#just bc it’s something to do/you’re expected to have them

[celestie0]

🪷 girl fuck these people I'm really sorry you're getting so many messages bitching about no smut in ch10. Like who even cares? Does a story or chapter have no value if the characters aren't going at it like rabbits and fucking and sucking on each other?

At this point if you're so disappointed about no hanky panky just go read one of those pornhwas where the characters start screwing at the drop of a hat.

I would've loved that chapter with smut or without smut idgaf it doesn't even matter to me (and the same is for most of your readers too, I'm sure of it). We've all stuck around with your work for so long, and we have faith in your direction as well as your decisions regarding the pace of the plot. It's never that serious, especially not to the stage that bozos feel the need to weep in a writer's asks and swamp them with negative messages. Go jack off or play dj with your hello kitty and go to sleep like the rest of us.

Again, no matter what you do with your work it's entirely your choice. Ofc we as readers can have our own takes and how or why we interact with the work can vary, but it shouldn't reach this stage. I've seen this same story of bullying and pestering authors on tumblr too many times with other authors whose work I enjoy, and many have left their blogs because the harassment made them lose interest in writing and sharing their pieces. It's fucking heartbreaking. Pornhub dot com is right there for y'all to be doing entirely too much in the asks of these writers who are already overwhelmed and write and share all this FOR FREE. If you have so many qualms about it pick up that bic and get to writing bitch!

I'm sorry babe take care! We love you🫂

AHHH LILYPAD ANON I APPRECIATE U SM THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME 😭😭 you’re always so kind to me i sobs

yeahh sigh :( i was just a bit upset that ppl were already finding fault w a chapter i haven’t even released yet just bc it doesn’t have smut in it 😭😭 like i obviously know by now that i can’t make everyone happy, but it’s not right to subtly pressure me into a certain direction for my story (ik this is a normal thing authors/writers have to deal with, i am just a weakling unfortunately 💀💀 my therapist wld agree)

i know it’s not most of my readers though :”) everyone is so sweet n kind n patient, i just don’t understand the some few that think that just bc they tell me they’re disappointed there’s no smut, that i’m somehow gonna go back to my 80pg dissertation of a chapter n make it 100pgs just to add some for them 😅…like no. what it DOES make me feel is icky n sad

frankly it’s really uncomfortable to make an author feel bad that there’s no explicit sexual content in a story 😅 your horny brainrot is showing. like, i AM def planning to write smut in kickoff, there will be multiple smut scenes to come. but even if i suddenly chose not to include them anymore, that’s my right to do so.

and yes, if they want smut, they can write it themselves. why do i need to be the one to write it for you? i don’t owe anyone anything.

i totally agree w you. honestly, i feel bad sometimes setting these boundaries, but you’re SO RIGHT in that SO many authors leave their platforms bc of hateful asks/pressuring comments etc, i’ve seen it time n time again. bc it’s true that it DOES get to people, especially when creating art is already a very stressful thing. i don’t have to passively tolerate rude strangers on the internet just because i’m trying to protect n pursue my passion

thanks sm for trusting my direction :”) and YES absolutely!! i love it when my readers disagree w character actions or emotions, bc characters have flaws n i’m intentional about those flaws, so it’s exciting to see opinions my readers have, even if they’re in disagreement, because it’s interactive w my work. not that i expect anyone to interact ever. i understand that i post on my own accord, so readers can choose whether to interact on their accord as well.

but something about pressuring me into writing explicit sexual content into a story that i’d like to think is a lot more than just smut, is really disheartening.

- ellie 🐸

#sorry babe i kinda went on a rant here but i just am at my wit’s end #love u n tysm for supporting me as always 🥺💕 #🪷 anon #asks #kickoff

[philtstone]

been trying to put words to why i find psych so unique and effortless in the world of comedy tv and i think ive cracked it. theres a truly excellent approach to storytelling that goes something like this: you pick a high stakes Setting. examples from some Classic media include ancient egypt, space pirates, and in the case of psych: homicide mysteries. all the examples im thinking of are also arguably homages or adaptations to an existing Version of the setting that has expectations or assumptions associated with it. the mummy (1999) was a reimagining of the original horror movie. guardians of the galaxy (2014-2021) borrows and subverts so much of what the audience already knows about classic movies like star wars. (psych is, of course, sherlock holmes). anyway; the setting predisposes itself to more dramatic plot bc inherent to that setting are Stakes. instead of going with the setting-appropriate tone, you commit 200% to comedy through — not the plot — but the DNA of your characters. true, a talented writer will include many deliberate jokes, but the comedy never really turns on and off because your core premise is “watch me put a group of unhinged yet endearing idiots in this major situation and go along with them for the ride”. the more unhinged and idiotic they are, the better, but they have to be setting-appropriate. they have to have the skills and tools to navigate that setting competently or it all falls apart. they’re not bad at their setting, they’re just deeply chaotic. cuckoo bananas. generally stupid (affectionate). they have SO many (complementary) issues.

now comes the most critical part. you tie the whole thing together by also committing 100% to multiple other genres in your already mishmashed genre. when you do romance you do High Romance. when you do drama it is hitting at these characters emotional CORES. and it works because your setting is high stakes and your characters are already three dimensional by being simultaneously hypercompetent and major dumbass. id argue this is a bit different than the more generic works in the indian masala genre or western superhero movie approach because often in those movies its a jack of all trades type situation where there are inserted tracks into a movie thats fundamentally genreless. what im talking about here has fully embraced all 5 of its genres with GUSTO. it’s not slipping in little quips or including one comedy track, it’s always funny. it’s not pairing off two characters for the sake of it, the romance is integral to the core plot of the story and character motivations. its emotional moments are built into the fabric of the story and never afterthoughts.

finally, in order to make the writing work effortlessly (because real life people don’t talk like that) you need a cast with chops and chemistry that makes it all feel organic. there are no breaks or looks into the camera or starts and stops to the emotional and comedic action because the actors embody the spirit of the story so dynamically and work off of each other so well.

like i said, some of my favourite examples of this kind of ensemble comedy-in-a-high-stakes-setting stories are classics like the mummy and more modern works like guardians of the galaxy. it clicked for me the other night that psychs writing reminds me of those stories a lot, but its doubly clever because psych does homage settings inside its already an homage setting and still manages the “watch these idiots in this high stakes situation” bit so well. it’s an entirely different experience from watching a sitcom because the writing never takes you by the shoulder and says “you’re in a sitcom, time to laugh”. id actually argue that psychs weakest episodes are the most sitcom like in flavour. at these stories’ best you’re just dunked into this truly chaotic situation thats made effervescently funny yet also deeply emotional and compelling and dramatic by dint of the characters being Exactly Who They Are All Together. it takes a very talented kind of writer and a special kind of cast to pull this type of storytelling off but when they do. it is so so fun and so so worth it.

#obviously theres more to this but its late and i needed to write this all down somewhere #and obviously all these things have flaws or moments that are less funny or less compelling than others #but i stand by my analysis #i miss this kind of story writing the world needs more of it #phil.txt #psych #the mummy #guardians of the galaxy #perhaps delete later idk

[johndonneswife]

are you and Ayesha planning on having kids? 🥺

nope never ever!

#my opinions on children are too much for tumblr to handle but yeah. don’t want them #have never wanted them #will never want them #the thought of being a mother makes me feel so panicked and sick and depressed #idk i’m the type of person who can’t be held too tightly without freaking out. i need space and i need to be able to do what i want #whenever i want to #ayesha grew up in poverty in pakistan like. eating paper when you’re hungry type of poverty. and i grew up poor / working class in america #and like. idk. i have strong opinions on that too but i won’t get into it here. we’ve just seen too much shit to ever want kids of our own #anyway the thought of having that kind of connection with another human being is terrifying and i don’t want it. my relationship with ayesha #is a choice that we both make #i can leave for work trips at any time without having to worry about her. i can go out. i can go camping. i can make last minute plans. etc #also i just don’t like them enough to have them!! i like playing with my friend’s babies for a few hours #and then giving them back like that’s truly enough for me #being a parent sounds awful. i wish more people would accept that they’re just having kids for the wrong reasons #just bc it’s something to do/you’re expected to have them #i’m also a millennial who can’t afford a house in any of the big cities i want to live in #i’d want to send my kids to private school. sorry but like. i’d want to give them everything i didn’t have and give them whatever edge i can #also school shootings and climate change and child predators. fucking TIKTOK. i can’t #ANYWAY sorry i don’t know when to shut up but like no. i don’t want children 😭 #i don’t like them or enjoy being around them and i don’t want to sacrifice my time money autonomy for a child i don’t even want lmfao #i wonder if this is my grandma sending me this ask from beyond the grave #*** I DONT HATE CHILDREN *** i’m excited to have our future nieces and nephews visit and do fun stuff with them and teach them anarchy \m/ #aish obviously feels the same about all of this and we’ve felt this way since we met #which is also why i knew i’d be w her forever 🥰

[beartitled]

why did you choose polar bear? 🐻‍❄️🐻‍❄️🐻‍❄️

you look much cuter:³🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵

Oh hey that’s the question™️

(don’t get the second one tho)

Anyway

Um

Basically I watched one cartoon as a child (I was about 3 years old) and I kinda got a life long brainrot 🤷

#bear answers #(sorry if the answer was underwhelming and you expected some grand motif lmao) #I actually get that *a lot* in irl #I heard something about ‘’special interest’’ (which might be the case) #but I honestly didn’t do much research on it #so can’t really tell if it’s applies to me #so I just like bears to the point I became one >:D #fun fact: I also have 2 polar bear plushies #my mom bought me them as a kid and I took em everywhere #you might be asking which cartoon 👀 #hoho I won’t tell 😈 #I’m 99% sure nobody knows it bc it’s really old and is not on English #but it’s really dear to my heart to this day (nostalgia feels) #It’s funny how something can influence a person so drastically/pos #that’s one of the reasons why creating art is cool #(you’re never know how much it could mean to a person)

[mildmayfoxe]

wow i was just scrolling around in my work tag and what a fuckin tumultuous time sept/august last year was. i forgot how bad it was but reading through what i was posting at the time… how awful. no wonder i wanted to quit so bad

#it IS better now. mostly i get left to my own devices & nobody asks me to do anything bc they expect me to just do my work. which is awesome #is it a perfect job? no. does it still irritate the shit out of me sometimes? of course. any job would #but it IS better now. so that’s good #it is always so funny to ask my boss & coworker if they need any help with anything & them to be like ‘no you have so much of your own stuff #to do’ i mean if i didn’t have time i wouldn’t ask. but sure you’re right i can entertain myself (organize something) #but that is a funny change from how it was before #chatpost

[binders-and-beanies]

Not to make it deep bc I do love having my own music taste but like. Listening to music that most people don’t like means you have to listen to music you don’t like during sexual/romantic moments, while you’re on adventures, while you work and study, any time you’re in public. Your happiest times are narrated by something that doesn’t feel like it’s for you and your most stressful times are almost mocked by the background music lol. Like not to be a bitch about it bc we all have to experience things that aren’t our favorite but I wish the world made it easier for me to like feel included in my own life. I wouldn’t mind other types of music at all if it weren’t an automatic expectation that I’ll like it and never want to show anyone what *i* consider to be A Vibe

#Idk how to describe the feeling I’m thinking abt lol #it’s like everyone decides for you what’s relaxing to you and whats fun and what vibe matches what you’re doing #and god forbid something entirely different sparks joy for you lol #that isn’t accommodated in the way that you’re expected to compromise 24/7 #this post was prompted by a post that said ‘let’s cuddle and listen to metal’ bc I was like me and who #thats the one thing I miss abt my most toxic ex is I got to listen to music I liked during the most intimate/spiritual experiences #(gay sex) #and like i have close friends who don’t know the most basic things abt me!! #and I talk about wanting to show them and it’s like they don’t hear me #I’m scared to like try harder bc I feel like they’ll just make fun of me lol #but GOD FORBID they ask me if I like h*rry st*les and I say no. then I’m a hater #and like in other cases I feel like people do support my interests and it feels so refreshing but #I still feel like I have to be annoying about it lol #im not even rly saying I want my music playing more with people who don’t want it bc that’s uncomfy #it’s just weird how people don’t even realize their music is the default and not everyone hears their own shit everywhere they go #mine #txt #music

[daffypsyduck]

x

#i fucking hate always being the one who has it worse than others #it alienates on so many fucking levels #you don’t have the energy to meet up with people bc you’ve had to solve already seven different life altering problems that week #as if you’re on a magic quest #oh and four of those you can’t do anything about bc world politics or finances or societal problems etc #the other three resurfaced some other things you already felt bad about four years ago and could never get rid off in your head #and then of course when people ask you how your xyz was and you either just shrug and lie and give the expected answer #or you tell them the truth how horrible this holiday was or how that thing everyone is supposed to enjoy was actually not possible for you #bc see above #of course ppl will also tell you their problems #but you won’t be able to help thinking ‘okay and…?’ bc quite honestly ppl are complaining about wild shit #where either the solution is ‘do something about it’ or it’s not actually more than a minor complaint in the first place #which leads to the dreaded gap of me thinking ‘i can’t believe you are complaining to me about that when you know i struggle w xyz’ #‘and have been for 4 years. it has no future of getting fixed btw itll just always be like that why are you complaining about this bs to me’ #or the other person finally remembering like. compatibility of certain issues and they just finish with #‘of course that‘s not half as bad as it is for you’ #which they will start hating you for at some point definitely btw #bc they never get to complain about their little life which i understand #but like. i didn‘t choose this y’know #oh and btw they will still hold you up to their standards always #didn‘t clean your flat? didn’t fill out those documents in time? don’t have your life on track? #well that is clearly your fault #and has nothing to do w the circumstances that keeps them from rightly complaining about their own little problems to you #i’m so tired of it it’s so tiring i’m so exhausted #like girl i wish it was easier for me too y’know i’m not doing this for fun #barely holding on as is and then you have to take everyone’s little hurt feelings into account too #bc they’ll also judge you as negative nancy if you have nothing good to say when they ask you how it’s going #‘no one likes a negative attitude’ yeah i’m aware. i live this daily as i struggle to get by. thanks #.txt

[grasslandgirl]

.

#for some reason thinking abt my birthday (in 3 months) and how. most likely. for the like third time in as many years. it will be a quiet #disappointment. turning 23 and knowing my friends will do the bare minimum to celebrate with me #and like. I love them both very much and they are good friends but like. last #year one friend bought me coffee and forgot the present she meant to give me as a half Xmas half bday gift. and the other fully forgot it #was my birthday at all. and it feels like every year I try to think of something I want to do and people I want to spend it with and it’s #like hearing cats and pulling teeth to try to organize anything and most of the time it still manages to fall through and it feels like. why #bother at this point when I know it’s a hassle and it’s frustrating and it makes me feel uncared for and disappointed yk #like I’m the organizer and the plan guy in almost all my friendships and that’s fine I don’t mind I love being that person. but it sucks to #have to feel like you’re cajoling people into giving a shit about your birthday and celebrating it with you #and now I feel like a fuxking self centered pity party throwing piece of shit bc it’s not that deep and it’s not that important and it’s not #even soon. but there’s always this small part of me that like. hopes for my friends to take initiative and do something and want to celebrat #with me and throw a party or even a surprise party which I would love and it’s like. it’s never going to happen. they won’t. and it’s not bc #they don’t care about me but it’s bc they won’t ever think to do that. it won’t occur to them. and I just. have to deal with that and I have #to accept my birthdays as quiet and find the personal internal joy for myself and not depend on people to show they care about me the way I #I would show for them. yk? like that’s what it comes down to. I just. I cried on my birthday last year bc it felt like I gave more of a shit #than my friends did. and that sucked. and I don’t want to feel like that again so it feels like the solution is to lower my expectations so #radically that I can’t be disappointed. and that just sucks a little bit too #anyway. it’s not that deep it’s fine I’m fine my birthdays not for months still I don’t know why I’m feeling emotional abt this

[beehop]

whyyy couldn’t it be a dreary cloudy weekend so i can play this incredibly dark game all day but nooo the sun had to be out

#i can’t see SHIT the glare is so bad #yes this is about the quarry again yes i could play at night but #playing during the day means i’m significantly less scared!! and also i don’t want to do anything else #if this game wasn’t dark as fuck it’d be fine but what can you expect from a horror game i guess #also i’ve put together (i think) that the hunters are just trying to get the creepy monster and protect the kids #with the blood somehow idk #so i fucked up like alll of kaitlyn’s quick time events in purpose hoping she would get blooded #anyway that backfired bc now she’s lost the gun lol #also i suppose if thr hunters would at least use their words like we’re trying to help! maybe the kids would be less scared of them #but they are acting really weird so maybe my theory is wrong #also kinda fucked up they don’t have camp end more than a literal day before hunting season for creepy demon thing opens up #like didn’t the kids leave the same day the councelors were supposed to?? #you’re just asking for something to go wrong lol

[chuluoyi]

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 03:12 A.M 」

tw: pregnancy. just a little something based on ask~ gojo annoys you on daily basis, so now you return the favor and he can't refuse it bc you're his baby mama😋

a part of gojo's love entries

“satoru— your baby is hungry,” you pouted, poking his cheek repeatedly. “sa-to-ru!!”

it was 3 in the morning, and ideally, you would have been sleeping... only that suddenly you were awoken by rumbles from your growing belly.

yet your husband was still sound asleep without any care in the world, prompting you to poke him until you succeeded in making him hear you out.

satoru begrudgingly cracked his eyes open, still having his face tucked under the blanket and yawning. “ngh, sweets… what is it?”

his sleepy voice was thick, low and raspy. usually you’d swoon and leave a hickey or two on his neck but not now, as the overwhelming hunger made you almost curl.

“baby is craving mochi,” you said, eyes shining up to him ever so innocently. “get it for me, satoruuu.”

“oh?” if he wasn’t awake before, now he was after hearing your nagging tone drawling his name. he faced you and drew you closer. “what do you want again, hmm?”

“ice cream mochi!!”

“oooh that.” satoru scratched his head at the memory of him eating the last of it yesterday. “but we ran out of them, sweetheart… wait till morning, yeah? i’ll go to market to get some.”

“but...”

“can’t baby wait a few more hours, hmm?”

“no! want it— now!”

satoru blinked at your insistence. you looked positively adorable while sulking at him too.

“why mochi all of sudden, huh?” he decided to humor you. “you used to say they taste bland.”

“that’s because of your sperm infecting me,” you sullenly accused. “and don’t pretend you haven’t been feeding me mochi for weeks. baby likes it more than i thought.”

“hey! don’t bash my sperm! they did no wrong and completed the deed splendidly!”

“you’re just a one-time donor, don’t be smug.”

he whined and you huffed, before suddenly your stomach grumbled loudly and you curled up. “mmhm.”

“hey… what’s wrong?” satoru quickly sat up and placed his hand on your baby bump. “really hungry? wait, i’ll get you something to nibble on first.”

he rummaged through his work uniform and found several bite-sized chocolate bars he brought around, and unwrapped the foil. “here.”

you immediately devoured the treat to sate your hunger, but still, your baby longed for more—

“mochi…” you mumbled despondently, your expression turning heartbroken. and one second later satoru realized how much he wanted to squeeze your cheeks, and relented.

“okay, okay, sweets~” he gave your head several comforting pats, making you look up. “i’ll go and get the mochi, yeah? you stay put and wait for me, 'kay?”

“yay.” a little smile bloomed in your face and satoru chuckled, finding you so unbearably endearing.

and so, for you, he ventured out to the closest 24-hour convenience store, picking up some ice cream mochi along with other treats to replenish your stock, before teleporting back home.

he was expecting that you'd still be all sulky while waiting for him, but instead, he found you peacefully asleep, hogging his pillow.

each breath that caused your chest to rise and fall made you appear all the more vulnerable and soft in his eyes.

you looked so irrevocably precious to him. his sweet little wife... in that moment, satoru felt like he was the luckiest man alive, getting to have you as his.

“you naughty girl.” he let out an amused laugh before reclaiming his spot next to you. the hold you had over him— you made him go through the cold night air, and now you were monopolizing his pillow and he had to resume sleeping without one at all.

and yet all he could feel was love. for you and your baby, as he pulled you close to his chest.

“both of you sure love teaming up against me, huh?”

#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk crack #gojo satoru #satoru x reader #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru fluff #jjk fluff #gojo x you #satoru gojo fluff #jjk x reader fluff #gojo fluff

[existentialcrisis-24-7]

Vent :)

Any time I try to talk to my sibling about literally anything I enjoy they get annoyed and mad at me and tell me to shut up but any time they want to talk about something that excites them I’m a horrible person if I’m not interested, but that’s an extremely rare because I always act interested or at least somewhat supportive. And that same favour is almost never given back

#I know they’re a teenager and emotions are whack during that time but not once have they ever been actually nice about talking to me #and I also know that like you shouldn’t have to pretend you’re interested in talking to someone about something #but in this situation it should be a fair give and take. I do so much emotional heavy lifting for them (in spite of them trying to keep it #to themselves as often as possible) #and I never expect them to do the same emotional labour for me. bc I’m an adult with a lot more shit going on. but I do just want to be #listened to. like human connection is important. I don’t have a whole lot of irl friends I see often nor do I end up talking online #man idk it just feels unfair #maybe I’m being unreasonable #vent #none of you can stop me from venting

[alyakthedorklord]

Batman the Playboy

Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.

The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.

Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“

Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”

Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”

Green Arrow: (offended noises)

Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”

Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”

However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)

So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”

Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”

———

Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.

GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”

Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”

Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”

Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”

GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”

Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.

Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”

Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”

Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”

Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”

Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”

Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️

“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”

Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!

The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.

And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.

(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)

Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.

#a few months later GL brings it up #like ‘ha ha remember funny joke’ #batman: ‘…joke?’ #justice league #😳 #yes joke #autistic batman #batman #brucie wayne #justice leauge shennanigans #batman the playboy

[eternity-death]

Penacony Reactions to you spanking them

No TW’s I think. Just sillies being silly. Established relationship with Reader in all these hc’s.

—————

Hanabi

Head snaps 180° at you and you scream.

She’s traumatized you and now you will never do it again.

This doesn’t stop her from getting you back, though. And she’ll do it in public to make it worse. It’s not a one-and-done deal either, it becomes a regular thing.

You’ve just sentenced yourself to a life of sore-booty and humiliation. Was it really worth it?

Black Swan

Stares at you.

Her expression is a little hard to read and the longer she looks at you the more you feel implored to apologize.

She’s not mad though, she’s actually rather amused. And she’s getting even more entertainment by watching you squirm.

Eventually she gives and just chuckles. If you’ll allow her, then she’ll give you a nice tap on the butt too.

Sampo

He does that one goofy (Mickey mouse) scream.

Very animated reaction. Jumps 10 feet off the ground and covers his behind. He looks back at you like a kicked puppy but you know it’s all fake.

Sniffles and says smthn like, “How could you do this to your best bud, Sampo?”

Gets you back when you least expect it. Like you actually scream bloody murder because your guard is down and you can’t hear him sneak up on you bc he’s light on his feet. It doesn’t matter if you’re in public either. Be very afraid.

Aventurine

“Woah! Getting a little frisky, eh?”

If you’ve got something separating you two like a chair or a counter, he will chase you around it to reach you. Spanks you back, harder, with zero hesitation.

He starts tapping your butt as a regular thing afterwards. Almost like a greeting.

“Hey babe.” Then a light slap. When he feels extra mischievous he’ll grab it.

Acheron

You are unable to slap her booty because she catches your hand before it makes contact.

Just kind of looks at you and goes, “What are you doing.”

You explain to her that spanking is a sort of gesture between close companions. She doesn’t quite get it but decides to just go with it.

Later on, when she greets you, she strikes her hand down on your behind so hard that your teeth clatter. She asks if she did it right with such a hopeful tone, that you can’t find it in yourself to tell her that shattering someone’s pelvis is not part of the gesture. (When she does find out that she’s hurt you she apologizes deeply and coddles you)

Dr. Ratio

Lets out a high pitched yelp.

Gives you the most scandalized look and defensively rubs his tush.

“Did you really just do what I think you did?”

Strategizes a way to get you back. He has a blackboard with physics equations for the perfect angle and fall of his hand, pinned papers and calendars with your schedule and his, etc. He’s terrible at hiding his intentions too. When the time comes for his revenge you already anticipate it. What you didn’t anticipate was how strong he was. You guess those biceps aren’t just for show.

Firefly

Why would you ever? What kind of monster are you?

She yelps and just stares at you; hands covering her behind, face flushed, and her mouth agape.

Apologize.

Sam

You have a death wish.

Another one who catches your hand before you can spank. He just puts your hand back in your lap and goes, “No.”

He actually just doesn’t want you to hurt yourself. His… butt… isn’t very soft, you see.

If you want him to, he’ll lightly tap yours back.

March 7nth

Gasps and launches herself at you with full intention of getting you back.

It turns into a chase, where you run in circles around the gazebo until she gets too tired and gives up.

You laugh about it but later forget. Little do you know, March has been scheming ever since.

“AHA!” You feel a harsh slap against your behind and yelp. The vendor you were talking to looks at you and your girlfriend as if you’ve both grown an extra head. She laughs victoriously, “See? I told you payback was coming!”

Robin

“Oh!!!” Gasps and covers herself. She’s a little freaked out at first but once she see’s it’s you she giggles.

You don’t really expect her to spank you back but she does. With the same amount of force that you used.

It kinda escalates into a competition where you two see who can land the most spanks in one day. Just don’t do it in front of her brother.

You’re losing btw.

Sunday

Do NOT spank him in public. He will be very crossed with you. Not funny did not laugh.

You may proceed with the spank if you are in private though.

He actually squeaks when you do. Then once the initial shock wears off he laughs, incredibly amused by you. Doesn’t say it but he plans on returning the favor.

When he does get you back you don’t expect it. You’re probably cooking or marking off the calendar when he passes you and goes, “Good morning, my love.” And then he slaps your butt. Moderate strength, enough to make you yelp but not enough to sting.

#hsr x reader #sunday x reader #honkai star rail x reader #Sampo x reader #Hanabi x reader #sparkle x reader #black swan x reader #Robin x reader #dr. ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #Acheron x reader #firefly x reader #Sam x reader #march 7nth x reader #if you’re like ‘hey I’ve seen smthn similar to this before for genshin’ that was probably me on my other acc #aventurine x reader

[ddejavvu]

I can’t stop thinking about being a suspect in a case and being interviewed by Hotch 😭 like being so nervous and him taking it as like “??? are you even gonna try hiding it??” and you’re not gonna be honest and be like “i’m not nervous because i’m guilty i’m nervous BC YOURE A HOT OLD MAN” because this is a serious case and serious situation so it’s just Hotch trying to coax it out of you, you being all flustered looking suspicious but actually like needy for this man, and the team who caught on like “oh wait no. shes just attracted to him. why do we have hot people on the team?”

SSA Hotchner's scrutinizing gaze studies your weak posture, your fidgeting fingers, your spotty eye contact, and he muses, "You're not very good at controlling your body language."

"What?" You look at him, eyes wide and round and full of nerves. You've never been questioned before, not even by a low level security officer, much less an FBI Agent. You suppose that's making you nervous, yes, but what's really wringing you out is the fact that the one they sent to your interrogation room is just plain hot.

He's gorgeous, all sharp features that are always angled towards you, and dark eyes you'd expect of a criminal, not its captor. His suit is crisp and his voice is low; he's the pinnacle of professionalism and he's making you squirm with his undivided, discerning attention.

"You're nervous," He accuses, and you let out a soft huff in the back of your throat.

Who wouldn't be?

"You're fidgeting, you can't look me in the eyes, you lean away from me," He lists, leaning forwards in his chair to watch you repel like a magnet, your back pressing into the metal bars behind you as he proves his point.

"I'd think someone with the criminal expertise to commit six murders without witnesses would have a better handle on their outward appearance."

"I'd think so, too," You manage, not without stammering, "Agent- Agent Hotchner, I- I'm not-"

"You're not guilty? You're the closest thing we have to a suspect," He doesn't let your stuttering deter him, leaning ever-closer until you're flattened against the back of your chair and he's still advancing. He rises from his seat, inching closer and closer as he continues, "You miraculously discovered the body at an odd hour of the night when you had no business being at the scene of the crime, you called it in, you told the police you knew nothing, you're telling me you know nothing, but still," He's inches away from you now, and every nerve in your body is aflame with mortification at the very unhelpful fantasies rushing through your head as he pins you to the chair.

"-You insist on your innocence, but I don't think you're innocent at all. I think you're trying to toy with us, but we don't play games, you won't win. Understand?" His dark eyes bore into your own and you're painfully attracted to them, biting the inside of your cheek to stop from begging him to back away before you lose control and surge forward to kiss him. He refuses to blink, but you're doing it enough for the both of you, lashes rapidly fluttering as you try calming your pounding heart. He watches you for one, two, three, four, five seconds, expecting a hurried confession at any moment, but the door clicks open before you can stammer something humiliating.

"Hotch," It's a dark-haired woman, and god, does the FBI recruit people based on attractiveness? She's stunning and she turns her beautiful eyes on you in sympathy, "Back off, Hotch. She's innocent."

He narrows his eyes at her almost imperceptibly, turning away from you, "You found the unsub?"

"No," She admits, "But it's not her. Okay? I just know."

"You just- Agent Prentiss," Agent Hotchner stands straight, "That's not protocol."

"I know," She gushes, but she strides confidently through the room to ease you upright and out of your chair, "Just- let me handle this, okay? Come on, honey, we'll talk somewhere private."

Agent Hotchner lets her take you away, and he must trust her, even if he's watching her with narrowed eyes. Maybe this is some interrogation tactic, maybe the woman leading you by the shoulder through the precinct is the good cop, and he was the bad one.

She leads you past a cluster of people all leaning against desks or hunching over files, and a slim blonde woman shoots you a knowing smile. What she knows, you're not sure, but you wish so badly that it were comforting.

The woman walking with you leads you straight to the front door, taking your purse from where they'd confiscated it earlier and handing it back to you.

"You're free to go," She smiles at you, eyes nothing but kind, "I'll tell him you proved your innocence."

"But- what," Your fingers are almost too limp to keep your bag in their grip, "I don't understand-"

"I do," She grins, "He's handsome, I get it. He tends to forget that."

Your cheeks sear with flames that you wish would turn you to ash right then and there, so that you could be carried away on the breeze and not have to answer for your embarrassing instincts.

"Don't worry about it," She laughs, clearly sympathetic to your panic, "Trust me, you're not the first person that's squirmed in their seat under the intense gaze of Aaron Hotchner. He's a smart man, but never smart enough to figure out when someone likes him. You're free to go, honey," She repeats, reaching out to squeeze your arm, "And if you ever get dragged into an investigation again - which I hope you don't," She grins, "I wish you a very ugly investigator."

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner scenario #aaron hotchner oneshot #aaron hotchner one-shot #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner headcanons #aaron hotchner headcanon #aaron hotchner hc #aaron hotchner hcs #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner dialogue #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction

[gay-dorito-dust]

How they’d react to you not kissing/hugging him before leaving for a mission…

Dick acts as though you told him his ass isn’t that fat in his spandex suit-

He’s insulted.

You always, always remember to kiss his cheek before he leaves. His ‘good luck, be safe and kick ass’ cheek kiss!

It’s your thing as a couple! Do you want to see him cry because he fucking will! He’ll do it!

Dick will pout, huff and whine loud as possible in hopes that you’d realise your error and rectify it tenfold. He won’t tell you what’s wrong. No, he wants and expects you to figure it out for yourself, which doesn’t get him anywhere when you’re looking at him confused and lost as to what he was whining about; Literally.

His mood will be down for the entirety of the day and you’ll no doubt have texts from his teammates and family members asking what was wrong with Dick to look so down.

You’re just as confused as them seeing as how Dick didn’t disclose his innermost thoughts and feelings to you despite being his partner, so you were at a loss on how to help them with something even you weren’t privy to knowing…it’s probably one of your biggest issues as a couple but that’s for another time.

Dick will do that pathetic thing where he looks back at you expectantly the closer he gets towards the door, even going so far as to walk extremely slow when he was within reaching distance of the door handle as to buy you enough time to notice before he genuinely had to leave.

When you don’t however, Dick acts like a kicked puppy for the rest of the day and will proceed to exaggerate to anyone with ears about how his lover was restricting him of his affection.

On the other hand, If you do manage to remember to give him a good luck kiss, planting an extra one on his other cheek for extra, extra luck. Dick will have a permanent smile on his face that will not go the fuck away, even when he’s beating someone’s ass, the smile remains glued on his face as though with gorilla glue.

Seeing Dick brutally beat someone’s ass with a smile was horrifying for anyone to witness but it’s okay bc he’s happy that you remembered to kiss him good luck.

Jason will immediately call you out on your bullshit.

And by that I mean cross his arms over his chest and stare at you saying. ‘Well?’

And you’re like: ‘well what?’

And he’s like: ‘where’s my good luck kiss that you owe me? Roy is waiting on me and here I am waiting on my kiss, so give me my kiss chipmunk.’

Jason doesn’t piss about and gets to the meat of the issue at hand. He wants his good luck kisses and he wants them now and he will not leave the apartment until he gets them.

You’d raise a brow at his not so subtle neediness for your affection and decided to tease him. ‘I thought you didn’t need my good luck kisses remember? You’re a big boy who can fight with or without my good luck kisses.’

Jason groans, not expecting you to pull that out. ‘I said that one time. One time and I was being a dick back then too because all you wanted to do was show me that you cared about me and didn’t want me to get hurt.’

You smiled and got up from the couch and walked over to him, resting your hands on his biceps. ‘So now that you admit that you were a dick and the way that you acted was wrong…’ you trailed off as you pressed a kiss to his lips once, twice, three times because you loved to kiss Jason whenever possible and will try to plant as many kisses as you could.

‘Thanks chipmunk.’ Jason murmurs against your lips, feeling everything has gone back to being right again. ‘Now I better be off or Roy will tease me for lingering too long-‘

‘Too late.’ Roy said from the doorway and Jason closed his eyes and silently curse while you smiled and waved at Roy. ‘Hi Roy!’ You said. ‘Hi y/n, mind letting Jason come out to play?’ Roy joked. You played along by making a thoughtful face as Jason mutters under his breath; ‘are you being serious right now?’

You snapped your fingers. ‘As long as you make sure Jason doesn’t get into trouble then yes, he may go out and play.’

‘I hate you both.’ Jason groaned as he walked past you and playfully shoved Roy aside to leave the apartment. Roy then cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted after him. ‘Are you sure you don’t want your goodbye kisses?’ You and Roy laugh together upon hearing Jason cursing him out from a distance.

Damian acts indifferent about it.

He doesn’t need a good luck hug, hell! he doesn’t need luck at all!

He’s skilled enough to win any fight without relying on something silly as Luck. Luck was just probability under a different name and definition. (A/n: Don’t quote me on that.)

So when you forget to give him a hug before a mission, Damian doesn’t think anything of it but it will linger in his mind unnecessarily much to his annoyance.

Why was he so hung up on not getting something a silly as a hug? Or was he instead more upset over the fact that you, his closest friend/partner, completely forgot about it as though it wasn’t anything worth remembering.

Either way he was conflicted and didn’t know how to go about saying any of this to you without getting frustrated over his apparent loss for words. He was a man of action more then anything so when he finally catches up to you, he will stride towards you and stop just a couple of inches and silently stare at you with his resting bitch face.

‘Damian?’ You asked. ‘Are you okay?’

Damian doesn’t say anything because he couldn’t think of anything to say in that moment and instead stays silent as to save himself from further embarrassment.

‘Damian?’ You asked again, getting worried over his unusual silence. ‘I can’t help you if you don’t tell me-‘ before you could finish your sentence, Damian had lunged towards you and brought you into a very tight hug. You smile softly and gladly hugged Damian back, not saying a single word other then;

‘You don’t need me to say it but I’ll reaffirm it anyway, you’ll do great out there Dami. I know you will.’

#dc imagine #dc x reader #dc x you #dc fanfic #dc fic #dc comics x reader #dc x y/n #dc fanfiction #jason todd imagine #jason todd fluff #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagines #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x you #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson imagines #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson fluff #nightwing x you #nightwing fluff #nightwing imagines #nightwing imagine #nightwing x reader #damian wayne x you #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne imagines #damian wayne fluff

[yaymiyas]

ISEKAI!YANDERE!CROWN PRINCE INTRODUCTION

warning: female reader, his name is saer…just so you can follow a bit lol, isekai lol

a/n: it’s structured a bit differently than my other introductions, do note that yes this is x reader but you had gotten isekai’d into a novel so….i do say her name but…..you’re also you…..if that makes sense, also he is hardly in it but its like….an introduction to the story bc its…an isekai and i needed to layout how i wanted everything to be

its not like you didn’t realize something was up. bright white lights blind you right when you open your eyes. maids coming in and out, calling you ‘miss’ and telling you not to sit up because ‘it will harm you even more’. granted, you were very thankful for their words because, around ten minutes before they came in, you attempted to sit up and gave yourself a headache. even though nobody was explaining anything, you remained quiet, trying to gather as much information from the surrounding maids as possible. the red-haired one with tight curls and an everlasting smile was amanda. she seemed to like you much, more than the other two, and tended to you more carefully. maybe she was your personal maid,or maybe she was just good at her job, but she never let up and called you your ‘name’.

admittedly, none of the other two maids called you your ‘name’ either. it was all just ma’am or miss from them. you just expected a hint of your identity from amanda, based solely on her care for you. selfish? maybe but you needed more hints. the other maids are named cynthia and tilly. the former of the two had long black hair slicked into a low bun, with a small maids hair on top to finish the look. it was a cute detail, if you must say, since the other two didn’t wear them. cynthia hardly spoke above a shout, coming off as more soft-spoken than the other two. she wasn’t really rude, nor did she have an attitude while tending to you, but she wore an expression of indifference that made you think she would rather do anything else.

tilly, on the other hand, was more bold than the other two. still not outwardly rude, but she tested your patience a few times. the main one that got to you though, was when she was rubbing your face. while she was washing off your face with the washcloth, she rubbed against your cheeks too hard, and upon this ‘realization’ she gave you a malevolent grin. her thin lips formed an o shape, mimicking the action of saying ‘oops’. luckily, it seemed as if amanda and cynthia didn’t really care for this ‘prank’ of hers. they both scoffed in disgust, continuing to pick out outfits for me to wear for the day ahead.

a soft but stern knock was heard at the door, revealing a man with black slick back hair and yellow eyes to put the look all together. he reminded you of those webtoon male leads that were cold but female audiences loved. being a sucker for those types, you raised your neck up, making sure to keep your body in the same supine position. the man standing at the foot of your bed looked down at you with an expression that you couldn’t read. an expression that wasn’t scary but wasnt welcoming. tapping along the footboard of the bed, he let out a low sigh out that resembled a growl and turned around to leave. tilly, amanda, and cynthia didn’t acknowledge the man. neither did he to them. the only thing that could resemble an interaction between the four of them was when tilly and amanda gave small bows and the slight side eye cynthia gave before going back inside your closet to look for something.

“madam,”

thats a new one.

“lord saer would like you to have breakfast with him today.”

lifting your head enough to turn your focus towards amanda, you started to guess your facial expression was a bit too expressive because amanda started to giggle. the pain in your body wasn’t really high; it was more the numbness that bothered you. moving your neck and head didn’t really take much strength, it was attempting to move your legs that was the problem. walking towards you in a shift movement, amanda placed the rich, deep purple hair piece down on top of the dress set she had picked out for you. upon arrival, she softly removed your blanket and shifted your body into a sitting position. you felt like a doll.

“okay now miss, i will be lifting you up to wash you now.”

placing her right arm underneath the backs of your knees and her left arm supporting your neck, she quickly moved you to the area you’re assuming was the bathroom. the door to the large room was already open, since once she had lifted you up, cynthia had pushed the door open and walked in herself. the room was massive, twice the size of a normal person’s kitchen. the walls and floor tiles were both the same shade of pale pink, matching the sleeping set you had on. amanda sat you down in a chair and started to strip you down. while she was doing that, the other was running the bath water and testing if it was safe enough. every time the water was a bit too hot or too cold, you saw cynthia’s eyes squeeze shut.

“alright madam edina,”

cynthia sighed, standing up from the clam shaped tub.

“it’s all set for you. please do not make it hard as you have always done.”

not sparing you even a small look, she and amanda were already picking you up and guiding you into the tub. quietly instructing you to lay back, wet, cold liquid found its way both on your scalp and on your legs. edina? are you sure thats what she said? the only edina you knew of was the villainess from the hit novel “obsession falls”. you never really read the book, but you knew of the characters and the content that surrounded it. it was rather controversial for how obsessive and dangerous the male lead was. he had stalked the female lead for years, and it didn’t stop once he got married. with a wife so dismissive and uninterested, the male lead was given all the time in the world to go hunt his prey.

unfortunately for him, once edina randomly started to care about what her husband was doing during the day he had to slowly stop. losing the love of his life to the second male lead, alastair. due to this very random string of events, saer had grown irritated by the events his wife was clumsily stringing together. he then decided to take care of his wife, edina. the night before he was to go and kill alastair, he had poisoned the dinner he had helped make for his wife. from your memory, this was one of the few times in years he had asked his wife to sit at the table and eat with him. she would usually just take her food into her room separately. this night, edina came into the dining room with her most expensive jewelry and dress. she thought this was the night her husband was going to admit his faults and leave the female lead for her. however, what actually ended up happening was that the moment she took a bite out of her steak, her vision went black and her head banged on the table.

focusing on the soft brushes of your hair, you start to put the pieces together. you don’t remember the faces of any of the characters in the story, you just remember the basic blot and conflict. if what cynthia said was true, that you are in fact edina tudor gwynn then that means the reasoning for your stiff body was because of your ‘husband’ trying to kill you. sharply sucking in some air, you seek strength within your legs. even though the lower half of your body was still partially numbed, the feeling of pins and needles filled the tip of your toes to the back of your knees. not wanting to cause much of a scene, even though you were sure she wouldn’t care much, you looked up to check to see if your maid was paying you any mind. cynthia was too focused on rinsing your body, while amanda stopped brushing your hair to grab towels for you.

“cynthia,”

it was amazing how you could even get that out. due to the affects of the poison, your throat had become overly dry and it hurt you to even swallow. that was mainly one of the reasons as to why you hardly spoke to them this morning. stopping in her tracks, she lazily turned her head into your direction. the woman didn’t have much of any emotion on her face. her eyelids halfway down, making it appear that she was tired or just bored. her lips were in a thin line. you had hardly seen her smile or really speak, so you started to believe this was just how her resting face looked like.

“why did he poison me?”

tilting her head a bit, cynthia’s facial expression changed. it was as if your question intrigued her. her low eyelids raised a bit, along side her eyebrows, as she tried to tame the smile that was creeping on her thin lips. this was the most expressive you have ever seen her. she began to part her lips when amanda came back through the door with the towels.

“perhaps this conversation will need to be revisited, my lady.”

#female reader #yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #yandere oc #yay ocs #yay isekai #yandere isekai #yandere crown prince #yandere prince #yandere x female reader #yandere boy