#it's the sense of unapologetic presentness in the setting

[miamicommune]

i love love LOVE when magical realism refuses 2 attempt to justify itself.

like there is a monster living in the bayou that the fishermen offer fish to. there are wars happening in albequerque. there is a grey coronal mist at the edge of our reality speckled with mold that marks the end of mathematics, rationality, geography, to enter into it is to be deconstructed. a bird that is a frequency soars just overhead and you strain to hear it. a being that is a biological internet croaks words through your radio, via. cyprus roots and songbird calls.

it's 2017 and your family's robot has a constellation behind its faceplate. it's '51 in the current century and the occidental powers have finally photographed our shattered once-planet from space. you enter a building and leave through the same door in the new city, struggling not to see the old one, or its occupants.

#it's the sense of unapologetic presentness in the setting #nothing has to be explained. nothing should be. the world is as it is. of course it makes no sense. does yours? #i absolutely adore it

[icannot3]

"Holidaze"

(Peter Maximoff x Reader)

Word count:4.3k

Warnings: Smut with a LOT of plot below. Mutual pining. Female reader. Oral (f receiving), riding. So much sap it makes your teeth rot because I'm an unapologetically corny mf.

.......

The snow gently falls to the ground with a sense of elegance you find yourself encaptured with. Today has made for the perfect white Christmas as a hefty coating of fluffy snowfall stretches for as far as you can see. Your window is rather small, perfect for the modestly sized room you have in the X-mansion. The festivities around this time of year always excite you. Lights of every color illuminate your room in contrast with the dark night air from outside. Unfortunately, the weather hindered you from visiting any family, as they too were trapped in the security of their own homes. Nevertheless, your day was still rather enjoyable.

A knock at your door pulls you out of your relaxed state. It's already rather late, and the day is nearly over. Visitors at this trifling hour are typically frowned upon by Charles. Although you're a teacher, he always claims that it sets a "bad example" for the students. Luckily for your visitor, rules are only flexible guidelines in your eyes. You open the door and to your delight it's Peter.

His hands are behind his back, and he grins mischievously. Peter's balance switches as he moves back and forth on his heel, unable to contain his insurmountable joy. You already have a suspicion for what he's about to do. Perhaps the reason is because of the noticeable glittery bag he has in his hands that he is blatantly failing at hiding. You laugh at his antics, allowing him to come inside.

"Thanks, babe." Peter takes no time in allowing himself to get comfortable. After handing you your gift, he lazily flops down into your loveseat, right next to the tree. He props his feet up in a flash and stretches out comfortably.

This was nothing out of the normal for the two of you. Peter would often drop by just to keep you company. He himself bought the very couch he sits on just for that reason. Or at least you'd like to assume he bought it with his own hard-earned money. Chances are that he snatched it from a display window. Not that you felt bad for the greedy corporation he likely took it from. Peter would never steal from a small business, which truly was all you believed mattered. Peter grabs a sucker from his pocket, one of the ones you stuffed his stocking with earlier in the day. "I told ya' I got you a present, I just left it in my room."

You raise an eyebrow at him, grinning. "You're so full of it, I bet whatever is in this bag you got today." You begin to take out the red paper at the top, taking a seat on your bed. "But thank you regardless. This is sweet." There's a few filler candies, all notably your favorites that he's observed through the past couple of years you've known him. Your final gift is at the bottom, wrapped sloppily in perfect Peter fashion. There's multiple layers of paper wound around the small box, one of his trademarks he does every year to mess with you. You've counted five so far before there's a layer made entirely of ducktape. With that, you dramatically sigh and glare at him from your seat.

Peter cackles at your aggravation, offering absolutely no assistance. It doesn't help that your nails are short and give you no leverage in peeling the material away. After lots of triumph, the final layer is torn away at your desperate hands. A black jewelry box is revealed. Peter raises from his spot, standing in front of you. "I promise it's worth it."

He bites into his sucker impatiently, which makes a loud crunching noise that makes you cringe. Then, he places the stick back in his pocket. His eyes are locked on you, awaiting your reaction. The anticipation had nearly killed you already. Your thumb quickly pops off the top of the box to reveal whatever is inside.

It's a beautiful necklace, one that suits your style perfectly. It has sparkling diamond chippings shaped in the form of an infinity symbol. You gasp in awe at how thoughtful of a gift this is, especially from Peter. In the past, he'd never gotten you anything so sentimental. Granted, his gifts are always delightful, but this one in particular leaves you dumbfounded. The DVDs you'd gifted him earlier that day suddenly felt underwhelming in comparison.

"You like it?" Peter inquires. "It's because we're gonna be friends forever. Try putting it on." He gestures at the piece. For only a moment, you wonder if this is truly an act of simply friendship. A part of you hopes there's something more. But Peter remains nonchalant, acting as if this gift is casual. Shoving your feelings inside, you take the necklace out of the box and fidget with the hook.

Peter gently takes it from your hands. "Don't want ya' dropping it, aye? Am I the greatest gift finder or what?" He instructs you to turn around. You can hardly find yourself the will to deny him. His fingers tease the sensitive back of your neck as he fiddles with the chain. It sends a shiver down your spine. Your silence seems to worry your friend. Once Peter attaches the necklace together, he taps your shoulder. "You alright, bud?"

You swallow, turning around quickly to face him. "Oh! Yeah, totally. This was just so thoughtful of you, Peter. Seriously. How did you even come up with this?" You hope he doesn't notice the shakiness in your tone. Suddenly, rather riled up, you find it hard to sit still and speak to him.

He offers a grin you find assuring, his big brown eyes looking into yours. "Ah well, you know. I happened to be passing by this suuuper large jewelry place. I'm talking three stories alone were dedicated to just bracelets. And I thought, 'I know someone who wears this stuff all of the time!' So I walked in, saw it, and thought it was totally you!" Peter expressively talks with his hands, insisting on gesturing how large this place was by stretching his arms out as far as possible. His hand bumps your shoulder, leaving you laughing at his dramatics.

He stands up from your bed, which makes you feel rather upset at the now lack of closeness. "Anyways, it is getting kinda late. I guess I'll let ya' sleep. I heard from Raven that Hank is gonna be putting us to work during training tomorrow since we didn't do anything today." He slides by the door. You groan with frustration. No part of you doubts that statement. Peter nods his head in agreement, his eyebrows raising. "Oh, yeah, one final thing!"

You look at him, giving all of your attention. He turns the door knob getting ready to exit. "I figured, since neither of us really has anyone to be with for the New Years Party, that it might be cool if we kiss at midnight? You know, just cause' were pals, and it would be weird kissing anyone else. I mean, Jean has Scott, Raven and Hank will obviously go for one another like last year. And I trust that you don't wanna kiss Charles anytime soon. So it would probably be best for you and me to do it, that is if you're down?"

This leaves you stunned to silence, face red hot from the proposition. Your mouth is wide open, and you try to speak, but only a few incoherent noises come out. Peter throws his head back, laughing. "Don't stress, bud. I'll leave you to think about it. Later!" Without another moment to spare, he zips away.

Sleep doesn't come easily that night. Nor does it for the next six days at the thought of Peter suggesting kissing you.

New Years Day comes all too soon. The topic had not resurfaced since Christmas night. You'd thought about it daily. The topic had made you an absolute wreck, and Peter seemed truly unbothered. Everything had to be perfect. You spent nearly two hours preparing. From doing your hair to ensuring your lipstick went on just right. You chose a flattering black dress that did marvels for your curves.

It only made sense that at the beginning of the party, you'd taken a few shots of liquid courage to prepare you for what was to come. There isn't enough in your system to leave you incompetent, just to make your doubts feel a little lighter. Everyone gives you a kind word when you enter the room. Ororo is the first to shoot you a wink and compliment your outfit. You curiously scan the room, looking for your best friend that you did all of this for. Unable to spot him, you waltz over to the punch bowl. Whoever made it put edible glitter in the mix, which you found rather charming. There was also an array of different finger sandwiches, a cheese plate, fruits, and other mouth-watering treats you couldn't deny yourself from. Grabbing the largest plate available, you pick your fair share of what is there to offer. Loading the last small cookie onto your plate at the end of the line, you turn around only to jump at the sight of Peter right in front of you.

He catches your tray that slips out of your grasp for you expectantly. "Woah there, wouldn't wanna lose all of the snacks I prepared." He hands you back your plate graciously. "I'm glad someone wants them." Peter's eyes check out what's on your plate, scanning the items before taking a sandwich off it. You frown in disapproval as he takes a bite. "Hey! Get your own." You jokingly scold him. His hand cups his ear as he leans forward, acting as if he can not hear you. The sandwich is gone in three bites at his mercy. He guides you away from the snack station, pulling you to the side.

"Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about the other night. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable at all. I'm sorry if what I said made you feel kinda creeped out. I promise that by me asking that I didn't wanna -" Quickly you object the rest of his sentence, shaking your head no at his apology. To silence him, you take a cookie off your plate and shove it into his mouth. His eyes grow wide when you do, but he takes bite and allows you to speak.

"No! I agree. You were right. It only makes sense that we kiss. No hard feelings at all!" You stammer with your words, the composure from earlier slipping away as you begin to already sober up.

Peter sighs with relief, putting his hand to his chest. "Good, I was getting a little worried. I guess we should get ready then. The countdown is about to start." He throws away the remaining scraps of your treats and leads you to the TV screen broadcasting the ball drop.

There's five minutes on the clock still, which gives you only a few moments to prepare. When Peter looks away, you check to make sure your breath smells fine. You hope he doesn't take too much notice of it. Adjusting your hair, you make sure all knots are untangled. There's a lingering thought that wonders what he'll do while he kisses you. Will he run his hand through your hair? Or will he pull you in by the waist? Your nerves begin to heighten when you remember how long it's been since you kissed someone last. What if you'd forgotten how to do it right, and it just makes the entire experience awkward? Peter is encaptured by the screen in front of him and takes no notice of your frenzied panic. There's thirty seconds on the clock now. You can hear your heart beating in your chest when everyone around you begins to count down.

15...

Surely there's no way he'd judge you? He's your best friend. If the kiss goes badly, the two of you could just make a huge joke out of it, and it won't be an issue.

10...

Peter finally turns to face you, grinning. Your doubts still ramble on. What if it is a big deal and he actually likes you, and every chance of the two of you getting together is ruined by this one single moment?

5...

Peter pulls a festive paper hat with polkadots and streamers on it out of his pocket and places it on top of your head. There's a soft look in his eyes as he adjusts the string comfortably underneath your chin. Finally, your final doubts flow into the idea that this kiss could make your relationship more than just a friendship. You question everything leading up to this moment and think about the fact that there is a chance that Peter may truly love you in the same way.

The ball finally reaches the ground, and everyone cheers around you. There's no thinking allowed now, only action. Peter cheers with the others, blowing into his party horn before finally leaning in.

He places his hand underneath your chin delicately in order to tilt your face up to his. His free arm pulls you in closely. Like the fireworks being set off right outside, his lips ignite you with overwhelming emotions. He's soft with his kiss, sucking your lip with a sense tenderness you could only dream of receiving. You return it to the best of your ability, melting your lips with his in harmony. His nose brushes against your own as he pulls away, leaving you breathless.

It ends all too soon. You desperately crave for more and wish more than anything that he would pull you back into his arms and kiss you again. But instead of voicing this, you cheer giddily. Grabbing his obnoxiously loud party horn, you blow into it as well.

You look around at everyone else in the room who seemingly are also enjoying the party. This is because you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, or else you'll become a mess. Peter was right on the money, predicting all of the couples that would be kissing at midnight. Hank and Raven are secluded in the corner, sharing a glass of wine. Scott and Jane laugh together by the fire before he pulls her in again. Erik and Charles sit together as if nothing had happened and continue their chess match like normal. It's a wonderful sight to see that fills you with joy.

That is, until there's a sudden blur of colors as you can feel yourself fly in the air. You're brought back to your room, coming to an abrupt stop. Peter clutches your shoulders with his hands, looking your face over a dozen times. Your brow raises in confusion. "Peter, why did you take me here? Are you alright?" He only shakes his head, mumbling something under his breath you can't make out. "What? I can't hear you."

He meets your eyes, trailing his hand down your back. "I can't - I mean, I just." He inhales sharply. "Please just stop me if you don't want this." Before you can even respond, his lips meet yours once again. They're just as soft as before, transcending you to a greater state of mind. Each one of his kisses pulls you in more. It's only when you need to breathe that he pauses for a second. He pants, leaving you equally as spent.

You trail your hand up and push his silver locs to the side in order to get a better view of his face. "I didn't actually care about having someone to kiss tonight. I just wanted an excuse for it to be you." Peter gently pecks your lips. "I didn't just come across a jewelry store and randomly think about getting you something there, I thought about it months in advance." He traces his finger across your lips. "I'm really really sorry if you think all of this is too much. I know I've been really pushy with this, but you just kissed me back. I feel like if you didn't sorta kinda feel the same way, you wouldn't do that. I'm not trying to force you into anything you don't want, and if this is not it, then your words the way and I will skedaddle."

Peter points his thumb in a backward motion, clicking his tongue. "But if you also want this, and there is some formidable God out there that has granted me the honor of having someone like you like me, I promise I'll make sure you don't regret it for a single second." He presses his hands to his sides as if he's scared of breaking you with his touch.

You can't find the words to describe how you feel. It's far too overwhelming to try. Instead, you crash your lips into his, never wanting to break away again. Peter wastes no time in grabbing you by the hips. You wrap your arms fully around his neck, allowing him to consume you for all you're worth. You lead him back to your bed as his kisses trail down your neck. The sensation of his hand coming up your thigh is so delightful that it makes you want to scream. All of this time that you've longed for him has made you sensitive to his touch. You tug at his jacket, which he gladly removes at your request.

Finally, he lays you across the bed. This allows you to wrap your legs around his waist eagerly. "Fuck, you've gotta be careful with that babe. It's hard to control myself when you make it so damn hard." Peter runs his hand through your hair delicately. "I don't want this to be just a one-time thing. I really care about ya." You can feel your eyes gloss over ever so slightly at his loving words. Your head nods in agreement. "I know, I'd love to be a real thing with you. I've liked you for a long time." Confidence has finally made its way back into your body, allowing you to freely speak. "Please kiss me."

Peter flashes you a cheesy grin. "Yes, ma'am!" His hands trail up and down your body in ways you'd never felt before while he kisses you. They trail down your back and across your rear imploringly. His thick finger slips underneath the strap of your dress, tugging it down your shoulder. He freezes, resting his forehead against your own. "Is this okay?"

You nod fervently, begging for his touch. He begins, moving the sleeves expertly off your arms before pausing yet again. "You sure?" He's teasing you now, and it's driving you insane. You can tell by the smirk you can feel against your neck. You smack him on his arm without doing any harm to get your point across. Peter lets out a deep chuckle and continues to pull your dress down, eventually discarding it on the floor.

You're eager to touch him. Tentatively, you trail your fingers down to the zipper of his jeans. You can feel his hard on and slightly squeeze, which makes him gasp at the contact. Imploringly, you continue, unbuttoning his jeans. Peter's hand reaches down to grab yours. He intertwines his fingers with you. "Hey there, eager beaver. I'm not finished with just you yet." His kisses sloppily start at your chest, right between the mount between your breasts. Your bra is very quickly discarded, which Peter shows clear delight about. His eyes light up at the sight of you, almost bear beneath him. "You're really beautiful, babe. Do you know that? I'd hope you do."

He rolls a nipple between his fingers, sending a tingling sensation throughout your body. You're blushing more at the fact that Peter just called your beautiful more than him seeing you naked. You gasp when Peter's hand cups your clothed cunt, still not yet breaking that boundry. Your thighs squeeze together in anticipation, holding him there.

Peter curses under his breath, moving his kisses down your body to your lower abdomen. His finger loops under the delicate lace as he finally reveals all of yourself to him. You're elated to see his cheesy grin as he gawks at the sight, staring at you as if he's a pirate and you're his lost treasure. His hands come up your thighs and halt at the curve of your hip. It's only now that you realize what he's going to do and try to stop him. "Peter, it's okay! You really don't have to do that for me." There's a slight panic that drills you as his head lowers to your heat.

He softly laughs at you. "Trust me, I'm gonna love this. You just sit back and relax, madam." His tongue trails through your folds, leaving your further protests caught in your throat. There was no arguing now with the undeniably pleasurable feelings Peter was drawing out of you. His mouth works into you more, kitten licking your sensitive clit. The strong feeling of him holding you in place only elevates the sheer delight. Every noise you make in response only pushes him more to continue. His ministrations get unfathomably better after every second.

You gasp his name. "Peter, I want you. All of you." He meets your pleading eyes that tears threaten to spill out of from the pure extacy. Peter finally stops, removing his t-shirt. His toned body is a sight to see. With his pants already halfway undone from your previous handiwork, they slide off with ease. You bring yourself to sit up on the edge of the bed to meet him. He plays with your hair, smiling at you sweetly. Your thumb hooks under his boxers, which are Star Wars themed. Something you note that you can tease him about later. With that, you tug away the final layer of clothing that separates you.

Peter goes to climb on top of you once again, but you take the initiative and flip him onto his back. He doesn't dare to stop you as you rub against his cock with your wet cunt, teasing the idea of it slipping inside you. You kiss him, allowing the sweetness of his lips to put you in a comfortable daze. His arm reaches up your back and soothes you. Lining him up with your entrance, he thrusts his hips slowly forward and pushes inside of you.

The stretch you feel is heavenly. Your plush walls suck him in completely. Peter can only bring himself to roll his head back with delight. He struggles with holding in every little noise that he feels the urge to make at your ministrations. You raise your hips up as far as you can without him sliding out, only to sink back down and take him fully once more. Repeating this, Peter brings a hand to his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut. "You're doing so well- fuck." He leans up, kissing you fiercely. His tongue sloppily explores your mouth with a sense of desperation you could never imagine would be over you. He uses his now free hands to guide you up and down his cock, doing most of the lifting to spare your aching legs.

Peter rolls you beneath him, staying connected to you still. His thrusts become relentless and almost too much to bear from the inhuman speed. Your orgasm is steadily approaching. You can feel your senses highten from it. His sensual touches and praise leave you in a state of bliss. Nothing else matters, only the tight coil in your stomach and Peter's lips that precariously suck your neck. He's surely already left a mark you'd have to explain the next day, but this is a concern for another time.

"You're so good. So fuckin' perfect. Why have we never done this? You're the best thing that could've happened to me. I'm not gonna last much longer, baby." Peter groans in your ear, bringing his hand down between the two of you. His fingers trail over your swollen clit and a rippling sensation that follows makes you gasp with suprise. It sends you over the edge immediately, which makes your entire body quake beneath him. Your back arches uncontrollably, and your mind goes blank.

Peter stiffs above you, pulling out. He paints your stomach with his cum opting not to do so inside. You're both short of breath, Peter especially. He collapses beside you, looping his arm around you for a hug. "Thank you so much. So, so much." He pecks your temple. "Give me one sec."

The space beside you becomes empty for just a moment before he returns, wiping you softly with a wet cloth. "I'm so sorry, that probably feels disgusting." He laughs, "Maybe we should take a bath together."

You raise at last to peek at him, the beaming expression on your face being incredibly obvious. "Yeah, I'd like that." With another fluid motion, he sprints back to the bathroom and starts the flowing water for the tub.

You pull Peter into a tight hug when he returns. His skin is comforting and warm against your own. He brings his strong arms tightly around you. A euphoric buzz flows through your brain. This was better than anything you could ever dream of. Taking a deep breath, you bask in the wonderful scent of him.

You press your cheek against his chest. "So, I see you like Obi-Wan Kenobi." You laugh and recall the design on his boxers from earlier.

Peter confidently replies, "Damn right. I have a whole set of them I'll have to show you."

#evan peters #peter maximoff #x men #fluff #peter maximoff x reader #quicksilver #peter maximoff smut

[all-of-her-light]

Ruby and the Unplayed Role

(Warning: Long analysis post.)

In Chapter 115 of Oshi no Ko, as Ruby is preparing to take her turn in the interpersonal acting audition, she reflects on her relationship to acting itself – and describes it as running very deep.

And by "the whole time", she seems to mean the whole time. As Sarina, she "played the role" of a girl who faced her circumstances bravely and bore no grudge against her parents for their neglect, because rebelling against those miserable circumstances would have been futile. Upon her reincarnation, "Ai's daughter" too was a role she played, and after Ai's death, she acted as the bright, innocent, non-grieving idol that she believed Ai wanted her to grow up to be. At this point in the story, we've already seen black-starred Ruby hide her vengeful anger behind a smiling facade, but this monologue suggests broad artificiality in Sarina/Ruby's self-presentation even before her vengeance arc.

Notably, Ruby also wonders here whether Ai's bright persona was an act in the same way that hers was:

This helps set the stage for later story beats like the end of Chapter 134, where Ruby again deepens her insight into Ai by personally relating to her.

And then, as if to drive home the point about her own acting, Ruby's turn in the audition consists of her expressing raw, acute grief over Ai and Gorou's deaths...

...before putting on a bubbly mask and acting like the grief isn't real.

Later on, the scene in Chapter 123 where Ruby spills her guts to Aqua seems to elaborate on the nature of the act that she's been putting on:

Ruby has been burying all of her sadness and anger and frustration, seeking to "smile all the time" in order to be loved. She's been performing a sanitized, idealized version of herself out of fear that no one would love the real her. Just like Ai did. Which, again, gives Ruby a powerful avenue for understanding Ai.

But there's an issue with this analysis. If you look back at Ruby's behavior in the manga's early chapters – before she discovers Gorou's corpse, meets the Crow Girl, becomes vengeful and all that – you'll notice that she doesn't actually express unfailing cheer, optimism, kindness, confidence, or generally Ai-like behavior. She doesn't even seem to be trying, really. She's bright and cheerful sometimes, sure – but other times she's unapologetically not, for understandable human reasons.

For instance, there's that time in Chapter 19 when she begs Miyako to hurry in starting an idol group for her to join, openly expressing insecurity about fitting in with her celebrity peers:

Or that time in Chapter 37 when she approaches Kana to confide in her about her stage fright:

(It's hard to imagine Ai seeking out support from a groupmate like this, at least without them opening up to her first in the same conversation.)

Ruby is also not above being rude or hostile to people, even when it's against her own interests, as can be seen in her bickering with Kana in Volume 2:

And then there's Chapter 23, when Ruby gets on Aqua's case about neglecting family time in favor of LoveNow-related activities:

(This is also one of those things Sarina/Ruby does that takes on a new meaning once you learn about her relationship with her original parents.)

There are more examples of pre-vengeance Ruby expressing various negative emotions to others, but I won't belabor the point. In general, I think perceptions of pre-vengeance Ruby as acting consistently cheerful or positive come largely from exaggerating/simplifying the contrast between her and her gloomy brother, or between her and her "darker" future self. They don't reflect her actual behavior.

Now, speaking of Sarina/Ruby's relationship with her original parents, I think it makes sense that a badly neglected child like Sarina would develop a tendency to avoid behaving in any potentially unpleasant ways around her parents, implicitly hoping that they'll want to spend more time with her that way. I also think it makes sense that she would extend this strategy to other relationships, given the formative role of one's relationship with one's parents – especially in Sarina's case, due to her isolation.

Importantly, though, we don't see Sarina trying to perfectly sanitize herself in her interactions with Gorou. Indeed, they both seem quite comfortable teasing each other (in flashbacks both from earlier chapters and from more recent ones):

The fact that Sarina doesn't walk on eggshells with Gorou suggests that she's relatively secure in her relationship with him, rather than fearing that failure to get along with him flawlessly will drive him away. I think this means Ruby's characterization in the early chapters is compatible with Sarina's later-revealed backstory if we understand Sarina's relationship with Gorou as also having been formative, teaching her that she doesn't need to act perfect to be loved. I also think this interpretation helps elucidate why Gorou means so much to Sarina/Ruby: his robust, reliable love and care for her gave her a level of confidence and security in herself that she didn't have before.

Now, what about Ruby's grief over Ai's death? Don't Chapters 115 and 123 imply that to be the single most prominent feeling that pre-vengeance Ruby was burying beneath her acting? How do the early chapters portray the effect of Ai's death on Ruby? Is that portrayal compatible with 115 and 123 (interpreted the way I did earlier)?

I am again going to argue: not really, no. 115 and 123 have Ruby recall "[acting as if] overcoming my mother's death, becoming a bright and innocent idol" (115) while secretly thinking "it'd be easier if I could just forget about her" (123). They seem to portray Ruby's past coping strategy for Ai's death as avoidant in nature; she tried to avoid letting the tragedy affect her or ideally even thinking about it at all. However, the early chapters portray Ruby's coping strategy for Ai's death as distinctly un-avoidant. Allow me to explain.

Starting off, Chapter 10 shows us Ruby's behavior in the days following Ai's death. We first see her reading social media reactions to Ai's murder and expressing anger and distress at people saying she was asking for it if she had a secret relationship, while Aqua listens silently:

A while later, though, after Ai's funeral – in fact, starting in the very next panel – Ruby and Aqua have the following conversation:

This conversation is echoed in Chapter 12, after the post-prologue timeskip, when Ruby, Miyako, and Aqua talk about Ruby joining the underground idol group:

In both conversations, Ruby doesn't deny her family members' claims about the hardships of idolhood, but she expresses a desire to become an idol anyway, not wanting to let the hardships stop her. After all, Ai sparkled, and Ruby wants to be like her.

(To reiterate, by the way, pre-vengeance Ruby's desire to "be like Ai" does not seem to involve never showing any negativity in her personal life. And it's not even as if Ruby never saw any negativity from Ai to begin with; see e.g. Chapter 4.)

But what does this drive of Ruby's have to do with her grief over Ai's death? After all, Ruby has wanted to be an idol – and to be like Ai – since before she was Ruby. She didn't need Ai to die to want those things. And how would her idol ambitions even psychologically relate to processing her grief?

Well, I think we get a pretty good look at a relation between them later on, starting in Chapter 41. This chapter opens with Ruby talking in her thoughts to "Mama in heaven", telling her about developments in the twins' lives from the past few months (which also serves to fill in and recap for the reader). After the recap, Ruby reassures Ai that she's doing well, and then we get these panels:

Ruby believes that performing at a dome – the elite opportunity that Miyako in Chapter 8 told us was "everyone's fantasy" – was also Ai's fantasy. But Ai's dreams of soaring to maximum fame as an idol were dashed by her murder. And now Ruby has taken it upon herself to fulfill them in Ai's stead, giving her another major reason to pursue idolhood.

We see Ruby visiting Ai's grave again and giving her more updates a couple in-universe months later in Chapter 72. Ruby tells her about the upcoming trip to Miyazaki, Aqua having become more cheerful lately, and then:

All of this implies that Ruby has been visiting Ai's grave and connecting with her memory in this way every few months for who-knows-how-long, and she has no intention of stopping.

This is not the behavior of someone who is trying to avoid giving mental space to the death of a loved one. On the contrary, pre-vengeance Ruby repeatedly confronts herself with the concrete fact of Ai's death and responds to it with mental fight rather than flight. The dark side of the idol world may have killed Ai's body, but it hasn't killed her spirit. Ruby copes with the tragedy of Ai's death by turning it into motivation – to preserve Ai's memory, to take up her mantle, to defy the darkness to ensure that her spirit lives on.

So what should we make of these discrepancies in Ruby's characterization between the earlier and later chapters? Honestly, I'm not completely sure. Maybe there's some way in which all of this makes sense after all. Maybe something got lost in the translation from Japanese to English? Maybe some of Ruby's recollections in Chapters 115 and 123 that we've assessed are meant to apply specifically to her vengeful self, or to the times when she was making public appearances? Maybe Akasaka deliberately wrote some of those recollections to be wrong to show that Ruby's awful present mental state is distorting her memories and sense of self? It seemingly wouldn't be the only case of that happening; Ruby appears to claim in Chapter 122 that the reason she became an idol in the first place was to avenge Ai and Gorou, which we know isn't true (and which Aqua also refuses to believe).

However, I think we should also consider the possibility that Akasaka just changed his mind about how he wanted to write Ruby partway through the manga, and the discrepancies in her characterization are artifacts of that without a good in-story explanation. For instance, maybe Akasaka only nailed down the details of Ruby's role in the Movie arc relatively recently, and the things he wanted to do with her required her to be able to personally relate to Ai in ways that didn't line up with her established characterization. So Akasaka tried to reframe what he'd written before to make Ruby more similar to Ai in certain ways, without complete success.

If this hypothesis is true, then Ruby isn't one fully consistent character throughout the whole manga; we have to distinguish "Old Ruby" and "New Ruby" at a minimum. And that idea disappoints me; Ruby is one of my favorite OnK characters, and inconsistencies of this size in her character progression interfere with my ability to appreciate it as it continues into the future. I also just kinda like Old Ruby better than New Ruby; I think Old Ruby better distinguishes herself from Ai and contrasts her in an interesting way. Old Ruby (pre-vengeance) is a person who knows the feeling of loving and being loved, values living authentically, and largely succeeds at it from day to day, but is nevertheless building her life on a couple of big lies and misunderstandings. (Ai didn't dream of the dome; Ai didn't want her children to remain a secret forever; the Ai who Ruby has dedicated herself to honoring is not the real Ai.) I think a character like that is a valuable addition to a story like OnK, and I'm disappointed at the idea of Old Ruby's arc never getting a proper, non-retconning second half and conclusion.

#oshi no ko #aohl talks onk #ruby hoshino #sarina tendouji #onk spoilers #long post #abuse cw

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

when people say wwx is not truly good because he rightfully sought revenge (justice!!!??!!) against those who wronged him and his former sect... dude some of them are so silly it upsets me

I have said it before but I think when people read, they don't want to draw a line between the conventions of what are considered everyday expectations of what is considered justifiable morals in our very monotonous domestic lives, to that of what is presented as wild and fantastical for fantasy.

The best accompaniment I can think of to compare to what we see from MDZS in a well-known English work is The Hunger Games. We have a protagonist that is very proud and independent in their own talents, they know what their limitations are yet still are able to go above even those when they are pushed to do it, every time this is out of a sense of duty but also devotion to what they love. They are not naive of the cruelty of life and at times can even come off as rather jaded about the reality of their worlds for good reason as both essentially are made caretakers and keepers of children their own age because of the incompetence of the adults in their lives and needing to learn how to survive themselves, but still offer love and hope for the best for the ones they care about.

They are also both thrust into continuous life and death situations, not because of any fault of their own, but because they didn't want others to be hurt needlessly. Neither Katniss or Wei Wuxian WANT to be self-sacrificial, they actually fight tooth and nail to live, they want to live because it is very human, but they also disavow real cruelty, not justifiable vengeance. They kill themselves to survive and partake in gruesome ones, yet the thing is that even in their own settings these are not condemned as them having ever been wrong for that by the narratives, one is in first person perspective and the other is from an omniscient other perspective.

This also reflects in the traits of their respective love interest that they both admittedly knew little about but were unconsciously taken by in their younger days and continued to have that admiration grow partly in due to the kindness within the love interest that is focused on heavily as a point of draw. And ironically both are called "oblivious" in their feelings of love when no, they rationalize it as friendship each time throughout the novels until they can and do safely admit they cannot be or it would always be the other for them.

Morality is a very fine line to argue when what is not my every day expectations of it are defied by the themes meant for novels and plots. In not one instance would I try to say Wei Wuxian or Katniss are "morally grey" or not justified in their actions when they continued to stick to their own ideals as much as possible without compromising what they believed to be right. They themselves do not ever try to deny their part in hurt or harm caused but do not take more and do not want more blame then they realistically are due. Maybe people see that as selfish and callous, I for one do not when they decide to take responsibility for what is theirs all the while being unapologetic about wanting to survive and happiness as what they deem is happiness.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #the hunger games #katniss everdeen

[luvwah]

hi roxx! i have a request:

can you do a finnick x fem!reader where r heard a friend she had made in the arena in her past games during the jabberjays attack and starts breaking down when finnick helps comfort her w little kisses and tell her everything's gonna be okay? tysm bb LOVE YOU <3

🎧

hii ! ! thank you for the request and i know how much you love finnick so i tried to make it as long as possible !

masterlist

synopsis : : in the hunger games arena, the plot revolves around the protagonist and finnick odair forming a tactical alliance. their journey involves navigating treacherous terrain, sharing moments of humor and camaraderie, and facing the torment of haunting jabberjays that resurface painful memories. as the night unfolds, finnick's demeanor shifts from playful to comforting, and their connection deepens, leading to intimate moments that transcend the harsh reality of the games. the flickering campfire symbolizes their shared resilience amid uncertainty, offering a tale of survival and an unexpected bond.

word count : : 700

warnings : : none ! !

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love in the shadowsִ໋.

the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow on the dense foliage of the arena. finnick and you moved cautiously through the underbrush, your eyes constantly scanning for signs of danger. your alliance had been forged out of necessity, a tactical move to increase your chances of survival in the hunger games.

the day had been long, filled with treacherous terrain and the constant threat of other tributes. as night fell, you decided to set up camp in a small clearing, the air heavy with the scent of damp earth and anticipation. the crackling fire provided both warmth and a modest sense of security, a temporary haven amidst the ever-present danger.

around the flickering flames, finnick and you stole glances, silent acknowledgments of the unlikely partnership you found yourselves in. finnick, ever charismatic, couldn't help but let a mischievous smile play on his lips.

"you know," he began, leaning in closer, "if you were a fish, you'd be fin-tastic."

you raised an eyebrow, a mixture of amusement and disbelief. "really, finnick? fish puns in the middle of the hunger games?"

finnick chuckled, undeterred. "why not? we could all use a little humor in this place. besides, it's a good distraction from the madness around us."

the night settled, and the jabberjays, those malevolent harbingers of torment, began their haunting mimicry. you noticed the subtle change in your demeanor as your eyes darkened with the weight of memories.

"hey," finnick whispered, his hand finding yours. "don't let them get to you. we've got each other, remember?"

you nodded, attempting to shake off the memories that threatened to resurface. the firelight flickered, casting shadows that danced on your faces. sensing an opportunity to lighten the mood, finnick flashed a playful grin.

"are you a magician?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye. "because whenever i look at you, everyone else disappears."

a genuine laugh escaped your lips, the tension momentarily forgotten. "you're incorrigible, finnick odair."

he winked, unapologetic. "guilty as charged. but you like it."

as the night wore on, finnick continued his playful banter, weaving pickup lines into the fabric of your conversation. yet, beneath the lighthearted exterior, a silent understanding passed between you—a recognition of the harsh reality you faced.

but when the jabberjays' mimicry intensified, your composure wavered. a familiar voice, echoing from your past games, pierced through the night. finnick, ever perceptive, pulled you into a comforting embrace.

"finnick, it's him. my friend from the arena. he's calling out to me,"

you confessed, vulnerability in your voice.  finnick's expression shifted from playful to serious. he held you closer, his touch a grounding force.

"stay with me. focus on my voice. we're not there anymore. we're here, and we're safe."

the memories clung to you like shadows refusing to dissipate. tears welled in your eyes as you relived the horrors etched into your very soul. finnick held you close, his arms a steadfast refuge. the pickup lines, once a source of distraction, were replaced by a somber silence.

"you're safe," he whispered, his voice a soothing melody.

"we're not in the arena anymore. i'm right here with you." as the jabberjays' tormenting mimicry began to fade, finnick continued to offer comfort. he wiped away your tears, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your cheeks. without a word, he leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your forehead, your temples, and finally to your lips.

each kiss was a promise, a reassurance that you were more than tributes thrust into a deadly game—you were two souls finding solace in the midst of chaos. the pickup lines were forgotten, replaced by the warmth of shared vulnerability and the unspoken bond that grew between you.

your campfire flickered, casting shadows on the ground. finnick held you in his arms, the night wrapping around you like a cocoon. in the heart of the arena, where darkness loomed, the light of your connection burned bright, a beacon of warmth in the cold embrace of uncertainty.

and as you faced the tribulations yet to come, you found solace not just in survival but in the tender moments that echoed through the night—a testament to the resilience of your shared spirit.

———————————

𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘆 ! @liseytopia

-𝘅𝗼𝘅𝗼 𝗿𝗼𝘅 <𝟯

💌

———————————

©: do not copy, translate, or steal my work.

ｔｈａｎｋ ｙｏｕ ！！ :3

#୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀 rox's blogs ! ! #moots. ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა ♡ #💌 #₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ finnick odairᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 #𓍯𓂃 the hunger games ೀ⋆｡🌷 #finnick odair #fem!reader #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #the hunger games #hunger games

[frozenwafflesagain]

I spent the first hour of my 25th birthday thinking about Ben Hargreeves, as one does.

And thus I present…

A Collection of Ben Hargreeves Thoughts And Theories

- INSANELY misunderstood in my opinion

- There is a difference between how Ben was as a child versus who he is as a (ghost) adult

- The Hargreeves all remember the child Ben was, while Klaus knows who Ben became and loves him for it

- Ben as a child: sweet, quiet, kind, gentle, polite, snarky, serious, timid, fearful, still, obedient, know-it-all

- Ben as an adult: loyal, determined, jaded, unapologetic, realist, tough love, practical, sad, sarcastic, caring, desperate, annoyed

- Everyone says Ben was “the best of them” when they were teenagers; I imagine that he was always there for whoever needed it with a kind word or just a hand to hold. Ben just wants to help, I think that’s one trait that stayed with him into adulthood.

- He was afraid of the Horror growing up, obviously. He didn’t want to use it, we can assume from this that he never took pleasure in the death and destruction it brought. He literally says “I didn’t sign up for this.”

- Seemed to go along with Klaus’ pranks, even enjoy them. He might have had a bit of a wild side as a teenager that faded a bit after he died.

- We know he was scared to move on to the afterlife when he died. I think it was because he didn’t want to leave his family yet.

- He stayed with Klaus all those years, and he didn’t have to. He CHOSE to. I think he wanted to stay with Klaus, give him someone to hold on to and watch out for him no matter how frustrating it got.

- But even though he wouldn’t abandon Klaus, Ben very clearly got angry and frustrated and annoyed with him, and understandably so. He had to watch Klaus waste away the life he didn’t get to have.

- When he says as much to Klaus when they’re at the motel, I don’t think this was Ben choosing to rub the reality of his death in Klaus’ face. I don’t think he was doing it to be malicious, because that’s not Ben. I think that he was trying to give Klaus something else to focus on while he was reliving his trauma. Tough love - yeah, what he was saying was undoubtedly hard for Klaus to hear, and I’m sure Ben was airing out his own grievances, but I think it was in the name of distraction more than anything else. If Klaus could think about what Ben was going through instead of focusing on the memories, that could help him in the end.

- In regards to the S2 possession: I chalk that up to poor writing and poor characterization. Ben ASKING Klaus to possess him makes sense to me, but everything else that he does without consent I see as a failure to understand Ben’s character. After everything they went through as kids, after everything Ben himself went through, after the things he probably saw happen to Klaus on the streets, I simply refuse to believe that Ben would have “no regrets” about taking control of Klaus’ body like that. The person the writers have set up Ben to be prior to those scenes would NEVER have been okay with that. Honestly, in my mind, those Ben scenes are not canon.

-That being said, his decision to save Viktor makes perfect sense. As much as he clearly wanted to stay with Klaus, he knew he would finally make an impact on his sibling’s lives if he could get to Viktor and help him control his powers. Again, he showed Viktor tough love along with compassion: he didn’t let him give up.

- But wanting a hug as he goes? There’s the Ben they all knew as kids.

- I think he probably regretted not getting to tell Klaus the truth in his last moments, which is why he asks Viktor to do it. He didn’t want Klaus to carry around the guilt he must have felt at the idea that he made Ben stay. Ben, despite growing harder and more jaded in death, is still kindhearted.

- Predictably, dying greatly affected his personality and the way he saw things as he stayed with Klaus.

#I actually cannot stop thinking about him #it’s a problem #ben hargreeves #tua #the umbrella academy #tua ben #character study #umbrella academy #umbrella academy headcanons #umbrella academy ben #tua theory

[sophiamcdougall]

I saw a post earlier about "women's spaces" and how the writer had often experienced them as hostile rather than inherently safe and welcoming and therefore precious. Now, I could relate to that to some degree, as I still tend to start off pretty tense at events for, say, queer women even though I now go quite a lot of them: "hello I'm bi! If anyone's going to have a problem with that it would be nice to get it out of the way immediately!" But I do value some women's spaces. I would be sad if gendered loos, for instance, went away completely. I've had mad, intense conversations in women's loos that I do not think would have happened in an evenly mixed setting. I have experienced the Drunk Girl Oracle who exists nowhere but in the queue for the ladies: I want her habitat to continue to exist. But the thing is: no "women's space" I've ever been in has ever been this inviolate grove of Artemis where no man may set foot without getting turned into a fucking stag.

Trans women are women. Trans women belong in women's spaces. Trans women make me feel not less but more safe in women's spaces, for reasons that will become clear. When transphobes are screaming that the sky will and does fall in whenever a trans woman walks into a women's bathroom, of course I argue from that starting point.

But also I think it's worth examining the entire premise that spaces FOR [this type of person] are inherently spaces from which [that type of person] is banned.

So like, where are these women's spaces that don't come with the common-sense understanding that while usually, mostly you won't see men in there, if you do he's probably got reasons and its fine?

Is no one else seeing those signs that say "these premises are cleaned by male and female staff"? What about dads with small daughters? Is it really that bad if a man just plain gets lost or has one shot to avoid an emergency from time to time?

There was this meetup for bi people I used to go to. But of course there were never only bi people there. People brought along friends and partners who might be straight or gay. And oh-shit-it-turns-out-I'm-bi people who were still identifying as gay in the rest of their lives came on the quiet. And there was this one lesbian who -- ironically given a certain slur the GC crowd like to throw at bi women -- came quite unapologetically as a tourist, to observe our strange ways and, as she put it, to "encourage us."

These people were explicitly welcome. It was not a space from which not-bi people were barred. It was still a bi meetup. It was still a "bi space." I was at a sapphics' club night last Friday. And there were some men there. I mean, apparently cis, entirely male-presenting, gender-conforming men in the Women's Space™ . Some of them were bar staff, for starters. Is that OK with the GCs? Does all the terror and horror and loss at the thought of a man in your precious Women's Space go away if the man's being paid? If so, it seems oddly ... conditional. But also some of them some seemed not to be working but just sort of ... there. Maybe they were somebody's friends? They certainly didn't bother anyone. I didn't see where they ended up. You see, I was mainly focused on the hot chicks.

There's another wlw event I go to, to which a guy regularly shows up and we've chatted a few times. He usually wears what you'd conventionally call "women's clothes" but does not present as a woman. I know he uses he/him pronouns at present, (I asked) though he implied there was some possibility that might change. I don't know if he's a regular because he's a friend of the host or if he's a friend of the host because he's a regular. I don't know if something about the wlw label speaks to him on some personal level or if it's about queer solidarity, or if he's like the encouraging lesbian at the bi meetups. Whatever the reason, he's just there.

And aside from the fact that we have similar taste in hats, his presence in ye olde sapphic space also makes me feel more safe, for much the same reason the presence of a woman I know is trans does. I'm afraid it's selfish. Because if everyone's being cool about him, or about her, I can be pretty confident no one who finds out that I, too, disrupt binaries just by existing, is going to decide to ruin the evening over it. Because, you know, that has happened to me.

Now like I say, Actual Men in women's spaces aren't the reason trans women belong in women's spaces. But Actual Men entering women's spaces and not thereby ruining them forever do illustrate the utter pointlessness of thinking of women's spaces as these high-walled fortresses to begin with. Spaces for [a type of person] can exist, and still be porous. In fact, to be healthy and functional, they have to be.

[alm0ndla1t]

༘⋆ - WHAT ZODIAC SIGNS ARE THE WEDNESDAY CHARACTERS?

༘⋆ - TW: none, other than a long astrological essay on wednesday characters…

༘⋆ - WEDNESDAY: no one in this world could be a better representation of the scorpio sun other than wednesday addams. i am on cloud nine to have it be canon, as her birthday is set to be november 13th in the series. although, i must add that i suspect her being a scorpio rising too, as her love for all things black and gore and her overall appearance is definitely a dead giveaway. the sun and rising conjunction indicates that her public image is a reflection of who she really is - she might have her guards up, but she’s not masking her truest self. in other words, wednesday accurately presents herself to the world. wednesday, as most scorpios, is quick witted yet cold in most situations. she is not easily swept off her feet, but as any other water sign, she’ll be absolutely devoted to you once you earn her trust.

༘⋆ - ENID: our lovely werewolf girl is definitely giving me cancer sun vibes - she might second guess her decisions or be overally clumsy, but you can’t deny that she is the mom friend. enid is a ray of sunshine - she is quite talkative and sociable, and once you two click - she’ll be your bestest bud. she’ll paint your nails, make you snoods to match and banter about the latest nevermore drama. not only that, we have to remember that cancer is ruled by moon - which is something that makes quite a lot of sense and is generally significant to her, considering her outcast species.

༘⋆ - XAVIER: the one and only resident tortured artist is definitely a sagittarius man in my eyes. he seems like quite the jokester and the type of person whose flirting style is roasting & sarcasm. he’s all over the place and quite nosy, giving advices left & right and wanting to be a part of every major event, whether that be you hunting down the hyde by its footprints or visiting the gates’ house. that, however, also indicates the presence of his caring nature, and in some cases, possessiveness. that brings me to the point where i state that he gives me scorpio venus vibes. i mostly see a confirmation of that in his thing for ‘tragic goth girls with funeral parlor fashion sense’. his sag sun also indicates his creativity and love for all things art, since sagittarius, just like the artsy sign pisces, is ruled by jupiter. xavier is very blunt and will not hesitate to call you out on your bs, especially if it involves his ego being hurt (very fire sign man of him). under the facade of the whole ‘life of the party’ persona, there is a darker side to him, which his friend ajax briefly mentions.

༘⋆ - AJAX: when it comes to our stoner boy ajax, there is no doubt that this gorgon guy is a taurus. he is down to earth, laid back and is a person of warm nature. he is basically the epitome of ‘no thoughts, just vibes’. with taurus being ruled by venus, ajax shows up as loving and caring person when it comes to both lovers, friends and family. the stoner boy is a dependable and trustworthy friend, and we certainly see it in course of his conversation with enid, where he reveals xavier’s ‘darker side’ yet still highlights his devotion to the friend. but sadly, as a good old taurus sun, he doesn’t really take hints.

༘⋆ - BIANCA: bianca is unarguably one of the best examples of a female leo sun. this girl is always driven by the exciting feeling of competition and the desire to win, but also has a darker side to her which haunts her on a daily basis. apart from most fire signs, or even leo’s neighboring sign virgo, leos tend to have a lot of insecurities that they compensate for by being arrogant & unapologetically extra. this clearly explains bianca’s behavior, and therefore in my story, she is definitely not the villain. we see that her personality traits were also influenced by her mother’s toxicity, which makes me believe her moon could definitely be in scorpio. her siren powers are both a blessing and a curse - with the help of those, she was able to siren her way into the academy, leaving the toxic environment of ‘morning song’, but when it comes to her platonic or romantic relationships, her powers are often frowned upon.

༘⋆ - TYLER: weirdly enough, when speaking of tyler, i must say that he could be a capricorn sun. moreover, i will have the nerve to say that his sun is definitely in opposition to his moon, thus being in cancer, because it would make perfect sense to me. these two placements indicate his emotional ups and downs and the struggles of his wants and needs. coming from my personal observations, tyler’s mental health state, as well as the neediness and (at some point) fear of abandonment when it comes to romantic relationships, could be easily explained by his sun and moon sign. the teenage boy is always overwhelmed by his thoughts and feelings and is unable to comprehend them. therefore, he is prone to manipulation, and in this case, ms. thornhill’s influence. it is also important to note that such aspect shows a complex relationship with a mother figure, as well as the absence of the father to some extent. that is why i do believe he has this particular astro combination, which gives him a mixture of personalities.

༘⋆ - EUGENE: to end off and complete the holy water sign trinity, it must be said that eugene would probably be a pisces. that kid is absolutely wholesome and has to be protected by all costs, but he completely denies it as he puts his life in danger, striving to accomplish a heroic mission of investigating the hyde’s lair. with his exaggerated sense of a fairy tale romance and never-ending attempts of finding his one true love who would appreciate him for who he is, i suppose his sun sign is conjunct his venus. his genuine friendship with the scorpio sun wednesday could easily explain my choice for his sun sign, as, speaking from experience once again, i am the number one stan of scorpio x pisces friendships.

#xavier thorpe #wednesday #wednesday addams #wednesday headcanons #wednesday addams x reader #enid sinclair #enid sinclair x reader #enid sinclair headcanons #tyler galpin #tyler galpin headcanons #ajax petropolus #ajax petropolus headcannons #eugene ottinger #bianca barclay #astro observations #xavier thorpe headcannons #ajax petropolus x reader #tyler galpin x reader #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe headcanons

[angelic-omega]

Misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia in the Good Omens fandom

!!! Neil this is not a criticism of you !!!

**Disclaimer: I’m not saying Crowley wouldn’t bottom I’m trying to point out larger issues**

Aziraphale exhibits many feminine traits compared to Crowley personality wise. He could be a woman in the show and his character would not change! The way he expresses himself and the way he carries himself is feminine. He’s a passenger princess, Crowley drives. He likes books, food, and wine. He’s bubbly and friendly! He is unapologetically feminine and he does not care to hide it! He is a man shaped being who does not fall privy to toxic masculinity! Crowley likes his car, scotch, and black coffee! He is grumpy and doesn’t express emotions often! Crowley as a character falls prey to toxically masculine ideals. The fandom doesn’t like Aziraphale being the wife who goes around doing all the talking while Crowley stands off to the side in silence. They don’t like that Crowley is the one buying chocolates and flowers, they don’t like them falling into heteronormative stereotypes.

So what does the fandom do? They give both characters a makeover! They give supreme archangel Aziraphale a nice full beard to butch him up! They put Crowley in fancy dresses and heels! The put nice and feminized Crowley in the role of the needy bottom and put Aziraphale into the role of big bad top. That obviously makes much more sense because if you took the feminine character and made them the bottom that would be homophobic clearly!

Newsflash! The queer community lived in secret for decades working on developing subtle ways to communicate their preferences! Aziraphale frequented these spaces and learned these signals! Matter of fact Aziraphale is probably the one who started those things! If you knew an Aziraphale as a queer person in real life, you would immediately assume he was a bottom. Unless he told you otherwise you would assume he was a bottom just as you would assume Crowley was a top. Let’s be honest! The only reason the fandom makes Aziraphale the top is because they don’t want to adhere to stereotypes…

I would be fine with this if the entire fandom was not dead set on the masculinization of Aziraphale. He has said so himself! He is soft! The fandom is taking a feminine character who is comfortable in his masculinity and forcing him to be more masculine to fit their preferences. There is nothing wrong with a man being feminine and there is nothing wrong with a feminine man being a bottom! People assume feminine gay men are bottoms because in the queer community many feminine men ARE! The takeaway from this being not all feminine gay men are bottoms but the ones that are tops…don’t change their personality to be a top! The fandom won’t put Crowley in the dominant role because he is in the masculine side of things despite his scattered female presentations! For the same reason they won’t let Aziraphale be the bottom because he falls onto the feminine side of things!

I understand why the fandom would be cautious to do so as putting the feminine character into a more submissive role could be seen as sexist. However, some people in the feminine role enjoy being in the submissive role as well! Especially in the LGBT community! Both characters have deep LGBT roots and if you frequented queer spaces you would see that stereotypes aren’t always a bad thing. Now being feminine and submissive does not make Aziraphale less of a strong character! Femininity does not equal weakness and masculinity does not equal strength! You’re afraid to infantilize Aziraphale…

What you aren’t considering is you are actively making him more traditionally masculine to fit into the role you want him to play. This isn’t Aziraphale and Crowley! This is Cis man Aziraphale is the boss of overly feminized Crowley! Half the fanfics and fanarts I see are Aziraphale being dominant and Crowley being Submissive and most of the time Aziraphale ALWAYS has a penis. Here is where the transphobia comes in to play! The fandom claims to enjoy their more fluid sense of gender but then I so rarely see fem presenting Crowley who is in the dominant role. I so rarely see a AMAB fem presenting Crowley! Frankly I have never seen AFAB Aziraphale be placed in the dominant role!

Angels and Demons can have whatever effort they want so why does Aziraphale always need a penis to be dominant? Ineffable wives aside, whenever I someone gives Aziraphale a penis 97% of the time he is in the dominant role. When I do see the characters presenting as T4T (Trans for Trans) Crowley is still the bottom because everyone is sees Aziraphale in the more masculine role. You draw FTM Crowley with eyeliner and jewelry and you don’t change a thing about FTM Aziraphale! You never give Aziraphale a more androgynous look you leave that to Crowley. Aziraphale is always depicted as 100% female or 100% male! I see some artists making him FTM but not many. The majority of the fandom from what I’ve seen sees Aziraphale as a cis man with a penis and Crowley as this Androgynous She/They with whatever genitals suits the situation.

Fun part being that they are both sexless beings unless they choose to make an effort. Yet I only ever see Crowley referred to mainly as she/her even when presenting as masculine! I see Crowley being referred to with They/She/He and I see Aziraphale being given beards and referred to as He/Him or given dresses and referred to as She/Her! Are you saying that the sexless demon is more feminine leaning, the demon that happens to be the bottom to you? Are you also saying that Aziraphale is typically more masculine and is the top? Obviously Aziraphale would be in charge so let’s change his entire personality and identity to fit him into that stereotype! Even though he fits more into the other stereotype…

In trying to not put the characters into boxes you have put them into boxes! It’s also transphobic to me that everyone collectively genders Aziraphale as either He/Him or She/Her on the very rare occasions when they are just as sexless as Crowley!

Let’s talk ineffable wives now since we are discussing transphobia! Whenever I see art of ineffable wives they are always both drawn or written as cis women! If everyone is so inclusive here then why don’t I ever see MTF Aziraphale? I do believe I’ve seen MTF Crowley but not often! This circles back around to the toxic masculinity undertones of Crowley’s character! People feel ok putting him into the MTF role because they know putting Aziraphale into that role would make the character too feminine! Society hates femininity especially the more of it you have! The fandom is fine with MTF Crowley or Cis woman Crowley because “She’s not like other girls”! Whereas nobody wants Aziraphale in a more feminine role alongside Crowley in a more masculine role because she is like other girls! Aziraphale is Barbie! Aziraphale’s femininity is a large part of his character and something with a lot of power and strength to boldly be so feminine in a society that Hates femininity no matter what you’ve got between your legs!

Never have I seen anyone drawing ineffable wives with dominant Azi being a cis woman and Submissive Crowley being MTF! It’s almost like the fandom is playing into the narrative that a pussy is a weak and a penis is strong? The only time I see Dominant AFAB Aziraphale is when Crowley is AFAB as well! Playing back into the misogynistic concept that a pussy is not seen as a dominant organ! Hence why saying someone has balls means they are a go getter and saying they are a pussy makes them weak!

The funny part about this whole situation is I’m pretty sure most of the fandom is full of cis women! Who have lived through sexism first hand and still sit down and fundamentally change these characters to fit into a sexist narrative! I’m fine with Aziraphale being Dominant and Crowley being Submissive but where my issue lies is when you turn them into a stereotype. You claim you don’t want to stereotype them but then you do exactly that! Feminine gay men can dom and don’t need to be bearded Daddy doms to do it! If you want Aziraphale in the dominant role he doesn’t need to be subjected to toxic masculinity to do it!

Also while we are on the topic I’d like to discuss another trope I see a lot in this fandom! People say Aziraphale would clearly be in the dominant role because of how he is built vs how Crowley is built…the role of Top and Bottom is not defined by physical strength? I’ve known plenty of very dominant tops who were rail thin and I’ve known plenty of chubby bottoms! Not to mention plenty of absolutely ripped submissives! Physical appearance should not be considered when discussing this sort of thing ESPECIALLY when in the LGBT community!! Not every chubby guy is a Daddy Dom! Not every Twink is Automatically a bottom!!

For your consideration if anyone is a Daddy Dom it’s Crowley! Who is always buying gifts? Who is taking who out to dinner? Who is driving? Who is being the scary guard dog while Aziraphale is out and about? My point to this long rant is if you don’t want to depict Aziraphale as submissive because it perpetuates a sexist stereotype…then don’t make him toxically masculine in order for him to be in the dominant role! If you don’t want to depict Crowley as dominant because it perpetuates a sexist stereotype then don’t put him in pretty gowns and makeup to do it!

Aziraphale doesn’t need a penis to be Dominant and Crowley doesn’t need to be physically weaker to be Submissive! You are all overthinking it and by doing so you are turning things right back around to where they started! It’s ok for Aziraphale to fit that stereotype of being feminine and submissive especially in the bedroom because guess what? At the end of the day sexual preference does not make you less of a person! You can be submissive in the bedroom and still be large and in charge when need be! Also just because someone is feminine doesn’t mean they are submissive, but just because they are dominant doesn’t automatically mean they have to be masculine! You’re telling me Nanny couldn’t fuck or strap? You’re telling me every time Crowley has presented as a woman he hasn’t given off dominatrix vibes?

In conclusion Crowley and Aziraphale are the epitome of being queer! They don’t owe you heteronormativity and they don’t owe you gender conformity!Yes, Aziraphale is more feminine and Crowley is more masculine and that is how they are written! Gay people in real life can’t be heterosexual in a gay relationship don’t know if you’re aware! This doesn’t mean Aziraphale can’t top and that Crowley can’t bottom it just means don’t take away Aziraphale’s Femininity to make him a dom! Neil wrote this characters this way for a reason! I don’t care who is dominant and who is submissive… I care that we’ve circled back around to the one in the makeup and the dress bends over for the man with a beard and a suit! I guess what I’m trying to say is write whatever you want and draw whatever you want but don’t trade one stereotype for another!

#good omens #good omens aziraphale #good omens crowley

[lilmajorshawty]

Sun And Moon Combos.

Placements, AVATAR LAB AND LOK 🌎🌪☄️🌊

Aang as a Libra sun, cancer moon : passive, changeable, compassionate, heartfelt, naive, disciplined, childlike and scattered. Transparent but also lacking in grounding, optimistic, plays by ear rather than by logistics, immensely caring and people focused, doesn’t really know what they want, literally formless like air, can seem highly sensative and emotional but in a distant way as if the emotional currents are along the horizon yet never hitting the shore.

Katara as a Pisces sun, Aquarius moon: nurturing, sympathetic and empathetic, soft but steady, emotionally present yet emotionally wise and focused, the one that holds the family together. Emotions can be powerful and often times overwhelming for them yet they have the most control over their own reactions to anger, sadness and even love that it can seem as though they are wise beyond years. Can seem like a mother, constructive and imaginative, clairvoyant and spiritual.

Sokka as a Virgo sun, Leo moon : self assured, anxious, clever, the strategist, paranoid and distrusting, cutting and short, affectionate, romantic, heart on their sleeve type, THE HERO. Savior complex and can seem egotistical, timid and very afraid of their very real obligations and duties but always follows through, emotionally open and trustworthy, loyal beyond what they should be, tender and protective, overbearing.

Suki As a Taurus Sun, Sagittarius Moon: Courageous, Well versed, Mature and hardworking, Tolerant, Patient, Ardent, Strong willed and deeply self satisfied, Loving and tender, Can seem rough around the edges or like a tom girl, in men this can make him seem more ruddy and gruff than usual, Hard to settle down, free spirit and rarely waste time trapped in their thoughts, Readily jumps into things, Does not wait for life to give them direction. Headstrong.

Princess Yue as a Pisces Sun, Pisces Moon: Empath, Deeply feeling, Vibrational, Emotionally perceptive, Radiant, Caring and understanding, Easily sacrifices, believes that their actions are bigger than just them, Cares for the world and people at large and at times more than themselves, Lost, turbulent, Hides from the world, evasive and passive, can seem to disappear at times, emotionally present but at times emotionally distant,Brave for everyone else but can struggle to be brave with themselves.

Toph as a Taurus sun, Aries moon : attentive, the listener, EXTEREMLY independent, sees and feels like as if it were the first time, every time. Grounded. HARDHEADED. Tenacious but more than just being all talk, tense, rigid, extrovert. Unapologetic personality, blunt and realistic.

Jet as a Gemini sun, Virgo Moon: Calculated, Charming, paranoid, a bully, Loving but has a bad way of showing this, Stable internally, Emotionally consistent, Grows a lot, Sensitive, Trapped mentality, very much so the type to create their own life, conflicted personality, introspective, supportive and wants the best for everyone, very much the type to create a family with anyone/make everyone feel at home, scattered to an extent.

Zuko as a Sagittarius sun, Scorpio moon : complex, mentally conflicted, heart v. Moralistic views, to fit in or to wonder far away. The constant questions, never satisfied with stagnancy, forever evolving, intense emotional state, the warrior, self discipline, self taught, time is the key to all prowess type of personality.

Azula as a Leo sun, Pisces Moon : dark, emotionally suppressant, mood swings and paranoia, engamatic and entrancing aura, magnetic, ambitious and iconic. Sets trends and sets the bar high for everyone else to reach. Cunning and mentally adept and adaptable, 700 steps ahead of everyone else. Broken and very hurt internally by being misunderstood.

Mai as a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon: Deep, Introverted, Responsive and emotionally compassionate, Hyper sensitive, Moody, Depressive at times and standoffish, Depth, Focused and disciplined, Loyalty is everything, solitude, a small circle, Loves hard, Goth and sort of Bubbly in a intense sorta way, Wise beyond their years. 

Ty Lee As a Sagittarius Sun, Taurus Moon: Bubbly, Ditsy, Silly and polite, Carries themselves highly and is extremely respectful with all people, lacks proper character judgment of people, very kind at heart and often very giving, Loves life and are insanely positive, Tend to take good care of their bodies and well being, smiles, radiant but very immature in many ways. Lacks emotional awareness of their actions. The child. 

Iroh as a Aries sun, Capricorn moon : bubbly and disengaged, always distracted, storyteller and mr and Mrs folktale, keeps everyone uplifted, sacrifices themselves for others instinctually and without a second thought, can switch from being childlike to mature in the flip of a switch, very deep emotions, sensitive to others and deeply understanding, The master.

Korra as a Aries sun, Gemini moon : hotheaded, not as deep as they should be, playful and masculine energy, highly sexual and sensual, the pursuer, likes the chase and adores the mental aspect of learning and challenging themselves, BRAVE and LOUDMOUTHED, can be level but needs experience.

Mako as a Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon : cool and calm, looks at the bigger picture, not quick to commit and prefers distance, wanderer type, likes to explore but prefers to do this in solitude, deep thinker, strong personal presence.

Bolin as a cancer sun, Taurus moon : literal children, soft and family oriented, loves femininity in their lives but I’d also say they express this with the world as well. Musical, dancers and sweetness, hard to hide emotions, very strong sense of duty.

Asami as a Leo sun, Aquarius moon : low key, the engineer, knows how things work, can play to a specific role without any real training, knows how to de-stress, careful planner, very emotionally open and patient with others, keeps people in line.

Bei - Lin as a Capricorn sun, Capricorn moon: intense, sophisticated, talkative and narcissistic, patronizing, loving and devoted, hard time putting themselves in someone else’s shoes, too honest, blunt and cold, aloof and moody, ambitious and self preserving, able to build the world and environment they desire, captivating, capricious “literally.” Projects, work and family above all else.

Firelord Ozai  as a Scorpio Sun, Aquarius Moon: Intense, Domineering, Ambitious, Critical and detached, Merciless, Ruthless, Stoic, calm and persevering, Collected, The leader, Spiteful of yes men, Emotionally unstable, Passionate, Loyal, Manipulative, Gratuitous, Commanding and Demanding, protective and jealous, Unstoppable. Devoted to their cause for better or worse, The ability to turn of emotion.

Tenzin as a Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon: Gentle, cerebral, Indecisive, Restless and fickle nature, The forever student, Humble, Superior yet shy, disciplined, mature, independent and well intended, Spiritual but also a creature of habit. Naive, Forgiving to a fault, slow oiling affections, Disappointed, High standards, A lover.

Jinora as a Libra sun, Libra Moon: Intuitive, A peoples person, A fine reader of character, Insecure, Doubtful, Bright and sincere, Diligent, A believer in society, Unison makes the dream work, Cherishes loved ones, Self aware, Deeply spiritually in-tune, clairvoyant, The healer, Lives for other people.

Avatar Roku as a Aquarius Sun, Scorpio Moon: Goofy, Playful and optimistic, Lives in their own world, Content with loneliness, Good will, Honest, Blunt, Sacrificing personality, Does things for others easily, Trusting and at times too trusting, Intimate, detached, A bit out there, Hard to read, EMOTIONALLY INTENSE, calm.

Avatar Kyoshi as a Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon: Harsh, Intense, Straight Foward, Stubborn, Courageous, Simple yet complex, as dogmatic as they are pragmatic, Intolerant to certain aspects of life that conflict with their own personal values, Unchanging, rigid yet beautifully open, Literal personality type, Grounded, Rich emotional life, loving and tender, very open to change despite their sometimes foot in the ground nature. never regrets any of their actions because they live their life honest and true to their own doctrine. 

Avatar Wan as a Pisces sun, Libra Moon: Immature, Good natured,Naive, Projections, Very connected to the world and nature as a whole, Immensely open to learning, soft hearted, remorseful nature, bubbly, can see both sides of everything, impressionable, helpful, energetic, courageous, steadfast and grounded, spacey and slightly air headed personality, needs direction but often finds it later in life, the go with the flow type.

Kya as a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon: Protective, Hilarious and familiar, Gets along with anyone, Cautious and very intuitive, Perceiving, Quick emotional reactions, emotionally mature, Understanding, amazing listener, soft and mothering, Intense warrior energy for men and women, swift reactions, personal, prefers solitude, sexually fluid and emotionally paradoxical, confronts their emotional battles.

Kuvira as a Capricorn Sun, Aries Moon: Intimidating, Strong aura, disciplined, Hard to please, incredibly tense, rigid, hot, erotic but also sexually reserved, direct and bossy, indulgent, lacking in self awareness, confident, lacking in finesse, blunt and emotionally impulsive, reactive personality type, Doesn’t like to wait, approaches everything with intensity.

Zaheer as a Cancer Sun, Aries Moon: Emotive, Passionate, Duality of irresponsible vs responsible, Caring, Dark, Emotionally Hard to read and emotionally turbulent, Secretly spiteful,Hides the true feelings, Very personal approach to life, philosopher, sanctimonious, Passive yet Aggressive, Can be the aggressor but can also play the role of a pacifist, Intuitive, Protective and controlling, secretive and emotionally distant, emotionally open.

Amon As a Virgo Sun, Aries Moon: Brooding, persistent, Travels the road of most resistance, Incredible level of patience, dutiful, sensual, plotting, emotionally honest, communicative, too perceptive, an advent study of peoples motives and desires, Places people in situations involving “no real stakes.” prefers to hide their true motives unless absolutely necessary, Direct and fault finding in others. insanely intelligent, A leader.

Unalaq As a Pisces Sun, Aries Moon: Combative, Argumentative, Severe, Very aware of who they are and what they want, Not a people pleaser, Sophisticated, an entrepreneur, A businessman/Businesswomen, Charismatic, intense, things go there way or no way at all, Spiritually aligned, easily swayed, emotionally independent but at times can fall for the wrong type of influences, emotionally alluring and mystifying, genuine and honest, not afraid of confrontation which at times can be dangerous. 

Note: This is a “VERY” general summerization of the characteristics of these sun and moon combos. they do not take into account the whole natal chart nor aspects that can easily alter the expression of these placements. Please don’t read to deep into any of these descriptions as they are very general. that being said enjoy.

#mine #sun #Moon #avatar legend of korra #avatar the last airbender

[animebw]

Short Reflection: Gridman Universe

In some respects, Gridman Universe was nothing like the movie I expected it to be. I came in prepared for a multiversal mashup or Trigger's series of high-concept sentai reimaginings, and that's definitely what I got. But I also got something a lot weirder and wilder, a movie that in many ways is trying to be a definitive statement on the nature of Gridman itself. It's a film deeply obsessed with its own concept and place in the world, not simply as a means of reference-pandering for longtime sentai fans but as an examination of what it even means to exist as a story like this to exist and have meaning and let meaning be taken from it that may not even be there. And yet at the same time, it's also a big goofy crossover that feels like playing with all the toys in your toybox at once without caring much about making it all make sense because isn't the point of having fun to just, you know, have fun?

Which seems only fitting. Gridman and Dynazenon have been one of the most conceptually bizarre undertakings in Trigger's history, marrying the Saturday morning cartoon spirit of Ultraman with more existential, metaphysical themes and an eclectic directing style that feels more like a proper successor to Evangelion than anything else besides the Rebuilds. It's simultaneously pretentiously highbrow and shamelessly lowbrow, while also being just kind of unapologetically normiecore somewhere in the middle with how it depicts the awkward mundanity of normal life juxtaposed with mecha-on-kaiju action and universe-reshaping cosmic high concepts. It's a bizarre concoction that by all rights shouldn't work, and yet it does? Somehow, director Akira Amemiya has figured out how to make all these disparate tones sing together in harmony, and the result has been one of anime's most singular voices in the modern era. And this movie is just that on the biggest scale imaginable, throwing all restrictions to the wind and seeing just how far it can push this absurd, experimental niche it's carved for itself.

At least on paper, the plot is simple. Gridman protagonist Yuta Hibiki is working up the courage to ask out his crush Rikka Takarada, but that's all thrown into chaos when kaiju once again start appearing in his world. It soon becomes clear that some unknown threat is starting to merge universes together, leading to the cast of Dynazenon crashing into Gridman's world and kaiju going on the rampage. So the two groups must put their giant robots together- both metaphorically and literally- to face down the new threat and put the universe back in order. It's an extremely by-the-numbers setup for a crossover movie... at least until we get into the back half and reveal the nature of what's actually happening. And then things get so high-concept and reality bending that it's honestly kind of funny. I won't spoil the reveal of what's actually going on cause it's worth discovering yourself, but suffice to say, not only does it answer a lot of long-standing questions about the nature of this world in the trippiest way possible, it also sets up Gridman Universe as an answer to the question of its own existence.

See, in many ways, the mismatch at the heart of Gridman's aesthetics is the entire thematic point it's trying to make. Why redo a simple, straightforward sentai show as something so weighty and almost intellectual in its presentation? Why attach so much existentialism and cinematic complexity to something that's still, at heart, about punching big monsters in the face? Or, more broadly, why do we, as people, seek to draw meaning from art, even art as simple as giant robots fighting Godzilla? These questions may have been floating in the background of both TV shows, but they are the driving force of Gridman Universe. There are multiple times when characters will comment on the nature of Gridman, as a character, as a concept, as an idea, as an active force with a tangible effect on the world. The ultimate reveal of what's going on entirely rests on pushing this question to its logical extreme. It's simultaneously a celebration, interrogation, and deconstruction of the lizard-brain desire for popcorn entertainment and our ability to read deeper meanings where they may not actually exist, and whether or not it matters what a piece of art "intended" as long as you found something powerful in it.

There are so many ways a metatextual metaphor this tangled and self-fellating should have fallen apart. And yet, once again, by some magic, it all makes sense. Yes, the movie seems to say, Gridman is all these things. It's absurd rock-em sock-em action that speaks to your inner child, and it's weird-ass mind-bending sci-fi, and it's genuinely grounded naturalism that perfectly captures that particular teenage mindset of half-sleeping your way through life as you figure your shit out trying to put the world's bigger, more existential questions out of mind because hay, kaiju or not, you've still got college exams to worry about, right? It's all of these things at once, and it has a right to be all of these things at once, and you have the right to find power in them no matter how silly it may seem on the outside. And it justifies it all by once again just doing it all really, really fucking well. It's a bizarre, purposefully overthought stream of consciousness that's all about the importance of letting ourselves overthink the stories we love, putting our own meaning into them and forging our own relationship with them to better understand ourselves as individuals and a collective. It's an argument for art as an active conversation, even with something as simple and silly as this.

And yet, there's a problem.

See, while this movie is billed as a Gridman x Dynazenon crossover, it's really more of a Gridman movie. The title Gridman Universe is not an accident: this movie is centered on Gridman and its cast of characters first and foremost, with the Dynazenon crew mostly playing backup and hanging around for some character banter. Yomogi, Yume, Gauma, and all the rest are bit players meant to spice of a narrative that's all about Hibiki and his desire to go steady with Rikka. And unfortunately, this ends up confirming something I've believed ever since this series started:

The main cast of Gridamn is the single most boring aspect of this entire Gridman experiment.

Look, I'm sorry, but Hibiki sucks. He's an utter void of character and personality, as blank a blank slate as you can possibly get. Even your average isekai potato-kun tends to come off as smug and self-satisfied thanks to the power fantasy that guides the author's writing process, and while that's definitely obnoxious, it's at least something. But Hibiki's entire existence in both the show and movie is little more than taking in information, making bland observations, and spouting generic hero motivations whenever it's time for an action scene to happen. And you could maybe justify that in the show because he's technically a dormant passenger in his own body for most of that, but now that he's back to normal in the movie, it's painfully clear that the central figure around which this entire franchise revolves is little more than featureless white noise.

And that only becomes clearer when contrasted against the Dynazenon crew. I had my issues with Dynazenon- much weaker villains, no real standout moments- but the reason I ultimately prefer it to Gridman is because everyone in its cast is full of life and personality. They're all still awkward, mumblecore teenagers for the most part, but they're believably awkward, mumblecore teenagers who come by their personalities with purpose and meaning. So you've got Hibiki and his pals bumming around not being much of anything while the script insists on putting all the focus on them, while you've got this much more interesting crew running circles around them in basically every interaction they have. Seriously, every second Yomogi is on screen is basically walking proof of how to write a "generic" protagonist well in contrast to Hibiki's extreme nothingburger of an existence. Yes, Akane Shinjou was a spectacular character, but it's clear that Gridman put all its writing chops into her and no one else, but Dynazenon spread it out evenly. And now that she's gone, there's nothing left to distract from how much the people at the core of this narrative just don't measure up to their much more interesting backup singers.

And that's not even going into the "romance" that's supposed to be the emotional center of this whole affair. Hibiki and Rikka's love story is one of the most generic "boy pines after girl until she falls for him" plots I've seen in a long time. The fact it's merely boring instead of actively painful is wholly thanks to how damn good both their voice actors are at selling the scenes between them; whatever chemistry these two have is wholly thanks to how good Yuuya Hirose and Yume Miyamoto are at playing believably low-key teenagers navigating the liminal space of a changing relationship. But the writing just gives them nothing to play off of, and it never feels like anything more than a one-sided crush on Hibiki's end, which makes Rikka's eventual reciprocation feel wholly unjustified. Which only stands out more in contrast with Yomogi and Yume's utterly natural couple dynamic and- hilariously- Rikka's own unresolved feelings for Akane. Yes, the most blatant queerbait this side of Kumirei makes another brief appearance in this movie, and the brief twenty seconds it takes up have more believable chemistry, intimacy, and yearning to be together than the entire rest of the movie trying to sell you on the watered-down heterosexual alternative. Talk about an unforced error.

Ultimately, Gridman Universe is at its best when it embraces the philosophy at its core. As a showcase of everything worthwhile about this franchise- the believable teenage moodiness, the overturned-toybox action sensibilities, the willingness to go trippy and weird and artistically ambitious- it's as good as this franchise has even been. As an argument for being such a bizarre mishmash in the first place, it's the stuff of high concept metafictional wet dreams. But if it wanted to be a true masterpiece, it needed to tie all those wonderful elements to a central narrative and a main protagonist that were actually worth a damn. Yes, we can find meaning in even the silliest of stories, but we can just as easily find even the most ambitious experiments lacking. And until Gridman figures out how to make its main cast even half as interesting as their spinoff bretheren, then this story's ability to reach me will always remain a half-measure. For that, I give Gridman Universe a score of:

6.5/10

Man, it feels good to be home again. Hopefully I'll find the energy to start watching more anime now that I'm on vacation. Fingers crossed!

#anime #tabw #the anime binge watcher #ssss.gridman #ssss.dynazenon #gridman universe

[bwhitex]

Dating Authentically: Embracing Yourself Without Apologies

In the world of modern dating, we are often confronted with a myriad of "dos and don'ts" that can make navigating romantic relationships feel like walking through a minefield. From playing hard to get, to presenting a polished version of ourselves on social media, the pressure to conform to societal standards of attractiveness and desirability is immense. But what if the key to successful dating isn't about moulding ourselves into a 'perfect' partner but rather, about embracing our true selves, flaws and all? In this blog, we'll delve into why being authentic is crucial in dating and how psychological principles support this approach.

The Psychology of Authenticity

Carl Rogers, a pioneer of humanistic psychology, taught us about the importance of being genuine. He argued that for personal growth, we must have an environment that provides us with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy (being listened to and understood). When these conditions are present, individuals can develop a greater capacity to accept themselves and understand their feelings, which is a cornerstone of meaningful relationships.

In dating, this means showing up as our true selves. The façade of being who we think our date wants us to be can only lead to relationships built on shaky foundations. It's like constructing a building on sand—eventually, the truth will come out, and things may crumble.

Self-Compassion: Your Dating Superpower

Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion also provides insight into dating authentically. By treating ourselves with kindness, acknowledging our common humanity, and being mindful of our imperfections, we set the stage for healthier and more honest relationships. Dating with self-compassion means we don't beat ourselves up after a date that didn't go well or obsess over our faults.

When we date with self-compassion, we're less likely to tolerate bad behavior from others because we know we deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. We also apologize less for being ourselves—whether that means owning our quirky laugh or not hiding our love for geeky hobbies.

The Detriment of the Apology

In many dating scenarios, there's an underlying pressure to apologize for our preferences, opinions, and even our personality traits. This is where we need to draw a line. Apologizing for being late to a date is considerate, but apologizing for your taste in music, your career choice, or your sense of humor is unnecessary and counterproductive. It undermines your self-worth and sends a message that you're not confident in who you are.

The truth is, a partner that's truly compatible with you will appreciate your idiosyncrasies and the unique blend of traits that make you, you. They won't want your apologies; they'll want your authenticity.

Embracing Vulnerability

Vulnerability is another concept that's crucial in dating. Dr. Brené Brown's research has shown us that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a profound strength. When we allow ourselves to be seen, truly seen, we open the door to real connection.

In the context of dating, this means having the courage to express our feelings, desires, and fears. It's about being honest about what we're looking for in a relationship, whether it's something casual or a life-long partnership. It's about having the difficult conversations about values, boundaries, and needs.

Conclusion: The Unapologetic Path to Love

The path to love should not be paved with apologies for our very essence. While compromise is a necessary part of any relationship, it should never involve compromising on being yourself. As we navigate the dating world, let's remember the words of Carl Rogers and the importance of being in an environment that allows us to be our true selves.

So, go on that date. Be unapologetically you. Laugh too loudly, share your love for obscure indie films, and talk about your dreams and passions. The right person will adore you for it, and you'll be building a relationship on the solid ground of authenticity.

Remember, in the grand scheme of your love story, the most important person to fall in love with first is you. When you do that, you won't feel the need to apologize for being who you are—and that's when you'll attract someone who loves you for you.

[amanihiphop]

Amani Drops New Experimental Hip-Hop EP: "CAPITAL"

Introduction

Today, August 25th, 2023 marks the unveiling of Amani’s much-anticipated EP, “CAPITAL.” With a unique blend of experimental sounds and profound storytelling, this EP promises to redefine your perception of hip-hop. Let’s dive into the tracks that make up this audacious musical journey — WAKEUP, GIMMEMYMFGRAMMY, and DESIGNATEDVILLAIN — and explore the distinctive essence that each brings to “CAPITAL.”

🟢 Listen on Spotify

🎧 Listen on Apple Music

WAKEUP: Awakening the Senses

The EP kicks off with “WAKEUP,” a track that serves as both an invitation and a proclamation. Amani’s lyrical prowess shines as he intertwines intricate wordplay with an infectious beat. Through its captivating verses and experimental production, “WAKEUP” awakens your senses and sets the tone for the sonic adventure that lies ahead in “CAPITAL.”

GIMMEMYMFGRAMMY: The Pursuit of Excellence

In “GIMMEMYMFGRAMMY,” Amani’s unapologetic confidence takes center stage. The track’s dynamic energy is a testament to his dedication and ambition within the music industry. With verses that exude self-assuredness and a chorus that demands attention, “GIMMEMYMFGRAMMY” encapsulates Amani’s determination to stand out and claim his place in the spotlight.

DESIGNATEDVILLAIN: Unveiling Complexity

“DESIGNATEDVILLAIN” delves into the complexities of identity and perception. Amani’s thought-provoking lyrics explore themes of duality and the multifaceted nature of human experience. The track’s evocative melodies and intricate production create a captivating atmosphere that draws you into Amani’s world, where the lines between hero and villain blur.

A Symphony of Innovation and Authenticity

As you journey through “WAKEUP,” “GIMMEMYMFGRAMMY,” and “DESIGNATEDVILLAIN,” you’ll witness Amani’s commitment to innovation and authenticity. Each track offers a unique glimpse into his creative mind, and collectively, they form the heartbeat of “CAPITAL.” This EP is a testament to Amani’s willingness to defy conventions, explore uncharted territories, and present his audience with a sonic experience that resonates on multiple levels.

Conclusion

“CAPITAL” is not just an EP; it’s an artistic manifesto. Through tracks like “WAKEUP,” “GIMMEMYMFGRAMMY,” and “DESIGNATEDVILLAIN,” Amani challenges the status quo, blurs genre boundaries, and invites listeners to join him on an immersive musical journey. As you listen, allow yourself to be enveloped by the intricate layers of sound, the emotive storytelling, and the unwavering passion that define Amani’s artistry. “CAPITAL” is a testament to his growth, innovation, and determination to leave an indelible mark on the world of music.

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🎧 Listen on Apple Music

#new music #new music friday #new album #new EP #JPEGMAFIA #MF DOOM #experimental music #experimental #experimental hiphop #hiphop #rap #rapper #alternative hiphop #jpegmafia #mf doom #music #art #amani #madlib #beats #soundcloud #rap music

[norfkid]

ok i’m gonna put this here, but be aware that i’m not very good at “reviewing” films or offering any great analysis about them. i watched Harakiri (1962) last night and just wanted to write down some of my thoughts about it. i was intimidated to at first, i heard so many great things about it and naturally that put me off — in this case, it wasn't because i thought people were being hyperbolic and exaggerating, but because i’m aware it’s widely known, highly praised, and culturally significant, and not to sound pretentious? but i wanted to be able to sit down and really pay attention.

the story as a whole is told non-linearly, through the narration and flashbacks of an aged samurai, Hanshirō Tsugumo, as he reaccounts memories of his family and poverty. and though the story is constructed so carefully, and weaves seamlessly with the events of the present and reminiscing of the past, there's a deliberately slow pace to the film. there's so much room for silence between characters and dialogue and scenes, even during the fights. you're forced to really watch, and observe, and listen. and personally i think it's so interesting how the camera remains static for long durations, and uses such interesting framing and composition to place people within a scene.

the first 15-20 minutes are brutal, depicting a transgression of violence (an unfairly forced ritual suicide), and even without excessive blood, gore, or dramatisation, it made me so uncomfortable to watch. it immediately set the tone for the rest of the film, it's confrontational.

i was also surprised at how compassionate the film is. i’m still quite new to watching foreign black and white films, but i was impressed by how Shinobu Hashimoto (the screenplay writer) and Masaki Kobayashi (the director) were able to touch on something like seppuku with sensitivity and respect for the complex culture and politics surrounding it, while also remaining unapologetic about the questions and provocations it makes.

it’s a film as brilliant and moving as people say it is, i really believe that. it’s a profound exploration of loyalty and honour to the samurai code, and provokes themes of humanity, mortality, and hypocrisy within the attitudes of people who uphold that code. it invites you to think about ideals and traditions, and to think about whether living honorably at the cost of integrity is a truly honourable virtue at all.

and despite the sense of hopelessness conveyed during the ending (the unfortunate nature of people to never change despite history… the inevitability of it all…), personally felt there was a catharsis to the resolution. i don’t make a habit of rewatching films so soon, so think i should be allowed to watch something once and say it’s my favourite (or at least up there in my top whatever), but Harakiri is probably one i will need to rewatch soon.

#🛷 #harakiri (1962) #forcing myself not to delete this post…yet

[taylortruther]

i frequently think about how people who discredit taylor's creative process, or her emotional growth, seem to willfully misunderstand writing and creating art in general.

often, writers (of any kind) aren't writing autobiographically. but an artist creates in order to share their perspective of the world, their personal philosophies, their insights on life. how can you write about any of those things, without mentioning your own experiences? writing is a deeply personal art.

take one of my favorite authors, curtis sittenfeld. she's actually a wonderfully apt comparison for how taylor writes. some quick background: curtis is currently 47, grew up in ohio, attended an extremely selective and elite boarding school in massachusetts throughout high school.

prep ~era~

her first novel was called prep, about a young girl who grew up in indiana and attended an elite private school in boston. clearly drawn from her personal history, but it's fiction. the ny times even wrote about this very thing.

the man of my dreams era

then, at age 29-30, curtis wrote the man of my dreams, a coming-of-age-esque novel about a miserable young woman who, at 29-30 reflects on her life, her mundane misery, and whether she'll ever find love. it is a book of biting, clever internal dialogue, but the main character is deeply unlikable. on purpose.

to the blog earthgoat, sittenfeld explains her own fascinating with the excruciatingly awkward minute details of life--something that contributes to her extremely detailed, lively writing. she's intensely curious to the awkward, emotional parts of the human experience, especially as it pertains to young women.

sound familiar? almost like that experience of going from girlhood to adulthood is a huge well of inspiration, and exciting to revisit:

eligible era

in 2016, sittenfeld wrote eligible, a modern re-telling of pride & prejudice. she includes bits of modern choice feminism, reality tv, how we hide our true identities behind our phones... this wasn't a story about her life or her experiences, and yet!!!

she tells vanity fair that she relates or enjoys the grumpy, unapologetic mary, and that loves writing grumpy characters. t's a theme we see throughout her work (see above and below.)

and, again, her personal history comes into play. the book is set in cincinnati. this reminds me a bit of taylor's revisiting of nashville and pennsylvania throughout folkmore (seven, 'tis the damn season). it's fun to play around with your own history, beliefs, opinions, etc. in art. you draw inspiration from it!

you think it, i'll say it era

in 2019, sittenfeld wrote you think it, i'll say it, a collection of 10 short stories. like prep and the man of my dreams, the characters are very relatable--painfully so, at times. boarding schools and feminism and politics and the right to choose one's own misery (or happiness) are present. as a reader, you feel like you get a clear sense of sittenfeld's own personality and politics by reading, even though the characters are quite different. she excellently describes feelings of insecurity, shame, and self-aware hypocrisy (whether it's the liberal woman sleeping with a trump-supporter she hates, or the woman who has to confront her high school bully, who now wants to be her friend.)

town & country interviewed her about her background and inspirations. she touches on how age, maturity, and even politics can change how you reflect on your memories... similar to how taylor has described her relationship with joe, and her relationship with a post-trump united states, in songs like miss americana & the heartbreak prince (wanting to run away to safety with joe), or even dbatc (comparing their love to a lawless country.)

she mentions to the lifted brow that writing is therapeutic (but not a replacement for therapy), but she's still creating fiction... or at least a fictionalized account of something that happened.

she also says in that interview that she's not interesting enough to warrant a book or film--and that reminded me very much of taylor's desire to stay out of the public eye. at one point, her life felt huge and unmanageable because she was the it girl. and now, she ran away from it all to save herself and finds comfort in that (the lakes, ciwyw, mirrorball.)

rodham era

sittenfeld wrote a fictionalized "alternative universe" novel about hillary clinton, called rodham, in 2020. basically, it follows what sittenfeld imagines what hillary's life could've been, had she never married bill.

this isn't about sittenfeld at all! it's about another real person, and exploring her feminism and her politics and her life--and what that means for all women--through a fictionalized version of her.

even so, some of sittenfeld's personal life does sneak in. again, we've got the politics, the feminism, the classism of ivy league boarding school types. and she even includes anecdotes from her personal life in the novel about fictional hillary clinton! she shares an example in her interview with vox:

it's impossible for a writer to separate themselves from their art. you write what you know, even if the subject is something foreign to you. you find a way to take interest or relate to the material, because what's a novel or a song if not a story about a universal human experience?

#curtis sittenfeld #mine #writing paragraphs about taylor swift

[mon-chert]

with the swarm of goncharov posting proclaiming the profoundly subtextual relationships of the main four, ive found the results of a lot of new viewers watching the movie for the first time interesting, seeing as there is some disappointment that it is not as outright as older viewers have described, and the posts ive seen on the topic believe they were misled with users reading too far into feelings which are not present there (which, id argue against). though, ive realized that its a product of misunderstanding both from the viewpoint of another culture, and another time; or even just a clear lack of context of an awfully america-centeric perspective on a movie which is interwoven with two entirely contrasting cultures.

i think the biggest point on which people get hung up on is the so called "pet names" between goncharov and andrey; with the two constantly referring to each other as "my dear" throughout the entire movie. which is really interesting, since to any foreign viewers this is considered an undeniably romantic gesture, but to someone who belongs to the same cultural background as them (me having double the slavic heritage), it is perceived in a completely different way.

in russia (or any russian-speaking countries), its typical for men to use [мой] дорогой as a greeting, or when referring to each other in general, and it is most often used with male friends whom you are close with. the direct translation is "my rich (adj.)" or, in words that can be used towards a person "my treasured," but personally i find that most accurate way to translate this—by making it sound more natural within the english language without losing its sentiment—is by using "my dear." the thing is is that english speakers find this phrase inherently romantic, something only used between lovers, which explains the conflicting opinions on the true relationship between the two—both of whom have slavic backgrounds, and as such would likely perceive their choice of words differently.

if the original movie was actually written in russian (though understandably not as italy and the italian culture is just as integral to the story), them calling each other that equivalent of "my dear" wouldn't have batted anyone's eye—any more than it does when my 60-something soviet dad calls his equally aged, equally soviet friends and business partners the same thing.

this isnt to dampen anyones fun, however, if anything i think it adds a lot of layers to goncharovs and andrey's relationship—just in ways that may not be obvious to the common viewer. whats peculiar to me, is that most translations of originally russian movies will try to avoid romantic connotations by simply latinizing it as dorogoi, or alternatively using english variants that sound more casual. goncharov is not originally russian, which makes it more likely that matteo's choice of words for the characters was done tactfully and tastefully, and bids reference to how stark that cultural contrast is when it comes to relationships between men in general. and, if anything, i think the way andrey and goncharov would perceive their choice of words as stated earlier, is almost what makes their use of it playful

it may have changed over time and be different nowadays, but ive found that this is very evident when you see period films set in slavic settings; men will hold a much stronger solidarity with each other, and arent so afraid to show emotion and build deeper bonds within their friendship. it took some time for the concept of toxic masculinity (in the most literal sense) to reach this side of the world, and for a while such affection wasn't nearly as taboo as it is now. and what i feel matteo was trying to paint with those little details in their dialogue, is something that mixes this unapologetically sincere bond between goncharov and andrey, together with how it would be perceived by foreign parties, in a way that complements both.

but even in this context, the names do not erase any previous sentiments which the two have held. instead they evoke a sense of passion and intimacy which neither of them seldom hold with anyone else, at least not in the same way—whether it is romantic or not, is up to the viewer, but what they have in an undeniable infatuation.

one scene where the names are used within a context which accents those undertones, is right before andrey pulls out the gun—and more specifically, when goncharov takes his glove. this really was one of the details which made me admire the amount of themes which quietly interlaced the smallest parts of the movie. andrey extends his hand to goncharov for him to take his glove off in his stead, a subtle and rather unremarkable act, and goncharov complies. a gauntlet thrown, and picked up by the rival; a traditional challenge to a duel. yet here, in the form of a mutual understanding. andrey does not throw the glove to goncharov, he offers it to him—and with it offers the choice to accept his unspoken words. goncharov takes the glove, slipping it off of andrey's hand with a purposeful slowness, and not a moment is spent where their eyes stray away from each other. goncharov knows, he had long since known, and andrey knows as well. the gun which andrey points at him only moments later with the same hand goncharov just held clasped is just something expected. goncharovs lack of shock is not a sign of resignation, but rather an embrace. seconds speak volumes within an unorthodox, gentle metaphor; all packed in a single tender gesture.

i could go on about the intricacies of how cultural misunderstandings are an integral theme of the movie, seeing as its focused specifically on the relationship between two juxtaposed cultures; or how duels are illegal in europe and the reference to one is just one more implication among severeal about the danger of their passion—but thats an essay for another day. if anything, im very curious on how someone with an equally insightful gaze of the culture of italy would be able to interpret characters interactions

(and sorry if this is incomprehensible, i wrote it up after one delirious nap and had to get my thoughts down)

#long post #goncharov #goncharov 1973 #unreality