#lack of care

[furiousgoldfish]

Today I am bothered by the fact that babies and toddlers are programmed to ask for attention and affection naturally, right, and if they don’t get it, they ask for it louder and louder, until they get completely exhausted and they can’t move anymore, which is when it sinks to them that there is no help, no attention, nobody coming, they’re not being cared for, which is when they go silent and numb and stop asking for it.

Natural progression for a human is to get as much attention and care as they need as a baby, then also as a toddler, and then at some stage later they stop needing it as much, they start desiring separation and individuality, and their desires for attention flow towards different people then, they want positive attention from their peers, then from the rest of the world as well, but not in that parental way anymore, now they want to be acknowledged and equal and needed and wanted, not fed and pampered and hugged, although a tiny amount of that isn’t rejected if offered.

If abused, these needs can developed differently. If as a toddler you’ve spent more time in that catatonic and numb state, fearing for survival because you’re a baby and there’s no caretakers, that leaves a mark on you. If you’ve been denied physical attention, hugs and pats and strokes on your head, as a toddler, that again leaves a mark, makes you feel undesirable, unwanted, disgusting, unworthy. And since you’re constantly feeling hurt, the desire for separation can come early too; because your instinct is to survive, and if your caretaker is a danger to you, you still love them of course, but you realize you have to be independent, have to take care of yourself, have to figure your own issues out without asking for help. It’s also followed by a dose of dissociation because the pain of being emotionally abandoned so young, is too much for anyone. Being neglected when you desperately need someone, will cause you to dissociate, possibly even develop a dissociative disorder to survive.

But what happens with all those needs for affection? If nobody fulfilled your basic needs for care as a toddler, do you ever evolve to wanting to be equal to others? Or do you, forever, yearn for parental type of care? Need to be pampered and reassured that you’re wanted and valuable and that someone will take care of you, make sure you eat, make sure you don’t die, make sure you’re safe? Does this ever go away, if nobody ever takes care of you this way? Do you ever feel completely comfortable being equal to someone? Do you not interpret intimacy as a way to get that positive touch, and crave it not in a sexual, but in a ‘i need to be held’ kind of way? Do you not assume they also want to be pampered, and offer it as a wild hope they might do it back, but they just accept it and take it and run off with it? Do you forever just end up a caretaker nobody ever took care of, who has no way to ask for it because it feels so wildly inappropriate?

#unmet needs #abusive parents #child abuse #emotional abandonment #lack of care #lack of positive touch #lack of nurture #child neglect #physical abandoment #making children feel unwanted and gross #causes of dissociation #sadness #i didn't do this to myself but i feel gross about it anway

[rabbiteclair]

i have a brain problem that prevents me from understanding people who need so much specifically newly-released TV shows that they're upset by the prospect of going a few months without new ones being produced

like they could stop making video games and books today and I wouldn't notice until sometime in 2026. honestly if they'd stop making new video games for a while that'd be kinda convenient. everyone take a break and let me catch up. I still haven't even played Persona 5.

#this is somewhat less applicable to movies #i can at least get why you'd care about a lack of new movies #because that's what theaters show #but your tv will show you whatever tv shows you feed to it #there's at least six or seven tv shows you haven't seen i bet

[kingstooth]

heres to the other dandelions out there

#to grow without being nurtured by kindness but in spite of lack of care #maybe you were not treated with love. but still you sprouted in the hostility and grew to meet the sun #dandelions

[thoodleoo]

saw one too many dark academia posts in the classics tag and became evil

#tagamemnon #heres the thing. i dont care if you enjoy the aesthetic or whatever #BUT the complete lack of sourcing and checking if quotes are real and also. the weird anti-intellectual and racist vibes?? #cant do it. i cant #queueusque tandem abutere catilina patientia nostra

[bbyteach]

Rhys’s recent interviews are killing me(x)

Stede totally powered through with the earnest whimsy and I’m sure that’s what Ed loved most 🥺

#blackbonnet #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death #my draws #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #rhys darby #edward teach #ed x stede #I’m also thinking Ed was careful to not let stede think he was just in it for the ‘bumbling amateur status’ but calling it a mistake #literally the next day prolly didn’t help One Bit 🙃 #anyway he just likes being talked to like a princess even if the othe skills are lacking Ahem!!! #full view is better plz 🙏

[radiance1]

Killer Croc's little bro was apparently in Gotham.

How did everyone know? Because he was seen physically dragging said older brother out of the sewers and into the nearest cafe.

And Killer Croc was just. So docile??? He was shy, a bit nervous, amused, and was practically harmless. Which wasn't something anyone would have associated with Killer Croc.

And the fact that said little bro can lift him up easily too? What kind of parents did they have for their son to be able to lift up the Killer Croc so easily?

Meanwhile, Jack just doesn't get why everyone reacts negatively to his big brother, it's not like he was a ghost for goodness sake and yea he's working on not being like he was before his son revealed himself to be part ghost, but still.

His brother was still human, just extra.

Why did Jack come to Gotham? He was kinda maybe forced out the house to go and find his brother because he liked talking about him but never actually went out to find him.

Jack and Croc may be half-brothers, yes, but he's still family.

Jack strongarms Killer Croc into not living in, well, the sewers and at his house he bought when he came to Gotham and they both caught up with each other's lives. Jack told Croc about his family, and by extension the shit views he's had on ghost because it was a major part in their family dynamics, and Croc told him about his own life in Gotham.

Minus the more gruesome, parts.

Killer Croc lives with him for a while and notices that he didn't really seem to care for his life. Which is a major no to Croc, who tries to get him to gain some amount of self-preservation, yes he knows that his little bro is more durable than the average human has any right to be but please for the sake of your big bro's heart, please take care of yourself.

Jack is a bit floored by this, and tries to wave it off as a non-issue. But if Jack can strongarm Croc into living with him, then Croc can definitely strongarm Jack into things as well.

Busting through walls is fine, alright. He gets it, it's very fun. But please don't stick random things into your mouth that can kill you, nor follow strangers down an alleyway and shrug off a stabbing (Killer Croc had some choice words and actions for the person who did such a thing.), and please, please practice stranger danger, little bro. Please.

No, he doesn't give two, three, four, five or ten fucking shits if you have microsurgeons in your blood that gives you a superhuman healing factor, you can still feel pain little bro, and stop skipping meals and sleep to work on your inventions! No, you cannot substitute either for energy drinks!

The batfam keep an eye on the two brothers and find it to just be the both of them strongarming the other into healthy behaviors basically. (With a lot of verbal and physical "I love you"'s, the Batfam could NEVER. slash joke teehee.)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #Jack Fenton and Killer Croc half-brother's au #Just wait until Croc finds out about his wife and son cause oh boy are they just as bad as he is when it comes to self-preservation. #Jack strongarms him into living a normal life where he doesn't hide away and deserves to be treated as a person #While Croc strongarms Jack into having more self-preservation that he seemingly lacked. #Wouldn't ya know a lack of self-preservation is a common trait in the Fentonnightingle history since the days or yore #Their dad had it and Jack got it unfortunately #Jack would also like to punt his mother for abandoning his brother. #You know your self-preservation is bad when Killer Croc has to strongarm you into taking care of yourself

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

#you know. the one with the pendulum #'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this' #'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!' #'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you' #like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine #it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences. #but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification #and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs #when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck. #you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck. #and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters! #and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that #anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately #it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel #which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about. #but we'll have to do our best with what we have #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #talking #aspec #asexual #asexuality

[hamletthedane]

Shakespeare: I will create two teenage characters who are explicitly proto-postmodern examinations of the nature of character and fate within fictional narrative. I am their creator and - like their parents within the narrative - I exercise complete control over their fates, no matter how much they struggle against it. They are born like Athena from my mind and doomed to die by my pen, by my complicity in the narrative negligence of them, by my own actions and wishes-

Actor: cool, what's their names?

Shakespeare, father of twins named Judith and Hamnet: uhh…. Juliet and Hamlet.

#obsessed with the Juliet/Hamlet parallels #And how they’re victims of narrative #romeo and juliet #hamlet #shakespeare #willy shakes #these plays are not Shakespeare’s therapy sessions nosiree #dealing with the grief of a child’s death by writing stories where teenagers die because of their parents’ lack of care…. heartbreaking ngl. #the guilt and anguish and horror is just leaking out of the page

[johnny-horror]

Just a rant -

I am here just posting. Looking at all I follow. Thinking what is left of any human emotion. I see wonderous sights, great ideas, yet it lacks the human compassion.

This isn't anymore the emotion of sharing and feeling connection. Just a coin flip of a like or share in a well of echoes that remind me of my loneliness.

I wonder who are real or who are automated bots. Who have died or moved on. On top of all of this - All I said until now is a echo of Life somewhere far away that nobody will touch or hear, nor see...and I myself am a tombstone of other reminders that once humanity was here.

#my edits #thoughts #ideas #melancholy #technologies #loneliness #social issues #emotional #lack of care

[furiousgoldfish]

Do you ever have that feeling of missing someone paying attention to you, even if they're doing it with malicious purposes? Like when you were in the presence of abusers, sometimes they were observing your every move and paying attention to how you react to them and what your emotional state is and they had you locked in their attention sometimes so they would know your every vulnerability and what they can use against you, right. Or to find excuses to yell at you and berate you for completely normal shit. At other times they did no such thing and they acted like you didn't exist until they specifically wanted something from you. And that felt bad, but if they still needed you for something, you could at least hope to have their attention again, at some vague point in the future.

But being alone and left to your own devices after experiencing that intense attention, that can be disorienting and cause you to feel extremely unattended to, unsupervised, irrelevant, unimportant, lost and alone in the world. Like I could tell someone what is on my mind and what's bothering me, and it would be my choice to distribute that information to the world and I would have to make that choice every single time, and feel bad for drawing attention to myself, but if I didn't, nobody would notice. I could deteriorate for ages and nobody would even stop to give me shit about it, it simply wouldn't be relevant to anyone other than myself. And at that point even the most malicious attention would feel like something, would feel better than absolute indifference and neglect.

And that’s not to say that abuse is in any way better than being alone, or not having any attention, it's just that it can feel like it is. In moments like that you can crave abuse and feel like you're not equipped to deal with the world alone, like the irrelevancy and starvation for attention and contact is the worst thing out of all.

Because to us humans, neglect and being left behind feels like the end of the world sometimes. And if we're put in that position, we don't feel like we can be picky about what kind of attention we get; we'll take anything. Except if we're pushed so far inside our own terror that we'd rather have the isolation and neglect. But even then, the cravings don't stop. It's just that we choose not to act on them, because it's a survival threat at that point.

#neglect #starving for attention #lack of human connection #lack of bonds #aftermath of abuse #abusive parents #child abuse #nostalgia for attention that hurt you #feeling alone #feeling left behind #feeling irrelevant #lack of care #lack of support

[narliee]

how was your exam? it was good!

#heartstopperedit #heartstopper #narlieedit #nick x charlie #usergay #dailylgbtq #useranne #usermiraa #userrjoana #userkimmy #usersnat #tuserlucie #tusercarolina #userjake #usermagda #osemanverse #gifs* #the complete lack of caring about the year 11 boys seeing them makes me so 🥹 #like they need to hug each other in that moment there is truly nobody else in the world but eachother

[essektheylyss]

Because I'm going to be thinking about this forever, I do want to talk about how Caleb speaks, because I think there's something to be said for how his protectiveness (in general) actually presents itself.

Caleb uses epithets and allusions a lot. He refers to Nott as "my goblin friend," to Jester as "my blue friend," to Yasha as "my barbarian friend." Yussa is at one point "our wizard friend," and Essek is "my Kryn friend," in the two-shot.

He is also, notably, paranoid about being surveiled. He wears the amulet of nondetection for most of the campaign, and it's not unwarranted, given that Trent locates him and nearly burns down the Blooming Grove the moment he's able to get a lock on them. Trent in fact has been shown to use any and all information he can get ahold of about or from Caleb against him, to a truly extreme level. His seemingly single-minded goal is expressed to be to ensure that not a single aspect of Caleb's life and loved ones is safe at any moment, to perpetuate the threat of harm from any direction in order to essentially control and monopolize Caleb's every thought.

In Echoes of the Solstice, Caleb does suggest that he is not concerned with Trent being able to surveil him any longer, but Trent is not the only threat, and, timey-wimey plot nonsense aside, the Hells' inability to scry on him since then suggests that he is likely wearing an amulet at least by that point in the timeline.

The extent of Trent's focus on him and his ensuing paranoia is extreme, and even beyond when he may no longer feel that Trent is a threat to him, he seems unwilling to allow him to pose a threat to others, and people he cares about in particular.

Within that context, it's not difficult to read his use of epithets, particularly in referring to people who are not currently present (rather than using their name aloud), as a form of protection. Some of his manner of speaking implicitly or explicitly presumes that he is being surveiled, even outside of the context of protectiveness; after Vess Derogna's death, he frequently refers to Lucian only by epithets, most often, "our old friend," and at one point establishes "Lady D," (to Jester's glee) as a code name for Vess Derogna for the specific purposes of countersurveilance.

This method of protection, I would imagine, goes double for Essek; not only does Caleb have the habit of worrying over those who would use his loved ones against him, which is of course borne out in Echoes of the Solstice, but he also must consider that Essek has his own enemies, and a stray mention of his name in the wrong company or setting could get his partner killed. It seems even in that gifset, when Caleb says, "I am worried for Essek," after the encounter with Trent at Vergessen, that he first considers obfuscating, stumbling over allusory phrasing before acknowledging that Trent already has the information he needs, and at that point Trent is their only real concern about who might care, given Lucien is far too focused on reaching the Astral Sea to worry about hostages.

When Caleb answers Jester's, "And he's going to hurt Essek," with a silence and an oblique reply, it feels most to me like a further measure of protection, knowing that knowledge is power that can be used against him and his loved ones, and silence is the weapon he has against it.

#critical role #caleb widogast #shadowgast #essek thelyss #cr meta #trent ikithon #echoes of the solstice #anyway I've been thinking about this nonstop nobody talk to me nobody look at me #I am not gonna keep harping on about how interpreting a lack of direct mention of someone = a lack of caring or interest but #I will float alternative readings into the ecosystem. diversify the ecology lmao

[kurozu501]

do you ever just remember how one of the most effective things parvis said to get silence to lose faith in saria was essentially "do you really think she would ever choose YOU over everything?" and silence with her low self esteem really didn't believe saria would.

Then in the end saria really did choose them over everything, left her defense director job and her whole life up to that point behind for the sake of silence and ifrit. and silence still doesnt even know. do you ever think about that and lose your mind a little bit.

#turns out my pre lone trail jitters translate to reread the rhine lab manhua and lose my mind over it all over again #its one of those stories i could write multiple essays on #like silence's lack of self love #do you ever notice how in the final scene when she makes her big declaration about curing ifrit joyce and 'the many many infected' #she never mentions curing herself #how she runs into the flames looking for ifrit with no regard for her own safety during the diabolic crisis #even the funny gag moment with joyce is based on silence overworking herself and joyce pushing her to take care of herself #and here where parvis basically says saria would never choose you and silence instantly just accepts that as true #of course saria wouldn't choose her #even her big grudge against saria is anger on behalf of ifrit not for herself #this owl has such a big heart and so much love for everyone but herself #arknights #olivia silence #saria

[manikas-whims]

See I have no issues with people shipping whatever the fuck they want but this has gone too far.

AND THIS IS ONE OF THE WRITERS OF “SHADOW AND BONE”

“sometimes you need some skin on skin”

NO.

Not only is this caption extremely disrespectful and erasing Inej's trauma but by extension also being ableist and making fun of Kaz's touch aversion. Not to mention, ignoring Inej's struggles with touch.

And ofcourse, entirely erasing the fact that Tolya is canonically aroace.

At this point, I feel like only Amita Suman cares or even addresses Inej's trauma.

The fact that nothing about Inej's trauma was ever addressed in this entire season, they made Tante Heleen's death seem like it meant nothing to Inej. And now, even making such disgusting jokes..🙂

#smh everyday someone on this show's production disappoints me 🙂 #not to mention the fandom's lack of calling out such behavior is very disheartening #goes to show how less people care about Inej's struggles and just love seeing her fulfill the role of their token “girlboss” #six of crows #shadow and bone #inej ghafa #kanej #kaz brekker #tolya yul bataar #grishaverse

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Gearing up for the stat boosts

MDZS Disco Elysium AU Part 3 (Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #MDZS disco elysium AU #It's not really disco elysium unless your protagonist is dressed up like they're going for the stat boosts #And coming out like a moderately deranged cyberpunk fashion disaster #The AV cable hair ties in particular were the answer to 'How can I explain wwx finding something to tie his hair up in a trashed hotel room #as well as 'How can get him to look even more like a disaster cyberpunk OC?' #WWX woke up after years of being in the eternal pale only to find himself in a different body -hungover and bleeding. #The lack of shirt is due to emergency first aid. The rest of the outfit is him finding whatever he can. #and what better way to pair a lack of shirt than with fishnets? #Lan Wangji doens't have the historical cosplay thing kim has going on but he does wear cute bunny socks. As a treat. #and YES it would be electrochem getting the boost. #It's the skills for *more* than just drugs and sex! Its also the one that goes 'YIPEE! I love solving cases! ^_^ I love a good sandwich!' #Electrochem is the skill for 'you deserve a little treat' and it doesn't care what that little treat is as long as it sparks joy!!! #Please keep that red memento in mind. I will be returning to that plot point.

[homophyte]

people keep bringing up eugenics in my evolutionary bio class

#have to give my professor some props because he did go #’well the thing you just said is eugenics. and the world you’re describing sucks’ #literally ‘are we less evolved than people in ‘third world countries’ because we don’t deny people care’ #valorizing the horrific consequences of colonialism and then not applying any critical thinking to #who would disproportionately be denied care on the basis of so called ‘inferior genes’ #genuinely always surprising to me the way people turn their own lack of allergies into a moral good LMAO #if you care so much go breed about it somewhere else #myposts