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sserasin · 1 month

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omgg g!p yunjin x stripper!reader..(im sorry i don’t have more :( my mind is so blank with thoughts rn..😭☹️)

special treatment

cw nsfw under cut, g!p yunjin, female reader, unprotected sex, light praise, not extreme dom/sub dynamics sorry , n respect sex work !

yunjin was definitely dreaming.

she drank too much on her birthday, and she passed out and was now dreaming of the best fucking night of her life.

because there was no way you were on top of her, grinding against her clothed boner along to the song playing.

“um, what song is this?” yunjin breathes out, hips rutting up to meet yours. you don’t tell her to stop.

you giggle, hand moving from the back of the couch and reaching behind your back, tugging on a string of your tiny top. her cock twitches under you as your breasts fall out of your top, slipping it off fully. “do you wanna touch me?”

she doesn’t realize you said anything until a few seconds later, “i- wha—? isn’t that against the rules?” but she can’t deny that she wants to, and so she does.

“yeah,” you moan out as she pinches your nipple experimentally. “but i like you, so you get special treatment.”

yunjin likes the feeling your words give her, feeling much more confident than she had been before. she swallows, glancing from your eyes to your breasts. she reaches down and takes your nipple into her warm mouth without warning, back arching into her as your hips go faster.

her free hand alternates between groping your tit and pinching and lightly twisting your nipple, which did more for you than you thought it would. you let out a whimper, hand tugging on her hair to break her away from your chest and pulling her into a series of messy kisses, moaning in each other’s mouths.

“do you do this with all your clients?” she whispers in between kisses, pulling back to look at you with heavy eyelids. a string of saliva connects the two of you and you follow it to give her another kiss.

“just the pretty ones,” you smile slightly, raising off of her despite her hands falling to your waist to pull you back down. “wait,” you say, tugging your bottoms down your legs and kicking them to the side.

heat pools at the bottom of your stomach as you watch yunjin watch you undress, allowing her to pull you back down on her. your tits are right in her face, which she takes the opportunity to start littering kisses and sucking on your tits.

lowering yourself back down on her, the roughness of her jeans on your bare pussy makes you throw your head back. you don’t want friction burn so you’re glad to unzip her jeans and pull her cock out.

the size of her cock was much larger than it appeared under her jeans. you feel faint just by looking at it. it’s long, and thick to where you know you’d feel every ridge of a vein dragging against your walls.

you don’t waste another second, pushing her down on the couch and dragging the head of her cock through your folds, coating it in your arousal.

yunjin groans, “fucking tease,” before she’s slamming you down and bucking her hips simultaneously.

a choked half gasp, half moan left your lips, “oh fuck-” you began bouncing up and down, the mushroomy head slamming into your gummy walls. “ah, ah, ah-”

“shit, shit, shit!” yunjin shakes her head, feeling you squeeze around her. “i, fuck- you’re doing so good, baby. such a good girl for me, huh?” you don’t know what the fuck switched up in her, but the praise made you keen, pressing your chest against her clothed one. the rough fabric of her shirt rubs against your nipples, making you whimper.

“look at you,” she’s murmuring absentmindedly, fingers coming to rub circles in your clit. “so eager to please.”

“please, please,” you let out a pathetic noise, leaning back to rest your hands on her knees. the new angle forces a loud moan out of both of your lips, hitting exactly at your sweet spot. in your haste to your orgasm, her cock slips out of you a couple times which she quickly slides it back in.

“please, what, baby?” she’s gripping your hips tightly to where you just know there will be bruises. the thought of her leaving her mark on you makes you throw your head back, your ass and her thighs slapping together.

“can i come? please please please plea-”

“come,” yunjin forces out before she shoots a long stream of warm cum in you, painting your walls. the coil in your stomach snaps and you’re coming undone around her cock with a loud moan.

you gasp for breath, chest heaving as you fall back on your elbows and slipping out of her. you both hiss as the loss, but you remain laying on your back. your eyes close, deciding to catch your breath and get your strength back before you get back up.

it takes yunjin a minute to come back to earth. she warily blinks, sitting up and spotting you on the other side of the couch, resting your head on the arm. she lightly taps your arm, “… are you okay?”

“fantastic,” you hum absentmindedly, “just tired.” you lift your head up, despite your words and say, “are you okay?”

yunjin laughs lightly, feeling her cheeks burn, “yes— yeah. you were … really good.”

“thanks,” you smile, spotting your top and bottoms at two opposite sides of the room and stand up to get them.

yunjin looks away out of respect.

as you slip them on, yunjin pulls her jeans back up and reaches over to her purse on the ground, getting the correct amount of money.

as she goes to hand it to you, she doesn’t expect you to pull her in a kiss by her shirt. she gasps softly but quickly falls into the kiss, only for you to pull back a second after. she leans forward to kiss you again, but you giggle and push her back lightly.

“what was that?” she blinks.

“a kiss,” you smile cutely, an expression she hasn’t seen on you before. she thinks you’re even prettier when you smile genuinely and not just for show. “to tell you to come back.”

yunjin doesn’t get a chance to respond as the door opens, revealing the bouncer. he doesn’t pay attention to your disheveled appearances, simply saying, “session’s over,” and leaving the door open when he leaves.

before you can completely follow him out, her voice stops you, “i was going to come back, anyway.”

you choose not to respond, glancing over your shoulder and winking before you turn out the door.

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ultrone · 11 months

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rewatching s1 rn and im just imagining lottie as a gf >_< watching her go from so sweetie pie to cult leader would be such a ride but it’d be kinda hot. like as she got more into it, she would be taking you to the alter and eating you out because it’s what the wilderness needs

🫀 ♰ ┈ 𝗹𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼.

Your thighs were trembling, but the brown-haired girl between them held them firmly in place.

It was midnight when Lottie woke you up with urgency. She claimed to have received a vision from the wilderness, and she insisted that you needed to fulfill it that very night, under the light of the full moon.

You never expected the wilderness to ask for something like this—but… did it really?

You didn't mind, though, because the way Lottie's warm tongue flickered against your beating clit was enough to make all your thoughts disappear in almost an instant.

You were lying in the middle of an altar, resting on a soft blanket. A pretty crown made of flowers adorned your head, and a small symbol drawn with Lottie's blood rested on your forehead. Your hands were searching for something to hold onto, but all they could find was the dirt and rose petals scattered around you.

Your legs were outstretched and being held by Lottie's hands, as she slowly and insatiably licked your wet pussy from the bottom to the top, finishing the motion with an excruciatingly slow circle around your clit, then sucking on it repeatedly.

She looked lost in a daze, almost hypnotized. Her hair was messy, and her mouth was dripping wet, sucking on your centre as if her life depended on it. She was so eager—and hungry—that it felt like she was devouring you, giving out low groans as she tasted your sweet flavour.

"S-so fuckin’ good,” you babbled, unable to speak clearly as you felt her groans vibrate against your swollen clit.

"You have to give in, Y/n," she mumbled against your centre, "It's so hungry... It won't stop until you give in," she added, tightening her grip on your now bruised thighs.

Your hands instinctively flew to her head as you felt her tongue begin to penetrate your needy hole, gliding in and out of your walls as her nose rubbed against your abused nub. "I-I’m close,” you moaned out as you pulled her impossibly closer, feeling yourself near the edge.

She tightened her grip on your thighs and started sucking more forcefully. "—fuck Lottie,” you whimpered, squeezing your eyes tightly. Her tongue slid faster and faster around your clitoris, flicking it back and forth and softly biting at it with her teeth, making your back arc in pleasure and your vision turn hazy.

You released a few more loud moans before you came all over her mouth, drenching it and her chin with your cum.

As you caught your breath, your chest heaved rapidly, trying to recover, while your fingers in her hair gradually loosened their grip. She gently licked you a few more times as you came down from your high, allowing your muscles to relax completely. Once she finished cleaning you with her tongue, she slowly crawled up your body and positioned herself close to your face. Leaning in, she whispered in your ear, "You did really well."

Then, she shifted slightly and tenderly kissed your forehead, gently tucking a strand of her hair behind your ear. Resting her hand against your cheek, she gazed deeply into your eyes, her pupils dilated with desire. "The wilderness is now pleased with you," she began softly, "You'll see," she added with a gentle smile.

i know this was just a thought but it was so hot i had to write a blurb 😭 i’ve also been busy writing long fics and i wanna feed y’all more,, mwah <33

#minors dni #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews x y/n #lottie matthews blurb #yellowjackets blurb #yellowjackets x reader

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mamasbakeria · 7 months

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hey, what's your major again?

summary: my credible expert opinion on what the aot characters would study in university. what are my qualifications? the dozens of hours i’ve spent staring at my school’s program bulletin trying to figure out what i’m majoring in

genre | includes: headcanons, sfw, minor language, uninformed percy jackson reference (pls don't hate me if im wrong)

characters: eren jaeger, mikasa ackerman, armin arlert, sasha braus, jean kirschtein, connie springer, historia reiss, ymir, reiner braun, annie leonhardt

author’s note: had this in my drafts for months now. i just need to post it so it stops haunting me. might do the rest of the marleyans and vets in the future! lmk your thoughts, my only tumblr notifications are from p*rn bots, so i'd love to hear from real people lol. enjoy <3

eren: sociology and public policy, 4+1 program for a social work masters

there’s only so many times you can hear “you’re gonna be a doctor just like your dad” before you start to believe it. that’s why eren started out with biology on the premed track. the thing is, he really didn’t care for it. eren is really passionate about lessening equity gaps and is a firm believer in “if you want something done right, do it yourself”. this is why i see him making the switch to a double major in public policy and sociology. he wants to know about how society got to the point of perpetuating disparities so that he can fix them. but he also knows that the government fucking sucks and thinks its naive to expect policy change to be the only method of change. and like the maniac he is, eren is enrolled in a 4+1 program so he can get his master’s in social work when he’s done with his undergrad. he’s determined to graduate with both degrees in just 4 years though. rip his summers.

armin: international relations and military ethics, minor in communications or smth

everyone always says armin would study marine biology or oceanographic studies, but i honestly think that it’s a passion that he pursues on the side. he takes marine bio courses for his breadth requirements, but knows he’d end up hating the ocean if he spent the rest of his life studying it. he also strikes me as someone who would rather run buck naked into traffic than sit through multiple semesters of organic chemistry. armin was always a good public speaker, though, despite being a bit insecure. that’s why his speech and debate teacher during sophomore year of high school recommended model united nations to him. he was hooked after his first conference and now genuinely sees the path of international diplomacy as his calling. that’s why he’s majoring in international relations. his concentration in military ethics is something he tacks on in his junior year after taking some courses and publishing research with dr. erwin smith. he probably minors in communications because he can.

mikasa: forensic science

mikasa had no idea what she wanted to do when she started uni. she’s good at nearly everything. like never gotten a B in her life and is the student who the curve is based off of. but excelling in every environment you’re put in often means you don’t know what you’re best at. she knew deep down that she wanted to do something justice related like her childhood best friends did, but she’s no public speaker and has no interest in political reform. she was, however, emo in high school and heard a fair share of undertaker jokes at her expense. it wouldn’t hurt to look into right? as cool as the title sounds, morticians don’t make enough money for the job they have. fortunately enough, forensic pathologists do and mikasa looks good in a lab coat. she would never admit it to spare armin and eren’s feelings, but when they, as children, recreated the crime-solving shows mrs. jaeger always had on, mikasa always wanted to be the brains. so criminology and forensic science it is. (side note: she definitely joins the military and they pay for her education)

jean: structural engineering and industrial design with a minor in studio art

more than anything, jean wants to provide for his mom and knows he can’t guarantee a retirement of luxury for her as the freelance artist he wishes he could be. he’s decent at math when he tries and doesn’t hate physics, so he decided he’d give structural engineering a try for at least a semester or two. he wasn’t expecting to get much from it, to be honest. he had a plethora of backup plans waiting for his supposedly inevitable distaste for engineering, but he found that he didn’t hate it at all. someone once told jean that he had the makings of a great leader and he didn’t believe them until he started taking the lead on design projects and producing incredible results. his only qualm is that he just doesn’t get to be as creative as he wanted to be. that was easily rectified by an additional major in industrial design and a minor in studio art. he’s unbelievably busy, busier than he anticipated when he started his post-secondary journey, but he’s content and there’s nothing some extra coffee can’t solve.

sasha: environmental science and sustainability

sasha spent her childhood ankle-deep in mud and fighting her way through forest thickets without a compass. an upbringing like that doesn’t leave your spirit, no matter how far into the city you go for school. so sasha’s always been passively passionate about the environment. that passiveness became significantly more prominent when part of the woods she grew up in was cleared out to build an industrial complex. it was then that she started researching and writing petitions about preserving wildlife and making environmentally conscious decisions. her work actually got her the scholarship she’s on (because god knows it wasn’t her grades). and she genuinely loves what she does, so why wouldn’t she keep learning about it? the environmental science and sustainability program at the school is small, but tight-knit and known for churning out changemakers. sasha knows she’ll be one of them one day. just hide your plastic straws from her, okay?

connie: computer science and chinese

stick with me here okay? everyone expects connie to be a douchebag marketing major whose hardest assignments are graphing functions and making posters on photoshop, but he’s a lot more invested in his education than he looks. don’t get me wrong, connie has always struggled academically, but that’s because so much of early education is pre-determined. he performed way better when he could choose what courses he took. it’s kind of like percy jackson being dyslexic in english because he was wired to read in greek. connie can’t keep his eyes on a history textbook for shit, but will gladly sit in front of the c++ code on his pc for hours. he doesn’t even get mad when he realizes that he was missing a semicolon. connie loves how versatile of a future he could have with a compsci degree, because, let’s be real, he could never survive in a typical office environment. definitely takes a bunch of chinese classes and doesn’t realize that he has enough credits for it to be a minor until his second to last semester.

historia: political science with a minor in international relations and child development

historia is a lot like eren in the sense that she knows her time is best spent doing hands-on work in the fields she cares about. she realizes this sometime after reconnecting with her estranged father and volunteering at the orphanage she grew up in. but now that she’s publicly associated with a powerful political figure, historia doesn’t get to do what she wants, only what is expected of her. that’s how she ends up on the pre-law political science and public policy route. the nickname “ms. president” that connie and sasha give her only further reminds her that she’s heading down a path she never wanted for herself. after lots of encouragement from ymir, historia decided to take child development courses on the side. even if she doesn’t take on the full minor, she’s taking some classes she cares about. maybe she’ll find use for it someday. at the very least, it’s her first step in becoming the most selfish girl in the world.

ymir: data science and business management

ymir is smart. much smarter than she presents herself to be, almost as a form of protection. nobody expects much of someone who is aloof, so it makes it easy to slip through the cracks to remain safe and comfortable in the shadows. business management is notoriously low commitment and easy to skate by with. guaranteed internships, post-graduate employment, and so on. To anyone who doesn’t know ymir well, it’s perfect. but they have her mistaken, ymir will do as little as possible to go as far as possible. sure, she can live comfortably with a business degree, but it could be better with a little bit of data science in her arsenal. she’s intelligent enough to pick up on it, and determined enough to make it her bitch. yeah, academia is a money-sucking pipeline into the capitalist hellscape, she doesn’t believe in it yada yada, but at the end of the day, ymir’s gonna get the bag. so what if she’s gotta sleep through some stats classes to get it?

reiner: behavioral economics

reiner’s mother had convinced him his whole life that getting a high paying job would fix their lives and bring his father back. believing “perfect grades lead to a perfect life” made high school tough for reiner; gifted kid burnout is no joke. it really messed him up. he wasn’t sure if he could withstand the pressures of university, but here he is. reiner was never allowed a therapist, so he figured pursuing psychology would, at the very least, give him some answers and be a good pathway to a medical degree. he loved getting to understand how people work and why they act the way they do, but something was missing. he found out what it was when a guest lecturer spoke in his economics class. he knew making the switch would be risky, it’s a new field and his current career options are really only research, academia, or government, but the interdisciplinary study of behavioral economics is calling reiner’s name.

annie: biomedical engineering and kinesiology

annie’s entire life revolved around her father, including the injury he was never able to heal from. the one she gave him. he’s claimed to be over it, she’s forgiven, but annie will never feel like she’s earned that forgiveness until she gets rid of the problem entirely. how is she going to do that exactly? with biomedical engineering. she has years of hell in front of her, especially with her concentration on biomechanics, but she doesn’t care. annie will throw herself into her work to get the results she wants. she takes the highest amount of credits possible every semester so she can graduate early. you’ll most likely find her chained to a study cubicle at the library at all hours of the day and running on 2 hours of sleep, but it doesn’t faze her. she tacks on a minor in kinesiology because it makes sense and she had most of the credits for it anyway. and as if it couldn’t get worse, she probably TAs for a thermodynamics course or something crazy like that.

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correctthroam · 4 months

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I read THROAM for the first time in ~5 years. Here's what I have to say.

Volume I: There was so many characters I forgot about when going into the fic. Pete, Jac, Spencers family. I cant believe I forgot them. Pete will always be a fave because everyone hates him and it makes me laugh. The first volume was always my 2nd favorite, I think it still is. overall, the storyline isn't complicated and I like that. Ryan is such an asshole so I dont feel bad for him one bit in any of the fic. Also, I used to say that the bus crash was Brendons fault (I was 13, okay?) But Ryan was just an unstable motherfucker who truly should not be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind.

Volume II: holy shit. I hate volume two. Not saying the writing is bad but Jesus Christ, Ryan is an asshole. bro literally stalked Brendon after he ran into him at that party like what? I had messaged a friend after finishing volume 2, saying "I'm a really nice person I never wanna make people feel sad, let alone make a whole fictional story about someone being severely depressed and unstable whilst chasing a boy then fucking his bf at the end???" and I think that perfectly sums up how I feel (and always felt) about volume two. other than the fact that I used to say that it was Brendons fault. (I was 13. THIRTEEN) it wasn't his fault. Some parts were, yeah, but it's hard to pinpoint everything that happened on one person. at the end of the day, its a good story I just Hate it (does that make sense) I love it but I hate it? it remains my least favorite purely for the pain it put me through.

Volume III: I love this volume. I always have. Sisky is amazing, we all love Sisky. I will say the iconic song/album references/jokes made me cringe a bit, though. Im not exactly sure what about this fic I always liked so much, I guess you can really see Ryans character growth and finally not be as much as a miserable fuck (he's still unstable dw) Since Ryan is less insufferable, it makes the volume more enjoyable. I like that Spencer and Ryan became friends again, I think it makes the book more enjoyable and tbh I think Spencer rly tied vol 3 together, if he wasn't part of it it would lowk suck. overall, best volume cant wait to host the throam tour where we go to hotel Chelsea then machias.

final thoughts: if I thought throam was 100% good when I was 13, Id say now that I think throam is about 85% good now. (does that make sense pt 2) this fic has sent me back into being 13 and I have been blasting some pretty. odd. (im listening to it rn as im typing this) and listening to this album just makes my life feel more simple. still a solid fic, I think it would be an amazing published book. and I think we can all agree that it would be amazing to see THROAM movies (in our dreams)

Thanks for reading lol

#brendon urie #ryden #the heart rate of a mouse #throam #ryan ross #panic! at the disco #p!atd #patd #pretty. odd.#spencer smith #jon walker

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catgirlbussy · 8 months

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holy shit i just realised im autistic

i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c

If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪

(source: wikipedia)

like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.

I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.

Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.

Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.

I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.

Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.

Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.

I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).

I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.

Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.

I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.

Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout

"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"

while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.

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jinchuls-moved · 5 months

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hi, important lil note

pseud change, jinx -> echo

you don’t have to read but there’s a not so thought out ramble of all the thoughts in my head rn under the cut. i feel like ive been tricking people and i want to explain myself

okay so, i moved blogs when i was in a very negative space. i only stayed away for about a month, i missed tumblr and i missed writing even if it took me a hot minute to feel good enough to even be semi active on here.

tumblr can fucking suck. i left because there was drama with a few people that left me a mess honestly, those people have since been blocked and i started to feel a little bit better. i also noticed a number of people breaking mutual with me, which i completely understand curate your space as you need i’ve done it a few times myself, but the amount of people that did in a short time (as far as i noticed) gave me a terrible feeling and i needed to leave. i felt unwelcome and like i had done something wrong to people i had only interacted with a few times. this was on top of a lot of stuff i had going on irl, i felt so fucking alone in every aspect on my life regardless of my friends that made it so obvious they were there for me. i hated how i was at the time, and i appreciate every single person that stuck by me.

so i made this blog for a fresh start. i thought a new pseud and a new blog would make me feel better. and it did, for a while. my friends knew and they listened to my request to change tags, not refer to me as any previous nicknames and essentially not make it too obvious it was me. although i don’t think it was entirely impossible to tell. but now i miss all those things, i miss being stupid with my friends, i miss getting to call my best friend my wife on dash, i miss getting to miss astrology aims and mother nesi nesi, i miss the mutuals i used to have that i didn’t tell about the move because i was scared they were going to think i was stupid. i miss the url i kept going back to bc i loved it (possibly the most silly reason but still ukaishin holds a special place in my heart)

and it just doesn’t feel right. everyone has been so nice to me so far and it feels wrong knowing that wasn’t how echo ended, it makes me wonder what was wrong with me then that wasn’t now? but reality is, it’s nothing. shit happens, i needed time to get over a lot of things and it took time. even quite recently i had a terrible evening because of an old mutual. as in i had a mental breakdown because they added one stupid word to an ask that made me feel pathetic for sitting there the night before crying about how much i was missing them to aims.

getting called jinx in dms throws me off, i appreciate those that knew me first as echo using the new pseud, but it never took. it was never a name i was happy with (except for the first couple weeks on this blog) and im sorry for any confusion and having to switch pseuds again. i just don’t want to move blogs, i don’t want to have a whole thing i just want tumblr to be the happy place it was for me for almost 2 years. it got me through uni, being on here with the friends i’d made, i spend my final year of school in a constant mental breakdown, crying on the phone to my mum almost everyday and it was kaze that kept me going, motivating me to get my degree. it was kaze that flew to england to meet me and attend my graduation. it was aims that was the first person to reach out to me and give me the type of friendship i needed. it was everyone in our silly delululand server that made me laugh and reminded me that no matter how shit people were there were good ones. and it’s the good that’s made me feel better. and the good that makes me want to try one more time to maintain that happy place i had 2 years ago

that got too sappy but i refuse to edit <3

#you don’t have to reblog or anything #this is more for me n my mutuals #sorry #can retire the definitelynotecho blog i made entirely to piss off kaze on her bday

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ipegchangbin · 5 months

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HOLY SHIT Z WHAT THE HELL⁉️⁉️😟😟🤯🤯

NEVER HAVE I EVER READ A FIC THAT MADE MY PUSSY THROB THAT MUCH‼️‼️🤭🙁🥵🥵😳😳😱😱😱

I READ THAT THING LIKE FIVE 5️⃣🖐️🤯 TIMES AND TMI BUT I GOT OFF ON IT TOO BC DAMN WAS THAT GOOD😝😝😋😩😫‼️💕🙏💕

I WOOOOUULLDD DO LIKR A WHOLE ANALYSIS (hehe analysis 😼😼🤭😛) BUT UMMMM UR GIRL IS HIGHKEY ASS AT WORDS‼️‼️😥😰😱😭😫 LIKE POOKIE‼️😫 I LITERALLY FAILED ALL OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL😀😀😀😀⁉️⁉️⁉️BUT AAAANNNYWAYS WHAY YHE HELL Z 😱😱🤯🤯

THE WRITING IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING🤩😍😝😋😋😋

WHY⁉️⁉️😡😡

WHO GAVE U THE MF RIGHT TO WRITE THIS GOOD😡⁉️⁉️⁉️😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😾

BUT FR POOKIE WHAT DO U PUT IN YOUR FICS BC🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵‼️‼️‼️

THERES BARELY ANY BOYPUSSY FICS OUT THERE WHICH IS DEVASTATING 🤬🤬🤬😓😢😩😫😡🤬

UR MY SAVIOR Z‼️‼️🥹🥹🙌💕

ALSO YOUR ART OF BOYPUSSY HANNIE IS SO FUCKINF DELICIOUS LIKE I OPENED THAT LINK AND ZOOMED RIGHT ON THAT PUSSY AND I FUCKING DROOLED‼️‼️🥴🤧🤤🤤🤤💦💦 GUESS WHO TOUCHED HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW IT❓❓❓THATS RIGJT‼️‼️ ME😻☝️💕💕💦 I NEED MY MF MOUUUTYHH ON THAT JUICY MF PUSSSAAYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏😫😝👅💦

READER IS MUCH BETTER THAN ME🙌🙌🤧🤧 CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULD’VE PUT THAT VIBRATOR IN HIM AND ATE THAT MF PUSSY OOOUUTTT AND SUCKED THE LIFE OUTTA THAT CLIT😝😝😛😋😋🙏🙏🙏 RIGHT AFTER HE SQUIRTED LIKE IM FR GONNA MAKE HIM SQUIRT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN MY MOUTH 😋😛😛😜💦💦🤪😍😍😍LIKE THIS TONGUE IS GONNA FUCKING ABUSE THAT ALREADY ABUSED CLIT EVEN MORE 👅👅💦💦‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️DID I MENTION I LOVE CLITS❓❓❓ IF NOT THEN I WILL NOW‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE CLITS‼️🙌😋 CLITS ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING‼️‼️😍😍😜😫🙌 EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING ABT STIMULATING A CLIT IM IMMEDIATELY BRICKED 🧱🧱🧱 UP⬆️☝️🆙👆CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULDVE TIED SUNGIE UP WITH A VIBRATOR TO HIS CLIT AND LEAVE HIM THERE FOR HOOOUURRRSSS‼️♾️😝😛😫☝️😋💦 I WOULD SPEND THE WHHOLE MF DAY ON THAT DELICIOUS CLIT ‼️‼️😍😛😋🙌👅💦😽👉👌OH MY GOD I SOUND GAY ASF BUT IDC BC ITS PUSSY‼️‼️😻🫰WHO DOESNT LOVE PUSSY⁉️⁉️⁉️😾😾I LOVE PUSSY‼️‼️‼️��😛👅😻😽🙌 I WOULD EAT HANNIES PUSSY OUT ALL DAY ALL WEEK ALL MONTH ALL YEAR ALL CENTURY‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😜😜😽 THAT PUSSY IS SO MF JUICY💦💦 WND DELICIOUS AND IS BEGGING TO GET TOUCHED‼️‼️🙌👉👌😋

anyways pookie keep up the good work, amazing writing as always!! <3 🥰🥰💕 (definitely not rereading it for the fifth time and getting off on it…nooooo definitely not… ☺️☺️)

OH YM GOD i just logged in and this is the first thing i see 😭 I FUCKING SEE U ANON‼️ u are very seen

ANON I LOVE U SO MUCH MORE WTF THE AMOUNT OF PRAISE THAT U POURED OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HAS BOYPUSSY BROKEN US BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT HAS 😭😭😭 GOOD LORD and to think that this was supposedly just a private gift but mei is kind and i was able to post it … NOW IM SO GLAD I SHARED IT BC U HAVE FOOD TO EAT MY DEAREST ANON 😁

“ure my savior” yo…yo dont perceive me as messiah itll inflate the shit out of my ego /j and give me impostor syndrome /hj BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS gosh i cldnt stop giggling u made my day with these compliments like im just Some Guy but because of ur words i am now Some *Happy* Guy

and omg! URE RIGHT MAYBE SHOVING THE VIBE IN AND EATING HANNIES PRETTY BOY CLIT OUT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOD…but then again…TEASING THE BOY JUST FEELS SATISFYING ‼️‼️ i love hannie and his clit actually i love pussy in general i wish i had boypussy especially boyclit in my mouth rn (in a non sexual casual way) (which was what reader intended) (until y/n and han both went CRAZY)

i wont lie this ask gave me massive eye strain from the emojis /pos like that brings me joy ?! its an impressive thought to know that somebody out there is losing their mind over silly words i wrote and a few lines that i drew. CRAZYYYY thats crazy?!!!

ill keep this entire ask, print it into a booklet form, and reread it as if its a mini prayer guide. i cant anon ure so silly and precious HAHAHAH hope u have the nicest day always!

#failing english and yet conveying ur Very Normal Boypussy Feelings via tumblr ask is a Communication skill btw U SHOULDVE GOTTEN PERFECT!#<3 pookie anon #lovely isnt enough as an adjective tbh u need the crown #💌 ipeginbox

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tojisun · 5 months

Note

Sorry it turned into a depressing rant

Anon who asked about your fav studio ghibli movie here!

I love howls moving castle so much, I love the part when Sophie starts cleaning the house, I love how comforting it is

I love the sass from everyone, I love how kind Sophie is

I love howls line “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful” as much as it sucks I agree with him. I’m not smart so the only thing I can offer is my looks and personality to people I meet. If I’m not beautiful, then what’s the point? Sorry if it sounds shallow but when you have nothing to offer in this world, the only thing I can work on is how good I look and present myself. I know I shouldn’t think like that, it’s damaging

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, there will be people who find you attractive and there will be people who won’t. People you find attractive, others won’t, so sometimes I try not to think too much about it since we never know.

All my life I’ve been slow academically. My siblings are all smarter than me so I’m always the dumb one. I’m not skinny but I’m working on it, even tho it’s so hard, but I have to be skinny, my life will definitely turn around when I’m not too self conscious about my body. I know I’ll still have those negative thoughts and even after I’m skinny I won’t be happy but, as of now, I never leave the house, my anxiety about how I look keeps me from taking in person classes. I never want to leave the house unless I look good, because I don’t want anyone seeing me at my worst, I want everyone to see me as the best version of myself. So I never leave, my social skills have tanked since 2020 since that was the last time I took a in person class, and that was in high school 😭😭

I feel so immature and stupid, and people my age (19) are doing better than me. I just give up before I even try, and I’m so behind since I’m in my third year of college and I still don’t have an official major, I’m so behind, and last semester I didn’t take any classes cuz I was so depressed and embarrassed, since I failed two classes. It’s an horrible cycle of pity and dread and I’m scared I’ll never get rid of it. And I’m scared of talking to men, but I’m supposed to get married and have a kid before I’m 30 since you’re more fertile and it’s better to have kids young, and I’d love that but I’m scared my kids will turn out like me, disappointments. And I won’t know how to fix them.

So yeah… we veered off of howls moving castle.. my bad💀

re:

!! this got long im so sorry

first of: pls dont apologize! u are welcome to vent here in my blog, im happy to just be a bouncing wall to u guys (if my usually long responses arent what u guys wanted to see). thank u for trusting me (us) with this and im truly sorry for how late im responding

i do love those parts of howls moving castle! i never understood why howl was lamenting about his looks when i thought he looked beautiful w orange hair. orange used to be my favourite colour ^v^ it isnt one rn but i am still fond of it.

i loved orange even when howl didnt – u are correct that beauty in the eye of the beholder. beauty also goes a long way. it’s a horrible reality but when u grew up fat, u get told so many times about how much better life would be if u could just lose weight. i truly cant tell u when i stopped thinking so little of myself.

honestly love, its just so recent when i felt good enough in my own skin – blemishes n all. i never thought itd get better tbh; i thought itd stay this way but it got better. and im scared to promise to you a range of when it will get better, but i do know that it will.

u feel immature bc u are still young! 19 is so young so pls dont punish urself for feeling young, for thinking young, for not knowing anything past being young yet. as a younger sibling, ik for a fact im still so immature. it took me getting a job (during the weekdays) n going to uni for me to mature up, n i was 20 when that happened. so recent!

i also completed my associates slowly bc i was struggling in college! i once took a sem where i only had one class bc i was so overwhelmed that i had to slowly pace myself so i can keep going. high school babies u n then boom, u get hit w juggling responsibilities in college that kinda makes u wanna quit – but u didnt. u took a break and then bounced back!! my love, if that isnt resilience, then what is?

ive never wanted to settle down. i think its bc i thought id be gone by now that i just dont see myself having a family of my own so i apologize for not knowing how to empathize about the ‘deadline’ but u are just 19. before age 30 is so far away! u have sm to live for in between those years. sm to experience and to meet and to love!

also, not having a major yet is also fine! i declared a minor just this year – and im a fourth year already. pls dont worry. u have time – that is something i wanna keep emphasizing. u have time. it feels like the world is collapsing rn bc of fear and anxiety which, my old therapist told me, is a sign that u (and i) wanna keep going. that u wanna keep living.

and from what i could see, especially coming from me who wanted to just give it all up, that is enough. i know that the reasons behind u working on urself isnt a sustainable mentality, but hopefully one day u will wake up and own ur hard work for urself. not for others.

aaaa this got too long im so sorry, im being emotional on my end but i just want u to know: u are not a disappointment. u arent.

ur alive and ur making connections and ur trying ur best (even though it doesnt feel like that on ur end but u are!!) so how could u be a disappointment? and even if u dont wanna do anything, ur also not a disappointment. not even then.

ur future kids will be so lucky and happy to have u as their mom. and they too will be beautiful; they wont need any fixing bc there isnt anything broken to fix.

i love you. i dont know who u are but i love you. i love all of you.

#anon #ask #i am sorry for ranting. i dont know how to show u that i understand without ascribing life moments #thank u for trusting me #i hope this alleviates even a little of what youre carrying #take care <3

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lokilysolbitch · 5 months

Text

yeah so my childhood friend of 15 years chronically leaves me on read especially after i have a lot to say which really sucks ass because i actually used to have a whole system of different apps i texted her through so i wouldn't overwhelm one chat with all my spam and she would have time to read it when she wanted. but then a few years ago she was like "no you can spam me in the main app !! you can infodump and vent whenever you want !!" so i said "omg cool !!" and infodumped. and she fucking. left me on read and NEVER acknowledged it at all. and she still does it !!!!!!! that's actually partly why i post on social media at all, especially tumblr bc there's some random person who will want to read all that. anyways yeah im on read again and it's been twelve hours. she HAS spoken in a group chat where i can see her talking tho. which is even more sick rad and cool/sar

but yeah i'm gonna use tumblr for what i made it for, here's my bullshit. they're separate thoughts for the most part:

i'm keeping a count of eyelashes that fall out my eyelash bc for years it's seemed kind of excessive. yesterday was SEVEN. ALL AT ONCE. today is five. also all at once. i think the shedding ones get stuck in my lashes tho and don't come out until i try to get a single oddly placed one out of the way??? so maybe it's normal ???

me, whenever my playlist of my favorite songs plays my favorite songs: OH MY GOD I LOVE TJIS SONG

bro i found nail polish from when i was fucking SEVEN and that shit still works oh my god. the youngest polish i have is from when i was in middle school and most of them are still good. i wanna paint my nails again and i WILL be using these. the shimmery ones are fucking gorgeous.

OH don't get me started on my fucking catching fire nail polish that i got when i was idk 12 because i loved and love the hunger games. don't get me started. okay fine i'll start IT IS SO PRETTY AND SHINY IT FR LOOKS LIKE FIRE LIKE ITS GOT RED YELLOW AND ORANGE GLITTER AND WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT AHDJWIS SKWW SKEDID

and there's also my mockingjay blue polish. one time i painted my nails with it and scrawled "mockingjay" on it with fine line black nail polish and i only regret it not looking neater tbh. i WAS the cringe hunger games kid and not much keeps me from becoming one again

i have so much pink nail polish. i've never in my life liked pink like That tho. why are there so many. the pale pink does hit tho i'll give it that. goddamn it's pretty

the ac in my room doesn't work rn and it is quite literally. 50 something degrees in here. i have raynauds. i just want to feel my fingers again

all i'm saying. is they should make the dsm 5 less relatable idk. i am winning the put a finger down challenge but at what cost

it's really weird how no matter how you feel about someone you'll still see stuff at the store and think "they would like this"

----

okay i got tired i'm stopping now

#what the hell do i tag this #rambles #??#uhhhhhh #sure okay #as usual #i didn't proofread this #handmadeorganicpost

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mihai-florescu · 8 days

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Uhm I guess I have been thinking about this for a while and could use an opinion, but like during an event there would be someone who goes “XYZ event sucks and stuff” so you kinda press on seeing their opinion, only to realise they haven’t read it at all, the whole time their opinions have been based on that one line.However that one line completely mischaracterises the character and stuff. So I have been thinking is it right to judge the story or completely ignore the story because of that one line. I get that’s it’s because like XYZ character has been screwed up but at the same time it’s just one line , and one’s opinion on a story shouldn’t be based off one line. it’s the whole book your supposed to look at not a single line of dialogue. I don’t know if this is a stupid take so please correct me if I have made a gigantic mistake

Im not exactly sure what the problem is, i dont see what the stupid take can be, youre just saying very common sense things... i'd always recommend reading the story for yourself? I get that discussing it with people is fun but lately i've really been more and more put off by the thought of interacting with a fandom cuz i simply dont trust most people to have the same willingness to analyze why something might've been written. Plus the game of telephone where ppl think they know what's going on in a story from one out of context screenshot is crazy (there's an instance im thinking about with an izumi story rn...eye twitch). I dont think completely ignoring the whole story because of a line is the way to go, even with the worst of the worst you can still sit with it and analyze why you disliked it. Or why that line was said: was it really just random, or was it reflecting a seemingly contradictory duality the character has? Was it there to convey a message? What was that message? How does it connect to what the others were saying? Etcetc. It's so easy to take the doylist perspective but the watsonian one is more rewarding and fun (well, neither should be discarded, but the doylist one shouldnt be the first and only one used)

The only thing i ever hope for is that people dont just make up their opinions from what theyve heard from other people, and actually look into it themselves. The only other thing i hope for is to distance oneself from the concept of a great fandom with its mainstream fanon thoughts if you want to stay true and untainted. I made this sound more serious than it probably is but also it's life or death serious. To me. Also good morning, if anything sounds off i had another vivid, long and stressful dream im still recovering from. If youd want to talk, as always my dms are also open; ive not been the biggest fan of answering asks for quite some time now, i dont know why they can take up so much energy from me. I think a dialogue in dms where you can also give me more concrete examples and we can discuss them case by case would be more productive than me just yapping about my views unsure of who im talking to exactly. Not that i dont like a monologue, but it's scary when it should be a dialogue yet im talking to a veiled ghost in the form of an anon ask instead:(

#ask #anon

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sphericalbee · 9 days

Text

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

#tw suicide #motivational kind of maybe i think??#i won't kill myself gdfhgggdsad dw i just think ab not having to deal w everything and it seems like such an easy way out #but i got more shit to do!!#ur not getting rid of me for 40 more years at the latest #vent #(??)#not rly #more like #a thought dump #tw anorexia #tw ed #tw eating disorder #just mentioned but still there #personal #thats not even a tag i use im just putting whatever #bye bye #there's a giant ass bug in my shower so i washed my hair in the sink

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daphnebowen · 8 months

Text

hsmtmts season four episode six

Gina is just trying to get out of there but coach Bolton is distracting her - and then he says “technically Disney won’t let me spoil the movie but …” and then proceeds to spoil the whole movie! What!

“sweetie” Ricky is really rocking the whole grandpa thing huh

nobody told them about the show?!?! Terrible friends, they are.

I don’t understand how them missing one rehearsal leads to the whole show being cancelled as well as the whole drama department being cancelled??? Like hello??? You can’t take away theater, people. That doesn’t work like that. Or, it shouldn’t.

”I thought you broke up with him because you were so traumatized” help 💀

“we both needed lactaid pills” period

”wait so you’re single again??” YES MADDOX GET HER GIRL

aw miss Jenn called in mazzy!!

why does robotics get everything like how is that so different from theater?? They have lights and fancy robot props, like what??

IM GONNA CRY POOR EMMY all of her dreams have been crushed :(

“If you live your life in fear there’s gonna be a lot of stuff to be afraid of” YES KOURTNEY show us what you’ve got!!!! Kourtney is a new woman her therapist is really helping her (meanwhile Ricky: “then why do you look like you’re about to cry?”

please be sentimental Ashlyn I’m begging you I need this rn

poor Kourtney she just doesn’t want to be a third wheel

And poor Ashlyn she just wants to step out from under ejs shadow

THIS IS SO WHOLESOME

Mr mazarra looks like he is about to explode - he really does look like the grimacing emoji 😬

poor miss Jenn is so naive 🥺

THE FACT THAT MAZZY WAS IN A BOY BAND IM CRYING and so is Benny ! He’s apologizing! Next he just needs to confess his love for her!

mr. Funky one I’m crying

spirit airlines is CRAZY (they suck btw)

”crying is encouraged” yes, I love crying, crying makes me feel so good about myself and let’s me release all of the negativity like a balloon, never feel ashamed to cry

AW CARLOS GAVE MISS JENN HER NAME

The fact that they bullied Carlos and now he’s friends with some of the most popular / coolest kids in school

how do you even draw a cow on a cappuccino??

the fact that basically everyone went behind Carlos’s back to help Seb get the sheet music so he could sing this song is so wholesome “you did what?” “Give him a chance, Carlos.” “That girl scares me.”

OMG I FORGOT NATALIE AND SEB DATED but it totally makes sense, I wonder when they broke up though. and he was on the wrestling team too! I didn’t know that either 😣

“I would leave anyone for you.” AWWWHHH SEBBIEEE

”no. No. No! You’re playing the song. He’s playing the BLEEP song, Carlos.” Yesss Ricky, do it!!

sebs look of astonishment and awe when Carlos starts singing with them

they sound so good together

the fact that they shot it so all the couples were in a screen together - miss Jenn and Mr mazarra, Ricky and Gina, Kourtney and jet, Maddox and Ashlyn, and Carlos and seb

SEASON ONE GINA!!!!! “I am impressed that she didn’t mention the time I set the school on fire though” wonder why Gina wasn’t the number one suspect for that season one theater fire…

“find something you like about this school and try not to kill it” words of encouragement from the principal 😒 BUT THATS RICKYYY and he’s not dead yet so she’s winning!

SEASON ONE RICKYYY

”love is lame, idiot. That’s why I avoid it.” Well, not anymore! 🤪🤪🤪

RINA CUEEEEE AHHHHHH

okay the fact that Tim and all the writers were able to link it all back together to show us that through it all, through rini and through portwell and through everything, Ricky and nini were meant to be. They influenced each other so strongly without even realizing it. This is why they work. Ricky has a vibe, and Gina has an instinct.

ALYSON REED GAVE MISS JENN HER ICONIC LINE TRUST THE PROCESS!!! And the idea for high school musical! And the idea for the power ballad! Aka wondering! OMG!!

I would genuinely be heartbroken if this were real life and I was in a show and it got cancelled.

mazzy: GIVE HER A MINUTE

Ricky is breaking my heart bro

AHHH OMG YESSS EMMYYYYY I literally still get chills whenever I listen to this song because Liamani sounds so freaking good

”I said it and now it cannot be unsaid” ain’t that the truth

coach Bolton and Mrs darbus really came to save the day!!! <3

so many questions for miss Jenn but it’s ok you’ll figure it out

Kourtney is just interrupting Ricky and Gina’s very important serious conversation like they need to get their priorities straight - and here Ricky goes like he did with nini and assuming things

”I wanted to make sure this was real before I said… something” AHHH WE KNOW WHAT IT IS

”I feel like I always go first” yes you do

okay but miss Jenn and Mike Bowen going behind Ricky’s back to apply to slc college for him is literally how ms darbus went behind troys back to apply for him for Juilliard lol

RICKY JUST CALLED MAZZY OUTTTT AHAHA

”okay..” he looks so scared

WHY DOES RICHARD HAVE A 1.8 GPA THATS EMBARRASSINGGGGG

”as long as she’s here my future is locked” AHHH RICKYYYYY HE SAID ITTTTT FORESHADOWING TO THE PORTER-BOWENS

#hsmtmts #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #high school musical the musical the series #kourtney greene #jet hsmtmts #emmy hsmtmts #all the other characters I don’t wanna type out 😪

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setsunatekiblast · 1 month

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sorry this is like fully just insane babble and a look into truly how fucking weird i am in the head im really considering making a blog JUST for venting but im too lazy to do that rn

so like general rundown for context

i did some really downright shitty things as a teenager as a result of unresolved trauma in basically every corner of my life at the time (obviously this doesnt absolve me from what happened). when i was told about the extent of it i apologised and distanced myself & never talked to anyone involved ever again.

months later when i expressed that a former friend who had (in my opinion, rightfully) stepped in to stop the situation from worsening had caused me harm prior to all this and that it was still impacting me on my private account, it was leaked to her. i was threatened with a callout post and she was acting like i wasnt truly sorry for the things i'd done/trying to change even though i had done my level best to be accountable for my behaviour and do what was asked of me.

because of everything that'd already happened + this i was living in this constant state of severe anxiety. as in, i could hardly eat due to feeling nauseous every moment i was conscious, would randomly start shaking and crying & my physical health was deteriorating at many points. i was like this from about july all the way through to november-early december, i think?

like all of this happened five years ago but ive absolutely refused to let myself move on because i thought i would be dodging accountability for my behaviour but i've kind of just had a mental shift recently (maybe from my kansai trip i think it did something to me). looking back while talking to my friend i internalised everything about that series of incidents so hard that i considered myself a horrible and irredeemable person, so ive been keeping myself at arms length from others because i didnt want it to happen all over again and didnt trust myself to actually change. i thought that if i was pursuing relationships with others, i wasnt being accountable enough and dodging my past behaviour.

idk im just tired of living like this. im tired of all the self-sabotage and the fear and anxiety i have over the most minor of things. i'm tired of jumping up and running at the first signs of closer friendships forming. i had a panic attack over someone calling me a friend for gods sake, that's not normal. its not! the fact i even struggle to call people friends because of all this fear about relationships with others after all that isn't good and i need to change from that lol

even just thinking that i deserve better makes me feel like im swallowing needles and glass though, and it sucks so fucking much LMFAOOOOOOO. i dont even know what to do because i feel so shitty about even trying to pursue support from those closest to me. i feel like i'm asking so, so much of people when i cant give much of anything in return. not to mention that right now even the idea of being misunderstood makes me feel absolutely terrible and like i need to be on the defensive. in general i feel like i offer so little that trying to lean on people is selfish and that i'm just going to end up hurting them like i did that friend who simply just wanted to help me. i don't want to feel this way anymore but it's a cycle and i don't know how to stop feeling so horrid about everything and actually. well. allow myself to feel supported AND be normal in the head about it

like i need to move on not just for my sake but because. really. it's been such a long time and i don't even recognise the person i was in those messages. but i can hear just how much pain my past self was in and that just sucks, man. my friend didn't want me to suffer, but he was rightfully hurt and angered by the way i behaved. the best way to show my remorse has always been to do better by those who come into my life, but i never wholly succeeded in that because 90% of the time i would sabotage my own relationships with others and not get too close out of fear that i was going to ruin it all and just be as shitty as i was before. i thought closing myself off would be doing right by him, and to a degree it was. but it wasn't productive for me because i wasn't doing anything but closing myself off

anyway i handled something pretty good tonight that i know my past self wouldve probably flipped out about so that's probably a good sign i guess. its actually kind of surprising to see that even though my spoons are maybe a 1 at best rn i can still handle things with some grace and tact and Not be terrible. idk. maybe things are gonna be okay, especially since i have so many people in my corner nowadays who want nothing more than to see me overcome everything

#blabber #SORRY. i needed to get this shit off my chest before i sleep #i just wanna be okay again and allow myself to have relationships with others like a normal human being again #anyway i have been listening to a STUPID amount of rina sawayama songs these last three weeks #im about to go sleep for like a year or something god i cant wait to talk to my counsellor in like two weeks #he is going to have a field day with this after he heard about my home life during these years

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moonjxsung · 2 months

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the fact that it’s skz fanfiction just makes it even better bc sometimes i just forget im reading a fanfic. and you’re just so indescribably good! i can’t wait for the rest of your fics for this year (especially chabgbin👀👀👀).

i feel you! music is something that takes a lot of time and motivation to get back into. it sucks that your bracers changed your structure, i was obsessed with classic rock artists biographies and i once read that freddie mercury rejected getting braces out of fear that something like that happened. i hope your relationship with music heals its best.

thanks for the good wishes!! i’m hoping that they help us but if we can’t contact them we’ll try on the weekend again🤞🏻 thank you and your fam for helping the kitties! kitties deserve all the love. i also wish i could rescue them all and keep them safe with me. and side story, my love for cats was actually how i got into skz. bc i saw somewhere (it didn’t even have a picture of him) that lee know had rescued his cats and helped other cats in need. and i was like “lee know, whoever you are, you are my new ult bias” and then i saw him and yeah, his other layers are just as great. people who help cats (and animals in general and other people) have a special piece of my heart forever💜

(ps. i’ve been super curious about your felix pc purchases😂 can i be nosy and ask which have been your faves?)

-🐈‍⬛

That is SUCH a compliment thank you so so much pookie 😭🫶 I’m excited for the other members’ fics too! Planning on getting one full length fic for each member out this year so stay tuned 👀

Yeah my braces were such an unfortunate thing, and it sucks especially because I was in that weird time of my life where I valued my looks so much, so not getting braces wasn’t an option but I truly had no clue the toll it would take on my music career. So unfortunate ☹️ I hope to get back to piano one day though 🥹🫶

YOU’RE SOOOO REAL FOR THE LEE KNOW CAT THING….. one of my sisters doesn’t even like kpop and even she thought it was adorable when I told her about Lee Know and his cats like no one can resist how cute it is that he’s such a loving cat father 😭😭 agreed that anyone who helps animals is just the best kind of person !!

AS FOR THE FELIX PC QUESTION…… here are my favs as of right now (I don’t have the last one yet but it’s a wishlist item!) (and the second one is a pic from Mercari bc mine is in a keychain rn) BUT HONESTLY THERE ARE TOOOO MANY TO PICK FROM….. FELIX PCS ARE SO GOOD 💔💔🫶🫶🫶🫶

I love u pookie!!!!

#🐈‍⬛ anon #ask

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lobotomycase · 10 months

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ok but you are so right, thanks for giving me your point of view regarding sugi! i guess i felt the ending was a little anti-climatic, because as you said, it went from cliffhanger to sudden chillness, but- that was the point wasn't it. it was over.

as for the persimmons i guess i didn't want it to be a big thing, just. i like suffering HAHAH i liked how sugimoto grieved, but at the end of the day that's just how life is, you have to move on there is no real *big* moment of enlightenment, he just *shrugs* was ready to start moving on, thanks to asirpa and the experiences he had thru the story 😊

what do you think abt people wishing he had died tho? i personally don't think much about that, i like that he's alive, and i would also have liked if he died 🤔 both outcomes are good for his character

wait omg tumblr glitched! im only getting this rn!!!!!!!

but yeah yeah that's exactly it no? moving on, sometimes it isn't like this big thing, this like huge revelation moment. sometimes it just... is. sometimes you change and you don't really realise how much you have changed until you look back. and i think at the end thats just such a good ending for gk to have. because its fundamental message isnt about the grief of human existence but that change is good. like especially taking into account asirpa deciding to dedicate her life to fighting for her people's rights and moving on from the shadow of her father it ties in real nicely with sugimoto's own narrative too.

see, my main issue with the asirpa and sugimoto ending is that.... even tho i dont think noda intended it like that, its too... ambiguous for my taste? like ppl who ship them (🤢🤮) could totally look at that ending and see them as canon. which um. yeah 😐

BUT as for sugimoto being alive im also so glad hes alive and people who say he should have died are just haters u_u

i will admit that i thought he WOULD die for most of the series. the whole "immortal" sugimoto things just felt like foreshadowing to me sjdksjdnks and noda had very obviously planned his story out so the constant bringing up of it just felt like it was setting up hid death. and during the entire last arc i was biting my nails the whole time because i was SO convinced noda would kill him i wasnt relieved until i saw him in the last chapter haha

but looking back now, i think we should have known he would survive when he completely gave up on the gold and decided to help asirpa. bc like i said the core message of gk isn't suffering its that people are able to overcome their past and move on. i mean, most of the major characters's arcs revolve around this (tanigaki, tsukishima, inkarmat, asirpa, sugimoto, i guess even ogata to an extent (tho his would be more about how he DOESNT move on))

so for all of this character development to be poured down the drain at the last moment....... that would have sucked more tbh. it would have felt empty and out of the blue.

but im also biased so if noda had decided to kill him off i would be saying the opposite lmao

it really is just the sugimoto asirpa shippers that have me -_- there were too many moments in the manga that made me go: "hm. -_- " for me to be able to rest easy with them going back to live together. maybe if everyone were normal and didnt ship them i wouldn't mind bc they both have an incredibly strong bond and they changed each other fundamentally so them having parted ways in the end would have broken my heart. but it was too damn vague..... like i said, i dont think (at least i hope NOT) noda intended it like that, but...... i cant trust people not to be weird about it. noda i need you to confirm sugimoto gay RIGHT NOW pls pls pls.

#ty for the ask!!!! i will now be having much golden kamuy thoughts ^_^#talking noize

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