#it’s okay I cry myself to sleep at night | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonlightazriel · 3 days

Text

Chapter 13: The past cannot be forgotten /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: Y/N finally opens up to Azriel about Ruvyn. They finallly go to Koschei's home.

Word Count: 1,6K

Warnings: Just the usual angst.

Notes: My dumb ass accidentally posted this before i even posted the first chapters ughhhh

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

Azriel sat in bed, watching her squirming and groaning, her eyebrows furrowed and sweat coating her forehead. He reached to wake her up when she jumped out of her slumber, sitting in bed with a panicked expression, hands grasping for his arm, eyes frantically scanning him for any injuries.

“They took you, I saw Ruvyn kill you.” She sobbed, tears streaming down her pretty face. He pulled her to his lap, allowing her to cry on the crook of his neck.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He rubbed her hair, noticing how this worked to calm her down faster. As she stopped her sobs and looked at him again with her red puffy eyes, he pulled her in for a kiss, gently cupping her cheeks and brushing her lips with his own. “Whenever you need to talk to me, I'm here for you.” He said after they parted the kiss.

“His name was Ruvyn.” She spoke, her voice hoarse from both crying and sleep. He watched her intensely. “Before our people became one, Ironteeths hunted Crochans down, to kill them for what their ancestors did to us. I met him in one of my huntings, he was different from the humans I met, he was charming, and something in me came back to life when I saw him for the first time.”

Her face dropped to an even sadder expression, like remembering those things were too painful, and they were, but she needed to let them go, she couldn’t keep allowing that Ruvyn’s ghost haunted her and sucked the life and joy out of her anymore.

“I fell in love with him and I kept coming back to him. He showed me things that I never thought I would have the chance of experiencing. He taught me how to dance, how to live, and how to love.” She rubbed her eyes. “The night I finally got the courage to be intimate with him was like a dream come true. I told him I loved him that night and he looked me in the eyes, like I truly meant something to him and told me he loved me too. When I woke up he had turned me in, ready to burn me at a stake. He told me so many awful things that I still carry with me to this day, he said I was going to die alone and no one would ever love a monster like me.”

The pain in her eyes was too much for Azriel to handle. He understood perfectly how hard it was hearing such harsh words directed at him, but it was totally different coming from someone she trusted with her heart.

“I was able to free myself, the people who snickered at me started to scream and run away, i was never a monster Az.” She promised. “But that day I turned myself into what Ruvyn believed I was, I became the monster he made me. I killed the man I loved with my bare hands, I ripped his heart out for what he did to mine. I’m not proud of this but I can't erase what I did.”

“And you had every reason to do what you did, I can't imagine a betrayal like this.” She looked at him with worried eyes.

“You don’t think I'm a monster?” Her lower lip started to quiver like she was going to cry again.

“I could never think that of you.” He reassured her, pulling her in for another kiss. “I love you.”

And despite not being able to tell him that she loved him too, she opened her heart to that feeling, something told her that this time would be different and she was willing to believe.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

After that morning, they got ready to talk to the rest of the house about their conclusions, finding the two males by the dining room having breakfast, Vassa was nowhere to be seen. Azriel and Y/N greeted them, sitting down to eat.

“Did you two sleep well?” Lucien asked, always the kind host.

“We did, thank you Lu.” Y/N said. “But I guess the news we have for you isn't that good.” She sipped on her coffee. “Koschei is a Valg king.”

Her and Azriel shared all the information they gathered last night, including the one about Nesta, who according to the letter Azriel got late in the night, was being kept hidden at the cabin much to her dismay. Y/N couldn’t imagine what they had to do to keep Nesta locked against her will, and she wanted to end this soon so her friend would be free again.

“So we’re basically fucked?” Jurian asked, biting a piece of toast with a smirk adorning his face.

“Precisely.” She motioned to Lucien. “Although our fire boy over there has a chance of killing him.”

“Me?” Lucien choked.

“Fire can kill a Valg, that’s how Aelin Galathynius killed Maeve, a Valg Queen.” She said it like it was obvious.

“And you want me to Aelin my way into killing Koschei?” Y/N laughed.

“Yeah, she burned Maeve from inside out.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” He protested.

“Then i suggest you find out very quickly cuz we need to kill him as soon as possible.” She shrugged. “But no pressure.”

“Yeah, no pressure.” Lucien mumbled underneath his breath, taking another sip of his hot coffee.

“So who’s ready to have a tour of Koschei’s lair?” Jurian asked, excitedly getting up and clapping his hands, the groans he received as an answer just made him smile wider.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

The cabin was made from dark wood, ageing poorly with time, the roof was covered in pine needles and the yard really needed a trim to look decent, what connected the land with the island that held the big cabin was a very old bridge, and a dark lake surrounded the area, like the Mother had forgotten about that place too.

“This smells so awful.” Azriel said, scrunching his nose in clear disgust, the smell was putrid, like death. Exactly like the Valg smelled.

“Did it always have this smell?” She asked the males behind her.

“Gets worse every day.” Lucien replied.

“Especially when he releases those things.” Jurian added, making her whip her head back to look at him.

“What things?” Jurian started to describe the monsters he saw coming out, a wide variety of horrors with long claws, sharp teeth and bloodthirst.

“We kill some, but others disappear. Maybe they get killed in the courts, we don't know what they want.” Lucien explained and she nodded.

“Fuck.” She cursed. “If he's indeed after Nesta’s power, this is his way to guarantee an army before he can open that damned gate.”

“How are you so sure he has a key?” Jurian inquired, eyebrows raised in suspicion.

“He got here somehow, he has the original key he had before he was bound to that lake. He has to.” It only made sense that he still had the key, if he was trying so hard to free himself.

“She has a point.” Lucien waved his hands and Jurian rolled his eyes, mouthing the words back to him in a mockery tone, prompting the male to crack a smile.

“Shhhh, someone is coming.” Azriel shut the conversation down and everyone turned to see.

It was like time had come to a stop, cold spread across her body, freezing her in place as she took the male in. Short golden-blonde hair, ivory skin, broad shoulders and a sculpted body showing through the thin tunic he wore. Beautiful, lethally beautiful like Erawan was. He took a look around, and shining against the sun, his gold eyes, just like Manon’s and just like his younger brother. The eyes of a king.

He stretched his muscles and turned his head towards the sun, letting it warm his skin. A lazy smile appeared on his face and he turned his head towards them, with his eyes closed and a very deep voice, he spoke.

“I don't like being watched.” He opened one of his eyes, looking directly into hers.

She motioned for the males to keep quiet and stay in their place, kicking Azriel’s hands away when he tried to grab her ankle. She got up, climbing the hill they were hiding and started to walk in silence, stopping over the edge of the bridge. The male turned to her with a curious gaze.

“You're not from here, you smell different.” He smiled sweetly at her.

“I changed my soap yesterday, thanks for noticing.” She snickered and he openly laughed.

“What a delight having someone so fun around.” He extended a hand to her, inviting her in, but she stayed rooted in place. “Aren't you here to see me?”

“Yes.”

“Then come here, darling.” Azriel cursed as his shadows informed him that she started to cross the bridge, towards Koschei’ open hand. “What can I do for you?” His voice resonated through the trees.

“I've heard you can take all the pain away.” She replied, lies spilling from her plump lips.

“You came to the right place, my sweet creature.” His hands wrapped around hers, and she almost flinched with how cold it was against her warm, sweaty and shaking hand.

He pulled her hand towards his lips, kissing it with his eyes still locked with hers. He smiled again, pulling her closer to him, towards the open door of the cabin, exactly like she wanted.

“Allow me to properly introduce myself.” He bowed his head a little. “Despite the people of this land calling me Koschei, my name is Mantyx.”

She almost froze with the name, swallowing past the lump in her throat and forcing her legs to walk inside the cabin. Azriel watched in horror as she disappeared inside, the door closing itself after them, locking her inside with him.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Taglist: @fieldofdaisiies @blackgirlmagicforever @a-frog-with-a-laptop @going-through-shit @asweetblueberry2

@roses-r-red54330 @mis-lil-red @sheblogs @hibye02 @impossibelle

@glitterypirateduck @zeroangelo13 @sekiro1310 @nelapeach14 @annamariereads16

@just-here-reading @celestialend @donttellthecats @scatteredstardustt @snoopyspace

@asterinblacksword @tsumudoll @georginat12 @skyjasper @anuttellaa

@willowpains @quinzzelx @amysangel @fightmedraco @puttyly

@lees-chaotic-brain @thisblogisaboutabook @esposadomd @stained-glass-eyes0708 @brujitafantomatico

@a-cup-of-nightshade @faridathefairy @bubybubsters

#azriel #shadowsinger #azriel x reader #moonlightazriel #sarahjmaas #azriel shadowsinger #night court #velaris #azriel x y/n #acotar #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #worlds apart fic

56 notes · View notes

starfallkaz · 7 months

Text

Sometimes I write (quite) eloquent paragraphs & essays analysing characters and metaphors and passages from books that moved me,, sometimes I brainrot word vomit headcanons and theories into my tumblr drafts until I feel physically sick missing imagined people - there is no in between

#oh to be a reader #it’s okay I cry myself to sleep at night #Babel philosophising but also the poppy war shit post #ah yes #the duality of man #the two genders #god take me to this fantasy world I beg #rf kuang #book rambles #books #just reader things #legendborn

17 notes · View notes

ballads-of-breeze · 8 months

Text

Oh my god. The end of the route with Venti. Kaeya slipping away because he’s not a follower of Barbatos and thinks that means he’s not a true son of Mond. Venti essentially telling Kaeya and Traveler point-blank that he’s tired of losing the people he cares about before the ending (I think he’s alluding to the nameless bard’s death before he got to see New Mondstadt + maybe the Ragnvindr ancestor leaving before the same). The poem and exchange at the end where Venti tries to tell Kaeya that it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t follow him and is from Khaenri’ah, he’ll bless him all the same (and what a thing to say to a descendant of the godless nation)!! I am also specifically losing my mind over this line

(Yeah he sure does have stars in his eyes, and the Abyss euphemism is NOT subtle. Kaeya admitted in Caribert that he doesn’t want to be connected to the Abyss, and the poem as a whole is Venti describing Kaeya’s struggle with who he’s meant to be and his fate)

And this one

The thought of not having to live forever in struggle over his identity under the shadow of the legacy his ancestors have left him, and being able to choose the dawn—I can’t help but think this is intentional; the dawn is widely used as a symbol of new beginnings, but it’s got to also be representative of his adoptive family (especially Diluc, whose name origin diluculum apparently means dawn) which is closely associated with dawn.

#I still have two endings left so fingers crossed the brothers get to talk #give us some lore. tell us about your childhood. did your dad ever bring you guys on vacation to sumeru after kaeya’s ill-planned adventure #also the whole safe harbor thing. yes it could just be venti’s respect for mortals but also he loves kaeya as much as he loves everyone else #in mond okay that is his boy.#do not boo me #anyway. good night if anyone needs me I’m going to be crying myself to sleep #liveblogging #mine #rambles #genshin spoilers #kaeya hangout spoilers #genshin #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #venti

171 notes · View notes

liesmultixxx · 2 months

Text

what’s wrong with me? why am i so fundamentally unlovable?

24 notes · View notes

saeshiraw · 8 months

Text

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

19 notes · View notes

pearlpool · 22 days

Text

hm.

#been feeling very irritable and negative lately to the point where ive been catching myself getting really frustrated with my dear friends #like i just saw something a friend said and i literally went 'oh my god who gives a fuck' out loud under my breath #and i feel incredibly guilty about it #choosing to blame academia but it literally makes me wanna cry. like i feel like a terrible person and friend #and before you ask. yes i ate yes i had a full nights sleep yes i left my room today yes im drinking water #and its still happening #idk i just cant stop complaining and feeling so DONE with everyone #i just. really thought i was getting better :/#oh well. i guess #ugh i just. UGH last night i talked so much shit about truly one of my closest friends. and its like okay they kinda deserved it #because what they did was shitty #but im literally perpetuating my own worst fear. which is being secretly disliked by those closest to me #:((( AGH.#diary

2 notes · View notes

seariii · 1 month

Text

ah.... thats why

#i started to feel bad like sad and shit and i first thought it was because of something with the bestie #but.... while yeah that probably has some to do i think the problem is that i gave more than i could afford regarding friendship finances..#tbf it was for my brother... and when i told him tomorrow i saw his face that he wanted it tonight so it was kinda necessary...#he kinda needed it and i thought i could do it.... but i was exhausted and that finished draining me...#and now that everything got quiet again.... sigh...#its okay.... i'll go to my room try to answer a bit more and chill and let myself fall- ah right....#i have to wake up early again tomorrow...#... and on tuesday i have.... and tomorrow night....#.... and i have to get that done this week too...#.... i kinda wanna cry now... when can i get a proper break...#*deep breath*#its okay.... its gonna be okay... lets try to finish the questions thing because its fun and then see if we do sometihng else or we sleep

2 notes · View notes

sigilmint · 2 months

Text

getting critically close to collapsing into tears about my (terminally I guess) ill cat. he'll barely eat, barely drink. he's meowing bc he's hungry and thirsty and yet we have three different water sources for him and I'm at the point where I'm smearing pureed chicken with his favorite treat on it on his mouth to try to get him to lick it up and he just doesn't want anything to do with it.

meanwhile, I'm doing better than ever at a job I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have, and every day there is a new incredible achievement. and I just feel like the higher the highs get there, the lower the lows are getting at home. and I don't know how to hold all this indefinitely without breaking the fuck down. like it's just a matter of time before I run out of runway and I'm freefalling off the cliff into depths unknown and I'm fucking scared

#tw pet illness #how many nights can i cry myself to sleep before I'm just absolutely losing it #i have to be strong for Stephanie bc this is way worse for her #i have to not cry bc I'll make myself sick and I can't afford to miss days at work #but i can't hold it back when it's past when i need to be asleep in order to get enough sleep before work in the morning #and then the next day I'm just #sleep deprived and hollow #and i go to work and work is so good #and i spend the whole time worrying about my cat #and pushing that down #i just want him to be okay #and i know he isn't gonna be okay #and it's fucking awful

4 notes · View notes

the-rogue-mockingjay · 9 months

Note

💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft

Hiya Middy! Long time no see!! I hope life has been kind to you 💜💜💜

lol we're thinking on the same wavelength today @coldshrugs 😂 :>

anyway. This was supposed to be a snippet. It...did not end up being a snippet omg, it really got away from me kdlfhgjkfdhgk. It's 3:40 in the morning and this is the first piece I've (more or less) finished in like 3 or 4 months. It's just under 1,300 words. Set a few weeks after the big Endwalker finale, so vague mentions of what happened there.

[prompt meme]

nascent hope & new beginnings

The uneven rhythm of O’ravi’s cane tapping on the cobblestone announces her presence before she emerges from the early morning fog that blankets Sharlayan, and Aymeric sets aside the report he was reading, its contents immediately forgotten.

She’s starting to look like herself again, a clarity in her eyes now that’s been absent since her return from Ultima Thule. The silver and teal shawl she’s wrapped around her shoulders clashes somewhat oddly with the dark red tunic dress she wears, which in turn contrasts with the royal blue ribbon that holds her hair in a loose ponytail. It’s a far cry from the well-coordinated outfits she wears for business and battle, but it suits her.

O’ravi smiles, a little lopsidedly, a little shyly, and waves. “Hey.”

“Good morning, Ravi.” He can’t help it—he runs to meet her, and offers his arm. “You’re up early.”

“The pain was too great to stay in bed. So I thought I might as well seek you out, enjoy the fresh air.” She moves to link her arm through his but pauses, a strange look on her face. Instead, she reaches up to grasp his collar and tugs.

Wordlessly, and with no small amount of confusion, he acquiesces to her wish and leans down.

And softly, sweetly, feather-lightly, she presses a kiss to his lips.

She withdraws before he realizes what happened, content. His heart lurches like a wounded animal within his chest, his breath suddenly shaky, and she winds her arm through his as if she didn’t just send him reeling.

He can’t bear to look at her, he can’t bear to look away. The kiss in Ala Mhigo, before she set out for Garlemald—when she’d kissed him like her survival depended on it only to flee for the airship. That was moons ago, and they’d not spoken of it yet. It was never the right time.

Now, this. Against all the odds she defeated Meteion and Zenos and made it home alive, and she could’ve gone to anyone—could’ve sought out anyone she wished—but she chose to be here. With him.

Halone have mercy.

They walk together down the garden path back to the pavilion. Her gait is unsteady and torpid, but between him and the cane she’s at no risk of falling. It frustrates and distresses her to be so robbed of strength, but he’s just glad to see her up and about and alive. Safe, and free.

There’s a chill on the breeze, carrying the promise of snow and the memory of home. The long walks they took through the Pillars on the eve of battles she didn’t believe she’d return from. He lays a hand over hers, letting her clammy hands soak up his warmth. Soon, they’d go home together, and never again would she need to leave fearing what fate awaited her in far-off lands. Not if he had anything to say about it.

They make their way to the bench where Aymeric left the report, and O’ravi attempts to fold her legs beneath her only to cringe and hiss when the motion aggravates some half-dozen different wounds.

“Careful,” Aymeric says, settling down beside her.

“It never gets easier.” She leans the handle of her cane into the corner of the pavilion wall, careful not to knock it over lest its clattering disrupt the morning quiet. Her tail swishes placidly as she shifts to close the distance between them, ensuring that her arm rests against his and her leg likewise touches his.

He raises his hand slightly in silent offering; without hesitation, she twines her fingers through his.

“Aymeric,” she says, so softly it’s almost a whisper, “what do you think happens now that the Final Days are over? No more Ascians, no more Garlean expansionism, no more Hydaelyn and Zodiark…”

“Years of rebuilding, to start with. No nation was spared the destruction the blasphemies and towers wrought—in every corner of the world, entire communities were wiped out, the population slaughtered or turned, to say nothing of the state of Garlemald. We must needs—”

O’ravi laughs. “No, no, no, I meant: duty and the wider world be damned, what do you want for your future?”

Ah.

He blinks stupidly, trying to cobble together an answer. “I’ve not put much thought into it, to tell you the truth.”

In truth, that is a flat-out lie. Of course he’s thought about it. But what he wants, what he longs for above all else—he cannot ask that of her. What if the request hurts her? And, perhaps it’s selfish, but what if her answer hurts him? Their friendship is too important to take the risk. No, he will hold his tongue.

“You don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” she says, and while her smile is tender there’s a knowing look in her eye that he can’t withstand. “Just think about it for a while.”

He never has been good at lying to her. His one consolation is that she’s just as bad at lying to him.

“What of you? The world is yours now, your life is your own again. What will you do with it?”

“Well.” She straightens her spine, ears twitching excitedly, and her smile takes on a mischievous edge. “After all I’ve done, I have more than earned the right to live as I see fit. I’ve earned the right to put duty and responsibility and reputation aside—and I know someone else who has earned the same.”

“We do owe much to your fellow Scions and Warriors of Light.”

“No, Aymeric, I mean you.” She takes his other hand in her own and squeezes. “The future is ours now. Ours to shape, ours to live. After all we’ve bled and suffered and sacrificed, we need to do something for ourselves. Just this much at least.” She leans towards him, and he has no choice but to meet her gaze. “You give and you give and you give of yourself until you have nothing left. The world takes and it never gives back, and before you know it you’ve lost yourself. I know this is happening to you because it happened to me, too. You have to draw a line in the sand somewhere and say, this is mine, this belongs to me, and the world can’t touch it. Aymeric, may I tell you what I want for the future?”

The light is glinting off the gold veins that mar her eyes. Her sincerity is painful to behold.

“Of course.”

“I want you to find yourself again. I want to find me again…and I want us to do it together. I want us to walk into the future together, hand in hand, side by side. Whatever paths we walk going forward, I want us to walk them together until the end of our days.”

“I…”

By the Fury, how is he supposed to answer that? How is he meant to—?

His heart is racing, and she’s watching him with such an innocence, a kindness that’s driving him mad.

Her wish answers the question he couldn’t voice. Yet it still leaves some things up in the air, namely: will they continue to keep a distance between them? Pretend Ala Mhigo never happened and remain friends and naught more?

A deeply foolish thought—he knows what the answer to that is, even if he won’t admit it—but nonetheless…

O’ravi raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “What say you, my brilliant blue knight?” His thoughts are spinning too rapidly to be trusted now, so despite the fact he’ll likely regret it later, he follows the impulse of his heart and kisses the scar that cuts across the bridge of her nose. Let that be answer enough.

#i slammed this out in one night so it is nowhere near as polished as what i usually post #if i allowed myself to edit it it would never get posted SO #no editing we die like dragoons using elusive jump during the titan boss fight #well i mean. i'll probably edit it tomorrow afternoon but. for now we're not playing that game GKJHDFLGKJ #don't judge me don't look at me it's 3am and this held me hostage even as my brain's ability to words sputtered out T^T #we are NOT main tagging this it is TOO SILLY #i might be cringe but i am freeeeeee baybee #i will probably rewrite the end later but for now it is good enough #i decided not to let the perfectionism win and prevent me from writing + posting this so if it's messy that would be why lmao #i will fix it later for now we are floating in the goofy pool and crying into our hands !!!#o'ravi soltholia #rogue writes #o'ravmeric #OKAY BYE IM GONNA SLEEP NOW BEFORE THE ANXIETY CAN CATCH ME 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️#endwalker spoilers #really really vaguely??? idk but just to be safe #HELPPPPP #is this even coherent? idk but i had fun writing it. that's the important part #and considering the migraines and pain and brain fog I've been in lately im amazed i was able to write at all #so. even if this sucks i created something so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED #thank u for the asks besties 💕 it really did help clear the brain fog a lil #also for the record this is my first time writing shippy stuff that isn't pre relationship or It's Complicated so. yay!!!!!#the only other shippy stuff ive written was shepard and kaidan angsting about shepard's death so this is new territory for me 😂

5 notes · View notes

ghostzzy · 1 year

Text

hypomania?? hypomania for izzy?? as a treat???

#there is a very high chance that i am simply having an Okay night #but. i am wide-eyed at 11pm listening to music thinking abt blorbos instead of crying myself to sleep #which is SUSPICIOUS. in a GOOD WAY. 🔪#i will take some hypomania!!!!! i need another fuckin jumpstart!!!! please!!!!#izzy.txt

9 notes · View notes

andichoseyou · 9 months

Text

i cant believe this is happening im so so so happy 1989 holds such a special place in my heart im so happy

#being so lonely and depressed and just... not okay when shake it off first came out and i truly felt a reason to be alive #i remember watching the mv over and over and over again #i would turn it on when i was crying just so i could feel some warmth #she always gave that to me #when ootw came out b4 the album and i immediately attached myself to it and listened to it all night as i went to sleep #and then the album came out and it was just. felt like the biggest hug in the world #JUST #UGH #1989 is so special to me so so special i will never be able to thank taylor enough for that album #i cant wait to hear her version of it 🥹#1989 I LOVE YOU #taylor swift #my thoughts

3 notes · View notes

marsvs-thesun · 10 months

Text

I am once again thinking about a creepypasta human!AU with time travel so I'm gonna put it out there:

Basically, the creepys' canon events(tm) haven't happened yet but theyre rapidly approaching (for example, Ben already has a bad home life, but he's still, yk, alive), except instead of being isolated by their circumstances they end up finding each other before that's meant to happen, and the probability of them turning to murder starts to decrease as a result of the sudden appearance of A Support System.

So things are sightly better except the universe/slender/whatever-force-needs-teenage-murderers seeks to right itself and that leads to the ACTUAL creepypastas (their future selves) showing up to try and convince them that murder is good, actually. And, since they're not great at debates, convincing here stands for the occasional kidnapping and/or murder. (And that's not counting all the creepys who would leave everything behind for another chance at life, revenge, or whatever else).

There's SO much I want to say about this that I cant articulate it's just,,,, betraying your younger self. Being face to face with your own inhumanity. Finding love in the most hateful places. I'm a little insane about this.

Anyways, I've had this thing in my head for YEARS now. Don't think it will ever be a thing. But it's fun to think about!

#heard tumblr was a good place to scream into the void #so here you go #creepypasta #creepypastas #creepypasta au #this au will always have a special place in my heart #because i started thinking about it when i was writing my first cp fic #which you may remember if you go WAY WAY back but i really hope you dont #anyways that fic was stupidly dark and hopeless because i was in a dark and hopeless place #and then i started this little au were nothing happened and everyone was happy #and i remember staying up late at night thinking about my silly characters being happy #and crying myself to sleep because i realized i was starting to heal #im still not okay but im better now #and i want my stories to end well

2 notes · View notes