#is a shithead. i think. i mean there's gotta be a reason why his fans have a bad reputation. he did bad things. of course he did

[youcouldmakealife]

YCMAL Superlatives Write-ins (Rd 3)

More write-in answers!

Most likely pair to rock a couples Halloween costume:

???? you know who we're all gonna say (scratchnmoney)

Derek and his reluctant co-conspirator Andy

Vinny and Anton and Anton would be SO BEGRUDGING ABOUT IT but he'd do it because he loves Vinny

Robbie & Matty & Wheels & Crane (& lauren) count as a couple right

ScratchMoney. No shame means unlimited room for creativity

Isn’t the answer clearly not a pair, but a throuple? (Evan/Harry/Roman)

Certainly not scratchnmoney, who we refer to as a collective

Bryce would want to but Jared would Not stand for it.

Most likely pair not to bother with costumes at all:

Mike will not comply

Jared and Bryce, but only because Bryce capitulates when faced with a petulant Jared

Stephen looks like he'd think dressing for Halloween is beneath him so

"Hey Mike?" "No."

... are we counting everyone who forgot it was halloween?

Stephen and Gabe, Stephen wouldn't dare wear a costume and Gabe's not fun enough to want to make him

Would be your favourite player IRL:

(huge variety of answers for obvious reasons)

Trigger (I love goalies and I’m not sorry about it)

Julius (I love talented players who don't know how to talk to media, their blunders give me life)

Probably Nikolaj, because I have a soft spot for players who end up with ~nebulous reputation issues

david, the boy too good

David Chapman (reminds me of my beloved Murder Swede)

Vinny (becuase who doesn't love an adorable goalie??)

Bryce Marcus the flow, the talent, the troubled authenticity

Harry Chalmers, that's my son and I love a depth player

Fourns, but please let it be known that I am super sorry I'm not saying Vinny.

Gabe, because he is handsome and sensible and I am always a fan of Jewish players unless they give me a reason not to be

i would be marc lapointe’s #1 defender but anton’s shot blocking makes a compelling point

David. His hockey would be sexy to watch.

much like Jake Lourdes, talented pretty boys with bad attitudes are my kryptonite so... David Chapman

Gabe. Love me a third line beauty with *intangibles*

Julius. Bitch recognizes bitch

Jordan! (competent red wings captain? yes please)

I am very very ashamed to say it would be Shithead, without a doubt

vinny (i have a thing for backup goalies)

Marc. I love a woke boy also good at hockey.

Julius (yes King give us nothing mcdavid vibes)

Fournier - everyone needs a friend like him, he is the best!

David. So fucking skilled, puts up points without needing the flashiness *cough* Seb *cough*

Annnnd:

Jared Matheson (my type is pretty and savage)

Jared (I'm a sucker for pretty white boys)

probably jared. unfortunately

Jared Matheson (im a simple gal with simple pleasures)

Jared (pretty so pretty)

Would be your least favourite player IRL:

..... Jake Lourdes (unless he's on my team)

Bryce would have been annoying but helpful while on my team, and absolutely loathsome once traded to our hated rivals.

I would have said Shithead despite my fondness for him, but then you introduced us to Holden Chase.

Brandon “shithead” simcoe who now plays for the bruins who I have consistently said I would fist fight myself

shithead, for obvs reasons

David Chapman because he plays for the capitals #goflyers

Brandon (yuck flyers)

i would hate every single one of the scouts for no reason

Bryce Marcus' fuckboi persona

i would spit on holden chase’s grave

Mike...why you gotta fight so much, bud?

I believe Benson would give off bad vibes

David with his perfect face and his perfect hockey. So perfect I'd watch him play angry because he is too good.

Most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse:

Luke with a goal in mind would be unstoppably brutal

There is no doubt in my mind that Devon Crane is running an incredibly successful fortified settlement/possible cult. Would like to join.

Marc out of spite

Dave, honestly. He'd have already prepared for every scenario well in advance.

Trigger and he has prepared for it

Chaz “I have no special skills but everyone likes me” Rossi

Benson. Fucker is probably like a cockroach.

I can see Robbie happily shooting everything in sight until he's the only one standing

Liam - He is sneaky and also bites.

Roman Novak (he has grown up practical skills)

Derek has highkey prepared for it

vinny (vinny doesn't need survival skills becuase nobody would let him get hurt. even the zombies wouldn't want to hurt him)

Jared and Bryce could survive if they managed to get to Jared's dad

Mike and Gabe, only ones with life skills. Or Jared, didn't notice it was happening until it was over.

And:

Mike Brouwer (has strength, practical life skills, and ruthless pragmatism)

We're doing this again: paradoxically, Mike

Mike Brouwer (and Liam by association)

MIKE. You know he has like, an emergency fire axe right next to his baking sheets. He is ready

Mike. Not even zombies would fuck with him

Mike, he's the only one, no others will survive

Mike Brouwer: strong, can throw a hit, can fish and cook, good taste in rock music  

Mike Brouwer will fortify his home against all attacks

Least likely to survive a zombie apocalypse:

I know it my heart that it is Bryce

Nick "got stuck in a children's jungle gym" Angelopoulos

Bryce (the boy...does not have practical skills)

Mike, not because he wouldn't be able to, but because it would be a hassle

Bryce Marcus (like a delicate hothouse flower)

Willy (he’s the beautiful one who goes first as a surprise)

Joey - poor guy was not meant to be written into any sort of dystopia

Bryce, I’m sorry baby: too soft to kill a zombie, can’t cook, severely lacking in the practical life skills department, needs all his fancy hair and skincare products

All of them except Evan because he's not allowed to

ScratchNMoney. A fountain almost got the best of them, as did a playground slide.

nikita (nobody would help him and I feel like he has no survival skills. also, it's what he deserves)

Vinny. Doomed.

I’m not saying it’s Seb, but I am wondering if he’d know how to deal if money is meaningless

scratchnmoney are barely surviving as is

I am so sorry, but Joey. He's not final girl material

Jared would willingly die

Everybody not Mike

Thomas is probably too nice to do what is needed

And...

Liam, unless paired with Mike

Liam without Mike

Liam (thank god he has Mike)

Liam would only survive If mike kept him alive.

Liam if Mike wasn’t keeping him from taunting said zombies

Most likely to call their mom if they have so much as a runny nose:

Oh Scratch definitely be wanting his mommy

Liam. Except he'd probably call Mike.

Robbie. Canonically.

Nick “my mom scares me but also I’m very sick and need my mom” Angelopoulos

Jake has big sad sick momma's boy energy

Gabe - For all his maturity, he loves his mom, and she is great.

Totally Scratch. And Irene would baby the fuck out of him.

Bryce, canonically. Vinnie, but Fourns instead of his mom

But consensus:

Bryce, but only because he was calling her anyway.

Bryce Marcus (and who can blame him? Elaine is great)

Bryce. Like he needs an excuse to call her.

Bryce of course but he was already on the phone with her when his nose started running

Bryce. There is literally no other answer but Bryce. And Elaine would instigate.

Least likely to admit they're sick even if they're running a temperature of 101 (38.3c):

Jared out of pure stubbornness because Bryce told him to wear a scarf

David, possibly beaten for the position in his later, less prickly years by Oleg and his Internalized Responsibilities.

Bryce if he has to play that day

You’d think it’d be David, but he’s very responsible about his health. It’s actually Harry, bc stubbornness.

Jared (he's just contrary like that)

Tate “no sick days, only hockey” Williams

Bryce again, no way he's not getting out on the ice for 104 fever (but he makes Jared stay home and rest for a hangnail!)

Maybe Francis is the worst at accepting that he, a doctor, needs a doctor

David, but he’s not lying, he hasn’t noticed yet

Anton. Russian machine never breaks.

Playoff Willy isn’t sick, the thermometer is just broken

Oleg, dude is too busy to be sick

Best choice for your pub trivia team:

Sven Olsen. Brilliant and terrifying.

Mike, if you could somehow convince him to actually go

Owen, who knows more than all of the hockey boys

The Caps—Quincy and Oleg alone would clean house

SCRATCH MY NERDY SON

sarah riley my queen

Stephen, snottily knowing the answers to everything

Raf, he'd know all the answers but he'd be kind if you got one wrong

Marc - He would get all the snooty questions.

I feel like Jared is too obsessed with being right to not know a bunch of random facts.

Feel like a team of Gabe, Stephen and Jared would clean up, can I have three? They're literally a family!

Jake obviously knows pop music and sports which are my weakness

Stephen he wouldn't want to go but he would crush it

Gabriel (for answers Stephen is just as good but for team morale, Gabriel)

Marc (not only bringing knowledge to the table but also the Need To Win!!)

mike (a good mix of practical and book smarts)

Stephen or maybe Kiro?? but more realistically Emily

Marc for politics and current events, mike for literature and history, willy for determination and stare downs

Worst choice for your pub trivia team:

Shithead. Provides no useful answers, gets kicked off your team, still somehow offends the staff enough to get your entire team banned.

Harry, we can't argue over EVERY answer.

David Chapman (too much of a perfectionist, will keep second-guessing everything)

David (unless it's hockey). Everything else is inconsequential

Sven (doesn't know the right answer, but will say something ridiculous with such confidence you will believe him

The Scouts—big hearts, too much chaos

jake. not a single thought in his head

Liam. He knows the answers and intentionally gives the wrong ones. Or Julius. He might know the answers, but he won't tell you until you give the wrong ones.

Scouts- they seem to consistently function at the level of the lowest common denominator..hijinks ensue as Scratch and Joey devolve into a side argument

Fucking Benson.

Bryce, love him, but sweetie has a very limited range of knowledge (2 topics) and there won't be many hockey Q's and NONE about Jared, so he's out

Bryce, bless his pretty little face.

Jared- you KNOW he would mutter the correct answers under his breath and then get mad at a teammate for not hearing and putting down the wrong answers, total mood killer :/ also Shithead, because Shithead

Anton (can you *imagine* the level of "i am not participating" he would radiate)

Kiro. No answers only trolling

Bryce bless his heart he is an expert in hockey and Jared, and clueless about everything else

ScratchAndMoney have not a single braincell between them

Joey. He's not good on the spot

Jared isn't the only person who will never let Bryce live this down, and that’s fair:

Bryce "truffles are chocolate" Marcus

Bryce “theres chocolate in my eggs” Marcus

Bryce. That boy has never thought about anything except hockey in his life (point: truffles!!)

bryce “chocolate? in my eggs??” marcus

The duality of man:

Marc - he has to explain every answer to you. And why it is oppressive. And what you should do to make it right. And would you like a phamplet?

Marc would lead his team to victory but at what cost

Marc, but not because you'd lose

#YCMAL superlatives

[platypanthewriter]

Lazerbeamy Strongman

Day One of Harringrove AUgust, prompt: Superhero AU

Steve Harrington, newly hired reporter and resident Wholesome Nice Guy, kept sidling over to Billy’s desk to read his interview questions. It was hard enough coming up with questions for a superhero who could fly, hold up falling skyscrapers, and shoot lasers from his eyes. The memory of the pulse of blue light blowing out the engine block of the armed robber’s getaway car made Billy shudder.

‘Are the lasers under complete control,’ he typed. ‘Could you be startled into vaporizing the city?’

Directly behind his chair, Harrington snorted a laugh.

“Shut up, Hawkins Indiana,” Billy told him.

Harrington didn’t move.

“Cut this shit out, or I’m squirting you with a bottle,” Billy told him, through a bite of ham’n’rye sandwich. “You keep climbing all up in my business, you’re gonna get Lysol between the eyes.”

“Sorry,” Harrington said, looking abashed, but his eyes still strayed to Billy’s screen, and Billy grabbed the Lysol, spraying a whole cloud as Steve dove back to his own desk. He ducked his head as the editor of the Planet walked by.

A few hours later, Billy caught him staring at the list of questions again, from way too far away, really—it wasn’t like Harrington could actually read Billy’s screen from the coffee machine, but he looked suspiciously intent, so Billy stalked over.

“Can you see my questions from there?! Are those huge nerd frames telescopic, or—just—what the fuck, dude,” he muttered, squinting over at his desk. He could make out that Microsoft Word was open, maybe. Maybe. “How the hell,” Billy growled, turning his glower on Harrington, who stared innocently out the window, sipping his coffee.

“How could I possibly,” Harrington said, not meeting Billy’s eyes as he drank the last of his mug of coffee, and Billy took the last of the coffee in the pot just to spite him, and stalked off.

Ten minutes later, he scooted his chair back and hit Harrington’s jeans with his elbow, and Harrington stumbled back, like he hadn’t been reading over Billy’s shoulder. “Are you a fucking cat?!” Billy hissed. “I’m gonna get one of those invisible fences and shock you every time you try to sneak my interview questions—”

“You’re better at interviews than me,” Steve told him, shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck in the annoyingly ‘aw, shucks’ way Billy was fairly sure couldn’t be sincere. “Just interested.”

“I don’t think you’re gonna have the opportunity to use these questions again,” Billy said drily. “Unless you’re gonna ask the next CEO you write up which planet he’s from, and how his clothes don’t burn off when he pulls people out of burning buildings.”

Harrington shrugged, grinning. “Um, I was actually gonna ask, what are you doing tonight? After wor—”

“Staking out the roof of the police department,” Billy told him, walking away to his desk—backwards, so he could yell. “He keeps leaving criminals up there. With notes! Thirty-percent higher chance on Friday nights!”

When the spandex-clad hero landed, cape aflutter, Billy leapt out. “To whom am I speaking?” he asked, in a breathless but calm professional voice.

“Just a moment, citizen,” said the hero, running his fingers through his hair and winking at Billy, and it was the first time he’d seemed like a real person, albeit a pickup artist, and not a comic book cliche.

He bent to handcuff three unconscious bruisers to the roof, prodding a muscled, fishnet-stockinged leg back towards the woman it belonged to. “Ah,” he said, when he stood back up, his hands on his hips like he’d practiced his dumb hero pose in the mirror. “I must go! Crime never waits!”

“What the hell,” Billy shouted after him, waving his notepad.

The next morning, Harrington looked smug. “How’d it go?” he asked, like he knew, and Billy sat on the asshole’s desk and drank, in turn, from both mugs of coffee. “Hey, isn’t that one mine?!” Harrington asked, and Billy stuck his tongue in it, swishing it around.

“Not anymore,” he said sweetly, and Harrington stared at him. “And it went great, obviously. He totally listened to his public and didn’t just fly off after acting like a shithead.”

“Wait, what’d he do?!” Harrington yelped, staring. “I—I read he, uh, he brought in the leaders of three different gangs!”

“Yeah, like a shithead,” Billy repeated, draining Harrington’s favorite mug, licking it, and handing it to him, empty. “And I froze my nuts off for four hours waiting for him to come back. That’s how it went. Shithead.”

“Oh,” Harrington said, frowning into his empty mug, as Billy wandered back to his desk with his own, ignoring Harrington’s mumbled “I mean, maybe—maybe he’s got to keep, like, his identity secret—”

“I didn’t ask for his goddamn alter ego, I was asking general shit,” Billy shot back, growling, and waving the hand without coffee in it. “Or I was going to!”

The next time Billy saw the shithead, he ran straight at him, dodging the falling debris, until abruptly he was flying.

“What are you doing,” the shithead hissed, his arms warm and strong as they carried Billy to the top of another damn building. “We’re under fire.”

“That’s your job,” Billy hissed at him. “My job is this damn interview. What kinds of disasters are you most likely to help with? Does Search and Rescue have your number?”

“Stay here,” the shithead commanded, and flew off, leaving Billy stranded on the top of a skyscraper. He spent the next hour trying to pinpoint the name of the building on Google Maps, before finally finding a number to call to let him in.

“I heard you ran right into the wreckage,” said Harrington, like he was worried, and Billy scoffed.

“I’ve worked warzones,” he said. “I can handle a car accident.”

“The viaduct collapsed,” Harrington said weakly, like a coward. “You were almost crushed by a flaming bus.”

“I also didn’t get even one question answered,” Billy muttered, glaring at the list on his screen, and Harrington stared from him to it. “I’m gonna have to grappling hook that shithead.”

“Um,” Harrington said, wincing. “He seems kind of...busy, usually, when he’s—”

“So am I,” Billy told him, reaching up and prodding his coworker’s shoulder. “I have won Pulitzers, I have better shit to do than spend my nights shouting questions at some shithead who can’t be assed to tell anyone his name, let alone answer some basic peace-of-mind questions like—” he made air quotes, “—‘to what degree do you feel obligated to help humanity?’”

“He’s kind of new,” Harrington said, wincing. “Maybe he doesn’t have, a um, a super...name, yet? Maybe he doesn’t want to say, like, ‘hello, good citizen, I am Lazerbeamy Strongman’—”

“Oh jesus,” Billy snorted, choking on his coffee.

“Hello, I’m Captain Awesomesauce,” Harrington groaned, his cheeks red for some reason. “I’m Rad-Dude.”

“Oh fuck me,” Billy coughed out, cackling. “So you’re saying he’s a moron.”

“I did not,” Harrington huffed, and Billy grinned at him.

“Are you a fan, Harrington? I saw you run right over to look at the latest pictures of him. That why you’re trying to edge in on my interview?”

“No!” Harrington groaned, rolling his eyes. “I just think you put all this...thought into this, and maybe he’s just helping out, you know, like anybody. Like if somebody calls the police on a purse snatcher, you don’t ask them why, or like, how much help they’re gonna be in future—”

“He wears a cape,” Billy pointed out. “He put a goddamn cape on, and he’s wearing some kind of themed onesie, and he says stuff like ‘Hello, innocent bystander,’ and that’s all weird as hell, so he better answer some questions. This isn’t somebody who was just there—he came on purpose, and he doesn’t want people to know who he is, or he’d talk to me—”

“Heroes wear capes!” Harrington argued, rolling his eyes again. “Maybe it’s a little creepy when you ambush people. On the roof of the police station.”

“We gotta call him something,” Billy told him, rolling his eyes. “He can answer my questions, or he can have every investigator in three cities trying to figure out his angle. He’ll be a police file five inches thick by this weekend.”

“Oh no,” Harrington said, wide-eyed, and Billy snorted.

“The hell d’you care?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You think he’s a moron who calls himself Lazerbeamy Strongman.”

“No,” Harrington said quickly, grimacing. “No, I just, uh. It’d...it’d suck if he’s just...trying to help.”

“If he’s just trying to help, he can give me something reassuring to publish, even if it’s just that he’s calling himself ‘Mr. Neato McCheeto’. People need to hear that he’s not going to use those laser eyes to shoot planes out of the sky.”

“Fuck you, he’s helping,” Harrington said sullenly, covering a snicker.

When Billy left for lunch, he bought the guy one of the badly painted caped bobbleheads already circulating the city, and left it on his desk.

“Oh no,” he heard Harrington say in horrified tones when he found it.

The third time Billy caught the new superhero, he was flying everyone to the tops of buildings. “Oh, fuck you,” Billy groaned, his body held in strong arms while his hands investigated the texture of the cape.

“She turned the ground into actual lava,” the shithead hissed at him. “I’ll get you down when you can walk without turning into a pillar of flame.”

“You better be back within the hour, or I will step off the edge,” Billy threatened, and the shithead groaned. “What’s your cape made of?” Billy yelled after him.

“I’ll come get you,” the shithead yelled back, and Billy sat down to wait, and write some preliminary scene setting. Metropolis’ newest hero shuffles a street of pedestrians onto the roofs of buildings in under a minute, before emptying the cars. Below him, Shithead was dodging around, trying to talk to the small child waving a wand and spraying lava.

Shithead did reappear, though, within the hour. He wasn’t even panting or sweating, and Billy eyed him with extreme dislike. He took the other people down, and Billy yelled threats after him, fully expecting to get stranded again, but Shithead flew back up and floated in front of him, his arms folded like Billy was supposed to be impressed.

“I’ll answer your questions,” he muttered, glowering.

“What’s your name,” Billy asked, wasting no time, because the wind on the skyscraper was sliding through his coat like he was naked. He shivered, turtling deeper into his scarf, and Shithead reached out, his hand twitching towards Billy.

“We—I can take you somewhere else? Somewhere warmer,” he offered awkwardly.

“Somewhere there’s coffee,” Billy growled, and the shithead laughed, grinning at him, and then stepped close to lift Billy again, but didn’t do it.

He just stood so close Billy could feel him breathing, holding his arms up like a scarecrow, and Billy groaned and turned to put his arms around the neck of a goddamn superhero and got scooped up like he was a damsel in distress. He sighed, disgusted, as Shithead took them back to the Daily Planet, dropped down past the roof, and landed them on the glassed-in balcony where Billy went when it was a choice between 1) smoke or 2) commit homicide.

Billy stared. “Have you been watching me,” he hissed, and the damn hero raised his hands.

“There’s coffee here,” he said, grimacing, and Billy stalked past him, by Harrington’s desk—the slacker was missing, and Billy snorted dismissively, and then remembered not everyone had had a ride back through the freezing wind. He shivered so hard as he poured the coffee he nearly spilled it, and whispered a brief prayer to Saint Drogo, patron saint of coffee and the insane, for his intervention in saving Billy’s water of life. The first sip told him it had been sitting on the burner, and his tongue curled in his mouth, his nose wrinkling, but he could feel it warming his veins and brain.

Shithead was still waiting on the balcony, frowning out over the city, and Billy watched him, taking another sip of the acrid coffee.

“Why d’you float like that,” he asked, and the weirdo blinked at him.

“Oh, um,” he said, frowning down, and reddening. “Uh, is this...on the record?”

“...not if you say it isn’t,” Billy said, leaning back into a creaky plastic chair, and putting his feet up on another.

“This outfit is sturdy enough to not burn up, but the feet get dirty if I walk,” Shithead said, grimacing.

“Your footie pajamas get dirty if you walk outside,” Billy said flatly, sighing. “This is an amazing start. On the record now—what’s your name, hero?”

“Oh! Ummm,” he said, wincing.

“Christ,” Billy groaned, pinching his brows together.

“"I'm...very...strong...ness..." the moron trailed off, and Billy stared at him.

“Try again,” he said.

“My sidekick—”

“You have a sidekick,” Billy interrupted, holding his pen up. “Nobody’s seen a sidekick.”

“He tells me when things happen, so I can help. He doesn’t go out there,” Shithead said, looking horrified, and for once sounding reasonable.

“Ah. Carry on,” Billy said, writing sidekick?? in the margin to address later.

“He thinks I should go by Encyc—oh, no,” he slapped a fist into his hand in realization, “It was Atlas,” the unnamed hero said, and Billy narrowed his eyes.

“Fair enough,” he said, about to ask why that didn’t out-rate ‘Very Strongness’, but the shithead crossed his arms with a huff.

“It makes no sense, I’m not a book,” he said, and Billy stared at him.

“You’re exactly the moron he thought you were,” he said disbelievingly. “You’re an idiot.”

“Hey! I—I just—I saved you from lava,” Shithead protested. “I saved you from a falling bus!”

“We gotta workshop this,” Billy said, groaning into his hands. “I’ll help you, because you did do all those things. And more to the point, I can’t make every news agent in the city say something that stupid every time you’re in the news.”

“What about Superguy,” the hero asked, leaning in enthusiastically. “Great...dude? Mister Awesome!”

“Fuck my life,” Billy sighed, laughing in despair. “What about something based on your powers—”

“Muscle-lasers! Musclasers?” the idiot suggested excitedly, and Billy smacked himself in the face again.

“What about just like...Knight Errant. You’ve got that kind of...shield shape on your chest—”

“Oooo,” Shithead said, floating closer, and Billy put a foot up and nudged him further away. “Because just Knight could get confusing, huh, like on the radio,” he said, and Billy wondered whether he did have a brain, and it just shorted out, like, most of the time. Maybe it was the lasers.

“D’you want to see the sunset,” Knight Errant asked, and Billy blinked at him. “You’re off work, right? I promise I won’t run, I’ll answer your questions,” he said, grimacing. “But...do you? The sunset over the city?”

As a career reporter in Metropolis, Billy could hardly refuse, and he tried to remind his libido of that while he lay cradled in strong arms, warm against Knight Errant’s chest, watching the sun set and the lights come on all over his city.

He was close enough to hear the hero’s stomach growl, and they got sandwiches from a street cart to chomp on during the interview. After that, Knight Errant flew them to a small loft apartment on the edge of the industrial district, and Billy wandered around trying the faucets, fascinated by how normal it all was.

“My apartment’s off the record, right?” Knight Errant asked, with belated nervousness.

“Yeah, sure,” Billy laughed. “I protect my sources. So. You...get hungry?” Billy asked, watching him put away enough food for four people.

“I’m just a person,” Knight Errant muttered, wiping mustard off his chin. He’d taken his cape off, and pushed the onesie down to his waist. In the dim light of the city, he looked familiar, though Billy couldn’t place him—and attractive, the shadows on his abs and arms making him look like he’d been painted in chiaroscuro.

It felt like a date, was the thing.

“Search and rescue does have my number, or a way to get ahold of me, anyway.” Knight Errant sighed. “There’s nowhere in the outfit for a phone. I mean, it’d melt, anyway, first time I flew into a burning building,” he pointed out, and Billy nodded slowly, talking to a hero about his revealing costume, and wondering whether he’d been sucked into the Twilight Zone.

“There sure isn’t anywhere to hide anything,” he agreed, remembering.

“Sometimes I don’t help them,” Knight Errant confessed. “—but I can’t—I help where I can. I have to sleep too.”

“You sleep?” Billy asked, cocking his head at the shadowy king-sized bed in the corner. He wondered whether the moron had different-patterned footie pajamas to sleep in, possibly with sheep on them. And a woolly sheep cape.

“I sleep. I have a job,” the man sighed.

“Thanks for saving me from the lava,” Billy said, belatedly. “And I...probably would’ve been crushed by that bus.”

“Anytime,” the hero of Billy’s city said, stepping close with a grin. “You have to be more careful. I’d hate to lose my favorite reporter.”

“You talk to all the others already?” Billy asked, laughing, his heart pounding as he stepped closer.

“Nah. I know it’ll always be you,” the moron said, grinning with an incomprehensible mixture of mischief and sweetness, and Billy kissed him.

The next morning, Billy hitched a ride to work in the arms of his superhero. He took the time to straighten his jacket and tie after the wind, and found Harrington at his desk, holding a mug of coffee, his eyes huge and weird in the absurdly thick glasses.

“Had a good night?” he asked, smugly, and Billy shot him a suspicious glare, and flipped him off.

Here’s the rest of my Harringrove (and everything else)

#Harringrove #Harringrove AUgust #Superhero AU #SPread the word y'all #There's a Harringrove August collection on Ao3 #Put your rad stuff in it!

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

Into the Void

*This is my Dark/Anti horror story. There is no shipping of them or any Septiplier. There is such themes as blood, gore, torture, abuse and other things. If that’s not your thing then please move along. If it is your thing then I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment on what you thing of it. I love comments.*

Word count: 2,480

"Mark Fischbach! You get your ass down here right now!" I yell at the top of my lungs, slamming the front door open at the same time. Mark was supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago, but he never showed up. I'm sure he probably got caught up in recording a video for his channel. I had texted and called him multiple times, but I never got a reply back. At times, being a Youtuber's friend can be frustrating. With a sigh, I turned to go back outside and start the arduous task of bringing my bags in. Before I can put even a foot out the door, I hear a loud thunk from upstairs and then barking.

A door slowly opens, and the barking gets significantly louder. I chuckle as a fluffy golden retriever runs down the stairs, straight at me, tail wagging a mile a minute.

"CHICA! How is the beautiful fluffy puppers?" I coo as I kneel down, so I can give her all the love she deserves. This is my first time ever meeting her, but Mark was always sending me pics and videos of her. So I'm pretty excited to get to love on her.

"Sorry, Bri. I..um..lost track of time." Mark's guilty voice comes from the stairs.

I look up and glare at him as he walks over to me. He scratches the back of his head as he gives me a sheepish grin. "You're lucky that Chica is sooo adorable. Otherwise, you would be in so much trouble! All you had to do was say you got held up. I would have understood, you ass!" I huff at him and go to grab my bags.

"So, are you saying I'm not adorable?" he gives me a fake pout as he throws his arm around my shoulder." Not when you leave me hanging at the airport with not even a call." I laugh as I hip bump him, causing him to stumble. I never could stay mad at him for long. His antics made me laugh too much for that.

"Well, since I'm off to such a bad start as a host. I'll get your bags." He grabs my two suitcases while I grab the smaller duffel bag.

Mark and I have been best friends since we were kids. We were neighbors when he lived in Ohio and became inseparable. We stayed super close until he moved to LA, and I stayed in Ohio. We texted and video chatted all the time, but it was never the same as being in person. When my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, I was absolutely devastated.

We were a month away from getting married. I had come home from a work meeting and realized all his stuff was gone. No note. Nothing. I locked myself in my apartment for over a week, just lay in bed. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I cut contact with everyone. I was numb to everything, and I did nothing to stop myself from spiraling faster and faster down into the abyss of nothingness.

I guess Mark and his girlfriend, Amy, got worried because the next thing I know, Mark is banging on my door early one morning, hollering at me to open my damn door. I'm not sure who was more shocked. Me, at their sudden appearance or them, at my disastrous looks.

Two hours later, and I've had my first shower and meal in who knows how long. They sat with me and let me cry on their shoulder for as long as I needed. Well, Amy did. Mark just sat on the couch, looking super uncomfortable and trying super hard to cheer me up. After awhile, Mark's joking nature started to cheer me up, and Amy joined in, talking about all the antics their friends had gotten up to. It was almost midnight when I finally had them convinced that I was feeling tons better. Before they left, Amy had managed to get a promise out of me that I would come to LA and stay for an undefined amount of time.

I was hoping I could get away with only a few days, but Amy wouldn't hear anything of it and told me to pack for at least two weeks. Guess I really worried them if they wanted to keep me for that long. That was the reason why one short month later, I was hauling my things into their house.

I follow Mark upstairs to the guest bedroom and throw my bag on the bed. Next thing I know, Mark has me in a giant hug. I tense at first but quickly relax into it. "I'm so glad you came, Bri. I've been worried about you. I was afraid you might bail on me last minute." His voice is thick with emotions as he puts his chin on my head.

I shrug as I fight not to cry. "I thought about it a million times, but in the, end I knew it would do me some good. Plus, I just plain missed you. Your videos just don't do the real you justice." I pull myself out of the hug and look around as I realize someone is missing. "Where is Amy at? I thought she was gonna be here."

"Oh, she went on a girl's trip with Sean's girlfriend. They wanted some time to bond over girl things. They didn't say how long they would be gone, but I'm sure they'll be back before you leave." He gives me a mischievous grin. "That means you’re stuck with me for who knows how long."

I start laughing like a maniac as I think of all the pranks I can pull on Mark without retribution from both of them. "OH no. That means you'll be stuck with ME. Now, what's a girl gotta do to get some food around this joint?" I rub my hands together and lick my lips as I think about eating real food.

He grumbles jokingly about not signing up to be my personal chef as he makes his way to the kitchen. I'm just about to follow when I notice a weird, flickering shadow flit across the doorframe. I look around the room to see what might have caused it but don't see anything.

I must be really tired, I think as I shake my head and continue on my way to the kitchen.

"Here's the thing. I've been so busy trying to get videos done, so I can spend time with you, that I forgot to make a trip to the store. I've got stuff to make sandwiches, or we can order out?" He is definitely not guilty as he tells me this. I'm pretty sure he is using me as an excuse to get fast food by the smile on his face.

"Damn, Mark. You act like I showed up out of the blue instead of planning this visit for a month. Sandwiches will be just fine with me." I laugh as I push past him towards the fridge. Mark is helping me get all the stuff together when there is a knock at the door. Chica instantly starts barking and makes a beeline for the door. Mark looks at me very quickly with a super not guilty look. The look on his face has me instantly on guard.

"Bri, please don't be mad, but I might have told Sean that you are gonna be staying with me and that you are a huge fan of his. I talk about you all the time to him, and he wanted to meet you. His girlfriend is on that trip with Amy so he is also gonna be staying here for a bit." That shithead was dead. His fans are going to be so pissed cause I am about to murder this man.

I don't know how my body did it, but it felt like all the blood in my face went straight to my cheeks. I'm a very shy person when it comes to anyone that might even be remotely famous. My anxiety goes into overdrive, especially since I might have a small celebrity crush on the Youtuber known as Jacksepticeye.

"YOU FUCKING DID WHAT?!" I'm sure if my voice was an octave higher, I could have shattered glass. Mark is laughing his ass off at my reaction and starts walking towards the door. "DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR!" I shriek in absolute panic.

That asshat is laughing so hard at this point that he has to lean against the wall to steady himself. Sean is apparently tired of waiting for Mark and decides to let himself in. "OI! Ya gobshyte going ta let me stand outside all day?" Sean makes eye contact with me as he says this before an unopened loaf of bread hits him directly in the face.

In my panic, my fight instincts kicked in, and I threw the 1st thing my hands came across. Luckily for Sean, it just happened to be bread. Then my flight instincts kick in. I give a horrified shriek, and I hightail it into my room with Mark's laughter following me the entire way. I close the door shut and rip the blanket off the bed. I then proceed to go to the closet, open the door, wrap the blanket around me and hide in the closet with the door shut.

I will become one with the Darkness if it's the last thing I do.

I'm only in the closet for about 10 minutes before Mark finds me. I'm no longer freaking out, but now the embarrassment is kicking into overdrive. "I live in this closet now. I can never leave. It is my home." I groan into the blanket.

"That was the funniest shit I've ever seen. My only regret is that I wasn't recording it." He chuckles as he pulls the blanket off my head. "You planning on hiding in here forever? I mean, it wasn't as bad as the time you met Daniel Cudmore." I groan even harder before I look up at him. " The difference between then and now is that Daniel didn't get A FACE FULL OF BREAD! This is the most embarrassing thing ever. I can never face him now. I hate you so much right now. This entire thing is your fault." I can only facepalm as my cheeks start heating up again. Mark chuckles as he shakes his head.

He briefly glances at the doorway and then back at me. He flops onto the floor just outside the closet door. "Sean thought it was funny...Well, once he got over the shock, that is. Come onnnnn. He came all this way from England just to meet one of my best friends. He can't do that if you hide away in here. He's just a regular dude that also happens to be a Youtuber. You'll never get over that weird celebrity shyness you have if you don't talk to him." he starts trying to yank the blanket off me.

"Ugh. Why do you have to bring logic into this? I can't help it if my stupid brain has to spazz out. Give me a few minutes to gather my courage. If I'm not downstairs in 15 minutes, then you can come get me like the barbarian you are." I laugh and try to yank the blanket back.

"You are such a chicken shit, I swear." He smiles and stands up. Before I can do anything else, he yanks the blanket super hard. It jerks me partially out of the closet, and I fall out, laying on my side. There is a familiar laugh close to the bedroom door that is neither mine nor Mark's. I immediately tense up and look at the doorway. Those blue eyes are the first thing I see. I overlook many other details except that cute Irish boi smile. Then I realize that Sean is standing in the doorway. Looking at me. I dive back into the closet while simultaneously yanking the blanket back in with me. I slam the closet door shut, and not even a second later, Sean and Mark are laughing hysterically.

Yuck it up, you assholes. I don't respond as I am now busy trying to make the floor more comfortable with the blanket. "You have to come out eventually, Bri. You can't stay in there all day." His voice gets farther away as he talks.

" I just need some time! Go play some video games or whatever shit you guys do together! I yell back at him.

There was no way in hell I was ever leaving this closet while Sean was here. I guess it's a good thing my phone is fully charged cause I'm going to need something to do in here. I get on YouTube and start watching my Darkiplier/Antisepticeye playlist.

I love Mark like a brother and would never be able to think of him any other way, but when he made that first video going full Darkiplier….I wasn't able to FaceTime him for two weeks because I would instantly think of Dark and start blushing. The first time I saw Anti's full appearance I completely fangirled. I must have watched the video on repeat a million times. What can I say? I love my bad boys.

I'm not sure how long I stay in the closet watching the videos but I feel myself start to get tired. I'm fighting sleep and losing badly. I'm just about to conk out when I feel a hand gently caress my cheek.

"You'll do just fine." a voice whispers to me as I fall unconscious.

#Darkiplier #antisepticeye #markiplier #jacksepticeye #horror #ao3 fanfic #DarkestAnti

[whatisgoingonpaul]

So I’ve now also put myself though Lost boys: the Thirst.

Not Bikers, not surfers but Ravers.... who want world domination... ok.

So right off the bat it was already better then the tribe with a ok music choice and a good intro which flashed images from the actual 2 comics being the Rein of the frogs and the Lost girls based one. The movie once again skipped location to somewhere we don’t really care, posters of people who aren’t really important. However this film automatically does better then the tribe by actually showing “freaks” instead of some slightly overweight tourist and the resident emo. As this town is flocked to by those early 2000s emo and Goth kids and it’s terrifying, Edgar I get you man. Lmao.

So Alan? He’s back! But was apparently turned back in Washington explaining his absence in the second film and basically does what grandpa does in rein of the frog. He taxidermy’s because their animals he eats, he gets all pissy and dramatic and I started crying because “it’s a pyramid skeem there’s always someone higher up.” And I’m. You heard it here folks being a vampire is a pyramid skeam. He gets dramatic only to write a note like “here Ya go ps call mom :)” lmao.

So basically they help a suto twilight author find her brother with the help of.... “I’m not like other girls. I’m quirky!” And a reality show douche and his camera man. Fun. Except Peter , the brother is like Aparently the like og head vamp so twist! Why? Because we need the “kill your brother , you’ll feel better.” Line given to Edgar because we need to place them against each other for drama. Yet it’s ok.... you know this, their the meanest, the badest. Also Alan when turned back basically refuses to leave the beach because sunlight and I think that’s great. Good for him.

So vampires again are inconsistent. Blue eyes and fangs (mainly Alan) or black eyes and face, black eyes and fangs, yellow eyes and fangs. Choose one. They are all also dressed straight out of mad max in their emo skin showing ass battle armor spiked bs basically looking like the vampires in the comics. Also a lot of titties out and lesbians because.... because.... uhhhhh that’s hot I guess??? Also the lost boys comics cannonically show up in the fucking movie? Edgar smacks into a shelf in the store and sits up in a pile of them.

However unlike the first one this film has some bit of heart towards the original, by this I mean they at least mention it. And don’t do “sex sex sex party party” every five minutes. So Sam is dead (vamp did what he gotta do-)and Micheal and Star basically won’t answer calls. It also shows one of the images from the og movie of the 3 boys that Edgar owns and my heart??? He also had BATMAN #14! He put it at Sams grave and I’m not physically ok? I’m not I’m not I’m not. He also flashbacks to the og movie ALOT , grief or “hey remember how good it was” likely both. Also part of it was taped??? It was implied to come out of the tv??? Idk.

So I think I discovered the main problem. The vampires , not just the changing appearance and inconsistency “garlic don’t work boys” except it does in the sequels. Then there’s also that we don’t really get to know them... granted we didn’t get a lot of time with the og boys or at least lines but they were around more often then not they were... important in the plot!! Even with the shorter time we could fully grasp a personally besides Into blood and horny (that is also true for them but not the point...) it’s so impersonally they don’t really have a role anymore but that they are here to put up a fight and be killed. They just aren’t people... black eyes means hollow husk of a person Aparently. Part of the original is that... hey sure we are pretty sure these guys are but it could be anyone, we don’t hit you over the head repeatedly that it is them in the first 20 minutes. We hint but don’t show, that’s a treat for later. That they’re just people- like genuinely people that aren’t to die and nothing else , like charecters :0. Also not to mention what bothers me wildly is the whole famous people vampires. Surfers throwing ragers where like a bunch of people go missing/drop dead. Is no one going to send investigators? Cops? People dropping dead at raves and going missing ? No one? No one at all ? Ok. Also not to mention “no vampire goes out the same” is now a lie as no matter what you do all of them would explode with no real reason to. Even with holy water. No melting or anything like that... I’m not wasting for practical effects- maybe I am- but at least try ya know? Also why he whole pure evil I’m going to give a ‘drug’ that takes over the world or I’m just going to collect more shitheads for myself. Again what I like about the og is they just do their own thing.

I will take this to my grave but these two sequels are basically action movie fan fiction made by the frog brothers just like rein of the frogs is(it’s literally agknowlaged as their own thing lmao.) it’s really 1988 and everyone is fine and well... especially Sam. Smh don’t do that to me. (Yes I know about the actor and I’m emotionally weak.)

#the lost boys #lost boys #the lost boys : the thirst #Edgar frog #alan frog #the frog brothers #Sam Emerson

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 8

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapter...none, really...Team CQL pretty much goes completely rogue for this ep]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

I really thought that Wei Ying should have named his binding technique “无聊” (“wu liao”, aka “lame”, “silly”, “boring”) in honor of Lan Zhan, since that’s his favorite response to Wei Ying. It’s a shame he didn’t end up doing that, felt like a total missed opportunity, especially since he never did decide on the actual name.  The two names he came up with, “sharing clothes” and “no clothes” (according to Viki's translation), felt little more than just Easter eggs for novel readers since we know eventually the two of them do partake in both states of dress and undress. In the context of the actual technique, they really don’t make much sense. However, interestingly enough, in the WeTV subs, the two name choices were actually translated as “binding” and “bonding”, which definitely seems more applicable. Based on my limited knowledge of Chinese words, the Viki translation seems to be a more literal translation of the words used, so I’m not sure how the WeTV team came up with binding and bonding instead, unless those are the figurative meanings of those Chinese characters.  I would love it if a fellow fan who is much more Chinese literate could school me on which is more accurate translation, but seriously, how much cuter would it have been if Wei Ying had just gone with 无聊?

Team CQL deciding to throw in more yin metals to the story was really a stroke of genius considering how much mileage they got out of that little invention: they got to introduce Xue Yang and eventually the Yi City boys earlier, provide a more extensive backstory for Lan Yi which of course also impacted other plot elements downstream, utilize Wen Ruohan more as a villainous character (which I personally consider a minus), stretch out the running time for more episodes, and most importantly, create more bonding opportunities for Wei Ying and Lan Zhan. First time I watched this episode I straight out cheered when Wei Ying skipped out on his Yunmeng fam to go after Lan Zhan; I thought that was so adorable. I was so looking forward to their adventures together. Too bad their alone time only lasted a few minutes...literally less than 4 minutes; I actually kept track this time around. Originally I thought that Nie Huaisang was brought in to be a third-wheeler because it would have been too suggestive for Lan Zhan and Wei Ying to spend time together off on their own, but after finishing the show and seeing all the other times they've spent together all alone, I soon realized I was totally overthinking things and it really was for the story's sake. One point I was never clear on was how did NHS clue into the fact that Jin Guangyao was behind his brother's death, since qi deviation actually seemed a reasonable explanation for his demise. Guy was bleeding through all his face holes, but he also had the ghost puppet lines on his neck. Because of NHS' experience here with Lan Zhan and Wei Ying when they faced off against the Wei villagers he was able to see firsthand how people affected by the Yin metal looks so I wonder if that's how he made the connection with what happened with his brother since Nie Mingjue also had those veiny markings on his neck. This had to be the only opportunity he had to see ghost puppets up close since he didn't really participate in the battle part of the Sunshot Campaign.

I could be way off base of course and perhaps the actual answer is more obvious than that, but one of the reasons I look forward to rewatching the show is filling in these gaps I have in terms of the plot and seeing if my conjectures to what I previously hadn't figured out yet are correct or not.

Another benefit to NHS' sudden appearance was seeing how Lan Zhan seemed almost jealous at how chummy Wei Ying was being with him.  He didn't look thrilled at all when NHS popped up, and then that look on his face before he turned away from them was really the epitome of disapproval. Actually, he looked a little pissed. I wonder if he was actually disappointed to be reminded that Wei Ying's overt friendliness was not just reserved for him, since he was just as exuberantly social to NHS as well.  

But progress was being made in their relationship just the same: take the fact that he didn’t fling off Wei Ying’s hand when he grabbed hold of him. Prior to their time in the cold pool cave, I doubt Lan Zhan would’ve allowed anyone to touch and lead him that way. In fact, he’s straight out said before that he doesn’t like physical contact with others. Obviously that’s no longer the case anymore, especially when it comes to Wei Ying. It's only the first of many more instances of hand grabbing and other touches between them. It's so exciting watching their relationship slowly but surely growing all over again.

Although, when it comes to Wei Ying, I think it takes a much longer time for his feelings toward Lan Zhan to undergo any change from close friendship. I'm probably alone on this, but while I think he likes Lan Zhan a lot, I don’t think his feelings went through the same transformation to love that Lan Zhan’s did until much, much later.  Or at least, not in the way that he is actively aware of.  He clearly felt an instant kinship with Lan Zhan, but I think it takes a long while before he even understands that it’s different from how he feels towards someone like Jiang Cheng or even Nie Huaisang.

Watching him as he admired Lan Zhan's beauty, I was naturally tempted at first to ascribe more meaning to his reaction than just appreciative appraisal because I wanted Wei Ying to be enamored with Lan Zhan already. But the truth of the matter is, now that I’m able to take a step back and really assess their relationship, I don’t think Wei Ying was quite at the maturity level yet to be able to properly comprehend what his admiration may actually be an indicative of. Wei Ying has a big heart, which is one of the most lovable qualities about him, but because of his heart and it's boundless capacity to love and care for others, I think even he himself can't decipher the differing levels of feelings he might have for different people.  And because it will take him a long time to realize the greater significance behind his attachment to Lan Zhan, it’s really heart-breaking how he almost carelessly friend-zones Lan Zhan at various points in this first part of their lives before he finally wakes up. In fact, I can pinpoint the exact moment when I believe he wakes up, but since it's still in the far future, I’ll save my further ramblings on that matter until then.

Bunny Time with the Yunmeng Sibs

I love bunnies a lot and I also love the Yunmeng siblings a bunch, so naturally I wanted to love this moment completely as well, especially since seeing Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng nuzzle bunnies is just one of the cutest sights I've ever been laid eyes on. Unfortunately, there was one thing that put a damper on the scene for me and it was seeing Wei Ying throw that poor bunny at Jiang Cheng.  That wasn't a stunt bunny he tossed, it was the real thing. I rewound several times just to confirm it. I winced so hard the first time I watched the scene that I think I gave myself a toothache, and even now I still grimace a little when I see it. For my peace of mind I have to assume Wang Zhuocheng (who of course portrays Jiang Cheng) did catch the bunny and the take we saw was not a do-over because he actually missed it so they had to redo the scene again. I will also have to assume that the bunny was the same bunny throughout the rest of scene which means it survived the toss and it was just fine afterwards since bunnies are usually fragile little creatures and are susceptible to heart-attacks at just the slightest shock (and being suddenly tossed in the air would definitely qualify as that). The alternative is just too gloomy otherwise. Chinese productions don't generally have a good track record when it comes to animals so...yeah...I gotta stop thinking about it and just focus on the siblings cuddling the cute rabbits.

I hope someone adopted the bunnies and the cast and crew didn't just cook and eat them afterwards.

ChengQing

It actually just crossed my mind tonight that Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing's ship name actually sounds like part of the Untamed's Chinese title. I don't know why I didn't notice it before. The extra "g" probably threw me off. Anyway, the way this scene started was rather odd because based on the way they greeted each other, it was as if Jiang Chen and Wen Qing were on the outs, like they just had an argument or something. Which doesn't make sense because the last time they saw each other was at Cloud Recesses, where Jiang Cheng was still making puppy eyes at Wen Qing while she was making her lantern wish, but then cut to here and it's like he's not even that thrilled to bump into her again. What happened to his little crush on her? I was kinda disappointed.

Wen Chao is a Close-Talking Creep

I don't like Wen Chao but I absolutely enjoyed He Peng's performance of him because he is so effectively creepy and shitty. Just the way he purposely invades Big Bro Xichen and Wen Qing's space as he threatens them totally made my skin crawl.  More than once I've wondered how the hell Wen Qing was able to grow up around him and not get harassed in the worst way.  He's also such a petty dick, with the way he purposefully dirtied big brother's rug for no good reason other than to be a shithead. But then, later on, when he's called to be totally pathetic to the point where he's downright sympathetic, he was able to pull that off with equal aplomb. So even though I almost hate his character, I do want to take this moment to give some love to the actor, whom I think did a really good job. Playing villains is sometimes an equally thankless job as playing the straight man, especially with villains like Wen Chao which aren't meant to be alluring like Xue Yang or likable like Jin Guangyao. He could have easily veered into caricature territory, which I actually thought the actor for Wen Ruohan did so that's why I didn't like his performance nor was I able to take him seriously as a character, but He Peng's Wen Chao always seemed grounded to me. I think a big reason for that is because the actor, in his own words, viewed his character as an arrogant, spoiled rich kid instead of a soulless villain and therefore chose to play him that way. As a result, I think he was still able to infuse Wen Chao with a small degree of humanity.  The fear he felt whenever he had to face his dad was palpable. He's basically like a bully because his upbringing allows him to be one, but ultimately he's still a weak human being. That's why, when he turned into a sad, sniveling shell of a man under Wei Wuxian's torture, I found him really pitiful and actually felt bad for him.

Odds and Ends

Seriously, why the hell was Wen Chao able to hold the yin metal with his BARE HAND like that??? They've been saying time and again how powerful the metals are, how full of resentment they are, how normal people can't just handle them cuz even a highly cultivated person like Lan Yi was done in by just one piece, so how come a medium-powered mofo like Wen Chao was able to just hold as if it was just a some rock he picked off the ground? Even if the yin metals were only just activated from their dormancy, they're still soul-sapping implements of evil, so this really should not have been possible.

The dear translators kept on calling Wen Chao's bird an "owl" and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out WHY. There is nothing about that thing that resembles an owl, imho. It looks more like a raven with eagle talons and the sounds it made were like that of a hawk, so I really can't figure out how they got owl from that. Even the Chinese words for owl ("猫头鹰") is completely different from the characters used for that bird. I mean, I guess it could be one of those deep dives like how they came up with "Childe" for all the male honorifics, but seriously why even bother? Probably would’ve been easier to just call it a raven since that's what the cloudy mass looks like the most. Although I must say, I do love the way it looks: I like that they use the evil smoky effect for it since it’s suppose to be a bad birdy. I think it's one of the more successful CGI effects in the show.

Team CQL can be proud of themselves for the owl/raven/whatever effect, but then they should also dunk their heads in the toilets for this shitshow at the Wen Village. There was no consistency to these guys...some had the whited out eyeballs that up until then, all ghost puppets on the show have been shown to have, but then some, like that female extra in the front had regular eyes. And then some of the extras were rolling up their eyes. It's like, was there NO direction give to these guys? This whole Night of the Living Not Dead scene was a complete embarrassment. Any tension they were trying to build up for this scene was completely destroyed as soon as these walking jokes showed up.

Lastly, I had to laugh when Wei Ying quickly divulged the secret of the yin metals to Nie Huaisang without much prompting whatsoever. He JUST pledged himself to secrecy in front of Big Bro Xichen and Uncle Lan in like the last episode, and he already broke the promise by this one. What was more amazing was that Lan Zhan didn’t even bat an eye at it nor did he even try to stop him. I guess they both completely forgot about the promise already.

Question I Still Have

Actually, I’ve had this question since the beginning but now seems to be a good time as any to ask this, since this episode ended on those guys: WHY they're called "ghost puppets"? I've actually never heard of the Chinese words they used for the zombies before, on any other show.  Was this terminology just a creation of the Untamed’s scriptwriter just for the show. And if so, I still don’t understand why they have to be called ghost puppets since they’re clearly NOT ghosts. Calling them "living" puppets would’ve been more appropriate. If someone has some insight on this, I’d appreciate the knowledge drop.

Overall Episode Rating: 7 Lil Apples out of 10

Disclaimer: The Untamed would not be possible without Mo Dao Zu Shi and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu-laozi.  I mean no disrespect whatsoever with my humble comparisons between the novel and the live action, even when I sometimes favor the changes in the show. All hail MDZS and MXTX-laozi always and forever!  

#The Untamed #陈情令 #spoilers #WangXian #Untamed Rewatch #Mo Dao Zu Shi #CQL #MDZS #魔道祖师 #Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #Founder of Diabolism #Wei Ying Wei Wuxian #Lan Zhan Lan Wangji #Nie Huaisang #Yunmeng Siblings #Jiang Cheng #Jiang Yanli #ChengQing #Wen Qing #Wen Chao #He Peng #Lan XiChen #Lan Qiren

[softgrungeprophet]

it’s that time again. time for me to be annoyed/frustrated at the comics that came in the 20-teens that simultaneously responded directly to the 2000s, followed in the 2000s’ continuation, but completely glossed over and ignored the very serious topics that were brought up. and then we get the fucking 2018 run which does NEITHER and just seeks to make it worse for shock value without being even remotely thoughtful about anything it does! wow.

we could have had some really interesting growth for eddie and the symbiote’s relationship by honestly addressing things like eddie’s illness, hypocrisy as anti-venom, his status as a victim of abuse, and so on...

of course i know if i say “eddie is a victim” people will get hissy but like.... i’m not saying he’s an innocent blameless baby who was manipulated into being the weirdo he is... i’m just saying... he’s a victim of abuse. he’s been taken advantage of a lot. almost any help he’s received has required some kind of reciprocation.

he’s a shithead and he went off the deep-end after new ways to die because remender’s version of eddie fucking sucks, he’s smug and weird and violent, and also he’s been neglected and tortured and abused and experimented on and he needs therapy and blah blah blah

he’s also not some fuckin accidental drunk driver who was hit into thinking he’s innocent. that’s so fucking--jeez. everything about these retcons donny has been doing miss the point even more than the comics he says he loves so much. it’s wild. like i don’t like new ways to die OR new ways to live, remender’s run was okay but i hated the way he wrote eddie, marvel knights spider-man just sucks in general, the hunger 03 also sucks, but like they do feed into each other in a way that.... sort of makes sense....

i just wish there was a way any of the comics would have said, “hey look there are some ways in which eddie is a victim but there are also some ways in which he needs to take responsibility for his actions”

but that kind of nuanced take is impossible for the way these comics are put out and canceled and retconned and so on forever.. it’s so ... ugh.....

the hunger 03 sucks... it also influenced over a decades’ worth of Venom comics including costa’s in its own weird way.... and i just wish we could simultaneously be like, Yes the symbiote is not inherently evil or corrupting but Also it did abuse Eddie, and Yes Eddie has been treated poorly for a great deal of his life and Also is a motherfucker who needs to be held responsible for his actions.

Is this hypocritical to be like, “can we address the 2000s” while also saying “2018 run is not valid”

in my defense even the shitty 2000s were like a continuity and didn’t try to fully retcon every single aspect of venom lore that ever existed (tho it sure did plenty of retconning....) whereas the current run... is doing exactly that....

of course this goddamn run will probably also influence the following comics unless the next writers retcon the retcons or like, ignore it and it gets put into its own earth or something. idk. like no one really counts dark origin right? and that works cause it also had a negligible influence on the rest of the comics. but like, the bad hunger had a very lasting impact on the comics. so i guess we just hope that donny cates, despite currently selling super well, does not actually influence any of the comics that come after?

i don’t fuckin know. i just think it kind of sucks that like “eddie was abused” is something that gets used as either a “lol no that never happened and if you talk about it you hate the symbiote” or else an excuse to demonize the symbiote even after its own character growth arcs in the apparently supremely unpopular gotg and space knight stuff... lol

maybe if every fucking series from 2013 to 2016 (minus costa which is honestly more 2017) didn’t get canned we could have gotten more. like honestly, 2016′s Carnage--for all its flaws--seemed like it had something to say about Eddie as a character, about his flaws and so on, and I gotta wonder where that was going. It flat out says “Venom didn’t make Eddie Brock a bastard” so like? But then at the same time all of the symbiotes in that series were completely silent so? I don’t even know.

Cullen Bunn was clearly going somewhere too but I have no idea where other than “symbiote is alive but has trouble communicating” and “eddie is coming down from his murder spree as he realizes flash thompson is in fact helping people as agent venom”

the two fit together in a very strangely complementary way. sometimes i gotta wonder about a universe in which those two comics in particular ran concurrently to address venom, flash, toxin, and eddie’s many issues. but toxin’s probably gone... though in my heart they are with jubulile and her mom in south africa, learning what it’s like to be part of a loving family...

man. the resigned “Okay.” at the end of twav...... twav good imo.

anyway

i don’t even know what the point of this is. i’m all over the place in this post. it’s frustrating that donny has made it kinda impossible to bring up eddie’s victimhood without like... qualifying it to the ends of the earth to clarify that you don’t think he’s some kind of pure cinnamon roll who’s been dreadfully manipulated for 12 years....

I feel like I’m not making any sense!!! Words are hard.

I feel like I’ve kinda been avoiding writing about the symbiote though in part because it’s hard for me to balance that many characters and in part because of Donny’s stupid bullshit, which is dumb as fuck but I guess that’s what he wanted huh!!!! Need to read Lethal Protector to cleanse my palate but it’s taking forever to get it from the library because they only have one copy.

ugh

The symbiote is not an evil creature like he wants everyone to think... goddammit.... but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t carefully address both its and Eddie’s mistakes without fabricating new different mistakes to obscure the previous ones. Or whatever. Fuckin I don’t know lol the entirety of the continuity is just a bunch of bullshit. 80s-90s continuity largely separate from 2000-20...15ish continuity largely separate AGAIN from the 2016 continuity yet also directly tied to it, against completely separated from the 2018 continuity which is off saying “fuck you” to literally every venom writer to ever exist since Eddie’s conception, ironically including the guy who wrote the cursed hunger

What am I trying to say! I don’t know! i feel like a broken record. There’s a lot of empty space between Agent Venom and 2016 that was never filled! also between 2016 and 2018 lmfao.

Donny “everything went wrong and I’m not going to explain how other than ‘God’ and ‘Eddie lost his job cause screaming symbiote’“ Cates really pullin some shit. what do you mean eddie tends to work toward solving his own problems EVEN WHILE DYING. waid’s mini-story in NWTD showed that eddie, despite being sad and sick and exhausted was still like.... eddie, stubbornly searching out his own solutions and getting angry. ofc i’m not sure how well it succeeded at parts. the comics in those days were still pretty steeped in the weird symbiote hallucinations that it was never clear if they were meant to be caused by the symbiote or just eddie’s sick brain. like the Last Temptation. I have a love-hate relationship with those two issues... I think they’re pretty well-done but also something about them just rubs me the wrong way. 

Anyway back to Cates: it’s not like there wasn’t space for a spiral after FH or anything. You could have really dug into Eddie and the symbiote’s insecurities wrt family and parenting. but nah. let’s just make it so there’s a SECRET CHILD, and oh the pre-established sibling? we could have dug into her and made her a real character. but no, she doesn’t exist, women are either fake or dead or violated.

asshole.

but again like..... the 03 hunger, cursed and bad... like... it’s still workable. you can work with the corrupting forces, the addiction metaphor (on the SYMBIOTE’S part, with adrenaline) and the intense codependency, and still have them move on and into a healthier-by-comparison relationship.

but cates’ run is like... much harder to recover from if it has as lasting of an effect, because it leaves no part untouched, and goes beyond “normal” abuse into really weird unforgiveable territory... like the canon of that comic is the canon in which everything has been completely changed into something unrecognizable.

i joke about my AUs being unrecognizable because, visually at least, they WOULD be unrecognizable for most Venom fans, but the comics inform them as characters a lot in the stories i write in those AUs, from the 96 good hunger, to the 03 bad hunger, to space knight to venom inc, and so on. But donny cates really is out here essentially reverse-engineering retcons to justify his characterizations.

barely related: the way eddie was raised and the way he coped by overachieving and so on and so forth makes me think he would have--despite presumably gaining a great deal of confidence in college once out of his father’s home--been really vulnerable to being taken advantage of by like, other students or teachers, but idk how exactly to articulate what i mean like... uh... not even that he WAS taken advantage of but that his need for validation would have left him open to it... i guess??

that’s got pretty much nothing to do with this post though but kinda ties into what i’ve said before about how i think eddie was a withdrawn and isolated adolescent who only opened up in college. why i disagree with donny’s retcon for that reason in addition to other reasons--the way he’d been shown to be bullied as a kid in previous comics, as well as the lack of history of alcoholism, the clarification in lethal protector that carl wasn’t physical, so on and so forth.

again that’s not related to this post really... and it’s like, a good 50% headcanon, but it makes sense in my head as something that fits his history?? i guess?

#nadia reads venom #this is way too fuckin long what am i even talking about anymore i don't know #long post #this is basically half of what i think about 24/7 #sometimes u just gotta barf out a bunch of words #to organize your thoughts #now... did i succeed in organizing my thoughts? never.

[that--one--slow--song-blog]

13 Reasons Why Season 2: My Favourite Scenes and Performances

Yep its me again this show fucked me up so I gotta keep talking about it.

Here’s my personal favourite scenes and performances from each actor in season 2.

Hannah Baker/Katherine Langford

-I have always found Katherine to be so fucking talented but I really enjoyed the scene of her and Mr.Porter when he is explaining what he wishes he would’ve said and done for her.  It was really emotional and brought back the “omg she’s dead” which I felt myself forgetting she had died from all the flashbacks and Clay being able to envision her. 

- The Zach and Hannah montage was cute af

- Her and Dylan when they were high talking about souls and love and shit

Clay Jensen/Dylan Minnette

- Dylan portrays Clay really well in my opinion, I’m not a huge fan of Clay in season 2 but there was 2 scenes I felt he did so well.

- The eulogy scene was really beautiful and was a good way to say goodbye to Hannah.

- The gun scene at Bryce’s was sad and intense and I think Dylan did so fucking well.

- So basically I think he’s good at being emotional

- Also he works really well with Brandon (Justin) imo

Olivia Baker/Kate Walsh

- THE DRESS SCENE OH MY GOD

- She did amazing, every single scene Kate Walsh did so well

- When Tony found Hannah’s green toque in the store was so well done

Tony Padilla/Christian Navarro

- Every scene with his boyfriend was really emotional and gave Tony this vulnerability that I think Christian portrayed beautifully

- Any scene with his car

- Him immediately trying to find Clay when “The Night We Met” came on was really sad

Jessica Davis/Alisha Boe

- Alisha is so fucking talented holy shit

- The panic attack in the changing room 

- Her court scene for Hannah and when she spoke about Bryce

-Her crying into her pillow

-When she reached out to Chloe

Justin Foley/Brandon Flynn

- I thought he portrayed drug abuse pretty well without overacting

- When he told his mum to leave too

- When Clay asks if he wants to be adopted

-Brandon does humour really well, Justin is super funny to me

- Him and Dylan are good scene partners

Zach Dempsey/Ross Butler

- When he was smashing the locker!!! Shit that was good 

-Every time he tried to open up to his mum about mental health or his dad

-Him and Miles did great together

-He plays the “shy dorky jock” type really well and I think that’s what makes everyone love him and Hannah

Tyler Down/Devin Druid

- I honestly think Devin is my favourite actor on the show

- He literally does so good in every scene

- He’s also the youngest out of the cast at 19

-Like to play a character like Tyler is probably really intense, plus this season so much happened to Tyler

- His best performances for me were the bathroom scene cause he deserves so much credit for doing that, also the end of his friendship with Cyrus was sad as hell and of course his portrayal of descending into what he ended the season as was really fucking good. It makes you forget it’s a show.

Bryce Walker/Justin Prentice

- I think Justin is also incredibly talented for being able to make literally everyone hate Bryce so fucking much

- The way he can portray such a manipulative piece of shit is honestly really impressive

- His best scene was definitely the fake flashbacks he made about Hannah and how really he’s the obvious messed up one. 

- He just does a really good job

Alex Standall/Miles Heizer

-Miles had such a tough story to portray this season

- I really liked him trying to remember everything 

- His scenes with his parents were really fucking sad 

- I liked his dry sense of humour

- I think he does well with Ross

Mr.Porter/Derek Luke

- fuCK he did so goood

- The fucking court scene literally fucks me up every time and I’ve watched it like 10 times

- The choke hold he put on Bryce was fucked but come on we all loved that

Sherri Holland/Ajiona Alexus

- The scene in the clubhouse had me fucked up cause I was terrified for her

-Her telling off Clay about why he shouldn’t shame girls for what happens to them was AMAZING

Ryan Shaver/Tommy Dorfman

- Him helping Olivia was really beautiful 

- The flashback of him and Tony was cute and tragic 

Skye Miller/Sosie Bacon

- Honestly she portrayed Skye really well

- Both her parents are famous actors so obviously she did good

- Her scenes in the hospital and at the mental health centre were really good

Courtney Crimsen/Michele Selene Ang

-MICHELE DID SO GOOD

-WHy wasn’t she in more scenes

-Literally a 180 from season 1, I loved every scene she was in

- Her coming out to help Hannah AMazing

- Her pulling the fire alarm on the fight AmAzing

- Her dads buying Blue Is The Warmest Colour AMAZING

- Her getting a girlfriend FUCKING AMAZING

Montgomery de la Cruz/Timothy Granaderos

- Fuck Timothy did so well cause Monty is a psycho

- Doing that scene with Devin is so impressive and like he is super talented

- I like him but I wish his character wasn't such a shithead

Cyrus/Bryce Cass

- Shit he did good

- Played such a caring character and him and Devin were funny and amazing and I’m sad that things didn’t work out

-Loved him and the girl who played his sister

Chloe Rice/Anne Winters

- She portrayed the character so well

- I really liked Chloe I liked that she wasn’t mean but just scared and confused what to do

- I really liked her court scene is was sad as hell and honestly made sense for her character.

SO YEAh I basically love everyone and i love this fucking show lmfao

#13 reasons why #13 reasons season 2 #13rw #13rw spoilers #13rw thoughts #clay jensen #dylan minnette #hannah baker #katherine langford #tony padilla #christian navarro #jessica davis #alisha boe #Justin Foley #brandon flynn #Bryce Walker #justin prentice #ross butler #zach dempsey #ryan shaver #tommy dorfman #michele selene ang #courtney crimsen #Tyler Down #devin druid #chloe rice #anne winters #cyrus #bryce cass #olivia baker

[edxwin-elric]

Chemistry (Part 2)

Part 2: Prom Night

Rating: T

Pairing: Edwin/Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Word Count: 2110

Description: Part 2 of this Edwin Thing

Modern School AU where Edward is jealous when Winry talks about other boys, but she’s completely oblivious.

A/N: Here’s the next bit! Enjoy!

tag || first || ffn || ao3

previous || next

Winry

“Hey, Win. Where’s your hothead?”

I take another sip of punch and turn to Paninya who just appeared at the refreshment table.

“Over there.” I nod to where Edward has decided to spend the night sulking in the corner.

“Why isn’t he with you?” she frowns.

“I have no clue,” I answer quietly, sipping more punch to keep the annoying lump in my throat from turning to into actual tears.

I mean…I don’t understand it. We got here and took a few cheesy pictures together. He was cracking stupid jokes, and I was sort of floating in a prom bubble thinking maybe sometime tonight while we’re dancing or sitting together he might admit his feelings for me.

And then suddenly he went rigid and started acting all bizarre again. I tried to ask what was wrong, but he just stormed off to the corner where he had a heated discussion with Al, and then pulled out his phone.

At first, I was confused. And then I was annoyed. And now I’m just sort of frustrated. And also hurt. It’s not like I did anything to set him off. Why can’t he just talk to me like a normal person?

“Do you want me to go talk to him?”

I blink and look over at my friend again.

“I’m not sure that’ll do any good,” I tell her quietly, fidgeting with the skirt of my dress—my wildly expensive dress I had to beg Granny to let me buy but that I had to have because it exactly matches Edward’s eyes.

“Can’t hurt to try.” She grins and starts off across the room.

I try not to watch, but I also want to see what happens, so I attempt to be sneaky. He makes a face at whatever she says first. Then he looks over at me, and I quickly look away. When I look back at them, his face is all red, but that could be for a million reasons, so I don’t know—oh. He’s coming over here.

Oh no. What do I do?

Wait. It’s just Ed. I don’t need to get worked up over—

“Do you want to dance?”

He says it so suddenly, and…robotically I almost misunderstand him.

“What?”

“Do you…want to dance?” he repeats it, the red in his cheeks getting redder.

“Um, yeah.” I nod, biting my lip. “I’d like that.”

“Cool.” He nods and clears his throat.

I set down my drink, and then take his somewhat extended hand. He leads us onto the edge of the dance floor, and I forget how to breathe when his hands slide around my back, one resting on the dip in my spine while the other settles between my shoulder blades. I tentatively put my hands on his shoulders, but he tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, so I blush and slide my arms around his neck.

“Since when are you taller than me?” I whisper, leaning toward his ear.

“We’re the same height,” he answers with a frown.

“I’m wearing four-inch heels,” I remind him.

“I must’ve hit my growth spurt when you weren’t looking,” he murmurs, one of his hands coming up to play with a piece of my hair.

“Why are you being so moody tonight?” I venture carefully.

“Wh-what are you talking about?” he sputters, and I roll my eyes.

“You ran off earlier,” I remind him. “What was that about?”

“I just…” He swallows and dips his head so his lips are brushing my ear. “I got…jealous, okay?”

“What?” I jerk back and blink at him.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it. It’s not–”

“What do you mean you were jealous?” I whisper over him. “Jealous of who?”

“Ryan,” he grinds out. “He was… You didn’t seem to notice, but the whole time I was talking to you he was undressing you with his eyes.”

“So, you stormed off?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I tried to pull you away, but you got belligerent, and…he got this smug look… And then you immediately started waving at him. I needed to cool down.”

“I don’t like him like that,” I tell him for the billionth time. “How many times do I have to say–”

“He likes you like that,” he cuts me off. “And regardless, he pisses me off.”

“Why does it bother you so much?” I press carefully.

“Huh?”

“That Ryan likes me. Why does that annoy you?”

He looks away and then at the floor, his blush coming back hard.

“Ed?”

“Because I like you, okay?” he blurts out at the same time he lets me go. “There. I said it. Feel free to laugh at me or what the hell ever.”

He turns and starts walking off, leaving me speechless on the dance floor. I almost don’t notice the couple next to me stopping until the girl leans over and whispers in my ear.

“Was that Edward?”

I blink and turn to find Lan Fan looking after my vanishing date.

“Why’s he storming off like that?” her boyfriend, Ling, asks loudly, drawing attention from other couples. “Is he that bad of a dancer?”

“No,” I mutter, feeling blood rush to my face. “It’s not…”

“Are you okay?” Lan Fan asks with concern, but I shake my head.

“I don’t know,” I confess. “He…he just said…”

He just said he liked me. I mean, he admitted it. But then he got all flustered and ran away. Such an Ed thing to do. The idiot.

“I have to go after him,” I mumble. “Excuse me.”

Grabbing my skirt in my hands, I lift the hem and take off after my dumb prom date.

Only…when I reach the place where I last saw him, I can’t find him anywhere.

Edward

God, I fucked that up. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. Winry doesn’t like me. Even if she is telling the truth and she doesn’t have it bad for Ryan, she never dropped a single hint that she could even possibly be into me.

But I just had to tell her I like her. Like the shithead I am.

I’m tempted to look back at her to see if she’s doubled over with laughter at what an utter fool I am. But my pride is already stinging enough without that visual blow.

Now I don’t know what to do. How am I ever going to look at her again? She’ll probably start avoiding me now. Since being around someone who has feelings for you, but that you have no affection toward is the definition of uncomfortable.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I should talk to Al. He’s good with this stuff. He can tell me what to do.

“Going somewhere, Elric?”

I jerk and bite back a sneer at the familiar voice. I look up at Mr. Mustang who is standing casually beside the refreshment table with his hand shoved in his pocket.

“Looking for my brother,” I mutter.

“I just saw him take Miss Chang out to the courtyard,” he volunteers with a smirk. “Thinking of crashing their alone time?”

“Like that’s any of your business.”

“It might be.” He shrugs. “If–”

“Here, sir. I thought you might be thirsty.”

I take a step back as Ms. Hawkeye appears at his side holding a plastic cup of punch.

“Oh, uh, thank you.” He takes it from her, and I’m afraid I might puke from how he’s looking at her.

She coughs and looks to the side.

"Weren’t you going somewhere?” he turns back to me with an impatient look, and I almost burst into laughter.

“Yeah. Bye.”

I snicker quietly to myself as I slip out the side entrance to the courtyard. As soon as the door shuts behind me, I sober up. As funny as it is to watch Mr. Mustang attempt to not-flirt with his T.A., I have bigger issues right now.

“Al? Alphonse,” I hiss into the courtyard garden as I wander through the dimly lit space. “Al—oh.” I turn a corner around a hedge and step back.

Apparently, Mustang wasn’t kidding about Al and May since I clearly interrupted a pretty intense make out session.

“What the hell, brother?” He disengages from his girlfriend and stands to his feet, stepping away from the bench they were cuddling on. I wince internally as I see his petite date duck her head. I embarrassed her. Fuck. Al will never forgive me for this.

“I’m sorry,” I start quickly. “I just need–”

“Where’s Winry?” he interrupts.

I swallow and run a hand over the back of my head.

“Uh…I left her inside.”

“Alone?” He raises his eyebrows, and I cringe.

“I needed to get away for a minute.”

“Why? So, you could crash my night?”

“No.” I straighten, my jaw getting tight. “I…”

I glance at May again and pull my brother further away.

“I told Winry I like her,” I confess.

“You did? Really?”

“Yeah.” I swallow. “And then I…ran away.”

“You did what?” He frowns.

“She doesn’t like me!” I hiss. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Man the hell up,” he bites back. “Please, God, tell me you didn’t just leave her on the dance floor.”

Oh shit.

“Seriously, brother? You tell a girl you like her and then do something as stupid as that? No wonder she’s always throwing wrenches at you.”

“Come on, Al. Help me! What do I do?”

“Go back in there and apologize for starters.”

I groan. Why am I always apologizing to Winry?

“And then you need to hear her out.”

“Yeah because listening to her rejection is going to improve my night.”

“You don’t know that she’s going to reject you,” he says quickly. “In fact, I highly doubt she will.”

“What?” I blink.

“Winry’s been in love with you since you were ten,” he goes on. “Only the two of you were too busy bickering to see it.”

I feel my mouth drop open, but no words will come out.

“Go back inside and find her. Apologize,” he repeats. “And then if you still can’t come up with something to say, just kiss her.”

“What?” I choke.

“Trust me.” He grins. “Kissing her is a great way to communicate your feelings.”

I glance over my shoulder at his girlfriend, and she gives me a short wave before turning her eyes to my brother.

Fuck. I gotta get out of here.

“Thanks.”

I nod and start for the school entrance.

“Yeah, sure. Just don’t come find me again.”

I shake my head at him as I slip back inside and head down the hall. Hopefully, Winry will be pretty understanding when I get back to her. I mean, she knows I’m a fucking moron, even if I hate when she calls me that. She’ll forgive me.

On the other hand, I did just abandon her on the dance floor in the middle of prom. During a slow dance.

Shit.

Winry

Did he leave? Was he that upset about his confession that he went home? Without me?

I take a slow breath and do another scan of the room, even as I suck my lower lip in between my teeth and begin chewing on it. I can’t believe Ed would do this… Both admitting his feelings for me and leaving me alone in the middle of prom.

I’m ready for the emotional rollercoaster of this evening to be over. Only I can’t find him to set things straight.

Grr.

“Winry. I found you.”

I jump and look at the voice only to find Ed walking toward me in the deserted hallway that runs to the courtyard.

“There you are,” I hiss. “Where have you–”

“Look. I’m sorry I disappeared like that. I just–”

“You said you–”

“I know what I said, but—wait. Have you been crying?” His eyebrows snap together, and I shift my weight.

“No. Of course not.”

“You look upset.”

“Well, in case you forgot, you sort of announced that you–”

“Right,” he interrupts again. “About that. I… Winry, you…”

“Edward, would you just–”

“Fuck it.”

I blink, about to ask what that means, when suddenly, his face is coming toward mine. I don’t have time to move away before it’s happening. His mouth is on mine, and I’m…we’re…

Oh my God. We’re kissing.

[To Be Continued…]

#to be continued #edwin fic #high school au #edwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #fanfiction by me #chemistry au #fma #fmab #fma fanfiction #fullmetal high school #prom night #prom fic #edwin prom #fueled by fire #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma brotherhood #my edwin

[kuraiamore]

Gintama fic, Pay your workers fair wage or they’ll start a revolution!!

pairing: Gen

fandom: Gintama

rating: T

summary: Come experience a typical day in the Yorozuya office! Meet the team that makes the magic happen! Find out what it's like to be a member of a fantastic Odd Jobs team!

(In case of emergencies, please head to the Back Arrow button located on the top left-hand corner of your internet browser page.)

(This fanfiction takes no responsibility for any failed expectations on behalf of the reader. Terms and Conditions apply. See your local pro-fanfiction Tumblr post for details.)

notes: Very Very Very belated bday fic for @first-quarter-of-the-moon . This wonderful human being, whose friendship I’m so grateful to have stumbled across in this tiny fandom of shithead samurai, asked for a fic with a pun on the word “glasses”. I’ve no idea if I managed to pull it off, but nevertheless, here it is and I hope you enjoy it even if it is months late<3 <3 <3

ao3 or read below.

It's a quiet day in the Yorozuya office-cum-household-apartment; no jobs, no clients, no day-saving adventure to embark on for one to take pride in one’s life-and-career path as a Can-Do-All, NEET Samurai and Friends Pty Ltd., Odd Jobs™ business. The sort of day where face-planting on the desk for catnaps is considered high productivity and the walk from the couch to the fridge for a well earned snack after doing nothing for an hour is worthy of office-cum-household-apartment bragging rights.

So really, it's like every other day when they're not out disastrously, fantastically doing some combination of saving the world from mad aliens, accidentally joining forces with an assortment of oddball characters who really ought to get some life counselling, travelling through interdimensional planes of existence on ridiculously wacky adventures, or whatever have you, instead of actually, you know, making the required revenue to run a profitable business.

In other words: a standard Yorozuya working day.

At this current point in time, momentarily unaware of the literal office tour taking place for the convenience of this tired narrator, the self-made boss of the Yorozuya is seated at his desk, last week’s copy of Shounen Jump fanned out in a roof over the top of his head. His two young employees-in-training-slash-unofficially-adopted-children are lounging about the main room, one on each of the twin couches framing the apartment-cum-office’s only coffee table. The small, rickety thing has its worn, scratched-marked surface covered with evidence of the day’s work: magazines and dirty tea and coffee mugs. Advertisement catalogues, cooking magazines, idol pop magazines, sports magazines, cars, fashion, home real estate, and everything beyond and in between build up a veritable paper fortress blocking either couch camp from each other.

Odd Jobs™ business, you see; gotta be ready to deal with anything and everything.

As usual on these lazy working days, the trio that make up the Yorozuya spend more time making indulgent commentary on their reading material than actually reading the material itself. Then again, it could only be expected; none of trio have spent any considerable amount of time in school on account of their traumatic backstories which this tired narrator will ask both the beloved characters and readers to conveniently ignore for the sake for easy comedy, and so the expectation that any of them would seriously engage in any real, productive work is entirely preposterous, like seriously, what did you expect, we all know these characters are as dumb as bricks and—

“Hey, some people are trying to read here!” Kagura yells.

“Quiet, Kagura,” Gintoki say, an apathetic tone and expression in his voice and face reminiscent of old men working middle management roles that have no end-of-year bonuses or promotions to look forward to, “the boss is in the middle of important business and needs all his concentration.”

“A proper boss who has important work to do would be doing the work instead of wasting everyone’s time nagging at his employees,” Kagura bites back.

“Well you wouldn't know because you're not a boss, are you?”

“Miss Teen Idol says I am!” Tossing aside the magazine she's currently reading, Kagura tears through the paper fortress like a hurricane uprooting and scattering cities into the skies.

“Oieee!” Shinpachi yells, as his perfectly stacked tower of magazines with Otsuu’s name and face on the front cover, however big or small or scandalously associated, goes toppling over. “Don't worry, Otsuu-chan, I'll save you!”

The broken fortress becomes a battleground, hands and magazines flying as (thankfully empty) cups fall over. It's a battle of speed and precision, Kagura attacking with her rummage-glance-throw-away technique against Shinpachi’s valiant defence in protecting creases and wrinkles from Otsuu-chan’s face.

“Ah-ha!” Kagura crows later, after two minutes of constant barrage. Her arm swings wildly above her head in triumph, the magazine clutched in her hand waving like a banner of victory.

Gintoki yawns without bothering to cover his mouth. There's an empty cup of pudding on the side of his desk that he eyes mournfully. It had been the last one in the fridge, now serving as an ineffective paperweight to last month's overdue gas bill. He’ll have to go buy more soon, lest he suffer from sugar withdrawal. Maybe some of those new jelly-filled chocolate bites he saw at the convenience store too while he's at it.

But then again, a new ice cream parlour had opened two weeks ago, just twenty minutes away by foot from the Yorozuya office.

And he also dimly remembers a commercial from last night's re-run of My Pretty Kitty Takes Over The World, featuring some wildberry confectionery shaped into wearable cat ears.

Gintoki’s still daydreaming sugar-coated dreams when Kagura smacks her magazine onto his desk. The wave of air that comes fanning out from the two-page spread is so violent, it tickles his nose and sends his fringe billowing out around his face.

“Here!” Kagura points to the page she's opened up, revealing a blazing red title asking, ‘Are you Beauty, Brains, or Brawn? Find out your best attribute to win over the Man and Job of Your Dreams!’

Shinpachi joins them at the desk, scanning the heading with a frown. “Why is it ‘Man’ and ‘Job’?” he wonders aloud. “Since when did relationships and careers have anything to do with each other? They’re are totally different things.”

“What are you talking about, Shinpachi? Don’t you know that dealing with men is a full time job?”

“That's right,” Gintoki agrees, nodding along, “men are scum.”

“Yup, yup. They're a parasite on the industry of life. Oi, boss, you should give me a raise for all the effort and overtime I put in dealing with the scum in our workplace.”

“Sorry,” Gintoki says, “the agreement of the contract you signed stipulates that wage raises can only be considered after gaining a minimum of ten years’ experience in your working role.”

“Oh,” Kagura says, complete lack of understanding on her blank face. She shrugs. “Okay then.”

“Wait but we never signed a contract!” Shinpachi says, perplexed.

“What do you call that then?” Gintoki says, throwing his thumb out behind his shoulder.

Shinpachi follows the invisible line to a copy of one of their old advertisement flyers stuck on wall behind the desk. It's instantly recognisable, featuring three handprints and one paw print haphazardly framed around a picture of the Yorozuya team.

A prickly, tingly feeling rushes through his chest—it might be bad business manipulation at its best, but Shinpachi can’t find it in himself to argue against that. He clears his throat.

“In any case,” he says, “the quiz is clearly making the mistake of lumping the two together!”

“Now, now, Shinpachi,” Gintoki interrupts, back in that deliberately overemphasised, sagely, rather quite condescending tone, “it is merely your youth and inexperience with adult matters that make you think that way. You see, the office or workplace romance is the most intense and thrilling romantic experience the ordinary human will have in their measly lifetime. Therefore when a person takes on a job, they’re investing not just in their career and financial stability, but also in the promise of a lifetime partner. That’s what people mean when they talk about being married to work!”

“Gin-san, I don’t think that’s what that means at all, and anyway, you’ve never worked in an office or workplace with other people in your life!”

“You wound me, Patsuan. How do you think I got this far, CEO of my own business with one hundred percent employee loyalty at the prime young age of twenty-eight, if I didn’t have a lifetime of experience dealing with the intricacies of workplace liaisons, huh?”

“Gin-san, you have two underaged employees which I’m sure counts as child labour exploitation, and you never paid the registration fee for the business registration application. I’m pretty sure that the Yorozuya is technically an illegal operation.”

Immediately, Gintoki turns around and closes the window blinds. The room goes quiet as the possibly illegal boss and his two employees glance furtively around them to make sure they hadn't been overheard by any men in black suits who just happened to be creeping around for no reason other than the wacky slice-of-life genre specification.

“Oi, oi,” Gintoki says after a moment, with a shaky laugh, “don't joke about that, Shinpachi-kun. What kind of role model would we be to all our lovely viewers watching and reading us if they thought we were an illegal business? Sunrise would have our heads!”

“It's okay, Gin-chan,” Kagura goes to reassure him, “the only people watching this sketchy anime and reading its sketchy fanfiction are probably sketchy people themselves already.”

“That's right!” Shinpachi adds helpfully, though his neck still cranes around as if looking for hidden microphones and cameras. “Besides, even if we were illegal—which we're not!—then they would still know better than to waste their time coming after us. We're so poor, we wouldn't be able to pay the bail out money anyway! If anything, they should be targeting those multi mega corporations that do way more sketchy stuff! Like tax evasion!”

“And Amanto discrimination!” Kagura adds.

“And killing the environment!”

“And disrupting the view with their giant billboards!”

“And taking advantage of the working class to fuel their corrupt profits!” Shinpachi cries in heated passion, slapping his hand on the table.

“And increasing the price of pudding by ¥240 so Gin-san can only afford to have his sugar intake three times a week instead of four!” Gintoki joins.

“Um, Gin-san, that's not—"

“Down with capitalism!” Kagura cries, jumping back onto her couch and rising one fist into the air while her other hand still clutching the magazine waves it again like a great banner. “Come comrades! Let us take down the abominable bosses and factory managers who exploit the good-hearted working citizens!”

The magazine gets rolled up and becomes a baton which now points accusingly towards the Yorozuya boss. Gintoki looks to his left, and his right, and seeing no one on either side of him, points a finger to his own mug and mouths, “Who, me?”

“Rise up!” Kagura continues with her impassioned call, turning back to her audience of one. Shinpachi hears the call solemnly, eyes burning with the bright rage of workers’ rights. “Rise up and take down the evil corporations and greedy CEOs and business owners who use their money to hoard all the good things to themselves and never leave the sesame-flavoured subonku for the common folk!”

“Well if someone didn't spend all their money on monthly pork barbeque bun sales, they might have enough left over to buy sesame-flavoured subonku whenever the stores have them in stock!”

“But Gin-chan, two pork barbeque buns for the price of one!”

Shinpachi coughs delicately. “You have to admit, Gin-san, it is a very good deal.” Aside to himself, he mumbles, “they’ve saved me more times than I can count,” and hopes Tae never finds his stash of frozen pork barbeque buns he sneaks out at midnight when dark matter dinners prove too much for his stomach to handle.

“What are you two, video game characters who can only revive their health with pork barbeque buns?” Gintoki grouches, then leans back on his fake leather and plastic desk chair. “Ahhh, but really, society is scum. All those flashy, money-grabbing advertisements and media turning the free-thinking man into a mindless drone. Bah!”

“Well,” Shinpachi hedges, fidgeting with the Otsuu-chan NekoNeko double spread special open in front of him, “maybe it's not all so bad…”

“Eh? Don't tell me they've caught you already, Pachi-boy! Those sirens, always luring in the innocent cherry boys with their wily charms and pretty faces! Cover your ears, Shinpachi, before you drown!”

Shinpachi’s face turns bright red as it always does when reminded of his cherry-boy status, like soup that someone put beetroot in and left on the stove for too long so all the vegetables became a mushy red mess like a bloody murder scene like someone dropping a basket of actual ripe, red cherries.

“Like the bright flag of revolution!” Kagura adds to the overly extended and entirely nonsensical metaphor, waving her magazine again even though the front cover is yellow.

For all the embarrassing state of their being, the fantasies of cherry boys cannot be underestimated: in a split second, Shinpachi finds himself in the grip of a fervoured daydream where he's leading the pop idol revolution, Otsuu’s grateful, adoring eyes centred upon him from her Queen Idol throne made from glittery microphones and album awards, while he stands bearing her image and flag upon the conquered mountain of her rivals’ platinum albums and singles. Shaking himself free of this intoxicating dream takes truly the will of only the most stout-hearted and tenacious of samurai, but Shinpachi has always been deceptively strong, underestimated as he is by his otaku appearance.

“No, that's not what I meant!” he says vehemently, crossing his arms over his chest. “It has nothing to do with cherry boys, or rather, not only to do with cherry boys! Yes, the capitalist market may be a money-grabbing, exploitative, manipulative, marginalising machine"—he takes a deep breath here, having run out of air after his string of long, multisyllabic words—“but you can't deny that it's also given some people the chance to achieve their dreams, and in that way, helped inspire others too!” He gazes lovingly at his Otsuu spread, conveniently ignoring the headline to the side exclaiming, ‘Otsuu production company bankrupt?! Employee scandal!!’

“Ahhh,” Gintoki says in a bored, dry voice, “that was sure quick of you to swap sides there, Shinpachi. You went from glass half-empty to glass half-full in, what, less time than it takes for a teenage boy to hide his dirty magazines when his mum unexpectedly bursts through his bedroom door. What, you playing double glasses or something? Doubles G’s? Is that what you're into, Shinpachi?” Gintoki tuts, shaking his head. “Teenage boys are so greedy, always thinking more is better. No wonder they make such good prey for those dirty media companies. It's okay, Shinpachi, you'll learn, you'll learn.”

Shinpachi splutters, the thought of double G’s such a force against the foundations of his feeble cherry boy mind that he cannot pull out his defences. Taking advantage of the moment, Kagura jumps in with a question.

“What are you talking about, Gin-chan?” she says. “Shinpachi has always had two glasses. Like a pair of glasses! G. G.!”

She crooks her thumbs to her forefingers, touching the tips together so they make a pair of circles just the right size to peer out of, and presses them to her eyes. Somewhere in the distance, a group of broke university students break out into a flashmob, a chorus of ‘G’s and ‘baby’s rising up while a crowd of people just trying to reach the end of the street look on in confusion.

“Bless you,” Gintoki says, while Kagura continues to blink owlishly out of her literally hand-made glasses.

“My glasses look nothing like that,” Shinpachi complains to Kagura, because that is far safer than remaining in the grips of a Double-G dream. (Already he has had to discreetly wipe away the trickle of blood from his nose while Kagura and Gintoki were busy fooling around.)

“Of course not,” Gintoki reassures, “your glasses look like those cheap, mass-produced products that break and fail you right when you need them.”

“Well maybe if you actually paid us a living wage, I could afford brand glasses if mine offend your sensibilities so much!”

“For someone who’s only just over legal working age, you sure have high expectations!”

“You're not even paying me minimum wage, I could report you, you know!”

“Oh yeah? Report me to who? The boss?” Gintoki snorts, waving a dismissive hand.

Shinpachi’s nostrils flare, eyebrows drawing together in an angry line.

“I'll report you to… to… to the industry union!”

Gintoki laughs an evil, corporate laugh. “What industry union? The Odd Jobs union? Ha! Good luck with that! Even if one existed, it would never get anything done because its members would be too busy looking for odd jobs to make their daily living!”

Kagura’s eyes flash. “Pachi-boy, let's start a union!” she says, though what a fourteen year old alien would know about industry unions, the never-ending battle for workers’ rights, petitions, rallies, strikes and other various union organisation stuffs remains an unanswered question. Still, one couldn't fault her enthusiasm.

Unexpectedly, in utter abandonment of his straight man role, Shinpachi jumps onto the idea.

“Yes!” he says. “We can invite all the other Odd Jobs teams from the anime crossovers we have! ‘Odd Jobs’ is such a well known and overused trope, I'm sure there will be plenty who will want to join us!”

“The Odd Jobs industry revolution!” Kagura bellows, arms spread out wide like she’s presenting a magic trick. “Led by the Yorozuya!”

“O-Oi!” Suddenly faced with a revolution and overzealous employees, Gintoki has no idea what to do.

Luckily for him, right at that moment, the phone rings. Its noisy call goes on for two ring cycles, cutting through and silencing all conversation in the room, before Gintoki wipes out a hand to pick up the receiver. Suddenly Kagura and Shinpachi are pressed right up against his side, intense looks on their faces as they eavesdrop on the call, union revolution promptly forgotten at the prospect of a new job.

“Hello, you've reached Yorozuya Gin-chan, how may I help you? Yes, a job? Right now? You're desperate? Of course, of course, that's what the Yorozuya are here for! What exactly…? Yes. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, of course, yes.” As he listens to the job details, Gintoki catches the gaze of his employees and does a fist pump in the air. Kagura and Shinpachi grin at him and return the gesture. “...Yes, just leave it to us! We'll be down there before you can blink!”

With that, he hangs up the phone, pushes back his chair and stands, grabbing his bokutou and slipping it into his belt with a smooth motion.

“Alright, people!” he says, turning around to look down at Kagura and Shinpachi. “We've been called and now we got a job to do. Tell me: Are the Yorozuya ready to put their all, to go beyond, plus ultra—"

Shinpachi sighs; of course they couldn't get away without referencing another anime. He hopes at least with fanfiction’s grey legality, they won't be sued or have to cop another lecture about copyright laws from Sunrise.

“—to deliver the best Odd Jobs service to our dear and valuable clientele?”

“Yes!” comes the enthusiastic response, Kagura and Shinpachi standing with straight backs bearing their pride and excitement as a true Yorozuya member.

Gintoki cups his hand over his ear, leaning forward. “I said, are you ready?!”

“Yes!”

A short, approving nod. “Alright. Yorozuya Gin-chan, move out!”

#gintama #yorozuya #sakata gintoki #kagura #shimura shinpachi #my writing

[viollettes]

“Carnations” (Part 1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

many thanks to the effervescent @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! i love you, you colorful tropical fish with scales made of diamonds! x

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

“(Y/N), if you really don’t want to help, you can leave. It’s okay.”

You snap out of your involuntary trance, meeting the peeved eyes of the tall figure in front of you. Your eyelids rapidly close and open before you blankly mutter, “Huh?”

“Since we started setting up, you’ve sighed thirteen times, loudly scuffed your shoe against the floor seven times, and spaced out four times. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you don’t want to do this.”

It takes a lot to annoy actual angel Steve Rogers, but somehow you’ve accomplished just that in only five minutes. Sheepish guilt washes over you, and you quickly insist, “I’m so sorry. But I swear I want to help!”

“Are you sure? You look a little preoccupied, and I can also do this myself if something’s –“

“No, no, I want to help. I promise,” you firmly repeat. You furiously tape the banner to the table’s edges as if to show how determined you are to help. “I didn’t mean to be a drama queen and space out.” 

Steve tiredly rubs his palm against his face. “Is everything okay?” he asks. The concern in his voice makes the guilt expand in your lungs, compelling you to cast your eyes downwards.

When faced with a small deficit in the Student Government budget, Steve came up with the carnation sale. Students could order flowers –red for love, pink for friendship, and white for secret admiration– and cabinet members would deliver them to the recipients’ respective dorms.

When Steve ran this idea by you, you played your usual role of pessimist by pointing out no one would cough up money to send a carnation without the pressure that comes from holidays or significant others running high on anticipation. You weren’t surprised to hear that unlike you, the Student Government loved Steve’s idea and approved it right away.

Who could say no to Steve Rogers? There was a reason why the boy won the Student Government President seat by a landslide; he practically reeked of optimism and capability. Hell, Steve could suggest that the college should switch their mascot to a piece of rotten kale, and everyone would love the idea.

You regret agreeing to help him set up. Everything about the carnation sale takes you back to the similar flower fundraisers your high school did. Your breath still gets shallow when you recall being the only person in fourth period that didn’t get a flower delivered to them. The sympathetic or amused looks shot your way only heightened the embarrassment and desire to shrivel up into a particle of nothing. It annoys you that it still affects you in college, but what can you do? The heart holds grudges out of fear and trepidation.

So in a way, Steve is responsible for your slight anxiety. Thanks a lot, Steve.

“(Y/N)?”

This is the fifth time you’ve spaced out. Good going, (Y/N). “Sorry, I got distracted by the thought of lunch,” you fib.

“East Dining Hall has shawarma and baos today. Interesting combo, but I’ll eat just about any – Hey! Bucky! Over here!”

Your heart starts to channel its inner Usain Bolt at the sound of the approaching footfalls. The thumping of rushing blood amplifies in your ears, and your brain ricochets around for an exit strategy. Without thinking, you quickly duck under the folding table.

“’Sup, punk? Ah... (Y/N)? Doll? What are you doing underneath the table?”

And that’s when you realize there isn’t a tablecloth to shield you from your crush, who also happens to be your best friend.

Bucky lowers himself onto a knee, ducking his head underneath the table to meet your eyes. The brilliance of his blue eyes is enough to make you want to fan the heat quelling up your face. You offer him a weak smile. “Oh, uh, I thought I saw a quarter on the floor. Gotta save up that money to pay off my loans, ya know?”

Smooth. So smooth.

If the brunette senses your desire to smack your head against the ground, he doesn’t show any sign of it. Instead, Bucky chuckles and outstretches his hand. “Come on, doll,” he lightly encourages.

You take his hand and push yourself off the ground. He slings an arm around your shoulder, the contact enough to get your heart racing again. You wonder if he knows how much of an effect he has on you.

Completely oblivious to your inner emotional turmoil, Bucky asks, “What’s going on? Looks like you’re setting up for something.”

“If you paid attention to what I told you last week, you’d know that Student Gov is holding a carnation sale,” Steve says. He jokingly sends a threatening look at the brunette. “You’re going to contribute by buying one, right?”

Bucky shrugs, the movement jostling you closer to his side. Your face flushes as it grazes his winged lateral muscles – my God, your best friend is fit. It’s physically impossible to combust into flames, but you sidestep out of Bucky’s hold just in case the laws of physics and biology decide to go rogue. An odd look resting on his face, Bucky’s about to say something to you, but Steve’s waiting gaze deters him. “Um, I don’t know? I guess?”

“What do you mean ‘I guess?’ Remember when you said you’d support all of my actions as President? It’s time to walk the talk, jerk. ”

Bucky holds up his hands in mock-surrender. He glances at you for backup, but you’ve busied yourself by arranging the sample carnations while trying to push down your secret feelings for your best friend. Pretending everything was platonic and peachy makes your stomach twist, but you prefer that stress over risking the friendship and losing Bucky in the process.

Yes, you’re a chicken and will probably take this secret to the grave, but it doesn’t stop you from secretly wishing that one day Bucky will realize you two are meant to be.

Hey, a girl can dream.

“I don’t care if you send it to a buddy as a joke. Just support the cause, man. Hell, I might send a few flowers as a prank.” Much to your amusement, Steve starts to ramble about the pranks Bucky could pull on his roommate Sam through the flower sale.

“You know what…” Bucky’s warm brown gaze falls onto you. His full lips curve into a smile, catalyzing a mild flutter in your chest. Without breaking eye contact with you, he continues, “I think I’ll buy a carnation or two.”

Holy crap, what if Bucky sends you a carnation?

The thought crosses your mind so suddenly that you nearly knock over a cardboard box. The carnation sale brings up a lot of ugly memories, but at the same time, all you want is for Bucky to return your feelings.

Fear of rejection is powerful enough to keep your secret feelings airtight. But what if this is one of those rom-com situations where magical things result from a random action? What if a carnation is the stimulus that catalyzes a romantic relationship? What if -

“(Y/N)?”

Ah shit, you spaced out again. “Yeah, Steve? Do you need something?”

“I was wondering if you could go to the Student Gov office and bring our cash box, but I can –”

Oh no, you need to get out of here before you do something stupid. “No! I’ll go! Do you need anything else from the office?”

“No, we just need a cash box.”

“Got it. I’ll be back!” You dash off, wishing it were possible to outrun your thoughts. Though you know it most likely won’t happen, the slightest inkling of Bucky buying you a carnation drives you insane.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!”

Fuck. Why did he have to follow?

You slow your sprint into a walk, your heart racing again when Bucky casually flops an arm around your shoulder. You hate how uncomfortable you feel around him. Bucky isn’t just a stupid crush – he’s the person you trust your life with. This is the guy who witnessed all of your victories and growing pains, and vice versa. You know practically every detail of his life and all of his quirks that normally would be a turn-off to girls.

God damn it, you have a crush on the guy who went through a phase of only using “Shrek” quotes to communicate with people.

“Alright doll, talk to me.” Bucky pauses until you turn your head onto his direction. “What’s really on your mind?” You let out a strangled murmur, prompting him to gently knock his shoulder into yours. “(Y/N), I’ve known you for my entire life. I know something’s up just by the look on your face. Let me do my best friend duties by listening and help you in any way possible.”

“Nothing’s bothering – Okay, fine,” you begrudgingly admit, his knowing look wearing you down. “Remember what happened at my high school every Valentine’s Day? The flower sale?”

Understanding flashes onto the brunette’s face. The arm around your shoulder grows protectively tighter and his look of concern grows dark. Although he went to a different high school, Bucky knows how much of a hit your self-esteem took after every Valentine’s Day. Hell, how could he not when he was the one who always found you at the park in muffled tears?

“I know it’s probably going to be different,” you continue. “This is college, and Steve added a flower option for friendship, which my high school didn’t do. But…” You angrily fist the hem of your shirt into a ball. “I hate that I’m still affected by something so dumb.”

“It’s not dumb. The people at your high school were shitheads. How they didn’t understand how amazing and brilliant you are is beyond me,” Bucky ferociously counters. “Any decent person would have sent a shitload of flowers your way. I know I would have!”

The fluttering butterflies are momentarily replaced with a wave of warm appreciation for your best friend. You know he’s saying this to make you feel better, but it still succeeds in making you feel better. “Thanks, Bucky,” you noncommittally shrug.

Bucky abruptly halts in his tracks and grabs the sides of your arms, whirling you around so you face him directly. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“What?”

“(Y/N), you...” A sigh escapes his lips in a defeated manner. “If only you could see what I see.”

Words like this ignite the candle of hope in your heart that you have burning for Bucky. Maybe you’ve watched too many rom-com movies, but words like this have a heavier purpose than simply lifting one’s mood.

“Thanks, Buck. That really means a lot to me.”

“Hey,” he grins. “I’ve always got your back. You’re my best friend,” he emphasizes.

And like that, a cold gust blows out the candle of hope, and your shoulders fall with a slump. Of course, he only sees you as a friend. You’re just idiotic enough to jump on a morsel of hope and create an entire fantasy from it.

It bothers you how hurt you feel by this revelation, so you do what you do best – suppress all of the feelings bubbling up your body. You vow to stop being a lovesick puppy and move on from your feelings for Bucky. If it wasn’t going to happen, why bother waste time and dwell?

So imagine your unfiltered surprise when in a week or so, you receive a delivery of a dozen white carnations with a letter “B” signed on the card.

Part 2

@buckyywiththegoodhair @bovaria @abovethesmokestacks @sebbytrash @brighterlights @beccaanne814-blog @jurassicbarnes @avengerofyourheart @cleanslates @corruptedlungsandblackwings @fandomlifeuniverse @themcuhasruinedme @hellomissmabel @pleasecallmecaptain @captainpunk @sebstanwassup @latenightbooknerd @debzybrazy @cami23593 @mynamespaigex @redgillan @alivingfanlady @queen--valeskaxx @softcorehippos @feelmyroarrrr @elyza-jeanette @addictionmarvel @piratecaptain-ducky @taylorjacksonandtheolympians @netflixa @latenitetacos @ideallywinter

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #modern!bucky #modern!au #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky barnes au #bucky imagine #viollettes #viollettes writes

[marrowskies]

that post i promise is here

and it’s long

imo you can see moffat's failings even in the episodes he's hailed for. like okay so one of the things is that in empty child everybody lives, but the everybody lives thing gets twisted as the show continued under him because... well... he's the doctor! everybody lives!

EVERYBODY.

LIVES.

EVERY. BODY.

THE time lords? his entire race dead to separate it from the original show in a definable story driven way that elaborates on an aspect that the doctor always had? terrible decisions he's had to make for the sake of good, even though he dislikes making horrible decisions that kill people????????????????????????? WHICH MAKES THE DECISION REALLY BAD???????????????????????????????????? AND DIFFICULT?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

fuck that shit the doctor is awesome! everybody lives!

"JUST THIS ONCE?"

HOW ABOUT JUST THIS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME EVEN IN RETROSPECT BECAUSE FUCK YOU. I WANT THE DOCTOR TO BE AN INFALLIBLE MESSIANIC PIECE OF SHITTY WRITING but not in like an interesting but flawed way that RTD always tried to do even if he didn't always succeed but at least messianic bullshit was presented as a FUCKING FLAW and not just another DOCTOR IS AWESOME HIS FLAW IS JUST THAT HE IS TOO AWESOME ALL THE TIME

LIKE okay so I've seen that post going around that's like HAHA LOL NUWHO FANS DON'T KNOW THAT THE DOCTOR WAS ALWAYS MORALLY AMBIGUOUS BECAUSE IN THE FIRST EPISODE HE NEARLY KILLED THAT ONE GUY WITH A ROCK BECA-FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK OFFFF

that scene is so poorly indicative of what the doctor's character would become that it's been post-explained TWICE in TWO DIFFERENT FORMATS OF THE SHOW. YES the doctor can be morally ambiguous YES he has done horrible things and HE WILL GO ON TO DO HORRIBLE THINGS EVEN IN CLASSIC!WHO - but that is typically, for the rest of the show's existence, brought up as a THING HE'S GOTTA DEAL WITH, not some bullshit as "but he knows best" fuckery. the way that the Eight Doctors deals with it isn't half bad, actually, considering he basically confronts his younger self as a cocky "i know best" kind of idiot who hasn't had the 7 lifetimes to understand that it's not the right thing to do (especially when by now we understand that he's been living on an entire planet of "snarf snarf we're the best and lower lifeforms are primitive and pointless" assholes)

this argument also bothered me because OF COURSE nu!who fans would think this! there are lines all over the series indicating how awesomely badass the doctor is, how wonderful, how amazing, how just so fantastically remarkably brilliant and good he is to the point that MOFFAT RETROACTIVELY REWROTE THE FOUNDATION OF THE REBIRTH OF DOCTOR WHO ON THE SIMPLE INSISTENCE THAT THE DOCTOR WOULD NOT DO A BAD THING. of COURSE there are people confused about the mixed messages the show is giving them! is he an infallibly good awesome messiah? IS he MAYBE perhaps SOMETIMES BAD? oh, let me just HINT AT THAT A FEW TIMES but OVERALL NAH! HE GOOD! good is always a real, quantifiable thing that you are, and difficult decisions are... never difficult! because there's always a good one!

moffat's ALWAYS been like this! even in empty child i will argue! even in blink!

blink and empty child are often bandied about imo as "when moffat was good" and the video makes a point about how moffat is good in small doses, but empty child and blink are recycled so constantly that you realize that moffat's shit stank from the beginning much in the way that s4 sherlock reflects how sherlock has always been shit. empty child's premise worked because it was out of context with moffat's overall writing - how everyone ALWAYS lives, how women are ALWAYS WRITTEN through his perspective.

blink is so caught up in its obsession in being a cool thing for cool people that it shits on its own premise eventually. that becomes more clear when moffat brings it back constantly. but it's still pretty evident in that episode alone

"you can't look away from the angels because that's when they move"

"well we've figured it out! so we'll keep an eye on them now!!!!"

"well you can't because they can turn lights off for no reason!"

"what? why?"

"because FUCK YOU IS WHY also there would be no tension going into this final scene if i didn't make some bullshit up to make your solution pointless but anyway let me also ruin this two seasons from now by letting you see US MOVE"

blink's premise is fucked just mildly enough that we can ignore it and then because moffat has been squeezed of what creative juice he had left and then fucked it up some more, but more flashily! with budget! and guns!

god and his stupid fucking "crying is happy for sad people" just fuck entirely off moffat, yes? keep the preteen "i'm sad because i'm emotional and deep" shit to your 40 year old journal you keep up to date on how misunderstood and genius you are.

i haven't even gotten to the fact that sherlock isn't even sad or validated when moriarty dies. he isn't like well that fuckhead who was fucking with me is dead but at least crime is over. the video doesn't even go into a core aspect of sherlock holmes which is that he solves crimes because he wants crimes solved. that he maybe solves this stuff in particular because he cares about people and dislikes bad things because he’s a person, even if he does morally ambiguous things for the sake of a mystery. one of holmes’ enduring traits is supposed to be THAT HE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE. that he wants murder to have justice, that he wants a thief to be caught, and if he didn’t want those fucking things he wouldn’t solve crimes, he’d be fuckin mycroft. THAT’S BASICALLY LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF MYCROFT AS A CHARACTER, TO SHOW WHAT SHERLOCK WOULD BE IF HE WAS AN MISANTHROPIC PIECE OF INCONSIDERATE SHIT, holing himself up in an intellectual elite club full of uncaring shits who work in underground politics i mean i know that gets sort of elaborated on later on but CHRIST sherlock!sherlock would fit right fucking in at diogenes, except it wouldn’t be silent because he’d constantly need people to tell him how fucking smart he is all the fucking time

i'm so sick of this character on a fundamental level because moffat isn't the only one who does this - yes he's the one who has unfortunately laid waste to my current enjoyment of two of my favorite stories - and for those of you who counter often with "well you don't have to watch it" - you're right. I don't. and i've honestly never given Sherlock the time of day past its bullshit Orientalist episode, but as a fan of Holmes it is literally impossible to say that name without people pouncing in with how awesome Sherlock is. it's impossible to talk about Doctor Who without someone talking about the more recent season. DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE HOW UNAVOIDABLE.

Moffat as a writer has always capitalized on a particular archetype, the misanthropic genius. the misanthropy can be on a scale, but the genius part is paramount. the misanthropy adds a mystery to the character - because he doesn't LIKE people, his inner machinations lay undetect, but this can be done through various means. sometimes it's just done through being so sheer genius that they cannot be understood, like sherlock-archetypes almost always are, or they're so WACKY that they cannot be understood. whatever the case is, they're sometimes unlikeable, and are paired with people who don't UNDERSTAND them, but *understand* that they are so brilliant that they cannot be understood and therefore put up with whatever shit bullshittery they might be going through. (usually they're queerbaited because that character tends to be male)

here are some examples i can think off the top of my head: kingkiller chronicles, big bang theory, pure genius, dirk gently as written by douchebag mcfuckface Max Landis, frankenstein as written by douchebag mcfuckface Max Landis, most main male characters in stuff written by douchebag mcfuckface Max Landis, stargate atlantis (shared by mckay and shepard), basically every single adaptation of Holmes that didn't understand the fucking point (including house), arguably Elementary too tho that's actually dealt with in the show as a real tangible character flaw, Ender's Game, honestly as much as I love LeGuin - Wizard at Earthsea, and Catcher in the Rye to be honest, and... and... god what was that show about the guy who takes a FUCKING PILL TO BE SMART? (looked it up: Limitless), Will in Hannibal, APB WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT WAS?, HONESTLY JAKE FROM BROOKLYN 99 ALSO TOES THE LINE FOR ME especially in the early seasons but Jake is a NICE. BOY. AND christ the list goes ON and it NEVER ENDS WE ARE STILL WRITING THIS STUPID FUCKING CHARACTER.

this. shitty. character. a deep, philosophical, genius so beyond our normal human being's conception that they don't have to be nice to be liked. they just have to be smart. beyond smart. amazingly, stunningly, inconceivably smart. so smart that even their bad thing is a good thing. even their bad decisions turn out to be good ones, and their flaw is some manufactured bullshit like drugs! (House) or unfairly poor! (Kingkiller) or possibly autistic! (bbt). none of these aren't real, actual that real people have to deal with, of course, but they're USED in these cases to artificially insert a character "flaw." (and being an addict or poor or autistic isn't a fucking flaw! fucking stop it!!!!) the ultimate male wish-fulfillment character. don't require physical attractiveness or humor or charm or kindness or money. just smarts. then the women will love you!

this character has been around for so fucking long in media i feel like we've been tricked into thinking it's a good character. it's in so many well known classic things because shitheads like moffat and joss whedon and max landis and patrick rothfuss have been around forever, perpetuating their own bullshit since forever and i'm fucking sick of it. it's the writing equivalent of a white guy with acoustic guitar. a lazy, self-serving piece of writing that only serves to help the writer put his head up his own ass in an attempt to outwit himself with the most uninteresting archetype that exists. this is worse to me than the DREADED Mary Sue, because Mary Sues don't tend to be FUCKING ASSHOLES that people LOVE ANYWAY. They're just blank slates for people and that's FINE. everyone needs that at some point in their life! DO WE NEED MORE WHITE GUYS BEING AMAZING GENIUSES BUT WACKY ASSHOLES BUT SO GENIUS THAT EVERYONE LOVES THEM???? DO WE? DO WE NEED TO PERPETUATE THIS EXHAUSTING PERCEPTION THAT BEING RIGHT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING KIND????????

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

#moffat hate #burning burning hate

[oosteven-universe]

Offbeats #2

Offbeats #2 Antarctic Press 2019 Created by Tom Sacchi & John Ward Written by John Ward Illustrated by Giles Crawford Coloured by By Dan Thompson Lettered by Henry Barajas     Booker and Jim rescue a missing dancer, but end up being betrayed. The cops hand Jim over to a local mob boss who offers to free him in exchange for betraying Booker-who mounts a daring raid to rescue his new friend.      I am a huge fan of this book. It has this throwback feel to the days when Noir was the happening thing. Mix in the musicians and the clubs and it all just has this absolutely right tone and feel to it. Then what the boys do is infuse humour into this making it something that feels dangerous but at the same time makes you giggle because of our “out of their depth” pair of would be rescuers. There is so much of this that has those moments where you shake your head while grinning because you know it’s the right thing to do. You might not even realise your doing it either and that’s even better.     The way that this is structured is extremely nice to see. It has a very smooth ebb & flow to the way we see information revealed as the boys traverse the pages. How action is woven through and this insanely good characterisation helps move the story forward is such a true delight to see. Sometimes we find a story that just seems to fall into place like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle and you just cannot stop until it’s complete. This is a story like that and it just has this effect upon the reader where it all ends up being some of the most you can have.      How we see the story unfold and the path the boys take is great. The orchestration of the events we see is something to behold I gotta say. When we see the girls and how they are drawn into the proceedings well you’ll have to read this to believe it but it screams planning and execution and all kinds of shit that I didn’t think would happen in the order I which they did. I mean this local mob boss I got mad respect for this little shithead I will say that. Ooh child my tongue just got loose then again this isn’t exactly an all-ages book thanks to the subject matter and well this is me getting into it.     The interiors here are simply charming and the fact that Giles style seems to simple makes this even more impressive. After all if you are going to do simple then it damn well better be impeccable and Boy George it is. We get facial expressions, feelings and emotions out this that last for days. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show off a stellar eye for storytelling. The way that the composition of the panels is done is sensational with how backgrounds are utilised or not and just the overall effect each one has on the reader. The colour work is not what you’d expect to see. There is some beautiful shading within the colour blocking that highlights just the right features. ​     Every step along the way of the journey that we accompany Jim and Booker on is full of twists and turns with each turn of the page. That we can feel so connected with them and relate to the wounds and frustrations they encounter is just an added bonus. The story & plot development with this pacing and the characterisation along with these wonderful interiors this is just another reason why I am such an advocate of Antarctic Press and the creators whose work we see. The future of comics isn’t the stagnate repetitive cycle the larger ones have it’s here at the smaller press companies where talent is allowed and encouraged to grow, blossom and be the best it can be.

#comic books #comics reviews #antarctic press #tom sacchi #john ward #giles crawford

[ashigecross]

Ok Listen up dummies

...I’m way too lazy for this shit and I was gonna drop it, but since people like being real bold just because it’s the internet I gotta explain why it’s not ok to act like people are lying about this Vic Mignogna thing. And keep in mind, I STARTED THIS THINKING HE WAS INNOCENT. So maybe try to think about things for once, idk. Anyway, first point. Some people have had good experiences with Vic at cons and panels and so forth and they think he’s a good, caring, nice guy. That’s valid, I’ve seen plenty of videos showing Vic is a generally nice guy. Nobody was denying that he cares about his fans and wants people happy. However if all the people who did bad shit to people were mustache twirling tv villains nobody would ever have anything bad happen because we’d be able to spot the creeps on sight. As much as it may suck, Vic Mignogna talking you through a panic attack at a con doesn’t mean he didn’t go to another spot in that con and make someone uncomfortable. Secondly, the other VAs. Now like I said I’m lazy. I was gonna use btva to show that Monica Rial and Chris Sabat don’t have anything to gain from “sabotaging” Vic’s career. Unfortunately Vic is more popular than them on the site, but that doesn’t really mean anything outside of his page getting more clicks. I’m still fairly confident they both make more money than Vic, and it’s not like any roles Vic loses are ones they could play anyway. There’s Nothing for them to gain from harming Vic’s career so why would they?

and oh look, who’s that, Jamie Marchi? Y’all know who Jamie Marchi is?

the second most popular VA of all time so she has even less reason to lie because she outranks Vic even in the public eye. The person who got me to feel the need to put this out had some idiocy up about how Vic is “innocent until proven guilty” and how there’s no “physical evidence” so Vic should be off the hook. Well first of all, nobody is taking Vic to jail. Innocent until proven guilty is for legal action like arrests or fines or court intervention. Secondly, Vic isn’t being called a rapist. the allegations are for harassment, as in inappropriate comments and touching. WHICH DON’T LEAVE TRACEABLE EVIDENCE.  Nobody is out here saying Vic is some evil monster who raped half of the women at Funimation. They’re saying he’s a creep who does inappropriate stuff around the office and makes them uncomfortable either with his words or unwanted touching.  He’s still a rich, famous actor. Y’all don’t have to defend him whether he’s guilty or not because as it stands he’s still gonna be rich. he just won’t be in many new things. And, I’m sure you already know this last bit, but it takes a lot of courage for victims of this kind of thing to come forward and constantly acting like every case is just someone lying to ruin a career is extremely harmful to the victims, who came forward scared of the vary reactions they get from the toxic shitheads who think Vic doing good shit means he never did anything wrong.  Plus, since I was about to forget. One of the idiots said Monica must be lying because she only had good things to say about Vic before all this. Only if you can read, Monica says in her twitter thread that she forgave Vic because she thought it was an isolated incident and he only did it to her. Which means she had no reason to speak out because she thought the issue was resolved.

#vic mignogna #I'm way too lazy for this shit #vicstans need to think about things for real #everyone liked vic #I liked Vic #but if he does messed up shit then he deserves the same punishment as everyone else #and he's not even getting that by virtue of being rich #so fuck off

[nofearbts-blog]

PROLOGUE.

Before The Biggest Fuck Up

There were seven of us. A gang of prideful bastards you could say; all bonded by experiences – not by blood. Of course, we all have a story as to how we ended up in our little tight circle of ours, however, I’d rather not go into detail with that because well, I don’t give a fuck about any of them anymore. I say that without batting an eyelash. I say it from the deepest and darkest pits of my black little heart. Why? Why – It’s a long story. Long enough that I could possibly tell it for the rest of my life time. Those fucking shitheads are so obsessed with loyalty and wanting to be in each other’s presence that they’d rather not live their own fucking lives and that’s how we got to this fucking point. It was all my fault for being so oblivious and blinded by all the messy shit we got into. I couldn’t have been the only one, right? The only one who wanted to take a break, kick back, have a girl in my arms and possibly settle down. I couldn’t have been the only one. I was wrong. I <i>was</i> the only one. I was – weak. I let my guard down and because of that, I lost someone I loved so dear to me. I lost her, my other half, my soulmate. Amidst all the chaos, amidst all the blood and the ear aching screams, she was the one I laid eyes on – the one I fought to hell and back first and then the one I fell in love with.

It all sounds like a bunch of rubbish, and perhaps it was, but this is exactly how it happened. We were enemies, and for some reason, I always hesitated in killing her. I didn’t find join in wanting to kill her like I did with all the other poor bastards I slaughtered in the past. Perhaps it was her eyes, or her lips, or maybe the way she moved, the way she touched, the way she talked and held onto me. She was the first person to show me how to be human, how to feel, and how express my emotions the right way – without killing anyone. No one else had this effect on me the way she did, and I adored her so fucking much for that. The closer we grew, the more irritated the group appeared to be. Eventually, all six of them found out about us and they were against it completely, in fact, they resented it, almost forbade it. I didn’t understand why, it was my chance in life to be happy for once and they were trying to take that away from me. I wasn’t going to let them ruin my chances with her. I didn’t allow it, there was no chance in hell that they would make me choose them over her. If anything, I wanted them to be happy for me for moving onto the next chapter in my life.

But, obviously, that wasn’t the case.

“No! Fuck you, I’m not going to do that, you fucking sick fuck.” I growled under my breath, my fists clenching tightly and my knuckles turning white as snow. I remember, there were hot tears welling in my eyes and my hands becoming numb by how hard I was squeezing them shut. Swallowing thickly, I watched them all snicker under their breath, eyeing each other with the evilest of glints that I, myself, have never seen before. “Zeus, you ARE going to do it. You can, and you will. You are capable. You’re a killing machine, don’t forget that.” Hades stated. Hades was a code name that belong to Kim Namjoon, which happened to be the pinnacle of the group. The leader, the boss. Anything he says, goes. Most of the time – all the time. “No – No. You’re not taking this away from me. I love her, Namjoon! For once, I have a second chance at living a normal life with the woman I love. I want to be with her, I want to live with her. For fuck sake, Namjoon! I want to marry the girl and have kids with her. Why can’t you just accept that?” I knew that this time, there was no getting out. Just like the first time we all inducted ourselves into the group. Once you were in, you could never get back out. I should’ve remembered that. I should’ve, but I didn’t. His eyes turned dark and his expression fell somewhat slack and blank. Perhaps it was the fact that I called him by his real name or the fact that I was standing up for myself against him when no one else could. Yes, even the others were afraid of him.

I watch him stand and for a second there, I faltered and took a small step backward. There was sweat beginning to form along my forehead and he walked closed and closer til’ he was looking down at me completely. I could hear the calmness of his heartbeat, and his slow, peaceful breathing fanning over me. The silence was deafening and finally, he smirked and lets out a small snort from his nose. “Fine, Taehyung. You win.” He said and the rest of them including myself went wide eyed. I – won? “You are no longer apart of his group, in fact, the longer you stand in front of me, the more I want to put my hands on you and slit your throat.” His voice was heavy, and each word was venomous that it was making me queasy. “Leave.” With that, I nodded my head and quickly darted out of there. For all I knew, that was the end of it. My ties were severed, and I was free. Deep down, I thank Namjoon but a small part of me wondered why he let me go so easily. I misunderstood and thought he had a heart in him.

He didn’t.

I remember running and running, smiling and laughing to myself. To the people that I ran passed, they probably thought I was a mental patient who escaped the mental hospital. Well, it wasn’t that far off. What I had gone through messed me up fucking bad, but not as bad as those six fuckers that I left behind. She waited for me at her place where I constantly kept visiting and I guess you could say, where I lived. There she was, sitting on the couch reading a book and she looked so fucking ethereal that it took my breath away. She always had that affect one me, always bringing me to my knees, knocking the wind out of my body. I was the luckiest man on earth, I really was. That same night, we planned to get away, as far away as we possibly can. I had this gut wrenching feeling about staying where we were that I bugged her constantly telling her we should re-locate. Eventually she gave in, no matter how much she loved being there at her own home, she gave in.

I left for a moment, to tend to some financial issues with the bank. I wanted to withdraw all the money I had in my account, so I could live off the grid for a while. It was only a moment – a moment that would forever haunt me to this day. My phone had rung, and I didn’t pick it up the first time because I was speaking to an accountant. The second time around, I was able to answer it and I could hear was her panting and sobbing painfully into the phone. She sounded scared, terrified. She wasn’t like this, she was a killer like me, she was strong like me – maybe even stronger. To hear her that way made my blood turn cold and my throat close. Her voice seemed hoarse, almost like it wasn’t her, but it was. We both didn’t say anything, maybe because we were both equally shocked but when I heard that dark cackle on her side I felt something bubble up within me that I have never felt before in my life. No. No. I don’t remember what happened much next, but I ran as fast as I could out of the bank, down the sidewalk and to the apartment we lived in. I nearly tripped on the stairs heading there and when I came to a halt at the front door of her house, our house, the door was nearly off its hinges. I could hear her whimpering in the living room and at that point I didn’t care if I was going to get hurt, I didn’t want HER to get HURT. Everything was tossed around, like a tornado had come through. I panted heavily, my chest hurt, and my throat was dry. My brows furrowed deeply as I glanced at the six men in the living room.

Finally, I let my vision fall and there she was, placed on her knees with her hands tied behind her back with a belt and her face blue and purple, swollen from the beatings she must’ve gone through while he was gone. It was only a moment, a moment that felt like a few minutes and during that small amount of time, she was hurt, she was hurt badly. For the first time, I felt tears running down my face and I looked up at Namjoon who held his silver pistol against his chest, tapping it gently. The others surrounded him, hands in their pockets and smirks adoring their faces. How dare they. “Zeus, you’re back! That was quicker than what I expected. I guess she really does mean a lot to you, huh?” It took a lot in me to not latch out and wrap my fingers around his throat. He began to walk slowly around her and over towards me. He continued to tap his gun against his chest rather calmly and soothingly. His eyes were down at the ground and that ugly, god forsaken smirk never left his face. “You know, when we all created our little gang we had a code, a law, a promise to abide by.” He started, and I could feel my toes and feet starting to lose feeling. “We all made a sacrifice, Zeus. We all promised each other we’d never stray away and that we’d stay together.” He continued, and I raised my hands slowly into my pocket where I had my pocket knife. Suddenly, there was a quick movement from Krato (Jeon Jungkook). He brought out his gun smoothly and fast, cocking it against my temple. “Uh-uh! Not so fast.” I could hear him cackling through his lips, Namjoon looked over and he let out a loud chuckle. “…and you’re willing to kill me over this – piece of human trash? You gotta be kidding me, Zeus. You can do better than that.” He continued to roar with laughter, no standing to the right of me, between me and my girl.

All this time, she had her head hung low. Sobbing quietly, sniffling here and there, she not once, looked up at me, was she ashamed? Did she feel ashamed? I would’ve been, if I was her. “Frankly Zeus, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you know better than any of us that you could never get out what we created together.” Straightening out his arm, he held his gun to her head. I gasped and nearly stumbled forward to protect her, but Krato had grabbed a hold of my neck, kicking me behind the knee, bringing me down to her level. “Hades, Namjoon, please. Please, don’t hurt her! I’ll come back, okay? I’ll come back, just don’t fucking touch her! Don’t FUCKING TOUCH HER!” I yelled as loud as I possibly could, to get it through his thick skull that I said what I meant. I would come back, only if he didn’t hurt her. She panted and looked at me with those round doe shaped eyes. Even though she was badly bruised, she was still beautiful to me. I wanted to be with her, we were going to get married, buy land, buy a house, and possibly have kids. I wanted all of that with her. “I’m gonna let you choose, Zeus. Alright, buddy? Do you want to be with this girl? Or do you want to stand beside us once again? You can only choose one.” My heart thumped hard against my chest and he looked at me, biting his inner cheek, brows furrowing. All the other men looked down at me, waiting for the right answer to come pouring out of my mouth. I knew what I wanted, but If I were to choose her, he would get mad and do the worst. I don’t know what he would do, but I know somewhere in my heart that he would never actually kill someone that I loved with all my entire being. I began to pant heavily, beads of sweat falling against the side of my forehead. For a second, I could’ve swore I saw her smile sadly. It was so small, but I saw it. What was she trying to say? No. No. I wasn’t going to let her go so easily. “I want to be with her, but I also want to stand beside you guys! Please, Namjoon!” his name reverberated against the living room walls and for a second, everything seemed to fall silent again. He stood up straighter and tilted his head in feigning in thought. “Wrong answer, dude.” He muttered under his breath as he cocked his gun against her head and pulled the trigger.

BANG!

The ringing from the gun was so loud that I couldn’t hear a single thing, but I saw it all. The blood that splattered all over me and the walls. The way her body fell to her side so limply and lifelessly. Her smile remained but had no feeling behind it, her once starry like eyes was dull. I remembered I couldn’t breathe for the first 30 seconds. My eyes were wide, and my hands trembled violently. Slowly, I reached out to touch her and when I did, she didn’t move. I shook her once, nothing, now I was shaking her with all the strength I had and – nothing. Tears poured down my face easily and fell onto her cheek and neck. Her blood stained my clothes, my skin, I wanted it off. The scent was revolting, and though I had killed people before, the smell of blood never bothered me to this extent before, maybe because it was her blood. I felt my veins rising from my skin a bit, my eyes turning to slits and hatred, pure hatred filling my body. “You k-killed her.” Namjoon chuckled and stuffed his gun into his pocket. “Yeah, I did. God, that was riveting!” I shook my head slightly and stood up slowly before reaching into my pocket and whips out my knife. I lurched forward to stab him, to tear him up into bits but before I could lay my hands on him, all six men drew out their guns and shot me 4 times. One in the arm, another in my thigh and three into my chest. It burned, I couldn’t feel the pain around my bullets, but it burned a hell of a lot. I fell to the ground, on my knees first then to my side, next to the dead love of my life. I gazed into her still open dull eyes and tried to tell her that I loved her. I tried to reach out and pull her to me, but I couldn’t move a single thing. It was only then I felt myself feeling weaker and weaker, weightless and cold. I heard the six devils speaking among themselves, but it was all an underwater muffle. That’s when everything went dark and black.

Sad to say, I wish I was dead but for some reason, the prick that lives upstairs decided to give me a second chance at life, and he gave it to me for a reason.

The funny thing is, they don’t even know I’m alive.

[ryanonwrasslin-blog]

The Wrestling Optimist - March 16, 2017

Welcome to my weekly, mostly optimistic, look at the wonderful world of professional wrestling. This came about because I’m working my hardest to stop being such a miserable smark, and this column is my best effort at both keeping myself honest and funneling out the various thoughts I have on wrestling. For the most part, this will be a WWE-themed piece every week, and it’s still evolving, but for now I think I’ve found a solid format. I urge you to join me in being a happier wrestling fan, whatever that may mean to you!

Theme of the Week All of the authority figures on the main roster are TERRIBLE at their jobs

In some ways, this is all Vince McMahon's fault. The standard for manipulative, overbearing authority figures was set with Vince vs. Stone Cold, and ever since then WWE has been trying to recapture that magic, forever sticking to the idea of pitting the authority figure against one or more of the top wrestlers on the show, and usually shuffling them around the card like they do with other feuding superstars. They even go so far as to feud face authority figures against heel wrestlers, which is SUPER tricky to do and rarely ever works well except to make the heel look like the face.

But let's stick to kayfabe for a moment. On Raw this week, Stephanie McMahon, rather than devote her time and energy toward building to Wrestlemania and making sure that Raw actually, you know, is watchable for a change, tells Mick Foley that he has to fire one superstar. Mick, rightfully, is like, "Da Fuck?" and points out that, again, THEY ARE THREE WEEKS FROM WRESTLEMANIA and this is not an ideal time to fire anyone. She insists and he wanders around backstage in a daze for the next two and a half hours. And at the end of the night, after reviewing a roster that includes Curtis Axel, R-Truth, Primo, Epico, Sin Cara, Titus O'Neil, and like 4 cruiserweights I wouldn't recognize if they hit me with their finisher, tells Steph that SHE'S the one who he's firing.

Homie, if you were gonna go the self-sabotage route, why not fire like Cesaro or Sami Zayn so that Smackdown could sign one of them and they'd be free from the plodding march toward permanent mid-card status that is their career on Raw? That actually would have popped me and gotten me interested in the direction they were going with a story. But no, Foley "fires" Steph, which shortly summons Triple H, who does all but fire Mick, which was whatever, eats a Sock-O for his trouble and then "re-injures" or whatever a returning Seth Rollins, you know, one of their biggest superstars, THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE MANIA OF WRESTLING.

Alright, everyone calm? No? Well, at least I can skip the Let The Smark Out segment this week, because Smackdown Live, incredibly enough, was possibly even worse in terms of terrible authority figures, even if they at least serve a purpose beyond "Gotta get Steph and Hunter over."

So, there are two feuds on Smackdown Live that touch on Shane O'Mac and Daniel Bryan. The first, obviously, is AJ Styles vs. Shane. I'm going to skip the part about the build because it's covered below in my best moments of the week. But again, in kayfabe, AJ Styles absolutely has a point. That opening promo was like a fired-up babyface, pointing out all the ways he was wronged, and none of them are actually false or embellished or delusional, like you'd hope they'd be from a heel. Instead, he gets the crowd on his side and then goes to the back to wait for Shane O'Mac because he blames him for the conspiracy against AJ. And Shane, for some reason, on a two hour show that presumably required significant time preparing for in advance, doesn't arrive until we're like an hour in. Huh? Was dude just concerned about the non-title tag match and 205 Live (of which he's not an authority figure) going off without a hitch? Wrestling doesn't always have to hold up to intense scrutiny, but you should be able to at least think through the basics of a plotline without furrowing your brow. And if the story was, "Shane's a McMahon and doesn't have to give a shit about this job," then maybe they'd be onto something. But it's not, so they're not.

But I digress. Shane shows up, AJ beats his ass something fierce, to which the crowd cheers, Daniel Bryan fires AJ, to which the crowd boos, and then Shane gets the Monday Nitro NWO backstage cutaway during the "main event" which basically screams "we don't care about this match at all," and then puts himself against AJ in a match at Mania.

Now, maybe this could be mostly fine, and I'm not gonna pretend like I'm not way more hyped for this match now then I was a month agao, except for one other thing: We've seen countless wrestlers do terrible things backstage on Smackdown Live in recent months and not even get fined or suspended, let alone fired. Baron Corbin attacked Ambrose with a fucking forklift, Maryse beat Nikki Bella with a pipe or something, Dolph Ziggler was wailing on dudes with chairs, AND RANDY ORTON BURNED DOWN A MAN'S HOUSE. Corbin, Maryse, and Orton get matches at Mania, and AJ gets fired. Guys, we all know it’s one big scripted show, but consistency in the story has to matter at least a little bit or we’re just staging wrestling matches for no reason.. And also, no way does AJ get fired without Steph calling that dude in like .2 seconds and offering him a big old contract for Raw.

Alright, let's just move onto Daniel Bryan's role in Cena/ Nikki vs. Miz/ Maryse. Again, the build to this is mostly a lot of fun, but the authority figure, if you really think about it, is the worst. Miz has been rightfully murking Bryan on the mic for months ever since Bryan openly admitting during the draft that he didn't want Miz and then called him a coward a few weeks later on Talking Smack. Regardless of if you like Miz, Daniel, you deserve every bit of that verbal ethering you've gotten. And then on SDL, Bryan, as biased as they come in a feud that involves his sister-in-law and her boyfriend, books the match for Mania apparently against Miz's wishes after talking about how much he wants to punch Miz in the face. NOT IDEAL MANAGEMENT TALK, DANIEL.

Look, at the end of the day, much of this is done in the service of building feuds, and for the most part, I understand it (though not that Foley/ Steph stuff), but when you think about wrestling like it's a real show, and not with a winking nod at it being fake, the logic behind it falls apart, and that's just not good enough. But I guess what I’m really saying is, can we just get William Regal to take charge of both brands?

10 Best Moments of the Week

Shane O’Mac takes a bigger beating for a Smackdown Live backstage segment then Brock Lesnar took in his entire Mania match last year Shane continues to be a lunatic. That looked like a hell of a stiff whoopin’ he took from AJ, and as “meh” as I’ve felt about seeing the best wrestler in the world selling for Shane’s baby jabs, I can’t deny that this popped me.

That Austin Aries rolling elbow I mostly dislike that spinning lariat/ clothesline or elbow thing that a few different people do because they usually do it like Natalya where they spin, then have to step forward and throw the thing, thereby neutering the momentum of the move. Even Luke Harper doesn't do it very well. But Aries has the best one I've ever seen. When he comes out of the spin he is ON TOP of you and that elbow looks like it has extra oomph on it because of it.

Bringing back the Mick Foley/ Triple H blood feud It wasn't Rock/ Austin in terms of box office and hype, but the Foley/ Triple H feud, peaking with Cactus Jack's return, is probably my favorite feud for both men, and so I was getting a little worried when Trips was giving every appearance of absolutely neutering Mick, but I can't deny that there was a huge pop in my living room when the camera cut away from Mick apparently cowering in the corner of the ring but discreetly reaching for something in his pants. That was a good moment, though I felt less so about Trips getting to stand tall over Rollins at the end of the night, though at least that match is clearly on for Mania now.

SLAY MARYSE Wrestling feuds based on shootin’ are super tricky, but this Miz/ Maryse vs. Cena/ Bella feud continues to do the best job I’ve seen a feud do with “shooting” since, like, CM Punk. I have no idea how bad Maryse’s ring rust might be, but that genuinely seemed like a woman who is just going to punch Nikki in the face at Mania.

Dana Brooke, white bread baby face They stopped and started with this moment too much on the way there, but I'll be damned if Dana's goofy energy in the ring didn't get that crowd cheering for her. The timing seems odd to me given that we're a few weeks from Mania and Charlotte has much bigger fish to fry, but I'll allow the string to play out on this one and hope that they build on it and make her into the sort of mid-card babyface that isn't really present on either main roster.

Roman Reigns: Shithead heel I have no idea if they're actually doing this heel thing with Roman or if they're really content to let him wither and die in the middle, but R-double as a cocky, entitled dick throwing shade at Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker at once was a fascinating decision. Given that Undie has shown his own Bobby Hill-inspired heel tendencies as recently as the Lesnar follow-up feud, I wondered if maybe they were going to try and make the Dead Man play something of a bad guy here, but right now they are setting Roman up to get booed out of the goddamn building in Orlando.

Bray Wyatt... ewww I’m no big fan of any of the spooky stuff WWE does with Bray Wyatt because too often they half-ass it, and you can’t half-ass the mystical/ magical shit. It’s either real or it’s not. But Bray bathing in Sister Abigail’s ashes or what the fuck ever happened there was a billion times more memorable than the countless gaspy promos he’s done before about being the Eater of Worlds or something.

Sasha planting seeds I hope it happens, and I'm glad they're planting the seeds, but I hope they wait until after Mania for Sasha to even hint at hostilities towards Bayley. The night after Mania for a Sasha turn would cause just obscene levels of reaction.

William Regal, my dude That triple threat tag match at NXT: Orlando is now by far the odds-on favorite to be the match of Mania weekend. Adding that elimination stip is a fascinating stroke. It’s very unclear if any of these six guys are headed for the main roster anytime soon, so I could really see anyone coming out of there with the title, but I’d say the elimination piece makes AOP far more likely to retain. Still, that match should get 30 minutes if I have the say, and just be ten kinds of awesome.

Asuka stylin’ and profilin’ Asuka hanging by the pool, saying her catchphrases, and that entire segment, was a really good one for the champ. She’s never been more arrogant or looked better. I didn’t think they’d beat Ember on the way to the top, but I’m definitely starting to feel more like Asuka will retain and maybe go a little extra heel afterwards.

Let the Smark Out

I went overboard in the Theme of the Week on my smarky side, so I’m just going to list my two problems this week and not go too far in-depth about them here.

LOL Ziggler should be a meme at this point. I can’t believe how bad this heel turn has been.

The Club's self-inflicted words - Hey, Gallows and Anderson, in the words of CM Punk, "You need to watch the show." I'm actually debating making this into a weekly segment because I feel like WWE's characters way too often do the dumbest shit with the most obvious, self-inflicted outcome. And that's exactly what happened with Gallows and Anderson guaranteeing that Foley would put them in a Triple Threat match at Mania after interfering in the Sheamus/ Cesaro vs. Cass/ Enzo #1 Contender's match.

Let’s Rank Stuff

Two weeks to Mania and we’re so close that it’s pretty clear, with a couple possible exceptions, what the card will look like. So this week we’re ranking how long I expect the Mania matches to go, from longest to shortest. And keep in mind this is my prediction for how long the matches will actually last, not how long I want them to last.

Reigns vs. Undertaker (22 minutes)

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse (19 Minutes)

Triple H vs. Rollins (18 Minutes if Seth can go)

Corbin vs. Ambrose (17 Minutes because they go backstage and do goofy shit)

Jericho vs. Owens (16 Minutes)

Wyatt vs. Orton (15 Minutes)

AJ vs. Shane (15 Minutes because it takes time to set up a crazy Shane spot)

Charlotte vs. Bayley vs. Sasha (14 Minutes)

Sheamus/ Cesaro vs. The Club vs. Enzo and Cass (13 Minutes on the Pre-Show)

Neville vs. Aries (10 Minutes)

AMBAR (10 Minutes, longer if it goes to the Pre-Show)

Smackdown Women's Free For All (9 Minutes)

Lesnar vs. Goldberg (6 Minutes)

Match of the Week

Bobby Roode vs. Kassius Ohno for the NXT Championship - I was really torn between this and the 5-Way on 205 Live, but I have more to say about Ohno/ Roode, so I picked this one. I liked that they made Ohno look pretty good even as you knew there was no way he was winning. His offense looked and sounded stiff as hell, which I always appreciate out of a big dude. And Roode continues to just be smarter and survive by the skin of his teeth. But I also needed to talk about the elephant in the room: Ohno’s gear. That tightie-whitie and basketball jersey look was horrific. I have no problem with guys that aren’t as physically fit being really good at wrestling. I like the different body types. But the ring gear here is actively distracting and it’s going to hurt him.

Either put him in a pair of full-sized trunks that come up past the waist (think old school Dusty Rhodes) and let him wrestle shirtless, or get him pants and an actual shirt. Either option is fine, this option is atrocious.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Mania. Obviously, we’re headed towards Mania. But post-Mania, I’m nervous about how WWE might treat Smackdown Live. It’s been their best show for months, but change is a-comin’. Cena is reportedly taking time off, Nikki might be retiring, and word is the AJ Styles could be traded to Raw. That leaves an enormous gap at the top of the Smackdown card that I don’t see how they can fill without getting an enormous asset from Raw.

The top of the Raw card post-Mania would be: Brock, R-Double, BRAUN, KO, Finn, Styles, Rollins, SmoJo. And that’s without mentioning Sami, Cesaro, Sheamus, and Handsome Rusev. That roster is fuckin’ STACKED.

The top of the Smackdown card without Cena would be: Orton, Wyatt, Miz, Ambrose, and I guess Baron Corbin??? Yikes. If AJ goes to Raw and SDL doesn’t get like Seth and New Day in return (because let’s be honest, the rosters are already uneven), then they are completely setting Smackdown Live up for massive failure.

Do the right thing, WWE.

Hitting The Finisher

We saw the first concrete glimpse of a Sasha Banks heel turn on Raw this week. It was as fleeting as they come, an off-handed remark about "haters" intended to sew doubt in Bayley's mind, but NXT fans the world over had to be relishing it, dreaming of the inevitable moment on a future Raw when Sasha and Bayley are in the ring, perhaps yelling at a retreating Charlotte or Nia, when Bayley drifts a little ahead of Sasha, just far enough for Sasha to give her a quick stink eye and then... BAM! Backstabber into the Banks Statement. Even if WWE does its usual main roster, half-assed, telegraphing in the lead-up to such a moment, it will pop the hell out of the crowd and change the face of the Raw women's division for the better.

And yet I'm here to tell you that I hope they wait a while before they pull the trigger. Bayley seems incredibly likely to retain the title at Mania despite being the third best performer in the Triple Threat, and my guess is the night after Mania they pull the trigger on the Sasha turn. That crowd will eat it the fuck up.

But I hope they wait. If you want Bayley to retain the title, let Sasha hang at her side for a while, let her stay Bayley's friend out mutual respect. Maybe she helps Bayley survive a Nia feud post-Mania, while also feuding with Emma or someone from Smackdown that gets traded. The point is, let us get comfortable with Sasha and Bayley as friends, even as we all know that Sasha ultimately wants the title. Give Sasha multiple opportunities to turn, but never take it. Really build up the respect these two have for each other. Let Charlotte recruit a few others into a stable and let Sasha and Bayley withstand them, and then, pull the damned trigger after you're 110% sure you've earned it.

The Boss turning on Bayley should be heartbreaking. Right now it would just be predictable. Fun, yes, but emotional, no.

#wwe #wrestling