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#ive gotta say i miss it tho
acidthecorvid · 5 months
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i think being in the danganronpa fandom at the ripe age of twelve did irreversible damage to my brain chemistry
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b4kuch1n · 6 months
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haha! bit ill
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"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"
#tw suicide#i wish i was joking#i am just so so tired of keeping myself alive! can't someone else do it for a change? or better yet kill me??#said something to the emergency room psych#she queried it and i confirmed i had said precisely what i intended#she blinked and said 'i usually hear that from jaded forty year olds not twenty year olds'#i won't share what because it was a highly specific explanation of precisely how i might see myself suiciding or how/whether i thought i#could. she asked me and i answered. apparently she wasn't expecting that level of detail and confidence#is it funny to anyone else that i always struggle with confidence but i can confidently tell her specifics about suicide thoughts?#this is reminding me of the fifteen year old yesterday i was conversing with and he randomly started listing all the suicide methods he#could think of and i was internally like you missed a dozen i can think of. didn't say that obvs#i don't know i am. tired. of everything. and i had a long and good conversation with an older woman from church last night (mother of the#boy. i have confided in her before she's great)#she's hte only person irl who now knows about the second suicide attempt (tho she doesn't know it was the second) and she was encouraging m#to see the psych and escalate care#but all day ive been regretting telling the psych or bro or anyone honestly#it would be so much EASIER to have said nothing and gone through with my plan#i wouldn't trust myself not to rn if i had access#i mean. i know multiple ways in this room i could kill myself. but i won't#there's a couple of specific methods that are most of the thoughts usually so they're the specific ones i gotta watch out for more if that#makes sense#ooh gosh im rambling i should shut up xD#personal#puddleglum hours
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bangcakes · 4 months
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
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boyghcst · 9 months
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it feels mean when u realise tht certain ppl just aren’t adding anything positive to ur life, n tht they just make u feel anxious, on edge, confused and under appreciated… but i feel like im starting to listen to my gut to whose presence makes me feel safe, heard, loved and appreciated
#i don’t rlly wanna be friends w ppl who make me feel needy and annoying and unloved#not saying tht i should rely on others to make me feel happy or whatever#but there are ppl in my life where i don’t feel this uncertainty and discomfort#one of the friends deeply hurt my feelings and I cut them out for a while and then we became ‘friends’ again#bc i did miss having them in my life and it was v intense#but i also feel like im not rlly interested in being close w them anymore#like tht hurt never went away#n now i don’t rlly feel like i rlly care abt them tbh#despite the fact we’re supposed to be friends#i think i lost respect and compassion for them lol i don’t view them the same way as i used to#and the other friend were not close to begin w they’re friends w the friend i fell out w#but they make me feel anxious and don’t seem interested in acc being friends w me#but message my friend tht i introduced to them a lot so idk#they kinda give fake energy tbh and i don’t rlly feel comfortable being around them#which is fine bc we don’t hang out anyway lmao#but sometimes they’ll pop up on stories ive posted#n i feel like i just gotta fake it#i cba communicating it bc it always leads to conflict#so im probs just gonna let it drift#i do feel like i have a habit of wanting to cut friends out tho#bc i feel 50/50 w ppl a lot#some ppl i feel a safe connection w#others leave me feeling confused and on edge#so i think my gut is tryna tell me tht im just not comfortable#and when i spoke to a therapist ages ago abt this they told me to listen to my gut and be wary of who I’m friends w#but bc i also have abandonment issues etc I never know whether I’m being too sensitive and my trauma is driving the wheel#or whether deep down this is how i feel#it’s hard to trust ur gut when ur traumatised bc it can be rlly wrong#journal
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kaoharu · 5 months
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got sad again sorry
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merry-the-cookie · 1 year
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If there’s a animator in the 5sosfam I would beg for them to animate your drawings
Imagine a 5SOS animated web series that would be so sick!!
👁👄👁 sweats in animation graduate who hasnt actually animated since 2020
thank you tho lmfaogjkajjf ty for saying my drawings look animated (in ur other ask i forgot to reply to sorry)!! 💖💖💖 thats the goal!! id love to work on something a little more elaborate at some point, but its so time consuming lol lmk if u find an animator 💀
and an animated 5sos webseries 🤔🤔🤔 it Would be sick @ 5sos what do u think, can u spare some budget 🤔 id love to see it tbh fjdjHDJS we got a preview with the podcast, pls hire me for the next one???
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cheswirls · 1 year
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oops this tablet is due back in 2 days
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rinskazuu · 1 year
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their voice lines about you, as their lover!
just my fav characters^^
INSPIRED BY @fatuismooches and their “harbingers’ voicelines about you.” they did so well, i loved it. y’all should go check it out!
xiao, itto, tighnari, ayato, ningguang, sara, yanfei, childe, diluc, zhongli, kaeya, beidou, cyno, & al haitham x gn!reader
implied that reader is an immortal/non mortal being in xiao & zhongli's.
cw: fluff. use of they/them pronouns. pet names: you’re mostly referred to as their “lover”, and “my darling” in 2 of them. some of them are slightly ooc, but i already put it in parentheses. i tried my best!
a/n: this is my very first post here, and im kinda nervous because even tho ive been writing for a long time, im still rlly insecure of my work. i removed a couple characters cus it got too long.. but if you guys like it, ill make a part two<3
XIAO
about [name]:
“hm? you want to know about [name]? well… there’s not much to say. what? i’m not blushing!”
chat: meals
“personally, the idea of human cuisine doesn’t delight me much. food isn’t necessary for an adepti but, i do enjoy [name]’s cooking quite a lot. they make the best almond tofu.”
chat: stress
xiao lets out a deep sigh, “[name] is too careless. and while they have such a big heart, they take too many dangerous commissions. on more than one occasion, i had to find them myself, just to see them injured. they claim they didn't call my name, because they don’t want to become a burden but, i… ah, never mind.”
chat: bonds
“hm… [name] and i have known each other for centuries. it really does make me happy seeing them and morax together. ah? he goes by zhongli now…?”
chat: flowers
“flowers? such a distraction... i pay no mind to them. but, i have heard from many mortals that, people in relationships do cherish such gifts. should i pick some for [name]?”
ITTO
about [name]:
“[name]?! you’ve met [name]? they’re so cool right? they’re my best bro, my everything, my one and only! tell me, has [name] said anything about me to you? they said they love me? oh! hm? my cheeks? THEY’RE NOT TURNING RED, it’s just the paint…”
chat: onikabuto
“yeah, i’m the best and number 1 at onikabuto fighting! i always win! well, except when i fight with [name]. somehow, they always win, i don’t know how! they never let me in on their secret too. one day, they will tell me.”
chat: jail
“[name] is great. they bail me out all the time. really, i’m so grateful to have them! they’re fit to be the leader of the arataki gang but, nobody can be the leader except me, arataki itto.”
chat: picnics
“[name] and i always go out for picnics, and then we have an onikabuto fight. even though they always win, i’m happy to be spending time with them. but, you gotta be careful, last time, i spilled some of the juice and [name] got a bit angry. huh? what do you mean i don’t seem like a picnic guy?”
chat: horns
“yeah these babies are painted! i usually paint them but sometimes, [name] helps me cover the spots i can’t. they’re so good at it too. is there anything they’re not good at?”
TIGHNARI
about [name]:
“you’ve met my wonderful lover, i see. yes, [name] often helps around gandharva ville. they do visit frequently, even though they reside in sumeru city.”
chat: sadness
tighnari sighs, “i do miss [name] a lot. i know they come often but, with them being busy working for the akademiya, it does get a little lonely without their presence during the night.”
chat: views
“hm, i’d say gandharva ville has some of the best views in all of sumeru! i take [name] to some of these places and, it lights a smile every time! a lot of beautiful flowers and mushrooms grow here. i do make sure to pick the non-poisonous ones though!”
chat: jealousy
“[name] has such a kind soul, all the forest rangers admire them. how could they not? i’ve never seen them do a bad thing in my entire life! though, it does get frustrating when they stare at them too long… i do admit, i get a little jealous.”
chat: petting
“ah? you want to pet my ears? well… i usually only allow [name] to pet me but, i’m sure they wouldn’t mind either. my tail? hah, now you’re going too far!”
AYATO
about [name]:
“hm? [name]? yes, that is the future head of the kamisato clan. ah, don’t tell them just yet but, i do plan on placing this lovely ring where it rightfully belongs.”
chat: family
“well, with only my sister left of our family, i do cherish her very much. [name] gets along with ayaka quite well. hm, speaking of which, they’re probably spending time together, at this hour.”
chat: work
“aside from being the head of the kamisato clan, my role as a commissioner does get in the way of a lot of things, including spending time with my lover. it’s such a shame. yet, they’re so patient with me. say, traveler, do you think i’m undeserving of [name]?”
chat: bubble tea
“haha, i am quite fond of bubble tea. i request for thoma to get it for me often. somehow, [name] always gets wind of it and steals a couple sips. they probably think they’re sneaky but, i know thoma is always telling them. they’re adorable so, i suppose i can’t be complaining.”
chat: safety
“during the vision hunt decree, [name] was really busy working and it worried me to death. i barely saw them and, unfortunately, i had to ask their close friend, kujou sara. both her and i share concerns over them so, she helped me even though, she was a little reluctant.”
NINGGUANG
about [name]:
“apologies, traveler, i’m a little busy right now. [name]? ah, my lover. well, i suppose i can sit down and have a chat about them for a bit.”
chat: danger
“although i’ve had a couple discussions with the adventure guild about [name]’s dangerous commissions, nothing seems to stop them. of course, they’re very passionate about helping others but, i’m worried they’ll put themselves in danger and i won’t be there to save them. traveler, maybe you can talk to them?”
chat: lunch
“hm yes, [name] and i go out to liuli pavilion a lot. i hear many people of liyue mutter about how jealous they are of them, how easy it is gain my attention and time. though, that does strike up my worry about their safety…”
chat: shopping
“although my job, as the protector of liyue, tends to get me busy, you might find it shocking that i do spend a lot of my time with my lover. we go shopping every week. not that i’d ever let you see but, my closet is filled with clothes that match theirs.”
weather: rain
“agh, the rain is such a bother. on the other hand, [name] is fond of the rain, they often venture during this weather. although i despise it, i suppose i can tolerate it for them. will you be a dear and fetch me an umbrella?"
SARA
about [name]:
"so, you want to know about [name]? i hope for your sake, that you don't have any malicious intentions, but other than that, i'll be happy to talk about them."
chat: loyalty
"yes, i am rather extremely loyal to the shogun. [name]? i assure you that this topic doesn't affect our relationship. despite the fact that i'm not shy to talk about it, i'd rather keep our affairs private."
chat: knitting (ooc? hc)
"huh? knitting... so, [name] told you about that. well, i suppose i can tell you, i do enjoy the simple hobby with them. it tends to release a lot of stress. although, i'm not sure why they spoke about it..."
weather: thunder
"the lightning and thunder is a sign of the shogun's will. i do often announce my loyalty to the shogun but, more times than none, i get aggravated by it. the only other thing that allows me to tolerate it is [name]. they love to huddle up to me and i find it adorable, it really takes my mind off the weather. don't tell them... or you might have to start sleeping with one eye open."
chat: onigiri
"as a warrior in inazuma, it's hard to carry heavy foods with me when i am not home, which is why i ask [name] to make me onigiri. they make it so well, it's packed with flavor and it's easy to carry. i always miss their specialty dishes though."
YANFEI
about [name]:
"have you met [name] yet? you have! hm, the expression on your face tells me the meeting with them was delightful. i'll tell you, being a legal adviser is not easy but seeing their bright face every time i come home, makes it a ton easier. they make me forget about all the civil cases."
chat: comfort
"sometimes, i think i'm good at hiding my facial expressions but the moment i come home and see [name], they know exactly how my day went, or more so what type of day i had. they're exceedingly perceptive and, having a lover like them makes my life a whole lot worthwhile."
chat: late night work
"like i said, being a legal adviser isn't necessarily easy, especially when you have a big case. i spend a lot of nights reading into boring cases, like that will i've recently encountered, however, [name] tends to bring me tea and sit in my home office to comfort me. it often distracts me but, i don't mind."
chat: cooking
"i'm sure i've mentioned how much i love tofu, right? well, [name] makes it ten times better. they spoil me too much, often rewarding me with tofu. i can't cook the way they can. archons, i wonder what i did to deserve such a lover like them."
chat: legal knowledge
"though it may come off as a shock, [name] knew quite a lot about laws before i met them. it wasn't until we got into a relationship, did i know about that. you bet i fell even more in love with them."
CHILDE
about [name]:
"good evening comrade! ah, what am i doing? picking flowers for my darling of course. i see, so you have met [name]. haha, they are truly wonderful aren't they? the more deserving they are of my time to be picking glaze lilies for them then, huh?"
weather: snow
"are you shivering, comrade? this weather is nothing compared to snezhnaya! you really remind of [name]. when i brought them to dragonspine, they were sniffling and whatnot. scared me half to death when a hue of blue took over their face, which is what convinced me to halt my vacation to snezhnaya with them."
chat: sparring
"everything in this world pales in comparison to the thrill of sparring. well, aside from spending time with my lover, of course. speaking of which; they're truly strong. [name] has beaten me every time we've sparred throughout our entire relationship, and they think i'm going easy on them but truth is, i really struggle against them..."
chat: spending
"[name] often scolds me for pampering them with expensive gifts but, i see it as a harmless gesture. of course i'm going to spoil my darling, how could i not?! ah, don't tell them about this one. do you think they'll like it? should i get another ring? i am getting sweaty thinking about their reaction. hm, thank you for the reassurance, comrade."
chat: family
"apart from teucer, [name] hasn't met any of my family yet. i'm fully convinced they'll love them though. they get along really well with teucer, he's even went on to call them an older sibling. it makes my heart swell. nothing brings me more joy than seeing my family and lover getting along."
DILUC
about [name]:
"[name]? of course i've met them, they are my lover after all. so you've heard...? they're a wonderful, kind, and passionate soul. what truly delayed our love was that they're a knight of favonius, a captain no less. but, i've grown to love that part of them as well."
chat: job (slightly ooc?)
"[name] looks wonderful under the dim light of angel's share, don't you think? even though we've been in a relationship for a long time, i will never get used to the way they're always so beautiful. ah, pardon me, i'm being unprofessional."
chat: brother
"tch, kaeya can be quite a bother, honestly. but, [name] always encourages me to reconcile with him. i'm not sure what there is to reconcile... though, i understand they do have only pure intentions."
weather: breeze
"usually, i pay no mind to the weather but, as of late, [name] has taken a keen interest in taking me out to cider lake during the night. it's often windy, sometimes a light breeze will cross us. like usual, they look wonderful under the night's light."
chat: art
"i'm not one to be into art but, it's one of [name]'s hobbies. they spend quite a lot of time indulging in this. everything they've made has been, how do i say this... a masterpiece."
ZHONGLI
about [name]:
"i'm not too understanding of human emotions but, one thing i've grown to recognize is my love for [name]. if you haven't met them, i'd be more than happy to introduce them to you. oh? so, you already have. enlighten me on what you think of them."
chat: gifts
"yet again, i've never quite understood the concept of this human tradition; gifting. [name] has informed me on it and i'd like to get them a present too. what do you think, traveler? something sentimental would suffice."
chat: familial bonds (based off hc, might be a little ooc)
"throughout the millennia i've lived, death has swept past me time and time again. aside from [name], that i met a couple hundred years ago, i've gotten a little attached to xiao, which in turn caused me to keep him closer than i intended. no matter, it fills me with joy to watch xiao open up to someone beside me. [name] tends to have that effect."
chat: tea
"tea is arguably one of the only human invented drinks i can tolerate. it's far better than wine. hm, speaking of which, i often send packages of tea i've acquired to [name]. they seem to love it so, i'd be more than delighted to grace a smile on their lovely face."
chat: painting
"quite like the art of tea, painting is... calming. [name] has been painting for centuries and yet, they have not grown bored of it. i find it astonishing, the way they're easily inspired by the changes of liyue. hm, i do enjoy watching them. sometimes, they would ask me to help them, and who am i to say no to my lover?"
KAEYA
about [name]:
"you're surprised i have a lover? haha, well a lot of people fall for my charm, and it's no different for [name]. though, i was also a little shocked, that somebody could have me wrapped around their finger like they do."
chat: drinking
"often times than not, [name] has dragged me home from angel's share, quite literally. yet, they haven't grown tired of me. i suppose i should stop, for their sake."
chat: intimacy
"[name] and i both work long hours, and even though we pass by each other a lot in the halls of the knights of favonius headquarters, i do miss their touch. recently, [name] has suggested late night dates. that's when we started going out to cider lake to go swimming. the water's cold but, it's nothing either of us can't handle."
chat: secrets
"you want to know my secrets? haha, if i told you then, they wouldn't be secrets anymore, would they? [name]...? well, it's best they don't know about my secrets... for their safety of course."
chat: spare time
"what i do in my free time...? well, i spend it with [name] of course! life would be dull without their presence. i'm often busy, and i drink a lot but, without them, i'd be nothing but a shell of a man. i have [name] to thank for making me a happy person."
BEIDOU
about [name]:
"what do you want to know about [name]? i'm the official [name] guide! they easily make my life like a boat on calm waters. though, i'm always adventuring on the sea, and they're associated with the qixing, we always make time for each other."
chat: souvenirs
"am i that easy to read? well, anyone with the right mind would bring back gifts for their lover, especially if their lover is [name]. they've told me about how much they enjoy the portrait i ordered to be painted for us, even though it's not a souvenir."
chat: sailing
"of course, [name] has been on my boat! it took a lot of convincing and arguing with ningguang to allow her subordinate to take a couple days off... i'd love to take them sailing again one day, but, i suppose i'll have to wait a while before that opportunity comes by again."
chat: occupation
"being a pirate did not make it any less intriguing for [name] to start a relationship with me. initially, it was platonic but, during my time on the sea, i began really feeling the absence of their voice and touch. that's when i really understood my feelings."
chat: drinking
"regardless of the fact that i do hold my alcohol well, i'm afraid [name] has seen me drunk on multiple occasions. they gave me an earful the mornings after. i understand their worries over me so, i drink less now."
CYNO
about [name]:
"you are not the first to be shocked that i have a lover. what? is it because i'm the general mahamatra? my career doesn't often get in the way of our rela- what? it's because of my appearance? what's wrong with it...? ah, i see. i can assure you, [name] is a person who's almost never afraid. they're mostly fascinated by things that seem thrilling, though i advise them to keep themself safe. not like they listen to me..."
chat: desert
"while [name] hadn't originated from the desert, they adapt quite well. occasionally, they have complained about the heat, not that i blame them but, they adjust rather quickly."
chat: rivalry
"hmph, that al-haitham... he doesn't get along with many people, probably because of that awful attitude of his but, unsurprisingly, he and [name] are close. i'm not afraid to lose them to him, no, but rather cautious of him. you can never trust a man like him."
chat: star watching (slightly ooc?)
"i was never a big fan of the stars but, ever since my first encounter with [name], they've always encouraged me to go star watching with them. the sky has hardly any affect on me and even though i agree to tag along, i always spend my time staring at them. they are truly mesmerizing..."
chat: concerns
"i'm confident in [name]'s ability to protect themself but, my title as general mahamatra does worry me regarding their safety. sometimes, i follow them during their adventures to make sure they're alright. what? they've noticed? i- never mind..."
AL-HAITHAM
about [name]:
"apologies traveler but, i am on a time crunch at the moment. [name]? did something happen to them- ah, never mind. your expression is too relaxed for anything bad to have happened to them while i was away. you want to talk about them...? well, ask away, i suppose."
chat: academic
"yes, [name] and i both studied at the akademiya. we were rivals at one point but, somewhere along the way, they had me hooked. looking at it from a much different perspective, i see now, that it was the best thing to have ever happened to me."
chat: knowledge
"nothing halts me from my thirst for knowledge. but, if anything comes close to it, it would be [name]. hm... no, i'd say they're the only one who could. nonetheless, they would never, seeing as they always praise and encourage me."
chat: rivalry
"general mahamatra? i wouldn't be surprised if he wanted [name]. first, after a position he was second best at, and now my lover? i'd like to see that fool try."
chat: reading
"comprehending every aspect of this world and it's secrets is a passion both [name] and i share. i'd have to admit, they're more into the pleasure of sparring over knowledge but, we do often spend our time reading together."
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kindestofkings · 6 months
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tongue-tied (sunflowers)
lando norris x reader
dets: reader is a pro golfer, a massive f1 fan and best friends with lily muni he. will she enter her wag era?
authors note: I litch dont know a thing about golf and I know you can tell lol xx ENJOY
faceclaim: madeline argy
yourusername
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yourusername just wanted to assure everyone im still alive ! just working away and falling more in love with lilymhe, better watch out alexalbon xxx
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lilymhe my love !! training is always so fun with you
alexalbon heyy you're meant to say stop falling in love with me! ive a boyfriend 😑 lilymhe eh why bother :))
ynfan1 can't wait to see you in action on the green!!
ynfan2 🔥🔥🔥
lilymhe
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lilymhe the mixed weather has not stopped us getting some practice in! (its impossible to keep her attention when there's a gp on 🙄)
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yourusername but it's the azerbaijan grand prix! I never miss a grand prix!
lilymhe first alex now you 🙄 🙄
f1fan1 can alobono fight? CAN HE FIGHT??
alex_albon you mean i'm not the only f1 lover in your life???
yourusername oi I was the first mister ! been a mclaren fan since birth 😤 lilymhe tbf she isn't lying... ynfan1 it is sooo common knowledge that yourusername is a ride or die mclaren fan lol yourusername yeah get with it albon
yourusername
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yourusername home and showered in time for the miami grand prix this is a full time job !
kind followers this pact of doritos is a secret between us, got it? so if my personal trainer asks you saw NOTHING, got it?
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ynfan1 yn and lily being f1 fans is so cute !
lilymhe oooh but doritos are your sad snack ? whats happening
yourusername the fav ended in p17 😭 congrats to albonononono tho, i guess alex_albon wow could that have been anymore heartfelt ! lilymhe sush shes a mclaren girlie, don't kick her while she's down!! f1fan1 soooo me coded. its a hard time for us mclaren girlies rn.
yourusername
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yourusername greens beautiful as always! unfortunately inviting alex_albon along with us backfired entirely cause albon didn't bring an papaya wearing f1 friend, so I just thirdwheeled for the day .
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alex_albon oh sorry I think oscar was busy today :(
yourusername thats not who I meant and you know it ! 😑
lilymhe at least you look cute tho!
ynfan1 im litch not a golf fan but I'm obsessed with you lol
ynfan2 I feel so seen, I recognise a lando norris fan when I see one !
landonorris
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landonorris freshhhh
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f1fan1 lando finally past his puberty danny ric is proud
f1fan2 he so fine
landofan1 😳❤️
yourusername
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yourusername it's the monaco grand prix and not only am I not missing it, I'm here! thank qqqq mclaren <33
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ynfan1 ahhhh OMG I hope you meet lando finally
lilymhe babe come williams garage xx
yourusername on my way bestie! gotta tell you about the most awkward encounter EVER lilymhe 🫢🫢
mclaren so glad to have you with us today!
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landonorris just followed you!
yourusername
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liked by lilymhe and others
yourusername attended my first grand prix after being a fan of the sport my whole life! was so chronically awkward I'll never show my face in public again, I've turned to the drink and am hiding away xxx
unrelated: is there a support group for people who embarrassed themselves in front of their celebrity crush??
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lilymhe it can't possible have been THAT BAD
ynfan1 you looked so pretty tho!
ynfan1 also have you forgotten you're a PROFESSIONAL sportswoman yourself lilymhe they are so right ! you slay always yourusername 🥹🥹
mclaren please come join us for another weekend ! celeb crushes can go both ways you know ....
ynfan1 OH OH OH NORIZZ has a crush on you YAYYY
alex_albon leave you both unsupervised for a DAY and you implode
yourusername you said you would be my wingman, I was unprepared 😔😔
landonorris if you do find one can I also get the number to that support group?
osarpiastri please for the well being of everyone, I cannot hear a recap of this meeting alex_albon we should have stuck with the original plan and gone golfing ffs landonorris kick a guy while he's down why don't you yourusername hello ! hi guys just gentle reminder this is my comment section so I can like ... see everything.... landonorris hi 😳 alex_albon oh ffs help lilymhe
britishgq
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britishgq meets yourusername in our next edition. yn is the pinnacle of modern women, with titles like the 'people's princess' circulating. we believe it's high time for a proper catch-up.
oh, and did we mention she's currently britain's highest-ranking female golfer?
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yourusername ahh this is surreal, I had so much fun!!
britishgq 💓💓
lilymhe I say thats my bestie and I am PROUD
lilymhe a model and a killer sportswoman, someone wife her up before I do ! f1fan1 hahaha thats landos warning
ynfan1 I feel so proud omg!!
ynfan2 oh hello lando lurking in the likes
alex_albon oh?
landonorris
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landonorris have been getting some private lessons in between races, watch out carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 aye you'll need a miracle
landonorris and who says I haven't got one...
alex_albon you'd wanna start returning my calls mate
landofan1 oh hello WHO ARE YOU SOFT LAUNCHING
ynfan1 *whispers* please be yn please be yn 🤞
lilymhe BESTIE STEALER
ynfan1 ahh its SO is yn
yourusername
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yourusername golf golf golf, also I drove a fancy car and didnt crash! waiting for that call from mclaren any second now xx
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lilymhe look at you all adorable and loved up <3
alex_albon these kids are growing up so fast ! f1fan you are everyones parents xx
mclaren getting rid of our first driver as we speak !!
landonorris you are leaving out the detail that you mounted the curb...
yourusername and I can leave the detail of you out of my life if you dont watch ynfan1 HE KNOWS THE DETAILS
landojpg
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landojpg summer break well spent.
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ynfan1 I spot my hero !! must be dating if she's on holiday with the friends
landofan1 ew is lily's friend hanging out of him AGAIN?? get a job christ
ynfan1 you do realise shes a professional golfer right?? ynfan2 there's this thing called holidays ....
lilymhe please give her back to me... you can take alex!
landojpg he's not as cute tho 😔 alex_albon so you're saying I am cute tho? 😎
landonorris added to their story!
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the prettiest papaya supporter🧡
replies:
yourusername ah give a girl some warning before you hardlaunch her to your millions of fans... yourusername kinda so cute tho Ill let you away with it <3 lilymhe AH hardlaunch on main danielricciardo does landonorizz have ... rizz??
_finished_
as always would LOVE to know you're thoughts! come chat about this fic or even ideas you have for my next one??
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jujumin-translates · 1 month
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★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 1 - New Prologue
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Towa: (So this is Veludo Station~. It’s smaller than I thought it’d be. The exit should be this way…)
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Towa: (Umm, the map app says…)
Towa: Yeah, over there.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Towa: So this is Veludo Way…
Towa: (This is the heartland of theater, the place with the highest concentration of theaters in all of Japan… all kinds of theater companies, both large and small, are based here.)
Towa: (I’ve only ever seen it in videos, but there really is theater no matter where you look.)
Towa: (It’s amazing that theater continues all the way down the street.)
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Towa: And just beyond that is where… the Holy Land…!
Towa: Calm down, calm down. Okay.
*Camera clicks*
Towa: (I’ll let the guys know…)
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
momo has entered the chat.
momo: At Veludo Way rn
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Iv: congratsss. haven’t seen where you are rn in a hot minute lol shiki: That’s Veludo Way? Kar: AI detected momo: But it’s legit! Kar: Kinda blurry tho shiki: Congrats on your long-awaited pilgrimage to the Holy Land! Happy for you! momo: Haven’t gotten to the Holy Land yet. Gotta calm down first Iv: lol you’ve gone all that way and still haven’t done that? momo: It’s called the Holy Land because it’s a sacred place that you can’t just wander into, so it’d be impolite to be too careless about it Kar: What’s with the sudden essay lmao Iv: bestie’s trying to hit the nerd count shiki: You’ve been working hard all this time to get to the Holy Land, so you should enjoy it to the fullest. momo: I’ll do that!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
*Bump*
Towa: !?
???: “--Gh.”
Towa: Huh…
Towa: (He’s crouching down? I wonder if he’s okay… is it my fault for bumping into him…?)
???: “The hell are you doing?”
Towa: (Huh? That voice, I think I’ve heard it before…)
???: “C’mon, let me give you a hand.”
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Towa: …G-GOD-za’s Haruto Asuka and Shift Arakawa!?
Shift: “It’s no use~... I can’t walk~...”
Haruto: “You drank too much.”
Shift: “My life’s a mess… I can’t even take another step forward…”
Haruto: “Quit overreacting just because you two broke up!”
Towa: (Ah, could it be… this is Veludo Way’s specialty…)
Shift: “I’m not overreacting! I’m always stuck playing a supporting role. At best, I’m just here to be used. I’ll never have a starring role!”
Shift: “If I keep living like this, I’ll just be stuck as a supporting role in someone else’s life.”
Shift: “What’s even the point of living like this…?”
Haruto: “Then live your own life, not someone else’s. The reason you can’t do that is because you put others at the center as the starring role.”
Haruto: “You’re the leading role in your own life. You’re the one who gets to decide what kind of life you live.”
Shift: “I’m the starring role in my own life…”
Towa: (I can’t believe they can do theater like this without a script…)
Towa: (I’ve only ever seen videos of street acts, but they were doing it so naturally. Amazing…)
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Haruto: Thank you very much~!
Towa: --.
Shift: Past GOD-za performances are streaming until tomorrow! It’s only for a limited time, so don’t miss out!
*Applause*
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Towa: (It was way too lucky of me to be able to see a street act done by GOD-za’s top two here…!)
Shift: Ah, sorry for bumpin’ into ya before.
Towa: !! No! Don’t worry about it!
Shift: See ya.
Haruto: Thanks for watching us~.
*Footsteps*
Towa: Haaah~... I should’ve taken a video…
Towa: (Veludo Way really is the place to see street acts done by a whole bunch of different theater companies.)
Towa: (Maybe I’ll see them too…)
Towa: (No way, it’d be impossible to have that kind of crazy luck two times in a row, but, but, what if I really did meet my oshi…)
Towa: --.
*Paper rustling*
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Towa: (It’s something that’s way too good to ever actually happen, but I’ve decided that in the unlikely event that I do meet him, I’m going to make sure I get him to autograph this.)
Towa: (My most treasured possession…)
Towa: Ah, wait, did I bring a pen to get his autograph…
Towa: (Huh, I don’t have it. Did I seriously forget it~?)
*Wind blows*
Towa: Ah--!
*Paper falls to the ground*
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???: …?
[ Next Part ⇢ ]
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sirensea14 · 2 months
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DOG ON THE LOOSE
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Fucking finally im done with this piece!!! Ive paused from rendering him for almost a week due to school things
I used Amberluvsbugs' tutorial on how to render fur, and gotta say, im learning *shrugs*
This is one of the most wildest fanarts ive made yet. Why? Because of the fur and texture made from scratch, the perspective, the fact that this is a redraw scene, full environment, maximum rendering and extra effects! Fcking wild, right?!
Heh, now that ive finished this, i can now go on to some others still havent finished my bbi critters logo yet tho, but that can wait lol
This is a redraw scene of the beginning of the chase where instead of dogday just blindly "waking" up to chase you in the game (idk how to put it into words lol), he snaps his head instead HARSHLY at you. To the point that you heard his neck cracked.
Its been quite some time since ive drawn some good art, did ya missed me posting?
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nut4shuri · 11 months
Text
DATING LETITIA WRIGHT PRT 2!!🤎
Since yall loved the first one ive decided to make a second one.
(this one is a little shorter tho)
Letitia grew up in the UK,meaning she didnt have much knowledge to how things work in the US,cultural,lifestyle,and just a new atmosphere wise.
She's always so in awe by everything about you.
Whys your hair so damn long? Is it so i can pull it."" She said as she combed through the long locks of silky hair.(That 40 inch,yall know it.)
"No it's not so you can pull it,pull my shit its gone be me an you."
She smirked "Or it could just be me in you." she said as she gathered your hair together playfully bending you over the bathroom sink.
"Nasty Ass"
"Where's the rest of your shirt baby" she said as she attempted to pull the cropped tee down lower.
"And yall these are the Good4thebody Blue jeans from shein they're so comfy and they really shape the body" you walked into the camera attempting to give a quick 360 but letita walked in front of you.
"Yall good. Yall dont gotta see all that" she said
"Girl get out my video."
Meeting Your Family
“Y/N who's your friend?“
"Your daughter is just a handful."
Your family chuckled as every one sat at the dinner table,taking in laughs,making jokes,and the atmosphere just felt so right.
Many different Dishes sat on the tables,Greens,Yams,Cornbread,Beans,Chicken,Etc.
"Shes been like that since she was younger"your mom said as she let of a big and vibrant smile.
"Y/N come help mama with the dishes" your mama spoke.
"I like her.."she said making you smile.
"I do to mommy."
"Is she good to you,she seems sweet and full of love"
"Shes amazing,i wouldn't ask for anyone else."
"Well you know what im finna say.."
"Mama..you do know she's a girl-“
“girl yesss“ your mama said laughing.
“I meant like are y'all planning on adoption or something..“
“hmm maybe we haven't really talked about children yet mama.“
"Well you know i want some grandbabies"
You walked and stopped in the door way of the living room. Letita sat talking to your aunts.
"Y/N girl you done got thick on us." Your aunt said as you walked past.
"You been eating good"
"I have."
"She has." Letita looked at you with a smirk.
Yall do fun things like Tik Toks,Vlogs,Pranks And ETC.
“girl no that's wrong way!“ you said as you attempted to teach your girlfriend a new trending dance.
“I be seeing them edits y'all be making about me.“ lettita said as she laid stretched out on the bed beside you,she had her hood on and low eyes. She smiled cocky at her camera making you mug her.
“yeah and y'all better just keep wishing the fuck.“ you said making her chuckle.
“yeah y'all know y/n crazy as he'll. .“
“whatever.“ you said mugging her. She was feeling herself a lil too much.
“come onnn“ you said attempting to pull your girlfriend to the backseat of the car.
She licked her lips and looked at you speaking in a raspy voice “if I come back their,you not gone be able to walk for a month. Now get your narrow ass back up here and put on this seat belt y/n.“
She was always so sweet to you no matter what.making sute you ate and making sure you got ate...
“ma you hungry?“
“ma you want some taco bell?“
“ma whatchu want from the store?“
“I bought you breakfast in bed mamass“
“you want some head?“
She always took you on set whenever she filmed. Making sure you got everything you wanted while their and where was comfortable as you could be.
“you ok ma? You need anything.“ she said as she rubbed your thigh lightly.
You smiled shaking your head and taking a sip of your water sitting back in your chair.
She treated you like the queen you where and would t let up for nun. She constantly reminded you that you where the baddest no matter what.
“ma you dont need no plastic surgery.“
“but..“
“but nothing.“ she said using her hand to raise your chin.
“you beautiful as fuck.“
END
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commanderquinn · 8 months
Text
meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis
allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them
translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.
this meta will include spoilers for the following:
-sam's questline and the npcs involved
-his romance
-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game
-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want
-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho
-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot
this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.
now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:
-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)
-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)
-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)
-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)
-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)
im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.
i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"
no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.
but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.
(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)
now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you
quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3
1: lets talk about cora's hair.
im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.
i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.
9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:
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(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)
i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war
there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.
2: his dad
were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.
"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."
oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest
before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father
unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:
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which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.
its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over
sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition
from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device
sam: "you know why im here."
jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"
w o w
i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.
yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.
forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face
"the only mistake im seeing here is you"
fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.
i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her
and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does
3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart
i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.
okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.
but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.
then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.
and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.
the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.
thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.
4: cora's safety
which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.
the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.
he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.
you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."
5: his morals
its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.
sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.
lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her
sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down
he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.
sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.
you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe
i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.
so let's start to tie our bow here.
sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.
he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.
this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????
corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)
anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.
yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population
but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"
sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking
he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies
tl;dr
i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.
give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature
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quinnhills · 1 year
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Good to know you're feeling welcome! :D this is our little place in the internet, and we've decided to make it trans and gay as hell (n i gotta say, i did think "they-them gang! :o" when i found out you started using they/them too a while ago X3 ) n if you received this ask more than once, my tumblr bugged out before i could finish, sorry (。_。)
anyways, and sorry if this is long, but Woe- More Tumblr Things Be Upon Ye:
there used to not be an image limit before, causing a few- interesting posts… tho that changed a few years ago and recently, at first the limit being 10 images per post to now 30 images per post (you can also move the images around a bit)
if you plan on staying long term on tumblr and use desktop the most, i recommend getting the browser extensions Xkit &/or New Xkit cuz… yeah, tumblr is pretty nice, but it sometimes gets hard to use. it also adds extra useful things to the tumblr experience, which is nice to have. i'd say tumblr is like living in a cheap apartment in a calm area of the city. the place's great for what it is, just gotta be sure to leave rat traps near holes and dont worry about the Beast down the hall,
speaking of rats, we got an infestation. you may or may not have heard of it with the voter fraudage going with the polls a bit ago; since tumblr has little to No email verification, people outside tumblr buy bots to get in here and start posting malicious links. tho the bots are surprisingly easy to identify (often times blank blogs with very weird descriptions + stolen picture of lady or ai generated. you'll know it when you see it), and the protocol here is block and report spam so staff can deal with it
and btw if you want to keep a post for as long as your blog stands, i recommend rebloggin! thanks to how tumblr is build as, even if the original post or that blog is gone, the reblog will stay with you (+ tags on reblogs dont really make a post expand outside of your own blog, so many use this to create Very intricate personal tag systems to make easier finding posts, bc once a blog gets 1k+ post in it, it gets hard finding anything on it... <- knows this from experience u.u)
oh and last thing before i go again (and something i found out recently), another browser extension ive been loving: Stylus! with it you can customize a ton of sites to your liking And with a specific style found in the archive of this extension, you can change how the dashboard looks! even changing the background to any image you might want :D
so yeah, thats it, for now. i got more info if you want it, just lmk 👉👈
and you probably already noticed this, but there isnt really any word limit for posts or asks around these lands. tho on tags, the character limit on a single tag is 139. but you can put a Lot of tags, so there! be free mx quinn, no character limit holds you down no more ヽ(✿゚▽゚)ノ
Thank you so much for the knowledge!
Some Quinn Facts:
Mx., Ms. and Miss are all acceptable :)
I use “gay as hell” as a sort of tongue-in-cheek shorthand, but I also identify as trans as hell, queer as hell, non-binary as hell, lesbian as hell, and anxious/depressive as hell
I’m a vegetarian
My favorite food is pineapple pizza (controversial, I know)
For a few years in the early 2000s, I was a licensed auctioneer
The most times I’ve ever cried during a movie is 5 times during Happiest Season
I like the idea of books, but I’m bad at reading them
Overalls give me gender euphoria, and I don’t know why
I hope to release a solo album within the next year
I hope to direct a feature-length film by the time I’m 40
Coming out was the best thing I ever did
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