#just quite shaken

[strange-aether]

my poor cat Merlin has trauma around paper bags from when he was just a kitten and jumped into a paper bag and he didn’t know yet about things like momentum and inertia and the fact that a paper bag is a very light object.

he made a terrible miscalculation.

he flew right into the paper bag at top speed and the paper bag kept going at top speed, smack into a wall. because my boy has a charmed life, that’s One Of The Worst Things That Ever Happened To Him. now whenever he hears paper bags he gets scared, though.

#the other worst thing was when I accidentally ALMOST ran over his tail with my office chair #it's when he was extremely small and little #I think the office chair juuust got a couple of his tail furs and he SCREAMED bloody murder #he also um. well he *expressed* himself. #as in he expressed his stink glands #the only time he has ever done that #and BOY was that bad #he ran away under the couch and I would have let him be but I had to fish him out to make sure the poor thing wasn't hurt at all #I checked him over and he was all fine but he sure got freaked out #BUT he did learn a valuable lesson from that #now he's careful not to hang out around my office chair when I'm scooching #but I was SOBBING because I felt TERRIBLE #the way he screamed I was sure I'd REALLY hurt him but he was alright #just quite shaken #poor tender little thing #he trusts me now at least #even after all that

[ferahntics]

I have several problems and I’m not ashamed of them.

Comic below!

#i do not doubt magolor was badly badly shaken up after the whole crown possession thing that quite literally scorched his body #also despite being really hard #magolor soul is so fun to draw #also i just wanted to draw them being soft cause i am weak #mine #my art #inki #magolor #magolor soul #kirby #kirby oc #fan character #kirby's return to dreamland #kirby's return to dreamland deluxe #maginki #oc x canon

[itspileofgoodthings]

also I had this moment when my high anxiety kicked in and I was like. about to undo everything and every conclusion I reached and I just heard “your God is a faithful God” in my mind and then I cried

#and like. I still had another wave of anxiety the next day??? #like the storms still came and have not quite subsided even now #but also I just had this flash of revelation that God is not trying to trick me or embarrass me #or trap me. and He didn’t make me not to be myself #or not to use my gifts or stay frozen in place #and the gifts are smaller than I thought. I am smaller. my own importance (in my mind) shaken up #and yet I am loved and seen so clearly and so deeply and I am not meant to be different #or twist myself into knots that feel impossible or that make me feel like I’m being suffocated #idk I’m rambling. It’s been a lot. A LOT. SO MUCH. there has never been more #and I know I say that a lot. anyway thanks for listening #it’s nice to be in England seeing beautiful things and drinking tea

[akkivee]

For the next BAT audio drama I kinda hope they put Kuukou through the horrors, I love Kuukou and all but I want to know what the absolute fuck is his problem. I really hope we get to finally find out what happened to Mama Harai. What I think happened to Mama Harai is something involving the ocean, I always found it ironic that Kuukou dislikes the ocean considering where he lives so I thought maybe that has to do with Mama Harai not being around.

all i want is for kuukou to have fun and live life but yeah, we have reached the point where it’ll be straight bizarre if we don’t get his backstory lol. kuukou enjoying nature to the point he takes solace in it but dislikes the ocean is soooo telling

and so i hope it’s mama harai too lol!!!!! whether the drama is she gave kuukou a reason to hate the ocean, or is the reason he hates smoking and alcohol, or is the reason he naturally turns to self sacrifice, or all of the above!!!!! i would like to know lol!!!!!

#vee got an ask #i saw a post that mentioned hypmic likes to make their very obvious soulmates the same age #with rosasa and dohifu being quite literally in your face lol and you look at them with their similar goals and experiences #and turn to ichiro and kuukou who are also the same age and have been called soulmates in the stage and it makes you wonder lol #we just found out mama yamada is still alive and is likely going to be a source of conflict in some capacity for ichiro down the road #with rosasa dual dealing with rei shit and dohifu dual dealing with honobono #it makes me wonder if ichikuu will be dual dealing with mommy drama lol #idk whether to assume she’s alive and left kuukou or she’s dead #and that’s mostly bc nemu is also 19 and her mother died by su*cide after protecting her kids #which is something i’ve been wondering about kuukou’s self sacrifice as a skewed version of su*cide this is a whole thought process lmao #but ichiro being shaken by sacrifice likely bc of his mom and kuukou very willing to stake his life on the line may also stem from his mom #and that tells me she’s probably not alive #which would make sense since the most pivotal people in bat’s lives are also not alive lol 😭😭😭 #like big fear for me is that she couldn’t stand temple life and drowned herself in the ocean #and kuukou with his uncanny ability to be in the right place watched it happen unable to save her and almost died himself trying #i have questions lol!!!!!! it’d be nice if i finally got SOME answers!!!!!!!!!!!

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer OT3 Week, Day Six: No One Wants To Leave The Cuddle Pile

The penultimate day of OT3 Week, courtesy of @ot3-week, and we have a fairly soft prompt to go with it -- "No one wants to leave the cuddle pile!" Because why would you? :p This one also said "Modern!AU" to me, so here we have Victor, Alice, and Smiler hanging out together at Victor's in a blanket nest. And while no one WANTS to leave the cuddle pile, a certain someone feels he HAS to... (Oh, and again, a warning for slight kinkiness at the end -- it's not even as explicit as the Day Four prompt, but the last line makes it clear where this is going. XD)

--

“I really should get up.”

“No, you really shouldn’t,” Smiler instantly retorted, snuggling their head more firmly into Victor’s chest as they continued playing phone Solitaire. In their peripheral vision, they spotted Alice put one of her legs over Victor’s, silently echoing the sentiment without looking up from her book.

“I should,” Victor insisted, though without much force behind it. “I promised my mother that I’d look at those photos she sent me of Duke Melbourne’s party, and I haven’t gotten to them yet.”

“Sod your mother,” Alice said, wriggling into Victor’s side. “I’m comfortable.”

“Same,” Smiler agreed, glancing up at Victor’s – well, mostly his chin from this angle. “We spent a half-hour getting this pillow nest together, and I’m not getting up until I’m good and ready.”

“I didn’t say either of you two had to get up,” Victor pointed out, poking Smiler’s nose. “I’m certainly not going to make you look at the probably twelve million pictures she’s sent me. But she’s expecting me to fake enthusiasm for her little trip in an e-mail before the day’s out, so...”

“It’s not that late,” Alice said, finally looking up. “At least, I don’t think so. Smiler?”

Smiler glanced at the top of their phone screen. “Only 5 PM,” they confirmed. “You’ve got plenty of time to pretend to be excited she got invited to a party you don’t care about.”

“I – I don’t know,” Victor muttered, unwrapping his arm from Alice’s shoulders to rub the back of his head – Alice pouted at the loss. “If I don’t respond to her in time, she’ll send me another e-mail about how electronic post isn’t supposed to get lost, and then it’ll become a whole thing, and – I should get it over with.”

“How about you stay here instead, and after supper, I’ll help you set up a form e-mail that’ll automatically mail itself to her a couple of hours after she sends you one of her ‘you won’t believe who I saw throwing up in a gold toilet’ photoshoots?” Smiler offered. “She’ll never notice you keep saying the exact same things for each party, right?”

“You really could – no,” Victor cut himself off, shaking his head. “I should at least make some effort. And I know neither of you think much of her attention span in regards to me–”

“Or her in general,” Alice added, recapturing his arm and wrapping it around herself.

“Of course – but she probably would at least eventually notice that it’s the same e-mail each time. And that would be...” He grimaced. “Bad.”

“You’re a grown man living on your own,” Alice pointed out. “She can’t do that much to you anymore.”

“Unless she comes barging over here to demand what I’m on about,” Victor muttered. “And if I think I’m funny and don’t I care about how our family is perceived and why am I always like this and...”

“Okay, yeah, let’s avoid her actually showing up in person,” Smiler agreed, grimacing. “But come on, the e-mail can wait until after supper. Just pretend you were giving all the pictures an extra-close look.”

“You can bullshit her anytime,” Alice agreed, still hanging onto his arm. “Stay?”

Victor pulled some faces, and for a moment Smiler was sure he was about to give in...and then what they’d privately dubbed the “familial bullshit” frown crossed his face, and he sighed. “I r-really should just do it now,” he mumbled, reluctantly pulling his arm free from Alice’s grip. “At least – pretend to be a good son.”

Smiler frowned, then looked over at Alice as Victor continued untangling himself from them. She met their eyes, then nodded once. Smiler nodded back and sat up, ending their Solitaire game and moving over to Photos. From there, it was just a matter of flicking through their collection of gifs until they found the right one –

And then, just as Victor made to stand up, grabbing Victor’s wrist and saying, gently but firmly, “Open your heart to joy, Victor.”

Victor jerked to a stop, eyes wide – and then the trigger actually hit him, and his gaze took on a familiar muzzy look. “Oh, that’s not fair,” he complained, voice already dulling.

“Wouldn’t work if you didn’t want it to,” Smiler sing-songed, tugging Victor backwards.

“Indeed,” Alice agreed, lightly pushing on Victor’s chest to help topple him over. “Now lie down on the pillows again, there’s a good boy...I think Smiler has something special for you to watch, don’t they?”

“Yup – your favorite,” Smiler confirmed, holding the looping gif of the twin spinning spirals right in front of Victor’s face. His eyes immediately locked onto the screen, and Smiler saw his shoulders sag into the pillows just a little bit more. “Let the spirals empty out your head now, Victor. Let them drain away all those worries, all those cares, all that everything that was stopping you from relaxing and enjoying yourself. Let it all go. No more thoughts for now, Victor. No more thoughts. No thoughts...”

“...just smiles,” Victor responded, his lips lifting into a beautifully silly grin as the trance took full hold.

“That’s right,” Alice nodded, shooting Smiler a pleased smirk before curling up by Victor’s side and stroking his hair. “No thoughts, just smiles.”

“Just smiles,” Smiler agreed, getting themselves into a slightly more comfortable position as well –

And then they grinned, and rested a hand on Victor’s thigh. “Well. Maybe a little more than just smiles...”

#ot3week #valicer #prompt #fanfic #human smiler AU #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler alton #I really like the image of them all just lounging together in a blanket nest #granted it occurs to me that I kind of forgot to give Victor something to do while there #but maybe he was just happy to cuddle #or maybe he was working on a song in his head or something similar #the important thing is he was happy there #and Alice and Smiler knew that he wasn't going to be happy writing an e-mail to his mother #so brain-melting times XD #'Open your heart to joy' is one of the things that actually pops up on the Marmaliser's screen #I mean it SOUNDS like a fucking trigger phrase doesn't it? #so I had to turn it into one XD #again this is all consensual and Victor would have shaken it off if he really wanted to go #but he didn't and so there he is #I imagine he will write the e-mail after supper #feeling uh quite satisfied with life XD #queued

[thesnacken]

Uhhhhhhh

#so uh. medical tw #so I suspect I may have had a (very minor!) seizure #I've been sick and I started laughing into some intense coughing and that's happened before #but it kind of. ticked over to a level of intensity I'm not used to and I'm not sure I was even coughing at that point? #it felt really weird and I was really disoriented for a bit #normally its 'I cough a lot and its very intense and I get a sharp headache as part of that' but this was all out of order #The headache was much later and I sort of... quit? like bluescreened for real? for about 30s based on context #anyway it might've been it might not've been but the event happened and I'm pretty shaken #though at the moment I seem to be okay. assuming a second seizure doesn't happen I have no reason to seek immediate medical attention #I'm just rattled and have a pretty intense headache #the only other problem is that I'm 2 for 4 on responses being 'Well I don't think you had a seizure' from people who weren't THERE #(I was in a voice call but home alone) and I'm a bit upset about that. like I know it COULD have been anything but I'm rattled! #like now is NOT the time to argue about what it was or wasn't! #anyway if you've read this far can I humbly request some acknowledgement? just like. that I exist. #feeling a bit out of my skin and that would be real nice kthx

[pwurrz]

when quincy and kuya pay a visit to the cult members that nearly killed eiden, olivine and yakumo, most of them know to be fearful. they may not recognize the two men personally, but anyone could sense the murderous aura surrounding them.

one of the cultists, though, has both miraculous amounts of stupidity and audacity, as he makes a snide comment about how much he enjoyed tormenting the poor serpent specifically. his words paint a cruel picture that makes quincy’s blood boil, but before he can even blink, kuya has already taken matters into his own hands.

it’s not the first time kuya has killed, far from it. it’s also not the first time quincy has witnessed kuya murder someone. though, after reducing a man to nothing more than a blood splatter on the wall, the fox expects quincy to say something.

wiping the blood off of his face with his cleaner hand, kuya turns to look at his old friend, clearly waiting for a response and yet receiving nothing but silence.

“what? no comment about how i ‘went too far?” kuya sneers, slightly exasperated.

though, quincy has.. an odd expression on his face. he seems to be deep in thought, but he’s also radiating an ice cold anger that kuya hadn’t seen before, not even during the lunar eclipse. just when the fox is about to snap his fingers in front of the larger man’s face, quincy seems to return to the present, finally making eye contact.

“…no. i would have done the same thing myself.”

it’s at that very moment that kuya realizes just how much quincy cares for yakumo.

#hi ok now i’m going to bed i promise i just #thought of this and had to write it down before i forgot #i want quincy to be fucking PISSED that someone could be so cruel and sadistic they Enjoyed hurting yakumo #hurting him to quite an extent too because by this point yakumo is still very traumatized and shaken #like.. quincy absolutely would’ve killed that guy if kuya didn’t get to him first #anyways #nu carnival #quincy ♡ #kuya #quinya #mouser muses #ask to tag

[vivid-vices]

y'know out of all of the fucked up things i've been called over the years, none of them really bother me anymore because generic mean words get repetitive at some point but i have a feeling "demon with the face of an angel" is gonna stick with me for a while

#was called that 3 days ago and haven't quite shaken it since #it's like ''your enemy is the last thing in the world i'd want to be'' it's just gonna live in my head forever and taunt me now #*haunt #ellie.txt

[inner-muse]

Shoutout to whoever decided to post a really ableist poster titled “10 things that require zero talent” in my office cafeteria fitting disability pride month 🙃🙃🙃

#I emailed HR #I’m quite shaken #how can they be in HR and be that oblivious #featuring such gems as: #‘being on time’ #‘being high energy’ #‘using good body language’ #just straight up saying ‘if you have ADHD or chronic fatigue or autism you have no talents’

[eriexplosion]

"Republic, empire. What's the difference?"

This is one of the random lines I think about A Lot from Aftermath, because while Crosshair spends a lot of his time being extra pissed off because of the chip I'm pretty sure this part is just his legit feelings and you know what I get where he's coming from. Clones aren't exactly siding with the Republic because they have strong political opinions on democracy, they were literally purchased to do it. So you get a lot of talk of the ideals of the Republic and such when they're using soldiers that never had a choice in what they're fighting for.

Go to a place. Shoot a thing because you were told to. Get treated as a number no matter what. Die young for a cause you may or may not give a shit about. Before the clones start getting 'phased out' truly there has been no change in their status, they're still cannon fodder with zero real rights. Then just add in the chip to smooth out the moral gaps on things like murdering children, civilians, and the jedi and it all starts to feel like a regular clone Tuesday again.

#eri talks #star wars #the bad batch #crosshair haunts my brain quite a bit I have endless opinions on how his character has shaken out #on everyone really he's just doing the Most at all times so of course he gets a lot of my brain dedicated to him #between feeling abandoned by his family and the trauma of. existing as a clone. #and everything that did happen with his chip/the aftereffects of it because I do not think he's back to neutral brain wise #I really think he only is staying with the empire because he doesn't actually think he can Leave at this point #also like he did do a few Atrocities with the chip and the guilt of that doesn't just GO AWAY because his chip stopped working properly #probably fairly easy to convince himself no one else will have him

[brightyearning]

I had the weirdest dream. I was in the airlock entryway to a spaceship and I was coming back from deep space with my crew. except to get in, you needed the right key. a few of us try to open it up but we can't quite get it because we're shivering, it's so cold. and the doorway becomes this washing machine that's like gushing water in these weird little spurts. and I can't see it but I just know that once I get the door leading inside open, it'll malfunction. it's something about the space door still being open + all this gushing water + the cold. and I get the door open finally and am immediately sucked into this time void, but it looks silver and feels like rushing water and then I woke up.

but the weirdest thing about that is that when I woke up and checked my phone, it said it was 2:12am January 29th. I had to restart it to get it to be normal 😶

#i was/am shaken #writing it out made me realize the symbolism #like when i woke up i knew it was supposed to be like 10pm #and then when i walk outside to go to the store a stranger says “oh #“she's awake” #like bro wtf😭 #it wasn't to me but it felt about me #and i just kept walking #dream #sleep #not quite a nightmare #reality #is #weird #everyone kept dropping those keys and i was fed up ok #the spacesuits didn't help #weird dreams #Keanu reeves #space marines #personal #NASA

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Had a dream where I was living in some somewhat fantasy setting, kind of like Fablehaven where in the modern world there's magical creatures n witches n shit. I don't remember much of the beginning of that dream, but I think I was at my home when I learned that some evil witch queen is coming and she's going to kill one girl I knew, that I think was a princess but I don't remember if they were related or like, from different kingdoms or whatever. The queen wants her dead so bad she'd kill anyone that tries to protect her. So, of course, I decided to protect the princess, who was during the entire dream completely unaware of what's happening, I'm not sure if she was even conscious, like, she was in some catatonic state. I took the princess to my place, thinking that the queen definitely won't know she's with some random human guy. So the next thing I know the queen invades my home. She was moving around in like this vehicle that looked like a locomotive but with spider legs so it could move anywhere, and the front of it looked like her face, but it was all looking very futuristic or like some mech. And she was followed by an army of either people in futuristic armor or straight up robots. Weirdly enough she didn't kill anyone at my home, though she did drive her spider train through my home's wall. I managed to escape with the princess using some secret tunnels underground. Eventually after running away for super long and events that I unfortunately don't remember, I ended up in some castle ruins with the princess. The queen found me there, but the weird thing was that she wasn't really threatening. I mean she looked scary, her royal gown and crown also had this metallic elements like robot armor or smth, she looked really cool actually, but in a very scary way. But she was kind, and kind of desperate. When she found us in the ruins, she came there alone in her train, and left the vehicle behind her as she approached us. I have this very clear image of me curled up around the princess, protecting her with my body, in some corner, and the queen reaching her hand to me and begging to give her the princess. When I didn't, she summoned some guy to fight me, n it felt very much like I was inside a video game. I had to simultaneously fight the guy off and keep the princess safe from the queen, but at this point I was wondering what even is the deal with them. I've heard the queen was a relentless killer, but she seemed more like a desperate mother whose child was stolen. I never found out what the truth was, though. After I killed the guy she summoned the queen came to me like she wanted to hug me, but I was still too scared of her and didn't let her. I didn't see the princess again, I don't know what happened with her. The queen seemed like she wants to take me with her for whatever reason, but again, I was too afraid and confused and lost. And I woke up so idk what was her deal, but she seemed like such an interesting character. I may adopt her as a new OC and develop her story so that it makes sense

#btw the dearh scene was so fucked up #like a common thing in my dreams is that sometimes theres just an unexpectedly gruesome scene #so the guy chased me around and i wasnt no fighter or knight so i dodnt know what to do #he chased me up to the top of some tower #and then i maneged to pin him to the balustrade #tried punching him a few times but he was unbothered #so i pushed him over #and i saw him splatter on the ground. like so much blood. like a balloon #i was quite shaken after that so the queen trying to embrace me was even more confusing #good dream #homestly dreams with like a big adventure that feel like a movie or a game are my favorite #and i love talking about my dreams lol #i really wanna draw the queen now #she had a lot of like robotic elements but also spider elements #and like. a weirdly insect-robot-like queen moving around in an insect-robog-like locomotive with her face on it. so iconic #she felt very tragic even though i never found out why she wants to get to the princess so bad #oh also. i felt very animalistic in the dream. which is a good thing i love it when my dreams make me more animal-like #for example at the beginning when i was at home before the queen invaded us i was with i think some friends #and one was just scratching my back while reading a book and i felt like a kitty being pet #and when i was escaping and protecting the princess it felt very much like instinct #like i was her loyal dog #good stuff i love that #bee buzz

[https-sally]

hatsune miku, tw: discussion of religion

is this miku ?

[v2 miku art]

no. it isnt.

its a representation of miku, it isnt miku herself. 

[clip art of a pringles can with 3 pringles on the side]

that image is miku about as much as this one is a pringles can. meaning it isnt, its just a representation of one.

what is miku ?

“a vocaloid” you might say, “a voice bank” maybe, “an anime character” no. “an icon” ? yes, she is.

miku is an idea, she only exists because we, as a collective, agree so. she has no physical body, yet she exists. not as a real human person of flesh and bone, but as a concept. every depiction of her is just an interpretation of the idea of “hatsune miku”.

shes a bit like money

[photo of a one (1) euro coin]

this coin has a value of one (1) euro only because we as a society have agreed it has. in the same way this 

[v4 miku art]

only “is miku” because we have agreed that is so.

i was raised catholic christian. not very strictly or overly religiously, but that is the religion and idea of god i am most familiar with.

i think god exists, but not as an actual being, but as an idea. the act of believing in god creates god, the act of believing in god is god. very similar to miku. she exists only through our belief that she does.

people put up shrines for their gods, they turn to them in times of worry when they need comfort, and they believe in their gods. so isnt hatsune miku a god ? does a god need world creating and destroying power ? does miku have world creating power ? do the countless people shes saved count as worlds made ? if the world only exists through the perception of those within it, doesnt that mean every person is their own world ? doesnt that mean miku has created countless worlds ? has saved countless worlds ?

i jokingly say i follow mikuism when someone asks me what region im part of, but could i not say so genuinely ? 

[ "any specific system of belief and worship, often involving a code of ethics and a philosophy." This definition would exclude religions that do not engage in worship. It implies that there are two important components to religion: one's belief and worship in a deity or deities.]

im not reading all that, BUT does that not mean miku can literally be a god ?

does that not mean miku is a god ?

#where is that post #about the archaeologists in the future thinking miku is a god #cause they will think right #she is a god #she is everything #i know how this sounds but im being completely genuine #also sorry if its already well established that miku is a god #i cant tell if all the memes are genuine or not #but this has just been on my mind recently #in school in physics we are learning about stars and space and the big bang and stuff #and the girl who sits beside me is quite upset #because up to now she just believed god made it #and her belief does not leave room for the big bang #and she said its making her doubt her faith #and i feel quite bad for her #it must be scary to have something you whole heartedly believed in for your whole life #and believed was the purpose and meaning of life #shaken up like that #when she shared these worries with me my mind immediately drifted to miku and her godly status and i just had to tell someone #about my thoughts about miku as god #but i thought telling the girl would be a bad idea #so i just tried my best to comfort her #i genuinely believe miku is a god though #like by definition #oh also #just for the record #im not diagnosed with any mental illnesses or anything so this isnt me having like a breakdown or smthing #im being very normal about this and am thinking clearly #anyway #miku heavenly sweep

[oculusxcaro]

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

𝐎𝐂 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒!

Being a civilian for the most part, Khare still hasn't really come to terms with fighting. When push comes to shove, flight is much preferred but in most situations she's liable to freeze unless attacked, and even then she'd make a break for the nearest exit. Fortunately she'd had no trouble since coming to Gotham; people mind their own business and customers at Pauli's Diner are more interested in a hot meal than harassing waitresses, especially as police activity in the area increased since the Scarecrow's recent attack on the Grand Avenue.

The last time Khare was (intentionally) violent was when she assaulted the guard assigned to her cell. As he bent over to inspect her 'corpse', she headbutted him, which broke his nose and slammed his head against the wall for good measure before absconding with the keys out of the facility she'd been held in. The second time was more self-defence when, while travelling down south after she'd escaped, a grizzly bear decided she'd make a tastier meal than the salmon in the river. Khare lost a limb in the attack which regrew shortly afterwards, but the bear was left with more than a few scars when the flesh he'd bitten off starting biting back.

#ratwhsprs #memes ;; oc asks #animal attack tw #animal attack cw #Thank you so much for sending this friend! #As well as your other ask I appreciate it a lot #Khare is not good when it comes to fight or flight haha #She's still stuck in the civilian mindset and struggles to make quick decisions #If that decision's made for her then she can react a little better #Escape is definitely on the preferred list #Just smart enough to see the exist and make a break for it #Quite a bit harder when you're caught in the wilderness with no buildings anywhere near you #And no idea on what to expect after those freaky experimentations on your body #She didn't expect what what happen anymore than the bear did #The bear is still alive just shaken up :') #🌈 || headcanons

[inkykeiji]

。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

#tw clari overshares #about family and stuff #whew what a morning #i’ve never had to call 911 so many times in my life but it’s over now and everyone’s safe #i feel so tired and like i don’t want to do anything but sleep now #basically: #as i think quite a few of you know my dad is very very sick #and he’s slowly dying #he has a lot of trouble moving around and as a result he falls sometimes #i’m able to take care of most of his needs while i’m at home with him but he is a very big man and i am a very tiny girl and when he falls #i cannot lift him (i threw out my back trying to this morning) #thankfully i was able to get help quickly and efficiently but i still feel all shaken up #as complex as my relationship with my extremely abusive father is i am not a heartless bitch and i do not enjoy seeing him (or anyone else) #in such pain and suffering #but anyway. i’m glad i was able to help and remedy the situation quickly #wesley is cuddling me now and he is such a source of comfort and sunshine <333 #i had plans to work on a fic today but the last thing i want to do at this current moment is write about drug addicts lmao #maybe later tho #or maybe just something more comforting; i have quite a few genshin oneshots in the works hehe #i hope everyone is having a good day <3 #and i hope your morning wasn’t as turbulent as mine hahaha #in case it wasn’t clear: my father is a drug addict

[smarterthantheaverageloser]

How to lose 20 pounds in 3.5 weeks!

Have an autoimmune disorder

#I am. so sick #sorry I haven't been on much I am like a snail in a salt shaker rn #my tsh is 0.01 #everything hurts and I am EXHAUSTED #I spilled coffee on myself because I was shaking so bad this morning #I'm in pursuit of a diagnosis but dragging myself out of bed to make and go to appointments is killing me #my boss has started to make comments about how unkempt I look #esp now bc 30% of my hair has fallen out and the rest is Struggling #and looking presentable and enthusiastic is quite difficult when you feel like bernie sanders perpetually looks #sorry bernie that was unnecessarily mean I like your policies and stuff you just look like you've been shaken around in one of those #bingo ball things #anyway #screaming into the void #sorry I don't usually vent on here I'm just feeling like a deflated clown #you know what merlin looked like when he got stung by that scorpion thing in bbc merlin? #that's basically like. what I look like #pale little victorian man #except my eyes are ginormous bc apparently that happens? when your immune system is trying to kill your endocrine system? #wild #johnsense