#just because someone else you know has a similar experience | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suzukiblu · 15 hours

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May I ask how you got people interested in your works? You have so many people who love your writing (rightfully so bc you're awesome) and I just want to find some people who like my writing like you did

ik that I should be writing for myself and everything, and for the most part I am! I write bc I like writing and it makes me happy! But it's just so so discouraging to see my little silly posts that take me 5 minutes to make do fantastic, meanwhile the works that take me weeks of effort get like 3 notes yk?

How do you do it? Did you ever deal with something similar? Any words of wisdom for the struggling noobs?

(This is a genuine question, I'm not trying to be rude in any way shape or form and I'm very sorry if it came off like that) (Also sorry to bother you)

You’re good, I’m not bothered by questions and I don’t think you’re asking anything rude either! I especially don’t mind the “please explain this thing I don’t know much about to me” type of questions, there’s just some shit you can’t effectively google or things that just make more sense coming from someone with direct experience.

First and foremost: the two cakes meme is law!! No one will ever complain about getting two cakes, no matter if you think someone else already did it better!

Second and second-most: as a newbie, before you read any of my advice at all, remember that you're currently comparing yourself to someone who’s been writing fic for their entire writing experience and has also been in fandom on and off for pretty much all of that time on multiple sites and through at least a couple major migrations of fandom hubs, and that time has been about twenty-five years now. Like, it has very much been a long-term process, me learning how to find a receptive audience for my stuff. Also I am a grown-ass adult who is currently pushing forty and am pretty self-aware of who I am as a person due to a WHOLE lot of personal introspection and therapy and general life experience. Like, I know how I work at this point in my life, if nothing else.

The long-form answer of my personal fandom process will definitely require a cut at this point, though, haha. Like, this got kind of involved, ngl, but since you’re asking I figure it’s reasonable to go into detail.

So anyway, the “how to find your audience” answer is obviously gonna be different for everybody, but PERSONALLY, I've been in fandom for a long-ass time and just about always been pretty prolific and consistently communicative and available during the times I was around. I have a ton of different fandoms and fics in my history and have run into a lot of different people and written a lot of different things over the years, so I've cast a pretty wide net of options for people to find me through. I've got readers who've followed me through multiple fandoms and even deliberately gotten into new ones because of me just because they like how I write and know me well enough from my other writing to trust that I’ll be respectful of certain things (or at least put in a good-faith effort to be). Your kink is not my kink, but I’m not gonna hate on it; your thing is not my thing, but you have fun over there, you DO your thing!

Being prolific is super-helpful, of course, because that gets people in the habit of checking in on you regularly and keeps you fresh in their minds, but one of the most effective ways I’ve gotten people long-term interested in my work is by being very responsive to readers and very open about what I’m currently working on. Taking requests has helped, asking who wants to see more of what has helped, talking to people in general has helped, and definitely playing “yes, and?” with ideas I’ve been offered has helped. Also I had the benefit of LiveJournal being one of my main fandom hubs for a while, where I met a lot of people and got in the habit of talking to them in a way Tumblr does not necessarily intuitively facilitate, so that’s just a habit for me.

I definitely still produce stuff that comparatively flops and get bummed about it, it’s just a thing I’ve gotten used to over the years and so I either kill my darlings and move on to the next thing or I decide “naw, I’m still into this idea, I’mma work on it more anyway”. That’s obviously much easier when at least a couple other people are also into said idea, but still, it’s a thing you just gotta decide for yourself either way. Like I’ve DEFINITELY had stuff I slaved over get just about totally ignored while things I only tossed up on a whim off the top of my head or just intended as jokes people adored and resonated with way more, which is part of why I do so many WIP memes where I’m drip-feeding bits and pieces of content more regularly. One of my recent fics didn’t get near as much of a reception or interest on AO3 as I’d hoped it would, but when I was writing it on Tumblr people DID get excited for and enjoy it during the process, so that helped soothe that particular indignity/frustration for me.

Also, I’ve gotten enough people invested in my writing at this point that it’s much easier for me than it is for some writers, because I can do things like ask “hey what do you guys like/want to see more of?” and I’ll pretty much always get an answer, simply because so many people are in the habit of regularly checking on my blog and talking to me now. Polls are very helpful that way too, because it’s a functionally anonymous way for shyer people or people who are just casually scrolling their dash to give you an idea of what they’re enjoying from you without having to disrupt their flow or psych themselves up or anything like that. Like, it’s low-pressure, you know? I have done a LOT of polls since I found out Tumblr has those now.

I also constantly encourage people to both talk to me about and also play with my interpretations and AUs as they so please, and I deliberately cultivate responsive relationships with as many readers as I can. I don’t always have the spoons to answer every ask, but I always try to answer the majority of them and try not to ignore questions. A significant chunk of people have told me that they read tropes and AUs from me that they hate from other writers because they just trust that I’ll write it in a way that they can enjoy. I will include certain things and a certain level of respect that they just would not be comfortable without, and if I don’t have those things in there or there’s a common trigger, I’ll at least have done my best to tag for it. And I listen to people who tell me when I’m fucking up and I either take reasonable accommodations or change my behavior where appropriate. I tag for common triggers, I don’t use terms I’ve been told are insults or slurs, I try not to associate negative connotations with physical characteristics or things people can’t change about themselves, and when I have a reflexive “squick” reaction, I try not to assume shit and try to examine my biases. Or I just back-button and move on, if it comes to it. I also do my best to assume the best of people until they prove that I should not be. I am very much going to de-escalate when and wherever I can.

I generally consider myself a low-drama blog and a low-drama person to follow, and put in effort to be that as best I can, and at this point I think (or at least hope) people feel relatively confident that they can talk to me without having to worry about immediately getting their head bitten off, which seems to be an increasing fear/concern that some people have in fandom. Therefore, I get people talking to me pretty regularly, because I’ve gone to the effort to be as approachable as I know how to make myself.

Also, yeah: above all else, write what you wanna write! Write your weird and niche dreams! Trust me, somebody out there LOVES your weird and niche dreams and wants all the deets on ‘em. I get the most engagement and interest when I just write what I really wanna see and don’t particularly worry about how goddamn weird I think I’m being. People are actually gonna be EXCITED about how goddamn weird I think I’m being, because a lot of them want it too and they’re not finding it as easily as a lot of the more popular stuff.

So like . . . hope at least some of that was helpful, feel free to ask follow-up questions if you have any, hah.

#anonymous #rintalk

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sleestakkk · 2 years

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Y’know when you hate something due to its texture or smell and you CANNOT handle touching it under any circumstance and then someone compares your situation to someone else who also hates that thing but has like… exceptions to it that you don’t? CAN PEOPLE STOP DOING THAT IT’S SOOOO ANNOYING

#you can tell I’m ranting because I just experienced this exact moment #like ughhhhhhhhh #just because someone else you know has a similar experience #doesn’t mean that I’M having the same feelings #or whatever #would you tag this as #sensory issues #?????#idk #I’m just annoyed

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mariemariemaria · 4 months

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Does anybody else feel the waves of history crashing over them constantly and like they can't escape the generational trauma that permeates and poisons every interaction they have or do I just need to chill and have a drink lol

#'our day has come and we are here. we are alive here. we've built this place. we suffered and starved here.#we own not an acre of land we belong to it. the land of cú chullain and macha. ní muid 'hungry crocodiles'. we are full.#full of knowledge. and talent. and success.#full of drink. and drugs. and stories.#agus beautiful ceol. that spills on sundays. from the windows of ancient pubs like smoke #tá vóta agam. tá acht Gaeilge agam. agus táimid sa rialtas.#we are the landscape. we are the trees and the rivers and the mountains. an integral piece of someone else's infrastructure.#growing strong between cracks in the concrete.'#and whatever else seán an seanchaí said.....#would recommend his instagram. his posts always hit #ngl tho when men post stuff like this about ireland i always think...do you see the similarities between this and patriarchy tho?#but maybe im better off not knowing the answer #whatever!!! we will persevere!!! we will help one another and build trust and relations and improve no matter what governments say or do!!!#just like generations have been doing before us!!! and we who have benefited from our parents making this place better will work to make it #better for our children. who will make it better for theirs.#and maybe i need to stop shying away from difficult conversations. maybe we all do. and maybe then we'll be okay.#my thoughts on mental health + the north + my own personal experience is such a mish mash of several different things #im only truly starting to realise that it's all connected. yes i got depression because i was lonely and vulnerable. but also because of th #trauma my family's been through. and sometimes i feel so angry thinking about what certain family members have been through #and there has been too much silence surrounding it. but maybe i just have to feel the anger and sadness and allow myself to feel it #but continue reaching out and trying to talk and having cups of tea and walking my dog and making memories.#memories that aren't political or based on trauma. to get out of my head and realise that yes this was a terrible thing #but there's so many good things too. and the best thing i can do is to try to make life better for those who lived through the worst of it #and make society better for those who are too young to know any of it yet.#instagram is actually a tonic for me sometimes. would never get such taig specific posts on here like the one from seán #which is probably a good thing lol

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samadhifire · 2 years

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Still thinking about that ask from yesterday... such a difficult one to answer, and I still don’t know if I’m completely satisfied with it? Either way, :handshake: w/ Red Son & living in a family environment that expects so much of you but no matter what you do, you get next to nothing in return. Just trauma.

#╰ 🔥 ✧ ˖ cries but in blocks ┊ .ooc #child abuse tw #vent //#//KIND OF?#//as someone who has had similar dynamics in their family & is working through a lot of those in her adult life... its a mess.#//you never really know how you feel. you want to despise them for it but theres still part of you that loves them.#//idk man I'm sad. T-T dont worry abt me i'm good just commenting #//but it's just making me think about those kinds of experiences & how they are nearly never easy. that and they're different for each perso #//im still not set on how I feel about stuff w/ MY parents. and honestly he could deal w/ it far differently from how i do #//anyway enough projecting but he definitely spent a good chunk of his childhood thinking he was the issue before anything else #//it wasnt until he met m k and m ei that maybe he started thinking about it? idk #//i answered that a sk very late at night but i still feel it could use a rewrite because god. GOD...#//might d/elete later

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blizzardfluffykpop · 2 months

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I've been working on the same fic for what feels like months because I've wanted already to be out. I craved it being done since the 16th of February when the idea was presented to be by a dear friend. (We rotted so bad because of him...) ANYWAYS 😭😭😭 I'm about to cry happy tears- I finally finished it- I feel exalted tbh- (I forgot to mention it's scheduled for tomorrow at 1030 est~)

If you would like a spoiler for who it is about & what kind of an au it is- and the outfit that ran me insane- See below~

It's a mechanic au with Mr. Kim Younghoon (now originally, he was going to be in dark blue coveralls... (as I had picture him) but then I saw this photo & the performance and I've not been the same). This is Kpopnation: Warsaw, Poland: 230923 (was I only going to use 1? yeah but he: yeah)

#i'm just gonna ramble in the tags no need to read em! (my brain is mush by now)#fic update #fanfic update #kate rambles #this fic has been haunting me it's all i think about yet i've been avoiding it because it just wasn't coming together- it took me about #5 books (altho I did recieve 8)- and 1 diagram- and 2 videos- before i figured it all out- my knowledge only went so far #and it made me so mad- altho i had done similar work on cars- i've never had experiance with the engine in the fic... which led to #my brain melting- when i saw how many belts it originally came with- i was only used to one.... 😭 ff: my 302 engine only has 2 belts #while the boss 302 has 3 originally- (it can be rerouted as you'll see...) anyways- enough of my rambling ebhhbabha #i have lost my mind because of these men and i miss how my ult group gave me crumbs cause these boys don't rest and give me time to #breathe let alone think those mfs... I love them...#and kebbi thank you for implanting this idea in my brain- it's nearly 5k :)#(two fics about the same length... about the same man... yes i can assure you i'm totally normal about him :) )#if you wish to know what actually made me finish it: mayhaps another man may have inspired an idea and I needed this out faster :)#will it just be me reading it because it was an entirely self-indulgent fic? maybe- but mayhaps someone else is into the idea

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neil-gaiman · 10 days

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hhhi Neil

*flops down into your inbox like a deflated cat*

you ever think you have some super original idea, one which you really really wanna turn into a novel, and so you get super excited about it and you start planning and plotting and making up all these things, and you start writing it, but then it turns out it's already been done before so now you feel like you have no option but to run from the Obviously Very Real Copycat Lions that will maul you to shreds if you keep writing your Copycat Story, or is this just a newbie thing?

because. i was -wellistillambutyouknow- really excited about this story i'm working on, especially because it's sort of based on irl experiences i've had so even if the characters aren't real, it does get really personal. but it turns out someone has already done a very very similar concept and i can't help but feel exponentially bummed out, but more than anything, astronomically underleveled for this thing, because this person is already a well known writer and i'm Mr. Nobody From Nowhere. and yea i guess i know i'm just being dramatic and The Copycat Lions are probably not real. but. anxiety is a bitch mann

Sincerely,

my imposter syndrome

Write your story. It won't be anyone else's story.

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libraincarnate · 11 days

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astrology notes: 19 ☼𓂃𓃗𓂃

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

˚♡₊ pisces & them not knowing if something they remembered was from one of their day dreams or an actual dream they had.

˚♡₊ moon or chiron in the 2nd house can indicate an emotional eater. they can be someone who eats for comfort or just because they're bored.

˚♡₊ virgos are known to be judgmental towards other people & things but they’re judgmental towards themselves as well, being that they typically struggle with perfectionism. for this reason, they probably cringe at themselves and the things they’ve done quite often. they can be quite regretful and hard on themselves when they make a mistake. but virgo, you guys are imperfect just like everyone else who has lived and died. and although it may be easier said than done, breathe, live, and just be. try to view as your mistakes as an opportunity to learn & improve.

˚♡₊ asteroid juno (3) in 4th the house can make people think you’re the type to bring home to meet their mom/family.

˚♡₊ uranus in the 2nd, 5th, 8th, and 11th house can cause the native to feel frustrated and experience disturbance in those areas of life that are represented by those aforementioned houses. that’s because uranus is a planet that represents constant change and unpredictability & those houses are fixed houses that represent exactly what the name suggests, it’s fixed, it desires stability and regularity.

˚♡₊ capricorns are known to be controlling/bossy but aquarius tends to have those characteristics too. i’ve often seen it happen with their friends, like they can be the leader of the group and tell people what to do or they make decisions for others. i guess it’s the saturn influence since we know that cap is ruled by saturn & aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn too.

˚♡₊ those with gemini moon are the type to laugh at themselves while they’re crying. and if they’re not, then they’re definitely going through it because it’s often hard for them to take themselves seriously like gemini risings, but in this case it’s more focused on their emotions.

˚♡₊ those with their venus aspecting saturn could be the type that always has a loved one/former loved one, like an ex, coming back even if it’s 6 years later. the person that tries to come back may realize what they had a little too late, they may realize that the loyalty & love you gave them was one of a kind and it’s hard for them to find that same or similar level of stability and commitment elsewhere.

˚♡₊ scorpio risings are lowkey mad funny because of their gemini in the 8th house, but especially if they have planets like sun, mercury, or moon there. & because it’s in the 8th house, it’s not something that many people know about them except for those that are close to them or those they have 8th house synastry with.

^ but when it comes to those with a gem rising or gemini in the 10th house, everyone thinks/knows they’re funny.

˚♡₊ uranus dominants or those with uranus in aspect to mercury/neptune may really enjoy reading/watching sci-fi & dystopian books/movies or tv shows.

˚♡₊ taurus moons are typically blessed with the ability to remain calm & grounded but their emotions can be a bit stubborn and linger for a while. it may take some time for them to get over a breakup or separation from someone they really love.

˚♡₊ those with chiron, pluto, or mercury retrograde in the 5th house could have stage fright. they may dislike doing presentations in school or at work. if they have to do something in the presence of others they’d rather it be in a group. but even if they are in a group, like a small choir, they’d prefer to stand in the back or behind others.

˚♡₊ the house where aries falls in your chart can show you the type of men you usually attract:

in the 1st house, if you’re a girl you may attract men who you’d describe as the male version of you, or men who are childish or younger than you.

in the 3rd house it could be your classmates, those in your neighborhood, or those that you see as more of a brother, even if they’re not related to you. for this reason, you may be quick to friend zone them.

in the 6th house it could be the men at your place of work who are always hitting on you or trying to flirt. or men that have an unexplainable desire to take care of you, they may see you as a damsel in distress.

in the 10th house it could be older men who are already established or successful. maybe you easily attract sugar daddies or men that just want to provide for you whether that be money, opportunities, or guidance.

in the 11th house your male friends may be the ones crushing on you or you attract men from all walks of life, meaning you might be "everyone's" type. even if you're not the type that some of these men may usually go for, they could be willing to ignore that when it comes to you.

in the 12th house you may have a lot of secret admirers and men that often day dream about you but won't tell you.

the attraction could be stronger or more noticeable with planets/asteroids like venus, mars, or eros in aries. & due to the characteristics of aries, these men may find you intimidating and they could be a bit scared to approach you at first, or they could come on to you a bit aggressively, or they just try too hard to get your attention.

˚♡₊ libras are the type to ask you if they should wear this or that, just to choose the opposite of what you chose or they’ll go and ask someone else 😂. sometimes another person’s input is helpful & sometimes it only makes them even more indecisive.

if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

#astrology #astrology notes #astro notes #astrology observations #astro observations #libraincarnate

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r3ynah · 3 months

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What's wrong with clones? what's wrong with me?

Dani was greatful for her mom, she was greatful that he was supportive and living when she first met him, and even after the fight she was happy that Danny didn't throw her away with hatred in his eyes, she would've understand it nonetheless, just imagine someone assaulting your DNA to make a copy of you? it was traumatizing or the both parties, based on experience.

But if it wasn't for Danny, she wouldn't be here at this place were she stands. It has been about 20 years since she was born, and her mom step backed from heroism and passed it down to her which she accepted with pride. Her mom deserves a break.

And without her she wouldn't be part of the Justice League, and wouldn't be meeting all this amazing people, they have loved dani and took care of her ever since she joined. and she was happy. what more could she ask for? well she was a bit lonely afterall.. and that was selfish of her, she already have her mom, her friends, what else could she even ask for?

Dani, Hero name Wraith, walked down the halls of the watchtower when she heard a ruckus in one of the meeting rooms, letting her curiosity get the best of her she took a peek in the room, where she found a bunch of Heroes surrounding a boy that looks a little too much like Superman. and Superman in the corner holding his head in stress? Agony? Dani doesn't know.

She stepped into the room, only for Wonder woman to notice her, She gave Dani a wave which she returned with a smile, she moved near Wonder woman in curiosity and asked: "What's going on? why's the Adults surrounding a kid?"

Wonder woman looked at her with a stare she didn't understand, before she answered. "He's a clone of Superman, we found him trying to kill the man, just last week, and this is the first time he's let out." She explained while pointing at the kid.

Dani let out a gasp of delight, "Really? Holy shit. I got to talk to the kid!" Before Diana could stop the girl she was already at the new clone's side, pushing the other heroes away.

The Clone angrly stared at the new person, infront of him. "What you'll interrogate me too?."

"What? Why would you think that?" Dani giggled as she circled the boy, her eyes darting back and forward to superman and the boy to see the similarities. "Ancients, you really look like Superman, what's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean by that?" The kid asked very confused.

"I mean you're healthy and fine, i don't get why the league is going haywire towards you." Wraith chuckled, as she floated upside down infront of the kid.

Silence embraced the room, as the sound of a steel chair echoed throughout the room.

"Didn't you hear what Wonder Woman said Wraith?" Superman walked big steps towards the two making other heroes take a step back, from the man of steel. "It's a clone."

"okay, Okay, Wait i feel i said something wrong?" Dani returned to her normal position, making sure she's not levitating upside anymore as she looked at older man infront of her in confusion. "What's the problem here?"

The room was quiet huh that was unusual with, there was a thick atmosphere that you can cut it with a knife.

"The problem? This is the problem." Superman angrily stated as he pointed at the kid, who looked ready to fight the man infront of him any second now.

"What? superman i don't get its just a clone and a child-" Wraith was cut off rudely. by the man infront of him.

"Ofcourse you don't get it, you don't get how it feels to be cloned, you don't get how traumatizing it is for your DNA to be stolen, That is not a child." Superman snapped, making Dani take a step back. "So stop acting like its a normal kid, that thing will never be like us, because its a mistake created by some lousy villain, who tried to stop and kill me, clones don't deserve love nor respect, and they certainly don't deserve families. Now Stop acting like you get it."

Silence, surrounded the room as Superman finished letting his anger out at Wraith who stared at him wide eyed confusion seen her face, she looked at her peers who only looked apologetic and those who looked down the floor and then there was batman

she shifted her gaze towards the, boy who she can see was trembling, The boy was crying. oh no. no. please don't cry.

"I get it." Wraith stated, keeping her ground, only babies cry she wasn't a baby now, she grew out of that phase.

She returned her gaze back at Superman who still was looking at her. it really looked like he didn't mean to snap at her. But that shit Hurt who knew he had it him, is this what Danny felt when he found out about her, was he in reality sick of her? no. No. Danny loved her, he said so himself.

"Wraith please no-" Wonder woman, called out trying not to get the girl in more trouble.

"No. I get it. I'm really sorry for you Superman, and how you got traumatized by some of your DNA getting stollen, I am really. But with all due respect you can't treat him like a thing, because he's a clone." Wraith spoke back, now more confident than ever. the kid perked up from this and raised his head, he was really crying.

"And what do you know about that? Wraith." Oh no Hero names, She knew she struck a nerve, Superman was back at being angry.

"What I know, is that you're right, clones don't deserve love and respect, clones don't deserve anyone because all they do is hurt and destroy." For a second everyone thought Wraith changed sides. Wraith glared at superman, he wanted her to agree with him, oh she'll agree with him alright. "Clones like me, don't deserve anything."

"What?"

Everyone in the room was shocked but to scared to speak, afraid to start something.

"Thank you, Superman. For showing me that I didn't deserve my mom, Because to be honest you're fucking right, all I did for my mom was pain and agony." Dani was now raising her voice, at the man infront of her.

"You're a clone?" Superman managed to ask, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline.

"Hell yeah, And you know what age he got me. Fourteen, He became my mom at the age of fourteen, he took care of me at the age of fourteen, he loved me like his own daughter at the age of fourteen" Wraith laughed out loud, tears threatening to stream down her face. "You know what's funny superman? I tried to also murder him, I tried to also kill my template. And yet he took me in, and said that it wasn't my fault. it wasn't my fault that i was born, It was never my fault, he comforted me as i cried to him about my other brothers who i watched slowly die and melt apart infront of my eyes, he didn't hate, he didn't isolate, he only loved and cared."

Wraith was now crying. as she gritted her teeth.

"Wrait-"

"you we're right. I didn't deserve my mom. if he had just killed me from the start, he would've been more happy and not worry about me, My mom is the kindest being in the world in my own eyes, and he'd done everything for me ever since he was fourteen." Dani looked down at the ground, with clenched hands. "I was born as a six years old, but in reality i was only two months old. it's funny how im the same age right now when my mom first had me. My body maybe 20, but my brain is 14, keep that in mind Superman."

She looked around her peers, but couldn't see anyone but her reflection in those glass walls, she's crying, she didn't want to cry. "You've been hating on that kid, but Superman let me remind you that kid." She looked at the child who was still sitting on the chair but now with a look of confusion, eyes red from crying. "Is only a few months old despite its physical appearance, you've been hating on a newborn baby, like a deadbeat dad, and that's just sad."

Dani can hear a snort in the background. She swore that sounded like her mom.

Superman looked defeated and guilty, Dani was tired she wanted to cry, in the arms of her mom, but she can't leave the other kid here, so she made a rash decision. "If you don't want him, I'll take him."

Protest engulfed the meeting room, but Dani didn't care, she passed Superman and headed towards the black haired kids, direction. "Wanna come with me?" she asked, while having her hand out for him to take.

The kid looked at her hand, before grabbing it. Dani smiled and summoned a portal, she took the kid with her, her mother's not gonna like this and she might take a break from JL a couple of months, Oh well its all worth it.

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ecoterrorist-katara · 2 months

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Zutara, romance novels, and the female gaze

Okay so I’ve been thinking about the female gaze a LOT so I checked out a subreddit about romance novels, despite never having read one. I came across this meme (which was initially a Tumblr post and then got posted to Instagram and then to Reddit and I’m now bringing back to Tumblr — Internet telephone, pls never change):

And…what is The Southern Raiders, if not a platonic grovel? Katara’s pain is central to the episode. It’s central to Zuko. Zuko asks Katara what he can do to make up for his betrayal; she demands the impossible. He reads between the lines, cockblocks her brother to get the necessary information, and then waits outside her door overnight (which he also did for Iroh, the one person we know for sure he loves). He basically makes himself a receptacle for her rage, and he holds space for her by coming with her on her revenge quest and carrying their bags and not saying a damn thing about what she should and should not do beyond like…asking her to rest. And obviously the grovel works! She forgives him and then they’re thick as thieves, bantering and fighting and saving each other’s lives, etc.

On a different note, I’ve been told that enemies to lovers is one of the biggest tropes in romance novels, similar to YA lit and fanfic. Here’s something else I found in the romance novel discourse:

And…yeah. In TSR, Katara really does show Zuko her worst self, because she doesn’t feel the need to perform for him. She doesn’t feel the need to perform moral perfection OR cold blooded vengeance. She bloodbends in front of him and he just goes with it. She doesn’t kill Yon Rha and he just goes with it. He doesn’t treat her any differently afterwards. Maybe they talk about it off screen, but I kind of like the idea that they don’t, because Katara doesn’t need to explain anything. And it’s so interesting, because some people in the ATLA fandom have a totally different read on TSR. They think Zuko was encouraging Katara to get revenge (by what, keeping his mouth shut?), and that Aang is the one who acts as her moral compass. I believe that either Bryan or Mike said in the DVD commentary that Aang is the angel on her shoulder the entire time. And this interpretation does make sense if you see it from the male gaze, where Katara as an object of affection is acting in an angry, irrational, threatening way. But if you see it from the female gaze, you recognize that actually it’s probably the most emotionally taxing experience Katara has to go through, and she doesn’t owe it to be nice or perfect to anybody. Katara’s formative trauma literally comes to a head, and she has to make a decision — no, a discovery — about who she is in relation to the tragedy that defines her life and even her identity (as a waterbender, as a parentified child who becomes the mom friend, as a genocide victim), and she’s accompanied by someone who trusts her judgement and validates her feelings.

I’m not saying TSR is explicitly romantically coded, but when it conforms so well to romance novel tropes…is it any wonder that so many people thought “yes this is her man?” And then he takes lightning in the heart for her and reaches for her when he’s literally dying, I will never be normal about that either

#Zutara #Katara #Zuko #the southern raiders #Pro zutara #anti Bryke #I guess #I swear I’m not a Bryke anti but I feel like they just don’t get #The female gaze #and the fact that Zutara is so female gaze is kind of an accident and I find that fascinating #atla fandom critical #The southern raiders turned me into a Zutara shipper #one ep away from the finale #Zutara meta #My meta

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elvensorceress · 26 days

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In all the excitement about bi!Buck, (which— yay! Amazing! Very exciting! No notes!) I think there’s a part of this story we’re missing. I haven’t seen anyone talk about it, so have some rambling.

It wasn’t just Buck who looked at this experienced, older, queer man and wanted to know him. It was also Eddie.

We have never seen Eddie go so hard, so immediately for anyone. To the point his best friend of years felt like he was being ignored by him. Yes, Buck wanted Tommy’s attention for obvious reasons. But he was also slighted by the perceived lack of attention from Eddie.

Suddenly, Eddie is spending multiple times a week going out with this man. Going to Vegas with this man. Working out with him, working on his car with him, doing karaoke and trivia night with him? Asking his alleged girlfriend to babysit more than once so that he can go out with Tommy? Obviously, it was from jealous!Buck’s point of view, but seriously. If Buck felt ignored, what is Marisol even thinking? Did Eddie bother to make time for his new girlfriend? What spare time would he even have if they work several 24 hour shifts and he’s also gone out with Tommy at least three times in one week? And is probably planning more?

Not that I think Eddie’s feelings for Tommy are necessarily in the same vein as Buck’s feelings for Tommy. But my gosh, Eddie giggly and kicking his feet and twirling his hair while on the phone with Tommy was so very loud. And actually a pretty neat contrast to being distracted and trying to text Marisol “hey mari it me eddie” to ask her out. Eddie’s sudden infatuation with Tommy was a thousand times more than anything we’ve seen from him for anyone. Considering that what he stated he wanted was the magical chemistry he’d found when he and Shannon got together, like… is that not what he just found with Tommy?

Again, it doesn’t necessarily mean Eddie has any explicit romantic or sexual attraction toward Tommy. I suppose he could? But the point is more that wow, there is some kind of intense draw pulling Eddie to him even if we interpret it as platonic.

Buck says at the end of the ep that they met this guy and he was so cool and Buck wanted to get to know him. Which makes sense given that Buck is canonically crushing on him and going to be dating him. But Eddie was actually the one who got there first. Eddie also had a reaction somewhere along those lines of “he’s really cool, I need to know him” to the point where he’s all of a sudden spending most if not all of his free time with him.

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this person Eddie wants to spend time with is an experienced, out queer man who is comfortable in his own sexuality and his own masculinity. (He has so much in common with Eddie! They have so many similar interests! They have a magical click together that makes Eddie want to be around him all the time! There’s so much they can do together!)

Eddie might not have even known it, maybe in the same way Buck also didn’t know it, but Eddie definitely latched onto that, too. Which is very interesting, no? Very— queers finding each other and bonding over shared experiences even before they know that’s what they’re doing.

It can easily be someone who is likely confused about their own feelings but knows they are having certain feelings just not the names to put to those feelings, and consequently seeking guidance and reassurance that there are other people who are just like them who have these feelings as well. It’s realizing how they can be themselves, that they can be queer in a way that fits who they are instead of what they might conceptualize as queer because of stereotypes and preconceived notions. It’s learning you can be you and also be queer. That there are people like you out there.

Eddie found something with Tommy that he hasn’t been shown to have found anywhere else. It’s a new and different thing for him, too. And if it were just about excitement over a new friend, why is it so much so quickly all at once? Eddie’s a social person. He’s a friendly, charming, charismatic person. He has friends. But it feels like this is a very different sort of friendship for him.

And the fact that this is the same man who just gave Buck his bisexual awakening is verrrry inch resting.

Also regardless of what kind of feelings Eddie and Tommy might have been having for each other, they were so going on dates. Flying someone to Vegas because you have tickets that have been sold out for weeks to something they enjoy? Like damn Eddie. You pulled a sugar daddy.

Anyway. Eddie is queer, too. Double sexuality awakenings, ready go!

That is all! 💕

#911 #Eddie Diaz #911 on abc #911 abc #911 meta #yes I'm an Eddie girlie(gn) through and through

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genderkoolaid · 2 years

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y'know the thing a lot of people who worry about "well if we just let ANYBODY be queer what will happen!!" don't talk about is like. what will probably happen if some cisgender heterosexual calls themself queer for X reason is that they will go to an inclusive queer space and listen to other people and discuss their own unique perspectives on issues. like a cishet ace might hear a gay man talk about feeling broken and ashamed and go "oh I've had a similar experience being ace!" and everyone else will get a chance to learn about how being ace changes your experiences with sexuality. if someone comes in and says "i'm queer because i'm autistic" and then talks about how their autism & experiences with ableism has impacted their interactions with gender in society, everyone will get a chance to learn how neurodivergence can change how you internalize gender and how ableism is often directly tied to gender.

the thing is, people will use shocking phrases like "oh so a cishet autistic person is queer now?? so a cishet incel is queer now???" because they have a very bitter and small-minded view of sexuality and gender. they are (not in a societal power sense, but in a moral/rhetoric sense) no better than conservative cisgender heterosexuals who lose their mind at butch lesbians and cis men wearing nail polish.

because what happens when a person says they are queer and get let in to queer spaces just on that is... they learn about other people and other people learn about them. if they act like an asshole they get educated and if they keep doing it they get kicked out. people who understand the radical nature of queerness should also understand that if someone says they are "queer", they probably have put thought into that and have a reason for feeling that way, and by letting them into queer spaces you have an opportunity to learn more about experiences outside of your own. and you get to help a person! it's a win-win scenario for everyone!

if someone says "i'm queer because of [wild crazy thing]," my reaction is going to be, "cool, i'd love to know more about how you came to identify as queer, i'm sure you have some really interesting things to say about queerness based on your experiences!" it's that simple. queerness is vague and unique and constantly shifting, and we all have more to learn about aspects of it. if someone finds comfort and solidarity in calling themself queer, then i'm sure we have some interesting things to talk about and learn from each other! nobody knows everything and humans can't be put in perfect boxes.

#m.

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andivmg · 2 months

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speak up andi, I beg of you, you have been mistreated the most here, I know it took shubble a lot of courage but she has helped so many people

i want to start this off by saying it is not a competition and i do not want to compare my experience to anybody else’s. shubble is so fucking strong and i admire her and everyone else who has spoken up about experiencing abuse endlessly.

DISCLAIMER 1

this is way longer than i intended it to be. i did not plan to go into as much depth as i did but the words just kinda kept coming and i kept thinking that if someone else is in a similar situation to the one i was in, it would be good to point out even some of the smaller details so that they can see that these behaviors are not something to be overlooked and could be a symptom of a bigger issue… idk. i apologize for how lengthy and wordy this is but i hope it all makes sense somehow

DISCLAIMER 2

a lot of you know who one of my exes is and i am asking you to please not make this about him. i am simply sharing my experience with some of my past relationships in hopes that they help someone else. i beg of you, do not go on twitter making threads speculating on whatever because it’s just going to cause me a bunch of problems and i don’t want this to be brought to his attention. if you share my story, please do not do it with the intent of starting drama. if you share my story, focus on the behaviors i am talking about instead of trying to figure out if it’s about him.

DISCLAIMER 3

this goes without saying but i’ll put it here anyway: i will be talking about toxic relationships, mention of self harm, mention of sex, implied violence. if any of these topics are triggering to you please scroll away, protect yourself.

I have been in a lot of relationships, but there are 4 that i would truly identify as the ones who had the biggest impact on me. Two of those i would consider emotional mistreatment. I don’t want to say i was abused for reasons that i will be discussing with my therapist this week, but i can certainly say i was mistreated. For the sake of privacy, i will be referring to these two dudes as 1 and 6.

I think the biggest difference between 1 and 6 is that 6 was obsessed with me to the point where i felt like i was being suffocated, whereas i’m not sure if 1 ever cared about me in the first place.

6 and i started out pretty normally. we had a bunch of friends in common and we were around the same people. so eventually, we became friends too. we would text and call all the time until feelings developed into a relationship. in the beginning he was really sweet and caring, saying all the right things that got me falling head over heels. now, something important to note is that i am someone who has always had a lot of guy friends. when i was little and in school, my mom made friends with a bunch of other moms and those moms were boy moms, so i grew up surrounded by boys. i bring this up because 6 didn’t like my guy friends. actually, i think he just didn’t like the fact that i had guy friends at all. so, whenever i would hang out with my friends, it was a problem. so this resulted in me never being able to go out or hang out with my friends unless he was there. then it got worse. before we started dating he had decided to cut back on drinking and to stop smoking. so because of this, i decided that i wouldn’t drink or smoke around him in solidarity. this was not enough for him. i had to stop drinking and smoking altogether. so once, when i was hanging out with my girl friends we decided to stay in and get wine drunk. we posted about it on our private stories on snap and once he saw, 6 called me arguing and yelling at me because i was drinking and posting about it on my story for “attention”. after this incident, i was no longer allowed to hang out with my friends because they were a “bad influence”. he also didn’t like the clothes i wore. sorry, let me reiterate: he didn’t like my clothes when he wasn’t around. it was perfectly fine for me to wear a short dress… if i was with him. i was not allowed to wear “revealing” clothing if he wasn’t around. mind you, none of the clothes i wore were revealing, it’s not my fault i’m hot yk? he took over my life. who i talked to, what i did, what i wore, where i would go, it was all up to him. my life no longer belonged to me. and at the time, i was okay with that. i didn’t realize that he had so much control over everything. i was young and naïve and he convinced me that he knew what was best for me. that he had lived more than i had and experienced more than i had and that he knew better. he was so good at making everything my fault and making him the hero or victim depending on the situation. i got catcalled on the street? “because you were wearing that fucking dress again, andrea you know how that looks. of course you got catcalled. this is why you can’t wear things like that when i’m not around to protect you”. I decided to have a fun night in with my friends and get drunk? “i just don’t understand why you would be posting yourself on your private story like that. you’re drunk and vulnerable. why do you want other people, other guys, to see you like that? and you know i’ve cut back on drinking so how do you think it makes me feel to see that? don’t you love me enough to do this for me?” the worst part is i believed him. because, in the beginning, he helped me so much and i looked up to him so much, surely he had my best interests at heart, right? this relationship went on for way longer than it should have. you may be asking yourself, how did you leave? if you were so in love with him and entranced by him to the point where he consumed you, why did you leave? he raised his hand. that’s what got me to finally leave. a year after we broke up, i found out that he was drinking, smoking, and doing all kinds of shit he told me he wasn’t throughout our entire relationship. he was awful, and i’m really proud of myself for being strong enough to leave when i did. i’m also really grateful for my friends, who stuck out that whole train wreck with me. who i lashed out against in order to protect him and defend him. they stuck by me through it all and i don’t know where i would be without them so shoutout to them lmfao.

1 was a bit more complicated. it started out in a similar way. we had the same friends, hung out around the same people, so it was only a matter of time until we became friends too. we would call and text every day until feelings were developed. at least i developed feelings, i’m still not sure he did. i told him this and i don’t remember how the conversation went but basically we had decided that we were talking as more than friends now. enough time went by where i was ready for it to become a relationship and i communicated that to him. looking back, i think he felt pressured into the relationship by me and by our friends. anyway we started dating and everything was fine. we would hang out and talk all the time but i felt like he was bored or disinterested by me, so i would constantly beg for his attention. i became this needy clingy version of myself that i hated. it felt like when we would hang out, he was always distracted by something else. i basically felt invisible to him. that is, when i wasn’t hanging out with my guy friends. similarly to 6, 1 did not like my guy friends or the fact that i had guy friends in the first place. i had a guy best friend at the time who is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. let’s call him S. S and 1 were acquainted with each other, hung out in the same circles etc. but 1 still didn’t like him. sometimes, whenever 1 was busy doing whatever he did when he wasn’t with me, i would hang out with S, we would watch shows together and just talk. Some days, it felt like i talked to S more than my own boyfriend. this did not sit well with 1. he would ask “why the fuck are you always hanging out with him?” to which i would reply “maybe if you hung out with me more, i wouldn’t have so much free time to spend with him” (toxic ik but what can i say? i was feeling neglected). so you can see what problems this caused. eventually i cut S off. I stopped talking to him completely and i haven’t spoken to him since. Back to 1. even after cutting off my best friend, nothing really changed. He didn’t spend much time with me and whenever we would, i felt like he couldn’t wait to go off and do something else. this got exhausting. at that point i was begging him to love me, to pay attention to me, to care about me. this led to us breaking up. he broke up with me over text. it read, and i quote, “i think we aren’t meant for each other. i think you deserve someone that will treat you better than i do. I don’t think i’m in love with you and i tried to force myself to love you because i thought that’s what i wanted but i really don’t think it is. we started this relationship when i was just tired of being alone and i really just don’t think it is right anymore. i don’t think i am attracted to you. I am sorry, i really didn’t know how to end this and this probably isn’t the best way to do it but it’s time”. The relationship went on for another six months after this. granted, i should have had more self respect and never gotten back together with him but it is what it is. so after he told me that he didn’t love me and that he wasn’t attracted to me, we stayed “friends”. which basically meant that we did everything that a relationship involved. without actually being in a relationship. that is, until one of his friends hit me up. there was some flirtation going on but nothing serious. i was still in love with 1 but, at the time, i was in desperate need for attention and his buddy was there to provide it. when i told 1 about it he flipped out, called me all kinds of crazy and decided he was done with me. his friend and i talked about it and poked fun at the fact that he broke up with me but got mad at someone else paying attention to me. when 1 saw this (he ended up forcing me to show him the screenshots of the conversation) he was even more pissed and even more done with me. the next day he called me and we were basically back together again.

however, this time, i was meant to earn his affection. because i did something so unforgivable and atrocious, he was basically in the clear to treat me like shit. and he did. he would cancel plans to go hang out with his friends. he would only come over late at night, even when i had class the next day. i was basically at his mercy. we only hung out when he decided. we only spoke when he wanted to. i honestly can’t even recall us going on any date after that incident, save for one dinner. in short, i was not a priority to him. this, combined with some other stuff, really took at toll on my mental health. i entered a deep depression and began self-harming after being clean for 3 years. i sought out help and found a wonderful therapist who really helped me. but, 1 only saw this as one more problem. when we hung out he would complain that i was too sad. important note: because of that text he sent me i was incredibly insecure. so, little arguments would always end up escalating because i felt like he literally did not care about me and he would just keep making me feel like shit about being depressed. whenever we argued (which was very often) it would end in me locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing, nearly throwing up, while he was on his phone. i remember one specific argument started because he asked me if i would leave him for harry styles and i jokingly said yes (i am not and have never been attracted to harry styles). that argument escalated to the point where we almost broke up and he said to me “you should warn people before they fall in love with you that you are so mentally ill. because you’re always going to bring down the mental state of who you’re with”. he used my mental health against me like that a lot. whenever i would bring up something i wanted him to do or something that i didn’t like, he would call me needy, clingy, and say that he was trying his best but that i needed too much, that i was too much. all i wanted was reassurance. looking back, that’s all i ever asked for. whenever i would ask him if he loved me he would say “well i’m with you aren’t i?”. this is the same man who decided to go to vegas with his friends on my birthday after he promised he wouldn’t. this is the same man who said that he didn’t love me. the same one who said he wasn’t attracted to me. the same man who i would catch looking at other girl’s (some being his “friends”) provocative pictures on twitter. (this is definitely tmi so i’m just going to put a bunch of asterisks at the end of the tmi so you can skip there if you don’t want to read it) but there was a long period of time in our relationship where we had zero intimacy, and it wasn’t because of me. this fucked with my head a lot because i had this idea that because i was so emotional and needy that i could compensate physically. but when that stopped, my thoughts looked something like “the only thing i was useful for was sex and now he doesn’t even want that from me”.************whenever i remember this, a part of me thinks he might’ve been cheating on me during that time, but i have no proof so i guess we’ll never know. also during that time period, we were arguing over the same things over and over “it feels like you don’t love me” “but i’m hanging out with you” “that’s not the same as loving me” “you’re so fucking needy. and then you wonder why i don’t like coming over”. it was exhausting. we had the same friend group. and even our friends got so sick of us that they would tell me to break up with him. this went on for months until one day, on our one year anniversary, he told me that his plans for the day included playing video games. nothing else. that’s when i broke up with him. that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. i just couldn’t do it anymore.

we stayed friends afterwards in order to keep the peace within the friend group. after about a month, he told me he was going to do better. he said he was going to start going to the gym, and maybe even going to therapy, that he was going to eat better and live a better lifestyle for me. he said he was going to plan dates for us and treat me the way i deserved etc. very much vibes from that one euphoria scene. but i was done. maybe i didn’t communicate that well enough to him and that’s my fault. but i was really confused at the time and i didn’t know what i wanted. eventually we had a conversation and that’s when i told him that i was no longer interested in a relationship. i think i just didn’t believe him anymore. i didn’t believe that he would change for me or anyone else for that matter. through the entire relationship he was mean to me, he neglected me, belittled me, and overall made me feel like shit at worst and invisible at best. even when i would offer to plan things or suggest activities for us to do together, he would be disinterested the entire time or just cancel and make plans with his friends instead. and of course it was all my fault for one, flirting with his friend that one time, and two, just not being interesting enough. he made it feel like i wasn’t good enough, and at the same time victimized himself. he would tell me “nothing i do is ever good enough for you” while i was the one putting in all the effort in the relationship. then he would go “well why would i put in effort with you? remember when you were flirting with [redacted]? I still think about that and it fucks me up”. mind you, he would only bring this up whenever i brought up any concerns or issues. anyway, as you can tell it took me a really long time to realize that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy and i’m really proud of myself, again, for having the strength to leave and never look back. i think one of the reasons why it took me so long to realize that i was being mistreated was because everyone around him loved him. and to me it was hard to see how someone that was so well liked could be bad. so i felt like i was the problem. i felt like there was something wrong with me and if i just fixed that, then he would treat me better and love me and care about me. it took a lot of therapy to realize that he just wasn’t that into me. i was like a toy to him that he could just pay attention to when he was bored but ignore me the rest of the time. but then, when someone else showed interest in me he would suddenly care and be like “no she’s mine, you can’t have her”. he didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me and that was the bottom line. that was the base off all the problems and toxicity that happened while we were together.

in conclusion, both of these men were awful in their own unique ways. i hope that by sharing this, someone who is in a similar situation will see it and identify these behaviors as something to watch out for. i hope that someone will see it and realize that they are not alone, and that they are not the first person to go through it, and that it gets better. these events all happened over two years ago and now i am in a beautiful and healthy relationship, i’m studying something that i am passionate about, and i am surrounded by people who love, care about, and support me. i am in a much happier place now and you will find that too, whoever you might be <3

#andianswers #i might’ve given myself a migraine with this one

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heartelysia · 3 months

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busy thinking of...

toxic ex! gojo who only broke up with you because he needed to move on! at least he thought he did until you did move on without him, leaving him in the dust. he tries his best to forget about you! he really does, sinking his head into his palms the same way hes sinking his cock into the girl below him. but nothing feels good, nothing can make the aching emptiness in his chest go away, not if its not you.

god he didnt even notice how intoxicated he was with you until you left. you were everything he needed to fucking survive and you just up and left like your three year long relationship was nothing? toxic ex! gojo who will do anything for you back, buying a cup of overpriced coffee at your regular place just to bump heads with you every single day, buying you random flowers and leaving them in your break room of your workplace, texting you non stop even when you blocked most of his accounts.

toxic ex! gojo whos anger boils in the pit of his stomach when you rejected all of his advances, blaming you for all wrongdoings because this would've never happened if you loved him more! he would've mever broken up with you, he wouldnt have to go to the earths ledge for a tiny spark in your 'relationship', he would never have to end up with a fucking restraining order.

hes mad. hes mad that you moved on, hes angry that you left him without begging to stay together, hes furious that your life isn't in shambles. toxic ex! gojo needs you dependant on him, he cant just have you wandering off to another person so easily next time. so he does what any sane person does and stalks you from a distance until the restraining order expires, watching your life unfold in his hollow blue eyes.

dear lord knows how many things toxic ex! gojo has done to try and forget you but nothing seemed to work! from getting into multiple relationships, getting a brand new job in an area he has no experience in to travelling the world, yet everything he did seemed to remind him of your sweet smile.

as any other human being would do, as soon as the document hits its end, he shreds it up and makes his way to your home. you seemed too happy, forgetting about your ex entirely, getting random flings, meeting some new dude called toji, going on dates with said man. toxic ex! gojo couldnt allow that, you were his. you were his property even if you didnt know it and gojo didnt like sharing his property with others.

toxic ex! gojo who couldnt help but notice how many of your flings resembled him, personality or appearance wise, there was always something similar to your ex. that was until toji came into the picture, he was nothing like gojo and your ex felt his veins bulge in irritation. he was your first everything - from hand holding, kissing, picnic dates to sex - so you should still be with him!

he needed you back, he needed you to crawl back to him and plead for forgiveness but that never came. toxic ex! gojo who would break into your apartment when youre on dates with the new man, scoffing when he realizes you still left a spare copy of the keys behind the painting hanging above your door. god you were so easy. when hes inside your apartment, hes hit with the fattest wave of nostalgia.

he instantly heads into your shabby room that gojo stayed in whenever, inhaling the scent of your sweetness like it was an addictive drug. he swears theres a hint of his musk but it might just be someone elses considering its been two years. toxic ex! gojo didnt like that. he fucking hated that idea.

maybe thats how he ended up here, his voice whiny and airy as he desperately humps your pillow as he shoves his nose into the area where it covered your cunt. his poor cock was aching, his tip a burning red colour as the veins running down his thick cock throbbed each time he took a whiff of your panties. god he was so needy, after months of being unable to reach a satisfactory climax, just the feeling of rutting his hips into your pillow that you used daily made precum dribble out of his cock in buckets.

whilst youre happily on the date with toji, gojo is busy having seconds by staining any and all surface in his cum discreetly. he thinks hes never came this much just from masturbating, his balls wrung dry to the core just by the memory of your sweet cunt sloppily making a mess all over his balls and pelvis.

but when the front door of your apartment creaks open, gojo freezes, unable to hide the initial shock on his face. why were your sobs filling the silence?

part 2

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