Centre pull girlies how do you do it
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whumpcember day 28
@whumpcember
prompt: explosion
characters: hero, sidekick, villain
warnings: drugged, bomb, strapped down, cursing
341 words
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Hero snuck around the compound, peeking through the frosted windows as he looked for Sidekick’s signal. He saw it; a small red feather just outside a dentist’s door.
He smiled softly and picked it up, twirling it in his hands gently before pocketing it and pushing the door open.
A rush of hot air blew out of the room and Hero had to blink before continuing on. He passed a lobby, a receptionist area, and stopped just before passing the doorway to one of the rooms.
Villain stood in front of the dentist’s chair, staring intently at Sidekick. She was strapped to the chair with leather straps, unable to do much more than wiggle a finger.
Villain looked up and smirked, “Nice of you to finally show up. We were beginning to wonder if you were even coming.”
“What do you want?” Hero asked, venom dripping from his voice.
VIllain sighed and rolled his eyes, “Always so business-like. I just needed you here, that’s all.”
Something hit hard against Hero’s arm and he shouted out. The pressure went away and for a moment, nothing happened.
Hero stumbled, falling against the wall and losing control of his limbs. Villain stepped around him and leaned on the doorway.
“Well, it’s been…annoying. But I’ve got to go before that bomb goes off, so bye!” he cheered.
The clock on the wall ticked slowly, counting the seconds Hero leaned helplessly against the wall.
His brain shouted for his legs to move, to get to Sidekick and undo the leather buckles holding her down. To get the fuck out of the building and hunt Villain down.
But, nothing happened. His arm shot out for Sidekick’s hand and, by some miracle, he grasped her hand in his. She squeezed his hand tightly and sobbed softly. “Is this it?”
The clock was drowned out by another ticking, a loud, desperate beat coming from one of the dull-grey cabinets.
“I think it is,” Hero said.
They listened as the bomb continued to tick, echoing through the room until finally.
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[ID: a screenshot of the “Bad Art” coloumn of the table shown in the original tweet.
The sections are: “makes you feel weird”, “saps energy”, “sets off a downward spiral”, “confuses the mind”, “produces stagnation”, “weed” (as a drug analogy), “unstructured and obsessively anti-rhythm”, “instinctively recognised as a scam”, “a malevolently bad map”, “obfuscation, lies, resentment”, “wises to destroy the canon”, “mocks the concept of values”, “enfeebles life”, “spits on beauty and actively celebrates ugliness”, and “bad art is whining, coping, seething, and a waste of time”.
End ID]
Tag yourself as this list of “bad art” features, according to a twitter fascist
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i wanted to post this on twitter but i felt like it was too mean
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I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...
Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?
Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.
Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.
***
Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.
Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.
The humans response is to climb higher.
***
Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.
Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.
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