight on her chest rearrange itself, and a little clawed paw batted at the mosquito netting covering her face.  “All right, all right, Mommy’s getting up.”  First step: feed the whiny space-fox-dog before he wasted away to a little pile of fur and bleached bones as a reproach to her neglectful pet care.  Correction: first step: untangle herself from the cocoon of blankets, mosquito netting, and water-resistant tarps that she slept in without falling out of her hammock and crash-landing on the forest floor.  Second step: feed Gonif.  Third step: evict any local minifauna using her boots as a crash pad.  Fourth step: rehydrate, dumbass.  What kind of amateur dies of thirst in the middle of the jungle?

After feeding Gonif, there was just enough water left in the filter-bottles to brush her teeth, and the keg bromeliads next to her campsite hadn’t refilled yet, so Olivia set off find a new source.  Bromeliads and pitcher plants of various sorts were common in this part of the jungle, but most of them weren’t big enough to be worthwhile and the ones that were had something living in them.  Olivia had no idea if unfiltered space pollywog pee was dangerous to humans, but she had enough to investigate at present without pursuing that particular angle.  It all went straight into the filter bottles.  Gonif had no such reservations, but Olivia figured that consuming gross stuff was par for the course for dogs in any star system.

Olivia was a little over five minutes from her campsite and had yet to encounter any plants carrying more water than would fill a martini glass when she ran into - almost literally - a stand of swordleaf bamboo with plenty of juicy young canes.  She approached the bamboo carefully - the stiff mature leaves hung at just the right height to stab her in the face - took out her knife and a water bottle, and started tapping.  Swordleaf bamboo sap may have had the texture of unset jello and tasted like oversteeped lukewarm green tea, but it was dreadfully hydrating, reasonably germ-free, and in a wet season you could fill a shot glass in a minute.  Olivia had no idea why you would want a shot glass of bamboo sap, but apparently people back on Earth did shots of sprouted wheat juice nowadays.  

While the sap was dripping, Olivia played a half-hearted game of fetch with Gonif and swatted at the bugs.  Damn, they were thick this morning.  Oh, right, she’d gone straight out for water and forgot to put on bug repellant.  Olivia dug out the jar of citronetta lotion she’d picked up in the last Hamadryad village and rubbed the lemony-herbal smelling goop over her exposed skin.  There.  Much better.

Drinking swordleaf sap always made Olivia wish for a splash of gin and a lime wedge, or at least some seltzer to cut the sliminess, but after she’d choked down half a liter of the stuff she felt, if not exactly good, then at least reconciled with her continued corporeality.  Time to acquire some breakfast and plan the day’s expeditions.  Tree Octopuses hadn’t been documented this far north, but the local microclimate was just what they liked, and Olivia had seen some promising-looking potential den sites and what might have been a midden yesterday.  And if the octopus hunt didn’t pan out, she had some epiphyte specimens that needed closer examination, or-

The chattering jungle creatures went silent, and Gonif began growling at something behind her.

-Or maybe not.  Olivia turned around, with her hand on her pruning knife, and saw a lanky blue-and-brown-plumed Lianenshi in vaguely official-looking clothes approach with her burly green bodyguard.

“Doctor Olivia Green, I presume,” the alien asked, in Lianen.

“Who’s asking?”

“I wish you to come with us and answer a few questions.”

“Yeah, well, I wish the Library of Alexandria had never been destroyed,” Olivia replied, in English.  The aliens had translator earpieces, they could damn well use them.  “You guys have a lot of nerve, just barging up and demanding to talk to me before I’ve had so much as a damn cup of tea.  Especially when you’ve got no jurisdiction, and we both know how much Hamadryads love off-world bureaucrats stomping around the woods like they own the place.  Who the hell are you, and why should I give you two the time of day instead of making a break for it and leaving you for the midges and forest rangers?”

“My associate and I represent the Interstellar Partnership For the Study of Anomalous Astrogeology and Physical Cosmology.”  The bodyguard showed Olivia an ID badge that looked legit to her admittedly unpracticed eye.  “We have questions about Cykranosh.”

“Don’t we all,” Olivia muttered.  “Sure, I’ll talk to you, but not here.  Let’s go somewhere we can sit down first.”  

“That guy was way too white to be wearing dreads,” Skylar whispered to Dionaea, gesturing at the helicopter they’d all just exited.

Dio didn’t even try to suppress her sigh.  “Skylar, he’s green.”  Their helicopter pilot was the color of a fresh spearmint leaf, with a hint of rosy flush like a very ripe Granny Smith apple.  And freckles.  And big golden-green cat eyes and biceps the size of… stoppit, brain!  “And I read online that loc-samurai-ponytail he’s got is a traditional hairstyle for Hamadryad sailors.  Traditional as in pre-contact.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Skylar conceded.  “But I don’t see any boats around here.”  “Here” was a spot of open meadow on the edge of the forest.  “And people in India used the swastika as a religious symbol for centuries before the Nazis got ahold of it.  That doesn’t mean it’s right for them to use it nowadays.”

“Do you even listen to yourself?” Dio asked, and then turned her attention back to her brochure from the Misty Mountains Park Service before Skylar could answer.

“All right, everyone!” Ms. Yuki called out.  “Put on your bug repellant, it’s midge season.  You don’t have to worry about getting space malaria or space yellow fever, but the itching isn’t fun.  Alex, Katie, Skylar, get some sun protection.  I know it doesn’t look that bright out, but some of those clouds are going to burn off by the afternoon, and this star puts out a little more UV than our own sun.”  Ms. Yuki herself was wearing an enormous floppy black hat that looked like something a beautiful, morally ambiguous young widow would wear to her late husband’s funeral.  “This is the last real plumbing for miles, so go pee and fill up your water bottles if you need to.”  Skylar cringed.  “And review the information about dangerous plants in your brochures.  I don’t want anybody rolling in the space poison ivy.  Everyone got that?”  The young people all nodded.  “Great!  We leave in five minutes.”

After a couple hours of walking, a snack break, and a brief musical interlude - “When You’re Evil” and “Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Song)” turned out to be weirdly well-suited to wilderness singalongs, although Skylar tried to meld with the forest floor out of sheer embarrassment - the tame, parklike forest had turned to alien jungle.  The trail was still clear, and the crush of greenery was broken up by smaller game trails and the occasional fallen tree, but if Dionaea had been claustrophobic, the landscape would definitely have been getting to her.  

As it was, there was so much new stuff to see that it was hard to pick out specific subjects of interest.  Dio’s phone had a dozen new pictures of lichens and fungi alone and at least five for different kinds of mosses, never mind the big plants.  And she would have taken more if the lighting had been more consistent.

After another break to watch a wild tapir-sow and her babies cross the trail from a safe distance - because even Sam, Disney Princess that he was where animals were concerned, wasn’t about to risk spooking 500 pounds of muscle and tusks - the trees abruptly thinned out again and the hiking group found themselves looking into a little circular clearing.  Which was not uninhabited.

“-and I do think the planet is cursed,” a human voice said.  “Psychically, not physically.  Nothing practical went wrong that was out of the ordinary for operating in an alien environment, but there was a real emotional miasma over everything.  At first I thought it was just me - no sun, history of seasonal depression, you know how it goes - but Mi-go like it cold and dark and they felt it too.”  A different voice responded in a fluty alien language that Dio didn’t recognize.  

The clearing was occupied by three people sitting on a fallen log - a skinny old human lady wearing a local-style outfit accessorized with Earth-style hiking boots, aviator sunglasses, and a well-worn duster covered in grass stains; an unamused buff green person in futuristic tac gear who looked kind of like a Hamadryad and kind of like an orc; and a cross between a tropical bird, David Bowie, and a vintage shoujo manga character - plus one of the foxish-looking little indigenous dogs.  As soon as Dio stepped out from behind the trees, the little dog started barking its head off and the green person gave Dio their best “I have no problems with you - yet - but I could take you and your friends out without breaking a sweat, so don’t start none” look.  Dio nodded and held out her empty hands, which she really hoped wasn’t the equivalent of flipping someone off in space orc culture.

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