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onlysanepeoplesleep · 2 days

Text

possible tw: brief mention of an eating disorder and body dysmorphia (implied but it’s barely there??).

There was no doubt when someone said Kevin was beautiful or pretty. Everyone complemented his looks, even Tetsuji had said that his looks could be used and he should use them. He hadn’t understood when he was younger what that meant exactly, but he understood now.

You could get anything just by having a pretty face and an eye-catching body. Maybe that’s why he was put on strict diets in the Nest. So the photoshoots they took months later would show his slim waist and lean figure. Riko always said his eyes were the prettiest part about him, and thus were meant to be kept unharmed.

His face never showed any sign of the abuse he had received in the Nest, even years after people still believed he had had it easy. Maybe that’s why he hated his self-image so much, why he stared at the mirror for seconds longer than he should. Why he hated eating anything above the calorie intake he was meant to. Because he had had it easy. Life had been easy for him, he shouldn’t worry others with his problems because he didn’t have any.

He was fine because he wasn’t traumatised. He wasn’t hurt the way Neil or Jean were. He didn’t have lasting scars except for the one on his left hand — and even that wasn’t as bad as the ones Jean or Neil carried.

Everything was fine. He was fine. Nothing was wrong.

And yet… if something wasn’t wrong, if he was truly okay — then why did he still have nightmares? Why did he awake abruptly at night drenched in sweat and riddled with fear? Maybe he was a coward, why else would he have nightmares when his experiences in the Nest had been nothing compared to what Jean suffered. What Neil suffered. Why should he have nightmares when Neil woke from them more frequently? When Kevin didn’t deserve to be traumatised because he wasn’t.

Everybody believed that was true so why shouldn’t he?

Betsy would probably say it wasn’t good to think like that. It wasn’t healthy to undermine his own trauma (which he didn’t have) just because someone else experienced the same things — just differently. She’d tell him to focus on his own nightmares and focus on trying to heal, but what was there to heal from if he was fine? Because he was. He was fine, as fine as one could be.

So he didn’t deserve the small reassurances his friends gave him. Didn’t deserve any kind of affection from them especially because it should be the other way round, but Kevin’s not sure how to comfort people and he knows he should know because if he’s fine and everything in his life has been fine up until this point — then how come he can’t give solace to those whose lives aren’t?

Why must he be so selfish and rude and stupid and a coward? Riko hardly did anything to him. He wasn’t beaten as much as Jean, he wasn’t tortured as much as Neil, he wasn’t broken. He survived the Nest and was fine, so that meant he had no room to argue with those who didn’t. Those who were braver then him. Who endured the pain because they didn’t know much else.

Kevin had the key to his cage whereas Neil and Jean didn’t. That was the difference. That was why he was fine and they weren’t. That’s why they needed to be loved and cared for and he didn’t.

He was not fine. He hadn’t been fine in years, but he’d never voice that aloud. He’d never disagree when someone said he had it lucky; when they said he was spoiled for thinking he didn’t. Whatever horrors he had been through in the Nest didn’t matter because in the end, the only way for people to realise just how broken you truly were was if they had visible evidence. And in that, Kevin was lacking.

#haha I am having a field day rn #the words are just coming to me #I blame my lights for being so shitty #kevin day angst is a minuscule part of this fandom and I crave more #it’s currently 2:35 am in the morning pls do not blame me for my actions #kevin day #aftg #all for the game #the kings men #the raven king #the foxhole court #kevin day angst #sad kevin day #y aren’t these tags???#give kevin some love y’all #neil josten #jean moreau #riko moriyama #tetsuji moriyama

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doesephs · 3 months

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me and the emetophobics have mad beef, stay safe jean

#on the angst train and cannot escape #waiting for the tsc cringe to hit #honestly jeans just a puppy whose not house trained #aftg fanart #digital art #all for the game #kevin day #jean moreau #jeremy knox #jerejean #jean moreau fanart #illistration #digital painting

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aftgficrec · 6 months

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ah I'm so excited you're open!!! thank you for the ridiculous amount of work you all do 🙏ok, this might be too specific but any fics with an alternate take on Andrew and Neil's post-trk reunion? Andrew gets out of easthaven early, Neil leaves the Nest later, AU's, etc.? i think it's a really interesting point in their dynamic, and I'm a sucker for sober Andrew realizing someone was watching his back for once

Feeling a bit like a Bernie Sanders’ meme – ‘I am once again asking myself why I spent so much time on an ask,’ 😅 but it's because this is such an iconic and beloved scene for our fandom. For a super fun ‘live’ first-time reader reaction to this high drama, check out ‘The King’s Men, Chapter 1 – Hello Foxhole, My Old Friend’ by @nickireadstfc here. -A

also see

Andrew's POV of throwing keys off roof here

‘Come and Save Me From It’ here (completed)

‘Learning To Feel (When You've Forgotten How)’ and the fandom meta posts here

‘pipedream’ here

‘reaching for the heights’ here

‘Lost boy’ and ‘[Un]broken’ here

‘I Know You From A Nightmare,’ ‘The Marks We Make,’ and ‘Draw Me Out, Mark Me In’ here

‘Marked’ and ‘Soulmates who can feel each other’s pain’ here

‘Of Stars and Stories’ here

‘What’s normal now?’ here

long previous recs with reunion mention

‘No More Fucks To Give’ here (updated)

‘The Sphynx and the Hare’ here (completed)

‘corvus, vulpes, lupus’ here

‘never fallen (from quite this high)’ here

‘Not a Pipe Dream’ here

‘everything and nothing begins with you’ here

Andrew gets sober, Neil stays at Evermore

‘Oh Raven,’ ‘Jailbird,’ and ‘Take to the Wing’ here

‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ here

‘Comeback’ here

you may also like

in the dream I don't tell anyone (you put your head in my lap) by Fortheloveofexy [Rated T, 1850 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

The real Neil would never allow this, would not let himself be this vulnerable. The real Neil can barely stand to be around him. Andrew knows this. But Dream Neil? Dream Neil is a different story.

Will you be there when I come back? by Shamman [Not Rated, 299 Words, Complete, 2017]

Andrew is trapped in Easthaven with an eidetic memory and tries to focus his thoughts on the confusing image of Neil Josten's face. -Because however terrible it may look, Andrew's current circumstances are much less pleasant. Furthermore Bee has been making him sing and play the guitar in a very therapeutic attempt to make him express some sort of actual emotion over the past year.

tw: violent imagery

You Gave Me A Key And Called It Home by glintchi [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2019]

Chapter 19: Yes, I Admit It, You Were Right [460 Words] Renee was waiting for him in the basement, fingers already taped, hair pulled back into a tuft of a rainbow ponytail.

Foxhole Tidbits by SpangleBangle [Collection Rated T/M, Updated 2018]

Chapter 14: My Friend, O My Friend [M, 953 Words] Prompt for Renee's reaction after Drake/Easthaven and Andrew's return.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: canonical character death

Did You Miss Me? by Deathandcommas [Rated G, 555 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]

Aaron and Andrew have a late night chat after Andrew gets back from Easthaven.

tfw spoons by StrawBerryRains [Rated G, 216 Words, Complete, 2021]

Nicky offers Andrew ice cream when they arrive home from Easthaven.

A Taste of Your Own Medicine by caffeine_withdrawl [Rated M, 66454 Words, Incomplete, Updated March 2023]

Set after the infamous Thanksgiving, but then diverges from canon. Andrew and Bee decide it’s time for Andrew to come off the drugs, but works some magic so that he is allowed to do it in Columbia. Neil is tasked with helping him through it. They decide to do it the same way Andrew helped Aaron sober up, by locking him in a bathroom. Andrew doesn't react well, and switches between rage and panic. Andrew wonders if Neil is real or if he made him up because of the drugs.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: body horror, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: flashbacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: drug addiction, tw: withdrawal, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: ptsd, tw: emotional abuse, tw: hallucinations

making it harder to breathe by Azure_Allumiia [Rated T, 1643 Words, Complete, 2021]

Christmas Break with the Foxes, featuring Andrew at Easthaven and Neil in Evermore. Foxes celebrate New Years in NYC with the ball drop.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: medical abuse, tw: torture, tw: blood

Dead Birds by Noah98 [Rated G, 1601 Words, Complete, 2021, Locked]

Neil just got back from Evermore and Andrew has returned from Easthaven. Riko calls. He wants a rematch and oh boy does he get it.

tw: violence, tw: blood/gore

Art

NB: just a sampling of art for this scene

“Feel Again” original song by @whatbutandreil [Tumblr, 2020]

Picking up Andrew from Easthaven part 1, part 2 comic by @coldcigarettes

andreil keys off the roof scene: animation by @hahanken | comic by @rainbowd00dles | comic by @lunapiq | art by @esklinray

I hate you comic by @thematicallycoherent

I’m not a hallucination art by @clumsyartish

Stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself. edit by @m1nyards

You are a pipe dream art by @viennemort

“you spend all this time watching our backs” edit by @matthcwboyd

not a hallucination a pipe dream art by @kryptidfox

“you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” art by @planetmontressor

"Go inside and leave me alone." art by @dimsunstuff

“No, you’re a pipe dream.” art by @starkingdraws

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glendover · 9 months

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something something about Aaron thinking Kevin only uses him bc he can’t have Andrew while Kevin is heart eyes head over heels in love with Aaron

#one of my favourite tropes for these two #I just love the angst #kevaaron #aftg #aaron minyard #kevin day #aftg series

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kevinsbitch · 6 months

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Andrew finds a binder in new kid's duffel bag. Photos, newspaper clips, and every fucking thing about Kevin Day's life. He looks through this stuff, fumbles with delicately folded papers and thinks that he has something in common with Neil Josten.

If anything, Andrew is also quite obsessed with Kevin Day. He just wants to believe that Josten's obsession isn't maniac.

Nicky says Andrew is too greedy. He already has Kevin, so why does he need Neil? Andrew doesn't know. But days and weeks pass by, they share cigarettes and do night practices together and Andrew realises that he can't choose. He realises that he loves them equally. He loves them, but his love just his love just not like other's. He will take a bullet for Kevin, a knife for Josten, because he doesn't know anything better. He had already wanted to die for Aaron, he didn't consider staying alive after the car crash, but he woke up on the hospital bed, not knowing what to live for.

Why did he survive, if there's nothing to do in his life anymore? Aaron was safe now, but he hated him, and Andrew only knew how to die for someone, it was his love language. He doesn't know how to love someone in another way.

He is waiting for a moment to sacrifice himself for Kevin. Kevin has something to do with mafia and they just shoot, no hello's and no goodbyes. Andrew is ready to die and only hopes that Kevin would appreciate it. He gave him a promise and he will defend him by means of his own life.

Neil Josten is no better. He has something to do with mafia and something else. Andrew is waiting for a knife in his guts and he will not hesitate. If it saves Neil's life or at least give him a couple minutes, he will die for him.

Andrew knows that the day will come and there would be no way out. All he will regret about — he can't keep them safe any longer. He has one and only one chance, he can't die twice. He considers his life only to be valuable enough for giving it for them. Only once.

Andrew knows they will have each other. Neil and Kevin, always competitors and always friends, they will stay by each other when Andrew lays his life down for them. They will find strength to live this life, but Andrew never had this strength in the first place.

#aftg #all for the game #andreil #kandreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevandreil #kevin day #kevneil #all for the gay #angst #aftg fic

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achillean-heartbeat · 5 months

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Today, soft andreil morning mini drabble. Tomorrow, who knows.

If it were any other person sleeping and fidgeting in their sleep, Andrew would never be able to get more than 10 minutes of consecutive sleep while sharing a bed with them. But this was Neil. "i learned to stay still and small and curled up in my sleep through years of survival" Neil. But Andrew always woke up before Neil. He never got out of bed though. After years of denying himself happiness and getting creative in not allowing himself things, Andrew was changing. At the pace of a dying snail, but still more than he'd like to admit. It was the effect of Neil Josten, the infuriatingly peaceful figure sleeping next to him.

Andrew always had a choice. Even when the situation seemed so inescapable that it threatened to make his sense of control crumble, he still forcibly created the space to choose. He had to. So ultimately, choosing Neil had been a decision he made. On purpose. And that decision had been the first in a while where Andrew had chosen something (someone) because he wanted it. He wanted nothing in life. But Neil had been a very specific brand of nothing Andrew's mind had somehow latched onto.

So against his self sabotaging tendencies of denying himself things, Andrew had allowed himself this. Neil.

Then, everything went downhill from there.

It started with allowing himself Neil, then allowing the thing (the nothing) between him and Neil to grow, then allowing the silence between them on the rooftop. He allowed himself to stop time whenever it was just them. He allowed himself to chase the taste of Neil on stolen cigarettes. Allowed himself to peek over the precipice of a deep deep blue that peeked right back at him with a gaze that made Andrew's skin crawl.

Andrew could only compare it to a disease, spreading from Neil to every single aspect of his life. Andrew was never the one to opt for running away, that was Neil's thing. But he sure as hell did try.

He tried looking away from Neil's eyes whenever they held so many unsaid words that Andrew could painfully read so clearly, but every time he saw a shade of blue, he couldn't stop himself from comparing it to Neil's shade. He tried forgetting the taste of Neil's laughter that slithered down his throat whenever they kissed, but every time he indulged in his sweet tooth, he kept thinking how sweeter Neil's lips would taste. He tried to shake himself mentally by the shoulders every time he got more and more used to Neil's easy show of trust, to the point of familiarity, but he didn't really have it in him to resist it in the end. How could he, when Neil, skittish hissing raccoon Neil, was laying himself bare for Andrew.

So of course it could only go downhill because of Neil. He couldn't keep up with the things he had allowed himself to feel not so numb about.

So every morning, when Andrew woke up before Neil, he allowed himself to... be.

this morning ritual had made its way into Andrew's everyday routine:

Wake up. Check if Neil is in bed (he always is.) Blink away the sleepiness from his eyes so he can see Neil clearly. Stare at Neil. Stare at the slow flutter of his annoyingly long lashes. Stare at the curve of his nose. How it curves down on its sides to Neil's cheeks. Stare at the tiny shadows cast by Neil's scars there. Stare at the long whitening scar going down all the way to his lips. Stare at Neil's lips. Stare at the bitten edge of his lower lip. Stare at his slightly stubbling chin. Then breathe.

Andrew usually falls asleep again after this little routine. But other times, like today, he feels rested enough to stay awake until Neil arises. So he repeats that little routine. Over and over and Over no matter how long it takes for Neil to wake up. He counts the times he repeats it. he makes sure to end on a number ending in 0 or 5. Even if Neil wakes up before he reaches a multiple of 5, he will keep going while pointedly ignoring the effect of Neil's morning voice on him.

Today, he'd reached 31 by the time Neil was waking up.

Neil's eyelids flew open, found Andrew, then relaxed, like every morning.

32...

Neil's chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath that sounded more like a fulfilled sigh.

33...

the morning sun bounced off Andrew right into Neil's eyes, making their blue impossibly lighter. His skin creased around their edges as he sleepily smiled at him and said "Hi."

...

34...

Andrew watched Neil's pupils change size and adjust to the light as he slowly blinked, unmoving.

35.

"Hi," Andrew finally responded.

It was only then that Neil sat up and stretched his arms, energy beginning to buzz under his skin as soon as he was up. Andrew didn't thin about how Neil knew not to get up in the morning until Andrew responded. Andrew didn't think that despite Neil's early stock of energy, he stayed still until Andrew greeted him, until he was done with his morning ritual that he had never told Neil about.

He saw his brain branching into two paths: the mortifying ordeal of being know, and the rewards of having someone who cares. He didn't have to think long about it, because Andrew knew that when it came down to Neil, the latter always won.

He mirrored Neil's position and they exchanged breakfast suggestions in quiet morning voices.

#muggy.writes #i love them so much man #i love angst #but sometimes i gotta balance it out with fluff too #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #aftg #aftg andrew #aftg neil #kevin day #the foxhole court #all for the game

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sugaroto · 2 years

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Ok but think about Neil never getting rid of the things he owns

For all his life everything he needed could fit in a duffel bag, then, after everything, he has a whole closet with things that are his

For example at some point in the book, I think when he was going to the nest, he was surprised to see that not all his possessions could fit in the bag because the Foxes had gifted him things

So, imagine when he moves in with Andrew, and at some point they're like, let's go for a vacation, and neil tries to fit everything into the bag, and Andrew is like, Neil we're going to be away for 2 days, your hoodie won't miss you if you leave it behind

Or, we know that his clothes looked like shit, because he kept wearing them again and again and again

He has an emotional bond with these clothes ok? He can't just throw them away in the trash

Neil you can buy a new t-shirt, this one has holes in it

But you gifted it to me

Yeah, 5 years ago. You're allowed to stop wearing it

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weirdhamfire61 · 6 days

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Just finished reading The Ravens king.

Yall did NOT WARN NE ENOUGH!!

I FEEL BETRAYED

#books #booklr #all for the game #andrew minyard #andrew and neil #andrew and aaron #aaron minyard #neil josten #kevin day #nicky hemmick #aftg #angst #i cried so hard #my eyes are swollen #protect them at all costs #Couch waymack is the best

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capricious-magician · 6 days

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"Numerology is the practice of assigning meaning to (mostly) single-digit numbers and, based on those meanings and some simple calculations, interpreting messages about your life, personality, and destiny."

#all for the game #aftg #kevin day #riko moriyama #the raven king #numerology #brotherhood #Kevin angst #Putting off fully reading the TSC #my poetry #creative wriitng

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isaacthefallen · 1 month

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I just think Kevin is going to have a lot to answer for.

(I have no idea how to do digital art and I will most likely never learn.)

#aftg #all for the game #jean moreau #kevin day #kevjean #angst

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aftgficrec · 3 months

Note

hi besties! can i be a bit weird and ask for sick fics here? old/new/favorites, any will do! just some big ol’ hurt/ comfort, especially if combined with some emotional hurt/comfort 🥰

There’s nothing weird about this at all! Apart from the fics below, there’s also our sickfic tag as well as our hurt/comfort tag for more (see our tag page under the heading ‘themes - injuries/illnesses/conditions’). - S

Previous recs:

cool andreil sick fics here

sick fics here

foxes with headaches/sick fics here

10k+ sick fics here

Andreil in hospital here

Neil with major injury here

Neil gets injured (post canon) here

Neil & car accidents here

accident-prone Neil here

Andreil with amnesia here

medical Andreil/Aaron & Neil here

Neil getting roofied here

Also see…

‘we're one (there's nothing to be done)’ here

‘Just like that day’ here

‘head case (what to do with you)’ here

‘Such Stuff as Dreams are Made’ here

‘Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man’ here

‘Broken’ here

‘If Only I Were Enough’ (completed) here

‘I'll Come Back To You’ here

‘glass in the trees (objects in the rearview)’ here

‘Running Ragged’ here

‘To Love and Be Loved’ here

‘all that looking down’ here

‘next best thing’, keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?)’ and ‘no matter when and where, we’ll be alright’ here

‘Can Nobody Hear Me (I cannot breathe)’, ‘I remeber tears streaming down your face (for me to wipe them away)’, ‘you crawled inside my head’, ‘living leaves so many holes in us’, ‘Ciggarette Smoke Cure’, ‘Breathless’, ‘i've done my time’ and ‘cats and close calls’ here

‘The Highs and Lows of Pre-med Majors' here (Aaron)

‘Hold My Hand?’ here

‘Echo’ here

I’m More Than This Body of Mine by yall_send_help [Rated M, 88811 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

The doctor took a pause, which Nathaniel was able to use to ask, “what about my leg?” The two pigs had the audacity to look surprised. The doctor looked over at them with a hint of confusion. “You didn’t tell him?” Towns shook his head as Browning said, “you told us not to.” Dr. Byrd nodded her head in approval and turned back to the bed. “Nathaniel…” she trailed off, reevaluating her words. “Would you mind if I sit?” and only after his own nod did she. “The damage done to your leg… it was unlike what most of the staff at this hospital had ever seen. The surgeons tried to save it, but…” She looked down at where his legs were and Nathaniel did too, only to feel himself pale at what he found. “The surgery took about three hours,” Dr. Byrd continued. “The only reason why it took so long was because the surgeons really did try to save your leg. They did. Amputations usually take only half that time. Eventually, Dr. McCoy called it. Because of the damage done to your leg, we couldn’t wake you up to ask. It had to go. I’m sorry.” or - the one where neil goes to baltimore and comes back missing a leg

tw: torture, tw: amputation, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: blood, tw: animal cruelty, tw: implied/referenced drug overdose

fireproof by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 2097 words, complete, 2024]

Andrew gets his flu shot.

Things Always Gets Worse Before They Gets Better series by Renee_Walker_09 [Rated G, 40141 words, incomplete, 3 complete works, 2024]

Part 1: Beginnings & Endings (G, 1083 words)

It's 1:30 in the morning. The Foxes are celebrating their championship win against the Ravens the only way they know how to: booze, partying, and a little bit more booze. Nothing could possibly ruin this?

tw: car accident, tw: major character injury

Part 2: You Mean Everything To Me (G, 12767 words)

There are two crashed cars. There’s blood on the floor. Lights are flashing all around. Andrew is standing in the middle of the crash site with a blanket draped across his shoulders as he stares straight at Neil, lying on the floor.

tw: car accident, tw: major character injury, tw: (temporary) major character death, tw: suicide attempt, tw: drug overdose, tw: blood, tw: self harm

Part 3: Hours, Days, Weeks (G, 26299 words)

Andrew is lying in a coma following the accident. His condition is critical. And Neil and Aaron have to find a way to cope. Neil and Aaron’s POVs of the crash and the past 6 weeks

tw: car accident, tw: blood, tw: major character injury, tw: (temporary) major character death, tw: self harm, tw: panic attacks, tw: seizures

NB: find art for the fics by the author here as well as embedded in the fics

Even goalkeepers can’t block sickness by BlowingYourMind [Rated G, 12768 words, complete, 2024]

“Rabbit,” Andrew peered up at him with half lidded eyes, “Yes or no?” “Yes ‘Drew,” Neil clasped his hands at Andrew’s elbows, “it’s always a yes, you know that.” “No ‘s not,” Andrew weakly argued as he took hold of Neil’s chest pad, using it to leverage himself upwards. It was awkward work of walking half-delirious Andrew back to the locker room, shielding him from the crowd while keeping him on his feet, but they managed. Or Andrew becomes very sick at an away game, and Neil and the foxes take care of him.

tw: vomit

the upswing by missgivings [Not Rated, 45569 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

The next universe over, life has gone a bit easier on Andrew. He’s gainfully employed as a nurse of all things, working beside his best friend Renee, and living in relative harmony with his brother, the recently graduated Dr. Aaron Minyard. Everything’s fine. It’s fine that he hasn’t spoken to Kevin in person for three years. It’s fine if Aaron’s leaving him to marry his stupid doctor girlfriend. It’s fine until the boy with the box-dyed hair stumbles into the ER and passes out at his feet, bringing a world of secrets and trouble with him. And Neil? Neil’s looking for any port in a storm.

tw: major character injury, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced self harm

please (don't bite) by Major_816 [Rated M, 5478 words, complete, 2024]

Genioglossus. It’s a fan-shaped muscle and forms the bulk of the inferior part of the tongue. It stretches to the hyoid bone too. ~ Neil wakes up to a bad day and it just gets worse.

tw: blood, tw: self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nightmares, tw: flashbacks, tw: vomit

Will you love me for who I am, not for who I was? by something_boring [Rated T, 1580 words, complete, 2024]

Neil is sick on New Year's eve, wakes up to the fireworks, and continues to have a panic attack about his time on the run.

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Your Needs, My Needs by TogeMythia [Rated T, 1073 words, complete, 2023]

‘Neil.’ He whined, his face still buried under the blankets. ‘Hrmph?’ Neil responded with a confused noise from somewhere across the bed. ‘Do you feel as shit as you sound?’ - Or Neil and Andrew wake up sick on Christmas day.

tw: vomit

To be safe by HushedStars [Rated G, 2116 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is feeling unwell. He seeks comfort from Matt. It was late at night. Neil stood in the kitchen, deep in thought but still with one ear alert for any movement of his roommates. He shifted from foot to foot, hands digging into his sore neck

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks

Safe with him by 1mNot4Hum4n [Not Rated, 2434 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is sick but doesn't want to admit it. He can't be sick. He can't be weak. Luckily Andrew is there to make sure his junkie is okay, and remind him that he has people around him who are willing to do anything to protect him.

'tis the season by moonix [Rated T, 5579 words, complete, 2023]

Five holidays Andrew had to let Kevin take care of him and one time he got to return the favour.

i called your name ‘til the fever broke by cyanica [Rated T, 5632 words, incomplete, last updated Nov 2023]

Neil’s breath is hot and awful against Andrew’s thigh. “I can’t be sick on your birthday,” he says, like it’s that simple. “I can’t be sick on you on your birthday.” “How considerate,” Andrew’s voice is a bland murmur, and he is left watching Neil’s bloodless, wet lips, as he curls into Andrew’s lap. Neil gently pulls away after a moment, leaning back into Andrew’s hand on his neck. “Is me being sick still making you anxious?” he asks. Fever-stricken with dizzied-eyes and delirious thoughts, he knows Andrew without more than a moment beside him, a look into his eyes that makes Andrew feel undone, found. Or Neil is sick and Andrew isn’t coping well.

tw: vomit, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: anxiety

You Know I'm Good On My Own by sambutwithbooks [Rated G, 4568 words, complete, Aftg Then And Now 2023]

Andrew breaks his arm two games into the season and it feels a little bit like Neil’s world snaps with it. (A snapshot of Neil and Andrew between Andrew coming home from the hospital and going back home to Palmetto State.)

tw: major character injury

that's my line by sillyunicorn6154 [Rated G, 1291 words, complete, 2023]

Andrew is definitely not sick. But he is a little stubborn.

You're not fine, but you will be by karmenvi [Not Rated, 616 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is sick, so Andrew takes care of him. So it was supposed to be a sickfic, but it turned into 'Andrew stares at Neil and thinks his boyfriend is the prettiest boy in the world.' Anyway, enjoy some fluff.

I'll be okay if he's here by obsessivereader156 [Not Rated, 1673 words, complete, 2023]

“Thank you, Drew,” Neil says for the twentieth time, feeling so lucky to have someone take care of him. “Say it again and I will kill you.” “You’re just so nice to me,” Neil says a bit deliriously, “I’ve never had someone take care of me when I’m sick.”

If it means losing you, then no by LostMess_24 [Rated T, 6712 words, complete, 2023]

There was something against his hand, a pressure he knew too well, a hand that fit so perfectly against his, making Andrew’s presence known, making Neil’s entire body relax, slowing his breathing a bit. But before Neil could see the man at his side, it hit him. He was starting to feel it, all around him. Those white walls, the mattress he was in, the soft yet old sheets, the pressure on his arm. And finally, unmistakably, the regular and aggressive beeps, signs of a life that was his own. He was in a hospital bed. There’s an accident. Those idiots would do anything and everything to protect each other.

tw: major character injury, tw: car accidents

cause and effect by mistyrie [Rated M, 13107 words, complete, 2023]

"Andrew realized what he was seeing but he couldn’t comprehend it. He didn’t know how to help. There was no enemy to deal with – there was just Neil seizing on the floor and Andrew didn’t know what to do." Neil starts having seizures and Andrew tries to help.

tw: seizures (epilepsy)

how the foxes act when they're sick by @detectivebambam [tumblr, 2024]

headcanons on the foxes and illness

headcanons on Neil getting sick by @24-0z [tumblr, 2022]

Neil doesn't get sick very often, so when he finally catches the bug that had been going around campus, he's suddenly 8 years old again, sweating and trembling with fever

SICK!Neil for my soul. by @satan-in-a-v-neck [tumblr, 2021]

Neil is acting strange. Ask every fox and they'll tell you that for the past three days Neil Josten wasn't acting very Neil Josteny.

tw: vomit

illness/injuries as background event:

The Songs Around Us by doodlingstuff [Rated M, 80075 words, complete, 2022]

The mission was simple: Nathaniel would join Astral Foxes as Neil Josten and make them part of Moriyama Music. In reality, Neil became real, found a home, and fell in love despite his lies. When the Moriyamas send the Butcher to remind Neil of his mission and Andrew's life ends on the line, Neil will have to find a way to escape his fate and bring Andrew back. As he gets closer to losing the man he loves the most, Neil will realize that sometimes, music is the only answer, and others, truth is the only weapon he can use. Another Band!AU. This time extra angsty.

tw: torture, tw: car accident, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: violence

NB: find art for this fic by @doodlingstuff here

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