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hopesandmountains · 7 months

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I think one of the key things for any relationship is to discover what your needs are.

Because otherwise you’re going to try and meet those needs in ways that aren’t entirely conscious to you.

Everybody has a need for passion, love, understanding, physical closeness etc. but we all find different ways of meeting that need.

And the most straightforward answer is to find a relationship.

However for those of us with emotional trauma it’s not really always easy or straightforward to find and build a relationship. And honestly that’s not always the priority for everybody anyhow.

The need for passion, love, and intensity can outweigh the need for a long lasting connection, especially when dealing with people who are suffering from trauma or living a life where they constantly feel anxious or overwhelmed.

And of course because a long lasting and intimate connection with someone else can just be a scary thing, especially when trauma or other factors have left you unsure about your connection with yourself.

However the thing is, the solution is not really looking for a causal relationship either. If your need is true passion and investment, whether you admit it to themselves or not, you are placing actual stakes on how things are going to work out and you would be personally hurt if you ever if you were to feel used like just another causal fling.

This is especially true with those who have attachment issues or abandonment issues, because unlike securely attached people who can just walk away, unresolved attachment issues can latch you onto someone even if you hardly know them.

So realizing it or not, it is kind of like a gamble that either things will just work out together in the long run, or that by the time the relationship runs it’s course, that having that passion love and understanding will have left you in a more resourced place where you will not only be able to handle the emotions of separating, but will also be left in a more emotionally secure place that is better then where you started.

And that’s not entirely untrue. Having someone compassionate who truly cares about you can really help you boost your mental health, and if you really work at it while you have those additional resources they are giving you through their care, you can heal yourself and build that emotionally security from within.

But really the therapist answer would be to look for friends, social supports, healthy communities, groups you belong to etc. to use as additional resources to help you heal and build that emotionally security.

And in fairness, the way society is set up doesn’t really make it easy to build a social support group and it’s not always a bad idea to just get to know someone and see where things naturally go.

But it can be more reckless and unsafe. By putting heavy emphasis on passion too early on in a relationship, your risk opening up yourself to someone toxic or not good for you or in the worst case outright abusive.

And this is why it’s important to know your needs, because if you try and meet them in a way that feels familiar to your childhood trauma, it can be a recipe for disaster if you are unconsciously trying to recreate an unsafe environment.

So regardless of what you do I emphasis learning more about yourself, slowing things down, and seeing how you feel at each step. See if past traumas get brought up, if attachment issues start acting up, if what you are feeling is limerence or true connection, if you are considering your own needs in the relationship, if you are voicing those needs in a healthy manner, if you are staying true to yourself or if you are “fawning”.

And it’s not that I want to scare people off from finding connections or meeting new people, I just think it’s really important to understand your needs in a way that you can confident in yourself and confident enough in the relationship to move forward.

And confident enough to objectively consider losing the relationship, confident enough to objectively decide what kind of relationship it is that you want (considering your own needs and not someone else’s), and confident to walk away if that is what is best for you.

So try and volunteer somewhere, join clubs, slowly let yourself be more social to be build that social safety net, and yes please take risks. At some point you will have to address your own vulnerability and that means risking yourself.

And this post is already a lot so the last thing I will stress is just how important it is to understand your own vulnerability so you don’t unintentionally make yourself more vulnerable than you intend to. A lot times when people aren’t comfortable being vulnerable but want to try to be, they can overextend and be more vulnerable than they intend to. And here’s a good video to learn about that.

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#attachment styles #attachment theory #anxious attachment #disorganized attachment #relationships #self care #self worth #childhood trauma #personally I am looking for a long term relationship #however that’s more of my value system and my self actualizad self #currently I have been feeling very overwhelmed so my basic needs are prioritizing finding that peace and calm now #so there’s an internal conflict because building a social support system takes time #and that doesn’t mean I have to compromise on my values or what I am looking for #it just means it’s something to recognize #so I can set a goal to get from where I am feeling now #to a place where I can be the idealized self that I want to be #I’ve been too focused on just outwardly doing things that felt aligned with who I wanted to be #however now I want to focus internally and monitor my true feelings and needs #because I need to work with myself to get to where I will be internally at peace while still embodying the self I want to be

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neuroticboyfriend · 4 months

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mm hehe its working

#<3 #love and peace on the planet earth #this is going to be an expensive addiction #all my worries are gone. most of my pain is gone. i feel very little anxiety. im all nice and warm. and soft. and calm #i've never felt this way before...#at least. not in a long long time #julian rants #vent #drugs tw #addiction #opioids tw

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girl-bateman · 6 months

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I don't cry that often but best believe when I do, it WILL take up the entire day 💪💪grind never stops

#its not for any particular reason :( studying just didnt go very well and it rained on me alot and i felt like ppl were staring at me #like a freak just bc my hair was wet idk #and instead of getting lunch when i got back home and try to calm down in peace we had guests #so i just went up to my room to cry and be hungry bc i honestly saw it as the best solution #but its been 4 hours now and the tears just keep coming 😐#and my head hurts bc i have trouble breathing when i cry #idk. its not the worst or bad at all in contrast to how things used to be but idk i dont like wasting away a day like this #it just sucks major major major ass but if this is the height of my emptional suckiness then ill take it lol #personal

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theheadlessgroom · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/710855385566920704/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride

@beatingheart-bride

At her quip, Randall smiled and pretended to pull the cake away-similar to how a gambler would proudly pull in all the chips they’d won-but he stopped, chuckled, and instead grabbed a knife and cut them a slice each, passing one to Emily before tucking into his own, which was rich and delicate and creamy all at once. He didn’t know how the wizards down in the café did it, but this truly was a job well done, and he’d be sure to leave a generous tip, as a “thank you” for making this grand night of celebration for his angel something special.

His stealing of food and leaving generous tips from his equally-generous salary quickly became a part of the Opera Ghost mythos, once he arrived there: Although there was a lot of debate early on over whether or not ghosts could really eat or if there was somebody else sneaking around stealing food, that was all put to rest when he’d left them a note, complimenting a lunch he’d had (he’d heard someone in the dining room of the café say “my compliments to the chef!”, and so he thought it’d be polite to do the same). From then on, they knew it was the Ghost, who came to dine fairly regularly, and could expect a nice tip in return.

(That was how they could tell when someone else was stealing food-the second party, when they did work there, did not tip when they absconded with things like desserts and fresh baked goods. Needless to say, said second party did not last long there, and was let go after being caught trying to run off with a whole fruit pie the cooks had labored over that day. Good thing too-it was a strawberry pie, and Randall himself had designs on it!)

#((they do deserve it! they especially deserve to have a little genuine peace and quiet; as you said; the calm before the storm!))#((they had a hell of a time when it came to just getting to leroux and dealing with the whole little leota situation))#((and they're gonna have ANOTHER hell of a time once the circus comes to town and turns everything upside down))#((so for now they more than deserve a little domesticity: a quaint village to live in; a quiet little house to call their own))#((two children playing underfoot...they more than deserve the chance to savor all of that before all hell breaks loose!))#((and true; it is VERY good that constance isn't the main antagonist here!))#((i could see her *maybe* considering it...but then deciding against it; too much risk of exposing the truth; y'know))#((so she'll keep her ax tucked away...for now!))#((and YES to randall and emily being playful little nerds! i've long felt the banter between these two))#((has been one of my favorite elements of their relationship to write and i stand by it! i love scenes like these))#((when they're just bantering and being playful without a care in the world!))#outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Phantasm of the Mansion

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linguenuvolose · 1 year

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I don’t think many of you were here during ✨the idiot✨ but for those who were (hi ❤️) I want to let you know that I’ve had an incredible breakthrough with my feelings regarding all that this week. I’m now at a point where I feel so to the bone sure that what he did to me is inexcusable that I can now wish him well. I hope he’s doing well, that it’s true that no one has suffered from him like I had to do, that he has gone to therapy, that he’s not in that awful state he must’ve been in when we knew each other. I truly do hope that. What he did to me is in the past, it will never start over, I will never experience that from him ever again, he will never have that type of power and control over me again. I am not afraid of him anymore. If anyone should be afraid it’s him because god knows I have a lot of shouting to catch up on if I ever where to see him again. He’s not the central point in my life around which every negative emotion rotates anymore. I don’t have to explain everything he did to properly explain myself anymore. I don’t think about him every week or every month. Anniversaries aren’t as hard. I’m not “over it”, you don’t “get over” trauma, but I feel free, I feel liberated and it feels so fucking good. I have found peace in the fact that I’ll never get a proper excuse from him, because there is no reason or excuse that he could come up with that would justify what he did and that would make me forgive him. This means I’m not bound to him anymore, because there’s nothing he can do to give me closure. I’ve given myself the closure I need. I honestly never thought I would get here, it felt like it would always hurt as much as it did in the beginning, it felt like this would always be an open wound, it has been for such a long time. But the bleeding has stopped. What he did to me is unforgivable and I’m at peace with that.

#and with that: go to therapy <3 #would not have come this far wouldn’t have been at this point by now without my therapist #no doubt this shit will hurt again but right now it feels so good to have come to this point #felt compassion for him yesterday for the first time possibly ever #like obviously something must’ve been up for him to act like he did and that must’ve sucked for him #but again he had no right to take that out on me it was unfair and cruel and unforgivable #feeling very melancholic as I write this which lol is the opposite of what I’ve been claiming but yeah it’s a part of the process I suppose #anyway… going to eat now <3 take care have a snack I hope you will find peace and calm ❤️#puss och kram ❤️#snicksnack

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staryeclipse · 2 years

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Had a dream where I was in a place filled with dinosaurs, with sun Wu Kong and macaque there. SWK was stressed about something (I can't remember now) and I was trying to calm him down. I managed to by tracing the infinity sign around his eyes, he also transformed into a pillow to make it easier. Macaque joined soon afterwards, and we proceeded to talk about stuff. I can't exactly remember, but it's like insecurities, and fears. I think fear was the main one? I can't remember, but it felt heartfelt. We got interrupted by a dino who learned how to shoot arrows, but it was shooting it at a much bigger and scarier guy so we headed back into the house.

Then I woke up. I wish I could remember what we're talking about so I can hop back into the dream, but I can't remember anymore. Also I was looking at monkie kid posts before bed I SWEAR I'm not addicted lol

#its been a very long time since i dreamt of a show aite #its so rare that this one was so calming too #it felt like i was reviewing my life and sorting it out #i dont want to tag the fandom cause its more personal #etalks #dreams #i wanted to take note of it #i wouldnt mind if this became a recurring dream its so peaceful

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miradorjake · 10 months

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#i’m starting to despise nighttime #i’ve had anxiety my whole life but this summer it’s been the worst it’s been in a very long time #and like. at night it’s so much worse???#and lately my hypochondria + impending sense of doom anxiety is like. out of control #like to the point where i’m almost scared to sleep bc i’ll be so panicked i’m gonna like. die in my sleep or something awful like that #idk what’s going on #but it’s really not fun 🙎🏻‍♀️#and it’s been like this since the day I went on summer break from work and it’s like???? I was so exhausted from working I was looking so #forward to a break #but I can’t even slightly enjoy it bc my anxiety is like hey!!!!! what if you felt the worst anxiety ever!!! and become super scared of #nothing!!!#and feel like it’s literally the end of the world like every second #which is such a shitty feeling??? I never actually have the impending doom anxiety typically #and it’s NOT fun I literally just want to snap out of it #sigh sigh sigh #would like rest would like peace would like a calm brain!!! would like to breathe would like to not come up with 3663637282 medical things #to convince myself I have and panic over!!!!#someone quite literally sedate me please

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dokyeomini · 1 year

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got back from saturday shopping and got everything i needed but man was this stressful

#i had a panic attack at the grocery store triggered by this old lady who i think was in the store with her daughters #and idk if it was the tone of her voice or what #she kept saying 'no no no' idk to what but that was mostly what she said #she seemed very demanding like everything had to go her way #and i could just sense the tension #and they moved so slowly and they always seemed to find me again #and i could hear her from 2 aisles over #it was horrifying #i went to the freezer section to calm down #and they went there too!!!#i get anxiety in grocery stores when it's loud and busy as is #and i was doing so well even without my headphones #but this tipped me over the edge #i had to push one lf my ears closed to do something to calm down #honestly.... i don't have a go to method to calm down when im at the store and I can't just leave my basket without paying #amd I don't have everything i need #and I can't have even a moment of peace in any corner of the store #honestly it felt like she was a dragon i the final level of a video game and i couldn't get past her akhkdlj

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earthtooz · 8 months

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you're the only one that can tame diluc's anger. reader is called 'lady' but other than that no pronouns are mentioned, fluff, diluc being a softie in this, 1.2k wc.

your husband is notorious for being the stoic, level-headed character that he is. unperturbed by all things so long as mondstadt was safe and at peace, and when the city had someone as diligent as diluc protecting it, there was virtually nothing that ever made him falter. as much as you love and adore his rationality and straightforwardness, there was nothing that you hated more than his unwillingness to compromise in an argument.

his bullheadedness caused you to storm out of the manor, trek through the expansive fields of the winery in order to reach mondstadt. there, you calmed yourself down with a quick bite from good hunter before heading to the library because a quick rant to lisa would generally soothe the anger you felt.

however, your original plans of returning to the winery changed when a book that was recently returned caught your eye. noticing your fleeting glance, the electro-user recommends it, detailing its popularity and captivating storyline.

when lisa feels so passionate about something, how could you not be curious? she rarely gets a sentence out without a yawn nowadays so to hear her speak animatedly about a book is bound to get your attention.

without a second thought, you postpone your plans of returning home and find a comfortable couch to sit on before reading.

you must have spent longer than planned, and a favonius soldier barging through the library doors indicates as such, whose expression so panicked you would have thought there was a hillichurl invasion. he takes a quick scan of the room and relief floods his posture when his eyes land on you.

“lady y/n, you must come with me this instant,” the soldier demands after a quick salute.

“what is the issue?” you ask, undeniably curious.

“master diluc is searching for you and i fear that he is very angry. not even barbara can calm him, some of flora’s flowers have been singed, and he might burn down monstadt next, please come with me before it’s too late!”

you know that the soldier is merely exaggerating because as long as you were in mondstadt, diluc would never dare harm the city. moreover, he would never dare lay a finger on the city he loves, but his anger is nothing to take lightly, and you understand the knight’s fear.

although, you really don’t want to meet your husband.

“fine, i suppose i can classify this matter as urgent,” you sigh. “lisa, could you please let me borrow this book? i’ll return it in two weeks.”

“not a problem dear. better run along now before your husband supposedly burns down the city,” the librarian waves her hand, beckoning you to go, so you do.

the knight leads you to the whereabouts of angel’s share and before you could even turn the corner, you hear a mix of kaeya and diluc’s voices.

“i don’t know where y/n is, which is why i have my knights running around to find-” exclaims the calvary captain, beginning to sound perplexed at his brother’s uncharacteristic display of irrationality and franticness.

observing the scene, you see your husband right in kaeya’s face and suddenly you understand why the knight who brought you here was so frightened. the air had risen significantly in temperature and if you were a moment too late, he actually might have drawn out his claymore.

his red eyes glance behind the navy-haired to see you and in the blink of an eye, the red-haired pushes past the knights before storming down the street, right towards you.

“where have you been?” diluc asks, stopping only two feet before you. the deep frown on his face is evident of his displeasure, but the concern swimming in his eyes tell you that you don’t need to be scared.

“i was reading in the library,” you gesture to the book you were holding. “enjoying a peaceful afternoon until i got word that you were creating a ruckus.”

the winery owner visibly relaxes, tension flooding from his shoulders whilst a gloved hand runs through his hair, causing his bangs to fall messily in front of his eyes. “let’s talk about this at home,” he states, tone returning to normal as he takes your book from your hand, his vacant hand finding yours. diluc’s grip is tight and unrelenting, leaving no room for you to slip away as he turns to apologise to the knights of favonius.

then, the two of you leave through the main gates.

“are you still upset?” your husband asks and you squeeze his hand.

“a little,” you murmur before a small laugh escapes your lips, “but i wish you would have seen how terrified that knight was when he found me. it entertained me quite a bit, guess a thank you is in order for that.”

diluc doesn’t say anything but the guilt dripping from him is practically tangible, pooling around your feet and reminding you of the unpleasant argument you had earlier. as the sun begins to dip below the horizon and the sky turns a calming shade of orange, you realise just how long you spent away from him. no wonder why he was so frantic about finding you.

“the next time you storm out of the winery, can you at least let me know where you are going?”

you laugh at his proposition, unsure of how to respond but he stops. you’re forced to stop too when his unwavering grip makes you turn and look in the ruby eyes that set ablaze in the gold of the setting sun. diluc’s beauty is truly undeniable, and it’s moment like these that make you feel a little jealous that he was graced with such a gift.

“i’m serious, y/n, you worried me to end when you didn’t return after three hours. i thought something might have happened to you.” his gaze falls downward with his soft confession. “your safety is the most important thing to me, even when things between us are rocky, because- well, you know…”

your heart tightens and the step you take closer to him is instinctual, letting go of his hand to hold his face instead. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“no, you have nothing to apologise for, it was my fault for being so unbearable in the first place,” the red-haired shakes his head, his hands finding a home on your waist. “i’m sorry too.”

“i forgive you,” you hover a kiss over his nose, causing it to scrunch at the sensation. when you lean back, the softness in his eyes and smile is unmatched and you’re grateful that you’re the only one with the luxury of seeing him as such. the only person he’s let into his kingdom of concrete walls is you, gifting you a more vulnerable side of him that the rest of the world has not seen in years.

“i love you,” you murmur and diluc hums, tapping your waist three times in response. “oh but diluc, you must tell me how worried you were over me, i think i deserve to know.”

the red-haired rolls his eyes before dragging you down the hilly path back home. you are perhaps the only one in mondstadt who could perplex him to no end, but that is just another testament of the love he holds for you.

#earthtooz: genshin impact #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x y/n #genshin diluc #genshin fic #diluc x reader fluff #diluc fluff #genshin x reader

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scoutswritingcorner · 1 month

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Careful, Baby On Board

Cursed Cat Alastor

TW: The Vee’s, biting, Cursed Cat Alastor being a menace

A/N: I had an idea of Cursed Cat Alastor being in a babybjorn carrier

The day had started out fine, you had to do a few errands around the hotel for Charlie and Vaggie. You were currently finishing eating your snack, Catastor (You originally named it Cat Alastor but that was too long) in your other arm as you ate. It was purring loudly, slowly blinking as if it was about to fall asleep in your arm. It’s paws carefully making air biscuits as it looked around the room ignoring you as you ate your snack.

Sadly every moment of peace is broken in the ever busy Hazbin Hotel as Charlie walks into the kitchen looking guilty as she wrung her fingers together smiling at you. You looked up at her, “Yes Charlie?” You asked as you took another bite of the very very off brand granola bar you had found whilst digging around in the pantry of the kitchen without Alastor finding out but Catastor did find out easily. “So…I have another errand for you cause Sir Pentious accidentally broke one of the bar taps and the part we need is more in town and you’re the only other one who can go..Alastor won’t go near the Vee’s tower..” She explained before smiling at you, opening her mouth about to say something else but stopped when you shrugged, “Okay.”

“..okay? That’s all?” She asked, disbelieving that you would answer so quickly, “Yeah..I’ll head out in a second.” You hummed, throwing your trash away as Catastor made a little growling noise in response. “Hush grumpy boy, we are going on an adventure.” You whispered out to him giving him a gentle kiss to his head which made him start purring more. Silly cat behaves much like your darling deer man.

~~~

After looking at what broke and taking a picture of it to make sure you could find the right things you had headed into town. The only store that was close was sadly in the Vee’s distract of Pentagram City which was dangerous for most of the hotel- Angel because Valentino and Alastor won’t go anywhere near modern technology and barely anyone in the hotel goes this far into pentagram city. So it was up to you, which you didn’t really care much for as you usually tuned everything out and stayed in huge crowds to avoid Vox finding you. The fucking creep trying to either flirt with you and get you to leave Alastor or he just watches you.

Straightening out your jacket to keep Catastor from growling at the amount of modern technology around and calm in the babybjorn carrier you had bought and specifically custom made for him so you could carry him around with you easier. While he was practically light as a feather, your arm would get all tingly after a while, he also tended to pick a fight with anyone who dared venture too close for his comfort. Sadly lady luck was not on your side on this fine hellish evening, first when you got into the store they were completely out of the part you needed and it wouldn’t be shipped in until a week later, so you had to call Charlie and get her decision on what to do, then Catastor didn’t like how the store manager was looking at you and decided to have an early lunch which resulted in you getting kicked out after you had negotiated a reasonable way for them to deliver the item to the Hotel and finally when you thought your day couldn’t get worse. Vox had to show his face to you as you finally got Catastor calmed down enough to get back into the carrier.

You fixed your jacket and gave Catastor a little kiss on his head before turning around to immediately run into Vox’s chest. “What the fuck.” You hissed out angrily glaring up at the tall tv headed demon, who only smirked at you. “What the fuck indeed, I didn’t expect you to be out and about this part of pentagram city!” He said loudly causing you to flinch, you already felt a migraine building behind your eyes. The low static that emitted from Catastor started to become louder and louder by the passing seconds as Vox went on and on about something you couldn’t care about.

“What…what the fuck is that noise?” He hissed out his screen glitching in anger, “My baby.” you replied quickly making the overlord stop in his tracks, “You have a kid?” He asked, watching you nod and open your jacket to show the bright red and black fluff ball that was currently hissing and jerking its head in anger. Bright red dialed eyes glaring Vox down, as it easily escaped the carrier it was in, saliva and foam escaping its fangs. “This is my baby boy and bodyguard while my darling Husband is off doing his own thing.” You replied looking at your nails, nonchalantly.

Vox opened his mouth to say something but as his hand reached over to touch you that’s when Catastor pounced, claws digging into the Overlord’s chest and screen as he bit down anywhere he could. It was over in a flash as Vox had disappeared using his electricity and Catastor was standing where Vox laid before snarling and growling out wires in his mouth. You smiled picking him up, praising him as you took the red and blue wires out of his mouth. “Don’t need my bodyguard to get a stomach ache later.” You hummed walking back to the hotel.

Alastor is going to have a field day when he hears what happened with Vox. Maybe rub it in the overlord’s face at the next meeting.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #gn reader #cursed cat alastor #alastor hazbin hotel

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xiaours · 3 months

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EXCUSES

— they want to hold your hand, but don't want to say it directly.. what excuse will they make up?

pairing. wanderer, lyney x gn!reader (seperate)

cw. fluff, established relationship, hand holding, kisses, pet names

— WANDERER

"This area doesn't feel safe.. come closer."

Wanderer is a person who enjoys his pride. He wouldn't want to appear exposed to anyone, including, you. He wouldn't want to show any type of vulnerability in fear that you'll leave him eventually, but that is beyond doubt for your relationship with him. Further into the relationship, he still is a bit difficult.. learning how to love someone and all. He does not express his emotions much and will have to drop hints on what he wants. Whether that be soft kisses, quality time, or even the smallest ounce of your affection. Today was just a normal day like all the others. The two of you were out adventuring through the forest of Sumeru, breathing in the calmness of the peaceful environment. It was evident that Wanderer was thinking of something, but you didn't have any deep thought on what it would be. Walking down the forest path, you suddenly felt the warmth of one's hand in yours. Wanderer held your hand and looked around. Seeming as though he felt off. "I want you to be safe." You knew otherwise but didn't say much of it. Instead, every so often, you brushed your thumb over his knuckles. Providing comfort to his character.

— LYNEY

"My next trick only works when you hold my hand, ma très chère"

Lyney is mostly known for his tricks and frisky personality. Lyney has always flirted with you whenever he wanted to, even in the middle of his show. Even though you had thought it was demeaning at first, you had grown to love whenever he had looked directly towards you as he spoke one of his coquettish phrases. It was known to you that Lyney has always found some way to include your touches into his tricks, just like this particular day. It was a while after one of his magnificent shows. All the guests had left the Opera House amazed by the show they had just witnessed. Lynette had sat down at one of the tables in the back as usual, sipping out of her teacup. While Lyney was showing some of his more private tricks to you. You watched him loving as he did what he so very loved. Holding his cards in one hand, he reached his free one out towards you. "It'll only work when you grab my hand." This erupted a chuckle out of you, despite still holding his hand. He had softly held your hand while doing his trick one-handed, ending his trick as he bowed down, kissing the back of your hand.

translations.

ma très chère — my dearest

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slytherinshua · 4 months

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GIRL DINNER

genre. fluff. warnings. ...biting. pairing. anton x fem!reader. wc. 407. request. no. a/n. all bcuz @eternalgyu said she wanted to bite him when i sent her a pic 👹 the title is as impulsive as y/n in this fic goodbye

It was a peaceful afternoon, snuggled up next to Anton. His arm was wrapped around you, draped at your waist, completely relaxed. He scrolled through his phone, attention drifting off of you, though he was aware of your presence. You were drawing little shapes on the skin of his arm— the entire expanse of it available to you since he was wearing a t-shirt. Anton scrolled to the next tiktok on his phone, smiling at one of briize’s funny videos. He liked it and scrolled to the next one.

Everything was quiet and calm.

It was peaceful and relaxing. Just you and Anton.

Until Anton felt a gentle bite to his arm.

His eyes widened slightly and he turned to you, raising an eyebrow, “Did you just… bite me?” He whispered. It was clear that you did since your mouth was still suspiciously close to his arm, but he still asked.

You blinked at him, “Impulse.”

“Why do you have an impulse to bite me?” He asked, scrunching up his nose.

“Cause you’re so munchkin and pretty. I wanna eat you.” You mumbled, sinking back into his side, moving your head to rest on his chest instead of close to his arm.

“Cannibal.” He whispered under his breath, going back to his phone as if nothing had happened.

A couple minutes passed, enough for 15 more tiktoks and 4 kisses placed to Anton’s cheek. Just as he was about to show you a funny video that had come across his feed, he felt it again.

*bite*

“Y/n!” He whined, pulling his arm away from you finally and sitting up. It wasn’t like the bite had hurt or anything— you were very gentle, but your boyfriend wanted to cuddle with you, not have his arm bitten.

“What?” You asked, feigning ignorance as long as you could. Anton frowned.

“Am I yummy?”

“...Yes.” You whispered, biting the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. Even his reaction was adorable. He sighed and laid back down on the pillow, wrapping his arms around you again.

“You said you were tired. Just sleep. No more biting.” He mumbled, closing his eyes and pulling you to lie on top of him.

“Fine.” You said, frowning in fake hurt at your boyfriend. But he looked so peaceful laying there with his eyes closed that you couldn’t feel petty for too long, and eventually relaxed down to nap with him instead.

↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr, @chiiyuuvv

#﹒fics　 𓈃　ⵌ #k-labels #anton #anton lee #riize #riize anton #riize anton lee #lee chanyoung #riize lee chanyoung #riize chanyoung #riize fic #riize fluff #riize fanfic #anton fluff #anton fic #anton fanfic #anton x reader #riize x reader #riize anton x reader

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mikanotes · 5 months

Text

up close & personal

hyunsu ? x gn!reader

genre: what. mutual pining?

warnings: sweet home 2 spoilers, mentions of blood, injuries. hyunsu himself is a warning lowkey if u watched the last ep u probably get it… that’s all!

synopsis: You know Hyunsu so well. One year apart couldn’t possibly change that. Except if Hyunsu isn’t alone anymore.

authors note: realized at the end of this fic that i cld compare hyunsu’s current situation to venom like a little bit and that just makes everything so much easier somehow. anyways i don’t really like this but i needed to post smt for him after s2 so!

One year ago, you and Cha Hyunsu would’ve been sitting near the entrance of Green Home apartments, and he would be listening to you talk. One year ago, you would’ve firmly believed that by now, the world would’ve been restored to some kind of peace. It had, in a way, but certainly not in the one your past self would have hoped for. And certainly not the one Hyunsu would’ve wanted for the two of you.

Nevertheless, you remained grateful through everything— As much as you could manage. The shelter was as organized as possible and conflict was a surprisingly rare occurence. Things were alright. As long as you didn’t give time for the grief and terror to catch up to you.

But things couldn’t be calm forever. Especially not in the current state of your world.

When Eunyu disappeared with that man from the military, it only took a day before you grew restless enough to depart from the stadium. After all, Eunyu was the closest thing to a friend you had here, at this point. It only felt right to try and find her. And you did, surprisingly, along with a few familiar faces and an unknown one.

You didn’t expect for the evening you found your friend again to be the very same you would see the person you had considered closest to you at Green Home for the first time in… Over a year.

“Finally asleep.” you sighed quietly, watching Eunyu get the rest her body had probably been begging for. It was difficult to convince her you would stand watch and wait for your friend to wake up in her stead, but her exhaustion made her stop arguing eventually.

You turned towards the room he was in.

Cha Hyunsu.

You crossed your arms and sighed. One year without a single trace of him anywhere. And now he… Just reappears? You wanted to be surprised, but part of you really wasn’t. You were angry, just a little— Spending all this time telling yourself he was gone, only for him to come back as if nothing happened felt like a slap to the face. Still, you couldn’t blame him. Yet. You had no idea what happened to him during that time span.

You felt relieved, if anything.

After some hesitation, you walked over to the glass door. Your hand settled on the handle, pushing it open, before your eyes widened. Hyunsu was sitting on the hospital bed, stretching his neck quietly, not at all perturbed by anything. Hell, he even seemed peaceful.

More peaceful than you’d ever seen him.

You stepped inside quietly and let the door close behind you. Hyunsu continued to move his head, slowly, as if trying to relax, and didn’t acknowledge your presence. His shoulder was bloodstained, still, and his hoodie had cuts here and there. Messy as he appeared, this was your friend from Green Home, there was no denying it. You hadn’t even dared hope he could still be alive, after all this time. You couldn’t give your heart such a high possibility of suffering if he turned out to be gone.

And now he was here. So calm.

He opened his eyes with a soft sigh, before turning his gaze to you. “Finally decided to talk to me?” he asked. His tone was different. Too different. This did not feel like the kind of change that happened in a year. He smiled a little at your silence, tilting his head curiously. “No? Do you need more time? That would be too bad.”

He hopped off the bed with a huff and slowly walked over to you. The closer he got, the clearer it became that his eye color was different. Long gone was the blank, dark brown gaze that looked back at you when you two would talk— Replaced by a vibrant sky blue. A stark contrast from what you were used to, as was everything else about him, apparently. Be it his tone or his mannerisms, it all felt deeply wrong, like it wasn’t him at all. You furrowed your eyebrows but stood still, letting him walk to the very edge of your personal space.

“I’ve been waiting to see you for such a long while.”

“Huh?”

Hyunsu’s eyes widened a little before he grinned. This wasn’t … Him. Not exactly, at least. Not the one you talked to so much. But special-cases, or MH, essentially coexisted in one body. The monster forms around a person’s strongest desire, or whatever it was that scientist at the shelter said.

So perhaps, all the times you and Hyunsu had talked in the past had also been conversations that this side of him had been listening to.

A bit scary. You couldn’t really focus on that, though. You took a deep breath and looked at him.

“Is he well?”

He clicked his tongue, expression growing sour. “He’s fine. Let him get some rest. He’s tired.”

You nodded softly, gaze averting. That sounded fine enough to you. He was right, too, earlier— You had been avoiding talking to him since you met again. With the excuse of focusing on Yikyung and scavenging through the hospital, you had plenty of reasons to act as if you weren’t seeing the person you cared the most for after a whole entire year of thinking he was dead.

But you did feel his gaze on you the whole time. It was heavy, and remorseful. You’d planned to talk to him— In fact, that’s why you decided to come over to the room he was in. You hadn’t expected things to turn out this way, however. Seems like you couldn’t talk to your friend, yet.

“It’s nice to know you care, though.” he hummed, gaze never leaving your face. “He thinks about you so much, too.”

You looked back up at him. If this was the so-called monster part of Hyunsu, then what was his deal? A lot of questions about this situation flooded your head. “What are you playing at?”

He chuckled softly, before backing up just enough to hold up his hands in an innocent gesture. “Nothing as evil as you probably think.” he said, voice steady. “I just wanted us to talk. Just us.”

“Huh.”

“You see, your Hyunsu has an interest in you.” he said, tilting his head slowly. It felt as if he was analyzing you. It was a bit unsettling, but you didn’t bother breaking eye contact this time. “But I do, too. I’d say maybe… Even more than him?” his grin widened at his own words.

“I find it hard to believe you care about people.”

“And yet.” he scoffed, expression dropping to a blank one, seemingly annoyed. He dropped his arms to his sides and sighed. “We decided to work together. Couldn’t have him die on me, it wouldn’t be nice for anyone involved.”

You decided this Hyunsu seemed to mean it when he said they made a deal, just about as much as when he said he had an interest in you. So placing your trust in his bloodied hands for the time being, you tried to be less on guard. He wouldn’t kill you, or most importantly, Hyunsu. That was enough for now.

“Okay.” you sighed, crossing your arms. “So you want to talk?”

He smiled a little. “Yes.” he stated, before taking a step towards you. Only this time, he didn’t bother keeping a safe distance. His face was a touch too close to yours. “I’ve wanted to for a while.”

“You…” you paused for a moment, thinking. “Do you usually go around talking to people while getting so close to them?”

“I don’t go around talking to people.” he mocked your tone before scoffing, a grin pulling at his lips. He brought a hand up to your face, holding your cheek firmly. His focus turned to his hand, eyes narrowing in its direction. You felt his fingers loosen a little, as if he was trying to control how tightly he was holding you.

Which he was. Now it felt gentle. Almost unfitting. Not only that but the Hyunsu you knew was never this comfortable with anything close to physical affection. It felt so out of place.

“Does it bother you?” he whispered, eyes flitting over to meet yours again. He moved in closer, just enough for your noses to touch. He seemed to be having fun switching between looking at your eyes and at your lips. “Am I too close?”

Before you could think of a way to answer, you froze. The unfamiliar color in Hyunsu’s eyes dissipated, the cocky expression you were almost beginning to get used to replaced by a soft, almost startled one. His voice, much quieter now, whispered your name. Your eyes widened and you sighed in something akin to relief.

“Hyunsu.” you breathed out. The latter looked at you with a stunned look, struggling to find anything to say for a while. He looked into your eyes like he was making sure you were okay— Making sure you were really alive. His thumb moved back and forth softly over the skin of your cheek, his gaze scanning you in an almost panicked manner. He sighed shakily, before he brought your face into his shoulder. He seemed to be almost trembling.

“I’m sorry.” he exhaled, wrapping his other arm around your shoulders hesitantly. Still terrible at hugging. You’d missed those awkward displays of affection so much. “I… I’m sorry, it’s been… A very long time.”

“God, you’re so cruel, Cha Hyunsu.”

He tilted his head down into your neck. Now you felt his tears on your skin. He really hasn’t changed, you thought. It was obvious when he came running for help when Yikyung was badly injured, when he did everything to help her and went all the way to look for that kid— Cha Hyunsu hadn’t changed.

“I’m—”

“Quit apologizing.” you huffed, holding him tightly. “I missed you, too.”

Hyunsu sighed quietly, tightening his hold on you a little. He was relieved to finally have you with him again, but he couldn’t shake off his worries.

“You talked to… Him? Right?”

“I did.” you said, pulling away enough to look at him. The concern on his features was undeniable. “And it went fine. It’s okay.”

Hyunsu’s frown deepened. “I don’t know if it’s alright. Me staying… So close to you.”

“Don’t even think about disappearing on me again.” you warned, eyes widening. “I don’t care about any reason you give me— Don’t leave again.”

The boy sighed, averting his gaze for a moment, before slowly bringing it back to you.

“I won’t.” he assured, “I won’t leave you again.”

He closed his eyes and pulled you into another hug. He had to believe his existence on its own wouldn’t cause more problems for you to deal with. He had to trust that even if it did, you meant it when you said you didn’t mind. He knew you did. You always meant it.

He opened his eyes and looked at his reflection in the glass door just a bit further away. Seeing you in his arms should have been reassuring. But the blue hue of one of his eyes and the nagging voice in his head seemed to be laughing at his naivety. He pressed his eyes shut again and buried his face in your shoulder.

This is our priority, now. (I know.) No one else comes first. (I know.) Don’t let them get hurt.

I won’t.

#hyunsu x reader #cha hyun su x reader #cha hyunsu x reader #hyunsoo x reader #cha hyun soo x reader #cha hyunsoo x reader #sweet home x reader #x reader

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lavandiors · 2 months

Text

( 📁 compose with love. by lee mark ＿ ⭐ O1O1 )

where you accompany mark while he composes new music, but under the comfort of his arms you can't help but fall asleep.

𓍯 . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ─── pairing. lee mark x fem!reader. genre. fluff, cuddles, established relationship, mark being in love. warnings. a little suggestive (really little).

lily notes. i love mark, i really think he would make a very clingy boyfriend. he is my clingy boy. <3

you couldn't help but sit on his lap when you saw him. mark was so focused on composing his music, he didn't notice his glasses slowly slipping off his nose.

his brown hair stuck to his forehead thanks to the hat he was wearing. his glasses fell down the bridge of his nose as he leaned over your shoulder. his hands hit the table in search of creating melodies while his tongue hummed inside his mouth.

while one of his hands hit the table, the other emanated heat on your waist, caressing it with his thumb or lightly squeezing the flesh.

you placed your hand on his, caressing his fingers with yours. you heard him sigh for your soft hands between his hums. pleased by your soft touch.

you settled further between his legs, mark suddenly tightening his grip on your waist at your movements.

he sighed "don't move so much, baby" he told you, you were hitting his point and it distracted him.

you giggled "sorry" you kissed his cheek briefly, letting your head fall onto his shoulder.

he quickly kissed you back before continuing with his music. you stared at the ceiling as his throat next to your ear continued to work his vocal cords with melodies.

your waist was completely wrapped thanks to his arm, caressing your side from top to bottom. mark loved touching your skin, he loved feeling you in his arms.

and although he was more focused on composing, he could never stop paying attention to you. you were his warm stove when it came to affection. because you lit an effervescent fire in his chest.

when he saw you, touched you, kissed you, felt you.

he was composing music like a machine right now, because you were there. you were his inspiration, his oxytocin was produced by you, by your presence. you were his muse.

he turned to look at you slightly when he felt a sigh leave your lips and your head become heavier on his shoulder. you were falling asleep.

he couldn't help but smile when he saw your face. calmed down. in peace. your muscles didn't show even a hint of tension. you were calm in his arms, comfortable, safe.

his hand left the table to envelop you completely. composition could wait when it came to you.

he kiss your cheek silently, once, twice, three, four times.

"my beautiful girl," he murmured, feeling peace rushing through his body. his body and mind belong to you. his thoughts are yours, because you are the only thing that wanders in his mind.

he rested his forehead against your face, while his arms continued to surround you protectively. his hands sought yours, intertwining your fingers.

words were not necessary for mark, he felt you and could swear that you transmitted your love for him with your presence.

as he fell into the limbo of sleep, with you in his arms, he kissed you again. a warm, loving and sticky kiss, that conveyed more than a thousand words.

"i love you, my muse" he whispered before falling asleep.

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kitscutie · 5 months

Note

omg if you’re still wanting requests for coryo, maybe sm like he’s mentoring reader instead of lucy gray (she is safe and sound in 12 dw!) and they get reunited after r wins the games? maybe by some kind of fluke? i’ll leave it up to you bc i love everything you write babes <3

money, power, glory (coriolanus snow x fem!reader)

pairing: coriolanus snow x reader

warnings: none!

summary: coriolanus snow is your mentor, unlike the others he has a drive for your survival - it quickly becomes clear your bond goes above mentor and tribute.

a/n: this is not part of the snow and roses series but part two is coming very soon -hope you enjoy! also thank you so much to this anon - you're a cutie!

word count: 3.6k

join my taglist here!

The train ride to the Capitol was dark and lonely. It felt as though everybody had already found friends or were close to their fellow District tribute, yours wanted nothing to do with you.

Seeing as you were from twelve you were thin and weak, you knew that, you could feel it in the way your stomach rumbled on a loop every day or the way your head spun when you stood up but you never thought one of your own would turn their back on you.

You didn't think you stood a chance, simply another pawn in the Capitols game but still you had hope.

When the train stopped it jolted, tipping you over had you been stood up like Thornton your fellow Twelve tribute. He wasn't muscly but more so burly, it was clear his family was among the wealthier back home but compared to the Capitol it was nothing.

You stood up from your small corner, cowering away from the sunlight which blinded you upon the doors opening. You heard yells, presumably from your fellow tributes or even the 'peace keepers' as they tried to calm the crowds.

Below you, you saw a flash of red which stood out from the white uniforms and wall to floor grey cement.

Upon closer inspection snow white hair lay atop his head, prominent and proud.

Thornton jumped out of the box on his own accord, not prompted by the guards, nor the boy below you, simply motivated to get into the Hunger Games.

Your head slowly peered out from the box and that's when his eyes met yours, strikingly blue they seemed out of place in such a colourless setting.

"Welcome to the Capitol." He stuttered out, holding a rose which matched his hair out to you, it was beautiful, nothing you had ever seen back home.

"Thank you. Could you-." You began to ask for his help out of the train which staggered above the ground just below half of your height, though he realised quickly, holding your waist as he gently placed you on the ground in front of him.

Finally out of your cage you took the rose from his calloused fingers, admiring it in all it's beauty. It reminded you of him, soft and subtle yet powerful as it stood tall on it's stalk.

"This is beautiful." You said, it came out in something similar to a whisper, your body still adjusting to the new setting. "You look different," You said as you glanced around at the tributes in dirty hand me downs and the guards in plaster white uniforms. "Who are you?" You asked.

"I'm your mentor." He smiled charmingly, it seemed second nature to him.

"Where are the other mentors?" You once again asked, unsure if this was new or simply something you had missed as you sat watching the games between your fingers.

"Well, I'm not supposed to be here but, I'm sure greeting you falls in my line of duty." He said. "Taking care of you." He added which sent butterflies wild in your stomach. He was doing his job you reminded yourself but nobody back home was quite this attractive nor this attentive. You had never been taken care of. Always independent to survive.

You said nothing more, taking in all of his glorious features until a peacekeeper grabbed you arm, taking you with the rest of the tributes into an armoured van. You were once again alone.

You watched in surprise as just moments later your mentor jumped in behind you, standing against the back wall as if to not be seen in a packed and confined space.

"Hi." He said, realising he stood out like a sore thumb. It almost made you chuckle - his blatant fear but then you realised you should be much more scared.

"What's the matter pretty boy, you in the wrong cage?" Said Reaper. He was a tribute you admired, he was brave and strong and seemingly had a deep care for his friend Dill.

"No. This cage is delightful." He smiled. You were impressed by his natural appeal, well to you at least. Every word which came out of his pale lips had you hanging on by a thread.

With that Reaper had had enough, slamming him against the wall with power. "I'll kill you." He said convincingly.

"He'll do it too. He killed a Peacekeeper back in Eleven." Dill spoke as she stared into nothingness.

"I say we all kill him." Added Bobbin as he now stood up too, the other Tributes speaking out in agreement. You began to panic, he was your only source of companionship, of opportunity to leave the Capitol in one piece and here he was about to be ripped to shreds before the Games even begun.

"He's my mentor, could you please not kill him?" You asked pathetically as you attempted to stand between him and Reaper. A feeble attempt though an attempt none the less.

"How come you get a mender?" Said Coral, dirty gaze set now upon you.

"Mentor." He corrected her. "You each get one." He finished, hoping this would calm them in their attempt to kill him.

"And we'll all just believe you, huh? Why does Twelve here get special treatment." Coral replied, now out of her seat and very much in your face as she squished your cheeks between her grimy fingers.

"I'm not special, just lucky I suppose." You shrugged feeling heavily intimidated and under scrutiny by all of their hungry gazes. Eager to pull blood from you in this very moment.

The room went silent and at first you didn't realise why, until you felt your cage begin to shake, slowly tilting towards the ground. Your mentor's hands once again wrapped around your waist though this time from behind you and your own reached down to hold onto his wrists, having no stability.

You all screamed as you fell down onto hard wood chips and damp mud. Eyes were once again blinded by the harsh sunlight as you adjusted to wherever you now were.

A mans voice echoed around your new cage - how kind of them to give you multiple in such little time - seemingly introducing himself to the crowd around you before he spotted the red uniform.

"Excuse me, yes you sir, in the red! Who are you and why are you in there with them, we are live!" He asked, hair gelled to perfection to one side.

You grabbed your mentors hand as he stood frozen in his spot clearly unsure what to do, you however saw an opportunity, an opportunity to stand out.

"May I introduce you to my neighbours?" He asked sarcastically as though he really hated the people filming you like you wanted to be here.

With that the pair of you walked over, but not before he took the rose from your free hand and tucked it behind your ear. It burned under the warmth of his skin, not having had any form of physical touch for as long as you can remember.

"Hi. How do you do, my name is Coriolanus Snow, and this here is my tribute Y/N L/N from District Twelve." He said partly for the cameras partly introducing himself to you and you to him. He already knew your name. He had watched the reaping's, seen you cry in weakness.

"Hello." You mumbled partly shuffling to hide behind his body. Not used to such attention.

He focused his attention on you, firing questions at you over and over again until you had had enough. "More on my mentor, seemed he's the only one who bothered to show up." You said and the boy that you now knew to be Coriolanus rubbed his thumb back and forth over your hand as he sensed your discomfort being Infront of so many prying eyes.

"Well I would love to ask him some questions but it seems as though he's about to be whisked away." Lucky said and as soon as the words came out Peacekeepers appeared behind the pair of you grabbing him by the biceps and beginning to drag him away.

"Hey." You held onto him for one second longer. "Thank you for everything Coriolanus Snow. But uh, could you please bring me some food? I can feel my bones turning into dust as we speak." You said. He slightly chuckled at this but no less nodded.

With that, you were once again alone.

"Y/N!" You heard your name from behind the rock you sat against, instantly recognizing the voice to be Coriolanus Snow.

"That for me?" You asked as he pulled out a few pieces of food wrapped in tissue in front of you. He handed it to you through gaps in the fence, wordlessly answering your question. "Thank you." You said as you eagerly stuffed your face, this being the first meal you had eaten in days, no weeks.

"They not feed you back in Twelve?" He asked, concerned.

"No. We don't exactly get that luxury." His question surprised you, you assumed it was common knowledge that food was few and far between in the outer Districts yet here he was, surprised. "Seems your friend already knows that." You added as you watched a girl in a matching uniform to his teasing Brandy.

"She is not my friend she is poison with perfect teeth." He answered and yet again it sounded so perfect. He knew just what to say to please you, comfort your mind as you wondered at what point he would turn on you. "Listen, you can't share this with anyone. This is my only chance to help you and they-" He said discreetly pointing to the tributes scattered around you, "Are only going to use you."

"Not like I've got anyone to share with. Don't think I'm very popular." You said, defeated. You supposed that out of anyone, you didn't want to befriend the people who would shortly be wishing death upon you but instead the man before you who would hold your hand until the moment you walked through that door.

"Maybe not with them but out here you have a chance. I've made some suggestions, I might be able to get the audience to send you gifts. Food and water. You just need to play into their game, win them over." He said, face against the fence as he wished to keep this information between the two of you. An advantage.

"I don't want to play their game, the same game that got me here in the first place? I don't think charming anyone is my forte anyway." You once again deprived yourself of any credit, picking at the skin around your nails.

"You're more charming than you think Y/N. I'd bet on it." He said, gaze digging deep into your soul. No one had ever complimented you before never mind in such a blatant way. You knelt down, tired of standing and he went with you continuing your conversation.

"Dill reminds me of my sister, before she passed. So sick and weak, I hate to think of her in a place like this." You shared, feeling vulnerable to him in such a short time.

"I'm sorry." He said genuinely.

"You seem like a good man Coriolanus. Would've been nice to meet you outside of this cage." You said, tapping on the metal bars before letting it settle there.

"Mhm." He agreed, tilting his head sympathetically and after moment of what must have been deliberation he wrapped his own hand around yours. It warmed your skin, chilled by the cold iron beneath your palm.

Your sweet moment was cut off by Arachne's scream as Brandy had enough of her teasing, smashing the bottle and using it to slice her neck.

You stared in horror, this was what you were up against in that arena, you stood no chance.

Coriolanus leaped into action, comforting the bleeding girl while Peacekeepers shot Brandy down. In all of your years alive you had never witnessed such violence and it left you shaking, even more so as the bullets narrowly missed Coriolanus' head.

The Peacekeepers grabbed his arm, once again pulling him away from you, your heart beating in his direction.

The next day you were all placed in a large circular room. You and your fellow tributes shackled to a table while the mentors sat proudly, postures straight before you.

You were allowed to discuss game plans for the main event but also for a televised special where the Capitol could get to know you. Nut it wouldn't really be you, just a shell of your former self.

"I'm sorry about your friend." You sympathised, he was clearly upset, scared you weren't sure but his energy was different to his hopeful exterior from yesterday.

"Thank you. Are you doing okay?" He deflected, though his care seemed and was genuine. He cared about you more than the way a mentor cares for the tribute. Your connection went deeper.

"I'm scared Coriolanus. You saw what those tributes can do yesterday. I'm nothing compared to them! I've never even killed a spider." You cried out in desperation, hands shaking where they were tied to the table.

"I'm scared for you, Y/N. I don't want to lose you in there, so I guess that makes two of us." He replied, soothing you. "But no matter how scared you are you have to perform for them in the interviews later. Pretend to be someone else or be yourself it doesn't matter but this is the last chance to make them like you. Didn't take much for you to win me over." He added.

"I- I just can't Coriolanus. I'm no performer. I'm no different to them just weaker and a character in their entertainment." You answered, slowly admitting defeat.

"You have to be brave, Y/N. For me, okay?" He begged, once again placing his hand over your own.

"I'll try." You decided. You either died of embarrassment or an axe to the face and you knew which you proffered.

"Snow. Let's go!" Shouted Casca, the creator of the games. A man you loathed.

"You'll be okay." He said before he left his chair leaving you to sit in the large room as the other debated their strategies.

Later on once you were allowed to view the arena he returned. Instantly walking in stride beside you as if he never left.

The arena was void of light except the red beams which pointed out the entrance. It was eerie and honestly a fabrication of your worst nightmares.

This time in your fear you felt no hesitation to grab onto his hand, and he grabbed your back, linking you fingers with a squeeze which said to you 'it's okay' without saying anything at all.

Seeing the cameras you released it, not wanting unnecessary attention upon yourselves.

The gates closed behind you with a loud clang, leaving you in the darkness and you stumbled back into his chest, the only thing keeping you from a breakdown being the steady beat of his heart beneath his chest.

Shutters on each wall began to rise letting in the natural sunlight outside but yet you were still very much in another cage.

While the other tributes decided their alliances you stuck by Coriolanus' side and he had no objections. "Coriolanus you can't met me die in here. I've got so much left to do." You begged, clutching the opening of his red suit.

"I wont let you die, Y/N. Even if it's the last thing I do." He replied, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. His words were laced with truth, knowing his plans to bend the rules in order to keep you alive.

The moment was short lived as the centre of the arena exploded, rubble and smoke flying everywhere including into your forehead as you felt blood trickle into your eye.

Both you and Coriolanus ran, though he was seconds too slow as a pillar fell onto his leg trapping him against the floor. While the other tributes ran having little regard for their mentors you ran back, pulling it off of him with every last ounce of power in your body.

Your heart ached hearing his cried but also with the pain that this was most likely the last time you would see him before the games as the Peacekeepers found you and dragged you back to the 'zoo' before you could attempt escape like the others.

"Y/N." You heard your name whispered into the darkness of the night. You hadn't slept, not since the thought of Coriolanus being dead crossed your mind and so it hadn't taken much to catch your attention.

"You're alive, thank god." You cried. Seeing his face untouched calmed your racing heart.

"The bombs, they changed everything. I've been in there, you can hide, the floors gone. You can hide until it's safe. Run when it starts and don't come out until it's safe, please Y/N. Don't go for the weapons." He begged to you. You had planned to hide in the first place but his desperation for your survival warmed your heart.

"Thank you Coriolanus snow. For taking care of me. Just like you promised." You said to him, tears beginning to fall from your eyes, the same tears you hadn't let fall since the train arrived in the Capitol.

"Just like I promised." He smiled. "You saved my life in there Y/N." He added.

"I'm sorry." You said as you couldn't hold back your desperate tears anymore. You were sorry you wouldn't succeed for him, sorry this was the last time you would see him, sorry that your heart ached for him.

"It's okay, It's okay." He soothed you. Wiping your tears with his embroidered handkerchief. "I'm gonna get you out of there. I promised after all, right?" He repeated his earlier declaration of promise, it meant everything to you and yet nothing. At the end of the day your survival came down to you and you didn't know if you could handle blood on your hands.

"Is this all real? Between you and me, do you really-" You began to ask, though he cut you off.

"I care about you, Y/N. Really. No amount of money could make me do this for you, risk it all. The things you wanted to do, wanted to live for? I want to do them with you. I want to give you the life you deserve." He said and that was all the confirmation you needed, the feelings you were having were real. Not part of the game, not faked for the cameras.

He was here in the middle of the night to help you.

"We are gonna win this, Y/N. We are gonna win this together."

It had now been fifty four days and counting since you had last seen him. The games had come and gone, what you thought was luck leaving you a victor.

Days had been boring since Coriolanus Snow left your life. You returned to what you had left behind in District Twelve, friends, no family and a wooden shack you called a home.

Your heart longed to see him, more than anything in this world you wished to feel his hand in yours one more time. Hear his reassuring words one more time though now you needed them to comfort your nightmares.

Today was the same as every day had been. Get up, bathe in a bucket, eat vegetables you found in the forest and then read the same books you had for the past eighteen years. It was all you had but now more than ever it felt good to be stuck in that cycle instead of stuck in a cage of people who called for your death.

A knock at your door at mid-day startled you. It was unusual to get visitors in District Twelve - everybody keeping to themselves and yet something dragged you to answer.

Opening the door you saw a figment of your dreams. White hair, blue eyes and pale skin, yet they were too real and close to be something your brain created.

"Y/N L/N, you are a sight for sore eyes." He said, his voice like butter in your ears.

"Coriolanus?" You asked before he tackled you into a hug, hands gripping you like you would slip through his fingers at any moment in time. "How- what." You began to ask.

"I was sent to Eight to be a Peacekeeper but I used my last cents to get sent here instead, then I just asked around to find you. Find my girl." He said as he held your face between his hands, checking you over for injuries. The last time he was you you were injured and cowering in the arena, begging to be set free.

"You found me." You whispered, diving in to kiss him. He responded immediately, wasting no time in curling his lips into yours. You fought for dominance but ultimately you let him take over, needing to let go for once.

"I missed you so much." You whimpered in both pleasure and pain as he kissed and nibbled on your neck. Dream becoming reality. "I begged with every last but of luck within me that I'd see you again." You confessed, bringing his face up to kiss you once more.

"And here I am." He smiled, staring into your eyes, breathing the same air as you.

"I thought my life ended that day, in that arena. Losing myself, then losing you." You admitted, eyes similar to the last time you saw him, glassy.

"Y/N, Y/N." He chuckled, "Our life has only just begun."

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#coriolanus snow x fem!reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth #young!coriolanus snow x reader #thg #the hunger game fic

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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year

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hello ! i loved ur hcs for ghost x innocent reader sm, what do you think of könig x innocent reader? love ur writing ♡

König w/ an Innocent S/O

Warnings: Implications of Smut, Overprotective König, Rizzed-Out König, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You’.

There is nothing König won’t do for you.

Your overall calm, kind demeanour brings him peace he’s never known before.

And because of that – because he adores you beyond measure – he can get very…protective.

He often treats you as more fragile than you actually are.

Horror film playing in the background while you’re talking ? It’s getting switched off.

A picture of someone exposing a shoulder in a swimsuit catalogue? It’s getting thrown into a fire.

A pair of your own underwear left unattended next to the wash bin? König’s stuffing it into the bottom of the basket.

There comes a point where you have to tell him that, yes, while you may be a little naïve, even a bit oblivious, you’re not stupid.

And, as best he can, König treats you as you want to be treated, which is to say not as if you are a nigh-extinct species of flower.

And, given this new ‘power’ as such – this permission to show you the less rounded edges of life – König begins to have some rather self-serving ideas.

Regardless of if you like horror films or not, König will use it against you.

He’ll test your stomach for terror, putting something frightening on whenever you’re having date night to see if you’ll cling to him.

And if you do, irrespective of whether you fear what’s happening on-screen or not, his soul will ascend.

He can die happy when you hold on to him, nuzzling into his side while quietly asking him to “Hold me, Köni. Please.”

Makes him feel all big and important.

Wear his clothes around him, my God–

First time he saw you in his hoodie – after an impromptu visit from the Rain God made your original outfit unusable – he literally did a double-take.

He dropped the plate he was washing, grasped at it as it slipped between his soap-frothed fingers.

He just punched it into the sink, heard something crack, and turned his attention to you. And only you.

“I– You–” König couldn’t even form a full sentence as you stared at him, half-peeking from behind the door.

“You look…” He racked every file, folder and confine of his mind for anything to describe how he felt right now, how you made him feel.

It just came out as a strangled noise. And, smiling, you hurried into his arms.

You didn’t mind that they were soapy and wet. And neither did König.

Though, the only reason he didn’t was because his brain was so positively fried that he quite literally could think of nothing else except you.

The longer you’ve been dating, the more comfortable König becomes with being rougher with you, shall we say.

It all starts when you start doing things you never did before.

Like letting your hands slip lower beneath his waist, resting on his hips; Sitting on his lap when there are no other spaces available – and then eventually when there are seats available; saying his name like that – “Köni,” when you need help.

“I just can’t do it all by myself. I need someone big and strong to do it for me.”

And, regardless of how sincere you sound when you say it, regardless of how you bat your eyelashes and plump your lips when you look up at him, König is far too whipped to say no.

At first, König genuinely doesn’t think you’re doing it intentionally.

And neither do you, until you see the effect it has on him.

Making his cheeks flush and a pillow find its way to his lap when he sits on the sofa, your head placed precariously close to the growing issue between his legs.

Now, König isn’t the type to go throwing accusations around.

But when he catches you wearing his favourite hoodie, balancing on the edge of the kitchen counter to reach something placed on top of the cabinets (and I don’t mean the top shelf; I mean on TOP of the cabinets – like when you’re hiding a Christmas gift), your underwear peeking just below the hem, he can’t take it.

He knows what you’re doing.

And now that you’ve let onto him, with your doe eyes and your exasperated “Köni, I need you–” he’s gone. Snapped.

Just because you’re “innocent” doesn’t mean you’re exempt from König’s wrath.

To put it plainly, König didn’t seem so shy or frightful of damaging that night as he pinned you to the wall and took you for the first time <3

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

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