#humans are space cats | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nerdybluephoenix · 2 years

Text

All species who first officially fly outside their own solar system are soon met with several thousand more species not as far as they thought. Those out there past a sun's orbit will quickly reach out to make contact with these new creatures.

When you, humanity, reach past your own star, you are met with traditional greeting. The rundown, the history, who's in charge, the laws.

And to that you said... nah.

The entitlement. Yikes. But that wasn't uncommon and set off no red flags for the older and clearly much wiser species. Sometimes new species think they don't need to be governed. You were regarded like a young toddler saying no to everything.

But as time went on, you continued to grow. And you continued to not accept governance from anyone else.

You got in trouble a lot.

This resistance wasn't later detered. You doubled down, you armed your vessels, and you continued by your own laws.

That's not to say you were unreasonable. (Although you surely saw yourselves as so). Despite the fears - even among your own kind - you didn't take over planets already inhabited. You didn't create needless wars or enslave innocent alien souls.

Then what was the problem, if not your morals?

You simply had your own way of living.

They recommended new planets for you, but no, you wanted that one.

They'd ask you let their services protect you from pirates, but no your missles did just fine. They explain that owning your own weapons is illegal... No it's not because you didn't make it illegal.

They'd teach you how to set up currencies... mmm, maybe? No. Never mind. Your way has been has been the norm for the past thousand years, and you, humanity, don't do well with change. Unless it was your own idea.

Let us teach you the ways of art. Sure! But the Greeks did it better, still.

Your spaceships move too fast. You considered that to be the whole point of spaceships, despite alien's insistance that it was illegal. At least communicate your routes. Of course! You didn’t want to crash, that'd be unreasonable.

Truthfully, humanity, you weren't always right. And some of your ways really did have to change... at least one day. The aliens wouldn't be your pushovers. You didn't get away with everything. Scratching the furniture and knocking over a vase was frowned upon, so to speak.

But, you were mostly harmless. And eventually the other aliens learned that some of your ways they needed to let you do your way.

#dude this rough draft is so old #i think I started writing it nearly a year ago #oh yeah. I'm polishing my rough drafts #can't you tell?#humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are space oddities #space orcs #aliens #humans are so weird #outer space #galaxy #funny #short story #humans and aliens #humans are space cats #haso #writing

2K notes · View notes

smallbraintime · 11 months

Text

Alien finds some of the human nap spots weird.

This was inspired by a family member finding my favorite nap spot strange ( the nap spot is a circle swing in a suitably sunny spot )

#humans are weird #humans are space cats

43 notes · View notes

broseidon-kingofthebrocean · 2 years

Text

Imagine humans are one of the few species that developed language. It’s how humans adapted to thrive,but not every species that makes it to space needed language to get there.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #humans are aliens #humans are crazy #language #space australia #humans are space cats #theories #imagination

254 notes · View notes

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily · 4 months

Text

So apparently on December 11th NASA tested using lasers to send information from space to Earth and this was the video they used:

youtube

The first video to be sent from space to Earth via laser is of an orange tabby cat chasing a laser pointer. His name? Taters.

More information:

#nasa #outer space #astrophysics #physics #science #cats #animals #science!#ALL HAIL TATERS #i love humanity so much #ofc it was a cat video #Youtube

2K notes · View notes

niqhtlord01 · 6 months

Text

Humans are weird: Cats

Alien: Thanks for inviting me over. Alien: I’ve never been in a human’s home before so this will be- *sees cat sitting on couch* Alien: What is that? Human: That is Fred. *Turns to cat* Human: Say hi Fred. Fred: *MEOW* Alien: I was not aware you had a roommate. Human: What? Human: No, he’s my pet. Alien: You keep a sentient being as a pet? Are you a monster? Human: No; but Fred is. Fred: *MEOW* ----------------------

Alien: *goes to sit down, accidentally steps on fluffy ball* *Cat’s head shoots up* Human: You need to run. Alien: What? Why? Human: You just stepped on Fred’s favorite toy. Alien: So that means I am in danger? Fred: *low growling sound* Human: It’s too late….. --------------------------

*Thirteen stitches later* Alien: How can something so fluffy be so angry!?!?! Human: Domestication probably. Alien: Is that not meant to breed out the violence? Human: Normally yes, but with cats it just condensed it. ------------------------

*Next day* *Door slowly opens* Alien: Is it safe to come in? Human: Let me check. *Picks up Fred and holds him in front of alien* Fred: *Low growling noise* Human: No it is n- Alien: *Slams door shut quickly* ---------------------

*Two days later* Alien: *Sipping drink* Alien: What can I do to win over your furry slave? Human: First off, he is a pet not a slave. Human: And even if that was the situation I technically am Fred’s slave. Alien: *Surprised* You are one of the most advanced species in the galaxy; having mastered space travel and the manipulation of matter itself. Human: And yet I am the one cleaning up his shits. Alien: *Opens mouth to counter, then sips instead when nothing comes to mind* ----------------------

Human: Why does it matter that you want Fred to like you? Human: I thought you hated him? Alien: Were he not an animal I would have sworn a blood oath to destroy him and his family for what he has done to my face. Human: I ask again; why does it matter? Alien: Because for reasons beyond my understanding I feel compelled to have that little death machine love me. Human: Welcome to being a cat owner. ------------------------

*Three days later* *Door slowly opens* Alien: Are you ready? Human: I’ve got Fred. Alien: And you’re sure this will work? Human: Positive. *Alien walks in and Fred starts growling* Human: Get ready; I’m releasing Fred. *Puts Fred down who begins sprinting towards alien* *Alien holds out tiny tube with goop pouring out end* Fred: *MEOW!* *Stops murder sprint and begins sniffing and licking tube enthusiastically* Alien: So you bribe him with food? Human: Works on us humans as well. ------------------

Alien: Do you think I have won him over? *Fred walks up and brushes against Alien* Human: I think you’re good.

Alien: It felt like being embraced by the goddess herself. --------------------

Alien: So besides eating, sleeping, and acts of disproportionate violence; what else do they like to do? Human: Fred loves to play. *Picks up laser pointer and flashes it around room* *Fred’s head shoots up, does the butt wiggle, then lunges at the laser* Alien: What fascinating technology. Human: Yeah; we also use this to guide missiles for air strikes in wars. Alien: Your pet enjoys playing with tools of death? Human: I think that’s one of the reasons he enjoys it so much. ------------------

Alien: *Looks down at shirt* Alien: What is this? Human: Oh yeah, forgot to mention he’s a heavier shedder. Human: Sorry about that. Alien: Do not worry, for I too shed my skin. *Proceeds to peel off skin until raw muscle and bone is left* *Casually tosses aside empty skin suit which Fred walks over to and cuddles in* Human: Thank you for that fresh nightmare material. Alien: *slurring words due to no lips* Yoooou’re welllllcoommme.

#humans are insane #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #writing #original writing #niqhtlord01 #funny #cats #cat owners

3K notes · View notes

fictionalcharatersmybeloved · 5 months

Text

734 notes · View notes

ayautjaslover · 6 months

Text

Merry (almost) Christmas, here are some Christmas space cats

678 notes · View notes

bonesmarinated · 7 months

Text

I'm fulfilling what Bethesda could not 😑😤 And the cat name is Oslo! I hc Mateo and Noel both took care of this cat and it's a permanently resident at The Lodge, Oslo is a shy cat but he likes to be around Kristian. Oslo remind Kristian of a stray cat that he and his brother used to raised when they were kids.

#bethesda starfield #starfield #starfield oc #kristian odegaard #Dear Bethesda please retcon the extinction of cat and dogs #All they need to do #is make some old lady in space floating in her lone ship filled with cats #seriously IF humanity exists across the stars I can promise literally swear on my family name that dogs and cats will spread with us #It’s madness to disagree Bethesda got this wrong #can't wait until the tool kit is release so modder can put in their work to filled the void #starfield spacefarer #sarah morgan #kris

878 notes · View notes

marlynnofmany · 1 year

Text

The Little Things

“It’s the unexpected stuff that gets me,” I said, swirling my drink. “Like, I’ll expect alien food on the alien spaceship, but the first time I heard offworld music, I thought the engine was about to fail.”

“Oh, I know, right?” agreed the other human, waving her own drink around. She hadn’t spilled it on the spaceport floor yet, but her ship had heavier gravity than this, and she was still adjusting. “And have you smelled what passes for perfume among the Mesmers? It’s like someone cut an onion and rubbed it in hot peppers.”

“Wow, I haven’t come across that yet,” I said with a glance back toward the spacedocks. “We’ve got two Mesmers onboard. Maybe they haven’t felt like getting fancy.” I tried to picture either of my exoskeletoned crewmates preparing for a high-class event, and my brain shorted out. Neither of them seemed the type. Zhee would stand by the punchbowl and complain about everything, while Trrili would hide behind curtains and jump out to startle people. Probably.

“It might be a courtship perfume,” the other human was saying. “Either that or it’s really expensive. I swear, if our navigator wore that on a regular basis, I’d have to invest in one of those high-quality personal air filters. It was bad.”

“Enough to make you miss the people who overdid the perfume back home?” I asked.

She set her drink down and leaned forward. “Enough to make me miss the body odor back home. And I don’t say that lightly!”

“I’ll bet!” I said with a toast of my own drink. It was cherry soda in a champagne glass. The Frillians running this restaurant were so proud of their Earth foods, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them that was anything other than a perfectly normal combination. And the fried-chicken-on-French-toast was actually good.

“It has been a while since I was home, though,” she said, picking at the remains of her macaroni and peas. “Earlier I saw somebody wearing a scarf like my mom’s, and now I keep thinking of all the things I miss. The tree outside my bedroom window, the cat purring, the sound of rain over an old TV show.”

I had a mild epiphany. “Well,” I said, finishing my drink. “I can’t help with all of that, but if you want to make a quick visit to my ship…” I leaned with a conspiratorial grin and whispered, “I’ve got kittens.”

Her gasp made people at three different tables look at us. “Oh my god, yes! Here, I’ll pay for your food. Where did you get kittens??”

“It’s a long story,” I said as she tapped at the payment interface. “I’ll tell you while they’re busy trying to fight your shoes.”

With a happy squeal that caused more than one wince from the aliens nearby, she swept our dishes into the recycler, then we were off to the spacedocks.

~~~

The ongoing backstory of the main character from this book. More to come!

#short one today #hooray for kittens #my writing #the Token Human #humans are weird #haso #hfy #humans are space orcs #homesickness #in spaaace #cats

1K notes · View notes

homefryboy · 1 year

Text

(commissions open)

2K notes · View notes

graceofagodswrath · 2 years

Text

Humans Are Feral

Alright, this my first post, and possibly a part one in a series of humans are feral story arcs. As well as being something that I constantly think about and wonder why no one talks about it. Maybe I just haven’t found the specific post.

Have we ever talked about how vicious humans can be? Especially in scenarios where something we care about it threatened? And I mean “bared teeth and snarling” type vicious. Beast mode activated. I’m talking about how we basically turn into animals in certain situations and rely solely on primal instinct.

Take mothers/fathers for example. You ever see a parent react to a situation in which their child was dancing with death? They will risk life and limb for that kid. My dad dove into a pool full speed after my two year old sister fell in the deep end. Clothes and all. Have you ever seen a woman after just giving birth and her mind is just straight hormones? And something happens that she perceives a threat? Someone picks up the newborn without consent, she jumps out of bed after a fucking cesarian to snatch the kid and full on snarl at them? Friend’s aunt did that shit. And don’t get me started on the super strength thing humans can do when someone is in danger and adrenaline kicks in. Then there are the people who will protect some random ass kid. A toddler or small kid with no parent around and suddenly something dangerous is about to happen? People will jump in parent or not.

Imagine:

It was a quiet day in the streets of Kuratz. The market paths usually bustling with people of races only had a small stream of customers bouncing from stall to stall. Tourists or natives of all sorts. Ky’lio, a young Avalanghar, watched from his mia’s stall, long ears swiveling this way and that to pick up on what conversations he could understand.

Then they caught his eye. The strangers you’d never see in such a place. Humans. What looked like a family unit. Ky’lio couldn’t help but lean forward to stare. He recognized the tallest as a male and the slightly shorter one a female, as he had watched some interactions between his mia and her human customers. But those humans were always soldiers or neighboring colonists. These humans were different.

There was a third party. Ky’lio had never seen a human child except for the few pictures shared from other humans. It was notoriously well-known that humans were extremely protective of their younglings, so few were seen away from human colonies. So the small, bouncing creature Ky’lio watched tug on the adult humans’ paws didn’t register as a baby human until he really stared and saw the round features.

It kept trying to dart away from its parents, but the adults held vice-like grips onto the little one’s paws. Until the stopped at a stall, Hadi Midas’s stall selling sweet fruits from the Dolor Jungles. The male let the little human go and the female took hold of the little one’s free paw. But the wild thing tugged and cried out, like a prisoner chained to a wall. It wailed and cried out in its native tongue, no doubt begging for release from its mia’s iron laws. The scene reminded Ky’lio of when he saw Kaloway serpent at a traveling exotic zoo. It too thrashed and screeched in its chains the same way the little human was. Then the female leaned down and whispered something to the child, making it go limp in her paws, hanging like a dead thing. The female only snorted and turned back towards her mate, who was speaking with Hadi Midas.

What happened next would always remain burned into Ky’lio’s memory. The little human twisted strangely and suddenly they yanked themselves from their Mia’s grip. It screeched triumphantly and dashed away. The female yelled and ran after it, but it was no use. The little human was fast and determined. As it ran down the street it neared the alleyway next to the Damik stall. Ky’lio felt the fur along his spine stand up. The alleyway was a known ambush site for younglings separated from their parents. A human child would be a great prize.

As the human youngling ran past the alleyway, a giant Oyiadin stepped out and grabbed the skinny, hairless arm. The little human screamed, a sound that had every fear feeling surging through Ky’lio’s body. Others in the street turned and stared, but none dared do anything. Oyiadins had a reputation for smuggling and trafficking, their muscular stature, claws and jaws full of sharp fangs scared away any possible help. It wasn’t the first time Ky’lio witnessed a kidnapping and helplessly watched as the kidnapped youngling’s parents shrieked in despair and fear, never daring to fight such beasts. So they would lose their child.

But these were humans. And humans were known for strange, impossible feats. That fact still did not prepare the young Avalanghar to witness the female human slam into the giant Oyiadin, tackling the muscular biped to the ground. The male human swooped in and snatched the small human, now crying and clinging to its parent. The female stood atop the giant, snarling like a wild fangher. Her lips were pulled back to reveal small, white teeth that were nowhere near as intimidating as the Oyiadin’s, yet the expression was somehow more fearsome. She growled something in her native tongue, standing menacingly over the Oyiadin that hadn’t tried to stand up. It’s ugly face was strangely empty of menace, it’s six eyes wide and staring at the human it easily dwarfed. Yet the female held no fear, spitting and snarling, her body tensed for a fight. But the Oyiadin offered no challenge. She spat something in her language once more, then turned and walked to her mate and youngling.

“That is why you must not provoke humans.” Ky’lio jumped, turning to see his mia behind him and watching everything. She looked down at him. “They are dangerous and unpredictable. Especially when they’re protective.” She looked up to watch the trio of humans pass by. “Never underestimate their willingness to fight for their own.”

~~~~~~

Kids are one thing. Then there are pets. I have personally felt the willingness to kill if anyone threatened my dog or cat. That pack bonding stuff is no joke. No, I don’t care if you hear me call my cat a fat, no-rent-paying bastard, he’s my fat no-rent-paying bastard. And I won’t just die for him. I will kill you and cut you up in pieces and summon satan to dine with me on them for that fat bastard.

~~~~~~

Imagine:

Galar was a puvarra, and deserved xis comeuppance. But the crew never expected for their human crew mate to be the one to do it.

Oakley was a good crew mate and most of the team had high opinions of him. He did his work, turned in reports on time, socialized and was overall very kind. The crew was grateful that the human was one that presented the better side of his species. However some were not fond of humans. Galar, the Yunagi from the helix system 1-4b, was one of this opinion. Xe was unabashedly cruel to many on the crew, and only got away with it because xe often blackmailed xis victims to not report to the captain. It was irritating how xe knew certain things. But xe’d finally gone too far.

Oakley had a pet aboard the ship. The creature humans called a cat, a furry thing on four legs that was a master at contortion. While the crew had been hesitant about the creature at first, hearing stories about Terran animals, many grew to like it. Oakley’s cat was named Jambo, a black and white pattern on its fur and a long, skinny tail. It would rub against their legs or jump upon counters to watch them at work. Sometimes it would doze off near them. Only Oakley and Jabari, Oakley’s partner in work, had been selected as thrones for the creature to doze upon. Many on the crew came to feel honored when the creature would approach them and rub its cheek against an outstretched appendage, a sign Oakley had explained to be affection and a demand for “pets.” Jambo got many pets.

Then one day, as the crew drew together in the dining area for a meal, Galar chose his hill to die on. Jambo had approached the tables, padding towards Oakley, but stopping as some crew began making chirping and clicking sounds, trying to intice Jambo toward them for pets. Then Galar walked by, the blue finned Yunagi’s eyes landing on Jambo. And before any could do anything, xe pulled back a long leg and kicked the black and white cat. Jambo let out a loud screech.

Then Galar was flying back and Oakley was screaming in his native language. He wailed on Galar, his fist connecting every time. At one point he tried to choke xim. Several crew jumped upon them, pulling the human way from the Yunagi, but the damage was done. Purple bruises were already evident upon the Yunagi’s blue-green hide, scratches and crescent shaped marks on xis neck were leaking dark blue blood. Nothing serious, but enough to rattle everyone.

Oakley didn’t bother staying to explain to the captain. He immediately left to find his cat, as did some of the others. Many could care less if Galar was injured, because the stupid puvarra deserved it. They worried for Jambo. The cat was later found and inspected. Luckily for Jambo, he had some light bruising. Very lucky. Oakley even cried, the clear wetness on his face a strange sight for many.

When asked by the captain why he attacked Galar, Oakley point-blank said it was because he kicked Jambo. And anyone who dared hurt his cat was going to get hurt themselves. He said it so casually the captain blinked several times. While humans were known for their protectiveness of packmates, this aggression was unexpected. They went on to scold Oakley and told him that they would have to write this on his personal report for future jobs. Oakley only nodded, still unswayed. The captain sighed and dismissed him. They knew they probably should have done more for such heinous action. But unbeknownst to others, the captain was also fond of Jambo. They were the only other person Jambo chose to nap on.

~~~~~~

This was written really fast, so I apologize if the writing is a little scrunched and there are mistakes. It physically hurt to write about a cat getting kicked, I wanted to vomit. Ugh. I wanted to go off on a tangent about humans taking on giant beasts for their kids because wouldn’t we? I personally don’t like kids, but I admit that I’d fight a bear for that one-year old that smiled at me in a Walmart checkout line, then offered me her animal cracker. I mean, wtf. I’ll save that for the next post tho.

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are deathworlders #humans are insane #humans are crazy #humans are weird #humans are terrifying #humans are fucking feral if you fuck with a cat #I’m serious I would kill for my cat and I have considered it several times #humans are feral series

5K notes · View notes

enchantingducktheorist · 5 months

Text

Vocal chords won't let me purr when I'm comfy

247 notes · View notes

feliosfarkus · 2 years

Text

just had a humans are space orcs or humans are deathworlders or whatever idea hold on

So, you know how humans are persistence predators, right? We aren't the fastest, the stealthiest, or the strongest, but we have endurance that is not topped by anything. Imagine that but space warfare. Our ships aren't the fastest, we don't have the biggest guns or the best cloaking tech or the best shields. But our engines are the most efficient in the galaxy. And we hold a fucking grudge. So, imagine some aliens try to do a hit-and-run assault on our fleet. They get some of our ships, and then they speed off. While they're refueling their ships, they see us appear out of hyperspace, and so they have to leave with their ships only half full. We don't have to refuel. They try to refuel, they see us, they leave with ships quarter full. We don't have to refuel. They are scared, we're the new kids on the block, and we have an imperial fleet running with their tail between their legs. The whole time, we're making contact with the galactic community at large, establishing new colonies, discovering new technologies, new fuel sources, and making our ships more efficient. We name our first off-planet built ship the Tortoise, like tortoise and the hare. They may be faster, stronger, smarter, but we don't stop.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humanity fuck yeah #the cat rambles #the cat writes

3K notes · View notes

antpony · 7 months

Text

Funny tweets as f&c /at characters lol I love making these

#fionna and cake #adventure time #finn the human #jake the dog #fionna campbell #ellis p #lumpy space princess #adventure time fanart #fionna and cake fanart #cake the cat #my art

336 notes · View notes

puppetmaster13u · 10 days

Text

Prompt 280

Let me kick down the door and-

Nekomatta Danny. But not just any nekomata Danny. I am saying space cat boy. Twin-tails that seem to flicker into an aurora, into distant galaxies, ghostly flames that could be just that, or could be flickers of distant stars and suns.

Now, the thing is? Being a ghost, very much illegal in the USA right now, doesn’t matter how many times they throw out the GIW, they can’t exactly take on the entire government any time soon. What isn’t illegal? Being an alien, meta, or any other magical creature.

So the halfas, yes that (ugh, really Jordan) does include Vlad, all get together to hash out a plan to get out of Amity. And? They like cats, you like cats right? And they have friends- or allies- in the Zone, so maybe they can perhaps get a few… oh? What’s this? A cat-like creature with necromatic powers? Yeah they can- oh. Hm. So that’s replaced their ghost form now.

That’s fine actually! They’re still ghosts- just erm, no longer human looking. And Vlad can continue to use his human form- yes we need to keep the bracelets on to hide the ears and tails, whatever- to continue running DalvCo.

It’s not bad, and they’ll admit Vlad has been getting better. Sure there’s still a bunch of blackmail (Jordan, Sam, stop helping him-), but they honestly? Can’t be brought to care. They’re adjusting- grieving in some cases- and focusing on actually finishing everything before the summer ends.

So it’s probably not a good time for heroes to start investigating Vlad…

If you want a basic summary on Bakeneko and Nekomata, which I HEAVILY recommend reading:

https://yokai.com/bakeneko/ https://yokai.com/nekomata/

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Danny is Not Ghost King #Halfa Trio #Most of Amity was maybe destroyed #Yes Tucker couldn’t stop laughing about how they all look like furries in ghost form #Honestly someone could make the ‘connection’ between Masters having a cat & some bakeneko taking the form of their previous master #They have not connected any sort of dots but well #Yes they all have cat ears & tails even in human forms #Valerie still has her dad but is on an “internship” with Vlad #Plasma Core Vlad #Ocean Core Jazz #Sun Core Dan #Space Core Danny #Metal Core Val #Life Core Sam #Storm Core Tucker #Moon Core Ellie #Yes Vlad does still go to the odd Gala or two but he’s known as a very hermit-esque dude lol #I wonder where they could have moved since people already know about the Wisconsin home #Honestly up to anyone who decides to write this lol #Remind me to draw my ideas for the designs later

128 notes · View notes