#kid quotes

[my-castles-crumbling]

Since you guys so enjoyed the last post about the small humans (children) I spend time with, here is a quote from today:

9-year-old: I'm not trying to rob your house or anything but what's your bank account number?

Me: 12.

9-year-old: Cool, cool.

#lol #kids #children #kid quotes #working with kids #working with children #funny #humor #work #job

[silvrash-797]

*pulled off to the side of the highway so an ambulance could pass, rocking the car*

3-year-old: Mom! That bus went fyooom!

Husband: It's not a bus, honey

Me *snorting, with @skyloftian-nutcase in the back of my head*: It's a boo-boo bus!

#kid quotes #this happened like...10 minutes ago and I'm still laughing

[goodnightmoonvale]

I've been reading the original Winnie the Pooh books to my 5yo for his bedtime stories. The other night he tells me that he's going to tell ME some stories about Winnie the Pooh instead. He's got 100 chapters about Winnie the Pooh, he says.

His book about Winnie the Pooh is called "Winnie the Pooh in the City", he says, and first three chapters are entitled as follows:

Winnie the Pooh in the Day

Winnie the Pooh in the Car

Carnage in the City

#winnie the pooh #a a milne #kids #kid quotes #funny #baby's first fanfiction #kids say the darndest things

[deer-knight]

It doesn't kill you...it just renders you dead.

one of my 7yr old students

#kid quotes #kid quote

[zelphafrost]

"Valentine's Day is stupid because love is gross. People eat their boogers and then when they love you, they want you to kiss them after they just got done eating their boogers. It's disgusting." My 11 year old

#love advice from kids #love #zelphafrost #kid quotes

[poetry-protest-pornography]

An important reminder from my 7 year old:

"loveing is good for you"

#kids say the cutest things #things to make you smile #kid quotes

[szethsmom]

12-year old: “I have a bunch of tv shows in my head that I like to watch.”

Me: “oh yeah, me too!”

12yo: “Mine has 188 seasons.”

Me: “Wait— sEASONS?!”

12yo: “yeah, each season has 10 episodes.”

12yo: “It’s called Sonic’s Adventures on Earth.”

Me: ……….

12yo: “I’M AUTISTIC!”

#god my kids dnd program today was a GOLDMINE of comedic moments #I will probably spam-post a whole bunch of them #kid quotes #vin the librarian

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

#the good place #i'm binge watching it again and it just takes me out so hard #i get lost in the sauce thinking about this quote #the idea that those who hurt you are capable of being better people and then seeing them change and grow just hits me right between the rib #who am i kidding it stabs me like the senators stabbed Caesar #anyway #icy does a tag ramble

[laughingstressedoutmother]

I can't even today man I can't even. I'm sitting here trying to think of how I want to write a post for the tarot thingy that I am working on and here comes my two-year-old daughter screaming hysterically. Her name is Luna Lilith and she's pointing her finger at me yelling something. I am looking for blood, or broken bones or anything that could be ailing this toddler. All I understand is "rsdhdjdjdjwosisj (like the little boy Donnie from the wild thornberries) and get it."

She stares right up into my face as close as she can get pointing with her finger right to my eye. I flinch cuz she too damn close. And then she says "booger."

All that screaming, scaring the s*** out of me, she almost put the damn booger in my eye.

Laughing hysterically, she says "get it, haha mom."

Just had a booger on her finger, that's it. LMAO rofl

#im laughing #toddlers #momlife #cant even #why #hysterical #haha #booger #kids #kids are weird #humans are weird #weirdcore #kids are gross #gross #motherhood #mom jokes #mother #mother of brats #bad ass kids #kids are hilarious #kids are so funny #children #kid quotes #kid stuff #kidcore #kid things #mother issues #mother is mothering #mom issues #mom advice

[crzygthumbs]

Funny Kid Sayings

Years and years ago: I was with my kids and husband driving around doing chores. My husband pulled up to the cleaners and went inside. From the back, my five year old said, “Where is dad going?” I said, “He’s picking up his uniform.” Amazement and excitement from the backseat: “Daddy has a unicorn!?!” I love being a mom.

View On WordPress

#funny #Kid quotes

[fthrdvs]

Funny Kid Sayings

Years and years ago: I was with my kids and husband driving around doing chores. My husband pulled up to the cleaners and went inside. From the back, my five year old said, “Where is dad going?” I said, “He’s picking up his uniform.” Amazement and excitement from the backseat: “Daddy has a unicorn!?!” I love being a mom.

View On WordPress

#funny #Kid quotes

[thebookofjayden]

6 year old to his peer:

Did you know that when you turn 100 years old they take you to the hospital and put a tube here *points to his chest* and then they shrink you down into a little baby?

#kid quotes #aging #mortality #something very logan's run/ the giver dystopian propaganda about it #jellyfish life

[silvrash-797]

4-year old: Mom! I found a penny! (to our 2-year old) I found one for you, too! Let's go pretend they're coins!!

Husband: Well if that isn't a statement about inflation I don't know what is

#....yeah #we like to pretend they're coins too kid #kid quotes

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

#sorry this was funnier in my head #but after i read that post I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT #gen z batkids is the most Cursed thing i've read today and i love it #at first i had so many Thoughts about how my brain CANNOT reconcile tim as anything but a 90s kid but then i read that line about damian and #i feel like they'd mess with him sometimes by randomly quoting memes in unison #almost started to overthink how in This Particular Timeline jason might have missed out on this meme because he was Not Alive #but for the purposes of this silly joke i choose to believe dates are irrelevant #that is all thank you #clarisse doodles #batfam #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd

[arunneronthird]

imagine being a gotham villain just living a peaceful life and suddenly here comes a vigilante with an actual gun

#jason todd is the funniest character in the whole dc #like who let this kid choose firearms #jason todd #red hood #my art #dc comics #batman #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well. #theres a version of this quote with the word filthy. however were not weak here

[p1nkshield]

Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-

Bruce: My kids.

Reporter: I’m sorry what?

Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.

Reporter: …

Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.

Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.

Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.

Like this.

#jason todd #bruce wayne #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #he still gives all his kids uppies #batdad #he just needs to up his weight training game in order to do so #everyone is worried he’s going to throw out his back one day