#kind of joking here. partly not joking tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

star-anise · 2 years

Note

You just posted like ten different things about potatoes in the span of maybe five minutes, and I gotta know your take on "The Martian".

Like, the (fictional) man alone on a planet literally only survives because of potatoes shrink-wrapped in plastic for a Thanksgiving meal. If they weren't slated to be on Mars for Thanksgiving, he would have died.

And Andy Weir (author of the original novel) did such a good job with the science of every other element to the story, I honest-to-god believe that potatoes could actually manage to grow in Martian soil (even if that's not been proven for certain afaik).

Which means..... could potatoes terraform Mars into sustaining life??? Are potatoes the key to the universe???

Haha sorry for going so hard on them! Those were mostly all posts from 2020 when gardening and fantasy worldbuilding were lockdown fixations for me. One of them blew up recently so I wanted to give The People more of the content it seemed they were looking for. I don't actually know a lot about potatoes. I just think they're neat.

I do not want to take apart the concept of "colonizing Mars" as some kind of woke gotcha. I want to take your question seriously and charitably. However, I just am the kind of person who's like "Hmm, 'colonize', we should really stop and unpack that word," so let's do that, without forgetting the potato element.

(What "I don't know a lot" means: Potatoes were a crop my family grew several acres of for a few years on our farm before we switched our focus to sheep. I am about 50% as reliable as a horticultural brochure on various potato diseases and growing condition issues. I have listened to two University lectures and read perhaps four historical journal articles beginning-to-end on how the Columbian Exchange affected early-modern Europe, that and half as much again on medieval and early modern European farming practices and population changes, and perhaps three science/history articles specifically on the domestication and proliferation of the potato. I am a white Canadian who actively seeks out information and training in Indigenous history and culture in the Americas, but that's probably still only equal to like, two Native Studies classes in university. I know more than the average person on this topic, but I am also not an expert compared to people who have devoted serious time to learning about this.)

But I have some intuitions in a couple of ways:

The Martian is probably being wildly over-optimistic about its potatoes. They would probably have been irradiated into sterility before being vacuum-packed, and I don't think you can split and propagate them that quickly or successfully. However, potatoes can definitely grow in all kinds of conditions (including under my sink).

They might not be the world's healthiest or happiest potatoes, tho. Soil quality definitely affects the end product. Presumably Watney, being a botanist studying Mars' soil composition, knew how much he had to ameliorate his soil with latrine compost (which would definitely have needed a LOT of processing, since human waste is generally not good for plants, but maybe he used chemicals to speed that up?) to get good soil. However, we would probably need to add a LOT of shit to Mars' soil (and air, and water) for it to host plant life.

Mark Watney makes a joke about having "colonized Mars" because "colony" is Latin for "farm" and he farmed on Mars so haha, funny joke! And we talk about colonies on Mars partly because that's what science fiction did, and a lot of science fiction has been into that colonialism aesthetic. But colonialism and empires actually aren't great, not just because they necessitate huge amounts of racism, oppression, and genocide—I know, you asked me a fun question about potatoes and did not sign up for this, I'm not here to drag you, hear me out—but because they're also really sucky models for agriculture and successful societies generally.

My British ancestors tried to be colonial farmers in a place that is sometimes colder than Mars (Canada's Treaty Six), and let me tell you: IT SUCKED. Most of the crops and herbs and vegetables and flowers that settlers here brought from home and are used to? DON'T FUCKEM GROW. For the Canadian prairies to become conventional farmland, farmers and scientists had to scramble to find, or produce, cold-hardy varieties of everything from wheat to roses. A lot of flowers and plants that are unkillable invasive zombie perennials in other climates don't survive our winters no matter hard we try. The trees and flowers that hold cultural or sentimental attachments for us often don't grow here. The climate is so harsh and population is spread so thin that we cannot do the 100 mile diet and eat foods we're familiar with, and can hardly even manage the 1000 mile diet. (Not that I try, but, my family did once look into it)

A huge number of colonial homesteads, where the pioneers go out on their little covered wagon and build little houses on the prairie? Failed miserably and got bought up by land speculators. My own family came out to Alberta in the 1880s and moved around from land assignment to land assignment, like, six times before settling at their current place in the early 1900s.

Meanwhile: POTATOES

Potatoes are less than ten thousand years old! I am not any kind of expert on archaeology, please nobody throw things, but humans showed up in the Andes (think: high, cold mountains) of South America roughly 9,000 years ago. There are hundreds of wild potato varieties, but they generally produce fairly tiny tubers. It took active work of Indigenous Andean people around 8,000 years ago around Lake Titicaca to cultivate specific strains of potato, doing oldschool genetic modification to make them bigger, more delicious, and hardier. From that cultivation effort around a single species of wild potatoes, they produced thousands of cultivated potato varieties.

Ancient Andean farmers and botanists also played a big part in cultivating quinoa from wild amaranth, as well as producing modern food crops you probably haven't heard of, like oca, olluco, mashua, and yacon, and also coca, which may get a bad rap because it's what cocaine and coca-cola are made from but you cannot deny it's got kick.

Basically, Indigenous people of the Americas (South, Central, and North) went all in on botany and plant cultivation. Plants that we take for granted now have mostly been developed by Indigenous people in the past few thousand years: Tobacco, sunflowers, marigolds, tomatoes, pumpkins, rubber, vanilla, cocoa, sweetcorn, maize, and most kinds of pepper except peppercorn. These things were not found; they were made, by careful cultivation of the world as it was.

This gives us a vision of the future. Colonization, and industrial agriculture, both lean us towards the vision of a totally uniform end product, with the same potato varieties grown on each farm because we have made every farm the same. Instead we could embrace biodiversity and focus on privileging local knowledge and considering the interactions of environment, plants, microbiota, and people. We could create potatoes that were happy on Mars. We could create Mars that is happy to have us. We could create a society that can accept what Mars has to offer.

A lot of why we dream about colonizing Mars is the idea that the Earth itself is dying, that we are killing it, and we need to abandon this farmstead and seek out a new frontier. I acknowledge that shit is bad, but I don't agree with that framing. I am increasingly persuaded that there is a third path between ecological destruction and mass exodus, and I think we need to reject European colonial mentality that creates the forced choice. I find far more use in privileging the knowledge of people who live on and with land than their landlords and rulers, and I especially find value in Indigenous knowledge of land management practices and food production.

I am absolutely not saying that Indigenous people were or are wonderful magical ~spiritual beings~ who frolicked in an Edenic paradise that only knew death and disease once white people showed up. This isn't noble savage bullshit, nor am I invoking people who existed once but whom I have never met. I am saying that I have Indigenous neighbours, colleagues, relatives, and elected representatives. I have learned about mental health, leatherworking, botany, and ecology from Metis and First Nations elders and knowledge-keepers. And like. They have good and useful shit to say.

This is about culture, not race. It is not that their biological DNA means that they know more than me about how to get food from this landscape. It's about cultural history and what we learn from our heritages. What have our cultures privileged? Like, Europe has historically been super into things like metallurgy, domesticating livestock, and creating dairy products. If I want to smelt iron or choose animals to make cheese from, European society would have a lot of useful information for me! And what Indigenous cultures in the Americas have historically focused on instead of cows and copper* include 1) getting REAL familiar with your local flora and figuring out how to make sure you have lots of the herbs and grains and roots and berries you need, and 2) how to make a human society where people can live and have good lives, but do not damage the environment enough to impair the ability of future generations to have the same sort of life.

*Several indigenous American cultures did practice various forms of metallurgy. It's just one of those proportional things, about what societies really go for

Conclusion

I think we could use the processes that formed the potato to find and foster forms of life that could survive on Mars. It would involve learning to think that botany is a sexy science, and understanding just how rich and complicated the environment is. To oxygenate the atmosphere, we'd have to get super enthusiastic about algae and lichen and wetlands. We would have to learn to care deeply about the microorganisms living in the soil, and whether the potatoes are happy.

We'd have to create an economy that counts oxygen and carbon dioxide production on its balance sheets. To learn how to wait for forests to grow back after a fire, instead of giving up in despair because the seedlings aren't trees yet. To do the work now and be hopeful even though we might not see the payoffs for decades, or our victories might only be witnessed by future generations.

So yes, I think we could totally plant potatoes on Mars

But I also think that if we ever got there, we'd have turned into the kind of people who could also save Earth in the first place.

Which makes it a good enough goal in my opinion.

#staranise original #agriculture #potatoes my beloved

2K notes · View notes

faithlesbian · 1 year

Text

trans angel thesis post

so me and @titsgirlbuffy on our joint watch noticed this line (in my header image!) from btvs s1e7 and immediately thought hehehe well he said he’s not a man, that means He’s Trans. partly due to the existing bank of star trek characters who clearly meant they werent human but just happened to phrase it a certain way -- its great fun to just take these lines out of context and run with them

[ID: angel in a darkly lit scene saying “I can walk like a man, but I’m not one.”]

the thing is tho the further we got the more trans angel material we kept finding. like we weren’t even looking it was just There. so it went from basically a joke to the actual lens through which we’re now watching ats so. here’s the trans angel thesis post i guess!

so obviously this line was intended to mean hes a demon. its from the episode where we first find out hes a vampire, so the writers are clearly using “not a man” to mean “not a human being” as mentioned before. but then there’s the flashbacks in ats s1e15 to when he was alive and definitely human which...

[ID: three screenshots of angel and his father in 1700s dress. his father says “It’s a son I wished for! A man! Instead, God gave me you.” while Angel looks hurt]

i remember another post (which i will try and find and link to) saying that darla was trapped by societal confines of womanhood and she was drawn to angel bc he was being crushed by societal expectations of masculinity -- “being a man” was something he resoundingly failed at in life. crucially also his birth name, Liam, is left off his headstone and no one ever calls him it again. in contrast to spike for example, who still responds to William, Angel seems to consider Liam to effectively be his deadname (which is funny yk given he only used it when he was alive), and both of his chosen names, Angelus and Angel, are much less masculine.

spike regularly refers to himself as a man, he also sometimes acknowledges that he’s not technically a man meaning not human, but for him this is paired with wishing he could be a man (”i know that i’m a monster, but you treat me like a man” btvs s5e22, “to be a kind of man...” s7e22). in every sense masculinity isn’t something that seems to cause him any kind of distress to be associated with, and while he still has a fascinating relationship to gender i think you’d be hard pushed to say he doesn’t identify as male (tho i’d love to hear any takes on that!!).

on the other hand, here we have one of the few times angel willingly refers to himself as a man in btvs s3e10

[ID: two screenshots of angel, crying and facing buffy, saying “It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.”]

if there is a part of himself that he sees as a man, its something he associates with guilt, failure and weakness. obviously there’s other layers to this scene but i do think the word choice is interesting!!

and then theres what i consider one of the seminal trans angel episodes, ats s2e6. first of all he admits that he changes his appearance based on how he wants other people to see him, that he’s worried about what they think. the character he’s talking to in these scenes tells him since he doesn’t have an actual reflection, his outward appearance only matters when considering the people around him, and that there’s two versions of him -- “the image you’ve worked so hard to create, and the real you.”

[ID: Angel, looking concerned and saying “Maybe my persona is a little affected”]

his outward - masculine - presentation is something he maintains for the sake of what others think of him, it’s not an authentic expression of who he is (see this post by @buffyology on how he literally seems to get his whole wardrobe directly from mens fashion magazines). also in this episode, he refers to the aspects of himself that he’s repressing as “it” -- dehumanising but also degendering the things he doesn’t want to come to the surface

[ID: four screenshots of dialogue between angel and another character out of frame. he asks angel “it?” to which angel responds “the demon.” the other character then says “ah. But the demon is you.” angel says “no”, the other character responds “yes. That’s the thing you’ve spent so much energy trying to conceal.”]

he explicitly labels the things about himself he’s afraid of other people seeing with a genderless pronoun, lumping in the demonic aspects of himself alongside the other things being hidden by his artificial masculine outward presentation. he hates himself for being a vampire, and for having done awful things in the past, but also for failing to live up to the expectations of masculinity that he’s still hollowly trying to perform now as he was when he was alive.

masculinity is tied to humanity which is tied to morality -- he ascribes the bad parts of himself to “the demon” which is also genderless, he equates his failure to be a good person with his failure to be a man. in ats s1e15 his father tells him he’s neither a son nor a man, and later on in the same episode darla tells a freshly turned angelus that he’ll never be able to get his father’s approval and that his defeat will last lifetimes -- he’s still trying to prove himself a man and he’s never going to succeed. in ats s2e5 we get this exchange as darla burns angel with a cross

[ID: three screenshots of a standoff between angel and darla, in the first two he holds her by the throat while she burns him with a crucifix. she says “See? No matter how good a boy you are... God doesn’t want you.” In the third screenshot she stands apart and says “But I still do.”]

Darla's word choice in this scene also links masculinity to morality and humanity - essentially saying he will never be a good enough person nor perform masculinity convincingly enough to be accepted by anyone but her, because he's a vampire and he can't change this fact of who his is.

but it’s not a moral failing not to want to be a man, and as much as angel tries to hide and repress it it’s still going to come through because it’s just who he is. while trying his best to Look like a man, he’s still finding ways to assert his identity through his choice of name and aversion to gendered language

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “More than you might think, Mr. Angel.” “Just Angel”]

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.” “Could you not call me that?”] And then there’s this scene where he’s talking about the differences between him and Cordelia and like, i get the joke but also. come on. he cannot commit to calling himself a man without chickening out

[ID: two screenshots dodgily cropped and stitched together to just show subtitles - “Human. Vampire. Woman. Man... pire.”] admittedly most of these lines have fairly obvious intended meanings and me and @titsgirlbuffy were likely picking up on the subtext mostly because we were watching both shows through this lens. it could be argued as a niche reading - up until ats s3e6 that is, in which there’s a guy called Billy who can curse men to become fucked up and evil, who tries to curse Angel, only for him to be immune. A curse. That only affects men. to which he is, randomly, immune.

[ID: four screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “[Cordelia] I don’t get it.” Angel replies “I don’t get it, either.” and Cordelia continues “I mean, you’re a man, so, why didn’t Billy’s touch affect you?”] I cannot stress enough that they genuinely didn’t have a good reason -- whoever wrote this episode hadn’t come up with a decent explanation as to why angel was immune to the Curse That Affects Men. This is not a great episode but I do consider it to be basically canon confirmation that Angel at the very least isn’t cis.So to conclude, Angel is nonbinary/transfemme and has been trying and failing to perform masculinity well enough to hide this since he was alive. He objects to being called masculine terms and almost never refers to himself as a man, he changed his name to something more androgynous and refuses to go by his old name, and he admits to dressing and acting a certain way to seem more normal and masculine in other people’s eyes. He associates the parts of himself that he hates, fears, and represses, with genderlessness. And he is immune to a curse that only affects men. thank you for reading this long fucking post!

120 notes · View notes

minecraftmen · 2 years

Text

hi I'm David, I'm disabled and I now write disabled!reader mcyt fics! here's smth self indulgent :]

Dream Team reacting to reader who gets dizzy spells

cw: medication mention

/p or /r; gender neutral reader (neutral use of "dude")

Dream:

makes fun of you a little but is actually worried

like externally "lol you good?" but internally he's like 'fuck that was scary they could've hit their head they could've fallen oh no-'

brings you a drink to help your blood sugar - a sports drink, juice, maybe a protein shake if you like those

if you take meds for it, is always asking you if you took them

(half the time it's bc he forgets if he's already asked you and the other half it's bc u do actually forget them sometimes)

if you fully faint he's beating himself up abt it thinking he could've helped more

brings you ice packs and pillows to prop your legs up

starts putting rugs everywhere

he claims he just liked the pattern/texture or it's to help Patches grip the flooring and maybe that's partly true

but it's mostly bc he's worried ur gonna smack ur head on the hard floor one of these days

he's a softie

George

also the kind of person to like joke abt it but be internally freaking out

might actually show he's freaking out sometimes but will deny it later

probably less prepared for someone fainting than Dream is

this boy orders takeaway for most meals, you think he's gonna have ice packs??

he will feel bad abt it tho and prob do smth like order u doordash ice cream

starts stashing snacks and bottled sport drinks around his place for u

acts like it's so inconvenient for him to do that when it was literally his decision

if you bluff like "well I guess I'll just leave it alone then 🙄" then he'll get so pouty and just walk around huffing dramatically until u actually eat/drink one of them

then he's back to acting like he's a total genius and the most caring person ever

Sapnap

definitely the most outwardly concerned of the three

reaches out to steady you but is too nervous to actually make contact so it's just you leaning on a wall or your cane and him with his hands hovering around u worriedly

(he'll be able to help steady you eventually he's just anxious)

"are you ok dude??? you almost wiped out holy shit??"

sits on the floor w you when u have ur legs propped up

eventually asks to keep some of your meds with him just in case

is always a little freaked out when you get dizzy

idk man he just seems super sweet and concerned for everyone all the time

#mcyt x reader #dream x reader #sapnap x reader #georgenotfound x reader

169 notes · View notes

princeofbriar · 1 year

Text

silly little goofball reader x vil thoughts

ive pondered the idea of a pomefiore reader insert for a while. one that's silly, a class clown really. i am pretty partial to jesters tho and twst has an agonizing lack of harlequin-esque characters for a fairytale based game. where are my diamond print tights and jingly little hats??? im literally dying here.

i much prefer actual dorm related reader inserts to the generic you-are-yuu inserts. dont get me wrong, i like both, but i think it can get boring if EVERY insert or scenario is the same one. ill have to post more about other inserts i might consider writing blurbs for.

i think bouncing off of vil, rook, and epels personalities would be prime for a little funnyman. you're not exactly disruptive or chaotic, but you like to have a good time and crack jokes. oftentimes met with the chagrin of vil, who tries very hard not to humor your little games. he doesn't hide his grin behind his hand, because youre not funny at all. if you prank the other dorms or do things out of sight of vil, that's one thing, but you don't get to be a little clown right in his line of sight.

vil's your king and you're his silly little guy. i think it leaves room for a very close relationship only privy to the two of you (and rook) because others just see you getting in trouble with your dorm leader, but you respect him in your own way. you certainly wont tolerate any bad talk about your beloved senpai. and despite being a shit-stirring little so and so, you do listen to vil when he tells you that you have to follow a skincare routine and he's kind enough to give you tips on your theatrical makeup. (whats that meme of the two girls, one sitting on the other while she does the other girls makeup? thats the type of energy for this relationship)

epel is grateful to have at least one upperclassman who isnt so caught up in trying to make him act like someone he's not. you're more than happy to sneak sweets and junk food with him, and make the punishment for getting caught at least partly bearable (if it werent for your awful puns).

#tbh all my inserts are gn #twst x reader #pomefiore polycule

22 notes · View notes

nicosraf · 1 year

Note

Hello there! Fellow mexican here🇲🇽!

Just got done reading ABM, and I never read anything like it in my life, truly amazing book. So magnificent, I got a reading hangover from it, to the point where no book i pick up can live up to its grandeur. This is no joke. U blew my mind sir.

I was raised in a very religious family, and was always taught god was good, because he loves all of his creation and wants the best for us all. But this book showed me another side of god I never could’ve imagined. It was terrifying and heartbreaking. Some nights i cried to sleep. But the story was just too amazing, so beautifully written, I didn’t care if it was blasphemy. I was immersed. 100%

I gotta ask tho, would u consider writing a sequel to your book in the future? You left me (and im sure many others) wanting more! I was left wondering whatever became of those who were once Lucifer’s friends, and how did Michael feel about all this? A sequel where we maybe get to see satan’s corruption of man, and the downfall of the watchers. 🤔

Hi! I'm really happy you enjoyed aaaaa!! Sorry about the tears and the blasphemy but thank you for all the kind words. It means a lot to me! Especially from a fellow mexican <33 I always say the book was written for latinos in particular sksksk

Now about a sequel — I've been pretty secretive about it partly because I'm so busy but I'm feeling very nice today so yes there will definitely be more :)) I didn't name drop Azazel and Samyaza for nothing, and trust me there's a LOT more I want to say about Lucifer and Michael (and Baal >:)) and Rosier and Asmodeus and everyone else! (And Adam and Eve and Cain >:))

But! I can't say much!! I'm very excited for when yall read it though!

#more funny Michael x Lucifer x Baal shenanigans hahah #angels before man #also BOY do i have thoughts on CAIN #and i mean THOUGHTS #yall will see #warning: things will be very sad though #it has to get worse before it gets better #but it will get better i promise (i hope)#mine #ask

20 notes · View notes

strobichie · 2 years

Text

+ Sunny, Basil, Aubrey, and Kel with a darling who is from a wealthy family ,, ( Non-yandere | Platonic or romantic. Whatever you want. )

+ ;; Sunny ;

• He doesn’t think about it a lot. But sometimes he gets reminded of your status and it bugs him quite a bit. Knowing that you’re a rich kid around normal people, you could basically do anything you want since you have all the power to. Kinda scared of you but feels safe knowing that you’re one of his “ friends “ and such. Your parents weren’t any different from you. They still looked as fresh as ever. Like freshly out of college. They still had that teenage energy. Hell, they were both even so understanding! He’s kinda jealous. And wow, you’re even a famous TikToker? Just how lucky are you? While your fans are busy fanning over you, you’re here spoiling him and the others with all of that money… he kind of wonders why you moved here in the first place. And you’d always reply with ; “ Cuz life’s just so boring I’d keep on moving place to place to find something to entertain me even for a few seconds. But now I’m thinking of staying here because of you guys. You all make me complete. “

+ Basil ,, ;

• He’s trying to mentally calm down… hell, your fans are even questioning whether you’re in a relationship with him or not. You’re just too good for him… he’s jealous of you having the most understanding parents ever!! You’re quite lucky, aren’t you, Naegi? He’s overwhelmed about this whole ordeal! Poor boy needs a break. Perhaps you both can hang out in a really expensive place and go on a ‘ little ‘ trip to Paris? And you’re paying! - wait, you always are… he sometimes also tries to convince you to let him pay. But you just laugh it off and shove one of your credit cards in his face. While silently holding his hand, walking to who-knows-where.

+ Aubrey ! ,, ;

• I don’t actually know what she’d think or do in this situation… she’d probably just scoff at you and let you do your thing. Sometimes she feels guilty for having you to pay for her things. Yeah.. but you were telling her that it was alright and that you’d pay everything for her! So it was partly your fault, miss gworl 🤭. She doesn’t like it when you spoil her and the rest of the gang, they have their own money… and don’t even get me started on TikTok. I’d think she’d probably see TikTok as shit but well… not that much anymore due to you being a famous TikTok star. Whenever you want her to join in one of your TikToks, she’d mentally scream deep down in the inside. “ ( Name ) - u-uh… I don’t think I wanna join you in your little TikTok, sorry. “ she’d always say, trying to awkwardly not get involved in the situation whereas your fans would start speculating she’s your partner or secretly your sister.

+ Kel -,, ;

• Kinda gets uncomfortable, but doesn’t mind it much. Since he doesn’t want despair and all that. But he likes it when he joins in one of your videos and sometimes enjoys it when you spoil him. It slowly becomes too much to the point where he’d sit down and think about his life. Yeah he likes you parents, you, everything about you. But he doesn’t like it when your fans go ; “ Oemji!! Is that your boyfriend / partner?????? “ it’s just uncomfortable for him. But he slowly gets used to it. Hell, he’s even starting to joke about it and you’d both laugh it off.

- - - Sorry if some of these are OOC, I’m quite new to OMORI if you can’t tell. I’ll try to improve tho! And no, I’m not trying to stereotype famous TikTokers. This is just the reader being a whole Junko kinnie, and a bit of a crack post? I dunno. But besides all of that- thanks for reading!!

#Omori #omori kel #omori sunny #omori fanfic #omori aubrey #omori basil #platonic #romantic #gn reader #reader

6 notes · View notes

daisylikesmedia · 2 years

Text

Series 5 Episode 3: Victory of the Daleks

Ok so here we go, the infamous first historical. Series 4 was able to save even these kinds of episodes from my criticism, can series 5 do the same? Woah and there’s DALEKS in this story?! Well damn now we’ve gotta watch it let's go.

I’m gonna quickly run through the usual points in these episodes. So any fun genre-bending based on the time period/story? Nope. Interesting villains? …we’ll get to that. Glorification of the time period/historical figure? Holy shit yeaa it’s bad. As you’ve probably been able to notice, I’m not incredibly well read on history (@me thinking that The Shakespeare Code was an 1800s episode lfdjsk), but that’s partly because I find history to be quite ugly. No-one personifies that ugliness more than Winston Churchill. As someone who was born and raised in the UK, Winston Churchill is portrayed as a hero to us through our education and media. The truth, obviously, is a lot more complicated than that. He was a guy who was willing to use entire countries and millions of people’s lives as pawns in his war game VS the Nazis, and undoubtedly caused a crazy amount of suffering across Europe during the war. And we just gave him DALEKS?! It’s the perfect opportunity to explore this ugly side of his character but surprisingly enough Mark Gatiss doesn’t have the balls to do so. Like even at the end of this story there’s no anger/resentment that is shown towards Winston Churchill from The Doctor for using literal walking war crimes in the form of the Daleks. AA I grumble.

The Daleks are also sadly underutilised in this script. Their whole plan was to infiltrate WWII Britain, make a humanoid robot and implanting Dalek ideas into his brain so he can create Daleks on Earth (which is a whole mess in itself), and then use these Daleks purely as bait to get The Doctor to come and awaken the paradigm. Surely it’s easier for them to just… invade anyways? With none of the infiltration. Like, if you want The Doctor to come just make some noise somewhere and he’ll come running cause you’re *Daleks*. Why do all this espionage? It makes no sense to me, and it makes a joke out of the “master strategists” that the Daleks are supposed to be. THO the rainbow pride month Daleks do look cool, and I’m sad they didn’t stick to their guns and explore them more in other episodes because I still think they could’ve been made threatening/had their own personalities like the Cult of Skaro. It makes their escape in this episode feel incredibly lazy and underwhelming knowing they literally never get addressed again.

There is one person that saves this episode from being truly awful, and that person is Matt Smith. He acts his ass off during this episode, and nails The Doctor’s anger and angst towards the Daleks here. They are his biggest enemy and he sells it so well. Every time The Doctor was interacting with the Daleks it was just gold, and if you had any doubts about whether or not Matt Smith could nail The Doctor those should be thoroughly wiped away in this episode.

TL:DR/Overview: Glorification at possibly its worst in new who, a complete misuse of the Daleks, and a stunning lack of creativity or education when dealing with the time period. This episode, despite Matt Smith doing his best to save it with an electric performance, is Series 5’s first big miss. C tier.

#daisy reviews media #doctor who #11th doctor #victory of the daleks

2 notes · View notes

ruralbi · 2 years

Text

on the baby boy issue... its cause i honestly am kinda dumb, like i cant count, im dyslexic, i understand things slowly, im an air head. and im kinda childish and not very serious at all. very shrug what can you do type. i dont like responsability and wing everything. and im very effeminate so my partners tend to go with that kind of vocabulary for me.

my ex coworker was all abt the princess shit, like oh precious delicate love u on ur knees u ill take care of you (with my cock) type.

my ex is just an asshole who doesnt tell me anything positive ever. he still does the baby boy routine in his own way tho, just the insulting kind. if im using a tool he'll be like fancy you'll hurt yourself put that down and he takes over. he does all the house maintenance and he wont let me lift heavy shit as if i dont have a manual labor job as well 🙄 he also does it for cooking, like oh fancy dont even try to cook you'll burn the kitchen down. on that he might b right tho im shit at cooking. it suits me just fine that he cooks for me all the time.

he's very like dont worry your pretty little head abt it. dont think too hard you'll hurt yourself. stand there and look pretty, we dont need your dumbass opinion. like when we all work construction with our friends he'll constantly make misogynistic jokes towards me, like go get me a beer, don't break a nail there, oh that's too complicated for you to understand, let a real man do it. everyone just thinks he's being homophobic and im there thinking see if i suck ur dick tonight after this :/

i tell him to fuck off obviously but he still does it.

my current coworker that might b trying to date me does do the baby boy routine but in the exact opposite way. to quote that tv show, he treats me like fabergé egg. he still talks to me like im stupid and fragile, but in an arent you darling i'll take care you (not yet with my cock) way. he's constantly like u have this to do fancy dont forget, here's a coffee fancy, do u want some tobacco fancy u forgot yours. he's always giving me things and driving me places and reminding me of stuff and wanting to cook for me. its extremely practical but does remind me very much of the baby boy routine. one day he was like "r u sure u can survive without me" jokingly bc i was leaving work without my bike helmet by accident. i was hehehe honestly yes!!! in a cutesy way but inside i was like bitch im 29 years old and ive known you 6 months SO yes i think i can survive indepentely. its partly my fault tbh bc when he was starting to flirt i amped up the whole wahhh i cant do anything routine, jokes abt how i cant cook, my house is a mess, im disorganised etc.

its all true and its meant to discourage onlookers but there's a certain kind of person that clearly thinks its the cutest thing that im really useless. which?? whatever i dont get it but im not abt to complain when I get hot dudes helping me all the time, even if the trade off is that they think im stupid. which honestly? i kinda am so whatever.

#my ex #my ex coworker #my coworker

0 notes

jinruihokankeikaku · 2 years

Text

people will debate endlessly "is SNK fascist" "is it pacifist" "is it liberal/centrist" "is it anti-racist" "is it nationalist" which like are valid questions when it comes to discussing the social and political implications of a work and its themes but if you were to ask me i would say that Isayama's intended main thesis is "you should enjoy when it's a nice day out" and the geopolitical stuff is more or less window-dressing.

#kind of joking here. partly not joking tho #and of course using such political themes as window-dressing for a fundamentally less-than-political story is questionable #from an artistic or a social standpoint #but i am just amused sometimes by the endless discourse over whether Isayama is 'imperialist' or 'anti-imperialist'#when arguably THE central theme of the work amounts to 'make love not war'#(if this post sounds like an endorsement or a condemnation of SNK or its author please be assured that it is intended as neither.)

12 notes · View notes

retroaria · 3 years

Text

Sapnap: Fluff Alphabet

cc!Sapnap x reader

pronouns: gender neutral

warnings: just swearing

here’s my 500 Follower Event ^o^

A is for Affection (How do they like to show affection?)

sapnap would give you so many compliments omg. he loves making you all smiley and blushy :) he just wants to make sure that you are always aware of the fact that he thinks you’re the most perfect thing to ever exist

B is for Bond (What kind of bond do you guys have? What could your relationship be labeled as?)

the best friend couple!!! sapnap tells you literally everything. any drama going on or any strong emotions he’s feeling, you know about it. most of the time, the second something happens his brain immediately goes “omg i have to tell y/n”. you guys always complain about the same things and get excited over the same things. you are genuinely one of the most important people in his life and he doesn’t know how he’d do it without you.

C is for Comfort (How do they comfort their s/o?)

he will literally drop everything just to hold you and not speak for like hours if you so needed. he strikes me as a naturally comforting person to the people he really cares about so I say he gets an A+ in this department

D is for Dates (What are dates with them like?)

dates with sapnap are either really chill or super fun. he’s the type of guy that would take you to play laser tag or to an arcade or a trampoline park. he’s like a little kid i love sapnap :3

E is for Emotions (How do they express their emotions around you?)

he’s a pretty expressive person when it comes to certain things. at the very least he definitely wears his heart on his sleeve a little so it isn’t hard to tell even if he does try hiding stuff. and like I said he tells you everything.

F is for Fiancé (How long into the relationship before they propose?)

I feel like he’s so young and he really just wouldn’t be thinking about that too seriously for awhile. like he loves you and you guys have talked about having a future together but he isn’t in any rush at all. hell just do it when he feels is the right time not matter how long it takes.

G is for Gentle (Are they gentle?)

it depends on the situation. he’s definitely the type of guy to pick you up from a super comfy position and just body slam you on the bed. but if he can tell you’re not in the mood to play around like that he’ll just sit down and hold you, so yeah he can be gentle. but most of the time be prepared for playful fist fights and getting picked up and thrown every now and then lol.

H is for Hand Holding (How do they like hand holding?)

sapnap always holds your hand. in fact he makes an effort to search for it whenever you aren’t holding hands. and sometimes he’ll even get whiny about it especially with like a lot of people around he’ll be like, “babe, why aren’t you holding my hand :( what if I get lost how are you gonna find me this place is big”

I is for I Love You (Who said “I love you” first?)

he did !! the first time sapnap said “I love you” was probably one of his most confident moments. he was so proud to be able to say it and so sure of himself and his feelings for you.

J is Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

YES OH MY GOD. he gets super jealous and it’s so easy to tell omg. his attitude starts to get like super bad and he is very clearly annoyed by the situation. he won’t ever be too overbearing about it and if you ever feel like he is once you sit him down and explain that he’ll back off a bit. but he’s still gonna be bothered by it so just always remind him that he love him and no one else.

K is for Kiss (What’s kissing them like?)

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM ACTUALLY GOING TO BE DESCRIPTIVE SO IM SORRY IF ITS CRINGE. anyways, he’d be a pretty deep kisser but not like full on making out every single time. he just likes to make them last and he isn’t one to just give you random kisses all throughout the day so it always feels special. kissing him makes you feel all warm and happy inside.

L is for Love Language (What’s their love language?)

sapnaps love language is quality time or acts of service!! i’d say mainly quality time. even while long distance he just likes having you on call while he does stuff or even just complaining to you about how tired he is while actively not going to bed so he can keep talking to you lol. he just likes having you around it’s a huge comfort for him. i say acts of service because he would get so giddy and happy anytime you did something special for him. he would show it off and brag about it forever and it would genuinely mean so much to him aahhajdxh i love sapnap

M is for Memories (Their favourite memory with their s/o?)

For your first time seeing each other irl, sapnap flew to where you live and you guys spent a whole week together. his favorite memories are definitely from that first week of seeing each other in person. of course you guys already had an amazing relationship while long distance, but there’s something so different about finally meeting the person you’re with in real life. it felt like he had to start over from scratch and you guys had to get to know each other all over again. also the idea of now having to build a physical bond. it was just such an amazing and beautiful experience. definitely the one that made him realize he really is in love with you.

N is for Nicknames (Their favourite nicknames given and received?)

IM SO BAD AT THINKING OF CUTE NAMES USHSJDH. probably just babe tho lol. for fem!readers, i can totally picture him using princess in a slightly sarcastic tone.

O is for Open (At what point do they start opening up to you about their life and feelings?)

mmm i’d say he actually starts opening up to you pretty early into the relationship. If you guys were like really close friends before hand he’s definitely already opened up to you. He doesn’t really have that many people in his life that he doesn’t trust.

P is for PDA (Are they into PDA?)

not really but he isn’t like super shy about it if that makes sense ??? like he’s 100% fine with hand holding, hugging, and light pecks when saying hello or goodbye.

Q is for Quiz (How much do they remember about you?)

I don’t think he really tries to remember stuff but he just does and he’s always making connections to you and things he sees and stuff it’s so cute :)

R is for Romantic (How romantic are they?)

he tries but he isn’t exactly the most romantic boy. like I said before you guys have a best friend type of connection so when it comes to romance he doesn’t go too above and beyond because he just doesn’t feel like he needs to. but on special occasions he will do something nice for you. He likes taking you out places !!

S is for Security (How protective/possessive are they?)

very much of both. once again, total sapnap vibes. i’d say he’s a lot more possessive than protective. he would never stop you from doing things like going out without him and having guy friends or making flirty jokes. he trusts you so much partly cus he’s a little narcissistic LMAO. but when a serious threat comes about he can get kinda crazy.

T is for Try (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)

GAAAAAA HE PUTS SO MUCH EFFORT IN!! you would probably be like his first ever serious partner so he would try his best at literally everything. in the beginning of the relationship you could totally tell how nervous he was at times but as you guys got more comfortable he just became an effortlessly amazing bf

U is for Uphold (How do they show you they’re proud? What kind of support do they give you?)

he talks about you so muchjahsjxjxh mostly to dream and george or on stream and he brags about you too. he can get pretty cocky about it but his friends can’t get mad because it’s literally adorable how whipped he is.

V is for Vaunt (Do they like to show off?)

YES OF COURSE !!! it’s sapnap guys…come on. literally any little accomplishment you make is turned into a way bigger deal than it should be because of him. he’s so proud of for literally just existing and he talks about all the cool stuff you’ve done all the time

W is for Wild Card (A random fluff headcanon.)

you guys really like going to different food places and eating different items compared to other places. THIS IS SO RANDOM LMAOO but like…sapnap would definitely have fun doing that

X is for X-ray (How well can they read you and your emotions/feelings?)

mmm he can usually tell if you’re acting strange or being distant. he cant always figure out exactly what’s wrong but he knows it’s something and he would confront you about it like almost immediately or whenever he thought would be a good time for you

Y is for Yearning (How much do they miss their s/o when they’re gone?)

he literally talks about you non stop when you’re apart. and when you guys are on the phone he comes up with all these plans for you guys to do when you see each other again and he always wants you to join vc on his streams if you can. in conclusion he misses you like crazy

Z is for Zebra (What kind of pet would they want with their s/o?)

A CAT!! or like a bearded dragon lol.

IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS HAGSKDHD

school is literally kicking my ass so hard man 😔

i’m gonna try to write more, working on a karlnap weed fic rn too LMAO

I’m taking a major creative writing class rn so between writing for school and writing for tumblr i am so drained but i promise i’ll get back into the swing of things soon :)

love you guys, thank you for everything and stay safe <333

@crackityy @fantasy-innit @joyfullymulti @k-l-a-w-s

#mcyt headcanons #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #mcyt #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #sapnap preferences #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n #sapnap headcanons #sapnap imagine #sapnap x reader #sapnap fanfic

284 notes · View notes

oftenderweapons · 3 years

Text

Meeting the Squad | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy), feat. BTS and their gfs

Wordcount: 4.8k

Genre: crack, fluff, angst

Rating: 18+

So, @scooby-galleta sent me this request a bit ago, and now, here it is!

hi miss Dita! hope you are doing great :) congratulations on reaching your first milestone!🎉 you are a really talented lady, and you deserve the world ❤️ now, I don't really know how the commissions and prompts works, so bare with me ok? 😅 OK, so you said to ask for something we would like to read, and you know how in jk's steamy waters it's mentioned the night he introduced candy to the guys? well, I really want to know more about that moment, like how was it, their thoughts and feelings during the meeting, all of that you know? and was it just the guys or the girls were there too? sorry if it's a little weird 😬 blame it on my love for your characters, and honestly? I live for the interactions they have with each other :) also, sorry for doing this through a submission, it got super long 😳 have a nice day/night! 💖

Trigger warnings: allusive jokes and comments, alcohol consumption, angst in form of TWO BIG LARGE FOOLS (one of them is actually not that large) REFUSING TO SAY THEY'RE HEAD OVER HEELS FOR EACH OTHER WITH ONE OF THEM BEING A VERY VERY STUPID DUMBASS KEEPING SECRETS. The maknae line is a flock of manaces and there's another pair of fools who is actually trying to deal with their issues. Guess who's who. TaexLace are intimidating and YoongixKitten are parental. The Soulmates are two gossips. NamjoonxVixen are full-time honeymooning (tho they aren't actually on their honeymoon).

almost forgot! This was beta read by my 2 favourite people, @nervous-moon and @joheunsaram. I love you, my bby 💜💜💜💖💖💖

here’s my masterlist! enjoy ✨💜

Entering the room was only mildly scary. And there were way more women than you thought.

“Everyone, this is ____, but you can just call her Candy.” Jeongguk said to the whole room, your eyes immediately meeting Jimin's kind and warm ones.

“Hi Candy!” he cheered, immediately friendly, and though you bowed to him, he opened his arms. “I wouldn't let a sister just bow. Come on.” And how could you deny him? His embrace was warm and welcoming, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Princess is around here somewhere…” he said with a large smile. “Welcome to the squad.”

You felt a blush creep to your cheeks as you thanked him, Jeongguk standing behind you, trying to be an anchor for you.

Seeing all seven of the wondrous BTS men in one single room was mind-blowing, but you got used to it pretty easily. While working for Big Hit, you had often caught glimpses of them, but your job was far from the guys' position and duties.

“Hello, I'm Kim Taehyung. Nice to meet you. And this is Lace, my girlfriend,” his introduction was brief and formal, the woman so alluring you had to blink a couple times to gather her opulent beauty, so full and vibrant that you struggled to understand it completely. “Nice to meet you too, guys,” you greeted them, picking up on their casual tone.

“Let's see if you can guess the couples. Some of them are easy, you have only four left to figure out,” Lace said, breaking the ice.

“How fun! Yes!” you agreed before observing the people in the room. “Okay, Yoongi and the girl beside him, drinking… maybe?” you mused, observing the way they talked quietly together.

Taehyung smiled and tutted. “Try again.”

“Of course, the one sitting, wearing black, talking with the bright coloured one, who should be Hoseok's girlfriend?”

Lace nodded, her face shaped in a lazy smile. “That's right. Only partly. That's just a very close friend of Hoseok. But they're probably dating. Don't tell him we know.”

You found yourself trying to hold back a snicker as you nodded. “So, the girl with Yoongi is probably Seokjin's and… The one helping Jin with the food is Namjoon's. Right?”

“Yes, that's right.” Lace’s enigmatic smile once more appeared, her hand naturally gravitating towards Taehyung’s waist. “We’re very happy to finally meet you. Jeongguk has told us quite a lot about you. He talks about you all the time,” Taehyung said, looking at the maknae with a proud expression. “We're glad to know he's in safe hands this time around.”

The compliment sank in slowly. Apparently you had passed Kim Taehyung's mythological vibe check. You were absolutely grateful for the door to the balcony opening, Namjoon and Hoseok emerging with two sets of beers. “Hey there!” the smaller one greeted you, already using informal speech since he knew you were born the same year as him.

“Hello!” you cheered back. Hoseok was easygoing from the very start. The way he introduced himself to you lively but not in an unsettling way. His friend greeted you next, her personality already manifesting itself with her strawberry blonde hair and the cute sprinkle of freckles peppering her nose. Plus, when she told you she works as a vet, she became your favourite human in the room.

After Jeongguk, of course.

“Nice to meet you,” spoke a deep voice from beside the fridge.

So it was actually true, Namjoon's voice was significantly lower in real life.

It was impressive. You were also impressed by his charisma, immediately understanding why he was the leader. However, that vibe of formality soon dissolved once a warm smile appeared on his face, turning him into the gentle giant Jeongguk always waxed poetic about. Watching the two of them hug felt very warm, like they were saying something to each other without even talking.

“Vixen? Come say hi,” Namjoon called, his hand moving slightly as if to invite her.

You had maybe never seen a woman so… so pretty. She was just. Pretty.

Her face spoke of gentleness and charm. “Hello,” she chirped, and no matter how small she looked beside her partner, she sounded like a queen.

“Uhm… Hello, hi, I'm _____.”

She smiled and you were slightly taken aback by it, your eyes running away, only to notice her hand in Namjoon’s. That felt endearing.

As the night progressed, you couldn’t help studying everyone as they moved across the living room.

Yoongi and Kitten were the exact opposite. They were sitting at different ends of the table and between them you could feel the reassuring solidity of a bond made of steel. They both greeted you, Kitten looking like someone who would take a while before speaking a word to you. Yoongi, although happy for his friend, also looked incredibly wary. Nothing like the exhilarating fireworks of the woman at his side — Angel — who seemed to be set on a very high average of oxytocin in her blood considering how bubbly and sparkly she was — but that was probably a side effect of being Kim Seokjin's girlfriend. Her expression got even brighter the moment he appeared behind her, placing a hand on her back, greeting you easily. Namjoon and Vixen seemed to be close all the time in a secret dance that oscillated between reassurance and attraction: even a fool would have noticed the insane chemistry between them. It was as if electricity was sizzling in the very air that divided them.

Watching all the interactions was fascinating and confusing at the same time: Hoseok and Giggles especially.

Jeongguk stared at them together with you. From what he had told you, Hoseok and him were the ones who had taken the longest to find a significant other — and formally, his hyung was still looking.

Jin had been the first and, quite apparently, he and his Angel were the kind of couple that didn't need much skinship to show their bond. From the way they talked to each other and looked at each other, you could feel so many things hidden, kept away from the public eye, from them sitting side by side at the table, moving in perfect synchrony, to the way their glances lingered on each other, Seokjin blushing and fussing each time Angel complimented his cooking — which was very often. He always said it was Namjoon's girlfriend's merit and moved on, still, he sported a proud smile on his face. Jeongguk looked at your face as you watched his friends around the table, his free hand touching your knee chastely, calling your attention.

You turned towards him, waiting for him to tell you something while all he did was smile, unknowingly becoming the object of Yoongi's attention.

The older man sat beside Jin and across from his girlfriend, who was instead sitting beside Jeongguk. It was a very complicated social network, where everyone seemed to have many things going on other than the insistent thanking for the food and complimenting culinary skills. Taehyung, for example, seemed to live in a different world from his girlfriend altogether — they had mentioned they had officially got together only a few weeks before and they were still settling. Still they seemed to radiate the same steady, pulsating magic, somewhat a fairy king and the most florid of nymphs. Across them, Giggles chuckled quietly, chatting with Kitten so comfortably that the two of them didn't quite make sense the same way Yoongi and Hoseok didn't, but at the same time, like their boyfriends, they seemed to be each other's favoured interlocutor. And then there was Jimin and Namjoon sitting at the shorter ends of the table. Jimin's Princess ate politely, in silence, mostly because like you she was busy scanning the table — and Hoseok most of all. You assumed it was because he was her boyfriend's roommate, and closest member.

You took your time before addressing your gaze to the other end of the table, where another kind of silence reigned.

Namjoon's compliments to his partner were quiet, barely hearable. She ate so elegantly, she looked so classy and poised, though from personal experience, you asked yourself what kind of undercurrents flowed under her crystalline looks. Her gaze was so sharp that once you met it, you averted your eyes, feeling your cheeks blush.

Though Jimin and Hoseok kept asking you questions, and you were eager to converse with them, Namjoon was kind enough to remind everyone you still needed to eat in peace.

“So, how was your trip, Vixen?” The question was casual, if not spoken a bit too brightly. The fact that it had come from Kitten made it even more curious.

The young woman seemed to brighten up all of a sudden. “It was amazing.” She fixed her hair casually, shyly, her whole face reddening, she turned to Namjoon and the glance between them was so intimate, so eloquent, his expression proud and happy.

“It really meant a lot to both of us. It was very relaxing after all the running and working for the tour,” Namjoon replied, looking at Kitten first, Yoongi next.

“We relaxed too, you know” Yoongi teased, stage whispering.

Watching Kitten bite her lip, you were glad for Jimin chirping in. “They're neighbours,” said the saccharine gossip.

You sucked in your lips while Jeongguk cackled mischievously. “You should go on holiday more often, hyung,” your boyfriend commented casually, his hand squeezing your knee unassumingly.

You looked at him, at his bright, boyish smile, at his cute cheeks. He was so in love with his people and you were so glad his quiet and timid persona had grown so splendidly in that environment.

“Well, after being apart for the tour, we all needed some quality time,” Lace admitted. She looked at Taehyung and once more, a veil of privacy seemed to cover her words as she reached his face and moved a lock of hair out of his face, the man basking in the softness of his lover.

“That's true,” you confirmed, searching for Jeongguk's hand to reassure him.

“Ouchie!” said a girly voice on the opposite end of the table. Giggles.

Hoseok was all over her in an instant, wrapping a tissue over her finger. “Clumsy berry,” he scolded her, his voice drenched in worry. “How did you even cut yourself.”

“I got distracted!” she whined back, Hoseok's lineaments becoming harsh in an instant before softening equally quickly.

Everyone was frozen in place, only Vixen standing up and expertly opening a cabinet to find a first aid kit.

“Thanks Vixen, but we should head to the bathroom so I can disinfect the cut.”

She smiled calmly as the other two stood up, Hoseok grabbing the kit and fussing over his… friend.

“Do we need to keep pretending he's not head over heels for her?” Vixen commented, finishing the last veggies on her plate, Namjoon eating her carrots while offering her his sliced cucumbers.

“I don't want to deal with the consequences of getting on his nerves,” Kitten admitted, Princess agreeing with a hum.

“He'll come around, at his own time,” Yoongi commented noncommittally.

Once they were back and all the food had been eaten, the team seemed to slip into comfortable little habits. “I'll do the dishes,” Namjoon informed, his girlfriend following him like a shadow.

“Let me help,” Angel exclaimed, wearing an apron as Vixen leaned against the counter, grabbing a cloth.

You were a bit confused, but you didn't have much time for that as the infamous soulmates dragged you and your boyfriend to the living room.

“Have you seen the rings? That vacation was definitely more than what they told us,” Jimin conspired. “Do you think they eloped?”

“Vixen would never,” Lace replied with surety.

“But she's been a bit off lately. Maybe they're expecting,” Taehyung suggested.

Lace and Princess shook their heads in unison. “Nah,” the latter excluded, looking at the scene by the kitchen sink.

“Angel and Jin are very different from last time,” Jeongguk noticed, Jimin blinking rapidly, knowing that what he knew shouldn't absolutely be shared.

“Maybe the alone time helped them too.”

Jeongguk hummed, thinking. “It's like… There's tension.”

You looked at how Jin kept chatting with his friends while keeping an eye on the figure by the counter. He was in love for sure, but there was also longing. A longing that shouldn't be half as painful considering the fact that the woman he was pining for was his girlfriend and loved him quite evidently — almost eclatantly so.

“I know I've never seen them before but I agree with you, there's tension,” you spoke softly, only needing for Jeongguk to hear.

“Angel is tense. Work and family keep squeezing her up, and she's tired. And Jin coming back didn't help. There's been rough days lately,” Princess informed.

“Isn't hyung helping?” Jeongguk asked, extremely concerned. He knew Angel was the perfect woman for Seokjin. But maybe he wasn't the perfect man?

“Help needs to be wanted in order to work, Kook,” Princess said with a heavy tone. “Maybe his help is not what she needs.”

Kitten and Yoongi reached the living room shortly after. As soon as he sat down, he spoke, “If anyone else needs to pick a ring, please don’t ask me for help.”

“Is he getting married?” Hoseok asked, joining the conversation as soon as he arrived.

“Hopefully,” Seokjin mused. “Vixen's been a blessing to him. Of course he would want to put a ring on it as soon as possible. Though it's very soon, I'll concede.”

Giggles sat far away from Hoseok, his eyes following her before a frown obscured his fine visage.

Yoongi nodded. “He knows what he's doing. Like he always has.” Kitten brought some beer and soju bottles on the table, Yoongi patting the empty seat beside him and her following his invitation immediately. He continued, “He believes in it. Like he believed in all of us.”

Jeongguk's arm snaked behind your shoulders and pulled you into him slightly before speaking, “One time he told me being with her is like laying on the grass in a park on a sunny day. He has no worries at her side.” You smiled at the image. It was a very Namjoon thing to say.

“Are you doing better, Giggles?” Lace asked after a couple seconds of silence, the conversation shifting to another topic.

“Yes, I just realised while you were all suffering for the tour, I hadn't even met Hoseok yet.” Her embarrassed look made you realise she was the kind of girl you could turn into one of your cartoon characters.

“Well, they're abroad this September for a few days, so you're going to experience their unexpected trips,” Princess spoke distractedly, toying with her necklace.

Giggles' face fell. “Oh.” She seemed to lock herself away further.

Hoseok internally cringed. That was his thing to tell. “There's a bunch of interviews mixed with recording and shooting new content.”

“You don't need to tell me.” You could tell she was being a little hostile.

“I need some fresh air. Giggles, would you like to come with?” Vixen asked by the living room door. The other woman stood, Hoseok slightly conflicted as he watched them head to the balcony.

“You're crazy,” Lace spoke, Taehyung placing a protective hand on her leg, Hoseok still too shaken by the rollercoaster of emotions that the whole night had been so far. “Weren't you going to tell her?”

“I was going to!” he objected, standing up, freezing, then starting to pace.

Namjoon and Angel arrived just in time, Namjoon easily solving the crisis. “She's in good hands,” he spoke, reassuringly rubbing his friend's shoulder. “But I think you should reconsider how you feel for her.”

He nodded and sat back down, Angel squeezing in beside Jin, by the corner, the man placing his arm along the back of the sofa while she placed her head on his shoulder, Seokjin blushing only lightly at such a display of affection in that semi-private environment.

Namjoon immediately noticed there wasn't much room left, opting to sit on the floor and leave some space beside Lace, where Giggles would feel safe.

“So, you're a graphic designer and you worked for Big Hit?” he asked, his question very appreciated on your behalf. It was way more inclusive and unobtrusive than anything you had expected.

“Exactly,” you replied, kindly, politely.

“She also makes comics!” Jeongguk added enthusiastically. “Her main character is a bunny, can you believe that!?” He was so excited that you only blushed and laughed at his enthusiasm. He turned to look at your happy expression, taking in the sound of your laugh. “She's perfect, isn't she?” he murmured, suddenly so entirely enamoured with you.

Yoongi and Seokjin exchanged a knowing glance before looking at the maknae with a fond expression. Behind closed doors the older men had always discussed their worries about Jeongguk's character, noticing how his desperate need for a companion had led him to search for love in dark places. Seeing you glow at his side calmed them both, and watching Jeongguk's extremely private nature bloom in your company was their biggest relief.

“I just draw little illustrations and post them online. No biggie,” you replied shyly, trying to dismiss Jeongguk's exaggeration.

“Oh, I need to follow you then!” Hoseok exclaimed, trying to stay in the conversation even though his gaze kept tumbling towards the way to the balcony.

You smiled at him and waved your hand. “Really, no need!”

Namjoon already had his phone out. “Drop the at, miss.”

You confessed it with a blush on your cheeks, your voice barely audible. “Thank you, guys,” you murmured as most of them typed in your username, Taehyung and Jimin exclaiming 'cute!' in unison as they found your page.

“In this house we support art,” Namjoon stated solemnly, smiling at you with warm eyes.

“I heard art!” said a voice from the kitchen, a curious expression on Vixen's face as she appeared on the doorway.

“Candy said she's a graphic designer and an illustrator,” Lace explained, her nose twitching a little as she sniffed at Taehyung. “You changed your cologne,” she whispered, her tone analytical.

“You said you like cedarwood,” he replied, Vixen picking up the conversation where Lace dropped it.

“That sounds so fun! Is there any kind of project you particularly enjoy?” she asked, smiling timidly as she noticed your eyes looking down, where Namjoon's hand grazed her calf.

“I really like doing mockups for websites. Different businesses mean different concepts so you never get bored,” you explained as she nodded, her hand subtly caressing Namjoon's hair as he leaned on her. They had to be in full honeymoon phase.

“I understand. That sounds very exciting. I guess it's the same reason why I love boutique hotels and luxury apartment buildings,” she confessed with a cheerful tone. You were a bit confused by her statement before Princess clarified, “she's an interior designer and art dealer.”

Your mouth went agape as you nodded. That made sense now. Even though you were still positive about her having a side job as a model. Though she wasn't the only one who could end up on a magazine even in their current homely attire.

Your sixth sense told you Kitten could easily strut down a catwalk and have everyone pining for her. Not to mention Princess.

“That sounds so interesting, really. As an artist it must be pretty fascinating to see things from the other side.” Her elegance seemed a little less intimidating now that you knew she was a fellow art lover.

“Oh, I spent many years living among artists and I must tell you your people are way more fascinating than mine!” Vixen seemed to get warmer and warmer as other conversations started developing around the two of you, Jeongguk and Namjoon observing your exchange in silence, smiling at each other as you got to know each other more, getting along perfectly.

“Well, now I know who to call if I have to design a nursery. Or if they ask me for an illustrator!” Vixen said with a chirpy laugh before promising you a courtesy ticket to her next exhibit.

Once your conversation concluded, Jeongguk and you looked at each other before he leaned his forehead against the top of your head.

“So, how is he doing, Candy?” Jimin asked, his voice tauntingly mischievous.

You chuckled. “He's not doing bad. At all. His fear of microwaves is slightly unnerving but very endearing. I can live with that,” you quipped, eliciting a reboant laugh from Taehyung.

“Really Guk? Still with the microwave?” he teased.

“I just prefer staying away. They're not that healthy anyways,” he considered. “I'm sure you have pet peeves too,” Jeongguk quipped, Princess getting the cue immediately.

“Oh, he has. He only washes the dishes with the gloves on because 'my hands are too delicate',” she said, imitating Jimin's voice and accent. “And the dirt on the dishes makes him queasy.”

“That's not true!” he scoffed, looking at his girlfriend with a pout.

“That is true,” Taehyung confirmed. “And you're a spoiled brat who likes to sleep in.”

Jeongguk stood and grabbed a drink, passing one to Namjoon and Seokjin too before he moved behind the sofa, placing a hand on your shoulder right before you laid your palm on top of it, touching your fingers.

“You always sleep in too!” Jimin contested, Lace nodding silently while her boyfriend stared at her with wide puppy eyes full of youth and adoration. From the way Taehyung looked at her you were sure you could safely bet your life on him treating her like his goddess. “I have such a beautiful girlfriend, I don't see why I shouldn't sleep beside her as long as I can.”

Jeongguk squeezed your hand, making you look at him. “Lovey dovey,” he whispered, making fun of his friend.

You shook your head before smiling mischievously. If he made fun of his friend it was only right for things to be even. “Well, Jeongguk still wakes up super early to work out—” He wore a threatening face before you turned to the guys. “But he always showers and comes back to bed because he says wants to watch me wake up.”

Jimin bent over, hand on your knee as he tried to hold himself from falling over with his uncontrollable laughter, while Taehyung simply stared at you with an amused look on his face. He knew Jeongguk was incredibly romantic, almost sappy, but you confirming it made his day — and also made him look at you with even more familiarity and affection; if you managed to make Kook happy, then he was happy too, and if you lovingly embraced his tender side and welcomed his gallant courting, then Taehyung couldn't expect anyone better for his friend. Plus, you playing along in the friendship dynamics was really something.

Nothing like his ex for sure.

“Don't be bothered by them. That's very sweet, Jeongguk. There are plenty of women out there who wish to have something like what you give to Candy,” Princess said tactfully, ever the balanced, soothing presence.

You picked your head up, tipping it back as you looked at him, sneakily mouthing an 'I love you' that made him blush to his ears and made you smile gently.

As your gaze fell once more to the people on the sofa, you noticed Yoongi and Kitten quietly chatting with Giggles, talking about her experience in the city since she had started working there only a couple months earlier. She was sitting beside Lace, just as Namjoon's move had hinted. Her face was adorably flushed and though her previous stressful situation, now she looked significantly more relaxed, mostly because of the couple's anchoring presence.

Out of all the couples in the room, they seemed extremely parental, so calm and composed, almost as if they were emanating reliability from their very pores. You simply listened to them for a while, studying their mannerism: Yoongi, apparently unaffected, chatted with his friend's crush while Kitten's arm, curved behind the sofa, allowed her hand to draw patterns on Yoongi's fresh undercut, where his hair had to be soft and short, like velvet under the touch.

However, your observation was cut short by Jimin calling you back into the conversation, which proceeded deep into the night, until half past midnight, when Vixen's intense yawning caused Namjoon to insist on them going home.

“I can lay down in your room, I don't want you to miss out,” she replied meekly, staring at her boyfriend with bambi eyes that reminded you of Jeongguk's most efficient persuasion techniques.

“I think we all need some sleep, right?” Yoongi added, since — contrary to you — he knew that Kitten petting his hair meant that she was sleepy.

“Uhm… Lace, are you taking the bus?” Giggles asked quietly, knowing that the woman was probably the only one headed in her same direction.

“I'll drive you home,” Taehyung reassured Giggles before Hoseok jumped in. “I'll drive you.”

Seokjin placed a hand on Hoseok's knee. “Let Taehyung drive her.”

Giggles looked visibly uncomfortable for a minute. “No… it's— it's okay, thank you Seokjin. I guess I'll just drive with Hoseok if he doesn't mind.”

He looked like the sun appearing from behind a cloud. “I don't mind at all.” His face was so relieved as it beamed up.

“Anyone staying in the dorms?” Yoongi asked, especially glancing at Namjoon, Vixen's eyes closed as her head leaned on his shoulder. “She's exhausted. I think we'll just crash here.”

Yoongi agreed with sympathy, Jimin and Hoseok obviously communicating with their eyes. They were the only ones who still shared a room.

“I'll head home after I drive her,” the older said.

“You're staying at mine, right?” Yoongi asked Kitten before she nodded sleepily. He smiled fondly. Now everyone seemed to look at Jeongguk. And you.

“No, I'm staying at mine tonight,” he informed, helping you up from the sofa.

“Good. Only Namjoon at the dorms. We're meeting here tomorrow to prepare for the interviews, right?” Seokjin questioned, reminding everyone of their unusual schedule.

“What time is it again?” saidTaehyung just as Jimin complained, “Not in the morning, please!”

“Tomorrow at two pm sharp. Please, let's be punctual since we all have people at home waiting for us,” Namjoon reminded everyone, his hand wandering to Vixen's smaller one.

“Okay, boss!” Jeongguk joked, everyone stirring into motion.

Yoongi and Kitten were the first to leave, saying bye to everyone as they left hand in hand, him wearing a bucket hat and her disappearing in a hoodie before joining him in the chilly summer night. Next were Seokjin and Angel, his lower face hidden behind a face mask while she carefully donned a silk scarf around her head.

Everyone seemed so skilled at concealing themselves and you realised that had become part of your life too as you pushed the hem of your hood down your face before saying goodbye to Vixen and Namjoon. You had almost wanted to hug her, but she was safely locked in Namjoon's embrace, his arms around her waist and her head slotted under his chin.

Everyone else left together with you and Jeongguk, Taehyung and Lace waving at you in the parking lot while you climbed into your boyfriend's car.

“We’re sleeping together tonight, right?” he asked, his voice frail.

“Yes, baby,” you confirmed before placing your hand on his leg.

He smiled at you. “Then let's go for a drive. I don't want them seeing me taking you to mine.”

You froze a little, confused. “Why…”

“They'll tease me non-stop. I don't care too much about that, I just care about you.” Jeongguk caught your hand and kissed it, your fear immediately dissipated. It was childish, but it was also extremely in style with his friends. “Also, in case anyone follows us from the dorms. Unwanted people.”

You agreed with a nod and let him drive you through a quick trip around his neighbourhood, enjoying the city lights and his exquisite playlist.

Once in the parking lot, he switched off the engine, waiting a couple minutes. He was almost ready to kill the lights when he spotted two figures in the dark.

“Get down,” he said, his voice protective, his hand on your head as you balled up in the space before the seat.

“Wait.” Jeongguk squinted at the two people, immediately recognising a sweater. As they turned and shifted, Jeongguk switched off the car.

“Fuck, we were right.”

“Kook?” you called, afraid.

“You can come up, baby. Come look.”

As you sat back up, you gasped. “Oh my god.”

You recognised a cascade of strawberry blonde hair, and a very colorful striped shirt. You had been staring at it most of the night.

Right before your eyes, under the cold neon lights of the parking lot Jung Hoseok was making out with his "friend", Giggles, and that hand was most definitely not looking for his keys as he pushed it up her shirt.

#Jungkook x reader #Jungkook x candy #Ask:scooby-galleta #Jungkook crack #jungkook fluff #52hertz #thebtswritersclub #thetruthuntoldnnet #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfiction

91 notes · View notes

actualbird · 3 years

Note

artems that guy whos like "youre sick!! rest! Do Not Come Back until you recover" and then when hes ill he calls in sick to work and then does all his paperwork in bed at home while he sniffles miserably until he passes out. nobody would even know if celestine didnt notice that he definitely fell asleep in the middle of signing smth LOL. celestine: did you get your sick germs on these important papers? artem: dont be ridiculous. i quarantined them for 24 hrs, theyre perfectly safe. mess of a man im obsessed with him

genuinely GENUINELY.

artem is such a smart and rational person but also i think that rationality takes a backseat sometimes when it comes to taking care of himself. my logic to this is not just because i think it's funny (tho that is a huge factor lmao) but also because like...

i have this general interpretation that artem brings his (ridiculous, meticulous, sometimes unattainable) stubborn perfectionism (which is partly his fault but also partly because of so many people holding him to a certain standard or putting him up on a pedestal) into so many aspects of his life. sickness is somehow an imperfection and the thing with perfectionists is that they try to fix imperfections in stupid ways sometimes, focusing on short term efficiency and productivity, because thats obviouuusly the most important thing here.

(wrong. artem, what the hell.)

artem strikes me as the kind of person who takes all the precautionary measures to keep his body as healthy as it possible can be. good diet, exercise, enough sleep, complete vaccination list, just the whole shebang. but the body is complicated and no matter what you do, you will end up getting sick somehow.

artem: this doesnt make sense. i did everything correctly.

body: doesnt matter, shit happens, go rest

artem: fine. but i refuse to rest. that would be irresponsible (only for me, it's never irresponsible for others, because artem wing has a double standard bug in his noggin that bites him at key moments) and i still technically have the capability to be useful so //does more work

body: am i a joke to you???

additionally, theres a vulnerability to being sick. i think artem would eventually take care of himself when he realizes that it is the only way he can move forward and be Truly Useful Again, but he would be the type to be resistant to other people helping him. it's his problem, why should he rope more people into it? (because those people, CARE, ARTEM WING! THEY CARE!!!! THEY WANT TO HELP!!!)

deep down though, i figure, it's because of like the fear of not being seen with the lens of perfection. artem doesn't want people to see him like this. he doesnt like seeing himself like this, so why would other people want to see it as well? (AGAIN. BECAUSE THEY CAREEEE!!!!!)

artem wing is a hot mess of "i need to earn everything in my life and the only way to do that is be the paragon of every quality i think is the correct payment for that thing." fascinating stuff but good god, somebody wrap that disaster man in a blanket burrito and do NOT let him out until his fever is gone.

also DGJDSKJ!! HE QUARANTINED THE PAPERS BUT BARELY RESTED HIMSELF. UR RIGHT. A MESS OF A MAN!!!

#okay this will count as my hc today bc i may not be able to do more thinking today hhhh #tears of themis #artem wing #hc #asks

62 notes · View notes

momowho34 · 3 years

Text

Time for another naruto au post that so long and complicated it might aswell be a fic in and of itself. Why am I like this :,) Naruto au where Itachi runs away from the village with Sasuke in tow and doesn’t leave him behind. Also Itachi is a little older then a teenager because it makes more sense. Buckle up this is a long one.

Itachi refuses to kill his family and runs to warn them but when he gets there everybody’s dead except for Sasuke, (who witnessed the whole thiNG OOPSY-) so he takes him and runs for their lives.

Itachi joins the akatsuki but uhhhhh now there’s a four year old tagging along and Itachi’s too scary for anybody to mention it.

Imagine the fluff and angst potential with the akatsuki oooooof there’s so much omg

At first they all think it’s super annoying but within like two days they would all gladly die for this kid. Seriously they were pretty sure their hearts were made of stone at this point but apparently not.

Kisame is surprisingly really good with kids, partly because he appears fairly calm on the outside without being too standoffish so Sasuke likes him best. Also Kisame could happily play peek-a-boo for the rest of his life he likes the small things

Kakazu is awful with kids but sasuke likes him anyway and he hates it (not really) Hidan.... really doesn’t know what to do. He’s never cared about another person in his life, okay? He kind of wants to kill the small child but he knows Itachi would steal his fucking knee caps and bury him at the bottom of the ocean so he doesn’t even mention it ever

Sasori is the mom when Itachi isn’t around. They would all feed him candy until he fucking died if Sasori didn’t stop that. Sasori is also the one to go “oh my GOD Deidara you can’t dare him to climb that mountain he could fall and hit his head no I don’t care about that deidaRA HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD ITACHI IS GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN HE GETS HOME MARK MY WORDS—“

Tobi likes to blame all of his mistakes on Sasuke as a joke. Also they all teach Sasuke bits of their fighting styles so he becomes even more formidable and all of them are kind of freaked out by how quickly he masters their techniques

When he’s too young to tag along on missions he has to stay with Konan and Pain. He really values Konan because she’s really the only one of them who treats him like a person instead of a stupid child that needs protection.

“He costs too much,” Kakazu says. “He shouldn’t be here, what about how much it costs for him to stay with us” all while consistently finding room in the budget to get the kid anything and everything even though he’s fairly low maintenance to take care of

When Itachi arrives, everybody tries to disregard the rumors paired with Sasuke being there. Because of Itachi’s overall demeanor and Sasuke’s refusal to talk about it, they assume that he killed his family but didn’t kill his little brother for some reason

...And then Sasuke starts having nightmares. Like loud, screaming and crying in the middle of the night nightmares. Every time it happens, Itachi wakes up, calm and collected, and holds him until he falls asleep again. They all start having doubts about Itachi really killing his family.

Itachi doesn’t really hold a grudge against Konoha, but he didn’t see the whole family die like Sasuke did. Sasuke wants revenge, and he’s dead set on it.

Okay yeah but what abt the actual plot and stuff??? Don’t worry I’m there.

So a while later after that during Naruto’s three year journey (which he still takes with Jiraiya because he needs training to fight Orochimaru who is still a big threat btw) he meets this weird black haired kid staying at the same hotel he is.

Turns out they’ve both got caretakers who are absent (Jiraiya’s at a brothel somewhere and Kisame and Itachi are off killing some guy) which sucks so they bond over that and compare abilities and beat the shit out of eachother a little and develop a mini rival complex all of that but then

“Wow you’re so cool! You fight just like a ninja! You should come back with me!” Naruto laughs one day. Sasuke asks “Back to where?” And Naruto’s like “back to the leaf village of course! I’m a leaf village ninja, I’m out here training with my sensei! I forgot that I left my headband in the room, I can show it to you.” But Sasuke just gets really pale and runs off and Naruto doesn’t see him for the rest of the trip.

He thought he’d never see him again but then Sasuke gets separated from the Akatsuki members reeeaaaallly far away from their base and Konoha. As he’s trying to figure out what to do, a certain ninja crew happens to be in town. Naruto is like “omfg I know this kid!!!!!!!! Hey Sasuke!!!!! Hey Sasukeeeee!!!!!”

Sasuke is like o-o but then he starts to consider his options. If anybody figures out about his sharingan, he’s straight up fucked. His eyes are gone, he probably gets murdered. Naruto is like “what r u doing here????” And sasuke spins a fairly convincing story

He’s like “oh yeah and I know my way around this place so I can help you out could I maybe seek asylum in your village maybe??? I could be helpful” just so he can head in the general direction of Konoha and hopefully get closer to his base along the way.

So Kakashi begrudgingly agrees and Sasuke tries not to burn alive because he’s in the general proximity of leaf soldiers that he fucking hates and he will not grow attached to any of them at all no siree, not at all, no way!

Sasuke begins to grow close to them, of course. Sai and Sasuke do goth shenanigans and he fights with Naruto and tries to get Sakura to leave him alone (what is up with her why is she being so weird?)

Oh bonus angst: Tobi used to talk in his sleep sometimes, and at some point Sasuke drops “those who break the rules are scum, but those who leave their friends behind are worse then scum” casually and Kakashi almost has a full blown panic attack.

This is when he first realizes something is seriously up with this kid; and his first name sounds... familiar. His suspicions are just suspicions until they run into Orochimaru. Now Orochimaru could just out Sasuke as akatsuki, instead he plays with his feelings a little bit. He keeps saying things like “how does it feel to fight on the same side as your enemies for once?” And “have you forgotten already?” They defeat him without Sasuke revealing his sharingan but the jig is up in Kakashi’s mind.

Kakashi doesn’t quite connect the dots; but he’s almost there. Whoever this kid is, they’re coming back to the village for sure. It’s the safest thing to do. Meanwhile the Akatsuki are freaking out. Itachi is unhinged and almost grieving, they have no idea where Sasuke could be. The team is out in full force; including Tobi

And you know, Obito doesn’t care. He shouldn’t care, nothing matters in this false reality. It just doesn’t. Tobi might have given a shit about Sasuke, but Tobi isn’t real. He’s just a front, Tobi doesn’t exist. So why is he looking so hard for this stupid kid that he shouldn’t give a shit about? Obito convinces himself it’s just a front, it’s just part of Tobi’s act, but it’s not. What’s happening to him? Why is starting to feel things now, so deep into the plan?

Annnnnndddd that’s as far as I got with it lmao. That’s still pretty fucking far tho

167 notes · View notes