#it’s pathetic otherwise

[gregmarriage]

internalised ableism sucks every dick in the world. what do you mean not only will random strangers be ableist to me (not even overtly), but my own brain will do the same thing????

#idk just lamenting #shit’s so fucking stupid bruh #i’m very much wedged between mourning the life i could be living and the fact that i probably wouldn’t be living such a life even if i #wasn’t disabled #it’s laughable really #like who do i think i am?? #congrats dad your lesbian daughter won’t embarrass you since she won’t date anyone anyways #she won’t get a man she won’t get a woman or anything in between #i will always find a way to ruin everything #genuinely curious why i waste time wanting this when it’s never gonna happen and i should just make peace with it #it’s pathetic otherwise #genuinely don’t feel attractive or worthwhile currently #like yeah yeah my worth isn’t just in my attractiveness #but i don’t feel worthy in other areas either #i neglect my friends #i cant function as a normal human being #my own body constantly betrays me #and even if it didn’t i wouldn’t have anything to offer still #it is just made worse in the situation i find myself in now #which isn’t gonna change #so yeah #i’m not much of a friend to the few i have and genuinely don’t get why they like me #i have been and will continue to be a shit romantic partner #i’m a shitty daughter #just all around shit basically #god whatever i’m being so fucking stupid #ya know what my problem is? #i don’t know what it’s like to not be unbearably lonely #and whatever reprieve i get i spoil #idk delete later

[heybiji]

#ocs #artists on tumblr #masks: a new generation #npcs #tony salvo #antonio salvo #ruth blum #ruth and tony #superheroes #she put his hands there otherwise he instinctively doesn't touch anybody in case his super strength accidentally destroys them #sigh........... #let's not talk about how pushing daisies put this “can not touch” archetype into my psyche for life #masks: overlook #masks: overlook city #my brainrot over the mentor npc is ridiculous but he ended up being my exact type of pathetic #checked this on my phone and they look so pale and washed out what is the truth

[tubbytarchia]

Ren was very dog today thank you Ren

#hc 10 spoilers #rendog #every day of drawing Ren is a struggle because I have to make the painful decision between mostly human Ren or mostly werewolfdog Ren #when he's being particularly cute or scary I imagine wolf. Otherwise he's just some pathetic guy #tubby art

[afewproblems]

Eddie downs the last of his beer and tosses the empty red cup into the kitchen sink, right between a couple who were clearly gearing up to claim one of the spare rooms upstairs. 

Eddie snickers and winks as the girl tells him to fuck off while her boyfriend flips him the bird, god he loves highschool parties, and this one is no exception.

It's Halloween and business is booming for Eddie Munson.

He imagines Dian Fossey felt similarly, wandering through the Congo studying the great apes' behavior patterns and social structure from within rather than observing from afar. 

So far Eddie's observations have paid off in spades and he's managed to sell out most of his stash by targeting the basketball team and their girlfriends. No one wants to get high all by themselves after all, it's almost too easy the way these sheep all flock together. 

Eddie leaves the kitchen behind him, but not before snagging a can of something cold from a nearby cooler of half melted ice. With a decent buzz going, what's one more? He's done working for the night after all. 

Eddie climbs the stairs, dodging drunk teens left and right as they make their way past him, shirts ruffled and hair messy. Eddie snorts, ignoring the wistful pull in his chest as a tall boy on the swim team pulls his girlfriend closer to press a chaste kiss to the top of her head before smoothing her curls away from her forehead. 

Unfortunately no one Eddie would be interested in would accept him brushing their hair like that without punching him in the face.

He shakes his head and continues forward, he's an observer, nothing more. 

Eddie passes a closed door on the second floor and pauses as a raised voice splits through the wood.

"It's bullshit, you're bullshit," the voice slurs out and Eddie feels a wide grin pull at the corner of his mouth. 

He takes a step closer, nearly pressing his ear to the flat of the door.

"Like we're in love?" Another voice says softly, a guy, "you don't love me?" 

A small part of Eddie knows he shouldn't be listening to this, he can hear the waiver in this guy's voice like his heart is slowly cracking in his chest. Shit, he almost feels bad for this guy. 

But the people that go to these stupid parties, the Hawkins elite, the gorillas in the mist, deserve their bullshit --to use this girls turn-of-phrase.

The only reason they didn't mess with Eddie was because he was these highschool shit-heads main source of weed. 

Its karma, plain and simple, Eddie reasons as he presses even closer now.

"It's. Bullshit". The girl hisses emphatically and for a second Eddie hears nothing.

It happens so quickly after that. 

The door swings inward, causing Eddie to stumble into a tall firm chest as the bathroom guy collides with him.

"What the fuck?" The guy says as he pushes Eddie away from himself and --no way.

"Harrington?"

Steve blinks once, his wide hazel eyes red rimmed and shiny in the dim light of the hallway, the tip of his nose is pink as he reaches up to pinch it roughly before swiping across his eyes as well.

Even though Eddie's fairly certain that he and Steve are the same height, he seems smaller like this, deflated, standing in the hallway while a party rages down below them both. 

A cheer rings out, startling Steve into action.

He steps widely around Eddie, enough that his shoulder connects with the wall in his haste to take the stairs down, two at a time, as though Hell is hot on his heels. 

And Eddie should leave it, go back to the party, see if there are any snacks left before calling it a night, but something pushes him to follow the path Steve took.

It's like he's possessed, the haunted look in those hazel eyes forcing him forward until he's outside on the lawn.

A few other teens are outside, including a couple making out on the porch, Eddie steps over them and jogs to the end of the driveway.

He spots Steve down the street sitting on a large rock at the end of another neighbor's lawn with his face in his hands.

He looks up as Eddie gets closer and curses softly.

"Seriously? It wasn't enough that you were listening, you're following me now?" His voice cracks on the last word as he wipes his eyes again, he can't quite hide the way the moonlight catches the tear tracks running down his cheek and neck though.  

"Oh come on Harrington," Eddie says, walking up to Steve. He sits on one of the other rocks and takes a crumpled pack of smokes out of his vest pocket, "it's no fun if you're sad".

"What is?" Steve mumbles after a beat, wiping his eyes again as he stares at the ground. 

"Making fun of you," Eddie shrugs as he takes a cigarette and puts it between his lips, he smiles at the startled bark of laughter from Steve.

"You're a prick," he huffs softly, the barest of smiles slowly blooming across his face.

Eddie can count the constellation of freckles and moles across his face, giving the blanket of stars above them a run for their money. His hand twitches at the thought of touching the ones on Steve's throat.

Eddie coughs once, mentally tallying the number of drinks he must have had for those kinds of  thoughts and shifts on the rock to adjust his pants. 

He holds out the pack to Steve who looks at the nearly empty sleeve before his eyes shift to the house behind Eddie. 

"Nance hated cigarettes," Steve murmurs as the corner of his mouth twitches into a terrible frown. It's gone in an instant as Steve blinks once and reaches out for the pack.

"I got something stronger if you want?" Eddie offers, he shrugs when Steve looks up at him with suspicious eyes. 

"Come on Harrington, I'm not gonna keep kicking you when you're down, you need a pick-me-up and then I can get back into it," Eddie stands up and without thinking, holds out a hand towards Steve, "what do you say?"

Steve stares up at him, his eyes flick once to the outstretched hand before he snorts dryly and slowly takes his hand. 

It's warm in Eddie's own. The fingers squeeze gently as Steve uses it to hoist himself up until he's once again eye level with Eddie. 

From this close Eddie can see the way his eyelashes have clumped together with leftover tears and the flecks of gold in his hazel eyes

Oh…this, this was a bad idea. Eddie swallows roughly as Steve finally nods.

"Lead the way Munson," Steve says with the barest of smirks as he wipes his face one last time, "and if you tell anyone about this, I'll slash your tires".

Eddie cackles at that, "there he is!"

He claps Steve on the back as he leads them towards where he parked his van down the road, "our chariot awaits!"

Eddie ignores the small voice that whispers in his ear, the one that sounds remarkably like his uncle, as it asks him just what the hell he thinks he's doing with Harrington of all people? 

It'll be fine, he tells himself.

Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

Part Two

#stranger things #stranger things season 2 au #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve and nancy breakup #what would have happended if eddie had been there #let me know if yall want a part two #eddie took one look at this pathetic sad man and said #I will love him and squeeze him #steve cried when nancy called him bullshit you cant tell me otherwise #afewproblems writes #steve x eddie #steddie au #getting back into writing after not being able to for weeks #cw drinking #cw smoking #i will never get tired of the halloween party au

[midnightfox450]

Jaina bronzebeard is really good because murph literally just took his favorite archetypes (dwarf, stoic, knight, wrestler) and said "what if that but woman" and accidentally created a butch lesbian so incredible he just had to find a way to integrate her fucking ladies into the penultimate episode

#he said the people HAVE to know shes a bit of a pathetic faildyke bottom #we cant wrap this campaign up otherwise #and then she came back as a gilf with an estranged wife god bless #jaina bronzebeard #not another d&d podcast #naddpod #bahumia #ba2umia #ba2mia #not really but im tagging in case of spoilers

[orayart]

I feel like Aziraphale is living his best life ever since he's free from heaven and his formal status, while Crowley is the one living an existential crisis (already confirmed), which really subvert the expectations after s1. I also feel like Crowley is gonna hide it from Aziraphale, maybe getting jealous of how well is doing and that's what they'll need to work out together. He's gonna admit that he's not fine at all and it's going to be sooo angtsy

#i want pathetic crowley crying in Aziraphale arms dear god #but i want everything to end well because I can't handle it otherwise #ineffable husbands #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable partners #good omens season 2

[scuttle-buttle]

at the end of the day Crosby is babygirl and Rosie is Daddy

#you cant convince me otherwise #yeah they can switch it up if they want #but croz is pathetic bb and i love him #but rosie is that natural born leader #harry crosby #robert rosie rosenthal #masters of the air #mota #anthony boyle #nate mann #scuttle-buttle

[chronicowboy]

after the conversation about eddie sucking at dating in the truck i'm convinced that when buck finally has his feelings realisation he discovers a new kink for eddie's complete lack of game. it only gets worse when they're officially dating. the first time eddie stammers his way through asking buck on a date, buck is instantly hard. eddie tries to do the yawn move and tweaks his shoulder and buck is in his lap before he can blink. he attempts a striptease and trips over his jeans and buck is on him like a puma in heat. it's an endless feedback loop where as buck gets hornier eddie gets more flustered which only makes buck even hornier.

#sami rambles #i have written smut but im not a Smut Writer you know or otherwise id write this fic bc its sooo yummy to me #especially after writing pathetic beneddie in the pnr au #911 show #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buck x eddie #buddie headcanon #911 headcanons

[firefly--bright]

yk what??? jean would NOT be one of those smooth guys that has a lot of pickup lines memorized. he would, however, stutter through a compliment and end up with a lame, "your face is shiny" when what he really meant to say is that your smile makes him want to smile too. like hes such a LOSER but it's ok because u love him

#my fave fics so far have been thw ones where jean is a pathetic mess and you love him anyway #yk like he gets NO bitches even though hes really pretty because he just doesnt talk. because if he does he fucks it up #HOWEVER i dont mind people that characteruze him otherwise like i enjoy most jean character headcanons :) #i love how differently people percieve his character (most times.) #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #fireflys rambles #jean kirschtein

[fumiko-matsubara]

A warm-up portrait of Princess Lea 💜✨

When the no-nonsense perfect honour student Gakushuu Asano went on a whole side quest to prove to you that he is NOT, in fact, a boring person like you told him he was, and that he can certainly act like a normal middle schooler... by cracking jokes and making puns 😭

#an unpopular opinion of mine is that i actually enjoy Shuu and Lea's dynamic in korotan c lol #in fact korotan c was what severely convinced me that Shuu is a bastard... that is actually quite pathetic lmao #like bro wdym you're interested in her because she said you're boring 😭😭 #and wdym you spent the entire rescue mission just thinking of a pun she could laugh at??? 😭 #just straight up pathetic lmao #i love this bastard #they actually have the makings of a potential romcom and y'all cannot convince me otherwise #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assclass #korotan #korotan c #princess lea #princess lea (assclass) #my art #art #digital art #my illustration #warm up portrait

[heyitsmemel]

I'm just... losing my mind over the thought of someone coming from a wealthy or refined background who has had perfect etiquette and decorum drilled into them that they can't drop it even if they tried. Someone who looks and acts so incredibly proper and put together, the type of person who always says sorry or excuse me after coughing or sneezing.... coming undone with a terrible cold or flu. They feel so horribly sick they don't even have the energy to excuse themselves. Their LACK of their otherwise perfect manners is a sign to their friends or partner that something is seriously wrong with them and that they are down BAD.

#snzblr #snzfucker #snz blog #illness kink #snz thoughts #snzario #this is literally my OC in a nutshell #i love torturing this type of character #like being so ill that you lose your otherwise perfectly intact manners #really does something to me #like oh? you feel so bad you can't even excuse yourself? Pathetic.

[blood-orange-juice]

I promised a "Furina is Jesus" post. It's kind of a shitpost but also it's not.

The theatre of the courtroom

I'll first have to note that law is a peculiar thing. It is created through practicing it.

It's not just the written rules, it's how we apply them, and who gets to write and rewrite them, and there's no solid foundation underneath.

It's supposed to be treated as immutable until it's suddenly not. Until an insurgence turns into a revolution or the divine right of kings becomes a symbolic relic of the past. In the mildest scenario a bunch of old farts just gather and vote for new rules. Sometimes the very same rules that give those old farts the right to decide rules.

A law remains a law as long as enough people agree to believe and enforce it. How much is "enough" is also debatable (often depends on the size of your army).

It is very much like theatre. Humans like it when the world is molded into coherent stories so they happily participate.

Furina making a show out of trials is not a perversion of law, it shows she understands its very nature.

Transgression and transcendence

Now back to Christianity. The essense of Christianity is transgression. No, seriously.

It's as punk as a religion can get. A god hanging out with publicans and harlots? Killing a god in the most humiliating way possible and being forgiven for it? Symbolically eating a god?

It's insane.

Such practices are usually reserved for small communities of a very special sort (*ahem* left-hand path tantrics*ahem*). It's the only religion I know that gleefully and unashamedly incorporates such things into rituals meant for the lay public.

(this is probably a good time to mention that I'm not Christian and it's a look of an outsider fascinated with philosophy of religion in general)

It's actually one of the real reasons a lot of pagans rejected Christianity so fiercely: it's spectacularly nonchalant in dealing with things that would be considered "unclean" by most archaic cultures.

Now this is important.

As post-structuralist theories state, any attempt to establish a power structure, to set rules or to define self will also produce things that would seem unclean. Impure. Things that should be cast off. It's in the nature of our psyche. The concept of uncleanliness is one of the core mechanisms that allow our mind to function.

(I'll redirect you to Julia Kristeva and the concept she names abjection if you want to dive into it.

I also want to note that abjection and horror go side by side and it makes a lot of sense that Fontaine is also the Lovecraftian expansion)

And what did Christianity do? It subtly removed the importance of "cleanliness". The gravity of it. It established as the norm that norms can be redefined and transcended. That the outcasts and the sinners are not to be forgotten.

It fucking changed the rules of how human psyche and society function. Added an extra possible move.

A sin can be forgiven. A criminal executed in the most ignominious way can turn out to be a god. You never truly know. And also anything can be made clean. Go wash it kitten.

(yay)

(and yes, I know a lot of modern Christians practice the opposite of what I describe. I'm not a fan of these folks too. doesn't matter. the possibility is there. it's glorious. also horrifying and a bit disgusting)

That dude from two thousand years ago

What about him.

I often see people calling a "Jesus figure" anyone who is sacrificed to save others. Or anyone who is reborn. The thing is, this is not how it works.

A god dying and being reborn is the oldest myth on this planet. Last time I checked it was connected to the sun worship, day/night cycle and winter solstice rituals (although it could have changed and also I didn't check very thoroughly). In any way, it predates Christianity by millennia.

Sacrificing all kinds of things and beings to get something in return or to offer gods something else in your stead is also pretty old and very much not Christian.

The unique beauty of that story is that a supreme being, ultimately more worthy than any human, wilfully chose to sacrifice himself for lowly mortals. Actually, allowed them to betray and kill him. And then forgave them.

Do you see how it ties to the previous section? It defied the previoisly established world order (where gods were incomparably more important than humans). It created a paradox. It broke the rules, or rather it destroyed the rules.

Theological debates aside, on a symbolic level it pretty much destroyed the old concept of sin and the idea of a fundamental difference between a god and a human. Everything a paradox touches stops being fully real and needs to be redefined (ceci n'est pas une pipe).

'Sin' doesn't mean the same thing anymore, and 'god' doesn't mean the same thing anymore, even 'death' means a different thing now. The world just starts to function differently after a story like that happens or is told.

(since it only needs to mess up the symbolic order it doesn't even need to happen, only to be told and believed)

And there we have it. A Jesus figure should establish new rules. Preferably better ones. It's someone who fundamentally changes the world with their sacrifice.

That's also where we get back to "law is established by practice". That was the process of establishing a new law.

(this is also why I dislike the idea of Childe as a Jesus figure. he is not a supreme being, he's not the type to sacrifice himself for people he perceives as lower than him, and he is not integrated into society enough for his death to establish new rules. he can still die and be reborn in a new quality, he can even change the world in some way but that would be a different type of story)

Our precious girlfailure

So. Furina.

Fontaine's prophecy speaks of all Fontainians being born with some kind of 'sin'. And the way Neuvilette is talking to the pool of primordial water in 4.1 implies that its ability to dissolve Fontainians is not some kind of natural law but an intentional wrathful act.

And Varunada Lazurite (we know that ascension materials contain the final lines of the archon quest) says this:

"My ideals have no stains. I must correct you. People here bear no sins in the eyes of the gods... Only laws and the Tribunal can judge someone. They can judge even me. So praise my magnificence and purity."

I assume the solution will not be simply killing the eldritch whale or "cleansing" the sin or locking the sea away.

I think Furina will in some way redefine what is considered a sin, or how it should be judged, or who gets to administer judgement. She will create new rules for the world. Probably by dying in some way (temporarily or symbolically) to create a paradox.

(maybe we'll also get to learn that death in Teyvat is not true death)

As I said at the beginning, she understands the law and the very nature of law very well, probably better than Neuvilette. Who else would be better suited for this task.

And no one will notice the beauty and insanity of her gesture, like no one really noticed with that guy two thousand years ago. They'll just think things got fixed because they sacrificed Someone Important.

But that's all right. She'll forgive them.

#focalors #furina #fontaine #maybe this is not what will happen but then you get to enjoy this theory until 4.2 comes out #I do not accept the authority of this court to judge me #and yes I include post-structuralist theories in my shitposts #you can't stop me #can't stop won't stop #but honestly #this is why I strongly dislike jesus figures in media #if an author wants to do it they should at least try to match the scale of the original story #otherwise it's just cheap and pathetic #childe #tartaglia #(since he's mentioned here too)

[the-black-bulls]

Okay, so this is tied to a certain troll in this post (which you all should read if you haven't already). I wanted to make my own post however, because I wanted the black clover tumblr community to see and read this:

[dailyasnoel] is NOT an Astelle shipper.

This is very important because what they are is the opposite. I can't speak of their real intentions, but I have seen them in twitter before they acted like Astelle shippers - back then they jumped from many ships like Asta/Mimosa to Asta/Lily to Asta/Harem-Without-Noelle all with the mindest to insult Noelle and stalk/bully/insult fans who ship her with Asta. They did it with fanartists, fanfiction writers, and even other fan creators. They had their many accounts bombed out of twitter so many times they started blocking people so their recent account didn't get reported.

And they have been at it for four years!

[dailyasnoel] is NOT an Astelle shipper; they're acting as such to set up people against the ship. It's just obvious: they target astelle fans first, steal and edit arts from astelle artists, leave hate comments under astelle stories, then go for other ships and make it a point to repeat the astelle's name over and over again while leaving all these hurtful dm's and replies.

You know, typical troll behaviour.

So please, do NOT associate one troll (a homophobic, an art theft, an attention whore) to a ship, cuz the Atelle fandom do NOT claim them, hasn't been for FOUR YEARS, thank you very much.

And please, when you think of Astelle, think of the ARTISTS, the WRITERS, the ACTUAL FANS who supports this ship genuinely without hating other ships.

Here's a friendly reminder to block and report [dailyasnoel] if you support Astelle 👍🏻

#black clover #asta black clover #noelle silva #I'm so sorry astelle fans #I'm sorry you've to be associated with this mf #I think all ships are fun and sexy actually astelle or otherwise #just make sure to be mindful of your space and enjoy yourself #honestly this loser isn't even a hot shit they're just pathetic #too coward to reveal themselves (bcuz they know they'd be bombed with reports) and too obssesed to move on #block report get them outta here

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i swear i have the body of a 50 yr old. i did something mildly active for less than an hour today and my back Aches. who authorized this

#my back: oughhhh im so weak you need to lay down and be still for ten hours #honey i do not have the patience nor the time for that #i am chugging this soup and then im Really Fuckin Crunching The Packing & Cleaning #my mother gets here at like 2 am and i want to get shit done before she arrives #so that i can be told i did a good job for once in my damn life #sorry that was pathetic! #i actually am just a spiteful creature that wants to prove that Hey. maybe i can be relied upon this one time #bet she expects to get here to see an absolute mess w/ not nearly enough packed #JOKES ON YOU FUCKER IM DOIN IT ALL ON MY OWN #i got shit done Without you. ha! #also i want to go whale watching tomorrow #i need to be on the water... i need it.... big aminal please... #rambles from the bog #i feel so. Independent. and tired #took the cats to the vet all on my own. got them a prescription. rode in two ubers and made casual conversation both times #completely fumbled a brief interaction with a really cute girl who was definitely outta my league #me: wants to talk to cute girl. if she offers to get the door for you say Yes #brain: look at the floor. ignore her. say 'no ive got it' when she offers to get the door for you #sobbing and wailing. totally won otherwise lmao #my cats were so good!!! they were so sweet and they Listened! #they stayed on the weighing plate & let their claws be clipped #they were so friendly and nice and WELL BEHAVED WHAT WAS THAT #when i try to clip their claws i get squirmy mc wormie and little miss war crimes #i walk away with new scars and nothin to show for it #but noooo. vets do it and not a peep. not a single wriggle. no hisses or meows. just hangin out #man. at least my cats are comfy enough with me to be up front w their desires #fuckin fakers... beautiful sweet well behaved fakers.... #the vets absolutely loved them btw. all three people that were in the room loved how sweet my little critters were <3 #i am Proud tbh

[clegfly]

Stupid yet obligatory sunny and basil wojak doodle

#omori #omori sunny #omori basil #i absolutely love drawing basil and sunny like the pathetic twiggy losers they are #like basil definitely has braces nobody can tell me otherwise

[ballpit-bakery]

Thomas Flyswatter is forklift certified bensilly told me himself

#he is OSHA compliant no one will tell me otherwise even with his backstory #just imagining him with Bugbo in his lair just saying “you're too late Bugbo I AM NOW FORKLIFT CERTIFIED” like a doRK #Also he is not hot he's fucking pathetic and he's not sexy I'm sorry Tumblr #bugbo #thomas flyswatter #bugbo Thomas Flyswatter #🍰bakerytakes