#impulse issue 45 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

perfectsunlight · 7 months

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𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

lisa x non-idol!reader

warnings: minor angst (?) , mostly fluff tbh

part 2 of attention

word count: 3,313

synopsis: your girlfriend proves that she'd do anything for you, no matter what.

an international flight was more than enough time for lisa to think. she knew you weren’t going to answer her, especially after your last argument. she also knew that this wasn’t just about the argument, or your graduation. this was about your relationship.

lisa rested her head against the window, doing her best to ignore the kid kicking her seat behind her and the way the man next to her was snoring. when she arrived at the airport, she didn’t really have a plan. all she knew was that she needed to get onto the next flight back to korea as soon as possible.

maybe that’s why she didn’t care if she got an economy class ticket and boarded without anything except the clothes on her back and the items in her purse. perhaps that’s why she didn’t care that her phone was at 45% or that her airpods were left in the hotel. but none of that seemed to matter to her at the moment.

nothing was as important as you.

with a heavy sigh, the idol closed her eyes, attempting to find solace in the darkness behind her eyelids. but there was no escape. every single one of her empty promises haunted her. she realized that this flight was more than just a physical journey; it was a mental and emotional odyssey, a chance to finally confront the demons that had driven a wedge between you and her.

regret was not a strong enough word to describe the emotions that she felt right now.

she had spent so long blaming everything and everyone else for the issues you two had. the tour, the company, the schedules. these all had a strain on your relationship, but she never stopped to truly recognize that her actions had done the most damage.

but lisa also knew she was causing damage by going to be with you, as well.

missing a concert date was a breach that yg entertainment would not take lightly, especially from someone as crucial to the group as her. the repercussions would be severe, but at that moment, it felt like a distant concern.

all she cared about right now was you.

time seemed to stretch and contract in the confined space of the airplane. hours passed like minutes, and yet every second felt like an eternity. the rhythmic hum of the engines provided a backdrop to her thoughts as she drifted in and out of attentiveness.

as the plane descended into seoul, lisa's heart beat erratically in her chest, matching the turbulence of her thoughts. the city lights twinkled below, a familiar sight that should have comforted her, but all she felt was a gnawing anxiety. the weight of it pressed on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

she glanced at her phone, which was at 15% battery, and noticed the time. lisa would barely make it on time to your graduation. it was cutting close.

every passing minute seemed to mock her, reminding her of the time slipping away, of the chance she might be losing with each second ticking by. the reality of what she had done settled in like a heavy stone in her stomach, a constant reminder of her impulsive decision. as the plane taxied toward the gate, lisa's fingers drummed anxiously on the armrest. she knew she had to face the consequences of her actions.

with a sense of urgency, lisa rushed out of the plane. paparazzi and fans were everywhere. the thai girl pulled her shades closer to her face and lowered her cap to shield her eyes and send the silent message that she didn’t want to deal with anyone right now.

lisa navigated the chaos of the airport terminal with the grace of a seasoned performer, her steps quick and purposeful despite the pounding in her chest. the cacophony of voices and camera shutters filled the air, each flash of light blinding her momentarily. she pulled her shades closer to her face, a feeble attempt to shield herself from the prying eyes and the harsh glare of the cameras. she felt like a deer in the headlights, vulnerable and exposed.

the fans, once adoring, now felt like an encroaching wall of judgment and scrutiny. every step she took seemed to magnify her guilt, each flash of the camera a reminder of her failures. reaching the front of the airport, lisa spotted a nearby taxi.

paparazzi shouted questions, their relentless pursuit of a scandal evident in their probing eyes. lisa kept her head down, her cap pulled low, and her shades hiding her emotions. she was a fortress of stone, unwilling to let the world see the cracks in her armor. as she slid into the backseat of the car, the noise outside dulled to a muffled roar. the tinted windows offered a semblance of privacy, shielding her from the prying eyes outside.

inside the taxi, the atmosphere was a stark contrast to the chaos outside. the paparazzi’s shouts faded into the distance, and the insulating walls of the car cocooned lisa in a brief moment of respite. yet, the weight of her actions pressed heavily upon her shoulders, even in the relative silence of the vehicle.

“where to?” the driver asked as he looked back at the idol through his rear view mirror. “seoul national university.” lisa quickly replied, rubbing her temples.

the taxi driver nodded, his eyes meeting lisa's briefly in the rearview mirror before he pulled away from the curb. the city lights blurred into streaks of color as the car sped through the night, the engine's hum a steady rhythm beneath their conversation. lisa leaned back in her seat, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts.

the weight of her actions bore down on her, but in this moment, she was determined to face them. there was no turning back now. the truth, raw and unfiltered, was what you deserved. as the car wound its way through the familiar streets of seoul, lisa's gaze drifted outside the window. her phone buzzed with messages and missed calls, but she ignored them. right now, you were her sole focus.

this was your special evening. she’d witnessed how hard you had worked over the past years, spending hours studying and slaving away at the kitchen table in her home. there were many days when she’d barely be coming home at the early hours of daw, only to see you fast asleep under your books and papers.

there were countless evenings when lisa would return home after a grueling day of rehearsals and find you hunched over your books, your eyes tired but resolute. the soft glow of your laptop screen illuminated your face as you delved into your notes, your fingers dancing across the keyboard with practiced ease.

your girlfriend would watch you in admiration, marveling at your intellect and work ethic. she recalled the times when you would fall asleep amidst your textbooks, your head resting on a pile of notes and your hand still holding a pen. lisa would gently cover you with a blanket, tucking you in with a tender kiss to your cheek. if you fell asleep on the couch, she’d just pick you up and carry you to bed with her.

she cherished those moments, the sight of you in peaceful slumber, surrounded by the remnants of your dedication to your education.

one particular memory stood out vividly in lisa's mind at that moment.

it was the night before a crucial exam, the air thick with tension and anticipation. you had been studying for two weeks straight for this exam. your brows furrowed in concentration, eyes puffy and red from the mental breakdown caused by the anxiety you were feeling about the exam. lisa had just held you in her arms for a good half an hour as you cried.

lisa remembered how she was going to suggest you take a break, but you simply wiped your eyes and turned back to focus on your flashcards. there was a fire in your eyes, a fierce determination that lisa had always admired. it was a determination that had brought you through countless challenges, and she had no doubt it would carry you through this exam too.

the thai girl prayed for even an ounce of that determination you had from that night to be present in her current moment. as the university came into view, lisa could feel her heart racing. this was it.

when paying the driver, her fingers fumbled with the bills and she definitely gave him double than what he charged because she didn’t care about counting any of the money out. there wasn’t enough time for that.

she quickly stepped out of the taxi, the cool night air hitting her face. the campus gymnasium was where the commencement ceremony would be. lisa pulled her hat down further, practically running full speed towards the building at the end of the block.

lisa's sneakers pounded against the pavement as she sprinted towards the campus gymnasium. her heart raced, not just from the physical exertion but from the urgency of the moment. the distant echoes of applause and laughter reached her ears, a reminder that the ceremony had already begun.

each step she took was a plea for time to slow down, for the universe to grant her a few precious moments to make things right. as she neared the gymnasium, she slowed her pace, trying to catch her breath. she straightened her cap and removed her sunglasses, taking a moment to compose herself before entering. the night air had done little to calm the storm inside her.

the weight of her actions hung heavy, and every heartbeat was a reminder of what she had risked losing. taking a deep breath, she pushed open the doors to the gymnasium. the atmosphere inside was charged with excitement and anticipation. the graduates, clad in their caps and gowns, sat in neat rows, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of the stage lights. the air was thick with a sense of achievement, a tangible reminder of the years of hard work that had led to this moment.

lisa scanned the crowd, her eyes searching for you amidst the sea of faces. the fear of not finding you clawed at her, urging her to move faster. the sea of dark blue uniformity didn’t help her either. but she’d recognize you anywhere, blending in blue or not.

finally, her eyes landed on you. you were seated towards the back middle rows, your eyes fixed on the stage, a mixture of pride and determination in your gaze.

the idol pulled her hat down lower, fearing that she’d cause a huge scene if recognized by anyone. lisa quickly slipped into one of the side bleachers as your section stood up and made way towards the stage.

the pride in your eyes was undeniable, a reflection of the years of hard work and dedication that had brought you to this moment. as you walked, your steps were confident, your shoulders squared with determination. lisa felt a mixture of awe and regret wash over her.

awe for your strength and resilience, and regret for the pain she had caused you. the applause that filled the gymnasium was deafening as each graduate's name was called. lisa clapped along, her eyes never leaving you. she marveled at your grace, your ability to shine even in the midst of her failures. each step you took towards the stage felt like a step away from the darkness of the past and towards a brighter, hopeful future.

as you ascended the stage, lisa held her breath, her hands trembling slightly. the pride in your accomplishments filled the room, a tangible force that seemed to push back the shadows of doubt that had clouded her mind. for a moment, she allowed herself to bask in the sheer brilliance of your achievements, a glimmer of hope that perhaps, with time, she could be worthy of you once more.

the moment your name was called, the room erupted into applause. lisa clapped harder, her heart swelling with a mix of emotions. you walked across the stage, receiving your diploma with a smile that could light up the entire room. at that moment, the thai girl’s heart swelled with pride and love.

she was reminded of just how incredible the person she had fallen in love with was.

as you made your way back to your seat, lisa's eyes followed you, her gaze soft with adoration. she knew that this was just the beginning of your journey, and she was determined to be there for every step of the way. the applause continued, but in her heart, there was a quiet resolve. she would make amends, prove her love, and stand by you, no matter what challenges lay ahead. in that moment, amidst the sea of applause and celebration, lisa made a silent promise to herself.

she would be better. she would be the partner you deserved, supporting you, uplifting you, and loving you unconditionally. no matter what.

the ceremony continued, but lisa's focus remained solely on you. she knew that the path to redemption would be long and challenging, but for you, she was willing to face any obstacle.

echoes of the ceremony's final applause reverberated through the gymnasium as the graduates tossed their caps into the air, celebrating the end of an era and the beginning of a new chapter. for everyone else, it was a moment of joy and accomplishment, but for the idol, it was a reminder of her solemn commitment.

as the crowd began to disperse, families reuniting with their graduates, lisa waited patiently in the corner, her eyes never leaving you. her cap was lowered, and her shades were resting on her head. she was wearing a mask she snagged from the taxi driver as well, just to make sure no one else would recognize her.

well, no one other than you, of course.

you finished hugging your parents, and over your mother’s shoulder was when you noticed the girl you loved in the corner. at first you thought you were seeing things, but you’d spent too many nights sleeping in lisa’s clothes to not recognize them.

without another second, you ran towards your girlfriend. lisa’s arms opened as she embraced you, hugging you tightly against her chest. tears fell over from both your eyes and hers. it had been months since you two had seen each other, and despite the argument that had occurred just a day prior, you couldn’t care about anything else while being wrapped up in the arms of the idol.

“you came.” you whispered into her chest, tears soaking her jacket. in the tight embrace of lisa's arms, you could feel the steady rhythm of her heart, a comforting reminder that she was real, that she had come back to you despite all the obstacles and the recent argument. tears streamed down your cheeks, mixing with hers, as the emotions of the moment overwhelmed you both.

“anything for you,” the taller girl whispered back, her voice filled with a mixture of relief and remorse. she held you even tighter, as if trying to make up for all the time that had passed since you last saw each other.

“but how? you’re supposed to be performing tonight.” your teary eyes met hers as you looked up at her with confusion.

lisa brushed a strand of hair away from your face, her thumb gently wiping away the tear stains on your cheeks. “i did what i had to do,” she explained, her voice soft yet determined. “i needed to be here for you, that this was more important than any performance.” a mix of surprise and gratitude washed over you. knowing how tightly controlled her schedule usually was, you understood the significance of her decision.

“you're my priority, y/n. i've realized that nothing matters more to me than you, than us. i don't want to miss out on the important moments in your life.”

it was a sentiment that resonated deeply within you. the fact that she was willing to put your relationship before her career, before the demands of fame, filled you with a sense of overwhelming love and devotion.

“but won't there be consequences?” you asked, your concern for her career evident in your voice. lisa cupped your face in her hands, her eyes locking onto yours with unwavering determination.

“i don't care about the consequences. i'll face whatever comes my way. i want to be there for you.” the idol pulled her mask down and pulled you closer to her, speaking to you in the most soft and sincere tone you’d ever heard from her. “i’ll fly halfway across the world for you at the drop of a hat. i’d drop my career and my schedule if you called. you mean more to me than anything else.”

her words hung in the air, a solemn promise that washed away your doubts and fears. in that moment, you realized the depth of her commitment to you, the lengths she was willing to go to make things right.

tears welled up in your eyes once again, but this time, they were tears of gratitude and overwhelming love. you pulled her into another tight hug, clinging to her as if she was your lifeline, because in that moment, she was. “i love you, lili,” you whispered against her shoulder, your voice filled with sincerity and adoration.

“i love you too, y/n,” lisa replied, her words muffled against your hair, but the love in her voice was crystal clear. “more than words can describe, and more than i can express.” she added, gently kissing your forehead.

in that tender moment, under the weight of her love and the sincerity in her voice, you felt a profound sense of peace wash over you. the doubts that had clouded your heart dissipated like mist under the morning sun, leaving behind only the unshakable certainty that you were meant to be together.

“i'd do anything for you,” lisa whispered, her voice soft and unwavering, her eyes gazing into yours with a depth of emotion that left you breathless. “i'll stand by you, no matter what challenges come our way. i'll be your rock, your support, and your greatest cheerleader. you're my everything, and i promise to spend every moment proving that to you.”

with those words, you knew that your love story had weathered the storm and emerged stronger than ever before. in lisa's arms, you found not just solace, but a profound connection that transcended the boundaries of words and actions. it was a love that spoke in the silent moments, in the gentle touches, and in the unwavering presence of one another.

“i think i just fell in love with you all over again,” you whispered back, your voice echoing the depth of your emotions. in that shared promise, you found the strength to face the future, hand in hand, ready to conquer whatever challenges life might throw your way. your girlfriend could only smile, because she knew everything she had done was worth it.

the last minute flight, the kid kicking her seat for 10 hours, the chaos at the airport, the fact that she’d get an earful from her company, her phone dying in the taxi and her losing $200 by paying the driver. none of that mattered to her.

none of it except being here with you.

with a tender kiss against your lips, lisa held you close, sealing the promises made between you two. you knew without the shadow of a doubt now, that the world class idol you loved would do anything for you.

no, lisa would do everything for you. and you could only smile against her lips.

because you knew you’d do anything and everything for her, too.

a/n: thank you for 1.8k :) enjoy this bc i know u all have been waiting for it <3

#blackpink #lisa x reader #jennie #jisoo #rosé #blackpink x reader #original one shot #kpop #angst #attention part 2 #perfectsunlight

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reverseflashes · 9 months

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OWEN MERCER READING GUIDE

Owen Mercer is the son of Digger Harkness (Captain Boomerang) and Meloni Thawne, having been conceived while Digger was trapped in the 30th century. Owen never got to learn Meloni was his mother, and it was never revealed how Owen was sent back to the 21st century.

Owen longed to meet his birth father, but when Digger was killed after a mission to assasinate Tim Drake's father Jack Drake, Owen took the mantle of Captain Boomerang, Jr.

Owen's time in comics was short, but eventful. He was a member of the Rogues, Suicide Squad, SSoSV and Outsiders; before he was killed in Blackest Night.

Owen Mercer is brothers with Bart Allen aka Impulse.

This list contains all the comics Owen had been in, in chronological order.

Happy reading!

Identity Crisis (2004) #3-6

The Flash #217, #219 (cameo)

The Flash (1987) Extra 1/2 (Takes place between #219 and #220)

The Flash (1987) #220-223, #225

Outsiders (2003) #32-38

Robin (1993) #152

Outsiders (2003) #39

Robin (1993) #153

Supergirl (2005) #9

Outsiders (2003) #40

Supergirl (2005) #10

Outsiders (2003) #41-42

Supergirl (2005) #11-12

Outsiders (2003) #43

Supergirl (2005) #13

Outsiders (2003) #44

Supergirl (2005) #14-15

Outsiders (2003) #46

Outsiders (2003) Annual 1

Supergirl (2005) #16

Checkmate (2006) #13

Outsiders (2003) #47

Checkmate (2006) #14

Supergirl (2005) #19

Outsiders (2003) #48

Checkmate (2006) #15

Outsiders (2003) #49-50

Outsiders: Five of a Kind - Nightwing/Boomerang (2007)

Suicide Squad (2007) #3 (cameo), #4-8

Manhunter (2004) #34 (cameos in #33, #35-36)

DC Universe Holiday Special (2009)

Blackest Night: The Flash (2009) #1-3

CAMEO APPEARANCES This is the list of comic book issues where Owen had cameo appearances. He had none to few lines in these issues and didn't have any impact on the events occured in them. They are also listed in chronological order.

52 (2006) #24, #33-34, #45

Countdown (2007) #39

All Flash (2007) In this one-shot, Owen captures Heat-Wave and Weather Wizard, two of the Rogues responsible for Bart's death.

Justice League of America (2006) #15, #17-18.

Robin (1993) #165 (Flashback only)

Catwoman (2002) #74

Salvation Run (2007) #2

Gotham Underground (2007) #1, #3, #6

Blackest Night (2009) #1

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konbartzine · 13 hours

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Kon and Bart's long-standing and evolving friendship from 1994-2020 spanning multiple runs. Together they experience many joys, and tragic losses and challenges - but no matter what they find each other again. Here's a proposed reading list for fans of the duo!

Zero Hour #2

This is the very first time they see each other and are on the same page with each other. They do not interact in any meaningful way, but this is their first passing awareness that the other exists.

Superboy and the Ravers #7

Their first official meeting and team up where they interact, and race each other.

JLA: World Without Grown-Ups

They team up alongside Tim as they navigate the magically altered world of Bedlam. Many key moments include how they work together and their endless banter. This is also their inspiration for starting Young Justice.

Young Justice (1998)

Almost every single issue they are present together will have some GREAT chemistry and moments showing their friendship, but the following stick out for the listed reasons. Issue #1 - The first issue, Kon protects Bart from being shot along with lots of banter that sets the tone between them for the rest of the series. Issue #7 - Bart and Kon banter during their Camping trip, highlights include Kon complimenting Bart’s hair and enthusiastically encouraging him for chasing off hunters with Secret. Issue #9 - Bart and Kon play chess together, showing that when there are downtimes in Young Justice they play games with each other. Issue #22 - Bart tries to help Kon get his powers back with comical results. (Note: this may be THAD but because publication time is not linear to comic in-world time, this is unconfirmed and it must be assumed that this is Bart.) Issue #31 - Bart tries desperately to get Kon to hang out with him, Kon is too busy watching TV. Issue #33 - Kon reaches out to Bart to have a hypothetical conversation but sadly did not compensate for Bart’s autism taking him literally. Issue #45 - Bart and Kon talk about comics and make sandwiches together. Issue #53 - Bart and Kon play Random Trivia, a game exclusive to them.

Young Justice: No Man’s Land

Lots of banter and chemistry as they convince Tim to go to Gotham against Batman’s orders. Kon gives Bart his jacket for safekeeping.

Young Justice #1000000

It’s the 853rd century and although Young Justice is no more, a new version of Impulse and Superboy are just as close as their original selves. Impulse (1995)

Issue #47 - Bart seeks Kon out to ask him about the worrying behavior Superman is displaying. Issue #77 - Bart’s clone is killed on Apokolips in front of Kon - this is a catalyst to Kon’s many issues of depression. Issue #78 - Bart says goodbye to Kon when he quits Young Justice due to PTSD, Kon pets his head.

Superboy (1994)

Issue #83 - Bart tries to help Kon get his swagger back, even to the point of obtaining the Backstreet Boys chemical breakdowns bc he cannot see Kon like this.

Issue #90 - Kon has a soft moment with Cherub who he is attracted to, it is revealed that Cherub is a clone of BOTH Tana and Bart. Issue #91 - The aftermath of Bart’s clone dying on Apokolips pt.1 - Kon reveals he feels it’s all his fault and has resigned that while Bart is in a coma, he is going to die.

Issue #92 - The aftermath of Bart’s clone dying on Apokolips pt.2 - Once back home on the Kent farm Kon, obsesses over Bart’s “death” and current coma to the point of exhaustion and sleeps for 20 hours. Highlights include Bart implying he is wearing a Playboy Bunny outfit, and that Kon has subconscious bi-sexual feelings towards Bart. Issue #99 - Bart as Kid Flash risks death to save a de-powered Kon during the World Without Young Justice arc.

Teen Titans (2003)

Same as with Young Justice, there are a lot of interactions that show they are friends and have a long-standing dynamic even though Geoff re-worked both of their characters into entirely new people. The following are moments when they are alone and show blatant friendship. Issue #25 - Bart tries to get through to Kon during his possession, and refuses to fight him. Issue #82 - Kon protects Bart from Holocaust’s blast, then Bart beats the hell out of Holocaust for barely tapping Kon. Issue #83 - Kon seeks Bart out and talks about his relationship with Cassie. Issue #88 - A quiet moment between Bart and Kon as Bart reveals he is forgetting the future they were resurrected in. Issue #90 - Bart and Kon play pingpong, once again showing that they like to play games together.

Infinite Crisis

Issue #7 - Bart goes ballistic on Superboy Prime after he kills Kon.

Countdown #43

Bart’s funeral and he speaks directly to Kon, sadly Kon never got to hear it because he was dead at the time as well. Final Crisis Legion of Three Worlds

Issues #4-#5 - Bart and Kon reunite and are resurrected together after dying.

Superboy (2011)

Issue #3 - Kon reaches out to Bart to propose a charity Race to benefit the Smallville community. Bart agrees. Issue #5 - Bart and Kon race and take time to catch up and talk.

Kid Flash Lost

Issue #1 - Bart talks about Kon and their movie nights.

Young Justice (2019)

Bart and Kon reunite in Young Justice after being in comic limbo since 2011.

Issue #1 - Bart and Kon are reunited after the reboot. Issue #2 - Bart and Kon’s continuing reunion. Issue #14 - Bart rallies Young Justice and many other heroes together to save Kon from Dr. Glory. Issue #15 - Bart reveals what happened to Kon and why he did not reboot. Issue #16 - Bart and Kon have a revealing conversation about the time they lost and Bart reveals how he ‘broke time’ to try and find Kon. Issue #17 - Bart films Kon beating Lex Luthor with Tim’s phone bc he knew Kon would want to see it, Kon hugs Bart.

#konbart #bartkon #bart allen #kon el #impulse dc #superboy #superpulse

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radioactive-earthshine · 4 months

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i hope this isn't too big of an ask but i have an idea for a fic with jenni and bart and i really want to get jenni right. is it possible that you could create a jenni specific reading list? i basically want to read only the comics she shows up in. im not saying that legion of supers is bad i just dont have the time to read everything for one person.

Post-Zero Hour Legion of Super-Heroes but it's only Jenni Ognats Reading List (you're still reading a lot of comics anon).

** NOTE ** Jenni is a reoccurring character in two comic series that run simultaneously for a long time; Legionnaires and Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) - you will be flipping back and forth between series. For my sanity, I am grouping the series separately and listing just the issues she appears in.

Suggested Flash reading

Impulse (1995)

#9-#12

The Flash (1987)

#108-#111 #145 - #150

The Flash 80 Page Giant (1999) #2

Single issue. Jenni uncovers some history concerning Wally that leaves her hopeful...

Other suggested comics

Young Justice: Our Worlds at War Special

Single issue, not much happens but she does meet with Bart.

Green Lantern (1990)

#98 - Jenni meets Kyle Rayner and talks about how Green Lanterns and Speedsters go together, Kyle nopes out.

#jenni ognats #flashfam #the flash #xs #losh #legion of super heroes #dc comics

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assorted-candy · 6 months

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20 Q's for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @dp-marvel94! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

I've just posted my 22nd work a few days ago!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

37,763

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far, all my published fics are for Danny Phantom. It's a fandom that's near and dear to my heart and my favorite to write for. I've written fanfiction for myself in a lot of different fandoms over the years. Miraculous Ladybug, Mega Man (Star Force, Battle Network) and Fire Emblem are a few. (Will these ever see the light of day? Probs not, lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 5. Frayed Ends - 37 kudos - Jazz and Maddie are fighting more often. Jack wants to reach out and help his family. 4. The Same Blood - 45 kudos - Maddie and Jack try to help a sick girl that collapsed in front of their house. They don't know what to make of her condition. Danny wants to help.

3. Returned Home - 49 kudos - Maddie finds Danny at home after he disappeared ten months ago.

2. The Broken Pieces Left Behind - 66 kudos (tie) - Maddie knew what the portal did to Danny. If she could create something that essentially turned him into a ghost, she could figure out a way to fix all of it. Even if she hasn't made any progress in the past two months, she'll keep trying. She didn't account for what Danny wanted. 1 . What's Out of Out Control - 66 kudos (tie) - Danny thought he had it under control. He thought he could finally hang out like they used to always do. Tucker could feel the rift between them widening. It wasn't getting smaller anytime soon.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! There were a few comments from my two earlier fics that I never responded to and it's already been so long and I feel like I ended up putting it off too long to say anything now 😓But I'm so so thankful for all the comments I receive! I never thought anyone would read my work, let alone comment on it. I'm always between two modes of 'author commentary' and 'screaming thank you and running away'.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lol, I love my angsty stuff and there are so many different flavors of angst, so it's hard to pick just one. I'd say the piece I aimed to write for Angst Fest, The Broken Pieces Left Behind, might be it. It ends on a rather hopeless note for the Fenton family that even I don't know how to make everything better for them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Home for a Cat. It was for a Ectoberhaunt prompt that I was absolutely stumped on. So I decided someone was going to adopt a cat by the end of the fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ahh, so I actually posted a fic on FFN wayyy back when I was in high school. I remember it being received pretty well but I got a really rude comment on a simple spelling mistake. Back then, I was just told I had dyslexia a few years prior and I had some really bad self-esteem issues tied in with that. So, yeah, that comment basically made me terrified to ever show my work to anyone ever.

It's been over ten years since then and I wanted to actually get over that fear. I impulsively decided to do Angst Fest with the mindset that no one would even look at what I posted. Not only did people look, everyone has been so kind!!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lkdajldkf, nope. I get flustered trying to write basic romance and having two characters hold hands, lmao. Major props to those that can, it's definitely a skill that takes time to master just like any other genre.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Also haven't had this either.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but it seems like a lot of fun.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Back when the show was airing, Amethyst Ocean (Danny/Sam) was my go to. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers tropes and it's really nostalgic for me. But, I don't really read a lot of shippy things for Danny Phantom, so ships don't make or break a fic for me.

If I'm looking to read romance, the whole Love Square (MariChat my beloved) with Miraculous Ladybug will always be great. Even if I jumped ship on the show around season 2 or 3 and I have no clue what they're doing now, lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I honestly have so many WIPs that are unfinished on my computer from over the years. Maybe a super old one that I titled 'Phantoms in the Daylight'. Angst once more with Character Death as the main pain point. I like the beginning but oh boy, does it get sloppy and confusing real quick. I'd need serious outlining energy put into it if I'd ever want to salvage it and I just don't have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Give me two blorbos and I'll make them talk forever.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery and description. I love the dialogue portion so much that I end up running into the floating heads in an empty room problem in the first drafts of my fics. My first round of edits are dedicated to making sure I have a scene and grounding characters into it. And then I have to go back later to make it not feel so robotic sounding.

(Also a weakness but more as in fic than writing. Summaries and Titles. I stare at my drafts on AO3's editor for at least half an hour trying to pull something together, lol)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I can probably talk about this for hours, lol. I absolutely love foreign languages, especially when it comes to linguistics. So, I'll try to be brief, lmao. Short answer: depends on the fic but normally no. I already spend so much time fussing over the word choice/slang/formality/dialect characters use in my native language. I don't have a good enough grasp on another language for it to sound natural to the reader. ("They would not fucking say that" is my internal monologue during dialogue edits, lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It's a toss up between Pokemon and Danny Phantom. I first learned about fanfiction from a friend who showed me FFN for the Pokemon fics. I looked around the site and found all of the Danny Phantom fics soon after and got hooked on those. I started writing around then and it would have been for one of those two.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hard to chose one! Writing technicality wise, I'm proud of how What Remains on the Table turned out. I consider description my weak point, so the original draft was 0 dialogue with very stiff descriptions. I was able to edit it to really practice my environmental storytelling. (Although, please mind the tags if you click the link as it does deal with the dissection topic)

I'm not sure who's been tagged and I'm not sure who writes fanfic, so @lavendarlily, @fangirlwriting-stories, @grub-xd, @nanaarchy and anyone else that wants to join!

#tag game #danny phantom #fanfic authors #candy-posts

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inevitablysomber-dark · 1 year

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Shackled (Chapter 13)

Dark! Rafe Cameron x Pogue! Reader

Warning: There are some intense, dubiously consenting and nonconsensual sexual themes in this series, MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. MINORS DNI.

Summary: You hate Outer Banks with a passion and are working hard to get out despite all the obstacles in your way. Rafe himself eventually becomes one of those obstacles after a night of low impulse control. Will you be able to overcome him or with you have no choice but to submit.

Slow Burn

Series Masterlist

Pain

You were in so much pain.

Your face was throbbing, your eyes were swollen shut, and it hurt to breathe.

You couldn't feel your left leg, and the intense pain from your right arm was fading in and out.

Despite being visually impaired, after a brief moment of concluding that you were still alive, quick insight from the sounds and smells surrounding you made you realize you were probably in the hospital.

Outside of the beeps from the machines, and chatter from the nurses, what really got you was the robust and antiseptic smell most hospitals exuded.

You were exhausted.

A brief moment of relaxation forced the memories of last night to fill your head.

Your father, unhinged and high as he took years of deranged aggression out on you, his confession that only confirmed the suspicions you've had all of these years, his awareness of your plans to flee Outerbanks.

Only one person would have been able to give him that information, and if you ever saw him again, you would kill him.

What the hell possessed Rafe to run to your father anyways. Was that supposed to convince you to stay?

It didn't matter.

A painful sigh forced a sharp up your spine, causing you to wince.

"Why, hello there." you try to turn your head toward the motherly voice. "Now, Now you shouldn't be forcing yourself to move too much,"

You sensed her body move around you before her hands began fixing what you assumed were blankets covering your body. You open your mouth to ask what happened, but a sharp, bruising pain only allows a squeak to escape.

"Charlie really did a number on you." the more you heard her speak, the more you realized it was Nurse Annie Rose, a practitioner who had been taking care of just about everyone at The Cut for the last 45 years, give or take, or at least that was her M.O. "I'm sorry to say, but I always expected that man to blow up, never thought it would be on his poor daughter,"

You squeak, wanting to say it wasn't him, to defend him. When you realized what you had planned to do, you couldn't help but feel disgusted with yourself. Why were you still trying to protect this man?

"Oh, hush up, sweetheart, now can you hear me, raise one finger for Yes and one for No" She touches your arm, and you raise one finger.

"Good. Now can you understand what I'm saying?" You raise one finger for yes. "Good, now I'm going to explain what happened, ok. Do you think you'll be able to keep up?"

You put up one finger. "Alright, if it does get to be a bit too much for you, just pinch my hand, ok." she slid her hand under your hand you could feel the wrinkles and veins throughout it.

"So it looks like you have a bruised Larynx, which is why you can't speak, and we did give you a small cervical brace just in case you may have sustained any neck injuries." you feel her move her clipboard around " You also have a dislocated shoulder and a few fractures in your right arm."

You try to fill your lungs, but your breath hitches from the pain.

"Careful, you also have several broken ribs, one of which punctured your lung and forced it to collapse, and you also have a sprained ankle. We've given you a few meds to help with the pain. The swelling in your face should go down enough for you to see tomorrow."

Fuck, you were damaged. How were you supposed to leave now?

"Your voice should also be returning tomorrow, albeit not without issues, so I would take it easy for a bit." she took another breath. Even though you couldn't see, you could tell that she was contemplating your state. "Now, you have a few guests who wanted to see you, but seeing as how you're under strict observation at the moment, I had to send them away, but they'll be coming in tomorrow evening to see you."

You could guess who it was. How did Rafe find out so quick? Was he the one that found you in the middle of the road? Was he waiting to play knight in shining armor?

"Now, are you ok?" Nurse Annie gently pulls your hand into her, rubbing the back of your hand with her thumb. You squeeze her hand back and lift one finger.

"Good, so we can't give you any food now because we have a few tests to run that require you to fast for at least 8 hours, but if you do need some water, just push this button here," she slides what you assume is the nurse call button under your hand, "and they'll know what you need, they will also assist you when you need to use the facilities."

"Im off, but I will be checking in on you periodically, alright, sweetheart?"

You lift a finger, and she moves to leave.

As you hear her footsteps disappear, one thought invades your head.

You needed to get out of there.

***

You woke up with your eyes open for a start. You could see, and you couldn't be happier. The swelling in your face went down, and even though it hurt to speak, your voice had a foundation.

Your morning was irritating, getting pricked and poked, medicated, and examined. Waiting over an hour to use the bathroom because they needed a waste sample.

Finally, lunchtime hit, and you could put something in your stomach. You'd never thought you'd be so grateful for soft meatloaf, soggy mashed potatoes, and overcooked veggies. It was also time for your planned escape.

You didn't need to go back home. One of your nurses showed you where your clothes were in the patient closet. You had enough money to catch a ride on the ferry to the mainland. There you would go to the bank to withdraw funds and buy a ticket out of North Carolina. You didn't need to stay, something in your gut was telling you to run, and you intended to listen to it.

When the coast was cleared, you got up as quickly as possible to get ready for your grand escape. It was challenging to breathe, and every step shot a burst of pain through you.

It took 30 minutes to put your clothes on. The struggle was imminent as you had to pace yourself.

Leaving the hospital was a bad idea, but staying could be worse.

You moved carefully through the small hospital, ensuring no one saw or heard you. It wasn't as difficult as you thought, considering they had other patients to attend to.

The trek to the ferry was long and arduous as you felt your body getting weaker and weaker. Getting worse as you hit the waves to the mainland. The stares of those around you didn't help. It was as if they were watching a dying puppy struggle to survive.

When you got to the bank, your credentials weren't working through the atm, so you were forced to go in. You first notice that Kelly isn't there, and you don't want to put any trust in any of these other tellers, so the first thing you do when it's your turn is ask for her.

The teller is taken aback by your face, but she slowly gets back into her groove.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kelly no longer works with our company, but maybe there's something that I can do?"

"What happened?" you asked, voice scratchy and weak.

"Unfortunately, we are unable to discuss the details of her termination with outsiders. In the meantime, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Ok," you say, unsure of yourself because you always worked with Kelly. Still, you were also desperate, so you gave the teller your credentials.

"I'm sorry, it looks like your account has been frozen and seems to be in the process of being seized" she looks at you expectantly, but all you feel is confusion. "I can go ahead and put in an appeal if you'd like, but if you want more information on this process, I can only provide this number."

She hands you a card with a number written on it. You decide to file the appeal to keep up appearances and head back to the ferry.

There was no way this was a coincidence, and you were not getting that account back. You buy a ferry ticket using the last of your money and regret it as soon as you hit the waters.

Coming back was an admission of defeat. If you had stayed, you could've gone back to the strip club. You were sure Sam would be willing to help you till you got back on your feet, not without a price, but you at least wouldn't be heading back to the fucking island.

Fatigue and weakness overtake your body once more. It had been rolling through you in waves all day.

If you went back to Barry, you could get some product, sell enough to pay him back and get another ferry ride back to the mainland. Get Sam or maybe one of the other girls to help you out.

As you reached the dock, you could feel a migraine pressure forming in your head. It was late, and it would take forever to get back to Barry in this condition, but you had to try, you needed to get away.

#Dark!Rafe Cameron #Dark!Rafe Cameron x Reader #Dark! Rafe Cameron x Pogue! Reader #Dark OBX #Pogue! Reader #Pogue Reader #dark fics #Rafe Cameron c Reader #Outer Banks #series #Shackled #Shackled Series #dub con #dubcon #dubious consent #abuse #parental abuse #near-death experience

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puppybong · 2 months

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was reading impulse and in #45 there's this guy called the green cigarette who shows up and fails to rob a bank then gives 50 bucks to impulse's school and i think i want him carnally can they make him show up more and can we bomb DC if they don't

reread the issue for you so i could respond accurately but this is so so so so so so so precious. And also agree i would smoke him in 1 breath

#ask

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sincerely-sofie · 1 day

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45. Since you've said that just about every character you've written is a self insert, what's the character you relate to the most? Or a character that isn't yours?

45. Name a few characters you relate to?

In the TPiaG cast, I relate to everyone pretty equally! They all reflect different facets of my personality and life experiences, at least with how I've written them. As for characters that aren't mine / in TPiaG... Oof. Oh man. I'm going to embarrass myself doing this, I just know it. But here goes nothing. Now presenting the informal Sincerely-Sofie kin list!

Ranboo and TommyInnit's characters from Dream SMP

I'd never heard of Ranboo as a content creator before my friends busted in the door to my DMs to say his character was Literally Sofie and I needed to check these compilation videos of him Right This Very Second. I didn't believe them at first. But then I watched a couple vids and was like "Ah. I see. He IS Literally Sofie."

I had to avoid watching anything put out by Ranboo for his DSMP character because the guy's acting was so good I would feel down for days after watching his lore. That one scene in the panic room where he's talking with the voice in his head hit too close to home, and I couldn't watch anything else by him afterward because it would send me backsliding emotionally. It was very cathartic, don't get me wrong! But psychosis was a bit too fresh of a wound at the time for me to start revisiting.

TommyInnit's character is one that I think people might be surprised I relate to, but his prey animal rage is something I find very relatable. I might be projecting too many headcanons onto him, however. I've written a fair number of fics focusing on Tommy, and I never was certain if he was very in-character.

Hunter from The Owl House

I haven't watched The Owl House in full, and don't have the means to do so, but Oh My Word. Hunter is just me in a different outfit. Geeky little ADHD-having, people-pleasing, dumb-dumb itty bitty trauma-experiencing baby boy. I see him and I see my teenage self. That one scene in that montage where the main cast are in the human world and he gets a haircut because he's having issues with his hair being triggering? I've lived that! I hardly have to project onto him because he's already me.

Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle (the movie specifically)

Book Sophie is too sassy for me to compare myself to, haha. But movie Sophie is pretty relatable! Being hesitant yet impulsive, lacking confidence when it comes to herself but finding it easy to take a leadership role and advocate for others— heck, I even had identical hair to her when I was younger, complete with those annoying little wispy hairs coming out from her hairline! I also used to have a habit of talking to inanimate objects before anxiety beat that trait out of me.

One might assume the name was a contributing factor to me relating to her. Now would probably be a good time to reveal Sofie is just a pen name, not my real one ^^;

My Melody from Sanrio

Take my word for it: this rabbit is my fursona I commissioned from Sanrio. You all need to know that this is what I look like when I'm reading your asks + the tags on your reblogs. I was originally planning to run a blog themed around My Melody. My Melody??? More like ME Melody.

#sofie answers asks #ask game #dream smp #dsmp #the owl house #toh #howls moving castle #hmc #sanrio

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oftoska · 2 months

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experience, first time, horny

Experience. How experienced are they? How many different partners did they have?

Relatively. Mal isn't incredibly sexual of a person and doesn't have a very high sex drive in comparison to some (I'd say he's average in that department), but he is a human and he does have needs. A lot of his discovery came about when he was in high school considering he joined the Navy right out of that (marched into a recruiter's office as soon as he had his diploma in his hand) and he fine-tuned his likes and interests during leaves from duty. His SEAL team operates out of Virginia so he lived on or around base for a good chunk of his life which included more than the occasional night out. He's picked up his fair share of women then.

Definitely more than 10 partners, considering at the time of his main verse he's 45 and has had his moments of want or heavier desire. But again, he's not the most sexually driven individual and finds it pretty easy to stifle down or sideline that urge.

First time. What was their first time like? When did it happen? Did they enjoy it?

He was 16 and it was one of the girls that worked on the family's farm as a summer/after school job. She was a particularly talented ranch hand and had a way with the horses. Her name was Cheyenne, and I'd like to think that in another lifetime or in another universe he got to settle down and marry her. Canonically (to him, considering he's an original character) he thinks about her a lot even in the post-apocalypse and secretly hopes she both survived and had a good life after he left for the military.

Cheyenne was familiar with Malcolm's living situation but didn't coddle him. It wasn't just horses she had a way with but there was something about her that seemed to calm him down and bring out that soft side that exists in him somewhere. They were the same age, they spent the night in one of the pastures drinking and listening to music, and it came from a long-earned kiss born of yearning. The entire scenario was sort of storybook, if he thinks back on it.

Being that they were kids, it was awkward. However it was something they did both enjoy considering for the next 2 years they snuck off and fucked as often as two horny teenagers could. (It's really a wonder she didn't end up pregnant). If he had one regret about leaving home it was leaving her behind, but she always understood his need to get away from home. Lest he end up in prison.

Horny. How high is their sex drive? Do they have a lot of sex or is it a more occasional thing? Is sex, in general, important to them?

Mal has an average sex drive. A lot of his time was spent in active duty or deployed and there really isn't time to consider or concern himself with physical gratification. That aside and considering the circumstances of his home life in his formative years, there's a pretty serious amount of trauma and mental issues associated with Mal as a person that he needs to address before really allowing himself to be a more physical person. It's easier ultimately if he keeps it an occasional, casual thing.

As it stands presently, sex isn't very important to him. For however much time in his main verse has passed since the world ended, Mal has stifled down the urge and it's not even a remote consideration. With any one of his current or potential ships it's definitely something that needs to be earned and conveyed pretty flatly in order for him to really dredge that particular desire up. In any pre-apocalypse verses he needs some sort of emotional connection to be formed before he can act on that impulse - unless it's a casual arrangement or a one-off.

However once he becomes emotionally involved with someone and all of the fun gymnastics that come with that ordeal and once he's settled that he can be both emotionally and physically intimate with them ... it does become important. It's a means of connection and conveying those big scary feelings he pretends he's incapable of. It's where the romantic in him really shines.

sexual abc's, accepting.

#answers.#study.#usfw tw #lotuskissed

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isfjmel-phleg · 8 months

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Comics are not meant to have a consistent internal timeline. They take place whenever they need to, which is usually whatever the present day is, even if that amount of time hasn't gone by within the story. That's just how it works. Trying to create a consistent timeline for a comic is pointless to attempt.

So I went through Impulse taking notes on whatever each issue reveals of when it's set. I didn't try to reconcile anything--that's impossible--but I wanted to see if there was at least a vague notion of the passage of time. Here are some observations about what I found.

The year is always whatever the current year is. The earliest issues are set in 1995 and the last one in 2002, even though it hasn't been seven years for the characters. (Although there's an issue late in the series in which Bart talks about his eagerness for high school and how he feels like he's been in middle school for years.)

Bart and Max seem to arrive in Manchester in May, although Bart’s schoolgoing doesn’t seem to match that—he’s not on summer break shortly after.

The first six issues cover maybe less than a couple of weeks. By #9, Bart is said to have been with Max for at least two months.

In #24, Bart tells his mother that he’s been in the twentieth century for a couple years, but this seems like too long a time period for what we’ve seen of his adventures. It’s probable that it only has felt like two years to him. In #25, Bart is said to have been with Max for “months and months.” In #32, set maybe a few weeks after Bart’s return from his attempt to move back to the thirtieth century, it’s said to have been nearly six months since #6, which takes place over a week into Bart’s time in Manchester. So my best guess is that Bart’s time with Max before Meloni comes to get him (#1-24) is about four or five months.

Bart’s first Halloween is in #44, while he and Max are living with Helen. There are two separate Christmases shown in surprisingly close proximity in #45 and #57, as well as the story “No, Bart, There Is No Santa Claus” in DC Universe Holiday Bash #3, which was released at the same time as #44 and might be the same Christmas as in #45. Bart’s first April Fool’s Day is seen in #50 and is set during his living at Helen’s house and after his joining Young Justice; since it’s a sequence that Thad is watching, it’s possible that it takes place earlier chronologically than where it’s placed.

Inertia makes himself known to Bart on the day of a Fourth of July fair in #52 (yet Bart recently got a report card). But by #54, it’s already September and just before the start of school. Where did the rest of the summer go? #57 is Christmas Eve and #59 is Valentine’s Day. #63 shows a June date on a test but by #67, weeks later, it’s around Halloween. There’s no way to make sense of this.

The Mercury Falling arc lasts several weeks. Over a week later, Bart starts to realize he’s romantically interested in Carol, only to lose her to distant time traveling during the Dark Tomorrow arc, which takes place over about a day. Within the next few weeks, he joins Young Justice in doing their part in a war, goes to Apokolips, experiences his own death vicariously, goes into a coma for several days, and returns to school the following week. Around this time, he decides to give up being Impulse and his membership in Young Justice. He resumes the Impulse identity about two weeks later. As little as less than a week later, Max disappears into the speed force. About a week after, Bart moves to Denver to live with the Garricks.

Therefore, Bart goes through a series of traumas and dramatic life changes within the space of three to four months. His losing Carol and his not-quite-death and coma take place over about a month, and it’s no wonder that he has a depressive episode in #78. Not even he can be that resilient for that long.

In #71, the narration states that Max has been Bart’s mentor “for the past year or so.” In #75, Carol claims that she and Bart have known each other “a couple of years,” although she has known him for as long as he’s been with Max—is she rounding up? In #79, it’s said that it’s been “a little over a year” since Bart and Max moved in with Helen, which would suggest that they’ve lived in Manchester a year and a half at most. The final issue, #89, which takes place not very long after that, states that it’s been “a few short years” since Bart became Impulse, which would include the unspecified amount of time he spent living with Wally and Iris after arriving in the twentieth century, before he and Max moved to Manchester.

Given this information, the timeline that makes the most sense to me is for Bart to have spent a few months at most with Wally and Iris in Keystone City, then four or five months with just Max in Manchester, then about a year and a half with Max and Helen, and then less than a month with the Garricks in Denver by the end of the series—a bit over two years. If time were passing normally, by the end of the series, Bart should be about sixteen (or four, chronologically) and in eleventh grade.

#comicsposting again #BA: fastest attitude alive #I should do the same for Kon's solo which is an even faster rollercoaster of nonstop trauma

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tmnm · 10 months

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Intro 1- the human kids

Okay, I don’t particularly know how to start but early on, I want the human kids to be more prominent and be given actual character, and I’m starting this also with the humans, because we have an oc in the pile!

I tried to go more in depth with their personalities and their development, just some descriptions because I’m not sure how to kick off the plot.

(small warning for mentioned transphobia?)

April O’Neil

Starting off with April, she has kraang features from the start, and she’s a nervous cryptid child who will bite. She’s very attached to the concept of fitting in and being ‘normal’, she doesn't want to be seen as an outgroup.

April’s definitely the mom friend, she took a lot after her dad (who’s way more prominent in plots) and she has a heart of gold. However, she tends to blame herself for everything and is a huge people pleaser to feel included. She has the flavor of autism where she wants to know people and wants to fit in.

She lived in Northampton with her parents until she was 6, but for some reason her dad fled to the city one day with her, and now he doesn’t talk about it. She’s been friends with Casey since diapers, and she really doesn’t have that many friends. She’s not completely out, but she’s on the aroace spectrum and a lesbian.

While everyone else in the group run to danger, she curls up into a ball and cries for 45 minutes before biting.

Casey Arnold Jones (later Casey Jones O’Neil)

Casey has depth as a character now! He’s very impulsive and has an ironclad moral compass, tending to run off from the group to fit his morals. He has the power of tmasc gay man power, don’t know where to throw that in

His home life is very similar to IDW, the main difference is that Kirby has essentially adopted him at this point.

He’s a ball of repressed emotions, and he has little to no self preservation because of that, he is very prone to getting carried away and he gets very defensive when he’s not included or looked down upon.

He’s the flavor of adhd that’s very empathetic, but it just turns into him getting upset because of it, he tends to like fighting and hockey because he can get his pent up issues out, he tends to fight a lot with people and has a very strong moral compass

Isabella Del Toro (later Isabella “D’este” Hamato)

Isabella is new to the friend group, she only joined the summer before after moving from Washington. She moved there for better physical therapy after losing her right leg, and she’s getting used to a prosthetic.

She was a jammer in roller derby before that, and her coming out as a girl (and also bi but less so) put a huge wedge in her relationship with her parents, who aren’t accepting.

She’s the flavor of adhd that she plays everything off as a joke, she doesn’t take anything seriously so she doesn’t think about it too hard, she knows her situation is fucked up but she’s too tired to admit that.

She’s less reckless and stays more to the side of fights, but when she’s in the heat of the battle, she usually needs to be dragged out of the situation because she’s either gotten her ass kicked or stopped in the middle of a murder.

She leans heavily on distractions, she appreciates helping people partly because she feels better knowing she’s leaving the world a little better than it was before, but also because she’s pissed that nobody helps them.

The vigilante stuff™️

Casey and Isabella are vigilantes, and April is confused on why they’d put themselves out there in blatant danger, while the other two are confused why she doesn’t see her connections as a call to action.

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 oc #tmnt oc #2012 tmnt #2012 april #2012 casey jones #tmnt2012 #2012 tmnt rewrite

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selectivechaos · 1 year

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potential subtypes of sm

conceptualising 3 potential subtypes of sm:

“In fact, the lower anxiety scores for large selective mutism samples could reflect the fact that some children with Selective Mutism have considerable anxiety, while others do not have significant levels” (p. 36)“exhibit primary symptoms of social anxiety, including fears of speaking, fears that others will make fun of them if they speak, worries of others hearing their voices, and any other anxiety-based symptoms”. (p. 36) neurodevelopmental disorders, especially communication (speech and language) disorders, but also social, emotional, and fine motor delays (pp. 36-40)

“the prevalence of selective mutism is nearly four times higher for immigrant children than nonimmigrant children (Elizur & Perednik, 2003)” (p. 41). Elizur & Perednik’s comparison of sm in immigrant and native children suggested a symptomatic subtype: sm immigrant children had distinct symptoms: very high social anxiety but normative social skills/peer relationships. Whereas native children (source says ‘English as primary lang’) had high comorbidity, high social anxiety, high neurodevelopmental disorder, and low social skills, and earlier age of onset. “their selective mutism could be triggered by a variety of stressors that interact with a more generalized maladjustment, while immigrant children’s selective mutism could be more specifically related to language demands (Elizur & Perednik, 2003)”. (pp. 41-2). “Immigration status and the issues surrounding it, such as acculturation, learning a second language, possible discrimination, and peer ostracism, may also deserve unique attention in the effort to understand selective mutism in immigrant children (Cohen et al., 2006)” (p. 45) (pp. 41-45)

sensory and self-regulation issues. “Children with poor self-regulation may present as shy, timid, and mute in some social situations; however, in more comfortable situations, their behavioral presentation is in stark contrast: loud, impulsive, and hyperactive (Cunningham et al., 2004; Greenspan, 1997).” (p. 46). “for the selectively mute child, Greenspan (1997) notes that organization of emotional concepts is often missing in many environments. For typical children, the use of words minimizes the sense of urgency to act out the feelings, such as saying “I love my mommy.” It also lessens the urgency to cling to the mother and not let her out of sight.” (p. 46) (pp. 45-46).

summary:

high/clinical social anxiety with neurodevelopmental disorders;

immigrant with very high social anxiety but normative social skills;

sensory and self-regulation issues increases the contrast in communication.

🌹🌹

#selective mutism #situational mutism #social anxiety disorder #mentalheathawareness #chaos-exhausted

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soullikethesea · 1 year

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Coping through media, system work (TW)

I’m still mulling over the things that got brought up by the work with the voice therapist. It connects to multiple parts and gets kind of complicated, but I really wanted to write it down somewhere anyway. Sorry if it gets vague and long-winded. So, there’s this song that somehow connects. N. was the first part who connected with it. These are the lyrics (Elliott Smith - 2:45 AM): I'm going out sleepwalking Where mute memories start talking The boss that couldn't help but hurt you And the pretty thing he made desert you I'm going out like a baby A naive, unsatisfiable baby Grabbing onto whatever's around For the soaring high or the crushing down With hidden cracks that don't show But they constantly just grow I'm looking for the man that attacked me While everybody was laughing at me You beat it in me, that part of you But I'm gonna split us back in two. Sometimes I feel as though N. is an internalized version of the scared, impulsive, ashamed little boy my dad must have been. I think my dad also got confused about this when I was a child. For example, he gifted me boy’s clothes and kept shaming me. For years he kept telling me that I was like him, bad like him. The part that’s like a baby, grabbing onto whatever’s around, is the attachment cry part (M.). It’s as though my spirit just burst apart from all of the different action impulses at the time. She seems to carry the unbearable pain of longing, crying and pleading: but the Old Pain of that, from when I was a toddler. Lucas carries the more grown up version of that pain. His coping is Control (Halsey - Control). I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones. It reminds me a lot of the show Avatar the Last Airbender. The Fire Nation is all about control. Lucas was designed to be like Azula - fiercely loyal, perfectionistic and in CONTROL. It’s taken a lot of work for him to slowly turn away from our father. I used the story of Charmander in Pokémon to help him see that the rest of the system is like Ash who saved Charmander from the deadly abandonment of his original trainer. (We are here to help, we are a team). Slowly, very slowly, we are working on following impulses and taking up space. It’s paying off. Well, at least in the way that people around me are noticing my “resilience” and commenting on it regularly now. It feels so awkward. Today the voice therapist commented on it and last week my father did. I don’t know how to tell them that actually nothing has changed. I keep fighting like I did when I was a child. And when I was a child that was called being Way Too Sensitive and Weak, and now suddenly it’s called Resilience? I think that my voice issues have something to do with how I always try to be brave and meet expectations, even when inside I actually feel really small. I try to meet expectations no matter what - like back then in trauma time. As a child it was like: no matter what happened to me just now, *now* I need to be functional and “normal”. People had no idea. Now I do the same thing and now they call it Resilience. Back then I was just Weird.

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radioactive-earthshine · 2 months

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Impulse (1995) #45

Twice in one year two people closest to him are victims of gun violence which he blames himself for having happened in the first place when neither were his fault. He doesn't know or believe that yet though. Bart's struggles are bottle-necking and he is coming to the same headspace that Preston had way back in the issue when he was dealing with his institutionalized mother - was the reason why his family falling apart his fault?

#orla reads impulse #bart allen #max mercury #cw gun violence

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synchronousemma · 2 years

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3rd July: Emma hears that Jane Fairfax had been seen wandering about the meadows, at some distance from Highbury, on the afternoon of the very day on which she had, under the plea of being unequal to any exercise, so peremptorily refused to go out with her in the carriage

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Read: Vol. 3, ch. 9 [45]; p. 257 ("When Emma afterwards heard" to "any thing to reprove").

Context

Emma learns that Jane must have declined to see her in particular.

We know that this occurs sometime after Emma’s invitation was refused and sometime before the revelations of 4th July.

Readings and Interpretations

A Walk on the Moors

This section leads us to imagine (though we do not ‘see’) Jane wandering “beyond the outskirts of the communicable knowledge that should inform village life” (Fry, p. 132). Her motion, though it is not at present understood by the denizens of Highbury, may be observed; as Roger Sales points out, this incident, in which Emma learns of Jane’s wandering despite not having witnessed it herself, proves that “Jane’s movements are monitored and discussed in ways that are very different from the gossip that surrounds Mr Elton’s trip to London. His right to be on the road is not questioned. She is subjected to a different kind of surveillance” (p. 157).

For John Wiltshire, this communication changes Emma’s understanding of Jane’s illness. Where before she was “willing to read Jane’s condition as a physical illness” and sent her “Hartfield arrowroot (presumably for her digestion),” this “telling glimpse of [Jane’s] desperate extremity)” causes her to “see[], or intuit[], that Jane’s breakdown has something to do with her own failures of perception” (p. 142).

Just Deserts

Critics at large read this and the preceding few sections in terms of Emma’s moral development. In a conventional reading of the novel, Emma’s repentance over the Box Hill episode marks her last (or penultimate) moral crisis, and the first one to ‘stick’. Alistair Duckworth writes:

Emma’s repentance is genuine, and the novel succeeds in achieving, in the end, a positive vision of society. But something of the seriousness of the issues treated is revealed in Jane Austen’s careful choice of a religious vocabulary in the closing chapters: we hear, for example, of Emma’s “contrition” and “penitence” [vol. 3, ch. 8 [44]; p. 247]. Given the degree of her transgression, moreover, her absolution cannot be immediate; Miss Bates and Jane Fairfax for a long time resist her penitential overtures. But henceforth her sorrow and guilt, unlike her previous temporary resolutions to suppress her imaginative tendencies, are real. Now her eyes are “towards Donwell” (378), the proper home of her values, and […] all her actions are now considered in the light of Knightley’s imagined regard: “could Mr. Knightley have been privy to all her attempts of assisting Jane Fairfax, could he even have seen into her heart, he would not ... have found any thing to reprove.” (p. 177)

Similarly, per Bernard Paris:

Emma is comfortable once more, but things are not as they were before. An important change has taken place in her pride system and in her relation to Knightley. The self-hate and humiliation which she has experienced as a result of her own error have made her afraid of her pride and uncertain of her ability to live up to her shoulds. As a means of self-protection, she submits to Knightley's judgment and authority. If she acts and feels as he would wish, she will be certain of maintaining both his esteem and her own. She makes him an omniscient observer of her moral life, adding in this way the fear of his judgments to her own shoulds as a motive for the repression of all unacceptable impulses. She begins not only to act, but also to feel properly toward Jane and Miss Bates. When Jane rejects her kind attentions, she is “mortified” at being “given so little credit for proper feeling, or esteemed so little worthy as a friend.” But she has “the consolation of knowing that her intentions were good, and of being able to say to herself, that could Mr. Knightley have been privy to all her attempts of assisting Jane Fairfax, could he even have seen into her heart, he would not, on this occasion, have found any thing to reprove” (III, ix). Emma is still proud of her goodness, but she experiences her pride now through Knightley’s imagined approval rather than through a direct identification with her idealized image. (pp. 88–9)

Michele Larrow compares this paradigm, in which Emma considers her actions in light of Mr. Knightley’s imagined responses to them, to some of Adam Smith’s moral philosophy:

To behave appropriately and with good self-command, Smith proposes that we examine our behavior as we imagine it would be seen by outsiders, using the imagined perspective of what he calls the “impartial spectator” (110). The impartial spectator develops through feedback from real spectators, but over time it becomes an abstract and unbiased standard that we consult when judging our behavior: Smith describes it as “reason, principle, conscience, the man within” (137). […] We approve of our own behavior when we judge that the impartial spectator would approve of it (Smith 114). Several critics argue that Mr. Knightley shaped Emma’s internalized “impartial spectator” (Smith 110), or her conscience, because his approbation or disapprobation of her behavior becomes her guide for what is morally right (Bohanon and Vachris 119-22; Knox-Shaw 204; Michie 21-22). Emma’s thought, “could Mr. Knightley have been privy to all her attempts of assisting Jane Fairfax, could he even have seen into her heart, he would not . . . have found anything to reprove” (391), shows that she uses him to judge her behavior (Bohanon and Vachris 120; Knox-Shaw 204; Michie 22). That Emma imagines how her behavior would be seen by another person (Mr. Knightley) when making moral choices is consistent with Smith’s “impartial spectator,” and that she consults his ideal shows his importance to her life. (n.p.)

Edward Neill, however, issues a caution. Referring to the type of reading that sees Knightley as the agent of the narrator within the text, he writes:

One need not concede the point that the text unambiguously installs Knightley as ‘Pedagod’ [god + pedagogue] in the sense that Emma’s response to him might appear to make inevitable. But certainly, as he himself admits, he has a great deal of teaching to do. […] His kindness and consideration combine with some acerbity, and his lessons might well make the reader feel the force of the feminist point, not made of Emma, but applicable to her, that ‘she is asked to identify with a selfhood that defines itself in opposition to her; she is required to identify against herself’ (Judith Fetterly, The Resisting Reader). In fact, not only is Knightley ‘god-like’, here, but Emma’s ‘English Ideology’ makes him so. (pp. 100–1)

Neill grants that Emma’s reflection in this section is the passage in which “Mr Knightley is most palpably presented as a ‘Heavenly Father’”; it “deliberately ‘remembers’ the Collect for the Communion Service in the Anglican Communion: ‘O God, to whom all hearts be open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid…’” (p. 101). “[T]o accept Knightley as an ultimate authority in a sense which forecloses on the text/reader’s arbitrement,” however, “is a mistake”: “[t]hat Jane Austen herself is a ‘party’ to this arrangement but is also ‘troubled’ by it is actually reflected in the famous statement about Emma as 'a heroine whom no-one but myself will much like’” (p. 102). Ultimately, “[t]he text does have ‘counter-currents’ which suggest that Knightley is not simply being investigated with the sovereign authority of anti-radical ‘reason’” (p. 104).

Discussion Questions

Why is it important that Jane’s walk on the meadows be indirectly communicated, and not directly observed or ‘staged’? Why are we not told who communicated the information to Emma?

Why does Emma here seem to consider Knightley as a neutral moral observer or arbiter of her actions? What, if anything, does it suggest about the text’s attitude to their relationship?

Bibliography

Austen, Jane. Emma (Norton Critical Edition). 3rd ed. Ed. Stephen M. Parrish. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, [1815] 2000.

Bohanon, Cecil E., and Michelle Albert Vachris. Pride and Profit: The Intersection of Jane Austen and Adam Smith. Lanham, MD: Lexington (2015).

Duckworth, Alistair M. “Emma and the Dangers of Individualism.” In The Improvement of the Estate: A Study of Jane Austen’s Novels. Baltimore, ML: John Hopkins Press, 1971, pp. 145–78.

Fry, Paul H. “Georgic Comedy: The Fictive Territory of Jane Austen’s Emma.” Studies in the Novel 11.2 (Summer 1979), pp. 129–46.

Knox-Shaw, Peter. Jane Austen and the Enlightenment. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press (2004).

Larrow, Michele. “‘Could He Even Have Seen into Her Heart’: Mr. Knightley’s Development of Sympathy.” Persuasions On-Line 37.1 (Winter 2016).

Michie, Elsie B. “Austen’s Powers: Engaging with Adam Smith in Debates about Wealth and Virtue.” Novel 34 (2000), pp. 5–27.

Neill, Edward. The Politics of Jane Austen. New York: Palgrave Macmillan (1999).

Wiltshire, John. “Emma: The Picture of Health.” In Jane Austen and the Body. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press (1992), pp. 110–54. DOI: 10.1017/CBO9780511586248.005.

#Emma #Emma Woodhouse #Jane Fairfax #Mr. Knightley #e

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