#it’s just!!! just. starting at level one was Such a choice and i’m very glad for but bc the implications are just. So Much.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

MWIII Campaign Thoughts and Reviews

(Played in the recruit difficulty because I suck at FPS games, and I want to explore and spent time in the campaign without dying too much). Leave some thoughts!

⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️

So… that was devastating. 

(+) To start things off, Makarov - Boy, holy shit. Yes. YESSS. They didn’t hold back with the new Makarov. He’s a mastermind, he’s a charming fella, he’s a psychopath lol. And the fact that he smiles a lot in this campaign just adds to the creepiness. I might get some side-eye here, but this Mak can go head-to-head with the OG!Mak. He’s always onto something, he’s proven destructive, had the 141 hauling ASS to chase him.

Makarov had stolen American missiles from ULF, caused false flag missile attacks on Russian Military base, and successfully orchestrated a false airplane hijacking, all under ULF's name - everything in the span of 48 hours since he got out of prison. I saw people saying that this Makarov ain't got nothing on the OG one has to be inhaling some shit copium because this is only in one single game and he's destroying shit.

I know just one game with rushed development won’t be enough for an iconic character like him, so I’m glad they didn’t kill him.

(-) I absolutely ABHOR, DETEST, LOATH the Open Combat Missions (OCM). It is so very not Call of Duty campaignesque. it doesn’t help anything with the narrative, and if anything, it even took away the narrative for us. The former missions in former games are iconic in their own way because the mission designer put a lot of thought into how the game will be played, the situations we found ourselves in.

But OCM's, we're like... Left to our own devices without any story-driven dialogues.

I think one of the reasons why MWII was so close to everyone's heart was because of the banters between the characters, especially in Alone. Here, because it's literally our choice and our time, it left us with no actual given time to know and love the characters more than we already did. Yes we love the characters, MW19 and MWII did that for us. But in this one? They said "character development is done, mate. Now go to war.”

Then again, is OCM a product and evidence of MWIII’s rushed development? 100% yes. I don’t give a shit if they cover it with “oowh we make OCM so you can play the missions differently each time without repeating the same mission over and over again!”. Let me ask you this, Activision - Have ‘repeating the mission over and over again’ been a problem with us campaign-enjoyers? No! I played the MWII campaign like 5 times, in all difficulty (except realism I still love my life), and I enjoyed it, because the mission designers took a lot of time and thought to it instead of just creating a map, putting a bunch of loadouts scattered around the area and throw us in it. So yes, it’s clear that OCM is a product of rushed development. It sucks the life out of the campaign missions.

Some people may enjoy it, but I play the campaign exactly for the linear style missions, not DMZ style.

(+) Look, I said it before that I will go to the campaign with the lowest expectation possible. I expected Mak to be sub-par, I expected them to play safe with the characters, and BOY WAS I WRONG. Setting aside the point above where the character feels stuck on the character development (which is a huge minus btw), all the characters have time to shine in their own missions, especially Price because I feel like we play him the most. However, I do also love the fact that the girls get shit done here. Farah and Laswell did their work so beautifully and apparently it was revealed that Laswell will be a MP operator, so that’s cool. 

(+) Ghost being a menacing presence, can stood his ground. Price being level-headed though at the same time unhinged as usual. Gaz being the voice of reason throughout the entire fucking game LMAO. Soap being the brave man he is, the passion and fury is evident throughout the campaign. Farah being badass and dependable as usual. Alex being the main supportive guy to Farah (Faralex is canon at this point argue with a wall). Nikolai being our most reliable get-away guy.

And of course, Graves and Shepherd being the fucking goofy ahh duo I actually find interesting. The trial cutscene was such a goofy scene LMAO the fact that they backstabbed each other in the ass is real funny. I side with Graves though. However wrong and unhinged he may be, Graves is just a guy doing his job and did what he’s told to do.

(+) I love the fact that Mak tried to frame Urzikstan to pin the blame on them. It's exactly what the OG!Makarov did but in HD. The Passenger mission is phenomenal and more damn traumatizing if only it was a bit longer and more stretched. There are many more reference to the OG games and I absolutely love it.

Now…

Soap’s Death

Remembering all the MWII missions with Soap... It hits differently now, man. 

(-) I've read a lot of people's arguments about it that the fact that it happened is just for shock value and kind of disappointing. Because let’s be real here, Soap is an SAS who got the name Soap because of how much of a slippery bastard he is. Granted, Mak is an ex-Spetsnaz and can fight with Soap. But how he went down in a goddamn takedown without any chance of fighting is just… it’s not it.

To add to that, the reaction from the boys is just... Underwhelming? Like I get it they're battle-hardened SAS soldiers, but let them show some damn emotions for fuck’s sake. One of the main reason why the OG!Soap’s death is really painful is because of Price’s reaction to it. How he said “NO. NO NO NO SOAP!!” While he shook Soap’s lifeless body in the table. At least let Price kneel to him, straighten his body, touch his vest. Close his eyes, gather Soap’s hand and PUT HIS GUN ON his chest all the while Ghost and Gaz knelt beside them. I do love the fact that they literally went to Scotland to let go of his ashes with Ghost holding the urn though. I cried in this scene. 

And the fact that it happened with the shortest campaign out of all the reboot MW games, it just felt rushed. Yes. It’s completely rushed, there’s no doubt about it. Again, the result of rushed developments.

(+) Now, with that said, I kind of want to shed light on how Soap is literally the youngest guy in the group. He had so much to live for. He's a sunshine in the middle of this gruff emotionally hardened man. He's such a joy to be around. He's brave. He's fresh. The fact that he's got so much to live for adds to the sadness and bitterness, which I actually like.

Sometimes I do kind of like those kinds of deaths, where the character is too soon to die,  because it hit so much harder and in a different way than the OG! one. We got to see the OG!Soap went from when he was an FNG, turn to a captain, to a man of fortitude that  earned Price's honor and sacrificed himself to protect Price. We saw how he developed and changed. We saw his entire career with us throughout all the OG!MW trilogy.

Reboot!Soap's story barely even started, and the fact that he's still so young, imagining how he'd be one hell of an officer, how he'd lead his team in the future. 

OG!Soap’s death is sad because all the times and memories we’ve been through with him, but Reboot!Soap’s death is equally sad for the times we could’ve gone through with him.

I want to say this though, some people said that Soap's death is sudden, but I wouldn't agree with that. I think the telltales are all there.

In the helicopter scene after Price and Soap caught him in Verdansk, Mak literally SAID HIS FULL NAME. That is a literal pinpoint death sentence from Makarov. And how emotional Soap’s reaction is compared to the other boys when the airport blew up. The signs are literally all there! I saw it coming actually. 

So is Soap’s death rushed? Yes. Could it have been executed better? Yes. Is it for shock value? Yes. But is it as sad? Yes. Honestly, I blame the rushed development and due dates for this. Activision is a cash grabber who wanted a yearly release so they can catch more money. I fucking bet my ass that initially they didn’t want to kill Soap, but it’s like a last-minute decision to make this game actually look like it’s worth 70 dollars. 

Like by the end of the game, nothing has been accomplished. Big Bad Guy is on the loose, and we lost Soap. Yea we did stop some of Makarov's attacks, but we ended with a loss. It's a completely sad ending. I just wish we get to continue with more missions after Soap's death like in OG!MW3 though :(

WHAT'S NEXT?

Now. Shepherd is positively fucken dead. Price is now an actual criminal and a fugitive. He just killed a 4-star US Marines general in his own office. Price is entering his insane and unhinged era. I do wonder if he'll go even more unhinged than this.

The story will undoubtedly continue in the MP seasons (although probably only 2 seasons that mattered because it'll also undoubtedly be filled with skins and collabs and shit). I think it will also focus more on transitioning to the next CoD games, which will be Black Ops (It is confirmed that for the 2024 and 2025 CoD, it will be Black Ops games).

We're talking future here, so if there's going to be a CoD MWIV, It might be possible that this is the game where we'll finally defeat Makarov while the 141 copes with losing Soap. I do wonder if Price will become too unhinged and will get rid of everything on his way to kill Mak. Price's reckless acts will become too much for Gaz that it's starting to hurt other people and himself, and Gaz will do something against Price's command or wish - and Ghost will have to choose a side. Now that's the kind of drama I want to see.

What do I score this campaign, what do I score this campaign... The story is actually good, but because the development is evidently rushed, the packaging feels a bit hollow. It's a 7/10 for me!

---

Wait you know what

We get to pet a dog named Riley. 10/10, Game of The Fucking Year.

Reboot!Logan/Hesh (?) 👀

---

So there it goes! If you've read this far I love you and Activision will pay for my therapy (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

#call of duty modern warfare iii spoilers #call of duty modern warfare 3 spoilers #mwiii spoilers #mw3 spoilers #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw #cod #call of duty modern warfare III #call of duty modern warfare 3 #call of duty modern warfare 2023 #task forc 141 #tf141

[lonelystarrs]

Bathbomb

Blue Lock - Barou Shouei x FemReader

Barou was shit with expressing himself and even worse with words, good job you had the skills he lacked even if they reduced him to a sub.

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI • aged up characters to mid 20’s • blue lock is in the past & in soccer careers. Handjobs (male receiving) • smut • slight angst with comfort on Barou but he pays for his attitude in the best way • established relationships • fluff •

A difficult start to the week brought a stand off between Barou and you, this wasn’t the first time and as far as you were concerned it certainly wasn’t the last. As heavenly as that mouth of his could be, it could get vicious and when it mixed with his ego it was a nasty combination. Most the time Barou would insult his way through conversations but still do caring things on the side, shit with words and great with actions. This time his words went too far, you weren’t hurt but you were intrigued to see if he could live up to them.

You’d only jokingly said you dunno what he’d do with it you, his reply?

“A king doesn’t need a queen, I’d be fucking fine!”

The man did things his own way on or off the field and you very much let him take his lead to realise his own mistakes, you weren’t about to waste your time fighting his stubborn ass. You’d known him too long, been with him too long. Playing him at your own game was the way to win with him, Barou needed to nose dive before he started to reflect. He had a system for everything -cleaning, bathing, working out even his emotions and thought process.

You just had to wait out his little system with your own.

Barou however, didn’t know that -yet. Only that you’d gone almost a full week now without talking to him and he was getting in his head -she’s gonna leave.

You gave him just enough to think he had an opening but then you shut it down immediately after.

His stubbornness lived to it’s reputation on day one… you didn’t wanna talk? Fine. He wasn’t breaking a sweat over it.

That very much started to change by day two of you ignoring him because he started to fidget, you’d happily slept on the couch and Barou let you -if that’s where you wanna sleep, whatever that’s your choice. He’d enjoy his nice bed all to himself without your cold ass feet pressing into him cause you thought it was funny.

But it wasn’t a sleep filled night, he decided he hated your shared bed not being shared. But he said nothing, instead he made you breakfast before he left for an early morning run without you and returned to it still sat on the side whilst you had showered and left for the day.

The man didn’t realise his lips ever so slightly pouted whilst glaring hardly at the protein pancakes with fresh fruit and yogurt, drizzled in honey.

The next few days went on in radio silence, made worse by his 4 days away for training.

“Travel safe, love ya.”

Pft it was half assed of you not worthy for a king, for him. You’d waved your hand over your shoulder and carried on scrolling through your phone… He didn’t get his kiss either. He made it to his hotel and the quietness felt heavier than usual.

Barou > I’m here.

Wife > Glad you’re safe.

No you weren’t his wife, but he liked how it popped up on his phone -especially if others seen. It sent his ego soaring on another level different to soccer. Barou wasn’t a man with words, in fact he was useless expressing himself but his actions made up for his lack of skill there.

He grumbled and he threw the phone behind him on the bed, eying his duffel bag before reaching for it and looking inside a particular pocket.

No note.

Man you really were pissed at him.

You always left him some stupid note when he went away, sometimes a few in different places if he was gone for awhile. He’d kept them all, unknown to you, he had a box with them all in. His favourite was shoved between his phone and the case at the back.

‘You’re mine king, always.’

The words alone made his hair stand on end. Where Barou failed with words, unless he was fucking you dumb, you certainly were good with them.

Probably too good sometimes, you always kept calm around him, and spoke calmly making him rethink his manner.

You being the only one who stood up to him in a way that made him enjoy it -that made him respect you.

Barou Shouei wasn’t scared of anyone knowing he respected his woman and he wasn’t scared of letting everyone know you were his. Those shitty names and degrading he called people on the field?

Words like that never touched you from his lips. Never donkey, peasant no nasty nicknames. Sure he was gruff, he wasn’t polite, he’d throw the odd insult -he was Barou, it wasn’t like he melted into a pathetic love struck puppy around you.

The giant grump stood and walked from his bedroom hearing his team mates down the hall getting rowdy already. Deciding to take a shower he moved to the bathroom , red eyes swept said room already made messy by the others shoving their crap where they pleased.

Wet towel on the floor, water and shower gel fucking everywhere.

Eye twitching his temper rose quickly. He grabbed the sopping wet towel and stomped to the main room, hurling it at the nearest person. The comical wet slap hitting whoever’s head, the towel wrapping around it and flooring him from the impact. -all in one smooth movement that silenced his team mates.

“When did Barou get here?!”

“You slobs! Pick up your shit you fucking animals!”

World tournament was coming up and he was getting hit hard. Exhausted from four days hard practice and shitty sleep he was on his way home. He was tense, grumpier and more short tempered than usual, that’s what made him snap at you 6 days ago.

He had taken it out on you and you were certainly living up to your reputation on having some fucking hold over the king. His lack of sleep was evident, constantly side eying his phone the last few days not actually knowing what to fucking text you because he was shit with emotions and words.

He frowned hard, red eyes now glaring at the elevator buttons as they illuminated silently as they past each floor.

Only five away from your shared pent house apartment. He sighed heavily, chewing the inside of his cheek before sucking his teeth.

Yeah, Barou learned from pain and he’d learned hard years ago when you did leave him.

You both worked better together you always had and always would. A foundation he learned at bluelock -teamwork.

The split was difficult, he suffered playing his soccer, much to his annoyance, like when Isagi had knocked him for six the first time and you suffered in your own career. You lost weight, you lost that annoyingly bubbly personality that he could only tolerate in you.

You see Barou and you went waaaay back, like before bluelock. You had always been in his life, probably more for him than he was for you come to think of it.

When you left him and still suffered? He knew what he did was wrong, he absolutely was an egotist but he was also someone who could learn and adapt to change, he wasn’t a coward. So he went after you, demandingly so, nothing subtle either. Safe to say it resulted in the most amazing sex of his life and gaining you back. But he always remembers how shit it felt away from you, especially at times like this.

Occasional arguments bloomed over the years, even now at your mid twenties and living together for a good 4 years.

But that feeling of you leaving was curdling his stomach, he didn’t want that shit happening again but he didn’t know how to reach out.

The elevator dinged dragging him from this thoughts and turned his eyes to the small hallway that led to the door.

The door you were behind, the person that hadn’t text him or answered his calls over the last five days of him being away.

It was painful, he wasn’t even angry now he was just feeling like shit. His mood and energy was spent on the field, into harsh training and now it was drained from him he just didn’t have the energy to run off this shitty feeling biting at his heels.

“Oi, I’m home.”

He expected silence and he got it, he dropped his duffel bag by the door and kicked off his shoes, placing them neatly in the place they belonged -of course.

He had enough of this, Barou never did anything half assed and he didn’t like those who did.

So Barou picked up his pace as his annoyance started to boil as he walked through the penthouse looking for you, he walked into the bedroom and noticed a dull light flickering under the bathroom door.

Opening it he was graced with the sight of you in your large ass bath tub sat in the middle of the bathroom, candles were lit and you had way too many bubbles in there as usual.

One leg rested over the knee of your other that was bent up, calf resting on the joint as your foot bounced subtly, bubbles gracing your skin as you glowed under the candle light reading a book.

He almost groaned. God you were beautiful, even with your hair in a messy bun, few loose strands suck to your face from the heat of the bath. Bubbles dancing across your skin as it glowed under the candle light.

He’d been told many times he was punching, he’d seen the articles about how Barou’s partner was unworldly. You were worthy of a king -of him, his ego wouldn’t let him admit it but you shone brighter and truthfully? He wouldn’t have it any other way, after all Barou respected his woman -the world knowing wasn’t an issue.

He is better with actions than words after all.

You flicked your eyes up before returning to the book.

“Welcome home,” you said dryly

“Tch, doesn’t feel like home when you’re acting like a fucking brat.”

“Try again, Barou.” You replied calmly, eyes not leaving the page you were reading.

His jaw clenched.

Fuck sake you were right.

That wasn’t the right approach, he’d just been thinking of ways to fix this and that’s the shit that came from his mouth?

He sighed heavily, shoving his hands into his joggers he hunched his posture, glaring off to the candles as they sat innocently under his death glare.

“Stop ignoring me,”

You hummed but only flicked the page.

“Please,” he said through gritted teeth, his eye beginning to twitch at you testing his temper.

“Look, if you’re done then just get to it.” He blurted out, his insecurities fully crashing onto him as you still ignored his attempt -as shitty as it was.

“Done?” You repeated, turning your head to him finally giving him attention, he side glanced at you before returning back to the candles.

“Done with us, just stop fucking dragging it out.”

He heard you sigh heavily, the bath water swishing as you moved. Barou turned his eyes to you when the book hit the floor, following the hand that hung over the tub to see your arms crossed over it, head resting in the fold of your arm smiling at him.

“You’re hopeless Barou, get in.”

He wasn’t a guy who needed telling once, let alone twice. He stripped quickly and in a few strides came to the edge of the tub. Your eyes watching every muscle in his body flex as he moved, this guy was huge and built like a god and it was always a sight to see. You did try your best to ignore his cock between his legs that he was blessed with, thick and heavy even soft.

He stood in his natural confidence that mixed with being unfazed about life.

“Shift it then woman,”

You smiled at him coly and shook your head,

“Nope~ you’re in front today. I’ve got my bath pillow in here and you really don’t deserve that.”

He rolled his eyes and stepped in, settling between your legs as you were left to stare at his huge back. Your knees half bent up and resting beside his ribs, wanting to just wrap your arms around him and hug the shit out of him but you refrained.

He sighed heavily as the water soothed him, your smooth skin gracing his sides and despite the small touch it was enough to ease that crappy feeling in his stomach.

“Why is it you women gotta have the water so shittin’ hot?” He grumbled, seeing his skin turn slightly red already, the steam dancing against the candle light.

Your hands gripped his shoulders to pull him back to lean against you, his head resting against your breasts using them as a cushion and you began to comb his hair with your fingers.

“Oh? You shared baths with many women, Sho?”

“Don’t ask stupid fucking questions, know full well s’only been you.”

“I don’t doubt it, you scare off most people.”

Silence consumed you comfortably as you combed his hair until it fell out from its shape, dark locks floating in the water around his shoulders and against your breasts.

“Read it somewhere,”

“What?”

“I read it somewhere and the peasants -they’re always talkin’ shit in the locker rooms.”

You kissed his temple whilst laughing lightly, giving his scalp a nice scratch.

“I didn’t doubt you, if anything you’re too loyal.”

Barou sneered, his hands moving to your legs giving them a squeeze before using his thumbs to rub circles into the muscle of your calves.

“You’re completely oblivious to girls hitting on you. Still makes me laugh when that girl tried giving you her number in that cafe on a napkin and you used it to clean your hands thinking she was the waitress without even looking at her.”

You couldn’t see the smirk twitching at his mouth, but he enjoyed the feel of you laughing under him. It was true, he’d often just glare at everyone and look down on them regardless of gender. He simply didn’t care about anyone else unless it was himself, soccer and you. Eh and his lil sisters.

And cleaning of course.

Maybe pudding too.

“-I literally left you for five minutes to get a spoon and you got hit on.” You finished.

Your lips touched his skin again and he exhaled heavily as you tugged his hair to tilt his head back, trailing kisses to his strong jawline.

“But you’re just such a good boy,”

That did it.

He groaned, his cock twitched as you continued to place wet, loving kisses whilst massaging his scalp and pulling his hair.

He held his breath as your spare hand ran down his front, you pulled his hair back harshly to expose his neck, a growl left his throat and his hands tightened on your legs. Your teeth grazed his Adam’s apple, tongue working against his sweet spot beside it.

“Shit,” he husked, the vibrate felt against your tongue as he spoke.

It didn’t take long for his dick to rise from the water, resting heavy on his stomach tip easily reaching his belly button. Your fingers danced around his six pack, short acrylics grazing the tip. His hips rose slightly to encourage your touch and you allowed it, wrapping your fingers around him upside down into a fist you used your palm to rub the head of his dick as you stroked downwards. Palm giving him constant friction under the bulb of his head, precum smearing to aid it.

The growl in his throat was enough to make you clench around nothing, his hands moved up to your thighs as they tightened under his grip and he squeezed your legs harder.

“You’re so big Sho’” you purred into his ear, he hated the nickname but telling you only encouraged your use of it so he let it slide, besides when you were praising him like this and hand fucking his cock like that?

He’d let you call him fucking anything.

His hips rolled upwards again and you stilled your hand to let him fuck his own dick into it. He was so big, your finger wrapped around barely touching your hand and his length over your palm to rub along your wrist as he thrust up. Fingers digging into your thighs whilst you kissed and tongued his throat.

Your eyes watching how fluid his hips rolled, dick moving like it would if it was inside you. The bath washed swished gently with his controlled movements. You moaned against his neck and bit into him, pulling his hair again whilst squeezing his cock harder; you felt it flex in your hand.

Sweat started to roll down Barou’s head, to his neck as he participated in one of the hottest things he’s done with you.

“You want me cummin’ here or on that pretty mug of yours?”

You smirked against his neck, Jesus even his voice carried testosterone, he was so fucking gruff and deep.

“Like this,” you murmured,

“Tch, what a waste. Grip it tighter then-“

His thursting picked up, becoming sloppy as he chased that high he was almost about to reach, you felt his cock harden and throb, his hands denting their finger tips into your thighs. His grunting picking up and you released him completely.

“The fuck you playin’ a-“

Barou went to sit up but you gripping his hair painful and forced him back, lips moving to his ear you nipped at it before whispering into it.

“Grab your dick, Barou, show me how you take care of yourself and I’ll forgive you.”

You smirked against his neck as his dick flexed against his stomach at your words.

Oh, you were always so fucking good with words.

“Tch, you fucking serious?”

“Yup~!”

You sang whilst placing a kiss to his cheek.

He wasn’t one to back down from a challenge, hands leaving your thighs he moved them, one hand fisting around his thick cock that still looked huge in his own hands. The other moved to his balls to cup and fondle, his palm rolled over his head spreading pre and his hips bucked.

“Don’t be whinin’ at me later when you’re begging to cum and I don’t let you, you’re fuckin dead.”

The pace he set himself was ruthless, harsh even and he was thriving on driving himself into over stimulating himself. His head rolled back onto your shoulder and you cooed in his ear, his stomach muscles clenching as he fucked his hand chasing that high again.

“Look forward to it, king but for now listen to your lil queen hmm? Fuck your fist f’me.”

© pharix 2023 permission is not given to repost, translate or post anywhere else.

#bllk fluff #barou x reader #blue lock #barou x y/n #barou shoei smut #barou shouei #barou shoei #bllk barou #bllk x female reader #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x reader #bllk angst #blue lock angst #angst with comfort #bllk angst comfort #Barou angst #blue lock thirst #bllk thirst

[callsign-relic]

I was hoping to request some more first contact Rodimus 👉🏽👈🏽 Now that him and the resident human can communicate he's learning exactly what their boundaries are. Basically him just realizing how smothered they felt and falling into a much more comfortable and tentative friendship. Maybe she even explains how she doesn't like some of the things he did like not being given a choice w the laying on top of his chest plate thing?

Aahhh I’m happy to do some TCFC!Rodimus for you! After this request I did note in my rules that if you’d like a First Contact Rodimus separate from my Too Close For Comfort series you’re more than welcome to do that, it’s explained further in depth there! But seeing as you specified events from TCFC I’m assuming you’re asking for a continuation, which I’m happy to do for you :) and for those who aren’t familiar with my Too Close For Comfort series, you can find all of the parts either in my masterlist or under the tag “#too close for comfort fic”, which is listed below!

Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: SFW, GN!Human!Reader, First Contact AU

The bots did keep their promise— the Lost Light was now headed back towards Earth. But seeing as you were lightyears upon lightyears away from your home by now, you had a feeling you had a very, very long trip ahead of you.

While part of you dreaded that fact, you at least felt some relief in that now you had a voice. Gone were the days of getting dragged along against your will, with these Cybertronians none the wiser. They could understand you, and you could understand them, all you needed now was the glue to piece those two parts together: decent communication.

And that was something that, to your surprise, both you and Rodimus were keen on upholding.

There were your high days and low days, of course. Sometimes you didn’t wanna be anywhere Rodimus— your homesickness getting the better of you and pushing you away from everyone.

But there were other days where you somehow found you adored spending time with him.

Standing high in the air up on the captain’s shoulder, watching the world race by as he merely walked. Seeing the world at his level almost made you forget you were the odd one out here. You’d feel the constant presence of the captain beside you, the feeling of every little motion he made running waves through your comparably tiny form. A small huff of air blows past you, and you turn your head upward to see Rodimus gazing at you with a small, sweet smile— huffing a small chuckle through his nose.

“What?” You ask, playfully raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms.

“Oh, nothing,” he replies nearly instantly, shifting his head back forward, but keeping his attention focused on you through the corners of his optics.

“C’mon, Rodimus— I know you well enough to know when something’s on your mind.” You lean forwards just a bit to try and make better eye contact. “Well, I mean. It’s not like you’re very subtle to begin with.”

The orange mech laughs, “Hey!” and you find yourself laughing too. “I-I dunno’, I just…”

When Rodimus trails off, your grin fades. A dark, familiar feeling stirs within you. No, you couldn’t think that way anymore— Rodimus had changed. You and he had both agreed: you had started fresh now.

“I’m… glad to see you like this,” he finishes, and you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

You tilt your head, “What do you mean?” You had a feeling that this conversation was going to be a hefty one, so you took the opportunity to get comfortable— taking a seat upon the mech’s shoulder and dangling your legs off the side.

Rodimus struggles to find his words, stammering for a moment as he turns to look at you fully. “Not sure, I mean… seeing you happy, I guess.” When you offer another raised eyebrow and a disbelieving smile, the captain chuckles. “You know what I mean! Actually happy! And not in the way that’s just me imagining it cause I couldn’t understand you and was too worried about how cute you were.”

“What?”

“Uh— ignore that last part!” He scrambles to say, and you have to hold your stomach from how hard you ended up laughing. “Look, all this is to say is— I’m… I’m glad we’re okay now.”

Once you cool down, you look up into the mech’s blue optics and offer him a little smile of your own. “I am too. I mean, back before everything, I didn’t really feel like my own person anymore. You were nice to me, of course, but there were a lot of times where I felt… dragged along. Without any real regard for myself.”

Rodimus’ expression falls, and he looks at you with furrowed brows. “What do you mean?”

You absentmindedly fiddle with your hands as you go on, “Well, uh… take for example, that night we were going to sleep and you laid me on your chest? You might have not thought much of it, but in reality, I felt… kind of terrified.”

The captain began to slow as you spoke, and though you felt it beneath you, you didn’t let that stop you from continuing— even when he eventually came to a stop. “Your… your hand was directly on top of me and I was scared of waking you up and you putting me, like— on your neck or something,” there’s a slight chuckle to your words, but the memory still stings. You didn’t even realize you had long broken eye contact with Rodimus by now.

“But… then I felt your heartbeat underneath me, and that’s really what scared me. The fact that I’m so… small, compared to you. So small that even a natural function like that shook me to my core.”

You only manage to look up when you notice Rodimus wasn’t speaking. The sorrow you thought would be spread all over his faceplate looked more like… confusion, than anything.

“I’m sorry, ‘heartbeat’?”

You’re taken aback— you don’t think you’d have to explain something like that to him. Was he being serious? “Uh, you know. Your heart? Beats in your chest? Keeps you alive?” You pound your fist rhythmically to your chest a couple of times for good measure.

The captain only blinks. “Do… is that what you call your spark?”

“My what?”

“Your spark,” he repeats, as if it was common knowledge. “Beats in its chamber, keeps you alive.” He also pounds a servo to his chassis— the clanging metal vibrating through you and stinging your teeth.

“Okay, okay, point taken,” you laugh, and it warms your heart a little to see a smile return to Rodimus’ face. “But, really, do you get what I mean?”

“Yeah, I do. Again, I’m sorry I made you go through that,” he says earnestly, and you give him a nod of thanks. Then, a yellow servo rises before you— the mech had offered it as a platform beneath you. You gaze up at him questioningly, but when the only answer he gives is a tilt of his head, the only thing you can think to do to oblige him.

Slowly, you slide down from his shoulder and land in a crouch on his palm— and as you come to your feet, the mech brings you around and over near his chest. “In that case, I wanna’ ask,” he begins as he does so, “when I bring you near my chest at all in general, do you feel… as uncomfortable?”

Your eyes flick down from his face and over to his bright yellow chestplate. The stark red Autobot brand stares back at you.

“…no,” you decide, finally tearing your eyes away from his chest and back up to Rodimus. “No, when I’m just level like this, it’s fine.”

“Okay,” he says, and slowly, he pulls you in closer. His servo bumps against his chassis, but you’re still free to roam around in his palm. “And this?”

“No,” you answer, and with more confidence this time. Though you can hear the constant rumble of his engine churning within him, you didn’t feel put off by it. “This is fine too.”

Then, your world begins to shift around you. Rodimus’ hand tilts forward, and you have no choice but to lean your hands against his chest as you’re gently held against it. “And… this?”

You don’t respond as quickly as you did before. You didn’t even need to tune in and listen— the feeling was right there, throbbing and pulsing beneath you with just as much strength as you remembered. His heart— spark, you correct yourself— there, living within him. You feel your breath start to pick up in pace, and you nearly push yourself as far back as you can—

But then, you look upwards, and see Rodimus gazing at you. Listening intently for your next words.

You take a deep breath. “I… not for now, no,” you lightly push yourself off from his chassis and the captain takes the hint, pulling you up and away and bringing you back to his face. “Maybe… maybe with a little more time, though.”

Though you give him a smile to assure him not to worry, Rodimus’ concerned pout never changes. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he says, “again, the last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable here ever again.”

You actually laugh at that, though you aren’t sure why. Rodimus— the mech who put you through the most uncomfortable scenarios all the way up until now— didn’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable again. It was… sweet.

“I know I don’t have to,” you reply, stepping forwards on his servo and closer to his face. You dare to land a hand on the tip of his nose, and though the mech blinks in surprise, he doesn’t pull back. Rather, he lifts one of his own hands and very gently places a thumb on the top of your head, running it down the back of your head in smooth, slow motions.

“But, with how we are now… I’m willing to try.”

#relic writes #too close for comfort fic #Transformers #reader insert #Transformers x reader #rodimus x reader #rodimus Prime x reader #MTMTE #more than meets the eye #mtmte x reader #lost light x reader #lost light

[madam-whim]

The Gold Road Reveal and my thoughts on it

I’m gonna start this off by saying I love ESO. I have been playing since 2017 and I’m pretty much doing everything the game has to offer. Quests, dungeons, trials, antiquities, sometimes PvP. That being said, this post will include lots of criticism that I feel (or know) is shared by many other fans.

But first things first, let me start off by listing some of the things on yesterday’s stream that had me bouncing in my seat:

The new zone is absolutely stunning! There’s a lot of variety to it and it does look very pretty. Exploring it will undoubtedly be fun and a feast for my eyes.

Also, Fennorian will be there, so I know there will at least be one well-written character that my Vestige has an actual bond with.

The scribing system being more of a roleplay thing – I don’t know what some people were hoping for, but I’m glad it’s not some Big Damage For Those Who Are Good At Maths kind of system. It still allows for a more unique playstyle, and I suppose it’s going to turn out like always: Do whatever you want in open world spaces, but keep your bow backflip heal out of veteran content.

And maybe the biggest “Yes!” moment of the evening: Ed Stark being the zone lead for Gold Road. While I did not like High Isle as much (too predictable for my taste, but at least it had recurring characters), he was responsible for Greymoor and Murkmire as well. I thought Greymoor was fantastic (good quests, excellent new characters alongside very familiar recurring ones), and Murkmire… well, I think Murkmire suffers greatly from being “the DLC that came after the Daedric Triad” so to speak. It kind of fell into the void created by a storyline spanning a full year (or even more, if you count the setup for the whole thing, which really began with the Varen’s ghost and Darien’s letter in Wrothgar and the Gold Coast sweetroll killer quests). I think that’s why lots of people don’t seem to like Murkmire very much despite it having great storytelling. My point is this: I do have some hope that after the fiasco some recent DLCs were story-wise, Ed Stark will at least make sure Gold Road makes sense.

And now for the criticism.

Ithelia’s design (Whenever, wherever, I want to kill Hermaeus…)

… yeah, about that. As one of my friends put it, she looks like Shakira with wings.

They really could have done so much better. The way she is now, as @akaviri-dovah said, she really just looks like a Meridia clone who somehow stole Jyggalag’s crystals, which is funny on so many levels (more on that later). Suffice it to say that I personally think the design choices are kind of lazy, given that we already have an angelic-looking Daedric lady.

Also, what’s with this picture? This kinda makes it seem as if she originally looked. Um. A lil different from the way she is now. In any case, I’m just gonna call this a missed opportunity for something more unique. I do like the glass shard aesthetic, I just wish they’d taken it in a different direction.

Dragon Break Princess Ithelia, or something like that

Now I know Dragon Breaks have to work differently from what Ithelia does, but I am kind of wondering what the consequences of her fate-altering abilities are. How do you alter fate in a way that threatens reality (with reality consisting of past and present events, with all possible versions of the future being possibly-real until one actually happens) without altering the timeline? Just by removing a possible future? Then one could argue that any Daedra could do the same just by manipulating people. Granted, it’s possible that Ithelia sees all possible futures and can do whatever she likes with them, but even then, she’d only be influencing what can become reality, not what already is. So how can she be THAT dangerous?

Right now, it just seems to me that they needed an adversary for Hermaeus Mora, and since his big things are knowledge, secrets and fate, and they couldn’t very well make a Daedric Prince of Anti-Intellectualism or a Daedric Prince of Snitching, she had to be a fate-altering type of Daedra.

At this point I’m still wondering how she even works, because how does she not accidentally cause Dragon Breaks? And if she is that damn powerful, how on earth did Mora alone manage to pretty much remove any trace of her? Which kind of brings me to my next point.

Memory Issues

I know, I know, Ithelia is not the first “new” Daedric Prince. (Which makes her stolen Jyggalag crystal vibes rather funny if you ask me.) And I don’t mind her being crazy powerful either, because so was Jyggalag or else he wouldn’t have been cursed. But that, to my knowledge, required several other Princes, whereas Ithelia apparently got owned by Hermaeus Mora alone, who then erased all memory of her. Which is not only quite the feat given how powerful she has to be, but also a very weird thing for Hermaeus Mora to do. I kinda thought stealing memories was more Meridia’s style. This entire part does not quite make sense to me yet and seems a little out of character, but well. By the way, speaking of Meridia…

Meridia-baiting the players

At this point, ZOS have to know we’re getting tired of waiting for villain Meridia. Everyone I know who is even the least bit interested in ESO’s storyline wants to see it. And I’ve seen people get their hopes up in recent days (new Meridia/Dawnbreaker-themed music box, the Ayleid ruin hint on the fragments sent to streamers…). Even in the twitch chat, there were people hyped about what they thought was Meridia, and who were disappointed when they were told it was Ithelia. And yes, I am absolutely saying they did this and made her a Meridia lookalike on purpose. But I’m well aware that we haven’t gotten any new hints about either Meridia or a certain someone since Greymoor, and that chapter will be four years old soon. Even I am beginning to give up, as much as I hate to say it.

By the way, I really did NOT appreciate Matt Firor name-dropping Darien right at the beginning. If you’re not planning to do anything with him, just let it go. I know absolutely nobody who appreciates being fed very tiny hints for two years and then being left in the dark for four years straight. If you don’t want to pick that storyline up again, just stuff the man into the Old Life quest and be done with it.

Honestly, once again, I’m gonna say this is a MASSIVE missed opportunity right here. ESO’s 10 year anniversary is coming up, what could possibly be better than to go back to the roots now and reward all those loyal players with the story they are waiting for? I distinctly recall Molag Bal telling me to watch my step around Meridia, and the setup is all there. I’m honestly disappointed that there is no Meridia content at all. And this ties in with my final point, albeit vaguely.

“Recurring” characters

Ah, yes, we do love recurring characters. Sometimes. We do love it when a fan favorite comes back – a character who’s accompanied the Vestige over the course of an entire story arc or has made multiple appearances over the years and has become beloved by many players, and, most importantly, who is well-written, i.e. has a unique personality. And that’s why “recurring characters” is not always a recipe for success when it comes to getting people hooked on a story.

It is when it’s one of the five companions, or a Ravenwatch member, or your main alliance buddy (Raz, Naryu and – oh, wait, yeah, us Covenant babies don’t have one anymore). It also works when it’s a character we’ve run across several times already, like Alchemy, who I know tons of people love, or my favorite walking disaster Revus Demnevanni.

But it’s certainly not working when it’s a character we barely know anything about, and who isn’t a hit with the community. Like Eveli’s brother whom I had to google because I could not remember who he was. He’s from a prologue quest. Nothing more. That’s not a “beloved returning character”.

ZOS have several of those just lying around, and they’re just not using them. And even the base game had so many characters that were there over the course of several zones, that were well-written and at least memorable to the degree that people would recognize them with just a little reminder, like Indaenir or Holgunn and Walks-in-Ash or the Vanos siblings. Hell, we haven't seen good old Vanus Galerion in a while. They are ten years old now and deserve to be dragged to the surface again.

Okay, I’m done now!

This concludes my rant (because that’s what it is, I’m aware). I just want to say again that this is not be dragging ESO through the mud, this is just me pointing out that the devs (especially the writers) could do so much better if they listened to their lore nerds and story-interested players more.

#eso #gold road #ithelia #hermaeus mora #meridia #long post #tes #intya rambles #i am still very salty about the whole meridia situation #and the unfinished business we have with her #and I don't like players getting their hopes up for nothing

[piggledy-higgledy]

As anyone who’s been looking at my page semi-frequently will have noticed, I am a big Richard Armitage fan. Mostly in love with his portrayal of Gisborne in BBC’s Robin Hood, but I also enjoy most of his other work and consider him a very talented actor (and a very sweet person from what we can tell.)

There has been a lot of furore lately about his latest project, “Obsession” (a series unfortunately promoted as an erotic thriller by Netflix), which is a remake of 1992 film “Damage” (with Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche) and based on the book by Josephine Hart. He portrays William Farrow, a married, middle aged, successful surgeon, who has an affair with his son’s fiancé, Anna (Charlie Murphy) -an affair so obsessive that it costs him everything: his career, his family, his son’s life, even his own self (more on that later.) The series features a lot of sex scenes, very light BDSM elements, and a LOT of nudity from RA on a level most fans never thought we’d see (RA being famously private and modest.) The fandom has been divided over this, with some looking forward to it and some being sure it’s not for them at all. From what I can tell (and I might be wrong) most people were put off by either the copious amounts of sex (and the trailer leaned very heavily on that) or the unsavoury morals of the main characters. Which is fair, if it’s not your cup of tea, don’t watch it.

I *did* watch it, and because opinions have been so strong, I wanted to share my thoughts. No disrespect if you prefer to pass. I hope it might be helpful for anyone on the fence and still making up their mind whether to watch or not. Happy to chat more about it if anyone likes! There WILL be spoilers.

Before watching it

I have personally felt very intrigued about this series and I was excited about watching it. Not so much because of the nudity or explicit scenes -or, rather, because of them, but not in the way you might think. Richard Armitage has played very, very few roles where he was primarily the romantic lead, and none later in his career. He tends to be cast in active roles, a lot of dark, violent characters, tense action. When there is romance it’s not the main aspect being explored. And he has NEVER (with the notable exception of Between the Sheets, which was so early in his career I doubt he necessarily had much choice to turn down work) done anything close to this level of sexual screen time. Why now? What made this different? I really wanted to know.

There was another reason I really wanted to watch Obsession. What Richard Armitage does best, in my opinion, is give characters depth (even characters that were clearly not written that way *cough* *Guy* *cough*). He is an incredibly detailed actor and uses his face and eyes to a stunning degree to convey things that go far beyond the dialogue. He has spoken about how he creates complete backstories for all his characters. This project is literally made for his type of acting. There is hardly any action, and leagues of unspoken material. RA called it “one of the most fulfilling pieces of work he’s ever done”. I needed to see why.

After watching it

I binged all 4 episodes in one night. And then again the next morning. And again today. I finished the first episode and thought “Yes, I understand why he wanted to do this.” (He also said in an interview that there was a moment in one scene that he’d never achieved before on film. Having watched this, I believe him.) Is this the kind of series I’d normally gravitate to? No. But I’m glad I watched it. Every single actor was incredible. The filming was beautiful. I just… don’t know where to start.

The story:

In my opinion “Obsession” is not about infidelity or sexual exploration -it’s about William and Anna’s experience with obsession and addiction. Anna isn’t just having an affair. She is addicted to being in control and to using sex as a means of asserting that control. (We learn that she had a brother who sexually abused her for years and committed suicide when she finally put a stop to it. And throughout the series, she reacts to strong emotions by initiating sex. Charlie Murphy described the character as a “dominant submissive” and that’s spot on, not just in the way that she sets the rules and boundaries of their sexual relationship, but in the way that, having been abused, asserts her control on the situation she had to submit to as a young girl by controlling when and how she submitted). William is not just having an affair. He is obsessed and addicted to Anna to the point that it completely deconstructs him as a person. He is the counterpoint to Anna’s character, in that he has no control. He doesn’t initiate, he doesn’t resist, he can’t or won’t control his reactions or his impulses and he completely loses control of his life as a result of his actions. In the final episode Jay, the son, discovers the affair and in shock, falls off a railing to his death. There is a scene where William faces his wife after everything is revealed and watching Richard Armitage convey all those emotions without saying a word is some of the best acting I’ve seen in my life. I don’t know what part of himself RA drew from to act the guilt and grief and absolute devastation in that scene but it was… amazing and heartbreaking. Even then, the obsession wins. When Jay dies, we see Anna walking away while William cradles the body of his son, paying her very little attention. I completely believe that he is broken in the scenes that follow. But after a few days the addiction takes over and he still seeks out Anna, convinced they can now be together (“there’s no version of this with just you,” she’d told him earlier on, but he clearly thinks otherwise). And we get the following:

W: … I let uncertainty in. (NB: What is uncertainty but lack of control?)

A: And look what happened. I don’t think… we can ever separate who we are from what we’ve done.

W: But… we can’t let it all be for nothing either (NB: William’s voice breaks here. He’s lost everything he ever cared about, she’s the only thing left. Does this phrase mean he thinks there was depth in their affair? Or does it mean that he is looking for meaning and depth so that he can cope with the fact that he sacrificed everything for an obsession and an addiction?)

A: Jay died because of us.

W: Still I wouldn’t change it (TNB: THIS! This phrase upset so many viewers! And of course it did, it was supposed to. The acting is, again, amazing. This isn’t said to Anna, this is introspection. William is looking inside himself, realises he wouldn’t change it, realises how much of himself he’s lost.)

A: You don’t regret it?

W: How can I?

A: We caused so much pain

W: But it’s done now.

A: I am so sorry for what happened. But I wish we’d never met. (She walks away, leaving William sobbing. Because there. is. nothing. left.)

The sex:

I hate that this was marketed as a sexy series because it created all sorts of hype and expectations that were misplaced imo. The story was never about the sex. Morgan Lloyd Malcolm said a couple of days ago on Twitter that it’s about “sitting in the discomfort of human behaviours” and that is spot on. Like I said above, this is a story of addiction. Anna is not addicted to the sex -she is addicted to using sex for control. That’s why Anna and William never kiss (she is the one controlling their physical interactions. William leans in to kiss her in many scenes, she never lets him.) That’s why the music is so jarring in all the sex scenes. That’s why there’s no foreplay, that’s why William never lasts long. That’s why they only ever have sex on the floor or in public, never in a safe, comfortable place like a bed. They are not comfortable. This is not a comfortable situation. We, as viewers, are supposed to be uncomfortable. The infamous hotel pillow scene was meant to demonstrate the turning point in William’s addiction, the complete loss of control, I think. It was never supposed to be funny or sexy -it was meant to disturb us because this intelligent, cultured, previously collected man becomes completely animalistic. Which is why he sobs afterwards -I think this is the point when William realises that (as Ingrid puts it later) “he is lost to her”. William’s face after their first sexual encounter is the face of a man under the influence. When she gets up to leave he makes this movement with his fingers like he is trying to hold on to her, but only grabs air. It’s just a twitch -but it’s Richard Armitage and we know how detailed he is in his acting, and I am sure it was a gesture with meaning.

The intimate scenes in Obsession are sometimes sensual, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes genuinely hard to watch but never gratuitous.

Why a fan of Richard Armitage or anyone writing for his characters should watch it:

Again, you do you, but hear me out: This series is a veritable treasure trove of body language, voice/cadence, facial expressions that you can then apply to your favourite RA character. The longing. The conflict. The loss of control. The vulnerability. The eye contact. The fact that the lover’s name is Anna, which is also my name. Also, I’m being completely serious when I say that this is some of the best acting I’ve seen him do *ever*. If you can only bring yourself to watch parts of it, do that. There were some scenes that genuinely made me tear up. Look after yourself, respect your boundaries, but sample what you can because it’s a veritable banquet.

PS: I am focusing on Richard Armitage for this review because I came to Obsession from that fandom. But every single actor gives an amazing performance. I especially adored Charlie Murphy as Anna, Indira Varma being astounding as Ingrid and the criminally underrated Marion Bailey as Anna’s mother, Elizabeth, who packs SO MUCH into so few scenes.

#obsession #netflix obsession #richard armitage #indira varma #Charlie Murphy #william farrow #mine #my review

[marshvlovestv]

No game has ever made me sit down and start writing academic-level essays like Scarlet Hollow does. There are just... so many angles it could be analyzed from, and so many fascinating themes running through it. The personhood of children, the personhood of animals, things that are passed down through the generations, from the negative (generational trauma) to the positive (local traditions and folklore).

I'm not that knowledgeable on horror as a whole, but I know there's a notion that supernatural horror is often representative of more realistic fears, and from what I've noticed, the theme running through all the horror concepts in this game is a lack of autonomy, be it economic autonomy from living under capitalistic oppression, social autonomy from an overbearing parent, or bodily autonomy, with everything from the Ditchlings taking over animals' bodies to be hosts for their young to Charles Shaw Jr. hijacking the characters' bodies and using them as puppets.

As the most alive and reactive choice-based game I've ever encountered, I obviously see a lot of space to talk about choice and free will and morality (does it blow anyone else’s mind that so much of what happens in this town, right down to who lives or dies, is entirely dependent on the decisions of this one single person? How much power the player and by extension the cousin really has? It’s what makes it fun to play but it must also be so terrifying from the cousin’s perspective). And the comparative analyses that could be made with other games based on this too… My dream comparative analysis would be between Scarlet Hollow and, um, the Quantic Dream library? I’m sorry devs, I promise I don’t mean that as an insult - David Cage is a bad person who makes bad games but there’s also always been this boldness to the choices those games allow you to make and the ways they can branch that I kind of respect? I’m very glad I now have Black Tabby to look up to in that regard instead.

All of that, plus the game is a real masterclass in worldbuilding and characterization and pacing and humor… I would use it as a teaching aid in a creative writing class, for sure.

I’m sorry for the long post, it’s just that this game makes every neuron in my brain fire rapidly. I’m the kind of person who always tries to elevate my hyperfixations to the level of high art, because I like having this kind of stuff to analyze. Scarlet Hollow is the first fixation in a while that’s made it so easy. It really deserves to be elevated in such a way. Video game good. Make me think. The end.

#scarlet hollow

[cheiyunn]

Kimisute main story [０部 ] Part 1

Side:Argonavis

Ren: (The stage I saw has a kid…)

Ren: (Even now I’m still searching for the answer to the feeling that remained in my heart)

Ren: (and now…)

Ren: (I’m now singing, to chase after that feeling I felt that day)

Audience: Wa—!

Ren: Everyone, thank you! We’re Argonavis!

.

[Backstage]

Yuto: Good work! Everyone was super pumped up!

Banri: Yeah! It even felt better than what we did in rehearsal!

Wataru: We hit it off really well today. Even the audience was on the same wavelength with the excitement 

Rio: Yup. It was just as fun for me too

Ren: …it was amazing

Ren: Yuto’s guitar, Wataru’s base, Rio’s keyboard, Banri’s drumming…

Ren: It felt like everyone’s music was pulling me along with them

Banri: What are you saying Ren-kun! It's definitely the opposite!

Ren: Huh..?

Yuto: Thats right Ren! It was because your singing was so on point that it drew everyone along and hyped us up!

Ren: Is, is that so..?

Rio: Goryo and Shiroishi hit the bullseye. When you started singing, it felt like we were all drawn in all at once, especially today

Wataru: Yeah, it was so good

Ren: …ah, when you say all that its kind of embarrassing… but, I’m really happy you say so

Ren: It felt like we were making music alongside lots of people in the crowd... It was really fun

Wataru: Finally joining a label and performing our first live show, I was kinda worried what would happen but…

Yuto: To be able to participate in a fes sponsored by our label alongside a famous senior band whose popularity makes us shrink in comparison…

Yuto: Yeah at first I was scared, but without a doubt we pulled it off!

Banri: True true. In terms of crowd hype, don’tcha think there wasn’t much of a difference

Banri: To be able to hype up the crowd to the level of our seniors, I’d say is a pretty proud feat!

Rio: I do feel that it's also due to the overall flow as well..

Banri: Don’t go saying stuff that puts us down Rio-kun!

Wataru: Well, I understand what Kikyo’s getting at too

Ren: The others’ performance was also amazing… Even now, I can still vividly feel their sound in resonating within me

???: You guy’s sound was also the kind to resonate deep in my heart y’know

Yuto: Furusawa-san!

Furusawa: I let you guys participate in this fes and believed in your abilities. Glad to see that choice wasn’t a wrong one at all

Ren: (This person here is Furusawa-san. The person that let us, Argonavis, do a major debut)

Ren: (Right now we’re affiliated with the record label he manages, Apollo records, and continue our band activities there)

Wataru: Thank you so much for granting us such a precious opportunity like this

Furusawa: No no, its not something you really need to thank me for

Furusawa: I also wanted to see how far you could hold it up if you were thrown into the rings of professionals

Rio: You were testing us then

Furusawa: Yup. Did it ruffle your feathers?

Rio: No. In fact I rather feel honored

Banri: Yeah. It goes to show much you anticipate from us after all!

Furusawa: Ahahaha! Yeah indeed! And to boot, you guys showed me results far more than I ever expected!

Wataru: Results… ?

Furusawa: You haven’t seen it yet?

Furusawa: In perfectly during the interval times. Go look up the fes on your SNS.

Banri: Oh! Our name is coming up alot!

Yuto: You’re right… Compared to our previous lives, there’s so much more …

Furusawa: Hey Ren

Ren: ! Y-Yes…!

Furusawa: Its always been like that but today. Today’s singing had a feeling of weight and depth that deeply touched my heart. It was amazing

Ren: Ah… thank you very much!

Furusawa: The 4 of you’s power in your performances warmly wrapped around Ren’s voice and embellished it

Furusawa: Yuto, you really found some really good band members!

Yuto: Yup!

Furusawa: I’m looking forward to your activities from now on

Furusawa: Oh right, after the fes, could you guys stay back for a bit? There’s something I need to discuss

Yuto: Roger that. We’ll be waiting in the backstage area so if anything happens just pop in!

Yuto: We’ll continue to do our best. We look forward to your support!

The other four: We’re looking forward to your support!

#fromargonavis #argonavis

[wolfcamellias]

how do you picture qpr shadowpeach? your ideas about them fascinate me

@blood-king asked: *cough* So uh, completely unprompted totally didnt see a post or anything; How would QPR shadowpeach work? (Also /gen question cause ur thoughts on them are always interesting lol)

WELL! I’m so glad you asked! Bare with me that I’m working with canon material and even then I have to take into consideration that S4 might erase all of this and produce something different for ShadowPeach  ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ 

[insert “no fear” / “one fear” meme redraw here]

BUT! Anyways! Let’s look deeper into these freaks now shall we 

First let’s dissect everything we got thus far on Sun Wukong and Macaque’s canon dynamic before diving into the QPR aspect of it all 

-------------

Season One 

I want everyone to remember that besides the iconic line of “You are such a gem” has more meaning behind it than we realize. We don’t have much to work with in terms of Season One material and at this base level we can consider the fact that it was.. Just a crackship by this point, they only have one brief interaction and Macaque was never seen again. During that moment we can see that Sun Wukong and Macaque are treated to be “equals” in this instance solely because Macaque was able to absorb Xiaotian’s powers and render him immobile for a while. In this instance we can see that Macaque was copying Sun Wukong’s moves aside from the shadow clone-summonings and the Shadow Puppet creation. 

This implies Macaque was well adept into mimicking Sun Wukong that he was capable of copying all of his moves without pause and heart beat but also managed to “outwit” Sun Wukong by using the fact that he cares about Xiaotian as a stepping stone and tries to get the upper hand constantly on him during the fight. 

“Wukong! How ya doin’ bud? [Scoffs]” “Aren’t you ever going to get sick of living in my shadow?”

“Oh god is Rhy going to psychoanalyz—” yes now sit down. 

Macaque’s tone is mocking all the way during this small exchange, even mocking Wukong’s “bud” that he uses to address Xiaotian, attempting to edge him on and get him to engage with him. Right from the start he’s trying to instigate him, he wants Wukong to react in a way that’ll lead to a fight, that will cause some wreckage, he wants Sun Wukong to see him and think “I want to engage with this person for the rest of my life, I can’t stop thinking about him” when in truth Macaque is the one chasing Wukong’s attention constantly.

Sun Wukong’s tone is something I’ve analyzed once, twice, several times before. Wukong’s tone here is stressed and non-intimidating—he’s more disappointed than you realize. Sun Wukong witnessed Xiaotian’s personality change to someone who snaps back at him, tells him he’s been training with someone who’s actually teaching him when Sun Wukong knows Xiaotian’s mortal and has his limits. Had Xiaotian gotten incredibly hurt, his reaction to Macaque’s mocking would have been worse. Because Wukong does not instigate fights. He doesn’t try to play into the bait that Macaque leaves him, he asks him if he’s tired of repeating this cycle. It’s true, it is a cycle and we see it throughout most of their relationship: Sun Wukong takes a step back and Macaque takes two steps forward. He’s the one keeping Macaque at a distance.

And something that’s very interesting when it comes to Wukong’s word choice: he says, ‘living in my shadow’. Which is interesting! It implies that Sun Wukong does not want Macaque to be in his shadow. He does not want Macaque around let alone being his shadow—he wants him to step out of it. It’s interesting to see that Sun Wukong does not seem to think he was the one who put Macaque in his shadow — it’s interesting to see.

“It’s time to give back what you stole.”

Again, Wukong gets straight to the point: “You hurt my successor, a mortal, and I can tell you’re not going to talk through this so I’ll resort to your level.”

But he also does not engage Macaque immediately. Only does so when Macaque continues and says this:

“You are such a gem. It's going to be so satisfying, killing you with your own powers.”

Did you know that in JTTW Macaque was mirroring all of Sun Wukong’s powers? He was basically an exact replica in that moment and thus it resulted in a stalemate for a long time?

Macaque is A) admitting here that he’s using Sun Wukong’s own strength against him thus making him his equal in that instant, more so with the fact Sun Wukong is canonically holding back at this point, meaning Macaque’s frustration with him later makes sense because he knows Sun Wukong is holding back—he just doesn’t know by how much and B) he’s once again instigating Wukong by calling him a gem, something he only does once throughout the show before he switches to other forms of taunting. 

Sun Wukong is a stone monkey, he was born from a rock. He was treated as more of a piece of coal throughout the entirety of the Journey by both Heaven and his pilgrim brothers and even his master at times (not to say that’s the exact way the Pilgrims and Tripitaka act in the show but I digress) and to call him a gem.. Is purely amusing considering how he then proceeds to say Sun Wukong was gifted with all of his abilities and powers in the following season. He’s not complimenting him—and even if he was, it probably lost its value in the moment, considering the situation they were in.

“Seriously? You fell for that?”

Macaque instigating Sun Wukong and further trying to get him to get angry and stoop down to his level? More likely than you think.

“Come on. Show me the real Sun Wukong. The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me, but you're scared of hurting some kid? Pathetic.”

Macaque proceeds to try and urge Wukong to go back to being his old self, he wants Wukong to be that reckless, capricious, overpowered guy whom he (for lack of better platonic based term) fell in love with in terms of admiration and, amusingly, it’s also something he clings on to because that’s a recurring theme with Macaque: being stuck in the past.

Sun Wukong is not reacting how he wants him to and that’s what irritates him the most. He wants them to go back to their past and that’s the unhealthy aspect of him: he doesn’t realize people can change for better or worse—or, at the very least, he doesn’t want to acknowledge it with the way he witnesses Sun Wukong protect Xiaotian and worry over him more than he pays attention to Macaque himself. He doesn’t want to believe Sun Wukong’s changed as a person and that he  needs to change before they can make anything work.

------------------

Season Two

Sun Wukong is absent throughout most of this Season due to his quest to find a weapon to fight against LBD and then the subtle timeskip of Heaven’s days and Earth’s years working a little funky. 

Of course then we dip our feet into the very shallow pool that is Macaque’s view of how Sun Wukong’s character works despite not having had a proper conversation with him over the past five hundred years or so. 

“The hero and the warrior were like the Sun and the Moon. Their light, a protective glow, shining upon the world. Together, there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the Celestial Realms or on Earth. As time went on, the hero attained power beyond comprehension. As the hero's light grew, so too did his shadow. And soon, the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero.”

Shoutout to Lego Monkie Kid for being able to write biased narratives throughout the show. 

Macaque’s word choices are interesting: he’s glorifying the past (again) and putting the Hero (Wukong) on a high pedestal and repeating he was abandoned and forgotten and cast in the shadows. The interesting point is noting that Macaque is a strongly biased narrator, he views Sun Wukong as lesser than him and wants him to come down to his level of petty words and constant fighting when Sun Wukong does not react nor chase him around. And something to note about Sun Wukong is that he values and cares genuinely and strongly for his friends; to say that Sun Wukong purposefully put Macaque in his shadow is a stretch.

The theory that Sun Wukong told Macaque to stay behind while he went to the war against Heaven (thus fighting with Nezha, Muzha and Erlang) led to Macaque taking it as ‘you are weak and can’t follow me’, twisting Wukong’s words and his perception of him is the most likely theory taking into consideration how LBD was confirmed to have messed with Macaque’s memories and that Macaque later states that Sun Wukong didn’t work hard for his powers.

Unless Lego Monkie Kid rewrote the starting chapters of Journey To The West where Sun Wukong spends years training for his immortality, several more reigning over his kingdom and then the inevitable trauma and imprisonment? Sun Wukong worked very hard for his position, regardless of whether or not he was cocky or gained a high ego over it, and Macaque just turns away from the truth and only sees what he wants to see.

We don’t talk about the fact that he proceeded to project onto Xiaotian and said he did not have abandonment issues and that he forgot about the friends that Macaque himself kidnapped. 

And of course we get the moment where Macaque gets a flashback of Sun Wukong punching him, correlating to the somewhat confirmed theory that Sun Wukong murdered Macaque during a certain point in the JTTW arc of the show.

And then it’s not addressed again until Season Three.

Season Three

(I’ve typed Macaque 37 times and Wukong 48 times and idk how to feel about that)

Sun Wukong is emotionally and mentally and physically drained the moment we see him back at the start of the Season. He’s focused on securing the map and gaining the Samadhi Fire for the chance of defeating Lady Bone Demon and Macaque on the other hand, as we can see in the flashback that occurs later in the season, was leashed and held with a dagger to his neck when moving closer to Wukong.

Macaque and Sun Wukong’s banter is.. a singular moment where he allows himself to fall into Macaque’s cycle. “Always the comedian,” implies Macaque is well aware that Wukong is masking his tone and overall stability to show he’s holding himself together when in truth he very much isn’t. Wukong continues to taunt Macaque because this is what he wanted, he wanted a true reaction out of him — to which I mean, he wants Wukong to react in a negative sense, he wants them to fight, he wants to instigate fights with him because that in itself is a distraction from talking about their past. 

Wukong avoids Macaque and even warns everyone about him, tries to keep Macaque away from Xiaotian and the others as much as possible to the point of making himself bait for the sake of them getting away during the train station scene. 

Genuinely, Sun Wukong saw Macaque as someone dangerous to Xiaotian due to the trauma that Macaque gave him during his introduction episode where he threatened to kill Xiaotian for the sake of getting to Wukong.

And that’s not without discussing the fact that Wukong was able to make Macaque freeze at the change of tone. During the ice scene with Nezha, Wukong tries to instigate a sort of scuffle with Macaque this time, repeating the same tone and mask he used back during the airship fight. Because he wants him to fall back into that little cycle of theirs that Macaque was constantly chasing.

What he didn’t account for was Macaque not following the same path he usually does. The reason behind Wukong’s anger when he reaches to choke Macaque isn’t just because he started the ritual: he didn’t listen to Wukong (again), he tried to shift his blame onto Wukong, he hurt Xiaotian, he threatened Xiaojiao, and pushed Tang into starting the ritual. And, yes, Wukong was watching all of it despite not knowing what it is they were saying, but he is very much aware of Macaque’s actions when he went after them clawing for survival.

It’s also important to remember that it’s heavily implied both Sun Wukong and Macaque must have done something to cause their relationship to become so estranged. Because Macaque is the one who leaves this time, Macaque is the one who tried to get away from this situation, Macaque is the one who tries to escape and that’s what ticks Wukong off further. 

Because Macaque is a coward and that’s something he needs to work on excessively. 

Yes, there is the looking back scene, there is the moment where Macaque and Wukong look at each other in the Samadhi Fire episode but just because they took one step does not mean they’ve finished climbing up the ladder to mending their relationship. 

However.

Sun Wukong was still holding back during his fight with Macaque.

Because despite this intense power imbalance, despite the fact Sun Wukong was possessed, he was still conscious, he was still aware of his actions. Knowing how roughed up he managed to get Macaque it's only safe to assume he was choosing to hold back in an attempt to delay the end result of the fight.

And afterwards we get a cleaner conclusion: they put their differences aside to help Xiaotian and end their last interaction with Macaque falling back into edging Wukong on and ignoring his actions throughout the Season and calling him selfish—as harsh as it may sound, he’s not yet accepting the fact Sun Wukong has changed and thus Sun Wukong will not consider him as someone he can be comfortable around or someone worth having an actual conversation with. 

See: When talking to Xiaotian he drops the masks (slightly) and admits he has never had a proper successor before nor has he ever been a mentor. Even when Xiaotian reveals he plays dumb to lighten the mood, Sun Wukong just laughs and brings him closer rather than pushing him away. He does not do that with Macaque because he doesn’t even consider him someone worth trying for.

---------

“Break Up” Stage

“But how would they work?”

They need to separate first.

Sun Wukong and Macaque require a lengthy break from each other, both without mentioning or seeing the other let alone engaging them because the chances of them actually communicating is slim to none. They need to work on themselves and separate to work on their individual trauma before they can even begin to discuss their own issues.

Sun Wukong is closed off and Macaque is self-centered in the way that, Wukong does not address his trauma and even then plays it off as a joke while Macaque makes his own personal issues seem more important or drastic than others (whether intentionally or not).

Macaque is also heavily focused on Wukong while Wukong can easily look away from Macaque lest the latter mocks or taunts him.  They need to be away from each other for a while before even beginning to take those steps towards friendship.

--------------------

Things they need to work on first

Sun Wukong needs to work on his communication skills, emotional and mental stability, learn how to make healthy coping habits for his trauma and actually talk to someone about his trauma. He bottles everything up and then often uses himself as bait/a shield for everyone (especially Xiaotian) and that’s taking a toll on him. He even openly declares he’s going to sacrifice himself when asked what his plan was about the fire and then immediately joked about it to numb it down. 

He constantly lets others snap at him without defending himself not because he can’t but because of trauma when speaking out towards others if they stick by JTTW lore (when contradicting Tripitaka’s actions, he would be punished with the tightening spell, etc.). He needs to get better at this before even beginning the idea of rekindling a friendship that must have heavily hurt him enough for him to not want to engage with the other party again. 

Macaque needs to work on his emotional and mental stability, learn not to trauma dump onto others, learn to let go and learn that his actions heavily affect others. He berates Wukong for seemingly “making things worse for Xiaotian” and then proceeds to hurt, manipulate and traumatize him and his friends. 

He gets away with it and that’s something that.. should not have happened? His actions throughout the series have consisted of kidnapping and borderline traumatizing a stranger to him who looked up to him and then proceeded to ask if he missed him. He’s mocking him, he’s mocking everyone and Wukong is not exempt from this.

Macaque needs to work on learning how to engage without seeing things through his own bias-tinted lenses and realize there are other people around him who are suffering from his actions and that being traumatized is not an excuse to be a shitty person to others.

Otherwise, the entire relationship could be toxic.

-----------------

Things that could work with them

Sun Wukong opening up to Macaque about why he doesn’t engage with him 

Macaque calling out Wukong on his past actions in a way that isn’t meant to be seen as an attack

Sun Wukong and Macaque (after being separated) finding each other when they’re in healthier environments and talking/discussing their past and how they can move forward together

Macaque apologizing to Wukong first

Macaque realizing Sun Wukong is traumatized from the Journey

Wukong realizing why Macaque chases after him so much and setting aside boundaries so they can engage without it becoming overwhelming

Sun Wukong and Macaque addressing the fact they’ve both hurt each other and realizing it can’t work unless they both put an effort into it

Macaque being Wukong’s shoulder to lean on; Wukong being the one to call Macaque out when he pushes things too far

A normal non-romantic involved QPR or friendship

-------------------

Things to consider

The reason why a QPR works so well with Sun Wukong and Macaque is a bit simple but also complicated: 

Sun Wukong throughout the course of Journey to the West and all its past and future iterations have always had him be uninterested in both men and women. There are multiple instances where he’s capable of courting women and he instead backs away or does not pay it any mind; aside from this he’s heavily implied to only care about familial love and friendships. He does not see his pilgrim brothers as anything more than family and he views Tripitaka as a mentor rather than someone whom he was chained to (coughs). 

Sun Wukong is always been heavily coded to be on the aro or ace spectrum in media and Lego Monkie Kid focuses more on the platonic aspect of relationships and Sun Wukong being in a Queer-Platonic Relationship would be more impacting than a regular romantic one. He does not understand normal human customs being a monkey and all and creating a type of relationship that’s unique to him and Macaque alone would be far more comfortable to him than to have a relationship that follows rules.

Macaque also has shown no signs of romantic attraction towards any of the cast and, considering the idea that they continue this fact, him being on the aro or ace spectrum would also be an incredible move on their part. Not only because he’s meant to represent the other side of Wukong’s metaphorical coin but because it’d be the first canon aro or ace villain character thus far in a kids’ show.

This and the fact that— both Sun Wukong and Macaque are over a thousand years old. Why on earth would they have a normal type of relationship? Giving them a checklist of what passes on as romantic and platonic when to them the line is so blurred it’s barely existent to them is amusing. 

Sun Wukong and Macaque having their own weird relationship where it changes from frustrated best friends to partners to angry middle aged demons to the tired traumatized immortals who sometimes cuddle while marathoning weird stupid comedies or tragedies on netflix is much more appealing than the average type of relationship media often portrays. Having Sun Wukong and Macaque see each other as equals on all known terms is interesting and good.

-----------------

Differences in giving and receiving affection (HC on Macaque’s part)

This one is a tad short considering how little we have on the matter but both monkeys resort to verbal praise — however there is a big difference in this.

Sun Wukong’s love language is acts of service (Journey), verbal reassurance, touch and familiarity with one’s actions and quirks. 

Macaque’s… are genuinely unknown seeing as his verbal praise is just a manipulation tactic but it’s somewhat twistable into something more.. Genuine if you take into account how he could just as easily turn Wukong’s words against himself when he spares Macaque a compliment.

-----------------

Final Message

This took me way longer than it should have.

Buy My Silence.

#Every time I see someone bring up the “oh Wukong!” from Season Three I feel my braincells turn to ashes #ask #shadowpeach #qpr shadowpeach #lego monkie kid #sun wukong #macaque #liu er mihou #monkie kid #oh my god im fucking tired #anyways #rhy analysis #yeap #analysis #qpr #queer platonic relationship #WOOOO #ANYWAYS ANYWAYS ANYWAYS #oofa #im in a stream rn watching swag draw angst of swk and mac and just pointing and going 'HAH losers (affectionate)' #middle aged men who cant fcking communicate my favorite dynamic

[spnjediavenger]

It Won't Last Forever (Chapter 3)

Title: It Won’t Last Forever (Chapter 3)

Type: multi-chapter; father!Hotch x teen!daughter!reader, some bau x teen!reader (platonic!)

Warnings: canon-typical Criminal Minds sadness 

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions PTSD

Spoilers: S5 SPOILERS

Notes: The PTSD description is a mix of my own experience and some I read online - this is not how ALL PTSD is experienced.

The Container Exercise is a real thing, one of my past therapists actually walked me through it and i love it

EMDR is an actual method of therapy and it works for some and not for others, it's also very dependent on person and situation; this is taken from my own experience and doesn’t reflect everyone’s

As always, love and/or constructive/friendly criticism is welcome and encouraged!

Word count: 814 (shorter, transition chapter)

“It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty.” Dalai Lama

When Hotch informed Rossi that Y/n had finally agreed to therapy, the older man told him that he had an old friend who was a licensed therapist and specialized in PTSD. Hotch was grateful for the suggestion. He decided to bring Y/n to work with him so he and Rossi could talk to her about it together. 

When they got to the BAU, everyone greeted her, glad she wasn’t as emotionless as the last visit. Hotch then brought her up to his office, keeping the door open. 

Y/n pulled some homework out of her bag as her dad began to work at his desk. A light knock came to the door about 30 minutes later, making both Hotchners turn their heads up. 

“Hey, Dave,” the older Hotchner greeted and waved him in. 

Rossi walked in and patted Y/n’s head, making the girl smile a bit. He sat in the chair next to her. 

“What’s going on?” Y/n asked, looking from Rossi to her dad. 

“Y/n, I know you’re hesitant about starting therapy. But when I mentioned to Dave that you agreed to it, he mentioned he knows someone that might be a good choice.”

“Dr. Warner is a friend of mine, very good in her field. She specializes in kids dealing with PTSD. We figured you might feel a little better if you’re talking with someone one of us knows.”

Y/n thought it over for a second, gave a half smile, and nodded a bit. “That sounds good. Could you…could you be there too, Dave? For the first time at least?” she asked. 

The older man smiled warmly and put an affectionate hand on her cheek. “Of course, bambina.”

Y/n giggled a bit and smiled at the italian nickname only Rossi used for her. “We’ll get you better, kiddo.”

Y/n put her hand on his and smiled. “Thank you.”

Y/n sat in a small waiting area with her dad and Rossi. Her leg bounced up and down wildly as her eyes darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on. She only stilled her leg when her dad put his hand on her knee, catching her attention. Her movement had stopped and she turned to look at him. 

“Y/n, it’ll be alright. Dave said Dr. Warner is a nice woman. And therapy goes at your own pace and comfort level. You’ll be just fine. Ok?” Hotch held his palm up and Y/n accepted his hand. 

“Ok,” she sighed. 

“Y/n Hotchner?” a voice called from the other side of the room. 

Hotch ran a comforting hand over her back as she took a shuddery breath and they walked over with Rossi in tow. 

The woman led them into a room and shut the door behind everyone. She held her hand out to Y/n first and introduced herself, “I’m Dr. Warner, but you can call me Peggy.” She shook each person’s hand and gave Rossi a small hug as well. 

“Thanks for doing this, Peg,” he said warmly. 

“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Dave. Please, everyone, take a seat anywhere.”

Y/n sat on the couch across from Dr. Warner’s chair and had her dad and Rossi sit on either side of her. 

The session started simply with Dr. Warner explaining to them how things would go and taught Y/n a tool for when she was between sessions. 

“This is called the Container Exercise,” she explained. “I want you to close your eyes and picture a container. It can be any kind you want. A box, a jar, anything. Think of the shape of it, the color, if there are any designs on it. Do you see it? Now, any time bad memories or feelings come up between our sessions, or you aren’t in a place where you can properly handle them, I want you to imagine putting those memories and feelings inside your container and sealing it until we can talk about them. You can open your eyes now.”

The rest of the session went by rather smoothly as well. They didn’t get too far into specifics about Y/n’s trauma since it was the first session, but Dr. Warner got the basics of what they would be working on. Upon understanding these things, the doctor recommended a technique called “EMDR” which both Hotchners agreed to start for Y/n at the next session. 

When the group left, Hotch kissed Y/n’s head before she got into the car. “I’m proud of you, sweety.”

The girl smiled and hugged him. “Thanks, daddy.”

She was on the road to recovery.

“You survived the trauma. Now, you’ll survive the recovery.” Unknown.

#fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x teen reader #criminal minds x hotchner reader #criminal minds x teen reader #bau x teen reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfic #hotch x daughter reader

[oikasugayama]

I love love love your latest alignment chart! It was really cute but I had some thoughts on it and wanted to share! Specifically regarding the last ‘alignment’, being annoyed by your shyness and wanting you to be more confident.

I can somewhat understand the last one, that it can be frustrating when someone is so crippled by their own anxiousness that you feel the need to do everything for them, but at the same time, I’m like: If you’re so turned off/upset by one of your partner’s most prominent traits, why even date them at that point, y’know?

I’m sorry but I don’t think that those last four relationships are gonna last very long, no matter how much love you have for someone, unless change comes fast, I doubt that sort of dynamic would work long term.

In Ranpo’s case, his inability to read social cues and understand his partner’s struggle combined with the fact that he’s very vocal and blunt about his opinions and feelings, would probably lead to a pretty messy breakup where Ranpo’s left feeling frustrated, hurt and confused and his partner feeling sad, stupid and overdramatic (I’d feel stupid too if one of the smartest people in the world was visibly and vocally annoyed by my struggle.)

Now, Kunikida is an odd case, because while he’s a very good person and would be sympathetic, he holds his ideals and his schedule in such high regard that if repeated interruptions happened and kept happening due to this one ‘issue’, I think that he would eventually come to think it would be better for both parties if they split up. It’d be a somber and quiet thing and both would feel pretty shitty afterwards, with Kunikida wondering if he made the right choice and the partner blaming and beating themself up for ruining their relationship.

Fukuchi, in my opinion, sucks in general and the way his line is phrased, I’m pretty sure that he’d eventually just get fed up with his partner’s personality and dump them without warning because he’s an asshole like that and unpleasant surprises are his whole thing.

Mushitarou would probably last the longest because given his personality, you’d first of all need to be intimate friends with him to start dating in the first place and now, because you’re spending so much more time together, he’s only just noticing how bad your anxiety is and now that you feel comfortable enough to blatantly cling onto him, he’s also only now developing a proper dislike for your shyness. It’s like the childhood best friends who become roommates in college, ‘we’ve known each other for years, it’ll all be good!’ but because this new level of closeness introduces another side of a person, there’s a chance you’ll find that you’re not vibing with it. He’d try to make it work and there’s definitely a chance that it might but a likely possibility that it won’t and would end up resulting in a pretty bad breakdown which would leave both parties devastated for both the loss of a relationship and a friendship.

Now, I never said that getting back together wasn’t possible, I think that for everyone (except Fukuchi :/) there’s a chance that they could work things out and get back together but not for a LONG while. Because learning takes time and healing takes even longer.

-Sincerely, 💋

Thank you for your analysis! We were thinking some very similar things-- I'm glad that what I was implying without saying was still coming through. There are absolutely some relationships on my previous alignment chart that would NOT last, including the four you mentioned and also a couple of others who infantalize the shy!reader too much. I didn't include it, in short, bc I didn't wanna be negative and it low-key upset me myself to ponder who would break up w me for being anxious :p

As much as I love Kunikida, there are certain details about his lifestyle that don't mix with someone who's incredibly shy/timid/anxious, etc. He can be sympathetic but after a certain point it conflicts with his idealism. He'd take it hard and consider it a fault of his own that he couldn't make the relationship work, but he also wants his partner to be with their ideal partner and he wants his ideal partner as well.

Ranpo works well in a friendship with shy people like Poe bc he can push someone out of their comfort zone by basking them in his own confidence and aloofness, but I think that he'd prefer his romantic partner "take care of him" to some extent at home and if they're too anxious to do things like run errands alone, take the train with him to show him how, etc. he would feel like his needs weren't being met. That's no one's fault, honestly. Sometimes you just gotta find the right fit.

When I think of Mushitaro I think of his late friend/partner and that awful conflict within him. He can't let himself feel guilty, but he does. He won't let himself feel remorseful, but he does. He can't show his emotions so unfortunately no one knows how much he cared about that person, but he cared so much and is so devastated by what he was asked to do and by the fact that he had no other choice. His friend needed to be released from his pain and by using Mushitaro's ability no one would get in trouble for his death, and his friend/partner wouldn't have to end it himself. I can't imagine the depths of pain Mushitaro feels and I also can't imagine him being in a relationship at all, regardless of the situation. He just can't handle the pain of losing someone again, and he isn't healed from the previous loss.

Fukuchi's was absolutely appalling and I hope no one stays in a relationship where your partner hates a large quality of your personality and constantly tells you that you need to change it!!! Don't put up with that!!! It's so incredibly harmful to your mental health. If your partner isn't trying to uplift and support you, please know that you deserve someone who does.

#ask answered #💋 anon

[downthe-f4ndom-rabbith0le]

Monster Like Me (Tyler x Addams!reader)

Monster Like Me (Tyler Galpin x Addams!reader) Word Count: 3888 Reader Insert: she/her pronouns Warnings: mentions of prison treatment, bad mental health, self-hate, a gun, medical procedures, bloody crime scenes, and (obviously) SPOILERS for Tim Burton's Wednesday tv show on Netflix

Tyler Galpin doesn't regret what he did. Or so he liked everyone to believe, even himself. But a visit from a certain empath Addams girl to his prison has him reconsidering his true feelings five years on. Is he truly alone? Or is she a monster like him?

I was never planning on posting anything I write on this account but the show Wednesday inspired me to write a bit of flash fiction (so don't expect a sequel) that I thought you guys would appreciate. Just a silly idea but fun nonetheless to write.

The overhanging light in the interrogation room flickers, casting shadows of ghosts long gone on the two faces presently staring at one another. 

The boy sits in his chair rigidly, restricted. Despite his smirk - the kind that oozed charisma, carelessness, and smug satisfaction of being right where he wants to be - he looks uncomfortable. But that’s to be expected when one is bound in a straight jacket and chained to the ground. A catheter tube is strapped into the back of his neck, hooked up to a machine pressed against the back wall. 

A caged, raging animal. That is what he is. All he has been since the day he was brought in.

The girl still stands by the door, unwilling just yet to join the chained boy at the worn table that separated them.

Curious eyes scan the boy’s figure. His usually dishevelled curls are even more unruly than before he was taken away. Colour is drained from every inch of him - even his chestnut eyes hold no spark of fireplace warmth like they used to. His cheekbones protrude grossly from under his taught, moon-sick skin. The gashes from his fight with the wolf have long since healed, but as their eyes lock, she senses that the mental scars still remain. Still fresh in his young but twisted mind.

‘You look good,’ she says, breaking the suffocating silence.

The boy raises an eyebrow, his smirk growing wider, more lethal. ‘I’m so glad you noticed. It’s this new treatment I’m using called enslavement. Maybe you should try it some time. It might just bring some colour to your dead life.’

Oh yeah. Very fresh, still.

‘You mistake me for my sister,’ she says taking a step towards the table finally. ‘Unlike her, I won’t break out in hives at the mere sight of another colour other than black.’

His eyes darken at that, and the smirk twists into a sneer. A wave of fury hits the girl as they stare at each other again. He no doubt still hates Wednesday for ruining his life. And despite the fact that he is a psychotic, shapeshifting murderer, she can’t help but feel a little sorry for him at the thought.

‘I’m not here to talk about her,' she continues. 'I came here to talk about you.’

‘You mean you were sent here to talk to me. Not by choice.’

She nods. ‘Indeed, I didn’t have much say in the matter, but…’ She pulls the seat out and finally sits down, her eyes meeting his equal level with equal confidence. ‘I am here, nevertheless. And we will talk.’

The boy scoffs and leans back from the table, shaking his head. Her heart twinges slightly at how his curls droop low over his eyes as he does it, bringing flashbacks of the times they would sit like this and chat. Except the flashbacks included sitting opposite sides of a coffee table, and his curls bounced and drooped because he laughed.

Venomous, hateful eyes peer up through his sandy blond curls. ‘What’s there to be said?’

‘You can start by telling me how you’ve been since we all last saw you.’

‘Do I really have to spell that out for you?’

‘I can make an assumption, but I’m not one to assume without concrete evidence. You should know that.’

‘Should I, though? Because you and Wednesday made it pretty hard to get to even know what your favourite colours were.’

‘Now, do I have to spell that out for you?' The girl crosses her arms, attempting a bored posture. 'Wednesday is a black and white person. Literally. She never hides anything except her subjectivity because it is grey… and she hates grey, ironically enough.’

The silence that ensues is only made more ominous by the haunting shadows of the flickering over-head light. They act as masks as they pass over the twos’ faces, hiding, revealing, and changing their true emotions in flashes. 

‘Do you regret any of it?’ the girl asks softly, hesitantly.

The boy chuckles darkly. ’So we are going to talk about this, then.’

‘Eventually,’ she quips, ‘I just wanted to see if you would deflect or accept the bait.’

‘Did I pass your test, then?’ 

‘That is yet to be determined.’

She pulls up onto the table a briefcase - one of them olden day ones with buckles and latches but made of good quality black leather. Unlatching the main lock, she opens it and reaches in to pull out a manilla folder. With a carefree flick of her wrist, it lands just on the table’s edge in front of the boy.

‘Go on,’ she urges impatiently.

He looks at her incredulously, the snark and the anger from before now replaced by confusion. ‘Really?’

After a moment, she laughs, clinking the side of her head lightly with her palm. ‘Oh my, how silly of me! Forgot that being a psycho means you lose hand privileges,’ she says, her over-enthusiasm cracking a smile on her dark lips.

Before he can have a dig at her, she pulls out a key from her sweater’s sleeve, and he gives her a curious look.

‘How did you get that in here?’ he asks.

‘Wednesday might be the more daring and riskier of us two,’ she says, standing up to walk around to stand behind him, ‘but I have a more subtle way of being rebellious.’

She bends to start unchaining him, then moves to unbuckle the numerous straps holding his arms and legs restricted in his straight jacket. Once she is done, she walks back and sits in her chair, folds her arms, and waits for him to move.

He slowly moves his arms and legs, giving them a stretch he no doubt hasn’t been allowed to have in a long while. 

‘Better?’ she asks, her tone impatient.

He chuckles, dead eyes watching her wearily. ‘You must have a death wish, or something.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘Oh please. If you were going to kill me, you would’ve ripped out that gene-repressant medicine and changed into the Hyde by now.’ Her patience is wearing thin now as she leans forward, sparking her to push the manilla folder closer to the boy. ‘But you haven’t, which means I have your curiosity. And I intend to keep that. Now - look.’

His smirk returns, sharp as a knife. ‘You have my curiosity, I’ll give you that. But not my respect.’

The girl mutters something irritable under breath as she opens the briefcase to show something else hidden among the documents stashed inside. Something dark and shiny. Metallic. ‘Make one wrong move and I will-’

‘You’ll what?’ His following chuckle is mirthless, humourless, empty even of despair. ‘You’ll blow my brains out? I’ve heard that threat before.’

‘I was going to say I would blow my brains out,’ she corrects, patting the hidden gun lightly before withdrawing her hand. 'If only so you don’t get the satisfaction of ripping me apart yourself. And isn’t part of the fun hearing the screams of your victims... Tyler?’

That brings a small smile to his face, even if it does edge on manic. 'As much as I would love to chat about what fun it was killing all those people… I see what you’re trying to do, Addams.’

Wednesday was a much more memorable name than (y/n). To everyone back then, she was just her less-psychotic older sister that stood to the side quietly and pulled Wednesday out of trouble when needed. Still weird, but not weird enough, she supposed. But despite her seniority, she was never considered cool like Wednesday, who wasn't afraid to be who she was on a large scale. (Y/n) was happy to be herself too, but in the sanctity of the library, her bedroom, behind her camera. It's why she was subjected to being merely Addams. For the only cool and outcast-y thing about her was her lineage.

But Tyler never used that. Not once. It was always (y/n) when they hung as friends. And despite her objections to her nickname, hearing her real name always brought a little light into her dark and twisted life.

We're not friends anymore, though.

‘I’m not trying anything,’ she replies, batting her eyes innocently at him.

‘Oh yeah, then what’s with this folder? Why risk freeing me just so you don’t have to dirty your own hands?’

‘Why don’t you open the folder and find out.’

They’re dancing a dangerous dance, stopping each other at exactly the right moment when one wants to turn away. By the irritated look in his eyes, she knows it bothers him. 

He contemplates the folder for a moment, and she worries that he will try to escape. But he opens the folder, his boney hands shaking as he does.

Surprise softens his features for the first time since she’s entered the room, and he looks like he did the day her and her sister first met him in the Weathervane coffee shop in Jericho. Actually, his face was screwed up in annoyance the first day they met, having to deal with a broken coffee machine. But when Wednesday fixed it, his features softened, and the girl couldn’t recall a moment where someone had looked so… appreciative of their presence.

He flicks through pictures that were previously enclosed in the folder, slowly, shakily. Like he wants to make sure what he is seeing is true and not just ghosts. After all, for those of them on the outside of the prison, pictured in the photos, the boy was just a ghost to them now, five years on. 

The pictures are of the town, of the new and old structures that made it up, of the festivals that have come and gone since he last saw it. The pictures are of people, too. She watches him carefully as he holds onto those ones in particular. There is pain as he glides his fingers softly over the aging faces of his friends, she can sense it. His gaunt face tightens even more when he spies a particular pigtailed, dark-lipped girl, the photo capturing her in the middle of showing one of her infamous rare smiles. 

‘That was our graduation day,’ the girl says, her voice gentle and quiet. Anything louder seemed inappropriate. But she did not lose her edge. ‘Enid thought it would be a great idea to try and jump off the top of the fountain in the quad on our final day. She ended up breaking four bones and howling like a baby wolf. Wednesday found the whole thing… well, you remember how she was. Rest assured, she is pretty much the same.’

The boy traces the photo, his eyes wide with a wonder and tenderness that the girl is surprised to see. A flicker of the past lights up in his chestnut eyes, and a spark of hope ignites in her chest.

But that flicker dies out, his lips drawing up in a sneer as he suddenly rips the photo in half, then again, and again, until the photo is nothing but scraps on the table. ‘What the fuck is the point of all this?’ he asks, his voice of a mixture of both anger and hurt. ‘What does any of this have to do with me?’

‘It has everything to do with you,’ she replies. ‘Considering your reaction, I don’t believe you’ve fully let go of the past. That maybe after all this time… you still care.’

‘What? Are you a psychiatrist or something now?’

She shrugs. 'I’m an Empath, it’s unavoidable for me to not extrapolate and decipher people’s thoughts and emotions. Especially strong ones like yours.’

‘Well, you’re wrong,’ he snaps back, shoving the photos away. ‘I don’t care about the past. I don’t care about the future. I played my part and it pleased my master. That’s all that matters!’

‘I don’t believe that for a second. And neither do you.’

‘What do you know?’

‘A lot more than you think. As usual, you underestimate me.’

‘Well, try this.’ He slams his hands on the table so hard it makes a thunderous clap that is almost deafening. ‘The only thing that I care about is getting out of here and destroying Wednesday Addams. The only regret I have about the past is that I didn’t kill all of you when I had the chance.’

The words sting, undoubtedly, like a thousand bees stabbing her heart. But the girl holds still, willing herself to keep her composure. She’d heard from the Sheriff himself that his visits usually ended here, when the boy threw insults at his own father and drove him away.

Let’s see what happens when I keep pushing.

‘You speak with such hateful words,’ she says calmly, daring to look him straight in the eye. ‘And yet they hold no meaning.’

‘What?’ he hisses, spittle flaying from his furious sneer. 

'Sorry, do I need to speak in laymen’s terms? You. Don’t. Mean. That.’

A feral snarl erupts from him as his hand reaches over the table to grab at her throat. But her hand is in range of the gun, and she is quick to draw it from the bag, unlock the safety and push it hard against his forehead. He immediately stops, his fury dissipating slightly as he reassessed his new situation.

‘I said I’d blow my head off, but I never said anything about not shooting you first,’ she says, each word clipped with deathly promise.

They are so close she can feel his breath caressing her placid face. Surprisingly, it is fresh, like the gently falling snow starting to build up outside as winter settles in. The warmth it brings contrasts the cold of the room, and she stops herself from leaning closer just to feel the sensation once more.

A war wages in their eyes as they stare each other down, but she presses the gun more forcefully against his forehead, and he seems to take the hint. He takes deep breaths as he slowly backs away, his hands raised in mock surrender as he finally sits down.

‘Wise choice.’ The girl places the gun back in the briefcase, safety back on, and folds her hands on the table once more. As if they were just having a civil conversation.

‘You know, pushing people away isn’t the solution,’ she continues. ‘But it does tell me one thing.’

‘And what’s that, Doc?’ he asks, his smirk no longer as sure or as wide. He looks exhausted, the dark circles under his lifeless eyes indicative of the sleepless nights, the mistreatment to his body, the baggage he still carries but does not wish to anymore.

‘That you don’t want people to see you like this,’ she answers. ‘Especially those who love you, and who you love in return.’

‘They don’t love me,’ he spits, venom in every word. She senses that he truly believes it. ‘If they loved me, they would understand. If they loved me, they wouldn’t question why I did what I did. If they truly loved me, none of this would’ve even happened!’

His eyes redden with salty tears, and it is the enormity of his pain and hurt and sadness that has the girl resisting the urge to cry, too. 

He wipes at the tears that trail down his face, but still more fall. A beat passes, then another, and another until he calms down once more. His red eyes look over the photos again, brushing aside the picture he tore to inspect the rest. When he is done, he leans back and looks up at the girl.

‘Why?’

She raises an eyebrow. ‘Why what?’

‘Why are you not in any of these?’

‘This isn’t about me.’

‘How do you expect me to open up to you Addams after five years of not seeing you, and expect me not to ask you some personal questions?’

The girl shrugs. ‘Fair point.’ She gathers the photos and turns them to face her. She flicks through them herself, a gentle tilt of her lips the only indication of the joy the memories brought.

‘I’m a professional photographer now,’ she says after a moment. ‘I have a blog where I post the pictures and write about the things I photograph. I'm also commissioned for photoshoots, occasionally. Sometimes it’s places I visit, or people I get to meet. Sometimes they’re wonderful, but other times not so much.’ She takes a breath to compose herself, flashes of torn body parts and frozen bodies coming to the forefront of her mind. Crime scenes, no matter how many she visited, were always the worst jobs.

She wills the memories away before she continues. 

‘This is a collection of photos from my perspective. How beautiful the world is through my eyes.’

‘You don’t think you belong in that kind of world.’ 

It isn’t a question. The girl looks up, expecting the hateful eyes she’s come to know from him. Instead, she is met with curiosity and wonder. He stares at her openly, and she reciprocates.

‘Yes,’ she breathes, nothing lighter than a whisper. 

‘Why?’

She pauses to contemplate her answer. She is meant to be interrogating him, not the other way around. But his words come back to haunt her, and the truth ringing in them spurs her to speak. 

‘Because… I can’t see myself. It’s like I am ghost in my own body. I am surrounded by people who stand out, who have their own minds and hearts and stories to tell. From a young age I have felt other people’s wants and needs, desires and emotions that I have no business feeling. I feel them so intrinsically that I imagine those emotions and desires were my own. And if I think hard enough, I might just be able to… shut it off.’

‘Shut what off?’ he asks, though the caution on his face tells her he already knows.

‘Their humanity,’ she replies as quick as flicking a light switch on. ‘The very thing that makes them human. I can just turn it off at the snap of my fingers.’

‘I’m sure Wednesday would love that.’

‘It is not something I wish to impart on anyone.’ Her words silence his amusement, turning the room colder with the icy bite they come with. ‘Because once I switch it off, turning back on... has proven to be a challenge. And you may think Wednesday is a soulless, unfeeling creature, but her emotions are just locked away, carefully concealed and only to be revealed when the right person warrants it.’

She gives him a pointed glare, and he has the right mind to look ashamed. If only for a second. 

‘However slim it is, her humanity remains her sole reason to do what she does. Otherwise, I would’ve been sister-less a long time ago.’

‘That still doesn’t answer my question, Addams,’ he interjects. At this, he leans forward on the table, curls bouncing as he stares directly in her eyes. She remembers those eyes, how they smiled at her sister so many times. How they proclaimed their love for her sister so many times. How they bulged and raged and went insane as he transformed into the Hyde all those years ago. But now - now they seek answers, and something else.

‘Why do you think you’re a monster like me?’

A cynical smile stretches her lips as she leans back and gestures to the photos spread across the table. Of Xavier painting; of Enid and Ajax snuggled up the first time they went camping as a group; of Bianca and some other Fangs dressed up for the final Raven they all attended. All of them smiling, having fun, being human.

‘Because there’s a small part of me that would enjoy crushing their happiness,' she replies, the strength in her delivery reflecting the truth of her words. 'And good people don't think like that.’

The same cynical smile appears on his face, and for a moment it’s just them. Two monsters revealing their darkest desires.

‘I know the feeling,’ he says, and a flicker of guilt flashes in his eyes.

Hope sparks once more inside of her, and she does her best to sound genuine. ‘You’re a good person. Before Laurel got to you, and even now. I can see it. I can sense it.’

He shakes his head, his mirthless laugh echoing throughout the room. ‘Don’t try to brainwash me into thinking I can be saved. Because I can’t, and even if I could, I wouldn’t fall for it. Like I said, I don’t regret what I did. I took pleasure in it.’

‘I’m sure you did, but you’re wrong. I’m not here to brainwash you.’

He cocked a skeptical eyebrow at her, curiosity winning over his resolve. ‘Then what are you here for?’

‘This is the longest conversation you’ve had with someone since you were first sent here,’ she said, packing the pictures up in the folder and placing it in her briefcase. ‘The people who brought me in may want me to help you open up and try to get you on a path of redemption. But I feel as if that is a decision you should make on your own. Obviously, I am biased to their aim, but I believe in freedom of speech, of choice, and of action when it comes to a person’s life.’

She stands from her seat and looks at him, the shadows from the flickering light no longer as scary as she first perceived. 

‘You’re a good person, Tyler,’ she repeats, her lips pulling up in her first genuine smile in ages. 'But, arguably, so am I. Everyone is capable of being good or evil. It then just comes down to what we want out of life, and how we utilise our flaws to attain that life.’

When the boy says nothing, she turns and walks to the door. She gently knocks on it, and a few seconds later it is opening and guards are flooding in and straight to the boy.

He struggles a little as they strap him back down, but stops when he realises the girl is leaving. ‘Wait! When are you coming back?’

She pauses at the door and turns, a chagrin smile on her dark lips. ‘Aw, are you going to miss me? Don’t worry, I’ll be back.’

‘But when, (y/n)?’

The fear in his eyes paired with the use of her name, her real name, almost causes her to falter, to stay just a bit longer. She senses the impending loneliness that he fears, that he has known these five years of incarceration, and the heaviness it brings causes her heart to ache with longing and hope. She must leave, but...

I can spare him one last goodbye, though.

She walks back over to where the guards hold him, their eyes locked the entire time. Once she’s close enough, she uses her pointer finger to tilt his head up to meet hers. 

‘Whenever I need to talk to another monster like me.’

With a flick of her finger his head drops and she is walking out of the interrogation room, already anticipating the next time she can see him again. And as she leaves, she catches one last emotion from the boy.

Mutual anticipation.

#wednesday netflix #wednesday #tyler galpin #wednesday addams #reader insert #fanfic #flash fiction #short story #writer #writers on tumblr #friends to enemies to lovers #tyler x wednesday #twisted love #x reader #female reader #romance #enid emma myers #jenna ortega #the addams family #hunter doohan #christina ricci #hyde #don't know what I'm doing #dark #goth #monster #spoilers #wednesdayspoilers #gore

[0mellow-marsh0]

Chinese Zodiac Legacy Challenge

The most widespread theory behind the Chinese Zodiac focuses on the Jade Emperor’s banquet. He is said to have invited all of the world’s animals but only 12 showed up. He decided to honor those 12 animals by dedicating one year to each animal in the order in which they showed up.

Hi! This is my first sims challenge ever. I’ve been wanting to do an animal-themed challenge but I couldn’t figure out what kind of theme I wanted to use until now! I had a lot of fun making this and I tried to be as thorough as possible so if you’re someone who appreciates specificity, like myself, this challenge is for you!

                                             !!!DISCLAIMERS!!!

I’m aware that the Chinese Zodiac utilizes elements like metal, water, etc., but due to the nature of this challenge I will focus on the general descriptions

Some expansion pack elements will be used in this challenge! I don’t have all of the expansion packs anyway so I’ll try to make it a majority of base game stuff but all of these can easily be compromised. Alternatives will be in italics

GENERAL RULES:

Give your sim a specific item in CAS for each generation (ex. glasses, jewelry, socks?!, etc.). Everything else is free reign! 

Try to incorporate at least one lucky color from each generation whether it’s in CAS or while customizing your home. If you find a way to use all the colors go ham!

If you have a trait from a pack and think it will be a better fit for the description given use it! You’re only allowed to substitute one trait

Start the first generation with $50,000. (NO OTHER MONEY CHEATS ALLOWED). Then go into CAS, temporarily choose a different aspiration, then choose the Fabulously Wealthy aspiration again. That resets the progress of the aspiration so it gives you a chance to actually play and earn the money yourself.

You can’t cheat skill levels or career levels

Lifespan can be set to whatever you want but aging must stay on

Occult sims are allowed

Next generation will begin when the heir is a YA but you can get a head start by leveling their skills up until then

Generation One: The Rat

Lucky colors: Gold, Blue, Green 

“ A Rats characteristics tend to be more quick-witted with keen observation and foresight; which is why it was first to the emperor’s banquet! Rats also have bright and optimistic personalities which make them adapt to changes in any environment and easily get help from others. However, though Rats are ambitious in their careers, they may not be qualified to become great leaders due to their stubbornness and lack of empathy and humility.”

You are the very definition of progress, the perfect person to create and define your legacy.

Traits: Ambitious, Genius, Snob Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy Career: Doctor/Business (Management Branch)

Live to the city/start a new life in Newcrest

Must marry a coworker (You work too much to find love any other way)

Max out your career

Max Logic skill and two other skills of your choice

Have triplets (Cheats can be used for this)

Complete aspiration

Generation Two: The Ox

Lucky Colors: Red, Blue, Purple

“Like the ox, people born in the Year of the Ox are industrious, cautious, less talkative, hold their faith firmly, and are always glad to offer help. It is said that Ox ranks second among the Chinese zodiacs because it helped the Rat but was later tricked by it. They have the talents to be leaders and are good at managing, but maybe a little strict. Oxen like routines and respects traditional ideas, doing things step by step. The persistence makes most of them become tireless workers.”

You’re extremely loyal to a fault. Just like your predecessor you are stubborn and hard-working. You run a conservative household but you are fair to everyone in it.

Toddler Trait: Independent Child Aspiration: Social Butterfly YA Traits: Active, Perfectionist, Neat YA Aspiration: Neighborhood Confidante Career: Salaryman/Business (Investor Branch)

Goals:

Must live in Willow Creek

Marry someone older than you (must be your first and only partner)

Get cheated on by a lover but stay with them

Have only 2 children, one boy and one girl (cheats can be used)

Max Charisma skill

Must complete aspiration

Host a party every two weeks

Generation Three: The Tiger

Lucky Colors: Gray, Blue, White, Orange

“ The Tiger are natural leaders and they can always bravely put brilliant ideas into practice. They are also generous, passionate, and hold a strong sense of justice. When meeting the weak or seeing anything unfair, the Tigers stand up and offer help. They are adventurous, ambitious, and have a strong sense of justice, but maybe also a little arrogant and impetuous.”

You are a natural-born leader who is strong and stubborn yet possess a soft heart. Just like your parent, you pride yourself on looking out for others but strive for a more relaxed household. You embody kindness and appreciate the outdoors.

Toddler Trait: Independent Child Aspiration: Rambunctious Scamp YA Traits: Loves Outdoors, Self-Assured, Outgoing YA Aspiration: Friend of the World Career: Politician (Politician Branch)

Goals:

Have only 1 child you love dearly

Live in Sulani/Oasis Springs

Start a garden and grow four different fruits and four different vegetables

Max the Charisma and Logic Skill

Max out your Career

Complete at least 1/2 of your aspiration

Generation Four: The Rabbit

Lucky Colors: Red, Blue, Pink, Purple

“Generally, the Rabbits are positive, gentle, and elegant. They love freedom, but once set goals, they just march forward for it without distractions. They are also self-disciplined, the typical kind of people who are strict with themselves but tolerant of others. Though looking mild and soft, the Rabbits in fact are alert to strangers and outsiders. They don’t trust others easily, unlikely to be fooled by others.”

You are the very definition of beauty and elegance, yet a little emotionally unstable under the surface. You struggle to find your place in the world but you fake it until you make it!

Toddler Trait: Angelic Child Aspiration: Social Butterfly YA Traits: Erratic, Family-Oriented, Paranoid/Gloomy YA Aspiration: Big Happy Family Career: Education

Goals:

Move at least 2 times (Final destination must be Henford-on-Bagely/Willow Creek)

Date at least 1 other person before getting married

Have at least 4 children

Master the Writing and Parenting skill

Must have a flower garden

Complete at least 3/4 of aspiration

Generation Five: Dragon

Lucky Colors: Gold, Silver, Hoary (grayish-white)

“The Dragon is full of fighting spirit and strength. The Dragons may look indifferent, however, they actually are chivalrous and always think of others.  They are charismatic, attracting a lot of followers and their talented leadership skills naturally convince every subordinate. But the Dragon’s pride may bring prejudice, and it is also a little hard for them to have the force of will to follow through. If they want to achieve excellence and get great success, then honing the willpower is indispensable.”

Growing up in a big family you always aimed to be the center of attention. You have no problem making friends and often find yourself surrounded by people who worship you.

Toddler Trait: Charmer Child Aspiration: Social Butterfly YA Traits: Goofball, Outgoing, Self-Assured YA Aspiration: World Famous Celebrity/Friend of the World Career: Social Media (Internet Personality Branch)/Style Influencer (Trend Setter Branch)

Goals:

Live in Del Sol Valley/Oasis Springs

Marry someone famous/rich

Have as many children as you want

Max Charisma Skill

Never turn down an invite to a party unless you’re working

Complete your aspiration

Generation Six: The Snake

Lucky Colors: Red, Light Yellow, Black

“The Snake easily attracts others for their mysterious character and graceful behaviors. They are calm and thorough and can always carry out a plan from the beginning to the end.  The Snakes are typically deep thinkers who are perceptive and skeptical about everything. In the love aspect, the Snakes are devoted lovers who will not fall in love with someone else.”

You are mysterious, attractive, and calm with a sensitive side. You have any interests and have no problem making friends. Growing up around extravagance you learned to appreciate the little things.

Toddler Trait: Clingy Child Aspiration: Artistic Prodigy YA Traits: Bookworm, Creative, Family-Oriented YA Aspiration: Soulmate Career: Painter (Patron of the Arts Branch)

Goals:

Stay in the same neighborhood as your parents

Marry your childhood best friend

Max Painting skill

If you have Get to Work, open your own retail store by the time you are an elder and sell your paintings/if not sell your paintings regularly

Max out your career

Have only one child

Generation Seven: The Horse

Lucky Colors: Brown Yellow, Purple

“The Horse is lively, energetic, courageous, and enthusiastic about people and life. However, they are not good at hiding emotions and their feelings will be easily shown on their face. Most of them are fond of joining social activities. They have a keen eye and display strong logical thinking, which makes them easily discover the essence of the phenomena and be considerate enough to take care of other people’s emotions.”

Unlike The Snake, you are extremely expressive. You love partying and getting to know others. You’ve never had a never had a negative relationship.

Toddler Trait: Silly Child Aspiration: Social Butterfly YA Traits: Bro, Cheerful, Outgoing YA Aspiration: Party Animal Career: Actor/Entertainer (Comedian Branch)

Goals:

Live in the city/Willow Creek

If in the city, your apartment must have the Lively Neighbors trait

Marry someone you met at a party

Throw/attend a party every weekend

Have one child but struggle to maintain a relationship with them

Complete your aspiration

Generation Eight: The Goat

Lucky Colors: Green, Red, Purple

“Goats care about others’ feelings and never intend to hurt people. Their upright personality also makes them sympathetic enough to understand other people’s problems from various perspectives, especially for their friends and loved ones. However, sometimes they can be very passive and tend to be a pessimist to see bad aspects of things, which means that they need strong support and enough understanding from their friends. Also, they keep alert when strangers step into their domains.”

Growing up without a lot of support from your parents made you sensitive to the things around you. You are very in tune with others but struggle to find stability in yourself.

Toddler Trait: Clingy Child Aspiration: Social Butterfly YA Traits: Gloomy, Good, Jealous YA Aspiration: Musical Genius Career: Entertainer (Musician Branch)

Goals:

Struggle academically throughout your school years

Marry your high school sweetheart

Have no more than 3 children

Build your own home office for music creation

Complete aspiration

Have at least $40,000 in your household fund, get a part-time job if needed

Generation Nine: The Monkey

Lucky Colors: White, Gold, Blue

“The monkey is intelligent, smart, and always appreciated by teachers and parents throughout adolescence. They also have strong bodies, all of they perform well in an organization and they tend to be excellent leaders compared to anyone else. In life, they are helpful and humorous enough to be favored by people. However, boasting may hinder them to make great success and they need more patience.”

Living with soft parents helped you get away with a lot. Though you excelled in school, you were very mischievous, and a little irresponsible.

Toddler Trait: Wild Child Aspiration: Rambunctious Scamp YA Traits: Athletic, Cheerful, Goofball YA Aspiration: Chief of Mischief Career: Athlete

Goals:

Maintain A’s in school

Once you reach level 5 in your career quit your job and getting married

Marry someone with the Mischief trait and become partners in crime

Have an elaborate wedding

Have only one child

Build an expensive home gym

Generation Ten: The Rooster

Lucky Colors: Gold, Brown, Yellow

“Roosters are good at making friends and adjusting themselves to new environments. Whenever there is a tricky problem, they wont give up easily and try every means to solve it. Since they cannot stand lagging behind others, self-improving is an important part of their life. However, as the name implies, Rooster people tend to be cocky or even arrogant sometimes. Their craving for attention may make others feel uncomfortable. The lack of patience could be another problem.”

You gained The Monkey’s smarts but unlike them, you decide to utilize your intelligence to the fullest. You obsess over excellence and only accept the best. Your daily activities include going to work and coming home.

Toddler Trait: Independent Child Aspiration: Whiz Kid YA Traits: Ambitious, Genius, Snob YA Aspiration: Nerd Brain Career: Astronaut (Space Ranger Branch)

Goals:

Live in Strangerville/Oasis Springs

Reach level 5 of your career before getting married

Marry someone that works for a service (firefighter, food delivery person, mail carrier, etc.). You fall in love with them unexpectedly

Have 2 children but place most of the responsibility for raising your children on your partner due to your studies

Complete your aspiration

Build a backyard shed or basement for science equipment

Generation Eleven: The Dog

Lucky Colors: Green, Red, Purple

“Dog people are cautious by nature, which means it may take a comparably long time for Dogs to accept new friends. However, once Dogs accept a friend, they will be very loyal to the friend and always be supportive. Dogs are loyal friends, honest lovers, and reliable families. Though being just and honest, Dogs are also very critical and sometimes make a sharp criticism. They are not good at taking in the whole picture to consider things, which may lead to misunderstanding and blaming their own mistakes on others.”

Despite not spending a lot of time with The Rooster, you are a lot like them. That’s probably why you butted heads so much as a child.

Toddler Trait: Independent Child Aspiration: Whiz Kid YA Traits: Bro, Hot-Headed, Loyal/Bro YA Aspiration: The Curator Career: Critic (Food Critic Branch)

Goals:

Live in Bridleton Bay/Newcrest

Go for a jog at least 4 times a week

Marry the first person you date

Have 3 kids and be an extremely active parent in the household

If you have the Dogs and Cats pack, adopt a cat (Oh the irony!)/if not, keep a pet fish

Max the Cooking skill and make every meal for your household

Generation Twelve: The Pig

Lucky Colors: Yellow, Gray, Brown, Gold

“Pigs are always diligent and upright and never to be pretentious. Thus Pigs are easy to get others’ trust. Their compassionate and genuine personality makes them glad to offer others a hand at any time, which results in getting a lot of good friends. They are called upon when sincere advice is needed and will always give a helping hand. Pigs may be a little realistic and emotional, and it is hard for them to detect lies and thus easily be fooled by bad people.”

You are the final generation. You are kind-hearted and loved by many. Although you had the perfect family as a child, you decided against having children. You choose to live your days focusing on your career, your personal growth, and your partner.

Toddler Trait: Inquisitive Child Aspiration: Social Butterfly YA Traits: Clumsy, Glutton, Outgoing YA Aspiration: Freelance Botanist Career: Law (Public Attorney Branch)/Gardener (Botanist Branch)

Goals:

Live in Sulani/Willow Creek

Max Charisma skill

Complete at least 1/2 of your aspiration

Marry someone with the romantic trait

Have your partner cook every meal for you (Out of love, not obligation!!)

Retire as soon as you are an Elder and live out the rest of your days tending to your garden

If you do decide to have children, you must have twins (Use cheats)

#sims 4 #sims #sims legacy challenge #sims challenge #sims 4 challenge #ts4 challenge #ts4 legacy #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 legacy challenge #ts4 legacy challenge

[sparrowsage]

Sparrow being offered to be drugged for a showing, which Damon promises will be the worst yet.

He can either be awake and feel it all, all the pain and humiliation, but still have the opportunity to fight. Or he could be blissfully unaware and 'sleep' through it. Wake up hours later, none the wiser and just a little sore.

Thank you so much for this! I was all giddy at the idea, it's so fucking beautiful! And I have to give an amazing thanks to @darkthingshappen for the use of her Whumper Volkov, who is mentioned in this piece! Her and I have some things planned with Volkov and Sparrow that was mentioned in this drabble that we're excited to share with you once it's done!

TW: Very vague implications of future noncon, mentions of past abuse/torture, drug mentions, implied future drugging, the term "boy" used for an adult male (if I missed any, let me know!)

Fighting the Decision (A Warehouse Drabble)

“Get the fuck away from me,” Sparrow growled, doing his best to back up from Damon as he approached him. 

He had only been back at the Warehouse for a few days after his two week stay at the island, and while he was regrettably glad to be back in a familiar place, all Sparrow wanted was more than a few days rest before things returned to normal. Some peace before the oncoming storm he was sure to endure. 

Damon clicked his tongue a couple times, looking down at the pet on the floor of his office, crossing his arms over his chest. “The whole point of that trip was to see what you’ve learned so far, but all it seems to have done is bring you back to where you started.” 

“It was a sick and twisted joke and you know it,” Sparrow snarled back. “Why even send me there if I were to end up back here?” 

Damon quirked an eyebrow, seeming to be slightly amused by the words despite it being back talk. “I was curious to see how you’d do under a different hand, and while you’ve resorted back to how I first got you two months ago, there have been noticeable changes in how you behave. You seem more…how should I put it? Afraid.” 

Sparrow clenched his fists behind his back, his wrists straining against the metal cuffs that kept them locked behind him. “I’m not afraid of you,” Sparrow said, though his tone was more quiet than before. 

“Oh, I think you are,” Damon said in return, crouching down so he was more level with the pet. “I have a proposition for you then.” 

Sparrow did his best to scoot back even more when Damon crouched down, trying to hold himself to appear bigger, but all he really wanted to do was hide in the shadows of the office and disappear. 

“What the fuck is a proposition?” Sparrow asked harshly, earning an amused chuckle from the Keeper. 

“You’re so naive it’s funny, Songbird. An idea, I have an idea. I have quite the audience waiting for your next Showing since you’ve been absent for two weeks, so I have one scheduled for you in an hour. Since you’ve been fighting me at every turn ever since you returned, I thought I’d give you an option on how this Showing would go.” 

“I don’t want to do a fucking Showing, cancel it.” 

Damon shook his head softly, looking over the pet’s body. “You know that’s not an option. The choices are you go through this welcome home Showing lucid. Wide awake, able to feel and endure everything like you normally do. Or,” Damon paused, letting the first option sink in before he continued, “You can go through it drugged, to the point where you don’t remember a thing.” 

This has to be a trick, Sparrow thought. Damon has never had him drugged for a Showing, preferring him to be awake and lucid to elicit more of a reaction. 

“Why give me the stupid options when you’ll just end up choosing the first one?” Sparrow asked, his body rigid and tense at the thought of the whole thing. 

“Because I’m genuinely asking. I know Volkov does things differently than I do, so I’m giving you an out to ease you back into the system. If you go with the first option, you can still fight against everything I do. Granted, it’ll do nothing in the end, but you’ll still be able to try. If you go with the second option, you get a break from it all, but it’ll leave you entirely at my mercy. This may be the only time I grant you this out, Songbird, so choose wisely.” 

“Either way, I end up in a world of fucking pain and end up humiliated,” the pet mumbled, but his gaze shifted to the floor as he thought it over. 

A break. When has he ever gotten a break from all of this? To have a choice in not remembering any of the things done to him? The Keeper hardly ever went back on his word, so the fact that Sparrow would never be given this chance again weighed down on him heavily. 

But drugged to the point of not remembering anything that’s going on? Damon would probably give him something so he’d still be somewhat awake. The fucker loved hearing him moan and scream. He wouldn’t be able to do anything against what the Keeper had planned. It seemed like a lose-lose situation. Stay awake and endure it all and remember it but still stick to fighting back or not remember a thing and be as compliant as they come and embarrass himself due to the lack of thought. 

As Sparrow thought over the options, Damon merely cocked his head to the side slightly, content to watch his Songbird think. It almost seemed like he could see the gears in Sparrow’s head turn, trying to figure out the best option. Regardless of his choice, the boy would go through the Showing and it would be a sight to behold. 

After several minutes, Sparrow let out a sigh, his gaze not moving up from the floor, his head hanging in defeat. “The second one,” he mumbled, his body slowly going lax in his seated position on the floor. “Just get it over with.” 

Damon’s eyes widened at the choice, the Keeper pushing himself up to his feet as he smiled down at the other. “Second option it is.” 

Sparrow clenched his jaw as he heard Damon leave the office, flinching as he heard the door shut. 

It felt like he was giving up on everything he had fought for up to this point, but all he truly wanted was a break. A true break from everything he was going through. Once it was all over, he’d be back to his normal, fighting self and things would resume as normal. 

Sparrow couldn’t help a tiny part of himself hoping that Damon would keep him in that state forever so he’d never have to remember any of this again. But that was wishful thinking. The Keeper would never be that merciful. Might as well take the small mercy while he could. 

Taglist: @mannerofwhump, @honey-is-mesi, @painful-pooch, @whumperfully, @hiding-in-the-shadows, @flowersarefreetherapy, @goronska, @blueyellow8green, @oddsconvert, @darkthingshappen, @whumpcereal, (If you want to be added, let me know!)

#answered ask #answered prompt #The Warehouse #Damon Graves #Sparrow Cresky #Very vague implications of future noncon #mentions of past abuse/torture #drug mentions #implied future drugging #the term “boy” used for an adult male #drabble #Warehouse drabble

[victimized-martyr]

How do you feel about Liane Cartman? I see a lot of debate about her character and how she's impacted Eric, so I'd love to know what you think! Also love your art, it always puts a smile on my face when I'm stressed out :) <3

I’m fascinated by Liane as much as I pity her. Her character was the byproduct of Trey’s lasting grief over his cheating fiancé (of the same name) and in the early seasons, her one dimensional attitude was just a surface level explanation why Cartman starts out as a brat. All characters are a tool to convey the message or feelings of the author, but Liane more than any other character to me, is a literal representation of Trey’s embitterment.

But as Trey got over that grief, it reflected in Liane’s portrayal. She’s not just a whore, doing drugs if she’s not tending to eric’s demands or cooking. We start to get hints that she’s artistically and musically inclined, that her love for Cartman is overly saccharine (pet names, babying) as much as it is transactional (“if you go to the ice show with me, I’ll give you a toy”) if not hinted to be conditional (hesistance in assuring she loves cartman regardless if he’s ginger or not, her asking if it’s too late if she can abort an 8 yr old). But somewhere down the line… I wanna say tsst, or coon trilogy… she’s tired of putting of with Cartman and starts to resemble other south park female characters that are fed up with their male counterpart for their incompetency or moral failure (such as wendy or sharon). That character transition is bumpy in my eyes, and with the implication she’s given up her “adult tutoring” to fully take on the responsibility of parenting Eric, trying to get a stable job and seemingly no longer taking drugs, I question what it is of her we’re left with. Whoredom and poor parenting is the foundation of her character, after all.

At the very least I’m glad the show/ liane has the self awareness to verbally acknowledge she hasn’t been a good parent (Shots). And I appreciate her talking directly to the crowd of sp and therefor us in saying that at least now, she’s trying. It made me realize that like Eric, she’s received little sympathy from her peers and even less grace in her efforts to change.

I don’t know why Liane’s parenting is a topic of debate when SP shows us that her life is lonely, she bore a child she didn’t want but kept to treat as a friend than a son, who’s lifestyle choices made her irresponsible to raise a child. All of which contributes to Cartman’s rancid behavior. This isn’t subtext, or reading between the lines, or overwritten canon. From season 1 to now, this is what we know of Liane.

I’m not opposed to the modern shift in her portrayal as long as she is written with solid personality traits to keep it grounded. To keep Liane, well, Liane.

But that’s it isn’t it? of the 25 years we’ve known her, we don’t really know who Liane is other than the few things outside of sex she likes. And with the focus of Cartman and Liane in overarching stories like the hotdog arc, I think adding depth to her character and mapping out who she is would enrich these stories, especially in light of Cartman seeming to finally, belatedly, apologize for his actions (panderverse).

#asks #now on curious cat! since twitter doesn’t have a proper ask system lol #south park #eric cartman #talk tag #cartman #liane #liane cartman

[bad-surprise]

⭐️directors commentary of your choice please?

i held onto this for a minute because i knew i wanted to wait until the fic was complete (same for museum, that’s sitting in my inbox for now)

apologies in advance, this is a long one.

but i thought you might

haladriel modern au | E | 135.4k | 26/26

but i thought you might (bitym) began as a promptfill i posted on december 9th, 2022— the day i created my fandom twitter account.

at very basic level, bitym is a story about purity culture and the impact it has on those who grow up within it, even if they believe they never bought into the conditioning. it taught me that i love writing about sex— particularly deeply psychological sex scenes that reveal new info about the characters and their relationship, motivations, and overall dynamic.

it really only exists because my husband had covid that week, and because i was exposed but tested negative we were isolating separately. i had a lot of time to fill and spent a lot of it daydreaming, listening to music, and writing little bits of a story in my notes app. there was a very clear moment where hal’s voice just clicked for me and the first chapter came together from there. chapters 1, 2, the last half of 4, and 5 were all written first, back when i thought it would be an 8k one shot. i still have the draft of this, along with another one shot version of it.

it was inspired by memories of high school, particularly one off-campus lunch senior year where a friend confessed that she and her boyfriend had sex and she enjoyed it and didn’t know what to do with that. i believe my response was “i’m pretty sure you’re supposed to like it,” but she started crying. hal and gal’s high school is largely based on the private religious school i attended, and when i imagine their campus, that’s the image in my mind.

i really struggled to find a title, and sort of impulsively chose a line from home by daughter because i thought that song captured the right vibe.

personally, the story only becomes something i’m not embarrassed by around chapter 6. i knew what i was writing towards at that point but only in vague terms. going back into hal’s pov there for the first time since chapter 2 really clarified things for me. i’m not proud of it until chapter 10.

note: spoilers for the entirety of but i thought you might below.

many of my favorite elements were happy accidents, including the introduction of luthien, the two year time jump in chapter 11, the entire diner scene, and hal going to therapy. in conversations with my husband, i was adamant for so long that bitym!hal would never go to therapy. i underestimated what he would be willing to do for gal.

i didn’t really know the ending until around march, and a key aspect of it changed while drafting the penultimate chapter. the original ending i had in mind was incredibly dark, much closer to the shark in your water. it was initially going to be a story about hal thinking he was free from the religious conditioning but turning out to be just as toxic as fin, and galadriel coming to terms with being trapped. i was terrified when this changed and so so scared that hal would lose empathy from readers because of what he did, but ultimately that doesn’t seem to have happened.

the process of writing felt like constant excavation. i felt my way through the story intuitively, with a very flexible list of some plot points in my mind, but i was pretty much flying blind here. i’m so glad it worked out alright in the end.

easter eggs/random bits of info

references

“but they say you have the voice of an angel” is a reference to the music of the ainur

many celebrian moments were inspired by tiktoks and reddit posts.

“the last person i dated was awful” from chapter 17 (i think?) is the only morgoth reference in the whole fic. i debated including him but it ultimately felt like too much work to add it in and i don’t think the story needed it.

when hal’s telling galadriel how he lost his virginity, he says “she had a boyfriend anyway”. this is a reference to the song sex by the 1975.

in chapter 18, the event the girls go to is a reference to revolve tour (the girls who get it, get it)

the conversation hal and gal have about the differences in sex ed for girls and guys at their school is intended to slightly reference “then why is it not gone from here?” in the show, which is largely how it felt for me to leave evangelicalism before recovering from a lot of the related trauma. i didn’t believe it anymore, so why was it still strangling me all the fucking time?

depression as anger turned inward comes from my therapist, who knows i used it in this fic.

takes 20 attempts for halbrand to get the ring right because 3 rings for the eleven kings + 7 for the dwarf lords + 9 for mortal men = 19 before he forges the one.

hal is an aeronautical engineer working in the defense sector. this is a reference to some legendarium stuff around sauron in numenor.

writing process + personal shit:

in the first draft, hal was morgoth’s son and there was a plot point involving the theft of the silmarils.

the nursing student line in chapter 1 is based on some people i knew at university.

i am too embarrassed to read chapters 2 and 3. like i just want to curl up and hide whenever i think about either of those chapters, i think they’re terrible.

there are many “deleted scenes” from bitym that just didn’t fit into the narrative in the end, so they live in the unused scenes folder in my scrivener project. one of these scenes— a description of hal’s apartment— actually ended up being used for museum, and another scene i deleted was reworked for chapter 7 of shark.

i wrote the infamous chapter 5 car scene in the middle of the night, during what felt like a dissociative state, because i knew if i wasn’t exhausted my inner critic would start shame spiraling due to my own religious upbringing.

every single purity culture experience in the text, with the exception of chastity club and the purity pledge, is something that actually happened in my life. the only reason i didn’t do a purity pledge is because i missed youth group that week.

“they cannot convince her she’s sinned” is 100% from my own experience of being surprised by my complete lack of guilt lol.

i really want to have a longer convo about the consent stuff in it because i’m fascinated by some of the responses i got to the chapter 5 car scene. some people were really angry with me for it, which was interesting bc i really had the archive warning on there because of the birth control tampering.

i fucked up the time skip in chapter 11 and added an extra year. this changed the story dramatically (and is why the ending ultimately changed) but i prefer the way it turned out. i also fucked up the age gap between fin and gal, and don’t ask me what grade celebrian is in bc basically i cannot do math to save my life.

i find it really interesting how many readers seem to think galadriel’s POV chapters are more reliable than hal’s, because i definitely see it the opposite way.

i get super nervous about the references to their jobs because i’m terrified of getting something wrong but definitely don’t know the ins and outs. i do research, but i still feel super inadequate there, which is why you never see her at work and only see him at work twice.

chapter 13 (diner scene) was so difficult to plan, but once i decided to use those two songs, it became fairly straightforward. it’s one of my favorite chapters in the entire story.

you probably know this by now if you’ve read chapter 25, but their first kiss being in a closet was 100% deliberate.

i’m so so proud of the sequence with the pregnancy tests in chapter 15.

i decided celebrian would be in this while writing chapter 6.

the drive home from the bachelorette party was written about five days after i started working on bitym.

i knew as soon as chapter 6 that hal would wait until celebrian was born to tell galadriel that he loved her, but holy shit it was so difficult to wait that long.

the scene I’m most proud of is the opening to chapter 23.

misc. in universe info:

the night out with elrond and miriel in chapter 22 stresses me out so much bc gal doesn’t understand what she’s doing and it’s such a horrible position for hal to be in, seeing how she’s basically asking him to come out to her before he’s ready. this all happens only a few days before galadriel leaves for the first time.

hal doesn’t know that galadriel doesn’t think they’re a couple until B+L’s wedding. his response when she tries to bring it up earlier is because he’s worried officially defining it its going to either set him up for failure, or scare her off completely, but in his mind, they were basically together together as soon as he said “yeah, i think i’ll keep you” in chapter 5.

there are subtextual references to substance use issues in hal’s family. this is why he doesn’t drink much or do drugs— though by his 32nd birthday his attitude is a bit more relaxed, considering that their second child is conceived while both of them are drunk lol

in chapter 12, galadriel left her car in accessory for too long and the battery died. hal is fully aware of this and totally could’ve just jumped her battery but he missed her and wanted an excuse to spend time with her.

galadriel’s apprehension about motherhood doesn’t come from a lack of interest altogether, but because the only model she’s really had is one of 100% loss of identity, which is something she’s not willing to do. initially, i planned on this being her ultimate fate and good lord i’m so happy i didn’t go there.

i’m very careful in hal’s therapy sessions to have him refer to “people” he’s dated/slept with, rather than “women.”

galadriel’s friends 100% thought she was sleeping with hal AND celeborn in high school, hence their confusion at her response to finding out they were sexually active then.

hal’s parents aren’t actually homophobic or biphobic, they just didn’t know how to handle that situation and so they sort of pretended it didn’t happen. and if you want to know what happened, it’s just your usual homophobic bullying— the boy he liked turned on him to avoid being a target himself.

hal has had panic attacks his entire life but wasn’t diagnosed with panic disorder until shortly before galadriel moved out for real. he’s very resistant to using rescue meds and thinks he should just be able to tough it out.

they split bills proportionally based on income, with hal contributing 66% and gal 34% around the time of celebrian’s birth. galadriel doesn’t know much about hal’s finances until they buy the house.

i loved seeing how responses to amarie changed as she challenged expectations in the later timeline. i feel really bad for her— it’s implied in the final chapter that she married fin when she was 20 and he was 24, and she dropped out of college as a result. what they’re struggling with by the end is the fact that she wants to finish her degree and has made peace with the fact that they don’t have kids— more of that will be in peppermint for sure.

another aspect in the background that i knew about but decided against mentioning is that celebrian was born just before covid, which is a huge part of why they fell out with galadriel’s family. hal’s health anxiety meant nobody was getting anywhere near his baby and they were not feeling that at all. this might come up a little in peppermint, we’ll see. i doubt i would directly mention covid, just the fact that both of them were working from home for a large part of celebrian’s first few months.

celebrian’s first word was fuck. hal insists it doesn’t count. gal disagrees.

both hal and gal can be read as neurodivergent. it’s revealed in peppermint that celebrian does have adhd. hal also can be read as meeting the diagnostic criteria for borderline personality disorder— that was unintentional but i think it makes a lot of sense.

significant influences on bitym

films/tv

like crazy

normal people

about time

saved

couples therapy

the worst person in the world

before midnight

lady bird

500 days of summer

non-fiction

leaving the fold: a guide for former fundamentalists and others leaving their religion by marlene winell

complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving by pete walker

hold me tight by sue johnson

adult children of emotionally immature parents by lindsay c. gibson

three women by lisa taddeo

fiction

normal people by sally rooney

beautiful world where are you? by sally rooney

little rabbit by alyssa songsiridej

the unbearable lightness of being by milan kundera

atonement by ian mcewan

musical theater

the last five years

spring awakening

once

my favorite lines

Fighting is foreplay, so they never fight fair. Grievances are grenades, painstakingly primed for maximum impact. If the situation escalates to all-out warfare, consequences take a brutal turn. All hope of a ceasefire hangs on her eventual surrender to submission. — chapter 8

“Stop fucking running from what you want,” he murmurs, slipping his free hand beneath her shoulders, golden hair tangled around his wrist and laced between his fingers as they sink into her skin. “You’re not scared of me, you’re scared of yourself.” The words sear into her with the precision of a cautery pen, burning through any vestiges of self-denial still humming in her mind, loosening each thought at the root. — chapter 10

Galadriel murmured the words over and over again, whispering them against his lips, pressing them into his mouth, until the taste of each syllable was as familiar to him as the salt of her tears. — chapter 11

“Deciding to leave is very different from deciding to not love you anymore.” — chapter 13

If Galadriel is sunlight, Celebrian is made from the stars. — chapter 21

“I’d be first in line at the gates of hell,” Hal says slowly, with all the steadfast solemnity of a vow or a prayer, “if it meant I could keep this beautiful fucking life of ours for just a little longer.” — chapter 25

“You can stop beating yourself up for this shit, honey.” Hal’s thumb brushes her temple. “It’s not on you to fix something you didn’t fucking break.” — chapter 26

Maybe Hal was right. Maybe these moments only matter because of their fleeting, ephemeral nature. Maybe that overwhelming ache she once believed would shatter her served as a method to hollow out space for feeling to inhabit— this precious alloy of quiet contentment and contagious joy, irresistible wonder and the recalcitrance of love, all bound together by a strand of defiant hope. — chapter 26

“I might never be able to heal the parts of you— of us, of our family, our life— that I’ve broken. But you have my word, Galadriel,” his voice drops, each syllable low and firm, carrying the weight of an oath, “I will keep trying— until my last fucking breath, until the end of the goddamn world.” — chapter 26

that was probably a lot more than anyone wanted to know haha, so i’ll stop myself there. this fic means so fucking much to me and i’m so so proud of it. i never thought i’d be capable of writing anything like it and it’s so overwhelming in the best way to know that it means a lot to other people too.

hopefully this answered a lot of questions, but my ask box is open for anything at all— i could talk about concepts in and the process of writing bitym for days (i’m usually holding back bc i don’t want to be annoying) so please feel free to reach out with whatever.

and again, thank you all for everything. you’re amazing.

#answered #my fics: bitym #my fics: but i thought you might #fanfic directors commentary #poeticmemory

[sissybabycucksophia]

😨😨Not What I Expected Part 2😨😨

As the man i was now to call master took pictures of me sat in my purple mermaid fit uniform which was locked shut at 5 different points, my pathetic and masculinity destroying makeup and my knewly fitted chest length locks of hair I began to wonder what was next. Like an idiot i attempted to speak without permission, “Ok Johnny i think we’ve both had our fun here but unlock me now and help me out of these hideous clothes and get these stupid extensions out… man too man this is getting a little strange now” I stupidly said like a man as i stood up and puffed out my chest and stood in as masculine and confident a posture as i could.

However nothing quite humbles a sissy faggot holding onto his masculinity more than a real man physically over powering and abusing him. Without missing a beat Johnny put his phone in his pocket and he would plainly gesture for me to turn around “move your long hair round over your shoulder then so its out of the way” Johnny said calmly and with a nonchalant attitude. Stupidly i breathed a sigh of relief as I turned my back to johnny and like girl daintily swept my chest length locks over my shoulder to make the first of 5 padlocks visible, as I stepped back slightly and closer too johnny I said “good man, see I’m glad you’ve seen sense and stopped this before it got weird. Really had me worried there when you wanted me to lie about being transgender to Mel” with a tone almost as though talking to someone on my level. However what happened next was most definitely not what I’d expect.

Before i knew what was happening or even could think about reacting Johnny had slung on arm around my neck from behind pulling me tight in against him. Within seconds I was in a very tight headlock and thanks too the height difference of nearly a foot and a half, Johnny had me held off the ground struggling too breath. In instant panic I tried to grasp and pull Johnny’s arm off my throat but between his superior strength and my faggy white satin gloves I was getting nowhere, i also began to violently try and kick and swing my legs however the restrictive and tight mermaid fit of my locked uniform made the swings pointless. Fear flooded my body as my breathing became heavily restricted and tears began to well up in my eyes. Gasping for air, I was filled with fear mixed with humiliation and disgust as i was pulled into johnny and could feel as clear as day his erect cock in his pants press against the outside of my dress.

“Lets get something straight here, if you ever… ever try to talk to me like we’re on the same level again, so help me god your punishment will be unbearable! No your not getting out of this uniform you dumb faggot! And these extensions? Their your hair now! And your one dumb bitch if you think when i drag your ass through the centre of town kicking and screaming by it dressed like this that it won’t hurt like real hair! Now when i put your faggot ass down your gonna start learning to behave like the dumb, submissive, weak and unmanly sissy faggot that you’ve been fantasising about to me in messages for months! Got that?!” Johnny grunted to me, what could i say?! All i could think is ‘i cant die like this! If i die he’ll just dump my body in a woods dressed like this then everyone will know the kinda weak little sissy i was in life!’ So i tried to nod as tears rolled down my cheeks. In that moment Johnny released his grip allowing my purple shoe imprisoned feet to touch the ground. The moment my feet touch the ground I collapsed to my knees and hunched forward grabbing my throat and coughing, as i tried to kneel the dress restricted me making me ever more aware of its presence and my predicament. “Get up faggot!” Johnny grunted. What choice did i have? He could’ve killed me! I surely couldn’t risk that kind of punishment again, at least not for the 2 weeks I said that I’d be his.

Tears still rolling down my face I struggled too my feet again and forced myself to stand up straight despite my still throbbing neck pain and breathing irregularity. Placing my arms tight by me side I whimpered “Im….. I…I…Im really So…sorry Master, b….b….but this is all getting very uhm real…. As your weak little beta I’m begging you please let me out of all this… I…I….I can pay you!” I begged pathetically with terror in my voice and my eyes tightly closed in fear of his arm once again wrapping round my throat. However at that Johnny would simply take both my wrists and pull then behind my back where a pair of handcuffs were locked on removing the use of my hands, then opening my eyes i saw a most worrying sight as over my head was lowered a purple penis gag. “P…please master… please don’t do this…” I begged however johnny simply pressed the large black cock of the gag against my lips. “Look you’re not going anywhere so open your mouth Jade and make this all go faster!” Johnny sighed as I stupidly opened my mouth allowing him to plunge the gag into my mouth. While it pressed on my gag reflex Johnny would raise my newly attached long hair and clip the gag tightly in place before lowering my long hair back into place.

“There! Soon you’ll learn not to talk out of place but for your own benefit you’ll wear this until you do faggot!” Johnny grunted as he then grabbed by cuffed wrists and begun to push me out of the small under the stairs sissy faggot bedroom and out into the hall. Gagging on the huge dildo now held permanently in my mouth i began to look at my surroundings as I was pushed through the hall. I’d forgotten how beautiful, majestic and regal this mansion looked however i begun to panic as i turn my head back toward the direction i’m being pushed by Johnny. I try to wrestle my cuffed hands out of his grip but he’s to strong, opening the front door Johnny pushes me out despite begging and pleading through the dildo gag. As i was pushed i tripped thanks the the tight form fitting dress making it impossible to stumble and rebalance myself so i fell down the 2 front steps, landing on my stomach on his chipped driveway my fall was slightly cushioned by the fake breast padding Johnny forced me to stuff under the dress. Laying on my stomach pathetically for a second i Froze, like a pathetic coward given the choice of fight flight or freeze i froze in genuine fear of what johnny has planned next. However after a few seconds johnny picked me up, pulling me to my feet I moaned in discomfort as my eyes adjusted too the brightness of the outside. As we stood looking at the driveway I became distressed as I noticed my car was gone! My 2017 blue focus RS was gone!! In its place sat a tiny 2 seater Pink Smart Fortwo car with garish and stupid looking fake eyelashes around the headlights.

Turning too Johnny i began to panic and angrily wrestle at the cuffs behind my back as i tired to yell “wheres my car!” But thanks to the gag, all that could be heard was “mmmmms mh mmm!”. At that johnny would walk me over to the ugly, girly, pink, heap of garbage and pushed me until me shins met the front bumber, then with one forcefully push to the back of my head i was pinned to the bonnet and windscreen of the car if you could even call it a car. “Your car? Its right here faggot! Oh RS? Yeh it was pretty fun to drive but you won’t be needing something so powerful now Sissy. So i sold it for 32,000 and bought this far more appropriate car for you, its been fitted with a tracker and remote immobiliser as well as a remote locking feature so should you try to run away i can shut down the engine and lock you in it until i arrive to retrieve you. You also wont get the keys unless i decide you need to run an errand. All that only cost me four grand so the remaining 28,000 gets spent on your transformation and training! Honestly if it wasn’t such a bother to unzip and free you too much from this dress i’d fuck your ass right now on the bonnet of your new car just for fun!!” As johnny said as I panicked and began crying, shaking my head and trying to get free.

In that moment however i would suddenly feel a sharp pinch in my right butt cheek, looking over my shoulder I saw Johnny had pushed a syringe 💉 in through the dress and panties into the soft skin of my ass. I couldn’t make out the writing on the syringe but as johnny pulled it back out after emptying whatever was in it into my ass he said “this is just one of the steps in your transformation sissy, Hormone injections! The pills I’m making take daily plus these syringes 💉 are Hormone Replacement Therapy. It’s time you realised and accepted the place you’ve put yourself in is permanent.” As johnny spoke tears flooded my eyes, shame, helplessness and humiliation flooded me and to make matters worse all this humiliation was making my penis strain harder than ever in its cage. At that johnny pulled me back up by my now very real feeling hair extensions and looked me in the eye.

Overwhelmed by it all I went weak at the knees and no matter how hard i tried not to, I fainted into Johnnys arm. Passed out and unconscious I was slowly becoming aware of just how fucked up my position in life was now….

#sissy blackmail #sissy domination #sissy fagot #crossdressgirls #sissy story #male domination #permanent feminization #permanent sissy